Guardian One-Half
by TheDevian
Summary: While being chased through town one day, Ranma somehow managed to avoid the walkway washer woman, and his fate subtly changed. My apologies to anyone who has been waiting on the next chapter of my first story, Nodoka 2/1, my editor got sidetracked, and while I was waiting on him to catch up, I started this "short story" idea that grew well out of hand.
1. Chapter 1

Guardian 1/2

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Thank you to Hiryo and Veedramon, who were indispensable in helping me to brainstorm some of the ideas that inspired this story and kept it moving, and as always, thanks to Hiryo for help editing.

For this story, I have done a strange mix of the anime and manga versions, and so things are happening in a somewhat different order, I just latched onto a few ideas I thought were funny, and ran with it. Some things happen sooner, others happen later or not at all, it just depended on what sounded fun at the time. Some of the changes might not make the most sense, or even be entirely 'in character', I just started writing this with only a vague idea of what I was going to do with it, the continuity kind of wrote itself, even as it grew out of hand, so this is what we ended up getting. I never intended for this to get too complicated or lore detailed, so, as they say, "don't sweat the small stuff". XD

There are no actual crossovers in this story, though there are a small number of cameos, and few dream sequences which are inspired by other things. I also do not consider anything that was in the source material, or in cannon same world, as a crossover. For example, Lum and company lived in the same town, but their adventures were a few years before this story started, and the game Street Fighter 2 exists, Shampoo and others have been seen playing it on the Super Famicom in the manga and anime. It may have been a parody version in canon, but I do not have that limitation. Due to the three characters whose names were changed, I tried not to mention them directly, sorry if make a mistake there.

As many of you who have read my other currently still in progress story, Nodoka 2/1, I generally separate physical gender, from gender identity, so it is unlikely for me to refer to Ranma using a female pronoun, even while in cursed form. He is a literal example of a male trapped in a female body, so unless I write a scene where his gender identity changes, that is just not going to happen intentionally, though I am not above making mistakes.

The idea for the opening chase came to me a while back, but I kept it on the back burner, but when I was having trouble getting feedback on my other story and kept getting stuck, I worked on this in my spare time, and well, it kind of took over ...sorry about that. Happosai had been up to his old tricks, and Ranma avoided being changed into a girl during the ensuing chase ...which had profound effects on what followed.

Fair Warning, there are also a few spoilers from Kimagure Orange Road's first movie, I Want to Return to That Day, and a few other unrelated movies, with well known plots, like the Journey to the West.

Most of all, this story is dedicated to my late friend, Jim Bader, and his Reality Bytes series, we miss you buddy.

Legal Notice: Reading this story, constitutes your unconditional acceptance and agreement of the following terms, conditions, and opinions, expressed or implied, as intended by the author without further clarification. You agree to not sue me, to not take anything too seriously, and to maybe write a review when you are done. And of course, all rights to the characters within, belong to the respective owners, primarily, Rumiko Takahashi, I am just trying to have a little fun and practice. Please enjoy. XD

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Long, long ago, on a planet, far, far away, an old man sat on a beach, wishing he had someone to whom he could converse. He did not get his wish... nor did this have anything at all to do with our story, so we will leave him to his dull fate.

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Kasumi Tendo was not one prone to panic, after all, things tended to work out for the best, at least, they always had in her experience, so she was not initially concerned about the loud commotion that she heard rapidly approaching. Loud noises were mostly ignored around the district, most people would only pay them enough attention to make sure they were not directly caught up in the resulting commotion, and to clean up the mess they left behind. While Kasumi had heard stories of exactly how 'messy' some of these events could be, she had always assumed it was exaggerated to make for a better story, but what she was about to see made her quickly rethink that, and it boggled her mind to consider the implications of that fact.

When she finally turned and saw the source of the noise, it was not as close as she had first thought, a dust cloud could be seen rising above the buildings, and then it finally turned the corner. There were so many people running it seemed as though there was a marathon happening, one that the fate of the world might well have depended upon, if one took the intensity of the people involved to heart.

As the horde roared along, Kasumi finally came to the realization that she was directly in its path, and that if she did not move, she would be in danger of being trampled. She felt strange, on one hand, she was blindly trying to run away from the rioting crowd, hoping to at least not be trampled as she was caught up in the flow, yet at the same time, a detached part of her mind was disappointed in herself for trying to run ahead of the herd, instead of trying to get out of the way by moving to the side.

Before she had time to finish that thought, she felt her feet leave the ground as many hands began to push and lift her from her feet. Fearing the worst, she started to pray for her family, hoping they would be able to get along without her. However, instead of the pain of being flattened, what she felt was a warm comfort enveloping her entire body, a sharp contrast to her expectations based on the way this encounter had begun.

"There we go, I've got you, Kasumi-san."

"Ranma-kun, what-?"

"Don't worry, won't let you get hurt on account a' me, just hold on tight!"

Kasumi slowly opened one eye and stiffened as she looked over Ranma's shoulder to see how close the angry masses had come, she even thought she saw an elephant, making her clutch more tightly to her 'savior'. The looks on the faces of some of the women in the crowd suddenly darkened, and their nearness concerned her somewhat. A part of her was apprehensive that she might be the reason they were now throwing things their way, she also worried that her weight might be too much for Ranma, and the reason he was slowing down. Not wanting to be the cause of him getting hurt, she was about to ask him to drop her so he would be able to escape, when Ranma leapt into the air, landing on one roof only to jump again! Kasumi's eyes went wide, unable to believe the view of the ground, and most of the crowd getting much further away, very quickly.

A large part of her wanted to clench her eyes tight and wait to wake up, but another part of her, a much smaller part, was exhilarated by the feeling of the wind in her hair and on the side of her face, the feeling of almost flying. Even watching those members of the pack who were able to follow them through the sky, was not enough to completely remove the disbelief at the feeling of soaring through the air. It was not until most of them had gotten lost or distracted, that she focused her attention ahead of them. For the first time, she felt the wind truly in her face, she could see the skyline below them, along with most of the town. It was a breathtaking sight.

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A short time later, Ranma had felt certain that he had lost the last of his most tenacious pursuers, even as the feeling of Kasumi clinging to him remained ...along with the rest of her. He was fairly positive that they were alone, but she had not yet let go of him. "Kasumi-san, I think we're safe now."

"Oh my, but where are we?" Kasumi looked around, from their vantage point atop the building, she could see fairly far, but did not recognize any of the buildings.

Looking around, he realized that they were in another prefecture entirely, one that he landed in occasionally when a particular person would send him flying. Ranma was not sure why, he had been trying to get back to the Tendo's house, but once he had picked up Kasumi, that had started to feel like a bad idea. He wasn't sure what happened, but the panic induced fog had lifted from his mind, and he realized that going home with so many angry people chasing him, would likely end in the destruction of at least part of their home, and that should probably be avoided when possible, he also had Kasumi's safety to think about. While Ranma knew she was strong in her own way, she was not a martial artist, and while he did not like to ever see any innocent person get hurt, especially if he played any role in it, but the idea that anyone would hurt Kasumi filled him a rage he did not entirely understand. "I think this is Nakano, several kilometers south-east a' Nerima. Akane sends me here once in a while."

Having still not gotten to her feet, Kasumi hugged him more tightly. "Oh my, that is nice of you to run errands for Akane-chan..." Seeing the look that crossed his face, her error was realized, though he spoke not a word. Some people might have accused Kasumi of not paying attention to the world around her, but that could not have been further from the truth, she was usually very observant. It was not that she did not notice what was going on, it was just that she chose to see the best in everything, and not let herself be too bothered by the things she was unable to change. As if to prove that point, she thought it might be best if she were to change the subject. "Oh dear, how will we get home in time? I did not even get the shopping done... and the busses are crowded this time of day."

"Well, don't go gettin' th' wrong idea or nuthin' but if ya want, I'll carry you back. It might not be the best way for ya ta travel, an' I don't want ya ta think I'm trin' ta do nuthin' perverted or nuthin', but it would be faster than th' bus, an' I can help, with carrying stuff, or whatever." Ranma looked embarrassed, he would have been rubbing the back of his neck had his hands not been full.

"Oh no, you do not have to go to that much trouble for me, I can take the bus. Although, we would need to get down from here first..."

"It's not any trouble, I mean I have ta go home too, an' it ain't like yer very heavy er nuthin', an' I am way faster than any bus."

Kasumi's blush matched Ranma's for a moment. "You couldn't mean that! You shouldn't lie, even if it is just to be polite..."

"No, really, I can go way faster than a bus, they make way too many stops!"

"No, I mean... Oh never mind, I suppose it would be nice to have some help for once. Thank you, Ranma-kun, I will take you up on your offer."

"Oh no, it ain't nuthin', I mean it's my fault you didn't get nuthin' done." As Ranma turned his head to look around, trying to get a better view of the area, he noticed something in Kasumi's lap. "Um, what ya got there, Kasumi-san?"

For the first time, Kasumi saw what Ranma had been talking about. "Oh my, what is this?" Leaving one arm around Ranma's shoulders, she picked up the half-scroll, turning it over in her hand, and they both looked it over. "Do you think that perhaps it fell in my lap during that gathering back there?"

"Well, I didn't see it while we were running... so it had ta be. Anything could a' happened in that mess!"

Kasumi wondered about that, but chose not to say anything. "Are you absolutely sure I am not too heavy for you?"

Ranma laughed softly, trying not to deafen his future sister in-law. "Nah Kasumi, there'd have ta be a lot more a'ya before I would even notice the weight! Yer far too light ta be a problem."

"I know you mean well, Ranma-kun, but you shouldn't lie, especially to an old woman."

"What old woman? There's nobody up here but us, ..an' ain't lying! I can barely even tell I'm holding ya, no, I mean... ya don't weigh nuthin', oh never mind..." Ranma flinched, expecting to be struck, flat-out surprised that he had not been hit yet, assuming it was only a matter of time, It was on days, like the one he was having, that made him feel like the universe's punching-bag. Even the people who claimed to love him, always seemed to find a reason to try to beat him senseless, and it was not as though he felt that he needed any help in that department!

Kasumi's blush intensified, before putting the scroll in her shopping bag. "I do not think we will be passing that market on the way home, so I will just take it to the police-box when I go out tomorrow. Hopefully no one will be looking for it until then."

"If ya think that is best, Kasumi-san. Ya ready to go?" Seeing her nod, Ranma prepared to jump. "Hold on tight, an' let me know where ya want ta shop."

Silently admitting to herself that she did not have much choice, she tucked her bag between them, wrapping her arms around Ranma's chest, and leaning her head on his shoulder. She knew she ought to be watching where they were going so she could give Ranma directions, but despite usually smiling, Kasumi felt the irresistible urge to hide her grin, the reasons for which were completely lost on her.

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Thanks to Ranma, she had gotten the shopping done and made it home in record time. She had only been put a bit behind schedule, and she could not be happier about it. They shouted out "Tadaima!" as they removed their shoes, but received no response, though Ranma was certain their fathers were home, and were ignoring them as they played their games.

Ranma followed Kasumi into the kitchen, carrying their shopping bags, where Kasumi made sure Ranma washed his hands as well before she started to gather everything that she needed, including an apron for each of them. Ranma used cold water to wash his hands, feeling more comfortable helping as a girl. Kasumi was not sure how she felt about that, but did not comment.

As she started to heat the pan, Kasumi had him wash and cut the vegetables. She remembered Ranma had helped to prepare dinner the last time Akane and the others had volunteered to cook, though she had not seen it being made, and could not be sure what had been made by him, though when she saw Ranma work, her jaw just dropped, unable to believe not only the speed at which he worked, but the uniformity of the pieces. It was like watching an artist painting a masterpiece before her very eyes …if only he had washed them first. She had been so enthralled, that she almost burnt her own mushrooms! She quickly added some broth, and some of the other vegetables Ranma had already cut for her, saving it from getting a burnt flavor.

After recovering slightly, Kasumi started requesting Ranma's help on other steps in their meal's preparation, increasing the complexity with each task, while carefully watching every step, gently guiding the boy turned girl as needed. After so many years of failure with her only other willing student, she had thought that she was incapable of teaching anyone, so it came as a rather large shock when she realized that Ranma had not only prepared most of the meal, but it looked almost as good as her own!

The last thing she did was to ask Ranma to set the table while she looked over the food, tasting each dish, judging the flavors, while making minor adjustments ...and she was very pleased with the results. She was glad they had bought the extra ingredients, she had thought they might need them if Ranma made any mistakes, but it turned out the only mistake had been her own, and now she could give him extra portions as a reward for helping her! With that in mind, Kasumi considered what to do as she did some of the clean-up, knocking over the shopping bag. She caught the scroll fragment as it fell toward the floor, shoving it into her apron's pocket.

Soon after, Ranma returned and Kasumi was ready for him. As the young redhead walked into the room, Kasumi poured warm water over his head, and handed him a towel. "Uh, thanks, Kasumi-san?"

"No, thank you Ranma-kun, you have a serious talent for cooking, it is almost a crime that you do not nurture it like any other art."

He wasn't sure if Kasumi had chosen that wording intentionally or not, but that had struck a chord in him. "Art?" Ranma's mind flashed to Ukyo, and all of the other food-based martial arts that he had witnessed over the years. Kasumi saw the thoughtful look on Ranma's face, and gained a hopeful one herself. "Ya might have a point, Kasumi-san, I got ta admit I've seen that enough times..."

"If you ever want to do more ...training, you be sure to ask me, ne?"

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"Oh my son! Spending time in the kitchen, cooking, ...like a WOMAN! Where did this lowly father go wrong?"

"You've got the 'lowly' part right." Akane glared at the man responsible for bringing her frustrating fiancee into her life.

Nabiki looked up, with a grin. "For five-hundred yen, I'll start you a list..."

Soun whispered into Genma's ear. "I know it is unusual, my old friend, but you have to admit, one of them is going to need to cook, or our grandchildren may never live to be trained!"

Genma's mood instantly shifted. "Hummm, you might have a point, Tendo-kun." Genma turned to face his son, cautiously eyeing him up and down. "Well boy, to make up for this, you had better make your father plenty of good food-..."

Genma had been cut off by being kicked into the pond. "Who would make anything for YOU?"

Ranma fumed as Genma emerged from the pond, holding a sign that said, '...and don't let anyone find out!'

As everyone sat back down to the table, Kasumi pulled a very large platter of bamboo from somewhere, placing it before Genma's place at the table. When she got to Ranma's plate, she served him triple portions of everything. "This is a thank you for all of your help today ...and for saving my life." Kasumi's voice added three levels of sweetness as she turned back to Genma as she saw him eyeing Ranma's plate. "If you are that hungry, Uncle Genma, do not forget, I have stocked enough bamboo for you to eat for the entire week ...at every meal."

Nabiki raised both of her eyebrows, it was rare for anyone to defend Ranma, and her older sister rarely got involved in anyone else's business! That meant that what she said about saving her life must have been true ...this could get very interesting, very interesting indeed. She kept sparing glances, wondering when her little sister, or even Ranma, would catch on, but Akane seemed too distracted by something, likely related to Ranma beating her at cooking again, judging by the way she stared at the food on the table. Her little sister would violently object if anyone suggested she needed to improve her cooking, and yet she tried so hard to do just that. When Nabiki, who had almost never made anything more complicated than coffee, could manage better than many would suspect, let alone someone who tried as hard as her sister, there was something wrong. It just went to show, effort alone was not enough to succeed, and when it came to cooking, Nabiki decided to lead her sister by example, and not try.

Aside from the dark cloud hanging over Akane's head, the rest of the meal had been relatively uneventful, but even she paused in her fuming to look up when Kasumi served Genma's portion of human food to Ranma, since the panda-cursed man was not able to eat it. It really helped enforce Kasumi's veiled threat, for those who had noticed it in the first place, which meant herself and possibly Genma... He was difficult for even Nabiki to figure out some days, but some elements were consistent, his greed, his thoughtlessness, and his equal parts respect and disdain for her older sister. Nabiki had a feeling that Kasumi reminded him of someone who terrified the man, though she could not imagine whom that might have been, combined with a healthy respect of knowing where his next meal would come from, if he got one at all.

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At breakfast, Ranma was surprised, but happy that his father did not attempt to take his food while still in human form, for the first time in his recollection. He was not sure what had caused it, but was not about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Even Akane had mostly ignored him, and since he had also managed to keep his own mouth shut, it had been what he would call 'a good morning'.

...Or it had been, until he arrived at the school to find an unhappy crowd waiting on him, even his closest friends looking as though they wanted his blood. The hoard gathered around the gate, clamoring for his head, and demanding answers.

"Ranma!"

"Prepare to die!"

"You Svengali!"

"Ranchan!"

"How am I supposed to follow all of this? One at a time!"

"Ohohohohohohoho! Ranma-sama, my love, who was that hussy clinging to you yesterday? It was most unsightly."

"What ...did ...YOU ...say ...about ...KASUMI-SAN?" The sudden heat in Ranma's eyes directed toward the gymnast and the harsh change in his voice had shocked almost everyone present, it had even made Ukyo and Shampoo instantly rethink their current strategies. Both of them were glad that they had not been the ones who triggered that outburst, and decided to look into this at a later date, whatever happened, it could not have been that THAT important. Even those who could not see his battle-aura, backed away from the intensity of Ranma's change in mood. Almost every one of them had enough of a grasp of Ranma's abilities to know better than to poke the hornets' nest when he was in such a mood.

"The harlot, who was attached to your-..."

The only people who did not back off, including all three of the Kunos, were blown away by the explosion of ki that was one Ranma Saotome. It had made quite a mess, but it had also taken out some of the more obnoxious members of the school's population, so most of the student body considered it a wonderful bargain, for most of them, it had been a relatively peaceful morning.

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Ranma's day had been mostly ...unpleasant to say the least, and just got worse with every moment. After the events of that morning, it seemed as though everyone else had spent the day harassing him, even Nabiki kept demanding answers. Discretion being the better part of valor, he broke down and used the Saotome Final Attack: Run Away, to avoid answering anything else. He had told them there was nothing to worry about and that nothing unusual happened, but no one ever listened to him! He ended up spending most of the day on the roof, behind the clock-tower, where even Hinako-sensei wasn't able to get to him. It might not have been the most productive way to spend the day, but it certainly could have been worse...

Knowing school was about to let out for the day, he jumped from the roof, to go for a run before he went home, wanting to avoid the usual problems. He had not made it very far before he felt an incredibly powerful and dark aura, worse yet, it seemed to be following him. Not being in the mood to deal with that, or anything else, Ranma tried to lose it, but had little luck. Before long, trying to ditch his stalker became more trouble than it was worth, and he changed plans, and led them to an empty area, where they would do less damage if a fight broke out. The aura seemed familiar, it was not anyone he knew, but he was certain that he had sensed it somewhere recently...

Once he had left the downtown area and had made it into the suburbs, he saw the source of the aura he had been sensing. The towering black aura was almost as wide as the street, and more than two stories tall, with glowing red eyes, sending anything flying that got in its way. Ranma vaguely remembered seeing that during this 'afternoon run' the day before, but had no idea what it could have wanted from him, he was certain that he would have remembered facing such an opponent!

Upon reaching the edge of town, Ranma came to an area still under development, with empty lots, and places still under construction, where he turned to face the monstrous aura that had been following him. Unwilling to show fear, he took up a cautious stance. "Oi, just what's your problem?"

The gargantuan battle aura began to fade, revealing an almost equally enormous ...elephant? Ranma blinked, certain his eyes were paying tricks on him as a beautiful young woman was lowered to the ground by its trunk. She stared at Ranma with a deadly intensity, sending waves of panic through Ranma, he was certain that he had just gained another unwanted member in his equally unwanted harem.

"You is boy from before! One what was with Happosai! Where scroll? Know you have, Lychee already check everyone else!"

"What? You mean that half a scroll with the red tassel?"

"You really see it?" The cute young woman, looked hopeful as she clasped her hands together, pleading with Ranma. "Please, you must help Lychee get back scroll, only way Lychee can get married!"

Ranma really started to freak out at the mention of marriage. THAT was one of the very last things he needed! "Um, no, wait, you don't want that! It ain't safe!"

"Lychee no have choice, hold scroll, wait for prince to come!"

"Well, I'm not really a prince, no matter how it might seem, but I already have an iinazuke...!"

"Who care about you? You no Lychee prince!"

"Oh, well, that's different ...wait, WHAT? You mean, you really, really ain't after me? Oh, thank the kami!"

"What wrong with Lychee? You think Lychee no make good wife?"

"It's not you, it's just, I got too many iinazuke already! I'm sure you will make a wonderful bride..."

Lychee paused, looking Ranma over, with a look that made him feel like a piece of meat. "If prince no come, maybe you find out how good wife Lychee be..."

Ranma's face contorted in shock, staring off into the distance and slapping his face.

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Nabiki had hurried home after school, leaving her underlings to handle most of their affairs for the rest of the day, there was something she needed to check on ...personally. She was a little winded from running, something she almost never did if she had any say in the matter, but was glad she had been able to catch her sister before she had left for her afternoon errands. Apparently, it was the right choice, as Kasumi already had her shopping bag in hand. "Onee-chan, I saw something rather interesting this morning, would you like to hear about it?"

Kasumi gave her sister a disappointed look. "Nabiki, you know it is not polite to gossip."

"Is it 'gossip' if it involves you ...and a certain pig-tailed martial artist...?" Her sister's only response was to hesitate for the briefest of moments before nodding. "Though, I am not so much here for the gossip, it's more like I am missing a piece of the puzzle. You seem to have had quite an effect on Ranma-kun, I've never seen anyone get so mad about name-calling, especially Ranma-kun."

"Oh my, whatever could they have said, was it about being 'manly'?"

"Nope, that's where you are wrong, Ranma-kun was not the one insulted ...you were. Kuno-kun's younger sister claimed that you were a woman of ill repute."

"Oh my, that was not very nice, but why would Ranma-kun get so upset?"

"That's what I would like to know... What happened yesterday afternoon?"

The look she was getting from her younger sister, combined with the butterflies that were now fluttering in her stomach, made Kasumi nervous, she had not been that uncomfortable since her father had demanded answers on the day Shampoo had had first visited their home. "Oh my, nothing, I mean, I don't know all of the answers... I was shopping, or trying to shop, when Ranma-kun and some friends were running by, and it seems I got caught up in it and, well, I would have been trampled, but Ranma-kun saved me or something, yeah, something like that, I think!" Kasumi blushed as her hands excitedly moved up and down.

"You 'think'?" Nabiki eyed her older sister, looking her over, she had not been able to get anything out of Ranma so far that day, and had hoped this would have been easier. "Are you sure there isn't anything else that happened? Something after that?"

"Ranma-kun helped me do the shopping, and cooking, as you know, what else could there be?"

"I wouldn't know, that's why I'm asking you, O-ne-e-chan." Nabiki was about to start twisting the screws to get answers when they heard a loud trumpeting outside!

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Walking up to the gate, Ranma turned to look at the young Chinese woman and her ...pet? "Hummm, you might have-ta duck." Ranma opened both gate doors, giving the elephant as much room as possible.

Lychee patted her companion on the head. "Come on, Jasmine, it just like back home." The pachyderm did her best to fit through the gate, only rubbing her back on the top as she went under. Rubbing behind the elephant's ear, Lychee spoke softly. "Good girl, Jasmine, very good." Happy to be praised, she let out a triumphant trumpet.

"Wait here a sec, let me see if anyone's here first." Ranma turned to the house, just as Kasumi opened the door, with Nabiki right behind her.

"What is THAT?"

"Oh my, it's SO cute!"

"I thought yer th' 'smart' one, it's an elephant, a' course." Ranma gave Nabiki a cocky smile, and instantly regretted it as he realized what it might cost him in the future.

"I know THAT! What's it doing here?"

Ranma indicated Lychee with a nod. "That one's bodyguard, so you might want to think twice about your usual tricks."

"You wound me, Ranma-kun. I am sure I have NO idea what you are talking about. I never do ...tricks."

Ranma's voice dropped to a whisper as she neared the middle Tendo. "Look, I am trying ta help ya here, ya know I don't like ta hit th' weak, an' ya'd just charge me fer it anyway, but I don't think the elephant has any such problems, an' I saw it take out half a' th' town's finest yesterday..." Ranma trailed off as he heard a familiar rustle, and looked around, almost relieved when he sensed who the target was not, causing him to hesitate for a brief moment.

"SWEET-OOOH!" Happosai was all over the newcomer in an instant, by the end of the second instant, Jasmine had sucked the old man into the grip of her trunk, and slammed him into the ground before using her immense body mass, combined with the power of her ki, to body-slam the ancient pervert into the walkway, crushing him flat. He was then tied up by chains and ropes offered up by the two Tendo girls as Ranma gagged and blindfolded the old man, and clanking the lock shut.

The recently molested young woman turned her justifiable outrage toward the now incapacitated pervert. "We find you now, Happosai! Lychee been looking for you!"

"Yer lookin' fer th' old man? Why didn't ya say so?" Anyone who wanted to beat-up the founder of their school, certainly went up in Ranma's estimation. That did not mean he liked anyone who would help pulverize the panty thief, but he certainly would not stop them.

"You pay for what you do to me!" Lychee started throwing rocks at Happosai, each rock progressively larger than the last.

"Yeah, that bastard has done that to all of us, even Ranma-kun... Not that I want you to stop! Please, continue." Nabiki waved her on with a smile.

"Not that! That is new crime, this old one."

"You've got that right, sister, they don't get much older."

"Happosai, because of you, Lychee, Lychee, Lychee... Give Lychee back precious youth!"

"PRECIOUS?!" Everyone gasped, he was a well-known molester, but none of them ever thought he would take anything THAT far, he took underwear, not virginities, and he had always seemed nice to children before...

Ranma was unable to resist hitting Happosai again, even though he was still unconscious and would probably not feel it anyway. "I can't believe even th' old freak would sink THAT low, Kuno maybe, but doing that ta a kid's just unforgivable!" Ranma's battle aura was quickly building up, as he, along with some of the others, got ready to start dispensing their righteous justice! Even Kasumi looked at him with a disapproving glare.

"Spend whole life, chasing dream of promised prince, face many hardships, all because of scroll you leave!"

Ranma hesitated, but decided to follow though and complete his attack anyway. "Wait, ...what? This is because a' th'scroll, not-?" Ranma froze, he was starting to get a bad feeling...

"Oh my, do you mean this scroll?" Kasumi had pulled the half-scroll, with a red tassel and the kanji for 'good-fortune', out of her bag, showing it to their guest.

Lychee stared in shock and happiness! "That scroll of luck! It been passed down in family for many generation! Been looking all over!" Lychee's mood darkened slightly as her eyes slowly went from the severed scroll to Kasumi's calmly curious face. "...how you get?"

Before Kasumi could respond, the skies darkened, and lightning struck in several successive places, giving them all a strong sense of foreboding.

A piercing squeal cut through the stormy sounds and drew all attention toward the front gate. "IIIIIIIIYAAAAAA! Where is that baaaaad kid, Ranma Saotome? Skipping my class will get you in BIIIIIG trouble, young man! Teehee!"

"Oh great, Hinako-sensei! Like this day ain't already complicated enough... Maybe I can escape before..." Ranma slapped his forehead as he noticed Kasumi opening the gate, letting their diminutive instructor inside before he could make good on his escape. The sweet smile on Kasumi's face prevented him from being mad at her though, and he mentally kicked himself for not being fast enough. Some days it did not pay to be Ranma Saotome, and he had the feeling today was one of those days. He knew running at this point would just get him drained, and while he could stand up to that better than most people, he would only put others in danger if he tried to escape. Hinako rarely seemed to care who got caught in her cross-fire and he did not think he would be able to get far enough away from those he did not want to see hurt, unlike his father, who he would happily use as a shield, so he just hung his head in resignation, waiting for the inevitable.

"Akane-chan, your little friend is back?" Soun walked over, patting the young seeming teacher on the head, distracting her from her intended goal. "Your friends are always welcome here." Soun turned back toward the shrunken sensei. "It is good to see you again." The tall man could not help but to smile as he saw the bright-eyed joy in the adoring face looking up at him.

Seeing the look her homeroom teacher was giving her father, Akane wanted to prevent any further progress. In her opinion, Hinako had simply been using any excuse to visit them, and as usual, she blamed Ranma for giving her far too many opportunities to do just that! So it was, that with a scowl upon her face, Akane picked up her teacher by her collar to plop her down in front of her iinazuke. "That's where you're wrong dad, Hinako-chan isn't here for me, but for RANMA instead!"

Soun was taken aback by the tone in his youngest daughter's voice, and he knew better than to push the issue, so he did his best to shrink back into nothingness, hoping to pull Genma into a game of shogi.

Hinako turned back to face Akane, pouting with her large sad eyes looking as if she were about to start crying. "Ranma, you baka, take care of your guest!" Akane picked up her 'pet pig', and stormed back into the house, slamming the door.

Ranma was eyeing their teacher, hoping to have been forgotten, even knowing his luck did not work that way, he had been trying to back away. "But, hey, what's that?" He had pointed behind her, using a desperate distraction technique, but he had been just as shocked as the rest of them by what he saw in the sky, and was unable to flee, once again.

"I never knew you were so cunning Saotome-kun, but you can't trick me ...no matter how devious your ploy is!"

"Oh my!"

"What IS that?"

"Live long enough, and you see everything..."

"Hey, I asking question here-" Lychee saw what the others had, and gasped as she joined them in staring at the large wooden boat, flying over the house, along with dark storm clouds, blocking out the sun. Ranma was just grateful that the clouds were not drenching him in cold water, but he awaited what he felt certain was inevitable.

"You are helping that delinquent too? Fine then!" Hinako started to fumble for a coin...

Somehow, Ranma had known that returning this girl's scroll would not be that easy, nothing in his life was ever 'that easy', and whenever it seemed like it WOULD be simple, that was when he knew he was REALLY in for it! Ranma only saw a few options in the split second he had to react, running wasn't really an option though, so he moved to the next one, he could try pushing the Chinese girl out of the way, but that came with the risk of Hinako hitting someone else, like the non-combatants behind them, while also possibly angering her elephant again, and he did not want to feel the brunt of one of her attacks again any time soon, so he lunged forward, wrapping his arms around the child, blocking her view, and pressing her pressure points, temporarily blocking her attack. He may not be able to pull that off for thirty days in a row, but every now and again, the risk of being called a pervert was better than the alternative. At least Akane wasn't there to see it, and hopefully she would not be willing to pay Nabiki for the pictures surely being taken.

Luckily for him, everyone else was far to busy watching the flying ship to notice as Hinako went limp in his arms. Her whole body felt weak, drained, and she wanted a nap, but she was sure there was something she needed to do first. That thought was lost as something fell out of the sky, and bounced off of her skull, knocking the 'young' woman out cold.

Not sure what to do with his unconscious instructor, Ranma returned his focus to the people on the flying ship. There were a number of strange people on board the air-born boat, and one of them, in particular, seemed to be their leader. He was certainly wearing the fanciest clothing, and that was usually a good sign.

"Oahahahahahaha!" Lightning cracked, as the apparent leader held his chopsticks high into the air.

"Just what th' heck are ya supposed ta be, anyway?"

"Behold, I am the master of the unbeatable martial arts school: Seven Lucky Gods Martial Arts! I am ...Kirin!"

Ranma's attention instantly perked up. 'Unbeatable martial art? Oh now THIS I have GOT ta see! There ain't no such thing, or my name ain't Ranma Saotome! Oh wait, were they saying something?'

The capricious young Chinese woman's good humor returned as she cheered, almost bouncing in anticipation. "My prince, my prince comes!"

"I have finally found you, the one foretold in the prophecy! The woman chosen by the Seven Lucky Gods! Come!"

Lychee blushed as she stepped forward, clasping her hands, and gazing up adoringly at the handsome man on the flying ship, her arms spreading wide as she ran toward it shouting, "Ouji-sama! Ouji-sama! Ouji-sama!"

"Who are you?"

"Eh?" Lychee's mood darkened to match the weather.

"I have no use for you, you do not possess the scroll."

Shocked, Lychee could not believe what she was hearing. Her whole life, the lives of the past several generations of her family, had all led her to this moment. All of her dreams, her desires, shattered in an instant!

Always wanting to be helpful, Kasumi stepped forward. "Oh my, excuse me. Do you by chance mean this scroll? It belongs to this girl here..."

"Ebiten!"

"Ha! Use a shrimp to catch the finest fish!" Ebiten was a short man, almost as short as Happosai, but he wielded a fishing pole easily taller than most men, and as it spun around, a glowing line shot forth, wrapping around Kasumi, and lifting her into the sky with a start.

"Aaaaaarrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"KASUMI-SAN!" Ranma quickly looked around, and saw almost no one left in their yard, Nabiki was one of the few people left, and he tried to hand Hinako off too her.

"I'm not taking that! Just set it on the ground! Besides, that bump is your fault, not mine!"

"Not even fer Kasumi-san? Fine!" Ranma leapt from the nearest tree, to the roof, to rebound enough to reach the flying ship, holding Hinako in his left arm. "Ya baka! Give back KASUMI-SAN!"

"Why you take Lychee prince? You have man! You take Lychee prince, Lychee take you man! Just you wait and see!"

"Ranma, you ...JERK!" A dumbbell flew out of the upper story window, as Ranma used it as a stepping-stone, to bounce off of it, and reach the boat. "Honestly, I am not sure why I threw that, but I am sure it was deserved anyway! Isn't that right, P-Chan?" The piglet vigorously nodded as he sat on her lap.

"But, I don't, I'm not, I don't... oh my! How did I get mixed up in this, shouldn't Akane be here instead of me? I need to get started on dinner. It looks like we are going to have a lot of guests, and I have no idea what to feed an elephant, we don't have that many peanuts..."

"So, 'unbeatable martial art style', ain't th' first time I've heard that, but so far, ain't none lived up ta th' hype. Here, Kasumi-nee, look after Hinako-sensei fer a moment, I'll take ya home as soon as I beat this guy."

Ranma smiled at Kasumi, and it made her feel warm inside. She just knew Ranma would fix this, he always fixed these types of messes, if only they did not need to be so violent. She was a little scared, but she had to admit, this was strangely exhilarating, she had never been in the middle of the action before, and now this was the second time in as many days, it was making her feel rather ...strange. It almost felt like she was a character in one of her romance novels, and without realizing it, she was tensing up as she watched the exchange, as if she were far more personally involved this time. She supposed that being the one being kidnapped might be altering her perspective on the situation, but it still felt strange to her.

"To presume that you may step aboard the ship of Kirin uninvited, is to infer much indeed." The others tensed, but the prince waved them off. "You wish to see the unbeatable style, then Kirin will teach you this lesson, in pain. Seven Lucky Gods School Secret Attack: Hundred Chopstick Sting!"

Kirin and Ranma both started to smile as their hands blurred into action. After only a moment, it was clear even to her that Ranma seemed outmatched, and had been thrown backward, over the side of the boat! "RANMA-KUN!"

Ebiten yelled over the side, taunting Ranma as he fell. "As if a mere commoner could hope to match the level of Lord Kirin! Oh, and don't forget your little sister!" The largest of the prince's followers threw Hinako's sleeping form after Ranma's hurtling form.

"Good, now the two halves of the scroll can be reunited, and the ultimate technique will once again be ours!"

'Sister? Who's sister, what's this feeling, like I am falling?' Hinako opened her eyes and saw that she was, in fact, falling, very fast, and it was very far! "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

'Ultimate technique? I have GOT to get my hands on that scroll!' Ranma noticed the now awake child-like form of Hinako flailing as she fell, and knew she would never land safely. "Kuso!" Altering his trajectory, and once again, bouncing off of a tree, Ranma caught Hinako, landing softly after rebounding a couple more times to cushion their impact. "Ya okay?"

"AGAIN! Let's do it again!"

"Just fine then..." Ranma tried to put Hinako down, but the 'child' would not let him go. Her arms were wrapped around Ranma's neck, and she remained hanging there. "Uuuuummmm... Do ya want ta get down now?"

"No."

"Will ya anyway?"

"No."

"..."

"Hold me!"

Ranma's shoulders slumped, but he was tired of arguing, they needed to figure out a way to go after that ship! The noise had finally drawn the others back out of the house, and they were each taking in the sight in their own unique ways.

"Ranma, you pervert! What are you doing?"

"How dare you do that to Akane-san!"

"When did you manage to change back, P-chan?"

"Who are you calling 'P-Chan'?"

"That should be obvious ta anyone, bacon-breath."

"What's going on here? What happened? Where is Kasumi?"

Hinako jumped down, and ran over to Soun, almost pushing him down. "Mustache-man! Are you my daddy? You feel like a 'daddy' should."

Soun's jaw dropped as he blushed, fumbling for something to say... "Um, no, you are my daughter's friend, yes, that is it. AKANE-CHAN!"

Hinako's face drooped at first, but perked up as his words sunk into her awareness, and it sounded like a very nice thing! She hoped her friend was nice, and they could go play and have treats together! The look on the new girl's face made her feel apprehensive though... "Are you my friend?"

"No! In fact, today you came over to see your very special 'onii-chan'." Plopping her down in front of Ranma, Akane looked sternly at the 'child'. "Here you go, this guy will take extra special care of you for as long as you want! Especially if what you want, is to leave here..."

Her large eyes lit up. "Really? Where are we going, onii-chan?"

"Hinako-sensei, why're ya acting so weird?"

"Sensei? Are we playing school, onii-chan? I don't want to go to school, let's go play!"

Ranma was starting to wonder what his teacher was planning, when something else caught his attention.

"My prince!" Ranma saw that Lychee was being lifted back atop her elephant as she gazed in the direction of the boat with a grim determination upon her face.

"Wait! Ya know where they're goin'?"

Lychee nodded. "Lychee know. They Seven Lucky God. Lychee lose scroll, life over. Family no take back, must get back or die trying. Come Jasmine."

"WAIT!" Ranma moved to get in front of the elephant, holding his arms out wide, Hinako once again hanging from his neck. "Please, ya got ta let me come with ya, let me help ya. Kasumi was kidnapped, an' I got ta save-"

"Yes, because you help so much so far..."

Her sarcastic tone stung. "Hey, now that's not fair, I-"

Soun's head grew to demonic proportions, as his voice boomed! "WHAT! KASUMI WAS KIDNAPPED?"

"How could you let onee-chan get kidnapped? This is all your fault!"

"What kind of a man lets that happen?"

"I didn't see you helping, Pork-Butt."

"Yes, Ranma my boy, you must go save Kasumi-chan, who else will cook for us if you don't?"

"Is that all ya care about?" Ranma was offended that any father, aside from his own, could talk so heartlessly about their own daughter.

"Well, there is also the cleaning..."

"Well, then ya can stay here, I'm sure Akane'd be happy ta cook fer ya..."

"Sure! ...Wait ...HEY!"

"But, Lychee, there's no way ya can take on all those guys with just the two a' ya, an' we want ta help. Besides, if this's th' old man's fault, then that's just one more reason we should be helping ya."

Lychee stared long and hard at Ranma, looking deeply into his eyes, before looking him all over again. "Okay, you can come, but need hurry, Lychee boat not close!" Ranma grabbed their packs, and quickly crammed everything he could think of into them, hitting his father in the stomach with one of them. Lychee mumbled under her breath, "Have promise to keep boyfriend if no get back scroll anyway... Girl be sorry, steal Lychee prince..."

Once he was ready to go, Ranma tried again to dislodge Hinako from his neck, with no luck. "Hinako ...um, -chan...?"

"Hai, Onii-chan?"

"Ya should really stay here, where it's safe."

"But, how can you take care of me, if you leave? You said we were gonna go play together!"

"But, it's safer..."

"...but, I wanna stay wiff ...ONII-CHAN! Is safer wiff Onii-chan!"

Ranma knew he had no recourse when any female resorted to tears, and he hung his head in resignation. "Fine."

*Sniff* "Onii-chan?" Ranma looked at her, and raised an eyebrow as she motioned for him to get closer, before whispering into his ear. "Pweeese?"

"Fine..." Ranma picked her up, placing her on his shoulders as they left for the docks once Ranma had dodged a mallet or two.

"Aw, come on Akane, can't ya at least wait until after we save yer sister before ya try an' kill me?"

"HA! As if we need YOU to do that! We can save Kasumi-nee just fine, without your help!" To prove her point, Akane took another swing, striking the ground right where Ranma had been a moment before.

Riding on Ranma's shoulders, Hinako was rather grateful that Ranma was making an extra effort to dodge the attacks, for some reason she felt that seemed odd, but she couldn't place why, but she enjoyed squealing in Ranma's ear whenever it got close. It was shaping up to be a very long trip...

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"...and so you girl now?"

Ranma ignored Hinako chanting 'Onii-chan is Onee-chan. Onee-chan is onii-chan.', and turned back to Lychee. "Well, half th' time, anyway. Ya gonna make fun a' me too?"

"Why? You first person to listen how Scroll of Luck bring Lychee nothing but hardship up to now, you nicest person Lychee meet on whole trip! Could be worse, at least you is cute!"

"In some ways, that's the worst part..." Ranma shivered as an icy chill ran down his spine with visions of perverted men groping him flashing through his mind, before he could shake his head to clear them. He tried to focus on the attacks used by 'that prince guy', but he had not seen much of it and he was having a hard time analyzing the technique. "So, if that guy's th' prince yer looking fer, then ya must know something about them, like where they're goin'?"

"As tell before, Seven Lucky God, fabled martial artist from small place, deep inside China, Nekonron."

"But what about this ultimate technique they were talking about? If it's worse than th' one I was hit with, we need ta stop 'em before it's too late!"

"Lychee no is-"

"You are right ta be worried, my boy..."

"Where did ya come from, old man? I thought we left ya behind ...with Nabiki!"

Happosai felt a shiver run down his spine. There was no way he was going to stay there ...with her, especially with so many lovely ladies were going to save the sweet Kasumi. Without her, there would be no one to make his tea the way he likes it! The horror! "I knew that had to simply be an oversight on your part, so I packed myself in your bag. However, you were asking about the ultimate technique to rule the world..."

"It's not like ya'd tell us th' truth even if ya did know anything."

"You wound me Ranma..."

"If we weren't on a boat..."

"DO YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT OR NOT?"

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Kasumi was uncomfortable enough having others cook for her, but to have the twins sitting on a spinning platform, handing her pickles as they rotated around, was just too much for her to believe. She had heard of people having servants, she had even met the Kuno's little manservant Sasuke, but knowing something intellectually, and seeing it in person, were two totally different things, and her discomfort was growing by the moment. She needed something to do, and eating pickles was not accomplishing that for her.

Prince Kirin finished another pickled turnip as he calmly watched his potential spouse. "Will you agree to abide by our laws and stay with me, as my bride?"

"Oh my, oh my, oh my, I am flattered, truly, but I must take care of my family, one of whom you beat up, which was not a very nice thing to do."

Prince Kirin felt sudden remorse for his actions, something he had never before felt in his life! He ignored it soon after. "I see you have not eaten much, are the pickles not to your liking?"

"Oh no, they are quite good, for pickles..." Kasumi did not want to be rude, she looked around the room and tried to think of the most polite way to tell the man she was tired of pickles already. "I was trying to save room for ...the next course." She was dearly hoping to see someone bring in 'anything' else.

"The what? Oh, certainly, Daikokusei, Daihakusei!"

The twins spoke in unison. "At once, your majesty!" They began to spin a bit faster, placing more pickles on Kasumi's bowl of rice.

Kasumi's frown was only mildly perceptible, but notice the prince did. "Ebiten, did I misread the context?"

Popping through a smaller door within a door, the miniature manservant bowed. "No sire, in this case, 'course' is referring to the next serving of food at a meal."

"Then would you like something else?" Kasumi's smile got a bit less frowny, before the prince continued. "What kind of pickled vegetables would you like, pickled cucumbers, pickled beets, pickled cabbage...?"

Kasumi raised her hand politely. "No, thank you, you are too kind, it is just that with all of the excitement, I seem to have lost my appetite. Maybe I will feel better by morning." Kasumi stated to look forward to some fish and miso soup, and almost started to drool.

"We cannot have that, someone fetch a digestive!"

"No, please, it is fine, I will just wait for breakfast..."

"Certainly, what would you like us to prepare, pickled greens, pickled onions, pickled scallions...?"

It took every bit of restraint Kasumi had to prevent her shoulder slump from becoming a full facefault as she resigned herself to disappointment. "I am sure we will think of something."

Most of her life, Kasumi had asked for one set of criteria in a potential husband, 'older and more mature', and now that she had received exactly that, she was starting to realize she had not been specific enough. Everything, other than the food, was relatively 'perfect', yet all of it felt wrong to her somehow, and she could not understand why that was the case. Had she changed? She still dreamed of a prince on a white horse, a knight in shining armor, a handsome hero coming to save her from her daily life, so why did this not feel right? Surely she could not be so shallow as to begrudge a man for not literally riding a horse or wearing armor in this day and age, there must be some other problem, if only she could place her finger on it...

"Mon-Lon!" The bard and courtesan was almost instantly by her young sovereign's side. "Take care of-" He hesitated briefly before turning back to his 'dinner guest'. "What was your name again?"

Still lost in thought, the nervous young woman slightly stumbled over her words. "Oh, I am um, Kasumi, Kasumi Tendo."

"Ah yes, that was it, Kasumi-Kasumi Tendo! Please, take very good care of Kasumi-Kasumi Tendo for Kirin, we should be arriving in less than a day."

"Yes, at once, Lord Kirin!"

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Kasumi followed Mon-Lon to the small, yet elegant room, and as they entered the room, she tried to make small talk. "That is all you have served for two days. Is that really all you people eat, rice and pickled vegetables?"

"What is wrong with that?"

"Oh, nothing I suppose, there have been times that we have had to live on less... That does explain why you must kidnap brides though... I am sorry for your financial troubles." Kasumi bowed to her captor.

Mon-Lon was not sure how to respond to that, so she just returned the bow. "Is there anything else with which I can assist you, mistress Kasumi?"

"Oh my, no, unless you would like to play something. I just want to do a bit of straightening up before I go to sleep."

"Of course, my lady." The bard began to play a soothing melody as the eldest Tendo daughter tidied 'her room'.

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Being in a different time zone, Kasumi had awoken even earlier than usual. She spared a glance at her chaperone and tucked her in before preparing to start her day.

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The small oil lamp flickered in the darkness, and Mon-Lon rubbed her eyes, straining to see and untangle herself from a blanket she did not remember using. It was still some time before the early rays of the sun would break through the night, and she started to relax and return to sleep as she looked to the only bed in the room to see it was ...empty!

She had considered how inviting it looked for a moment before something clicked in her mind, that bed should NOT have been empty! She jumped up, almost spilling the steaming cup of tea on the table beside her, and ran for the door, having to stop to fumble once she realized that it was still locked from the night before!

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Jasmine's large ears were the first to hear the alarms going off, and as the spotlights lit up the early morning sky, she sounded her own 'alarm', 'rudely' waking the rest of the passengers of the modest sized junk.

"Hey, quit rockin' th' boat!"

"Jasmine, what wrong? AH, look!"

Looking up, everyone saw the dirigible lighting up the sky. "There it is!" Looking around, Ranma shouted again. "I think I got a plan, but we need ta get as close ta it as we can!" They all manned the ores, rowing for all they were worth, trying to get underneath their target.

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"What's going on?"

"The prince's bride has escaped! Search everywhere!"

"Didn't Mon-Lon say the door was locked, how could anyone get out of there?"

"No idea, but who cleaned up in here? I didn't even know this room HAD a floor!"

"You know, searching would be a lot easier if we could hear over this alarm! An elephant could be stealthy in all of this racket!"

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Jasmine had to pause in her rowing to sneeze, since she had been holding the oar with her trunk.

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"The lord's bride, over here!"

"My lady, what are you doing?"

"Oh, Mon-Lon-san, perfect timing! Would you two be dears and help me carry this?"

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"Lord Kirin, we have found your bride."

"That is very good news! Tell me, Bishamonten, what it is that you have there?"

"Um, that is, we..." The large man looked embarrassed as he carried the large tray of food, placing it on the table before his lord and master.

"It is breakfast, of course." Kasumi pulled back the cloths that were covering the serving trays they had helped her carry. They all stared in shock at what they saw. Before them were dozens of plates of food, with a larger variety than any of them had seen in their lives, most of which none of them had ever even considered 'food'. "After discussing your dietary habits with your friend, I took a few things in mind with my seasonings, you should have no problems enjoying this well balanced breakfast. It is the most important meal of the day after all." Kasumi's bright smile warmed the room, and set most of their minds at ease...

Thankfully, no one thought to consider where anyone could find the materials needed to make something here that was not rice or pickled vegetables, and they just stared at the uniqueness of it all.

The large eared gnome, jumped up to make the loudest noise to defend their dietary habits. "Our metabolism can only handle rice and pickled vegetables!"

"Are you sure? That is not a very healthy diet, it cannot be good for you."

"How would you know?"

Kasumi just gave the offended little man a look, just as a knowing mother would give a child who doesn't want to clean their plate. "You most of all I would think would be interested, why would you use that fishing pole, if not to catch fish for breakfast?" Kasumi's hands covered her mouth! "Oh my, don't tell me, you catch fish only for sport? How awful!"

"Who would want to catch a FISH? I use this to fight, and help master Kirin!"

"Ebiten! Stand down, I an curious."

"But sire!"

"It is fine." Kirin looked over the multitude of dishes laid out before him. While there were many items he could not even identify, all of it was presented so beautifully that it was difficult to choose what to try first. It looked more like art than food, almost too beautiful to consume. A bead of sweat rolled down his cheek as was clearly agonizing over the decision.

He saw that one of the sushi rolls was mostly made of things he could identify, such as rice and seaweed, so he chose that first. The flavors that exploded in his mouth surprised him, a mixture of the familiar and exotic that blended into a celebration in his mouth. He almost forgot to swallow, and had to force himself, for fear of choking. He sampled several dishes, each one taking his tastebuds on their own individual adventure. To think that this experience had always been there, waiting on him, he was beside himself.

Kirin sampled several dishes, taking the time to savor each delectable bite. Unfortunately for him, he did not get far beyond tasting before the euphoria overcame his senses, and he lost consciousness. The other six members jumped into action. "How dare you do that to master Kirin!"

"Oh my...! Are you all right?"

As most of the crew grabbed their prince to rush him off to recover, Mon-Lon was again left to watch Kasumi.

"This time, try not to let the bride escape!"

"Maybe if we took shifts! Even I can't stay awake forever!"

"No one else is to be trusted with the bride of Kirin! I do not even trust me in that situation!"

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Well, I had intended this to be a one shot, but it seems to have grown too large for that, so here is Chapter One. This is not how I wanted to do this, but without my editor, I am extremely limited. Sorry about that...


	2. Chapter 2

As usual, no thing here is owned by me, etc.

So, without further adieu, here's chapter two.

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"You think it's a good idea to bring the kid?"

"What, ya think it's better ta leave Hinako-chan here, alone?"

"Point taken."

"Thank you, onii-chan!" The 'child' squealed and climbed onto Ranma's back, hugging him as they handed their 'anchor' to Jasmine.

The elephant took the bound Happosai and started swinging, building up as much momentum as she was able before letting him fly! Already upset about being manhandled, Happosai slammed into the side of the air-ship, cursing 'the ingrates' as he did. "How dare they do this to their master!" Then a thought of the eldest Tendo daughter, dressed in a skimpy dress, with silks thin enough for an 'Aladdin' style harem, filled his mind, spurring him on to greater heights! "KASUMI-CHAN!" The perverted old man dug his fingers into the hardened wood, and fueled by his depraved imagination, scaled the side of the boat.

Hoping to see the young woman being forced to belly dance on the deck of the ship, he put all of his effort into climbing over the top of the railing. The old man could think of no other reason there would be so many lights this late at night. However, much to his dismay, he found the deck quite empty, and was rather disappointed until he heard the sound of a woman's sweet sigh! It was not the voice he had been hoping to hear, but it was melodic, and it called to his very soul. He was finding it more difficult to move than he anticipated, what with the unexpected weight of the others added to the trailing rope, but he was not going to allow that to prevent him from reaching the siren's voice.

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"You are sure that Prince Kirin is just sleeping...?"

"...and there is nothing else wrong?"

An unintelligible, yet positive sound was heard.

"Oh good."

The twin brothers let out a sigh of relief. "We should probably have a doctor check anyway..."

"...once we get back."

Five of the seven lucky gods, led by the large mountain of a man, Mu, paused as they ran face to face into the wouldbe rescue team, who were led by Happosai, the smaller man bouncing back like a ping-pong ball, still tied to his rope.

"Intruders! Get them!"

The grand melee began, various people taking turns, and switching partners until everyone settled on their opponent. Ryoga threw a few blows, taking a few as well, though he barely noticed at first, unfortunately he kept getting turned around, and was still looking for an appropriate target, when he saw Akane trying to help with one of the twins. His new target acquired, Ryoga started to charge into the fray.

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Hinako remembered her onii-chan saying the scroll had a super secret special move on it, and it was important to get it back! Everyone else was busy, and it had to be in this ship somewhere, so she ran off to look for it! Whenever someone was making fun of her, or trying to leave her behind, there was onii-chan to save her, and she wanted to help him too! Everyone else was helping, so why shouldn't she? "I'm helping, I'm helping! Helping onii-chan! Hinako-chan is helping, helping all day long!"

Hinako skipped down the hallway, singing as she looked into every room she passed.

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Ranma looked up and did not see Hinako, though quickly looking around, he thought he saw her hair flipping out from around a corner. Most of them were all engaged in battles, and many of them were barely holding their own, the only person not in a one on one fight was Ryoga who he did not trust to find the youthful-seeming instructor. "Shimatta!"

"This effrontery will not continue! Bishamonten will teach you to focus in battle!" The large bearded man lowered his trident, charging at the young martial artist, who casually slipped around the long weapon, redirecting his momentum into the lost boy's path.

"Tonkatsu, take care of this for me fer a moment, would you? I got ta do something real fast!"

Ryoga scowled at being called a 'pork cutlet' as Ranma ran after his absent-minded professor, but did not have time to worry about it as the physically larger man blocked his path. The monster was standing between himself and helping Akane, and Ryoga was determined to not to leave things that way for long, but he swore that once this was over, Ranma would pay! Unfortunately for him, the bearded man was not the only one around.

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Mon-Lon and Kasumi had not made it back to her 'guest-room' room before they heard the sounds of a scuffle on the decks above. The two young women looked at each other, concern for different people written clearly on their faces, and they both took off running toward the growing racket.

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Crawling around a dark room, Hinako found many large vats, each covered with a lid. They were all over the room, and many times larger than she was. She gathered a few smaller items from books, to buckets, and anything else she could carry, and climbed up to the first vat, lifting the lid. She was so shocked by the strong vinegar smell that upon hearing a noise behind her, she stumbled and fell inside. Her feet were caught, keeping her from sinking to the bottom, but also keeping her from being able to right herself. The pickle juice in her ears prevented her from hearing the shouting now filling the room.

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"Hinako-chan!" Ranma glanced in the room, just in time to see the alleged child fall in the vat and the lid close on her shoes. With one mad dash, he was able to pull her free before she had the opportunity to suffocate, thankful that he did not need to perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation! Ranma returned her appreciative embrace, not particularly caring that he now smelled like pickles.

"Onii-chan saved Hinako-chan again! Best onii-chan ever!"

"It's nuthin, just promise me you won't run away again. I need you to stay with me, or I can't keep you safe. Okay?"

"...Okay, onii-chan, I promise! But, what about the scroll...?"

Seeing the look on her face, Ranma's bravado took over, trying to be reassuring. "Don't worry, if it's dangerous, we'll get that scroll, after we save Kasumi-nee-san, and defeat that Prince Kirin jerk! Okay?"

Jumping onto Ranma's back, Hinako cheered! "OKAY! Onii-chan to the rescue!"

They both cheered, "Okay!" as Ranma ran back toward the deck where he had last seen his friends and family.

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The pair made it to the deck just after Mon-Lon and Kasumi, and while thankful to see Kasumi safe and sound, he was not happy to see the state of the rest of his alleged 'team'. He silently wished he had been able to gather more of his 'friends' for this trip. "Do you see that? This is why we can't run away. Okay?"

The 'young' Hinako nodded, feeling a bit guilty about her actions as she saw their friends piled up, tangled in the rope that was tied to the silly 'Jii-chan. She might have cried if not for her onii-chan's mood improving.

"Kasumi-san! You're okay!"

"Ranma-kun, everyone, why are you here?" Her emotions were quite torn, she was surprised that everyone had joined them, not happy to see that they had mostly been beaten up in the process, though she was relieved that they seemed to be recovering.

The need to facefault, was only overridden by Ranma's desire to keep the 'child' on his shoulders safe. "Well, we all got our reasons, but, ya know..."

Kirin was the last to join them on deck, and while he was still a bit groggy, he was pleased to see that his own people were doing well, and that his 'bride' remained unharmed. The fact that she was talking to that 'uncultured plebeian' did not improve his mood though. He was about to confront the scoundrel, when he had been interrupted by another vaguely familiar young woman.

"My prince! My Prince!"

"Yes, do you have business with Kirin?"

The young Chinese girl was on the verge of tears, desperately pleading her case. "Lychee is original bearer of scroll! Lychee is one to be bride!"

"Kirin does not know you. Kasumi-Kasumi Tendo is the one fated to be the bride of Kirin."

This was the last push, the poor teen's heart could take no more, and she broke down into tears, sobbing on the deck of the ship.

"How dare ya make a girl cry! Guys like ya 're th' worst!" Ranma teemed with rage.

"Baka! Like you have any room to talk!"

"That's different! At least I'm tryin'!"

"Yes, you certainly are!"

"Do ya got ta ruin every dramatic moment?"

"When it's with some other girl, yes! Besides, it wouldn't have made sense if I'd waited! You need to learn 'context'!"

"NOW look whose talking!"

"Are you two quite done? We have a wedding to prepare and some sharks to feed."

"WAIT!" Ranma's ki infused shout caused everyone to freeze for a moment as he turned to face Kasumi, surprising even himself. "Kasumi-san, if yer happy, an' want ta stay with these guys, then we'll leave, an' pray fer yer happiness, but if ya want ta come home, then tell me now, an' I won't stop until yer safe with us! What do ya REALLY want?"

"I really want you to not get hurt on my account!"

"THAT ...doesn't matter! All that matters is that yer safe an' happy, an' it's MY job ta get ya back, no matter what it takes ...that is if ya want ta come back, I mean."

"But, how can I be happy, if you get hurt for me?"

"I told ya, that don't matter, don't worry about it. Just answer me this one question, 'Do ya WANT ta come home?'"

"Oh Ranma-kun ...I do!"

Ranma smiled and cracked his knuckles as he shifted his gaze from Kasumi to Kirin and took up a fighting stance. "Ya heard th' woman, let Kasumi-san go, or prepare yerself fer battle."

"Touching moment, but do you really think you have a chance to take the bride of Kirin by force? You certainly did not give us a very good showing at our previous meeting." The nobleman calmly walked forward, his cape flowing in the wind. "Fine then, if you wish to be shown up by your betters again, so be it."

"You remind me of someone I know back home, that guy is a real jerk too!" Ranma cracked his neck as he prepared to block the attack he expected to come at any moment.

"On second thought, fighting a weakling is bad enough, but to fight a commoner as well, that would just spoil my fine mood this evening." Turning away, his cape flapped in the wind. "Drop the interlopers into the sea!"

"Why you, I'll show you who's a weakling..."

"No need, you already have." Kirin turned away as the front half of the vessel started to rotate, causing Ranma to slip, while the rest of their family started to slide toward the edge of the deck and over the side. Ranma knew that as a potential bride, Kasumi was in no immediate physical danger, so as much as he wanted to make a jump for Kirin, he leapt for the others, with Hinako still clutching tightly to his back.

"Ranma-kun! ...Save Akane-chan, who can't swim!" Kasumi ran to the nearest edge, looking over. What she saw horrified her, there were no people, just the last pieces of wood being pulled under by the waves. "You monster! Even Ranma-kun, swept under, how could you?"

Kasumi was crushed, almost her whole family, wiped out before her very eyes, and they wondered why she had not wanted them to do this. She knew Nabiki would recover, her little sister was emotionally the strongest one of them all, but as for her, she did not want to live with the guilt! Kasumi Tendo made a short, silent prayer.

The young woman then moved faster than any of them had thought possible, as she threw herself over the side of the ship, only to have her plunging descent arrested by something wrapping itself around her waist as she slammed into the side of the airship, knocking the wind from her lungs. As she was being hauled back up, she saw something that made her realize her miscalculation, and ceased to struggle while trying to catch her breath.

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"That's it Akane, use that brute strength of yours!"

"Why you...!"

"That's it, use that anger ta hold on! Ryoga, if ya let Akane fall, I will serve you up with breakfast!"

"As if I would ever do that!" Ryoga was so shocked at the implication that he would ever drop Akane, that he missed the 'pork' reference entirely.

Hinako panted with her death-grip on Ranma's chest, thankful that he had grabbed her as they started to fall! With the sudden change, she had been dislodged from her onii-chan, and he had snatched her out of the air before she had fallen too far. She was still gripping the pieces of his shirt in her hands. She was so scared she could not even spare a glance at the elephant above them with the Chinese onee-chan on its head, or below where mustache man and the mean glasses man were hanging on below, all she could do was to bury her face in the warm, safe chest, while trying to hide from the scary world. She did not think she could ever have been brave enough to jump off of a flying ship, even with a rope!

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The sun had finally climbed over the mountains, providing a breathtaking sight. The morning sun glistened off of the spraying water from several geysers that shot up into the crisp blue sky, and producing rainbows almost everywhere they looked.

"It is quite majestic, eh Tendo-kun?"

"Ah yes, it is said that this mountain is protected by the spirit of Mount Fuji!"

"No one say that! Is Nekonron, said be legendary place, where Monkey King, Sun Wukong once fought! Is home of Seven Lucky Gods after all, and at center, Seven-Luck Mountain, where is they castle. Geysers say formed during battle of gods!"

"Sugoi!"

"Yeah, it's pretty amazin', all right, especially from way up here-" Just as Ranma was finishing his sentence, one of the jets of hot water blasted them all, stopping just shy of the boat. Luckily, the only one who had been unable to maintain their grip had been Happosai, unfortunately for them all, he had been the one holding onto the ship...

Luckily, the hot water broke their fall. It had been a rough landing, but one they had all been able to walk away from without serious injury. "At least that washed off th' pickle juice! Now, which way'd they go?"

"It was this way, I'm sure!" Ranma grabbed Ryoga by the collar, keeping him from running off.

"If Ryoga thinks they went that way, we know it has to be this way. Let's go!"

"Raaaaaannnnmaaa...!"

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"Lord Kirin! Are you sure you want to go in there, after what happened last time?"

"Be at ease, Ebiten."

"Yes, Sire."

Walking into the room, he turned to face Kasumi, who was sitting on the bed, absently staring out the window. "Kirin sees you have calmed. Have you decided to become the bride of Kirin then?"

Kasumi did not pull her eyes from the porthole as she shook her head. "I cannot."

"How could that be? Could you have given your heart to that man? How is it the one that Kirin has bested is the one you care for? Amusing. Kirin is the only man worthy of your love."

"Oh my, you are quite mistaken, but Ranma-kun will come for you, and that scroll. Of this I am certain."

"Oh? Interesting. This man comes for Kirin then, not for you?"

"Of course not! Why would anyone come for me?"

"Why would anyone not?" Kirin slowly leaned in, intending to kiss his bride to be, however she cringed and turned away. "Fine then, I will fight for you in earnest, and when your man is defeated, you will come to Kirin of your own free will."

"Oh my ...you still do not understand at all."

"You must love this man very much to have such confidence, but fear not, Kirin will not be overwhelmed if you are the prize!"

'Do I? ...Of course, like a little brother! Ranma-kun is Akane-chan's iinazuke, and that is all there can be to it. Besides, my tastes are ...different, are they not? I like older, more mature men, younger men are just so ...young!' Kasumi spared a glance at the prince as he walked out of the room, more confused than she had been since this whole adventure commenced. "Oh my!"

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"I need food!"

"Too tired to go on."

"Come on guys, we can't slowdown now, we got ta save Kasumi-san!"

All of them cheered together. "YEAH!"

"What's that?" Ryoga pointed to the sky.

"A pickling stone? What's-" The bounder, about half a meter across, crashed into the ground in the middle of their circle, with handwritten paper sign taped to it. "-that doing there?"

"There's a drawing of Kasumi an' that jerk! Lychee, can ya read this?"

"Today at sundown, Kasumi-Kasumi Tendo and master Kirin, will hold wedding reception in castle tower. Seven Lucky God await guest at castle gates."

"That means this must be a challenge, they know we're here! We got ta thank that pretty-boy jerk fer th' invite!" Ranma ran off, following the direction of the stone's origin.

Lychee ran to jump onto Jasmine's back. "Ranma, wait for Lychee!"

"Ranma, you pervert!" Akane ran after them, mallet in hand.

"How dare you, Ranma?" Ryoga tried not to let Akane out of his sight.

"Go forth to battle, Ranma! Test the fruits of your training! However, before you can battle the leader, you will have to defeat each of the other Seven Lucky Gods!" Happosai's face lost all focus, and he stared off into space. "Seven, Lucky, Gods? ...That means, that means I can see the pretty lady again!" Like a shot, the ancient master was off and running after the lost boy.

"After you, Tendo-kun."

"Oh, no, no, no, Saotome-kun, after you..."

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"So, the children have come. With Bishamonten guarding the first gate, they'll not get through that easily!" Twirling his trident, the large man readied himself for battle.

"The first one would have to be a big one..."

"You'll just run away anyway, like you always do."

"Out of the way, I've got this guy! I've got a score to settle anyway. Hurry up and stop that wedding, Baka!" Mallet in hand, Akane charged after the much larger man, swinging wildly.

"Same here, we'll catch up to you soon!"

"Hey, thanks. Give 'um a Pork Chop!" Ranma and the others ran through the gate.

"Don't make me change my mind!" As soon as the fathers had made it through, Ryoga shouted, "Bakusai Tenketsu!"

Ranma only hesitated for a moment, as the first tower fell. Mumbling under his breath, Ranma picked up speed toward the second tower. "Ya'd better keep Akane safe, Pork-butt!"

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They knew they had arrived at the second tower, not just because it was a tower, and was the next one in their path, but also because it helpfully had a sign stating as much, along with strange background music playing as the oversized doors creaked open.

"What th' heck?"

"I guess that means we need to pass through here!"

"It's scary, but it's okay, 'cause your here, Onii-chan!"

"Let's go!"

"Wait for Lychee!"

"Pretty Lady?" Happosai ran through the doors, desperately looking around, as he hoped to catch even a glimpse of the beautiful bard's location.

As Ranma entered the main room, he saw the two twins sitting at a 'Go' table, playing a game.

"As the game plays on, the sun sets..."

"Humm, that is interesting, is that your move?"

"Hey, are ya two jerks th' guards here?"

"Oh, it seems we have company, Daihakusei."

"Indeed, it seems we do, Daikokusei."

"Excuse me, don't let me interrupt yer relaxing game, don't get up, I'll let myself out."

"Oh my, how terribly rude."

"It certainly was, dear brother. Whatever shall we do?"

"I guess we shall have to teach our friend some manners."

"Shall we?"

"Surely. After you."

"Thank you."

"Go on Ranma my boy, your father will save you from these fiends!"

"I think they are perfectly suited opponents for us, don't you Saotome-kun?"

"Indeed Tendo-kun!"

"I am afraid you do not understand."

"Yes, I am sorry, but we must stop any of you from proceeding."

Soun, used to talking to children, or at least child-like adults, knew just how to enforce discipline in his students! Soun's trademarked Demon Head technique prevented any further discussion on the matter. "I said WE were to be your opponents!"

Both of the twins responded in a weak unison. "Okay."

"No time to waste, Ranma-kun! 'Go', save my daughter!"

"You have my word, Tendo-san!"

"'Go', you said, fine then, I will. First move, four-fourteen, black!"

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As they approached the third gate, Ranma paused, curious, not seeing anyone around. "Is this it? I don't see a guard. I guess this one is going to be easy!"

"Pretty Lady!" Happosai did not even slow down, making a straight light to go through the gate, however as he approached, the largest of the Seven Lucky Gods seemingly stepped from nowhere, blocking their path, and sending the old man flying.

"He's huge!" Ranma barely stood up to this next guard's bellybutton. He had briefly seen the man on the boat, but to be that close, was something else. Ranma was momentarily struck speechless.

"He many time bigger than Jasmine!"

Said elephant stepped forward, looking up at the larger man. After a moment, Jasmine raised her trunk to the man's face, as he wrapped his arms around her trunk with hearts in his eyes.

"I guess they friends now."

"Well, I guess that means the coast is clear now, huh? Let's go!"

"Jasmine, you stay here and make 'nice-nice', okay?"

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Kasumi looked beautiful in the wedding attire in which she had been dressed. Sadly, her lovely appearance did not match the discontented look upon her face, as she stepped into the room where Kirin awaited her. The sunlight glistened off of the sparkling jewelry she had been wearing, dazzling the eyes of anyone in view.

As the prince turned around, his face lit up, barely able to contain his gaze. "How lovely you are!"

The complement was not enough to improve her mood however...

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Mon-Lon was relaxing on the roof of her gatehouse, looking stunning as she calmly plucked out a simple tune on her favorite instrument, hardly seeming to notice Ranma and Lychee approaching at all. It was not until Ranma had spoken his challenge that she bothered to stop playing, or even acknowledge them in any way.

"I've got business with yer boss, so get out ta th' way, an' let us pass!"

"You speak boldly young man, but I doubt you could ...'handle' me."

"Don't underestimate me, I'm serious here! Why don't ya come down here..."

Ranma jumped back as she suddenly jumped down, landing right in front of where he had been. "So what do you plan to do, boy? At least you nose isn't bleeding, that is better than your friend had managed on the boat!"

Ranma had been about to retort when he got a strong sinking feeling, and knew exactly what it was. "GET OUTTA THE WAY!" He dove to the side, pulling Lychee along with him, just in the nick of time to avoid being bowled over by an imperceptible blur.

"Do you take me for a fool?" The bard was annoyed by the lad's reaction, but it did not last as the blur suddenly stopped right in front of her.

"Pretty lady! Pretty lady!"

"Aiyaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Well, normally I would stop the old pervert, but we're in a hurry."

"Onii-chan, CHARGE!"

As Ranma started to run, he turned back and shouted, "Hey, sorry about that, but, ya know, good luck with th' old man!"

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"Wahahahaha! So you've made it all the way to the fifth castle gate! But this is where your luck ends!" The little man commenced spinning his fishing pole like a staff. "As the fearless Ebiten, I shall allow no one to pass through here!"

"I don't got time fer this! If ya won't let me through, I'll turn ya inta a garden gnome fer Kasumi's garden!" Ranma took up a fighting stance of his own and charged in. "Let's go!"

Lychee cringed, the small man's longer reach gave him a clear advantage as blows rained down upon Ranma and his charge. Even she could tell that he had to be especially careful whenever a strike came anywhere near the child on his back, it required a slightly different focus, but she saw that he was gradually getting used to it, and so far, the girl had barely been inconvenienced, though Ranma's shirt was looking much worse for wear.

Luckily, the little man rarely aimed above Ranma's shoulders, so he usually only had to worry about protecting Hinako's legs and back. His best move was to get behind the dwarf, it never lasted long, but he could get in a few blows that way. Flipping over his head worked a few times, but the little man had figured out a counter to that, by aiming for Hinako's head, and Ranma had to twist out of the way to avoid it.

Their melee had moved off to the side, and had even punched a few holes in the walls, but Ranma had managed to take all of the hits himself. Hinako screamed when a rare blow to Ranma's face had drawn blood. "Not in the face! Not in onii-chan's face!"

"It's okay kid, it didn't hurt. It will take more than that to stop Ranma Saotome!"

"Good, it wouldn't be fun otherwise!"

"What's taking so long, Baka?" Akane ran by, quickly followed by Ryoga.

"Yeah Pervert, hurry up or you'll miss all the fun!"

"Not only are you fighting the smallest one, but you take this long? Ranma, my boy, you disappoint me!"

"I thought you were going to save my Kasumi-chan!"

"I'm working on it!"

"'None shall pass', I said!"

"We aren't waiting!"

"Hey!" Ranma watched as the last of his tentative family passed him by... "At least take the kid!" A growl formed in his throat. "Fine then." The boy's battle aura grew brighter and he leapt into action! ...by running away, rebounding off of a nearby wall, and high into the air, well over the reach of the man's pole, and luckily short man did not think quickly enough to use his fishing line. Ranma's arms blurred into motion as he descended, shattering the little man's weapon before landing blows on the man, and his gate as well.

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An explosion was heard in the distance, and Kasumi regained a bit of her smile, which grew a bit wider as the chamber doors flew open and Akane, her father, and several of their friends ran into the room. She then noticed that Ranma was not with them and instantly began to worry. The fact that Happosai and the elephant were not there, did not seem to register as important to her in any way.

"As promised, we held off on the sacred ceremony until your arrival. You may now stay for the festivities, or be defeated by Kirin. Either way, it should be an honor for you."

"Will there be food?"

"Saotome-kuuuuuun!"

Genma at least had the decency to look embarrassed, as he apologized. "Hee hee, sorry Tendo-kun, you know how it is..."

"Do you yield?"

"Give us back Kasumi-nee-chan!"

"Fine then, the punishment for disturbing a sacred ceremony, is most dire indeed." The young monarch stepped forward, keeping Kasumi behind him as he launched his attack, and in the blink of an eye, all four of them had been knocked out!

"Akane-chan, father, uncle Saotome!" Kasumi was really getting tired of people getting hurt on her account, and she vowed she would do something about it.

"Come now, we are here to join these two halves of the scroll, and with it, our lives! This is a happy occasion! Why do you not seem pleased that Kirin has disposed of our uninvited meddlers. What is wrong?"

Kasumi was dismayed, she could not believe the show of power, that just knocked out her whole family, the best martial artists Nerima had to offer, and they were hurt, so easily, to protect her. "You keep hurting my family, how could I possibly be happy about that? Why would I be 'pleased' that my friends and family are not 'invited' to my supposed wedding? That you would beat them up for trying to be here for me. In what world is that acceptable?"

"The world of the gods, of course! Now take this, and we will undertake the ceremony." Kirin handed half of the scroll to Kasumi, and she just stared at it, unable to even move for a moment, until she remembered something about the scroll containing a secret technique, and considering the power she had just seen displayed, she knew that this man did not need any more, and accepted her half, not sure what she would be able to do to prevent him learning this new technique!

She was searching the room for a source of fire when she heard one coming...

"Where's that pretty-boy jerk?" The doors flew open, revealing Ranma, with Hinako on still on his back, his battle aura blazing, and a flame in his eyes, Ranma smiled as he saw his goal. "There ya are Kasumi-san, I'll have ya out a' this real soon, just hold tight."

"Ranma-kun!" Hearing his voice raised her spirits, even if she was aghast to see the bruises and cuts on Ranma's face and body, but the relief she felt upon seeing him standing in the doorway had somewhat surprised her. She had known he would come, she had known the boy long enough to have faith in his determination, but she was unprepared for the joy she felt when his silhouette appeared there, like a phoenix, rising from the ashes! "Ranma-kun! You're hurt!"

"Ain't nuthin', I'm fine."

"Here we come to save the day! Onii-chan is on the way!" Hinako's grip tightened, as she expected the fight to start, but Ranma did not move.

"Ya should wait over there, where it's safer."

Hinako looked as if she were about to start crying. "But you said..."

"That's not really what I meant... I didn't mean while I'm fighting."

"But..."

"How about ya run over there, Kasumi-nee-chan will keep ya safe. Who could be better than onee-chan?"

A spark across the child's face, as she shook her head, clearly showing her certainty. "Onii-chan!"

Ranma's shoulders slumped. "Ya seem ta have me at a disadvantage."

"Kirin seems to have you at several, but do not allow that to stop you now, not when you have made it this far." Walking forward, the prince turned to focus on Kasumi for a moment. "Now, when Kirin defeats this man you love, nothing will be left standing on our way!"

Ranma froze for a moment, when the prince spoke, sure he had misheard something, and not certain what to make of it...

Kasumi straightened up, tightening her grip on her half of the scroll. "Still you continue to misunderstand everything!" Kasumi hesitated at the befuddled look she was receiving from Ranma, but focused her glare at the placid prince. A 'glare' that on anyone else might look lovely, pleasant even, but to see it on Kasumi's fair features was like a demon clawing its way up from the abyss. "Ranma-kun is here to stop you, due to a promise, but I am the one standing in your way!" Sparing another glance at her rescuer, she silently thanked him with her eyes. "I will always be thankful to Ranma-kun and the others for coming to save me, because I am now certain, I do not want this. One who treats others as you do, could never make me happy."

Now it was Kirin's turn to be baffled, how was it, that he, 'the great Kirin', could possibly not make anyone happy? The sheer audacity of such an idea was almost enough to floor his greatness, luckily for him, Ranma too was ...distracted to take advantage of his momentary lapse. Surely the woman would come around once she got to see how good it was to be the prince!

Still somewhat perplexed by the scene before him, Ranma finally latched onto one thing that he understood with clarity, 'this guy was not making Kasumi happy', and, ignoring the emotional stuff he was ill equipped to handle, he was ready to act! Back on comfortable ground, Ranma's body proceeded to act without the need for conscious thought, allowing him to focus on analyzing and annoying his opponent. Something he still desperately needed, as none of his fastest punches were getting though. It was as if the guy had an invisible shield blocking his every attack!

"Your feeble punches cannot touch the almighty Kirin, your attack is easily countered." Kirin's speed was easily double that of Ranma, and he used it to easily slip inside of the younger man's guard, striking a blow to his face, surprising every other conscious person in the room.

Kasumi fretted, absentmindedly playing with the hem of her gown, and muttering her mantra of 'Ara, ara, ara', agonizing as Ranma took hit after hit.

Flying backwards, Ranma twisted his body so that he would hit the wall with his feet, not his back ...he did not want to crush Hinako after all. Rebounding off of the wall, Ranma spotted what he had been looking for, and made a dash for it. It was only the abruptness of his change in tactics that gave him the lead-time that he had, and allowed him to pull off a Saotome Final Attack! Grabbing the scroll half Kasumi had dropped in the excitement, he made a break for the nearest window, stopping and facing into the room, he waved the scroll around. "Ya needed this, right? Let's take this somewhere safer..."

As Ranma hopped from floor to floor, making his way down the building, the others ran for the stairs, following Kirin. Hinako squealed in delight as she rode the 'onii-chan express', loving the feeling of the wind blowing through her hair, and forgetting for a moment that they were in the middle of a fight! After shoving the scroll into his shirt, Ranma had grabbed onto Hinako, to make sure she had not gotten flung off, and after a moment, she asked him how he had gotten the marks on his hands...

Ranma stared at one hand, as he held on onto her with the other, and after a moment, he shouted, suddenly changed directions, and headed for the nearest geyser, making sure everyone saw where he had gone.

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Ranma concluded that Kirin's shield and attack were basically two applications of the same technique, and figured the only ways to get through the guard were to either attack with something that could not be blocked by chopsticks, hit him with something that could overpower them, or just catch him off guard. This was not the first time he had run into someone who found a really good move, thought it made them invincible, and focused all of their energy into that one training method, but every technique, no matter how powerful, had a weakness, the trick was finding what it was ...and a way to exploit it.

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Ranma splashed around in the nearest of the many hot springs located around the area, and made sure that he could be spotted, as Hinako sang. "Chopsticks, chopsticks, gettin' hit with chopsticks. Chopsticks, chopsticks, gotta break um soooon! In the morning, we will eat with chopsticks, and in the afternoon, we will use them too! In the evening, we will use some chopsticks, but to use them in a fight, just seems so very rude!" Hinako paused in her song for a moment, and had to ask. "I'm singing for you. Do you like my song, onii-chan?"

"It's perfect!" Ranma grinned, making a racket is exactly what he needed. "There ya are! Fer a guy who moves so fast, ya sure are slow!"

"Are you finally tired of running away? Will you stay and get beaten now?"

"Too many people were unconscious back there, can't let 'em get hurt if this gets out a' hand." Having his fan club watching, he made a point of being more like a proverbial manga hero, and posed dramatically. He never could resist the urge to show off when he had an audience. "Besides, haven't ya lost enough buildings today?"

"Return the scroll and Kirin will make your suffering short!"

"Don't try to eat MY onii-chan!" Hinako wanted to throw something, but did not dare to let go again.

Ranma had to resist a chuckle before he could continue. "Just give me back Kasumi-san, er yer humiliation won't be short."

"You cannot defeat Kirin, it is to laugh. You have shown us your best move, and it was not enough by far."

"Who said that was my best? This fight's just gettin' started! Who starts a fight with their best move anyway? That's no fun... Oh, that's right, a guy who only has one move!" Ranma shouted out the revised name of his attack as his hands blurred into motion, and his usual cocky grin returning. "You holdin' up okay, One-Trick Pony?"

"Revised? This seems like the same ineffective attack to me, Kirin can block this while sleeping. Kirin thought you were going to show us something new." Just as he had finished his boast, he had taken a blow to the gut.

Ranma's cheering squad rejoiced as they shouted out encouragements.

"No, there definitely seems to be something different to me..." Three more attacks made it through his wooden guard, one to his chest, and two to his face, staggering the young man, before knocking him back. "You seem surprised, how about this one?" No one else had noticed how Ranma had been leading Kirin around in a spiral, but when he landed his uppercut, the cool ki from the two young men, mixed with the heat from the hot spring, and the 'dragon' was unleashed!

Ranma underestimated the power of the hurricane he had created, and both the scroll and Hinako were ripped from him. He had quickly pulled Hinako into his chest, and started to swim for the scroll when he saw that Kasumi had been caught up in the wind as well, while Lychee was swimming for the scroll. Ranma wasted no time for thought, and immediately put all of his effort into a power-dive for Kasumi.

At the same time, Kirin woke up, saw the scroll, and dove for it, catching Lychee in its place, who was still clenching her prize.

Ranma landed holding Kasumi tightly, with Hinako carefully tucked between them. "Ranma-kun, you saved me! But, didn't you need that scroll?"

Embarrassed, Ranma rubbed the back of his neck, not sure what to do about the young woman still hugging him. It was not like he had ever had much luck dislodging one before, he could not even get the kid to let go, and it seemed rude to try to do that to Kasumi anyway. "Aw, it was nuthin', 'sides, yer more important than any stupid scroll..." Ranma was trying to look anywhere other than into Kasumi's caring eyes, in hopes that she would not see his blush, and so he had not see hers either.

Kirin carried Lychee's unconscious form out of the rubble, his bowl of rice and chopsticks long since abandoned as he looked down at her with a gentle look upon his face. The young woman, still clutching the scroll, started to come to, as she caught her prince's gaze. He gently set her down once he was sure she could stand again on her own. Not saying a word, the two of them got lost in each other's eyes.

The young Chinese woman's dreams had been shattered far too many times in recent days for her to be holding onto any hope at this point, and so she just held out the half of the scroll she had so desperately recovered. "Here, you have, is important, yes?"

"Thank you." Calmly, the noble young man, accepted her half, while pulling out his own, before slowly rejoining the two halves, which magically combined as one. Looking up, prince Kirin looking into the eyes of the young woman before him, who was still staring longingly into his own. The hopeful look on her face, unmatched by the calm one on his.

Neither moved for what seemed like an eternity.

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"Kasumi-Kasumi Tendo, without you, Kirin would never have known these experiences, thank you." The two of them bowed to each other.

"Just try not to kidnap any more princesses, it is always best to ask first!"

"I do not believe that will be a problem again." Kirin spared a glance at Lychee, who was still giving him a hopeful look, though it was slowly fading into disappointment. "Ranma, I have never before met your like. You defeated Kirin utterly."

"Then, that means yer givin' up on marryin' Kasumi-san?"

"When it came to a choice, Kirin went after the scroll. You proved you care more about Kasumi-Kasumi Tendo than Kirin, you are the one who is worthy of marrying the woman, you two deserve to be happy together. In fact, you are no longer a commoner, I hereby grant you a title! You and your brides will always be welcome here!"

"'Brides'?"

"Oh my!"

"It's not like that!" Taking a moment to recover from his shock, Ranma turned back to their traveling companion. "So, Lychee, whatcha gonna do now?"

The young woman put on a brave face, trying not to depress the others. "Lychee start from beginning, start saving, rebuild family business..." She didn't even glance in the direction of the man she had been chasing for so long. "Then Lychee find TRUE prince on white horse! Maybe make long trip again, maybe you see Lychee again too too soon..."

Ranma froze for a moment, worried where this might be leading...

She looked up, catching Kirin's eyes, and getting depressed again, as she placed her hand on Jasmine, and turned to leave.

"Wait, Lychee was it? Let Kirin ask you something... Can you cook ...I mean things other than rice and pickles?"

The young girl glanced at him nervously over her hat, which she was holding in front of her face, trying to hide as much as she could. "Well, Lychee family DID own restaurant before it destroyed..."

Growing hopeful, the young monarch looked deeply into the young woman's eyes. "Is that a 'yes', can you show our chefs how to prepare these things?"

Lychee was not exactly sure where this was going, but it was not like she had many prospects, not after her family and their business were ruined, If she did not get to marry her prince or find a job here, then she would have to mooch off of that nice Japanese boy and his family or wander, desperately looking for any work, and she did not really want that, so she shyly nodded, hoping for the best. It was as good a place to 'start over' as any! Even if it DID come with some sad memories.

"Oh, thank you my queen! You have made Kirin a very happy man!" Lychee could not believe her ears, had her dream really come true?

Kasumi leaned in to whisper to Lychee, how she ought to put pickling seasonings in their normal meals, and slowly wean them off of it as they get used to other foods. Allow them to grow accustomed to it slowly.

Still feigning offence at the previous perceived slight, she tried to tease her. "Fine, Lychee get prince back, you get husband back!"

"Oh ...but, I'm not. Is that how it looks to you? I mean ...Oh my." Kasumi's blush brightened the already well lit day, almost giving her a pink glow. She looked truly at home among the land of the gods.

"Why deny now? That how look to everyone! Lychee saw the way you held-"

Just then, Akane came charging over the hill, quickly followed by Ryoga and the others. "'HELD"?! Ranma, you ...PERVERT! I can't trust you with ANYONE! Girls, boys, Nabiki and now KASUMI TOO? What is WRONG with you? How low will you sink?"

"I- I- ...but-"

Perhaps it was the all of the excitement, but for some reason, Kasumi was mildly offended by the implications of her sister's rant, not that she dared to let it show. 'What is wrong with me? I know I am not as popular as Akane-chan, or as pretty as Nabiki-chan, but would I be worse than a boy? Why am 'I' the lowest point in that list? I was the one the prince took, not you, although, I suppose no one DID try anything... Oh my, maybe Akane-chan is right, maybe no boy will ever want me, it is not like I have much time to look ...I have a family to take care of, and that is worth any sacrifice! After all, if I were to get married, whoever it is would have to move into the dojo with us, it is not as if I could leave it to Akane-chan! That poor old house needs me!'

"Why you care? Spend whole trip with boyfriend? Why be jealous over sister husband?"

"Why you... I am NOT jealous!"

"Akane, just calm down, there's no need to be so uncute."

"You pervert! This is all your fault anyway! How dare you do this to me?" Akane pulled out her mallet and Ryoga grabbed his umbrella as the pair charged forward, auras blazing, intending to attack.

Without thinking, Kasumi leaped in front of Ranma, followed by little Hinako. Hinako was not sure what she thought she could do to help, but she wanted to help her 'onii-chan' more than anything. Moving without thinking, she looked at the pair through the hole in the sucker she held out as a peace offering, while shouting out the first words came to mind. They made no sense to her, even though they DID sound familiar. "Good Girl, Exercise, Number One! Malice! Evil! Illness! Pain! Magic!"

Memories returned along with her sense of self as Hinako regained her adult form. In spite of her personality being restored, absorbing all of the angry and depressed ki from her targets fueled her already distressed mood, and she ripped into the now deflated teens. "Do this to 'you'? To YOU? What exactly was done to YOU?"

Akane had no coherent response even if she had possessed the energy, or will, to speak. All of her anger had left her, and she felt as though she were just floating in the breeze. She had never been drained by Hinako before, and she wasn't exactly sure what anyone had complained about, she had never felt so at peace in her life...

Hinako's aura was blazing twice as brightly as either Akane or Ryoga's had been, her eyes were glowing and her hair was flowing straight up with a seeming breeze. "Your sister was the one who was kidnapped, and Saotome-kun was the one who got beat up coming to the rescue, along with some of these others here. I was there, I remember what happened, you insisted on coming along, that guy stole the scroll, and that girl brought it to Japan, so in what way is this Saotome-kun's fault?"

Ryoga tried his best to make a case for their side, wanting to defend the love of his life, but unable to put any force behind his words. "Pervert... hurt Akane... hit on ...Kasumi-san ...worst man ...alive."

Hinako glanced over at their fathers, and then to Ranma. "There seems to be a pattern here, has this trip been typical? Is this the way these situations always go for you?"

Unsure what was going on, or if he was even awake given that someone was defending him, Ranma could do little more than nod half-heartedly and shrug. "Well, usually Akane's th' one kidnapped, but..." Nothing about this day was feeling 'real' to him any longer. Kasumi jumping in to save him, Hinako-sensei jumping to his defense, nothing made sense, he was sure someone was going to sprout a second head, or grow wings and fly off at any moment if he did not wake up beforehand. Even if it was only a dream, he was pleased he saved Kasumi, that was all that really mattered... The rest could be sorted out later.

"No, I meant... never mind, I think I have my answer," Hinako turned back to Soun and Genma, glaring daggers. "And you! How could you two not see what was going on here?"

Soun was just standing there, flabbergasted, pointing at Hinako, and babbling incoherently. "Small, big, friend, teacher, child, adult... Wahhh!", while Genma held up a flimsy panda mask in one hand, and a sign that read, 'seems normal to me' in the other.

Not being a fan of the men forcing Akane to marry that pervert, Ryoga mustered the rest of his energy to get out what he could. "Their ...fault, made ...marriage promise."

"Uh, Hinako-sensei? You're back ta normal? Um, thanks ...I guess." Ranma was stunned, not only from this new revelation, but also from the embarrassment of remembering his 'babysitting' assignment, wondering how much of the last few days she remembered clearly.

Hinako turned a cool look toward the badly beaten young man, being supported by Kasumi. "You are welcome. With my ...fresh perspective, I saw some things I had missed before, and I ...seem to have been mistaken about much I had taken for granted. I believe that I owe you an apology ...as well." Hinako's head drooped, as she calmed down. "I think I need some time to reevaluate my ...situation. I will be in touch soon ...o-NI-I-chan!"

Hinako quickly skipped from the room, before any of the stunned onlookers could follow.

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Everyone stood there for a while, still stunned over one revelation or another, before someone finally asked, "So, what WAS on that scroll anyway?"

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Well, I suppose you could say that takes care of the 'prologue' of the 'short story' that grew out of hand. The rough draft of this story is finished, as I intended this to be a one shot, but since it will not allow me to upload that much at a time, I will be uploading it in smaller pieces, as I am able to get them proofread, and reworked.

Where will our story lead? Who will call Ranma a pervert next? What will happen after this? Hopefully one of you will like (or dislike) this well enough to give me your thoughts on it. Public review, or private message, whatever makes you the most comfortable. The more people talk to me about it, the more inspired I am to continue the work.

Again, I am sorry about the delay on my other story, but this is what I have been up to for the last few years. I hope you have enjoyed this so far, and that you will return for the next installment.


	3. Chapter 3

Welcome to Chapter 3 of my 'one shot' 'short-story'. I finally managed to get more of it edited, so here you go, I hope you enjoy it.

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The flight home on one of Kirin's air ships was uneventful, and filled with pickles. Mon-Lon had stopped to thank Ranma for going back to save her from Happosai, while shooting a brief dirty look toward Kirin for forgetting about her, that is, after having found all of her ...things. Most of the guests chose to keep to themselves, lost to their own thoughts, other than the fathers, who considered everything 'back to normal' and chose to spend the flight playing board games with the twins, mostly teaching them shogi.

Everyone waved as the ship departed, even Kasumi had forgiven everyone and was cheerfully waving along with the rest of them. Lychee and her prince stood with an arm wrapped around each other, surrounded by their friends, and waving back as they flew away.

"Well, it looks like you all had fun. What did you bring me for a souvenir?"

All of them turned to Nabiki and spoke in unison, as they each handed her a jar. "Pickles!"

Seeing the look on the middle Tendo daughter's face, Ranma almost sympathized. "Well, ya did ask..."

Looking for a way for a bit of payback, Nabiki needled her largest source of income. "So, why didn't you visit Jusenkyo while you were in China?"

Ranma almost face-faulted, mentally kicking himself, but his pride would not let him admit fault there. "That wasn't important! The only thing that mattered was making sure that Kasumi was safe!" 'Yeah, that's a good cover! That way I don't sound stupid!' "Nobody else suggested it at the time. Ooooh, I guess none of you thought of it, I see..." 'Good deflection!' Ranma mentally patted himself on the back, not paying attention to anyone else any longer.

"That is so sweet of you, Ranma-kun!" Nabiki noted Kasumi's reaction, but no one thought anything of it, Ryoga was too busy trying to figure out ways to blame Ranma for not taking him to Jusenkyo, and anyone else was distracted by how much louder Akane's reaction had been.

"RANMA NO ...BAKA!" Ranma oddly had the wherewithal to dodge, and run, as the two gave chase around the yard until she had calmed down.

During the commotion, Kasumi felt she would take the time to bring her things up to her room, when Nabiki noticed her sister struggling with a chest she did not remember her having. "So, um, nee-chan, what do you have there?"

"Help me carry it to my room, and I will show you." The sisters managed to drag it up the stairs without scuffing the floor. Once they were safely in her room, Kasumi slowly lifted the lid, allowing her sister to gaze inside, where her face just dropped. Kasumi might be one of the nicest, most caring people on the planet, but she took some small satisfaction in the look on her younger sister's face.

"Suuuuuugoooiiii!" Nabiki's jaw dropped as she saw the fabrics and jewelry sparkling back at her. She carefully examined several pieces, rubbing one against her tooth, pulling out an eyeglass to examine the jewels, and rubbed the silks against her face. "This is amazing, you really hit the jackpot! How did you get it all?"

"Oh, well they said it was custom fitted, so there was no point in saving it..."

'The GEMS were custom fitted? That can't be right...' Nabiki ran over every scenario she could think of involving her older sister, and was not seeing too many viable answers. "I can't believe they just let you keep that outfit, and the jewelry! They have to be worth a fortune!"

"I suppose they were not having the financial troubles I suspected... That is good to hear."

"The REAL question is are you ever going to put this outfit to good use and really get married ...or are you going to let me sell it?"

"Oh my!" An image of Ranma holding her in the dress after saving her from the twister flashed through her mind again for the third time that day with a light blush.

"Either way, you have to at least try it on, so I can get pictures!" 'Kasumi can enjoy the pictures, and I can keep copies for ...appraisal value, and insurance purposes.'

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After everyone had unpacked, and life had resumed a sense of what passed for 'normal' in Nerima, Ranma was passing by the kitchen, when Kasumi called to him.

"So, what is your favorite meal, Ranma-kun?"

Ranma did not even have to think, and like his most honest answers, he just blurted it out. "Oh, anything ya make is th' best, Kasumi-san! That's always my favorite!"

Kasumi blushed, not being good with receiving complements. "With all of those lovely young cooks who are always trying their best to make good food for you, you can't possibly mean that!"

"Oh no, good as those girls are, well most a' 'em, no one comes close ta yer cooking, I mean it! Yer awesome! ...Just, no pickles fer a while, please?"

In a rare moment of levity, Kasumi tried to lighten his mood. "But, I had just gotten this new recipe..."

Ranma didn't get time to ponder if she had been serious or not, as Akane's voice was heard from out in the hallway. "RANMA! I thought you were going to finally fix that hole in the dojo wall!"

Ranma's shoulders slumped, as he turned toward the door. "See ya' Kasumi-san. I mean it, ya put 'um all ta shame. They might each have one thing they're really good at, but yer good at everything!" Kasumi shoved a rice-ball into Ranma's hand as he slipped into the hall. "I'm on my way now!" Ranma muttered under his breath, "...It wasn't ME who broke the wall, should talk to th' pig...", before he noticed the treat and smiled. "Thank you, Kasumi-san, ... Mean it, 'th' best'!" Ranma walked off, thanking his lucky stars that Kasumi was the one feeding him extra snacks, and not ...'The Kitchen Destroyer'!

Kasumi blushed at the compliments, and poured twice as much effort into remembering which dishes Ranma had eaten the most enthusiastically. However, she then considered their usual mealtime games, and frowned slightly, she wanted Ranma to be able to enjoy this meal, to be able to savor every bite, not to have to rush to eat it before the food was stolen out from under him! She wanted to think him for saving her life, it might not be worth much to others, but she felt that it deserved her doing her best to make sure he could enjoy every last bite! It was the least she could do.

Thinking back, she seemed to remember that the last time his little friend Ryoga had come to visit, and that nice girl, Shampoo, had been kind enough to bring them free samples of sweet and sour pork, Ranma seemed to eat it with gusto. On the other hand, there were truly few things the lad did not eat with a passion, and that was one of the things she loved about having him around. It was good to feel appreciated, and there were rarely ever any leftovers. She might feel the same way about Genma, if he were not such an awful man! She never really had forgiven him for some of the things he had inflicted on Ranma as a boy, and she figured that would likely never change.

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Kasumi was in a wonderful mood, being back to her usual routine helped her to melt away all of the stress she had built up over the last weeks excitement, and she was overjoyed to be back helping her family. She had already done the laundry and cleaning, and was making their lunch boxes for the next day before she started making dinner.

Everything had been going smoothly until she went to wrap them up to put them in the freezer for morning, and she saw the design she had made in one of them! "Oh my! That just will not do, oh my, oh my... I will just have to swap it out, give it to Akane-chan instead!"

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It was late in the evening when Kasumi found Ranma alone in the dojo, working out harder than she had ever seen before, or she would if she could actually see all of him then! His arms and feet were moving so quickly at times that for moments he appeared as a floating head and torso, moving around the room. The look on his face was quite intense, and it made her feel strange to look at it. She was not sure why, perhaps it reminded her of the trials they had just underwent. That must be it!

Kasumi stood in the doorway, watching breathlessly for what felt like hours. Nearing the end, if she squinted just right, she felt as if she could almost see Ranma's movements as he hovered around the room. After a few moments, she realized what she had been doing, and where she had ended up staring, and almost stumbled into the room, managing to bow toward the shrine as she entered. "Oh my... Sorry mother." Kasumi took a moment to say a short prayer to her mother before Ranma noticed her and slowed a bit.

"Hey, Kasumi-san. Did ya need somethin'?"

"Um, yes, I mean no, I mean, not exactly..."

"Huh?" Ranma came to a complete stop, and walked over to her. "What's wrong? Did Ryoga do something, th' old man, Akane? What happened? It has ta be bad if yer out here ta get me..."

"Oh my no! It is nothing like that! It is just that, well, I wanted to, to 'thank' you!" Kasumi was getting flustered, none of this had gone the way she had pictured it in her head, and she was having trouble remembering what she had planed to say.

"Fer what?" Ranma looked honestly confused, something just did not feel right to him. This was not the way things were supposed to go...

His befuddlement just added to her own confusion, how could he ask such a question? "'What for'? For saving me of course! What else could it be?"

Ranma's hand instinctively went for the back of his neck, rubbing absently. "That's what I wanna know! I mean, ya already said 'thanks', an' that's more than most, so ya know, whatever, it's no problem!"

Kasumi gasped, discouraged by his response. "No, not 'whatever', my life might not seem like much to the rest of you, but it means a lot that you went through all that trouble for me. It is a problem for me!"

Ranma started to panic, he appeared to have done the unthinkable, he upset Kasumi! "No, wait! I didn't mean it like that! Yer perfect, I just mean I hate pushy guys like that, who try ta force themselves onta girls, it ain't right, an' I'd do it again, if anyone tries anything!"

"That is why I am here to thank you-"

"I told ya, ya have, ya ain't got ta do nuthin' else! It's fine!"

"You saved my life Ranma, at least three times, once from that stampede, again in the tsunami, and yet again by saving me from that loveless marriage. You risked your life, and you got hurt, all because of me!"

"That's where yer wrong! Yes, I saved ya, an' I'd do it as many times as needed, but it ain't exactly 'cause a' ya'! It was because that Kirin guy was being a jerk! Ya didn't do nuthin' ta deserve bein' kidnapped, it ain't yer fault! More'en anyone I know, ya deserved ta be swept off yer feet, not kidnapped, er forced inta somethin'! Yer th' nicest person I know, ya deserve ta be happy!"

"I am Ranma-kun, I am, but you deserved to be happy too."

"I'll be happy when I can beat up people like that Kirin guy, without having ta find a hot spring. I hate to admit it, but just in speed mind you, I felt totally outmatched back there, an' I don't want that ta happen, ever again!" The determined look that crossed his face left her with no doubt that he would succeed in his pledge.

"Oh my! Is that why you are out here so late, practicing so hard?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, that's not th' only reason, but that's what it's all about, isn't it? Defending th' people who can't do it themselves, that's what it means ta be a martial artist!"

"Well, big strong martial artists need to eat healthy meals to grow stronger, so as a special 'thank you', I brought you this." Kasumi uncovered a tray with several courses, with a few items for each course. Many different types and styles of food, with both traditional Japanese and Chinese dishes. There had been days where their entire family had eaten less over a whole day!

"But, Kasumi-san, didn't ya just serve us all a special thank ya dinner earlier?"

"That was for everyone who came to help, and to celebrate us all making it back alive, but I thought the 'hero' of our little story deserved a little something extra. I do not wish to see you have to rush to eat, I want you to be able to savor and enjoy every last bite."

"You mean this is ALL fer me?"

"Of course! It would not be much of a 'thank you' if it were not."

Ranma was starting to crack as drool threatened to escape his mouth, but remembered some manners he had learned 'somewhere', and taking one last look at the delicious food, he tried to refuse one last time. "Ya sure this is okay? If yer having troubles gettin' food, ya'll let me know, right? I don't wantcha ta go hungry 'cuzza me!"

Kasumi wanted him to eat while it was still fresh, so tired of his protests, she grasped the chopsticks, and gently lifted a piece of the sweet and sour pork. Ranma was relieved to not be eating alone, until Kasumi moved in more closely and held out the chopsticks, intending to feed him every bite if that was what it took to get him to relax and enjoy a peaceful meal. Although, 'relax' might have been too strong of a word, she noticed he was fidgeting even more than usual, but he WAS eating slowly, and that was a step in the right direction as far as she was concerned.

Genma's 'training' had left many 'holes' in Ranma's defenses, and women were one of the largest. While he might be able to build up a limited amount of immunity to some he spent a lot of time around, he had never had never build up a resistance to the power of Kasumi, if such a thing was even possible. He hated not having much discipline in these situations, so in order to exert some semblance of control over his life, all he could do was pray to anyone who would listen that no one would walk in and see him in that state!

He was really feeling like a heel, letting Kasumi feed him like that, but was unable to think of a way out of his embarrassment, even if he did secretly enjoy the feeling of being 'mothered' for some reason. Ranma had been unable to protest in his panicked state, especially while having something placed in his mouth every time he opened it to speak. The only thing he could think of was that perhaps Kasumi might not be doing this to him, if she knew how embarrassing it was to him. There were a few things that could override Ranma's panic, and pride was one of the easiest. His eyes darted around, not seeing what he had wanted.

Hoping to get a better idea of Ranma's preferences, Kasumi saw Ranma searching, and enthusiastically inquired, "What can I get for you, Ranma-kun?"

"Ain't there another set a' chopsticks? I can feed myself, why don't ya eat some too?"

"Oh no, I did not bring another pair, this was for you."

"Not even a spare set, incase something happened? Ya don't have any extras on ya er anything?"

She shook her head 'no', and this was true, she had intentionally left her spare sets behind so that no one else but Ranma could have any! This left Ranma with only one path forward in his head, and he quickly used his body substitution technique to switch places with Kasumi, complete with him holding out the bite for her to eat, which she did before realizing the implications.

"Oh my!" Kasumi's fingers hands went to her lips, she could not believe what had just happened. 'Not only did I eat some of Ranma-kun's food but that was an ...indirect kiss! I, I, I, oh my! Oh my! Oh my!'

"Embarrassing isn't it? Now ya know how I feel!"

"That is not true, but it will be." Kasumi snatched the chopsticks back and resumed feeding her self appointed charge. "Say 'Ah'."

Ranma quickly obeyed without thinking. "Ah."

"There, now you know how I feel! That was my first indirect kiss..." Kasumi blushed, as she considered her situation, thinking that 'it could have been much worse'.

"Yer 'what'?"

"'Indirect kiss', when you put something to your mouth that was just touching someone else's lips, like chopsticks, or a drink, and you just took my first time."

The sound of a very strong facefault would have been heard, had Ranma not just done the same thing. "Oh no, Kasumi-san, I didn't know, I am so sorry!" Ranma prostrated himself before Kasumi, pleading to be forgiven.

Kasumi blushed again, with her finger on her lips, thinking back on their adventure. "All things considered, I do not exactly mind... There is one favor I would like to ask of you though, if you do not mind, Ranma-kun."

"Sure Kasumi-san, what'd ya need?"

"Please, train me."

"What? I must have heard ya wrong, what could I show ya?"

"How to fight, of course, I can think of no one better to teach me."

Ranma's expression dropped. "No."

"If your plan for your life is to teach the martial arts, then should you not train yourself to be a teacher? Do you not need practice with a student?"

"Yes, I will, but fer now I'm still a student myself, I'm still training myself, I'm no master..."

"Oh, but you are! You know you are better than our fathers, and you have even defeated Happosai before. Who could be better? Do you want me to learn from grandfather Happosai?"

"NO! It's just, I don't want to see ya get hurt, an' I could never hurt ya!"

"That is how I feel all of the time. It hurts me to see you, or the others, get hurt on my behalf. This week has shown me that I need to be able to protect myself, or more people could get hurt again!"

Ranma turned away, his head hung low. "I'm sorry Kasumi-san, but that's something I just don't think I can do."

Kasumi was disappointed, but not deterred, this conversation was not over, she would think of a new angle, and try again. "Please do not get upset, finish your meal, you still need the nutrition for 'your' training."

Ranma felt like a heel, but there was little that could make him resist Kasumi's cooking. ...Even if he had not just burned more calories than most people consume in a week.

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Kasumi was not actually aware of Ranma's full capabilities as a fighter, she had never really paid the details of which much attention. She was certainly aware that he was one of the best around, and that he could do things that most people, herself included, would have considered impossible, however as for the specifics, she only had the vaguest of ideas. While shopping, she had seen a video game, which had a large man who reminded her of Genma, doing a move similar to Ranma's Chestnut Fist thing, so she figured that it must be realistic, and she had curiously studied the demonstrations it showed her for a little while before heading home.

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The lunch bell rang, and Nabiki calmly walked to the room that passed for her 'office' at school, she had caught one of the teachers doing something they did not want to get around, and was able to 'negotiate' the use of this room while they were not holding classes. It had been a profitable day, now that Ranma had returned, the speculations on the still missing Hinako-sensei, were fueling much of the rumor-mill activity, and the prices soared when people thought Ranma had something to do with THAT. Akane being mad at the guy, certainly helped to fan those particular flames! Things had still been going strong over the town-wide marathon before they left, and then everyone had just disappeared, it was on days like this that it was good to be the 'Ice Queen'!

The rumor she had the most fun with was the one that had Hinako off giving birth to Ranma's love child in another city, when they had not even been gone a week! This is the kind of thing that happens when nonprofessionals made up their own rumors, just not believable. It was true, some people would believe 'anything'!

Opening her lunch box, Nabiki paused to appreciate the artistic talent her older sister displayed making their lunches everyday. The way she used the peppers to form little yen signs in her rice, or eggs into bags of gold, always brought a smile to her face.

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Akane did not want to have anything to do with Ranma that day, not after all the flirting he did while they were trying to save her sister, and she was going to make sure her friends heard all about how unfaithful he had been! Of all the people to be flirting with, he had to add KASUMI to his list! How DARE he?

Yuka and Sayuri had both listened to their friend with a sympathetic ear, but being the friends they were, they did not want their friend make it to the end of lunch without eating, and they both pointed to her lunch box. It certainly was not because they were embarrassed that the whole lunchroom was staring at them, or that they were tired of listing to her complain and were hoping she would talk less with food in her mouth, not at all...

Akane thanked her friends for their concern, she did not want to miss out on one of Kasumi's special lunches. She silently wondered what kind of cute thing her sister made her lunch into that day. The hearts she saw looking back at her did confuse her, but after a moment, she smiled. 'I love you too, Kasumi-nee-san!'

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As soon as the lunch bell rang, Akane stormed off, dragging her friends behind her as she left. Ukyo had not planned to let Akane stop her either way, but it did make her feel a wave of relief seeing her offtimes friendly rival vacate the room. She quickly caught Ranma as he was about to leap from the window, asking him to join her for lunch. She felt a stabbing pain her heart when he had glanced back out of the window as if he had considered jumping anyway, so even when he climbed back in the room to walk outside with her, damage had been done. Like always, she pushed it deep inside, where she could ignore it and put on a brave face. She was sure there was a reason for it, she did not want to think that she was a burden to him, that was more than she could take at that point, she was the 'cute' iinazuke after all. The fact that Akane was upset with him meant that whatever happened, she probably did not have to worry TOO much, but her curiosity would not be sated without confirmation.

Ranma was being unusually quiet, as if he were lost in thought, and not just generally brooding about his life, which meant that they had made it to the front door before she had gotten up the courage to even speak. "Ranchan, are you-"

Before Ukyo had gotten two words out, Ranma had been bowled over the moment he had opened the door. "Airen back, so happy! Why no come see Shampoo? Where you go? Tell Shampoo!"

"It might be 'cause ya do stuff like that, maybe, ya think? Just a thought."

Shampoo looked up, noticing Ukyo for the first time, and giving her the evil eye. "Kote-girl want start fight?"

"Not right now, Sugar. WE were on our way to have lunch, when YOU interrupted!"

The two young women were staring daggers at each other when Ranma stepped forward, heading toward the tree on the outskirts of the campus as he rubbed his temples. "Look, can we NOT do this today? Ya know what? Fine, if yer going ta be like that, just leave me outa it... When ya wanna play nice, I'll be over here, an if ya wanna know what happened, it's a long story, so we can eat and talk."

Not wanting miss their chance, Shampoo and Ukyo quietly followed, each cautiously eyeing the other, ready to defend themselves or Ranma at the least provocation, but neither willing to make the first move and earning the ire of their love. A good martial artist knows to wait until their opponent is committed to an action before making their move.

Once at the tree, the three teens pulled out their lunches. Ukyo had whipped out her portable grill and was quickly frying up her lunch special pork okonomiyaki, Shampoo had pulled an insulated container from her cleavage, and a picnic blanket, which she spread out on the ground before setting out several dishes, fully intending to make sure there was enough for both her and Ranma's overly healthy apatite.

The smells from Shampoo's box attracted the others' attention, encouraging Ranma to open his bento while Ukyo to continue cooking and watching the buxom young woman continue to pull food from what seemed to be a bottomless container! It was far more food than even Ranma would normally eat in one sitting. Ukyo was speechless, she hated to be out done by anyone, but when it was Shampoo, it hurt worst of all. Ranma's curiosity got the better of him, and he could not help but to ask, "So, um, whacha got there?"

"Airen like? It smell too too good, yes? Shampoo no see Ranma for so long, want make special lunch. It too too delicious, start with roasted duck steamed bun, egg noodle, with smoked duck and snow pea, and then Shangcha Duck, marinate in camphor-tea. Airen like duck, yes?"

Both Ranma and Ukyo looked horrified for a moment. Pointing at the plate, they both asked, "Is that?"

"What, is stupid Mousse? No, but make duck keep duck-boy from bothering Shampoo in kitchen! No want be next course... Eat pork lunch, no is pig-boy?"

"What? NO! Never! I wouldn't eat that pig if Ah was starvin'!"

"Pancake-girl soon be that, since food burning..."

"AAAaahhh!" Ukyo quickly put out the fire, feeling wholly embarrassed and giving evil looks to the Chinese warrior, which were gift-wrapped and tied with a bow. She took some small comfort in the fact that Ranma was also paying too much attention to Shampoo's offerings to notice her mistake, something that filled her with equal parts relief and discomfort.

Ranma's hands were absentmindedly opening his own lunch, while his eyes remained focused on Shampoo's food. "What is eating there?"

All three of them stared at the lunch box in Ranma's hand, 'admiring' the anime-styled kitten design in the rice. Strangely the box seemed to almost float in the air, before falling to the blanket, followed shortly by the food, which landed back into the box. "Oh, Ranma work to get over fear be with Shampoo, oooooh sooo happy!"

"Ranchan?"

"Airen, Airen?" Looking around, they did not see Ranma anywhere, only the slightly spilled bento, and two foot prints that showed he had been there.

"It's okay, Ranchan, yer Ucchan'll save ya from th' bad kitty! Ya ain't gotta worry, Ah'll make ya something else ta eat!"

"Is no need, Shampoo bring plenty food. Ranma no deserve have burnt, flat foods. Should have rich, delicious Shampoo cooking! Is too too good!"

"This has ta be yer doing! Ya switched out Ranchan's bento, so ya could serve yer greasy, fowl, cooking!"

"How Shampoo do? Besides, if do Shampoo use self as model! Help husband be used to eating pretty kitty! This Pancake-Girl fault, is one what scare Airen off during training with burn food!"

Electric ki was shooting out of each of their eyes as they stared at each other, neither willing to give a millimeter and wishing that looks could kill. The sound of a yell started getting closer and it occurred to them that they were at ground zero. "...oooooooooooOOOOk OOOOOUUUUUTTTTT BEEEEELOOOOOW!"

Luckily, the incoming projectile had been Ranma, who had recovered enough from his shock by then to land safely from his surprised leap. "Save the box, but would one of you get rid of that thing?" Without looking, Ranma pointed at his bento box.

"Sure Ranchan! Ucchan will save you!" Not wanting to give him the option, Ukyo quickly ate the homemade lunch as quickly as she could, and handed the box back to him. Even as quickly as she has swallowed it, she did note that it was really quite good, for something that was not an okonomiyaki that was. She was about to start making him a replacement lunch, when she saw the error in her plan.

"Airen say, 'Aaah'!" Shampoo was already feeding Ranma her steamed buns. Ukyo was too late, if only she could eat as quickly as Ranma and his father... One day she should ask him what the trick was to it.

'Ya won this time, bimbo, but just ya wait!' Ignoring the people who had lined up for okonomiyaki, Ukyo shut down her grill, and plopped down beside Ranma. "Okay, so now, what was it that took ya away from us, that was so important that ya couldn't even tell us ya were going ta be gone? We were worried sick!"

"Yes, too too sick! Shampoo beside self with worry, and both self sick!"

"Oh, sorry, it's just, we had ta go ta China an' save Kasumi, who got kidnapped by this prince guy..." Ranma saw the incredulous looks he was being given, and thought over what he said to pick out what he might have gotten wrong. "Well okay, I guess it wasn't THAT long a story... It seemed longer when I was there."

"You go China without Shampoo?" Shampoo hrumped and pouted. "Also, Airen too too bad at tell story!"

"Fer once we agree, Ah think ya skipped over a few details there, Ranchan."

"Well, what else is there to tell?"

"That's what we wanna know!"

"Okay, okay, where to start...? There was this girl- No." Ranma saw the flames heating up and knew exactly where that could go and tried to change directions. "Hey, hey, hey! It's not like that! Just hear me out, would ya?"

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After classes were over, Ranma rushed home as quickly as he could, hoping to miss out of anything 'interesting' on the way. Beating the others home, he first went to return his bento box to the kitchen.

"Good-afternoon, Ranma-kun, how was your day?" Kasumi was as cheerful as ever, and Ranma could not find it in himself to be angry, so he just handed over his box, and turned away.

"It coulda been worse, I guess... I'll be in the dojo."

Setting the box on the counter, Kasumi placed her hand on Ranma's shoulder. "Ranma-kun, what's wrong? Did something happen today?"

"Nuthin's wrong. Just ...leave me alone, okay?"

Before she could move, Ranma had run out of the house, and left Kasumi grasping air where his shoulder had just been. The pain in his voice had cut her more deeply than any improperly handled knife, and before long she ran after him. Even if he had not told her where he would be, Ranma was not difficult to locate, even she could see the dark aura around the dojo, and hear the occasional sounds from within.

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Ranma was completely focused on a kata, tuning out everything other than his danger sense, and trying to forget everything except the art. It was the only aspect of his life that was not in complete shambles, and yet his recent adventure had shown him just how much more he needed to improve on that front as well. Unless he could find some other way to gain power, becoming faster was his best bet. God or not, he had just seen an example of how much faster someone could be, and he had been completely outmatched. His 'Chestnut Fist' was one of the fastest around, almost no one could match his speed and that prince Kirin jerk had easily blocked him with one hand!

Well, there was one way to do it, if he could figure out the guy's training method, then he could use something similar that would work with his own style. Casually, Ranma went from moving at superhuman speeds, to sitting in the center of the room, in lotus position, standing on his head. He thought back on Kirin's move, replaying it over and over in his head. He felt the bowl of rice was significant, more than the opulence of it, it was the way he always had it in hand, and never spilled a single grain. There had to be something to it...

Not wanting to waste food, he tried to think of another way that he might test his latest idea, when he felt the eyes on his back. There had been no malice in that gaze, so he had tuned it out, but something in it had changed, and it made him feel ...uncomfortable, so he felt he needed to see what was happening. "Ya need somethin', Kasumi-san?"

When Ranma had turned to face her, only realizing where her eyes had come to rest as it left her view, and she blushed, turning away. "Oh my. That was my question, actually... Something seems to be really troubling you, and I thought, it might help to talk about it. ...Even if I cannot help you directly, sometimes just talking about things will make you feel better."

The sincerity in her voice confused the young man, had he been dealing with Nabiki, he could easily see her being able to fool his 'keen eye', but it was difficult for him to accept Kasumi being duplicitous. Unless, maybe this was NOT Kasumi! He quickly looked for horns, antenna, zippers, or any other tell-tale signs, finding nothing. Figuring out martial arts moves was something at which he excelled, figuring out people, not so much, so he did the only other thing he could think of, he asked. "Okay, I don't usually like ta burden other people with my problems, but, did I do something ta ya, Kasumi-san?"

"Many somethings, is there anything in particular you mean?"

"Lunch."

'Lunch, but I fixed...'

"Are ya mad at me? Did I do something wrong again? If so, I'm sorry, for whatever I did." Ranma's head dropped, along with his voice. "I thought we were friends. I thought ya were one a' th' only people in th' world who kind a' gets me, who ain't actively trying ta make my life harder! I expect that kind a' junk from just about everyone else, but I just ain't never expected it from ya. Was it funny? Did ya get a good laugh thinking about 'scaredy-cat Ranma'? I didn't ask fer any a' this, ya'know? It was all th' old man!"

"Oh my, oh my, oh my, whatdidIdo? WhatdidIdo? What-did-I-do? ...OH MY NO! The cat! Oh, Ranma, I am SO sorry, it was an accident, I never meant... There was a mix-up, and I did not notice, and, and, and, I forgot! I am sorry! I just wasn't thinking!" Kasumi was prostrating herself before Ranma, in a twist from the way he had expected this to go when he started talking.

It wasn't that he expected to be hit, like with Akane, but he rarely had a conversation like this where he did not somehow end up as the 'bad guy', and he was unsure where to go next, but he was fairly certain he had heard one thing in all of that. "So, ya mean, ya didn't mean, it wasn't... Oh my! Well I got ta tell ya, I didn't think much a' it, but ya were right, this 'talking about things' DID make me feel better. Thank ya, Kasumi-san!"

Seeing that Ranma was no longer upset, Kasumi's mood started to return to her usual calm state. "You are very welcome, Ranma-kun. Remember, I am always here if you need to talk. Now, I need to hurry and get tomorrow's kitten-free lunches made and start dinner. I am glad we were able to work through that, thank you for confiding in me, and I promise you, that will never happen again!" Kasumi stood, as she turned to head back to the kitchen.

"Hey, Kasumi-san?"

"Yes, Ranma-kun?"

"Can I help ya, ya know, with dinner, after I wash up? Yer running late 'cuzza me, so it's only right." He also considered that changing his perspective might help him think of a new way to look at his problem.

"That is very sweet of you, the bath is ready for you now, and I will see you soon after. Thank you very much, Ranma-kun." Kasumi turned and walked from the dojo, humming a tune with a fresh smile on her lips.

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Ranma cautiously opened his lunchbox, half curious, and half almost dreading what he might find within. He was not only pleasantly surprised by what he saw, he was quite impressed. The little arrangement of foods in the rice really looked like him, punching at nothing, like a move in a kata. Now that he thought about it, the cat in the one the day before was rather well done, not that he was paying attention to that at the time. It had caught him so off guard that he just leapt into the air, like the things he so feared. Normally just seeing a drawing of a cat, would never be enough to set him off, but it had truly be the last thing he had expected to see, and he was a bit distracting by Ukyo and Shampoo fighting, so he might have 'overreacted' a bit.

He was not exactly used to receiving an overly decorated bento, he knew the girls' lunches were fancier, he had seen Akane's enough times, but he assumed Kasumi knew that he did not really care what it 'looked' liked. Besides, why would anyone go to the trouble for just a freeloader? He was happy just to have regular meals, and the fact that it was Kasumi's cooking just made it all the better! It was already extra work making his lunch ...and all of the other stuff she does because of them, there was no sense in making more work for her than was necessary...

Wait, why WAS it necessary? While he did not really feel bad about freeloading off of Soun, due to the way the two men were always pushing him around, or really even Nabiki or Akane, for much the same reasons, since they were compensated for their inconvenience. He was being forced to fulfill Soun's dreams, he kept having to solve most of Akane's problems, among other things, and he knew Nabiki made a lot of money off of him, but Kasumi was saddled with all of the extra work no one else would do, and never got anything for it, she was rarely even thanked!

Chalk up one more debt that had been forced upon him, and it was one of the ones he felt bad about too... Kasumi did not deserve that, it was not fair to her, and that was something he felt was relatable to him. He was not exactly sure what her day entailed, but he could say that he almost never saw the young woman when she was 'not' working! Maybe he could incorporate helping her as part of his training, he would have to see if he could think of some things, most of the family would be gone for part of the weekend, maybe he could quietly follow her around and figure out a plan.

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Humming along, Kasumi allowed her hands to run on autopilot as they carefully hung the laundry on the line to dry as she enjoyed being outdoors. The bright sun, the fresh air, the birds and crickets chirping, the koi splashing in the pond, and watching Ranma as he seemed to be practicing ...something. It was a beautiful day, and she was glad to be alive.

She had been trying to follow his movements, but the young man was just too fast. From what she could tell, he was throwing pebbles into the air, where there would vanish and reappear in a pile near him. She was not sure exactly what was going on, but to be able to neatly stack that many small, marble sized rocks, she thought was fairly impressive by itself, no matter what else might have been happening. She even found herself few extra things that needed to be done in the yard to keep her occupied for some time, all the while observing the activities of the young martial artist. She had not really figured out what his goal had been, but she felt certain that the stack of pebbles had been gradually growing.

Something had occurred to her, and she ran off, only to return a moment later with a cup. "Ranma-kun, you have been out here for an awful long time, and I thought you could use something to drink."

"Thanks, Kasumi-san! Now that ya mention it, I am kind a' thirsty." He was not certain what it was, but it certainly hit the spot, like his body had been praising him for giving it what it needed. "That's really good, what is it?"

"Kelp tea, you have been out here glist- ...um, 'perspiring' with your training, and so it is essential to replenish your sodium supplies, it just would not do to let your body get weak, not when you are trying so hard to get stronger..."

"I-" Ranma could only stand there for a moment, amazed at the idea that something so simple could help with his training, yet there was no denying that he did feel better. "Really? I had no idea, but then, we never really had much money fer anything, even food, tea was almost always out a' th' question. 'Water's good enough for you, boy!' Th' only time I usually got tea was when we ate at a restaurant, an' I didn't figure out until much later that part a' our 'training exercise' there, had been running out on th' bill!" Ranma sighed, not wanting to think about some of the things his father had passed off as training... "But, this is actually speed training, so it ain't ta 'make me stronger', exactly, but it should make me harder ta beat!"

"How would that work exactly? I am not sure I understand how stacking rocks will help exactly, what are you doing here?"

"Well, 'what' I'm doing is not really th' important part, what matters is I gave myself a time limit, an' I need ta steadily make myself do more in that amount a' time. What I'm doing here, is throwing all a' these rocks inta th' air, an' trying ta stack 'em before any a' 'em hit th' ground. That's my time limit, an' I just keep adding more rocks ta make it harder, an' make myself move faster, but ya can do it with anything. I think that Kirin guy used th' rice in that bowl in about th' same way, er somethin' like that... I mean, I never saw th' training method, so I'm just guessin' really."

"Sugoi! So, you are trying to learn that move that the prince was doing?"

"Well not exactly, it's not th' exact move I am trying ta do, I'm just trying ta get faster, so I can counter that attack without havin' ta use somethin' like that water again. Ya can't count on it, an' I may have ta resort ta stuff like that when I get in a tight spot, but it's only 'cause I don't got time ta train right. Part a' 'Anything Goes' is ta do whatever ya gotta ta win the fight, especially if something er someone is ridin' on it, but it ain't always pretty, an' I don't like doin' stuff like that ...if I can help it." Ranma's shoulders slumped. "If I'd been faster, ya wouldn't a' had ta go through all that! Could a' stopped that 'before' ya got taken." Ranma's battle aura flared to life again, as he gathered his stones while adding more to his armload. "Gotta keep trainin'!" Throwing the armload of rocks into the air, Ranma's arms blurred into action, plucking them out of the air and piling them up on the side.

"It is okay Ranma-kun, you do not have to push yourself like this, it all worked out."

"Yeah, 'cause I figured out a cheap way ta win!"

"You act like you cheated, but Ranma-kun, what you did, with the water, took great skill and creativity. Most people could never have done that, even if they 'had' thought of it. I do not wish to discourage you from training, but you should enjoy it, this gloom cannot be good for you, and it certainly does not suit you. Do not sell yourself short, Ranma-kun, you are an amazing young man, I am sure you can accomplish whatever you put your mind toward doing. Good luck, Ranma-kun. I need to go start making food, but your bath will be ready for you when you are." Picking up the empty cup, Kasumi ran back into the house, planning to make their school lunches and then dinner.

What she had not noticed, was that Ranma had been carefully observing her activities as well, and he had done his best to avoid being seen as he followed Kasumi back into the house, watching from the shadows ...and ceiling! All the while, making mental notes about Kasumi's daily routine, before sneaking off to take his bath. 'That was a close one! What was that about anyway? Was I spotted?'

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Once the lunches were made 'correctly' and loaded into the freezer for the next day, she found that she had a bit of time left before she needed to start dinner, and Kasumi quickly glanced around the room. Not seeing anyone, she peeked out into the hallway to be certain. Feeling safely alone, she walked over and picked up three mikan, looking them over in her hands for a moment before throwing them into the air!

When she looked up to catch them, she had thought she saw a blur of movement out of the corner of her eye, but ignored it in favor of the more immediate falling fruit. She had managed to catch two of them, but the third had bounced off of her forehead, eliciting a small yelp and brought a blush to her cheeks, feeling rather silly about the whole thing.

As she picked up the lightly bruised citrus, she heard a boisterous laughter coming from the hallway. Sighing, Kasumi resigned herself to the interrogation that was sure to follow. "Did you need something, Nabiki-chan?"

Having a difficult time catching her breath, Nabiki took a moment to respond. "Not really, I was just passing by, and heard a noise... What was THAT all about, anyway? Are you trying to learn to juggle?"

"Oh my, no, it was just ...Ranma-kun makes it look so easy!"

"Training, are you?" Nabiki raised an eyebrow at this, but chose not to inquire on it further. "Warn me next time, I'll get my camera first! Wish I had a video camera..." She kept laughing as she walked away. "Please, just don't try it with anything sharp!"

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As usual, Nabiki arrived at their school as early as she could manage, it was always good to get an early start, that was when some of the best information could be found, and the 'best' information, could be sold at the 'best' prices. On her way to meet up with some of her usual contacts, she saw something somewhat unexpected, an adult Hinako-sensei was walking out of the office. No one had seen the teacher since she had left with Ranma for China to save her sister, so this was big news! Since one does not collect good eavesdropped information if one is seen, she ducked behind the wall just as Hinako turned back to face the interior. Nabiki could not hear what their principal was saying, but she listened to what she had been able to catch.

"I assure you that this absence was completely necessary."

"Yes, thank you principal."

"I have a plan that could take care of the Saotome-kun problem, once and for all..." Hinako's bow seemed strangely out of place to Nabiki, but her last comment stuck her as more immediate. She needed to find out what this plan was, how it affected Ranma, herself, and how to best profit from it, after all, he was a very important ...source of income to her. Once Hinako had left, she snuck over to peep into the office, and saw their deflated principal, 'napping' on his desk.

Judging by the known relationship between the two, she doubted the English teacher had shared her plan, unless she had needed the insane man's aid, and that seemed unlikely, especially in light of his current state, so she hurried off to gather what she could, adjust the odds, and dispatch people to follow the disciplinarian around campus. Not necessarily in that order...

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That was all I could get done this time, but I thought that was a good stopping point. Hopefully I will have more of it checked for you soon.


	4. Chapter 4

Welcome back to Guardian One-Half, you should know how this goes by now... so, here's the story.

Chapter 04 The Return of the Disciplinarian

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Ranma's recent intensified training had been doing a good job keeping him out of Akane's sight, especially while sneaking around trying to help Kasumi. It seemed the less time they spent around each other, the better they got along, and he was not going to complain about that! So, it was while in an unusually light mood that he ran into Hinako, who was still in adult form from her 'talk' with the principal, waiting for him in front of the school.

"Saotome-kun, if you would follow me, I need to speak with you before class."

Ranma's shoulders slumped as he waited for the expected outburst, which bewildered him with its mildness. "What'd you do this time, Baka? I knew I should be keeping a better eye on you."

"I didn't do nuthin'!"

"Yeah, right! I'm sure you deserve it anyway." Akane turned, walking toward the building with almost a skip in her step, happy to not have to deal with either of the most hated men in her life, since Kuno did not seem to be around anywhere either. "See you in class, Baka." It was turning out to be a good day!

Hinako waited until they arrived in the empty teacher's lounge before speaking, and Ranma's mood did not improve in that time. She leaned back on the desk in an unconscious pose that would have driven most of the male students crazy with lust. ...Ranma barely noticed. "I have to ask, DID you 'do' anything?"

Ranma let out an exasperated sigh. "A' course not! Unless ya count trainin' 'til late."

"This is happens everyday?"

"Naw, I didn't get pounded, or accused of molestin' ya, er nuthin'. It was really weird. Akane's been in a good mood lately."

"That's not exactly what I meant, but that does basically answer my question..." Hinako's eyes went to the floor as she sighed, feeling like a failure.

"What's up, Sensei? Ya been doin' okay since ya left? I was wonderin' what happened ta ya?" She was not acting as he expected, instead of yelling at him, she was speaking quietly ...it was making him worry.

"I needed to look into a few things."

"Didja find whatcha needed?"

"Some of it, I will keep looking though."

"Good, well, if I can help..." Ranma mentally kicked himself, having to take care of her as a child had taken its toll on him. His instincts to help managed to beat his intellect to the punch, reminding him how that always got him into trouble.

"Actually, you can, that's is why I brought you here..."

Ranma was feeling a bit of apprehension creeping into his mind. "I can? Whatter ya lookin' fer? Something with th' art, er th' old man?"

"You."

"Um ...wait-a-minute! I gotta 'nuff problems with th' iinazuke I already got! I don't need no more!"

"Really? Most boys your age..." Hinako gazed deeply into his eyes, searching for the typical desire she saw in most men, and no longer surprised to not find it there. "But, no, Saotome-kun, that is not what I had in mind at all, I was looking into your records, and I was hoping you might be able answer a few questions I had about the ...gaps."

"Yer looking inta ...my life? Ain't sure I like where this's goin', an' it sure feels like th' others..."

"No, you don't understand, I am trying to help you."

"Yeah, yeah, just like always, ya an' everybody else! Always tellin' me what's best fer me, what I got ta do, how I should live my life! No offense teach, but that really ain't none-a yer business!"

"Actually, it is. As your homeroom teacher, it is my job to help you become a productive member of society!"

"Yer not winnin' any points here..."

"I am sorry, Saotome-kun, I am not here to try and tell you what to do today, I just want to talk. Maybe we can start by you telling me what YOU want out of life..."

"What I want? I want ta be th' best!"

"Is that all? The best at what?"

Ranma recovered from his facefault quickly... "How long ya been at this school? Th' best martial artist, a' course! What else is there?"

"Has it really only been a few months? It feels like so much longer... I feel like we have known each other my whole life, but that could be a result of my recent 'memory lapse'..."

"Yer askin' me?"

"No, no, of course not..."

"Hey!"

"No, I just did not... never mind, that is not important..."

"Ya call me 'stupid' an' now ya just try ta brush it off?"

"No, Saotome-kun, you may not have had a balanced education, but you are 'not' stupid. I saw that much last week. What is important here is 'my' mistake. A chain is only as good as its weakest link, and a career is only as good as its biggest failure. You Saotome-kun, are mine. I allowed others to convince me that my instincts were wrong, and due to which, I targeted you as the school's biggest delinquent, allowing the real culprits to remain unpunished. If you will allow me, I would like to help you."

"Yer gonna do what yer gonna do, I can't stop ya, but I can tell ya, this ain't gonna go well. Anything ya do'll just make it worse."

"Now who is belittling people?"

"It ain't 'cause a' ya, it's 'cause my life is just 'that' messed up."

"Do you think that I do not understand that? My life is not exactly 'normal' either." As if right on cue, her body shrunk, requiring her to readjust the oversized shirt that almost passed for a dress on her now much smaller frame. "See? Believe me, I know how complicated life can be. Just think it over, 'kay?" Little Hinako winked, before heading toward the door. "Now, let's get to class so we can learn lots!"

Opening the door, they saw several students who had been eavesdropping at the door, but took off running when they heard the door opening. Ranma just shook his head, knowing how the rumor mill worked about there, while at the same time aware that there was nothing he could do to prevent it from spreading, so he hung his head, and simply walked to homeroom, practically dragging his feet as he slowly followed the now shorter woman.

Hinako gave chase to the students, yelling after them, and brandishing a five yen coin. "Come back here and be punished, you baaad kids!"

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Before leaving English class later that day, Hinako walked up to Ranma's desk. "Have you given any thought to my offer?"

Glancing at Akane's dark-red aura, Ranma quickly covered his movements. "Yeah, I think I'm gonna have ta say 'no', thanks anyway..." 'Not that it will stop people from tryin' ta beat me up over it, or this even...'

"I cannot say I am not disappointed, but I will keep trying." Still charged up from a rowdy student who had been whispering in class, she swayed her hips as she slowly walked out of the room, and toward her next class. As soon as the door closed behind her, the students exploded in new talks about Ranma and the teacher, and how they were flirting, right there in class, in front of Akane and everyone!

Seeing Ukyo now joining Akane in a raging aura and giving him dirty looks, Ranma buried his face in his arms and wished Hinako would find a better way to word things. It was going to be a 'very' long day.

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Rumors of Hinako and Ranma's 'amorous activities' circulated quickly that day, starting with Ranma giving her the 'it's not you, it's me' speech, and by the end of the day, people were saying that she had been begging him to 'touch her pressure points again' and more...

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He had tried to explain, repeatedly, to anyone who would listen, that Hinako-sensei had only been talking about 'tutoring', and that he was not going to 'do it' anyway, furthermore, as expected, those few who would listen, would not believe him anyway, some going so far as to twist his words back on him. Even Ukyo had been giving him disappointed looks all day and she was supposed to be 'the nice one', his best friend! He supposed, considering the rest of the reactions he had gotten over the day, that still held true, but would it kill any of them to just 'believe' him for once? They were supposed to be his iinazuke, and yet they never seemed to see his side either. He knew that was an exaggeration, but could not help but to feel like it was him against the whole world some days, as if he could look into the sky on a clear day and say 'the sky was blue' and everyone would still argue with him. The universe itself would even typically choose that moment to dump a storm cloud on him, and today was no exception.

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"Tadaima!"

"Okaeri nasai, Ranma-kun, isn't the weather lovely today?"

Ranma-onna replied with a deadpanned expression. "Yep, great, as long as ya don't stand anywhere near Ranma Saotome."

"Oh my, how did you get all wet?"

"Oh, ya know how it is, yer just walkin' down the street, an' a storm cloud appears over yer head, dumps a few decaliters of water on ya head and disappears..." The look on Kasumi's face told Ranma that she did not, in fact, know what that was like. "What? That don't happen ta everyone? I thought it was just a Nerima thing..." 'I guess the universe really IS against me!'

"I have not prepared the bath yet, I did not expect you to need one this soon. Gomenasai, Ranma-kun. Would you like me to heat you some water in a kettle?"

"Thanks, but don't bother. Fer th' training I wanna do today, this'll probably make it easier." 'Don't like doin' that stuff as a guy anyway.'

"Well, okay then." Without really knowing why, Kasumi felt a twinge of disappointment, but pressed on. "I have not seen you doing your training as much lately, is everything going well?"

"More er less."

"Well, that is good. If there is anything I can do to help, please, let me know."

"Yer already a huge help, actually, this training would be impossible if ya weren't here."

She was not sure what she could be doing, but she was incredibly happy that she could be useful. She only wished she knew what it was so she could do more of it. "Well then, if there is nothing I can DO, then just let me know if you need me."

"Don't ya worry 'bout me, Kasumi-san, just do what ya always do. I'll see ya later." Ranma disappeared into the house, leaving a confused, yet content Kasumi at the bottom of the stairs.

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Ranma had been secretly following Kasumi around the house for the second day, and when he felt sure he knew what she had intended to do, he would use his speed to attempt to finish the job while her back was turned. He was still learning what needed to be done, and how, but thinking about the chores like a kata made it easy for him to memorize before long. He felt he was making some progress, and it made him happy that he had been able to assist her with several tasks that day. Some of the chores she had done were not the same as the day before, so he conjectured that it could take him a while to see the full repertoire of Kasumi's 'moves'.

Adding in the stealth aspect to his training had turned it into a sort of game for him, and he was finding it quite enjoyable. It would be easier if he knew a way to actually turn invisible, he had heard tales of such techniques, but he had never quite figured it out, something like a ki cloak perhaps...? However, for now, trying to move quickly, silently, and always out of Kasumi's sight was making training fun again, something he had been missing for a while now.

There had been a few times he had almost given himself away by laughing at the puzzled look on her face, even if it had not been easy to see from his position on the ceiling. He had thought for sure he would have been caught when the light chuckle escaped his lips, and he had to scurry to the other side of the room before she had glanced in his direction. It had been a close call.

It had made him a bit more cautious, and he would occasionally do some things while he knew Kasumi would be in another room for a while, such as while making their lunches. This caused him one other narrow escape, where he had to leap out of the window and onto the roof, as Akane had entered the furo to use the bath after her workout, but otherwise, it had had been reasonably uneventful, and he hoped, 'productive' training.

After his close shave, he had gone off to find Kasumi and her next task, but she seemed to be searching for something, and he had no idea what it could be. He was not sure if she were looking for an object, or if she were searching for her next project, but either way, she seemed to be fretting, making Ranma wish he knew what she needed. It was not until she mumbled under her breath, "Where are you hiding, Ranma-kun? Come out, come out, wherever you are...", that he had his answer.

Smiling broadly, Ranma silently stepped up behind, and lightly tapped her shoulder. "Did ya need me, Kasumi-san?"

Jumping away, the young homemaker let out a small squeak. "EEEK! Ranma-kun! How, where, when? Oh my!"

Not wanting to let her hit the ground, Ranma had to jump in and catch her as Kasumi spun and fainted. "Kasumi-san, oi, ya all right?" Ranma ran inside, to lay Kasumi down on the couch and get her a cool towel, but he did not even get halfway through his plane before he was interrupted.

"Well hello, Stud, you really 'do' work fast, I have to admit. Both Hinako-sensei and Onee-chan in the same day? Impressive. I didn't really think you had it in you when those rumors started this morning, but it seems I might have been mistaken..."

Ranma wanted to wave his arms in protest, but luckily he was conscious enough of the woman in his arms to realize he would need to set her down first. As he turned to gently deposit Kasumi on the sofa, they heard her softly whisper, "Ranma-kun ...oh my."

Their eyes both went wide, as Ranma tried to pry Kasumi's arm from around his neck, and escape. "Okay, you have piqued my curiosity... What HAVE you been up to? Thanks to your being 'hot for teacher', Akane-chan is in such a mood, that I might be able to buy you back again... Where are you Akane-chan?"

"Sorry, Kasumi-san." Ranma carefully placed her on the love seat, and bolted for the backdoor.

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Dinner had been a noisy affair, between Nabiki trying to explain why she should be allowed to buy Ranma, and Akane loudly explaining that she did not care, she might not want Ranma, but no one else should have him either. Ranma's ego was occasionally stoked when women fought over him, but this was not one of those times, he just wanted 'out'. While no one was looking, Ranma finished his plate, and snuck away, silently thanking Kasumi for the food.

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Kasumi had been having one of the strangest days of her life, and this included the recent kidnapping! On top of the trouble she had been having finding Ranma, which prevented her from watching the boy working out while doing some of her chores that day, she thought things had been getting done without her, and then there was that mysterious laugh...! She was starting to think that their home had picked up a guardian spirit ...or she was going crazy. She hoped it was a spirit.

Kasumi came to a conclusion, if Ranma did not have the time to teach her, then she would try to learn by example, and for some reason, she had a bit of free time that afternoon. The only problem with this strategy was that since she had made her decision, Ranma had been surprisingly difficult to track down. She usually had few problems locating the young man, especially while he was training, but now that she had the extra time, he was never where she thought. She supposed that was just the way these things went some days...

Now that their dinner dishes were put away, the bath tub was filled, and their night clothes had been laid out for them, Kasumi set out in search of her inadvertent instructor. She found him going through a high-speed kata in the dojo. 'If only you had been this easy to find earlier. Although, I DID have that nice nap, which was nice...'

Kasumi quickly sat in the corner, silently observing their houseguest as he shifted from one move into the next. For the most part, Ranma had been moving far to quickly for her to see clearly, although every so often, he would come into focus. For some reason, she felt as if he had not slowed for those moments, and yet, he 'must' have done so, after all, she was able to see him clearly. What other reason could there have been?

After watching for some time, she felt as though she had a tiny portion of the kata memorized, it did seem to be a short one that he was repeating frequently, so even not seeing it well, she felt as if she knew the correct positions. Staying well out of Ranma's way, Kasumi worked her way through the first form she had performed in a very long time.

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Ranma was impressed with himself, his new training seemed to be paying off, he had managed to execute a few extra repetitions over his usual average. Happy with his progress he slowed his movements, going into a 'cool down' process, when he saw something that would have caused him to facefault, had he not been carefully controlling his movements, as it was, he only stumbled. Kasumi was performing a reasonable imitation of his form.

Unable to help himself, Ranma adjusted her hand, or body position at a few points. "Okay, better, focus yer punch... an' kick." Ranma averted his eyes, blushing. "Maybe if yer gonna do this, we should git ya a dogi..."

Kasumi realized what Ranma had meant, and held her skirt down, blushing as well. "Oh my. I had not considered that, thank you again, Ranma-kun. I will have to see about that for next time."

"Next time?"

"Well I seemed to have finished a bit early today, and I, I, did wish to train more..."

"Ya know, Kasumi-san, I don't really think that style suits ya. That kata is from what we call a 'hard' style, it don't fit ya at all. Yer more suited to a 'soft' water er air style."

"Well, Ranma-kun, I did ask for your assistance, however you told me that you were too busy, so that is why I am doing what I can. It is not like father ever had time for anyone other than Akane-chan after we lost mother. What would you have of me, should I ask your father, or grandfather Happosai?"

"Urk, NO! Anything but that! Not that th' old fart would teach a real woman, but still, that's the LAST thing ya ought ta do!"

"Why, was grandfather not the one who founded your school? That seems an effective way to learn."

"Yeah, but... That's just not safe fer someone like ya!"

"I suppose you are correct, grandfather's techniques are fairly advanced."

After picking himself up off of the floor, Ranma just stared at Kasumi, unable to tell if she were serious, or joking. "That's not th' point!"

"What is the problem then, Ranma-kun?"

"..." Ranma's jaw just dropped to the floor. "Fine. I'm still in training m'self, and can't be workin' with ya all day..."

"Yes, my days are quite busy most of the time as well."

"Yeah, I know."

"You do?"

"Oh yeah, yer th' hardest workin' person in this household!"

Kasumi was not used to being acknowledged as even being present, never mind for all of the work she did! She was feeling strange, being filled with an unaccustomed emotion, one she had not felt in so long... What was it called again? Appreciation! A tear rolled down her cheek and her heart felt as if it were about to burst.

Seeing the tear, Ranma went into panic alert. "No! Don't cry! Look, I'll do whatever ya want!"

"Really? Thank you Ranma-kun! You have made me very happy!"

"Everyone else is busy 'bout this time, so we can have th' dojo to ourselves, so let's do it then."

"That will be perfect, Ranma-kun. Thank you." And so it was, that Kasumi became Ranma's first real student...

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Nabiki stopped Ranma as he was leaving the dojo, who had been distracted while thinking about what he had gotten himself into after Kasumi had returned to the house. "So, what WAS that all about anyway?"

"All a' what? What did ya hear?"

Getting a sly look on her face, Nabiki leaned in closely, with an accusing finger poking him in the chest. "I came along about the time you made my sister cry..."

"No, I didn't! It's not-!"

Nabiki gave Ranma goo-goo eyes, and her voice took on a sickeningly sweet lilt as she misquoted her sister's earlier words. "...Oh RANMA-kun, you've made me the happiest woman on earth!" Switching back to her accusatory tone, she continued her interrogation. "What did you do, and what should I charge you to keep quiet?"

"Nuthin'! It's just training!"

"Is that what you call 'doing it'?"

"What else would it be called?"

"'Nee-chan, training ...in the art? You expect me to believe that?"

"I don't care what ya believe!"

"Play dumb if you like, but I will find out what is going on, mark my words."

"Come watch if ya want, I ain't doin' nuthin' wrong!"

"Don't think I won't..." 'And I'll have my camera ready! It's your move, lady killer, let's see what you've got...'

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"Tadaima!" Ranma came in, kicking off his shoes, and looking completely disheveled.

Kasumi's voice was even more happy than usual, and the way she popped out of the kitchen almost gave him a flashback to one of Shampoo's patented glomps, something he had already had his fill of for one day, thank you very much, and he flinched. "Okaeri nasai, Ranma-kun! How was your... day?"

"Let's just say, 'I'm glad ta be home, an' that yer th' one greetin' me'..."

"Would you like a snack, a bath, or ...anything?"

"Naw, it's just, everyone's spreadin' rumors 'bout me an' Hinako-sensei, an' then they all get mad about what they tell each other, an' who do they all get mad at?"

"Those who told them the story?"

"I wish! No, they all come running after me! Akane's hittin' me, Ucchan and Shampoo askin' me ta prove I ain't cheatin' on 'em by making me eat a full lunch they each made, after I had already eaten th' best one." Ranma handed over his empty lunch box. "Thanks for that, by th' way." Kasumi beamed with pride as she accepted bento container. "It'd gotten so bad, by th' end a' th' day, it seemed like half a' th' school was chasin' me fer one reason er another... If this gets any worse, I may have ta go on a trainin' journey 'til this all blows over."

Genma's voice chimed in from the other room. "That's my boy!"

If his father approved, perhaps he ought to rethink that course of action. "...Er maybe not."

"Would you like me to make you some nice mint tea, and you can tell onee-san all about it?"

"Naw, I don't really wanna talk 'bout it, just gonna go get cleaned up and start my training. But, hey, Kasumi-san, thanks. It's nice ta know not everyone's out ta git me ...at least on some things."

"Oh, but Ranma-kun, I am never out to get you! I am always on your side!"

"'Cept when Akane's involved, maybe."

"But, Ranma-kun, I only want to help you there, as well!"

"I know, but I'm always gettin' pounded, a lota times, fer stuff I didn't even do, an' yer there sayin' I'm th' one should apologize. That might be th' fastest way ta git things back ta 'normal', but it sure don't feel right."

"But, it is not, I mean, I... oh my."

"Hey, don't feel bad, I probably said too much. I know ya mean well, yer still the nicest person I know, by a long shot. See ya later, Kasumi-san, an' thanks again."

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Ranma had given her a lot to think about, had she been unfair to him? She could not be certain. She would have to pay more attention, making sure she was fully aware of the situation before acting from now on. She had always worked under the impression that everyone saw things from their own 'best' perspective, and that the truth was usually somewhere in the middle. While she still felt that was a good general rule of thumb, there was a chance that it might not be true all of the time. The alternative though, was to take sides, and that was something she hated to do. Taking sides meant that someone had to go away unhappy, and yet, she was starting to get the idea that not everybody was nearly as happy as she had presumed, and that very idea had her flustered.

'How could anyone not be happy?' The concept was so completely opposed to her nature, that it almost made her head hurt trying to think about it. Oh sure, there were moments for her, but everything always went back to 'normal' soon after. Everyone had those moments, even she had them, such as when she found out about uncle Genma taking Ranma to Jusenkyo without reading the pamphlet, or when she learned about the cat-fist training, or...

It seemed that most of her recent 'unhappy' moments were inspired by uncle Genma, and she had not even known the man a year. She paused in her thoughts, completely failing to notice the work being done around her by hands moving so quickly, they were almost impossible to detect, and wondered what life had to be like for Ranma growing up with that man as his only companion.

Kasumi had another 'less than happy' moment in her life.

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Ranma saw Kasumi's mood darken, and panicked, thinking he caused it. 'Saotome Final Attack: RUN AWAY!' He ran to the kitchen to start the dinner preparation, at least THAT he could do safely ...he would probably never touch that particular knickknack ever again.

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For someone who spent so much of her time trying to help people, Kasumi had never really attempted to see life through their eyes before. She always just tried to eliminate what she saw as the cause of the conflict, and get everything back to 'normal' as quickly as possible. She rarely ever considered anything beyond that, and this chance realization had caused her a bit of an epiphany. 'Could it be, that just stopping the fighting, doesn't actually solve the conflict? It had always worked in the past, it had always kept everything quiet and peaceful, just the way I liked it, and... Oh my! I've been so selfish!'

Kasumi decided that maybe a book on psychology could hold the answers she needed, and decided that since she had found herself with some extra time again that day, she would walk to the library and check out a book or two. As she approached the entryway, she heard a voice shouting from outside.

"Where is that baka? Spending all day flirting with the teachers, and every other girl that comes near, it's no wonder that guy's grades are so bad...!"

Kasumi greeted Akane as she entered the house with a, "Tadaima!".

"Okaeri, Akane-chan, how was your day?"

"Oh, hi Onee-chan, Nabiki-onee-chan'll be late, had work to do, have you seen Ranma?"

"Not in a while, no, probably still training somewhere. I need to go out, if anyone asks, I will be back as soon as I am able."

"Okay, Onee-chan." Looking at the clock, Akane got excited, thinking she might get a chance to make dinner in her sister's stead. As soon as Kasumi had closed the front door, she made a break for the kitchen to see what she could do.

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Ranma heard Akane coming, and quickly took to the ceiling, vanishing from her line of sight, just hoping that, like most people, she would not look up.

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Akane was so disappointed to see that everything was mostly ready, that she failed to see the knife, that was standing straight up in the cutting-board, and still vibrating from where it had fallen. Her discouragement fueled her frustration and she stormed off, resuming her quest to find her wayward iinazuke.

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Making sure the coast was clear, Ranma lightly dropped back down, doubly relieved, he resumed his preparation. Not only was he NOT caught, but he saved them all from having Akane make what she would mistakenly call ...'dinner'! It was the highlight in an otherwise dark day, which should show just how bad a day it had actually been.

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Kasumi had checked several books out of the library, she was looking forward to studying them, but first she needed to hurry back home to prepare dinner. She had gotten distracted in the enjoyment of information and lost track of time, if she did not arrive soon ...well, she did not want to think about what could happen. She loved her sister, but she grieved for her poor kitchen as she poured on the extra speed, clutching her bag to her chest.

She kicked off her shoes, grabbed her slippers with a, "Tadaima", as she heard sounds coming from the kitchen and panicked! When a panting Kasumi poked her head into her kitchen, she saw no one, what she DID see had her quite concerned though. An entire meal was laid before her, and behind all of that were three basic bento, not quite ready to wrap.

She was too relieved not seeing Akane to even deny the fact, but not seeing anyone else was problematic as well. She was, after all, certain that she had heard sounds coming from in there only seconds before. Walking in the room, after seeing that the room did not appear as if her youngest sister had been involved in the preparation, was that a knife was out of place ...and the handle was still warm.

For reasons she could not understand, other than her youngest sister, no one else in their household ever seemed to have any interest in preparing meals, so if it had not been Akane, she was not sure what was happening. If it was not anyone in the house, who could it have been? Then she remembered the short, quiet laughter she had heard the day before, making her wonder.

She examined the food in great detail, looking every bit of it over, smelling the aromas, and finally sampling each of the dishes. Most of them were passable at worst, but several were outstanding, and the main dish particularly stood out to her. There was something unique about it, something familiar, and she had to go back and taste it a second time, savoring every moment of it.

It took her a moment, but she finally pinpointed what stood out to her. "Oh my."

She remembered that flavor, it was one that had stuck with her for most of her life, and always gave her pleasant memories, like when she had made it the other day. There was only one other person who knew that particular twist on that recipe, the person who had taught it to her. It was a western seasoning, one that was not common in Japan, so to find someone who not only knew it, but to use it in that dish? She had never heard of anyone else doing that!

There was only one explanation that made any sense to her, so she knelt down and offered a short prayer, thanking her mother for everything she had done for them, including helping her over the last few days.

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Kasumi entered the dojo a bit earlier than they had agreed, having had extra time, thanks to her dinner dishes being washed more quickly than usual, which was odd, considering there were more dishes used for the fancy meal they had enjoyed. Once the dishes were done, Kasumi ran to change, and had hurried out there. Bowing as she entered, she walked to the shrine to their mother, leaving an offering and a short prayer, wishing her peace and thanking her again for always watching out for them.

Finishing her prayer, she turned to see Ranma kneeling beside her, also paying his respects. "Oh my! Ranma-kun! You surprised me! Do you normally honor our little shrine like this?"

"When I can, it's only right, but you know pops..."

"Perhaps not as well as I should..."

"Well, th' guy ain't complicated, just stupid an' short-sighted... Oh, an' did I mention lazy, an'...?"

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Genma and Soun were playing shogi when, out of the blue, Genma sneezed, knocking several pieces from the board. "Someone must be talking about me, eh Tendo-kun? Do you think it is a pretty young girl?"

"Could be, Saotome-kun! ...Haha! That's a good one..."

Nabiki poked her head in the room, having to add her two yen worth to the conversation. "If so, then I am sure they are not saying anything good!"

The large man grimaced as his friend laughed. As they were picking up the fallen pieces, the two men argued over which piece went where.

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"There are reasons I came to you with my request, you are much more pleasant company for starters."

"Same here, Kasumi-san, yer much nicer than Oyaji. It would have been nice ta have someone like ya on our trip, but I wouldn't wish that on anyone, especially someone nice as ya." Ranma shivered, picturing Kasumi having been along on their trip, at first it had been nice, but then the training began, and he thought of Kasumi being beside him as he was thrown into the pits of starving cats, as they ran from villagers, as his farther threw him over that cliff, and the other things he had been forced to endure. "No, it's a really good thing no one else was there... bad enough I had ta be there myself."

"Oh, Ranma-kun..." She wanted to take the boy into her bosom, and comfort him, her every instinct screamed at her to take action. However, Ranma saw the look of pity in her eyes, and held her at bay.

"Naw, don't go there... My life mostly sucked and whatever, but I owe a lot a what I am ta it. Are there things I would like ta change? 'Course, lots, but I can't. Alls I can do is try ta fix what I can, an try 'n' do better. I may not have a lot a' luck, but alls we can do is go forward. Look, sorry ta dump on ya..."

"No, it's fine, Ranma-kun, you ...that is a very mature way to look at things."

"'Ya can't change th' past', one a th' few wise things th' old panda ever said. A' course Oyaji was talking about not returning stolen food, that'd already been eaten, but th' point's good, even if pops ain't."

"Oh my. Well, you turned out pretty well, in spite of that."

"Yeah, well, sometimes ya can learn more from a bad example than a good one..."

Thinking about many of the mistakes she had seen Ranma make so far, especially with Akane, she saw the truth in that. "Yes, learning from one's mistakes is very important."

Ranma smiled. "Like yer new outfit? Where'd ya get that one? I don't remember seein' it before." He indicated the pastel blue gi, with a pink sash and trim that she was wearing.

Kasumi blushed, remembering the night before. While she was certain that Ranma had seen her panties hanging from the clothesline before, that was not the same as being flashed while she was trying to kick. "You 'did' suggest it, and I conceded your point, so I made it last night! Do you like it?"

While Ranma had to admit that it was strange to see Kasumi in anything other than her usual housedresses, it suited her quite well. "You made it ...last night? Sugoi!" Ranma thought back on the few things he had seen Akane make, and he marveled at the differences between the two sisters. "It's a bit unusual color, but looks good on you."

Kasumi got a bit flustered, worried that he disapproved. "Well, you have your Chinese clothes, and your father has a white one, my father's is light brown, Akane wears a yellow one, and it IS 'anything goes', so..."

"Hey, it might be a bit hard ta keep clean, but you'd probably knew that better'n me, huh?"

The two shared a laugh, and Kasumi started to get excited about all of the new things she would be learning. "So, Ranma-kun, what style will you be teaching me?"

"Breathing."

"What, do you mean, blowing someone over with a super breath?"

"What do you think we are, super heroes?"

"Pretty much."

Ranma's hand went to the back of his neck, it was now his turn to blush. "Well, I guess I AM pretty good... but anythin' like that'd be a very advanced technique. No, I mean just regular, old breathin'. Like all things, in order ta build a martial artist, you need a good foundation. Ya gotta learn th' basics first."

"Oooooh, like you can't make a soup, if you don't know how to boil water?"

"Yeah, exactly! Th' foundation a' th' martial arts is yer breath. Breathing brings energy inta our bodies, an' gits rid a' th' bad stuff. If ya want ta get anywhere in th' art er meditation, ya need good breath control."

"But breathing just happens, doesn't it? You don't have to 'control' it, do you?"

"No, ya don't have ta, it's so important ta life, that ya can't not do it. But th' point a' th' art, is ta be able ta control yer body, not th' other way 'round, an' do things that other people think 're impossible. How ya think we can do that? We control every aspect a' our bodies, an' it all stars with our breath?" Seeing the light click on in her eyes, he continued. "Okay, sit here, an' close yer eyes, good. Now hold yer hands here, good. Straighten yer back. Perfect. Now breathe as deeply as ya can, an' hold it..."

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"Wow Ranma-kun, I never thought sitting in one place breathing could be so ...exhausting."

"I'm sorry, Kasumi-san, just tell me if it gets ta be too much."

"Oh no, it was fine, but I do look forward to sleeping tonight." Kasumi's smile warmed Ranma, making him feel even better about their progress.

"Yer always gettin' up sooner than th' rest a us, so ya go first, I'll clean up down here. Okay?"

"Thank you Ranma-kun, I will not take a long bath, just give me about fifteen minutes. I will let you know when I am finished."

"Thanks Kasumi-san, take yer time, I'll see ya in a few." Ranma started cleaning the dojo, pausing long enough to watch Kasumi bow before hurrying off toward the furo.

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Finishing her bath, Kasumi realized that she might have been in just a bit too much of a hurry, and she did not bring her nightgown with her. She certainly did not want to put her dirty clothes back on, and the only other clothing in the room was also dirty. She peeked out into the hall, hoping to see Ranma, to ask him to go up to her room and bring somethin to her, but saw no one. Still with a towel wrapping her hair, she tied another around her body, and ran into the hall, hoping to make it to her room before anyone came. Luckily, most of the household was asleep anyway.

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Nabiki had been awoken by a strange feeling and a sudden thirst, so had gone to the kitchen for a drink. She had been just about to head back to her room, when she heard the sound of feet running down the hallway and peeked out of the kitchen. Her eyes shot open as wide as they could go, as she saw something that almost made her think she was dreaming. Her big sister, running down the hall, wearing nothing but a towel, collide right into Ranma, who had just turned the corner, having come in from the dojo entrance.

Ranma looked tired and had clearly not been expecting anyone, though he had still managed to spin, and take the fall himself, which caused Kasumi to land on top of him, their arms wrapped around one another. Had it been almost any other girl in Nerima, and she had not just watched it happen, Nabiki would have sworn it looked like she had just jumped Ranma, and was about to start sucking face! She had never wished to have had her camera with her more in her entire life! She needed a 'Sasuke' of her own...

"Oh my! Ranma-kun, I am so sorry, please forgive me! The bath is all yours. Please excuse me, I am sorry, I will be going now..."

Nabiki watched as her sister ran up the stairs, leaving a stunned Ranma on the floor with his hands over his eyes and covered with her towel. This sort of thing was normal for Ranma, but for Kasumi to be involved? Something strange was happening, and she needed to find out what it was.

She was trying to decide if she wanted to confront the confused boy now, or try investigating on her own. Information usually most reliable when those involved do not know you are gathering it, but Ranma was not known for his ability to keep a secret, and he WAS already flustered...

"Hommina-homina-homina..." Ranma was having a hard time shaking off the feeling of Kasumi's bare breasts pressing against his face, and had not yet been able to stand on him own.

Hardly able to resist, Nabiki knelt down, leaning over Ranma's face. "So, what exactly have YOU two been doing? Up this late, playing naked games in the hallway, what ever would Akane-chan say ...or the other girls for that matter?"

That quickly brought Ranma 'mostly' back to his senses, even if he was still blushing like a beacon on a foggy night. "Hey, wa-wait! I didn't do nuthin'! ...Not that I ever do nuthin', but always take th' blame anyway."

"Seems like it was worth it for you though, ne? Most guys would pay through the nose just to get an eye full like that, never mind that kind of extra-special service from someone as beautiful as onee-chan..."

"I didn't do nuthin', I tell ya!"

"You might want to keep your voice down, Stud. You don't want Akane-chan to see you like this, do you?" Still leaning over him, their faces only inches apart. He tried to back away, but she rested her elbow on his chest ...'to help keep her balance'. "There have been a LOT of rumors going around lately about your fickle ways, to have my younger sister tossed over by you, for not only those other girls, but now Hinako-sensei AND onee-chan. You must be something else to have gotten both of them trying to jump your bones like that. What exactly did you do? Some new kind of magic curse? Some magical incense perhaps, or is this a new martial arts technique, with really strange side-effects? Did you get another of those Lady-Killer band-aids? Tell me, Ranma-kun, what did you do?"

"Why does it always have ta be me? I told ya, I didn't do nuthin'!"

"Who else would want to make these older women fall for you?"

"I don't know! Someone who wants ta 'save' Akane from th' 'evil Ranma Saotome', maybe, er one a' th' girls did something that backfired, er th' old fart did somethin' stupid again, who knows? I didn't do nuthin' ta nobody, an' who knows if anythin's goin' on?"

"Something is going on, this sort of thing doesn't happen everyday you know."

"No, it's more like every 'week' er so... Ya know, are ya hangin' this close fer a reason?"

"To make you uncomfortable, is it working?" Nabiki inched closer, she could feel the heat of his breath on her lips, and smiled as she gazed deeply into his eyes. "So what happened? Did you get tired of the girl's your own age? Am I now the next girl on your list?"

"What? No!" Ranma tried to push away and Nabiki lost her balance, falling on top of him, causing their lips to touch. "ACK!" The two of them quickly moved to opposite sides of the hall, Ranma's eyes were darting back and forth, frantically looking for something that would help.

"That was pretty forward of you Saotome-kun. It looks like my hunch was correct, as it usually is. So what were the two of you doing up so late?"

"Just breathin' exercises, it wasn't nuthin'!" Ranma's mind replayed the scene through his brain again, in vivid slow motion, causing him to blush again.

Nabiki did not believe it for a second, the boy looked guilty as could be, and the blush just made it worse. Ranma had the worst 'poker face' of anyone she had ever met. Crawling over to him, she panted heavily, and moaned lightly. "Oh ...yes, Ranma-kun! Heavy breathing exercises, and panting too I am sure... Is this what you meant, Ra-n-ma-ku-n? How about petting, did you do any petting, while breathing? Inquiring minds want to know!"

"Pettin'? Like a dog? I don't... What are ya talkin' about? I jus' wanna take my bath an' go ta bed. Okay?"

"Kinky, but sure, we can talk in there... I will even wash your back for you, no extra charge!" Nabiki smiled, and winked, admittedly curious to see what her younger sister had on that first night, in fact she felt pretty left out on the topic, even Shampoo had seen him naked. She had been able to take some really racy photographs of him, since their arrival, but none quite THAT racy... His girl side tended to sell better anyway, so she tended to mostly focus on that, but never let it be said she let an opportunity pass. Even if most of the girls asked for pictures that focused on his chest or his ...posterior, she knew that many would be too polite or scared to even ask for anything more, so she ought to make that a priority ...for business, all for the business. Yes, exactly, nothing more to it!

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Kasumi had quickly run for her room, closing the door behind her and going straight for her dresser. Pulling out underwear and a nightgown, she went to remove her towel, only to freeze as she came to a realization... A cracking was heard as she felt herself shatter to pieces in embarrassment.

It took several moments before she came back to her senses, and started thinking clearly once again. 'Oh my, it was a good thing no one else saw that! Oh, poor Ranma-kun, no one should have had to see that! ...Maybe I should go back and apologize.' Part of her brain told her that he would likely be in the bath by now and urged her to wait, but another part of her mind was telling her that if she did not hurry, she might miss the chance, and he would have gone to bed already...

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"...or is it just that you would prefer someone else to wash your back, someone like onee-chan perhaps?"

"Of course! You'd use it against me somehow!"

Kasumi had turned the corner and saw her younger sister straddling Ranma, mere centimeters from his face. "Nabiki-chan! What are you doing? That is Akane-chan's iinazuke!"

"Oh, like you are one to talk, at least I kept my clothes on. 'Oh my, I dropped my towel, I hope you do not watch me as I jiggle and run away. Tee Hee.' Besides, I am just playing." Blowing a kiss to Ranma and winking, she turned and walked back up the stairs. "See you later, Hot Stuff. I WILL figure this out, and the harder it is, the more you will pay."

Closing her bedroom door, Nabiki let out the breath she had been holding and her shoulders slumped in exhaustion. 'What is wrong with me? I was enjoying that WAY too much! There is no way I will be able to have one of my girls do this, even if not for the danger from Ranma's 'other girlfriends'... I doubt any of them could resist THAT! Whatever perverted magic was affecting Ranma-kun this time... it was certainly hard to resist!'

Something strange HAD to be going on, she had always found Ranma attractive, for a jock, but the mind was her playground and in that, at least from her perspective, he was sorely lacking. It was true, the boy was not actually stupid, it was just that he never bothered to use what he had for anything other than physical activities, and not of the type she normally enjoyed. She could even see herself dropping what activity she did do, if it were not so critical in maintaining her healthy, 'girlish' figure. While she generally used fear and intimidation to maintain her network and reputation, at least for those not in the higher positions of her network ...mostly. Greed was a good motivator as well, but sometimes it worked too well, and you needed to fall back on other methods. It was always good to have many options.

But even though, through seven degrees of separation, she could quite literally call in favors from most of the town to one extent or another, almost no one else could get in this closely to him and not get killed, no one else could really get the kind of access she had to Ranma, and not be put at risk. Her reputation as the Ice Queen was not just a cool nickname, she had earned that title honestly, which made it somewhat unique among her possessions, and she had been very close to seeing it shatter that night... If SHE had been THAT affected, she could understand why her big sister and that teacher so easily fell for it. Neither could have much resistance, Nabiki could not remember the last time Kasumi had gone on a date, and despite her looks, Hinako-sensei was so desperate for a man, she was after their father!

With her complications, Nabiki figured Hinako would have nothing but problems dating. It didn't matter how sexy her adult form was if she could not maintain it for long, and Ranma was one of the only guys to ever have been able to still fight after being drained, let alone more than once, so she could see the logic. Most of the guys around here were happy to be drained if it meant seeing the adult form of the disciplinarian, but almost none of them would be of any help to her afterward. Not to mention that Ranma is so ignorant about sex, and his body is weird enough, that he could be more understanding about it.

She needed to make plans, gathering more information, and documenting ...evidence, for later, but before that, she had an 'itch' that needed ...scratching. She would go take a cold shower, if not for who else was in there at that particular moment.

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Kasumi's skin had finally returned to a more normal shade for her, and she felt ready to turn and face the boy who had seen her 'disgrace'. "Ranma-kun, I have realized you saw something earlier, because of our little accident, and..."

Ranma was starting to panic, this was usually about the time he started to get beaten... "No! I wasn't lookin', I didn't see nuthin'!"

His blush told her that he was just trying to protect her modesty. "No, Ranma-kun, there is no need to fib. The fact that you still have my towel on you, is enough."

Ranma got down, groveling on the floor. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I wasn't tryin' ta do nuthin'!"

"Oh my, I know Ranma-kun. It was my fault, I showed you a shameful side of myself, and I wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you had to see that." Kasumi bowed deeply to Ranma. "Can you forgive me?"

Ranma did a double take, though, while still on the floor, his head was the only thing moving. "Wait, what? yer not mad at me? What'did I just miss? Where am I?"

"Oh you poor dear, of course I am not mad at you, I am the one at fault, and you are in the hall, outside the kitchen."

"That never stops anyone else, especially Akane... I just don't understand, what's goin' on...?"

"Maybe you should tell me what you think is happening, and we can go from there."

"Well, the same crazy stuff, but it's you an' not Akane, an' now instead a' being hit, ya are sayin' sorry. Otherwise, pretty normal..."

"Really? This kind of thing always happens?"

"Well, it's been a few weeks since th' last time someone flashed me, but pretty much. How much do ya watch what goes on around here?"

"Well, I am just so busy... But, why do you think that I would hit you? Even if I did not abhor violence, you did not do anything wrong."

"That's never stopped nobody before. I know I ain't perfect, but people 'er always tryin' ta kill me fer stuff I didn't do. Kinda like that first week I was here, Akane walked inta th' bath on ME, looked at ME naked, an' screamed, calling me a pervert, an' hit me with a table, when all I did was stand there. I guess I must a' done some bad stuff in a past life."

"Well, the table was for something else..." Kasumi had a difficult time denying that her sister HAD 'overreacted' somewhat.

"Yeah, kinda, but table, statue, does it matter? Next day, there's no sign, I go in, an' boom, I look Akane in the eyes, I get stared up an' down, an' then 'I' get hit. But at least that makes sense, right? Ever since ya guys learned 'bout th' curse, an' forced us inta this mess, we never got along. Ya know?"

Kasumi felt remorseful over her part in forcing the two of them together, even if it had sounded like such a good idea at the time... Ranma was younger than her ideal partner, Nabiki had just wanted a 'toy' to play with, and Akane had that 'problem' with boys, in more ways than one, it just seemed so perfect! They had so much in common, and Ranma certainly appeared as if he had needed someone to be there for him, after all, his father had been SO unbelievably unreliable. She felt that Ranma had needed stability, and Akane was the strongest girl she knew, how could it have gone so wrong? According to all of the romance novels she had read, it had the makings of one of the great classics! It appeared to be so uncomplicated, just like a recipe, you mix in the right ingredients, let cook for the proper time, and presto! She was not sure how it could have gone off-track, but if her romance novels had led her astray, perhaps the psychology books would be of more assistance.

"But, then ya got th' ones that SAY they love me, an' some a' them can be about as bad on some days! Th' only difference is, when they poison me, it's 'cuzza some drug, not lack a' skill. I ain't sure what's worse, ta know it's always gonna be bad, or ta taste good, but always havin' ta worry if it might a' been spiked..."

To see food wasted or used deceptively was something that bothered Kasumi to her core, they had gone hungry too many times for her to abide such carelessness. Before their recent adventure, she had to be creative to stretch the food budget, especially with their three new house guests. It was one of the few things she had against that nice Kuonji girl, and the main reason she did not spend more time attempting to train Akane with her cooking.

Her little sister could be quite energetic, and it was difficult for Kasumi to keep any sort of control over the situation. While she has had to do so on occasion, Kasumi never really felt right punishing her sisters, and they were big girls now, there was only so much discipline they would willingly take from their older sister... Especially when father did not back her up, the man caved on almost everything, except, for some reason, the merging of the schools ...whatever that was about. If it was 'anything goes', then why they could not just learn from each other and share, she did not understand. She figured that there were things about men that would never make any sense to her, at least Ranma was not that bad ALL of the time.

"Akane was one a th' first people ta be nice ta me in a long time, an' now it jus' seems like nuthin' I ever do is good enough ...fer anyone."

Kasumi felt Ranma stiffen as she pulled him into a hug, but she could not resist. "I am sorry Ranma-kun, it seems I have not been paying enough attention. Maybe I can help you figure out what is going wrong. These things are supposed to work out in the end, and I want to help you."

"Really? Hey that's great, 'cause I don' know what ta do no more..."

"It is quite late now, so when we have more free time, come talk to me, so you can tell me more about what led to this point."

"Oi, Kasumi-san, thanks for listenin' ta me. Nobody's ever really done that 'fore, least not without makin' fun a' me er somethin', an' no one ever gives me advice without tryin' ta trick me er nuthin', I know yer probably pushin' fer yer sister, an' I don't blame ya. Who'd wanna be hitched ta a freak like me, ne?"

Kasumi let out a deep sigh, placing her hand on Ranma's shoulder. "Oh Ranma-kun, I told you before, you can always come talk to me, I would never make fun of you! You should not think so little of yourself. Do you not have several girls trying to marry you? You seem to be rather popular to me."

"Not 'cause they wanna be, Shampoo's got those laws, Ucchan's got that whole deal with Pops stealing from them, Kodachi is crazy an' don't know about th' curse so hates me half th' time, an' Akane hates me, most a' th' time..."

"Oh my, now that is not true! I cannot speak for the Kuno girl, but Akane-chan is just stubborn, and-" Kasumi hesitated from the look Ranma gave her, but continued after a moment. "...and the other girls certainly seem to care about you a great deal from what I have seen."

"Naw, th' best thing I can do, is ta not marry none a' 'em, an' let 'em live normal lives without 'Ranma th' freak', 'Ranma th' Life Destroyer', ya even got kidnapped cuzza me!"

"That was not because of YOU, many people were at fault for that, but you were not one of them. How can you even think to blame yourself for that?"

"Everybody blames me fer everythin', how can I not?"

"If it were not for you, I would still be kidnapped, and maybe even dead! So, no, I do not think my life would be better if you were not in it. Now come, let us get you into the bath."

"Oi, thanks, Kasumi-san, that at least makes one person." Ranma was feeling a bit better, and less confused, at least until Kasumi followed him into the changing room. "Uh, it's okay, I can take a bath by myself."

Kasumi blushed, and demurely looked away. "But, Ranma-kun, were you not just telling Nabiki-chan, that you wanted me to wash your back?"

"Well, yeah, I mean 'no', but..."

"Then what 'did' you say?"

"Well, it's not that I need anyone ta wash my back, but if someone were ta force me ta pick someone..." Ranma's face was practically glowing in the dimly lit room. "I mean, Oyaji was never very good at it, ya know, too rough, but I figure ya probably had a lot a' practice... but, I'm a guy, so that's not right, right?"

Kasumi's giggle brightened the room far more than Ranma's blush, as she smiled at Ranma before splashing him with a glass of cold water. "Then we have no problem, do we? Skinship is important among family, and now neither of us has a reason to be embarrassed. We are just one girl, washing another one's back."

Ranma resigned himself, it was not as if he could wash off without changing anyway, the wash water was almost always cool enough to trigger his curse. For a moment, he felt bad for Ryoga, Mousse, and Shampoo, due to how hard that must be for them.

Kasumi took his clothes as he removed them, wringing out the water, and placing them in the laundry basket. "See, now that was not so hard, was it?"

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"Well, there you go, Ranma-kun, all clean. How was it, better than you father I hope?"

Ranma's whole body was bright pink, and not from hot water, nor hard scrubbing. The short redhead smiled at Kasumi, still embarrassed, but more relaxed about it, he could tolerate a lot more embarrassing things as a girl, it never really felt like 'him', more like watching a movie, or like he was controlling someone else. He never could put it into words that made sense to himself, let alone trying to explain it to anyone else, he figured only someone with a curse could really understand it. "I still have skin on my back, how could it NOT be better?"

"Oh my, was I too hard? You should have told me, I-"

"No, it was great, I can't remember anyone ever doing it better! Not even that nice old lady, when I was a kid..."

"Thank you, Ranma-kun. I did get a lot of practice growing up with two little sisters."

"No, thank you, Kasumi-san, that really did feel nice, 'specially the hair..."

Feeling a bit mischievous, Kasumi smiled. Perhaps then, if you would like, maybe I could do it again some time." An image of her washing his male back flashed though her mind, making her glad Ranma was facing the other way and could not see her face. "I will leave you to take your bath, and to change back. Do not worry about cleaning up, my chores have been feeling like less of a burden lately, so I will get it in the morning, that is usually when I clean in here and do laundry anyway." Ranma nodded as Kasumi walked to the sliding door, though just before walking out she turned back and said, "I hope you sleep well, Ranma-kun."

"You too, Kasumi-san, and thanks again." Ranma waited until the door had closed before lowering his cursed body into the water, reverting back to his original one. He was glad he could properly wash his hair again, in either form, it just felt so much better this way, he closed his eyes as he sank completely under the water, washing away the last of the stress that had built up during his 'talk' with Nabiki. Though no sooner had his eyes had closed, than a vision of two of the softest things he had ever felt brushing against his face, flashed through his mind and causing his eyes to fly open as he flew up out of the water. "Urk!"

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The dojo was empty as the old man returned with a sack of his precious things on his back, while dressed like a proverbial thief. He never quite understood why people would make that connection, when all he was trying to do was to protect these innocent, lovely things. But that was what heroes did, they saved things, even when the world was against them! After all, he was Grand-master Happosai, hero of underthings, and lord of the lacy garments! Anyone who tried to prevent his heroic works would pay!

Lost in his thoughts, Happosai almost walked passed the shrine without noticing anything unusual, but his nose led him back. "Ah sweet little Kasumi-chan, you are too kind to this old man..." Popping the confections into his mouth, he felt slightly guilty about eating the treats, so he though he should return the favor, and left a small gift in its place before returning to his room.

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Is this the end for Ranma's stressful days, or will the zaniness continue? Tune in next time for, 'Waterlogged Heroes', or 'The Terrible Teacher's Training'...


	5. Chapter 5

*Disclaimer I don't own squat.*

Welcome back, I am surprised to see you are still reading this, thank you. Here is a shorter one, sorry about that, but it seemed like a good place to pause.

Chapter 05

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As Kasumi looked over the house first thing in the morning, making her checklist for the day, she noticed her offering had been consumed and something had been left in its place. Upon careful inspection, she found a very racy pair of black lace 'battle' panties and a matching bra! They were rather skimpy and sheer, she could not see herself wearing such things at all, nor going off to that kind of 'battle' either. However, she then considered their origin.

She was confused, did her mother actually want her to start wearing these lacy things? Did she want her to start dating? Perhaps she even misunderstood the reason she had been sitting there with Ranma! "Oh my!" She did not wish to disappoint her mother, but was that something she even desired? Wearing underwear such as those everyday struck her as uncomfortable and unnecessary, nor did she know any nice boys her age that were interested her anyway. That prince certainly turned out to be a less-than-pleasant sort, and all of the other boys she knew were either younger than her, much older, or too immature for her tastes.

Take that nice doctor for instance, he was about the right age for her tastes, if not a bit older, but he was ever so silly, and always treated her as if she were still a child, so even if he were more mature, he certainly did not seem to consider her as an adult. While shopping, she would occasionally overhear some of the neighborhood folks talking as if the two of them were engaged, she never did understand where people would come up with these crazy ideas of theirs. She supposed that there were so few eligible bachelors in Nerima because most of them were in collage, and people loved romance stories, but the idea of them together was as silly as he was.

Surely her mother had not been suggesting that she take her sister's iinazuke, that would just not be nice at all, would it? She could not say, for some reason, it did not feel as cut and dry as it should have been. All she knew for certain was that she would need to be doing some hand washing with that day's laundry! Even if they did come from her mother, or fresh from a store, it just would not be right to wear them without washing them first, and one must be very careful when washing such delicates.

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Akane was feeling quite a bit better that morning, the long talk with P-Chan had helped, and a good night's sleep had her back to her 'normal cheerful' self. Although nothing prepared her for the elation she felt when she saw Ranma walk in looking as enervated

as Nabiki before she had her coffee. "What's the matter, Baka? Didn't sleep well?"

Not even looking her direction, Ranma sat at the table. "Naw, slept great, jus' didn't get much of it." To punctuate the fact, he yawned, barely even managing to cover his mouth.

Nabiki, who was still working on her first cup of coffee, could not help but to raise her eyebrows, wondering what could have happened after she had gone back to her room...

"What were you doing that kept you up so late then? It was probably something perverted, I'll bet!"

Both Nabiki and Kasumi froze for a split second, though Ranma was adamant. "I didn' do nuthin', was trainin'!

"Training? THAT late? HA! You were probably out with that hussy, Shampoo again, weren't you? Serve you right if you fall asleep during that English test today and get drained! Isn't that right P-Chan?"

"Bweeee!"

"NO! I told ya, I was trainin', got a lot a' work ta do, if I wanna be better than th' next 'prince', er whatever that might try an' kidnap one a' ya again!"

Nabiki was still a bit ...uncomfortable about what transpired the night before, but she just could not resist goading her little sister. "Was that what you were doing, Ranma-kun? Slurping Shampoo's noodles, munching Ukyo's ...okonomiyaki, or was it that you went to get ...tutored, by Hinako-sensei..."

"Ya ought ta know..."

"Hey, I only saw you 'come in', I have no idea WHAT you were doing before that..."

"RAAANNNNMAAAA!" Akane had pulled out her mallet, and was looking to launch Ranma into a low orbit, when Kasumi stepped in her way.

"But I DO know, I saw Ranma training in the dojo! Now let us have a peaceful breakfast, please."

Nabiki raised an eyebrow in curiosity. 'I'll just bet you did... interesting.'

"Why are you taking Ranma's side?"

"I am not taking anyone's 'side', I am telling you what I saw." Kasumi glanced at her father who was hiding behind his newspaper, trying to ignore the whole thing, and she felt mildly exasperated at the whole scene.

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Happosai was bouncing through the backyard, when he noticed the laundry drying on the line, and hanging there, were a very specific pair of black lace panties and matching bra! The idea that they were handing out to dry, meant that someone had worn them, and he started to picture the three Tendo girls each wearing it, not caring at all that none of them had time to have worn them yet. The visions had been so angelic and stunning, that he promptly passed out, face down the in the dirt, blissfully unaware that he was soon being used as a stepping stone.

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He was glad Akane was going to hang out with her friends again, it made rushing home to train much easier, and a much more peaceful sprint. The day had gone relatively the same as the one before, Kasumi had even gone back at some point and decorated each of the bento he had made for them the day before. This time it had been his girl side blocking an unseen attack. He was quite impressed with Kasumi's artistic talent, he had only tried to draw a few times in his life, and it had always ended in embarrassment. Needless to say, he had not chosen to try often. The same could be said for his penmanship, although it was not as if he had been allowed a lot of practice, and his father had always called it 'girlie' anyway, as with anything that took time away from the art or the scams he pretended were training.

No matter how stressful the day had been, being greeted by Kasumi's warm smile and lately even snacks, made all of his problems seem further away. He was able to relax, until, when she thought he was not looking, he saw her running around a bit frantically. He quickly finished his treat, and cleaned up the mess, before starting his 'training'.

As Ranma silently followed Kasumi around, quickly trying to help her in any way he could, he had overheard her mumbling under her breath. "...need to hurry, too much to get done before dinner. Cannot miss our training, must not let Ranma-kun down ...when trying so hard."

Ranma was surprised, he did not realize that their training sessions were so important to her, they had only just started them after all.

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Ranma had come home a bit sooner than she had planned, or perhaps she was a further behind than she had thought... Maybe she should not have fallen asleep in the tub for so long, but it had just felt so nice, and she did not exactly get a lot of sleep that morning. Not only had she been very late in getting to bed, but once there, she had been so lost in thought that sleep did not find her quickly.

She had been straightening the living room before the others came home, and she thought she was seeing things. Every time she would go to clean something, it would vanish and straighten itself before she could get to it, as if by magic! Slowly, she became certain that she had not gotten enough sleep. Every time she turned around, another thing was cleaned and shining, even the shelves had been dusted!

"Thank you very much, spirit-san." Kasumi bowed as she left the now clean room, and moved on to her next project.

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Dinner had been mostly peaceful, aside from poor Ranma-kun being attacked by Akane-chan's pet pig, seemingly enraged by the fact that neither of the two teens even tried to speak to one another. Normally, that would have suited Kasumi just fine, she enjoyed the quiet, but it had begun to bother her, perhaps she would ask Ranma about it later that evening...

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Once again, Kasumi made a small offering and a prayer to her mother at their shrine before Ranma arrived for their training that night. She made a point of being there extra early, due to not wanting Ranma to overhear her thanking her mother for her help, and her ...gift.

Ranma had arrived about the same time she had been finishing up, and joined her in paying his respects. "Did ya have a good day, Kasumi-san?"

"Yes, thank you. It started out rather busy, but it all worked out well in the end."

Kasumi's smile made Ranma proud of himself for his latest training idea, and made him return it. If it could help make Kasumi smile like that, then it had to be one of the best ideas he ever had. The fact that the training had also been rather effective in increasing his speed, just made it all the sweeter. "I'm glad. Ya ready ta start?"

"Almost, first I wanted to ask you a question."

"Sure, what ya wanna know?"

"You and Akane seem to not be getting along well again, did something happen? Do you want to talk about it?"

Ranma slumped and let out a deep sigh. "Stupid rumors around school. After coming back, Hinako-sensei wanted ta start tutorin' me."

"Oh, that is wonderful! You must be happy!" Seeing him slump further surprised Kasumi greatly, why would anyone not want to learn more?

"Well, it's not really somethin' I'm good at, an' if that ain't bad 'nuff, 'cuzza th' way it happened, an' th' way that school is, everyone is sayin' sensei is hittin' on me, an' wantin' ta be my next iinazuke! So now everyone's mad at me, 'cept ya an' Nabiki, an' Nabiki's th' one who started several a' th' rumors ...er so I was told."

"Have you tried sitting them down, and explaining what happened?"

"As if that'd work! but, yeah, that's when they try ta start hittin' me with stuff."

"Would you like me to have a talk with Nabiki-chan?"

"Naw, it'd probably just make things worse, it ain't like it's that much different 'an normal anyway. Clear up one thing, an' somethin' else'll take its place! I'd rather spend my time, here, hel-, er I mean trainin', that's more important ta me than anythin' else, it ain't like I'm gonna need all that in life."

"Oh no, Ranma-kun, your education is very important to you. You may not see it now, but no matter what you do, it is always good to know more, you just never know what knowledge might help you. I am not trying to tell you what to do, I only think you should consider the offer before turning it down. Besides, learning is a joy!"

"But, everyone thinks I'm cheatin' on 'em, an' worse yet, callin' me a pervert, either 'cuzza teach's child body, or they're jealous a' th' adult one... If I even try, Akane an' th' rest a' 'um'll want ta kill me."

"Well, that does not make sense, why would anyone want to prevent you from getting an education?"

"The old man don't think it's 'manly', an' th' rest think I'm gonna do somethin' perverted with Hinako-sensei..."

"Would you like to?"

"Like to what? Do perverted stuff with sensei? NO WAY! I'm not like that! I ain't tryin' ta do nuthin' with nobody!"

"It is okay Ranma-kun, I believe you."

Ranma flinched. "You do?"

"Of course I do, why would I not? Do you have any reason you would lie to me?"

"No, but, it's just, nobody believes me, almost ever ...about anything, ESPECIALLY perverted stuff!"

"I told you Ranma-kun, you can trust me, I only want to help you."

"It ain't that I don't believe ya, it's jus' that everyone says that, an' they never do, they only wanna help me if it helps them too." It was not as if Ranma did not trust Kasumi, it was simply that he had been burned too often, by almost everyone he had ever trusted in his life.

Kasumi had a difficult time understanding that idea, helping others was its own reward, having other reasons was nice, but the more one helped others, the better one would feel, so why would anyone need any other reason? She knew the boy had trust issues, but it seemed worse than she thought. "You are like my little brother Ranma-kun, that makes you very special to me, and I only want to see you happy. You are a precious member of my family, and if there is one thing I do, it is take care of my family!" Kasumi pulled a reluctant Ranma into her arms, hugging his face to her chest. "You do not have to worry, I will always do whatever I can to help you."

Ranma froze for a moment, as memories of those mammaries flashed through his brain again, threatening to shut it down! Though, Kasumi's comforting aura helped him to relax, and he was able to speak ...almost calmly. "Thanks, Kasumi-san. I don't know what ta say. I never really had nobody like that, even my real family."

"You ARE my real family, do not let anyone tell you otherwise, including yourself!"

Slowly, Ranma returned the hug, half expecting to be clobbered at any moment, and pulling away the moment Kasumi started to let go of him. "Same here, I'd do anythin' ta help ya too. Ya ever need me ta do somethin', just ask."

"All I ask is that you always try your best, at whatever you put your mind to doing." Kasumi decided she would make a bit of extra time in her schedule the next day.

"Ya mean like yer trainin'?"

"Oh my, I had almost forgotten!"

Ranma spent the next hour showing Kasumi the basics of meditation, and a basic kata from one of the water schools he knew. Kasumi did well working with the form, and had it mostly memorized, but the meditation seemed to come naturally to her. It had not taken long before she had been able to tune out everything other than Ranma's voice and just relax. Ranma had said she must be a 'natural', and by the time they had finished she had felt far more rested than if she had taken a nap.

Ranma had insisted that he always cleaned the dojo when he was done, so it felt as if it were 'his' job, and reluctantly, Kasumi agreed to leave him to it, going take her bath first. Unlike the previous night, she had managed to make it to bed without incident.

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Ranma said 'good-night' to Kasumi as they passed in the hallway, glad to see she had not forgotten her nightclothes and was moving at a more relaxed pace. After a nice, relaxing soak, Ranma went to bed, feeling better than he had in a while. 'Maybe things were lookin' up fer me.'

Soon after Ranma had drifted off into a deep sleep, the window to the guest room opened, and a dark figure slipped into the dark room. Not wanting to be disturbed, the long-legged figure tiptoed over to the snoring panda and released a cloud of sleeping powder into his face, just as he was about to take in a breath.

Throwing off her cloak, Kodachi bit her lip, preventing herself from laughing aloud at her brilliance! Having learned her lesson from previous attempts, she knew better than to get to close to Ranma, too soon. Reaching into her leotard, she pulled out her compact, touched up her make-up, and blew a cloud of paralysis powder toward her target.

Kodachi kept her voice to a whisper, and snuck closer as soon as she thought the powder would be taking effect. "There we go, now to find the truth, and claim my prize!"

The lust in her aura triggered Ranma's danger sense, but he was unable to move much more than his voice box, even his lips were frozen. "Hey! What're ya doin'? Git off a' me!"

Sliding up to him, Kodachi slipped off his shirt, planting kisses up his chest. "Do not fear, Ranma-sama, it is only I, your true love, and I will be happy to get you off, but first... I have been hearing terrible rumors coming from onii-sama, that you are involved with that harlot of a teacher you have! This cannot be true, is it?" She felt a sigh of relief escape her lips upon seeing his protests, and stripped off her own outfit as she continued to plant kisses wherever she could reach. "Now I will make you all mine, and then have you take responsibility!"

The sound of a snoring panda did little to distract her from her goal as the wicked grin of a predator crossed her lips. She spent a few more moments necking, and moving his hands to massage her breasts before going for the 'main course'.

Ranma's panic was obvious to almost any who might have seen him, though Kodachi paid it no mind as she pulled down his boxer shorts and her eyes went wide! "Ohohohohohoho! Do I know how to choose them or what? Ranma-sama, you are even more magnificent than I had suspected!"

Kodachi had wrapped both of her hands around Ranma and was leaning down as the door burst open! "What are you perverts doing at this time of night?"

Akane stomped in, hammering Kodachi back out through the window she had entered as Nabiki followed her sister into the room, taking pictures without reservation, somewhat disappointed that she had only caught the 'tail end' of The Black Rose as she left the building. She was certain that it would have been worth a small fortune if she had just been a few moments faster. She consoled herself by targeting her actual goal, snapping several well angled shots of Ranma's freestanding manhood, and she could not have been happier. Being able to get out of the room before Akane had finished ranting at the motionless martial artist was just icing on the cake. That was until she saw Kasumi, and quickly hid her camera. "Unwanted visitor, Akane 'asked' them to leave..."

"Oh my, is everyone all right?"

"That is hard to say at this point, last I looked anyway... Night, Nee-chan." Nabiki ran back to her room, almost too excited to sleep, she could not wait to kick everyone out of the school's darkroom in the morning!

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Kasumi ran into the guest room and saw Akane, mallet in hand, yelling and standing over a fully naked Ranma! She gasped, unable to believe what she saw, her eyes going wide before she could avert them. "Oh my!"

"If you are supposed to be innocent, than what's up with THAT?" Pointing at his groin, Akane was on the verge of having a conniption fit!

Ranma was way beyond thinking straight, and could still not move in the slightest. "I don't know, it just gets that way sometimes!"

"The cover up, you ...PERVERT!" Thanks to the effort of Akane's mallet, there was a new Ranma-shaped dent in the floor as Akane stormed back to her room! She had not even noticed bumping into Kasumi as she passed.

Glancing back into the room, Kasumi had to quickly look away again. "Ranma-kun, why 'have' you not covered yourself?" Kasumi's hands could not stop fidgeting, and she could barely help peeking! Did he enjoy showing off, was he just unaware that it was not polite, or did this have something to do with the night before?

"Sorry Kasumi-san, I can't move, I'm paralyzed! That crazy Kodachi-chick broke in here an' did this ta me! Please, help me." The frantic look in his eyes called to her as she was forced to look back for a third time, only hesitating for a moment, before locating his blanket and covering him again. "Thanks Kasumi-san, this will be much warmer than last time!"

"This has happened before?"

"Oh yeah, back when Akane volunteered ta help th' gymnastics team, Kodachi tried an ambush in Akane's room, an' after Ryoga attacked me, Kodachi paralyzed me then too. Though, at least I wasn't naked, but I was on th' roof, an' Akane left me up there then too... all night."

"You couldn't move all night?"

"Nope, not sure how long it lasts, fell asleep after a few hours..."

Soun threw open the door, and stood in the entryway, smoke coming from his flaring nostrils. "Ranma-kun! Explain yourself!"

"Tendo-san!"

"Father, everything is fine. Go back to bed, I will handle this."

"Oh, okay, Kasumi-chan, see you in the morning." The Tendo family patriarch stumbled back down the stairs, oblivious to the damp young man passing him in the hall.

"Ah, here is the room! RANMA, YOU BASTARD, WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"Now, now, Ryoga-kun, this is no way to act while a guest in someone's house, especially at this time of night."

Bowing, Ryoga apologized profusely. "Kasumi-san! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"That is okay, if you need a blanket, let me know, otherwise, go back to sleep until morning."

"Hai!" Ryoga bowed, and walked, the wrong way, down the hall, coming to the dead end before standing there, looking confused.

"Oh my, it does not appear that you are safe, and as a host it is my duty to protect you. I will stay here, and keep watch." Kasumi walked over to the cupboard, pulling out another futon and rolling it out near Ranma's own.

"But, Kasumi-san, what'll people say?"

"That I am protecting my family, and that is all there is to it. Now don't you worry, Ranma-kun, just rest yourself. Is there anything I can get for you?" Kasumi blushed a bit. "Did you want me to find your boxers and shirt, put them back on you?"

"Uh, naw, th' blanket's fine, thanks!" Ranma's skin grew flush at her suggestion as well.

Kasumi surprised herself by the slight disappointment she felt before looking around at the damaged room. 'Apparently, I will be needing to be making an extra stop at the hardware store as well during my shopping trip tomorrow...' She tucked Ranma in more tightly, and made sure he had a pillow under his head. "Are you sure there is nothing I can get for you, shall I make you some tea?"

"Naw, not like I can drink anything er nuthin'. Ya need ta get some sleep too..."

"That is all right, I believe I am going to practice what you taught me earlier." Kasumi took her meditative posture, closed her eyes, and tried to tune out all but the nearest sounds. It was not long before she had fallen unconscious from a long day's work.

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Nabiki was unable to sleep, even though she did not expect the picture of Kodachi to come out well enough to see her face, the one she got of Ranma would more than make up with for it if she marketed them well enough. Then there would be the exclusive sets, that would go to the highest bidders, first pixilated, then let one slip that is not, give the rumors time to circulate, let some others see them, and the offers will start to pour in. Then all she had to do was hold out for them to raise their offers, and eventually they might make it to the normal high end sets, but for now she had to play the game.

She figured that since Kodachi was the one who broke in, odds were high that she had used a type of paralysis toxin on him, and that was why he could not move. This meant that once things calmed down, she would be able to sneak back in there and take photos of him in almost ANY pose she wanted. Maybe she could even take a few for fun ...for her 'personal' collection.

Not hearing any sounds from the hall, she peeked out, and saw the light out again. Grabbing her camera, she tiptoed back down to their guest room and peeked in, almost yelping in surprise. She snapped one quick picture of her sister lying next to Ranma, both seeming to be sleeping soundly before closing the door and heading back to her room, not sure what to make of what she had seen.

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Happosai hopped into the dojo, he had found a girl's leotard hanging from a tree branch outside, and was wanting to store it with the others he had collected, when he saw another snack that surely had to have been left for him by that darling Kasumi! Having remembered seeing the set he left the day before on the clothesline, he felt they would be put to good use, and left a set made of very revealing red lace.

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Early that morning Kasumi was, as usual, the first to awaken in the Tendo household. What was unusual, was her location, and who was next to her! She found herself curled up next to Ranma, who was completely naked! She had slept so nicely but now she was beyond flustered, and well into panic. 'Oh my, oh my, oh my! What-do-I-do? I 'slept' with my sister's iinazuke! What happened? How did I get here? Must clean!' Kasumi started rushing around picking up anything out of the ordinary, starting with her temporary futon. It was not until she saw the Ranma-shaped dent in the floor, next to where she had moved his bedding, that the events of the night before started to filter back through her mind.

Fresh from her panic induced adrenaline rush, Kasumi was wide awake, and still slightly confused, but decided she could figure it out as she started her work for the day. There was a lot to do, and she had to make time to buy materials to fix the house again.

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Kasumi was out running her errands, and was planning to save the groceries for last, and so started with the school. She had not been to the campus to deliver a lunch in a while, but she still remembered her way around, and what time classes changed. She had timed it so she would show up at the start of lunch, and she headed straight for the teacher's lounge. She failed to notice the students who were staring and talking about her as she walked around, which only got worse after she exited the lounge with smaller Hinako-sensei, looking for an empty room.

The young Tendo woman tried her best to explain what she felt was causing the problem, and why she thought Ranma had been turning down Hinako's proposition. She wanted to help him herself, but had little spare time, and since Hinako had offered...

"Well, that's just silly, Saotome-kun is my student, nothing more." The child-like teacher was energetically waving her finger back and forth.

"So you see the problem, and I was hoping, maybe we could make some arraignments in private for tutoring, so that these terrible rumors can be put to rest. I would like to see Ranma-kun's grades improve, but I hate to see all of the problems these stories are causing. I am sure they are troublesome for you as well."

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"Two days of training, and ya went ta challenge Hinako-sensei? What were ya thinkin'? An' why would ya wanna fight my teacher anyway? I know I said I'd protect ya, an' I will, but that doesn't mean ya should go startin' fights. This is like Akane an' Shampoo all over again..."

"What? Oh my, no... Whatever gave you the idea that I would challenge someone to a fight?"

"Th' whole school is talkin' 'bout how ya came in and challenged Hinako-sensei ta a fight over me er somethin', in front a' a whole group a' people. It's all anyone was sayin' all afternoon."

Kasumi was stunned, Ranma had explained to her about the rumor mill, but it's never quite the same as having it happen to you. "There is no fighting, we just talked, in an empty room if it matters. I just wanted to talk to your teacher and see if we could figure out a way to get you some help with your lessons, and prevent these horrible rumors!"

"So, I don't have ta fight Sensei again?"

"No!"

Ranma let out a sigh of relief. "Yokatta! I been stressin' that one all day, Hinako-sensei's been nice lately, hate ta have ta ruin that. I'm sure it'll ruin itself soon enough..."

"If you don't want to, then why would you do that?"

"'Cuzz I promised I'd protect ya, and I don't care what I gotta do ta do that! Even if it means doin' somethin' I don't wanna do."

"I do not understand, why would you go that far?"

"You're one a' th' only people who's nice ta me, and 'cuzz I'm Ranma Saotome, an' I keep my word. Now I gotta run ta Ucchan's, try an' 'splain this without a problem, can I ask ya a favor?"

"Of course, Ranma-kun."

"Could ya tell yer sisters what happened? ...or least Akane? If nuthin' else, it might keep 'em busy 'til I get back. Thanks, Kasumi-san, I hope I won't be long." Ranma took off, hoping to catch Ukyo before she got busy with the rush. The last thing he needed was to have all of the women in his life not only after each other, but also after Kasumi too, that was more than he could manage.

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Finishing lunch, Ranma was about to go back to his 'training' and help Kasumi, who was clearing the dishes, when she saw him move to leave and placed her hand on her shoulder. Kasumi was a bit more dramatic than usual, making sure that everyone at the table had heard her. "Ranma-kun, I have an errand I do not have time to do today, since you do not have much else planned, could I please ask you to do it for me?"

"Uh, sure Kasumi-san. What do ya need?"

"First, go get cleaned up while I do the dishes, and I will give you the details."

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When he exited the bath, instead of one of his usual silk outfits, he found one of his more 'formal' ones, the green one he had not worn since that da...y with Tsubasa, though without the hat. It held bad memories, so he tended to avoid it. Looking around, he saw nothing else to wear and resigned himself to his fate.

The moment he started to open the door, Kasumi slid into the room. "Just a moment, Ranma-kun, if you do not mind..." She did not give him time to even think of protesting before she was straightening his outfit, untying his hair, before quickly brushing, and fixing it neatly. "There you go Ranma-kun, you look very handsome."

"What's goin' on here Kasumi-san, did 'you' switch out my clothes?"

"Yes Ranma, those were dirty, and you need to look respectable for this."

"Why, what's up?"

Kasumi smiled innocently. "I need you to meet a friend of mine, they will show you what to do. Just go to this address, and look for someone in a yellow dress, they will know you."

Ranma looked confused, he had no idea what was happening. "And ya need me ta do this?"

"Oh my, yes. It can be no one else." Looking him over once again, Kasumi smiled. "Perfect, now hurry up, you do not want to keep anyone waiting." Ranma nodded and Kasumi watched as he bounded off into the distance.

As Ranma vanished from view, Nabiki came out from around the corner. "Well, now wasn't that ...interesting. What do we have here?"

"Nabiki-chan, when did you start watching?"

"Oh, about the time you made a show of getting rid of Ranma in front in the whole family. You are clearly making an alibi, so what are you planning?"

"I needed Ranma to run an errand, I just have no time..."

"You said that, but what kind of errand would require you to make arrangements, have your 'friend' help, and require Ranma-kun to 'dress-up'? You are not very good at this, Onee-chan. Who might this friend be?"

"As I said, I have a lot of work to do..."

"Really? Does it have anything to do with this photo I found lying around? For some reason, they FEEL related to me..."

Seeing the picture of herself, snuggled up to a sleeping Ranma, and remembering the feeling of it, her blush returned. "Oh my, that is not what it appears to be. I was guarding Ranma-kun, who was paralyzed."

"Yeah, I will just bet, it certainly LOOKS like you are doing an excellent job ...guarding."

"I was tired, I fell asleep."

"I can see that... but what does it have to do with what is going on here?"

Kasumi glanced at the photo again, and replied honestly. "Nothing at all, unless you count helping a friend."

"Well, how about we help each other now?"

"You are going to help me with the housework? Thank you, Nabiki-chan?"

"Of course not, but it would make some people unhappy if I lost this picture, and someone found it. Daddy might try to switch the engagement to you, and even if not, either way, Akane would be upset. Now I am sure you would like to have this picture for your personal collection, and I would like to know what this errand is, and this friend you are helping. Maybe we can make a trade, you are so much better at keeping track of things than I am, Onee-sama..."

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As if Ranma was not confused enough before, when he arrived at the address and found a library... Sighing to himself, he silently hoped they just needed some heavy shelves moved, something was up too high for their ladders, or something... This dream was dashed to pieces when he entered the building only to find there was only one person in a yellow dress, and that was the child form of Hinako! "Oh no..."

"Saotome-kun! Good, you're finally here!"

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh! This is a library!"

Hinako covered her mouth with one hand and grabbed Ranma's in her other, leading him to a back table where she had already set up some study materials. "First, I want you to answer these questions, so I can see where you are in your other classes too."

"What's goin' on? I'm suppose ta take a TEST? BLEEECK!"

"SHHHHhhhhhhhhh!"

"Ack, so 'yer' th' 'friend' I am supposed to help?"

"Not quite, 'you' are the one we are here to help."

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Taking turns at a game, Daisuke noticed Ranma going into the library across the street and pointed it out to his best friend. After a brief discussion, they decided something strange had to be going on for that to happen, and they decided to investigate, since they lost the game anyway...

Disappointed in their performance, the two young men wandered into a strange place they had seen only in stories, looking for their friend. If anyone could beat that game, it was him! This library was huge, far bigger than any book store they had been into for manga, and they had almost gotten lost, but eventually they found Ranma, sitting at one of the tables, with what looked like their English teacher sitting in his lap!

"Thanks for the lift ...Onii-chan. Now I can check this."

"Ranma! You mean it's true, you really ARE going out with Hinako-sensei?!" Hiroshi could not believe his eyes. "If I were you, I'd have let myself be drained first..."

"Yeah, couldn't you even wait for the adult form? ...or is that what you are into?"

"NO, I'm not, and don't tell anyone about this!"

"Happo Five-Yen Satsu!"

"SSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Be Quiet!"

The now adult instructor, gathered her materials, and grabbed Ranma by the hand as she practically dragged him away. "Come, Saotome-kun, let us find somewhere more private."

Once they had recovered enough to speak, Hiroshi whispered to his friend as they floated around the library. "Did you hear that?"

"Heh! Heh! She said, 'More private'..."

"What's more private than this?"

"Wasn't there a love hotel around the corner?"

The two boys started to drool. "That's where I would go... I'm sooo jealous!"

"Oh yeah, me too..."

"Not that I ever had anyone to take..."

"Yeeeaaaaah, me neither... Why does Ranma get all the luck?"

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Since the two boys did not have much battle aura to drain, her adult size did not last long and she was now riding on Ranma's shoulders. Ranma was just happy to not be studying, and after several failed ideas, and many dirty looks toward Ranma, he was starting to get annoyed. He was not sure what a 'Lolita Complex' was, but those people who said it, certainly made it sound like an insult! However, Hinako claimed to have another idea, now whether this idea was for a place to study, or just for her to have fun, Ranma was not sure, though he was hoping for the later, but either way, off they went to the nearest karaoke bar.

Ranma had thought things were at least starting to look up a little, that is with the addition of a glass of water, he could have a bit of fun singing with Hinako ...sure beat studying! Unfortunately for Ranma, the fates always seemed to know when things started to improve for him, and so it was that when they walked inside they came face to face with Akane's two best friends!

"Ranma?"

"Hinako-sensei?"

"What are you two doing here?"

"Together?"

"Hinako-sensei is helpin' me study."

The ice cream on Hinako's face and the balloons in her hand did not add to that image, and with the sugar rush, her attitude just made it worse. "Study date, study date, we're going on a study date!" Hinako jumped down, and started running around, looking at everything even remotely interesting.

Ranma's shoulders slumped, and he sighed. "Please, just don't tell anyone. There is no way Akane'd understand this, I don't think I even get it."

The two teens looked at each other for a moment, and quickly turned back to Ranma, shaking their heads. "Can we get you a room?"

"Or some snacks?"

"OOOOooooo, snacks?"

Suddenly, the front door burst open, and a disheveled lost boy was found. "Ranma, there you are! Prepare to DIE!"

"Happo Fifty-Yen Satsu!"

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Ranma had done so poorly on some aspects of the placement tests, that Hinako had him go all the way back to the basics from elementary school, not that she had informed him of it, she did not wish to embarrass him after all. He had not been ignorant of every subject, but she felt it was best to at least touch on everything from every grade, in order, focusing where he needed the most work. She had started with basic arithmetic and reviewing some early kanji, as she did not want to overload the boy any more than necessary. If he kept with it, she felt it was going to take her quite a while to get Ranma up to speed, she was going to need more than one afternoon a week, and a way to remain in her 'adult' form for longer periods of time...

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Hope you enjoyed the chaos and confusion. With any luck, I will have the next chapter for you soon. I look forward to your feedback. ;)


	6. Chapter 6

I own nothing, I have nothing, I am ...nothing.

Chapter 06 - After Math

Another day, another chapter corrected. Would have been sooner, but the uploader was not working for me again... Glad to see that some of you are still enjoying this, and I hope this will not be an exception.

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Ranma finally made it home, only somewhat worse for wear, at least physically. Hinako's draining of Ryoga had lasted a lot longer than her previous one, though it still wore off long before he had finished the assignments she had given him too do. The rest of their time, she had spent singing or otherwise making an annoyance of herself, while at the same time, casually threatening to drain him if he did not keep working.

It was starting to get late, but he saw that there was still a light on in the dojo, so he went to investigate. Seeing Kasumi, in her gi, doing the kata he had taught her the other day almost perfectly, filled him with both pride, and annoyance. As a friend and instructor, he was proud of her for doing well, but he was also miffed at being tricked the way he had, and of all people, for it to have been Kasumi to have done it is what hurt him the most. He tried to push back the pain, as he had always done, and focus on the work she had done.

Once Kasumi finished the form, Ranma made his presence known. "Oi, Kasumi-san, good work, that was almost perfect. Would ya like ta wait 'til tomorrow, or ya want me ta show ya another one tonight?"

"Oh, Ranma-kun, you are home! How did it go, were you able to help 'my friend'?"

"No, don't think so, an' I gotta pretty bad feelin' about what'll come a' it later... but all that trouble is just part a' my life, would a' happened no matter what I did. Does explain why sensei stopped botherin' me part way through th' week... But why'd ya do all this? Ya knew I didn't wanna do that..."

Kasumi started to panic, she was not expecting a reaction like this, maybe a bit annoyed, but not this hurt. "Oh, Ranma-kun, I'm sorry! I guess I did not understand, I thought you just didn't want the other students to know that you were being tutored, so they would not make fun of you?"

"No, it was so they wouldn't think I was a pervert! So ta keep people from thinkin' I'm a pervert, who is tryin' ta date my teacher, ya make it look like I was on a date with that teacher, I am not sure how that is helpin'... Not ta mention how many people from our class we ran inta, I only hope they keep their big mouths shut."

"But, it was not... I mean, if you explain..."

"Me explainin' stuff don't do no good ...it seems. Come on, let's show ya th' next kata, so ya can start learnin' that too."

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As soon as Ranma arrived at school, the pointing and whispers began, avoiding the usual morning activities, he ran straight for their classroom, looking for his two 'buddies'.

"Hey, guys! I thought you promised me you would not say anything!"

The two boys looked at each other, then back at Ranma, and chimed in together. "We didn't actually agree, but..."

"We didn't tell anyone, anyhow!"

"If not you guys then ...oh no!"

Just as Ranma's head dropped, Sayuri and Yuka walked into the room, followed closely by Akane.

"...and then Ranma-kun told us not to tell you, Akane!"

"RAAAAAAANNNNNNNMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Walking over to his desk, Akane's aura was almost hot enough to ignite the dry ceiling materials. "WHAT WERE YOU DOING LAST NIGHT?"

"Nuthin'! Kasumi-san asked me ta-"

"Don't you DARE try to blame Onee-chan for you being perverted! I heard ALL about it!"

Turning to Akane's 'friends', Ranma whispered a sarcastic, 'thanks a lot!', before turning back to his flaming fiancee. "Than whatcha askin' me for? It ain't like yer gonna listen ta me anyway!"

"Ranma no ...BAKA!" Akane did not even waste her time pulling out her favorite weapon, and just wound up her punch.

"I knew this was gonna happen!"

"At least you got some, and by the hottest Sensei around!"

"You PERVERT!"

"I whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...?" Ranma's voice trailed off as he flew through the open window, unable to see most of the girls in the classroom fuming, and the guys ranging from jealous to amazed, many of whom would have removed body parts to spend an hour alone with their teacher in her adult form!

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Almost back from picking up some ingredients for her grandmother, Shampoo listened to her instincts and looked up to saw her wayward husband flying overhead. Peddling as hard as she could, she yelled as she approached the front of the shop. "Grandmother, delivery out front, Shampoo leave now, go after Airen. Make stupid Mousse do carry!" Tossing the crate, the young Chinese woman bounced her bike onto a fence, hopped over a shed, and soared onto the nearest rooftop, trying to close the gap between the two. Only one person would do that to her husband, and being the one to catch him and tend his wounds would surely win her some points!

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Ranma was nearing the dojo, when he twisted his body to use wind resistance to start to slow his fall, when he sensed a familiar projectile coming his way and braced for impact. Instead of being rammed by the bicycle, as he had expected, he had been plucked out of the air, and deposited into Shampoo's lap. "Aiyaaaaa! Shampoo save Airen from pervert-girl, sooooo happy! Want go have fun with Shampoo?"

Angling down several sloped roofs, and off of the Tendo gate, Shampoo gently landed her bike, and hugged Ranma tightly. "What angry-girl angry about today?"

Ranma tried in vain to extradite himself from the vice that held him. "Oh, you know, the usual stuff..."

"Airen say how love Shampoo then?" The always optimistic young warrior bounced as she practically cheered with excitement, which had the desired effect of catching her husband's eye, for however briefly it may have been. It was the little moments that kept her from feeling as if she was completely wasting her time. Most men stared at her with obvious desire, they were easy to read, and she craved the attention, if only to reassure herself that she was as desirable as she thought. Most men, and even some women, were happy to oblige, but not her husband, his clues were much more subtle. She had to look closely to try to read the signs, and she could admit to herself that she occasionally misread those clues, he certainly did not make it easy.

"Not exactly..." Ranma was a bit more distracted by Shampoo's jiggling figure than usual, but he was able to tear his eyes away, and was trying to think of a way to escape, without offending the girl who had just saved him from what could have been a semi-painful landing.

"Then say how bad is cooking?"

"No, not this time... Look, Shampoo, I got somethin' I got ta do, so, uh, do ya mind?"

The bubbly warrior's happy aura competed with Akane's earlier angry one. "Shampoo no mind, have all time for Ranma."

He was afraid she had not understood what he meant, and his fears were confirmed when she tried to follow him into the house, blissfully smiling away. There was no way she was going to leave until she found out what has caused this latest spat, there was little in this world that was more 'newsworthy' to her than another fight between the pair, and she wanted to hear every last detail, preferably without having to pay Nabiki for them.

"Ranma-kun, you're home early, and Shampoo is with you! Welcome, would you like some tea?"

"Thanks Kasumi-san."

"You are welcome, Ranma-kun." Kasumi led the way to the kitchen, followed by a depressed Ranma, who was in turn followed by the effervescent adolescent, Shampoo. "You are sure home early, did you forget something?"

"Other 'an stayin' in bed, ya mean?"

Shampoo perked up, if that was what Ranma had in mind for the day, she was completely overjoyed to be available. Great-grandmother would just have to do without her for the day! At least being shorthanded ought to keep Mousse out of her hair in the meantime. This was quickly turning into her best day in a long time.

"Could things really have been that bad?"

"Didn't even make it ta homeroom before the rumors were so bad Akane sent me flyin'. Was startin' ta try an' control my fall, when Shampoo here caught me." When Ranma mentioned her part in the story, Shampoo beamed with pride. "Don't know if I'm goin' back today... gotta blow over ...eventually."

Kasumi was a bit disappointed, but could not really blame the lad, it was not his fault how he was raised, and while she did not know what it was like to have a whole campus spreading rumors about her, she was certain that it was not a pleasant experience.

"Oh yes! Ranma stay here, with big sister and Shampoo! Make too too much happy!" Anything was better than sending him back to the school with the violent one and her most bitter rival! Besides, what could be better than to spend the day together? Doing her best to look as cute as she could, Shampoo looked up into Ranma's eyes. "Or strong husband wish take dutiful wife on date, yes?"

"No! Um, I mean, I'm in enough hot water as it is... Er, staying here's fine, but where are our fathers?"

"Oh, grandfather was excited about something, and insisted they go train together..."

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Happosai was happier than he had been in a long time, someone in the Tendo-ke was developing an interest in the finer things in life, and it was time for him to step up his game! He needed to fine even sexier samples, something that will really help grow the interest in his new apprentice! ...whoever it was. He was going to drag those two worthless ingrates all over Japan if that was what it took!

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"Say, 'in hot water', husband want bath? Shampoo want help!" Ranma started to worry about the direction this was taking, and wondered if he would have been better off going back to school...

Kasumi blushed as she remembered washing Ranma's back the other day, and would never admit that she wanted to do it again. "Oh my! But, that isn't proper!"

"No more have mixed bath in Japan?"

"We DO, but it's not exactly common any longer, not since the war..."

"That is pride of Japan, let others tell what do, how act?"

Kasumi could not think of an argument, to that, mixed bathing HAD long been a tradition in their country, especially among close family, but despite her curiosity, she still had misgivings... "Well then, you will need a chaperone, yes, that is it!" Kasumi got up to fetch a glass of cold water.

"But, but, but... I-" Ranma had been counting on Kasumi to save him, and was disappointed that she caved on him so easily, not that he was able to present a decent argument. Debating was not really his strong suit, no matter how much he tried, especially when a woman was involved, he knew he had no hope.

Shampoo was so unused to not being attacked or completely rejected, that she took this as tacit approval, only jumping back as the water came down over her husband's head. Activating Ranma's curse was fine to her, but her own had to be avoided at all costs. Grabbing one of their hands in each of hers, Shampoo quickly ran for the changing room.

"No, wait, what? ...Oh my."

Shampoo threw off her dress in one quick motion, and started to work on Ranma's shirt fasteners. "Is called 'Onee-chan' is correct? Shampoo call too, is okay?" The slightly older woman stared at her with wide eyes, nodding to both of her inquiries. "Then Onee-chan must hurry or Shampoo have all fun. Like helping, yes? Want help Airen, need hurry. Can't go in bath with clothes! Need Shampoo help too?"

"No, but, Ranma-kun..."

Having finished removing all of Ranma's clothes, Shampoo started to drag him into the furo. "Should hurry, if want help!"

Flustered by the brazenness of the younger girl, Kasumi warred with herself internally for a moment before fumbling with her own clothing fasteners, and putting on a towel to maintain her modesty. As she entered the furo, she saw Shampoo rubbing her body all over Ranma 'washing' his cursed body in places without water. For his part, Ranma was still doing his best impression of 'Deer in Headlights', and was stiff as a board, not even blinking. "Oh my, that isn't proper!"

"Husband need loosen up! Have two too beautiful womans, here for helping. Should enjoy!"

"Shampoo! What are you doing?"

"Shampoo helping husband be happy! Is too too nice! Onee-chan know what mens and womens do together, yes?"

Blushing ever harder, Kasumi just could not look away. "Of course, but, Ranma is a girl now... and, and ...that is not proper! You're not married!"

"Shampoo no care what body is Airen, Shampoo happy just be with! What not proper? Ranma is Shampoo husband, Onee-chan is nice friend, Shampoo let help!" The young Chinese warrior's smile was so wide, it threatened to split her face in half. "No have to play..."

"That is not what I meant..." Kasumi knew it was not right, they should not be doing what they were, but young warrior looked so happy, she was having trouble saying 'no', she did so enjoy helping... But, NO, she was supposed to be there as a chaperone, and Ranma was clearly distressed and panicking, she should be stopping this, not helping... Stop, help, stop, help, stop, help ...! "AAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Kasumi suddenly jumping up and running away screaming, gave Shampoo enough of a pause, that Ranma was able to break free of her grip and make a break for it himself, running to his room to get clothes...

Shampoo thought they were all having fun together, and was quite surprised by their reactions, though her frustrated pout was adorable, if only there had there been anyone around to see it. Not bothering to get her clothing, Shampoo gave chase, bouncing after them as they ran! She did have to wonder why she had the sudden desire to speak in French... "Most womans be discouraged by now. Lucky for Airen, Shampoo no is most womans!"

"Where Shampoo little pocket monster go, Shampoo here for collecting!" Looking around, she was not seeing anyone until she came to the guest room he shared with his father, the door to which was barricaded, preventing it from being opened ...normally. A blocked door had never been an obstacle to Shampoo though, and even if it were, 'obstacles were for killing', so with a touch, she blew a hole in the wall. "Shampoo is locksmith of love, yes?"

As the hole in his wall opened, and the nude form of Shampoo stood behind it, Ranma bolted for the now open window. Shampoo put her hands on her hips, pouting again. "Is possible be too too cute?"

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Eventually, the game of cat and mouse ...and mouse, came to a close, with Ranma getting away long enough for Shampoo to catch Kasumi instead. Ranma got concerned, and had to see if she needed a rescue, never sure if he could trust the voluptuous vixen, and not willing to take the chance with Kasumi, who could not defend herself.

"Airen, come out now, want see what Shampoo do if no..." Shampoo held Kasumi down on the living room cushion, holding her other hand above her in a threatening manner.

"Oh my..." Kasumi's eyes went wide in surprise.

"Wait, stop! What're ya doin', Shampoo?"

Shampoo looked hurt, when Ranma jumped out to save Kasumi, while ignoring her all morning. "Shampoo see how husband play. Let see what do if Shampoo do ...this!"

Ranma dove to place his cursed body between the two young women just as Shampoo made a big show of tickling the both of them at high speeds. "Shampoo make pay for ignoring devoted wife, when only want make nice-nice! Why husband no play with wife? Shampoo only want make Ranma happy!"

Neither Ranma nor Kasumi were finding it easy to breathe under the specialized attack, their laughing filled the room, barely able to hear as Shampoo continued her assault. "Shampoo practice long, hard, and if this only way can make happy, then Shampoo do!"

Unable to take any more, Ranma-onna decided that their only defense, was a good offense, and launched a chestnut-speed counterattack! "Ya wanna 'play', fine! Nobody beats Ranma Saotome!"

Before long Kasumi had joined them, and all three of them were tickling each other and laughing, when out of the blue, they heard a, 'BWEEEEEEE!' as a small black projectile hit Ranma in the back. "Hey! Whaja-do-that-for?"

Shampoo picked P-Chan up by his 'collar', looking him in the eyes. "Stupid Pig-Boy! Why try ruin Shampoo fun?"

The small black piglet's eyes had gone a bit lower, and he was now spouting twin blood streams from his nose, before he was kicked into another prefecture.

Ranma watched as his rival faded into a pinpoint in the sky. "Well, that guy won't be back any time soon!"

Kasumi was shocked! "Oh my, how could you be so cruel to a defenseless pet?"

Shampoo gave the older girl an incredulous look. "Ryoga no is defenseless, and deserve for hurting husband! ...Wait, no know about that one's curse?" Shampoo looked at Ranma who was desperately shaking his head, before realizing what just happened ...and that Shampoo was still naked! He hung his head, turning away.

"You both knew, this whole time?"

"Why do ya think I always try an' keep 'em apart? I made a promise ta not reveal another warrior's weakness, before th' bastard used it ta sneak inta Akane's room... That's what starts all those fights!"

Kasumi was not sure what to think about this, her world was doing flip-flops, and many of the arguments she had witnessed were coming into new light, and she was not sure who was the most at fault, nor how to make things right...

"Why keep word, when Pig-Boy show no honor?"

"Cuzz, I gave my word."

"Stupid Ryoga broke first."

"That's not th' point!"

"Who else knows about this?"

"What was that, Kasumi-san?"

"How many other people knew about this?"

"I thought pretty much everybody but Akane did, I mean, just look at th' bandanna. It's obvious! That's why th' jerk's always tryin' ta kill me, it was ...kinda my fault." Ranma's voice grew weak at the end.

Kasumi looked concerned, wondering what could make anyone allow such a transgression to occur. "What do you mean, 'your fault'?"

Ranma explained how Ryoga had followed them to China after missing the duel, and how while chasing his father in a blind rage, he had not seen him, and accidentally knocked the Lost Boy into a spring. Shampoo giggled while listening to the story, making her nude body do ...interesting things, not that Ranma was watching, no, not at all... Kasumi was less amused. "That is a horrible story, but I do not believe that you were really at fault ...for that much."

"Try tellin' that ta Ryoga."

"Oh, I plan on it..." The aura Kasumi was giving off almost matched when she had learned about her father's 'deal' with the Chardin clan, and both Ranma and Shampoo backed away. "Oh, Shampoo? You should probably get dressed ...and Ranma, not telling Akane, in this case, is a larger stain on your honor, if you ask me." Shampoo pouted, but ran off to reclaim her forgotten dress in the changing room, while Ranma hung his head in shame.

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After retrieving her cheongsam, Shampoo found the others in the kitchen, where Kasumi had been waiting on her before serving lunch. Ranma and Kasumi had discussed various topics, from Ryoga and Akane to Hinako and the school. Shampoo was just happy to not have anyone upset at her, though she did take a bit of interest when the topic of Ranma and his teacher came up. Despite the opinion of certain people around town, Shampoo understood the value of learning things outside of the martial arts, even if she had little respect for the ki vampire. She wanted her husband to be strong, but her grandmother taught her that one could be both strong and knowledgeable at the same time.

Truly, it was only her immigration status that had prevented her grandmother from entering her into the same class as her husband, or she would be right there beside him! Admittedly, she had not planned to be in Japan that long, but even if she were not wanting to learn anything new, once they realized they would be staying for a while, she would have done it just to be closer to Ranma! She lamented the fact, as it gave the other main contenders a leg up, made worse with Akane and him living together as well. Although, she lamented, that could harm the girl's cause as much as it helped.

'Wait, what was that? Were they were talking about how to tell the Kitchen Destroyer about Ryoga's curse?' Shampoo perked up, she really wanted to see the look on her face when the other girl found out! "Ooooooo, let Shampoo tell! Husband no stain honor, and no is like Akane believe Ranma anyway!" '...and Shampoo get have fun!'

"Well, I suppose that WOULD take care of the problem..." Kasumi hesitated, something about that choice did not feel right to her.

"Ya think Akane'd believe ya either? I've tried ta hint at it, I mean, I call Ryoga 'P-Chan' an' stuff all th' time!"

"Is that what that was all about?"

"No is need, Shampoo prove! Just find Pig-Boy first..."

"Well, it SHOULD be me that tells, but I guess it doesn't matter who does it, I'll be th' one Akane blames anyway."

Kasumi frowned, not liking the idea of Ranma not taking responsibility for his part in this mess, though she did agree that he did not deserve the brunt of the blame. While what Ranma did was wrong, what Ryoga had been doing was much worse, and she knew Ranma regretted his part in the situation, but if Ryoga actually felt remorse over it, he would not still be posing as a pet.

"Let Shampoo help! Shampoo make sure wrath of too too violent girl be pointed in right direction..."

"I dunno, whatcha think, Kasumi-san?"

"I do not know, you will do it nicely, will you not?"

"It be nice." '...for Shampoo.'

The young woman looked so pleased, that Kasumi could not resist, and relented. "Then, if Ranma-kun does not want to do so, just be careful. Akane-chan is a very sweet girl, but is just a bit of ...violent maniac."

Giggling once again, Shampoo patted Kasumi on the back. "Onee-chan speak true! Now that decide, what we play next?"

That last question, reminded Kasumi of the time, and the fact that she had hardly done any of her chores! "Oh my! Look at the time, I need to get back to work, so much to do, just yell if you need anything!" Kasumi started clearing the table in a rush, when Ranma jumped up, and inched closer to the door.

"...And, um, I should, uh, really get back ta trainin', don't ya know..."

Shampoo shot a dirty look at Ranma, disappointed that he would not stay and help. She was torn, she wanted to spend as much time with Ranma as possible, and help him train, but could not leave Kasumi to do all of that cleaning on her own, not after they slowed her progress. "Shampoo decide, help Airen, by help Onee-chan!"

"Oh, Shampoo, you are a guest, you do not have to help. You two have fun training."

"No, Shampoo do husband part, while training. Onee-chan no should do all alone, no is right! Much to do, Shampoo help!" She had looked off to where Ranma had been, sad that he left, but glad to be of help to him. One day she would figure out what her husband liked, and then she could give him what he needed!

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Ranma felt like a heel, leaving the way he had, he couldn't secretly help them, if they knew he was there helping. But he also knew that with Shampoo there, he would have to be more careful, it would be much harder to mask his presence from her. The Chinese warrior's eyes and ki senses were much more finely tuned, he should probably try to focus on other rooms again, but that would not be as much of a challenge.

He decided to start off easy, and cleaned the living room, and ran to start the laundry while they were still doing the dishes, and felt he was ready for the real training. Doing his best to mask his ki, he snuck back into the kitchen, and saw Kasumi washing and Shampoo drying the dishes. Every time Shampoo turned to get another dish, Ranma would sneak behind her, grab a dry dish, and quickly put it away.

Before long, he was grabbing several dishes at a time, putting them all away before Shampoo had turned around, and she was starting to notice they were missing... "Wait, Shampoo sure was more dish here..."

"Hummm?"

"Is ...nothing." Shampoo kept glancing around, trying to figure out what was happening, being very careful of noting where she placed each dish, before turning to see it gone. "Know Shampoo put glass there, is gone! Is Shampoo go crazy?"

"Do not worry, that is just mother, helping us out."

"'Mother'? Shampoo thought was..."

"Dead? Yes. Eight years now, but mother's spirit has been helping me for a while now."

'Maybe Shampoo no is one who is crazy... but, what happen then?' "That sweet. Shampoo miss mother too."

"Oh, Shampoo, you lost your mother as well? I am so sorry!"

"Was too too little, no remember well. Grandmother tell of mens what want easy brides, fine brides no so easy... Mother defend village children school, include Shampoo. Shampoo father get childrens to safety while mother hold back bad mens. By time elders arrive, most mens dead, but was too late for mother."

"Oh, I am sorry, that is so sad."

"No, Shampoo proud! Wish mother live, but die defending others, is much honor! Mother defeat many to protect village, is big hero. Is happy story, many childrens live, because mother strong warrior, Shampoo be like mother too!"

Kasumi had taken Shampoo into a warm embrace. "You can be proud of your mother, and I can still be sorry for your loss. From what I can tell, you are very much like your mother, you are indeed a very strong warrior."

"Onee-chan is too too kind, Shampoo have long way go. Great-grandmother always tell Shampoo."

"Well, I think you are, and I feel certain everyone else around here does as well."

Shampoo smiled, blushing at the compliment. By the time the two young women turned around, they saw that all of the dishes had been washed, dried, put away, and the entire kitchen was sparkling. Kasumi did a small prayer, thanking her mother, that Shampoo tried to mimic, it was important to honor one's mother after all.

The two young women moved from room to room, cleaning, and seeing things seemingly being cleaned before their very eyes. Shampoo had been constantly trying to figure out what was happening, while Kasumi appeared to mostly ignore the strangeness, although even she was amazed to see that the laundry had not only been washed, but hung on the line to dry. At one point, while cleaning the guest room, Shampoo had felt something hit her arm, and upon checking, it seemed damp. She followed the path of the drop and met Ranma's eyes as he clung to the ceiling, a few beads of sweat still clinging to his face.

The surprised look on Shampoo's face told him he was busted, but he made gestures to keep it a secret, and she had managed to hold in her gasp, saving her questions, of which there were likely to be many. Ranma bolted from the room as soon as he saw that Shampoo was not going to give him away, planning to have a talk with her soon.

Kasumi was pleased, they had finished much faster than she could have ever expected, she was not used to getting helped herself, and it felt odd to her, even while she was grateful for it. "Thank you, Shampoo, your help was indispensable. I do not believe we could have finished that in time without you."

"Onee-chan is too too welcome. Nice to husband, nice to Shampoo, always happy help!" Shampoo beamed with joy, she would become the Tendos' maid, if it meant she could spend everyday with Ranma like that!

"Would you please go find Ranma-kun while I go make some tea for us?" Shampoo had raced out of the room before the last syllable had left Kasumi's lips, with only one thought on her mind, 'Get Ranma!'

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Ranma had gone back to the dojo, figuratively kicking himself for his failure, vowing to train even harder. He had been nervous about Shampoo's keen senses, and was trying too hard to mask his presence only to get spotted by more mundane means. He poured all of his frustration into speeding though a repetitive kata, moving so rapidly that even once Shampoo had entered the building, she could barely see her husband at all.

She wondered if his speed really could have improved so much over the last month? She would have to learn more. Ranma had always been better than her, but at this rate she would get left in the dust! "Airen? Onee-chan say come for tea, but first Shampoo have question..."

"It's my new speed trainin', I try ta help Kasumi-san, without being seen."

"Is THAT what go on? Shampoo impressed, but Onee-chan think mother helping, is nice?"

"I'm not sure, I think so, but, if I tell that I am helpin', then I can't really test my speed ...and not as fun if there ain't no risk a' bein' caught." Ranma threw a mischievous grin her way, before prostrating himself. "So, please, don't tell anyone!"

Shampoo's grin widened as well, looking at her husband. "Seem Shampoo have upper hand now! Ranma invite Shampoo for training, let help too. No even date, just spend time with Shampoo, and lip be sealed."

"Ya wanna train together? I guess that's not so bad... Ya gotta make me a promise too then."

"What husband want?"

"Just keep yer clothes on..."

Shampoo pouted, leaning in close, with her hand on the top fastener on her dress. "Shampoo curse body not only kitty scare husband? ...Or is think Shampoo ugly? Shampoo disgust Ranma? Shampoo think cry!" She turned her head away, hiding it in her hands, smiling, but making sniffing sounds.

"No! That's not it! Yer cute, too cute, it's just, Akane, an' all that, I dunno, just don't cry!" Ranma was backing up in a mild panic though Shampoo would not let him get far.

Shampoo had to fight to not squeal in delight when Ranma called her 'too cute', and continued to hide her face until her smile was hidden. "So what choose? Play nice with Shampoo, or go talk with Onee-chan?"

Ranma backed into the wall before drooping in defeat. "Fine, if ya keep it from the others, I gotta 'nuff problems with that this week..." Shampoo smiled and nodded. "Why ya gotta pull these tricks?"

"Trick? Shampoo only ask be treated like no is hated! You ask Shampoo favor, is wrong to ask one back? Shampoo love Ranma, today best day of life! Is wrong want husband want spend time with wife?"

"Oh my."

"That's only cuzza those dumb laws..."

"No! Law mean Shampoo marry Ranma, no mean must love! Shampoo love Ranma for Ranma!"

"How can ya say that? Ya barely know me!"

"Shampoo know! Everything about Ranma, Shampoo love! What Shampoo know, Shampoo love, what no know, learn love! If husband no good, no need keep after make babies. If no love, great-grandmother find other way out for Shampoo, like kill husband, no spend so much time to train and win over. Great-grandmother and Shampoo agree, Ranma worth try! Shampoo never want see Ranma hurt, even if mean Shampoo exile, or executed!"

"WAIT! Whaja mean ...'executed'?"

"If husband live, and Shampoo no win over, even grandmother no can save. Council have shampoo punished, but Ranma no worry about that, Shampoo only want Ranma happy, just know Shampoo make husband most happy! Shampoo and Ranma care about all same things!"

"How can I NOT worry 'bout that, knowin' ya could die? I don't wanna marry nobody, but ya shouldn't die cuzza it! That ain't right!"

"How awful!"

"No is Airen problem! Ranma choose Shampoo for Shampoo, not for 'dumb laws' as say. Shampoo laws no mean nothing to Ranma, yes? Why start now?"

"'Cause 'fore it was just yer forcin' yerself on me, but now it's different! I don't wanna see ya get hurt!"

Shampoo's heart swelled knowing he cared about her to some degree, it was a start! She had always felt that was the case, but it was always nice to hear it in his own words. "Airen protective nature, this why Shampoo love. Is strong, kind, handsome, and always help people. Everything Shampoo want in husband ...and self. Everything stupid Mousse not."

Ranma was embarrassed by the praise, and turned to face away. "Okay, fine, just promise ta keep my secret."

Shampoo erupted in joy, and could not decide if she wanted to jump for joy, or glomp Ranma. "Shampoo promise!"

"What secret is that, Ranma-kun?"

"About me helpin' ...Kasumi-san! ACK! When ja get here?"

"When Shampoo-chan said that today was the best day. Your tea was getting cold, so I came to check on you... Why would you want to keep helping someone a secret?"

"Well, um ...helping is its own reward, ne?"

Kasumi beamed. "Why yes, yes it certainly is."

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After tea, Kasumi mentioned something she wanted to do before Akane got home, and that reminded them of the time. Shampoo decided that it had been such a nice day, that she did not want to ruin it by seeing Akane until she had found Ryoga, and made her preparations.

Bowing, Shampoo headed for the door to get her shoes. "Come Nekohanten anytime, Shampoo always make sure visit extra special!"

Ranma felt a chill run up his spine, though Kasumi just smiled and waved. "Bye bye Shampoo-chan, see you soon!"

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Hinako had been disappointed by Ranma's absence, she had felt so certain that she had gotten through to him and they had made progress. Never one to give up easily, she decided that it was time to make another home visit. Maybe she could find out why he had skipped school, or at least get more insight into the root causes of the problems.

She was always impressed by the size of the Tendo estate, even more so when she compared it to her own studio apartment. Even after being turned down, she had held out hope of living there, but after going with them to China, she was starting to learn that while Soun was a very nice, if overly emotional, man, he was also a rather detached and neglectful parent and guardian. She had lost much respect for the man on that trip, and was mildly grateful to the children for interfering in her plans that day. She knew she was considered 'Christmas Cake' already, however her younger self was still growing, which could still give her a second chance if worst came to worst.

For now she had more important things on her mind. Knocking on the door, she heard a voice from within. "Akane-chan, would you please get the door?"

"Okay, Kasumi-nee-chan!" Akane opened the door, and her mood dropped the moment she saw who was on the other side. "What do YOU want?"

Back into her child form, Hinako was bursting with energy, also known as a 'sugar rush', from the several pieces of candy she had eaten on the way over. "I am here to find out why my baaaad student, Saotome-kun, skipped school."

Normally, Akane would be inclined to step aside, and let Hinako punish Ranma to her heart's content, but in light of the recent rumors, she was not feeling so generous that day. "Oh NO! Didn't you two see enough of each other LAST NIGHT? First dad, now Ranma? Go find your own man! If anyone is going to punish Ranma, it is ME!"

"Akane-chan, who is it?"

Slamming the door in her teacher's face, Akane replied to her sister. "Nobody, just a strong wind."

Akane started to go back to her manga in the living room, when a knock was heard again, this time harder, and louder. "Are you sure?"

Opening the door, Akane just slammed it back in her teacher's face again. "Just a female dog!"

"That certainly did not sound like Bess..." Hearing the knock again, Kasumi dried her hands and went to check for herself, to send the dog home. She was quite surprised to see the young teacher, and had to ask. "Did you just get here?"

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"Welcome back Granddaughter, I do hope you have a good reason for skipping out on your work all day."

Stepping over an unconscious Mousse, the young woman beamed at her matriarch. "Aiyaaa! Grandmother, Shampoo have most wonderful day! Was soooo worth whatever stupid Mousse had do! Spend whole day with husband, never be so happy! Even get promise train together!"

"At least it is Monday, and not too busy, but the dinner rush will be starting soon ...and then afterward, you can tell me all about it!" Cologne cackled as she hopped back into the kitchen to do her preparations for the next rush. "Now get in here and help me."

"Yeeees!" Shampoo bounced into the kitchen, grabbing an apron, and washing her hands. "Should see Airen now, is too too fast! Maybe get more fast than grandmother!"

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Kasumi had served tea to Hinako while she continued her dinner preparations. They talked about Ranma, why he had not been at school, and the general relationship between him and their family. Kasumi's tendency to understate the situation did require the educator to ask for clarification at points, trying not to be rude, or asking anything too personal, too often. Knowing how the girls felt about her and their father, she tried to avoid any direct questions about the man, but did learn a few things by proxy.

Kasumi explained what she knew of their father's plan to merge the schools by marrying their children together, including her guilt over her part in pushing Ranma and Akane together. She explained what she knew of the other girls who were after Ranma, for various reasons, leaving out some of the more personal reasons for Shampoo she had just learned. She was not aware of why the Kuno girl was after Ranma, only that he was clearly not interested, and had turned her down flat, on many occasions.

She then started to get into it, and started listed all of the horrible things she had known about Genma, and the awful things he had done to Ranma before they had arrived at the Tendo home. She started with the Neko-ken training, the multiple engagements, how the man almost never planned ahead or read things through, and how they ended up in Jusenkyo, and Shampoo's village. By the time she was done, her aura had grown to impressive proportions for someone with so little training, and the look on her face scared little Hinako.

"Sensei, it seems as if we are going to have an extra portion of dinner this evening, would you care to stay?"

Hinako's growling stomach answered for her, and she could only nod.

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The family had gathered for their evening meal, and the reactions were varied. Hinako was energetic, and occasionally tried to start a conversation with Ranma, who in turn, looked nervous. Akane did not look happy, and would occasionally shoot dirty looks at either Ranma or their teacher. Nabiki looked on with a mild amusement and a lopsided grin, just waiting for the fireworks to break out, and Genma was just thrilled that it was dinnertime. "Ah Kasumi-chan, you have outdone yourself! This all just smells wonderful!"

"Why thank you, Oji-san, that is very kind of you to say." Kasumi was serving the food, and had just come to Genma's place, when she tipped a glass onto the large man's lap. "Oh my, I am terribly sorry, honored uncle Saotome. I suppose you will be needing something different this evening." She pulled out a large platter of bamboo from behind her back, and placed it on the floor, outside of the door.

Genma looked at the hot tea kettle on the table, then back at Kasumi's stern glare, promptly giving up, he never could stand up to a strict woman.

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Thank you for reading, let me know what you think. ;)

Tune in next time for 'The Panda in the Doghouse' or 'Who's in Hot Water Now?'


	7. Chapter 7

Standard disclaimer for a non-standard story.

Chapter 07 - Grab Them by the ...Neko.

Sorry about the issues on the last chapter, I had some issues getting the document uploader to work.

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Over the next several weeks, Ranma's attendance record had continued to plummet, and Hinako was becoming more concerned with each absence. He had never been a model student, but he was at least usually present, even when he slept in class!

The more she had looked into the young man's life, the more disturbing it had become. She had read books about heroes with traumatic pasts that seemed tame by way of comparison, and this boy's just kept getting worse! Even her own troubles seemed minor in that light, it might be better to not have a relationship, if Ranma's life was the alternative.

She had been trying to pay closer attention to the dynamic between Ranma and the others, and she was starting to think she might need to have the school bring in a mental health councilor. She only had the authority to require it of a few of the participants, however she felt as if they could all benefit from some therapy, though none more so than their principal... On the other hand, she doubted she could get a large enough team to handle that mess... He was far more 'delinquent' than ANY of the students.

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Shampoo loved these afternoon training sessions with Ranma, and once she had explained the situation, her grandmother had not only readily agreed to let her out of working, but also promised to keep Mousse occupied during that time. She now had almost all of her afternoons available to spend with her husband, free of her most annoying pests. Even if the work was surprisingly similar, doing it with Ranma and helping Kasumi made it infinitely more gratifying. She had been enjoying it so much in fact, that she had not dared to risk anything, by rubbing it in the faces of her rivals, as tempting as it had been, she kept her word and their secret, which made everything all the more tantalizing.

She was a bit mixed on one aspect, but mostly agreed with Ranma, that caring about her, and wanting to help her, couldn't be a bad thing. So while she did not like misleading Kasumi, everything else about it, was a blast, and seeing Kasumi's pleased look when she would turn around to find something completed, was endlessly entertaining.

Not wanting to risk being caught by the other Tendo girls, they always left the yard to talk for a bit about how the day had gone, and as the days passed, they would talk about other things as well.

"Oi, Shampoo?"

"Yes, Airen?"

"Why is it, yer always so jealous and fightin' with those other girls, but yer workin' ta make Kasumi-san play with you?"

"Onee-chan like helping! Other womens try take Ranma from Shampoo, want husband no be happy, not be good, strong warrior! Make Shampoo fight for husband! Shampoo can no stand see Ranma so unhappy. But Onee-chan make husband happy, no try take from Shampoo, and no is fighter, so why fight, when play more fun? Look like need more fun!" The buxom beauty turned to face Ranma, looking into his eyes with a serious expression on her face. "Onee-chan work too too much. Shampoo proud husband use training to help. Good mens be find hard!" She grinned with a bit of lust in her eyes, but squashed it as she remembered another matter she wanted to discuss. "Airen? See pig-boy lately?"

"No, that jerk ain't been around in a while."

"Shampoo sorry, no can find yet, still look when can."

"Not yer fault, ya can never find the guy when ya need ta... but if it's a bad time, then ya know the bastard will show up. Soon as it's th' most inconvenient."

"Is true, like stupid Mousse."

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Kasumi could not believe how quickly her work had been getting done lately, even with reading the books she had borrowed and practicing what Ranma had been teaching her, she had been having trouble staying busy. Somehow, despite all of the problems she had been trying to work out, and as stressful as her home life had become, she felt renewed joy in tending to the housekeeping. The idea that her mother was out there, caring about them and looking out for her, was comforting, and it made her feel ...protected. Like when Ranma had been holding her in the hurricane! Kasumi blushed, wondering from where that stray thought had come... 'Are you trying to send me a message, mother?'

She was glad to find the dojo empty, and knelt down to pray, silently asking her mother to give her a sign. She had heard a noise, and when she opened her eyes, there was another set of lingerie, far more risque than the last! They did not look comfortable at all, and had holes in some rather strange places. There were items she could not even identify! She decided that the next time she prayed, she would ask for a more specific sign... maybe a note!

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"Onee-chan?"

"Yes, Nabiki-chan?"

"I was hoping to get your opinion on a few observations I have had over the last month or two." Kasumi paused and turned to face her younger sister who took that as a cue to continue. "You seem to be very involved in much of the action lately..."

"Whatever could you mean, I hardly ever leave the house, at least no more so than usual, and I never fight, you know that."

"That's not the kind of 'action' I am talking about." Seeing her sister blush was enough confirmation for Nabiki. "See? You know what I mean! If the kidnapping wasn't enough, then you have you running into Ranma naked, then later after that Kodachi incident, and of course there was last week, when you walked into the bathroom ...while Ranma was in there!"

"Oh my!" Kasumi's eyes widened in surprise as her mind flashed back to the scene in question.

"What? Did you think I didn't know about that one?"

"...more grown up than I thought..."

Nabiki was planning to keep listing examples, but noticed her sister had drifted off into a daze. Remembering her newly acquired photos, and the member, er model in them, Nabiki also had to refocus herself. "Well, intentional or not, that's between you, Ranma, and Akane, my point is that you are acting an awful lot like a 'Main Character'...!"

"A what? Do you think this is some novel?"

"No, of course not, it's not been that good these days, but that's doesn't change the way you are acting. Just be careful, it can be dangerous to be in the middle of all the ...action." Nabiki blinked. "Speaking of 'action', I have been noticing some rather sexy undergarments on the clothes line lately... Do you have anything you want to tell me about that? I know they are not mine or daddy's, and I doubt they are Ranma or Uncle Saotome's, so are they yours, or Akane's?"

"Oh my! Well, it ...I mean, I guess, they are mine?"

"Oh, well that makes sense, ...WHAT? REALLY? You went out and BOUGHT those skimpy things? Why?"

"No, of course not! ...Mother gave them to me."

"Ooooh, okay. ...Wait ...how, when? You can't be serious!"

"It seems that way..."

Nabiki stood there, her mind boggling... She wanted to ask more, but had learned a long time ago, that sometimes, when it came to her big sister, it was just best not to ask... Changing the subject, she decided to try again, not expecting much. "Are you SURE you don't want me to sell some of that jewelry for you?"

"Actually, yes, you can sell this piece, and keep the customary ten percent for yourself." Kasumi handed her a necklace she had pulled out of her apron pocket.

Nabiki's eyes bugged out! She had not seen that piece when her sister showed them to her, it was one of the most elaborate pieces she had ever seen! Why did her sister have that in her pocket? Was she just waiting her to ask? "Really? Are you sure?" She could not believe it, ten percent of the value could probably put her through at least a year of college, even if she were living on her own!

Kasumi nodded. "It is rather gaudy, and I do not believe I would ever wear such a thing, even if I were to..." Her face blushed brightly as she turned away for a moment. "...get married, and I believe we may be needing the money soon."

"What makes you think that?"

"I do not know, it is just a feeling."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

They had closed the cafe, and Shampoo had locked Mousse in his cage, er 'room' for the night, it was time for her to go on her nightly piglet hunt. There was no telling where the lost boy had gone, and she was not willing to scour all of Japan for the guy, especially not if doing that took her away from Ranma when he was treating her so nicely! If Ryoga ruined her opportunity she would personally cook him up and serve him at the cafe! What she had been doing, was to patrol Nerima every evening, looking for any sign of either of his forms. If the Lost Boy found his way back to town, she hoped to find him first.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

After closing her shop, Ukyo had gone out to one of her suppliers. She bought many of her ingredients there, so the owner regularly allowed her to come in after hours, since she was in school during his normal delivery times, and she would only be able to get deliveries on the weekends otherwise. She had most of her supplies sent on Sundays, but her storage capabilities were limited, and some things would not last, others would not keep. Fresh fixings were crucial to a perfect okonomiyaki!

She had almost made it to the outlet store, when she heard a voice that grated on her nerves more than almost any other coming from a nearby alley.

"Lai, lai! Lai, lai!"

Investigating, Ukyo saw what she feared, Shampoo was messing with something before swearing in Chinese and turning to leave. "No is right one! Shampoo no believe how many black piglet in Nerima! Lost boy deserve name!"

When Shampoo looked up she saw her primary rival blocking her way. "Hey Sugar, whacha doin' out here? Some new scheme ta trap Ranchan?"

"Shampoo look for Pig Boy!"

"Ryoga? Whacha gonna do, try an' set th' guy up with Akane-chan? I tried that once, what a blockhead!"

"No is quite. Shampoo tired Pig Boy use Airen honor for keep secret! No stain husband honor more!"

"Wait! What 'er ya gonna do? Don't kill-!"

"Why? Shampoo no let deception hurt Airen more! Maybe Kote-Girl like Pig Boy more than Ranma?"

"No! A' course not, but just 'cause Ah don't like someone, doesn't mean Ah wanna see 'um dead!"

Shampoo was sick of this hunt, and figured an extra pair of eyes would help, and Ranma did complain that he hated that the two of them always fought, so showing they can also work together, could make him happy! "Shampoo no kill, but no can guarantee Pig-Boy safety either. Only two way find out Shampoo plan. Help Shampoo, or wait, see, and Shampoo take all credit."

Of all the people Ukyo hated working with, Shampoo was near the top of that list, but if she was helping Ranma, then helping her was better than letting her rival get the recognition. "Ah'm listenin'..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi had been practicing the latest kata that he had shown her, but she was growing frustrated, and her moves were getting worse not better. Ranma was unsure what to say that would help, he had shown it to her several times, but she remained too stiff. "Ya need ta relax more, this is a 'water' style, so ya have ta flow with th' moves... Ya can't force yerself ta conform."

"I'm sorry Ranma-kun, I cannot seem to get this. I am just so clumsy!"

"Naw, yer not clumsy, Kasumi-san. Yer sister is clumsy, but ya got a grace that's rare outside a' th' art. Like a gymnast er a ...dancer. Have ya ever been t' a dance?" He saw her shyly shake her head. "I never went ta one neither, but fer me, that's 'cuz I hardly never went ta school, but ya did, so what happened? Nobody good enough?" Ranma chuckled.

Kasumi's eyes flew open. "Oh my, no. I just never had time for such things... I was always just too busy, taking care of the house and family. What must you think of me, to say such a thing?"

"That's too bad. I think yer th' nicest, prettiest person I met, an' ya deserve a guy that makes ya happy. Most th' guys I've met here, ain't good enough fer ya, that's fer sure!"

Kasumi was not sure from where this question came, but she had felt compelled to ask it. "What about you then? Are you 'good enough'?"

"Ya gotta be kiddin'? ME? No way! I ain't good enough fer nobody! Just ask anyone who knows me!"

As confused as she had been by her own question, his response almost blew her away with the force behind it. "Many people think you are 'good enough', even Akane-chan is usually willing to fight for you, and I am starting to think that there is not a person alive who really knows you, Ranma-kun."

"Whatcha mean? I ain't hard ta figure out, I'm just a martial artist, that's it."

"So are our fathers, but the three of you, are very different people, with very different motivations. I have been thinking about it, and almost everything I know about you, that I did not observe myself, was something I learned from another person's version of the story, not your version. I would like to hear more of your side of things, would you be willing to sit down and talk with me about them?"

Ranma was suddenly uncomfortable. He was generally a rather private person, and while he trusted Kasumi, he had serious issues opening up to people, it almost always ended badly for him ...one way, or another. However, he could not find a reason to refuse, so tried to deflect it a bit. "Well, I suppose we can talk whenever ya want, even now, but we should do it while we practice."

Kasumi nodded, and Ranma stood behind her. "Okay, now take up th' startin' position. ...Good. Now I'm gonna move yer arms and legs with mine, just relax, and let me guide ya though it." Ranma positioned himself directly behind her, pressing up against her back, and wrapped his arms around hers as he slowly moved her arms and legs with his own as they pushed their way through from one gradual move into another. "Just think of it like a dance. Tai chi is a defensive style, an' noted fer its grace and beauty, so it's perfect fer ya. It represents th' balance a' yin an' yang, an' th' harmony a' th' universe."

At first, when Ranma had positioned himself behind her, she was nervous, mostly about being caught, in what must seem quite lewd from the outside, but slowly the warmth from his body, the breath on her ear, and his gentle touch helped her relax. Soon her body moved without thought, and she simply enjoyed the feelings it had been stirring within her. The music she had been hearing in her head drew to a close as they completed the kata, and a disappointment she had not expected crept into her heart.

"See, ya can do it, if ya just relax, an' let it flow. Now, ya think ya can do it on yer own?"

Kasumi's embarrassment showed plainly as she tried to face away. "I am terribly sorry, Ranma-kun. I do not think I do. Would you mind terribly if we did that again...?"

Ranma felt suddenly hesitant, his unease growing stronger, but he could find no way to deny her request, and agreed. As they flowed into the kata once again, they were both too distracted to hear the sound of the camera's shutter coming from outside.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Akane had come home earlier than usual that day, her presence causing Shampoo to leave sooner as well. Not wanting Kasumi to have to pick up the slack, Ranma poured everything he had into getting as much done as possible while no one was looking. At the time, he was hanging the laundry on the line, trying not to be spotted by anyone when he saw the grand-master of their style stalking, like a panther, the image sending a chill down Ranma's spine. He had been in the middle of hanging the underwear when he had spotted him, and had a feeling he knew what was about to happen.

"Akane-chan's panties!"

Ranma stayed hidden, until the moment he saw the old man strike, and leapt into action. "Give those back, ya old lecher!"

"Oh, my boy, you want them too? You make an old man proud!"

Snatching the pilfered panties, Ranma hit the old man on the back of the head! "It ain't like that!"

"Close enough! Catch me if you can!" Happosai started to bound away.

Ranma smiled as he poured on some of his extra speed. "Oh I can!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi was hurrying to the backyard, she needed to get the wash hung before it got too late but was unable to find it! She was sure she had loaded it in the washer, but it was no longer there! She had been trying to think of what could have happened to it, when she heard a commotion. As she rounded the corner, Happosai ran past her, kicking up a breeze, causing her skirt to flutter as the small whirlwind blew by her. Ranma was too focused on Happosai to appear to pay much attention, but grandfather noticed...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Happosai assumed he must have let his guard down for Ranma to have gotten the drop on him so easily, but no matter, it was not as if he had really been trying very hard. Spotting Kasumi, the ancient martial artist kicked in the extra speed, and ran right for her, flipping her skirt in the process.

What he saw bewildered the man, but he could now be certain that it had been Kasumi who had been collecting his gifts. She was wearing red lace, with matching garter belt and stockings! The vision of the angelic Kasumi wearing such devilish undergarments was too much for the founder of 'Anything Goes', who collapsed as Ranma pounded on him.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Akane was livid, a feeling not wholly unusual to her, and she was using that anger to focus on the most productive training she knew, smashing Ranma-shaped dummies. 'The baka! What a month I've been having! It's just one perverted thing after another! Even with a teacher, and one who looked preadolescent most of the time no less! Are the girls chasing after Ranma already not enough, am 'I' not enough? Ooooooooh!'

She used to be the most popular girl in school, and now even the boys who wanted her, were lusting after her iinazuke! Boys! They were all just such PERVERTS! She had to get stuck with the one guy who chased after almost everyone, both boys and girls, and now TEACHERS TOO!

...She was setting up her fourth training dummy, when she heard her eldest sister scream and dropped everything and ran to see what had happened!

As she came around to the side of the house, she saw her sister holding her skirt down, and blushing, looking very much like Marilyn Monroe, Happosai holding his nose in a pool of blood, and Ranma, clutching something familiar in his hand. "Ranma, what did you do to Onee-chan?"

"It wasn't me, it was th' old man!"

"Yeah, right! I'll bet you were stealing underwear together again!"

"I wasn't! I was trainin'!"

"Ranma-kun, what is that in your hand there? Oh my!"

"Training? Your 'training', is playing with MY PANTIES, ...you BASTARD!"

"Oh Ranma, you make me SO PROUD!"

"Shut it, Old Man!" Ranma pounded him in the head again to emphasize his point. "I was DOIN' laundry, not STEALIN' it!"

"Oh my!"

"You PERVERT! Is that what you call training? Playing with our underwear? How DARE you? Only a real pervert like you would go that far!"

"Go how far? Ta do laundry? Ta help around th' house? Why's that perverted? Because yer too lazy ta do it?"

"BAKA! Leave it to you, to only be able to think of perverted stuff to do to help!"

"Uncute Tomboy! I'll have ya know I've been helpin' with ALL th' chores!" Realizing what he said, Ranma glanced at Kasumi to see if she heard it, the confused and hurt look on her face told him everything he needed to know, as he fell to his knees. "...Kuso!"

He did not have to feel badly for long though, as the darkness crashed into him.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Ranma-kun, Ranma-kun, whatever shall we do with you..." Kasumi had refused to allow anyone else in the room, especially Genma, while Ranma was recovering, making sure to take good care of him until he awoke. She had a lot to think about, and wanted to make sure she was the first to talk to him.

Ranma groaned before he opened his eyes, looked surprised to see Kasumi sitting next to him, quickly preparing a cup of tea and an analgesic to help with the headache he was sure to have. It still hurt to move, but Ranma never let that stop him, so he sat up to drink.

"Ranma-kun, so you were the one who has been helping me all this time?" Kasumi's calm face, waited patiently for the younger man's answer.

Ranma nodded, looking sad. "I'm sorry I didn't tell ya, but it was trainin', an fer it ta work, ya couldn't know..."

There was a sadness in her eyes, but Ranma could not meet their gaze. "So, then, am I to assume that you are also the one who has been taking the shrine offerings, and leaving ...gifts?"

"Huh? What er' ya talkin' about?"

Ranma looked dumbfounded, and Kasumi knew the boy had the worst 'pokerface' on the planet. She believed Ranma and that filled her with a happiness that surprised her. "Then I must thank you Ranma-kun. No one else had ever really helped me before, and you really made my life easier. You told Akane-chan that this was training?"

Ranma nodded as finally looked up into Kasumi's eyes. "Th' whole point of it was like th' rocks from before, but instead a' catchin' rocks, I was tryin' ta help you without you seein' me."

Kasumi felt a tear form in her eye. "That was ...very kind of you to use your training to help me, I cannot believe anyone would do such a thing for me."

"Well, Shampoo's been helpin' fer a while too... AH! No, don't cry, it's just, yer always so nice, it, just only seemed right. It's 'cause no one ever helps ya, that I just had ta!"

"Oh my, you have made me very happy, Ranma-kun!"

"Made you 'VERY HAPPY'?" The commotion outside the door had grown, and the both of sighed. Kasumi leaned in, and felt his forehead with her own, making sure he did not have a fever.

"I'm not sick, just a little bruised..."

"I know." Kasumi stood and turned toward the door before turning back to glance at Ranma. "I will be going to prepare dinner, you just rest and get better." Kasumi opened the door as Soun, Genma, and Nabiki scattered, trying to look innocent.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

The look Kasumi had given them, left no doubt that they ought to leave Ranma to rest, which gave him a bit of time before his father had stomped in, looking quite upset as he tried to kick his son out of his futon.

Ranma rolled backwards, resting against the wall. "Whatta ya want, Pops? Shouldn't you be chea-, er 'playing' shogi?"

Genma ignored the jab, and cut to the heart of the matter. "Boy! I've been noticing, you sure are doing an awful lot of 'woman's work'."

"Ya 'noticed' that, did you? Surprised, seein' how much time ya spendin' with th' old man lately, an' haven't mentioned it 'till now..."

"Sure did!" If by 'noticed' one meant overhearing Akane ranting... "That's not very 'manly', now is it, Boy?"

"Nope, hangin' out with th' pervert sure isn't, or how 'bout shirking yer debts, that 'manly' 'nuff fer ya?"

"And what 'debt' is that?"

"The one that all a' us owe ta Kasumi-san fer one! Both us, an' th' Tendos!" Ranma glared at his father. "We might be here as Tendo-san's guests, but that ain't who does all a' th' work in this house!"

"What does that matter? You're here for a reason!"

"Yeah, 'cause you an' Tendo-san got it in yer heads that forcing me 'n Akane ta marry each other was a good idea, an' ta do that, ya also force lots a' extra work on th' one person in this house who does anythin', makin' it three lives ya ruined, just with that one thing, an' that don't hardly scratch th' surface! If ya can't see how that means ya owe a debt a' gratitude ta poor Kasumi-san, then I gotta ask, 'Is there th' slightest shred a' honor left in ya, or ja even have any ta begin with'?"

"You'd better watch it, Boy!"

"...or WHAT? Whacha gonna do? Beat me? Yeah right, ya ain't been able ta do that in ferever!"

"Your old man still has tricks you haven't seen, don't think I couldn't take you out if I wanted to!"

"With how badly ya screwed up my life an' everyone else's ya touched, ya might as well! That's 'bout th' only way my honor can be maintained, thanks ta yer messes! So go ahead!" Ranma just crossed his arms and plopped down into a cross-legged sitting position, refusing to meet his father's eyes. "...I'm waiting."

"Don't tempt me!"

"Why not? Ya might have ta prove how ya word's only as good as long as it helps ya? An' without me around, ya wouldn't be able ta stay here, ya might have to get a job, an' carry on yer own school! Then maybe YOU'D be the one ta have ta marry Akane!"

"Why yooouuuuu...!"

"Ya ain't gittin' no younger, Old Man, an' I don't see no women willingly havin' yer babies, I can't believe anyone ever did! Admit it, ya stole me from another couple! Was that it, which hospital was it? Maybe I can find my REAL parents!"

"NO! I had an arranged marriage, like most of our family..."

"That WOULD be th' only way... Wait, what family? We got a family?"

"Nothing, we have no family, where did you ever hear such a crazy story?"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi had just finished setting the table, and begun calling the others to the table. As she rounded the corner to the stairs, she heard the voices coming from the guest room. She did not want to listen, but it was so loud, she could not tune it out. Some of the things she heard gave her a warm feeling inside, but other things made her blood run cold. She had waited outside of the door, trying not to interrupt, but only being able to listen to their argument for so long before she just could not stand it any longer.

Calm as could be, Kasumi walked into the room, bowing to Ranma, who was still sitting in the middle of the room. "Ranma-kun, if you would like to come to the table, dinner is ready. Perhaps you can discuss this ...another time."

Genma looked surprised, he was getting the distinct impression that he was being ignored. "Kasumi-chan, what about me?"

"I suppose you may come too." Quickly turning, she left the room, quickly followed by Ranma.

Going around the table, Kasumi started serving, as always, with her father first, but for his friend, she pulled out another platter of bamboo before moving on to her sisters.

"But, Kasumi-chan, I am not a Pan- ...da." Unseen by most of the household, and in the blink of an eye, the eldest Tendo daughter shot a look toward Genma that left his blood cold, and reminded him of another woman he had not seen in many years, before returning to her usual self. Frightened by the old memory, Genma took his platter in one hand, a glass of water in the other, and went outside before dumping the glass over his head, triggering his curse.

Seeing her sister give what must have been Genma's portions to Ranma, Nabiki was wondering what she missed. Things were getting much more interesting...

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Knowing he could not avoid everyone, Ranma did his best to remain scarce, heading in one direction, before doubling back, and heading for one of the most remote points on campus, furthest from the building. He had hoped to buy himself enough time to at least eat his lunch in peace. Kasumi's bento for him had continued to show pictures of him performing various martial arts moves, and this one was no exception. What WAS different, was that he did not recognize the move. It showed him, with his leg extended, and lines that seemed to show him spinning...

He studied the image for a moment, trying to figure out how he could do it, before he saw the words written in the rice, and laughed. "Ha! 'Tatsumaki Senpuukyaku', th' Tornado Whirlwind Leg? Where did Kasumi-san get th' idea fer this one?"

As expected, Ukyo was the first to find him, looking mildly annoyed, but glad to have found him alone nonetheless. Curiously, she looked at his lunch box, something about it struck a familiar chord with her. "Hiya, Ranchan, whatcha got there?"

The excited voice of the lavender-haired beauty preceded her as she hopped over the wall. "Shampoo know! Is from too too fun game, play all time!"

"A game? So ya know how ta do this move?"

Nodding enthusiastically as she bounced up and down, the young woman beamed with pride. "HAI! Shampoo know! Is quarter circle away, and kick! Come Shampoo room, show Airen anytime!"

"Huh? Whatcha mean, 'quarter circle away', an' what, just a side kick? I don't get whatcha mean..."

"Hey! Oooo, that's what it was! It's a video game! Ah remember that from my last school, th' boys used t' play it in th' arcade! ...Wait! Do ya mean ya have a video game in yer room?"

"Shampoo no can have?"

"Well, no, it ain't that, it just seems odd..."

"Why? Because Shampoo from small village in China, no can know about modern thing? Shampoo stupid, is what say?"

"It weren't meh who said it, Sugar. Ya did that yerself!"

"Ohohohoho! The strumpet walked right into that one!" Kodachi, in her gym uniform, wrapped her lithe body around the object of her affection, causing him to stiffen! Unfortunately for her, not in the way that she, and the others for that mater, would have liked if they were in her place.

"Delinquents! How dare you harass that boy on campus! Some of you do not even go to this school! Prepare to be punished!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

By the time Akane had found him, the melee had broken out, and the four women were each pulling on one of Ranma's limbs. Ranma felts as if he were being drawn and quartered, and had only wished he had been able to eat his lunch before the fight started... "Akane ...help?"

"RAAAAAANNNNNNMMAAAAAAA, you JERK!" After pounding the prone pugilist, Akane pulled out a bucket of cold water, dousing the lot of them. "Maybe you should cool off, Romeo!"

"The red-headed harlot is here too. Where did you go, Ranma-sama?" Turning toward Ranma's cursed form, Kodachi started pointing her accusing finger. "This is your fault! The moment you show up, Ranma-sama left, you must be put down!"

Ranma was paying the glib gymnast no mind, he had not even noticed the activation of his own curse, the pink and purple pussycat in his face preventing him from thinking straight, and still being pulled in several directions did not help matters.

Shampoo could not think straight as Ranma's panicked breath blew across the fur of her nether regions. She hated that she was causing her husband's fear, nor the hand upon her back, but she was feeling too good to fight it... Her purring seemed to make Ranma panic and breathe more heavily, which in turn, made her feel better, and instinctively purr more...

"You always like a naked girl in your face, so HERE!"

Hearing the low growls from her would-be iinazuke, Akane thought that perhaps she might have taken her righteous punishment too far...

The eruption of ki knocked everyone back as Ranma shot into the air! Seeing that no one was making an aggressive move, Neko-Ranma took off, running as fast as his shorter, female legs could take him ...which was incredibly fast. Even the ki draining from Hinako's coin did not slow the 'scaredy-cat's progress.

"Get back here, Baka!"

"Ah'll protect ya, Ranchan!"

"That strumpet won't get away from me! Ohohohohohoho!"

"Leave Saotome-kun alone, you delinquents!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

When one is chased, the feline instinct is to run, and running is what Neko-Ranma did. It did not take long before Akane and Hinako were left in the dust, and Kodachi took a bit longer, but Ukyo and Shampoo-neko were much harder to lose. The immediate threat passed, Neko-Ranma-Onna was distracted by a familiar scent.

It did not take too long to track down the origin of the heavenly aroma, and Ranma found himself pouncing into the kitchen where he saw Kasumi cleaning up the leftovers from their lunch. Seeing one of the few friendly people Ranma knew, the kitty started to rub its face on Kasumi's leg!

Kasumi jumped when she felt something brush her, and Ranma backed away from her sudden reaction. Seeing the fearful look in the young martial artist's face, Kasumi knelt down, snapping her fingers, and making kissing sounds. "Here kitty, kitty, kitty, it is okay, I will not hurt you..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Shampoo had changed back and fought with Ukyo for a time after losing Ranma, each blaming the other for their loss. It was not until they saw Akane run passed that they saw the futility of what they were doing while Ranma was still out there, lost, and they quickly rejoined the search!

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi relaxed on the back veranda, enjoying the warmth of the sun on her face and the other warmth in her lap. Even the excitement coming from the front door could not ruin her mood. She was glad to hear Akane say she was home, she had been worried she might have to move in order to answer the door.

Kodachi had not found them again and Hinako had to get back to her class, so the remaining three women split up, intending to search the house, when Akane thought to shout, "Kasumi-nee, you haven't seen Ranma, have you?"

"Why yes, yes I have."

Following the sound of the acting Tendo matriarch's voice, the other young women saw a MALE Ranma, curled up in a ball in Kasumi's lap, nuzzling his face against her!

The collective "WHAT?!" that filled the yard, woke Ranma, who sat bolt upright, looking around, wondering where he was, and what he had been doing!

"Ranchan, how could ya?"

"Airen! No need run so far, Shampoo right here!"

"Ranma, how DARE you, you PERVERT!"

"What-I-do-this-time?"

"How can you say that, when you are like that?" Akane pointed to Ranma and he followed her gaze to see Kasumi under him.

"Erk! How'd I get here?" He tried to jump up and run, but found himself unable to resist the gentle hand resting on his head.

"As if sensei wasn't bad enough, now you are hitting on my ONEE-CHAN? Can you sink any lower?"

Kasumi was too polite to say anything, but was somewhat offended by her sister's implications once again. 'What is wrong with me? Why am 'I' the lowest someone can sink? Am I THAT awful to you Akane-chan? Could I not also be desirable too? Just because I did not have all of the guys fighting for my attention in school, doesn't mean I am ugly, does it?' Unable to bear it any longer, Kasumi ignored her sister's continued rant, which was occasionally interrupted by the others, and focused on the handsome young man in her lap. "Ranma-kun, you do not think I am unattractive too, do you?"

"What? NO! Yer one a' th' most beautiful and feminine girls I know!" Still unable to move, due to Kasumi's hand, Ranma was forced to remain, even after realizing what he had said, and slapping his hands over his mouth.

"You ...BASTARD!"

Ranchan, how could ya?" Ukyo jumped over the wall, tears leaking from her eyes as she ran away.

"Even Shampoo no ignore that, Airen! Make up to Shampoo later! Shampoo be back!"

"I can't believe how DISGUSTING you are!"

'..I said 'one of'...' Watching Akane storm back into the house, Ranma exhaled, glad not to have been pounded while this close to Kasumi. ...'close to Kasumi! ACK!' "Um, could ya, maybe, let me up now?"

"I am sorry Ranma-kun, but could you allow me to be selfish, for just a little while longer? I always wanted a pet."

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Nabiki had heard what happened, so she quickly put someone else in charge of her afternoon activities, and ran home as quickly as she had been able. Neither Akane nor Ukyo had come back, and no one else knew what happened after Neko-Ranma ran off campus! It was up to her to find out what had occurred.

When she arrived, Kasumi was working in the kitchen, Akane was in the main room watching television, and Ranma was nowhere to be seen. She decided that Akane was the one who was there when it began, so she should start with her, besides, it was much more fun to rattle her scowling younger sister's cage.

Putting on her best smile, Nabiki casually strolled in, carefully gauging her mood, making sure she knew how far she could push her sister before it became detrimental to her health. "Hiya, Akane-chan, where's Ranma-kun?"

Akane did not waste a second before snapping out her answer between handfuls of chips, the crumbs from which were flying everywhere. "Who cares?"

'Quite a few people, many I am sure willing to pay for the information...' "Considering what happened at lunch, I would have thought you would. Did you have fun?"

"Fun? Chasing that pervert all over town? You have GOT to be kidding me!"

"So, what exactly caused that to start anyway...?"

"Oh you know, Ranma was being a pervert, flirting with those other girls, and Shampoo changed to a cat, and got in Ranma's face..."

"And you had nothing to do with that?"

"Of course not! Why would I? It's not MY fault the guy can't have lunch without being disgusting! I should have just gone back to class..."

"Well, if not you, then who else could snap the guy out of it?"

Akane glared at the back yard, where she had found her feline fiancee earlier that day. "APPARENTLY, it doesn't matter who it is!" Nabiki wondered what that meant exactly, but did not have to wait for long. "Kasumi!"

"Yes, Akane-chan?"

"Kasumi!"

"Yes, Akane-chan?"

"I can't believe it, rubbing noses with Kasumi-nee of all people!"

"That was not how it happened."

"I am sure, you two can be back to rubbing each others noses again in no time..." Nabiki couldn't completely cover her smirk.

"WHAT? No way! I'm done, we were never engaged in the first place!"

"Hey, if you are going to give Ranma away, I'll give you a hundred yen. Why don't you sell to me? I don't mind at all!" Nabiki smiled with yen flashing in her eyes.

Ranma stepped into view, waving his hands in front of his face. "Oh no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Akane is bad enough, but I am NOT going through THAT again!"

"Why you...!"

"Wait, you mean you would rather stay engaged to Akane, than to switch to me?"

"What's THAT supposed to mean?"

"If I HAD to make a choice... Which I'm NOT! I don't wanna marry ANYONE! Leave me outta it!"

"FINE, switch to whoever you want! I never asked for any of this!" Akane stormed out of the room, slamming every door she passed.

"So what do you say, Ranma-kun? I'll even wipe your books clean..." Nabiki knew a bargain when she saw one ...usually.

"Not a chance!"

Nabiki had been watching closely, but the boy had moved so quickly it almost seemed as if he had just vanished on the spot. She did notice that all of the spilled chips were now gone, and the room looked as clean as if Kasumi had just finished in there. 'Curiouser and curiouser...' She was so intrigued that she forgot how to think 'good Japanese'.

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"...But dad, first there was all the playing with our underwear, and then in one day, the guy flirted with Ukyo, Shampoo, Kodachi, and even Hinako-sensei, and then came home and molested Kasumi-onee-chan!"

"You did WHAT?!"

"I DIDN'T DO NUTHIN'!"

"Oh? Then your face was NOT in onee-chan's lap, rubbing all over each other?"

"Oh my, that is not what happened!"

"IS THIS THE KIND OF SON YOU RAISED, SAOTOME-KUN?"

"Well the master HAS been around an awful lot lately..." 'At least my wife would probably approve...'

"I AIN'T TH' PERVERT!"

"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO KASUMI-CHAN?"

"No one did anything to me!"

"There's no need to protect that idiot, I saw it with my own eyes!"

"But, that is not what happened!"

"Why are you taking Ranma's side?"

"I am not taking anyone's side."

"Well, you two do seem to have grown awfully close lately..."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, you KNOW what 'I' mean... What have you been doing together?"

"It's okay, Nee-chan, you can tell us. What did that pervert do to you?"

"I DIDN'T DO NUTHIN', I AIN'T LIKE THAT!"

Kasumi was getting frustrated, she could not believe that no one was listening to her. She just wanted to put an end to this whole ordeal and finish her cleaning for the day, and she had hoped by answering their question, it would do that. She was wrong. "Training, we were helping each other train. Now can we stop this? I have work to do..."

"What? You will train with Onee-chan, but not with me?"

"Ya get mad, an' think ya know better already! 'Sides, ain't fer fightin'!"

Still annoyed about being turned down so flatly, and always looking for a bit of entertainment, Nabiki decided to kick things up another notch. "Oh, then what, exactly, were you 'training' our onee-chan to do? Does it involve the word 'master'? Is that why you are always doing it so late at night?"

"How dare you corrupt my daughter!"

"You pervert! GET OUT! I NEVER want to SEE you again!"

"FINE!" With that, Ranma was out of the room before his after image faded! He then ran up to the guest room, gathering what he could, before leaping from the window, planning to get as lost as a certain acquaintance of his.

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I know that is kind of a mean note to end it on, but it works. Don't worry, you will not have to wait too long...

Thank you for reading! Come back next time for, 'Look What You Made Me Do!', or 'Hell Hath No Furries...'


	8. Chapter 8

If you think I own these characters, then I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you really cheaply, just three easy payments of just two and a half a million dollars each!

Without further adieu...

Chapter 08 - Who is guarding whom?

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"BWEEEEE!"

"There it is, Sugar, get it!"

"Shampoo see!" The two young women split up, each holding a thermos, and cutting the lost piglet off from its escape. Lead Shampoo on big chase, but now is over!"

Turning his head, the black piglet saw the comely Chinese warrior, and ran blindly in the opposite direction, straight into the sack Ukyo was holding. "Gotcha!"

"We test to see if real one here, or be nice and do where no can see?"

"Well, ain't that Ah care about th' guy's modesty, but if it IS Ryoga, we ought ta be ready, just in case..."

"Is good point, no want see that again... Hold bag still." Shampoo pulled out a small mallet and bopped the pig on the back of the head, who stopped struggling.

"Wait ...'again'?"

"No be first time see Pig-boy change."

"Did'ja need Mousse's glasses to see?" The pair giggled as they walked down the street together, preparing themselves for what was to come.

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Laying the small porcine face down on the floor, the two young women prepared themselves. "Throw water, Shampoo ready!"

"Don't let anyone in or out, Konatsu-chan!" Ukyo tossed the water, and the pig quickly shifted to a young, naked, man.

Shampoo moved in, and tapped the back of his neck, knocking him back out, before he could get away. "There, is done."

"Why didn't ya do that ta begin with?"

"Was in bag, might miss... and Shampoo only know human point..." The young woman mumbled under her breath.

"Konatsu-chan, please bring that cage."

"Hai, Ukyo-sama!"

Ukyo was about to splash the lost boy with the cool water, when something caught her eye, and blushed. Noticing what had distracted her nominal accomplice, Shampoo grinned. "Husband longer... no is for us anyway."

"Might as well appreciate it while we can, Sugar, knowin' Akane-chan, there is a chance it might not be there long anyway..." Ukyo shook her head, feeling sorry for the lost boy, but the guy made his own bed, now it was time to lie in it... She threw the contents of the glass. "Wait, when'd ya see Ranchan naked?"

"Many time, before show up. Come too too late to party."

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Shampoo was carrying a sleeping piglet, and bounding across the campus, calling out to anyone who would listen. "Come out, come out, wherever is! Shampoo make too too delicious Cantonese style sweet and sour pork for lunch!"

Finally she was spotted by her target. "P-CHAN! Come back here with my pet!"

The comely Chinese woman gently landed near her 'rival', keeping 'P-Chan' out of her reach. "No, is for husband lunch! No can have! If is pet, then take better care... found this one on other side town."

"That doesn't matter, give me back my P-Chan!"

"Is too too bad pet owner, no deserve pet. Maybe trade for Ranma, tell where hide Airen?"

"I don't know, I haven't seen that pervert in days! Now give P-Chan back!"

"No. Keep from Akane is too too easy."

"There ya are, ya hussy! Ya've gone after mah Ranchan fer th' last time!" Ukyo jumped down, striking the ground near Shampoo with her Baker's Peel, and kicking up a cloud of dust.

'P-Chan' flew out of the dust cloud and close enough for Akane to jump up and catch him, hugging him tightly to her chest. "It's okay now, those mean girls won't hurt you any more!" Akane stuck her tongue out, and turned to go back in the building.

"Think husband want FLAT foods from flat girl?" A water kettle few at the bishonen baker, who sliced it out of the air with her weapon of choice, sending the water flying in every direction, and soaking a certain piglet. Mission accomplished, the two young women continued their mock battle, quickly moving in another direction, heading off into the distance to watch the fireworks...

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Akane could not move, one moment she was hugging P-Chan to her chest, the next she was all wet, and holding a naked Ryoga in her arms, with him nuzzling her breasts. Everything felt like a dream, and not one of those flying unicorns and puppies kind of dreams, but a wake up screaming kind of dream. The two of them stayed as perfectly still as one of the photographs currently being taken.

Looking down into Ryoga's face, she noticed he was wearing P-Chan's neckerchief on his head. The she looked deeply into his eyes, seeing the tears welling up there, and almost felt sorry for him. ...Almost.

Those watching knew better than to expect an intelligible response from Ryoga at that point, but no one expected what came out of his mouth at that point. "Bweee!"

Now Akane knew she just HAD to be dreaming...

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Ranma's attendance had continued to deteriorate, in fact, he had not been to school in several days, not since that day at lunch. She had felt bad about having to give up the chase before catching the lad, but she had barely made it back to her class in time, and she had already used a lot of 'sick' days this year. Having made inquiries of the Tendo girl, she received a less than reassuring reaction, and figured if she wanted answers, she would have to go to the source. It was time to make another home visit!

Hinako did not supervise a club, so left as soon as her last class had ended, heading for the Tendo compound as quickly as her short legs would carry her. She was almost disappointed to have not run into a delinquent on her way out of the school, but pushed it out of her mind as she knocked on the door.

"Hai!" Kasumi came to the door, feather duster in hand, looking frantic, and mumbling under her breath. "So much to do..." She had grown used to the lighter workload, and without her unseen helper, she was feeling the strain. "Hinako-sensei, welcome. What brings you here?"

"Saotome-kun has not been to school, I was hoping we could talk about these continuing absences."

Kasumi looked saddened. "Ranma-kun is not here I am afraid, nor do I know if that will change any time soon..."

"You seem distressed, is something wrong? I want to help if I am able."

Kasumi quickly broke down trying to explain what had occurred, and was soon crying into the arms of the pint-sized professor.

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Nabiki could not believe the bit of news that had come out that morning, luckily she had been able to play off that she had known the whole time to most people, so as not to lose face, but she had been kicking herself mentally all day. The more she thought about it, the more obvious it seemed. So much of Ranma's strange behavior around the two of them, or rather, both of his forms, made much more sense to her now. All of the jokes, the jealousy, the nicknames, especially the nicknames! How could she have not seen it sooner? How could she be so blind?

She tried to console herself with the fact that at least she was not losing money on that bit of information, but the loss of missed profits was bad enough. If there HAD been a betting pool on it, Ranma would have cleaned up! She briefly wondered if perhaps she did not give the guy enough credit, but dismissed the idea almost as quickly. It just seemed too ridiculous to be probable, although...

Her younger sister had taken the revelation much more calmly than she could believe, if it were not just so preposterous, she would almost think Akane knew, and had either been doing it to get some on the sly, or just to make Ranma jealous, but there was just no way that was possible, was it?

Nabiki needed answers, and there was only one place to get them. As soon as the last class was over, Nabiki almost ran straight for her sister's class room, hoping to catch her before her club meeting. She was still kind of annoyed at her sister for running off her best cash cow, and did not even care that there were still other people in the room when she entered.

"So, Ryoga was 'P-Chan' this WHOLE time, and you DIDN'T beat the stuffing out of the pork roast over it?"

"Ryoga explained how all of it was Ranma's fault!"

"And you believed it? How, exactly, did the guy manage that?" It was not as if he was the smoothest talker in the world.

Ukyo walked over to her desk, staring at the youngest Tendo with a half-lidded stare and crossed arms. "That's easy Sugar, Ryoga just said, an' Ah quote, 'It's all Ranma's fault!', an' Akane-chan bought it like a half-priced okonomiyaki!"

Nabiki gave her sister an incredulous look of shame.

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Kasumi had extracted a promise from him that he would not go very far until she had time to try to calm everyone down, and straighten everything out, so Ranma had set up camp in the empty lot near the house. She had continued to make bento for him, each with another image of him doing some different special move. Today's had him in his cursed body, appearing to have launched forward, feet first, spinning in a corkscrew motion, with his warrior's braid trailing behind him. Above it, written in katakana, were the words, 'Spiral Arrow'.

Having all of this newfound free-time, he decided to see if he could figure out how these moves worked on his own, since Shampoo's explanation made no sense to him. It had been difficult to figure out from the simplistic picture, but it had also been a lot of fun. He loved to pour himself into the art, and nothing could compare to the feeling of success when he mastered a new move. In light of his recent trip to China, learning one called a 'Tornado Whirlwind Leg' amused him considerably, and the kicking variation of his chestnut punch was easy enough to figure out. He really needed to thank Kasumi for the inspiration, and not just the food.

The stress of the last few weeks had begun to melt away in the last couple of days, finally able to throw himself fully into his training, with almost no interruptions. It reminded him what life was all about, dedication, hard work, and perseverance, the foundation of the art. Most people needed a long soak in a good hot spring to feel as relaxed as Ranma did through meditation and focus, he had rediscovered an inner peace he had long forgotten. Many in his position might have been emotionally crushed, but he felt as if an enormous weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

Most of that shattered like the stone he had just kicked when he had received some unexpected company. He had been expecting a visitor, it had been about the time Kasumi normally came to pick up his lunch box, but seeing an adult Hinako-sensei in the lot was not something he had expected. The unhappy look on her face did not bode well for his peace of mind either, and like a wave crashing down upon him, the stress of his daily life washed back over him. 'Great! Just what I didn't need...'

"There you are Saotome-kun! Finding this place was harder than I thought..."

Nabiki would have been proud of Ranma's deadpanned expression. "I would'a thought th' exploding rocks would a' been a dead giveaway." Ranma walked over, and met her part way. "Sorry I ain't got no tea er nuthin' ta give ya. Just water, and only th' one cup..."

"That is okay, I am not here for that. I just want to talk to you, ask you some questions. Is that all right?"

"Not really in th' mood ta talk, but I guess I ain't really got a choice ...do I?"

"How are you feeling?" Ranma just grunted and shrugged. "Is there anything you DO want to talk about?"

"No."

"Well how about I start by asking about what happened the other day? You were acting strangely there near the end."

"Could say th' same about you too... But I never remember what happens when I'm like that..."

"When you are 'like what'?"

"The Neko-Ken, it's one a' th' many stupid trainin' ideas stupid pops had..."

"That was training?"

A shiver ran up the young man's spine as he remembered the actual 'training' he had suffered. "Well, n-no. The t-trainin' was ta tie me up in fish sausages, an' throw me inta a pit of starvin' cats. An' ta keep doin' it until I 'mastered th' technique'. But a' course th' idiot didn't read th' other page, ta see th' downside."

"That is HORRIBLE! How could anyone do that to a child?" Hinako had even caught Ranma's eye as she jumped up in outrage, and shook with rage in an outfit that barely concealed her now ample figure.

Recovering far more quickly than most boys his age, Ranma tried to lesson the outrage, and keep her jiggling from making him feel ...uncomfortable. "I mean, ya know, it could be worse, there's been some fights where I couldn't a' got out a' it without that, but that's been a while... not since th' old ghoul started trainin' me... now it's really way more trouble than it's worth."

"What is this 'downside'?"

"Ya saw it fer yaself. Cats, can't stand um, an' ta trigger th' move, I gotta go all 'neko'."

"What do you mean, you 'go neko'?"

"I get strong, but I blackout, stop bein' me, stop bein' a person. Look, I really don't like talkin' 'bout this, can we change the subject?"

Hinako let a slight grin creep across her face. "...If it makes you feel any better, I ran into your father on the way over here, you will have no trouble from that one for a while..." Well that explained how Hinako got into her adult form! "I know 'I' feel better."

"Yeah, whatever... Can we just keep this 'tween us, it's a touchy subject, I don't want it gettin' around any more 'en it has."

"Of course, if you want, I will keep all of this confidential. I am here to assist you, not bring you harm." Hinako looked sadly at her student. "Do you have no where else to go, no other family?"

"'Other family'... That is a good question, but I ain't got any I know about anyway." Ranma glanced back toward the Tendo estate. "Well, I had offers fer places ta stay from a few places, but it don't feel right ta mooch, or whatever... an' goin' ta one'll just make th' others mad... Maybe I'll just go on a training trip, it's not like I got any reason ta stay here much longer anyhow... Only stuck around this long, 'cause I promised Kasumi-san."

"Why don't you stay with me? My apartment is small, but it is warm and dry, and most of the time, I do not need much room! You can have a safe place to stay for as long as you need."

"I don't think that's a good idea, an' I don't wanna mooch off a ya neither, but thanks anyway..."

Hinako got serious, this was more difficult than she thought. "Saotome-kun! As your teacher, I cannot let you do this to yourself-!"

"That's just a formality, I'll be droppin' out soon enough..."

Hinako looked panic-stricken, that was absolutely something she could not allow! "No, you can not do that! Learning is important, no matter what you want to do with your life, you will go further and do better with a good education!"

"That's what Kasumi-san said too, but it ain't like I can ever learn nuthin' there, no how! I can't believe anyone does, and if I try, everyone gets mad at me. It's just not worth it! Better ta just train myself, by myself in th' woods."

"You need the lessons though! I promise, we'll have lots of fun!"

"Like last time? No thanks. Why'd ya think I'm in this mess?"

"That was a misunderstanding!"

"It always is..." Ranma sighed, getting tired of the conversation. "Why'd ya even care? Shouldn't ya be glad ta have one less 'delinquent' ta worry 'bout?"

Hinako's head drooped. "I was wrong, that is partially why I need to make this up to you. I have been used by the real delinquents to hinder you, and while you are not perfect, you are much closer to a hero than a delinquent. Do you honestly think I would stop worrying about you, just because you are no longer in my class? Do you not think I would blame myself if I did not try to make this up to you? If I had gone with my initial instincts, and not been mislead, much of this could have been very different..." The pleading look on her face was mostly wasted.

"Look Sensei, all I need is this, right here, th' art, nothin' else matters. I don't need school, I don't need a house, er a dojo, an' I certainly don't need a bunch a' girls chasing me around ta beat me up er do 'who knows what'! It's just too much, makes no sense!"

Hinako was confused by his last statement, was he unsure with these girls, or was that a general statement of confusion, did he 'really' not know? The poor boy's education might be lacking a lot more than she had first thought, but she tried to remain focused.

"I don't care if that means I gotta go back ta livin' off th' land, an' just wanderin' around, nothing else matters. Intentional er not, people just hurt ya anyway."

Hinako's heart just went out to the boy, to be that distrustful of people at such a young age, to have had such a hard life. "Please, Saotome-kun, give me a chance. From what I have learned, this has been the closest you have had to a stable home life, and this has been far from stable. I have talked with Kasumi Tendo-san, and we agreed, you need a home, a place where you can be safe."

"Yeah, great, more people decidin' what I need ta do with my life..."

"Come on, let me try to show you what you have missed out on in life, that it CAN be better. You do not have to stay if you find you don't like it, but I am only asking that you allow me this opportunity. Just look at all of the mistakes your father made due to a lack of an education, do you wish to turn out like that?"

"HEY! I Ain't nuthin' like th' Old Man!"

Seeing an opportunity, Hinako tried to exploit it. "You are correct, your father has better grammar."

"HEY!" Now it was Ranma's turn to jump up in outrage.

"It is true, your father not only speaks, but also writes much better than you, though I cannot speak on other subjects. I can say that if you want to not only end up like your father, but worse, then just keep right on this path." Hinako waited a moment for her words to sink into the boy's skull. Seeing him relax a bit, she knew she had him at least partially hooked, now to real him in. "Saotome-kun, I am trusting you enough to allow you to stay with me in my small apartment, and considering our history, I believe that should tell you something. All I ask is that you give me a chance to help you. Maybe we can even help each other."

Ranma did not like the idea of staying with anyone else, let alone another woman, however she was making it difficult to refuse... At least if there was something he could do to help her, it would make him feel a bit better about 'mooching'. "Fine..."

"I told Kasumi Tendo-san that I would return your lunch box, so if you would like to write a note, I will deliver that while you pack up your things. Then we can take your belongings to my place, and go get something hot for you to eat for dinner." Hinako was overjoyed as she shrunk back down to her smaller proportions.

Ranma wrote a short note thanking Kasumi, and handed it to his homeroom teacher before letting out a deep sigh, he had little hope that this would turn out better than any other attempt.

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Ranma followed Hinako until she tried to take them on a bus. He pointed to his pack. "Well, first, I don't wanna try an' take this thing on a bus, an' 'sides, it's quicker ta run."

"Run? It's a couple of kilometers!"

"Won't take any time at all. Just tell me where ta go." Ranma picked up the petite professor and deposited her on his shoulders, between his head and backpack, allowing her to use it as a backrest. Ranma did not trust the temperamental tutor to stay focused, and held her legs as he launched himself into the air.

Hinako was screaming in excitement, and waving her arms around, as if she were on a ride in an amusement park, and by the time they arrived at her apartment building her adrenaline was pumping so hard, she could not stand still. "Come on, Onii-chan! Let's go inside!"

When Hinako opened the door, Ranma could not believe his eyes, while she had warned him that it was small, he had expected more than essentially one room, but that was not what had shocked him, it was the messiest place he had ever seen! He was not sure if it was his time spent with the meticulous Kasumi, or if this would have always bothered him, but it was just too much for him to take.

"Come on in, we can order delivery and play games, or watch Doraemon ...or, or, or Kyouryuu Sentai Zyuranger!"

Ranma held her back with a hand on her shoulder. "Wait, don't go in there yet."

The exuberant educator looked confused but hesitated, unable to believe what happened next. Ranma seemed to vanish, backpack and all, and her apartment started to clean itself, it reminded her of the Disney movie, Fantasia! Her toys put themselves away, the clothes went to the hamper, her graphic novels and tankoubon stacked and organized themselves, the bed was made, the trash was sorted and thrown out, her games, her dishes, the whole place was dusted and sparkling by the time Ranma had reappeared beside her seconds later. "Woooooooooow! Are you magic too?"

"Well, there's th' curse, ya know 'bout that, but that's it." Seeing the slightly disappointed look in her face, Ranma changed his tune... "Well, guess I can do some 'tricks' though..." Setting down his pack, he used some minor sleight of hand feats to entertain his host until she glanced at the clock, and gasped.

"Oh no! It's too late to order delivery, and I do not have much of a kitchen!"

Ranma got up and rummaged through the kitchenette, then his backpack, gathering up a handful of items. Before long he had served up a passable vegetable curry out of what he had found lying around and some seasonings Kasumi had packed for him.

Hinako dug into her meal with gusto, after thanking Ranma for the food. Ranma felt strange, it was a very rare thing indeed for him to eat with someone who made him feel like a slow eater, and it almost put him off eating ...almost.

After finishing, and thanking him again, Hinako was rather impressed. "So, Saotome-kun, you can do all of these amazing things, and yet you think you are not smart enough to pass your classes?" Not even waiting for a response, the shrunken sensei continued to speak. "The distractions in class notwithstanding, I believe your main problem is that you did not get a good foundation in your basic education, and now we are asking things of you that in many cases you are ill-equipped to figure out. I am convinced that if someone were to fill in the gaps, and slowly take you through what you have missed, you would be capable of going from one of the worst to one of the best students in class. It is also my sincere hope, that once you get that foundation, you will find the classes more interesting, and we can have more fun!"

Ranma shook his head, unable to believe Hinako was capable of teaching anyone anything, other than how to be a pest, but the motivation to be a better man than his father was a strong one, and since he had few options he was willing to take, he told himself that he would give this a serious shot. "Fun, right, I kind a' doubt it... but I guess I got nuthin' else ta do, so..."

"That's the spirit! To be honest, with how you did on our practice test, I am actually amazed you passed the entrance exam..."

"Th' whaa'?"

"The test you had to take to get into school..."

"I got no idea what ya mean, I never took a test. I found out I was goin' ta this school th' morning a' th' day I started. Arrive one day, after breakfast th' next, they hand me a book bag an' say, yer startin' classes with Akane!"

"I know I saw one in your file... Although, now that I think about it, the handwriting did not look much like yours... I had just thought you had been much more careful that day... I suppose that is one more thing I need to examine more thoroughly... That WOULD explain a lot." Hinako ran over and gave him a quick hug. "But all of that can wait for tomorrow, for now let's get cleaned up and watch some shows!"

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When Ranma came out of the bath, after having done the laundry and cleaned the bathroom, Hinako had already fallen asleep, sprawled out on the bed. He did not feel comfortable sleeping in the same small room as a women, and decided he would go sleep on the roof. Taking one of his blankets, he found the apartment door was locked, and he did not want to take the only key. The only other way out was the window, but that meant climbing over Hinako, which still seemed preferable to sleeping in the same room, so out he went.

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Shampoo and Ukyo could not agree to allowing only one of them to tell Ranma the news about Ryoga, so they finally agreed to meet as soon as their respective restaurants were closed, and tell him together. Once they arrived at the meeting spot, both of them were mildly surprised the other held to the bargain.

The two young women had been disappointed that Ranma had turned down their offer of a place to stay, but took solace in the fact that he had not been staying with the other one either. Each of them had brought him food when they could, and told him that they would feed him if he came to their place anytime he was hungry, although thus far, he had not taken either of them up on their offers.

Surprising the pair, they had not fought during the entire walk to the empty lot, and had even laughed a shared joke. It was not until they arrived at the lot, and found that it was in fact, truly empty, that the bickering began.

"Kote-Girl do this, come to lot, tell husband!"

"How could Ah? Ah got a restaurant ta run, ya make deliveries, ya probably did it!"

"Why Shampoo come if tell?"

"Same here."

"Is good point." Both of them had a sudden realization, and started to worry. "What think most likely? Airen run away for training?"

"Or went back ta th' Tendos?"

"Or worse, go crazy Flower Girl house?"

"No way! Not on purpose! Oh no..."

"Wait! Before panic, Shampoo go ask Onee-chan."

"Yer not leavin' me out!"

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Leaving the Tendo estate, the two young women waved at Kasumi as they plotted what they were going to do to a certain teacher, the next time they met... Knuckles were cracked and battle auras flared, as the pair found themselves in agreement yet again. Something they found it strange to be able to say that was becoming a familiar feeling.

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Spending the night on the roof was only slightly less comfortable than his tent, and he did not have as much room to practice, on the other hand, access to facilities that his 'campsite' did not. Roughing it was fine, but he did not have a lot of spending money for the public baths or laundromats. Being clean was nice, and something to which he had grown accustomed since his arrival in Nerima.

Having already gone through his morning workout, he was ready for some breakfast, and had hoped he had given Hinako enough time to wake up before he tried to climb back down the wall. He had not wished to disturb her sleep after all, and the only window truly large enough for him was over her bed, so there was always a risk. Unfortunately for him, when he got to the window, he found that it was blocked! One of her toys had gotten lodged between the window and the wall.

The sun was starting to rise, and he was hanging from the windowsill, of a fourth floor apartment. The door was locked, and the window was stuck, he had few options, so lightly tapped on the window.

"KyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaAAAH! A peeping Tom! Happo Five Yen Satsu!" Regaining her adult proportions, she felt as if she had just slammed a pot of cappuccino with some No Doze, and belatedly realized that had been Ranma and remembered he was now staying with her.

Ranma had barely been able to maintain his grip on the windowsill, luckily his battle aura was strong enough to handle several of her weaker drains. As soon as Hinako fumbled with the window and managed to get it open, he scurried inside. "Um, good morn'n ta ya too." He tried to bow, however something she had not noticed, caught his eye, and he quickly averted his gaze. "Erk! I'm-sorry-I'm-sorry-I'm-sorry!"

Seeing the young man's reaction, she glanced down, only to realize that the shirt she was wearing as a night shirt, while a long shirt on her child form, was a normal sized, if not a bit small, tee-shirt as an adult, and to make it worse, in her sleep, it had ridden up quite high! Quickly, she pulled her knees up to her chest, and pulled her shirt over her knees, only to realize that left her even more exposed in some ways, then grabbed the bedsheet. "I am sorry Saotome-kun!" Quite embarrassed by many things that morning, she blushed profusely. "I kind of forgot you were staying here..."

"Whatever, it's still nicer than any mornin' greetin' I ever got from Akane..."

'How bad WAS their relationship?' "Now, what were you doing out there? Why would you need to go out there to peep on me when you were in here already? Or is that part of the thrill?"

"I wasn't 'PEEPING'! I jus' didn't feel right about bein' in here when yer sleepin', so I slept on th' roof, an' even if I hadn't, it was a good place ta do my morning exercise-..."

"Oh no, Saotome-kun! I invited you here, you are allowed to sleep inside. What good is it, if you are still sleeping out under the elements?" She had leapt forward, intending to hug the boy, to reassure him that he was welcome, and appreciated, only to see him flinch and turn away, having forgotten once again, that she was almost naked.

"Yeah, whatever... I, uh like th' roof."

Hinako looked around and saw the clean apartment, and her clothing that was hanging up, dry and ready to be worn. "You even did laundry last night?"

"Well, most a' it..." Ranma blushed, turning away. "I only got a few outfits, and needed ta wash them too, so I washed everything, well, everything I found anyway ...I didn't see no underwear, so I didn't wash none a' that..."

Ranma's voice dropped so low that Hinako barely heard the last half of what he had said, but heard it she did, causing her to cover herself up more, blush, and look a bit offended in response. "Well, if playing with my underwear was your goal, then I have bad news for you, I do not usually wear any. I am not in my adult form long enough to require a bra yet, and I cannot find panties that will not either fall off in my child form, or be too tight in my adult form. Not to mention, no one likes panty lines..."

"I got no clue what you said at th' end there, but I understood enough to know I didn't mess up and miss them, an' all a' yer clothes are clean an' dry.

"Do you mean to tell me that you did not notice that back when you were groping me, when we first met? That seems like the first thing a boy your age would have noticed in that position..."

"NO! A' course not! I ain't no pervert! Only thing I was lookin' fer were those pressure points!"

"Oh you found some..." Hinako's innuendo went completely over Ranma's head, but without her noting it.

"Yeah, but took too long... Like I don't got enough problems with people thinkin' I'm a pervert!"

"Did you not think how it might appear to others?"

"Not really, I got no idea, I should a' figured, since it came from th' old fart though... I wasn't tryin' ta do nuthin', but ya were attacking everyone, even people that didn't deserve it, an' it's a martial artist's duty ta protect th' weak, no matter what I gotta do!"

"Is that how it looked to you? I was the bad guy? But I am the one who was supposed to stop the delinquents!"

"Maybe, but ya didn't care who got in yer way, an' ya were hired by principal Kuno! Ya know ya can't trust nuthin' from that coconut!"

"Point taken." Hinako wanted to argue that she was the good guy, and that we should always trust the people in authority, she knew she had no case, especially when talking about the principal.

"Ya might think it's no big deal ta drain people, cause it don't really hurt nobody directly, but if ya don't take care who you hit er when, ya could hit someone who really needed that strength at that time, er someone on their way ta work, er whatever..."

Hinako thought about this, it was true, she could admit that she might occasionally get a bit 'overzealous', but it was all in the name of discipline! She was only doing what she had to do, was she not? Her job was to stop delinquents! Then she thought of something that might motivate the boy, if even her second biggest weapon, sex appeal, didn't work, then this would take a unique approach. "Saotome-kun? I will make you a deal then, if you study, at least make an honest effort for me, prove to me that you are trying, and I will make you my assistant when you go back to class. You can help me to take care of problem students, and help me to know when I go too far. You will learn, and you get to help protect the helpless. We both win."

"Is that possible?"

"Sure, I can make the arrangements, I will make Kuno-san agree!"

"More than one winner... who'da thunk it?" While that concept rode contrary to everything Genma had taught him, and he knew his father was an idiot, but one winner, one loser, it just made sense... "But, how long do ya expect this ta last? These things usually resolve themselves rather quickly..."

"As long as I can keep you away from that abusive bastard!"

Hinako had mumbled under her breath, and Ranma not been lost in thought, not really hearing what she said. "What was that?"

"I said, 'You can stay as long as you want, until you have mastered what you need'!" Hinako turned toward him, with a twinkle in her eye, and a smile upon her lips.

"Uh, sure, whatever, just, fer now, I'll just keep facing the wall here with my eyes closed, while ya go get some clothes on. Ya can just tell me when yer done."

The relief she had felt when her initial reaction had been mistaken, was being replaced by a minor annoyance. "Well, technically I have SOME clothes on, but am I that hideous? Is it that you do not like older women? Am I offensive to your sight?"

"No! It's just, I ain't no pervert!"

Hinako had a stray thought and an impish grin cross her beautiful features. Being stuck in her child-like body, she did so love to flirt when she had the option, and she wanted to test a theory she had been building. "Not even if I were to give you permission? I haven't, but if I did?"

"NO! Why would I wanna look at anybody naked?"

"For the same reason everyone else also wants to do it. It is normal to want to look, it just isn't right to go peeping, you should not look at people who do not wish to be look at, but it is normal for a boy your age to want to look-."

Ranma cut her off, his instinctive responses far to ingrained. "I ain't a pervert!"

Hinako saw the boy perceptibly flinch at the denial, almost 'programmed' response. "So you keep saying, but do you even know what that means?"

"Well, sure, it's like, stealin' women's underwear and lookin' at 'em naked, an' stuff... stuff like that? Like th' old man."

"Sort of. Stealing is wrong, and stealing underwear is also always wrong, but it is technically only 'perverted', when you use that to satisfy your lusts."

"Do what now?" Ranma had no idea what she was talking about. "What like the old fart's collection?"

"Well, yes, no, maybe, probably... Technically it would depend on what Happosai does with them, but that would take a while to explain. Let me ask you this, 'Have you never had a desire to look at naked women ...or men?"

"No! Not either, really, 'sides, I'm half girl, an' I see myself all th' time, so, even when yer prettier than I am, it ain't really a big deal ta me, ya know?"

Hinako blushed, even if it was her student, it felt nice to be called 'pretty', especially by someone who was ...apparently NOT looking at her as only a sex object, and certainly not saying it just to win points with her, it was just the boy's honest opinion. It was not as if she could go out as an adult whenever she wanted, and even when she could, she was always on a timer. "Then why are you so afraid?"

"Ranma Saotome ain't afraid a' nuthin'!"

"Except a naked woman..."

"I ain't scared!"

"Fine, then prove it, turn around and look at me."

"FINE!" Ranma turned around, defiant to the end, yet still flinching, expecting to be struck. Instead, what happened was he saw Hinako, in her ...favorite yellow outfit, complete with make-up, ready to go to school, and giggling away as she shrunk back down to miniature proportions.

"Good job, Saotome-kun. We will make a man out of you yet!"

"Hey!"

"Now, I washed up while we were talking, so get your bath and get dressed, then lets go grab some breakfast before it gets too late."

Ranma was depressed at the sudden realization that she was making him go back to the school, but resigned himself and got ready. "If you want to get food, I can save you time by cooking here..."

"Oooooh? Then we will go shopping on the way home!"

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Even before they had arrived that morning, the rumors were flying, but that seemed downright calm when compared to what happened when Ranma landed at the gate with Hinako on his shoulders. The explosions of sounds make Ranma almost think he was under attack, and perhaps in a way, he was.

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Ukyo was waiting by the gate when Shampoo arrived. The two had planned to ambush Hinako, however the fact that she had gotten Ranma to return to class made Ukyo a bit more reluctant to act. She had gotten her normal access to him restored, and while she did not like him staying with the part-time sexy sensei, she was doing better than her main rival.

As would be expected, Shampoo was less than thrilled, she had been doing quite well before Akane had kicked him out, and even then, she could visit him at any time, but now she was back to hoping for random encounters! Something had to be done! "Shampoo say still do plan!"

"I dunno Sugar, maybe we should see what th' plan is... If Ranchan is happy, then attacking Sensei wouldn't be good..."

"Shampoo no care! Keep secret! Any what try take Ranma from Shampoo, Shampoo make pay!" She gave a sly look to Ukyo. "No can use against Shampoo, Kote Girl need come too!"

"No, wait! Let's at least talk ta Ranchan first! Meet us by the usual tree at lunch, I'll try ta make sure we're alone."

"Shampoo wait, but if no like answers, obstacle be removed..."

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"So, you really are going after the teacher now? I always knew you were a pervert!"

"I AIN'T a pervert!"

"Of course you are! Only a pervert would date their teacher! You are the pervert's pervert, the king pervert ...or should I say QUEEN pervert?"

"Ain't true, but even if it was, why would YOU care? Ya kicked me out!"

"I DON'T care!"

"Then quit yellin' at me, ya un-cute tomboy! I had a long night!"

"LONG NIGHT!" The crowd erupted, with everyone assuming they knew what Ranma had meant, including Akane.

"You PERVERT!"

Ukyo jumped in, blocking the mallet with her baker's peel. "Sorry Akane-chan, but if anyone's gonna punish mah iinazuke, it's meh. Ya gave up that right, remember?"

Akane was not used to people resisting her when she chose to dish out her righteous justice, so she gave up. She did not want to start a fight, she just wanted to beat up Ranma! She had been going through a lot, she did not have her pet to confide in any longer, and it was all Ranma's fault, it was not fair that people were standing in the way of her divine punishment. Someone needed to accept her wrath!

Ukyo stood there in a defensive stance, guarding her iinazuke, he might have hurt her feelings several times recently, but that was nothing new to her, and since Akane broke up with him, she was not about to let that slide!

"Hey, thanks Ucchan-."

"Don't thank meh yet! This ain't over, but Ah got more tact than ta do it here!"

"Don't ya trust me, Ucchan?"

"Ah do, Ranchan, but ya sure don't make it easy some days..."

"Didja hear that? Kuonji-san said they were gonna 'do it here'!"

"Was that for each other, or was it about what Akane wanted?"

"But wait, does that mean it's true? Ranma and Akane are NOT engaged anymore?"

"You know what THAT means?"

"Yeah, I feel sorry for those idiotic club members!"

"No doubt!"

"Used to hitting tougher targets now days..."

"You see how far Ranma flies...?"

"They don't stand a chance!"

Energetic as always, their teacher ran into the room, sucking on a lollipop, and carrying her paperwork. "Settle down all you baaad kids! It's time for class to start!" The class calmed a bit, and Hinako whent down her class roster, seat by seat, calling out each name, and waiting for a response before marking her book, until she got to Ranma... "Saotome-kun, I know you are here..."

Akane jumped up and started to pull out her mallet again. "RANMA YOU PERVERT!"

"TENDO-SAN! Two buckets, go stand in the hall!"

As Akane's shoulders slumped, and she moved to get her buckets, the murmurs filled the room again. "Two buckets?"

"For a girl?"

"Sensei is acting like a jealous lover!"

Hinako drained the rowdy students, growing in stature, and leaning on her desk. "Would anyone else like to make baseless accusations? ...No? Fine, can we finish roll-call then?"

With the exception of Ranma, none of the male students could take their eyes off of the candy that Hinako provocatively twirled in mouth... and ALL of them assumed she was directing her actions toward Ranma, who had not even noticed.

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Standing in the hallway, Akane was fuming to herself, and easily holding the buckets, when she saw one of the last people in the world she wanted to see ...on the other hand, perhaps that was just the person she needed.

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"...Always been violent, but damn!"

"Better Kuno 'an me!" Ranma just shook his head, he doubted even the resilient kendoist would be recovering anytime soon from that one.

"Who knows when they will let that guy outta th' hospital!" Ukyo almost felt sorry for him, or would have if it had not been one Tatewaki Kuno. She saw the purple blur long before they had gotten to their tree, and had to dodge out of the way.

Ranma did not even try to dodge and just braced himself for the impact, allowing him to remain upright when a lesser man would have been knocked into the next prefecture by the Chinese rocket propelled warrior. "Uh, hey Shampoo, what ya doin' here?"

"Shampoo come flying to see Ranma! Bring too too delicious lunch, make sweet sour pork, to celebrate no have 'P-Chan' problem!"

"Yeah, Ranchan, we managed ta show Akane-chan Ryoga's curse. It didn't go th' way we planned though, an' I think yer still th' one they blame, but least that's one secret ya no longer have ta keep!"

"Wait, let me get this straight, you two, worked together, got something done, an' DIDN'T get distracted by fighting each other instead? Will wonders never cease? I always thought I would find a cure before that would happen..."

"We work together..."

"When th' need is great enough..."

"LIKE NOW!"

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"Greetings Tendo-san. Saotome-kun should be having lunch with that nice Kuonji girl."

"The food waster? And here, I was hoping Shampoo-chan would have arrived by now... however, as happy as I am that Ranma-kun has returned to classes, I am here to talk to you."

The tiny teacher jumped for joy. "Yay! Let's have lunch together then!"

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"Saotome-kun, I must stay late, and supervise Tendo-san in detention for a while it seems. I also had lunch with Tendo Kasumi-san, and we feel that this would be the prefect opportunity for you to start living life like a normal boy."

"Normal? What, ya want me ta give up the art er somethin'? 'Cause THAT ain't gonna happen!"

"No, not at all, we would never dream of asking you to give up something that is so much of who you are, what makes you happiest! What we were thinking was that you need to spend some time hanging out with people your own age, such as your friends from class-..."

"Those perverts?"

"...or maybe your girlfriends. Normally I would tell you that having more than one is delinquent behavior, but you are not entirely responsible for getting yourself into this mess. That said, you are also the only one who can get yourself out of it now. You are now officially broken off with one of them, you really ought to see how you feel about the rest of them, and keep in mind, that you do not have to restrict yourself to those girls who are after you now. Going after a girl who does not like you isn't nice, but you need to find someone who will make you happy, you cannot only worry about what others want. It is your life, and your choice to make."

"Well, all I want is ta get better at th' art, an' not have people always mad at me..."

Hinako decided she needed a different approach. "Have you ever been on a date?"

"Of course I have, but I don't see th' appeal, gotta worry about people stalkin' ya, an' all that, an' everyone always mad about what ya might do! Not worth it."

"That does not sound like you had a very good date."

"Nope, I did get th' powder, though that was a trick, an' I made it back in time ta save Akane, but a' course they were all still mad at me anyway! How could they expect me ta pass up a shot at a cure? Even if it didn't work..."

Hinako was not sure exactly what he meant by some of what he had said, but she did gather he did not have a good time. "That doesn't sound like a real date. You are just going to have to trust me on this one, if you go out with someone you like, and your only goal is to have fun with each other, then it can be very enjoyable. Tendo-san and I could not agree on which girl we though you should start with, but we do agree that it should be your choice, not ours. I am not telling you WHO you should spend time with today, but date or not, I want you to spend some time with at least one of your friends. Try and have some fun, okay?"

"Fine." Ranma knew enough about women to know he could not get around this with her. She would keep pushing him until he relented, and it was usually best to just go with it.

"Great! You cannot possibly choose something as important as a wife, if you do not know what you are choosing. You cannot make an informed choice if you do not understand the question. So here, take this money, and either meet me back here when detention is over, or if things go well, back at the apartment later. You have had way too much piled on your shoulders for a boy so young, you deserve some time to be young, to be a normal kid."

Ranma raised his eyebrow at the remark from the now shorter sensei.

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Ranma was confused, something not unfamiliar to him, he did not really understand what she wanted him to do, but at least with Akane in detention, he was a tiny bit less likely to be attacked while doing this date thing...

As he was trying to decide what he should do, as if it were fate, he saw Ukyo and Shampoo, together, again, both carrying some unusual items. With his choice made for him, he waved as he called out to them.

"Oi, Shampoo, Ucchan, just who I needed ta see!"

Caught in the act of going to set up their trap, the two girls were stunned, not sure what to do. "Ranma/Ranchan!"

"What're ya up ta, Ranchan?"

"Looking fer ya two, apparently?"

"Ranma come look for Shampoo? SOOOoo HAPPY!"

"What can we do fer ya?"

Ranma blushed, not sure how to pose his request... "Um, well I, uh, it seems, well, um, Hinako-sensei, an' I guess, Kasumi-san, both said that I should go out, ya know, with ya both ...so, um, I guess, uh, watta ya wanna do? That is, if yer not too busy, er nuthin..."

The two young women, completely forgot about their vendetta against the teacher, dropped everything they were carrying, and started internally singing her praises. They stared into each other's eyes, at which point they both screamed at a volume and pitch that threatened to shatter Ranma's eardrums, as well as run off any dog within a hundred meters!

Once the squealing and dancing had concluded, they stared hard at the other, and both turned to Ranma saying, "Me/Shampoo first!"

"Do no have store to open?"

"Ah told Konatsu ta get it ready today, an' Ah'd be there 'fore dinner rush. Don't ya gotta work too?"

"Great-grandmother know Shampoo be late today!"

The sparks flew back and forth between them, for a moment when, in perfect synchronization, they said, "Fine, together then!" Then they each grabbed an arm, and ran off to find a more private place... Neither of them particularly wanted to share Ranma, especially with the other, however they were both feeling far more desperate than selfish these days, and were just happy to have an opportunity. With Akane effectively out of the picture, they were both willing to do almost anything to get a leg up on their primary opponent. At least if they were together, one of them could not do anything without the other having the same opportunities...

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Well, that's it for this episode, hope you tune in next time for, 'Forgetting Akane Tendo' or 'The Human Tug of War'.


	9. Chapter 9

Does anybody really own anything? Faaar ouuut, maaaan...

Chapter 09 - The Dating Dilemma

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Normally Nabiki would be thrilled at the number of rumors flying around, although normally, she would be the one supplying them, but this time, they were moving faster than even her team could track. Such as the latest one that said Hinako was trying to talk Ranma into finding a nice 'older' woman to make him happy! She needed to find some way to regain control over the situation, before it was too late!

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They had received dirty looks from various people during their outing, men and women both looking at the trio with various looks ranging from disgust to jealousy, and it only made the two amorous young women cling more tightly to the arm they were grasping. They had not even let go when they arrived at the movie theater to buy their tickets, there was barely even a tussle as the two agreed to split the cost evenly. This was the first time, magic bandages excluded, that Ranma had willingly asked either of them out, and they would fight anyone or anything that got in their way, even if that was their own jealousy.

"Mommy, isn't that what they call a 'playboy'?"

"Shhh! Pretend you didn't see anything!"

They chose to go to a movie, Jackie Chan's Police Story Three: Super Cop. They chose the Mandarin version with Japanese subtitles so they could all enjoy it, and enjoy it they did. They were a lot more guns and death than they would have preferred in a martial arts movie, but it was still a lot of fun, and being able to cuddle with Ranma made it even better for a certain duo.

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All three of them were excitedly mock fighting, and laughing as they left the theater. Ranma had seen precious few movies in his life, and even the discomfort he felt from the closeness of the two beautiful young women could not detract from his enjoyment that day.

"Shampoo love blooper, wish we play parts and Ranma blooper with Shampoo..."

"Ya an' meh both..."

"Is wish for Shampoo too? Aiyaaa! Is kinder than Shampoo think."

Ukyo shot her a glare, but didn't let it get to her. "Oh yeah, that's meh, Kindness-sama. Ya can have all a' th' bloopers ... an' Ah'll take th' love scenes!"

"Really? Shampoo think is too too shy for love scene."

Blushing profusely, Ukyo's determination pushed her forward. "If it's fer Ranchan, just ya watch meh!"

Ranma might have been annoyed by their bickering, but he could tell there was far less venom behind their words than usual, they were both smiling and clearly enjoying themselves! Yet more than anything, what astonished him was that he could safely say the same, even if the idea of 'love scenes' made him feel a little 'concerned'. After a quick splash, they stopped to have some ice cream.

One of the few things they had been able to agree upon was that neither of them were willing to let Ranma pay for anything. Even going so far as to take turns on the odd yen when the totals did not work out evenly. They continued to get strange looks, but Ranma was used to it, so hardly noticed and the young women were too happy to care.

They walked around the park, the shopping district, and anywhere else they could find people to make sure they saw they three of them together, enjoying themselves, hoping to replace some of the Ranma and Hinako rumors with themselves.

Unfortunately for them, their afternoon could not go on forever, and they both realized the time, and regretfully informed Ranma that they had to leave.

"S'okay, sensei don't cook, so probably needs me ta make dinner anyway, an' hey, it was nice ta hang out, ya know, without all the fighting. Maybe we can do it again sometime..."

Ranma had barely finished speaking when the squealing started again, making him wish he had brought ear protection. They were both almost dancing as they went back to holding one of his arms, before each leaning in and kissing him on the cheek.

Neither of them wanted to leave, but he had implied they would be able to do it again, so they both started making plans for more dates. "We see Ranma too too soon, please thank teacher for us, yes?"

"Same here Sugar, anytime yer ready ta do it again, er something more fun, ya just call meh, an' Ah'll be there! Although, it would be nice ta have a bit more notice..."

"Shampoo no care, drop anything for Ranma!"

"Meh too, but Ah want ta plan ahead too..."

"Is too too slow, Shampoo already started plans..."

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Ukyo kept dreamily fantasizing about her future with Ranma continuing from their date, only to be put off by the fact that Shampoo was still there, on his other side, even in her fantasy, smiling cutely at her. It was not enough to ruin the best day of her life since before Ranma and his father left her on the side of the road, but it did put a slight damper on her spirits. It just wasn't fair, SHE was supposed to be the cute one! But now that Akane was out of the picture, she would be redesignated as the tomboy at the rate she was going! Something needed to be done!

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Ranma entered the apartment he now shared with Hinako to find her, strangely in her adult form, chatting with Kasumi. "Tadaima!"

"Okaeri, Saotome-kun."

"Konichiwa, Ranma-kun."

Ranma bowed in greeting. "Kasumi-san, good ta see ya."

"You are later than I expected, did things go well?"

"Ya know, I got ta admit, ya guys were right, that was more fun than last time. It still felt kinda weird, I just kept waitin' fer th' mallet ta drop, fer someone, er something, ta interrupt er send me flyin'..."

Kasumi felt a pang of guilt for her silent complicity in some of those events, having never really taken the time to determine if those actions had been warranted, only that they had stopped the fighting, and kept things quiet. She did not feel as though it was her place to comment.

"Saotome-kun, you have a right to have fun in your life. As long as you are taking care of your responsibilities, like doing your chores and classwork, then you are allowed to enjoy yourself. It just so happens, in your case, having this fun IS one of your responsibilities. These women like you, they want to date you and more, you owe it to them and to yourself, to honestly determine your feelings on the matter, and tell them the truth. A real man needs to take charge, be decisive, honest, and always take the feelings of others into consideration! You will make mistakes, and that is regrettable, but you can learn far more from mistakes than from successes. It also helps to study and learn from other's mistakes, which can save you a lot of personal pain."

"That ...actually sounded pretty smart."

The effect, however, was mostly lost as she returned to her child-like form. "Don't be rude, I AM a teacher, you know!"

"Ya don't usually act like it though, do ya?"

The instructor's annoyance left as quickly as it appeared, and was replaced by a deep sadness. "I know..."

"Ack!" Ranma could almost see the cloud of depression roll in, and hastily popped in a video tape to distract her before the tears started to flow.

Seeing Hinako watching television, having totally forgotten them, Kasumi decided it was a good time for her inquiry. "Ranma-kun, could I ask you something?"

"A' course, Kasumi-san! What ya need?"

"Well, I do not wish to stop your fun just when you were starting to make some progress, but ...I, well, I was hoping that I too could get some of your time..."

Hinako looked up in surprise, completely oblivious to her program, she had not realized that Kasumi had felt that way as well...

"What's up?"

Kasumi was getting flustered, she was not good at asking for help. "Well, you left so suddenly, and it took me a while to get used to it again, without your helping hand, so I was hoping... I mean, I tried it by myself, but it was not the same... oh my, it is just, could we ...resume our training?"

Neither of them noticed the wide eyed Hinako facefault, as they were caught up in the moment, and Ranma pondered their options. "Well, it would a' been easy if I was still in that lot, but I ain't like I can go ta yer place... Um, when did ya wanna do it?"

"Perhaps I could leave early for my afternoon shopping, and meet you here after school?"

"Or I can meet ya part way and help carry stuff er whatever..."

"Oh, you do not have to do that, I do not wish to cause you more problems with the rumors."

"I don't think ya could, they are all over the place these days..."

"I am sorry Ranma-kun, you have been having a hard time, and some of that is my fault! It was so wrong of me to-"

"I told ya, I don't wanna hear that from ya no more! Yer not th' one ta set up that stupid deal!"

"No, I am just the 'enabler'..."

"I promise you, Saotome-kun, after you have had time to sort out your feelings, and decide what you really want, I will help you fight that agreement with everything I have ...if that is what you want." Hinako's stomach growled, completely ruining her attempts to be dramatic, and she hung her head in shame. "In all the excitement, I forgot to go to the store... We need to hurry if we want to get there before closing. ...There IS a store nearby that has half-price bento soon, but there are always delinquents fighting over them, not that it ever stops me!"

Ranma looked intrigued, but Kasumi pulled a picnic basket out from behind her back and placed it on the table before them. "I know it is not a bento, but I do hope that this will help you."

"Tell me th' truth, Kasumi-san. Where did you learn th' hidden weapons technique?"

"Oh my, whatever do you mean, Ranma-kun?"

Ranma and Hinako's eyes went wide as they saw the platters of food Kasumi pulled from her basket. "WOW! This is amazin'! But, ain't they gonna be missing ya back home?"

Kasumi grimaced. "I doubt it. I left out some leftovers for them, so I do not believe anyone would know I am gone..."

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Genma looked at the dinner dishes that had not yet been cleared away, and back at their game board, trying to determine if all of their pieces were still in the same places. "Things seem a bit ...messier, than usual to you, Tendo-kun?"

"HAHA, you are right, Kasumi-chan seems to be a little slow today! It's your move, Saotome-kun."

"Oh, yes, of course..."

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As Kasumi went to leave, she bowed to the pair. "Thank you again, Sensei, for saving me on the bus today."

"It was no problem, delinquents like that deserved to be punished! Although, speaking of the buses, I believe the last one has already run for the night! I know, you could stay here! It would be like a sleep-over! We could tell stories, and play games, and watch anime!"

"Or I could take ya, if ya want..."

"Or perhaps, Ranma-kun, you could give me another lesson..." Kasumi had a hopeful tone in her voice.

"Sure! We can go up ta th' roof fer th' workout, if ya have yer gi, if not we can just work on yer meditation er somethin'." Ranma glanced at his teacher, and considered something. "Ya might wanna join us, th' discipline would do ya good."

"What? On the roof? Are you sure you wouldn't rather be alone?" Hinako eyed the younger pair curiously, wondering what he was planning.

"The more the merrier! It would be nice to have another beginner to help out, Ranma-kun is just too good for me."

Hinako's mind boggled, she was starting to think chaperoning could be the least of her concerns... Checking to make sure she had plenty of five and fifty yen coins, just to be safe, before nodding. "But how do you plan to get up there? The stairs to the roof are locked, and the maintenance personnel are not likely to let us up there to play."

"Well, th' easiest way'd be fer us ta all go out front, or we can go one at a time through the window..."

"Out front it is then..."

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After calling home and receiving no answer, Kasumi changed into her gi, while Hinako found something more appropriate to wear, and they met Ranma in front of the building. "Okay Saotome-kun, what do you have in mind, is there a ladder or something you found?"

"Yeah, somethin'. Ya should know how this goes..." Ranma picked Hinako up, and put her on his back. "Yer gonna have ta hold on tight this time on yer own. ...Wait, not quite THAT tight! Okay, there you go! Not it's yer turn." Ranma scooped Kasumi up in a classic 'princess carry', and hopped onto the awning out front, then in a mighty leap, up to the roof where he landed gently.

Hinako jumped down excitedly, and ran around the roof, examining everything. "What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this?"

Kasumi was not sure how much time passed, the warmth she felt filled her with a comfort that was rare in her life. She had gotten completely lost in her senses, the strange feelings, the musky scents, the sounds of his breathing, and some strange new ...feeling. It filled all of her senses, and yet, none of them. She could see it with her eyes closed, feel it without touching, hear it without listening, smell it without breathing... She was not sure if she could taste it, but it seemed too embarrassing to even think about trying.

"...sumi-san. Kasumi-san! Ya okay?"

"Yes, Ranma-kun, I am terribly sorry. I felt strange. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced in my life! How did you do that?"

Hinako stopped her inspection of the roof, and plopped herself down to watch the pair, expecting to be disappointed yet again, but still hoping for the best.

"It ain't like we never done that before, I dunno, I just channel ki through my legs when I jump, helpin' ta make us go further."

"No, not the jumping, that other thing. It was as if everything was alive, and breathing. I feel it coming from everything, but the strongest, most amazing feeling is radiating off of you, so it has to be Ranma-kun."

"Yeah an' no. I'm impressed, ya HAVE been keepin' up with yer practice! Ya opened yer ki sense. Everything in this world has ki, an' ya awakened yer ability ta sense it. I want ya ta keep yer eyes closed, an' picture me in yer mind. Tell me what ya see."

"I see a handsome warrior, holding a boring housewife, near the edge of a mountain, with the wind blowing through their hair, and they are on fire! Oh my, we should help!"

"Nah, ya ain't borin', not ta me, an' that's not real fire, so don't need help there, it won't hurt us, if we don't tell it ta. It's-."

"...Your battle aura!"

"Both a' us, really, but yeah, mine is th' main one yer seein' in there."

"Sugoi! You really are amazing, Ranma-kun! It's huge!"

"Well ...it gets bigger, I usually don't let a lot out..."

"Yeah, I've seen how big it can get! And it's not just the size, I've never seen anyone get drained as many times as you, and still keep fighting!"

Ranma was not sure why, precisely, but he was glad that Akane had not heard that conversation. "Hinako-Sensei?"

"So, are you two going to kiss, or are you going to put Tendo-san down, so we can start this, so called training thing?"

"ACK!" The two blushing teens separated as quickly as they could manage.

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After showing them a new kata, they practiced for a while before Ranma brought them back inside to practice meditation. Kasumi had slipped into her trance easily, but Hinako was sleeping before long, so Ranma snuck back out to the roof.

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As was her norm, Kasumi had awoken early that morning, taking only a moment to remember where she had been sleeping, however was a bit surprised to find Hinako curled up next to her on the floor where she slept, and she did not see Ranma anywhere around. Unable to help herself, she tided up a bit before she readied herself to leave, wondering how long before the first bus, it had been so long since she had to go anywhere that early, when she heard a tapping on the window.

"Oh my, Ranma-kun!" Hurrying to throw it open, she helped a female Ranma inside. "You are soaked! What were you doing out there? Do you not have a key? If you were going to be a girl anyway, why did you not sleep in here?"

"Sleepin', it rained, an' no, don't got a key... Ya know, jus' 'caus I look like a girl, don't make me one, it still ain't right!"

"Oh Ranma, let me run you a bath before I leave, come on..." Kasumi dragged the cursed martial artist, into the tiny bathing room, started running the hot water, and patting down Ranma's wet hair. "Go on, get out of these wet things, or you will catch a cold!"

Ranma obediently stripped, unconcerned if Kasumi saw his cursed form naked, it was far from the first time, and it just did not feel real to him. To him, 'his' privates were still hidden like this, so it was no big deal. "Fine, though, my dry clothes are in my backpack out there..."

"Not to worry Ranma-kun, I will get them for you, you just get in the ofuro before you get sick..."

Still half asleep, Ranma did not really pay attention as Kasumi when back to the main room, and started scrubbing before climbing into the small tub, reverting back to his natural body.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi came back with a pair of his dark gray pants, and a white silk shirt, with a dragon embroidered in the back. She always thought he looked handsome in that shirt. She decided to hang them up, to help with any wrinkles they acquired while in Ranma's pack, and looked for a place to hang them. The only one she saw that was not in use, was on the back of the door to the furo.

Kasumi was not used to the western style doors that were in this efficiency apartment, but she was glad that they at least separated the toilet, bathing, and changing areas in the normal Japanese fashion. She did realize that such a hook might not have worked well on a sliding door as she reached up to hang Ranma's outfit. Unfortunately, depending on one's perspective, that the door had not latched, and as she hung the hanger on the hook, she accidentally pushed the door open.

Kasumi could not move, her unblinking eyes could only stare at what hung before her.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

For such a small furo, Ranma was impressed by the various gadgets and attachments it had. He had played with the jets and several other buttons before pulling out a sprayer head that had a number of buttons on the back as well, and stood up to spray himself off before getting out. He had just turned around so the water from his spraying would hit the wall, not go out into the room when suddenly the door flew open, with one of his fancier outfits hanging from the door, and Kasumi standing just behind it.

He was so surprised, that he could only blink for a moment, before Kasumi started to faint. Ranma could not allow Kasumi to hit her head, and he leapt to catch her before she struck anything on the way down. Sliding across the floor, Ranma managed to catch the young woman, with her landing on his chest, safely protecting her head.

Ranma tried to maneuver himself free, as he looked for a towel to place under her, before he tried to lay her down. As he stood up the other door opened, and he saw Hinako drop her coin. "Ba... Ba... Ba, ba, ba... BIG brother!"

"ACK! Hinako-sensei!"

Kasumi looked up, and felt the warm, wet arms around her. "Ranma-kun!"

"Kasumi-san!"

Kasumi shot a look toward the door and noticed their host. "Sensei-san!"

"Tendo-san!"

"Ranma-kun!"

"Hinako-sensei!"

"Saotome-kun!"

All of the sudden glances around the room, Ranma finally slipped on the wet floor, and landed in a sitting position, with Kasumi landing on his lap. "Ungh!"

Ranma's grunt caused Kasumi to become far more aware of her location, and she immediately hopped off of him, which caused him to groan even harder. Ranma folded himself up, covering himself with his hands, and limped to find a towel. "Ranma-kun, I am sorry, I must be too heavy... are you hurt?"

Ranma's voice was pained, and a little ...squeaky. "Not too heavy, just, landed wrong..."

"Saotome-kun!"

"Uh, ohayo?"

"Do you mind telling me what are you doing, and why are you naked?"

"Uh, well, ya see..."

Kasumi bowed to the tiny teacher, handing her the coin she had dropped. "I am sorry, Sensei-san, it was my fault. I went to hang some clothing on the door, and it must not have been latched, because it opened, and then..."

"I couldn't let Kasumi-san get hurt..."

"Oh my... Thank you, Ranma-kun."

"Even though you got hurt in the process..." Leaning toward him, she looked for any injuries.

"A' course not! That don't matter... I'm used ta it."

"And here I just thought that being in this small apartment, with two beautiful women, was just too much for you!" Hinako bounced around, giggling before she calmed enough to speak seriously again. "I am sorry, I should have told you that latch was broken, I live alone, so it never occurred to me... Are you sure both of you are all right?"

"Yes, I am fine, what about you, Ranma-kun?"

"I'll be fine ...in a moment." His voice, still a bit higher pitched than was typical for his male form.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi had to admit, at least to herself, that she enjoyed the ride back to their neighborhood. Even with the extra passengers, Ranma was much faster than the bus. What she would NOT admit, was how much she enjoyed being held, that secret pleasure was one that she even kept from herself.

Thanks to Genma sleeping later now that Ranma was not there to be trained, she made it home before anyone had awoken, but what she found did not make her happy. The house was a mess, there was a hole in one wall, and even the dinner dishes were still on the table from where she had left them the night before!

No, Kasumi was not happy at all, and as she began to clean and start making breakfast, she already started looking forward to her afternoon shopping trip.

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"Thank you, Saotome-kun, I know it is much earlier than you are used to coming to school, but as a teacher, I have other things that need to be done some days, and I have let that go for a while now..."

"Hey, no problem, I can work out here, just as well as anywhere ...better really."

"Well, you can use the shower in the locker rooms when you are done."

Ranma waved as he wandered toward the locker room to change into his gym clothes, not wanting to get the nice outfit Kasumi picked out for him dirty.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Nabiki found her target, something strange was going on, and she wanted to know what... "Ranma-kun, coming out of the showers are we? You were here before my earliest risers, so what happened, spend the night here?"

"Huh? Didn't Kasumi-san tell you?"

"Tell me what? Onee-chan wasn't in the most talkative of moods this morning, besides, why would my sister know where you spent the night last night? Were you 'together'?"

Ranma froze, not sure what to give away, but his sly side came out, and he tried not to let out too much. "Well, 'cause I'm stayin' at Hinako-sensei's, it was partly Kasumi-san's idea..." He figured Nabiki knew most of that anyway. "Sensei had work ta do, so we came in early."

"And the shower?"

"Not that it's yer business, but I was trainin', didn't wanna stink in class?"

Not liking the look on Ranma's face, she pushed further. "So then, Saotome-kun, maybe you would like to tell me why you are wearing the second fanciest outfit you own?"

"Got wet."

"Like that ever matters to you?"

"Oh it matters, it matters more ta me than, ta most people, I just don't get much a chance ta do nuthin' 'bout it, but it happened while I was asleep, an' didn't have time ta wash."

"So that's why you are dressed-up, are you going on a date?"

"Not that I know of..."

"You practically wear the same outfit every day, and I am supposed to believe you dressed up for no reason?"

"I was half asleep, it was th' first thing I grabbed... my clothes are in a backpack, it ain't easy ta find what I am lookin' for... Ta be honest, I don't even know why we're having this conversation, you guys kicked me out, I got nuthin' ta do with ya no more."

"You owe me, Saotome-kun..."

"Nah, that was all th' old man's doin', an' teach said that since th' bastard left me ta sleep in the streets, and didn't come get me, er nuthin', that it don't got nuthin' ta do with me no more. So if anyone owe ya somethin', ya gonna have ta collect from the one moochin' off ya, cause that was pops, I was just innocently followin' my old man."

"'Innocent' are you?"

"Ya damn right! I didn't want nuthin' ta do with any a' this! I only wanna train, not have nuthin' ta do with marryin' nobody... I wasn't stayin' there 'cause I wanted ta er nuthin'!"

'With that grammar, you are lucky to have any prospects other than the Chinese bimbo, who probably has no idea how dumb you sound!' "You say that while sleeping with the sexiest teacher in school?"

"I sleep on the roof! Remember? I got rained on this morning, an' Sensei looks like a kid most a' th' time, not that I care... ain't got nuthin' ta do with trainin'. I'd a' already left on a trainin' trip, never ta return, if not fer Kasumi-san askin' me ta wait, er I wouldn't even be here fer ya ta hassle!"

That was the last thing she wanted to hear, Ranma leaving town would put a serious damper on her income, that needed to be prevented at all cost! She had actually been happy when he moved into Hinako's place, it had brought him back to school where he was the most profitable, staying in the empty lot was okay, but leaving town was unacceptable! "That's just like a Saotome, run away when things get tough. Never deal with your problems, just run away, then push the responsibility onto someone else when you can run no longer."

"How is lettin' th' ones who made the problems, deal with um, my problem?"

"How is not owning up to your own actions, you NOT running away?" She walked to the door before turning back. "Think about it Saotome Genma Junior." Nabiki felt as if something was wrong with his story, she had noticed him hesitate, and she HAD heard stories about him and two of his iinazuke being seen around town last night, so she decided to have him watched ...more than usual.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ukyo had been so focused on her plan, that she was paying no attention to the looks and comments she had been eliciting from the other students, especially the boys. She was far too distracted by the feeling of the skirt brushing against her legs, and the occasional breeze between them! All of it had her rather self-conscious and blushing, which brought her more unnoticed attention.

Unbeknownst to her, her actions had an unintended consequence, all of the boys, and some of the girls, who wanted to 'get with the cute new girl' caused many new rumors to replace some of the ones about Ranma, many of which also included Ranma, so the benefit to him was somewhat limited, but nonetheless, detract from his unwanted attention they did, and had she realized that, she would have been pleased.

As out of her element as she was, nothing could have prepared her for what she saw when Ranma had finally gotten to class. Seeing him walk into the room, the sunlight glinting off of his bright silk shirt, and his aura blending in a way that made him seem preternaturally beautiful in her eyes. "Ran-Ran-Ranchan, Ohayo!"

Ranma did a double-take, having to focus on the baker's peel for a second to rectify the two images he saw in his head. "Yo, Ucchan! What's up with th' outfit?"

"Ah could ask th' same. How'dja know it was meh?"

Ranma nodded to her, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, ya know, how could I not?"

She failed to notice him indicating her weapon, or desk, and blushed at the idea of 'her Ranchan' knowing her that well. That she was assuming Ranma was dressed up for her, just convinced her that she was doing the right thing. Grabbing his hand, she ran out into the hall, looking for an out-of-the-way place, where they could have a, mostly, private conversation.

Ukyo pulled Ranma under a stairwell and twiddled her fingers, unable to meet his gaze. "Ranchan, um, Ah've been wonderin', d'ja think ya might ...ya know, maybe, wanna go out with meh ...again ...after school today?"

"Oh, sorry Ucchan, I can't after school..."

Ukyo was crushed, and more than a little upset. '...after all that work...' "It's that Shampoo, isn't it, gotta ya before meh?"

"Naw, it's nuthin' like that, I just got stuff I gotta do. How about ya call me when ya close up? That's better for ya anyway, right? Maybe we can see another movie er something..."

Ukyo looked up into her best friend's eyes, looking quite hopeful. "Just us?"

"Uh, sure?"

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Ukyo had tried to get Ranma alone for lunch, but before she had been able to say anything she had wanted, they had been chased by most of the boys in their class, as well as many from other classes. Grabbing his hand, she ran, desperately trying to get away! "Come on, Ranchan, let's get outta here!"

"Ranma, you rat!"

"Sneakin' behind our backs!"

"How dare you?"

"Don't hog Ukyo-san to yerself!"

"What's got inta them all a' a sudden?"

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"Tendo-san, good to see you again! Did you come to share a lunch with me again?"

"Good afternoon Sensei-san, and yes, I feel there is still much to discuss..."

"Truly, it seems our plan to get Saotome-kun dating those girls is paying off already..."

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Ryoga poked his head out of a bush, with the rest of him in close pursuit. "I know, Mount Fuji should be around here somewhere..."

"Ranma, get back here!"

"Stop!"

"Ranma! Holding hands with another woman! You cheating rat! What would Akane-san say?" Ryoga's aura flared up as he charged toward his nemesis! "Ranma Saotome, prepare to be punished!"

Ranma dodged, leading Ryoga away from Ukyo and the others still heading their way. "Hey! What-do-ya-want?"

"Cheating on Akane-san? I'll make you pay!"

"I ain't!"

As Ryoga lunged in with another punch, he connected. Despite his best intentions, it was not his fist that struck his target, but rather his face which impacted with a poor, defenseless cooking implement. "Ryoga no AHO!"

"I know that pain, is that ...Ukyo?"

"Who else would it be, an' how could ya forget Akane an' me broke up? ...Moron." Ranma glanced up and saw their pursuers gaining quickly. "Okay, Ucchan, enough a' this!"

Ukyo could not believe how forceful her Ranchan was being, she expected him to start demanding answers from her at any moment. So having herself scooped up into Ranma's arms and suddenly finding herself hurtling through the air, her feel safer than she ever had before. "Ranchan?"

"We gotta get away from these guys, er we're never gonna get ta eat lunch!"

If Ukyo had been able to facefault while in Ranma's arms, she would have...

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"Tendo Kasumi, what brings you to our little cafe?"

"Is Shampoo-chan here? We need to speak, if it is not too much trouble..."

Cologne had to admit to a modicum of curiosity, and led the way toward the back, where Shampoo was cutting vegetables for their evening rush. "Not at all, no trouble for you, my dear. May I get you some tea?"

"Oh my, I do not wish to be any trouble."

"No trouble at all."

"Then thank you elder."

"Onee-chan come to see Shampoo?"

"Why, hello Shampoo-chan, how are you today?"

"Shampoo is too too happy! Have wonderful day, and soon to have more! Why Onee-chan no look so happy?"

"I came to warn you. It seems as though Ukyo-san was getting serious today."

"We both get serious! Have too too good date! Why, what Pancake-girl do?"

"Well, a girl doesn't change their image for no reason..." Kasumi explained what she had heard from Hinako earlier that day.

"Aiyaaa! Shampoo need plan!"

"Perhaps, I could help you with your outfits and date ideas... I think I have a kimono you could borrow."

The young warrior's eyes went wide. "Aiyaa, want help Shampoo? Why?"

"I like helping."

"But, why Shampoo?"

"Who would you have me support?"

"Is family no in race too?"

"Akane-chan has broken it off, and I now think that is for the best. I am also concerned with Ranma-kun's happiness..."

Shampoo squealed slightly at Kasumi's implication that she would make Ranma the most happy, but she could not overlook the obvious. "Enemy of kitchens is no only sister, yes? Fathers no seem care who do..."

"Oh no, I do not believe Nabiki-chan has Ranma-kun's best interest at heart."

"That still no is all..."

"What? Who else could you ...me? I could never! Ranma-kun could never want... I'm too old!"

"Onee-chan no is old, great-grandmother old!"

"Watch your tongue, child! Here is your tea, Tendo-san." Shampoo flinched from the whack on her noggin.

"Thank you, elder, you are too kind."

"See, compared to elder, we is childrens, still have many year before elder! So want date Airen, or no?"

"The thought never crossed my mind!"

Shampoo eyed her guest cautiously... "Sorry, must be sure, no can have help from one what want husband for self!"

"Oh my, no, I could never, I just want to see you two happy!"

'You really are a bad liar, Child.' The old woman watched them closely as she continued to prepare the cafe for the evening rush.

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As Kasumi left Shampoo and Cologne to discuss the plans they made, she was stopped by a figure who stepped from the shadows as she passed. "Tendo-san, a moment of your time, if you would."

"Yes, what can I do for you?"

"I wanted to tell you that I agree with Shampoo, you are a young and vibrant women, who..."

"Why, thank you, though I would hate to offend, but are you the best judge of that?"

"I see just fine ...until you get too close..."

"Oh my, they said that you were 'near-sighted'..."

"'They' were wrong."

"But then, Mousse-san, are you flirting with me?"

"No, Shampoo is the only one for me, however, you really should go after Ranma for yourself, after all, do 'you' not also deserve to be happy? Shouldn't you also get to have some 'fun'?"

"Oh my, I am having lots of fun, whatever could you mean?"

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"Ukyo-sama, welcome home, how was your day?"

Ukyo swooned as she thought back on Ranma's promise. "Great! Although, th' strangest thing... Hinako-sensei stopped meh on th' way out, ta offer meh encouragement with Ranchan, an' ta tell meh not ta let it affect mah studies..."

"I am glad to hear it, is there anything I can do to help?"

"Actually, yeah. Ranchan asked meh out after work tahnaght, an' Ah need ta get ready, so if ya could close up tonight, that'd be great!"

"Of course, Ukyo-sama..."

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Kasumi was hurrying to try to catch her bus to Hinako's apartment, when she saw Ranma waiting there. "Oi, Kasumi-san, hope yer doin' well! Was startin' ta worry I had the wrong stop..."

"Ranma-kun! What are you doing here?"

"Had ta make sure yer safe, don't wanna see ya have ta ride th' bus alone if I can help it. Especially not after ya had those ...'problems' yesterday!"

"Oh, Ranma-kun, you did not have to do that!"

"Yeah, I did, 'cause if I found out someone did somethin' like that ta ya, I'd have ta thrash 'um! I told ya before, ain't nobody gonna hurt ya if I can help it. No matter who it is."

Kasumi stepped back as she saw his battle aura flare to life! She knew about auras, but she had rarely seen them before her recent 'awakening', and seeing the size and intensity of Ranma's when he made his declaration startled her. "Your aura... it is huuuuuuge..."

"Huh? Yeah, sometimes, not as big as some, but I do okay... Now, did ya want ta wait fer th' bus, er did ya want-"

Kasumi did not want to see anyone get hurt, even a molester, so she answered far more quickly than was even polite. "No! I want to ride ...'you'. Oh dear! No, I mean..." Realizing her poor choice of words only a moment too late, Kasumi blushed heavily.

"I know what ya mean..." Lifting the lovely lass into his limbs, Ranma leapt from ledge to limb and beyond.

Kasumi lost herself in the feeling of the familiar embrace as she wrapped her own arms around Ranma's shoulders and enjoyed the wind in her hair. Without warning, her conversation with Mousse replayed itself in her mind, focusing on her right to have fun. "...Yes, I have lots of ...fun."

"I'm glad ta hear it! Ya deserve it."

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Later that night, when she received her agent's report, Nabiki would be astonished by what she learned.

"Kasumi-san, 'something something HUGE'. Ranma, 'not as big as some, but I do okay'. Kasumi-san, 'I want to ride you!' Then Ranma picked up your sister, and jumped out of my line of sight... I tried to follow, but they were too fast. I am sorry!"

Nabiki's associate sat silently, waiting to be chewed out for losing their target, but Nabiki's mouth just hung open, unable to believe what she had heard... They both thought back on the non-pixilated version of the photo they had just begun circulating recently, and one of them started drooling, wishing that Nabiki had thought to make a mold while she had the chance...

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Once he was sure that Kasumi had memorized the latest kata he showed her, he split his attention between watching her, and working on his own practice. "Spinning-Bird Kick!"

They each practiced on their own for a while, but eventually, Kasumi found her eyes drawn to Ranma, watching him practice. It did not take long for her to recognize some of his moves as being ones she had used to decorate his lunches, and felt a wave of pleasure at the thought that she might have been of help to his training! She could not believe that he was actually using them! She was also glad that he had accepted the offer to stay at Hinako's place, but disappointed at not being able to make his lunches any longer. She was also bothered by the fact that Ranma chose to sleep on the roof, Hinako had told her that her apartment was small, but she would never have guessed that Ranma would refuse to sleep inside, even on the floor! At least in the park he had his tent and sleeping bag, but he never seemed to take them to the roof. Something needed to be done about that, she would need to talk to Hinako-sensei soon.

Ranma had felt he had mastered the last move Kasumi had inspired him to learn with her bento, and had moved into a kata he had developed that incorporated most of those new moves, as well as some of his own. From lightning kick, to spinning backfist, and into a backflip kick, he flowed from one to the next when he saw Kasumi had stopped her practicing and was giving him the eye. "Uh, is somethin' wrong?"

"Oh, no, I ...was taking a break. I could not help but to watch..."

"If you are tired, then should we go back inside, ta meditate? We don't wanna wear you out too much before ya have ta go home."

Not willing to protest, a slightly crestfallen Kasumi nodded, taking solace in the feeling of his hand in hers, as he lifted her into his arms once again. She was not sure why she felt this discontent, however she had been enjoying watching a master of his craft, she could certainly see why they called it an art ...it was truly a beautiful sight.

After taking turns getting clean, Ranma moved the table to make more room for their meditation. Once he saw that Kasumi was comfortable, he flipped himself over, into an upside-down lotus position, and expanded his awareness, sensing his host returning.

Ranma stood up, and went to their tiny kitchenette to make tea. He had just gotten the water to a boil as the door opened revealing an adult Hinako, with an unhappy expression on her face. "Hinako-sensei, are ya okay?"

"Nothing to worry about, Saotome-kun. I was still in this form from detention, and there was a pervert on the bus. No one will have to worry about that one for a while..."

"Oh dear."

"I want ya ta promise me that ya won't take that bus without an escort, Kasumi-san."

"No concern for your teacher as well?"

"Fer the disciplinarian who cleaned up several reform schools? I ain't too worried 'bout ya, even if ya still should be careful, an' train with us more often, but Kasumi-san don't have yer fancy coin trick er nuthin', so we gotta be more careful there."

"There should be no need to worry, Ranma-kun, no one would want to do such things to a frumpy old woman, like me?"

"How can ya-?"

"Don't you DARE say such things! You can't be old, what would that make me? Besides, you are barely out of high school, you have your whole life ahead of you!"

"I didn't... I mean, I am just a plain, old housewife, and I am not even married!"

For some reason, Ranma felt as if he was in the middle of a fight, and that may have been why he felt one of his moments of inspiration. "Then how can ya be a housewife, if yer not married? Yer barely older 'an me, an' nobody as pretty as you, can be called 'plain', 'sides, Hinako-sensei just had to stop someone from doin' somethin' just like that, so how can ya even ask?"

"But that almost never happens..."

"But how often ya ride a bus, er a train? When was th' last time when ya wasn't with th' whole family?"

"It was..." Kasumi froze, she had to think back on it, and nothing was coming to mind, she could not for the life of her, remember the last time she had ridden the bus alone... Normally she just walked everywhere, she had always had to be frugal with her expenses before her recent changes, and even now, she barely spent any more than she usually would. Since selling the two pieces of jewelry, her only extra expenditures had been a few repairs, these trips, and a larger food budget, to make sure no one went hungry. Thus far, she had only even paid for one bus fare, thanks to Ranma's assistance, which was not even her riding alone. Suddenly, she felt as if she were being talked down to, like a child, while infuriating, even if she were too polite to let it show, it also put a bit of a damper on her feeling like an 'old woman'.

"See? Th' only reason it don't happen more often, is th' old fart knows that's th' one line that can't be crossed!"

"What does grandfather Happosai have to do with this?" The innocent look on Kasumi's face had the others facefaulting, unable to believe that even Kasumi could be that ...charitable. It reminded Hinako of herself as a girl... May she never have to overcome that virtue ...even if the impudent child DID call her 'old'!

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After calming everyone down and having tea, Ranma got them back on-track and meditating. Hinako did not do well, especially after reverting to her child-like form, though she provided a good test for Kasumi's concentration. He got up a bit sooner than the rest, and prepared some dinner for Hinako, before taking Kasumi home.

"So, Ranma-kun, you really do not think I am too old?"

"Of course not! We're basically th' same age, not that it matters ta me..."

"...And you don't think I am homely?"

"I know yer humble, but come on, yer like th' prettiest girl in Nerima!"

"Ranma-kun, I know you are trying to be polite, but it is not nice to lie. There are so many younger girls, with better figures than I have, and you are dating at least one of them."

"It's true, I ain't lyin'! Yer like a pretty paintin' ...a' like, a goddess er somethin'."

The blushing Kasumi could not believe Ranma's words, but they were still nice to hear and she flushed at the feelings they awoke in her. She was not used to receiving compliments, let alone ones from a handsome young man, and even if he was younger and immature, they made her a bit giddy, like a proverbial schoolgirl. After all, everything else about this situation was perfect, a handsome young man, was carrying her like a princess, to be saved from the horrible chikan. Truly, it was not even his age that was the issue, but rather his lack of maturity in some respects, not that it was his fault, she would freely admit that, she knew where the blame for 'that' belonged. She was glad to have extra bamboo stored just for such occasions when a certain panda would get splashed just before mealtime...

She still felt a bit lightheaded once Ranma dropped her off, a couple of blocks from her house. When Ranma set her down, she left her arms around his neck, and gave him a short hug. "Thank you, Ranma-kun."

"Anytime, just remember, don't take that bus, wait fer me, I'll make sure ya get there safely!"

Like many young women, Kasumi had always dreamed of being protected by her prince, so the idea of a hero defending her was very appealing, however, it being Ranma, made her feel ...strange. Nonetheless, she was still in a good mood when she got home to make their dinner, despite the mess she walked into, once again...

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Ranma figured it was nearly closing time, and he had a promise to keep. It had taken him longer than he expected, and figured he might as well save some time... Changing directions, Ranma headed for a familiar restaurant.

"RANCHAN! Ah thought ya were gonna wait fer meh ta' call ya..."

"Yeah, well, I happened ta be in th' area, an' figured I shouldn't make ya wait... If yer not ready yet, it's fine, I expected I'd be early, an' have ta wait..." Before Ranma could finish his sentence, Ukyo was running around, barking out orders, and making food. "...so don't hurry fer me."

"No more orders, we're closing th' kitchen! I hope ya, enjoyed yer meals, an' thanks fer choosin' Ucchan's Okonomiyaki!" After throwing a double seafood special in front of Ranma, Ukyo ran for the back rooms. "Konatsu, let th' people finish eatin', an' clean up. Thanks!"

Ranma could not believe how quickly Ukyo returned. Konatsu had just cleared his place, and thanked him, when Ukyo came back down the stairs, looking stunning in her evening yukata. Her hair was still damp from her quick washing, and the light cloth clung to her in places, giving hints to curves normally hidden by the baggy material. Most of the men in the place were doing their best not to stare at the cute, young chef, and were having trouble keeping their tongue within their mouths, even Ranma's eyes bugged out as she caught his attention.

'YES! It worked!' She felt all of the eyes in the room on her, but she only cared about the two in front of her as she sauntered over to him, trying not to look too excited. "Are ya ready ta go, Ranchan?"

"Uh... Shu-shu-sure! Did ya have somethin' in mind, er do we need a plan, an' what's with th' outfit?"

"There somethin' wrong with mah outfit? Ah don't got much that's not fer work er school, Konatsu-chan loaned it ta meh... do ya not like it?" Starting off bold, Ukyo lost her nerve and started to fall apart with worry near the end.

"NO! Nuthin's wrong, it ain't what I'm used ta seein' ya in is all, but ...ya look cute in it." Ranma blushed heavily as he mumbled out the end of his sentence.

Most had not heard what he said, but Ukyo had, and while her blush got stronger, she regained some of her confidence. "Well, Ah had a plan, but we don't gotta start fer a bit. Didn't figure Ah'd see ya this soon, so we got some time..."

"Well, have ya had dinner? Ya might not want food yet though... we could go ta some other place..."

"Why, is there somethin' wrong with my okonomiyaki?"

"Nuthin's wrong with it, it's th' best! I just thought that ya might like ta have somethin' else, this is a date, ya shouldn't have ta cook, an' it ain't like nobody else can make okonomiyaki as good as Ucchan!"

"Thank ya, Ranchan."

"Fer what?"

"Well, fer th' complement, a' course."

"That weren't a complement," Ukyo looked surprised, almost hurt. "...It was jus' a fact!"

The crowd agreed as Ukyo latched onto Ranma's arm and pulled him toward the door. Konatsu stopped them momentarily, to whisper in his ear. "Thank you for this, Ranma-sama. I have never seen Ukyo-sama this happy. Please, do not disappoint."

Not exactly sure what to say, Ranma just nodded, and allowed himself to be led out of the store. "Ah actually had somethin' planned fer food, an' Ah hope ya not starving after that okonomiyaki, so let's do something else first..."

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"Ah occasionally work part-time fer th' shrine that this festival's 'bout, so when Ah heard about it, seemed perfect. We can play games, have snacks, ...watch th' fireworks."

"Ya trained as a miko?"

"Well, it IS a part a' our family's traditions, so Ah had ta do a lot a' trannin' at a few... There 're various okonomiyaki related shrines all over Japan, 'specially in th' Osaka region. Okonomiyaki is life!"

Every time they started to play a game, something would happen, and trigger Ranma's curse, from water balloons, splashes from the fish tanks, to squirt guns ...it was getting to where the venders would have a cup of hot water ready when they saw them coming. Ranma was rather used to it, and it only bothered him a bit, but Ukyo was getting quite frustrated, it was her first solo date with Ranma, and she really wanted him to be male for it, especially by the end.

At one point, while Ranma was still female, they had run into Hinako who was in her adult form and loaded down with candy, toys, and a mask. She was in the process of trying to talk a vendor into selling her a pair of fish, while he was insisting that she needed to win them like anyone else. She was standing next to a pile of broken goldfish scoopers, and looking flustered. Ranma could tell that she was about to reach for one of her coins, and decided it was time for an intervention. He had been tasked to reign her in when she got out of hand after all.

After hearing she only wanted to capture a pair of fish, Ranma insisted she allow him to try, and got them both without much hassle, as well as a third goldfish as a gift for Ukyo. Hinako thanked Ranma profusely, gave him more money to 'treat his date well', collected her prizes, and ran off to find a round fish bowl. Ranma had no idea what was going on, however it made Hinako happy, and he was glad to be able to help her, after all she was 'trying' to do for him.

Before long, they had won so many prizes that they were giving them to any sad looking children they passed, just so they did not have to carry them all. The games vendors were starting to give them the eye, while the food vendors were always thrilled to see the ever-hungry pair.

As the evening wound to a close, Ukyo stopped them to get a hot cup of spiced sake, and to lead Ranma to the place she had earlier scouted to watch the fireworks. It was out of the way, had a great view, and gave them plenty of ...privacy. Pulling a thin blanket out of her bag, she laid it out and motioned for Ranma to have a seat. She curled up next to him and rested her head on his shoulder, sipping her cider.

"Shampoo hear there someone wining all prize, knew who must be..."

Ukyo almost jumped out of her skin at the sing-song sound of the voice behind them. The cup she had been holding however, had jumped, and as it flew into the air, its dark contents spilled all over Ranma's white silk shirt. "Aiyaaa! Clumsy-girl should go clean mess, and leave husband to Shampoo..."

"This is all yer fault!"

"Clumsy-girl clumsy, no is Shampoo fault..."

Not wanting to ruin her date, and not having her main weapon with her anyway, Ukyo did not want to fight, she had much better things in mind for the evening, then she came up with a plan... "Together? We both remove th' shirt, an' clean it..." Ukyo did not even wait for a response before she started to undo the fasteners on Ranma's shirt.

"Is silk, no get stain out easy... But no complain about making Ranma more naked!"

"Hey, don't I get a say in this?"

Ranma barely even finish his question before both of his paramours shouted in unison. "NO!" Shampoo pulled a spray bottle and thick towel out of her 'pocket', and handed the bottle to Ukyo, telling her to spray it heavily, and then wrap it in the wet towel, before placing it in a plastic bag to keep it wet until they could get home. By the time Ukyo had tied the bag, Shampoo was curled up on Ranma's other side, glomping him tightly.

"Hey! This is MAH date, thank ya very much!"

"Had most of night, Shampoo only date end badly too!" She glared at Ranma for a second. "Shampoo deserve happy ending to date too!"

Ukyo had few options, she could appeal to Ranma for aid, but knew there was little chance he would stand up for her, and he hated when they fought all the time anyway, he might very well just leave hem both. They did have fun last time, and she had to admit, that working together they had been able to do a lot more than they ever had on their own... "So yer willing ta not fight, an' jus' watch th' fireworks?"

"Oh, there be fireworks when Shampoo done!"

"What d'ya mean?"

"What ask for, is 'love scene'!" With the two women holding him down, Ranma was only able to stiffen up as Shampoo started kissing his still bare chest, while working her way up.

"Hey, wait!"

"No! Waste too too much time already! Join or no, Shampoo no more wait!"

"Well, this IS what Ah dreamed a' doin'..." Ukyo decided that at least for the time being, she would let bygones be bygones, and if she couldn't beat her, she would join her...

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Ranma walked into the apartment he shared with Hinako, to find she was still in her adult form, he might have inquired about this, but about the same time, she noticed that he was topless. "Well, well, well, what have we here? You had a good time then?"

"Well, I DID, but my shirt might be ruined... Hope Shampoo can get it clean, seemed pretty confident..."

"Shampoo? What happened to Kuonji-san?"

"Who do ya think spilt th' sweet sake?"

"Well, I hope you did not overindulge..."

"I didn't even get ta drink one cup, they got spilled before I got more 'en a few sips..." He did realize that he had not had a free hand after Shampoo's arrival anyway, but decided that it might be best to keep that much to himself.

"Thank you again for your help tonight, it means a lot to me."

"Aw, it was nuthin', glad ta help. Hope ya had fun too..."

"I did, but now it is time for you to study..." Hinako grinned as Ranma grimaced and dug in his pack for a new shirt.

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You guys let me know if you are happy with the chapter sizes (roughly 20-30 pages), I can make them longer or shorter as you guys prefer. I will try lean toward what the majority wants.

Come back next time for 'Detrimental Dating', or 'As the Shirt Stains'...


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry it took me so long on this one, it needed a lot more rewrites than usual. It had missing sections, unfinished sentences ...it was bad.

Nothing about this story is intended to infringe upon the rights or lefts of anyone.

Chapter 10 - The Big Picture

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Ranma had been surprised to see Hinako had still been in adult form when he had come down from the roof, once again in his cursed form. She had accurately stated that she occasionally drained animals in her sleep, and they let the matter drop as she went to run their bath while Ranma made their breakfast. Hinako did not want to explain to Ranma why she would need to take a bowl of fish to school with her, and opted to leave them at home. She mainly wanted them so she could be a better tutor for him for the time being ...and traveling at the speed of the Ranma-express was just too convenient. She was surprised to see she reverted to her younger body almost as soon as she closed the door to the apartment, unlike her normal draining, it was minor but steady, so the moment she was cut off from them, she reverted. She foresaw that they could be quite helpful, just being near them allowed her to remain in adult form indefinitely, and even after firing a blast, she had remained an adult, it was incredible! However she was hoping that having Ranma working with her, instead of against her, she would not need it as badly at school, and she wanted him to have the chance to prove himself.

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After seeing that Ranma had been learning from her lunches, Kasumi had decided that she would keep making them for him, even though he was no longer living with her ...in order to thank him for the lessons, yes, that was the reason! She had spent close to an hour on the design, showing Ranma-kun in three positions performing a forward rolling kick, and in the end, she was quite proud of her work. She had brought it, along with a lunch for her to share with Hinako, and showed up early to make sure that she could find him before he had gotten away.

She had gotten delayed by an old woman who had stopped her, asking directions, but could not seem to grasp them, and Kasumi felt it would be faster to just show the woman the way. The bell had just rung when she had arrived and Kasumi had to hurry to make sure she caught Ranma before he bought a lunch!

The crowds were pouring out of the building as she neared the it and saw Ranma exiting with Ukyo clinging to his arm in a way that reminded her of her friend, Shampoo, and looking happier than she had ever seen the girl. How nice for her. Kasumi smiled and waved, hoping to get their attention while briskly walking over to them.

"Kasumi-san! What're ya doin' here?" Ranma looked puzzled, while Ukyo tried not to let the interruption phase her good mood.

"Well, Ranma-kun, I wanted to thank you ...for your help. I could not do this without you, and I wanted to help you in return, in any way that I could." Kasumi bowed, offering him the bento upon which she had worked so hard preparing.

Ukyo just stared at the older women for a moment before looking at Ranma, and then quickly turning her head back and forth between them, not wanting to see what she thought she was seeing. "Oh, ya ain't gotta do that, Ah'm happy ta make Ranchan lunch-." The look Ukyo got from Kasumi shocked her to the core, and she quickly moved away, feeling like a kicked dog with her tail between her legs. All she could do was whimper in response. "Waaaan..."

Not really sure what he missed when he blinked, Ranma just bowed, and accepted the lunchbox. "Thanks, Kasumi-san, yer bentos're always th' best!"

Kasumi blushed while Ukyo looked as if she had just been struck with an arrow. "Thank you , Ranma-kun. I have things I need to do, however, I will see you soon." The eldest Tendo daughter bowed once more, before turning to run into the school...

Ukyo was practically in tears, almost crawling back over to Ranma as Kasumi left. "RANCHAN! How could ja lie ta meh? Ya said mah okonomiyaki was th' best!"

"It IS! Nobody makes okonomiyaki as good as Ucchan! Don't nobody come close!" Ukyo looked confused, not sure how to that that. "Look, next ta Ucchan's, everybody else's okonomiyaki is bad, but okonomiyaki ain't a bento." Ranma looked as if he had just said the most profound, and yet obvious, thing in the world.

"Why'd ya want somethin' other 'an okonomiyaki fer?"

"Hey, cookin' ain't just making food, it's an art, I thought ya a' all people, should know that, an' with Kasumi-san's bento, that's literally true. Check this out." Ranma opened the lunchbox and showed Ukyo the contents. The scene inside was far more elaborate than the last bento she had seen, she almost felt as if she had a controller, should could play Street Fighter as Ranma 'on' the lunch. "I ain't sure what these numbers an' bars are fer up here, but I can see what I gotta do here. Hold this a second, would ya?"

Ukyo nodded as she watched as Ranma bounced on the balls of his feet, contemplating what he was about to do, when Mousse hopped over the wall, lobbing chains, and various other oddities his direction. "Saotome, what have you been doing to Shampoo? I don't what, but that smile and bouncy step means it must be bad! Your suffering will be legendary, I will make you pay!"

Sensing the attack, Ranma leapt into the air, curling into a ball, quickly spinning toward his foe. He extended his body just before impact, striking Mousse in the chest with both feet, sending the optically challenged Chinese man back over the wall and out of sight.

"Well, that was easier ta figure out than I expected, now fer th' best part." Ranma rushed over to share his bento with his friend. "Ya really should try some a' this, it's great!" Ranma tried to feed Ukyo a bite with his chopsticks. She was perplexed, on the one hand, she could not believe that even Ranma could be so callous, on the other hand, he was feeding her, with his own his own chopsticks. She may have gotten to kiss him the night before, but it was all still too new of an experience for her to pass up on that opportunity, even if it was some other woman's food...

"Okay, Ranchan, but ya gotta let meh feed ya next." Ukyo hated to admit it, even to herself, but Ranma was right, the bento was incredible. While it would not be her first choice, not flat enough, she could see what Ranma had meant. She had tried some people's bento in the past, and it had never really appealed to her, mostly just sticky rice and fish sausages, nothing to write home about, even if they were cute. She had always had to make the effort to avoid cute things to maintain her cover anyway. To her, nothing could really beat something she made hot and fresh, right on the spot, and it gave her the perfect excuse to boost her income by selling them to the other students, something she always needed as a girl living on her own. However, there was just something appealing about this one, the subtle hint of flavors from the seasonings blended together all highlighting the main dishes, without overpowering them, and ingredients all seemed to perfectly complement one another. It was a masterpiece of flavor!

Ranma grinned broadly with a hungry look in his eyes. "Ucchan, I'll eat as many as ya want ta make me!"

Ukyo had lost most of her annoyance, and was basking in the tastes dancing in her mouth and the presence of the man around which almost her entire world revolved. Though, it was because of this, she had been able to hold onto some of her earlier misgivings. "So, Ranchan, ya mind tellin' meh what th' hell happened? Did Tendo-han switch th' engagement ta Kasumi-han, er what?"

"What? No! What er ya crazy?"

"Then what happened between ya? What's goin' on, Ranchan?"

"After th' kidnappin', Kasumi-san wanted ta train, ta be safer."

"Trainin'? Really? That's it?"

"A' course! Don't ya trust me, Ucchan?"

"Well, sure Ah do, but ya shore do make it hard some days..."

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After a long lunchtime talk with Hinako, Kasumi moved on to her next stop, the Nekohanten, the voices getting louder as she approached. "Stupid Mousse! Always fly off when needed! If no was member of tribe..."

"But my sweet Shampoo...!"

"Shampoo no like Mousse, no care if live or die, do what want, but leave Shampoo alone! If no help, stay gone!"

Kasumi managed to jump back in time to avoid the duck that flew past her as she neared the front of the establishment. She had not been sure why beforehand, she had just felt it was a good time to step aside, and she had listened to her instincts. She had always tended to trust her gut feelings, but this was not exactly like her normal intuition, a more urgent pull to action. Her intuition yelled and her body moved, she barely even registered that it had happened until after the fact.

Not really giving it much thought, she entered the small restaurant to see a frantic Shampoo running around cleaning the dining area, while Cologne worked in the kitchen. "Oh my!"

"Onee-chan! Shampoo is glad to see, but is very busy. Please, have seat, Shampoo bring tea." Shampoo indicated one of the clean tables and turned to head into the back when Kasumi interrupted.

"May I help?"

"What … did say?"

"Would you like some help? I know a thing or two about cleaning, and I have some free time."

Kasumi saw the hopeful look that flashed across the young gaijin woman's face, and found it adorable, but was saddened as it was crushed as quickly as it appeared. "Shampoo no can ask that, sit, bring tea."

"Oh nonsense. Let me clean in here, and you go help your grandmother in the kitchen. Just hand me an apron and let me do my thing." The young domestic's warm smile radiated a stern confidence that reminded the warrior princess enough of an elder, that she snapped to obey like one of Pavlov's dogs.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Even Cologne had been impressed by the efficiency at which the young Japanese woman worked, she had the dining area sparkling, and had joined them in the kitchen, helping to prepare for the dinner rush in no time at all. Thanks to her assistance, they had easily finished their work with plenty of time to spare before they normally opened for the evening rush.

"If Onee-chan see Airen, tell that shirt be cleaned soon. Shampoo no is quite done."

"What shirt?"

Shampoo felt guilty for her small part, as she explained how Ranma's shirt had gotten stained the night before, and how she had taken responsibility to get it cleaned. Unfortunately, when Mousse had heard her gushing about his shirt, he stormed off, leaving them with more work than they had time.

She was taken off guard by the flash of emotion she saw on her friend's face, that seemed incredibly out of place on the kind young woman's face. It made her feel so uncomfortable, Shampoo almost wished she had blinked and missed it, and was quite worried that it had been directed at her for their make-out session. She knew that Kasumi was what the Japanese called 'old fashioned', not that the expression made any sense to her, in Shampoo's experience, it was the elders who got the most excited about such things. She repressed a few memories about gossiping elders, before Kasumi had spoken.

"Please then, allow me to aid you in that endeavor ...I would not forgive myself if that shirt got ruined and I could do something about it!" Shampoo realized that there was time to work on it after all, and the two young women unrolled the wet towel, and got to work.

Between Kasumi's knowledge of cleaning, and Shampoo's knowledge of the fabric, they had the shirt clean and drying in no time at all. "Oh, thank goodness, and thank you, Shampoo-chan. Ranma-kun certainly does look handsome in this shirt."

"Aaiiyaaaa! Onee-chan think so too?"

They giggled together for a moment before a cackling Cologne had finally brought in the tea she had promised, happy to see them getting along. Shampoo had too few friends in her life, and they had too few allies in this land. "Here you are, thank you again. I don't suppose you would be interested in a job, would you? Unlike our other ...employee, you would be worth paying!"

Kasumi looked surprised for a moment. "Oh my, you do not pay Mousse-san?"

"Oh, technically we do, but we also deduct for damages since they are all due to personal neglect which could have been easily avoided, and so far the debt grows more quickly than the fool's pay. Though I do not believe you would have those same issues... It is amazing what one can accomplish when one is here to work, and not ogle one's fellow co-workers."

"Oh my..."

"I promise, we would pay you what you are worth, which is to say, quite well."

"Oh dear... I am terribly sorry, but I am afraid I just could not spare the time these days. I am just so very busy most of the time these days..."

"Well, at least allow me to pay you for your assistance, I don't think we would have been completely ready to go by opening time, if not for you."

"That is not necessary, Honored Elder, I am happy to help." Kasumi bowed and then a thought occurred to her. "However, if you would like to return the favor, perhaps, if it would not be too much trouble, when you are not too busy, you could deliver a somewhat large meal for three, here, to Ranma-kun's new address?"

Shampoo perked up quickly, grabbing the small piece of paper, as a sly grin slowly formed on her lips. "So, this where husband live now?"

Kasumi smiled, she felt good about repaying the favor of helping save Ranma's shirt. It would give her friend a slight advantage over her rival, and help level the field with 'The Shirt Ruiner' being in his class. "I need to hurry, but thank you both for your assistance." The young Japanese woman bowed. "Perhaps you could deliver the shirt as well, once it is dry."

"I believe that's our line... That is two we owe you, Tendo-san, would you like us to also deliver food to your family?"

"That will not be needed, I left something out for them..."

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"Thank you for the food!"

The Tendo household started serving themselves, acting less rowdy than they had when Ranma was there, yet still with a gusto that betrayed their eagerness to consume the large quantity of food they had been provided. The portions had been larger of late, however it seemed less fresh then they had grown accustomed. "Kasumi-chan, is this supposed to be this cold?"

"I don't think Onee-chan is home, Daddy."

"Well, of course Kasumi-chan is here! Who else could have done this?"

After a moment's thought, they all turned as one toward Akane with a look of horror on their faces. "IT WASN'T ME!" The collective sight of relief upset the youthful martial artist, who turned away with a huff.

"Of course it wasn't you, Akane-chan, nobody died."

"FINE! BE THAT WAY! I will be eating in my room!" Akane picked up her plate and stormed off.

"Maybe it was your mother... HAHAHA! But don't be silly, Kasumi-chan was just here."

"Are you sure?"

"Certainly!"

Nabiki looked skeptical, but with everyone else so sure, she relented...

"Well, no one brought me the sake I asked for earlier..."

That's because you drink too much, and it is way too early to do so! Especially for someone who has not held a job in a long time, isn't that right ...Pa-n-da-o-ji-san?"

"Urk!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ukyo and Konatsu were rushing around, almost ready to start their after school rush, when the phone rang. It was unusual for them to get phone calls unless there was a problem with a delivery or something else unpleasant, so she rushed to answer. "Hai, thank ya fer callin' Ucchan's Okonomiyaki, What can Ah do fer ya?"

"I'd like to place a delivery order for later this evening..."

"Ah'm sorry, but we don't do delivery, ya'd have ta ...wait, ya sound familiar, who is this-?"

"Your teacher, Kuonji-san, Saotome-san and I will be needing-"

"JUS' TELL MEH WER TA GO, AN' WHEN! Ah'll be thur ta make as many as ya want, fresh, an' free!"

She double checked the address, before hanging up the phone. "So THAT's where Ranchan's been hidin'!" It DID explain, to her way of thinking, how all the rumors of Ranma and their teacher had gotten started, trying her best to ignore anything that seemed contrary to that line of thought or any possible implications that those rumors could possibly be true.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"NANI! Ranma-sama chose that wench over me, when that Ukyo is only slightly prettier than before?"

"Yes ...well, that is not 'exactly' what I said, Ojou-sama!"

"That is an outrage! I am Ranma-sama's only true sweetheart!"

"Truly, that man is a disgrace to all men."

"How DARE you say such things about my Ranma-sama?" Kodachi spun on her heel, lowering an accusatory glare at her miniature man-servant. "You, Sasuke, will go without food, until you find where they are hiding my precious Ranma-sama! Go, now."

"Yes, Ojou-sama, it shall be as you ask!" Sasuke vanished in the blink of an eye, stopping just long enough to check on the young master of the house, who had been brought home to recover from his injuries ...again. His sister kept him medicated, and free from pain, or coherent thought, though it was left to him to change the young man's bandages, bed pan, clothing, making sure the feeding tube was working, and all of the other, more disgusting aspects, of his recovery... At least he would not have any desire for a meal any time soon, while he looked into his mission.

Finding one lone boy in the city, an impossible task to be sure, luckily, he had been hearing rumors, he supposed it was time to see if they were true.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ranma was rather impressed with Kasumi's continued progress with her meditation, he had even pulled out one of Hinako's long, foam floatation tubes, and lightly swung it near her head only to see her naturally dodge it without seeming to even notice. Ranma's emotions were mixed, he was proud of his student, she had developed her senses even more quickly than he had himself ...of course he WAS only a child at the time... and she did not learn other techniques near as quickly he could. Managing to keep his fragile ego intact, he decided that it was time to end their practice and choose what to do about their dinner... "Kasumi-san, will ya be joinin' us fer dinner tonight?"

"Thank you, yes, if it is not too much trouble."

"Not at all, what ya like?"

"Well, I hope it is not an imposition, but I took the liberty of placing a delivery order..."

"You did? Oh, well I hope you are hungry then, because so did I..."

As if right on cue, they heard a commotion on the other side of the door. "What're YA doin' here?"

"Shampoo asked to bring food for Onee-chan and husband! What Flatcake-Girl do here?"

"Sensei invited meh ta cook fer 'em! Anyone'd would want a fresh, crispy okonomiyaki over your old, soggy noodles!"

"Shampoo no bring noodles, is for husband, so made with love! Shampoo bring seven course meal! Start with egg drop soup, dim sum, shrimp shumai, sweet sour pork, five spice roast duck, finish with eight treasures dish, and candied banana in cinnamon coconut sauce for dessert!"

"Ya made Happosai? Eeeeeeewwww!" Ukyo was desperately trying to think of any other way to make that sound bad, but even she was tempted by the sound of that dessert! She did not get sweet things very often, but it was a guilty pleasure. Before she had been able to form a comeback, the door opened to reveal an annoyed Hinako and Kasumi, and a drooling Ranma, who was looking forward to all of the food he had heard described.

Shampoo and Ukyo looked at each other, while Kasumi and Hinako did the same. "This is all your fault!"

Ranma was pulled out of his hungry stupor, and did a double take, he expected such reactions from most of them, but from Kasumi, it was surprising. "Mmmmmmmm, fooood... Wait, what now? What's wrong? Can't we talk about it over this eight course meal?"

"But, Shampoo only bring seven..."

"That means mah okonomiyaki, a' course!"

"Hey, now, ain't no reason ta fight, 'sides, shouldn't bother th' neighbors, an' no sense lettin' all this good food get cold..." Glancing at Kasumi, he belatedly added, "And thank ya both fer doin' this..." There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice, but his desire for good food overrode any annoyance he might have felt at having his location disclosed.

They both jumped in, shouting. "Glad to!" Then glanced at each other, and looked embarrassed.

Ukyo carried her gear inside as her voice dropped to a more hushed tone, yet retained her pride as a chef. "Yer okonomiyaki won't get cold Ranchan, Ah'll make um fresh fer ya every time." Seeing him look back and smile made everything she had gone through for this worthwhile. She would have to thank Konatsu for once again closing down the restaurant alone, so she could escape early, and not come home to a mess. Her new assistant might have a long way to go before becoming an okonomiyaki chef, but as a waitress, few could compare.

Kasumi admired the many varied dishes, and the skill with which they had been delivered without spilling a drop, while Hinako was amazed by the flashy show Ukyo put on while cooking up her specialty. Ranma happily ate whatever had been placed before him, and enjoyed an enormous meal, while having the presence of mind to politely refuse Shampoo's offer to feed him, despite her disappointment. Kasumi's smile lessened slightly toward him as well, which confused him a bit, though it had only been for an instant, so he decided he must have imagined it.

The rest of dinner had gone more smoothly than Ranma had expected, considering the company, until the dishes were all cleaned up and put away, when Shampoo made an announcement! "Also have other gift for Airen!"

Ranma accepted the small package, and upon unwrapping it, he found his shirt, clean, and neatly folded. "Hey, thanks Shampoo, I really liked that shirt!"

The violet streak jumped at the opportunity to bowl Ranma over, glomping him tightly. "Airen thank Shampoo, make soooooo happy!"

Ukyo's guilt resurfaced, glad that it was not ruined, but upset to have caused it, and to have not been able to do much to help clean it. She certainly felt out of her element and could only think to prostrate herself and ask for forgiveness, she was panicking, and it showed. "Ah'm sorry, Ranchan. It was all mah fault!"

"Come on, Ucchan, don't be like that, it wasn't 'all' yer fault, but I ain't got many friends, so I do wish ya could get along... I mean, yer rivals, I get that, and there's nuthin' wrong with competin' an' all, but I don' know..." Ranma just slumped his head, unable to find the words he needed. "That much anger ain't good fer ya."

"What about ya an' Ryoga?"

"It ain't like I don't try! I might taunt, but I don't hate th' guy, even if that 'P-Chan' thing was really low... That's a good example though, ya wanna be like Ryoga? That th' kind a' life ya wanna live, runnin' 'round depressed all th' time? I think most of us have tried it at some point, ain't fun! I mean, maybe if we weren't all havin' ta worry 'bout someone gettin' mad about everything all th' time, we could work this out..."

Kasumi was somewhat disappointed, not only had her plan not worked out as well as she had hoped, but she had honestly thought that once Ranma and her sister had some time apart, things would calm down, and there would be less fighting. Not only had Akane not calmed down, but she was still seeing fighting wherever she looked ...although she had to admit, she had never interacted with everyone so often before, so she may have just not noticed it before. Another wave of disappointment washed over her, this time focused internally, not externally. That idea that so much abuse had gone on around her while she ignored it, so much harm had befallen one of their guests, while she was in charge. It was no wonder her mother was telling her to grow up, be a woman, and stop acting like such a child! Her gifts had continued even after Ranma had left, thus it could not have been his doing, and she did so want to live up to her mother's expectations! To do so, she had vowed to help Ranma find the happiness he was unable to find while under their roof. She had come to love the young man, like the little brother she had always wanted, and it pained her to watch him suffer.

"Oh poor Ranma-kun..." Kasumi turned her loving, motherly gaze to the two younger women. "Would It not be nice if the two of you could learn to play nice, share or, perhaps, take turns...?" The suggestion both screamed at her as being improper and yet, the only fair way to do things at the same time... On top of this confusion, there were other feelings mixed in that she was unable to identify. Trying for a moment, the closest feeling she could attach to it would have been 'loneliness', but that could not be correct, for was she not surrounded by friends and family? However none of the other emotions to which she was familiar felt right either, to be honest, they 'fit' even less.

The reactions to Kasumi's simple request varied somewhat, Ranma was grateful for the assistance, having never been good with dealing with 'emotional stuff', Shampoo was happy, she was always willing to 'play nice' with Ranma, Ukyo was embarrassed, unable to believe what she had heard, and Hinako was quite impressed with the young woman, she did not expect that level of practicality out of Kasumi. All three of the other women started rethinking their plans based on what they had assumed Kasumi, the one they had all considered the most prudish of the group, had seemingly suggested.

Ukyo's mind was racing, this was going to require her to step up her game once again, she had always planned to wait until they were married, but if that was what it would take to get them married, she would not object ...much. She expected that sort of thing from the uninhibited Shampoo, but to hear it from Kasumi of all people, she really felt like a prude! Was she THAT old fashioned? What she needed was a plan! She did not have many allies in this, but perhaps she could get some advice ...from somewhere. At least she always had Konatsu's help.

Grateful that the small war had been prevented, Ranma looked to Kasumi and Hinako, skeptical of the situation. "Not sure what ya were tryin' ta do, but ya don't know how close ya came ta losing yer apartment."

Hinako glared at Shampoo's delivery container. "Well, I did not know about that, but I know my cooking stinks, and I felt bad about you always cooking..."

"Oh, was that wrong of me? I was not aware that this was a secret..." Kasumi could not have looked more innocent had she tried.

"Wait, Ranchan ...cookin'?"

"Well, it's not a problem, not really, I just didn't want Sensei's place ta get trashed ...again, it's hard enough keepin' this place clean without fights breakin' out, it ain't like this place is that big..."

Ukyo gave him a strange look, she had never really taken Ranma as a 'neat freak'. 'Why didn't Ah know that? Wait-a-minute! This IS a small place, where is Ranchan sleeping?' Glancing around the small room, she saw only the one bed ...and panicked. 'NO! It can't be!'

Looking to Kasumi, the young warrior woman smiled. "Airen learn cleaning from best, is too too good husband training! Ranma teach Shampoo more soon, yes?"

'SHAMPOO KNEW? HOW? WHAT? KUSO! What ELSE don't Ah know?' Ukyo felt as if she had entered the Twilight Zone, or she would have, had she ever heard of the program.

"It doesn't matter if it gets messy, you can just use your magic to fix it again!" Hinako got excited, the child-like glee looking somewhat out of place.

"I told ya, I ain't magic!" Ranma almost jumped up, as he shouted, before he fell back, and his tone defeated. "...well, not personally."

"Aiyaaaa! No is true, Husband give Shampoo magic tingles whenever is near!"

An image of herself being held or carried by Ranma flashed through the minds of each of the women present, causing them to blush and be reminded of similar feelings in herself, getting lost in their own thoughts. Kasumi certainly had to admit, he proved to her that magic was real, and Ranma certainly could pull off what was seemingly impossible on a regular basis, none of which had to do with his curse. She had never felt anything similar to being held by the young man either, she did not even feel that safe and protected when she had been held by her father as a small child. "Oh my..."

He was not really sure what she was talking about, though Ranma did get the distinct impression that his 'manly' self was to blame, and his ego started to swell along with his growing blush. He had always known that he was too much of a good thing, however before he could reach the point of maniacally laughing out loud, Shampoo called something to their attention that none of them had previously registered.

"We talky magic, how Sensei stay big? If draining Ranma, Shampoo have words to say! Is okay, Airen?" She and Ukyo both interposed themselves between Ranma and his teacher, eying her carefully, and planning to use their bodies as a shield if they were needed.

"I'm fine, if I'm bein' drained, I ain't feelin' nuthin'..." 'But it had ta come from somewhere...' Everyone eyed Hinako cautiously, unsure what to expect. 'It can't be from Kasumi-san ...can it?'

Though she was embarrassed to talk about it, Hinako figured she did not have a choice, she would have to explain, it just would not do for them to think she was secretly draining them. If she wanted to make progress with Ranma, she needed to build up his trust, he had just started to open up a bit for her, and she did not want to lose that progress. "No, I am not draining any of you, though I do have Saotome-kun to thank for it. You might remember winning a pair of fish for me last night..."

Ranma raised an eyebrow curiously as he and Ukyo slowly nodded.

Hinako retrieved the small fishbowl, and placed it on the table before them. Everyone stared at the two fish squaring off with each other, Ranma was the first to make the connection. "So you are draining the ki from these fish, through the hole in the top of the fishbowl?"

"And you call yourself 'dumb'." She gave Ranma a warm smile. "Yes, exactly. These are-"

"Siamese Fighting Fish, is bred only to fight. Have too too much qi, one is equal three war dog, seven fighting cock, or even young Nujie Zu warrior!"

Her flash of annoyance from being interrupted by the poorly spoken Chinese girl faded just as quickly as it came, allowing her to recover her usual aloofness. "Um, yes, well, just so. I did this in order to be a better tutor for you..." Blushing, she turned away, acting a bit like a schoolgirl herself. "We both know I am ...easily distracted when I am not in this body, and I certainly couldn't keep draining you, and expect you to study effectively ...that would not work out well."

'TUTORING RANCHAN! ...AS AN ADULT!' "What kinds a' things are ya teaching?" The sultry look on the instructor's features unintentionally gave off as she leaned into respond to the chef's query, really threw Ukyo off her rocker! She had already been picturing some rather tantalizing things between the pair, a few of which even involved a bit of nudity, now her latest vision had the two of them going into the small changing room, and turning the 'occupied' sign over as the door closed, revealing an eighteen or older rating, effectively shutting her out of her own imagination spot!

"Everything I can!" The smile upon her lips sent steam shooting out of Ukyo's ears before the young entrepreneur deflated to the floor in a puddle. "Saotome-kun's education was certainly lacking, due to the frequent travels, and we have a lot of ground to cover!" She turned her attention toward Ranma. "I intended to make sure that you not only graduate, but as one of the top students in your class! You see, I have a dream, that people will respect me as a teacher, and not just fear my discipline! I want to teach eager young minds, and fill them with my vast knowledge, and all of that starts with you, Saotome-kun! If I can earn your respect as a teacher, and get you to behave in my class, the rest of them are sure to follow! We can help each other, and then together, we can help so many others!" A light seemed to shine on her from above and smaller lights sparkled around her as she completed her passionate proclamation!

Kasumi quietly applauded, silently wishing the instructor good luck in her achieving her goals.

"Sensei, that might have more impact if ya weren't playing with a paddle ball..." Hinako quickly tried to hide her toy behind her back, not sure when she had even picked it up.

Ranma's present paramours tuned the woman out part way through her monologue, and Shampoo had begun arguing with a recently reconstituted Ukyo, before they inevitably turned their attention back on Ranma himself. "Why no come to Shampoo? Teach, everything Airen need know!"

"Oh yeah, 'Shampoo help Airen learn Japanese, too too good!' ...yeah right!" Ukyo chuckled, giving her rival a superior look.

"And Pancake-girl accent is so much better? Shampoo have Great-Grandmother to help where lacking, who help have?"

Ukyo's face dropped, realizing her error, she did still have trouble with the Tokyo dialect, preferring the 'more friendly' and comfortable Osaka-ben, nor did she have any grand-master elder to call upon for aid. She had a kunoichi, but she preferred a less deceitful path. She had seen how most of Shampoo and Kodachi's plans, and even a few of her own, involving tricks, or magic, tended to backfire... The hurt looks she had seen on Ranma's face in those moments when he learned what they had done, she would rather die that to see that again. "Naw, ya right, Ah got nobody..."

Hinako could not stand to see one of her students suffering, and clearly so hurt. She wanted to support her in any way she could. "You do share a class, and know the current material, most of your scores are well above average. We are talking about the very basics for now anyway..." She spared a glance at Ranma, who winced a bit at the 'basic' comment, but said nothing.

Ukyo was not sure she wanted to trust help coming from the largest temptation to Ranma's chastity, especially in light of these new revelations! The two of them spending so much time together, and now she can be in that body, wearing outfits that seem even skimpier than Shampoo on occasion! Showering together, sleeping together, oh why could it not have been her place he stayed at this time...? However, she was desperate, and growing worse with each new bit of information she learned, she was grasping for any straw she could grab. What else could she do? Being from Osaka, she could not turn down a free gift! "Yeah, an' we can work together almost every day!" Even if she would still get evil glares from Akane, but at least she had prevented her nominal friend from attacking her Ranchan ever since they broke up, and he seemed to appreciate it. She had to take her victories where she could.

"Oh, then no mind if Shampoo take nights then..."

"That seems fair... HEY! Now just ya wait-a-minute!" This brought her out of her daze, and refocused her attention back onto her nemesis. "This an' that ain't th' same thing. Don't cha go tryin' none a' that! It took meh too long ta get a date! Ah waited more 'an ten years! Ain't mah fault ya can't go ta school!" Ukyo was leaning in, getting up in Shampoo's face, her aura blazing.

"UCCHAN! Please calm down... I get some say in this, don't I?"

Shampoo did her best to keep her calm, wanting to show that SHE was not the one starting the fights. "Was just joke!"

Ranma glanced at Kasumi and Hinako after Ukyo calmed a bit after being scolded. "Well, I hope yer pleased, I'm goin' ta my room..."

Everyone looked at Ranma with a confused expression. "You have a room?"

Ukyo let out a huge sigh of relief. 'Oh thank the kami!' "Where, where're ya stayin'?" The question earned her a couple of accusatory glares, as Shampoo looked to Ranma, curiously, eagerly awaiting his response.

"On th' roof!" With that, he hopped out of the window.

Kasumi did not like to see people fighting in anger at all, however the look of hurt and desperation of Ranma's face called out to her, and she felt the need to act. She jumped up, to try and stop their fight, but ended up tripping over a cord, and landing on the bed, her skirt flipped over her head.

The reactions from the other three women were sharp, even Shampoo was surprised to see the sexy, pastel blue, lacy panties and matching garter and stockings set that she was wearing. Though it DID confirm in their minds that Kasumi had meant what they had thought earlier in the evening, it seemed she really was more promiscuous than any of them would have ever guessed!

Kasumi did her best to recover, glad that Ranma had not seen her embarrassing moment, they were all girls, so it was all right. "I am sorry you had to see that, pardon me. However, Kuonji-san, this is not a productive direction, perhaps the two of you could find a less destructive way to settle your arguments..."

Noticing what the cord Kasumi had tripped over was attached to out of the corner of her eye she saw her chance and pointed to Hinako's game console. "Shampoo have idea, said play, so challenge at game!"

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Once things had calmed down, the only fighting was on the game, and over who would get to play next, Kasumi walked to the front of the building and called out toward the roof. "Oh Ranma-kun, could you come down here for a moment please?"

She immediately heard a light scuffle and Ranma landed before her, causing her to almost lose her balance. Luckily, Ranma was quick, and held her to prevent her falling. It had reminded her of a day soon after he arrived when they ran into each other on the stairs, except this time, she instinctively wrapped her own arms around the boy as well. She was quite glad that she did, though it caused her to lose her train of thought momentarily.

"Uh, are ya, okay, Kasumi-san? Did ya need somethin'?"

Ranma's soft breath on her ear was almost too much for the young woman, and she quivered in his arms, her knees almost buckling. Kasumi's mind raced, remembering all of the times he had carried her before, and the feelings that came with them. She did not completely understand them, but she knew she did not want them to end. "Cou-Could y-y-you take me home, please...?"

"Sure." Not hesitating, Ranma lifted the eldest Tendo daughter into his arms, and leapt into the sky, glad to have an excuse not to be near the building that, if he was lucky, would still be standing when he returned.

They had traveled nearly a kilometer before she had recovered enough to remember she had need to talk to the young man she was starting to have trouble thinking of as her younger brother. "Ranma-kun?"

"Hai?"

"Ninomiya-sensei and I were talking, and something has us concerned, especially in light of the recent morning showers. We do not wish to see you sleeping on the roof any longer, and are afraid that you might get sick."

"Oh ain't nuthin' ta worry 'bout, I don't get sick."

"You say that, but we would both feel much better, if you were not to take that unnecessary risk."

"Did sensei put ya up ta this?"

"Not exactly, it was more my idea, though, your teacher agrees with me. I was horrified when I found out you had been sleeping up there, without a tent or anything, that's even worse than camping where you were!"

"Well, I got facilities, an' can cook an' stuff easier, so it's better, but I can't, it just ain't right, I'm a guy. There's only the one bed, and there ain't exactly any other rooms..."

The pleading look on Kasumi's face when he glanced down at her made him feel guilty, and he almost stumbled as they bounced off of the next roof. "Please, Ranma-kun, for me? If you are going to get rained on anyway, you could just change into a girl first, and sleep where it is warm! It is okay if you are both girls, isn't it?"

"Not really, 'cause, just 'cause I look like a girl, don't make me one where it matters." Kasumi's large, sad eyes looked as if they were about to start crying at any second, and Ranma's resistance crumbled. "Okay, okay, if it means that much ta ya, I'll figure sometin' out... I promise, jus', don't cry!"

"Oh, thank you, Ranma-kun!" Kasumi was overjoyed, and without thinking, she leaned in and kissed the young man on the cheek. She felt their angle shift slightly, and then panicked as Ranma's forehead slammed into a tree branch causing them to stumble. Ranma recovered quickly, and managed to take the fall himself, preventing Kasumi from getting a scratch, however he was unable to say the same thing about himself... "RANMA-KUN! Are you all right? Oh my!"

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Once Shampoo realized that Kasumi was gone, and Ranma was not coming back any time soon either, she decided that she had beaten the chef enough times in Street Fighter Two, and it was time to head home. After all, she had to get ready for her plan later that night...

Ukyo was surprised Shampoo obviously let her instructor win, and left the two of them to battle it out as she left, but was determined to practice more, so she could put in a better showing next time. There was no way she would let that brazen hussy get the better of her!

"Kuonji-kun, we should talk."

Ukyo stopped packing up her gear, and gave her teacher an incredulous look, wondering what she had in mind. "About what?"

"Saotome-kun, of course. I would like to help you. You are also one of my students, and I am compelled to assist you both..."

"Hinako-sensei!"

"Kuonji-kun!" The two women shared a bonding hug, before they started making plans.

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Ukyo was starting to feel desperate, the closer she got to the man to whom she pledged her life, the further away from him she felt. She had worked with Hinako for a bit of time, but neither of them had come up with many ideas, and the one she had, was not one that she was willing to share, since the 'guardian' of her target, may well object and warn him. She had left instructions with Konatsu, in case she did not return that night, and with any luck, she would be able to practice that game on her own after school!

In the meantime, she had a goal to meet, if Ranma was sleeping on the roof, alone, then it was her duty as his bride to be, to keep him warm! Dressing in her yukata, the sexiest thing she owned, she leapt out and into the night. Unfortunately, when she landed on the roof of her destination, she was not alone! "What're ya doin' here?"

Shampoo was wearing a pink negligee of almost transparent silk, her silhouette easily seen with the moonlight behind her. "Come keep husband warm, what loser do?"

Kodachi had already dropped her trench coat, and reveled her own lacy black lingerie. "Ohohohohohoho! If the two of you are here, then is seems as though Sasuke's information was correct!"

Both of them turned to face the gymnast with an accusatory tone. "You!"

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Ranma woke to noises from above, and being on the top floor, he had a sneaking suspicion he know what it was. Barely managing to squeeze his curvier body through the smaller window in the bathing room, so as not to wake his host. Climbing up onto the roof, Ranma saw Ukyo, Shampoo, and Kodachi in a three-way stand-off, each one throwing taunts, but waiting for the others to make the first move.

"What th' heck-?"

"The red-headed harlot! You are here too? Now I am positive I am in the right place, I will not let the three of you prevent me from getting to my Ranma-sama!" Kodachi launched herself toward Ranma, with a snarl of rage warping her lovely features.

Turning as one, the three teens sent the gymnast flying into the horizon. "Now, ya' mind tellin' me what yer doin' here? As if I have ta ask.." He just then noticed the dropped coat and the lack of covering on Shampoo, and quickly turned away from them with a blush on his face.

"Loving wife, come keep husband warm on cold night!"

"Ranchan, ya lied ta us! Are ya really sleeping with th' teacher?"

"NO, a' course not! Until today, I did sleep up here, but Kasumi-san made me promise ta stop sleepin' out here every night in th' cold an' rain, so I turned inta a girl, an' slept in th' changin' room, er I was, 'til ya three started makin' a racket up here..."

As the two women started to close in on him, he started to panic. "Come on Ranchan, yer wet, ya must be cold..."

"Let us keep Ranma warm, make sure no regret. Trust Shampoo."

"Oh like that's supposed ta help, who'd trust ya?"

"What, did say?"

"Quick, Ranchan's gettin' away!" They quickly forgot their fight, and chased after the roof-hopping red-head.

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Ukyo arrived home, her yukata torn apart, the belt long ago snagged by a tree branch, her hair was a mess, her bow also long gone, and she was missing a sandal. She quickly regretted going traditional, and not wearing her underwear... Konatsu saw her enter the building, shortly after dawn, and ever the optimist, hoped for the best. "Ukyo-sama, you look quite ...disheveled. Did you have a successful night?"

The look of death on her face told the kunoichi everything. "Hell NO! An' didn' git no sleep neither!"

Konatsu quickly ran a head to prepare her outfit, knowing she would need to go to the public baths before school.

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Cologne was enjoying a smoke, along with a hot cup of tea, to warm her old bones, when she saw her almost completely naked great-granddaughter, draped in the taters of her nightie, enter the empty building, thankful that Mousse was still asleep. "So, are you trying out a new hobby, or did your night go well?"

"Shampoo no want talk about!"

Setting down her cup, the ancient matriarch hopped over, and began picking twigs out of Shampoo's hair. "Calm yourself dear, let us get you cleaned up and you can tell me all about it."

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"So, even after chasing off that Kuno girl wearing underwear, the son-in-law still ran away from you, and lost you both? Well I am sure the three of you certainly gave anyone else out last night an interesting show! I have to say, I am disappointed. What would your mother think? Do you even want to catch the boy?"

Shampoo jumped up, jiggling provocatively, not that there had been anyone around who cared about such things to bare witness. "More than anything! Shampoo do whatever takes!"

The old woman cracked a smile. "Fine then, that is good. Get dressed, we are going to do some research to see what we can learn about Japanese mating rituals ...and replace this poor thing. Was it foolish to think that anyone connected to Happosai, would not be willing to jump at the chance to bed you? That boy never ceases to amaze me... Well, not unless... naaaahhh."

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Having slept in the one place he figured no one would ever look for him, Ranma got up from his desk, and stumbled toward the locker room, to get clean and change back out of his gym uniform. Hinako had made him promise not to sleep in his regular classes anymore, and he wasn't going to miss out on lunch, so he did what he could to make up for his lost sleep that morning, but now it was time for practice.

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He hated to admit it, but he almost missed having Genma around, at least in the mornings to spar, he had not even seen Ryoga for a while, and Kuno was still out 'sick', he was starting to think he might need to go back to the Tendo's just to have someone to practice with!

Ranma's grumbling hike back to the lockers was interrupted by his nominal guardian. "Did I hear you correctly Saotome-kun? Did you just say you missed your father and wanted to go back? Is living with me SO dissatisfactory?"

"Well, yeah, I mean, no, but... I mean, I'm grateful an' all, but ya ain't got no room, an' it ain't right for a guy an' a pretty girl ta live together in such a small place, but I was just sayin' I miss havin' th' old panda ta beat on, er I mean spar with, yeah... I ain't had a good sparing partner in a while, maybe I need ta go find th' old ghoul, or th' pervert..."

"So you are NOT trying to run away again?"

"Well, I would go back ta campin', but I promised Kasumi-san I'd stick it out a while, an' once given, Ranma Saotome's word is always kept!"

"Then where were you this morning? I thought you had also promised to not sleep on the roof any more..."

"I didn't! I was sleepin' in th' changin' room, an there was a lot of noise, so I went up ta see what it was an' th' three girls were arguin'."

"Three? Tendo-san was there as well?"

"Oh no, Akane'd never get up there without help, it was Kodachi."

"Kodachi?"

"Kuno. You've met, it's that crazy gymnast, the principal's daughter."

"Oh..."

"Yeah, so, when I went ta stop th' fight, they all came after me, only neither Kuno sibling understands me when I try ta explain the curse, so Kodachi hates my girl side, cause I'm tryin' ta keep 'em apart, which is true, an' attacks me. After dealing with that, th' others are tryin' ta do stuff ta me, an' so I had ta run er I dunno what would a' happened ta me..."

"You don't know?"

"Well, I mean, I got an idea, I ain't dumb, but..."

"What do you mean, 'you have an idea'? How old are you again?"

"Hey, hey! No need ta get personal! So I ran off, an' eventually came here, and slept in my gym uniform, here in the classroom, didn't figure anyone'd look fer me here..."

Hinako made a mental note of one more topic she was going to need to cover in her tutoring... She had planned to give Ranma an ear full about going off to play all night, but she had nothing left, he had complied as best he could, given the situation. "Saotome-kun, I am sorry the place is so small, I never expected to have company there, well, not that kind anyway, but there is not a lot I can do about that right now, although the rents are not too bad in this part of town, the waiting lists are long, even then the turnover is fast. So finding another place is not going to be easy, especially on my income, however-"

"See, that's another reason I shouldn't be there! I don't wanna cost ya money! It was bad enough with the Tendos, but I didn't have no say in that, but this I do!"

"I am not complaining, I just hope you can be understanding in this situation. You are not costing me anything more than I want to spend, do not trouble yourself over that, it is not what I meant. I only mean that it would be difficult to find another place, if you can stand it, you are welcome to stay with me as long as you want, it is no burden. I want you here. Besides, you gave me your word you would study with me, and I intend to hold you to it!"

"Yer a bad liar, but as I said, I gave my word, so we're stuck together fer a while."

Hinako felt relieved, they had begun making progress, and she would hate to see that roll back. The boy needed help and going back with that father is his, to that house of neglect, was sure to be the opposite of that. "Thank you, Saotome-kun! You will not regret it!" The tall teacher quickly embraced her pupil, and splashing him with a bit of water from her fish bowl.

"So, ya brought them did ya? Well, I was goin' ta get a shower anyway..."

"Oh, I'm sorry! I did have to take the bus after all, and well, I was worried when you were not home this morning..."

"Ya were 'worried' about me?"

"Well of course, when I woke up and found you were gone, how could I not worry?"

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Ryonami had an important assignment that morning, the latest batch of Ranma's photographs with the mosaic censoring had almost all been sold, and she was supposed to leak word of the uncensored version's existence to a few select people before her usual morning activities, and being one of Nabiki's most trusted assistants, she had a lot of them to do. Although, some of the perks she got on this job made any risk worth while, like getting to make her own copies of that photo long before anyone else could even see them, never mind BUY them! She had already 'ruined' one of them and had to replace it, so she had made a drawer-full for herself! How Nabiki had been able to get that hunk to pose for such a provocative photograph at all, never mind doing it nude, was well beyond her, but then that was why Nabiki was the senpai and she was her kouhai!

Rubbing the worn spot on the picture in her pocket made her feel better, but as she hurried through the hall, she heard voices from around the corner. Quietly moving closer, she started to be able to make out Ranma and Hinako's voices well before she could peek around and see them hugging! She quickly pulled her camera out and caught the shot! Nabiki was sure to reward her for that tidbit of information! Wait, what was that she said? She was upset to see that Ranma was not next to her when she woke up that morning? "EEP!"

Both of them turned the moment she squeaked! Before either of them could focus on her, the jealous young girl shoved her camera back into her pocket, and she ran as hard and fast as she could.

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The commotion drawing their attention, the duo dashed to see if there was a problem that needed them. As Ranma turned the corner, intending to give chase, he slipped on something, and slammed into the wall, head first. Hinako leaned down and picked up the offending item and got equal parts offended and intrigued ...but 'mostly' offended! "NANI-O! What, how, why, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Why do you have a nude photograph of you here in the hallway?"

"Ah, damn it! Nabiki's always sellin' pictures a' me ta Kuno, an' probably others too."

"So you knew about this?"

"Well, it ain't like I can do much about it, I'm always gettin' splashed, an' I don't always got a shirt on, I'm a guy, ya know? But, since I was on th' hook ta 'em fer freeloadin', I can't really complain too much..."

"That does not explain this. You are male, completely nude, and quite obviously in the sexiest pose 'I' have ever seen!"

Ranma blushed a bit. "Ya think so? Wait, WHAT? Let me see that!"

"I do not believe that would be a good idea, I need to make sure this get disposed of, properly... I believe you were going to take a shower?"

"Well, as long as ya make sure no one else sees it first, then I guess that's fine." The trusting young man, turned girl, ran off to get another hot shower before class.

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"...So then we find this picture a' me, th' REAL me, naked! I'm SO gonna have ta have words with Nabiki next time I..."

Ukyo was offended ...that she did not get to see the picture, and she was outraged for her friend's embarrassment ...and that is was Nabiki, who would likely charge and arm and a leg for it! "Me too! Don't ya worry, Ranchan, Ah'll defend yer honor!"

"Really?" With the look on his friend's face, he almost felt sorry for the middle Tendo sister.

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Ukyo's aura was blazing as she stomped through the second year's floor. "Where ya at, Nabiki Tendo? Come out an' face meh!"

Quietly spinning out from behind a locker that she calmly leaned against. "So, you are looking for me, are you? What ever could you want with little old me ...'Sugar'?"

"Ah've heard some disturbing news, that cha've been takin' naked pictures a' mah Ranchan ...AS A GUY!"

"Anything is possible, what if I 'did' have such a photograph?"

The young chef was on her knees, pleading. "Why didn't ya talk ta meh sooner? SELL IT TA ME! NOW!"

'Ryonami-chan, you could not have done your job more effectively if you'd tried...' "But why would YOU need pictures, I thought you would be one of the ones who already had something better than ...pictures."

"WHO? Who has better?"

"Well, I guess we know one person who doesn't..." The yen signs flashed in her eyes as she heard a very loud, 'Ka...CHING!'

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"Are you kidding? Since we broke up, that idiot hasn't done anything except flirt with other girls ...and the TEACHERS too! I heard they were hugging this morning, and complaining that Ranma was gone off with other girls, when the teacher woke up this morning! How all those girls can degrade themselves like that? It makes no sense!"

Akane's friends were a bit jealous, but as her best friends, even if she broke up with him, they were required to wait, and not try for him themselves any time soon... Of course with people like Hinako-sensei and that Chinese girl to compete with, they felt rather plain, and undesirable. "I know, let's take Akane out for a make-over!"

"Yeah! That is just the thing to cheer you up!"

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Shopping around all morning, they had purchased several items, including a small collection of lingerie, and conducted a number of interviews with random male young adults. Thus far while asking hypotheticals, most every man reacted much as they expected Ranma should, even if many were more shy than the men they knew back home, they found that almost every male interviewed not only found Shampoo attractive, but would do horrific things to themselves or others for the opportunity to even touch her, and considering her time as a waitress here, Shampoo was not particularly surprised. There had to be some reason the boy reacted the way he did... She could tell by his reactions and the longing interest she saw when looking deep into his eyes, but she could also see nervousness, panic, and fear, even when she was not in her cursed body.

Lost in thought, Shampoo blindly followed her elder into their next stop, where they were stopped by one of the store attendants. She was too busy to pay attention to what was said, but when her great-grandmother's voice gained 'that' tone, one snapped to attention, if one knew what was good them!

"I assure you, young man, my granddaughter is old enough to view this material."

The clerk did not wish to argue with someone who made his grandmother look young, and let them do as they pleased.

Somewhere, behind the facade of this less-than-innocent looking bookstore, a clerk attempted to talk to his superior. "But sir, I really do believe those were the droids we were looking for."

"Listen Noob, I already told ya, these ain't them! Now get back to guard duty!"

Ignoring the voices from the back, Cologne turned to her great-granddaughter, and pointed toward the rest of the store. "Go, look around, see what calls to you..." Turning back to the young clerk, she cracked a wide grin. "Listen sonny-boy, we're doing some research, trying to find what is popular with the young people around here these days. Do you think you could help an old lady out, choose some of the most popular material?"

The clerk had to shake his head to banish the foul vision of Cologne wearing some of their 'more popular items', before his mind caught a hold of the least disgusting possibility that fit. "Oh, you are writing a story? Nothing bad I hope, I don't think the boss would want to be mentioned in something that shows us in a negative light..."

"Oh, no need to worry, my granddaughter is working on a term paper, nothing that will get you into any trouble, I assure you. Now, if you would be so kind..." The matriarch followed him around as he pointed out various media and other items, and explained what they were, and the general types of people with whom they were popular. She would occasionally throw some of the items into a bag she was suddenly carrying. She truly loved the look on his face when she would occasionally ask detailed questions.

As they neared the end of the tour, Cologne's bag was bordering on full, and they were approaching the register once again. "Thank you, young man." The ancient matriarch winked and blew the man a kiss, which caused him to freeze up, crack, and shatter into pieces onto the floor. "Can we get another one, I think I broke this one..."

A voice yelled from the back. "If you break it, you bought it!"

"Really? I was not aware the boy was for sale!" Waiting for a new clerk, she hopped back onto her staff, and looked around. She was only a bit surprised when Shampoo ran up to her, clearly excited about something.

"Oh, Great-grandmother, this one look like Husband!"

"Oh, really? Well, that explains a lot, it's no wonder you are so insistent on the lad, better make sure you get a spare... It is always good to ...practice."

"No no, Great-grandmother, no is reason, but is too too nice bonus!"

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"Ah, a cool afternoon and warm sake, could it get any better?"

"Well, Ranma and Akane could be married and taking over the dojo already, but otherwise, no, they just go together like a woman and dirty dishes!"

"Ha Ha! ...or laundry!"

"Good one, Tendo-kun!" Looking around at the dirty sake cups, and completely missing the look of death they had received from Nabiki, who had been watching television, Genma took note of something he found interesting. "Hey Tendo-kun, Kasumi-chan's afternoon shopping trips seem to be taking longer and longer these days..."

"Mmmm, you could be right, Saotome-kun..."

"Uncle Saotome? If I am not making money off of your son, what, exactly, are you still doing here? Without the deal to merge the families you mentioned still being in effect, if you have forgotten, we have no reason to support you, so if you are not out there getting a job or trying to bring Ranma back to earn me some money, then maybe I should just sell you to the circus! ...Or perhaps you have something else in mind? I heard what Ranma-kun said, did you want to be Akane's next iinazuke instead, was THAT your plan? As the guy's father, you ARE liable, after all..."

"NO! I, um, can't, yeah, that's it, um, previous engagement, yeah, that's it... Besides, that boy will come back ...eventually."

"Where IS your wife, Saotome-kun? Perhaps you should visit more often..."

"You have a wife?"

"Oh no, that's not an option, can't seem to get a hold of each other..."

"Should I make a search? Maybe then I can recover my losses!"

"Erk! NO! You can't do that! Poor wife of a wandering martial artist, and all that!"

"Then perhaps you ought to put forth a bit more effort getting me my money... or that is exactly what I will do." Oh yes, she would be getting someone on that by morning... Always best to have what you need, BEFORE you needed it.

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Somewhere in the greater Tokyo area, a lovely woman, in a formal kimono, and carrying a long bundle, sneezed. Not feeling particularly ill, and not being allergy season, she silently prayed that it was a good sign. Was her boy out there, thinking of his mother?

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Ranma was embarrassed, the sudden sneeze caused him to misstep while showing Kasumi a new kata, and had to start over. "This is exactly why I was worried, sleeping up here, it is far too cold at night, and you cannot be getting enough sleep. A growing boy your age, with a healthy, active life, you need plenty of rest to keep up with all you do."

"I'm sorry, Kasumi-san, I did try, an' I didn't sleep outside, but I didn't get a lot today..."

"Oh Ranma-kun, I am not mad, but you need to take care of yourself, you are the only you we have, and can't be replaced."

Ranma turned away shyly, before remembering something he wanted to ask. "Ano, Kasumi-san?"

"Hai?"

"Those lunches ya been makin' me. Where've ya been gettin' those techniques ya puttin' on there?"

Perking up, the young woman's smile almost knocked her training partner over. "Oh, do you like them? I pass by this arcade everyday when I do my shopping, I saw this game in there one day, and it reminded me of some of the moves that you and your father have done, so I tried to emulate the ones I remembered. Though I thought you deserved a more personal touch, so I wanted them to look like you instead of those little people in the game box."

"A game? Then I guess ya probably don't know th' secret ta that last one then... Was hopin' ya had a secret scroll er somethin'."

"The secret? To the game? No, I am afraid I do not know how to play the game, I just studied the pictures on it... Although I do not really remember any more."

"Oh, no, I don't care about th' game, not really, I just wanted ta learn ta use 'em in a fight. It took me a bit ta get that last one, it felt weird movin' my arms like that, but with today's, I have ta admit, I'm a bit stumped."

"You are learning how to do those moves, from a game, based on the little drawings I made?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, they're a big help, I learned a lot 'cause a' 'em. Thank ya." Ranma bowed deeply, trying to be as sincere as he could in his recognition of her efforts. "It means a lot ta me, that ya'd be this nice ta me fer no reason."

Kasumi was beside herself, to have her work not only to have been appreciated, but helpful to him as well, she could not believe it. She did not do what she did for the praise, and she was sure that her family valued her efforts, but at the same time, to see such heartfelt gratitude on handsome boy's features really moved her heart, and filled a small hole that had previously gone unnoticed. "It is certainly not 'for no reason'! You are a kind young man, and you deserve nice things to happen to you." Unable to resist, she pulled the almost paralyzed martial artist into her arms, not minding that he did not return her embrace.

"Ka-Ka-Ka-Kasumi-san!"

"Yes, Ranma-kun?"

"LOOK OUT!" Ranma dodged, pulling Kasumi with him, narrowly avoiding the ribbon that snapped where they had been standing, and managed to free himself from the gentle arms, of the lovely young woman.

Kasumi reluctantly relinquished her grasp as her mind snapped back to the moment, instinctively moving out of the way of a bowling pin that came flying her way, only to see Ranma snatch it out of the air and launch it back too quickly for the gymnast to react, though she 'caught it' with her body.

Ranma almost growled as he ran toward their interruption, picking up her dropped coat from the night before. Gathering the now slack ribbon in his free hand, he wrapped her in the coat, and tied it off with the her weapon. "Sasuke, I know yer down there, take yer master home please." With that, he tossed his bundle over the side aiming for where he knew the small ninja would be.

"Ranma-kun, are you sure that was safe?"

"Oh sure, in fact, come here, an' close yer eyes. Now reach out- No, with yer senses, not yer hands, and feel. Ya might be able ta sense th' other people in th' building, they are mostly pretty weak, but th' two just below us-"

"I DO! I feel eight people in the building, one cat, three birds, the two people in the bushes below, seventeen in the building next door... Oh my! How did I do that?"

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Tune in next time for, 'Dating Disasters', or 'Six Scents'.


	11. Chapter 11

You can't own people, maaan...

I did not want to break up the final scene in this chapter, so I did almost all of it in one. Sorry it took so long again, but in order to make it up to you, here is an extra long chapter.

Filing Chapter 11 - Ramagi: Brilliant Park

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Despite some strong coffee, Ukyo was still exhausted, she had even fallen asleep in class earlier that day. Luckily, Hinako had been feeling sympathetic, and only mildly reprimanded her before telling her to stop by after work. Thankfully it had been a slow rush, yet she still had trouble keeping up. All she really wanted to do was to fall asleep, and let Konatsu close shop, but there was no way she was going to miss out on this chance to spend time with Ranma, she felt as though she had missed out on so much of his life and everyone else knew her best friend and future bridegroom better than she! There was so much more she needed to learn, okonomiyaki was almost everything, but there was one more thing she needed in her life!

She washed up while Konatsu brewed her another pot of coffee, which she downed before taking off, praying that she did not end up spending another night like the last. 'PLEASE, let it be relaxing!' Shampoo was probably already there, nuzzling up in his lap like the conniving cat she was! Oh, she needed to hurry!

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Ranma was just returning from taking Kasumi, almost, home when Ukyo came ripping around the corner and almost ran right into him. Unlike Shampoo who loved to sneak up and surprise him, she had been doing nothing to hide her presence, and he caught her, preventing any damage. "Ucchan! Is everythin' all right?"

"RANCHAN! Ah got here as fast as Ah could!"

"I can see that."

"Didn't miss it, did Ah?"

"Miss, what?"

"Ya didn't eat without meh, did ya?"

"Not in a while, no... Why don't ya come inside, rest for a bit..."

Trying to give her most fetching smile, Ukyo succeeded in only looking rather frazzled. "Ah'd love ta!"

Ranma tried to set her down, but she stumbled on her rubbery legs, and he decided to just carry her inside to a grinning Hinako.

"Oh dear, I do hope you are not planning to go out and have fun tonight!"

Ukyo looked a bit disappointed and confused, wondering what was going on, but relieved to see no one else in the small apartment.

"You have too much studying to do young man!" Fishbowl in hand, Hinako tried to play the stern parent.

Ranma knew something was up, even his acting was not that bad, but he did promise both Hinako and Kasumi that he would study, and he did not plan to go back on his word, even if he hated every moment of it... Most of what they covered always seemed so pointless and boring. What did it matter if his penmanship was bad? Who cared what year some ancient treaty was signed? He didn't need no math, er grammar, er nuthin', he was a martial artist, and all he needed was the art! Just look at Pops, and the old man, oh, wait...

While both of them were excellent martial artists, they were both lacking horribly as people, and the last people he wanted to emulate, the old man didn't need to study history anyway, since he lived through most of it! NOT that HE needed school to make him a better person than either of them, but if they think it's a waste of time, then there might be something to it! "Okay, just tell me what ta do..."

"Ooo, Ranchan, let meh make ya some okonomiyaki, ya need some brain-food if yer gonna study! I got jus' th' thing!"

"Oh no, Ucchan, ya can barely stand, ya need ta rest, sit here. Let me cook ya somethin' instead fer once."

Ukyo swooned, if her legs had been able to hold her they would have buckled, as it was she melted into the cushion. Her Ranchan was going to cook for her, and take care of her, this was turning into the BEST day ever! Her voice was weak, and mostly went unheard, even by her. "Ranchan, suki dai yo..."

"Oh no, I won't hear of it! You need to study! I will go out and get us some take out, you two kids stay here and study hard, and don't do anything baaaad!" Hinako winked as she turned toward the door, carrying her fishbowl, and completely missing the look of death she received from Ukyo before realizing that it meant she was about to be ALONE WITH RANMA!

'BEST TEACHER EVER!'

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Akane had been having a VERY mixed month. On the one hand, she had so many frustrating problems lately, with no one to take them out upon, and all without her 'widdle P-Chan' to confide in, which was one of the problems she needed to vent about! How could that horrible Ranma turn that poor Ryoga into her pet P-Chan, did he not know what that meant to her?

On the other hand, she did not have to worry about what perverted things that bastard was doing, she still did mind you, but she did not HAVE to do it, and that was a start. She also had been drained by Hinako a few times thanks to that stupid detention taking up her afternoons, what did she ever do to deserve that anyway? It's not like it was anyone who mattered, and the baka Kuno deserved it anyway, almost as much as Ranma! Best of all, Kasumi was not home yet, and it was time to start dinner!

As Akane hurried down the stairs, she heard a pleasant, "Tadaima!" from the front door.

"Ah, Kasumi-nee-chan!"

"Why hello, Akane-chan, are you doing well?"

"I guess..."

"I do not see Uncle Saotome's shoes..."

"Left a while back, said something about not being back 'til late'."

"Okay, thank you, Akane-chan. I will be in the kitchen if you need anything."

"But, I was just gonna..."

"Oh, do not worry, I will have dinner for you in no time at all, you just relax..."

"FINE!" The youngest Tendo turned and stomped her way back up the stairs.

"Akane-chan, is there something you would like to talk about?" Kasumi took the grunt she received as a negative reply. "If you need me, you know where I am."

Slamming her door, she flopped onto her bed in a huff. "Oh P-Chan, I don't even care if you are that stupid Ryoga, I need someone to talk to!"

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In the room below her, Kasumi felt something strange and looked down to see the plate she had been holding, broken in her hand. There was no injury, yet she could not imagine how such a thing could have happened... It could not have been due to the house being messy, just since she left for her shopping trip that afternoon, no...

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Genma could not bring himself to ask Nabiki for aid in locating his son, mostly because he owed her so much money that she would take what little he had from him and not give him anything in return for it except more demands! He started asking around near the campus, and then anyone with a Furinkan High School uniform. He had to run a couple of times while in the shopping district, something about trying to pick up young girls. As if he had any interest in that, he had Kasumi to cook and clean up for him, what more did he need?

Eventually, he found a nice young girl, with a bowl cut, who said her name was Suzuki, and she was willing to tell him all about Ranma. It even cost him less than Nabiki ever charged him ...though later he found that he had misplaced his wallet. Luckily, he still had the money in his shoe, but no one ever wanted to accept that, he was not sure why...

He had spotted the building from quite a distance, it was decorated in a way that reminded him of a preschool, not that he had ever been to one. The tackiness of it all offended his traditional tastes, and a voice in his head was telling him to unseal a certain technique and level the thing, but he managed to ignore it while he scouted the area, looking for the best vantage points from which to spy.

Seeing his son's teacher leaving the building, he knew his information was good, and faded back into the bushes. With her not being home, this would be the perfect time to act, but he had not been able to look around, and was not even sure which apartment they were in, only the street address. "Now what was that teacher's name again...?"

"Ninomiya, Hinako Ninomiya."

"Oh yes, that was it exactly! Now how am I going to get in there...?"

"You are not."

"Huh? What? Who is there?"

"I just told you who I am. Now I am asking the questions, as a good teacher ought. What are you doing here?"

"Um, we've met before haven't we?"

"Many times. I will not ask you again. What are you planning to do here?"

"I am here to collect my no-good son."

Hinako fought down the instinct that made her want to scream at the delinquent parent before her, and tried to maintain a cool head, in spite of her raging fury. "I have done a lot of research, and so far, I was unaware that you had another child, one that actually took after you. Because I assure you, that I would never allow anyone who is 'no good', into my home, and that goes double for you, sir."

"Is that so, I will go to the police, tell them you kidnapped the boy, what would your boss think then? Even if you manage to not go to jail, do you think this would help your career?" Her expression grew even darker, at his threat.

Genma was disappointed that his attempted intimidation did not have the intended effect, and started making plans to break in later that night, and steal away with him ...as usual. He would need a large bag, some packing tape, and a large object, which he could pick up anywhere.

Had her animosity toward the man and her concern for Ranma been any less, her giggling might have been debilitating, as it was, it still brought a tear to her eye. "Have you MET my boss? Kidnapping is one of the nicer things that lunatic has committed! Not that it would matter to me, I have uncovered more than enough evidence about your past that the police would certainly want to have a 'very' long talk with you. I have also begun the paperwork to have your son legally removed from your custody and placed in my care, until such time that we can find a more ...stable home. Now, from what I have heard, the police may not be likely to detain you for vary long, I have heard how you escaped from custody on many occasions in the past, but I have also heard about a number of ...less savory people who feel that you are in their debt, and if you are not willing to let this drop for your son's own good, then I will make sure they know where you can be found!"

"Who are you to say what Ranma needs?"

"I am the boy's teacher, by making your son go to that school, and being in my homeroom, you have given me that right!"

"But I am the father!"

"And the worst one I have EVER seen in my life! ...Well, let's say second worst, there IS my boss again it seems. I will not allow a neglectful child-abuser, such as yourself, to have access to that boy again, at not until your authority has been completely removed! Your messes are your own to clean, you may push them onto your son no longer!"

Genma started to panic, that was the LAST thing he wanted! 'Taking responsibility' was what got him INTO this mess to begin with, over seventeen years ago, and he swore that he would never 'take responsibility' for anything, ever again! It was why he made sure Ranma did not know anything about the opposite sex, prevent the boy from making the same mistakes he had made until long after he had married the girl he picked out for him! If the boy's mother had raised him, he was sure to have turned out like the master, or worse, with no skill in the ART! The woman was insatiable! Women were always trying to ruin his life, and here was another one trying to do the same. "Women are only good for one thing, cooking and cleaning! ...er I mean 'housework'! Know your place Woman!"

"My 'PLACE'? I do believe it is time for this teacher to give you a private lesson. I will show you exactly where that 'place' is..." Gently, she placed her fishbowl on the ground. "...And that 'place', is ...ON TOP!" She formed a circle with her thumbs and index fingers, before shouting, "Happo No-Coin Return, Gatling Gun!"

The rapid-fire blasts caught Genma off guard, he thought he understood how her abilities worked, and this was not it! "Hey!"

"You are more agile than you appear, but it will not help you!" As she ceased firing to reach in her pocket, Genma took his chance, and charged in ...though he did not quite make it in time. "Happo Fifty-Yen Satsu!" Hinako taunted the older man and cheered at her victory. "HA! HA! I GOT you! I got you!" She finished by blowing a 'raspberry' at her fallen foe.

It was a simple task to tie the deflated delinquent in the chains and use the hooks to lock him to the jungle gym, though hanging him from the top was beyond her strength, even in adult form. "Remember what I told you, I will not be this forgiving a second time." Leaving a note that read, 'I LOVE molesting cute little girls!', pinned to his chest, the leggy lecturer retrieved her new pets, and resumed her shopping trip.

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Returning home, Hinako stopped by the park to check on her 'captive', she had felt sorry for the guy, even if she did hate everything about him, and brought him a croquette. When she arrived, she found that he had gained a few foot prints, and a several empty cold drink cups that appeared to have been dumped on his head, along with some chewing gum in his fur. "Well, I guess you won't be able to eat this!" She took a bite out of it in front of him. "Mmmmmmmm, it is SO niiiiice."

Deciding it was better to be safe than sorry, she drained him as thoroughly as she could, assuring herself that he would fall asleep ahead of the affects wearing off before returning to her apartment with a skip in her step and bursting with energy. "TaDAI...ma?" Seeing Ukyo napping with her head on the table, caused her to choke off her greeting, and tiptoe over to join them at the table. "What happened?"

Ranma accepted one of the fried treats. "Mmmm, that's good. Ucchan fell asleep almost as soon as ya left, but here, I got these done..." Ranma handed his stack of worksheets to his 'tutor' as he popped the last bite into his mouth and took a second one.

Hinako was astonished by the number of pages he had finished in the short time she had been gone, it was easy material, but it was still impressive work. "I knew you could do it if you tried!" She tried to keep her voice down, while still showing the proper encouragement.

As Hinako started reviewing his work, Ranma leaned in and whispered near the slumbering chef. "Uuuuuucchan, Uuuuucchan, are ya hungry? They're really good." She rolled over, her head landing on his legs, as her eyes slowly started to flutter.

Ukyo had been having the most wonderful dream, she had been in a toga, curled up in Ranma's lap as he fed her grapes and wore only a loincloth. "Mmmmmm, such-a good daaaay..." Seeing Ranma trying to feed her a croquette made her unsure if she was awake, or if she had awoken from one dream into another. Not one to look a 'gift Ranma' in the mouth, or ...something like that, she allowed herself to be fed, still being too groggy to be sure of what was real, simply enjoying the sensation of it all. Although, she did wish she had enough energy to roll over and check for a loincloth...

Ranma continued to take turns eating and feeding his friend while Hinako graded his papers, when she suddenly got a strange look on her face, and opened her mouth, pointing to it. "Ah Ah Ah!"

"Ooooh, ya wanted another croquette?" Seeing her nod energetically, he broke off a piece and tossed it into her mouth. Giggling, she repeated the process, not even giving him a chance to eat his own.

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Ukyo never did fully come around, and had stayed on Ranma's lap until they were finished eating, when Hinako suggested he take her home while she finished grading his work. With a shrug, he hefted her into his arms, and took off on his way across town ...again that evening, he started to feel like a human delivery service. "Ranma's taxi service, anyone, anywhere, anytime..." Ranma chuckled until the idea of showing up 'anywhere, anytime' caused him to envision himself in Ryoga's 'yellow and black' outfit and cringed as he landed in front of 'Ucchan's Okonomiyaki'.

Ukyo moaned in his arms, still mostly in dreamland, as she curled in closer and kissed him on the mouth. "Then here's yer fare, forgot wallet, gotta come ta mah room fer th' rest..."

Ranma had recovered from the pleasurable shock to his system, still expecting something else, like waiting for the other boot to drop, something felt ...odd, incomplete. The door opened as he approached, and he was greeted by the young kunoichi-turned-waitress as they entered. "Good evening, Ranma-sama. I trust all is well?"

"Yeah, poor Ucchan must be tired, didn't even make it ta dinner..."

"Yes, the mistress did not sleep a wink last night."

Ranma laughed nervously, feeling a little guilty. "Well, shouldn't be a problem ta'night. Goin' ta get ya ta bed now..."

"Mmmmm, Thank ya, Ranchan... be gentle."

She was already in a new yukata, so after taking off their shoes, he carefully carried her up to her room, and tucked her into bed. She had not wanted to let him go, and had tried to plant more kisses on him that he mostly avoided as he escaped. "Sleep well, Ucchan, see ya in th' morning..."

Curling up to a body-sized pillow, she moaned softly. "Same ta ya, Ranchan, sleep well."

Ranma closed the door as softly as he could before sneaking back down to the main floor. "Hey, Konatsu, please take care a' Ucchan, been actin' weird so, I'm worried."

"Do not worry, Ranma-sama, I 'always' do. If you are that concerned, you could stay, I know Ukyo-sama would be thrilled to have you."

"Maybe, but it ain't right ...'sides everyone else'd kill me!"

"I cannot speak for the second part of that, nonetheless, what, may I ask, is wrong about something that makes you both very happy?"

"I don't know about all that, but I know it'd make a lot a' other people unhappy..."

"Ranma-sama, you are aware that we cannot all be happy here, yes? With this many people involved, no matter what you do, there will always be many people who are unhappy, and the longer you wait, the more pain there will be all around. I want Ukyo-sama to be happy, so that is where my happiness lies and who I support, but you need to figure out what will make YOU happy. Everyone else might think they know what will make you happy, but the only one who can decide that for you, is you."

"Ummm... thanks?" Ranma was confused, not certain where that had come from, but knowing that Konatsu's words were somehow profound, yet accusatory at the same time.

"Just think about it, and know that if there is ever anything I can do to assist your pursuit Ukyo-sama, I will be here for you."

Ranma did not really understand what Konatsu was saying, but it left him with a lot to think about as they bowed to each other, before he leapt into the night.

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Returning to the apartment he shared, he saw Hinako concentrating as she flipped through the pages he left for her to grade. "Gonna go change, an' then clean up, but ...how bad was it?"

Finally looking up, she excitedly called to him. "Oh, you did fine, but come here, you have to see this!" Ranma walked over and saw a small drawing in the corner, that seemed to move as she flicked through the pages. "LOOK, it's a flip book!"

"Um, that's just great, but uh, why'd ya doodle on my homework?" Hinako could only stare at the pages wondering exactly why she had done that... "Are ya feelin' okay? Maybe ya should take yer bath first..."

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Ukyo had awoken feeling better than she had in a long time, it was the best night's sleep she could remember, and she had so many wonderful dreams of Ranma, she felt as if she could almost still smell his scent, lingering in the air, as if he had been in her very room!

"...RANCHAN! Oh NO! Oh damn! Th' date! Ah must a' missed it! Aw gawd, how could Ah fall asleep? CURSE YA SHAMPOO! If ya hadn't been there, there's no way mah Ranchan would a' run from meh!" She jumped out of bed, hurrying to get ready. She needed to get to school early, be ready with an apology, ready to make it up to him for standing him up! This was turning in to the worst day ever!

As she ran down the stairs, Konatsu refused to let her pass. "Get outa th' way, I gotta get ta school!"

"Ukyo-sama, please, clam yourself."

"How can Ah be calm? I missed mah chance, Ah might a' blew it completely!"

"No, you did not. You went on your date, but fell asleep there. Ranma-sama carried you home, and tucked you into bed. I thought you would prefer that to myself."

"Ah did, we did, ya did?"

"I assure you, I did my best to convince Ranma-sama to stay with you, but my skills are still lacking. I am sorry, Ukyo-sama!"

Picking him off of the floor, the young chef hugged her assistant. "Konatsu-chan, Ah can't thank ya enough! I could double yer pay!"

"Twenty yen? Oh, thank you, Ukyo-sama, you are too kind! I also acquired the other items you requested, if you did not notice, and they are prepared in your room." Bowing, the 'cute waitress' got out of the way, and allowed Ukyo to pass.

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"Elder, I have been hearing strange noises coming from Shampoo's room lately, and with everything that has been going on lately, I am ...concerned."

"That is just ...entertainment, you have heard of 'movies', have you not? Watched television? Nothing for you to concern yourself with Boy, now get to work ...or go home! Your mother misses you!" Cologne decided it was a good day to install those locks on her granddaughter's bedroom door and window...

She respected his mother, and owed her a favor, but there were limits to how far that could stay her hand when her family was concerned. He was a good boy, with many admirable traits, if only he could only get over that blind spot of his with Shampoo. Had he not been so ashamed of his glasses, and not tried so hard, things might have been different. She knew her granddaughter did not hate the lad, but he had burnt any bridge to a romantic relationship long ago, all he was doing now was ruining what was left of their friendship.

The way he stormed off, she knew she would need to keep an eye on him. If the fool was not careful, she would have to send him away for his own good...

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Genma finally made it home, and had gotten cleaned. It had been a difficult night, being a panda had at least kept him from being arrested when the police arrived, however they did call the zoo. Luckily his strength returned before they had made there and they put him in a cage ...again. Breaking out of the back of the truck was much easier. Perhaps Soun could help him make a better plan, now that they knew a bit more about the situation...

"Well, I found Ranma..." Walking by, Akane's ears perked up, wondering what that meant for her... "That teacher is going to be a problem though. Quite a tough nut to crack... I just can't believe how low my family has fallen, MY SON, being protected ...by a WOMAN!"

"Oh, was that the same teacher who turned into Akane-chan's friend?"

"THAT is NOT my friend! That's my teacher, why I have to stay after school in detention, AND the one who stole Ranma from me!"

"See Saotome-kun, they do love each other after all!"

"I do NOT! I never want to see that JERK again as long as I LIVE!" Akane charged in, attacking Genma as a surrogate for his son, surprised to find that he did not stand still and 'take it like a man'! Missing her target was not in her plan, and controlling herself was never her strong suit, so she continued to follow through, and connected with her father instead, knocking him for a loop.

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Bandaging her elder, Kasumi was distressed, the bruising looked like it could last for a while. "Oh my! Father, how did this happen to you?"

Kasumi had to lean in very closely to make out the feeble voice from her beaten father.

"...Again? You might wish to have the doctor look at this, your jaw may very well be dislocated. Would you like me to call Tofu-Sensei?"

Leaning closely to listen again, Kasumi nodded.

"Yes, Father, I will make the call when I am finished with your mess in the living room." Placing a blended 'smoothie' with a long straw in front of the heavily bandaged man, she stood to leave. "Here is your breakfast, miso soup, grilled fish, rice, and some of the special pickles we received from our friends in China. I am sorry you cannot chew normal food, but I hope you enjoy it, Father."

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"Ranchan! Ohayo-gozaimasu!" Ukyo ran up to her friend before bowing deeply. "Ah'm soo sorry, Ranchan, can't believe Ah fell asleep on ya ...hope ya didn't do anythin' too perverted ta meh!" The blushing chef grinned wickedly at her best friend.

"A' CORSE NOT! I'd never do nuthin' like that ta ya!"

Her face fell, all of the young woman's hopes, dreams, and wishful thinking shattered into dust. "No, a' course ya wouldn't, who in their right mind would, right? Only nutjobs'd want meh!"

"Heh, I know what ya mean!" Ranma started to chuckle until he took a light elbow to the ribs.

"HEY! Now look here, Ranchan-!"

Not really paying attention, Ranma just said the first thing that came to mind. "Oi, Ucchan, ya wanna go have some breakfast? I'm starvin'!"

"SURE! Let me make ya somethin' real fast!"

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Kasumi was glad to have been able to leave before the doctor arrived to treat her father, he was a nice enough man, but seemed to be getting senile as he got older. He used to be such a fine doctor, if a bit immature, but she had lost much of her respect for him when he destroyed the recipe for the special shampoo that he said would have cured her sister's amnesia, right in front of her! She had been so hopeful for a cure, and to have the man play such a cruel joke ...it was simply too much for her.

Now she could get on to her favorite part of the day, starting with her shared lunch at the school. After she had delivered one to Ranma, she went to find Hinako, who was sitting at her desk in the teacher's lounge, looking through a paper. "Konichiwa, Sensei-san."

"Mmm, Tendo-san! It is good to see you."

"Are you too busy, should I not bother you today?"

"Oh no, nothing pressing, I was just looking at the property listings, it never hurts to keep an eye out."

"You are looking to move? Things are not going well then?"

"Not too bad for the most part, other than that awful father showing up..."

"Oh dear... Is that why?"

"Well, I suppose it could be a factor, though I am not overly worried about that, mostly it is the space issue. Saotome-kun feels like being there is an imposition on me, and is clearly uncomfortable for the boy to be living this closely with a women."

"True, though this could also be a form of helping... I do not know why, exactly, likely uncle Saotome-san is responsible, but the unfortunate boy's head has been filled with some of the strangest ideas about women, almost as if we were going to bite the head off of the poor thing. I just do not know what is the right thing to do here, Ranma-kun needs help, but what is the proper solution to this situation?"

"It is a complex problem indeed, we will need to play things by ear, and with game pads!"

"What was that?"

"Well, it does not matter at the moment, there is nothing in the area in my price range that has less than a year waiting list..."

"Oh my! I could ask around for you, if you would like."

"Do not trouble yourself, I am sure something will turn up ...eventually."

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"Oi, Kasumi-san! Why're ya still here?"

"Ranma-kun, good to see you! I was having a nice lunch with Sensei-san, it is nice to have friends." Kasumi's smile warmed Ranma from the inside, and without knowing it, he returned the friendly gesture. "Speaking of friends, it is Saturday afternoon, should you not be off playing with yours?"

"Well, Shampoo an' Ucchan both gotta work, yer here, Sensei's watchin' Akane, an' ain't seen Ryoga in weeks..."

Kasumi was touched at being included in his list of 'friends', all the more endearing considering the shortness of said list. "What about your other friends? Are there not a couple of boys in your class that you occasionally spend time with?"

"What, you mean Hiroshi, and Daisuke? Not if I can help it, those perverts are always doin' somethin' stupid! What 're ya up ta'?"

"I was about to do my shopping, before I went to meet with you. Would you care to join me then? That is, if you have nothing else you would like to do..."

Ranma's face brightened, glad to have something useful to do, not that more training would be a bad thing, but was 'assisting others' not what it meant to be a martial artist? "Happy ta help ya."

As the two of them slowly began walking toward the markets, Kasumi had to ask about something that had been troubling her. "Ranma-kun, I heard you slept in the school the night before last, I thought you told me that you would be more trusting of Sensei-san, and sleep inside the apartment."

"Well, I just said 'inside', but I tried! Now that th' girls know where I am stayin', they all came ta the apartment, an' were fightin' on th' roof! I tried ta go stop um, but..." Ranma head sunk. "...I just made things worse, an' got chased all over town. Didn't think it'd be safe ta go back, so I did my best ta keep my word ta ya, I was warm, an' inside! I did turn inta a girl, an' slept in the changin' room last night. Guess neither a' 'em got any sleep th' night before, so was quiet."

"Oh Ranma-kun, I am so sorry, it seems that my helping you has caused you more trouble!"

"Naw, ain't yer fault, it'd happened sooner er later anyway, Ucchan's been after me since we were six, an' Shampoo followed me all over China and then ta here, so a few more kilometers ain't gonna stop 'em fer long, not if I don't keep movin'. Would a' followed me eventually, er Nabiki would a' sold 'em th' address, er something..."

Kasumi looked saddened for a moment.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Sorry, Kasumi-san, can ya hold up a sec.?"

"Certainly, what is the-?" Turning around, she saw that Ranma was gone. After searching for a few moments, the young woman heard voices coming from nearby, and she followed them into an ally.

"If ya can stop cryin', I will make sure ya get it back, okay?" The young girl sniffled, but nodded, and Ranma stood up. "Hey, Kasumi-san, ya mind watchin' th' kid a min.? This won't take long, promise!"

Nodding, she took the child's hand, and tried to follow him, as best she could, with the young child in tow. "Onee-chan? Will that Onii-chan really help me?"

Seeing the hopeful look on the girl's face, Kasumi could not bear to disappoint her. "I am certain, if anyone can do it, it's Ranma-onii-chan."

Pulling out a handkerchief, Kasumi helped the child blow her nose, before returning her joyful hug, and running after Ranma with the child in her arms. Coming to a bridge, she saw him yelling at three slightly older children. "That's them, th' onii-san's that pushted me an' stole Shin-chan!"

"There is no need to worry, Onii-chan will get it back for you."

"But how can anyone beat the oni without a bean gun?"

"It is fine, Ranma-kun never loses, not when it matters!"

Looking up at the woman holding her hand, then to Ranma, and back again, before she grinned. "You liiiike Onii-chan?"

"Oh yes, very much. Ranma-kun is one of my ...good friends."

"OOOOooooo! Were you on a DATE? You gonna kiss each other?"

Kasumi blushed, feeling a bit flustered. "Oh my, no! We are just shopping. And just between us, Onii-chan is too shy to kiss anyone." They both grinned at each other as Kasumi winked, when they heard Ranma shout.

"Last time I'm askin' ya nice, hand it over, er I'm takin' it!"

The boy with the red and clear plastic ball stuck his tongue out, as one of the other boys pulled out a squirt-gun, and fired!

"Ah! Where did that Onii-san go?

"Who're you?"

"How'd ya do that?"

"I'm MAGIC! OOOoooooo! An' I'll turn ya inta somethin' even worse if ya don't gimme that now!" One of them threw the object he had been tossing around and they tried to run away. Ranma did not even hesitate and dove for the small plastic ball, catching it before landing in the drainage ditch below. Being Nerima, it was, of course, half full of water, and the red-head had to swim to the side before climbing out.

Standing in a quickly forming puddle, Ranma tossed the small, ball shaped container back to the child. "Here ya go, Kid. It's still sealed, so ya should be fine."

"Is that really you, Onii- ah, Onee-chan?" The wide-eyed look from the girl was full of wonder, and amazement!

"Yah, it's me, but, I'm really a guy, so please don't call me 'onee-chan'." Ranma gave a lopsided smile, looking like a drowned rat, in clothing a bit to big for it.

Ignoring the water completely, she jumped up and threw her arms around Ranma's legs, and hugged them tightly. "Thank you, um ...Onii-nee-chan!"

Ranma's head drooped. "Well, it could be worse..." Patting her on the head, he tried to smile again. Don't worry 'bout it, Kid, it's a martial artist's duty to protect th' we- ...those who need it." Looking up to meet Kasumi's gaze, he gave her a weak smile. "Sorry, looks like I gotta find some hot water now too."

The warmth of her smile cheered him up a bit, and made him feel a bit less awkward. "It is all right, I am just happy nobody got hurt."

"From that? Nah!"

"Well, perhaps our hero can get some in that ice cream parlor over there. What do you think?"

"I think th' hot water can wait! What about ya kid, ya want some ice cream?"

The wide-eyed girl's jaw dropped, and she nodded vigorously. Ranma had tried to pay, but Kasumi would not allow him, it was supposed to be his reward after all, though winking at the cashier had gotten them extra scoops. Kasumi was not sure that she approved of that, but did not wish to talk about it in front of the child. They sat at one of the outside tables, and enjoyed their sundaes.

"Thanks again, I had all th' others, but thiz'z my fAAAvorite, and I been tryin' forever! I was so happy, but..." She started sniffling, and Ranma was afraid she was going to begin crying again. "But, then Onii-chan came! Yaaaaay!"

"HINA! Hina-chan! Where is that girl?"

Brightening up even more, the young child waved. "Mommy, I'm here! Onii-nee-chan, if ya can do magic, you should be strong!"

"I AM strong, what do ya mean?"

Leaning in, the girl whispered, "You should really kiss Onee-chan! Bye!" Then she jumped up, and ran after her mother, before turning around and waving. "Thanks you, Onii-chan, daisuki! Look mommy, I FINALLY got Shin-chan from th' machine!"

Ranma was having trouble fighting down his own blush, and could not meet Kasumi's eyes.

"Well, it seems you have made a new friend, but what did the girl say?"

"Nuthin'!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

After finishing his training, and tutoring sessions, where he completed work sheets, while Hinako mostly played games and watched anime, he heard arguing coming from the open window.

"No, it Shampoo turn, Kote-girl come last night!"

"Ah did not! Ah feel asleep a'fore Ah even gotta do anythin'!"

"Not what Shampoo meant, was still turn yesterday!"

"Who's fault was it Ah was-" Ukyo was interrupted as Ranma landed between the argumentative pair. "...Oooo, Ranchan!"

"Nihao, Ranma is too too handsome tonight!"

"Hey." Ranma blushed as the image of Hinako picking out an outfit for him, and insisting he wear it this evening. She even fussed over his hair at one point while he was working, and not really paying attention.

He noticed a heated look pass between the two girls, when suddenly they both said, "Fine!" and each grabbed one of his arms.

"Uh, well, so, um, what's up?" '

"No come take us to date, we come take Ranma!"

"Yeah Ranchan, as long as yer broken off with Akane-chan, we're not missing out anymore! Hinako-sensei said ya should get ta do stuff like a normal guy, an' we're gonna show ya what it's like ta date normal girls!"

"I doubt either of ya know nuthin' 'bout 'normal' girls..."

Ukyo was slightly offended, but unable to argue the point. "Well, ya don't neither, so we're even! Now, come on, we're as normal as yer gonna get. Closer than some others we won't mention..."

"Does prefer, maybe Rose-girl? Tell truth now."

The sound of an aristocratic laugh echoed through his mind. "No! This is fine! What'd ya wanna do?" 'Anything but that!' He occasionally had dreams where he heard a similar sound and always woke in a sweat, though he could never remember what happened in them. He knew there was usually a woman, so it could be a nightmare about Kodachi, that made the most sense to him, so he stuck to that story, not that he HAD nightmares mind you, no, not him! ...Not unless it was about a feline that is.

"Onee-chan tell Shampoo too, help Airen have fun, be 'regular' boy. No think want be too too much like other boy, but Shampoo always ready show Ranma too too good time! What Ranma find most fun?"

"I don't know..." Ranma wracked his brain, trying to think of what might be the least dangerous thing he could think of, and the best he had was what worked before. "That movie was pretty good, maybe we could see another one?"

None of them had really seen too many movies in their young lives, and the girls were momentarily lost in fantasies about what they might get away with in the dark theater.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

The three 'girls', one wet, left the theater, in a mostly happy mood. Ukyo and Shampoo were thrilled to have gotten to hold each other's hand though the movie thinking it was Ranma's, while he sat there eating snacks throughout the whole thing. Although, one of them had a bit of a guilty expression on her face. "Shampoo get hot water, wait here!"

"Nah, it's fine, I'd just gotta change when I get back anyway, don't worry 'bout it."

"Shampoo so sorry, Airen."

"It's okay, I'm just glad it didn't get on ya too."

Shampoo gushed while Ukyo bristled. "Soo happy, Ranma care about Shampoo!"

"Yeah, that curse a' yers ...sheesh!" Ranma let out a sigh of relief.

Ukyo started to guffaw and had to grab her sides, she was almost doubled over in laughter, barely able to breathe. She did NOT envy Shampoo that curse, what horrendous luck to turn into the one thing Ranma feared above all else, however, with all of the OTHER advantages her buxom rival had over her, she was happy to have whatever help she could get, though she did feel a bit guilty at enjoying even HER suffering. She had no intention of splashing the other girl intentionally, not that she had not been tempted. It was not due to her honor, she could get over something like that for Ranma's sake, but it would also likely send him running for the hills. She had spent far too much time literally chasing after the boy for one lifetime, or one week even! She would like to stop having to figuratively chase after him as well, but that was what all of this was about, was it not?

No, it was better to show him how she was the better match for him, the problem was, a tiny part of her mind would occasionally whisper that she was not convinced that was the case. It really had her frazzled lately. When this all started, before she had met Shampoo at that fateful obstacle course, and how ironic that was, for her to meet her biggest obstacle there! She had thought it had only been her or Akane, she assumed she had a really good chance! They had history together, she was nicer, a better cook, and he had even said she was cuter! How little did she realize, there were also others much more feminine and attractive than herself, the tomboy. Even now, as she was trying to be more 'womanly', she felt she paled in comparison to any one else in his life.

Thinking that way always brought her to a dark place and she had to work hard to cheer up, to try to put her best face forward. She was on a date with Ranma, and she felt deserved to see the best side of her, she wanted nothing more than to be perfect for him. After all, her entire life had revolved around the boy since they were kids, had she not earned her place by his side? Being his childhood friend, she had always assumed that she knew him best, but as she so recently learned, that was not even close to true. While he had not really changed all that much in many ways, like his good taste in okonomiyaki, and he was still that same boy she had fallen for all those years ago, he was also a very different person, with new experiences and skills.

From what she had learned from the font of all Furinkan information, Nabiki Tendo, even before Shampoo had gotten that curse, she had been trying to jump him naked, and he turned her away every time, so she could not really be sure what Ranma found attractive. She kind of got the impression that even he did not know for sure, but she was getting so desperate that she was tempted to do the unthinkable ...and actually ASK him!

There was no way she could do that here though, because any advantage she might gain, Shampoo would get as well, and she was afraid the other girl would be better at implementing it, she certainly had more help! Her great-grandmother seemed to know almost everything, and even that 'stupid Mousse' would help her, even occasionally when it was against his own interests, and now the eldest Tendo daughter was helping her too! Never had she foreseen THAT twist coming, even when she imagined all of the ways he and Akane might break up! If anything, she figured their fathers would try to push one of the other girls on him.

Of course she would never forget the time they DID push him onto Nabiki, and how THAT worked out... Now that she thought about it, that might very well be WHY they are not risking Kasumi's life and hoped that he and Akane would make up. She felt a bit guilty for her part in that, though mostly for missing and hitting Ranma instead! After all, Nabiki deserved it in her opinion, and she knew she was not alone in thinking that. She did not hate the older girl, she could be useful, if one was willing to pay for her loyalty, though that would only get you so far, but Ukyo would also never really forgive her, nor Akane for how they abused her Ranchan! She was able to recognize that she was a bit of a hypocrite in that she had benefited from that abuse, though she glossed over her own abuses, and did her best to ignore the ones she received from Ranma.

She had been contemplating these thoughts for some time now, and being reminded of one of her few advantages in Shampoo's curse, had made her decision, she would talk to Ranma when she could get him alone, and try to learn more, but for now, they had a date to finish!

Despite Ranma's now shorter stature, Shampoo still wrapped herself around Ranma's arm, not hesitating to rub herself on her 'husband's cursed body. She would have plenty of time for introspection while she was alone, for now, she had a goal! Fodder for which came when Ukyo hesitated before resuming her place on Ranma's other side, feeling a bit guilty about it.

"Have problem?"

"It's so easy fer ya, ain't it?"

"Shampoo prefer boy-type Ranma, but Ranma is Ranma, and Shampoo love all Ranma, curse no ever change that. Love Ranma less as girl?" Ranma frowned slightly, but remained silent.

"NO! A' course not! Ranchan! Ya gotta believe meh! It ain't true! Ah could nevah love ya less! No, wait, that came out wrong! Ah mean, Ah can't love ya any more! No, that's not right either, damnit! Ah just ain't no good at this!"

"Don't worry, I know what ya meant..."

"Is okay, stick to make pancake, Shampoo stick to Ranma!"

While Ranma did not like the girls fighting, as a practitioner of the 'Insult Fist', he could not really fault them for the verbal barbs, it was when it escalated beyond that, that it became a problem. Many men might like the idea of women fighting over him, however, most men have never been caught in the middle as he has, and most women were not world class martial artists, capable of knocking down buildings with their bare hands!

Ranma did his best to be the 'buffer zone' between the two hostile forces, hoping to keep things as pleasant as possible as they slowly walked toward the apartment he sort of shared with his instructor, while each of the two girls still clung to one of his arms. Lost in their own worlds, they had mostly been able to ignore each other for the walk. Just as they neared the building, and Ranma was finally starting to relax, he learned why that was always a mistake!

Attempting to be as cute as they could, the two young women leaned in, and made a show of kissing Ranma on each cheek, even going so far as to say the sound effect, "Chuuuu!"

"Shampoo give husband 'good-night kiss', will call in morning, yes?"

"G'night, Ranchan, we're gettin' together tomarra, ain't we?"

"Now this's why I don't hang out more often, ya always do this embarrassing stuff! We're even all girls right now! ...See if I call ya again."

"Ya ain't never called us in th' first place!"

"Is okay if no is girl then?"

"That just makes it worse! People 're lookin'!"

"So if is alone?"

"Quit tryin' ta change th' subject!"

"Shampoo no change, is staying right on top." She pushed in close, until their chests were touching. "When is good time then, Ranma pick, Shampoo be there!"

"Ah ain't being left out a' this!"

"Why? I thought girls didn't like this kind a' stuff!"

"Stop stupid-talking! All people like, those what say don't, is lying, to you, or to self!"

"Ya just gotta find th' right 'person', an' ya should wanna do it."

"Is Shampoo no pretty enough? What Shampoo do?"

"Ya ain't got Akane-chan stoppin' ya now, so what gives, Ranchan? Ain't we good enough fer ya?" Ukyo regretted her words as soon as they left her lips, fearing the answer.

"It ain't nuthin' like that!"

"Then what IS it like?"

"I dunno, all right? I don't understand none a' this! I dunno what any a' it means, and I ain't never had a say in nuthin' my whole life! Why ya gotta rush?"

"Ranchan, Ah've been waitin' fer more 'an ten years! Th' only thing 'rushing' slower 'an us, is th' next ice age!"

Shampoo understand, back off for now, but mark word, Shampoo prove love soon, and make Ranma too too happy. When do, wish we do love whole time, like proper husband!"

Ukyo got nervous, was she talking about doing that, ALREADY? Then young woman in the light yukata remembered that her rival considered herself already married to him, so she figured she should not be surprised, and blushed at the thought. She had always wanted to save herself for the night she finally wed Ranma, but if that was what she had to do to win him over to her, could she do any less? Should she not at least try? It was not as if she did not want to do it, she had just wanted to wait for the perfect time, a time that might never come... If she could not have Ranma, then she might as well die a virgin, along with her life as a woman, but was her goal not worthy of giving it her all? Was RANMA not worth it to her?

Yes, yes he was! She would give up ANYTHING to be with him, even okonomiyaki, if that was required of her! What she needed was a plan, well, a good one. Her last one, dressing more femininely, has had more of an effect on the rest of the school than on Ranma, yet even a tiny change for the better, was a good thing, and she would take it!

"Yes!" Her decision made, she was ready to figure out how to make it happen! She knew Shampoo might be craftier, thanks to her great-grandmother raising her, but she would follow along, keeping them from being alone, while she worked on her own strategy. She did not have as many tricks and gimmicks as her foes, so she needed to make sure the one she had was the best possible strategy she could design. It needed to be a masterwork, it was going to be another loooong night. In the meantime, she would just play along with whatever plans Shampoo had, she had to at least make sure her rival did not get ahead.

"See, even that one agree, Shampoo is perfect match. Ranma, let Shampoo save from crazy place! Go where no one bother, and be too too happy, just train ...and make too too strong and beautiful babies!"

"Uuuuuh..."

"Don't be gettin' ahead a yerself there, Sugar. Ucchan's doesn't have ta be a stationary place, Ah can get another yatti, an' we can go back on th' road, just like we were supposed ta growin' up. Ah'll go anywhere ya wanna go, Ranchan!"

"Well, I promised Kasumi-san, and Hinako that I wouldn't leave anytime soon, so I'm stuck here, at least fer a while. Ya know Saotome Ranma doesn't break a promise!"

"That's true..." 'Hummmm.' There was something nagging at the back of her mind.

"Is taking off day, Shampoo have very special plan! Ranma better call, or Shampoo cry!"

"Hey! Ya can't do that! It ain't fair!"

"Then take next Sunday ...if Ranma still want by then..."

"Not happenin'! We're doin' this tagether, er we ain't doin' it at all!"

"No is up to us, Shampoo do what Ranma say!"

'That's be a first... Ya never listen when I tell ya ta back off...'

Both turning as one, they confronted the boy turned girl. "Well, Ranchan?" / "What Airen say?"

To be honest with himself, he did not want anything to do with any of it, even if it could be fun sometimes. With training himself, training Kasumi and Hinako, going to school, and his extra tutoring, it was hard to find enough time in the day, never mind for dating on top of it. The last thing he wanted to was sit there and listen to girls bickering, if had wanted to hear a someone griping, he would have tried to go back to the Tendos' place! He had enough complaining to do on his own, he did NOT need help with that! "Fine! Whatever! We'll all go!"

Ukyo 'squeed' like a fangirl, and threw her arms around him. "Ah knew ya loved meh, Ranchan!"

Her rival was less thrilled, but still happy enough about getting a promise that they would spend the next day together, that she did not complain. She had enough confidence in her training, that she was not too worried about her so-called 'competition'! She would be ready when it was time!

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

After seeing off his 'dates', Ranma jumped up and entered the window, near Hinako's bed, to see her staring at him curiously. "The door too easy?"

"Too slow..."

Hinako briefly wondered what it would be like to think a window on the fourth floor of an apartment building was easier than taking the stairs! "Already a girl I see, your date not go well?"

"'Bout th' same as th' others, we saw a good movie, an' they were either fightin' er sayin' weird stuff. Though, th' fightin' wasn't so bad this time, at least it was mostly just insults."

"Perhaps, if you are not enjoying yourself, maybe you need to expand your horizons..." Hinako felt mixed about this line of talk. On the one hand, she hated to encourage someone to act like 'Lothario', as a teacher, she was supposed to inspire good, upstanding morals. On the other hand, the boy had a serious problem, in many ways, he had not been allowed to grow up and mature, socially speaking. His father was the worst kind of example, and his records show he had little in the way of other role-models, it seemed as though he would likely have learned better social skills had he been raised by wolves! "While it is good to honor one's commitments, you must never forget, that you also need to be happy with the choices you make. Are you sure you are giving everyone a fair shake?"

"Huh? What do ya mean?"

"Well, it just seems to me that you are playing favorites a bit, if you are that certain of your feelings, then is it right to string the others along?"

"I don't get it, I ain't stringin' nuthin'."

"You are not going to be able to have a bunch of girlfriends forever. You will need to decide eventually."

"Why am I only allowed ta have one friend?"

"No, it's just that most people only have one 'girlfriend', or boyfriend, at a time?"

"So ya kin only have TWO friends at a time, one boy and one girl? Yer a teacher, so maybe ya can answer this then, 'why is it wrong to have friends who are girls'? Er the limit a' one?"

"No, you should be able to have more than one female friend, that should not be a problem, but-"

"Tell that ta Akane..."

"Yes, well, be that as it may, there is a difference between a female friend, and a girlfriend."

"What, age?"

Hinako started to rub her temples, having a hard time believing the boy was not making fun of her. "Really? It's a 'girlfriend'."

"That's what I am asking, why'z it matter if it's a 'girl', I'm part girl, can't I have friends? I mean past experience says 'no', but, what I'm askin' is why?"

"The difference is 'dating'!"

"What? It's just, like, hangin' out, an' doin' stuff..."

"Well, sure, but it is a different kind of 'stuff'."

"How? Just goin' ta movies, hangin' out, gettin' food... Maybe I'm dumb, but I just don't see th' difference."

"Sex! Though 'you are too young, and should not being doing that at your age'..."

"What, like all that perverted stuff Akane's always accusin' me a'? I don't do nuthin' like that! I don't even really get what they are all talkin' 'bout."

"So not only did your father never teach you about this, but you missed it in school as well?"

"Missed WHAT?"

"Don't worry about it... Let me think about this..."

Ranma was frustrated, he hated when people would not give clear explanations, he tended to learn best by example anyway... "Whatever! No offense teach, but yer teachin' techniques, REALLY need work..." With that, the young martial artist went to take his bath.

Hinako had been worried about this, both Ranma's need for a certain class, and her ability to teach it. Her dream had always been to be a respected teacher, valued by both the staff and her students, which was why she had been so happy to find those fish! She had always assumed that if she could stay an adult full time, and stay serious, that she could stay focused, and become the type of instructor of which she dreamed! Setting down the paddle-ball she had been playing with, she fed her fish before returning to her quandary.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ranma was alone, in the empty park across from their apartment, and meditating. Kasumi had come by early that morning and she and Hinako had gone out together, but not before wishing him well on his date. He had elected to spend his time waiting for the girls to show up, training. He was still having trouble understanding how a certain move worked. Most of them he had been able to figure out by the way he was shown to be moving in his lunches, however this last one, did not really show him much. The first 'projectile' he had been shown was fairly easy for him, he simply had to move his arms fast enough, and with enough force to 'fling' out a virtual 'blade' made from the vacuum created by his fast movements. The hardest part of that was being careful with his aim, they were rather dangerous, and not something with which he wanted to miss his target! Not to mention, if he DID hit his target and they were not tough enough to withstand the attack... he shuttered at the thought.

The difference was, that with all of those moves, even that last one, were based on the movements of his 'body', where as this last one was different. While it had a physical component, there was clearly much more to it. It was some form a ki projection, and he was unable to see the flow of ki in the drawing on his bento. He knew how to focus his ki into the various parts of his body for all manner of effects, increasing the potential of whatever he 'encouraged' to improve, allowing him to go well beyond the 'normal' limits of human potential, he could see auras and ki flow in the body and nature, and yet, despite all of that, manifesting it outside of his body had been a challenge. One he had yet to meet.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ukyo had been practicing on the home game system Konatsu had gotten for her, it gave her hands something to do while she contemplated her situation. She had not had a lot of luck coming up with ideas, though she DID plan some more feminine outfits with Konatsu's help, they had even used a bit of make-up on her that morning, and while she appreciated her teacher's support, the woman was not what one would call 'a planner'.

She was really starting to wonder what was taking Ranma so long, when suddenly she remembered something and ran to check the calendar. "Ooooo, it's tamarrah! What perfect timin'! Ah'll use this sauce ta make th' best okonomiyaki evah, an' then Ranchan'll nevah be able ta resist mah charms! It's th' perfect plan! Shampoo, yer goin' down! MUAHAHAHahahhahaha!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Shampoo's cute little sneeze conflicted with the ugly mood she was growing into. "Drink more water, Child!"

"He, he." She did her best to smile politely at her Grandmother, before returning to her brooding. "Day is Sunday, passed one-thirty. Why husband no come by? Say we spend whole day! No dress like this for just anyones!"

Mousse hated himself for enjoying Shampoo's misery over being stood up, yet he was unable to prevent his giddy mood, and he wanted to share it with all! He was so happy that he did not even think to remove his glasses before jumping to Shampoo's lovely side, to prove how how much better a choice he was than that foul Saotome! "Oh my sweet Shampoo! You know I would never make you wait for me!"

The poor glasses did not survive the encounter it had with the impeccably sculpted fist that perfectly matched the intentions in the misguided male's face. "Great-grandmother? Shampoo no wait more, keep stupid Mousse busy please, is okay?"

"Go, have fun. I will make sure this fool does not bother you."

"If Ranma come, hold for Shampoo!" Running out of the cafe, Shampoo's appearance drew the eyes of everyone she passed, most could not even tell that she was mumbling to herself as she ran. "Lying husband no come to Shampoo, Shampoo go to husband!"

"NO! You cannot go out looking like that! Not without me ...to protect you!"

The ancient woman's staff tip came down on the back of Mousse's robes as he tried to give chase. "Are you going to work, or do I need to take extra precautions? You WILL NOT interfere! Do I make myself clear?" The look of fear on his face told her what she needed to know. "Now get to work, or I will lock you in your 'room' again, anyway there is still cleaning to be done even though lunch ended a while ago! Quit slacking, we don't get to eat until we are done ...and don't think for a second I'm not watching." The echoes of her cackles blended with the tapping her cane, and the clanking of dishes being cleared rapidly. It was music to her old ears.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ranma was starting to get frustrated, and his confidence had been shaken, but he was bound a determined to figure out what he was missing! Standing there, with his hands cupped together, he focused all of his concentration and power into his hands. "I WILL get this ...even, if it KILLS MEEEEEE!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ukyo had grown tired of waiting and convinced herself that she needed to go check on him, knowing Ranma, something could have happened, and if her hunch was correct, that 'something's name, was Shampoo!

She had already put the word out that she would be taking Sundays off for a while, though she felt bad about leaving her closed sign out. The only time she had ever stayed closed in this shop had been when she had been contagious, and she had refused to allow anyone else in the building with her. On the other hand, she knew that if she did not do it, she had a good chance of losing Ranma forever. "Damn that Chinese hussy!"

She had given Konatsu some last minute instructions, along with her thanks and some money for meals that day, and bolted out of the door, just missing an old woman, who had been walking down the sidewalk. "Very sorry!"

Pouring on the speed, she rounded the corner, mostly having little trouble avoiding the pedestrian traffic as she neared the halfway point, when she saw one of the most horrifying things she thought possible. Shampoo was bouncing along from a nearby street, 'all tarted up' and wearing a 'dress' that almost made her usual cheongsams seem downright modest! It was sleeveless, even shorter than usual, more than skin tight black silk, with gold trim, and beautiful pink floral print. What made it worse, were the slits across the chest, showing off more cleavage than any one person had any right to possess! Ukyo could not help but see the other girl's breasts bouncing from several blocks away! Then you had the jewelry and hair decorations, and as they got closer, she was certain she could smell her perfume already! "DAMNIT!"

She had gone out of her way, and gotten Konatsu to help her fix her hair, put on make-up and pick out the cutest pastel blue summer dress, with light pink shoes, belt, and bow. Never in her life had she felt so feminine and beautiful, until just moments before, now she just wanted to crawl under a rock! She had picked out the cutest blue and white striped panties and matching bra, she almost NEVER wore a bra! She had gone all out and here was Shampoo, making her feel like an okonomiyaki that had been dropped on the floor and stepped on! It just wasn't fair, even Konatsu was prettier than her! She almost wished Akane was there to bring them back into that stalemate... not that she would ever say that aloud.

Nearing closer to her foe, Ukyo could hear the lilting tinkles of the wind chimes that passed for her hair ornaments, a sound that was already embittering her almost as much as seeing almost every male, and most of the female she passed stop and openly gawk at her! Why was it only perverts, like Kuno, Tsubasa, and the other freaks at Furinkan who wanted her? Most of them wanted anything remotely feminine, and even then, they only wanted her since she started dressing up. It was not as if she had not heard it all before, she knew how guys were, probably better than just about any other women she knew, and yet, here she was, unable to attract the only man she wanted, having to fight with a foreign trollop, who barely spoke the language!

She almost liked it better when their fighting was more literal, her odds were better! They had barely made it to the same block before the verbal battles started in force, not having Ranma there to discourage them.

"Aw, is too too cute, is pretend to be girl today?"

"Ya clearly worried, er ya wouldn't a' had ta dress like a high-class hooker!"

"That right, Shampoo 'high-class', at least no have to hide body!"

"How can ya wear something so ...so revealing? Are ya even WEARING underwear?"

"Of course no, can't have panty line is tight tight dress! Shampoo do ANYTHING for Ranma, and have no need for obstacles to maky husband happy! Obstacles are for killing!" A sly grin crept over Shampoo's face as a twinkle was seen in her eyes. "Can say same, Pancake-Girl?

Ukyo muttered under her breath. "Ah'm surprised ya can even move in that thing! That's what Ah can say..."

"Is too too easy! Just give up before lose all face!"

The other girl's laugh was really getting on Ukyo's last nerve, and she was about to tell her exactly how and why, when they both heard an explosion from the direction of Hinako's apartment building! They instantly looked at each other, worry plainly written over each of their faces, and as one shouted, "RANMA/RANCHAN!" after they took off at full speed, heading for the disturbance!

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Though he was unaware of it at the time, Ranma's unconscious body was flying through the air, and he had at least two people doing their best to follow his trajectory. Unbeknownst to them, they were not the only ones in pursuit, there were others who saw the explosion, some of whom set off tracking the wasted warrior as well, nearly everyone having their own reasons for getting involved.

Ranma, and the tattered remains of his outfit, came hurtling down in the middle of an amusement park, crashing into one of the park's main water pipes, shattering it, and spraying water everywhere. Most of the guests in the immediate vicinity started running away, hoping not to get too soaked, while one of the employees ran in to shut off the valve. Once the water had subsided, people started to notice the battered girl lying, almost naked, in the center of a large crater.

"Is ...that girl ...'dead'?" A crowd of people started forming around the fallen gender-bent warrior.

"Somebody call an ambulance!"

"What could have happened?"

"Must of been one of those martial arts battles we hear so much about..."

"Well, Ah do hear dat some uh them tend ta have a lotta clothin' damage, mah uncle's a tailor, Ah know!"

"But that girl is so small!"

"Aw, ya never kin tell, 'round these parts! Small packages pack a mean punch."

"Not mean enough it seems... Speaking of 'round here', that isn't where you sound like you are from..."

"Shucks no, Ah'm from Shikoku! Ya see, we had this here feller, what came though o'er an' o'er again, always lookin' fer this place, so one day, Ah jus' HAD ta come check it out fer me se'f!"

"Well, uh, that's an interesting story... Thanks for sharing..."

"Hey, no problem. ...Say! Ya wanna hear 'bout this here big pig we got back home?"

"Now is a little bit..."

"Ah, the fiery maiden from the skating rink, to land so close to me, in such a state... It must be fate! Come, let us share a sweet embrace!"

"Stand back, you cretin! You shall not lay one hand upon the ...bare ...breasts-" Tatewaki shook his head to clear his mostly empty mind of the most distracting of its few thoughts. "Where was I? Oh yes! Stand back, you cretin-!"

"You said that already."

"Hey, I am trying to make a point!" The kendoist was clearly getting flustered beyond the point of his already limited reasoning abilities.

"You are doing it badly..."

"Ranma my boy! You're looking good, and in no way able to prevent me from having you model a few things! SWEEET-OOOO!" The ancient master's progress was halted by a rollerblade and a bokken in his face. "Ow! How dare you?"

"OHOHOHOhohohohohoho! Onii-sama, you did not tell me that horrible girl was going to be here! I feel the need to strike something, and that trollop's corpse will do just nicely!"

"I still see breathing."

"A minor technicality."

"Dear sister, I will never allow you to harm those beautiful bre-, er that beautiful maiden!" Tatewaki lowered his bokken toward his sibling.

"OHHOhohohoho~! As if you were enough to stop me!" Kodachi ripped off her dress, revealing her green leotard and freeing a cloud of black rose pedals to float on the breeze.

"If it is for the pig-tailed girl, then I have the strength of one-hundred men!" His aura flared up, ignited with his passion.

"We are supposed to believe that you have some claim, when yet, you haven't even learned the girl's name?" Mikado did a pirouette on his skates before bowing to the ladies in the gathering crowd.

"Poetry is MY shtick! I shall SMITE THEE!" Thus, the grand melee of the Amagi Amusement Park began in earnest.

"Ya see what Ah mean about crazy martial artists?"

"I just see crazy perverts!"

Running toward the commotion, two teens were arguing. "Why make Shampoo buy ticket and go though gate? That take too long!"

"Well, hopefully we'll be able ta have some fun here after we find Ranchan..."

"Aiyaa! Looks like find easy, but no is first... Go, distract perverts, Shampoo save husband! Is Pancake-girl fault so late!"

"Oh ho! Shampoo-chan, nihao! Wo ai ni! Be my airen!" Happosai moved so fast there was not a single person there who could see his movements, though Shampoo did feel a quick breeze before the ancient pervert collapsed near her, a small trickle of blood leaking from his nose...

"That one down... Fine, if that way want be, who next?" Pulling out her oversized chui, the blue-haired beauty leapt into the fray, wondering who else was going to join.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Where the HELL am I now? I know I saw that bastard's body fly overhead, but where did it go? Curse you Ranma!" As would be expected, Ryoga then turned, and ran off in the completely wrong direction...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

The plan was a good one, even if she did not care for the way the tasks had been 'assigned', thankfully for her, even gussied up, the disgusting old man ignored her completely, creating the needed distraction. Ukyo did her best to resist the urge to join her rival in battle, and make her way to Ranma's side. While she had not brought her baker's peel, the Osakan chef did not leave home empty handed, she had learned that lesson well. She had almost made it through the quickly growing crowd, when someone yelled!

"Hey, how is the girl's body lifting into the air?"

"It looks like it's floating to me!"

Sure enough, the clearly unconscious female form was rising over a meter off of the ground. With a desperate burst of strength, Ukyo dove for the dangling feet of her childhood friend. "Ne! Don't leave meh hangin'!"

Shampoo had also seen it, managing to disengage by misdirecting her opponent onto one of the others, and pounced over the growing dust cloud before it could completely engulf her with the rest of them. While in the air, she hurled one of her weapons toward her bitter enemy, before twisting her body to land in that direction.

Ukyo felt the attack coming and rolled to get out of the way, pulling Ranma with her, though she had not managed to pull Ranma back down to the ground. Just as she moved, the large metal ball landed near where she had been with a loud thud. Yer aim's off, that nevah would a' hit meh!"

"Growlf!"

"Shampoo no miss!" She started running their way, pulling out a meter long sword to replace the dropped hammer. "Panda-man no get away!"

"Genma? Where'zat bastard?" Seeing panda-shaped footprints in the fresh mud, Ukyo knew where to toss her, "Flour Bomb!" The flour quickly turned to a batter in the wet fur, and making him much easier to track, this did not, on the other hand, prevent him from running away with Ranma over his shoulder, and dragging Ukyo along, with Shampoo close behind them.

"No let go!"

"Ya ain't gotta tell meh THAT!"

"Had to tell was Panda."

"How'd ya know that, anyway?"

"Never forget wet-panda smell! Also, see tracks..."

"IZAT' what that is?"

"Is too too strong smell, make for easy tracking! Now PULL!"

Genma was heading into the Children's Grotto when Shampoo shouted, Ukyo did as she had been told, and he had gotten hit in the back of the head with her other chui knocking him onto the train of carts, which started up when he landed in them. Thankfully for their liability, the children had all run away, when they saw the now visible panda running at them with a naked girl over his shoulder, closely followed by two other very angry looking women. He tried to get out and resume his chase, but his panda form was too large for the cars, keeping him quite stuck as they entered the attraction.

"Take Ranma, Shampoo get weapons, try make sure no is followed, catch up soon!"

Happy to not argue, Ukyo hefted the lighter form of her promised onto her back and took off looking for anywhere she could hide, get cleaned up, and maybe get Ranma a shirt. Running as quickly as she could while carrying another person, Ukyo first ran passed a vending booth, grabbing a tee-shirt while leaving money in its place, and then a concession stand, for a cup of tea, which she tossed over her shoulder as she ran. She grunted a bit under the sudden shift in weight, but bounded ahead.

She saw that the line at the Ferris wheel was not only conveniently short, but also a nice ...'romantic', place to hide, and headed straight there, ignoring the stares she was getting from all of the people she passed.

"Is that part of the attraction?"

"Those aren't the normal mascots!"

"Look at those torn pants, maybe they are here for a Jungle Man adventure?"

"Well, the muddy dress does scream damsel in distress, but someone should tell them they have it backwards!"

Offended by her date's statement, even if he had paid for her company, the teen with the bad dye job got in the older man's face. "Hey! Who says the girl can't be the hero?" The two friends that had been following her as a safety net, got involved.

"Yeah!"

"I say!"

"And who are you? What makes you an authority?"

"I'm a MAN of course!" The three teen-aged girls proceeded to pound the guy into the dirt.

"Nobody cares what you think?"

"This ...makes you ...more of a ...villain!" The man groaned before passing out, not at all regretful for his words.

"Maybe from YOUR point of view!"

"We just stood up for women everywhere!"

"Yeah! Pffttttt!" The overly tanned girl, with the bleached hair, kicked the tactless man with her glittered shoe as she blew her raspberry.

As soon as Ukyo plopped Ranma into the seat of the ride, she hopped in behind him, and only hesitated slightly to wipe the drool off her chin before putting the shirt on him as the ride slowly started moving. Then she really got a good look at the tattered remains of his pants, making her scoot in closer, putting her arm around his shoulders, her other hand rested on his leg.

"Oh Ranchan, why can't we evah have moments like this when yer awake?" Her hand was slowly inching closer, when Ranma suddenly moved slightly, and she quickly pulled her left hand away.

"...Oh, 'morn' Ucchan, sleep well?"

Not wanting to worry him until he recovered, she just played along, enjoying how it felt like something a married couple would say! "Sleepin' next ta ya, Ranchan, it couldn't be bettah!"

"That's nice, wake me when breakfast is ready..." She might have considered that a pretty sexist comment, not that she would not LOVE to be able to cook breakfast for Ranma every day, however knowing what she knew now, about him cooking for Hinako and helping Kasumi, she was less certain what to think.

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Seeing Genma was stuck for the moment, Shampoo took the time to gather her weapons. After getting the one closest to her, she had to run back to where more than half a dozen various combatants brawled near the still incapacitated form of the fallen ancient master, hoisted by his own petard. She smiled inwardly at the idea the he would try to steel her panties, as if she needed such things that day!

Her other weapon had rolled rather close to ground zero, and she was not sure if she could retrieve it without getting involved in the fight again. Her only goal had been to make sure that she bought her nominal partner time to get their shared love interest to safety, and she was capable of that with her current armaments. However, her pair of chui held sentimental value, and were very important to her, having been a gift from her late mother. There was a chance that it could still be there when she returned, as most people would have difficulty even lifting one, though she would rather not take that chance. Losing one in a battle, or to gain her husband might make her mother proud, but to have it stolen would not do her memory justice.

Her decision made, she made a mad dash, grabbing lost mace and launched a low surprise attack, swiping most of the combatants legs out from under them. She planned to continue to follow her momentum, and circle around to check back up on the panda, when her movement was arrested.

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Kodachi had done her best to stay out of the main melee, and use her longer range to prevent any accidental scuffs that could temporarily mar her beauty. The first thing she had done was to tie up Happosai while he was still out of it, not wanting to be molested by anyone other than her Ranma-sama, and then turned her attention back to where even more fighters had joined their fun, some she was certain she had never seen before, including what seemed to be the park's mascots! There was something about the whole thing that seemed very 'wrong' to her, but there she just could not place her finger on it.

Well, it was no matter, she would take care of any who tried to keep her from her boy-toy! Including that red-headed hussy that had captured her brother's easily wandering eye... Thinking of which, she wondered where the horrid girl had gone...

While whipping the combatants and occasionally lobbing small explosives, she saw Shampoo running in her for her sweeping strike. Waiting until her adversary had knocked down the others, she used her ribbon to ensnare the barbarian's wrist.

"OHOHOHOHOhohoho! You will not get away again so easily, you tarted up foreign strumpet!"

"Just because no dress nice, is no reason to say shampoo bad for have style. Date with Ranma worth extra effort!"

"First that ill-bred Ukyo, now the Chinese tart! How could I be left out of this? It is a mistake that must be rectified!"

"Is no mistake, husband no like Rose-girl, is too too obvious!"

"Oh? As if you were one to talk, no matter how strongly your advances are rebuked, you still cling to my Ranma-sama as if your life depended on it!"

"...It might, but that different! Airen have too too much honor, only act that way because stupid father make stupid promise to stupid training partner! Ranma. Love. SHAMPOO!"

"Ohoho... If you believed that, why are you getting so upset? Prove it!"

"Stupid Rose-girl ask for it..." Her weapons almost seemed to be aflame as the enraged warrior charged in, slashing at the girl's ribbon, and blocking her pins with her hammer. "At least Shampoo get go on many date with Ranma... Shampoo even take bath with husband! How about Rose-girl?"

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While trying to free himself, Genma used his hot ki to dry himself, hoping to prevent being detected the same way again. Using one of his signs, he hooked part of the display, and finally pulled himself loose from the car. "Growlf!"

The first thing needed to do was get the dough out of his fur. It did not make sense to him that the flour did not also vanish like everything else he wore... Usually only things with a sufficient ki, or willpower could resist his influence. It was not as if he were actually invisible, he just used his aura to trick people into not seeing him, even while they were looking right at him. The girl must have imbued it with her ki, making it like a tracking marker.

Once he felt he had removed enough of the sticky substance from his fur, bitterly complaining about how much easier it would have been to do in human form all the while, he slipped out the back door. Restoring his 'calm' state, he searched out for the largest 'pools' of ki in the immediate area. There were quite a number nearby, and one or two very close ones a ways off. Playing the odds, Genma went after the more distant targets.

Nearing the source, he felt it getting further away and hurried until he could no long sense a direction, and it was still getting further, and then slowing before they started getting closer again. Looking around, he saw that he was under the Ferris wheel, and realized where they must be hiding. 'Just like a woman, the only place more obvious would have been the Tunnel of Love!'

Genma started leaping from car to car, causing each one to rock, some more wildly than others, depending on how well he landed, although a panda weighing more than one hundred kilograms jumping on a cage designed to swing was going to cause a lot of movement, whether anyone could see it or not.

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Ukyo had relaxed as Ranma had gone back into full unconsciousness, and started to grow bold once his snoring resumed. Her hand was steadily moving up his leg almost reaching its goal again, and she was occasionally nibbling on his ear, when all of a sudden, it felt like a mild earthquake! Then it happened again, louder, and more intense, then again, like the footsteps of a giant monster!

Every few moments it felt as though the entire world was shaking, and getting worse each time. Ukyo was glad they were getting closer to the ground, almost as much as she hated the idea of leaving this comfy spot, perhaps the Tunnel of Love would have been a better choice? It was dark and cozy, on the other hand it was full of water, and she wanted to keep Ranma a male for as much time as possible, even if it would make running with him more difficult!

She managed to pull herself away from Ranma enough to search the surrounding area for what might be causing the disturbance. When the obvious 'kaiju' possibility did not present itself, she started searching for anything else that could be the problem. The only thing that stood out to her, had been that every time the world shook, it appeared to her, that one of the cages on the other side of the wheel would shake more than the others, yet she could not see anything that might be causing it. Remembering Genma's strange 'new trick' from earlier, she started mentally cursing Shampoo's apparent failure.

Ukyo was not as good with heights as many of her peers, though better than even many martial artists, she still was not at all confident about jumping out of their carriage, never mind while carrying Ranma! If she tried to climb out, and down, or almost any other way she could think of to get down, such as a rope, the aerial techniques of the Saotome school would easily give Genma the advantage. The only thing she could think to do was wait until they were lower, hoping Genma did not find them before she could manage the leap.

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Kasumi and Hinako had spent the morning going to different shops, mostly window shopping, only buying a few things here and there when Kasumi saw something she thought someone close to her would like. Now that she was no longer having to worry about their budget, and had a disposable income, she just loved being able to buy presents for the people she loved, well except for Nabiki, who preferred less ...thoughtful gifts.

She had paid extra close attention to Hinako, and what the other woman seemed to enjoy. Kasumi had thought the teacher's personality changed with her apparent age and yet, they seemed to be stopping to look at toys, games, and other 'fun' things far more often than she would have expected with her being an adult the entire time. Although, Kasumi had to admit to herself, she did not know the other woman all that well, and either way, she was far too polite to say anything about it.

In fact, she was so easily distracted, they had taken far longer than Kasumi had anticipated, making her glad she had ordered that nice sushi platter to be delivered for her family's lunch. She felt a bit of a guilty pleasure when she remembered Genma telling them that he would be busy most of the day, but would give the thought no voice.

It was a good bit passed her normal time for eating lunch when they finally stopped for a bite, but at least her companion looked happy, and the place smelled wonderful. Hinako's moods had fluctuated all day, getting excited about something one moment, and cool enough to give Nabiki a run for title of 'Ice Queen' the next, though seemed to calm again once their food came.

"So, please tell me, how is Ranma-kun's tutoring going?"

"Quite well over all, considering how much we have to cover. Although, there is one issue that has ...arisen, and I am not certain that I am the right person for the task."

"Oh, you must! If not you, than who could we ask? Ranma-kun trusts so few people with anything private, such as how little formal education there had been, if this is so important, then you must not break that trust. What subject is it? If there is anything that I can do..."

"Well, it seems that Saotome-kun also missed out on ...sexual education, doesn't know the first thing about it at all." Hinako's voice lowered to a mere whisper as she mentioned 'sex', not wanting to embarrass anyone more then necessary.

"My my, that certainly would explain a lot."

"We WILL be getting to the right grade level for it before too long, though I am not sure it ought to wait, considering the rather ...aggressive nature of the situation."

"That is true."

"Well, we do not have anything from the elementary school levels at our school, and I certainly did not expect to need to cover THAT material, considering everything so far..." Hinako remembered the rather intimate nature of their earliest encounters, almost blushing as she recalled the feeling his strong arms embracing her.

"What do you mean?"

Shaking herself out of her flashback, Hinako thought quickly. "Oh, I will need to gather some teaching materials at least."

"I have some medical books that could help, would you like me to bring them to you?"

"Oh, yes, that would be quite useful..."

"Good, just let me know if I can do anything else to help. Now, would you like a sundae perhaps?"

"'Help'... hummm... yes, that might work..."

"What was that?"

"Oh, yes, I'd love some ice cream, thank you!" Part of the weight of her problem lifted, and the prospect of dessert brought her youthful exuberance back to the fore as Kasumi signaled for a server.

"Then, when we are done, if you do not mind, I would like to get your opinion on a few more places ...that is, if it is not too much trouble."

"Certainly, I do not expect Saotome-kun to return for a while, with any luck, they will have fun on their dates today." Both of the women silently hoped they were having fun on their outing.

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Ukyo had been closely watching as the other cars shook, being the only way she could tell where, what she assumed to be, Genma was located. He seemed to be getting closer faster than they were getting to the ground as well, and she was going to have to jump for it. She wished the angle was better, so that she might have a chance at rebounding off of the other cars, or one of the arms, but she would need her arms, and then would be unable to hold onto Ranma. She saw only one option, aim for the highest point, the top of the short fence that kept people from getting near the moving parts of the ride.

One of these days she was going to have to get Ranma to teach her how he was able to change his direction so well while in mid air, but first, they had to get away. 'Shampoo is SO goin' ta get a piece a' mah mind when this's ov'r!' "Banzaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

Ukyo's aim was true, she managed to make the fence, though her legs protested the landing, and her short heel got caught in the cheap fencing, sending her, and Ranma, sprawling, culminating in a hard faceplant, sending her off to join Ranma in dreamland...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

The invisible panda noticed the pair leaping from the next carriage, and seeing his goal, he leapt, landing on the now empty capsule. As soon as he landed, he discovered a surprised that the chef had left for him, in the form of canola oil, poured on the top of the cabin, and he slid over the edge. "GroOowlf!"

Being an old hack at these sorts of things, even after smacking his own head on the car, he managed to cling onto the edge long enough to make the leap a bit more safely. Seeing the shoe stuck in the fence, he grabbed it as he pushed his way through the staring crowd.

"What is going on here?"

"Is it just me, or has this Ferris wheel ride gotten much more exciting lately?"

"Hey!"

"No need to shove!"

"Who did that?"

"Izat a SHOE, floating the air?"

'Damnit! How does that keep happening?' Genma was frustrated, tucking the shoe under his panda arm, and thinking he was too rusty, though he cheered up considerably when he saw the girl's unconscious form, still clinging to his son. Pulling them apart, he threw Ranma over his shoulder again, tossed the strangely feminine footwear to its owner, along with a sign, and ran for the exit before anyone else could try to stop him.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kodachi had ensnared the bound and gagged pervert with her ribbon, and had been using him as a bludgeoning weapon at a range, while Shampoo was alternating between blocking with either Tatewaki or Mikado's defeated forms. Having just retrieved them, Shampoo did not want to risk throwing her chui again, so decided on an alternative course of action. First she threw Mikado, intentionally entangling him in the gymnast's debauched weapon, then she threw Tatewaki straight for the other girl, and charged in behind, redrawing her sword and mace.

Kodachi wasted no time in using her clubs to pulverize her elder brother, who changed back into Copycat Ken upon impact as Shampoo flipped over their heads. She had managed to avoid the follow-up attack from behind, but tripped, and landed atop the boy who had been impersonating her comatose kin. Some of the people who later saw the photos taken, had thought it was a rather lewd display.

It had taken a moment for Kodachi to realize that it was not her battered brother who was lying under her, before remembering that her real brother had been bedridden, unable to move under his own power, and feeling a bit silly for having forgotten such a thing.

Shampoo took off, searching for any sign of her targets, quickly followed by Kodachi, once she had extracted herself from twisted pile of limbs, and pulled out a new ribbon. "You will not escape me, not until you tell me what you have done with my Ranma-sama!"

"Shampoo do nothing ...yet, is looking too! Is stupid?"

In light of her recent realization, that accusation hit rather close to home. "How DARE you? I will have you know that-"

"What that?" Jumping higher, she saw Ranma's folded body, pushing its way through the crowd, toward the exit. "RANMA! Useless one let Airen go, but no get away from Shampoo this time!"

Without realizing it, the two antagonistic teens worked in tandem, Shampoo charging in, while Kodachi snagged his motionless body with her streaming ribbon. Shampoo managed to land a blow to where she assumed Genma had been, based on how Ranma had been carried, and heard a satisfying panda-grunt as a result. Even if she could not use her ki senses, she had not spent all that time learning blind fighting and tracking for nothing, she looked for any sign, sound of breathing, falling speck of dust, anything.

Kodachi took off with her prize, leaving Shampoo to battle the unseen foe alone. "Why Shampoo?" The young warrior let out a sigh. "Fight Shampoo, everyone help, help Shampoo fight, all run away..."

The first sign of movement was too late! She felt about two dozen stabs to her exposed rear flank, and collapsed to the ground. The panda faded into view, holding a sign that said, 'Haku da to Shin Shou! That should take care of you for a while'. Even if he had the time to waste, his gloating did not last, for the fallen tribal warrior poured every last bit of strength she had into making a long needed connection between her chui and the mammal's long forgotten groin. The sudden reminder filling him with a pain not unlike having both of his arms broken and the wind knocked out of him.

"Serve ...Panda-man ...right!" The bruised young woman collapsed, unable to move another muscle.

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Kodachi ran to the best hiding place she could think of to be alone with 'her lover'. She had gotten a few odd looks from the ride's operator, but after she gave him a look in return, he quickly waved her and her passenger into a boat. "Enjoy the ride!"

"I am certain we will! Ohohoho, Ah ha ah ha AAAAAAAAAH!" The man was not sure if she was laughing, screaming, or moaning in ecstasy, and he was just glad to send them on their way, he was about to go on break, and then they would be someone else's problem.

Sitting together in the dark, Kodachi wrapped herself around her 'companion', as a snake might its prey, and enjoyed the sensations it caused in her. "Oh Ranma-sama, how can you go out with those other girls, when you have someone like me? Am I not the most beautiful, elegant, graceful, devoted ...and RICHEST girl around? What more could any boy want? You know I would do ANYthing you asked of me, no matter how kinky! In fact..." Her body's writhing increased, as she rubbed ever harder. "I am so excited I cannot wait to begin!"

Just to be safe, she applied a bit of her weak paralysis lipstick before placing his hands on her body, and kissing his chest, still covered by a tee-shirt, slowly working her up. "Come my darling, let us make beautiful music together!" No sooner had she made her declaration, then their boat exited the tunnel, and came to a stop by the operator again, who was still waiting on his relief. She just glared at him, and he came to the conclusion that allowing them to ride again would be in his own best interest...

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Ukyo was having a lovely time dancing with Ranma, even if the carnival music was not to her tastes. It was not until the bike horn started honking, that the pounding in her noggin alerted her to the discomfort in her face. Opening her eyes, she saw the wall of one of the buildings near the Ferris wheel, that was acting as her backrest. Moaning, she tried to lift her head, and figure out what was happening. "Ooooh ...could someone PLEASE kill that noise!"

The clowns, who were dancing and playing with the children around the corner, completely ignored her protest, as she rolled over, onto the sign that had been resting on her back. "SHIMATTA!" Trying to get up, she poked herself in the side on the heel of the shoe that had caused her fall earlier, and only glanced at it before breaking the heels off of both shoes! "Damn heels! Why'd Ah evah think that was a good idea?"

Rubbing her side, she stood up, flipping over the plaque that was recognizably Genma's handwriting. 'Maybe if you acted as girlie as you were trying to look, you wouldn't be in this mess...'

Everyone near the small concession stand turned to stare at the small mushroom cloud, that originated from the explosion behind the building. "THAT BASTARD!"

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Unbeknownst to her, all of Kodachi's erratic movements dislodged their boat from the track, and they had gotten stuck, she did, however, notice getting a bit damp, but had just figured that was par for the course in a water ride. Ranma DID seem to feel a little different, but she also paid this no mind, as certain things took priority over such trivial matters.

Thoroughly enjoying her foreplay of rubbing herself against her stationary 'sweetheart', Kodachi felt certain that she would come ...to a conclusion quite soon. Did she wish to wait, or to fulfill her dreams and become a woman right then? "YES! Take me, Ranma-sama! Make me your ooooown!"

The gymnast started to pull off Ranma's new shirt, when a voice distracted her. "Not on mah watch, ya hussy!" Ukyo punctuated her statement by throwing one of her mini-baker's peels into the boat, right beside the gymnast.

"You BITCH!" The rose she had in her hand snapped as the young woman's face contorted from one of bliss, to something rather demonic. "I was so close! Do not worry my darling, I will take care of this interloper, and we will reach utter rapture together!" In her rage, Kodachi blindly hurled several of her small bombs in Ukyo's general direction, one of which got close, and Ukyo had to throw one of her own flour bombs to counter it, sending flour everywhere. One of the bombs rolled near the wall, and blew open a small hole, and letting in enough light for them to see more clearly once the dusting of powder had settled.

"How did you find me?"

"Well, ya broke th' attraction, there's a huge crowd a' people out there, complainin' 'bout not gettin' ta' ride... Maybe next time ya wanna have a secret yuri love tryst, ya might wanna not inconvenience a few dozen people ta do it!"

As the daylight, and Ukyo's words, filtered into the small dark room, Kodachi happened to glance down, and notice that something was definitely not right in the land of Nerima... "Yuri? No, Ranma-sama and I, I ...WHAAAAAAAT? How did you get here? You wicked, wicked girl!" Shooting an evil glare at Ukyo, she lowered a club that found its way to her hand, at the chef's head. "This is all your doing, isn't it? You knocked out this ...thing, and substituted it for my Ranma-sama, didn't you?"

"Huh?"

"You will pay for that!"

The shrieks from Kodachi's banshee impression, woke Ranma from the little nap, to find that moving was impossible, and just in time to see the self-proclaimed 'Black Rose' attack his best friend, who was doing her best to manage without her favorite melee weapon. Luckily for her, Kodachi tended to favor ranged combat, and that was Ukyo's main option at the time.

No matter how 'un-girlie' it might be, Ukyo silently swore she would never go on another date with Ranma without her baker's peel! They traded projectiles, making a mess of flour, shattered plaster, and sliced ribbons all over the room, until Ukyo had finally had enough. "Okinawan Rubber Yakisoba!" Throwing a bundle of noodles with each hand, she managed to entangle the gymnast, who's attention had been split between her and the red-head in the boat.

The more she struggled, the more the noodle ropes tightened around her. Kodachi was about to protest her current situation, unfortunately for her, the moment she opened her mouth, it was filled with a scoop of batter, far too thick and sticky to swallow. Before she was able to do more than struggle and a bit of muffled yelling, the chef was on her, wrapping her in the noodles, and hanging her from the tip of the gondola. "Come-on, Ranchan, let's get ya out a' here."

Ukyo was just about to heft Ranma onto her shoulders, when she heard the splashing of footsteps in the shallow water. Fearing the worst, she pulled out two of her small kote, and took up a defensive position in front of the boat, intending to protect Ranma with everything she had as the sounds got closer.

Seeing the water splashing, and no one doing it, she knew what was coming, and desperately scanned the room, looking for anything that might help. She was almost out of flour bombs, and could not afford to miss with her last one.

Genma saw her watching his position, assumed correctly that she was watching him splash around, and climbed out of the water. What he had not counted upon, was that his wet feet were making very obvious footprints in the flour already covering the ground. The park employees were not going to enjoy cleaning up the mess.

"Crime-of-passion Firecracker!" She flung the bucket of tempura flakes, preparing to spark it.

Genma remembered this attack from when Ukyo had shown up to challenge he and Ranma, and tried to avoid it, though her spread was wide, and the cloud was unavoidable. The tiny explosions began slowly at first, but each one ignited several others, and once it caught his fuzzy hide, they went off like mad. His flaming fur setting off any of the gunpowder that got close. Diving back into the far too shallow water, and had to roll around to put out the flames.

Seeing the burning panda fade back into view as he landed hard on hidden tracks below the surface, Ukyo had to fight to keep herself from laughing. But she knew that would not keep him down for long, she had almost nothing left to throw that would not deprive her of her only remaining melee weapons, and she refused to leave Ranma's side, so she resorted to kicking the remains of Kodachi's clubs at him, hoping to knock him out while his face was still under water.

All of this had what was, to her anyway, an unfortunate side effect, since the water was so shallow, and not too cool to begin with, the heat of the flames was enough to change him back, allowing him to speak once again. "Just give it up, leave the boy to me, and everything can go back to the way it was..."

"No!" Despite her earlier misgivings with Shampoo, she did not even hesitate, no matter what might be best for her position, Ranma deserved better than the way he had been treated by Genma and the others, and there was no way she would allow him to be taken against his will! "If Ranchan wanted ta go back, ya wouldn't have ta be here, ya'd be ta'gether already. Matter a' fact, mah biggest regret a' not goin' with ya, was that Ah couldn't get Ranchan away from ya sooner!"

"A perfect example of why women should be seen and not heard, just try to be pretty, like a doll. Just go back to the kitchen and make some sandwiches!"

"Ah will, for Ranchan, after ya leave us alone!"

"The boy needs to learn to be a man, no woman can teach that! Women are no good at being manly, you should know this better than anyone. Take shogi for example, women are no good at it, because it requires logic, and strategy, where as mahjongg, for example uses cunning and manipulation, women are good at that!"

"Ah've seen ya play shogi, an' Ah gotta say, Ah seen better strategies by children! 'Hey, look, a ten yen coin!' is not a strategy!"

Genma started looking around for anything shiny. "TEN YEN! Where?"

"Stupid, greedy, lazy, an' worse! D'ja ev'n whore ya'self out fer ten yen too? There no level ya won't sink ta? Ya represent th' worse humanity has ta offer, an' ya wouldn't know 'manly' if it bit ya! It's amazin' Ranchan didn't turn out just like ya, with no other role models! They' ain't much worse 'an a male chauvinist pig, an' yer one a' th' worst of 'em!"

"Oh sure there is, take a woman that won't follow orders, for example, won't stay out of manly affairs, always trying to butt in where you don't belong!"

"If it's ta stop ya from hurtin' Ranchan, then it's th' only place AH belong! Yah've spread enough pain!"

"Oh, the shame of it all, my son, being protected by a girl, of all things! How low can one person get?"

"If anyone'd know how low someone can git..."

'I don't need no protection, I ain't unmanly, I just can't MOVE!' Ranma struggled, but between his exhaustion and the paralysis, he could not even blink. He could barely even see anything happening, only occasionally when Ukyo would pass in front of him could he catch a glimpse of her. He was worried, it was not as if he expected she could beat his father, especially without her primary weapon, which was exactly why being primarily a weapon user was a weakness in his book, no matter how strong you might be with it. Using a weapon was not a problem, but growing dependent on it was. Ukyo could still fight without her weapons, but she was at a disadvantage, and against Genma, who could typically hold his own with Ranma... Well, the last thing he wanted, was to see his friend get hurt for something he could handle, and that was his responsibility in the first place.

He was doing everything he could to try and help, but could not move in the slightest, he tried to will himself to get up, and nothing happened, he tried to use his ki to heal himself and had much the same result, it was not going well! This was something that he could not ever remember happening before, not unless he had been in a long and difficult fight, where he expended everything he had in order to win, and he was running on nothing but willpower alone. Though that did not make sense, the last big fight like that he had been in, was with that Chinese prince ...and even willpower wasn't helping him. It was almost as if he had been ...paralyzed, of course!

The clash of flesh on metal made him mentally cringe, and judging by the sounds, his friend was taking more damage that she was dishing out. "Ain't lettin' ya ...THROUGH!" Hearing his father grunt, made Ranma wish he could smile, as he tried even harder to move, still with no success.

"How low are you just going to lie there, Boy? I know you can hear me! Making these girls fight your battles for you, first that teacher, and now this?" Genma's voice trailed off to a whisper, mumbling to himself more than anything. "...if your mother ever found out." The elder Saotome cringed a bit at the thought, earning him a kick to the head, and sending him sliding across the flour covered floor, sweeping up some of the mess.

"Ya should worry 'bout th' fight yer in, a'fore ya start another!"

"Why? You are hardly a threat normally, and you don't exactly look like you have much let in you."

"Have ya looked in a mirror?"

"It looks worse than it is."

"The how this do?" Genma felt a heavy metal impact on each side of his head, before he felt nothing more as he faded into unconsciousness. "Aiyaaa! Look like was set on fire and put out with spike club!"

"Well, Ah did the fire, but they were yer clubs..."

"Was no talking panda, Kote-girl looking just awful."

"Hey! Ya got no idea what Ah been though! All thanks ta ya not stoppin' the bastard!"

"Shampoo too, fought panda-man, rose-girl, copy-boy, skates-boy, get hit with old pervert, and more!"

"Then how'd yer clothes stay so nice? That dress's skin tight an' thin as paper, an' yet, looks just fine!"

"Is old Nujie Zu Steel Cloth technique. Make any clothing like armor. Where Airen? Is safe?"

"Of course, Ah'm still alive ain't Ah? Ranchan's in th' boat there."

"Then let's grab an' go, more trouble be here soon."

Ranma felt himself being lifted, and wanted to protest to his face being pressed into Shampoo's soft, and silky chest, but had remained unable to do that, or anything else as they made their escape though a brand new opening in the rear of the building.

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"Ya have ta press my Ranchan's face inta yer chest like that?"

"Is to protect husband's no blinky eyes, is want Airen to get hurt?"

"Where ya takin' us, Sugar?"

"Nekohanten, of course. If anyone help Airen, it is Great-Grandmother!"

Ukyo wanted to argue, and take Ranma to HER place instead, so she could pamper him herself, but could not really fault the logic, the old woman knew more to help than she ever could... "Fine, ya probably right..."

It was still well before the dinner rush by the time they arrived, and the dining room was empty. They laid Ranma on the table as Shampoo yelled to the back. "Great-grandmother, hurry!"

The elder was surprised to find what awaited her as she hopped in the front room. "What could have done that to the Son-in-law?"

"No know, was explosion, blow across city, find Airen like this."

"That Kuno girl was there too, might a' done somethin', one a' those crazy poisons er somthin'!"

Cologne could hardly believe this was the same boy, his life force far below even a normal person, let alone what passed for normal to him. "Shampoo, go get some hot water, maybe the restorative nature of the cure could help, and save some water for tea."

"Tea? At a time like this?"

"I will get the healing tea, it has energizing properties. The Son-in-law's qi is so low I can barely even sense it." She saw his eyes twitching occasionally, she wondered how aware he was. "Can you hear me, Ranma? Can you move at all?" Him managing to blink gave Cologne hope that he would recover ...at some point. She did not sense anything broken, he was just weakened and slowed, and something else...

Returning with the tea, she found both girls huddled around the table holding a male Ranma. "What happened to you, can you speak?" She could tell he was struggling to make the attempt, so could tell he at least could hear, and understand her. "I am going to pour some tea into your mouth, slowly, do your best to swallow." She was glad they would not have to massage his throat or anything of that nature, though she was sure that all of them were disappointed in not being able to feed it to him with their mouths, including herself.

She had seen warriors almost completely deplete themselves of ki before, but never quite to this level. If he had not been able to get this down, they would have had to wait for him to recover enough on his own to eat and drink, and going that long without food, on that little life force, was not a healthy option. The body begins to consume itself at that point, and it can take a long time to build ones strength back after such an ordeal.

Normally by the time someone had consumed a whole cup of their special tea, one would be able to at least move, slowly, if not be well on the way to being able to eat proper foods. Both of the young women were feeling much better after drinking theirs. At least Ranma had managed to blink more normally, and less forced. She could tell it was working, she could feel his aura strengthening, yet something was keeping him from moving. "If only you could tell me what happened. Wait, you mentioned some type of poison, do you know what it was?"

"...paralyzed ...probably ...black rose ...extract..." Ranma found he finally had the energy to try to speak, but still could not move his mouth properly, he remembered the feeling well, and if Ukyo had said that Kodachi might have done something to him, he had to assume that had to be it.

"Ranchan!"

"Airen is talking!"

"Well, that is an unusual one. If only we had a proper healer, we could make a proper antidote."

"No can help, great-grandmother?"

"I didn't say that, I do not have an exact antidote for that poison, but we could try activated charcoal, if it was ingested, do you know how it was administered?"

"...was ...out of it ...last time ...breathed dust."

"Well that would not work, nightshade maybe, or..."

"...wears off ...few hours ...could be worse..."

"Heh heh heh! Maybe we should just let you rest it off in Shampoo's bed-"

"NO!" Even Ranma was surprised by the reaction from the room's owner, all of whom had assumed she would be the one MOST in favor of it. "Let Shampoo clean first!" With that, she ran up stairs at top speed, where banging and thumping had been heard, before she ran back down almost as quickly. Between her huffs and pants, she managed to get out, "Is okay now!"

Ukyo would probably have protested, but she had already decided, Shampoo's room or no, she was not going to leave his side, even if they tried to throw her out!

"Why don't the two of you carry the boy to bed then, while I make sure Mousse is busy and make you something to replenish your strength ...you are likely going to need it!" Cackles filled the room as she pogoed out of the room.

"This time, it's yer turn ta get th' feet!"

Shampoo pouted, but it had no effect on the chef, and she could only think of one protest. "Shampoo's chest make better pillow, flat chest is better for resting feet!"

"'Till ya start saggin', 'Ah-ain't-gotta-wear-a-bra'-han!"

"Is one to talk, better than making flat with bandage!"

"It don't matter, it's still mah turn!" With that, Ukyo looped her arms under his, and leaned his back against her chest as she waited for Shampoo to grab his feet.

Shampoo threw his legs over her shoulders, and considering the state of his pants, she acquired, what she considered to be, a very nice view. "Have upper part, so must go up stairs first."

Realizing her mistake, Ukyo grimaced, but could not change her mind now, not after the fit she made. Being so close, she realized one other thing that she had overlooked in her previous panic. "Ranchan, ya could really use a bath, ya smell like a French Brothel."

"Ya kind a' look like ya been drug through th' mud yerself, Ucchan."

"Ya don't know th' half of it!"

Shampoo had an idea, and once they reached the top of the stairs, she put it in motion. "Stop, we stopping in this room. Dirty clothes get mud all over Airen, no can put in Shampoo bed so dirty! Must wash first!"

"Ah hate ta agree with Shampoo, but that's a good point, we're all filthy, an' ya can't do nuthin' yerself, so we're gonna have ta do it fer ya!"

"No, ya don't gotta...!"

"Sush, no is way Ranma can get Shampoo bed dirty, must work hard to make get that way! No worry, Shampoo wash husband too too good! Be gentle ...promise."

"Just ...leave me on ...th' roof!"

"No is way! Husband must get accustom..."

"Yeah, Ranchan, besides, maybe this perfume is what's doin' it, then we just gotta wash it off! It our duty!"

"Airen is big eater, but this time is we who eat you..."

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Little did Ukyo realize how correct her statement had been. Everything had been going well, they had thoroughly enjoyed washing all of Ranma's body, even if he did not react the way they had expected, or at all, aside from his usual protests, and they generally ignored most of those, although when they tried to kiss him, both of them stared to feel a bit slower. First Shampoo, then Ukyo fell over, finding it difficult to move, whereas Ranma was finding it a bit easier. He leaned over and managed to wash the rest of his face, feeling a bit better, even if he was a long way from 'normal', and starving! He was not really thinking of that at the time however, so just threw on his shoes and the remnants of his pants before jumping out of the window.

Even knowing full well that there was plenty of food there, and that any of them would have happily made almost anything he wanted, just to keep him around, heck, they probably would have even given him some clothing to wear home as well, but his instincts screamed at him to flee!

By the time he made it to the apartment, he had calmed down a good bit, but was still in a rush out of the embarrassment of being out in public in such an outfit, and he was still not feeling completely recovered. Luckily, Hinako was still out with Kasumi, and he was able to get changed and start cooking some lunch without incident.

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Cologne had sensed something happening upstairs, the emotions changed considerably. She might not have worried too much about Ranma going from uncomfortable to panic, that was to be expected after all, though when Ranma felt relief, and her Granddaughter and the other started to worry. Ranma's weak aura leaving before she had made it up the stairs did not help matters. Something had happened with the boy, and she had a feeling she knew what, though she wanted to hear it from his lips to be sure.

Opening the door, she saw the two nearly-nude teens, covered with only a towel and a look of disappointment. "What happened here?"

"...poisoned lipstick..."

"...airen get away..."

Throwing a soapy sponge into each of their mouths, the old woman gave them a stern look. "Wash your mouths out, and wait here, I need to talk to the son-in-law without you two getting ahead of yourselves!" Cologne made sure to lock the door from the inside, to make them less likely to have an unwelcome visitor while they were still trying to wash that off. At least it would give her some time before they came anyway.

She grabbed a few foods that were high in energy on her way out, and hurried to his new address. When she started to get close, she noticed a rather large crater in what was left of the park across the street, and her eyebrows climbed a couple of centimeters higher.

Letting herself in the building, she hopped up the stairs and knocked on their door. Receiving no answer, she knocked again, a bit harder. "If yer here ta take me back, er tell me I shouldn't a' run a way, ya can keep it ta yerself! I ain't goin'!"

"Look, Ranma, I'm not here as the matriarch, nor as Shampoo's grandmother, if you want to leave those girls disappointed, I won't force you. I am just here as a martial arts teacher, hoping to help a student."

"I'm not yer student."

"Not exactly, but that doesn't matter. I have taught you before, and I would like to teach you again, I have never had as apt a pupil, including my great-granddaughter. For now though, I only wish to talk, will you let me in now, or should I go to the window?"

"Fine." The door opened, and Ranma stepped aside to allow the ancient woman room to hop inside the small apartment. "Wha'd' ya want?"

"I am just here to talk, and to give you this." Cologne handed his several containers of food. "I don't suppose you would mind telling me about what you were working on that got you into this mess today, would you?" Ranma hesitated, looking apprehensively at the offering. "Don't worry, this meal is to help you recover your energy, nothing more."

Still hungry, he slowly started to dig in to the meal before him. "I guess not. Just havin' trouble with a new move..."

"So, where did you learn this 'new move'?"

"I didn't, not yet."

"Where did you see it?"

"In my lunch."

"What?"

Ranma went on to explain how Kasumi had been showing him fake moves from some game, in his bento, and how he had been figuring out how they could be done for real. He told her how most of them had been easy to figure out, but how he had struggled with the most recent one.

Impressed, she asked him to describe these moves, she was particularly interested in the one that was causing him trouble, though several of the others sounded remarkable as well, especially considering the source. "...and you figured these out from what exactly?"

"The pictures Kasumi-san made in my lunches... Why?"

"I have to say, I would like to see one of those lunches."

"Well, unless ya wanna talk ta Kasumi-san yerself, then I guess I'll be seein' ya at lunch tomorrow."

"That isn't important, what matters is, how are you feeling?"

"Gettin' better, guess my landing was pretty hard."

The cackling set Ranma's nerves on edge. " I'd say so, from what I heard, you got blown pretty far. Though perhaps not as far as some might like..."

"What's that supposed ta mean?"

"That depends on who you might ask, I am sure."

"I'm askin' th' only other person here..."

"I am not one of those people. I hold no real ill-will against you, Boy, I want to see you do well. Although, of course, the better you do, the more I want you for my Shampoo, but that is another story, don't worry about that for now."

"Why not? What do ya gotta gain in helpin' me?"

"It isn't about what I will gain, but what could be lost. I would do the world a great disservice if I allowed you to hurt yourself, or someone else, too badly."

"Since when?"

"From the moment I saw your potential, my boy. Even as the matriarch, I cannot teach too many of our secret techniques to an 'outsider', but as for helping you create your own, that is another story altogether." Cologne glanced toward the window, shaking her head. "I saw what you did to the park, I certainly would not like to see something like that happen again."

"I think I almost got it."

"I am certain you do, however, control is good, and blowing up like that ...well, someone could get hurt, or worse."

"That IS kind a' th' point."

"Only when it hits your proper target, and no one else."

"Yeah, like I said, I'm 'almost' there..."

"You also need to be able to control the size, power, range..."

"Okay Granny, ya made yer point... What did ya have in mind?"

"Why don't we go find some place more empty than that park is supposed to have been, and I will explain the mechanics on the way..."

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Well, that was a bit more than I had intended, and still maybe not the best stopping point, but it will have to work. XD

Tune in next time for, 'Troubled Training', or 'As the Park Burns'.


	12. Chapter 12

Standard Disclaimer: Does anyone really read this stuff?

All of the jokes in this story were intended as such, and not in any way suggested to be used as relationship advice, this is a comedy, not a self-help program. There were a number of things that certain characters did, that if you try in real life, could cause people harm, and get you in real trouble. The stunts in this fic were done by experts, with help and lots of safety equipment! In other words, 'DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!' XP

Chapter 12 - The Aftermath

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Being the good Osakan girl she was, Ukyo was tempted to go back and open her shop for the dinner rush, but she had already told her customers that she would be closed, and if there was even a chance that Ranma would be back... then she would wait it out, even if it meant waiting with ...'her'! Doing her best to remain pleasant, she tried to strike up a conversation. "Don't suppose ya'd let me wash this filthy thing? Don't really wanna put it back on after a bath..."

"Shampoo can loan qipao. Is lucky, they is one size fit all! How you say, 'free size'?"

Ukyo wanted to say all of the things her glare left out, but as weird as it might feel, she needed something clean to wear, and that WAS faster, nor did it require her waiting around in the buff. "Thanks, then, Ah guess..."

Shampoo fumbled around her closet for a moment, and pulled out a longer dress, much more conservative than her own. It was pink, to match her bow and shoes, with a light blue trim, and while it hung well below her knees, it was split on the sides, high enough to be indecent if she turned the wrong way too quickly. The short sleeves left her arms almost bare, while from the waste up, it felt tighter than her sarashi. The worst part to her was not having ANY underwear, her own having been filled with mud from being dragged around the park, and Shampoo claiming to not having any to loan her. In retrospect, that was probably for the best...

"Is finally ready?"

"How d'ya move in this thing?"

"Like sexy kitten!"

"Oh ...never mind, ready fer what?"

"For finding Ranma, yes?"

"But, yer grandmother said we should wait here..."

"Do take orders from grandmother? Shampoo no know this..."

"Well, no, but..."

"Is true, no butt, no breasts, no waist, what have offer husband?"

"Brains, understanding, okonomiyaki, an' most a' all friendship! Other 'an big boobs, what ya gotta offer?"

"Shampoo is too too sexy everywhere!"

"That won't last ferever! Yer grandmother proves that!"

"Shampoo also love all thing Ranma love. We train together, we learn together, we run tribe together, we have many too too cute baby together! Shampoo can offer four thousand year of techniques, for husband to learn! Shampoo know many recipe, no just one thing. Always bring something new and exotic to table!"

The two young women pressed their chests together as they stared into each others eyes, with a look of death. "So, is we go find Ranma, or no?"

"FINE!"

Their decision made, the two exited the building, just in time to see Cologne and Ranma hop passed the store, as they stumbled back in surprise.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

The small white duck, went completely ignored as he quacked in his cage, upset about having to listen to Shampoo and Ukyo talk about what they would do for that Lothario, Ranma! Mousse knew he had to do something, confront her, make her stop this madness, for her own good! What he could do, was not clear, it was not as if he had not tried talking to her before, perhaps if he planned his speech carefully enough, brought presents, and wore his best robes, then she would see!

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Doing their best to conceal their presences, the two teens followed from a good distance, hoping not to alert their targets. Luckily for them, by jumping in the air, Cologne and Ranma made themselves easy to spot, even with a large distance separating them.

Well passed the edge of town, they had lost sight of the other pair, and had to take to the trees themselves. After a bit of searching, they both felt the building ki, and changed directions, following it. They had a difficult time hearing, but did not dare get closer for fear of being spotted.

"Now, remember what I told you, visualize hitting your target, and let it go."

They saw the bright glow coming from Ranma's cupped hands, as it built up, getting larger as Ranma shouted. "I ...Will ...NOT ...FAAAAIL!" The 'ball' flew from his hands, striking a tree, and upsetting several squirrels who had to run as their home was disintegrated.

"Good determination, though that might be a tad bit of overkill ...especially for practice. You need to learn to control how much power you pour into them, which will allow you to fire them with less of a drain on your qi. If it completely drains you with each blast, then you can only use it as a last resort."

"I feel fine, compared ta my last one, I managed ta control it a lot better! I could throw a bunch a' those!"

Impressed, knowing how she felt after doing something similar, she might be able to throw a number of those herself, but they would wear her down before long. She wanted to push him, see what he could do. "Humor me, see if you can make them smaller, and less destructive."

"Just watch me!" The tenacious youth built up a smaller sphere, and sent it flying at a boulder, merely shattering it. Before long, he was tossing smaller ones, with each hand, almost like skipping stones over the river to show his control. They were laughing and making jokes as Cologne called out targets while Ranma tried to hit them.

Shampoo and Ukyo wanted to try themselves, but could not tear their eyes off of Ranma's demonstration, and did not wish to be noticed. Unfortunately for them, all their work masking their presence, and staying silent was for naught. "Why don't you aim for that tree over there?"

"There? But you know...?"

"Certainly, call it a test. It will be fine, I'm sure they are paying close attention."

"If you say so..." Ranma did his best to limit the power of this shot as he aimed his finger at the tree top, before firing at the base of the tree.

The moment Ranma actually fired, the pair of observers panicked and dove in opposite directions desperately trying to avoid being in the tree when it shook, barely noticing when it did not fall. They scurried around, circling the encampment and coming up behind the others, who turned and faced them.

Chuckling, Cologne stood on her cane, looking down at them. "It was high time you girls came out anyway, you've squatted in that tree long enough..."

"Grandmother know we here?"

"Of course I did, do you really think you can hide yourself from me?"

"Was hoping..."

"You are at least a hundred years too early for that!" Her granddaughter scowled as she cackled at their presumption. "Anyhow, I thought I told you to stay home!"

"You say wait to you come back, and you did, so Shampoo follow..." With a kittenish appearance, she cutely stared at her grandmother, hoping to deflect any complaints about her behavior. After all, it was for Ranma, it was always for Ranma ...well, for her BEING WITH Ranma, and in her mind, that amounted to much the same thing.

"We will talk about this later." After a stern look, the old woman turned to go. "Well, it is high time I return to the restaurant, you three have fun on the rest of your ...date." Confident that Ranma was no longer a danger to himself or others, the ancient matriarch's hopped away, her laughter echoing off through the woods, setting the three teens on edge.

"Date, what do ya mean, date?"

"Is true, was no much fun. We do much much better now, yes?"

"Huh?"

"Whatcha got in mind?"

Rubbing up on Ranma, Shampoo almost purred. "Airen show new technique, teach move to loving wife, yes?"

A bit uncomfortable by the Chinese woman's actions, Ranma stammered a bit. "I, I guess, but, ya saw already, didn't ya?"

"No was good view!"

"Yeah, we're not like ya Ranchan, we can't learn a move jus' by seein' it once."

"Well, I gotta get somethin' ta eat, 'fore I can do too much more a' that."

Ukyo grimaced at herself for leaving her portable grill in her other outfit, and suggested they go find somewhere else to get something for him.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Leaving the food court, Ranma managed to stretch before being glomped on both sides, feeling much better. He felt so good, that he failed to noticed the glares he got for absentmindedly stating what was on his mind, though that had never stopped him before... "Oh man, I love some Korean barbecue!"

Annoyed, Shampoo silently vowed to learn how to prepare the foreign dish, while Ukyo tried to think of ways to make an okonomiyaki version. They barely noticed when Ranma started into his explanation of controlling ki. "Um, were ya sayin' somethin', Ranchan?"

"Why was no paying attention to Ranma?"

The smug look on her face dropped when Ranma asked, "Then maybe you can explain it ta Ucchan... Ya probably got most a' this from yer granny already anyway ...right?"

"Um, why Shampoo want explain to that one? Is own fault for ignore husband! Yes, that it!"

Ukyo had a suspicion, and went with her gut. "And here Ah thought ya'd wanna show how much better ya are..."

"OKAY! Shampoo admit, was too too busy thinking of food to make for husband, no did hear!"

"Ah knew it! Try ta make meh look bad, will ya?"

"No need try..."

Seeing them apparently fighting over their date, the barker thought she could drum up some business for her place of employment. "Hey you two, have I got just the thing for you, not only a romantic date spot, but one you can use to compete to see who is better! You are definitely both dressed for a date anyway, and what is better than better than a comfortable room, where you can be alone?" She remembered the last competitive pair like them they had, there was a mess to clean, but they ended up competing for hours, and ordering many drinks. They made a small fortune!

"We is listen!"

"Whatcha sellin'?"

"I am giving away coupons for a free hour of karaoke, at Nosebetsu Gakutou Ryuu Ya, or as some call it, The Anysing Goes Musical Arts Club. We have-."

Ukyo cut the woman off, hearing something that excited her. "Didja say free? What's th' catch?"

"Did say, 'compete', what mean?"

Seeing her opportunity, Ukyo assumed she would have an easy time. After all, how could her hated rival do well in a karaoke competition, when she could barely speak the language, and did not even seem to know what it was? It was in the bag! "Oh yeah!"

"It is easy, honored customer, you sing along with the musical selection of your choosing, the words will appear on the screen, all you have to do is read along. As our name suggests, we have almost any song you could think of! In fact, we have the largest collection of music in the nation, perhaps even THE WORLD! We even have several language selections for the subtitles! I am sure you can find something that suits you."

Shampoo smiled, if her rival wanted a singing contest, she would not back down! Her voice was one of the many blessings her ancestors had given her, that she had honed well, and her confidence was high. "No is need."

"D'ja wanna make it interestin' then?"

"If is for Ranma, Shampoo always ready!"

Ukyo was about to retort, when Ranma uncharacteristically cut her off. "I don't think ya should do that, Ucchan."

"What?" Ukyo could not decide if he was worried for her, or just had no faith in her.

The hurt look she had flashed him, combined with the lull from being full, set Ranma off his guard. "No! I mean, wait! It's just, oh fine. ...It ain't like yer gonna listen anyway, do what ya want..."

She was shaken, but chose to assume he was just worried for her. "Fine then, winner gets Ranchan!" Taking his warning into consideration, she amended it. "...fer a date, next weekend!"

"Fine... Is good enough." Shampoo was a bit hurt by Ranma's warning, she had hoped he would have kept quiet, and let her have an easy win, but one of the things she loved about him was his honor. She assumed he would not feel right if it had not been a fair contest, though it did not lessen the sharp pain in her chest when he interjected, and she had to mumble under her breath. "Still, no is right for husband to interfere in fight between womans."

"Er, I, but ...damnit! Can't I ever say th' right thing?"

Nodding to the very vocal women, clinging to his arms, the street barker grinned and winked at the boy. "It seems like you have to be doing SOMETHING right!"

"Ya wouldn't understand..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"...on okonomiyaki, on okonomiyaki, I wrote a love letter!" She looked quite cute as she blushed and thanked them for listening before winking. "Ookini! Ranchan, I did it!" Ukyo was very pleased with herself, and her score, one of her personal bests! How could he have doubted her?

"I just want ta know how they even HAD that song!"

"Is true, place really do has every song! Then Shampoo sing this one!" Shampoo got up, taking the microphone from Ukyo, and straightening her dress before blowing a kiss to Ranma, winking herself. A normal boy might have ogled at the way her body moved in the tight silk, though the fact that Ranma avoided even looking at her, made her pout quite cutely.

"Now that song I understand, since Nabiki-."

"Hush, is Shampoo turn..." The adorable warrior got a forlorn look upon her face as she stared off into space and began her song. "From the first moment that we met, long ago... This too too cute girl, Shampoo become... I love you, I love you, from bottom of my heart... Lasting pledge I make to you... I say, I say, I said to you ...hear everything."

Ukyo's previous confidence had been shattered. Who knew Shampoo's sing-song voice meant she could literally sing, and with better grammar than usual no less? Then you had the level of devotion in her lyrics, while all she could do was say she forgave him for dumping her! 'Aho! Aho! Aho! What ta do? Ah don't know that many love songs, Ah posed as a boy, it would a' looked bad!' Then she thought of a way to distract him from both of their performances, she just had to wait for this song to end...

"...I love you, I love you, and no one but you. Wo ai ni!" She had brought herself to tears with her own song, though Ranma looked reasonably uninterested, and Ukyo was clearly upset in a completely different way. "May no give Shampoo attention, but no ignore score!" It was true, her name even appeared on the leader board as one of the top rankings for the week.

Acting completely oblivious to her rival's score, even if it did dwarf hers by more than twenty points, set her grand plan in motion. "Now it's yer turn, Ranchan! Ya can't let us girls do all th' work!"

"Nah, that's all right, I can do without turnin' inta a girl again..."

"Wasn't askin' ya to, Ah wanna hear yer powerful, masculine voice, an' Ah'm sure 'Shampoo do too'! Isn't that right?"

Shampoo was still annoyed about her steamy love song being given the cold-shoulder, although she almost never got to hear Ranma sing as a boy! "Aiyaaa! Ranma sing too too sexy love song to Shampoo! Mercenary think girl-type Ranma sell more, but Shampoo much rather hear boy-type Ranma sing!"

Ukyo's face dropped along with her mood. "Ya already heard...? Ya used ta sing ...ta-geth-er?"

"Yappapaa!"

"Huh? Oh yeah, Nabiki set it up, ya know how it is... Gotta pay off my debt, an' help keep food on th' table somehow. We did th' starvin' thing enough times, so when Nabiki came with th' idea, seemed like an easy way ta help... How'd ya get roped inta it anyway?"

"Say Shampoo can help Ranma, and get to spend time together looking sexy, make too too sweet pot!" Taking a second to come back to her senses, she got serious for a moment. "If Ranma ever need, Shampoo always there! Just like with stupid Pig-Boy, Shampoo always help Husband!" Another song began to play in the background, and she took full advantage of it. "Whenever need, Shampoo be there. Shampoo be there protect you, with selfish love that still respect you! Just call name, Shampoo be there-!"

"Oh knock it off, ya already got yer name up there, it's Ranchan's turn!"

"I never agreed ta nuthin'!"

"Aaaww, come on, Ranchan, Ah nevah gotta hear ya sing b'fore ... an' apparently Ah'm th' only one..."

Shampoo knew better than to try and shove the microphone into Ranma's hand, she kept it in her right hand, and held onto Ranma with her left. "Yes, Shampoo love hear Ranma sing!"

Taking the hint, Ukyo grabbed a hold of Ranma's other arm, and joined her rival in holding the microphone for him.

"I ain't gotta choice here, do I?"

"Not really..."

"Fine..." Thanks to his time in Nabiki's 'Girl Group', he knew more love songs than Ukyo, however almost NONE that he felt comfortable about singing, especially as a guy! Thinking for a moment, Ranma reached over and made his selection with his foot and the music started to play. He hoped he would not get beaten TOO badly for this one. "The twilight colors your cheeks a madder reddish color, and before it is replaced by the starry sky, I will open my heart to you. It will take all of my courage, to put it into words! A man should not leave things that way, as a man, I believe in that tenderness. I've loved you, from the first day we met, you and only you."

Luckily, his crooning had his nominal dates swooning, both of them lost in their fantasy-land, unable to hear the details from the rest of the loving song that Ranma was singing to them! Part of that could be blamed on the fact that his voice did not lose the sweet, lilting quality, even as he slipped into verses, such as explaining that, "Tonight is April Fools, that was stupid, it's a lie..."

He had been doing his best to ignore everything other than his performance, and was quite surprised to find his shirt had been removed, he assumed sometimes before his companions had collapsed, a small pool of drool forming near their mouths. "Oi!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Managing to recover, they were able to leave within the designated hour, and were looking for something else to do on their date, having long forgotten their goal of learning the new technique. They were both still thrilled with being able to spend this much time, this close to Ranma, without him pushing them away or getting clobbered or chased off. The tentative peace lasting only as long as neither pushed the other too far, but so long as one did not object too strongly to the other's presence, they managed to grin and bare it. They had never been so close to their goal as they had by working together, loathe to admit it as they were.

Neither of them truly expected it to last, but for as long as the Tendo deal remained broken, and neither of them seeming to have any interest in patching things up, they were going to do everything in their power to show how much better suited they were for him, compared to the situation to which he had grown accustomed. They might not like their rival, but at least neither of them had the same advantages that Akane had held over them, they were on mostly equal footing. It was one of the only other things that made their partnership tolerable to them. At least they did not have to also share time with-...

"Ohohohohoh!"

The laugh sent chills down the spines of all three of the teens, as well as almost every other person in the vicinity, though only Shampoo managed to react. Before being spotted, she pulled them into the nearest crowed building. An arcade, as it turns out, was one of the last places Kodachi Kuno had any interest in going on most days, and she bounded passed, never noticing the trio.

They, on the other hand, did notice something. A sign on a familiar looking machine that none of them had seen before, 'Street Fighter Two: The New Challengers', and they made a bee-line straight for it. Shampoo winked, and asked if they would mind if she and her friends played. The boys could not get out of her way fast enough, many even offered to pay for her games just to keep her close enough to ogle.

"Ya want me ta make um stop?"

Shampoo blushed, happy that Ranma felt protective of her. "Is okay, can look, if pay for us both, but only Ranma can touch!" She raised up on her toes on one foot, and leaned in to peck Ranma on the cheek, while lifting her other leg. Not to be out done, Ukyo did her best to match the motion, managing not to embarrass herself in the tight dress. Several of the boys were too jealous and went to look for an other game, while many were thrilled to even be able to watch the scantily clad teen bounce as she played!

The 'threat' passed, Ranma tried to ignore the creepy feelings he was getting from every direction, and focused on the machine that had caught his dates' attention. "Hey, I recognize that! So, this's where Kasumi-san got those ideas..."

"Yes, Shampoo tell Airen this."

"Yeah Ranchan, ya even got this game at home, we played it there. Well, it's th' older version, but still."

"Really?"

"Is true."

He had played a couple of games before, but had never really been able to get into it, mostly due to the cost. At one hundred yen a game, he would rather buy food, but if he could learn new moves from it, that was another story! "Well then, ya mind showin' me how it works?"

As one they responded. "Happy to!"

"Shampoo Chun Li, who play?"

"Ryu reminds meh th' most a' Ranchan, so that's who Ah play!"

Shampoo did not even try to hide her mirth. "Figures, would play boy!"

"If ya'd prefer ta stare at a girl while ya play, that's YER business, not mine!"

Their glare lasted only a moment, before Shampoo broke the silence. "We do this, or no?"

"Can't wait!" They each took a coin that had been lined up on the machine, and readied to play.

At first they were good about showing Ranma how the moves worked, but before the first round had ended, they had forgotten all about it, and were fighting in earnest. Luckily for Ranma, the special moves for all four of the new characters were posted on the sides, and he was able to study them. He noticed a striking similarity between them, and the few that he had been shown. Between them he saw five distinct patterns, with variations on direction and button combinations. The challenge seemed to lie in which characters had a move for each, as they seemed limited to about three per person. Even with the various directional options, he did not figure it would take too long to test out each character, that was to say ...if he were allowed to play.

The excitement felt by the two competitors was matched by most of the onlookers, some of whom even noticed there was a game being played. Shampoo had such an easy time beating her rival on their last match, she was surprised to see her holding her own so well this time. With each match putting the challenge back in challenger, they had to really give it their all, and when Shampoo finally imitated Chun Li's winning 'pose', to mock Ukyo's slip, several of the male teens passed out, blood leaking from their noses.

"This game needs more female fighters, maybe we would see things like this more often!"

"I'd buy THAT for a hundred yen!"

"Female gamers? That'll never happen, this'll never be more than a fluke!"

"I hope not, but if so, what a fluke it is!"

"Girls who like games? Wouldn't THAT be nice?"

"Well, I for one, won't be holding MY breath! You can cling to a pipe dream if you want, even if it does change, it won't be soon enough to do you any good, you'll STILL die a virgin!"

The laughter of their friends could be heard over the loud sounds of the machines echoing all around them. "Oh, like YOU are going to do any better?"

"No, but I accepted my fate as the price I paid for being an otaku."

"...and a wizard!"

"Exactly! Then they will be sorry!"

"That's why you don't trust anyone over thirty!"

"I don't want to wait that long! Thirty is sooo oooold!"

"Don't say that around my grandmother! 'Obaa is the new oba!' Then, SMACK!"

"Maybe, but even if 'oba' is the new 'onee', that's still pretty old!"

"Oh come on, it's not THAT old..."

"Just cause you gotta thing for older women..."

"Only your mom!"

"Eeeew!"

"Shut you up! Hey, where'd that guy go?"

"I don't know, got tired of not being able to play and went outside maybe?"

"Seems that way..."

Wiping the sweat off of his brow, one of the teens who had given up his week's worth of allowances, turned to his friend and sighed. "Best money I ever spent, know what I mean?"

"You know it! Who knew they would even be that good too, not just good looking!"

"Could watch that forever!"

Laughing, his buddy slugged him in the shoulder. "That's all you'll ever get to do, watch!"

"Not like you'll ever get anyone that hot either, not an otaku like you!"

"That's what you think, I'm gonna make my own game one day, then I will be rich, then just you watch out!"

"Oh yeah, just loook out red light district! You couldn't even rent anyone that hot if you had all the money in the world!" Laughing, he dodged another punch. "Oh come on, I got some pachinko coupons, let's see if we can win some snacks while we wait for our ride!"

"Good idea!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ranma had gotten tired of the repetition of their battles, they both stuck to the same characters, and there was very little variety in their battles. It was no wonder they tended to tie more often than not. In some ways, it was similar to watching his father and Soun playing shoji, just waiting for the other to make a 'mistake'. It had grown quite boring to him, he did not understand why so many guys were that into watching their battle, he had seen more exciting fights over bread... Maybe that was a bad example.

It was not as if he was opposed to waiting for one's opponent to make a mistake, it was a sound strategy after all, but something about their fights struck him more like beating one's head against a brick wall. He was not feeling the creativity, as if they were robots, and all too predictable in his opinion. Similar to their normal fights, both of them perfectly countered the other, instead of taking a risk and doing something different, which kept them from really improving and in a stalemate most of the time. Perhaps when they calmed down a bit, they would let him test his theory...

He was getting tired of being followed and hoping he could cut to the chase, he decided to call out to his familiar tail. "Sasuke, what'd ya want this time?"

"You could tell I was here?"

"Well, ya don't hide yer presence much better than ya fight, so yeah..."

"I don't?" The miniature manservant was disappointed, he had always thought stealth was his best skill!

"Oh, it might be good enough ta fool someone who ain't payin' attention, er something, but I can always tell when yer there." Ranma unknowingly exaggerated. "'Cause ya ain't exactly a threat, I usually ignore ya, but I ain't in th' mood, so like I said, what's Kodachi want ya ta do this time?"

"Well, you know, the usual, mostly. 'Find out why my Ranma-sama, is going out with those other girls, when I am available...' Well, I guess that's a bit different than normal, since you don't normally go out with any of them..."

"Well, Hinako-sensei and Kasumi-san made me promise, I gotta give 'em a fair shake. Do stuff like a normal guy..."

Sasuke was not prone to brilliance, but he was able to tell a good idea when he had one, the problem was, he was unable to know a bad idea when he saw one... "Wouldn't that include the mistress as well?"

"I don't 'think' so..."

"Why not? What happened to giving them all a fair shake? Don't most normal guys want a gymnast?"

"I think it's perfectly fair, yer mistress is crazy, an' poisoned me ...more than once!"

"It is only out of desperation, and according to my information, others have too, including Tendo-sama, on many occasions."

That gave the pigtailed martial artist pause. "Well, that's truuuue... but-"

"Eccentric, yes, but the mistress cares for you at least as much as these others! Ranma-sama, I know it is not my place to say this, but if what you say is true, then do you not owe it to yourself to find out for sure? Those two were just never shown how to interact well with others, surely you can understand that! You met their father, who had not been around for three years, which helped actually, and their mother has not been seen in far longer ...I do my best!" Sasuke was almost in tears as he threw himself to the ground, clutching the taller man's legs. "Please, do it for me, you do not know what I am put through over this!"

"You are not exactly making yer case here..."

"I'll do anything you ask! I will even becomes your manservant, if that is what you require! What can I do?"

"Hey! Get off a' me! I get it! Just do what ya' can ta keep Kuno off a' my- er, th' 'pig-tailed girl' ...and I guess Akane too, an' we got a deal ...I guess."

"Well, the master is not going to be fit to chase anyone, anytime soon, but after that, I am not sure what I can do..."

"Okay, how about ya er Kodachi, destroy all a' th' pictures a' us, er, THEM, then...? Maybe replace 'em with that cheerleader, th' one that actually likes th' jerk!"

"The master is sure to be angry..." The ninja was torn between his loyalty between his two masters, and was unsure

"Come on, ain't it better ta have th' guy focus on someone who wants ta be there? Healthier anyway..."

"Well, you make a good point... Especially in light of the recent ...accident."

"Exactly, maybe ya can convince th' moron that Mariko's th' one that's supposed be there... Never know, the girl might even pose for them, if you say what you are doing... Save ya buyin' 'em from Nabiki!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Nabiki sneezed, and wondered who she needed to charge for thinking about her, though how much it would cost them depended on how dirty those thoughts were...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

The creepy feeling grew stronger the closer gender-bent martial artist got to where an even larger crowd of boys had gathered to watch the two beautiful maidens, locked in their ugly battle. Having the curse activated on the way back did nothing for the mood, though it did attract the attention of some of the onlookers. Pushing through the crowd, Ranma finally made it back to the most popular game in the arcade that day. "Ya finally ready ta let me play too?"

"Ranma! Did see Shampoo win last match?"

"Only cause ya cheated! Ah won th' ones 'afore that!"

"No is true!"

"Were you watching the fight?"

"Not me..."

"Well this time, I'M playin' th' winner!"

It quickly dawned on them that they had just spent most of an hour fighting with each other while they were on a date with Ranma, and were 'supposed' to be showing HIM how to play!

"Come on, Ranchan, Ah'll show ya how ta play!"

"No, is Shampoo what show!"

"Ain't ya shown enough already?" Ranma looked them over with an incredulous tone of voice.

Their audience mostly shouted as one. "NO!"

"Yer not helping! Ain't th' way ta attract more women ta join ya neither!"

"If we were any good with gorgeous girls like you, we would be on dates, not here!"

"I wouldn't!"

"Well, of course not YOU, we ALL know that! You made it perfectly clear ...to ALL of us!"

"Hey! At least I am TRYING to get a date, that's more than I can say for any of you boys... Nothing ventured, nothing gained, sometimes you just have to go for it!" Slowly walking over, the effeminate teen placed his hand on the short red-head's shoulder. "Especially you, Honey. These girls have been fighting over you all day."

"Longer 'an that..."

"No know half of..."

"What, how'd ya know that?"

"I have been watching you since you three walked in here, of course. It's rare to see anyone as well built as you in here, although I liked your look better before."

"How'd ya know that?"

"Oh, I can tell, believe me, even if I would like to know how you did the trick with your height..."

"Magic..."

"Oh, I'll just bet... Anyhow, you should treat these lovelies with more respect, or they won't stick with you... Or is it that you'd rather have a real man like me? Because you, Honey, are just ...my ...type!" Ranma got more nervous, the closer the other boy got to him.

"Yeah but, 'anything male' is YOUR type!"

"My standards might be low, but even I have preferences!"

"But, isn't that a girl, why are YOU interested?"

"Don't you worry your pretty little head about it, Dahling!"

Ukyo listened carefully, having wondered much the same thing herself on some days...

"NO! ...I don't! ...No!"

"You don't know if you like men more than women?"

"No, I mean, but..."

"You prefer butts?"

"What? I don't..."

The Chinese woman rubbed herself suggestively upon the cursed body of her 'husband'. "Is okay, Shampoo have pert butt, let Airen take if want." Several more of the boys fainted from blood loss, eyes still locked on the buxom foreigner's erotic display.

"Ranchan, ya prefer meh dressed as a boy, zat it?"

"NO! Well, I don't really care how ya dress, that's not my place ta say... ya know."

"But it IS, Ranchan, yer mah boyfriend, an' Ah want ya ta like th' way Ah look!"

"Hey, I just want ya ta be comfortable, an' able ta move, what else matters?"

"Mah Ranchan thinkin' Ah look good, that's what!" The three teenagers leaned in closer to Ranma by the second, making him increasingly nervous, especially as the crowd chanted, 'Kiss', hoping for more. The panicking martial artist jumped straight up, and tried to bolt! "Oh no ya don't, Sugar!"

"Aiyaaa! Husband no get away that way!"

"Husband, isn't that a girl?"

"Looks like it to me..."

The audience collectively groaned as the girls each grabbed one of Ranma's ankles, causing him to slam, face first into the ground! "OOooooh That HAD to hurt!"

"No get to run from Shampoo this time..."

"Weren't they with that guy from before?"

"That's what I thought?"

"Now I AM confused!"

"Who cares? Just watch the show, maybe we will get to see more. Cat-fight!" The rest of the boys followed suit and altered their chant, hoping that their clothing would 'malfunction' during the scuffle they expected to see. They were somewhat disappointed...

The hurt looks staring at Ranma matched the one in the cursed boy's face, cutting off any protest that had been about to come out. "Oi! I-... I-... I-..."

"Why Airen run from Shampoo when only want make happy?"

"While Ah'd rather ya ran ta meh, Ah gotta say, it's pretty strange, Ranchan..."

"But, I..."

"Look 'round." She pointed around the room to all of the lustful glares the three of them were receiving. "See, other boys think Shampoo is too too sexy, even want to look at pancake-girl, why no is Ranma?"

"Hey!"

"Those perverts would probably even ogle me!" Ranma pointed around the room, to the series of boys, some of whom had the decency to look offended, most of the others were nodding vigorously in agreement.

"Should hope so, Ranma is too too sexy in both form!"

"I second that one, even with this whole thing you have going in here..." He drew circles around Ranma's cursed body with his finger.

"What, ya want me ta be perverted, like them?"

"HEY! It's normal!"

"No it ain't!"

"Yer no better 'en the guys in my class, all ya can do is stare and talk about girls!"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Yeah?"

"It's perverted!"

"Where have you been?"

"Well, it IS a little rude..."

"A little?"

Ignoring the peanut gallery, the hopeful woman continued her plea. "Husband, no matter what was told, no is bad if do with ones what is happy to do too! Shampoo is dutiful, loving wife, is too too happy to do whatever husband want do!"

"That don't make it right!"

"Yes, yes do! Wife want know husband think is beautiful!"

"But, I..."

"Don't cha think we look good, Ranchan?"

"We do!"

"Well, I mean, yeah, but..."

"Yes, you should always make sure to tell your girlfriends how beautiful they look."

"That's not exactly-."

"What willing peoples do together is right, and Shampoo too too willing do everything with Ranma!" Looking around the room at all of the drooling faces, she amended her statement to the disappointment of the hopeful boys watching them. "...and ONLY Ranma!"

Blushing profusely, Ukyo allowed Shampoo to push her further than she would have been willing to go otherwise. "Meh too! Ah'm okay with anythin', 's long 's it's with ya, Ranchan!"

"Me three!"

"You'd do anything with almost anyone!"

"Not 'anyone'! I have standards ...however low they might be!"

"You said that already!"

"Well, this IS the first time I ever saw you going after a girl, what gives?"

"Wouldn't YOU like to know?"

"Not really, I just like messing with you..."

"Don't ruin this for me!"

"It was ruined the moment you tried to get involved!"

"Just because you are the only guy I turned down in here, you don't have to get all jealous, Honey!"

The other boy's distraction helped Ranma recover his senses somewhat, and brought him back to the present. "Anything, huh?" Seeing both of them nod, Ranma smiled. "So, how about letting me play?"

Ukyo's face reddened as her imagination went wild, trying to think of what type of 'play' he meant. "Here? Now?"

"What Airen mean?"

"That fighting game?"

"Oooooh!"

Not being regulars to the arcade, none of them realized how strange it was to not have had someone else start playing the game while they had been preoccupied, but the boys watching them would not allow anyone else to get close. They turned back to their machine, and almost immediately, the two girls started fighting over who would get to play with Ranma first. Ranma wanted to avoid another fight, and tried to go with a more neutral option... "Shouldn't I play against the computer?"

"Game too too easy, only person give real challenge!"

"Well, maybe, but I saw ya play, an' perfectly symmetrical violence never really solved anything..."

"I know a guy who would disagree with you..." The stares he received from the crowd caused him to feel embarrassed about his interruption. "Well, it sure is fun to watch though..."

"Yeah well, th' other reason ta play against a real person is they can give ya a moment ta get used ta it 'afore ya start fightin'." Ukyo tried to encourage him to play with them.

Ranma deposited one of the coins. "That's 'kay, think I'll take my chances, just tell me what ta do..."

"Press 'start' for th' side yer on, an' then choose th' character ya wanna play."

"Who throws the vacuum blades?"

"The what?"

"Nobody has weapons..."

"What do they look like?"

"I dunno, it's like a throwing blade, like a Frisbee, with a hole in the center..."

"Oh, the Sonic Boom, that's Guile, the blond guy in military fatigues. The new guy, Dee Jay, has a similar one too though."

"Thanks. Kasumi-san never told me what that one was called..."

"No problem, Babe! But how do you know the move, if you don't know who does it?" He shrunk back from the glare he received from everyone, including Ranma, making him want to run, but his feet would not move, and his eyes remained locked on the three curvy young women in front of them.

"I've never seen the game before... I just like doing that move."

"Oh, well, I guess that makes sense ...wait, WHAT?"

"How does THAT make sense?"

"Don't sweat the small stuff..."

"What's 'small' about that?"

"Shut it and watch, you fool! The crazy ones are better in bed!"

"How would YOU know?"

With a few pointers, Ranma quickly improved, and after losing with several characters, finally felt ready for a live challenger. While many of the moves were done the same way, the way they had to be used was different for many of them, and required a bit of adjustment to play. There was more strategy to it than the young warrior had previously thought.

Once they had given initial instructions, Ranma felt at home feeling things out, and they got to work playing rock-paper-scissors, to decide who got to play first once Ranma was ready ...they tied every time. Seeing the frustration on Ranma's face, Shampoo decided to go in a different direction and began acting as seductively as she had been able as she turned to the crowd. "You mens, pick who more sexy and get play next. Is Shampoo, or Pancake-girl?" She indicated each of them as she said their 'names'.

They exploded in excited commotion as most of the audience shouted out their preferences. Unfortunately for her, the other players' tastes were equally divided between them, and were no help at all, there was only one left who had not voted. "It looks like it falls to me to break the tie."

"All right, Sugar, what cha say?"

"Yeah, who pick?"

"Me!"

"No can do!"

"But I got an odd number, you both got even numbers..."

"Oh well, Ah guess that makes sense..."

Shampoo was counting on her fingers, and ticking things off in her head... "Hey! Wait minute..."

"Too late!" Taking one of the coins, he sauntered up to the machine, and took up the 'player two' position. "So, people call me 'Ban', who do you like? Me, I'll try ...anyone."

The insinuation was completely lost on Ranma, who just considered the choices. "Yeah, I'm working my way through th' list too..."

"Oh, I will just bet you are..."

"Huh? Well, maybe I'll try this guy with the warrior's braid."

"The pretty boy? Then I guess I will do the same."

"Cheat code work on these machine too?"

"Cheat code?"

"Along with the new moves and new characters, this version allows for mirror matches, the old ones needed a cheat code to make that happen."

"Aiyaa! Outfit different color!"

"New moves?"

"Well, not everyone got them, but most of them got at least one new move."

The chatter ceased as the fight began, many watching Ranma's cursed body, the rest focused on the large screen above the game, for once... In the first round, Ban surprised Ranma by climbing on the cage wall, but the trick did not work in the second round, and was able to turn the tables on him. By the third round, Ranma felt rather confident with the character, and was ready to move on.

Shampoo forced her way in as the next player, and chose her usual Chun Li, and Ranma did the same. "Is pink! Shampoo never glad be second player before!"

"You can choose by selecting your character with an attack button instead of the player select button."

"What I don't understand, is why the hair covers were white when the rest of the outfit was blue..."

"White to show mourning, for dead father." Turning back to the machine, and before Ranma had even a chance to react, Shampoo launched into a Spinning Bird Kick, catching her love off guard, and gaining the first strike bonus. However, she had little idea how to react when soon after, she saw Ranma throw a Kikoken at her. "What that? How do that?"

"Like this, Kikoken!" Ranma smiled as Shampoo had to jump over the blast. "Back, forward, punch, like so many others. You play this one all the time, how'd ya not know this?"

"Is new...?"

"But ya played it all day?"

"Added new character, no expect..." Seeing the red-head stick out a tongue and wink, make her blood pump, and Shampoo started to take things more seriously.

They degenerated into launching ki blasts at each other for the next round, before Ranma got tired of it, jumped back, bounced off of the wall, and landed behind her, kicking as fast as possible. "HA! Chestnuts Kicked Out of an Open Fire!"

Ukyo had to wipe a tear from her cheek, while trying to suppress her laughter. "Ya got beat, by yer favorite character! That's mah Ranchan!"

"No belong to Kote-girl, and no is fair! Was new move, no know!"

"Ya seemed ta have picked it up quick enough..."

"Well, Shampoo still is strongest 'womans' in world! Now, take turn, see how do. Airen, show this one no mercy!"

Ranma was having a bit of trouble, the ranged attack was not working for him like the others, and yet, Ukyo had been throwing them at him, as well as several other moves that he was having a bit of trouble deciphering, when his had slipped a bit when trying to throw one and it worked! Rather than straight, he needed to curve down.

Ukyo could not believe her eyes when Ranma's Hadoken was larger, and red, but when it set her on fire, that was when she started to worry. "Ranchan, why's ya Hadoken doin' that?"

"'Cause I'm Ranma! Ha, ha, ha! But why ya askin' me? I never played before today."

"But whatcha do?"

"Start at the back, like all th' others, but swing down instead a' straight forward." He considered asking about the uppercut, but wanted to figure it out on his own, then he saw the guide for the new character, Fei Long, and it reminded him of a few things he had not tried... The Shakunetsu Hadoken had given him a bit of an edge, but Ukyo knew the others, and had more experience, while Ranma was trying things that did not work, and she still dominated the first round, and most of the second. Surprising her with a Shoryuken, followed up by a 'Whirlwind' kick, Ranma managed to eke out a win, and mostly dominate the third round.

The boys continued to enjoy the show as the three beautiful 'women' fought each other and bounced around on their coin, while Ranma practiced with the rest of the cast of characters. Eventually the hundred yen coins ran out, and they decided it was time to take their date elsewhere.

"Ranchan, ya ready ta teach us that move now?"

"Shampoo want learn real Hadoken!"

"Well, might wanna call it somethin' else, but I guess so..."

"Wait! What do you mean, 'real Hadoken'? You can do that, for real?"

"Of course, husband best fighter around!"

"Well, I mean, I just got it ta work, wouldn't say I got it mastered er nuthin'..."

"No sell self short, Airen."

"Most a' it, some I ain't got yet, some I think ain't possible... exactly, and I ain't no monster, so I ain't chewin' on nobody!"

Shampoo's cute pout sent chills down several boys' spines, one fainted, and two others got nosebleeds. "Not even if ask?"

"Huh?"

"Seriously? Can you show us?"

"Please?"

"I wish I could do that!"

"That would be so cool!"

"Anyone can, just takes trainin'."

"What kind of training?"

"Th' art, a' course..."

"What art?"

"THE art, th' Ranma Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts!"

Ukyo leaned in to whisper to her friend. "Startin' yer own school now, Ranchan?"

"Not like I can really claim th' old man's school like this... 'Sides, I think I got enough a' my own techniques now." Ranma's grin was infectious, and Ukyo could not help but to match it.

"Can you teach us?"

That caught Ranma off guard. "I er, well, maybe, but I don't think I got time fer that these days... Not with the people I'm already trainin'..."

"Yer trainin' people? Who?"

"Well, there's Kasumi-san, Hinako-sensei, and now you two..."

"Ranma train with Shampoo again? Ooooooo! So happy!"

"Whatcha mean, 'again'?"

"What think? Husband train with wife many time."

"Ranchan! Why'd ya nevah train with me?"

"Ya never asked... Ya did go on that one trainin' trip with us..."

"Is it that easy?"

"If ya ain't workin', don't wanna make ya close shop!"

"Ranchan, Ah'd close it down fer good, if it meant bein' with ya!"

"But, it's important ta ya, I mean, I thought 'okonomiyaki was yer life'." Ranma tried to use his lopsided smile to lighten to mood ...it did not work.

"It was, but ya came back inta mah life, an' yer more important than some dumb shop!"

"It's not 'dumb'! I never see ya as happy as when yer workin' there!"

"Ah could be just as happy workin' out a' yatti again, er just a kitchen fer our family, if that's what it'd take fer us ta be tagether!"

"I, but, ya don't, I mean, it's not, I don't..."

Shampoo wanted to argue that it did not matter what the chef did, there was no way she was going to get Ranma from her, but even she could tell that would upset Ranma, and hurt her chances.

"Doesn't anyone care that that's a girl?"

"Shut up, you are ruining the moment!"

"I'd never want ya ta give up somethin' like that, not fer me, not fer nobody! How could I be happy if I took th' think ya love more than anythin', like if someone took the art from me?"

"But ya can't, yer that thing fer meh! Okonomiyaki's second!"

"Shampoo choose Ranma only! Choose Ranma over village. Choose Ranma over Great-grandmother. Choose Ranma over training. Choose Ranma over everything!"

"Hey, Ah did too! Ah even gave up mah femininity!"

"Was too too bad choice! Was no much womanly to begin with, should no give up what little have."

"Better 'en bein' a country bumpkin!"

A 'Shampoo fan' did his best impersonation of her 'accent'. "But ain't that an Osakan dialect ya got there? Why don't ya tell us a joke then?"

"Shut up, you! ...and it's Kansai. How about this fer a joke, ya ever been beat up by a girl in a dress?"

The boy cringed, and shrank back, responding in a meek voice. "...Yes, Goshujin-sama."

"But I thought THAT girl was going to give us a martial arts demonstration!" The growing mob cheered their agreement.

"I'm a GUY, damn it..."

"Don't look like it..."

"No kiddin'!"

"Look, ya wanna see, er not?"

The gathering of boys practically carried the trio out of the arcade, and to the nearest empty lot where Ranma started to call forth every bit of showmanship gained from years of begging for coin in the streets. "So now, what was it ya wanted ta see?"

Ranma listened as the boys started shouting out various names of moves, pretending to only hear the easiest ones first, and slowly building up in difficulty. After showing off the Chestnut Fist, and Lightning Kick, and explaining the impracticality of some of the moves, such as the Whirlwind Kick, Ranma demonstrated them anyway. Spinning fast enough to actually cause lift, was enough to make one quite dizzy, even with practice and keeping a 'spot', but using the speed training, they could spin on their hands and make the move effective enough in the right situations.

"But what about the ki attacks?" The crowd started chanting 'Ha Do Ken!'

Seeing the kettle was steaming, Ranma signaled for one of them to bring it over. "A' course, a' course, but first, fer my next trick ...th' hot water."

His audience was awed by the change, and wanted to learn that trick, one boy began taking notes, and getting ideas for a manga where ninja could use their techniques to change genders as well as other things, being the first time he had seen any advanced practitioner of the art, he made many mistakes.

"For th' next move, I'll use th' vacuum blades from Guile er Dee Jay, ta cut down that tree over there. Make sure ya keep clear, so as Guile would say ...'Sonic BOOM'!" The arcs of air pressure flew across the field slicing a tree into three separate pieces of varying sizes.

The 'Oooo's and 'Ah's from the people watching gave Ranma's pride a boost, and improved his mood considerably, just loving the positive attention. Shampoo and Ukyo both noticed this, and planned to respectively ask Kasumi and Hinako about it later.

Concentrating, Ranma focused on the top of the tree that he had recently cut down as he let the power build up in his hands, determined not to pour too much of himself into it, and let it fly. "HADOKEN!" The red sphere flew from his hands, and crashed into the leaves and branches, causing the whole thing to go up is a puff of smoke, leaving everything else unharmed.

The amazed gasps from the growing group of onlookers, spurned Ranma on causing his years of habit to kick in, and he passed around a plate as he took a bow. Just at that moment, he heard a familiar voice.

"RANMA SAOTOME, PREPARE TO DIE!"

Ranma dodged just before the bamboo umbrella came down upon his head. Ryoga's attacks were going wild, causing a lot of collateral damage, and coming dangerously close to some of their audience. "Now ya'll all wanna get back fer our last demonstration as Shampoo and Ucchan will collect th' plate. Ya might wanna find somethin' ta hold onta..." Leading the lost boy into the spiral, Ranma waited until they were far enough away from the innocent people before unleashing his uppercut. "SHORYUKEN!"

The relatively small tornado carried Ryoga out of the park, and over the horizon, to the applause of the audience. "Thank ya, thank ya, but now it's time fer us ta go..."

"But, where can we take lessons?"

"I want to learn too!"

"That's WAY better than the one in the game!"

"It wasn't flaming..."

"But did you see how far that guy flew?"

"Deserved it! That jerk almost hit my sister!"

"So, where's your dojo?"

"How much are lessons?"

"Well, I'm still trainin' myself fer now..."

Running over, Shampoo wrapped her arms around him. "Ranma start teaching once get married, so who want Ranma marry Shampoo?"

The reaction was not as energetic as she had hoped, as many of the guys knew that would mean she would be unavailable, and they had hopped they had a chance. On the other hand, those who preferred Ukyo were cheering more loudly than she had expected, hoping that would 'free' her to date others ...like them!

This, of course, caused Ukyo to ask who wanted HER to be the one to marry him while they, and the crowd, started to argue. Ranma did not want to deal with it, nor did he want to be there if anyone came to see about the damage that had been done to the park... Grabbing each of them by the arm, he took off, escaping when things got tough was a family tradition after all.

"Remember, if ones ask, send damage bill Ryoga Hibiki! ...If can find."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ranma was not sure when it happened, but somewhere during their fleeing, he had gone from leading, to being led, and he was following them instead. He was not sure where they were going, but since they had finally stopped arguing, he did not really want to protest overly much. Fighting was one thing, but listening to his friends arguing over him, was something else entirely and it bothered him. He did not have many of them, and he wanted his few friends to get along. It DID put him off a bit when he noticed that they taking him into one of the indoor ice skating rinks, he had not had much fun ice skating in the past, and he was still not very good at it.

...Wait, did they know that? Well, they were not in town when it happened, but there was a good chance that they had heard about the event, people loved to talk about his worst moments. He just could not figure out why people would not be more accurate ...and only talk about his 'best' moments!

Ranma only resisted a bit as they dragged him to the skate rental counter, each paying for half of his rental fee. He had improved somewhat since his first time, but he had not really practiced a lot after beating the Golden Pair. He had overcome the challenge and no longer needed to prove himself in that arena, it was done, and he was 'the best' ...he 'knew' this well. Despite this false bravado, some of his nervousness leaked through.

"Ya okay, Ranchan? Ya DO know how ta skate, right?"

"A' course I have!" Ranma rubbed the back of his neck as he laughed nervously. "Hell, I even beat the Golden Pair of martial arts figure skating..."

Shampoo beamed with pride, she had caught the tail end of that fight, the whole building was in tatters when it was done. She had not understood what was happening at the time, nor had she seen anyone actually skating, but the sheer destruction spoke volumes for her husband's prowess. "Airen best at all sport! Does doubt Husband?"

"Not meh, Ranchan's th' best! But, if that ain't it, whatcha so nervous fer?"

"Uh, well, it's just, th' Golden Pair, whenever I get near a skatin' rink, I seem ta run inta one a' them. They both creep me right out! Watch out fer um, ya got a thief an' a molester who's actually worse 'an Kuno, maybe even th' old pervert!"

"Worse?"

"Don't ask, ya'll be happier if ya don't find out, trust me."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

A sharply dressed young man sneezed, throwing himself off course, causing him to lose his balance, and crashing headfirst into the wall.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Oh Ranchan, yer really not very good at this, are ya?"

"Aiyaaa! Found Airen other weakness..."

"Hey! I'm not weak!"

"How'd ya win a skating match like this?"

"I... Well, I don't really remember, I got so mad it's all kind a' a blur after that..." Ranma hesitated for a moment, thinking back on the whole experience. "I do remember havin' ta fight th' pig-boy after, an' havin' ta fish Akane out a' th' pool... Was really sore the next day. Heard th' whole place got tore up."

"Aw, you poor thang, ya really had it rough..."

"Let Shampoo show how do." Sliding up behind him, she wrapped herself around him, helping to guide his limbs. "Is too too easy, no think about, no fight, just let body glide..."

"Hey! No fair!"

"Just mad, no think of first!"

Ranma's mind went blank as he was led around the rink, his body quickly remembering the correct movements ...more or less. That is until Shampoo led him off of the ice and had trapped him against a wall, away from most of the other patrons. "Wha-wha-what 're ya doin'?"

"Rubbing on husband get wife too too excited... Kiss Shampoo now!" Quickly undoing the fasteners on her dress, she glanced back up into Ranma's eyes ...or where his eyes had been only a moment before. Turning around, The almost nude youth spotted her rival holding Ranma's hand, and heading back toward the ice.

"Mommy! That onee-san' clothes are falling off! Is that what they call a 'flasher'? You told me it was bad to go outside naked!"

The disturbed mother covered her son's eyes, quickly turning them both away. "Shhh! Just pretend you didn't see anything!"

"No kid, it is never bad when it is a goddess like that! In fact, you should kneel down and thank your lucky stars, and your lovely mother to have been born to witness to such a lovely sight!" The skating star leaned down to put his hand on the boy's shoulder. "One of these days, your whole world will revolve around girls, and you will only wish they looked half that nice, or are as forward. It is, after all, a man's duty to take care of women who are so sorely in need of companionship."

Switching her hands from his eyes to his ears, then back, unsure of what was more detrimental to her son's well being. "Wait, aren't you...?"

"Mikado Sanzenin, yes. The important half of the Golden Pair of martial arts figure skating."

"...that guy who was beaten by a couple who couldn't even skate?"

"...and here I was going to ask if you wanted to be my fifteen-hundredth."

"Yeah, that's the guy! My kid was too embarrassed to go back to school, I had to pay to transfer to a new school because of that!"

"We were NOT beaten! ...We forfeited the match!" Brushing his hair back, the tall boy calmed himself. "I had a sudden medical emergency and had to leave, there was nothing that could have been done about it."

"Getting hit in the head with a mallet, that's a 'medical emergency' if I ever heard one!"

"Hey!"

"Not as much as the other team who survived the Couple Cleaver!"

"I can't believe anyone could live through THAT!"

"What ever happened to that guy?"

"Went to the hospital after that, every bone broken, never walked again!"

"I would think so!"

"Wait, but isn't that the guy over there? The one that the blue haired girl is chasing..."

"Purple."

"Chasing purple? What?"

"Purple hair, the girl's hair is purple, not blue."

"You're blind, Fool! That is blue! Gentle Bell's blue dye number seventy-four."

"That's just the lighting!"

Not caring about the hue of the girl's hair, bottle or no, he had other ...features on his mind, Mikado ignored the argument, the child, his mother, and everything else beyond the busty beauty's path back toward one of the few people in the world who merited his attention, and wrath! Unlike his partner, he was under no obligation to NOT beat this annoyance to a bloody pulp! With any luck, he can collect kiss number fifteen hundred from his new companion while he was at it... Now, what to do about it?

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Rebuttoning her dress, the undaunted teen ignored the growing commotion behind her, and hurried after her pilfered paramour. "Why take Ranma when things just start to get fun?"

"Ya answered ya own question, Sugar. Ah don't think Ranchan wants yer kind a' 'fun'..."

"ALL boy want. As boy, should know this!"

"Then why don't ya go git one a' THOSE boys ta play with ya, if they all want ya so much... er if mah Ranchan is too difficult fer ya!" Ukyo bristled at the insult to her femininity, and pulled an unbalanced Ranma into her chest with a 'humph'. "We'll be havin' fun o'er here without'cha in th' meantime."

"Kote-girl no even know what is fun without Shampoo. Only Ranma good enough for be with Shampoo, other boy no is worthy!" Before either of them could react, she had attached herself to Ranma's hip, and caused the three of them to slide. "Anywhere Ranma go, Shampoo go too!"

"Anywhere?"

"Is true!"

"E'en th' bathroom?"

The smiling Shampoo cutely nodded. "Be in bath together many time."

"That ain't what Ah meant! Also, don't see ya at school, neither, now do we?"

"Want see more of Shampoo? No know this..."

"A' course not! Ah'd be happy if'n Ah nevah saw ya 'gain!"

"Is too too easy, for that, just leave Ranma side, is no problem. Never need see Shampoo again, while at it, take stupid Mousse with when go."

"Oh, but Ah'd nevah wanna take yer true love, Ah know how important yer childhood friends can be!"

"No is friend, is stupid annoying one from child time, like other might say."

The speed at which they were traveling combined with being sandwiched between two lovely ladies, covered in their thin silk dresses, caused Ranma's mind to turn off until their banter had been interrupted by a young boy skating up behind them and lifting the back of Shampoo's dress, exposing part of her bottom. "Thank you very much, Megami-sama!"

As the young boy skated off, Shampoo gasped in surprise, and used Ranma's hand to cover herself. Ukyo had been laughing too hard to keep her grip on Ranma's arm, and they spun, falling to the ice, Ranma lying on his back with Shampoo face-down, turned the other way. None of them noticed the young lad congratulated by an older teen on the other side of the rink.

"That's whatcha git fer wearin' that skimpy thing!" Her laughter quickly came to an end as she noticed her rival wiggling herself into Ranma's face. "Hey! Whatcha think yer doin'?"

"Aiyaaaaaaa! Enjoying self!" Unable to help herself, Shampoo writhed around, relishing in the feeling of Ranma's chin and breath on her neither regions.

"Hey! Git offa' Ranchan!"

"No, is too ...too nice! Oh yes, Husband, there is spot!"

"RANCHAN! What 're ya doin'?"

His muffled voice was barely heard over the music playing in the background. "Tryin' ta breathe!"

The child's mother grabbed her son and, along with her contemporaries, ran for the door to avoid the scene, while most of the younger, more single members of the crowd had started gathering to watch. One of the few exceptions to this was Mikado, who could no longer contain himself ...or, just stand by and watch such a scene! Yes, that was what he meant...

Ranma was confused, unsure why Shampoo would not move, nor why she was not wearing underwear, maybe the old man had gotten to her earlier that day... Despite being a girl half of the time, this was the closest he had seen a girl's private area ...before he had slammed his eyes closed that was, and he was not sure what to make of it. He had never been overly inclined to examine his cursed form any more than was absolutely necessary when he was unable to find hot-water! It was strange, and made him feel weird to even thing about it. After all, according to his father, there was nothing good about being a girl ...on the other hand, how often was his father right about anything? Even when it came to the art it was hit-and-miss, his ideas were just as likely to cause you more problems than they solve. As far as Ranma knew, his entire experience with women included being mean to one, leaving her for his mother, whom he had not seen in so long that Ranma did not have a single memory of her, and then trying to force him to marry Akane! Clearly his father was not the one to ask, but who was?

Before reaching a conclusion, Ranma sensed an unpleasant aura closing in just before an even more unpleasant voice was directed his way. "Things not work out with your other iinazuke, or have you finally learned to play the field like a real man?"

Ranma managed to stand, despite Shampoo still clinging to his face, not caring that her rear was on display for the world to see as she moaned in pleasure with every movement. "Why stupid boy interrupt? Shampoo almost there!"

Ukyo was too shocked to even move, and tried not to look enviously at her rival ...she failed miserably. "Where'd ya think ya goin'?"

"Shampoo on way to heaven!"

"If that was where you had wanted to be kissed, all you needed do was ask, my dear. In honor of my fifteen-hundredth kiss, I would have kissed you anywhere you liked."

"No want stupid boy even kiss Shampoo butt."

"That would be a first, you would be better off going with a real man, one with experience, who can please you."

"Is no enough man for please Shampoo, ooo, ooo, ooOoOoOoOooOOOOOO!"

"Oh, just get off, will ya?"

"Mmmmm, yeeeessss, Shampoo just do..."

"Wait, what? Hey, no fair!"

"Snoozing is losing!"

"Did you forget, there is someone else here?" Mikado did not like the idea of being ignored.

"Is trying, no making easy..." Shampoo continued to grind her pelvis against Ranma's

"But, I am here to make your dreams come true?"

"Yer here ta help meh marry Ranchan?"

"What? No, but if you hold on for just a moment, I will make you number fifteen-hundred and one, and help you forget that fool!"

"That ain't mah dream, Sugar, it's yers!"

"Aaaaiiiiiiiiyyyyyaaaaaaaa!" With that last push, Shampoo's muscles went limp, and she barely managed to stay upright.

Finally free of Shampoo's leg lock, Ranma briefly wondered why Shampoo looked so unsteady on her feet before confronting one of his least favorite people. "Ain't ya figured out any better hobbies?"

"What other hobbies are there, skating and kissing girls? What more dose one need?"

"Ya forgot wearin' make-up..."

"Yes, well, that is not a hobby, it is just a matter of looking good for my fans..."

"Why fan care how look, just keep waving?"

"Not that kind a' 'fan'... This's that skatin' jerk I warned ya about. Figures ya'd be here..."

"Anywhere there is ice and pretty girls, you will find Mikado Sanzenin!"

"I hear they got lots in Siberia... Why don't ya go find out?"

"I have, and they DO!"

"Yeah, well, should stayed there... It seems ya been stayin' out a' jail, so far, how about yer partner? Th' thief still on the loose?"

"Sadly, yes."

"Oh well, so much fer wishful thinkin'... So what ya want?"

"What do you THINK I want? I may not have stolen a kiss from your partner back then, but-"

"Yer welcome..."

Coughing to show his annoyance at being interrupted, Mikado tried to continue. "I shall at least take some small satisfaction in that fiery red-head, and now I will claim these lovely maidens lips."

"What boy mean?"

"Yer kiddin'? Ya mean, ..with THAT GUY?"

Ranma was embarrassed, desperately wishing he could forget that moment. "I WAS gonna let ya make a fool of yerself an' watch ya get beat up by these girls, but ya just made it personal!" Ranma took one step forward and fell flat on his face.

Each of these 'dainty maidens' tore a chunk of ice from the rink and slammed them together, sandwiching the figure skater between them, and crushing him flat. "What wrong with beat up by girl?"

"Why'd ya make that sound like an insult, Ranchan?"

"Uh, it was an insult ta that, jerk, not ta ya guys!"

"That ain't better!"

"Why Ranma still too too sexy pig?"

Thinking of one little black piglet, he smiled. "Well, it could be worse..." Noticing for the first time that most of the people left in the building were staring at them and the damage they caused to the rink, Ranma came to a conclusion. "This ain't th' time fer that, we should probably get out a' here..."

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After an exciting day, the trio were walking each other home, each lost in their own thoughts about the long date. Ranma was confused, not particularly looking forward to his evening, Shampoo was thrilled, having had the best day of her life, and Ukyo was flowing between being happy and jealous, trying to figure out a way to copy her rival's ...luck. It would occupy her thoughts for the rest of the night, and make her wish that she did not have to use the public baths... Since her true gender had been revealed, she rather enjoyed being able to go to the women's side, something she had never been able to do before, having had to join her father as a child, and hiding her femininity after that. It worked out, since the cost of a building with its own furo was far more than she wanted to spend! After all, a lifetime of frugality gained from her father as well as managing her own finances most of her life would not allow her to pay any more than needed for unnecessary luxuries, especially when there was a cheaper alternative! However, today she wanted more ...privacy.

As Ukyo was drifting off into her fantasies of making out with Ranma, he broke the silence. "Sorry 'bout that, I told ya that guy was dangerous!"

"Sure was a jerk, that's fer sure..."

"Is bad, yes, but what worse, boy what no take 'no' for answer, or boy what no take 'yes' for answer?"

"Ah hear ya..."

"Huh?"

"Sometime wish Airen more like skating boy, but only with Shampoo... Want do again, like before, feel too too good!"

"Hey, ya can't do that! ...It's MAH turn! Ah thought we had a deal!"

Unable to believe his ears, was dumbfounded. "Uuuuuh, what're ya talkin' about? Ya want me ta act more like ...that pervert?"

Unable to believe he did not know to what she was referring, Shampoo ignored him, and focused on what she considered the real threat. "No take turns on that! Husband no is for sharing with obstacle!"

"Uh oh..." When Shampoo started to toss that word around, bad things tended to happen...

"'Obstacle' am Ah?"

"Is true."

"At least AH'M not th' one gettin' naked at evah opportunity, showin' off ta anyone an' evah-one, like some easy woman a' th' night!"

"Only show off, and is too too easy for Ranma, but no let anyone get in way!" Shampoo looked thoughtful for a moment, considering her rival. "Maybe take back loan of dress, then see how talking..."

"As if Ah'd let ya!"

"No can stop..."

Ukyo whipped out her two remaining kote, Shampoo, her sword, and they began to go at it, unable to resist attacking each other any longer. Shampoo directed her attacks mostly at the dress that she would rather burn than wear again anyway, shortening it a bit with one of her swings. She was rather annoyed when one of Ukyo's strikes had slashed a new slit in her new favorite dress, after all, it was the dress that had allowed her to 'get closer' to Ranma ...at least in her mind, however the dress was not as important as the experience.

Already embarrassed by not having any underwear on in public, and in such a tight dress no less, Ukyo was horrified to see what was left of said dress as it was being sliced apart, scattered all around them. She had impressed herself with how much she had improved with using her primarily ranged weapons in melee, but she could not block every attack and the outfit she was wearing was paying the price. It may have been Shampoo's dress, but she was under it, and did not want any boy other than Ranma to see her naked! When you consider the fact that she had posed as a boy most of her life, and even gone to all-boys' schools, that had been quite a feat to maintain!

"Show Airen who have better body! ...Airen, where you go?"

"This's all yer fault!"

"Airen! Shampoo sorry, no make see flat, pancake body! Come back now, yes?"

"Mah body ain't scary, that's yer deal!"

"Ranma no run from Shampoo body if no curse, so must be!"

"Those boys from earlier seemed ta like mah body jus' fine!"

"Why no go back arcade then, leave Shampoo husband alone!"

"Ranchan was MAH iinazuke first!"

"No is what Shampoo hear, but was Shampoo HUSBAND first!"

"Not if Ranchan's got anything ta say about it!"

"No is do, law is law, none have say. No would fight law if could, Ranma is best boy Shampoo ever meet!"

"But, Ah met Ranchan first!"

"And Shampoo marry first, why no do self?"

"Well ...Ah ...it's 'cause... Genma, ya know..."

"Then blame Panda-man, no blame Shampoo!" Separating, the two combatants breathing was ragged as they examined their damaged outfits. "Shampoo hear story, Panda is bad man, but is fault for no chasing after fall down. Hunt down, catch, skin stupid panda in sleep!"

"Ah tried, but Ah was jus' a kid!"

"How that Shampoo fault? In village of Heroic Women, we train chase end of earth for what want!"

"Yeah, well, we can't all be mountain cats willin' ta run inta traffic."

"That why lose!"

"Really, and how's that worked out fer ya so far?"

Remembering the events of the afternoon, and their time on the ice, she shivered from something other than being cold. "Is better than some..."

"Damn ya!" No longer caring about anything else, the Kansai cook charged toward her opponent, fires blazing deep within her eyes!

"Is in way, so Shampoo happy fight anytime, but anger no in right place..."

"Ah think it is! Also, ya gotta remember, yer in mah way too, Sugar!"

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Climbing in through the window, Ranma greeted his house mate. "Tadaima, Sensei, ya have a good day? How's Kasumi-san doin'?"

Hinako shook her head, looking down at the table. "I don't know that I will ever get used to that... Welcome back Saotome-kun. Tendo-san wanted me to wish you well."

Ranma washed his hands and started to cook as they talked. "Nice ta see Kasumi-san get out fer somethin' other 'an shoppin' fer th' family."

"Speaking of that, I was also instructed to give you this. Open it! Open it! Open it!"

Ranma found it odd that she was bouncing up and down like an excited child, even while in adult form, unlike most boys his age, who would have been too distracted to care WHY it was happening, and just be glad that they were there to witness it. "Uuuum, okaaay. Ya feelin' all right?"

"I'm GREAT! Why do you ask?"

"Ummm, nuthin' I guess... Ya feed yer fish already?"

"YUP! Now, quit stalling, and open your present!"

"Okay, okay, okay, keep yer pants on..."

Hinako glanced down at what fit her like a micro miniskirt, and shrugged, more concerned with what he would think of his gift.

"Oh, yay ...a book."

Few had ever accused Ranma of being a good actor, and the harder he tried, the worse he became, so even in her excited state, Hinako was easily able to read his disappointment, sobering her mood, as she blamed herself, as well as the boy's father, for not instilling a love of literature during his young life. "Well, you know Saotome-kun, it is a very good book. I hope you will at least give it a chance."

"Yeah, I guess..." Stashing the book in his pack, Ranma turned to begin cooking.

Hinako noticed how quiet her charge had gotten, and worried a bit. "Is there something you would like to talk about?"

"Naw." Setting a few dishes before his teacher, he tried to leave the room.

"Wait, where are you going? Aren't you going to eat? Are you not feeling well?" Ranma skipping a meal? Even she knew that was not normal...

"I gotta promise ta keep." Seeing the curious look on her face, Nabiki's training kicked in, and he felt compelled to respond. "I'm doin' what ya told me, ya said I gotta give everyone a fair shake, so I am keeping my word, and doin' just that."

"Oh?" She had been vaguely aware that there were other young women who were trying to marry the boy, but she was not expecting him to be willing to expand his circle this soon without prodding.

"Well, ya guys said I gotta give 'em all a fair chance, so that's what I am doing tonight..." Ranma cringed. "Meeting someone for dinner."

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NOTES

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Sorry for the liberties with the lyrics, some I translated on my own, adjusting them somewhat to make them fit the melody/scene better, others, like It's April Fools, I just took from AnimeLyrics dot com, in spite of knowing how wrong they can be on occasion. Nabiki's New Year song, for example, doesn't even have the right transcription, never mind the translations (which is better in that case). It just goes to show, we all make mistakes, so always verify everything you are able for yourself...

The songs used in this chapter were, 'Okonomiyaki ni Kaita Rabu Retaa ('Love Letter Written on Okonomiyaki'), followed by 'Wode Airen [Wo Ai Ni]' ('Beloved Spouse [I Love You]'). Shampoo then sang a variation on a segment of 'I'll Be There' by The Jackson 5. Ranma rounded the scene off with 'Konya wa April Fools' ('Tonight is April Fools').

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That's it for another installment of our story, tune in next time for, 'Guess Who's Cuming for Dinner', or 'Honesty is the Best Policy'?


	13. Chapter 13

Still don't own anything, that isn't likely to change...

Chapter Lucky 13 - A Crazy Three-Way, the Candlelit Confession

Fair warning, a small chunk of this chapter is part of a dream sequence, that is not exactly related to the story itself. I liked the idea of an amalgam/crossover story, but did not want to write a whole story around it, so I thought I would just put the idea out there. There will be a couple of other dreams that have some baring on the story, but this one is rather skippable, if you are really not into that sort of thing.

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Still a bit of time before their dinner rush preparations were to begin, Shampoo returned to their cafe in tattered clothing, yet smiling. "Well, it seems as though YOU had an interesting afternoon, Granddaughter."

It was not the perfect ending to their date, but the middle was incredible! "Aiyaaa! Shampoo want skate date more often! Oh, is there, Great-grandmother?"

Shaking her head, the old woman sighed, details would have to wait. "Go get cleaned up, it will be time to work soon."

"HAI! Shampoo put souvenirs away first, is okay?"

"Just try to hurry, my dear."

Mousse watched from his place, locked in his cage where Cologne had stuck him after making threats about ruining their date, as Shampoo came in, happy as he had ever seen her. While he longed for Shampoo's happiness, it did not help his position if it was someone else making her happy! It needed to be HIM who brought the joy to her face, the light to her eye, him and him alone! It could not be real happiness, after all, no one else was capable of making her TRULY happy! This farce had gone on long enough, it was high time he made something happen! Now, if he could just get out of this cage...

"Well, I see you almost have that bar loose, it appears that a wooden cage is no longer good enough for you." The ancient matriarch opened the cage. "You know we don't have to do this, you could go back to work and we can all get all get along. You may not be the best worker we have had, but I would still rather have you working with us, than have to send you home to your mother with strict instructions to not allow you out of sight. You know that overprotective mother of yours would love any excuse to keep you home since your father left... Now, would you like to 'play nice', or-?"

Not that he was aware of the comparison, however Mousse sounded much like Donald Duck taking a rage dump at that moment as he leaped forward, trying to 'peck' at the old woman's hand. Cologne hopped up, whacking the flustered fowl on the skull with her staff before landing back on top of it. Tossing him into another cage, one made entirely of metal and far less comfortable, as well as much harder to break, she sighed. "One of these days you are going to push me too far, Boy. I am not the one that dislikes you, or you wouldn't be here. Well, hopefully you will be in a better mood after a long nap..."

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Shampoo was giddy as she opened up her 'Scrap Box', placing the new pieces of her collection inside, making notes on what they were, and what she had broken to get them. She was only disappointed that she had nothing special to commemorate the other memorable moment other than her recollections of the feelings that she hoped to never forget! It had been a wonderful day, and she hoped to be able to enjoy many more.

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Still hard at work, setting the restaurant in order for their customers, Konatsu was shocked to see the mistress hurry through the lobby, desperately trying to use the tattered remains of her outfit to cover what was left of her modesty. She moved quickly enough that all but those with the fastest of eyes would be hard pressed to see more than a blur, though a lifetime of training ensured that Konatsu was one of those precious few used to tracking such quick movements. Mouth hanging open, the kunoichi was unable to move for several moments, giving Ukyo the privacy she desired. "That must have been one interesting date..."

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Ukyo was not having the best of days, it started off badly, it ended badly, and there were precious few fun moments in between, but she was thankful that at least no one seemed to notice her shameful run home ...another one she owed that tarted up hussy! It could have been such a nice date, even if Ranma had been running late, if only THAT WOMAN had not shown up to join them! Lamenting her poor luck, she cursed her rival as she trashed the remaining scraps of clothing and got ready to go to the bathhouse, when she remembered the vat of okonomiyaki sauce she would be unveiling the next day.

Ten years in the making, her sauce was sure to win Ranma's stomach ...and heart! It was the culmination of her lifetime of Training in the okonomiyaki arts! Her greatest achievement as a chef, and she had no doubt that it would show Ranma her obvious superiority as a chef and a woman! He would surly take her in his strong, yet comforting arms, while looking deeply into her eyes and confessing his undying love for her ...and okonomiyaki!

They would kiss each other all over, breathing heavily as they massaged the other, and romantic music began to play. "Oh, Ranchan!" She would shyly pull him into her bed, and pull the covers over their heads as they made love, late into the night, as two strong, healthy men, played with her, just her, Ranma ...and Ryu, filling her with a new kind of 'Hadoken'!

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Konatsu had finished cleaning the kitchen and dining area, and noticed that Ukyo had not come out of her room and continued setting up the store while wondering what was causing the delay, wanting to do anything to help the one who had been so kind. Not seeing her emerge from her room, despite even taking the time to clean the place while waiting, the kunoichi ran to Ukyo's room, to make certain that everything was all right. "Ukyo-sama, are you-? ...Oh my, I will come back when you are less ...busy."

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To say that Ranma was 'uncomfortable' while walking up to the gate of the Kuno estate was the understatement of the week. Even though two of the three Kunos should not be a problem, their principal not living there and Tatewaki still being confined to his bed, healing, he still had to worry about, arguably the craziest of them all, Kodachi, and their manservant, Sasuke. He was assured that it was going to be a rather unpleasant evening at best, but he gave his word, and had to see it through, for better or worse...

Checking his suit, he tried to make sure he was prepared for any manner of attack, because that was exactly what he assumed was likely to happen as he rang the doorbell. Traps, weapons, poisons, he was ready for it all, what he was NOT prepared for was Sasuke dressed as a butler, complete with coattails, and his ninja mask, handing him a bouquet of roses with a note he was not given time to read. "Saotome-sama, please come in, the Mistress is expecting you."

"I'll bet, question is, what should 'I' expect...?"

Understanding his concern, Sasuke wanted to offer his reassurances, but was not entirely sure himself, even if he had a few ideas of what would happen if Kodachi had her wish, so just flatly stated what he could say for certain. "Dinner." Not reassured, Ranma nervously followed along until they got to the large dining room, and almost jumped away when Kodachi spotted them.

"RANMA-SAMA! You came!" At first, the gymnast jumped to her feet, but before taking a step, she turned shyly away, hiding her blushing face. "I could hardly believe it when Sasuke told me you had requested this dinner date. We have been hearing some troubling rumors of late, that even though you had been freed from the clutches of that horrid girl, and freely dating your other iinazuke, yet you had not come by to see me. You had me quite worried my darling, but now I see that you were just saving the best for last. That is it, is it not? You just wanted to give those other girls the feeling that they stood a chance, before telling them the truth, that you have chosen your loving Kodachi! You have made me SO happy!"

"Well, I wouldn't exactly say that..."

Not wanting to hear where that line of thought might be leading, she interrupted before he could say anything that would be harder for her to ignore. "Oh my, what have you here? Flowers? For me? Such a thoughtful boyfriend I have!" Light twinkled in the adoring eyes of the raven-haired beauty as they went wide. 'I do not care if they were picked from the garden outside, it is the thought that counts!'

"Uh, I guess so..." Awkwardly, Ranma handed the seemingly mismatched bouquet of roses. He did not even know they came in that many colors before that day, but then 'black' roses had been news to him as well when he had first met Kodachi, and it was not as if he were into 'girlie' things, such as flower arranging, so what did he know?

Her ball gown flared out as she twirled, hugging the flowers to her chest before realizing there was a note attached. Opening the card, she saw the flourishing script, and knew he had not written it, but assumed that he had gotten assistance in order to make a good impression.

Shyly she blushed as she lowered her eyes and looked over the top of the floral arrangement. "I do hope you do not mind if I read it now... 'Please, let this rain-bouquet show you the depth of my feelings for you. May the peach rose show you my sincerity, may the orange show you my enthusiasm, the white is to represent your youthfulness, innocence, and humility, the pink one is to show how much I appreciate you, the lavender is for our moment of love at first sight, the blue represents how unattainable you are, and the red one is for your beauty, courage, and passion!' Oh, Ranma-sama, you know me so well!"

Ranma was about to glare at the missing ninja for putting words in his mouth, when Kodachi tossed the flowers into an empty vase that had just been provided for that very purpose, and tackled him! "Oh Ranma-sama, I just knew that we were perfect for each other! We can have the wedding whenever you are ready, but let us start the honeymoon tonight!"

"Ummm..." Ranma had no idea how to react and was trying to escape out of instinct when his stomach growled.

"Oh, my darling, you are hungry! Come, Ranma-sama, sit, and allow me feed you as is only proper for a dutiful wife!" She guided him into the largest chair at the head of the table. "Once we wed, as the new head of the family, this will be your place for every meal before you have your bath ...and me."

Not understanding the rest of that, Ranma focused on the part that made enough sense to confuse him. "Bath ...yeah, not happenin'! Head a' th' family, but isn't that yer pops, er brother?"

"My father, with great dedication, has chosen to give up control of the household in favor of that school of yours, and my onii-sama has never been very good at running anything outside of that mouth. I love them both dearly, however I will not allow them to continue to run this family into the ground once I have the means of resting control, someone more worthy must carry this family forward, and I have chosen the one who is the most deserving, the one who is capable of restoring our name to greatness for generations to come!"

"But, I-"

"There is no need for that look, Ranma-sama, I am well aware how far my family has fallen. Why do you think it is so critical that I marry the future family head?"

"I don't know, crazy people always seem ta want power..." The hurt look he received, instantly made him regret his words, even if she did recover quickly. "Oh, I mean ...I'm sorry, I-..."

"No, I only wish to restore my family to what was rightfully ours, before too many generations married a bit too close to home... and we began to decline. Family is important, but so are genetics, something the ancestors did not understand. I am certain though, that you did not come here to listen to me talk about ancient history, one hopes you had more ...entertaining things in mind." The wink he received set Ranma all the more on edge. "But first, my stallion, you must be fed! Sasuke!" Clapping, she summoned her family's only remaining servant, who rushed in with a large tray, filled with delicious-looking food.

The aromas that filled his nose distracted Ranma from what he had intended to say as he allowed himself to be seated, not balking until Kodachi had lifted a portion of food in her chopsticks with the intention of feeding him. "Uh, ain't ya gonna eat too?"

Kodachi considered the implications of his question, trying to determine what he meant by it, and marveled at the coy way in which he was asking for an indirect kiss. "Oh, my darling, if you wanted a kiss, then all you need do is ask! Fine then, if that is your desire my love, it is a simple thing."

"No, it's just, ain't ya gonna eat too? Ah-..." Ranma could not believe she took the bite intended for him with no adverse reactions! "Ya mean it's not poisoned?"

"Of course not, my love, you came to me, but how could you tell?"

"Well, if ya ate some of it...?"

"I am actually mostly immune to the effects of the black rose extracts, however you are correct, it is not, as you say, 'poisoned'."

Ranma was relived, but honestly confused, unsure what to make of that. "But ...why?"

Now it was Kodachi's turn to look bewildered. "You wanted something added to your food? What would you like, my love, something to relax perhaps?"

"NO!" Ranma looked horrified for a moment. "It's just that, well, that's never stopped ya before..."

That is only to keep you from running away from me, my sweet. However, you came to me willingly, so why would I need that? You are not planning to run away now that you are here, are you?" Ranma violently shoot his head, he had given his word, and intended to see this through, no matter what that entailed. "Good, then let us hear no more of that talk. You are here so that we may show each other a good time. There is no one here who is going to hurt you."

'Oh sure, ya say that now...' Ranma flinched in disbelief, always on the lookout for water, in any form.

"Do you really think so little of me, Darling?" The uncomfortable look on his face told her all she needed to know. "I see."

"Well, it ain't like yer not always attackin' me, er nuthin'..."

"No, I would never! ...well, hardly ever, I only attack that other Ranma, the one who is trying to keep you from me!"

Ranma let out a deep sigh, it was time to 'rip off the bandage', and go through with it. He had promised to give her a 'fair shot', and it was not fair to her if she did not know the truth anyway... It was too bad, the food smelled great! Maybe if he survived this, he could grab something on the way home... He never was what one would call a 'smooth talker', and this was no exception, despite all of his practicing, nothing came out the way he had intended. "What 'other' Ranma? There AIN'T no OTHER Ranma, there is only me, a guy with a curse! All that stuff ya do ta that girl, yer doin' it ta ME, so don't think I don't know what ya done, everybody else knows, I don't know why th' two a' ya can't get it! Yer brother was even holding me when it I changed, on more than one occasion! Stand back ...no, over there." Ranma pointed to the other side of the room, watching her slink away before getting a glass of water. "This can't work if ya keep thinkin' a' us as different people anyway. 'Sides, between th' two a ya, I never know what ta expect, an' I just can't do this any more. Watch very closely, then ya can either prove that someone in yer family got some honor, er if yer just like those ya think er so bad. I am curious, will ya even believe it like this? My curse?"

"Are you two really that close then?" Kodachi could not believe her eyes as Ranma turned up the glass of water over this head, that he had poured from a pitcher on the table in response. There she was, her most hated rival, right in front of her the whole time! "How did you do that, mirrors? How did you get in here? How dare you invade my home? You will NOT trick me!"

"Were ya not payin' attention? I just told ya, I got a curse, it's still me, it's always been me! Sasuke, hot water please?" He carefully watched the 'other' girl, as her face played through many emotions, before stomping over, taking the glass, filling it from the same decanter, and pouring it over her own head. "Told ya. There ain't no mirrors, I got a curse when I was in China."

"Curse? There is no such thing as magic!"

"Tell that ta yer brother!"

"My onii-sama is an idiot!"

"I'm not tryin' ta arguin' THAT point."

"No, you are trying to tell me that you somehow magically change size, gender, hair color, and so on, simply by being splashed with normal water? Is that it?"

"Cold water, yeah. If ya think that's bad, pops turns inta a panda, an' there're worse ones out there..."

"Why? Why would you do this to me? Why do you keep coming here, and trying to ruin my every small moment of happiness?"

"To 'YOU'? What do you mean, 'to you'? I'm th' one with th' curse! I'm th' one that can't go a day without bein' attacked er hit-on by almost everyone in town I don't want nuthin' ta do with!" At that moment, the small servant entered the room, with a carafe, handing it to Ranma, only slightly surprised by the change in gender. "I'm th' one that isn't allowed ta be happy!" Taking the thermal flask and poured some of its contents over his head, and started to jump around, tossing it into the air. "HOT! TOO HOT! OW! AH! OOOO!"

Sasuke almost fainted as Ranma returned to his natural gender, unable to believe his eyes, and the implications for both of his charges ...and possibly his job!

"Oh, Ranma-sama..." Kodachi's voice shifted slightly, and got louder and more shrill. "GET OUT!" Then it shifted back, gaining a softer tone, almost reminding him of Kasumi. "You poor dear." "AND NEVER COME BACK!" "I will see you soon, my love!"

Sasuke grabbed Ranma by the sleeve, dragging him out of the room as quickly as he could. "I have never see the mistress this bad, you might not want to come around again for a little while."

"I never did in th' first place! Anyway, what was the deal with those flowers, and that weird note? Where ya learn ta write like that?"

"I have not been around the master this long for nothing..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Returning from showing Ranma out, Sasuke heard voices from Kodachi's room... Worried about his mistress, he listened at the door.

"They never liked you, NOBODY likes YOU!"

"NO! That is not true!"

"Not your classmates, not your teammates, not even your own family wants anything to do with you!"

"Ranma-sama, likes Kodachi-chan! It is the truth!"

"You think so do you? Why did it take so long for your date?"

"Delayed, by those evil harridans, they are always trying to keep us apart!"

"Just how often do you get to spend time together, even when that is not the case?"

"But what about those flowers? You read the note!"

"Yes, what about that note, you know it was written by someone else, do you not?"

"What does that matter? Someone's penmanship is not that important to me."

"It means, those were someone else's words! There is no way that guy wrote that!"

"I DON'T CARE! Whose fault is it that Ranma-sama left?"

"Sasuke's!"

"No, it was YOURS! We were so close to having our storybook ending, and YOU had to come in and ruin it!"

"It must have been some trick! Changing into a girl like that, maybe it was to take advantage of Onii-sama!"

"That does not seem very likely..."

"Of course YOU would not think that, you were hoping that guy would take advantage of YOU!"

"That is beside the point. You cannot tell me that you do not wish to run your fingers across that chest."

"I never said otherwise, I just do not believe in giving anyone else a say in the matter! If anyone is going to be taking advantage of someone, it should be us! Do you not agree?"

"Well, you cannot take advantage of the willing..."

"Sure you can, it just isn't rape, now are you with me or not?"

"I mean, I want to, but not with you..."

"That isn't what I meant, and you know it!"

"Of course I do, and that is still my answer, I want Ranma-sama, and I do not want you to have anything to do with it!"

"You cannot stop me!"

"Do I need to? You never had any luck before, but I was doing well tonight, before you came in!"

"Were you? It seemed to me, as if you were failing just as badly as always, floundering around, throwing yourself at that man, just hoping you might get somewhere. You are so desperate for attention that you are willing to latch onto anyone offering you anything that even resembles a compliment!"

"At least I get them! The closest you ever got to a compliment was to be called 'sick and twisted'!"

"That IS a compliment, coming from the trash who inhabit my city!"

"Your city? Last time I checked, it was still called 'Nerima', not 'Stuck-up-bitch'."

"Such vulgar language, toward me? Everything you have is thanks to me!"

"Not everything, and I get into trouble for you far more often than you help!"

"Well, how about you, what do YOU think?"

A meek voice could barely be heard from under the door. "I wish you would both go away and leave me alone!"

"Oh shut up!"

"Do you not understand? We are trying to help you."

The timid voice was almost a whisper. "You are not very good at it."

"Who cares what YOU think?"

"You asked..."

"It was rhetorical!"

"Stop, do you realize what this means? ...If both 'Ranmas' are one and the same."

The mousy voice squeaked out hesitantly, as something dawned on her. "We have done a horrible thing."

"It cannot be, it has to be a trick!"

"I do not see how, it would be a GOOD trick, and to what end?"

"If it is not a trick, then whatever could we do? We called that girl the most terrible names, and tried to kill Ranma-sama so many times..." The timid voice began to sob uncontrollably.

"The way I hear it, that Chinese tramp did too, so do not concern yourself with the details..."

"It is just that-."

"I said that I would take care of it, as always, do not worry your pretty little head."

"No! I am tired of you always pushing us around, you may have ruined our chances permanently, I will NOT give you another shot!"

The sounds of a struggle concerned the littlest ninja, if he had not recognized the voices, he would have worried about an intruder, but as things were, he dared not intervene in these ...conversations.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

After having been hurried out of the Kuno mansion without getting any of the delicious smelling food he had been so nervous about eating, Ranma was starving! Kodachi's food may have been dangerous, but it always some of the best smelling, and tasting food he had ever had the pleasure of eating, it was almost as good as Kasumi's cooking! He would never dare tell any of the women in his life, but if not for being the second biggest risk of being poisoned, Kodachi was easily the best over-all cook of the women trying to win his heart. Sadly, even when it WAS poisoned, it was less harmful than anything Akane could make, that girl could burn water in the microwave!

In a part of town he typically tried to avoid, due to being the home of a certain family, and with food on his mind, Ranma spied a small crowd gathered around a large green truck. As he neared the food service vehicle, the sweet smells filled his nostrils, and the 'crepe' sign came into view. He really wished it had been a 'dine-in' restaurant, with facilities, so he could 'change', he hated eating sweet things as a guy, damn society for thinking it 'unmanly', but at this point, his stomach growled again to let him know how little it cared about his pride.

He tried to keep his face covered as he bought several of the fruit filled flap-jacks from 'Crepe Joe', the self professed 'King of Crepes', and once away, Ranma had to admit, they WERE pretty good, though eating quickly, he pretended not to enjoy them one bit! Between the sweet treats, and the guy's bishonen good looks, Ranma was sure that the girls at his school would love him, and secretly hoped he might take some of the attention away from him, perhaps he could even talk Sasuke into pointing Kodachi his way ...nah, that was too cruel, especially for someone against whom he bore no grudge.

It was not what he had been craving for dinner, nor was it especially substantial, however it was tasty, and he had gotten several, so it took his mind off of his hunger. Not having anything else to do for the evening, Ranma headed for his new 'home', trying to put the evening out of his mind.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Climbing in through the window, Ranma noticed Hinako was in the furo, and after picking up her discarded clothing, and other messes, he took the book Kasumi had given him from his pack, before heading up to the roof and plopping down.

"What we got here? 'Journey to the West', by 'Anonymous'. ...What a strange name." Ranma opened the book and saw an inscription on the inside cover. 'Ranma-kun, I do hope your date is going well. I know that you are probably not excited about this gift, but I truly believe that if you give it a chance, you will enjoy it, the shopkeeper assured me that it would be appropriate for someone such as yourself. I bought two copies, I will be reading it as well, and I hope that we will be able to discuss what you do and do not like about it sometime soon. Love, your big-sister, Kasumi Tendo.'

"Well, I guess that means I can't just pretend I read it..." Ranma let out a deep sigh, he felt guilty even considering the option, but there was no way he could back out at that point, it was a sort of challenge! Flipping to the first page, he did his best to dive into the story, only struggling with a handful of words.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ranma had read for as long as he was able, until he was catching himself falling asleep. Remembering his promise, he forced himself to crawl back inside, though not wanting to disturb his host, he used the window in the furo, only to find the tub was still filled and covered. Being a heated tub, the water that Hinako had left for him was even still warm, so he decided to rinse off, and take advantage of it.

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Ukyo had finished cleaning, sent Konatsu to relax, and was about to face her moment of truth! It had been a slower-than-usual evening, since many of her usual patrons had assumed she would have taken the night off as well as the afternoon, but since she was not able to be with Ranma, she took solace in making enough to be worth being open.

She groaned as she pulled the large vat back out of its hiding place before carefully removing the seal. "After ten years, it's finally time ta test mah secret sauce!" Dipping her ladle in to collect a very small amount. "Well, it's good an' dark, that's a good sign..." Planning to use this scoop to make herself a treat, she dipped her pinkie into the sauce ladle, and tasted the dab on her finger.

Like a spark, the shock bolted through her, causing the young businesswoman to collapse.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Long, long ago, on a plane of existence far, far away, the balance of the deities, the humans, and the demons was in jeopardy. Alex Trebek read the answers, but they could not get the questions right! Don Pardo was about to tell them what they did NOT win, when suddenly the goddess Nuwa, who strangely looked like Nodoka, not that Ranma was aware of it at the time, who was tired of the constant answers in the forms of questions', exploded into a shower of crystals which rained down upon the three worlds, healing them, repairing the damage, and driving out the game-show demons ...until they felt like coming back.

Inside one such crystal, lodged within a large tree, a small monkey formed. One day, as this golden monkey slowly grew, a small fox spirit approached his protective shell. They were instantly fascinated with each other and spent ages watching each other, until the fox put her paw up to the crystal, and the monkey matched it. Moments later, from the place they touched, an explosion of dark energy injured the tiny monkey's paw and blasted the baby fox far away. The simian screamed, as he pounded on the interior of his casing, helpless as his friend flew away, a menacing plume of black smoke trailing behind her.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Many years later, the monkey spirit had finally escaped and grown strong. He could run faster, jump higher, and swing further than any of the other monkeys, and they happily followed the brave monkey, naming him their king. The 'Handsome Monkey King' protected his people from the dangers of their mountain, and helped them gather food with his great skill, until one day, when their home was visited by a very old looking man who watched them play.

A butterfly had caught the simian sovereign's attention, though the poor thing was far too delicate for the roughhousing of the monkeys. He was grief-stricken to learn that it had died, horrified by the fact that it was even possible. The old man blew a warm breath onto the Monkey King's paw, where he felt the light fluttering of the wings. Opening his hand, he watched in awe as it flew away.

Gathering up many of their favorite fruits and nuts, he offered them to the robed gentleman, begging to be taught. If he could learn that, none of his friends would ever die, and he could protect them forever!

Though hidden behind the false flattery, the old man could sense the sincerity in his pleas, and agreed to take him to train in heaven. Promising to return, he bid his people good bye, and flew away from Mount Huaguo with the old man, on the back of a huge crane.

The Handsome Monkey King was taken to the home of the gods, where he was trained in many arts, from combat to academia, however no one would teach him what he desired, and many of the gods would make fun of him, calling him names. He studied and learned the seventy-two transformations, and was given the name 'Ran Wukong', but still, no one would teach him what he wanted to know, with many looking down on him, calling him an animal, and worse. He was taught staff fighting, and given a nimbus cloud to fly on, and still he could not reach his goal.

He learned so much more quickly than many of the other deities, that they grew as jealous of him as he grew board of the practice. Until one day, while lazing about as the other students practiced, one of the most advanced students had been tired of being shown up by someone who seemed to barely put forth any effort, decided that he would not take the insult any longer, after all, was he not the head of their class, was he not in charge of the 'Blue Thunder'(tm)? Seeing the minor goddesses in his class fawning over the 'dirty ape' irked him far more than he liked to admit. "Leave that cretin alone! A monkey will always be a monkey, you could never become an immortal like that. You cannot become a human just by wearing clothes!"

Using his Monkey style fighting, and his superior transformation skills, Ran Wukong made a fool of the other student, laughing, taunting, protecting the others, and toying with him until their master returned. Most of the students had been amazed at the skills of the monkey king, though the old master was very disappointed by the commotion.

"Wukong, this is supposed to be class, you are supposed to be learning."

"Sure taught that jerk a lesson."

The old man asked his disciple to follow, and led him to the place between the realm of the gods, and the realm of demons, explaining that if he wanted to learn the most positive thing, he needed to tame the wildness that was in his heart. No matter how skilled he became, it was useless if he did not think positively. Succumbing to the taunts of others would not help one attain enlightenment, and being born of both realms, he needed to remain far more vigilant than the others.

Unable to follow the old master back into the heavens, Wukong returned to his home in the mountains, just in time to save his friends from a chaos demon who had invaded during his absence. Realizing that he would not be able to always be around to protect his people, the 'Handsome Monkey King' set off in search of weapons.

Hearing a rumor about a nearby people, who had many weapons, including an 'invincible staff', he traveled to the underwater city of the Dragon King, interrupting a banquette and, in his youthful innocence, made a general nuisance of himself.

Failing to kill the Monkey King, Herb, the Dragon King, instructed his giant sea turtle to give Wukong the weapons he desired, planning to complain to heaven over the loss of his pet, who had made the fateful mistake of trying to eat the Monkey King. As he started to swim away, he saw the pillar of heaven, said to control the calmness of the sea. Wanting to laugh at the failure of the monkey who had shown him up, as well as borrowing his armor and killing his pet, the Dragon King challenged the Monkey King. If he could lift the pillar, he could take it, assuming that, like everyone else who had tried, he would fail to even budge it.

Using his great power, the Monkey King lifted the great cudgel from the ground, causing the stone that had formed around it to shatter and fall, revealing a giant golden staff, which Ran Wukong shrunk to the size of a hairpin, and tucked it into his warrior's braid before swimming off. Unbeknownst to the exuberant Monkey King, the vacuum created by the removal of the huge plug, caused a whirlpool that completely destroyed the Dragon King's palace, and created a tsunami that flooded many nearby lands. It was only through the great power of the Ox King, Taro and his wife, that the demon lands were spared the worst of the damage.

The 'Handsome Monkey King' returned home, distributing weapons to his followers as they celebrated his return. The next day, their patrol caught a band of animal spirits entering their lands and captured them, their leader had been trapped inside a large bubble which they brought before their king.

After several double-takes, the prisoner stared agape at the Monkey King. "It's you! Do ya remember meh? Ukyo, the fox-girl, we met when we were little!"

Flying over, he stared at the girl in the bubble, as they floated around each other before noticing the scar on her hand, and matching it to his own. He popped the bubble and they both fell, tumbling in the soft grass below. "I remember you, Fox-Girl, I remember you!"

Giggling, she pointed back. "Monkey Boy! How ya been?"

Standing proudly, he pounded on his chest. "I WAS the monkey boy, but now, I am Ran Wukong, the Handsome Monkey King! The one and only!" His followers began to chant his title as he encouraged them to be more enthusiastic before he pulled her into a hug. "I missed you! What brings you here?"

Her face grew sad, with a distant look in her eyes, and her furry ears lowered. "Our homeland ...was ruined by a huge wave!"

Ran Wukong looked both nervous and horrified. "Was it yesterday? This big wave?"

Sadly, she could only nod as she looked about to cry.

"Then live here!"

"But, Ah got a lot a' companions.. Ah don't wanna be a bother..."

"It's all right, ya hear that? These are our new nakama now!" Everyone cheered, and began to bring out food and drink for all to share.

The fox-girl's tale of fear, reminded him of his original mission, to gain the power of resurrection! Thus, the next morning, he bid his fellows to be safe, and protect their new friends, before he departed for heaven, in hopes of continuing his training...

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Hinako awoke earlier than usual that morning, she had been feeling much more energetic since acquiring her new aquatic companions, not so much that she did not want her morning coffee, though still enough that she did not oversleep near as often! Her mood took a bit of a disappointed turn as she passed through the changing room on her way to the restroom. After he had promised too. She knew he had been home, either that or they really did have a ghost! However, without him to help her, and not having the maintenance key, she had no way of checking to see if he was sleeping on the roof again.

Coming out of the facilities, she decided she might as well take her bath while she waited, and stripped down before grabbing a towel. Yawning, Hinako rubbed her eyes as she entered the room, the steam only clouding her vision even further, though also alerting her that the water, that she had left for Ranma the night before, must still be there. Spraying herself off, she climbed into the furo, tossing her towel on the floor. There was no sense letting that nice and hot water go to waste!

She was still getting used to using the small tub as an adult, something that she had only been able to do since Ranma won those fish for her. Being smaller than she was used to was one thing, however the moment she sat down, she knew something was wrong, and reaching down, she felt something that definitely should not have been between her legs! Within an instant, she was on the other side of the furo, panting heavily, and far more awake than if she had even drank her coffee. A mixture of thoughts ran though her mind, fighting for dominance.

First she was glad to see that Ranma had not slept on the roof, though the tub was not much better, at least it was warmer than outside... She did, at least, think she now had a good idea why so many girls were fighting so hard to marry the guy, the relevant photograph flashing through her mind before belatedly realizing that it would be best if she let it go... At least the guy was still asleep during her blunder, though her eyes got bigger as it did from her firm grip.

It took her another long moment before it dawned on her that she was, in fact, nude ...in the tub, with one of her MALE students, who was also naked, and that it might be in their best interests if she left ...immediately! Quickly, she climbed out, and made a break for the changing room, only to slip on the wet tile, and slide, on her face, crashing through the door before tumbling into the next room.

Ranma shot up, startled by the noise, the water on his face, and the strange feeling in his lap. Being naked, standing in the furo, and seeing his nude instructor sprawled out in the next room through the open door, he could come to only one conclusion.

Unable to take her eyes off of Ranma's 'morning glory', Hinako just stammered. "Well, you see, it is like this... I-."

"Man, this's been one weird dream! Who're ya supposed ta be, th' goddess a' th' bath er somethin'?"

"No, I..." Her blush grew brighter, realizing there might have been a complement in there, somewhere. '...Did Saotome-kun just compare me to a goddess? Wait, never mind that!' Shaking her head, she tried again to avert her gaze ...and failed. "Dream, sure, that works! Just go back to sleep, and you will wake up soon..." Shuffling back, she then tried to rise with the grace and dignity of a deity, as she closed the door before stumbling out into the hall.

Not awake enough to think, Ranma instinctively used his ki to dry himself as he stumbled to where his bedroll was located in the changing room to pass back out. "Must be ...dream. No way ...could be real. Not clobbered..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Winded from the exertion, Hinako panted with her back against the wall just outside the changing room. She could not believe what had just happened, she really needed to pay more attention to her surroundings! That was not only her student in there, but she was supposed to be his guardian! There was no way she could do anything like that! 'NO! Doing something along that line would cause serious issues! ...No matter how long it is ...er, I mean how long it HAS BEEN! Yes, that is what I meant!' Hinako blushed, unable to forget the firm feeling in her hand.

Thinking about the problems that could arise from having stayed there any longer, she had come to a realization that made her blush brighten further. She was currently in the hallway, near the middle of her apartment, completely nude, and her only clothing, clean or otherwise, was in the changing room, along with her portable closet! Under normal circumstances, that would be the perfect place for it, though with Ranma sleeping in there, and her current situation, it was now more embarrassing than if her dresser had been in her combination living/bed room! That was why she had moved it in there in the first place, she might not get to wear it often, but she certainly did not want any of her few guests to see her lingerie! Some of it was rather racy!

As if that had not been bad enough, she then heard what she could only assume was Ranma moving around in there! If he came into the hall, he would see her, and how would she explain then? She did not really expect the 'dream' excuse to work anyway, but if she was caught out here in the nude, it would certainly blow her cover. Her heart was racing as the sounds suddenly stopped and she considered peeking inside the room... but was worried that he would see her the moment she tried to open the door. Did he go into the toilet, did he lay down, or is he right on the other side of the door about to open it? If only she could see through walls, just like her favorite masked hero!

Listening carefully at the door, she could hear nothing beyond her own heartbeat pounding in her ears. She felt as nervous as delinquent, sneaking out for the night as she crossed her fingers and cracked to the door to peek inside... Seeing Ranma sprawled out on his bedroll sticking out from behind her counter, helped her to relax, and she confidently strolled into the room.

Reclaiming her towel, she spared a glance toward Ranma's face, to assure herself that he was asleep, only to see that he was not covered and almost stumbled back through the door again. She considered going over to cover him, but did not want to get caught, even if she had her towel to cover herself, and frankly, though she was loathe to admit it, she was enjoying the view... It was embarrassing enough for her to have to stand over him to get her clean clothing!

Surprised slightly by the twinge of disappointment mixed with the relief she felt by not falling on him as she grabbed her outfit for the day, and tried to quietly make it back into the furo to finish her bathing and get dressed. She could cover it, or him rather, once she was dressed herself.

Due to some extra 'washing', her morning bath took much longer than usual, however she enjoyed it immensely. She also came to a conclusion, Soun may not have worked out, but once this whole ordeal was concluded, she was going to start dating again! With her new fishy friends, most of her old problems would no longer bother her! She was so excited that she redoubled her efforts, squealing in delight as her breathing increased along with the speed of her hands, almost bouncing in anticipation of good things to come.

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Konatsu had not been to the school very many times, but knew the way around well enough, and had a mission to accomplish. It took little time for the kunoichi to find the room, and locate the target.

"Sensei, I am afraid I must inform you that Ukyo-sama will not be able to attend school this day, and I have been sent to collect any school work that needs to be done." Ranma raced over during the explanation. "We seem to have received some bad ingredients that did not sit well."

Concern for his friend clearly written on his face, Ranma looked into the eyes of the other teen. "Is Ucchan gonna be okay?"

"It did not look good there for a while, but it seems as though everything 'should' be just fine... Food poisoning is not usually too serious after all."

"I do not have the materials now, however I will talk to the other teachers, and have them brought to you before the day is over. It would be best if Kuonji-kun spent the day resting, and not working anyway."

Ranma grabbed the kunoichi by the shoulder, preventing further progress. "Hey, Konatsu-chan, ya sure everythin's gonna be all right, yeah?"

"Fairly. I will pass on your concern, Ranma-sama." Jumping out of the window, Konatsu quickly disappeared from view.

Ranma relaxed with the reassurances, but still silently vowed to visit his friend once school was out, otherwise he would have gone sooner. "I'm goin' anyway, so I'll bring it there."

"Thank you, Saotome-kun, you are a good friend."

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Finally finished with his morning deliveries, Mousse was ready to put his plan into action. He knew Shampoo was planning to spend her lunch break with Ranma, and he planned to make sure he was there to put his foot down! He had read that women liked to be dominated, especially strong women, and not only was Shampoo the strongest woman he knew in their age bracket, but to judge by the way she was generally treated by Ranma, it seemed likely to his way of thinking.

Not wanting to be late, he made sure to stop several people on the way, and ask where Ranma's classroom was located, it would not do to show up to the wrong room! Seeing the nearest female to the desk he was told belonged to Ranma, he ran over and slammed his hand down upon the desk. "I am tired of you ignoring me! I have tried pouring my heart out, I have tried asking in every way I know, I have tried to show you that I love you, I have tried beating Ranma, but all of that has failed! Now, I have one last resort, I will demand that you go out with me, Shampoo!" He placed his hand on her shoulder, turning her around.

The 'Oooo's and 'Ah's filled the room and they all stared in shock at the two teens as Mousse threw his arms around her! None of them were at all surprised when the tall Chinese man exited the room, through the outer wall at a high rate of speed.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Shampoo have new technique, show Ranma, come see Shampoo after working, by self."

Ranma got excited, but was a bit apprehensive, while the techniques at their disposal could be quite powerful, they rarely were willing to teach him anything without some catch. "Really? What kind a' technique? This isn't some kind a' trick er nuthin', is it?"

"Oh no, it too too good technique, Shampoo promise, Airen love if give chance and see to end. Is difficult to master, but make too too good. None can resist!"

Ranma looked interested, he was certain that he could get it in no time, all he needed was to see it in action once, maybe he could save time if he could get a sneak peek. "That good, huh?" Can ya give me a taste a' what it can do?"

It took every bit of willpower she had to resist doing exactly that, but her plan would not work if she did so, and forced herself to bite her lip. "No can do, other people might see, and then secret get out."

"Then can ya tell me why ya teaching me? It ain't like ya let yer secret techniques out often."

"Ranma is Shampoo airen, if accept we married, all secret techniques belong to Airen too. Is reward for taking Shampoo on dates! If up to Shampoo, would teach all know now, but Great-grandmother..." Shampoo stared deeply into Ranma's eyes, looking almost desperate. "Must keep secret, no can find out, could get in trouble..."

"Okay then, fine, I'll be there." Ranma was disappointed, as well as nervous, and yet, the idea of 'secret training' was exciting him, even if something did not feel right. ...Though before he could put his finger on it, something caught his attention. "Oi, Shampoo, isn't that Mousse flying overhead?"

"Aiyaa! Thought mean duck form! Come! Must see what happened!"

They ran over to find an unconscious Mousse ...with his head embedded in a tree. Following the trajectory, they hurried back to the school and started asking around, only to find that the rumors pointed toward Akane. Ranma did not want to confront his ex-iinazuke, but knew that leaving Shampoo to do it alone was likely a bad idea, so he hesitantly followed along.

"Shampoo! Ranma! What do YOU want? Haven't I had enough people interrupt my lunch today?"

One of their classmates look as if they were on the verge of tears, though managed to blurt out, "Yeah! Leave A-kane a-LONE!"

Ignoring the emotional student, Shampoo focused on her target. "Just want ask question. See stupid Mousse get pounded, say Violent-one do, is true?"

"Yeah, so what of it? Came in, groping me, and worst of all, calling me a terrible name, 'Shampoo', I was humiliated!"

The curvy warrior was far too overjoyed to even acknowledge the insult, and took Akane's hand in both of her own, shaking vigorously. "Shampoo want be first to congratulate new sister ...A-ka-ne, on ...nuptials. Hope two, VERY happy for long life! Now Akane Shampoo second favorite person in world! Shampoo thank from bottom of heart!"

Ranma frowned, unsure what to make of that, he did not figure the rules worked like that, since he had beaten Mousse many times and never received the Kiss of Death over it, but maybe there was a reason for it... such as his 'engagement' to Shampoo making him immune, it could also be that males were only compelled on the Kiss of Marriage, since they were hard to come by, or something, he would have to ask later... 'While I wouldn't wish that on no one, it ain't like I know a way out a' it, OBVIOUSLY! I'd say maybe th' tomboy'd learn ta see stuff from my perspective from that, but considerin' th' way Kuno an' th' other guys acted before I even got here, I doubt that'll ever happen...'

The youngest Tendo's world faded to black. When she came to, much later, she found that she was in the nurse's office, and after a quick check, she found that she was still completely dressed! She would not put anything passed any of the boys in their school!

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Before she had returned to class, the rumors had spread all over the school about Akane's brand new fiancee, in fact, the rumors had spread so quickly, Nabiki had been unable to make a single yen from it! She had been SO hoping that it had just been a bad dream! It was just not fair, she thought that things like this were only supposed to happen to BAD people, like Ranma!

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Akane's desk was just glad that she had spent most of the day with the bed in the nurse's office, and that by the time she returned, the day was almost over, it did not think it would last much longer at the rate things were going. Her aura was growing as she ground her teeth as her 'gentle' gaze bore holes in Ranma's head. The teacher was too afraid to say anything, but at least the bell would ring soon.

Akane had missed out on much of the day, and some of her memories were fuzzy, but she was certain she had a good reason for being angry, and that it was all Ranma's fault! What she did not know, was that there was another scene playing out just outside...

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After a very long nap, Mousse had awoken to his dream girl standing over him, her long legs near his head, as he tried to look up ...at her, though with his glasses broken he could not see well. Before he could dig for a new pair, her beautiful smiling face began to speak, explaining what he had missed, and his heart dropped into his gut.

"...Is good match, Shampoo already congratulate ...Akane as new sister! Stupid Mousse want be treated as warrior, need act like one, go fulfill duty!"

"Who? What do you mean, my love?"

"No can call Shampoo that no more. Stupid Mousse have new airen, just here see wake up!"

Mousse was most likely happier not being able to see her evil grin clearly, and thanks to which, his mind raced to the best case scenario. "Oh my sweet Shampoo, you really DO care!"

"No, hate stupid Mousse, only want give news in person! See look on face when know, can no longer have Shampoo, ever, no matter what now."

"OH MY DEAR SWEET SHAMPOO, HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME?"

"Shampoo no do, Mousse do self! Beat by outsider, now must marry, but no worry Mousse." His face lit up, looking hopeful. "Shampoo is sure ...A-kane treat like is accustom." Seeing the bane of her existence's face fall flat, made the young woman have to fight the powerful urge to laugh. "Now, if want be treated as warrior, must act like one, do duty, or is Shampoo make case for exile, so no can even speak Shampoo ever again, or maybe death? Shampoo no care either way, lose all respect for stupid Mousse many year ago, this just see if have any worth at all, or if only use law for force Shampoo into chains!"

The farsighted, part-time waterfowl may not have been able to see the cold disdain on his obsession's face, but he felt the temperature drop several degrees. "Buh-, buh-, but, I love you!"

"Love so much, no care what Shampoo want. Know old saying, 'if one love, let go'!"

"Who are YOU to talk?"

"THAT DIFFERENT!"

"How?"

"Airen LOVE Shampoo!"

"That isn't what Ranma says, you know!"

"Husband just no know better, no know what want!"

"But 'you' do know, 'you' know better than them what they want for themselves, right?"

"NO IS SAME! If Ranma no take Shampoo, then Shampoo accept that, and quietly go kill self!"

The look of horror on the tall boy's face was about what she had expected. "No! You can't!"

"No matter what do, never have Shampoo! Do what need do, or do Shampoo go get Great-grandmother?" The horror turned to sheer panic as he ran for the hills... "Come out now, yes?"

"Well done, how did you know I was here? I thought I hid my aura pretty well."

"Shampoo guess." The old woman chuckled at having been fooled.

"What exactly are you trying to pull off here, child?"

"No is obvious? Marry off stupid Mousse."

"But that law only applies to 'female warriors'..."

"Stupid Mousse no is man!"

"Be that as it may..."

"Hush, Great-Grandmother know, Shampoo know, but THEY no know..." She grinned, thinking of the best case scenario. "If stupid Mousse spend half time bother Akane as do Shampoo, then that kill two obstacle, one stone! Even if no is true, that one think long and hard before bother Shampoo soon! If get lucky, and give girl marriage kiss, then is no backing out, contest done." Crossing her fingers, the young warrior let out a light chuckle. "Is no fault Stupid Mousse only care about part of law help try take Shampoo by force..."

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"Akane-chan, are you sure you want to walk home alone?"

Her friends' concerned looks warmed Akane's heart a bit, and she gave them an amiable smile in return. "No, it's fine, I got something I need to do before I can go home anyway."

"All right, but if you need someone to talk to, you be sure to call us."

"We're your friends, we care about you!"

"Don't you worry, I'm fine..."

"REALLY?"

"Even after ...THAT?" Both of them chimed in, unable to imagine how their friend was handling the sudden change in her life. Even if that Mousse fellow was rather handsome, to have something like that sprung on you suddenly like that was a lot to handle, though perhaps she had been through it enough to have grown accustomed to such things...?

Akane's eyebrow started to twitch and her smile started to fall. Her voice, however, betrayed none of her frustration at the newest turn of events, there was no way she would allow some boy like that to force himself on HER! "Whatever could you mean?"

"Don't you remember?"

"That tall guy from China, the one with the nice hair!"

"Should get contacts though..."

"Aw, glasses are fine, just needs a cuter pair!"

"If you want the guy, go for it, it's none of MY business what you do!"

"That's what you said about Ranma-kun, before you got mad about us even talking about..."

"Yeah, we're NOT going through THAT again!"

"But, I'd never!"

"No, not you!" Giggles erupted between the two girls.

"Well, like I said, I got something I need to do, so I'll see you guys tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay then, but don't forget, we're here for you, should you need us."

"Yes, should you needs us..."

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Hinako was glad to no longer have to supervise the detention class, now that none of the more 'dangerous' students were having to stay after school. It meant she was free to walk with Ranma, check up on her student, and deliver her assignments in person. Once she had finished her staff meeting that, luckily, was devoid of their principal, she shuffled off to find Ranma, who had reluctantly agreed to wait for her. He had been in a hurry to check on his friend, but agreed to help Hinako collect Ukyo's school work while he waited.

Just after passing the gate, neither of them could ignore the rapidly approaching shouts! "Come back here, damn-it! Don't make me chase you all over! You can't leave until we settle this!"

Ranma turned, leveling a gaze at his ex-iinazuke, as she quickly approached. "Settle what, ya tomboy?" He did not even flinch as the fist connected with his face and he rolled with the impact, lessening the damage, not to mention gaining more distance between them.

Akane was not sure why, she had intended to attack Hinako-sensei, however, something about it just felt so 'right', and she just went with it. Old habits are hard to break, after all, unlike bricks! Prior to her recent discovery, beating on boys, especially Ranma, had been her personal therapy, one that had been withheld from her for some time now. It felt good to let loose after so long, she was almost glad he was not letting her pound him flat right away!

Seeing that he was unwilling to defend himself, a surprised Hinako had to think quickly, she held her fishbowl tightly in her left hand, while making the 'okay' sign with her right as she fired off several small ki blasts. "Happo Small Change Return! Halt, Delinquent!"

"Say that BEFORE you fire!" Akane's 'power through everything' method did not give her room to dodge, she barely managed to block, and flew backwards as she was pelted by the energy attacks, experiencing the rare feeling of being knocked into a wall. 'That's not fair, you weren't supposed to do that!' Frustrated, Akane grabbed a piece of broken wall to use as a shield, and charged her instructor.

Akane was growing nervous the more her shield was being blown apart. She could not believe how quickly their teacher could shoot these smaller, less powerful attacks, but even if they were less than a quarter of her usual power, they were rapidly chipping away at her makeshift shield, and pushing her back a bit as each one connected! What worried Akane the most, was that despite throwing as many ki blasts as she had, Hinako had not shrunk back to her child form, which she would normally do after one of her usual blasts! So either she was using much less power per blast, or Akane was in serious trouble! Akane's plan was crumbling, along with the much smaller piece of wall to which she was still clinging.

Ranma hated to see girls get hurt, and it looked to him, as if Akane was going to start losing badly. Hinako was pretty unstoppable anyway, but since the day she found those fighting fish, she tapped into an almost limitless source of ki! If she had not stopped attacking him on a regular basis, he was certain that he would have had to take them away from her at some point.

"How are you still an adult?"

"I am always an adult."

Akane grunted, which was her way of saying, 'Of course I know that!' "Hinako no baka! How are you still big?"

"Oh? Do you somehow believe that would give you an advantage?" Hinako placed the fishbowl on her head and took aim with both hands.

"Oh crud!" Seeing the last of Akane's makeshift shield crumble away, he was unable to help himself, Ranma threw himself between the two women, fully expecting to get hit from both sides. "WAIT! Why ya even fightin'? This makes no sense!"

Hinako stopped suddenly, having to catch her fish as the bowl slid off of her head, and Akane turned her focus back to her former fiancee. "Stay outta this, Baka! I never got involved in your fights, leave me to mine!"

"Huh? Like hell ya didn't, an' sides, ya hit ME first, so yer th' one that got me involved this time too, ya uncute tomboy! If this is yer way a' tryin' ta win me back, it ain't workin'..."

"Who the HELL would ever want to do THAT? I'll NEVER marry a jerk like YOU! This has nothing to do with you!"

"Then why'd ya attack me?"

"You deserve it, do I need a reason?"

"YES!"

"Then just what are you trying to accomplish here, Tendo-san? You need to calm yourself."

"That's what I'm trying to do!"

"Nani-O?"

"This is not a healthy way to work out your frustrations, Tendo-san."

"It's Ranma's fault anyway!"

"I am getting the impression that you are mistaken."

Akane's aura flared up to the sky, Ranma knew to be wary, though Hinako was pretty impressed. "What a baaaaaaad girl, darkening the sky like that! Saotome-kun, be a good student and step aside, let your teacher handle this."

"No! Ya can't!" Ranma did not want to get pounded, but he did not want to see Akane get blasted into the next prefecture either, he tried to block his teacher's point of view, while never taking his weary eyes off of the looming danger.

Too distracted, he never saw Hinako pulling a coin from her pocket, though he did hear her shout, "Happo Fifty-Yen Satsu!"

The aggression completely drained from her and Akane was finally able to relax again. "Oh yeah, that's the stuff..." She floated away on the breeze, more relieved than Ranma had seen her since the day they met ...when she still thought he was a girl. Then she found out he was a guy, and it was just like Shampoo, all over again, as if she always hated him for just existing. It made him think his father's insistence in avoiding women was the right way to go, and considering that his father could be right about ANYTHING, left a sour taste in his mouth.

Ranma was considering making sure Akane got home safely, even if it meant he would have to deal with the fathers as well, though by the time he looked up again, she had floated out of his sight, and Hinako was pulling him by the arm, reminding him that they were in a hurry.

"Hey, but..."

Hinako did not allow him to finish his thought, switching to what she thought was a far more important area of discussion. "Could you not have dodged those attacks?"

"What? You heard it, Akane said not to run... What would be the point? It just makes it worse. All I did was roll with th' blows ta make 'em hurt less, an' ya see how it got..."

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Slowly floating along, Akane made her way home, hoping to avoid her family when she got there, not wanting to explain her current mood. Unfortunately, she had only made it about halfway home when she heard something very disturbing.

"Isn't that Akane-chan?"

"Barely. Hey! Isn't that challenge back on?"

"Well, Kuno-senpai never got a chance to say, but that could work in our favor!"

"Since the engagement to Saotome-kun is over, it WOULD stand to reason..."

"When Kuno's away, the Chem. Club will play!"

Worried, Akane put everything she had into floating slowly toward home. She wanted to get mad, but was unable to find it in herself, in fact she could barely react at all. 'Ranma, you jerk. This is all your fault...'

"Charge!" The group of boys in lab coats dashed forward, intending to make Akane their club's 'plaything', when one by one, they were pinned to the wall by throwing knives with colorful ribbons tied to them stuck through their lab coats.

"Hey! Who did that?"

"Come out and face us, you jerk!" Most of the club members were struggling to get out of their coats, and were having very little luck. The exercise in futility that amounted to their escape attempts ceased as the shock set in, and the laughter started. Seeing a small white duck, wearing large round glasses, with a knife in its beak jump down from a nearby tree, filled them with a surprising amount of mirth. For a brief moment, they even forgot about the unerring accuracy with which said duck had pinned them to the walls, until the gleam off of his spectacles made it appear as if it gave him an evil grin.

Mousse considered impaling them all, but decided it was not worth the trouble, and opted to make even more knives appear for each of the boys from his wings. Throwing his knives so that they embed themselves in the wall, right between their legs, caused several of them passed out from the near-eunuch inducing experience. Seeing the threat nullified, Mousse grabbed Akane by the collar, and flew as quickly as he could. Luckily, without her heavy ki, he was hardly hampered at all.

He easily flew her over the wall, up to her second story window, and with a bit of digging, managed to open it with his beak. Not exactly herself, Akane was grateful for the assistance, and told Mousse to wait there while she floated to get some hot water. As the usually aggressive Tendo made her way back to her room with the tea kettle, she passed a panda holding up a sign which read, 'Ryoga come back?' She shook her head, not really understanding the question.

This gave Genma an idea however, and he started to wonder where the lost boy could have gotten found himself this time...

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Ryoga was, go figure, not sure where he was, though he was quite certain that Furinkan high school was near his present location, which was to say, that he was not even remotely close to his goal. He was in a desert, near a lake, out in a field, so of course the school should be around there somewhere, if only he could find his way out of this closet, or cave, or whatever it was!

A wall of earth jumped up in front of him, blindsiding him, and blocking his path! Ryoga knew just the thing to use in that situation... "Bakusai Tenketsu!"

Unfortunately for him, being underground, when the rocks exploded, they caused the other loose rocks above it, to slide down, blocking his path once again! It was quite frustrating for the boy.

"The ground is too fragile, breaking it up like that won't work..." Ryoga turned to see from where the voice had come, however his low light adjusted eyes were blinded by a bright light, and he could not see what was behind it. "You need a more explosive technique for that kind of work."

"But I have dug myself a tunnel that way before, I used this technique on sand, and it worked then."

"The little explosions heated the sand, melting it a bit, reinforcing the tunnel before the weight of it makes it collapse again, or so I would guess."

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Mousse pulled a spare set of robes out from under his wing, and crawled inside before a reconstituted Akane poured the water. She found herself relieved as well as mildly disappointed, and she could not figure out why that was the case as the Chinese boy returned to his human form, filling out his robes.

Still somewhat embarrassed about taking them to the wrong window first, he was blushing a bit, but even 'with' his glasses, he did not know exactly who lived in each room, so it had been hard for him to find his way, and it was not as if he could have asked.

Akane stared at her 'guest', just waiting for him to try to make his move, so she could clobber him! Surely he would attempt to 'glomp' her or some other thing, just like Ranma always wanted Shampoo to do to him! Thinking about all of the things Ranma and Shampoo were probably doing together, Akane started to work herself up, never taking her eyes off of the boy as he slowly backed away...

"Have I done something to offend, Akane Tendo?"

"Not yet, this time, just stay over there! What do you want? As if I can't guess..."

"There is only one thing I desire."

Akane started to back further away, putting her almost against the far wall, in the tiny room. "Well, you won't be getting it here, you pervert!"

"No kidding..."

"You just stay over there, like I told you!"

"I have not moved..."

"But you're going to ...you know, latch onto me, or something?"

Mousse's voice was flat, and he barely even looked up. "Why would I do that? You are not Shampoo."

"FINE! I KNOW, ALL RIGHT! I know I am not all womanly and sexy like Shampoo! I can't cook, and I am not feminine, FINE!"

'Wait, does that mean, this girl ...'likes' me? What?' The blind boy was stunned, he had no idea what to say to that. "No, I mean, what? What were you WANTING me to do?"

"Nothing! I don't want you to do anything! Stay away from me, you pervert!"

"I just mean I only have eyes for one person."

"Well maybe you should get them checked, again."

"Oh 'ha ha'."

"No, seriously, you are wasting your time."

"You think I do not know that, Akane Tendo? This is not some joke to me, I have spent the last thirteen years in pursuit of my dream, one accident is not going to change my feelings for Shampoo like that. I may not have a lot of room to maneuver for the moment, however I have no intention of forcing you into marriage."

"You're not? I mean, 'good'! It's not like I'd let you anyway!" Akane cracked her knuckles with an aggressive look in her eyes. "I just got out of one unwanted relationship with a pervert, I do not want another one!"

"Nor do I, so the more we can ignore this, the better."

Akane's curiosity could be ignored no longer, and she could not resist the call. "So, um, you always carry extra robes like that?"

"Yes."

"Always?"

"Well, with a curse like this, it's always good to be prepared, it is not as if I want to be caught out naked, I am not some kind of exhibitionist or anything." Looking her in the eyes, he glared, not really appreciating her implications to the contrary. "Though I always did before that anyway, they are white, so as you might expect, they stain easily, so it is always good to be prepared. ...Also, I am kind of shy and do not care to be ...exposed like that."

Akane did not understand, that seemed unlikely, it had to be some kind of trick! All boys were perverts, so wanting to expose themselves to girls was just a given! "Then, if all that's true, then what were you doing following me, like some perverted stalker?"

"I WAS DOING NO SUCH THING! I was ...resting, and hiding from those who would remove that choice ...for both of us."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

The glass against the wall made the already loud voices, clear as a bell, and Nabiki wondered just how she could put this new information to its most profitable use...

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Sorry to those of you who did not like the dream, it was a bit of an indulgence, and I hope you can forgive me. ;)

In case you are curious, my interpretation of the law, is that only women are technically considered 'warriors', so men are not held to the same rules about being forced to marry outsiders. Mousse, having a difficulty reading things that are close to him, only paid attention to the parts that had to do with getting Shampoo to marry him, the rest did not matter to him, so he overlooked the details. Shampoo and Ranma kind of explained that, but I was not certain I was clear, or if I go into it more later. So, while he is not required by law to give Akane the Kiss of Marriage, if he does it 'by choice', then he is required to honor it, which is what Shampoo is hoping to see happen.

If anyone has any other questions, about that, or anything else in here, including the Japanese that I have used throughout the story, I would be happy to answer what I can.

Tune in next time for, 'Unintended Iinazuke', or 'I'm Dreaming of a Fun Adventure'.


	14. Chapter 14

Nobody knows, how little I own, nobody knows, my poorness...

It looks like we are still having issues with comments/reviews not showing up, sorry to anyone I miss.

Chapter 14 - Saucy Slumber

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"Ukyo-sama, may I present, Ranma Saotome-sama, and Hinako Ninomiya-sensei." The cute kunoichi bowed before slipping out of the room.

"Ranchan, ya came ta see meh!" Ukyo sat up quickly, a weak smile upon her face, only to fall back to her pillow, much too dizzy from the exertion.

"Ucchan!" Ranma rushed over, checking her pulse, and feeling her temperature.

'Ranchan held mah hand!' She decided to enjoy the feeling for a moment, and pretend to be faint for a few seconds. She imagined herself being held in his arms, as he carried her to their honeymoon suite. At least until she was startled from her daydream by the voice of her underpaid servant.

"Ukyo-sama, is everything all right? Am I missing an anime for you?"

"Huh? 'Missing an anime'?" Ranma was not sure what that could mean.

"Ukyo-sama allows me to watch shows in the daytime, and relive them later, after school."

Hinako looked down at her with a raised eyebrow. "Have you not heard of a video cassette recorder?"

"This is cheaper." Ranma and Hinako both facefaulted.

Ranma was the first to recover, and tried to change the subject back to his original goal. "Ya feeling better then? Konatsu-chan said ya got a bad shipment, er somethin'...?"

"Not exactly, in fact, it's SO much worse! It was something AH made, with mah own two hands! Oh Ranchan! Ah'm a failure, first as a woman, an' now as a chef too!" Sobbing, she threw her arms around Ranma as he sat next to her bedroll.

"Hey, come on now Ucchan, it can't be THAT bad, after all, 'yer th' best okonomiyaki chef in Japan, maybe even the world'!" Ranma tried to say his friend's motto with every bit of enthusiasm she usually put into her unsupported claim.

Ukyo was happy Ranma was trying to cheer her up, but then remembered the sauce and grew even more depressed. "Ya think so, huh? Care fer a taste?" From seemingly nowhere, Ukyo pulled the jug of sauce, and uncovered it, scooping out a small amount for them to taste.

The instant it touched their tongues, they entered into a mild case of shock! Hinako fainted while Ranma groaned. "Oh damn, that's almost worse than Akane's cooking!"

"See? Ain't no way I can be a chef after making THAT!" Ukyo paused for a moment before looking Ranma in the eyes. "Almost?"

"Well, it is hard to judge anything passed a certain point, but it ain't THAT bad!"

Ukyo suddenly felt even more sorry for her future husband, if he was made to eat something that was actually WORSE than her horrible sauce! She could not believe anyone could cook that badly on a regular basis! Maybe she was not as bad as she first thought! "Still, how could Ah, a master okonomiyaki chef, a' failed SO badly? I'm positive I followed mah father's recipe exactly! Ranchan, ya saw th' jug, do ya remember if Ah sealed it completely?"

"Yeah, I think so... So, yer sayin' this is that same sauce from back then?" Ukyo groaned as she fell back, throwing the covers over her head to hide from the world, while Ranma thought back on that day, remembering how he tried to get a taste early and spilled the jug. Then he had tried to replace it, however he had no idea how to cook, and had not exactly seen the recipe, he had only been slightly paying attention to her when she had made it, so he just threw in a little bit of anything he could find that seemed like food. Had he treated it like a martial arts technique, he might have had a more accurate memory for the ingredients and proportions, but all he had cared about at the time was tasting it, and could not wait ten minutes, never mind ten years! 'I did the best I could, but I never was a good cook...'

Hinako came back into the room, carrying a tray of food, and placing it upon Ukyo's lap. "If bad food got you down, then maybe good food with perk you up! You need to eat, or you will get really sick."

Ranma could not believe what he was seeing, and jumped back in shock. "No! Ya can't! Stop!"

"Thanks, Ah admit, Ah'm a bit hungry, didn't eat last night, not after tastin' that sauce..." Ranma cringed as Ukyo took a bite of the warm porridge. She felt certain her heart stopped as her head hit her pillow, the shock was too much for her system to bear, and her world faded to black.

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Ukyo came out of the fantasy she had been having, though she felts as if she were still dreaming, having awoken while being carried by Ranma, and wondered what was happening. "Okay, Ranchan, remind meh again, what it is Ah'm doin' here?"

"Well, I..." Ranma looked embarrassed, and was staring intently at the way his two index fingers were touching each other when Hinako practically pushed him out of the way!

"It is not as if we could leave you there, alone, like that!" Hinako both felt partly responsible for the girl's present condition, and also wanted to help give her a chance to get closer to Ranma. She had seen how Shampoo had been monopolizing his time, and wanted to give her student a better chance.

"Ah wasn't alone, Konatsu-chan was there..."

"Yes, but..."

"Teach', I know ya wanna help, but ya gotta remember, ya gotta TASTE th' food, before you serve it, make sure it is edible first! Especially if that person's sick!" Ranma turned his attention back to his oldest friend. "Not only are ya sufferin' from emotional trauma, but ya ate Hinako-sensei's cooking!"

"Hey-!"

"Still, it could have been worse..."

"Wait, what?"

"It could have been Akane's, I mean even pops is better, and that man can barely make rice!"

Once again, Ukyo's heart went out to Ranma, her own problems almost paling in comparison, as hard as her life had been, she had never been without good food. She barely noticed as they entered Hinako's small apartment.

Having tasted it after the fact, even Hinako had been surprised, she had heard stories from the Home Economics classes, however she was finding it difficult time believing anyone could be THAT bad! She had always had the enthusiasm, but the kitchens were made for adults, and she always had a hard time with it, when it was time to cook, instant was just easier! "Do not worry, it will be like a sleep-over, we can play games, watch anime, do make-overs, and tell ghost stories! All the stuff girls are supposed to do at slumber parties!"

"But, I'm not..."

"That can be remedied..."

"Urk!" Ranma wanted to object, but felt guilty about his part in the 'sauce fiasco', and wanted to make it up to her. "Fine, whatever..."

Giggling a bit, Ukyo was excited, not only would she get to spend time with Ranma, but she had never had 'girl friends' growing up, not since 'that' day, anyway. It was almost too good to be true!

Ranma felt a bit of relief as it seemed his friend was already starting to feel a bit better.

The knock at the door, brought her out of her daydream, and back to reality. 'If it seems too good ta be true, it probably is...'

Hinako tried to keep Ukyo excited for the fun they were sure to have, while Ranma answered the door. "Oh, hey Kasumi-san, what's up?" Seeing the quizzical look he received, his memory was jogged. "Oh, right, lessons... sorry, it has been a strange day..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

As Ranma explained what had happened, and why Ukyo was there, Kasumi grew more and more excited. "Oh my! A slumber party? That sounds like fun! I never was able to have one of my own, I only ever had time to supervise the ones my sisters had. I know it is rude of me to ask this, though-"

"Tendo-san, did you want to join us?"

For some reason, seeing the blush, smile, and nod from the older girl made Ranma feel better about the situation, and he relaxed ...slightly. With Kasumi there, he felt as though they would finally have a proper chaperone.

Pouring a glass of water over Ranma's head, Hinako turned to the other women in the room, and asked, "So, what would you little maniacs like to do first?"

"I should probably call Father..." Hinako and Ukyo got lost in their own thoughts as Kasumi went over to pick up the phone. "Yes Father, I will be staying the night with a friend. Yes, dinner is in the cooler, even you can heat it up, I left instructions for you. ...Yes, I WILL be home first thing in the morning. ...No, you do not need to worry at all. Good night, and tell my sisters that I love them."

Looking at Ranma, the others got a twinkle in their eyes, and all said, "MAKOVER!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Tendo-kun, your eldest certainly seems to be spending an awful lot of time away from home these days..."

"Yes, it does seem so." The tall man's tears slowly started to flow. "My little girl is growing up so fast! It seems like only yesterday..."

"Yes, yes, but think what would happen if, by chance, Kasumi-chan decides to have breakfast with her friend? What happens if your daughter decides to spend a whole weekend with them some time? You know what would happen around here, right?"

A look of absolute panic mixed with abhorrence crossed the tall man's face as he considered the likely probability of events.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ranma was looking incredibly unhappy and uncomfortable sitting there in his cursed form, wearing skimpy and lacy underwear like the rest of them, while clenching his eyes closed, making sure it was obvious that he was NOT looking ...at ANYTHING.

Most of his class, would have killed to watch Hinako running around gathering toys, games, videos, snacks, and anything else that came to mind after changing into the same teddy she had worn in one of her earlier attempts to seduce Soun, before the truth of his personality had come out. Sure he was a very kind man, but he also had a rather abusively neglectful side, and any man who could force his daughter to marry a man she hated and abused, was not one she could see herself spending her life with. She would rather be alone!

Things were looking up for her however, she may not be dating, but she had friends, and a way to stay an adult full time, it was just a matter of time before she could find someone to love her, even with her problem. It had never been her top priority anyway, having never really expected to find anyone she could like, who would not be bothered by her issues, so why get her hopes up? However there was always that little voice of her mother... nagging her, telling her that she was not getting any younger! She had locked the ironic voice away, and had been able to ignore it, at least until she had met that man, reminding her of her real age, and how society treated women who start to near thirty, when her mother's voice refused to be neglected any longer. Listening to that voice had caused her a lot of embarrassment, even going so far as to crawl into bed with her student, to drain him before she made her move! The whole evening had been one disaster after another, and she was glad to put the whole fiasco behind her, especially after their trip to China.

On the other hand, none of that mattered at that moment, the only thing that immediately concerned the educator, was helping one of her students out of her funk! Not that she would admit it, but she was also quite excited, thanks to her poor health as a child, she had never had a proper slumber party either, and she wanted to do all of the things that friends do at such events! It was going to be a long night...

Kasumi was just putting on the finishing touches, taking in one of Hinako's old silk teddies, making it look cute on Ukyo's smaller figure. After tying the large bow on the front, she stood back and smiled. "There you go Kuonji-san, you look just adorable!"

After admiring herself in the mirror, Ukyo thanked Kasumi with a tear in her eye, before turning back to see Ranma, whose face was still scrunched up. "Okay Ranchan, ya can open yer eyes now."

Ranma violently shook his head, grunting a negative response. "Nuh-uh!" Every time they got close, Ranma would turn, and face the other way, and eventually stopped trying, before helping Hinako prepare things, such as preventing her from actually cooking anything!

"Ah still can't believe ya wear such sexy lingerie, it just seems so, outa character from what Ah thought Ah knew about ya, so Ah gotta ask, is there a reason?"

Kasumi's blissful smile set the pair at ease, though they were not sure as to why they were tense in the first place. "Mother left them for me."

Ukyo was partially amazed, but also somewhat melancholy. "Really? Must a' been SOME mom, mine died when Ah was born, so nevah knew th' woman."

Without anyone pressing Ranma to look, the gender bent martial artist was able to relax and join in the conversation. "Yeah, me neither. I assume I had ta have one, I mean everyone does, right? But I got no idea, can't remember nuthin'. Probably dead, I guess, I mean, what kind a' person'd let someone like Pops raise their kid alone, right?"

"It IS perty crazy, Ranchan..."

"Oh my, well, I mean, ...that is, but-" A flustered Kasumi had taxed her ability to look on the bright side, and for one of a very few times in her life, most of which also involving Genma, she came up blank, and her smile ...faded. "No, I am so sorry Ranma-kun, but you are most likely correct. I just ...I just cannot imagine anything in reason."

"Hey, don't be sad, it ain't yer fault my family's messed up, so cheer up!" Using his ki sense to judge where everyone and everything was located, he picked up a few of Hinako's small toys and started to juggle. This created a show that many of the men around town, several women too, would have done almost anything to witness, or better yet, record. Even the three women who were there and able to watch, were amazed by how ...entertaining they had found it. It was almost hypnotic, watching the healthy body jiggle, just 'busting' with life energy.

Ukyo was both aroused and jealous, Ranma had needed almost no 'adjustments' to fill out a set of Hinako's old bra and panties, though a small part of her mind was beginning to think that perhaps a 'husband' who looked like that part time might have some fun uses after all... She also took solace in the fact that they had found a teddy, similar to the one Hinako was wearing, that thanks to Kasumi's help, fit her quite well, if she DID say so herself. She might not look as sexy as Hinako, nor as beautiful as Kasumi, however she had never in her life felt so feminine! When Hinako had told her that she could keep it, she had almost kissed the woman on the spot! Though with Ranma there, she was thankful to have been able to resist the urge, there was no way she wanted to give him the wrong idea!

Hinako was just fascinated, partially due to the jiggling flesh, but mostly by the fact that she had not seen Ranma open his once, not even a bit! "Are you sure your eyes are closed all the way, you're not peeking, not even a little?"

"OF COURSE NOT! I wouldn't do that!"

Kasumi cutely scratched her head, trying to puzzle something out, getting almost embarrassed at her own train of thought. "But Ranma-kun, if you can see with your eyes closed, then how does closing them help?"

"Hey, just 'cause I can tell where stuff is, doesn't mean I can 'see' it, I just 'know' where it is." Ranma turn his head to face Kasumi, not opening his eyes, nor missing a beat. "It's just like how you can tell when someone is sneaking up behind ya. Keep practicing, an' I'm sure ya'll get it soon."

"Oh my yes, like the other day, on the roof!"

"Exactly!"

"Oh my, I 'see'..."

Ukyo was pulled out of her fantasy for a moment, trying to fathom what she had just heard. 'Wait, was Tendo-han ...TRAINING? ...Naaaaah, couldn't be... Ah must be hearin' things.' She gathered up all of her courage, refusing to allow herself to back down, her nervous sweating gave her skin a light shine, and looked up from where she was sitting, trying to look at Ranma's face, but avoiding the eyes. "Ranchan, ya don't gotta keep yer eyes shut ...Ah don't mind, if yer th' one lookin'."

"I can't do that, it ain't right, I'm a guy!" Ranma could not see the incredulous looks being given, but could feel them intently.

"With a body like that, you are not making a compelling case, Saotome-kun..."

"You must admit, you do LOOK like a girl, Ranma-kun." Seeing the hurt look on her friend's face, she instantly regretted her words. "I'm sor-..."

"That don't matter! I am a man where it's important!"

"Oh really? Ah don't see nuthin' down there..." Ukyo chewed on her thumbnail as she imagined what she longed to see.

"Huh? I mean, I'm still me, inside, I'm still a man, in my heart, in my mind, no matter what I look like, er what ANYONE wanna think about me!"

"But, Ranchan, they went ta th' trouble a' making meh up, Ah can't let it go ta waste, so Ah WANT ya ta see meh!"

Ranma could not believe his ears, and barely even noticed when the items being juggled performed their skull bouncing trick, before landing on the floor. "But... can't ...not ...pervert!"

"Kuonji-san does make a good point, Ranma-kun. It is terribly rude to ignore someone who has gone to such effort on your behalf."

"But, but... I'm not ...so how? It's not-."

"History is not my main area of expertise, however, as an English teacher, I can tell you that the idea that nudity was shameful came from the missionaries from the west. For many eras, we have had a ban on lewd acts, but prior to their influence, the act of simply being nude was not considered such an act." Seeing that Ranma had not relaxed at all with her brief history lesson, she switched tactics slightly. "If that does not convince you, then consider this, we are not nude, we are all wearing clothing, western clothing, in fact."

Even though she was embarrassed herself, and Kasumi had plenty of motivation for such, being far more exposed than she generally considered exactly 'proper' especially in light of current company, however she did her best to think of Ranma as her cute younger sibling, who she very much wanted to help, and being the first slumber party to which she had been invited since her mother had passed, she really wanted to enjoy it with her friends! She was already planning to arrange another one soon, where she could invite her other friend as well. She had briefly considered asking Hinako about calling Shampoo that evening, but considered what the younger girl might consider 'sleep wear', and thought better of it. She decided she needed to plan the event VERY carefully, including going shopping for a nightie with the girl. "Ranma-kun, remember, we are all friends and family here, and there is nothing wrong with nakama seeing each other dressed in sleepwear, right? How many times have you walked around the house in nothing more than your boxers, with or without your tank-top, in either gender?"

Ukyo was instantly jealous, that is, before she faded off, imagining both male and female Ranmas running around the small room, 'playing' together in various states of undress, and started to drool.

Ranma flinched at the word 'friends', and even he was unaware as to the 'why' of it. "But, that's different!"

"How?"

"That's 'cause I'm-"

"I do hope you are not going to say 'a boy', Ranma-kun. There are many ways that logic is faulty, the least of which being that you had told me how much that unfair treatment from my sister hurt you."

"Uh ...no, I was gonna say 'cause I'm wearin' boxers, not girls' underwear!"

"Oh my, do you think that makes any difference, do you really believe that we have not seen things with all of the running around that you do in them?" Trying to make her point, Kasumi did something she almost never stooped to doing, she exaggerated ...slightly. "I can assure you, that Akane-chan was far from the only member of the household who has seen your 'member'."

Jealousy slapped the okonomiyaki chef across the face once again, not having seen him completely and in person, since they were children! Ukyo had to silently thank Nabiki for the recent photograph, still hoping for a live demonstration. "Not ta mention th' rest a' th' school..."

Unbeknownst to the two, their minds were aligned, and her comment, while overlooked by the others, reminded Hinako of a certain picture she had also 'found', even if she was still assuming it was the only copy floating around. Her mood dropped slightly, knowing that she would have to have that talk with Nabiki one of these days soon, and she was not looking forward to the event.

"Urk!" Embarrassment flooded in, Ranma had never considered anything like that, after all, 'it WAS different when a girl looked at a boy', was it not? Having grown up with his father, personal modesty was a luxury he had never really been allowed. They had bathed, and washed their only outfit, in rivers, streams, and the like, but since arriving in Nerima, he had found that him seeing others was simply not acceptable. "But, girls don't look at guys like that?"

"Now Ah know yer kiddin', that's just crazy talk!"

Kasumi thought she would try a different angle, and challenged his honor. "Like 'what', Ranma-kun? Are you saying that you would look at us with perverted thoughts?"

"NO!"

"Then what is the problem?"

"I DON'T KNOW! Okay? No body ever explained any a' this stuff ta me, I don't understand none a' it! All I know is normally I would a' been pounded by now just for bein' in th' room, so I don't wanna push my luck!"

Knowing that he was primarily referring to Akane's penchant for swinging first, asking questions later, and listening to the answers never, Kasumi felt another pang of guilt over her part in forcing the two of them together. "Oh Ranma-kun, you do not need to worry about that any longer, my little sister is not here, and I will do everything I am able to prevent you from having to go through that again!"

Kasumi was caught off guard by the arms that were suddenly found around her waist, squeezing her more tightly than was exactly comfortable. "Ya made meh th' happiest girl in th' world!"

"Oh my! Kuonji-san, could you ..stop that, please?"

"Okay then, Saotome-kun, if you will not relax, and have fun with us, then you shall be punished!"

Her wink went unseen by Ranma, whose eyes stayed closed while bracing for the 'attack', ready for either draining, or being blasted into the sky. What he did not expect, was for his homeroom teacher to pounce on him and start tickling, before the other two women giggled and joined the fray.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

It took some time before they had gotten Ranma to relax and start to enjoy himself, but once Hinako had made a Street Fighter challenge, the cursed boy in a girl's body had no choice but open his eyes to play. Ranma had tried, but was unable to manage to time the moves correctly without the ability to see the screen, ki sight only went so far after all. He might have been able to see things based on how bright or dark their aura was, but details were beyond him. He could see the television, and even the energy running through it, but not what was on the screen itself.

Ranma had directed all of his attention toward the screen, doing his best not to allow himself to be distracted, though judging by the excitement in her voice, Ranma had expected to see the younger Hinako when finally glancing her way while instinctively taunting after wining the latest fight, and was stunned to see her very adult curves, barely covered by silk and lace, sitting right beside him. His voice cut out mid-taunt before slamming his eyes closed again, and turning back to the television.

Hinako was not expecting the pain in her chest, from the reaction she had received. She knew that he did not mean anything, however her feelings protested, she could not help but to feel a twinge of pain. No one wanted to be thought of as ugly after all. "What is it, Saotome-kun? Is my appearance that hideous to you?" If nothing else, perhaps she could goad him into relaxing, it was not as if she were particularly shy or anything.

"NO! Of course not!"

"Then, what about meh? Am Ah th' ugly one? Were ya lyin' when ya said Ah was cute?"

Ranma was unable to speak, the blush covering far more than the loaned underthings, and the embarrassed martial artist could only manage a violent head shake.

"Oh my, that only leaves me! Am I the reason?"

"Well, yeah, an' no, it's all a' ya, but not 'cause yer ugly, er nuthin', it's th' opposite! It just don't seem right! It just feels ...wrong, I don't know... Yer almost naked!"

Something occurred to Kasumi, and what she was about to say, caused her to glow with a light blush herself. "Ranma-kun, we went to the beach together, did we not?" The patient young woman waited for her friend's hesitant nod before continuing. "If you recall, the swimsuit I wore that day did not cover any more than this, and many of the women wore bikinis that covered much less. You had no problems keeping your eyes open that day, if I remember correctly, so how is this any different?"

"I don't know, it just is! ...An' I was too busy tryin' ta stop th' old man, ta worry about who was wearin' what. That bracelet was scary!"

"Oh, now ya sound like Akane-chan..."

"What, 'cause I think that a pill that can make ya fall in love with th' first person ya see is scary?"

"No, 'cause a' bein' a hypocrite. Ya had no problems before that craziness, don't think Ah didn't hear all 'bout that one!"

Ranma flinched as Hinako placed her had on his shoulder to reassure him. "No, you are correct, it IS a bit different, the material is thinner, and so on, however, it is only 'wrong' to do, when you do not have permission. While we are living together, we are family, I trust you, and I would like us to be friends as well. In this small of an apartment, accidents are bound to happen anyway. You have had ample opportunity to have tried something if you had any such motivation, but to the contrary, you have gone out of your way to avoid even appearing to have any interest at all-."

"I don't!"

"Ouch." All three of them felt a stabbing pain in their chests, despite knowing he would never intentionally imply that they were in any way ...undesirable, however, Ranma was never known as a 'thoughtful speaker'.

"Ya don't gotta be so blunt about it, ne Ranchan?" Ukyo fought hard to resist the urge to cry, and tried to convince herself that he only meant Hinako and, the 'other' ...surely it could not have meant HER by that!

"Oh..." Once Kasumi had realized that her sister had done more than just mild exaggerations in regards to Ranma's behavior and saw first hand how he resisted, the other girls' affections, combined with his saving her from that Prince Kirin, her trust in the boy had grown considerably, and she had little doubt that his intentions were nothing less than honorable. The eldest Tendo daughter had always considered herself to be little more than a frumpy stand-in housewife, and so had no serious expectations of any man finding her attractive, or exciting, unlike all of the other young women she knew, though it still hurt to be reminded of the fact. It did not last long however, after all, she was not the one she was trying to help!

"Now, as I was saying, before I was so 'rudely' interrupted, we trust you, we know that you are not a lecher, like Happosai, however, you are also not a 'normal' man your age either, and while being different is not a bad thing, what you have is a debilitating issue. I may not be qualified to help you with your 'other' problem, but this one is not as deep, and I believe we can help you overcome this issue. You just need experience handling women-."

"Ranchan can 'handle' me anytime!" Ukyo started to sneak closer, but was stopped by a look from their teacher.

"That is not what I meant. Even if you do prefer men,-."

"Fer what?"

After picking themselves off of the floor, Hinako was the first to recover. 'I was afraid we were going to have to have that class ...eventually.' "Never you mind that, for now I want you to relax and just pretend we are at the beach, wearing very cute swimsuits. ...Or would you rather be 'punished' again?"

"Can't you three play, and let me just go read, er something?"

"Oh no ya don't, Ranchan, it's mah turn ta fight th' winner!"

"As much as I hate to sound as though I am discouraging reading, this is something you really need to work on improving, Saotome-kun."

"Ranma-kun, your father left a huge gap in your training, so to thank you for the lessons you have given us, please allow us to train you. By not allowing you to socialize as a child, especially with girls, you have a hole in your training almost as bad as that Hibiki fellow."

Jumping on the bandwagon, Ukyo tried to twist the knife. "Hey, yeah, yer always makin' fun a' Ryoga fer not being able ta look at girls, an' here ya are doing th' same! Think about how easy ya make that guy lose it when yer shirt rips or somethin'. Ya wanna be like that, 'er ya gonna let us train ya?"

The only thing that hurt more than being compared to Ryoga was his father, or perhaps even worse, Happosai or Tatewaki Kuno... "Ya think so, huh? Why don't ya try an' see how defenseless I am?"

"Open yer eyes, an' Ah will..."

"Hey, that's cheating!"

"That's th' point, Aho. Ya clearly need lots a' trainin'." She started stalking closer, preparing to restart the tickle wars.

"Hey!" Ranma stood up straight, facing Ukyo, looking very determined.

"It ain't trainin' if it's easy. Now, be a man, an' open yer eyes an' look at meh, Ranchan! We ain't gonna bite!" A grin crept over the chef's face, along with a pink hue. '...Unless ya want meh ta...'

"FINE THEN! I will! Don't blame me! I ain't doin' this cause I wanna er nuthin'!" Bracing for impact, Ranma slowly opened his eyes and looked directly into Ukyo's own.

"See, that ain't so bad... is it?"

"Never said it was."

"Then that's th' problem?"

"I told ya, I ain't a pervert!"

"There's nuthin' perverted about this, we're just good friends, havin' a girl's slumber party, and havin' fun."

"But I ain't a gi-!"

"Just pretend, fer meh? Ah ain't never been ta one a' these parties, an' Ah want mah best friend here with meh, pleeeeeeaaaaaase?"

Ranma could not withstand the puppy-dog look and caved, however, being Ranma, still needed to find a way to come out on top. "But, then why's it matter if I was a girl for it?" Ranma thought that logic was sound, and assumed to have gotten the better of the argument.

Getting an evil grin on her face, Ukyo grabbed a cup of hot tea. "Yer absolutely right, why don't we change ya back right now, Ah know Ah'd like ta see that, what about you girls?"

Hinako remembered seeing him in the bathroom that morning with a start, and Kasumi just blushed profusely, flashing back to memories of her own. "Oh my..."

"Wait, no, ya can't, not like this!"

"What? I thought it didn't matter..."

"Of course it matters, when I'm dressed like THIS!" Ranma indicated the underwear they had 'forced' him into wearing.

"Okay then, let's not hear no more about it. Relax an' have fun, er Ah will. Ya said ya'd help ta cheer meh up, and Ah'll take mah cheer where it comes..."

"Fine, I get it..." Ranma's eyes dropped to the floor, however they remained open.

"Ranma-kun, the proper thing to do here is to tell a girl how cute they look..."

"Or not, if that's th' case, Ah guess..."

"Well, that is not very nice."

"Neither is lying... Ah'd rather know what ya really think, don't spare mah feelin's." Ukyo cringed, expecting the worst.

"Well ...I suppose, but..." Kasumi was not sure how she felt about that, but let it pass, not wanting to upset anyone.

"Um, well, that is, I mean, ya do, ya all do... really." The red-head scuffled and shuffled along, not wanting to look too closely at anyone.

After recovering from the forced compliment, Ukyo's tried to contain her excitement. "Okay! Now that ya gave ya word, Ah know ya'll honor it, so let's play!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

The rest of the evening had gone, more or less, quite well, with the exception of Ukyo's bumbled attempts to 'accidentally' splash Ranma as they played various games. At one point, Kasumi was trying to fix the red-head's hair, who had to jump back, managing to not get wet, but landing in the elder girl's lap, much to her undisclosed enjoyment, and Ukyo's annoyance. Kasumi had also managed to prevent any of the younger girl's suggestions of 'kissing' related games, assuming that Ranma would likely run if they tried.

Being the only one who had even seen a real slumber party in the last decade, Kasumi insisted that the proper way for them to sleep, was to take all of the bedding in the house, clear a place on the floor, and make a large bed for all of them to share. Ukyo was thrilled, suggesting that it would be just like when they were children. Hinako had been so excited by the idea, that Ranma seriously considered that the woman needed to cut back on her sugar intake... Ranma had tried to sneak off to the other room, wanting to continue reading, and not be in the 'pile-up'. However, the others were not having any of that, and would not release their grip on the young man.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

The women's grasp had only tightened in their sleep, with Ukyo having somehow managed to roll on top of Ranma. What surprised him more than anything, was once again being male... The bent hooks of the bra were poking him in the back from where it had popped open, and the tiny panties were not near enough to contain anything. With an 'Eeep', he managed to finally work his way out of the pile, and ran for the changing room after grabbing some 'proper' clothing, completely unaware that one eye, tired from barely sleeping, watched every detail of his speedy retreat.

Ranma had felt an intense emotion for a moment, but it vanished as quickly as it came so he relaxed for the first time in almost a day, allowing himself to soak in the early morning steam, and glad that he had awoken before everyone else. 'Oi, I never thought that Ucchan'd take that stupid sauce to hard... Gotta be some way to make things better.' Ranma had just stood up, planning to get in a bit of exercise before he made breakfast, when the door opened.

Not having her yukata, Ukyo walked in, wearing only a towel, and holding a sponge. "Good morn' Ranchan! Let meh wash yer back fer ya!" Ranma instantly ducked mostly under the water, slowly peeking back out to see Ukyo lathering up a sponge. "Ah might be depressed, but Ah can't just lay around all day. Okay, come on, Ranchan."

Ranma tried to back off, waving his hand in front, trying to ward her off. "Hey! Wait!"

Ukyo tried her best to steal glances under the water, but could not get a clear view. "Aw, don't ya be silly, we're childhood pals, ya ain't gotta be so shy!"

"Well, yeah, but we... an'..." He looked away, trying to think of anything to get him out of the uncomfortable situation.

"Hey, don'tcha even think a' runnin' away, yer skin's all red, ya gotta make sure ya wash good!"

"But, I don't need... already did..."

"That's enough of yer back-talk Mister! Now just git yer cute fanny on ta this here stool! Ah wanna see yer ...good an' clean."

Ranma was uncomfortable, however he was unable to think of any excuse that would get him out of it, so just did his best to keep himself covered as he followed orders, unsure exactly where his own towel had gone. "Shouldn't I at least be a girl, er somethin'?"

"NO! I mean, 'why would ya ever need ta do that?' We're friends ya know, an' Ah accept ya, as ya are."

"Can't I at least get a towel?"

"Hush, Ranchan."

"But..."

"Shhhhh... Ya've been so nice ta meh after mah failure, Ah wanna do anythin' Ah can ta say thank ya. Now ya jus' relax, an' let yer old Ucchan take care a' ya. ...Good, now lift yer arms. OH THANK YOU!"

"Nah, thank ya, yer actually not too bad at this... Did ya get a lot a' practice growin' up?"

"NO! This is th' first time Ah ever done anythin' like this!"

"Well, yer pretty good, almost as good as-..." Ranma was interrupted by the unexpected sound of the door opening.

"Oh my, were you in here? I had assumed you had gone out to exercise. What, are you both ...doing?"

Seeing Kasumi in her towel, with her hair unbound and flowing down her back, Ukyo felt disheartened. Not for the first time in her life, she thanked her stars that Akane had been the one chosen, and not Kasumi, however, just showing up ...looking like THAT, did not make her feel good about her continued prospects. She desperately wanted to scream at the older girl to leave them alone, kick her out, and barricade the door! She was finally making REAL progress, and here was Akane's oldest sister, interrupting at every opportunity! The older girl did not SEEM to be aware of what she was doing, but her timing was always so good that it was hard to believe that it was not intentional.

The young chef stood up and faced her self-identified 'foe'. "An' thanks fer bein' so nice ta meh, Ah was washin' Ranchan's back, and now it's time ta return th' favor, so if'n ya don't mind ...having a seat here, Ya can git yer turn havin' Ranchan wash yer back!" Ukyo was shocked by the words out of her own mouth, though it gave her an idea, while she DID want to have Ranma wash her back, she could get a better view from another angle, as opposed to keeping her back toward him! At one time, she would have worried about her objecting for some prudish reason, but ever since she saw Kasumi's style of undergarments, she had revised her opinion of the older girl.

"Oh my, that is so kind of you! Why don't you sit in front of me, and I will wash your back as well. You do not mind, do you Ranma-kun?"

Ranma was too stunned to do much more than try to continue hiding himself, and shake his head, though the look in his eyes said, 'just let me die'. On the other hand, the fact that he would not have to wash two people, meant he might get out more quickly, so he decided to cut his 'losses'.

Ukyo wanted to protest, if she sat in front of Kasumi, then both of her plans would foiled, she could not allow it to happen, and yet again she found it impossible to resist Kasumi's gentle, yet firm demeanor. With a defeated sigh, she plopped down on the floor. "Thank ya, very much."

Kasumi gently sat on the stool, loosening her towel, and exposing her back to a skittish Ranma, the idea of which caused her a bit of a blush. Ever since she had washed his back, they had been having more and more of these little 'meetings', and it was almost starting to feel 'normal', and that surprised her. Despite the engagement being broken, she still felt as though he was her younger brother, or even sister, which was the only thing preventing her from wanting to die of embarrassment during these times. She already had enough concerns about not being able to get married before it was too late, and being seen by a man who was not 'family' while she was nude would certainly not help matters ...no matter how well built that man might be.

Unseen by the others, Kasumi blushed again, trying to put that 'naughty' little voice in a 'happy place', all the while it was telling her that it was already in one!

Ukyo was staring forward, wishing there was a mirror in the room while Ranma was doing his ever-loving best to look anywhere EXCEPT right in front of him, where the two, almost, naked women were sitting.

Ukyo could not believe how much she was enjoying the feeling of the other woman's hand on her back, say what one liked, but there was no knocking her skill. She was really finding it difficult to maintain her animosity over the missed opportunity as all of her stress seemed to melt into the floor.

Trying to distract herself from how good the fingers felt, as they instinctively worked out all of the knots in her back she had not even been aware of before, Kasumi tried to talk about something else ...and failed. "Ranma-kun, may I ask why you are nude? Where is your towel?"

Blushing, he stumbled over his tongue trying to explain while attempting to hide himself while his hands were busy. "Uh... Not sure? I had it when I came in here, but Ucchan ...washed back ...can't find ...not my fault!"

Kasumi glanced around the room, looking for the missing towel, and caught an glimpse of something else out of the corner of her eye. "I see. I-... Oh my! I, I..."

"Somethin' wrong, Kasumi-nee-san?"

"NO! I, oh dear, it was just, oh my..."

Ukyo had a feeling she knew what had happened, and was trying to turn her head to see as well, but her vision was blocked by someone who kept seeming to get in her way. Here had been her opportunity to get closer to Ranma, and she kept getting blocked from his ...friendship. She needed to step up her game, once again, if she wanted to make real progress. All the time she had spent competing with Shampoo, she had done so many things of which she was not proud, and other things for which she was not ready, but it was all to realize one of her two dreams, and clearly, it had not yet been enough, she would have to push herself even harder!

"Oooooh Myyyy, Ranma-kun, you are VERY good at this!"

"Oh, yeah, I guess I HAVE had a lot a' practice, Pops back IS pretty big..."

"Well, you certainly have a gift, you are quite 'skilled with your hands', I must say."

Through all of the years of harsh training, Ranma's skin and muscle tissue had grown dense, and he had found only one way to really give himself a good massage, which was to use his ki as an extension of his fingers. It was loosely based on a punching technique he had learned, allowing him to strike something much further away than his arms should be able to reach, and after Ryoga had toughened himself up with the Bakusai Tenketsu, he had repurposed it to allow him to penetrate deeply. It was certainly better than hitting the guy thousands of times in one spot, and he was sure there were many other uses for it that he had not yet considered.

Kasumi's moan was a testament to the effectiveness of his technique, and Ukyo's frustrated groan was a natural reaction to it, particularly in light of Kasumi's hands forgetting to move for long moments at a time. Not only was she jealous of Kasumi getting HER backwashing, but to make it worse, when Kasumi felt good, Ukyo would lose out on her 'consolation prize', making her feel even more neglected.

Once Ranma had finished, and Kasumi felt as if she could barely move, Ukyo gave Ranma her best 'sultry' look. "Well, come o'er here with yer 'Magic Fingers', an' ...wash ..meh." Ranma was confused, but was reluctantly moving forward to do as instructed.

Kasumi looked up with an apologetic, yet exhausted expression. "I am sorry. Did I not do well enough?"

"No, ya did great, in fact, Ah nevah felt better, er more clean, actually..." The young chef slumped over in defeat, but brightened for a moment at the idea that Ranma had to be getting back in the tub to soak after being washed, and she would be able to get at least an eyeful then!

Still trying to rub the sleep out of her eyes, Hinako entered and blinked a few times, trying to make sure she was really seeing what she thought was there, figuring that she just HAD to still be dreaming.

"Why does everyone keep walking in here? Hinako-sensei really needs ta get an 'occupied' sign fer that door, not that anyone pays attention to it when there is one out there I guess..."

"If someone remembers to hang it, that is..."

"Urk! Hey! It wasn't usually ME that forgot!"

"Ooooo! It sounded like everyone was having fun, and I did not want to be left out! Hinako-chan wants to play too! What, ARE you all doing in here anyway? Tendo-san, are you all right?"

"Never, been, better, Ranma-kun ...washed back! Tinglies. Never felt anything like it."

"Oooooh, really? THIS I have just got to ...see." Stripping off her teddy, Hinako gleefully plopped down on the stool in front of Ranma, seemingly unconcerned about her nudity in her childlike exuberance.

"Aw, no fair!"

Ranma was hesitant, but his higher brain functions had mostly given up the ghost long ago, and he was slowly becoming numb to the panic that had always occurred when a woman tried to get too close to him. He had never had a good experience with that, other than Kasumi of course, the more friendly a girl had been to him, the more trouble it tended to cause him in the end... Akane had started off asking to be friends, then started to beat him the moment she found out he was a guy, Shampoo had been the most affectionate by kissing him, and then immediately turned around and started trying to kill him, and even Ukyo hit him when he called her cute! No, his luck with women had been ...less than pleasant, and he was unsure of how to handle his current development, he just kept waiting for the mallet to drop, as it were.

Hinako fared little better than Kasumi, and felt as if her body had been made of rubber, unable to move.

Kasumi started to come around, and for the first time, noticed the size of the tub itself. "Oh my, that is very small, is it not?"

"Is it? Not from what Ah saw in th' locker rooms, looks plenty big enough fer meh anyway... If ya don't like it, ya don't gotta play with it! Nobody's ...forcin' ...ya?" Ukyo thought about that for a moment, then wondered as she stared at her chest. "Er are they? Oh gods, they ARE aren't they?"

Not paying attention to Ukyo's babbling, Kasumi thought about the logistics of it. "I do not believe we will fit, and it really is not proper to bathe in such a small bath with a boy, the mixed public baths are bad enough..."

Quickly taking his cue, Ranma jumped up, and ran out before anyone asked him to wash the REST of Hinako, yelling, "That's-okay,-I-already-had-mine...", before closing the door, and searching for some clothing!

Ukyo was once again upset that she had missed out on another opportunity ...she was going to need to do something drastic...

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After his morning workout, Ranma had made sure to use his ki senses to be certain that no one was in the furo before using that window to climb back into the apartment. He wanted to quickly rinse off and take another bath while the water was still there, desprately hopefully avoid a repeat of earlier that morning. He had spaced out a bit, having relaxed a bit more than expected, being glad to finally be alone in the tub. By the time he had gotten out, and was drying himself off, he felt much better, ready to face the day.

Realizing the time, his calm mood vanished, quickly replaced by a sense of urgency, it was time to make their breakfast! After dressing, he rushed into the hallway to hear the sounds of cooking. He assumed Kasumi had taken over in his absence, and vowed to thank her before he got a whiff of the most horrendous smell! He almost wilted as the odor hit him full in the face, and his panic returned, assuming Hinako, or worse yet, Akane was cooking!

Ukyo sat near the kitchenette, where Kasumi had been making some breakfast for them, cooking on her portable grill. "Please, don't git excited, Ah'm just fixin' mah breakfast. Even if Ah was a kid when Ah made it, an' this sauce really stinks, mah pride as an okonomiyaki chef won't allow it! I'll beat some spirit inta mah cookin', by sufferin' mah mistake, an' eatin' all a' this sauce!"

Hinako and Kasumi both admired her for her dedication to her art. Kasumi had never made anything that smelled THAT horrible before, but remembered eating some of her earliest attempts at cooking. It did make her think that perhaps that was where she had gone wrong when trying to teach her youngest sister the skill, it could be that if she had made her suffer her own mistakes, she may have been more inclined to pay attention, and be less 'creative' with her alterations in the recipes... Of course, who knew when she would ever come to her for help with that again?

Before she had time to consider what to do about it, Ranma came racing across the room. "No! Don't do it!" Before she had been able to take a bite, Ranma snatched the okonomiyaki out of her hands, and stuffed it into his mouth!

All of them were surprised, but none more than Ukyo herself. "Ranchan?"

Ranma's face fell to the floor as he managed to mutter out the word, "good" before fainting.

"Ranma-kun!"

"Ranchan!"

"Saotome-kun!"

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Kasumi had offered to clean up the breakfast dishes and accepted the key she had been given, promising to meet them at the school when their day was done. After seeing them off, she got to work cleaning. She had barely finished drying the dishes, when there was a knock at the door. Opening it, there were several burly men behind the door.

"Oh my."

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NOTES

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Hinako's explanation of the history of nudity might not have been entirely accurate, though it was close-ish. The general idea was mostly accurate, I think I based the bulk of the speech loosely on one from MagiKoi, where the main character was trying to explain his way out of seeing someone in the nude, and he is not exactly known for his 'honesty', and I verified what I could. Blame any inaccuracies on her being an English Teacher, not Japanese History, and her primary function is discipline, not teaching. English Teachers in Japan stereotypically have a generally bad reputation, especially in fiction. Which is part of why her goal is to become a 'respected teacher'. The goal itself was from the manga, I think, but the motivation was mostly my own reasoning.

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Like I said when I started this thing, plot lines will be happening in very unusual orders, hope that doesn't bother anyone. ;p

Come back next time for, 'Rub Her Ducky, Yer th' One?', or 'You Make My Bath Time Lots of Fun'!


	15. Chapter 15

I don't have anything funny to say here, so don't, ya know don't like, sue me, er anything... Please?

Chapter 15 - Playing House

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Nabiki awoke to having to make her own coffee, quickly figuring out that her older sister had not made it home as of yet, and her younger sister would soon be back from jogging. There was still a chance that Kasumi could arrive in time, however the risk was too great. It would be a race to see which of them made it home first! A shot of adrenaline, far more powerful than any coffee, pumped through her body, and she decided it was time to hurry, she could bring the rest of it with her in a thermos and pick up some breakfast on the way! One of her underlings could get her lunch, and save her from anything Akane might try to put in her bento if given the opportunity.

As she brushed her hair, she heard the sound of the front door closing. Her worst fears were realized when Akane shouted out 'tadaima', and asked if Kasumi was home. Luckily she had already poured her coffee and was ready for Escape Plan: Delta!

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"What's wrong, Akane?"

"Yeah, why are you buying a lunch? What happened?"

"Kasumi-nee stayed at a friend's last night and didn't make it home before school, so I made my own lunch, aaand it didn't turn out 'too' well." Akane was looking at the ground in embarrassment, and missed the look of horror on her friend's faces, they had the same Home Economics class after all.

"I see... Well, then, we'll wait here with you, won't we?"

Not wanting to know how that bento turned out, Sayuri quickly recovered and jumped to support her closest pals, her ponytail swinging as she turned. "Of course, what are friends for?"

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Ranma, Hinako, and Ukyo were leaving school, and as promised, Kasumi was waiting for them just passed the gate. Cleaning the kitchen had taken her all morning, once she had made it home. She knew she only had herself to blame though, having known what would happen if she was late, but their bath had taken longer than she had expected, and finding two of her mother's dishes chipped did not make her feel any better about it, either. Nonetheless, taking care of her family was her main reason for living, so she forced a skip in her step, a smile upon her lips, and a song in her heart as she started her work. Through many years of practice, she had managed to finish her extra chores, and even run her additional errands, though she did ignore the two semiconscious men, who were groaning and holding their stomachs, not yet having recovered from breakfast...

"Good afternoon everyone... Oh my, are you visiting again today, Kuonji-san?"

"Yeah, ya know, Hinako-sensei said Ah could stay with them until Ah git over mah depression..."

"Oh, is that so? Well, I do hope that you feel better soon." The sweet tone of the older woman made Ukyo feel a bit off, cooler than usual, and it made her wonder what she meant. "Well then, if everyone would follow me."

"Tendo-san, this is not the way to my apartment..."

"No, you are absolutely correct. There is something I need to show you both."

"What about meh?"

"You are welcome to join us, though it is not 'for' you."

Ukyo moved in closer to Ranma as they walked, bristling a bit, and not sure why she was feeling the that way. The other woman was just as pleasant as always, and yet, something was ...off. Even Ranma seemed to notice something, as he asked, "Ya doin' okay, Kasumi-san?"

"Oh yes, I am fine."

"Come on, ya can tell me."

"I just had a busy day at home, nothing for you to worry about."

Both of the other teens were certain that there was something else, but neither could put a finger on it, and decided to let it drop. "Well, ya told me if I got any problems I can talk ta ya, so ya gotta do th' same. Okay?"

"Oh my, I suppose that is true, is it not?"

"Promise? I'm gonna hold ya to it"

Kasumi glanced away as she responded in a meek voice. "Hai."

Ukyo did not like banter between the two, she had never seen him so comfortable in a conversation with anyone, never mind a girl! It made her quite nervous about the prospects of her entering that race, she did not like those odds. It was time to check in with the fount of all Furinkan knowledge at school the next day... Just one more expense added to this escapade, however with any luck, Kasumi would not be staying with them again, and she would be able to get even closer to Ranma later that night, it was such a small apartment, there was little room for him to avoid her!

Ranma finally felt a bit of relief after they finally passed the Kuno mansion, he had been growing concerned that had been their destination, and after his last 'visit', he was not eager to return. The walls continued to get taller, and the lots seemed to be getting larger as they walked, and his curiosity was starting to get the better of him. He was just about to try and pry further information from Kasumi when she stopped in front of a particularly large gate.

"Ah yes, here it is." Everyone stared at each other as Kasumi pushed open the large wooden door, and walked toward the house. Turning back and looking at them, her eyes implored them to follow. "Okaerinasai."

"Huh? Why're ya welcoming us like that, shouldn't th' owners be doin' that?"

Kasumi giggled, as if she found the idea rather amusing. "That would be rather difficult."

"Why, they not here?"

"No, in fact they just arrived."

"NANI-O?"

Hinako started looking around, behind pillars, under rocks, and whatever other place she could imagine, no matter how improbable the location, while Ranma expanded his senses, still finding no other people on the property. "I don't sense nobody..."

"Well, they SHOULD be easy to find, because 'they' are you."

"How? This place is HUGE!"

"Oh my, well 'that' is a bit of a long story, I asked Nabiki-chan to sell another one of those gaudy pieces of jewelry, and I asked around during my shopping trips. Then the owner of the grocery store's cousin was a lawyer, and heard about this place. The previous owners had to move in a hurry for some reason, and needed to sell it, I never learned why. So, in order to help everyone out, I bought it, and since I do not need another house, I am giving it to you."

"But ...why?"

Kasumi's guilt for pushing Ranma and her youngest sister together came to the surface, though she tried to ignore it. "It just is not right for you to have to keep living like that. Sensei-san's apartment was just too small for you both to live ...especially with 'guests' over."

"So, ya bought a HOUSE?"

"Well, it was a VERY good price... actually, I could not believe how inexpensive it was, the previous owners needed to sell it 'very' quickly the man said."

"And ya wanna give it ta me? That ain't right! I can't accept it!"

"But, Ranma-kun, you cannot keep sleeping on the floor, in the changing room, like that!"

"I've done worse..."

"I am well aware, however that is what we are trying to prevent! You should not always be sleeping on the floor, the roof, the ground, and worse. Would you not like to know what it is like to sleep in a real bed when you are not off on a training trip?"

"I don't need nuthin' like that, how could ya spend yer money like that?"

Ukyo could not believe Kasumi could afford something like that, not matter HOW cheap it was, the Tendos were not known for their wealth after all... She vaguely remembered hearing about her getting some fancy clothing during that whole, awful kidnapping ordeal, but it was not about Ranma, so she had not really paid attention to the details. On the other hand, this was completely unbelievable.

"Ranma-kun, if I cannot spend this money to help make my friends and family happy, then what good is it?"

"But it don't! How can I be happy with ya spendin' so much on me?"

"Do not worry about that."

"How can't I?"

"That is not important-."

"Of COURSE it's important! Don't matter HOW 'cheap' a house it was, this still had ta be a lot a' money!"

Hinako decided she should try to help Kasumi, Ranma needed to be pushed, and it had NOTHING to do with wanting to live in this huge house, no, not at all! "Saotome-kun, you should not keep sleeping on the floor in the changing room." She resisted the blush that tried to surface as she remembered seeing him sleeping nude, and uncovered recently ...it took her a moment to recover. "A boy your age should have your own room!"

"But-!"

Kasumi gently placed her hand on Ranma's shoulder, hoping to help calm her friend. "Please, let me show you around first, then you can make your decision, I do not want to force you."

He could never refuse the kind, older woman when she gave him that imploring look. Defeated, he just sighed in resignation as his shoulders sunk. "Fine..."

Ranma's apprehension grew the more they saw of the place, it was indeed enormous. There was a gym 'full' of equipment, with plenty of space to jump around, and a pool heated by solar power! Even two of the many bedrooms were already set up with his and Hinako's stuff respectively, including a large bed he had never seen in his life! Ranma felt even worse thinking about it. "Did ya buy th' bed too?"

"Oh my, no, the beds came with the house, as did most of the other furniture, though I did buy new sheets, blankets, and the mattresses of course!" A shiver shot up her spine as she thought about sleeping on a mattress that belonged to someone she did not know. "Oh, and I also replaced the couches and other similar furniture, better safe than sorry..."

"How'd ya get our stuff here?"

"I called the movers to come after you left for school, I wanted to surprise you."

"It worked!"

"Um, ya moved evahthin' from there?"

"Of course."

"Then what about mah stuff? Ah had stuff there too!" Ukyo was suddenly worried about some of the tools she had left behind.

"Over here ...in one of the 'guest' rooms." Kasumi led them down the hall, and opened a door to find Ukyo's equipment set up, the bed made, and even her clothing had been put away in the dresser. She had never felt so welcome and yet uncomfortable at the same time in her life.

Leading them back to the main area, Kasumi showed them the living room, the dining room, the game room, and the den and library combination, before leading them to the kitchen. It was huge, at least three times larger than the Tendos', including the size of the stove, with a full oven! There was a device for almost everything, many of which Ranma did not have the slightest clue what purpose they might serve, and so much storage!

Giving them time to soak in the wonders of this shiny and new dream kitchen, she though it was time to move to the last rooms. "...and now, saving the best part for last, if you will follow me." First she showed them the changing room, the huge furo, with several restrooms off of it, and finally to a table, next to which was a small 'door' in the wall. She pulled on the handle and it swung down revealing an opening into the wall where Kasumi tossed a towel. With an excited look on her face, she led them back through the hall and into the next room over which contained the largest washer and dryer set they had ever seen. She walked over to a similar door on the other side of the wall, opened it, and pulled out the same towel, looking quite proud of herself! "Is that not the absolute best?"

The blank stares she received were not what she expected, she fully expected to be ending the tour on a high note... She could not figure out why they were just staring at her like she had just been speaking in a foreign tongue. "What's wrong?"

"Don't ya worry about it, Kasumi-san, I guess we just don't like laundry as much ya do..."

"What do you mean?" Kasumi looked a bit bothered, and Ranma started to get nervous, worried that he upset her.

"Uh, well, that is, I, I..."

"Who does not like doing laundry?" Seeing all three of them raise their hands shocked Kasumi to the core! How could anyone not enjoy taking something, and returning it to its pristine state? It was beyond her. Unsure how to take that, she decided it would be best to just change the topic, hoping to make herself feel less uncomfortable. "Then I suppose that is not what is important anyway, what matters most is, what do you think of the house now?"

"It's too nice fer someone like me! I can't take it!"

Kasumi decided to try a different approach. "What do the two of you think?"

"KEEP IT!" Both of them chimed in without a moment's hesitation.

"I can't take something like this, it ain't right!"

"I 'want' you to have it, you 'need' it."

"But don't nobody give me nuthin' without wantin' somethin' in return!"

Kasumi was hurt, she had never given a gift expecting someone to give her anything back, and did not like being accused of such, but she understood Ranma's perspective, so she chose to play along. "You are correct, I DO want something from you."

"Now that's more like it..."

"I want you to finish school, I want you to be safe and healthy, and most of all, I want you to be happy!" Pulling Ranma into her bosom, Kasumi hugged the boy for all she was worth. "Please Ranma-kun, you need some stability in your life!" The 'sad puppy' look prevented all but token resistance from Ranma.

"How 'bout this, I'll live here, but only as yer guest, it's still yer home." He looked at her with pleading eyes, hoping she would compromise, for the sake of his self esteem if naught else.

"...It is a bit late for that, it is already in your name, but I will see what I can do."

"Th' paperwork ain't what's important, what matters is we agree, this is YER house, ya own it, when ya ain't gotta take care a' yer family no more, then ya move in, we move out, no questions asked."

The paperwork was more trouble than it was worth to her to change it over, though she decided to humor him anyway. "Well, I suppose, though I want you to know that you will always be welcome here, Ranma-kun. You are far more than any guest, I want you to feel at home here, I will 'never' ask you to leave. Do we understand each other?" Kasumi let out a breath she did not know she had been holding when he finally nodded reluctantly and Hinako cheered.

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Having still not found Ryoga, Genma was positioned behind a bush in the park, doing his best to blend in, and keeping an eye on the building across the street. That ungrateful son of his had to come out of that 'apartment' building eventually, and he would be there when he does... Hearing his stomach growl, he wished that he had brought more snacks though, he really had expected Ranma to have come home already... He wanted to run to a convenience store, and at least buy some instant noodles, however he knew that the moment he left would be when he came home, that was how things always worked. No, it was better to wait, and later, make sure he ate Ranma's portions for as many meals as he could, to make up for it.

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Even Ukyo had joined them in their afternoon workout being held in their new combination dojo and fitness center. While they practiced, Ranma relaxed, getting into his element, and started seeing the potential of the 'air conditioned' room. He had even managed to take advantage of the small shower stalls in gym, and was able to avoid the group bath the others had taken, much to his own relief and Ukyo's disappointment. He was starting to feel better about living there, even if he still felt guilty about Kasumi spending her money to pay for it.

Ranma was somewhat surprised that even the kitchen had been fully stocked, though being Kasumi, he did not give it a second thought. "So, Kasumi-san, 're ya stayin' fer dinner?"

Looking excited, the beautiful domestic almost bounced over to his side. "That depends, would you allow me to assist you in breaking in your ...OUR new kitchen?"

Ukyo bristled at the exchange, uncomfortable with how close they looked, and how well they were getting along, nothing like with Akane at all! Her stomach growling moments later depressed her further, as much as she wanted to eat Ranma's cooking, even if Kasumi 'was' helping, her pride would not allow her to avoid her punishment for her failure, and she went outside to set up her grill.

Kasumi had never worked in a kitchen this large nor modern, and she forgot everything else in her exuberance. It was fun to be able to work with someone else who could match her own skills, Ranma might not be a master chef ...yet, however the boy could mimic almost anything he saw, and he had spent a good bit of time studying her movements, so their gestures were in almost perfect harmony, Kasumi almost felt as if they were dancing.

"It is very nice to work with you again, Ranma-kun. It has been too long."

"Yeah, it's fun, an' there's still so many things I don't know how ta do, it's nice ta have someone around who knows what they're doin'..." Ranma started scratching the back of his neck as he suddenly found something very interesting in the design in the floor.

Being the nicest complement she had received all day, Kasumi blushed slightly when a rather foul odor met her nostrils. "Oh dear, Ranma-kun, what did you do over there?"

Ranma quickly turned to stir in a panic when he started sniffing closely. "Wait, it weren't me ...it's comin' from outside..." The smell only took him a moment to identify, so he quickly turned off the heat and removed the pan from the burner before running to the back yard at top speed. What he saw while turning the corner matched his fears exactly, once again, Ukyo was cooking with the sauce that he had ruined as a child!

Ukyo was staring at the okonomiyaki, trying to psyche herself up to eat it, knowing she would regret it the moment she even attempted to take a bite. The fumes were causing her to blink as her eyes got watery, and she dreaded every second, almost chickening out of it. Between blinks, her 'food' vanished before her eyes as she just stared at her now empty hands.

"This fer me? Thanks. Itadakimasu!" Ranma gobbled up the malicious meal before she could blink again, and managed to stand upright for a few moments, before falling down. "It was ...great."

"RANCHAN! Wadaja-do-that-fer?" Cradling her fallen fiancee in her arms, Ukyo stared at him with a look of adoration and confusion. "Why ya bein' so nice ta meh?" What could make anyone else eat something so awful, and then say it was 'good'? It utterly defied all logic! Then it hit her, like a blow to the head, an old memory resurfaced, and made her rethink things. 'Could that be it? Does Ranchan remember that promise? It's gotta be it!' She wanted to ask him, however he was in no shape to answer any questions. It was a minor thing, she knew what he meant, she was his oldest friend after all, and that was all that mattered!

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Kasumi was in a hurry to get home, and Ranma had been in no shape to assist her. She had gotten so excited about working in that huge kitchen, along side Ranma, that she had completely forgotten the time, and that she had not prepared a meal for them to serve at her 'other' home! She knew what that meant for her kitchen, and judging by the time, it was likely too late to try picking something up on her way home. Their meal had been so good that even with Ranma unconscious, they had no leftovers, left over!

As she opened the door, far more than just the kitchen was a mess, there were holes in the walls and floors, and even the living room was a mess. "Ta-dai...ma?" It almost looked as if a bomb had hit, and she shuttered to think what awaited her further inside the poor old house. She did not see, nor hear anyone, and no one had responded to her greeting.

Before she started cleaning up the apocalyptic mess, Kasumi ran around the house, looking for ...survivors. Turning the corner, the terrified young woman saw legs extending from her fathers room and into the hallway. She panicked, and ran over to them, yelling, "Otou-san!"

Hearing his elder daughter's voice, Soun tried to roll over and look at her. "Kasumi-chan, you're here, and safe, thank the kami!"

He looked terrible, and she helped him get into bed. "What happened here?"

"...Your ...sister. Cooked. No one else home ...made me eat ...got mad when ...vomited."

Kasumi looked mildly disappointed, something almost unheard of among their family. "I suppose after I clean up this mess, and call the contractor, we will have to have a talk."

Relief washed over the older man's face, as he swallowed the digestive he was being fed. "Oh, thank you, Kasumi-chan... You'll never turn on me, will you?"

"Of course not, Father. What else do you need?"

"Just to know that you will be here, to take care of me ...always."

That hit the young woman rather hard, and she just sat there for a moment, realizing what he actually expected of her. "...Always...?" Kasumi blanched. She had invariably assumed she would be able to resume her life at some point, at least by the time Akane had graduated! It was not as if SHE was the one who would inherit the dojo! "...Oh my, exactly, what am I to you, Father, a replacement wife?"

Comforted by his loving daughter's agreement, that she would 'always' be there, he had nodded off to sleep, long before she had quietly asked her question.

Kasumi could not move, she just sat there, staring at the wall for a long moment, letting herself absorb it all, not liking the implications of their conversation. It had taken her some time before she could bring herself to contact their contractor and get to work cleaning the disaster that became of their house ...worst of all was her kitchen, and she was finding it difficult to locate a silver lining in any of it.

She found that she unexpectedly had so many complications to ponder. Was this truly the price that must be paid for her to have an evening of fun? Must so many suffer for her to take a few hours to herself? Was her family this incapable of taking care of themselves? Was this her fault for always doing everything for them? These questions and more kept running through her head as she frantically worked to make their place livable once again, when finally she found what she had been looking for, the bight spot in the storm! Her room remained untouched, and her favorite utensils were yet intact, it was enough to allow her a moment's respite, and at least partially return to her normal, cheerful self.

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Once she had gotten most of the house as clean as she had been able, considering the holes in the walls, Kasumi moved on to the backyard and started to straighten the broken cinder blocks. Without realizing it, she had followed a trail to the dojo when she heard the sounds of activity coming from within the building and instantly knew who was there.

"There you are, Akane-chan, I should have known you would be out here."

Getting excited, but a bit embarrassed, she turned to see her elder sister enter. "Kasumi-nee-chan, you're back! I had a ...little accident in the kitchen, but I know you can fix it... you ALWAYS fix it!"

"Some, yes, however, I must insist that you never force someone to eat what you have prepared until you have eaten some of it yourself."

"But, if I make it for someone else, THEY should be the first ones to get to taste it!"

"The first one ...other than yourself. You cannot just assume that something will be good, you must test it first, and prove it to yourself before you make someone else try it."

"Why are you turning against me?"

"But, I am not, even I-..."

"I am doing my best! Why are you being so mean to me?"

"Akane-chan, if it is mean for me to say you should taste it first, then what is it you are doing to the others that you insist eat it?"

"Ah...! That's not the same thing!"

"You are correct, it is 'not' the same, it is far worse. If you make a mistake, it is up to you to suffer for it, not to cause others to suffer in your place." Kasumi thought again about Ukyo and her insistence on consuming her mistake from a decade before, and saw a sharp contrast. It make her somewhat revise her opinion on her being a 'food waster', if she was willing to consume her own horrific mistake.

"What do you know, you never make mistakes! You're perfect!"

"I am not! I have made plenty of mistakes, more than I even knew, the difference is that I never served anything to you until I had made sure that it was edible, the best I could make it. If you believe that eating your own food is punishment, then in a way, you are correct, but it is not I who is doing the punishing, it is you. It is what all honest cooks go though, we suffer our own mistakes."

"But, but, but..."

"No more 'buts', now I will suffer one more of my mistakes, and finish cleaning up 'your' mess out there, but you will clean up this one." Kasumi felt bad about putting her foot down, though she knew it was for her sister's own good. Her eyes had finally been opened, and she was starting to see many of her own mistakes in the past, and needed to do what she could to correct them. She considered it taking a bitter medicine for her own previous mistakes.

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Ukyo had watched over Ranma until he awoke, thinking back on their relationship, from their time as children to the present, and she could only come to one conclusion, 'Ranma remembered their promise, and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her'! She just sat there, holding his hand, and staring longingly at his face. She was almost positive, but had to make sure, and she made her plans to do just that. She wanted to put it into action as soon as he woke from his 'nap', but knew that would not be very safe, she did not want to kill him before they could consummate their vows! No, it would have to wait until the next day, in the mean time, she could comfort him, and enjoy looking at his beautiful face.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ranma awoke to something heavy, pressing on his chest, and opening his eyes, he saw Ukyo's staring into his own. "Ah!"

"Ranchan, yer awake!"

"An' not a moment too soon, what're ya doin' there?"

Rolling over, she curled up beside him. "Nuthin' don't cha worry 'bout it, jus' keepin' ya warm an' safe."

"From what? Hinako-sensei still here?"

"Uh'course, Ah think sensei's in th' game room, playin'."

"Uh huh... so, um, ya mind lettin' go now? I'm fine."

"But, ya ate that awful sauce!"

"I told ya, it was good."

Ukyo squealed, she could not be more happy. "Yes!" Her arms held Ranma even tighter, as she snuggled in more closely to him.

"Um, Ucchan...?" Ranma struggled to free himself, to no avail. Unable to sleep, he wished he could at least read, but their position did not allow for that, and her grip only tightened as she fell asleep.

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"This new paralysis power, with the aphrodisiac blend, should be ready soon."

"Good! With that, we should be able to catch that guy, and keep all of the right places ...'paralyzed', for as long as we want! OHOHOHOhohohohohoho!" Kodachi started to drool as she thought about how fun it would be. "Once we have Sasuke record it all for posterity, Ranma-sama will have no choice but to marry us!"

"Well, who should take whose name?"

"It would have to be Ranma Kuno, of course! Why should we have to change our stationary for that? Besides, we have alliteration on our side!"

A meek voice let out a soft whisper. "Oh, I don't know, Kodachi Saotome does have a nice ring to it..."

"NO!"

"Not on your life!"

The arguments degenerated from there, until she spilled the latest vial, and was caught up in the effects. Normally, her acquired tolerance to her toxins rendered her mostly immune to her concoctions, unfortunately for her, this batch was especially potent, and combined with the new aphrodisiac she had recently created, changed it enough to render her resistance almost completely ineffective. No further work would be done that night...

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They had no sooner gotten to school, when Ukyo vanished, surprising both of her companions. While Ranma was mildly relived, as she had grown to be as clingy as Shampoo of late and he needed a breather, though he was curious what could cause the sudden departure. He was not good with displays of affection, public or private, on the other hand, there was something to be said for the known verses the unknown, and he worried about what would happen next...

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Ukyo hated to leave Ranma's side, but before she took the next step in her plan, she needed to gather some information, and there was only one place she could be reasonably certain that she was getting a straight forward answer ...even if she had to pay for it! "G'mornin', Nabiki-han, got a question fer ya."

Nabiki lazily looked over her manga, lowering her gaze toward her fellow student. "You know how this works."

"Yeah, yeah." Ukyo tossed several coins onto her desk.

"Okay, so what is your question? Something about Ranma, I assume?"

"Sorta, yer family, actually."

"What has Akane done to you this time?"

"Nuthin' directly. What I wanna know is, if yer dads're startin' ta push Kasumi-san inta tryin' ta marry mah Ranchan, since Akane broke it off an' ain't comin' back?"

"Why would you think that?"

"Well, it's jus' that, they been spendin' an awful lot a' time tagether, an' it's jus' got meh wonderin'. It'd be just like those bastards ta do it!"

"They have? Is that what...? That sly... Oh this I just HAVE to see..."

"Well, if ya don't know nuthin', then it's probably jus' mah imagination... If ya hear anythin' 'bout it, let meh know, would ya?"

"Of course, for the standard rates... As a bonus, I will look into it, personally."

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"Kasumi-chan, could we talk for a moment?"

"Of course, Father." Kasumi put down the dish she had been washing, dried her hands, and followed her father to the living room. "With what may I help you, Father?"

"Akane-chan came to me this morning, looking to have been crying, and informed me that you had said some terrible things. I could not believe it, myself, however, I do not want to see my lovely daughters fighting, so I would like for you to apologize to your sister."

Kasumi could not believe her ears, the man who had forced raising his children off onto his eldest daughter, a girl of eleven at the time, decided THIS was one of the issues he would raise? The only other time he had ever exerted parental authority in recent memory, was with the engagement to Ranma, and that was certainly a poor decision, in her opinion. She hated to even think it, but she had seen children with better decision making skills. Normally she would humor him, however she had been seeing things differently lately, the psychology books, and recent events had opened her eyes, and she was starting to see that she was an 'enabler'. Where she thought she was helping, she was actually doing harm. She suddenly realized that this was exactly what she had been doing to Ranma for all of his time with them! "I am sorry, but what, may I ask, did I say that was incorrect?"

"I am sure I do not know, but it must have been something to have Akane-chan in tears like that!" Soun was proud of himself, he managed to keep his angry edge and not cry, so knowing Kasumi as the dutiful daughter that she was, she would do as she was told immediately!

"I am not sure I can do that, Father. I believe I did the right thing already."

'WHAT? That can't be! My daughters are fighting, and disobeying their father! What did I ever do wrong?' He managed to keep his disbelief in check, and look calm, despite his internal dialogue. "Be that as it may, I must insist that you go make up with your little sister!"

Soun stomped out of the room, and walked back to his room, to close the door and cry about his problems. As if he were not having enough troubles getting Akane married off, now this? Genma's disobedient child must be rubbing off on his perfect daughters, surly they never would have talked back to him before the two of them showed up! That boy needed to just come back, marry Akane, and be done with it! They were only children, they could not know what they want, it was up to him, as the parent, to TELL them what they wanted, and make sure they did it!

He used to be a good father, when did his little girls stop doting on his every word? It was when Ranma showed up, that's when it all changed, that's when his girls became ever more obstinate, and even almost disobedient at times. Before that, they were his sweet little girls, always looking up to their father, and doing exactly what they were told. It had to be Ranma's fault, nothing else made sense to him, HE could not be the one to blame after all!

Oh if only they would do as they were told, Ranma could take over the dojo, Akane could give him grandchildren to train, Nabiki could keep doing the finances, and Kasumi could keep taking care of them all! Then all he would have to do was to sit back, play with the kids, and let everyone else do all of the work! Why did they not see how perfect everything would be?

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"Oh, hey Ucchan, where ya been? Ain't seen ya all mor-...ning. Hey!"

Not speaking a word, she grabbed his arm, and they ran to a deserted place behind the school where her equipment had been awaiting their arrival. Ranma cringed as he recognized the malodorous fumes hitting him in the face, before Ukyo started to make another of the tainted okonomiyaki. "Ranchan, after this last okonomiyaki, Ah'm dumpin' th' rest a' th' sauce.

"EEEEH?"

"So, please Ranchan, won't ya tell meh honestly that it's awful?" Looking down at the ground, she averted her gaze. "Ah'm a woman second, an' an okonomiyaki chef first." 'Please Ranchan, tell meh it's bad, an' Ah can move on, go back ta work, an' stop worrin' so much!'

Ranma stared at Ukyo for a long moment before looking down at the okonomiyaki in his hand. 'If I can eat this last one, then I am safe!'

One of the sports teams ran behind him, chanting rhythmically, seemingly cheering him on. "Fight-o! Fight-o! Fight-o!" Taking a deep breath, Ranma proceeded to inhale the worst attempt at cooking he had ever made in his life, just hoping it would finally make up for his mistake. The smell alone was enough to make his eyes water, and the flavor made him want to vomit, again, yet he managed to literally choke it down at a speed that would have impressed a certain homeless girl he had not yet met.

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Somewhere in the mountains of Japan, a teenage girl sneezed as she sat on a log, trying to enjoy the fish they had caught for lunch.

"Are you all right, Kurumi-chan?"

The cheerful girl looked up, wiped her nose on her sleeve, and smiled at her sister. "HAI, Onee-chan, I'm fine!"

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Ranma's eyes crossed, and his knees started to tremble as his body shook, but he managed to remain upright. "De-Dehrishus..."

"Ranchan, do ya love meh that much? Ah'm SO happy!" Ukyo tackled him, knocking him to the ground, and causing him to struggle as he barely managed to keep it down. "Ah guess Ah'm a woman first and a chef second!"

"Huh? 'Woman'? Whatcha talkin' 'bout, Ucchan?"

"A' course ya remember, don't cha? Th' promise ya made?"

"Huh?"

"Don't pretend!" Ranma crawled back as Ukyo's smiling face was suddenly millimeters from his own. "Remember, ya told meh that, if th' sauce was good, ya'd look aftah meh fer th' rest a' mah life! So fer ya ta eat THAT, an' say it was good, ya GOTTA mean it!" Bowing down in a formal fashion, she had to relinquish her hold on him. "Though Ah'm inexperienced, please look aftah meh!"

Ranma nervously laughed, unsure of what to say as he looked around, waiting for someone to strike him, or some other bad thing to happen. "Ano... is that what happened?" Maybe he was hallucinating from the poison, that was always a possibility...

He jumped as she looked up, expecting the hammer. "RANCHAN! Yer not sayin' ya don't remember, 're ya?"

Ranma's nervous laughter continued as heads started poking out from around corners, from behind bushes, tress, anything close, all shouting out questions at once. "Is that true?" "Did ya mean it?" "How could ya not remember something like that?" What do you mean by that?" "I say go with the 'experienced' one!"

Ukyo quickly made another okonomiyaki and poured the sauce onto it. As it cooked, the stench caused the crowd to flee in equal parts horror and disgust. "Ya ate this okonomi-yucky sauce, and said it was good!" Her aura of love surrounded her, as she found a microphone within reach. "It must be true love!"

"Ah, I, I, ay-yai-yai! I'm out a' here!"

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Ranma ran until he hit a brick wall going by the name of 'Shampoo'. "Airen! What is doing? Ranma come run to see Shampoo? Ooooo, SOOOOO happy!"

"AH! What are ya doin' here?" Ranma tried to back away, but was not fast enough as he was engulfed by the beauty standing before him.

"Where Ranma be? Why change phone number, no tell Shampoo?"

"Oh, uh, well, that's not my fault! Kasumi-san, found us a new house ...it was all VERY sudden!"

"Onee-chan do? Then you show Shampoo where is, yeeessss? Airen no keep Shampoo in dark, huumm?" The 'innocent' look she gave him had the desired effect, and put the addled boy further off his game, causing him to relent quickly.

"Fine, can't stay here anyway..."

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"Aiyaaa! Ranma, new house too too big, who else live here?"

"Well, it's just me, an' Hinako-sensei I guess..."

Shampoo's normally bubbly voice dropped to a cooler and more level tone. "Why Shampoo see Pancake-Girl thing here during show around?"

"Oh, um, well, that's a long story..."

"Shampoo have too too much time." She listened as Ranma mostly blamed Hinako for inviting Ukyo to stay until she felt better, not really going into too many details as to why she was upset in the first place, or his own guilt in the process. Shampoo, on the other hand, saw right though the hazy details, and easily focused on Ukyo's plan. Her own counter quickly formed, and she instantly put it into action with a surefire attack! Her tears began to flow as she fell to her knees. "Airen, must help Shampoo! Stupid Mousse be much more problem after losing to Violent Girl, always attacking Shampoo, even in bedroom! Got so bad, Great-Grandmother make Shampoo leave, no can stay home until solve problem, break too too much protecting self! Ranma only one Shampoo can ask to save! Husband always protect too too cute wife, yes?"

"Uh, well, I guess so, but I ain't really up ta me, ya see, it's Kasumi-san's house, so that's who ya gotta ask... But I'll do what I can otherwise. Ya want me ta beat th' guy up?"

"No will help, Shampoo do already, too too many time!" Shampoo pouted, with teary sad kitten eyes. "Airen help watch over Shampoo, yes?"

Ranma was unable to say 'no' as he crumbled under the combination attack. "Um, well, er, I ...guess, but... gotta ask Kasumi-san!"

Cheering up quickly, She threw her arms around Ranma, rubbing her body against his. "Shampoo do!"

Ranma could not believe how her emotions seemed to change, much like her cursed form, very quickly, she certainly lived in the moment. The speed at which she left made it difficult for Ranma to track her as she left, it would be easier to explain what he was doing there without her around anyway...

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Ranma had finally calmed down after Shampoo left, and even managed to return to school before the lunch break ended, and started searching for his friend. He realized he probably ought to apologize for running off like that, even if he did not like the direction of the conversation it was rude of him to flee, but panic is as panic does. Besides, he needed a favor...

"Ucchan, I-." He barely caught her before she made it back to class, and even as he sensed the attack coming, his guilt overrode his dodge instinct, and he allowed himself to be slammed into the wall by a baker's peel. Picking himself up and dusting himself off, Ranma turned to face the wielder of said 'weapon'. "Look, I'm sorry, I-"

Before Ranma could complete his sentence, or Ukyo could react, Hinako winked at Ranma, and threatened to drain them if they did not get back to class before the bell rang. They followed their teacher into class as Ukyo whispered to Ranma. "We'll talk about this later."

Ranma wrote down his apology, folded it into a plane, waited for Hinako to turn her back, and tossed it to land directly in front of Ukyo, who spared a glance at her promised one. She had been trying to avoid looking at him, because she wanted to stay angry, and she always had a hard time maintaining her anger when she looked at his handsome face. To avoid it, she stared directly at her desk, and then could only see his note, which had unfolded itself as is landed.

She could not help herself, and read the note without thinking. 'Hey, Ucchan, sorry, couldn't help it.' Trying her best to stay strong, she jotted down a replay, and tossed it back.

'Just like all men!'

'Are ya sayin' ya rather me be a girl?'

'NO! Nevah! Just not so insensitive.'

'Sorry, ya know I ain't good at that stuff.'

'Yeah, Ah know.'

'Need ya ta do somethin' before we go home.'

Ukyo thought to herself, looking over the note, focusing on the phrase, 'before we go home', repeating it over and over in her mind, even hearing it in his voice. 'Well, it ain't like it ain't common fer a husband ta get cold feet...' She started to regain her cheer as she drifted off into her fantasy. 'Fine, whatcha need?'

Ranma hastily scribbled his instructions on the note and tossed it back.

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Shampoo found her target quickly enough, she had gone with Kasumi on her afternoon shopping trip before, and remembered the general area of her favorite stores, and she was aware that most of the shopkeepers knew the woman well. It was the simplest of things to follow her path and catch up to her. "Onee-chan! There is!"

"Oh my, Shampoo-chan, how nice it is to meet you here. Did you need to do some shopping as well?" Kasumi's smile brightened, cheering up everyone around her.

"Shampoo looking for Kasumi-onee-chan!"

"Oh? What do you need? Is someone in trouble?"

"Well, sort of, Shampoo need place to stay, stupid Mousse is cause too too many problem. Husband say no is one what own house, so need get Onee-chan approval to stay... Is ooookaaaay?" She felt bad about telling the partial untruth to her friend, but kept telling herself it was all for Ranma, and pushed through looking as cute as she was able.

"Oh dear, what happened?"

"Since Mousse beat by sister, is try to win Shampoo get worse, no can stay there..."

Kasumi had a mild fantasy about what it would be like to have a boy trying so hard to win her heart, even though she was certain such a thing could never happen, yet it was still nice to think about it happening on occasion. But shook her head clear of is as she considered how bothered Shampoo could be by the situation she found herself in, remembering how Mousse had kidnapped Akane's stuffed animal, and thought that perhaps some men could go too far, not unlike a certain prince. "Well, I do not mind, if it is all right with them. I actually gave the house to Ranma-kun, but the sweet boy would not accept it, however I am not the one whose name is on the deed, I have not been able to change it, I have been 'far' too busy of late."

"Shampoo get, Ranma own house, but Sister pretend to make feel better..."

"Oh dear, it sounds so deceitful when you say it like that... But yes, it is actually up to Ranma-kun who is allowed to stay there, not me."

"Is okay, Shampoo understand, sometimes for own good, need trick, like make child eat vegetable. No know what like if no try, and no try with no pushy."

"But... that is not... well, I guess, in a way it makes sense, though it does not sound correct..." On the other hand, she thought of her younger sister Akane again and wondered.

Seeing Kasumi get her purchases delivered, she was a bit confused. "Shampoo help carry, is no problem."

"Thank you, Shampoo-chan, but I do this everyday now, because I will not be going straight home, and I do not wish the food to spoil in the meantime. I showed the nice delivery boy where to put things, and they never seem to charge me much for the service."

Something was nagging the warrior, and she could not place her finger on it, so continued to follow her companion as she walked into a nearby electronics store. Shampoo tried to keep quiet, and just observe, hoping to figure out what was bothering her. After arranging for another bargain to be delivered, they went back out onto the street, heading for another shop when they heard a young child humming to herself as she played with her dog, and it finally hit her.

Kasumi had a habit of whistling, humming, or singing whenever she was not talking to someone. It was always soft, most of the time, you could barely even hear it if one was not very close, and it was strange not to hear it today. Kasumi had a beautiful voice, she loved when they would sing together, and even humming one of their favorite songs did not spur her companion to join. "Is ...Is you okay?"

"I am fine, why do you ask?"

"Seem same, but Shampoo tell, something no is same, and no sing with Shampoo. What happen, want talk? Shampoo listen." She placed her hand on the taller woman's shoulder and looked into her eyes. "Come, we get tea, tell Shampoo what on mind."

After some prodding on her part, she persuaded Kasumi to open up, and once she did, almost everything that had happened over the last couple days of frustration had come out in a flustered mess. She explained the run in with Ukyo, her trying to help her sister, the way her father scolded her for it, and every other annoyance, no matter how small, before she realized what she had been saying, and felt completely embarrassed for having let it slip.

"Aiyaaaaa...! Hear from husband how Big-Sister no get respect, thought it exaggerated, but is worse than know!" Shampoo felt bad, she would never stand to be talked down to bay anyone, other than Ranma or her great-grandmother, and she wanted to make them pay, even if Akane was one of her 'favorite' people, for saving her from Mousse, in a way, she would not stand by while someone hurt her friend! "You want Shampoo hunt down, make pay for hurting?"

"On my, no! Please, do not hurt anyone! I am fine, really... It is okay."

"No, really no is. No should let people push around, even family. Kasumi-onee-chan ever need someone watch back, call Shampoo, be anywhere, any time!"

"But I want to help my-."

"Sometimes help means let stand on own feet." The young Chinese woman was angry for her friend, not liking to see anyone taking advantage of one of the few people in this country to ever show her respect and treat her kindly. "Onee-chan should leave, go live in house with Ranma, no get treated so bad as that. Shampoo and husband help! With move and keep house, Onee-chan only do what want do!"

"Oh no, I could never do that, who would keep the house in shape if I am not there?"

"People what live there. No is problem for one what not live in house."

"But it is my family home!"

"Well, no force, Shampoo only tell what think. Onee-chan need decide what want do, is own life, no Shampoo's, no you family. So what want from life, what want do?"

"I want to help people."

"Is vague. What is dream, what see self do in future?"

"Dream? I- ...you know, I do not remember, it has been so long... It is not like I have had a choice in the matter for so long, there is only one thing I 'can' do."

"Only is one what can decide, no let other tell what do!"

"You mean, such as with you and the law of your village?"

"Think Shampoo here because law? No, here because want be here. First chase Ranma to get out of village, see world, give Kiss of Death three more time since be here, no kill anyone. Want Ranma for husband because is strongest, handsomest, kindest man Shampoo ever meet, that no was even challenge match, would never count! Just is excuse. More Shampoo learn, more see, Ranma is best man in world for Shampoo."

"Then what about all of that you told me about being exiled or worse! Was that all a lie?"

"Is true, Kiss of Death mostly for scare outsiders, but Shampoo declare Ranma husband, lose much face if fail now, family lose much honor, and be very unhappy no bring new blood into tribe. Certainly no be next matriarch. Great-grandmother throw into spring of drown cat for punishment of no bring back strong boy first time, what think do if no win heart after all this? Best case, must stay, alone, keep trying and no can go home, or have to kill for insult of rejection..." Seeing the look on the other woman's face, she paused for a moment, to let the idea sink in deeply. Her voice barely above a whisper, she continued. "Shampoo rather kill self then Ranma, so see, all is true."

Kasumi's eyes widened, her own problems forgotten in the wake of the determination and sacrifice she saw in her friend's eyes. "Please, Shampoo-chan, don't do anything rash! I will help you find a place to stay, help you build a new life if you need. Both of you deserve to live, even if the romance turns tragic, it does not mean it needs to end in death. Life can be happy with or without romance."

Kasumi paused for a moment, thinking back on her life. "Few first loves tend to work out, no matter what the storybooks tell us. My own first crush, a boy in my class back in middle school, seemed to care more about bugs and manga than going out on dates or girls in general. That was when I decided I wanted a nice, mature, older boy, not that it ever really worked out, but that is because I had less and less time to worry about such things, but as you can see, I am happy."

"Is, really?"

"Um, well, yes, of course!" Kasumi smiled, showing how 'happy' she was. "See?"

"Shampoo no say need romance be happy, but think Onee-chan need ...um, what word, 'vacation'?"

"I just had-."

"Be kidnap no count! Onee-chan work too too hard, no get appreciate!"

Kasumi looked down at the shorter girl and smiled in her gentle way. "Shampoo-chan, I do not these things to be appreciated, I do them to support my family. It does not matter if anyone even knows what I do, I only want my family to do well, and to be happy."

"Okay, but Onee-chan need anything, Shampoo, help any way can! Call Shampoo, even just talk!"

Kasumi felt better than she had in a long time, it was always nice to know one had friends on one's side, and she felt as though her place in the universe had been reaffirmed. "Oh, Shampoo-chan, thank you for listening to me and everything, I feel so much better, you have helped me to see what is truly important. Now, would you like to walk with me back to Ranma-kun's place for my lesson?"

"HAAAAAAAIIIIIIII!" Never let it be said that the young warrior would pass up an opportunity to be with her 'husband'.

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Ukyo did not like being relegated to messenger status, however she supposed she understood Ranma's motivations for hoping to keep certain people out of the loop, and as his best friend, it was her place to help. On the other hand, as his iinazuke, she was hurt to be sent to help him get what was essentially a 'gift' for 'another woman'. Even if that 'other woman' was Kasumi, and she had Nabiki's reassurances that she knew nothing about them being pushed together, there was no denying that he had a better rapport with her than with any other woman in town, it really made her uncomfortable, and worst of all, inferior!

Okay, technically it was not a 'gift for Kasumi', it was to have name plates made for the bedroom doors in the new house, however, the fact that one of them was for her, when she did not live there, was what bothered her. It was an open invitation to stay there, when she did not get one, and she was actually staying there! She tried to convince herself that it was because Ranma wanted her to stay in his room when she stayed over, but her current situation made that a hard pill to swallow.

It was not fair, she had tried to get him to stay at HER place, but he would not even let her make the offer. She had taken comfort in the fact that Shampoo had gotten much the same reaction, but now Kasumi had just given him a house, and now he was once again, indebted to the Tendos! On the other hand, she was helping to keep him away from his father, and was encouraging him to date people other than her sister, which had allowed her to go on so many dates, even if they had to include Shampoo as well, it was more than she had ever gotten before then...

Her jealousy and her reason warred in her head as her hands moved on their own while she waited. Eventually, one of the woodworking club members came over to see what the fidgeting girl, with the baker's peel on her back, wanted with them. Without thinking, Ukyo handed over the scrap of paper and explained that she wanted to have several name plates made, with as little fuss made as possible, specifically mentioning that they should not pay attention to the names to be written on them.

Having heard of her, and the other martial artists who were all involved in some sort of weird 'Love Dodecahedron', and assumed it was related to that, so being a member of the Anything-Goes, Woodworking Arts, he completely understood the need for discretion in both love and war. He assured her that he would take the job personally, and allow no one else to see them. Relieved, Ukyo thanked her fellow student, and ran off to meet Ranma and Hinako before they left.

The woodworker looked down at the 'order', and his jaw dropped as he saw the doodles and scribbles all over the page. "What the-?"

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I don't have anything fancy to say here this time either, so come back next time for, 'This Old House', or 'Home Is Where the Kitchen Is'.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: This story is not supposed to inspire you to call your ex in an attempt to get back together! It's not vodka. ...Also, I still don't own the characters in this or anything. Do you really need me to keep telling you this? ;p

Well, the reviews are showing up now, but I am not receiving notifications for them.

Chapter 16 - There's No Place Like Home

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Nabiki could not get it out of her head, she knew almost everything that happened within their house, but even her surveillance was far from perfect. Could she really have missed something so obvious though? That fat panda had not been around very much lately, so she had not figured they would be doing a whole lot of scheming, however there was little she would put passed either of them, and something certainly must have happened to spook Ukyo. She did not like it, it was much more fun to sneak around and spy, but with everything that had been happening, perhaps the direct method would be the best approach.

'Well, time to earn my money!' Nabiki psyched herself up, and walked into the living room. "Daddy? Can I talk to you?"

Setting down his newspaper, Soun tried to look 'fatherly'. "Of course, Nabiki-chan, what is on your mind?"

"Well Daddy, I have been hearing troubling rumors lately, and I need to find out if they are true or not... Since you are the only one home, you are the easiest one to ask."

"What rumors might those be? You know you should not put much stock in that sort of thing. Hahahaha!" Soun dismissed the idea entirely, hardly even paying attention until his daughter began to speak.

"The one that say that Onee-chan and Ranma-kun are getting closer because you are pushing the engagement onto them. Any truth to that ...Daddy?"

Soun suddenly got serious, was that true, had Kasumi and Ranma gotten closer? Was that who she was visiting when she goes for her walks? He had noticed there had been a change since that trip to china, but as with most things, he had ignored it in favor of playing shogi and trying to get Akane to fulfill her duties! "What wonderful news! We will switch the engagement immediately! Just wait until everyone hears, I am sure they will all be thrilled!"

Nabiki smiled as she watched Soun start making plans, things were about to get interesting, and that meant, profitable! 'Hook, line, sinker...' It was a gamble, but if Kasumi agreed to the engagement, then maybe she could bring him home where 'Uncle Panda' failed... Even if not, the rumors of Kasumi being involved in the mix now will stir up more business for her, especially from the other girls, and profits HAD been down since Ranma left. If it had not been for the extra she had received from hawking some of Kasumi's jewelry and the extra high prices on the 'limited edition, uncensored' photograph had been bringing in, she would be losing money these days. Perhaps she had grown too much since Ranma's arrival, it might be time to consider ...'downsizing'. Either that, or should would need to find a way to bug Hinako's apartment!

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A crowd of hungry patrons gathered around a closed Ucchan's Okonomiyaki, demanding to be served. The cute waitress tried in vain to explain their was no one to prepare food for them, but the words fell on deaf ears. Not willing to promise anything, Konatsu eventually broke down and allowed them inside, attempting to make them personally. While the service was slow, and the food was not terrible, it did not live up to anyone's expectations.

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Shampoo arriving with Kasumi for her afternoon lesson had been a surprise, but after the initial clash between the two rivals, things went fairly smoothly. He had shown Kasumi a new way to focus her ki, and after Hinako got distracted and ran off, he was able to take his self proclaimed future wives outside, and give them some personal attention. Their own ki balls were coming along nicely, and as an instructor, he was proud, though as the guy who normally was caught in the middle of their spats, he was ...a bit concerned.

Ukyo had been relieved when Shampoo declared that she needed to pick up a few things, and so would be walking Kasumi home. True to her word, the chef had not even considered getting out her ruined sauce, nor did she even try to make an okonomiyaki, and enjoyed allowing Ranma to cook for her for a change, she had never felt so pampered in her life. That is until Hinako asked where he learned to make such a dish, and he answered, "Kasumi-san."

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Ukyo recovered in time to see Ranma head toward the bathroom. Waiting until she could hear the water running, she quickly stripped, grabbed her towel, and ran in to ...'help' just as he was starting to wash his back. She giggled a bit as he hid himself, despite her wearing a towel herself, and knelt behind him. "Aw come-on, Ranchan, ain't no need ta be shy, we're childhood friends, we seen each other naked plenty a' times!"

"Kinda, but, that really ain't th' point!"

"But Ranchan, we're engaged, it's only right fer meh ta act like yer wife ...an' do things a wife does." She did her best to look round and peek as she was washing his back, to her great disappointment, he maintained his cover.

"Well yeah, but that'd mean it'd be okay with th' others who say that too, an' that don't seem right..."

"No! Is only okay for Shampoo, because Shampoo is wife, no is for want to be wife!" The door opened to reveal the unashamed, nude form of the proud warrior, standing before them, clearly not happy with being ...late.

"Hey you! Ranchan promised ta look after meh, fer th' rest a' mah life!"

Shampoo though about that for a moment. "...Is okay, Shampoo allow, but no part of say 'marriage', so that Shampoo job, so stay out! Can be one what take care of Shampoo many children!"

"That's exactly what it means!"

"No. Is fault, no say what mean, shampoo say, is wife, so if want play with husband, need ask Shampoo ...nicely."

"Like hell!"

Ranma was worried where this was going, and wanted to stop the destruction of Kasumi's house, before they had even been there two full days! "If yer gonna fight, take it outside please-...?"

"Is fine!" Shampoo's aura flared up as she cracked her knuckles.

Ukyo jumped up, not noticing her towel falling to the floor. "It's okay with meh!"

As they started to leave, Ranma realized that they were not stopping to get their clothing and likely forgot they were even nude. He knew he was likely going to regret it, but did not want to start a scene in their new neighborhood. "Wait! Ya might not wanna go out dressed like that."

Ukyo, suddenly realizing she was not wearing anything, crouched down, covering her chest with her knees. "Urk!"

Shampoo turned to face Ranma, smiling. "Is true. Husband is only man what should get free show!"

Ranma REALLY just wanted to run away and let all of this uncomfortable stuff work itself out, but his sense of responsibility to care for the house Kasumi put him in charge of looking after was too strong. "Look, how about instead a' tearin' up th' house, we calmly do what we came here ta do, an' then go ta th' dojo, an' spar like civilized people? I'll wash BOTH of yer backs, okay?"

The thought of Ranma's hands rubbing all over their bodies was too much of a draw for the two young women, and they both sat on one of the small stools provided for just that purpose. "Ucchan, ya washed my back, so, I guess ya should get ta go first..."

Shampoo was somewhat disappointed, but was not overly upset, as it meant that when she turned to face him as he washed her 'back', Ukyo would not be able to copy her. Then she could embrace him, and they could wash each other with their bodies! She was starting to drool as she pictured it, trying to ignore the ecstatic expression on her rival's face.

Ukyo passed out, unable to withstand the pleasure of the strong hands, gently gliding across her bare back. She wanted more, but the feelings of pleasure washed over her, sending her off to dreamland.

Shampoo was almost bouncing on her stool in anticipation, just waiting for the right moment to strike, when the door opened, surprising the both of them.

Hinako looked down at Ukyo, sprawled out, face down, on the floor, as she enjoyed the cool tile on her hot body. "Um, what happened to Kuonji-san?"

"Husband wash back. Is too too weak."

"Aw, why did you leave out Hinako-chan? I want to play too!" Hinako's expression grew more serious. "You should not go off to have fun without your guardian!"

"Is THAT why ya came in here?"

"Oh, no, Shampoo-kun, you have a phone call."

"What?"

"Who call Shampoo when here?"

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When Kasumi arrived home and announced her presence, her father excitedly ran up to her, ready to bust into tears at any moment. "Kasumi-chan, welcome home!"

"Hello Father, did Akane-chan 'offer' to cook again? Should I get out of the way?" If he did not want her to help Akane improve the way she felt needed to be done, then he should be the one to deal with it.

A glimmer of terror flickered across the tall man's features before he swallowed it, trying to recover his dominant personality. "What? No, no, I have some wonderful news for you, my dear!"

"Oh, well, isn't that nice? What is this news? Did Ranma agree to come home?"

"Not yet, but it seems you can help with that."

Worried she had been found out, Kasumi started to panic. "Ah, whatever could you mean, Father?"

"It has been decided, YOU will be the one to marry Ranma, and carry on our family's legacy! Isn't that marvelous?" An emotional Soun turned on the waterworks, thrilled that his most dutiful child would jump to do as she was told. Kasumi was such a good girl!

Kasumi froze solid, before an unintended smile flashed across her face as she pictured herself being carried across the threshold in his muscular arms, but dashed it away just as quickly as the alarm reasserted itself. "Wait! That is NOT right, have you even asked Ranma-kun? You should not force an old maid like me onto a young man like that!"

"Oh Kasumi-chan, three years is not that much of a difference. I know that seems like a bad thing now, but one day you will thank me."

"Whatever could you mean? ...Oh my! I... NO! It is not right to even suggest such things!"

"It's no problem now, my dear, you're engaged, so it is inevitable."

"Father! Why are you doing this?"

"The schools MUST be joined, and as my daughter, you will fulfill your duty and provide me with an heir!"

"But what about Akane?"

"What?"

"Is Akane not your heir?"

"Only until one of you produces me a grandson with Saotome's heir!"

"Father! How could you, and what about what Ranma wants?"

"It doesn't matter want my son wants. That ungrateful bastard is no longer my heir!" Genma's announcement shocked everyone in the room.

"Saotome-kun, what do you mean? Explain yourself!"

Genma unslung Ryoga from his shoulder, plopping the frustrated Lost Boy down, in front of everyone present. "This boy is my new disciple!"

Soun stared, completely flabbergasted for a brief moment. "Well now, that changes everything, doesn't it?"

Kasumi felt relief, she was starting to worry she was going to be forced to marry one of the boys! "Thank you, I am glad you can see it as well, Father."

"Yes, you will have to marry this boy here then!"

Kasumi was joined by Ryoga, and a previously eavesdropping Nabiki in saying, "WHAT?"

"Hey, old man, we had I deal, I agreed to this for one reason, and one reason only!"

"Oh what's the difference? This one's a better cook, anyway!"

"What?"

"How dare you?"

"That's it! What are ya gonna do about it, Boy?" Genma led Ryoga outside, and around the yard, taunting him all the while.

"FATHER!"

"Yeah, Daddy, that's low, even by your standards."

"What do you mean? They will do their duty, and everyone will be happy!"

Akane floated in, but hearing her father talk about 'duty' scared her back to her normal self. "Who is doing what exactly?"

"It seems Daddy decided Onee-chan will have to marry Ryoga-kun, to carry on the schools..."

"WHAT? DAD! How can you make your own daughter marry a pig? I know my P-Chan is cute, but that's just perverted! Humans shouldn't marry animals!" In the ensuing argument, no one noticed as Kasumi slipped out, called in a delivery order, and shut herself in her room to meditate.

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Shampoo had been the most surprised to receive a phone call, especially at someone else's home, one that she had only been staying with for a matter of hours! When it turned out that the caller was Kasumi, begging them for help, they were even further shocked! They agreed to do anything to help their friend, and quickly got dressed as they made plans.

Hinako wanted to go with them, but they finally managed to convince her that someone should stay there, and look after Ukyo, so she relented. They both knew, there was no way the hyperactive could manage to do this quietly, where as Ranma and Shampoo had both had a good bit of practice, during their 'ghost cleaning' training.

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The Tendo home was much more quiet that morning than was usual, that was until Nabiki went to get her morning cup of coffee and found the kitchen was empty. They had been robbed! Running around the house, she started to take stock of what was missing, and was starting to notices a distinct similarity in the missing items...

After checking to see who else who was home, and awake, she also noticed that two people were also missing, she had even checked Happosai's room ...just in case. Akane might have been missing, but there was evidence of her presence that morning, her pajamas were sloppily thrown on the changing room floor, her bed was slept in, she had refilled 'P-Chan's food dish, and was likely out jogging, but not Kasumi!

At first, her father did not take it seriously, trying to explain that she was likely just out shopping, or something, but he had not looked around very well...

"But Daddy, Nee-chan's room is empty, furniture, decorations, the sign on the door, everything, it's all gone, as are most of the dishes in the kitchen... almost nothing left in there other than the food and this note." Nabiki was calm on the outside, however she was borderline panicking internally. Kasumi was gone, and she was the only other one who knew the slightest thing about domestic chores, and she hated them! Worse yet, there was Akane, who would want to take over the cooking!

She had saved enough from her ...projects, and had barely spent anything from her commissions on Kasumi's jewelry, but it gave her little time to plan, finding a good place, on short notice ...at the best price, took time, time she no longer had... She would get her father to sign the paperwork if it cost him every yen he had! She mentally kicked herself for not planning for this contingent! She never thought Kasumi would leave ...ever! She figured that pushing them would bring Ranma home, and maybe, if he was engaged to Kasumi instead of Akane, he would get enough comfort to not run off again, but this was the worst possible outcome!

Maybe she could figure out a way to set up in one of the empty room at school, she would just have to avoid their nutty principal, who also 'lived' there. Not to mention, what few dishes Kasumi had left behind, would likely be ruined soon enough, and if she were going to have use her money to buy more, she would rather wait until she was in her own place! Once she got settled, those stupid old men were going to pay for their blunders. This was all Genma's fault for trying to take the easy way out, and switch to Ryoga, a boy who was already close to Ranma's level, and far better than most of the others around here. 'I don't pay me enough for this!'

Soun was in complete panic mode, and was running in circles, repeatedly shouting, "The burglars kidnapped Kasumi!"

Genma awoke to find out why everyone was shouting, and Ryoga tried to go back to sleep. It started to dawn on the two men who would be trying to cook, if they did not do something! They both desperately turned to look at Nabiki, hoping to get her to make breakfast, but she was nowhere to be seen.

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Ranma awoke, surprised to see he was alone in his new room, he had been having the distinct impression that someone had snuck into his room while he slept, and he recognized a familiar lavender scent, but seeing no one else in the room, he got up to wash, and start breakfast! For the second time that morning he had be startled, this time to see others moving around at the same time, he had grown unaccustomed to anyone else waking as early as he, and it was ...pleasant.

"Good morning, Ranma-kun, I hope you slept well. Thank you again for your help last night, I just do not know what I would have done without you both."

"Um, hey, no problem, always glad ta help ya. But how'd th' new room treat ya? We'd already prepared th' master bedroom fer ya, but hadn't gotten anything moved in yet, an' now ya real furniture is there. Did we set it all up properly?"

"It may not be set up exactly as my old room, however that is not a bad thing. I am happy with the change, and look forward to more ...such as this kitchen!"

"What can I do ta help ya then?"

"No need to worry, Shampoo already helped me, in fact, if you can wait for a moment, I would like to join you in your morning exercises. Would that be all right with you?"

"A' course! I guess I'll be ready in a few minutes, just gotta wash my face." Ranma started making plans to adjust his morning routine while Kasumi contemplated her rather spur of the moment decision. In a way, her choice had been a long time in coming, and yet she had never seriously considered the possibility before. Odds were that she would not have had the courage, were it not for the talk she had with Shampoo the day before, and the realization that there were people, such as her and Ranma, who appreciated her for what she did.

She had never felt as if she needed any recognition for her efforts, however there was a fine line between not receiving acknowledgment for one's efforts, and having someone take advantage of you. It was just that once Ranma had started to help her around the house, and always thank her for her efforts, it had made her notice the lack of that from every other angle. This boy, and later Shampoo, whom she had only known for a short time, had done more to assist her in a month's time, than her own family had in almost eight years!

Deep down, she had fully intended to go back, once her family learned what it was like to do without her. Shampoo had suggested a vacation, and after the stunts of the previous evening, it seemed like the best way to teach them to stop making decisions for other people, without considering their feelings and opinions on the matter. She had long known Genma to be thoughtless, and occasionally downright cruel, but her opinion of him only seemed to continue to degrade over time, something she would have originally considered impossible. Lately though, she had assumed that nothing the man did could surprise her, which, as it turned out, was a grave error, and her own father had turned out not to be much better.

That was the worst part, at least in her eyes, how much like the man her own father seemed to be! Like many daughters, she had long idolized her father, he had always been her hero, saving her when she needed it, carrying her on his shoulders, praising her cooking, and so much more. Unfortunately, as the years passed, he gradually became less involved, and more neglectful, pushing almost all of the responsibilities for running the household onto her and to a lesser extent, Nabiki. Every once in a while, the idea seeped into her mind that perhaps, it was not 'he' who changed, but rather her own perception of the events, much like with her view of Ranma's situation.

She was no longer a little girl, she was now twenty years old, and legally an adult! She might be his daughter, but that did not give him the right to force her to marry any teen age martial artist that happened by once in a while! It was one thing for Ranma, but to just switch it to any boy who could throw a punch, no matter how untrustworthy they were? That was going way to far, even for her! She used to think Ryoga was such a nice boy, but learning his dirty secret, how he abused his curse and got Ranma blamed for it... Well, Kasumi discovered a second person toward whom she found she could honestly feel anger, and here she had thought Genma had been the rare exception ...though some might say she just needed to get out more often, and pay more attention.

Hearing Ranma being enthusiastically greeted by her morning's assistant drew Kasumi back to the present, and she ran off to her own room to get changed. She was not sure how long her 'vacation' would last, but she intended to make the most of it! Even if she worked to help out, staying in this house felt like staying in a spa, where everyone cared about her, and tried to help her at every turn, she almost expected someone to be there to help her pick out her clothing.

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"Um, Boss, we finally found something you have been wanting."

"What is it, this better be good, I have a LOT to do!"

"Um, well, here..." The underling tossed the notebook on her senpai's desk, and ran out of the room, even if you were delivering good news, it was never a wise idea to be around Nabiki when she was in a mood like THAT!

"Well now, this IS interesting..." Nabiki finally knew the perfect revenge for those who ruined her life. She had planned on moving out soon anyway, but had wanted to finish high school first! Being forced to go sooner has really put a damper in her plans, oh, she could pull it off, after all, she was Nabiki Tendo, even if things were going to be rather chaotic for her for a while... At lest now, her life would not be the only one, she was not sure why, but Genma certainly wanted to avoid this meeting, so she would make sure to facilitate it!

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"Oh my, what is this? A hand-delivered letter, with no return address...? How very strange." Carrying the letter inside with her shopping bags, the beautiful housewife wondered what could be inside. Once she had put away all of her groceries, she opened the envelope and almost fainted at what she saw inside. The photographs of her husband and others of a panda certainly got her attention, and while she did not understand the part about a curse, or water, there was one major point of interest to her ...an address!

The trains were still running, so she gathered her belongings, including a long wrapped bundle, and decided it was time for her to make a trip into the city.

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For Ukyo, having Kasumi greet them as they got home was a bit jarring, to her it was Ranma's house, so to have Kasumi playing housewife, did not sit well with her. That was HER job, and she did not need someone who was 'better than her in every way' there to show her up, that was Shampoo's job! WAIT! ...Bad enough she was having to share with Shampoo, yeah, that was it! She was upset about him not standing up to 'the hussy', and kicking her out, but that nice side was part of what she loved about him, so she blamed it all on Shampoo instead.

She was thrilled to find out that her rival was still working shifts at the cafe though, since that meant she would not be 'home' in the afternoons and evenings, and she would, mostly, get Ranma to herself! She followed along and tried to do everything he did, work out, play games, do homework, and to help clean and cook... she wanted to make sure she was right behind him again to be the one to wash his back again, and thus, even if shampoo returned, hopefully guarantee herself to be the first one, being the only way she felt certain she would not be excluded again. She had passed out far too quickly to enjoy it last time.

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Walking up to the gate, Nodoka was mildly impressed with the size of the estate, though she was getting a strange feeling from the place. Looking at the sign, and concluding that since she was not 'challenging the dojo', she would go in the front. Opening the gate, the feeling of 'wrongness' got stronger, even as she walked toward the house itself. A stench filled her nostrils and she began to notice damage to the structure as she knocked on the door, and the two male voices she heard from within, did not restore her confidence.

"Kasumi-chan! Would you get the door?"

"Missing."

"Nabiki-chan, how about you?"

"Also gone."

"Akane-chan?"

"Locked in the bedroom."

"Who is left who can answer the door?"

"Well, the boy's knocked out, so just us."

"After you, Saotome-kun." Hearing the name, filled her with a combination of hope and horror. She may have found her goal, however she did NOT like the situation in which she found them, and why was 'the boy', unconscious?

"Hahaha! But it is your house, Tendo-kun."

"Fine, then we both go."

"It doesn't take TWO people to answer the door."

"But if I leave you here alone, you will move my pieces!"

"You wound me, Tendo-kun!"

"Fine, but if my pieces are moved, you will have to clean both of our plates in the morning!"

"URK!"

After a bit of shuffling, the door finally opened, revealing a tall man, with long hair and a mustache. He was somewhat handsome, but had a dark glow about him, that imparted upon her an even stronger sense of foreboding. "Good evening."

"Tendo-san, is it?"

"Yes, may I help you?"

"Oh dear, I certainly hope so, you see, I am looking for my estranged son ...and husband, I suppose."

Seeing the lovely woman before him, Soun felt sorry for her. "I am sorry, Madam, my wife passed away many years ago, never had the blessing of a son, and I never remarried."

"Oh, I am sorry for your loss, but I have been led to believe that you have seen my husband, and hopefully my son as well."

"I cannot imagine that I have, what is your husband's name? I do know many of the people in town."

"I believe you were just speaking together, Saotome, Genma Saotome, or more importantly, Ranma! Have you seen my son Ranma?"

Soun might have been startled by the woman's sudden outburst of emotion, and her leaning so closely toward him, if not for the fact that his facefault found him getting a VERY close look at his entryway floorboards. "You? You are Saotome-kun's wife?"

"You do not have to be so rude about it..."

"Oh, I am sorry, it is just that you are so, so ...attractive. I just never thought... Never mind, where are my manners? Please, welcome to my home."

"Um, thank you?" After bowing, the blushing Nodoka followed her host into the hall, kicking off her shoes, and almost falling down as she started to notice the deterioration to the home. If the damage did not almost all look recent, so recent they had not yet cleaned away the messes, she would have assumed the place had been abandoned for years. At first she worried that vandals might be a problem in the area, but then remembered she had not seen any other destruction on the way over...

Walking down the hallway, they grew closer to the source of the offensive odor she had noticed from the yard. She was unable to resist the impulse the glance into the room as they passed the kitchen ...she almost fainted upon seeing the horrors that lay within. At least the pile of dirty dishes was not overly large! She would have stopped to clean the mess, had she not been so close to answers, one must have priorities after all. She was horrified that her son might live in this mess, and even more so that he was responsible for the destruction and lack of repair!

Her fingers caressed the bundle in her hands as they turned to see another partially damaged room, devoid of life. "Saotome-kun! Where did you go? ...Hey! I told you not to cheat!"

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After moving his OWN pieces, Genma heard the voices at the door, and ran up to the room he now shared with Ryoga, doing his best to wake him. "Come on, Boy. We are getting out of here. Time for a training trip."

"Huh? First ya knock me out, and now ya wanna drag me off somewhere? What gives?"

"Your 'mother' is here, and we're leaving! Get your pack."

"Okaa-san?"

"Not YOUR mom, MY wife! Now, remember as we are leaving, pretend your name is 'Ranma Saotome'..."

"NO, I won't!"

"Look kid, do you wanna inherit my school and marry, um, who is it? We are back to Akane now, right? Do you want to marry Akane or not?"

"Um, well... I..." Ryoga suddenly found great interest in the way the tips of his index fingers touched...

"We don't have time for this, just grab your pack! The less time you spend together, the better! Now, let's go. I will explain later!" '...or not, if I can help it.'

As they made their way down the wall, toward the front door, Genma stopped suddenly, and Ryoga crashing into him from behind, almost pushing him into the katana blade that had just appeared, directly in his path. "Where do you think you are going, Husband?"

Soun almost fell over, unable to believe what he was seeing. 'It's TRUE?'

"RANMA-KUN! Is that really you?"

'Well, at least 'this one' doesn't turn into a GIRL!' Genma tried to slowly back away while her attention was on 'the boy'!

Ryoga had to bite his tongue to keep himself from blurting out that he was definitely NOT Ranma, and proceed to tell her exactly what he thought of him! If not for their fathers' promises that he would be allowed to marry Akane, though she was not taking it as well as he had hoped. She still refused to acknowledge him as anything other than her 'P-Chan', even going as far as pretending to not understand his speech. He supposed it could have been worse, but he had hoped that things would be wonderful, now that they had broken up with each other, and it was all HIS fault. "RANMA!"

The three men were all surprised when Nodoka took that as an admission, and squealed in joy! She carefully looked him over, admiring his muscles, but hesitating when she got to his face. They were worried that she would not believe them, as she closely scrutinized his features. "Oh dear, the years of living on the road have certainly been hard on you, haven't they?"

The three others had to pick themselves off the floor moments later...

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"NO, absolutely not! We have just been reunited after all these years, and I will not allow you to take Ranma away from me again! Nor will I allow my son to be raised in such squalor! Do you really eat food out of that kitchen?"

Ryoga nodded, happy to have anything made by Akane, however both of the fathers said, "Not if we can help it."

"It is no wonder you turned out this way, my boy. Come with your mother, and let us get a proper meal in you."

"No, you cannot take the boy! We are going on a training trip, tonight!"

"Out of the question!"

"My disciple's training comes first!"

"Oh dear, running away from one's mother is certainly not very manly, is it Husband?"

"Urk!"

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Ukyo saw Ranma getting ready for his bath, and prepared to follow him as she had the day before. She cautiously waited for him to go into the furo, and slipped in behind him to get changed when she heard voices from within.

"Urk! Kasumi! What're ya doin' in here, the 'occupied' sign wasn't out! I'm sorry, I didn't know!"

Ukyo heard a giggle. "Of course, silly, you seemed to enjoy it before, so I am here to wash your back again! Isn't that nice? I have to thank you for all you have done for me, somehow."

"No, ya really don't! Ya've done plenty fer me already! I don't need-"

Ukyo could take no more, she finished stripping, and not even bothering to wrap her towel around her, she barged into the other room. "Hey now, just wait a minute! That's my job!"

"Oh my, then why do we not both do it?"

"Yer on! ...But then, how do we decide who Ranchan washes first?"

"Why not let Ranma-kun decide?"

"Oh like that'd evah happen?"

The door opened again, as the next resident entered. "You Japanese play Jan-Ken-Pon, yes?"

"Of course, we love Rock-Paper-Scissors! Is this where everyone is?" Hinako poked her head up from behind the nude Chinese warrior.

"Why not just take turns?" Ranma had hoped to regain some semblance of calm to the morning.

"Wheeee! MY TURN!" Hinako tried to push her way into the room.

"No! Must win game first!"

"I just LOVE games!"

"Why does everyone always follow me in here?" Ranma grimaced, redoubling his efforts to hide his shame.

"It's fun!"

"Is wife duty care for husband!"

"No need ta be shy, Ranchan."

"That is what family does, it's skinship!"

Ranma started to wish they only had one shower stall, but realized with his luck, they would all try to squeeze in there too! "Why do we gotta do this as a group?"

"It's more fun that way!"

"That's 'cause yer th' only guy!"

"Well, ain't quicker if I'm th' one doin' all th' washin', if bein' fast is the point, then shouldn't ya be washin' each other?"

"Who Ranma want see Shampoo wash? Husband want watch Shampoo wash other girl? Shampoo do anything help put in mood!"

Ranma hesitated for an instant as the image of the curvy girl scrubbing one of the other beautiful women in the room... "Uh, that ain't what I meant! I'd rather be doin' this alone, but ya ain't givin' me much choice here!"

"Is point! With curse, husband should be most comfortable with naked womans, but is most nervous! More any boy Shampoo ever meet! Is one only way, even stupid Mousse more man than Airen!"

Ranma reacted to the insult to his manhood much as expected, he jumped up, forgetting his towel, and ordered them to take their seats! All four of them gawked for a moment, before falling all over each other to get into place, Ukyo and Shampoo were playing Rock-Paper-Scissors for who would get the right most seat, so Ranma started on the left with Kasumi.

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Ukyo and Kasumi had to be carried into the tub, though did manage to remain upright. Shampoo pretended to stumble, making sure her breasts fell into Ranma's hands, before insulting his masculinity again for closing his eyes. He also had to catch Hinako's fishbowl, to keep it safe, though she managed to crawl into the tub under her own power, or rather the power of the two fighting fish, who were keeping her 'powered up'. Beyond that, none of them were in any position to prevent Ranma from rinsing off again, and bolting for the other room.

"Next time ...should make ...wash hair."

They all ended up going to sleep quite early that evening, while Ranma managed to continue reading his book.

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Hinako had finished preparing her materials for her morning classes, and had been out patrolling the campus when she came upon a group of, mostly, girls, who were all huddled together, discussing ...something. Such gatherings generally tended to be against school policy, not that being in a group was a problem by itself, but what they were doing rarely was acceptable.

"What do we have here? You know baaaaad kids never get away from me, so just tell me what you are doing now!"

The students all turned around, with their hands behinds their backs, trying to look innocent, which just served to make themselves look all the more guilty, one of them even went so far as to start whistling. Making her seem like the best place to start, and Hinako directed her glare in that student's direction. "Is there anything you would like to tell me?"

As Hinako started to reach into her pocket, the now trembling student crumbled. "Yes! It was all me, I bought it! Just let these others go ...and I'll give it to you." That was a lot of allowance money she would never see again. She did not have to show them, her friends had better appreciate her sacrifice on their behalf, most of whom ran off the moment Hinako's attention focused on her confession. The nervous student handed over the well worn photograph she had been concealing. "Please, don't zap me!"

Hinako turned the picture over to see her ward, in all of his uncensored glory, and blushed. "What... What are you doing with this?"

"Normally, or just now? I mean, other than showing my friends, you know, you're a woman, you can see it! You gotta understand, the boys here, most are, well ...not worth dating, if you know what I mean, of course you do!" The glare she received caused her to shrink back.

"You said, you 'bought' it?"

The first year student looked hopeful as her face brightened. "Oh, were you wanting to buy your OWN copy? ...Oh, I guess not. I mean, I got it from a friend of a friend, I don't know where they got it from..."

She remembered the student she found with the other copy of the photograph. "I believe I know... You WILL see me after school, we are going to have a 'very' long talk! Neither of us will be happy if I have to come find you. Now, go back to class before I change my mind."

"YES MA'AM!"

"I thought I had already put a stop to this!"

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Ryoga was generally what some might call a 'leaky basket' because he wore his emotions on his sleeve, and was not good at keeping secrets, Akane notwithstanding. He could repress his emotions like said 'leaky basket' could hold water, and he was completely out of his element to boot. It had been twelve hours, and even with sleeping for most of that time, he was amazed he had managed to keep his identity hidden for this long, worst of all, that he was having to pretend to be his most hated person in the world in the first place! Stuck, living as his rival, in HIS room, with HIS mother, and could not even sabotage that relationship without hurting his own chances with Akane! ...She had to start treating him like a person again eventually ...right?

Pretending to sleep was the only peace he had gotten, with 'his mother' not giving him a moment to himself, even trying to wash his back in the bath, insisting that as his mother, there was nothing to be embarrassed about. The disapproval he saw on her features over his shyness made him even more nervous, which, in turn, cause her to look further disappointed. He could not tell why, perhaps it was his fear of getting caught talking, but there was something about her displeasure that really worried him. The worst was when he forgot most people washed in cold water, and she activated his curse, as well as getting her yukata wet.

After her initial shock, she examined him ...thoroughly, and leveling another dissatisfied glare toward his ...little piglet. It was the most humiliating thing to happen to him all week! To have a woman, of any age, to glare at his genitals, even in his cursed form, with THAT look, made him want to drop dead. As if his ego had not been tormented enough, she topped it all off with those soul crushing words, "Well, that is not very manly at all, is it?"

After she finished washing him, he managed to make it into the warm furo and change back, allowing him to explain how his curse worked.

"Then, that 'panda' I have been hearing about is...?"

"Um, well, your husband, ma'am."

"That does seem appropriate, I suppose..." Nodoka looked thoughtful before she shot him a stern look. "We have spoken about this, you should call me, 'mom', or 'mother', or some other variation, we are family!"

"Well, that could be, but ..we just met, and, if you don't mind, I'd like to bathe alone!"

"I DO mind, I am your mother, and I have not seen you in a decade, I need to make up for lost time! I simply must know everything there is to know about you! Tell me about all of your ...girlfriends!"

"NO! I never, I mean, there was one girl, but I haven't been able to confess, or anything..."

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Just remembering it sent chills down his spine! At first he was jealous of Ranma, for having such a close relationship with his mother, he could not remember the last time he saw his own mother, however he soon got over it. As if the stress of trying to remember he was pretending to be that bastard, Ranma, was not enough pressure, having that woman constantly hovering over him was getting to be far too much for the high strung boy. It felt as if he had a stalker, and he was actually surprised she was not sitting in the chair near 'his' bed when he awoke!

Unfortunately, he could not stay in bed all morning, it was time for one of his biggest challenges when staying in a house, finding the restroom before it was too late! He noticed Nodoka was, once again, carrying the long bundle she had brought with her to the Tendos place, and looking sad. He was worried what might happen if he asked for directions, she might follow him in there as well!

Deciding it was safer to look on his own, he started to feel the increased urgency of the matter, and began to hurry. It HAD to be around there somewhere, though he could not, for the life of him, remember there being grass in the hallway...

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Nabiki's week just kept getting worse, if the fiasco at home had not been bad enough, she had tried to sell the new information about her sister to Ukyo, but she no longer seemed interested, as if she were already aware, and now she heard Hinako was looking for her. The only bright spots had been her little revenge on Genma, and how well the uncensored version of Ranma's latest photograph had been selling! It was dangerous to let so many of those get out so quickly, but she needed to raise a lot of capital for rent, utilities, food, and deposits on most of that, and so many other essentials.

With both Ranma being out of her reach most of the time, and Tatewaki still being out of the picture, her usual sources of profit were heavily down from normal, but thanks to a good marketing campaign, she was finally managing to turn it around! She was starting to relax for the first time all day, and unwrapped the sandwich she had gotten for her lunch, when the door to the room she was using slammed open!

"Nabiki Tendo-san, it took me quite a while to track you down, you are quite elusive, but I hear you are the person responsible for these going around, and it needs to stop. This is a very serious crime."

"Can't say I know what you are talking about there, Sensei."

Slamming her small stack of recently confiscated photographs on the desk, her hand covering a certain portion of it, Hinako gave the seemingly calm girl a dirty look. You are saying you do not know ANYTHING about this?"

Nabiki feigned outrage, gasping in shock, and even blushing. "SENSEI! Where did you get those, they were from my PRIVATE collection, from modeling sessions Ranma and I did together, privately! We are both 'of age', what we do together is our business, not yours! I had wondered where that photograph had gone, and now I know! Should I contact the police, tell them that you have broken in, and stolen my property from my room? Breaking and entering is no laughing matter, I must say."

"I did no such thing! Students were passing these around, and I confiscated them, it is not appropriate material for school, and I was informed that you were the one distributing them."

"And I am telling you that they were from my private collection, and were stolen before I could even get some pixilation added to it, and since you have it, it does not look good for you Sensei." Nabiki stood, walking around the desk, giving the disciplinarian a sly glare. "Look, I can see you want to blame me for this thing, but I do not have time to deal with it right now, while I would like these back in my collection, I will allow you to keep them, since you seem to have developed such an interest in my ...'friend', and I will throw in some information I have recently learned. I feel like you might find this scrap of paper VERY interesting."

Not wanting to get distracted, Hinako tried to resist, but could not help but to glance at the paper and the read the part that was not covered by Nabiki's carefully placed thumb. What she saw, made her forget all about her original intentions...

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"Hey, Sensei, you ready for a good workout today?"

"Actually, something came up, and I am going to have to miss it. I have something I need to do, so you both will have to go home without me today."

"Huh, what's up? Ya need some help?" Ranma cracked his knuckles, readying himself to jump into action as a moments notice!

"Oh no, it is nothing like that, I just have a sudden meeting I must attend."

The disappointment in Ranma's mood was palpable. "Well, okay, have fun ...I guess."

"Do not worry, Saotome-kun, if I ever have a body that needs guarding, you will be the first one I call." The taller woman scurried off in the opposite direction, quickly fading from view.

Ukyo was not sure how she felt about that, but seeing as how the instructor was her only ally, and she did not want to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Ranma considered running after their teacher, just to make sure, but Ukyo did not want to waste the precious time she had left until Shampoo came back from work, and pulled him toward his new home.

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A young first year artist, sat in the teachers' lounge, hoping to have her ...reference material returned. There were several other girls who were also waiting for Hinako to discipline them. Several of them gave up after an hour, but one of them did not leave until she was forced by the janitor.

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Hinako approached the home, saw the name 'Saotome', and rang the doorbell, hoping it was not a bad time.

A voice came over the intercom speaker. "Ranma-kun, where have you gone? Yes, may I help you?"

"Um, yes, actually, I believe I might be able to help you with that problem."

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After pouring some tea, and joining her new guest, Nodoka had a lot of questions on her mind. "So you say you know my son? What, may I ask, is your interest?"

"I am sorry, allow me to introduce myself, I am Hinako Ninomiya, Saotome-kun's English and Homeroom teacher."

The elder of the two women looked hopeful. "So, you have taken a special interest in my son, have you?"

"Yes, in fact, I have, this situation has become very 'important' to me, on a personal level."

Nodoka's eyes went wide! Seeing that he had attracted the interest of such an attractive woman, into the bonds of forbidden love, she started to think that perhaps, he was more manly then she had first thought. "Oh?" The look she gave her guest was that, stereotypical of an older woman from Osaka, as Ukyo would have been all to happy to point out, had she been there. "You simply MUST tell me 'all' about it."

Hinako thought about it for a moment, wondering how much of what to tell the woman, not wanting to give too much away, nor freak her out about their current living arrangements, which could very well be ...misinterpreted. "Well, all of my students are important to me, however, your son has shown great ...potential, that few of my students can match, and I hope to see it ...nurtured properly."

Nodoka very much liked the sound of that, and poured the other woman another cup, eagerly urging her to continue.

"Well, while your husband did not feel as though a standard education was ...necessary for proper development, personally I disagree. My primary goal is to see that Saotome-kun is not only able to graduate, but also do so with the good grades that I believe are deserved!"

Well, Nodoka liked the sound of that as well, to be a proper man among men, he would need to be able to out think others as well, not to mention being able to hold a proper conversation with the ladies! "Perhaps my ideals were set too high then, so what do 'you' think, is my Ranma handsome and ...'adequately built' for your tastes?"

The woman's blush told the mother everything she needed to know, even if she did want to hear it with her own ears. "Um, well, that is, I mean, I cannot honestly say I have seen better..."

Nodoka had to fight to keep herself from swooning right there, but remembering what she saw in the bath the night before, she felt sorry for the poor teacher, who clearly kept herself far too busy. "I am sorry, my dear." She did not want to hurt her son's chances, but she also felt the urge to take the woman out to a club one night to see what else was available...

"For what?"

"Never you mind, it is not important ...for now. You will forgive me for asking, but you said earlier that you could help me find my son, so how did you even know that it was a problem, did Ranma come to you today?"

"What do you mean, in class? Of course! Why, would anyone think otherwise?"

"Well, not that it is any of your business, no offense intended, however I went to pick up my son from my husband last night, and Ranma ran away from me just this morning, a few hours before you arrived, so I would like to ask you again, where and when did you see my boy?"

"I am sorry, but that is impossible."

"I assure you, that it is not."

"There has to be some mistake!"

"There is no mistake, I went to the Tendo dojo, and found my son with my husband, who said..." Wait, what DID Genma say? For some reason that thought stood out to her, but she could not place it. "...Why would you say that there is a mistake?"

"We were together all last night! Er, I mean, tutoring! Saotome-kun is my student and I am also playing the role of private tutor!" That came out so poorly Hinako was mentally kicking herself, she just could not believe how that had sounded! She was so busy shaming herself, she almost missed the even more surprising reaction she received. Seeing Nodoka get excited by the misunderstanding, concerned the instructor, but she figured she should not look a gift-horse in the mouth.

"But, how could that be possible? The curse maybe? Did some pig turn into my boy? My poor Ranma, out there, all alone, naked, for all the girls to see!"

"Wait, pig? Did you say that you picked up Saotome-kun at the Tendo place?"

"Of course, where else? My husband was there, why would my son not also be there?"

"Because of your husband. Let me ask, how well do you know the man?"

"Not overly well, I suppose... My husband always did have a fondness for those training trips, after all, and it WAS an arranged marriage."

"Then I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your husband was not a very good father. The man was abusive, sold your son's hand in marriage on several occasions, kept the boy out of school, and is wanted by the law in no less than a dozen prefectures. Your son does not know the first thing about you, as your husband never mentioned you once to the boy, who assumed you had to be dead in order to allow that man to have custody. The idea that Saotome-kun had been stolen as an infant also seemed rather likely, considering there was no resemblance at all. You, on the other hand, are, with no doubt in my mind, related, I can tell."

Despite wanting to swoon at the compliment, Nodoka was shocked, being as neglected as she had been, she did have certain suspicions about her husband, and there had been those letters, but to hear such 'slander', it was just unbelievable. She looked the other woman in the eyes, steadying her gaze. "I assume that if you are saying such rude things, that you have some sort of proof, or I am going to have to get a bit rude myself."

"Yes ma'am, as I said, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, however I have been investigating this for some time now. If you would like, I can make copies of it all for you on another day. It is quite a lot, so you will understand that it was not something I normally would carry with me."

Nodoka thought about this, not wanting to put up with the insult to her family, yet wanting to give the other woman the chance to prove herself, so decided to be patient, after all she had said some complimentary things as well... "What did you mean, 'you an tell'?"

"Well now, I was not certain when I left on this trip, but after seeing you... Your hair and eye colors are not the same, however, there is no doubt in my mind that if you are not the boy's mother, then you are VERY closely related. You DO seem awfully young though, so it is possible that you are a cousin, or older sister, but I am willing to take your word on the matter."

"You seem to be aware of the curse, and yet, you say that my son does not, in fact, change into a pig, and my husband does not change into a panda?"

"Not exactly, you are only half right, the panda IS your husband, that is if you are actually married to one Genma Saotome," Hinako cringed at the thought, "however the one who turns into a piglet is a delinquent named Ryoga Hibiki, one of your son's ...rivals. What I don't know is why they were trying to pass the boy off as your son. After traveling back to China in order to fight though a hoard of powerful warriors, and save the Tendos' eldest daughter after being kidnapped ...they kicked my 'onii-chan' out on the street!" Remembering the tale, her emotions got the better of her, and she ...'flashed back' for a moment. Realizing what she had said, Hinako's eyes went wide, and she slapped her hands over her mouth as she exerted her willpower to get a grip on herself.

"Pardon me, but did you, an adult female teacher, just call my teenage son, 'onii-chan'?"

"Well, um, there is a long story behind that, you see..."

"Ooooo, my son is SOOOO Manly!"

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Well now, are you going to take me to see my Ranma-kun?"

"I do intend to, a boy need their mother, except you do not trust me, and I also must ask, what would cause a woman to give up their son to a man like that? I do not wish to insult you, I am only looking out for the welfare of my student, so will you be willing to indulge me, and meet for lunch tomorrow?"

Nodoka considered her options, and being the patient women she was, she decided that one more day would not kill her. Perhaps she could find out more about the situation in the meantime. "I suppose that I will."

"Yaaaaaaay!" Hinako applauded, as the joy overtook her.

"What?"

Seeing the look on Nodoka's face brought the energetic instructor back to her senses. "Nothing..."

"Back to this curse, you say my son has one, but it is unlike the other two?"

"Well it functions in the same way, although the way I understand it, there are more than one thousand of these cursed springs, and depending on which one you fall into, you change into whatever was the first thing to become submerged. I cannot say I am an expert on these things, I am only relating it as it has been explained to me."

Horrified, Nodoka's mind raced, what horrors could have befallen her son? "Then what, may I ask, does my son change into with this ...curse?"

"Oh, well that is easy, a girl, who is very much the spitting image of you!"

"GET OUT! Get out of my house this instant!"

"Why? What is the problem? I know it is a lot to-."

"My son is a man among men, nothing less is acceptable!"

"I am not arguing the point, as I told you before, I have never seen the like, your son is an honest-to-goodness hero! ...I mean, a bit rough around the edges, perhaps, but..."

"I no longer know what to think! I have heard so many unbelievable things in the last two days, I am beside myself. How can you possibly stand here and tell me that my son, both turns into a girl, and is manly?"

"Do you really put so much stock into how a person looks, or is how they act more important?"

"But, how...?"

"Trust me. Besides, even if your son were not 'manly', and I am not saying that is true, believe me, would that change anything, would you love your boy any less?"

"Ranma is my precious only child, so of course, as a mother, my love will never lessen, but there is far more at stake here than you know."

"Know that your son is an amazing young man, that curse only adds to it, and makes the boy more special, not less."

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What will happen next time? Tune in for, 'Everything I Know About Women, I Learned From My Pops!', or 'Boy Meets Mom' and find out!


	17. Chapter 17

First, I want to thank all of you who are reading this, especially those of you who take the time to comment, they give me the drive to continue the pace. I am glad so many of you are enjoying this so far. I just noticed that we passed the first third of the story, I hope I don't loose too many of you as we go. ;)

Please take a moment to respect all of the letters and brain cells that died so that this story might live. Bla bla bla, don't own anything.

Another kind of short one, but the next scene just didn't fit here that well, so...

Chapter NC17 - Not Again!

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Their argument was much less violent as they played with the Super Famicom in the game room, though it was no less intense, they had not even noticed Ranma leaving only to be followed moments later by Kasumi. Their battles went back and forth, mostly ending in ties, and they completely lost track of the amount of time and the number of matches that went by. While neither of them would ever admit it, they were having a blast while letting the insults fly!

They had pestered each other on almost every topic, from body type, fighting style, gaming ability, lineage, and even their chances with Ranma! ...They were loving every minute of it.

"Y'all nevah beat meh by just doin' th' same thing, ya gotta switch it up!"

"Maybe take own advice, there more move than Hadoken!"

"Hey, if ya don't wanna get close..."

"Speak of 'close', Shampoo want thank, for always chicken out. No even take advantage of live with Airen!"

Ukyo certainly did not want to say how she had tried and failed, on more than one occasion, the last thing she wanted was to give the buxom bombshell more ammunition to use against her! "Oh yeah, well at least Ah don't turn inta somethin' Ranchan'd nevah wanna be around ...like this!" With that, the chef tossed her glass of water at her unsuspecting rival, cleanly splashing her face, and just watched as it dripped down her body, and made her dress cling even more tightly to her curvy body.

After taking the diversion to finish off Ukyo's character, she turned a cold look to her rival. "What, you, do, there?"

Ukyo dropped her controller in outrage, unable to believe what she was seeing. "Hey! Why ain't ya a cat?"

Shampoo stuck her tongue out at her frustrated rival. "Don't one wish? Knew try that one day. Shampoo never have such opportunity, no take any chance, no want Husband to run, use waterproof soap since Ranma start dates."

"WATERPROOF SOAP! What th' hell is that?"

"Use soap, no change, even when wet! Shampoo use for Airen, no change, no scare away!"

"Oh my, isn't that nice, Ranma-kun?"

They both turned to see Kasumi and Ranma walking into the room, each carrying a tray of snacks.

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'How dare that trollop call meh a chicken? Ah'll show 'um, Ah'll show all a' 'um!' Wearing nothing but a thin yukata, Ukyo quietly moved along the hallway, heading for Ranma's room. Before she had reached the door, however, the familiar outline of a lithe figure dropped down from above, blocking her progress as they whispered harshly at each other.

"What think do?"

"Ain't it obvious? Provin' ya wrong ...again!"

"Is too too funny, shy girl no have nerve."

"Jus' watch meh!"

"Why bother? Both know, never do." As Shampoo taunted her foe, Ukyo slipped by her, and into the dark bedroom. "Aiya! Wait, where is going? ...Come back, no go there." Following her long-standing rival, the surprised warrior snuck in after her.

Ukyo hesitated as she neared the young man she intended to marry until she heard someone else enter behind her, and as carefully as she could, she slowly crawled next to Ranma, lifted the covers, and wrapped herself around his right arm, snuggling up next to him, and rested her head on his shoulder.

Whispering as quietly as quietly as only one well trained in stealth could manage, Shampoo mused. "What do there?"

"Duh, can't ya see? Ah'm sleepin' with Ranchan!"

Shampoo had to bite her tongue to prevent herself from laughing, and waking Ranma. "Yes, do that." Seeing Ukyo close her eyes as she listened to his heartbeat and breathing, Shampoo removed her skimpy nightie, and slid up to his other side, wrapping herself his arm and leg, and letting her free hand wander.

Noticing the shift in weight, and change in his breathing, Ukyo opened her eyes and saw a familiar shape oh the other side in the darkness. "Whatcha think yer doin'?"

"Same as Flat-one ...only better."

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"AAAAH! What happened? Why are ya both here? Why're ya naked, and where's yer HAND?"

Shocked out of a wonderful dream, Ukyo was only mildly disappointed to see Ranma trying to scoot away from her, until his words sunk in to her fuzzy head. Quickly checking, she saw she was not naked, and knew that could only mean one thing. Looking up, she saw Shampoo lying across from her, Ranma's boxers caught on her hand, having come off as he backed away from them. She might have been upset by the implications of that, if she had not thought to glance back toward Ranma, focusing on his morning manhood, which remained unnoticed and uncovered by its owner.

Still feeling the warmth in her hand, Shampoo considered herself the 'big winner' that night, and her predatory grin, along with the gleam in her eyes, showed that she was hungry for more. "Airen no be shy now, come back to Shampoo."

The door opened to reveal Kasumi, looking distressed. "Ranma, I heard you scream, is everything all right?" Taking in the full sight of the room, she gaped at what she saw, completely forgetting about thanking the girls for waking 'their host'. "Oh, oh, oh dear, Ranma-kun, what happened, does that hurt? Do you need ...help?"

Following her gaze, he finally realized the state of his lower half, and the location of his boxers. "Urk! Shampoo! Give those back!"

"No, is too too precious, Shampoo keep in scrapbook! Want back? Give Shampoo better memory..."

"Oh my."

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Almost everyone was surprised to have Hinako tell them she was not going to be going to school that day, due to having another meeting. After making a joke about a 'delinquent teacher', Ranma tried again to get her to tell him if she was in trouble, he would 'take care of it'. She insisted that was not the case, that he should just to go school, and not worry about it. Ranma had misgivings, but took her at her word as he was drug away by Ukyo. "Come-on, Ranchan, we're gonna be late!"

Shampoo was not overly concerned, and was more bothered by the fact that Ukyo got to 'follow' Ranma to school, while she had to go to work and deal with Mousse. At least he had been less trouble of late, concerned about his 'impending nuptials', he had been doing his best to avoid either her or Cologne whenever possible. On the other hand, what she had told Ranma and Kasumi was not exactly untrue either, it DID make her more nervous as to what the boy was planning, and she was afraid it could happen while she was sleeping.

Kasumi wondered what was happening, though decided to wait and see, though soon after Shampoo left for the cafe, Hinako confronted her. "Did you need something, Sensei-san?"

"Yes, actually, if you do not mind, I could use a hand. You see, I need to meet someone for lunch, and I am supposed to bring copies of some paperwork, however, it is a bit more than I can carry by myself..."

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The two women, walked down the street, each carrying a large box, filled to the brim with copies of photographs, documents, and neither of them were used to toting such cumbersome loads. Kasumi was not bothered by the weight itself, however she was used to bags, not a large box, and it used a different set of muscles. They both almost wished Hinako HAD let Ranma take the day off from school to help, as they fretted over their burdens, longing for the well toned help.

"I hope you do not mind my asking, I did not try to look or anything, however it seems as if an awful lot of these papers are, well, about Ranma. Is there a particular reason for that?"

"Oh, well, you see, that is because we are going to see Saotome-kun's mother."

Kasumi dropped the box on her foot, and did not even notice the pain. "WHAT? Why, did you not tell any of us? I would think Ranma-kun has a right to know!"

"I agree completely! I wanted to tell, but I needed to make sure that it was safe first. Anyone who would give up their child, their first born, to a man such as that, needs to be investigated first. Saotome-kun has been abused by enough people already."

Hearing her reasoning, Kasumi understood, she had secretly harbored such thoughts herself, though she would never dare to speak them aloud. "I see..."

"That is the other reason I asked you along today. You see, I am not entirely unbiased here, and I cannot fully trust my judgment on the matter, so I wanted someone else I trust has the boy's best interest at heart, to come along with me."

Kasumi felt honored to have been chosen for such a task, which is why it pained her to feel her foot ache as she tried to lift the crate of copies once again. "AAAAOOOOWEEeeee! That smarts!"

"Tendo-san, are you all right?"

Years of having to treat her own injuries, as well as her sister's minor ones, she had learned a few things about them. Everyone told her what an amazing doctor that nice Tofu could be, however her experiences had been ...less pleasant. It did not take too many times of coming out of the office with more injuries than she had when she entered, to take up a great interest in medical information! Most people assumed it was only for her sisters, or her general love of helping people, and while those were certainly factors, those people had no idea what she had gone through during some of her own visits, self-preservation had been her primary goal. After a cursory examination, she concluded that nothing was broken, and she would likely be fine, though she would be sore, and likely walk with a light limp for a short while. "I believe so."

Hinako loaded more of the papers into her box, before Kasumi lifted her own, heavily favoring her left side. "This is all my fault, let me call us a taxi."

"I will be fine, it is no problem."

"I insist!" Hinako left Kasumi with the copies, and ran to the nearest pay-phone before returning. Within moments, one arrived, they loaded it up, and were whisked off to their destination.

After they left, a diminutive figure stuck to the shadows and took the opportunity to enter the home...

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Ukyo had run off to check on the name plates, when lunch had first started, and had told him not to wait for her, so after finishing Kasumi's special bento, Ranma took out a new book he had gotten from Kasumi and unconsciously started pacing on the top of the wall surrounding the roof of the school as he got lost in the adventure.

He had started to wonder what had been taking his friend so long, but soon got lost in the pages of this new story. He did not even notice as he instinctively dodged flaming arrows, shuriken, kunai, throwing knives, poisoned darts, and other assorted weaponry, not one of them even scratching him. He never tore his eyes, nor his hands off of the book as he jumped over, kicked, and generally made short work of the team of ninja that had suddenly leaped out their various hiding places.

Not even batting an eye, Ranma calmly strolled back toward class, still deeply engrossed in the literature, that was until Hiroshi and Daisuke ran up to him, asking if he was all right.

"Huh? What? Somethin' happen? I was readin', not payin' attention."

The two boys stared at each other, dumfounded for a moment, before turning back. "But, Ranma, a bunch of ninja just attacked you!"

"There are holes in the building!"

"That part's on fire!"

"What? Naaaaaah. Let's just get back to class."

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Ukyo hated leaving Ranma to his own devices for lunch, she was not even able to cook his favorite okonomiyaki for him, but once she finished this favor, he should be grateful, and that thought sent her into a brief fantasy spot with several Ranmas wearing loin cloths and keeping her cool with long fans. Arriving at the woodworking club, Ukyo took a moment to come back to her senses before walking inside to find her contact.

He noticed her the moment she came in, and walked over, carrying a large box. "Ah, there you are, I was starting to wonder when you were going to make it. This turned into a larger job than you led me to believe."

"Huh?" Ukyo had no idea what he meant, she did not expect 3 name plates to be too complicated, even if she changed Ranma's from a plaque to a horse...

"The name plates were not difficult, though one name was difficult to read, it was all of the little extras that took the real time."

"What 'little extras'?"

"These." He dumped the box out, revealing a pile of shapes, animals, breasts, Kasumi and Shampoo's heads, making various ugly faces, a few okonomiyaki, and a number of scribbles. "But may I say, if you were the one to draw them, you have a good bit of talent, if you want to make some yen using your artistic skills, let me know, I have a few contacts, and people come to us all the time, but some of our members, while good at carving, cannot do much without a design."

Ukyo was shocked, not only that he make all of these silly things, but they looked almost exactly like her doodles! "Ya also do really good work, even if ya weren't supposed ta make all a' these, just th' name plates..."

"Oh, well I thought that you planned to hang them around them on the doors. Oh well, here you go." The young man loaded all of the extra carving back into the box, and handed it to her. "Thank you for your patronage, remember us if you need anything else done."

Not sure what to do with all of her extra pieces, she thanked her fellow student, and ran off. She needed to get rid of the rest of the 'doodles', but did not want to leave evidence lying around, so once out of the building, she ran for her restaurant.

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Nabiki stepped out from behind the wall, glaring at the older student. "So, you were able to get those cameras installed then?"

Nervously, the young man smiled. "Every one of them, though I did not have enough for all of the pieces." He hated to do it, but he had a lot of photographs of beautiful girls to pay off, and he still wanted to be able to afford to go to the next woodworking convention, Carvin' Con!

Nabiki nodded, she wished she had more of the tiny cameras to use, but her budget was far too tight these days. "Well then, I suppose that should clear a few thousand yen of your debt to me."

"What? 'A few thousand'? But you said-!"

"What, did you think you could clear your whole debt with such a simple job? Oh no! To do THAT in one day ...well, let's just say, I doubt you are 'built' for it." Seeing him hiding his hurt expression, Nabiki decided to turn the knife. "Why not, let's see it, drop those pants!"

"What?"

"Hurry up, I haven't go all day!" She reached over to help him with his belt. "Hahaha... Nope! But turn around, let's see that tushie. Not too bad, and your upper body it decent, with some creative censoring, we could disguise your other ...problem areas. It would take some time to work it off, but if you want to be in pictures, let me know." Nabiki turned to stroll out of the room, leaving the half naked student alone ...with the rest of his giggling club members.

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"Oh my, you certainly present a compelling case. I have not had contact with my husband in some time, I was starting to have my doubts anyway, but now that the boy my husband presented as my son has completely vanished, I just do not know. To be perfectly honest, the only reason I am here, willing to hear you out, is because you said you could lead me to the son I have not seen in more than a decade, and I have gone back to the Tendo estate, to found no one home, leaving me few other alternatives. How about you dear, what is your relation to my son in all of this?"

"Oh, oh dear, I ...I am Kasumi Tendo, so Ranma and I have been living together for some time, we are ...close friends."

"Oh?" Nodoka's ears perked up, along with her mood.

"Our fathers decided that Ranma would marry my youngest sister, a mutually disagreeable arrangement, that I am loathe to say, I am partially responsible for arranging. I was initially uncomfortable with the curse, and I thought that it was a way to help my boy hating sister. The more we pushed them together, the worse it got, yet none of us were willing to see it. I later learned how wrong we were, and to make amends for my, and my family's part in this affair, I have sworn to protect my precious little brother! You should not make the same mistake I did, do not let this curse cloud your vision of what a nice young man Ranma is, it does not change what is on the inside, I promise you."

Nodoka was impressed with the young woman's vehemence in support of her son, being the second beautiful woman to come to her, defending the boy, perhaps her worst fears may yet 'not' have come true...

Kasumi caught her breath, having rarely spoken as passionately in her life. "Now, Auntie, I have a couple of questions for you as well, if you do not mind."

"Go on?"

"You said that you have been to my home? How is it?"

"It looked to have seen better days, my dear. How long have you been gone?"

Kasumi looked sad, praying that the poor house would forgive her. "A few days. My other question, well, uncle Saotome, is ...well, I do not like to speak ill of people, but that man is ...not-a-very-kind-person! I just do not understand, how you could allow your only son to go with such a man?"

"Well, you see, my two men made to me a solemn vow, that Ranma would become a man among men, by the time they return. My husband was very insistent, you see? It was difficult, but as the wife of a martial artist, I had to endure, for the sake of my son!"

"You took that man's word?" Hinako was shocked! She had all but given up on ever having children of her own for fear of shrinking and having a miscarriage before she had found those marvelous fish, assuming she could even find a gentleman who had been willing to 'assist' her in that regard... If she ever were blessed enough by the gods to be allowed to have children of her own, she would want to spend every possible minute with them, and she certainly would never let someone like HIM anywhere near them!

"No, of course not!" The relief was palpable around the table as the lovely mother unrolled a scroll and placed it on the table. "I have a contract!"

Facefaulting, while sitting at a table, is no easy task, but a life in Nerima had them well prepared for the feat.

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"Ukyo-sama! You are back! Everyone will be thrilled!"

"Oh no, not fer long... Just need ya ta do somethin' fer meh."

The disappointed waitress jumped to the boss' side. "Of course, Ukyo-sama, what can this humble one do for you? Oh my. what are those?"

"A mistake, Ah need ya ta git rid a'..."

"Aw, they are so cute! Did you make these?"

"Sorta, someone made 'em from mah doodles... but, gotta do something, an' ain't got time, y'all'll take care of it, won't ya?"

"Certainly, Ukyo-sama, it will be done!"

Ukyo smiled, and patted her assistant on the head, before grabbing the door signs. "Thanks, knew Ah could count on ya!"

Konatsu smiled as she left the building, feeling good about being relied upon, and starting to go through the collection. "Oh, they are just so cute!"

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Kasumi could not believe what she was witnessing, that anyone, especially a mother, could be so cruel ...to their only child! "How ...how could you?"

Hinako was having a difficult time containing her outrage, if they had not been in public, she would likely have been less reserved. "I must agree, your son could not have known what was happening at the time, I can see holding your husband to task, but your son is blameless! Not to mention, I can gather many witnesses to attest to your son's 'manliness', if that is your wish. I will hear no more talk of threatening a child over some arbitrary standard, and an agreement they were too young to understand. It is the parent who is responsible for the actions of their children, not the other way around!" Hinako managed to stay seated, and not slam her hand on the table ...she was proud of herself.

While appearing to remain as calm as one could be, Nodoka's voice started to show signs of cracking. "You just do not understand the old ways."

"I may not be a history teacher, but I understand well enough, I also know a thing or two about childhood development. Let me ask you, how many children have you helped raise? As a teacher, I have seen many, and been involved in hundreds of their lives. There is only one thing I do NOT understand, that is how any mother, could give up custody of their child, to a man such as that!"

"Auntie, I do not wish to offend you, I too am from a very traditional background, however I am starting to learn, that just because the ways are old, does not necessarily mean they are correct. Some may be, but others may need to change, and holding a child responsible for the mistakes of their father, is one of them."

"My husband and I had an agreement, and as difficult as it is for me, I am honor-bound to see it through."

"Yes, but your son is blameless!" Hinako's indignation was beginning to boil to the surface, being the most visibly upset.

In contrast, Kasumi seemed as calm as could be, though anyone who knew the girl would have feared the cold fire in her eyes. "I have found that if a decision is difficult, then there is a chance that one is making the wrong choice."

Her motherly instincts were desperately screaming at her to listen to them, she wanted to rebuild her relationship with her son, and these women seemed to be the key... Yet, she had given up everything that mattered to her in life for that contract, it was everything to her, she even prayed over it! If she were to give in, would that not prove what her husband always said, that was she truly 'weak'? She had tried so hard to be strong over the years, she constantly steeled her heart, in the chance that she would have to follow through on their contract. Giving up her son to her husband was the hardest thing she had been forced to do so far, but being his second, and following up with her own death, was what she had to be prepared to do if things did not go as promised.

Her hands twitched on her bundle, feeling the familiar weight, her nervous fingers trembled, as she remembered the years of sleepless nights, lying awake, too afraid to sleep, for fear she might have 'the dream' yet again. The loneliness eating away at her, nothing to cling to but a single promise to get her through the years! To have tortured herself, denied herself, for so long, only to give it up, could she do that? Would that be the strong or weak choice? What WOULD her husband say? What would her father say?

Seeing the look of sadness and longing on the older woman's eyes, Kasumi leaned in, and gave her a hug, startling her, and causing her to drop her bundle, as it clanged to the floor. "It will be fine, I am sure we can work this out and make everyone happy." The gentle woman's smile returned as the pained mother's arms wrapped around her, slowly returning the embrace. "That contract was there for your own reassurances, all those years ago. Tell me now, which would you rather have, reassurances ...or Ranma-kun?"

Nodoka could find no words to argue the point, there was really only one thing she wanted, to see her long lost child! Years of repressed tears came forth, and Kasumi did her best to comfort her. "May I not have both? Until I see my boy, my real boy, please, help me know I am making the correct choice, tell me more about my son. I hear the two of you had quite an adventure in China recently, would you tell me about that?"

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"So you say, my Ranma fought though swarms of powerful fighters, to rescue you?"

"Oh yes auntie, Ranma-kun has saved me twice now," Kasumi remembered the feeling of being held in Ranma's strong arms, and how safe she felt there. "...it was wonderful!"

"Well, several of us helped, though that was essentially how it happened. Your son beat the villains and saved the girls, myself included, it was very heroic indeed." Even if it was a bit of an exaggeration, Hinako thought it was for a good cause. She had to make this right, after the mistakes she had made, everything she had done to repay her debt would be for naught if she failed here.

The stars had not yet left Nodoka's eyes as she drifted back to reality. She was enjoying Kasumi's rendition of the tale almost as much as the look in her eyes as she talked about Ranma. "I must admit, you two are giving an old mother new hope, something I have both gained and lost many times recently. You both paint a very manly picture, but I am not sure how much more of this my poor heart can take."

"Then, would you like to join us for dinner this evening? The two of you can have a nice long chat, and we can introduce you to the rest of our little household!"

Nodding, Nodoka slowly recovered, embarrassed at having made a private scene so public, on the other hand, if it will help her finally get to her real son, she supposed it might be worth all of the fuss. "So, you are willing to introduce us then?"

Kasumi looked serious, for a moment, her usual smile faded. "Auntie, as long as you are willing to leave Ranma-kun out of the deal you and your husband made, and promise not to upset the wa of our home, then yes, I would be happy to do just that. I am certain that Ranma-kun would be thrilled to meet you as well. This house belongs to your son though, so I am not the one who can approve anything beyond that."

"Wait, you said that the home in which you live, is owned by my son? How could such a thing happen?"

"I did. It was a gift, I just wanted to do something to help. It seemed like the least I could do, considering the situation..."

"The 'least'? Most people would consider that far above the most, several times over. How could you afford something like this, when your family home is in such disrepair?"

Kasumi looked sad for a moment. "It was fully repaired before I left, the other day, I made sure of it, however I am afraid I cannot be responsible for what they have done to is since I have left." The young woman let out a deeply regretful sigh. "I do hope there will be enough left to repair when I do return..."

"Oh, you plan to return to your family's home, and not stay with my son?" Nodoka barely hid her disappointment in her voice.

"Oh my, I should not, I only left so my family could learn to appreciate what it takes to run a home, not like Ranma-kun, the only one other than Shampoo-chan who ever helped me around the house."

"What is a Shampoo-chan?"

"Oh my, one of Ranma-kun's girlfriends, of course!" Kasumi's sweet smile made the unusual statement seem perfectly normal coming from her.

Nodoka could not believe her ears! "Wait ...one of ...girlfriends?"

"Oh dear, that is not a problem, is it?"

"Oh no, my dear, it is wonderful, for everyone except for you!"

"For me, whatever do you mean?"

"Don't you worry, Auntie is here to help." Nodoka's aura sparkled as she stared into space. 'My son is SO manly!'

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Hinako had insisted Kasumi take a cab home, despite her protests that she was able to walk just fine. She decided that the two of them taking the boxes of papers to Nodoka's house would give her time to prepare something nice for their dinner, and started thinking about her menu.

After thanking and paying her driver, Kasumi moved toward their home, though something did not feel quite right to her. She was still new to it, but paused to send out her ki, and while she did not sense anyone, there was just 'something' that felt 'wrong' to her.

Even knowing there was no one else home, she still said, "Tadaima" upon entering, and changed out of her shoes. She was quite apprehensive while heading toward the kitchen, the uncomfortable feeling never leaving her, and hoped everyone was all right.

She was just about to open the refrigerator, when her senses screamed out to her and she turned around just in time to see a small ninja man who quickly tied her up.

"Oh maurphferferm." The gag in her mouth prevented her from being understood, before she was swept off of her feet and carried away, though not in a way that made her happy.

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One of the least injured of the ninja sent to attack the school returned to give his report, while, at the same time, praying to survive the encounter after giving the news. "We are sorry mistress, Saotome-sama was too much for us."

"I told you!"

"Oh, what do you know?"

"I knew those fools were no match for Ranma-sama!"

"I am so glad, I would never want to see my love to be hurt again..."

"Oh, just go back to sleep, if it were up to you, we would just sit back and do nothing, while the guy runs off with some other girl!"

"For once I agree with you, we have had enough tragedy for one lifetime!"

Being a ninja, he snuck out of the room while his employer argued again, he was beginning to adjust to it, though it still freaked him out most of time. As if that had not been enough of a shock, on his way out of there, he saw the shortest, and least talented member of their clan, carrying an unconscious woman, easily three times his size toward the back room, and nodded to him as he passed. He decided after a long day, it was time for this particular ninja to take the rest of the night off, and have a long soak, in a hot bath, with a warm bottle of sake!

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"Sasuke, I believe we asked you to go collect someone important to Ranma-sama, so why did you bring me the help?"

"According to my information, this is one of Saotome-sama's closest girlfriends-."

"Girlfriend? GIRLfriend? To MY Ranma-sama? I thought it was your sister who held that honor! How DARE you try to worm your way into that man's bed?"

"Omoph, buddermoff." A muffled Kasumi vehemently tried to deny the charge.

"So you say..."

"Can't take any chances!"

"Well, that is probably correct. Sasuke, take this one to the ...playroom, for later, and DO make sure things are ...secure."

"Of course, Goshujin-sama!"

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"Sounds like you had a rough day, I used to be a kunoichi myself, until I took a shuriken in the knee, and now I work here." Konatsu pretended to show off a slight limp.

"Well, yeah, at least no one got seriously hurt, that's true. But that ojou-sama is crazy, I never know what's going on there!"

"But, it can always be worse, if you think your masters are bad, you should have seen mine! I could tell you so many stories, like being locked in a cupboard without meals, for getting more tips than my sisters."

"What?"

"Or the time they tried to feed me to the crocodile for looking better than my sisters."

"Crocodile, huh? We have an alligator, Mister Greenturtle."

"Oh, I did not care for the turtle, snapped at me something fierce, too much like a kappa. Always afraid it would try to come for me ...in the toilet." Konatsu giggled and blushed cutely, drawing even more attention from the few customers in the shop. "I will tell you what, Since you are a fellow ninja, if it will help to cheer you up, I will give you one of these carvings."

After Konatsu hefted the box onto the counter, the masked warrior looked through them, and casually noticed one shaped like breasts. "You say these are yours?"

Not paying attention to the man's choices, Konatsu was slightly offended by the accusation. "Of course! Do you think I stole them? I assure you, I am NOT that kind of kunoichi!"

Trying to be nonchalant, the young man quickly pocketed the carving he was pining for, and thanked his server. After paying his tab and thanking their host, he ran straight home, with a new evening's plan firmly in mind.

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Ranma rushed Ukyo along as they ran from school, he was hoping to beat Kasumi home from her afternoon shopping, Ukyo had wrapped the name plates, and he wanted them all to open them together. Receiving no response to their greeting, his mood was boosted, as he ran to the kitchen to prepare snacks for after their practice.

What he found in the kitchen was somewhat unexpected. It was not like Kasumi to leave a note for her normal shopping, and when he looked at it, he saw that is was clearly not in her handwriting ...mostly.

'To whom it may concern, we have taken (Your Name Here) hostage. If you ever wish to see them again, you will send Ranma Saotome, ALONE, to the Kuno estate, for an evening with the mistress, Kodachi Kuno. Do not worry, if you do everything you are told, no harm will come to your loved one.' Kasumi's name was written above the line in her beautiful handwriting, complete with a smiling face doodle, and a short note that read, 'stay safe'.

They both stared at the short note for a brief moment before screaming! Ukyo might have had subconscious issues with the older girl, however no one deserved THAT! "Ranchan! Wutter we gonna do?"

"It said I gotta go alone, so I need ya ta wait here, in case someone calls, er somethin', an' let th' others know, when they get back. Th' Kunos are nuts, ya never know what they'll do, but don't worry, I'll get Kasumi-san back!"

Ukyo saw the fierce determination on his face, and grew even more concerned. "That ain't what Ah'm worried about..."

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Hoping that her manservant's information was good, Kodachi was dancing around, waiting for her one true love to come running into her arms, her 'hostage' long forgotten as anything more than a means to an end. Kasumi could only watch the energetic young woman going through, what seemed to her, to be some rather extreme mood shifts, and wondered if she needed a doctor. She HAD been going on for some time, switching from singing to monologuing, and back, and it had been difficult to follow at best.

"Oh Ranma-sama, this will be our belated Valentine's day! I await you with open arms my love. I send you the black rose of my heart, hurry to my side, my love! Oh ho ho! Return to me, your passion, I will make your gallant self mine! It will be our secret, the forceful winds of love, make the flower petals dance on my breast! Like this, we are so lovable. If you return my love, then I will devote myself to you persistently! Oh ho ho!" Kodachi had stopped dancing, and hugged a pillow from the bed in the room. "Oh Ranma-sama, when this day is over ...you will be all mine!"

While Kasumi did not comprehend any of the technical aspects of the 'new chemical' she said she was working on, she did understand that she was a very disturbed girl, who certainly needed to learn to relax. Perhaps the next time she saw that nice little ninja man, she could suggest a refreshing herbal tea. She would go make some herself, but the ropes were well tied, far beyond her level of skill, and while she was thinking about how she would have to ask Ranma if he could teach her any tricks for escaping the next time they trained together, there was a loud crash, quickly followed by another.

Sasuke came running into the room. "Mistress, I believe your 'guest' has arrived."

Kodachi squealed, like a much younger school girl, threw down her pillow, and straightened her hair and outfit. "Obviously. Would you be a dear and show them in, please?"

"Uh, yes Mistress!"

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Ranma was not in one of his better moods, and decided to throw tact right out the window, take a page from the Shampoo school of entering buildings, and just punch a hole in the outer wall, to facilitate his entering the house itself. Before he got much further, Sasuke caught up to him, jumping back from the intensity of the boy's burning aura as he shouted out his query. "Where's Kasumi-san?"

"Um, sorry about that, the mistress asked that you join them in the playroom."

"Sayin' yer only 'followin' orders', ain't gonna save ya, if Kasumi-san is hurt, just so ya know."

"As a ninja, I put my loyalty to my master above all else!" Sasuke stiffened, suddenly even happier that his mistress had not decided to do anything to her yet. The littlest ninja jumped as Ranma cracked his knuckles and the burning flames showed in his eyes. "Oh, no, I mean, everything is fine, just follow me, you'll see."

"Ya better hope it stays that way, I know yer th' one that did it, an' I'm holdin' ya personally responsible if anything happens." Ranma's aura grew even hotter as he cracked his neck with the sideways tilt of his head. "Didn't wanna hurt ya later without ya knowin' why. Now, show me where they're at 'fore I get mad."

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Nabiki decided to check in with her new spy cameras, several of which were dark, and showing her nothing. Although the last one was quite shaky, at least it had a picture, though all she could make out was an occasional dark shape passing before the lens, someone's head perhaps. Whoever it was, they were apparently having quite a workout, judging by the heavy breathing.

She watched this for some time, hoping to see something interesting, and after several minutes, a masked face came into view before tumbling off. She assumed he had tossed, or dropped it, and it stabilized a moment later. She saw the bottom half of the masked man, realizing that it was NOT Ranma, and saw where his hands were, making her realize what she had been hearing.

"Eeeeew!" She was just about to slam her fist into the 'off' button when she heard an explosion! The camera seemed to tumble once again before going dark. "Well damn, that was a waste, let's hope the others yield better results."

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"Let, Kasumi-san, GO!"

Kasumi could not believe the relief she felt when she saw Ranma rush through the door, it was not as if she were concerned for herself, she was certain everything would be just fine after all. She did wonder for a moment about the small flask Kodachi had pulled out of her leotard, but was distracted by Ranma going into a pose she remembered from one of the lunches she had made for him. "Sonic Boom!"

The flask exploded, sending a glittering cloud of smoke filled part of the room. Kodachi grinned like a mad woman as Ranma had to back up to avoid getting caught within. Kasumi thought it had a pleasant odor, but had barely caught a whiff of it, before she had a mask placed over her face, and she was quickly taken out of the room, through a secret passage. "Oh no, my new paralysis and aphrodisiac smoke bomb, what ever will I do?"

Kasumi could no longer see what was happening, and she was feeling far too sluggish to even try moving anyhow. After all, she had such a warm feeling inside, that she knew it would all work out for the best in the end, so she just laid back and listened as the scene progressed.

"Then why ain't ya paralyzed then?"

"Oh Darling, I am mostly immune, of course, at least to the paralysis part! Ohohohohoho! Come my love, draw the sweet nectar from these honeyed lips, and we shall find ourselves flying to the heavens!"

'Oh my, that girl is so bold! ...Yet, why does it sound like it would be a rather ...pleasant situation?' Kasumi's blush was hidden by her mask and the shadows of the darker room. She wished she could see what was happening in the other room, though the sounds told her that might be ...troubling. Even as they grew a bit more quiet, she could hear it clear as a bell.

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The look on Kodachi's face made Ranma far more nervous than usual, his instincts screaming at him to be careful, something 'bad' was about to happen. "Don't ya remember? I'm th' 'red-headed harlot', th' one ya hate so much...?"

"That is a concern for my dear brother, who will likely not take it well, however I am over it." Slinking closer, to show exactly HOW 'over it' she was, Kodachi watch as Ranma started to back away in his typical form. "Do not worry, my love, we will find a way to rid you of that horrible curse, together. With the Kuno family resources, there is no place you cannot go, there is nothing you will not be able to accomplish!"

'Accomplish?' Ranma straightened his back, and stopped retreating, with a renewed sense of purpose. "That's right, I'm only here fer one thing, give back Kasumi-san!"

The lithe gymnast entwined herself around Ranma's body, and purred up at him. "Certainly, my love ...as soon as we are done here."

Kodachi was already feeling warm from the aphrodisiac when suddenly she got MUCH warmer, as Ranma's aura exploded, sending her flying through the wall, and out into the garden. "Okay, we tried it your way, now it is MY turn! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!" Pulling out her ribbon in one hand, and a bomb in another, she tossed the first bomb, waited for it to explode, and charged in, only to be thrown back once again by another explosion, before Ranma emerged.

"Ha-DO-Ken!" Ranma figured it would be best to take it outside, and prevent anyone else from getting hurt, however those bombs could still be a problem. He deflected most of them, keeping all but the outer wall of the 'playroom' from being damaged, the same could not be said for the garden itself, which was now full of craters.

"My flowers!" Kodachi shrieked, and started lobbing more bombs, in a much less controlled fashion, as the teas began to flow. "You don't love me, is that it?"

For once, his anger about the situation overrode the tears ...somewhat, and he managed to stay mostly on track. "Ya kidnapped Kasumi-san! There ain't no way!"

Kodachi's eyes darkened as her focus shifted back toward the interior of the mansion as she pulled out a spiked club and her razor hoop. "It's that woman then? Fine, I will take care of 'that' problem first, then, we ..can-"

The skies darkened, as the thunder clouds seemed to roll in, the lightning coming from Ranma's hair, which served to highlight his overly large, demonic-looking face. "NO! YOU! WON'T! IF YOU EVER! TOUCH KASUMI-SAN AGAIN, I WILL WIPE YOUR WHOLE FAMILY OFF THE PLANET!"

Kodachi was finally paralyzed, with fear of the Demon Head technique, and curled up in a puddle of her own sweat, at least Ranma hoped it was sweat. He quickly tied her up with her own ribbon and hung her from a tree, which she rather liked, despite having little left in the way of rational thought. She hung there, watching Ranma head back into her home through the gaping hole in the wall, barely able to drool for herself.

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Kasumi was not certain as to what was happening, but she could not have heard their voices more clearly had she been in the same room. The fuzzy warmth inside of her had grown considerably as she lay there, listening to their battle, and having Ranma standing up for her, once again, made her feel rather ...funny. She almost fainted when she saw his silhouette appear in the doorway and slowly fade into view. "Ranma-kun, you are blurry, we should get you cleaned up quickly, before your mother gets here."

Worried that she was hallucinating from whatever Kodachi had done to her, he hoped it would wear off sooner than most of Kodachi's powders. "Don't ya worry, I'll-"

"Oh my, no, I wasn't worried! How could I be worried? Not after YOU got here, Ranma-kun!"

Ranma looked down, seeing that Kasumi had a similar look on her face to Kodachi, and started to worry when even after untying her, she had not gotten to her feet. "Uh, are ya ...feelin' okay, Kasumi-san?"

"I feel great, except... Oh my, Ranma-kun, I do believe I am having trouble walking ...and I seem to still be wearing my house slippers, would you be a dear, and carry 'widdle' Kasumi-chan home, please?" Kasumi blushed at her own boldness, not certain what had come over her, but loving the sensations she was feeling. The feeling of Ranma touching her was sending waves of pleasure straight though her, it was unlike anything she had every known in her life, and she did not want it to end.

For some reason, Ranma was getting some of the same discomfort from Kasumi that he felt from some of his other, more amorous, suitors, and he could not understand why, it was Kasumi after all! After only a moment's hesitation, Ranma hefted the older girl into his arms, and quickly made his way toward the most direct exit, the hole in the wall.

Kasumi threw her arms around Ranma's neck, and enjoyed the feeling of rubbing on his chest for a few long moments before declaring, "Ranma Saotome, you're my hero!", and giving Ranma the deepest, and most passionate kiss he had ever felt in his short life.

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After getting the explanation from Ukyo, Hinako and Nodoka insisted on going after the others, Ukyo did as instructed, and stayed by the phone, in case someone called ...no one did. While neither of them knew the address personally, they did recognize the neighborhood, and within moments, were making a mad dash. Hinako with her fishbowl and Nodoka with her bundle, praying that she did not have to use it. She carried it everywhere, and had practiced with it occasionally while she was alone, which was a lot. However, whenever the thought about using it came up, she remembered why she had to bother in the first place, and would always get suddenly nervous. It made her feel quite clumsy, when she was usually quite skilled with any smaller blade. She assumed there was a mental block, she did not want to have to use it, she did not want to be good at it, though nor did she want her son to have to suffer if she had to be his 'second'. She could butcher her own, and suffer for her folly, but her son's HAD to be clean, the boy did not deserve to suffer for the sins of his parents! On that they certainly agreed.

Nearing the mansion the two women thought they heard an explosion as the sky darkened, and they heard yelling. "That way!" They came upon the broken wall, and slowly climbed inside, taking in the destruction of the garden, and then the house as they did. As their eyes surveyed the battered and broken terrain, they came to rest on the hole in the wall of the house, and what was standing within the center of it all.

Ranma stood there, surround by smoke and debris, holding Kasumi like a princess. More stunning than that, was the devotion with which she was giving to smooching her savior, for someone who had never kissed a man other than her father before, she was giving it her all! With the broken building, the fire and smoke, and rest of the chaos, it looked as if it were a scene right out of the ending of some action movie, where the hero beat the villain, and saved the girl!

"SO MANLY!"

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Once the kiss had ended and Nodoka had recovered from her fainting spell, quick introductions were made... "I had hoped we would have been able to have this in a better situation, but that is how it is. So, surprise, Saotome-kun!"

"Well, at least you did not change during the battle..."

"Ain't four times in one day enough? But wait...? You mean, I 'really' got a mom?" Ranma could not believe it, he had always just assumed she was dead, or worse, but for her to still be looking for him was simply amazing.

"Oh, my Ranma! Your mother has waited for so long! Let me look at you!" The clank of her bundle on the floor was ignored by all, as she jumped to embrace her long lost son ...who was still holding Kasumi, so hugged them both, showering them in kisses of her own. "You were right, I was a fool to worry! Oh my boy, you are just so manly and handsome!"

Kasumi did not really mind being caught in the middle of the mother and son sandwich, the woman had a very similar feeling to the way she remembered her own mother, and combined with the guilty pleasure of snuggling into Ranma's chest, she could not have been more content.

The adrenaline from his concern over his friend's safety wearing off, added to several shocks in a row, had Ranma barely able to maintain his grip on consciousness. The amazing feeling of Kasumi's lips upon his own, was unlike anything he had felt, and it was a testament to his 'training' with Ukyo and Shampoo, that he did not pass out right at that moment. Then to find out his mother was both alive and present in the middle of all of that, well, he was lucky to remain standing, let alone refrain from dropping Kasumi. His brain was racing so fast that it had no room for anything beyond the barest of essentials for survival. "How could this be?"

"You do realize everyone has a mother, do you not, Ranma dear? What has that man taught you?"

"I am actually not so sure on that topic, but we can talk about that later..." Hinako shook her head as she was reminded of the holes in Ranma's education.

Ranma tried to hide his face behind the only thing around, the woman in his arms, and when Kasumi saw his face coming closer to hers, she could only think of one reason for that, so kissed him again, currently unconcerned about her audience.

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NOTES

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Kodachi sang her song, 'Valentine ni Kuro-bara wo' [Black Rose for Valentine's], while holding Kasumi hostage, and part of her monologue was based loosely on my translation of that.

In the manga, Nodoka was shown to be quite clumsy with her katana, but much of fanon loves to make her skilled with it due to her always carrying it around. I hope that my explanation worked for you, as to how it could be both. My version of her in this is still no fighter, but she can normally swing it around without trouble, though her guilt about possibly needing to help kill Ranma prevents her from being overly effective with it. Whenever she thinks about using it, she fumbles.

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That's all for this one, hope you come back next time for, 'This Meeting's a Mother', or 'Die Hard 13, Die Hardest'!


	18. Chapter 18

Your eyes are weary from staring at the screen. You feel sleepy. Notice how restful it is to watch the cursor blink. Close your eyes. The opinions stated in this are the same as yours. You cannot imagine why you ever felt otherwise and you have no interest in suing me at all. The ideas expressed in this story are enjoyable and do, in fact, represent the opinions of everyone, because, let's face it, I have that kind of power at my disposal. Muahahahaha...

Once again, I must apologize for my second dream sequence, it is a longer one. While this does have a small baring on the motivations of certain characters, I think I over did it a bit, and it is entirely skippable for those who do not enjoy that sort of thing, or do not want spoilers for the 2013 'Journey To The West - Conquering The Demons'. It goes until the end of the chapter once it starts. For those of you who do like that sort of thing, you are in for a long chapter.

Chapter 18 - To the Depths of Dreams

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"Hey, thanks guys, I needed that! It's just been so hard the last few days, I can't believe Nee-chan would do that, and just leave all the work to me! It's gotta all be Ranma's fault, somehow, I just know it!"

"It's okay, we're your friends, and we can buy our friend dinner when we want!"

"Yeah! It has nothing to do with us making fun of your new iinazuke or anything! ...Ooops."

"I don't have an iinazuke, new or otherwise!" Akane's fury culminated in her punching a light pole, surprising its occupant, and knocking it for a tumble. "YOU! What are you doing here? You really ARE stalking me, aren't you?"

"Wait, I recognize that voice, Akane Tendo, I could ask the same of you."

Both of her friends let out a long, 'Oooooo', before Sayuri considered the implications of that. "You have had a lot of secret meetings lately then?"

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT! This pervert is always following me!"

"In each case, I was already there, when you arrived, that means I cannot possibly be 'following' you."

"You knew where I was going to be, and staked it out ahead of time!"

"I assure you, Akane Tendo, that seeing the future is NOT one of my skills. ...Believe ME!"

"Why should I believe you? All you people know how to do, try and trick us! Just a bunch of deceitful perverts, like that bimbo, Shampoo!"

"Don't you DARE say anything like that about my darling Shampoo! You do not deserve to speak that name!"

"You know what else I don't deserve? Being harassed by all of you crazy barbarians!"

"You have a problem with the old ways? Good. So do I, when they don't work to help me obtain my goal that is, so let's work together!"

"Together? Me and you? Never!"

"Look, I know you don't want to be with me, and I don't want to be with you, so-."

"What's THAT supposed to mean?"

"I thought I was fairly clear."

"Yeah, me too..."

"Not that I believe it." Sayuri giggled to her friend.

"Me neither..." Yuka held her friend's hands as they watched the scene unfold.

Akane punched Mousse into the canal, and turned on her friends. "Would you two stop for a moment?"

"Wow, Akane fights with this guy, almost like with Ranma!"

"It must be true love!" The pair swooned together.

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Shampoo had a great night, work was easy, she barely saw Mousse at all, and now she was on her way 'home' to Ranma! She hummed a happy tune as she skipped along until she reached the front gate and saw Ranma carrying a sleeping Kasumi, followed by Hinako and another, familiar looking woman. Shampoo felt as if she just HAD to know the woman, but could not place her face, and something else had to take priority! "Airen, what happen to Onee-chan? Is okay?"

"Yeah, breathed in some a' that crazy Kodachi girl's powders, it'll wear off ...eventually."

Noticing the blissful look on Kasumi's face, Shampoo felt a pang of jealousy, desperately wanting to be held in much the same way, but she just could not feel any acrimony toward the other women, actually managing to be happy for her 'sister'.

"So then, you must be this 'Shampoo-chan', that I have heard so much about."

Turning to look at the almost recognizable woman, the young warrior raised an eyebrow. "Shampoo know?"

"Not that I aware, but I have heard a good bit about you... and how you have been after my son."

It took all of three seconds before the last gear clicked into place, and everything suddenly made sense to her. "MOTHER! Shampoo is too too glad to meet! Is too too much honor to meet one what give birth to husband! Shampoo knew Ranma no get 'good side' from father!" The enthusiastic expatriate could not contain herself as she bounced in her excitement, trying to both shake Nodoka's hand, and bow to her. "Behind every great warrior, is great mother. Shampoo is too too happy, finally meet mother of first warrior what win Shampoo, body and heart!"

Nodoka absorbed all of the complements like a sponge, swooning. She just loved hearing about Ranma being a 'great warrior' and her being a 'great mother', with good genetics... However, what she found the most interesting, was that her son's latest girlfriend was also quite a looker! "So, you come all the way from China to be with my son, have you?" Seeing her nod, Nodoka's smile broadened. "Well now, that IS manly!"

"Oh yes, Shampoo do anything for Airen ...wait, is what now?"

"My manly son's fourth girlfriend, of course!"

"Forth? What is talking? Shampoo is wife! Number one wife! Others say want marry, but later, Shampoo say marry already!"

"That is a very nice attitude you have there, young lady, I am pleased to make your acquaintance as well." Looking over to see Kasumi still snuggling into Ranma's chest, Nodoka pointed toward the house. "Now, shall we go inside?"

"Four? Who? Wait...?" Now Hinako was confused as well... and counting on her fingers did not help matters, surely she could not be counting that kidnapper...

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After longer introductions all around, and a demonstration of the curse, Ranma took Kasumi to her room to rest, and found that his mother had recruited Ukyo and Shampoo to keep him out of the kitchen when he returned. All too happy to try and make a good impression on Nodoka, they had jumped at the chance to help. He saw Hinako trying to call the Child Protective Services on the Kunos, but kept mumbling something about the number not existing, so he left her alone.

He decided to gather his things together, and get ready for dinner. He had spent a lot of time practicing his handwriting, and now was the time to put it to the test!

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Kasumi awoke from a pleasant dream, in her bed, somewhat unsure of how she got there. The last thing she remembered clearly was Ranma coming to her aid, while at the Kuno mansion, everything after that was ...rather fuzzy. She remembered someone strong had carried her back, and must have tucked her into bed, at first she thought it was her father, but quickly realized that was not the case. For some reason she felt the need to peek under her covers, and felt relief that only her feet were bare, she was not sure why, but it seemed important to check.

Looking over at the clock, she saw that it was almost time for dinner, and panicked! Although, she regretted the decision to sit up with such haste, and she steadied herself as her world spun for a moment. "Oh my..."

Looking down, she saw that someone had carefully placed her slippers next to her bed, and slowly eased her feet into them. After only a few seconds, Kasumi started to adjust, and felt steady on her feet once again. Feeling better that the grogginess had passed, she made her way to the door.

The moment she opened it, an enticing aroma almost knocked her over. Her initial instinct screamed at her to hurry and do damage control eased, and she assumed that Akane was probably not the one cooking. Nonetheless, she rushed to the kitchen anyway, only to be refused entry, and had to join Ranma and Hinako in the dining room. Seeing Ranma sitting at the head of the table made her blush, she was not sure why, but it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.

"Ka-Kasumi-san! Yer awake! Are ya feelin' okay?"

"Oh yes, I feel fine now, thank you." Kasumi blushed again as she thought about her next question. "Ranma-kun, were you the one who took me to bed?"

"It wasn't like that! I mean, wait, don't ya remember nuthin'?"

"No, not very much after you showed up to save me, I am afraid. I suppose I owe you a 'thank you' for coming to my rescue, once again."

This time it was Ranma who blushed, remembering the form her gratitude had taken earlier that day. "No thanks needed! I mean, ya thanked me enough already!"

"That is very kind of you, but did something important happen?"

"No! Nothin' ya gotta worry 'bout!" Ranma blushed profusely remembering the kisses from the affectionate Kasumi earlier in the day.

"No? Okay then, well, thank you for saving me, Ranma-kun. I am sorry I was not able to made dinner, I had planed such a-."

Calming down, Ranma quickly tried to change the subject. "It's okay, it ain't like Mom'd let anyone else in there ta help, anyway."

"That is correct, there is no way that I will allow anyone else to cook for my son, on the first day we are reunited!" Nodoka walked through the doorway, followed by Ukyo and Shampoo, their arms all loaded down with dishes full of food. "I have to rectify missing out on a decade of my son's life!"

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Kasumi rather enjoyed the meal, and there was just something about having Nodoka around that was making her feel nostalgic, and much younger, almost as if she were back in school herself. It was exciting to see Ranma and his mother getting along, and she could not have been happier to have them agree to have Nodoka staying with them for a while. Shampoo and Ukyo both seemed happy, and were also doing everything they could to get closer to her.

She watched curiously as Ranma pulled out several boxes, and even more so when he handed one to her and one to Hinako, who could not resist the urge, and opened hers first. Inside the package was a wooden carving in the shape of a yin yang, though upon closer inspection, one could see that it was actually two fighting fish, swimming after each other in a circle, and with her name carved into it. Everyone was quite impressed with the work, until Ranma explained that he had the woodcarving shop make them, and that he had only told them what to make.

"I ain't even seen 'em myself."

Watching Hinako run out of the room to hang hers, Kasumi refocused her attention on another package. "Oh my, then you must open yours next, Ranma-kun, what did you get?"

Not wanting to argue with Kasumi, Ranma decided it would be easiest to just do as he was told. "Um, okay, I guess..." He quickly shredded the packaging to reveal a wild stallion, with no saddle, a long flowing mane, with a braided tail, and Ranma's name on it. It looked as though you could just feel the soft, shiny coat, like the 'half a horse' would get up and run away at any moment. The wood was stained so dark, that it almost looked black, except for the almost white eye, and the red streak in the mane.

"Well, at least th' good doodle got used too!"

"What was that, Ucchan?"

"Nuthin'!" Ukyo quickly straightened her back, almost snapping to attention. "Why, is somethin' wrong?"

"No, but, ya said-"

"Oh my." Kasumi just stared at her own carefully opened package, a snow covered mountain top extending out of the forest below, surrounded by clouds and birds, that almost seemed as if they could fly away, with the name in raised western lettering.

"Um, Kasumi-san, there a problem with yers?"

"Well, I mean, It is beautiful Ranma-kun, but why does it say, 'Kasume-mune'?"

Ukyo remembered writing Kasumi's name in many entertaining ways in her doodles, Kasubi-bubi, Kazumi, Katsumi, Gazumi, and more, but she had thought she had scribbled them all out! Suddenly she remembered being interrupted during her last one! 'KUSO! What-am-Ah-gonna-do?'

Nodoka looked at the 'mountain' and then at Kasumi's chest, and thought that it was a very 'manly' observation of him.

"Oh man, they got yer name really messed up! I'm sorry, Kasumi-san, if ya want, I'll git ya another one! Too bad, th' mountain peaks look good!"

Ukyo just felt even worse, with Ranma taking the blame and not passing it off onto her, where it belonged! She needed to fix this problem, somehow!

"Oh yes, it looks so real."

"Um, well, I also got these others ...fer the guest rooms... Ya can use one a' them fer now..." Ranma pulled out several small whiteboards, first handing one to Shampoo and Ukyo, each with their names written on them, as best as Ranma had been able to manage, a third to Nodoka, which read 'mother', and then a forth, blank one, to Kasumi.

Shampoo was excited to be officially recognized as a resident, and being in a temporary room suited her just fine, since she did not plan to stay in a room by herself for long anyway! Taking the dry-erase marker, under her own name, she wrote '...and Ranma's room'.

Ukyo saw what her rival had done, and followed suit, writing 'Ranma and...' above her own name.

Kasumi was a bit distracted at seeing Nodoka's smile while watching their antics, but quickly shifted back to Ranma trying to hand her one of the whiteboards. "That's okay, Ranma-kun, I brought the one my mother made for me, and it would mean a lot to me, if you would allow me to hang that one on my door. I would rather put this lovely thing on my dresser, so that I can see it before bed, and right after I awaken."

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Nabiki had finally gotten something on her second camera, and sat down to watch, hoping to record something good when she saw someone in a kimono walk into the room. They were facing the other direction, so she was not sure who would be dressed so formally, but made sure she was recording. The slim body, and the gracefulness of the person made her think it was her older sister, and was wondering why she was changing there. Was the sign in the changing room? That would certainly change things, she might get some very interesting footage that way!

As they got closer, Nabiki was still unable to make out their face, but when the last layer of the complicated outfit came off, she learned that she had made a BIG mistake. She was still not sure who she was seeing, and while she was not exactly unimpressed by what she saw, it was much better than the 'little ninja' she had seen earlier that day, however it was NOT what she wanted, which was frustrating her further.

Checking the third and fourth cameras, she found that they just gave her various angles on the same person, and saw that it was Konatsu, Ukyo's new 'waitress'. "Who would have thought that such a feminine person could be packing such a masculine tool?" While Nabiki did not consider herself an expert, by any stretch, she could say it was one of the nicer looking ones she had seen. Information she filed away for later use, if there was such a thing.

Finally checking the last camera, she saw her sister's face, and was thrilled. Finally, a success! She could not believe how few of those carvings ended up in Ranma's place! Even though she agreed with her 'agent', placing them in the doodles was more likely to get her into the bedrooms, and not just hung on the door in the hallway, but that turned out to be a failed gamble. Seeing her sister carry it into her room and place it on a counter made it almost worth while, though she did not really expect to get a lot of valuable information out of her sister, but it was better than nothing, and she was starting to think that would be the only result of her effort.

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While the younger members of the house were exercising, working off their huge meal, Nodoka pulled Hinako aside, wanting to talk about something she had mentioned earlier. "So, you were mentioning some ...holes in my son's education, would you care to elaborate?"

"How much time do you have?"

"As much as it takes."

"Well, as near as I can figure, your husband only admitted your son to school when they were going to be in one place for a length of time, and from what I have gathered, that was only when they were stopped by a persistent truant officer. Which is to say, that it almost never happened, your husband was quite good at evading authorities. This means that your son missed out on much of what we consider 'common knowledge', and this includes the subject I believe you are inferring, reproductive education. We have been reviewing most of elementary school lessons, and I was nearing that grade level, but I have never taught the course ...I am unsure what would be the best way to go about it."

"That is a problem, it is certainly not manly to remain ignorant of that topic. Let me ask you this then, you are saying while living with you four lovely ladies, my son has not done anything yet? That is very unmanly..."

"Yes, well, I believe your husband does not think very highly of such things, as far as I can tell... Maybe you have an idea to solve the problem."

"Well, it is true that my husband believes that women are a weakness, I have believed my son would still be taught the necessities." Nodoka shook her head. "I believe that the direct method would be best, what about you, Sensei?"

"Well..." Hinako was not certain what the other woman had in mind, but as his mother, considered she would give her the benefit of the doubt.

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Using her family's ninja skills, Ukyo had snuck into Kasumi's room that morning, and swiped the carving off of her bureau, before bolting for school. She had left a note for Ranma, and even skipped breakfast, wanting to beat them all to school. She ran straight back for the carving club, hoping to catch her contact first thing, and luckily for her, he had to drop something off on his way to morning classes.

"Ya gotta help meh, it's all mah fault, ya know Ah was scribbling on th' page, an' it covered up th' right name, an' fergotta cross out th' wrong one, is there ANY way ya can fix this name? Please, Ah'll pay ya fer a new one!"

"Well, you DID run out of here awfully quickly... I think I can, the letters will be inset though, not raised, what is the 'correct' name?"

"KasuMI ...and can you remove the 'mune' completely?" Ukyo was ashamed of herself, and embarrassed that her private little fantasies had become so public. She had even considered sending Konatsu to explain and have the correction done, not wanting to show her face in the clubroom again, but she had forced herself to face the music personally.

The young man took out his chisels, and focused as his aura charged. Suddenly, his arms became a blur and sawdust flew in all directions. The crack of metal on glass went mostly unnoticed by the pair.

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"Ranma, it seems as though that a nameplate is missing, did you sneak into Kasumi-chan's room last night?"

"NO! I'd never!"

Nodoka gave her son a stern look, admonishing him. "Why not, do you not consider the girl pretty enough?"

"That's not it, Kasumi-san is probably th' most beautiful woman I know, but ...that's just not right! Wait, what?"

Kasumi blushed at the compliment. "But that's not what-."

"Ranma, your girlfriends want to know that you find them attractive."

"Is too too true!"

"But that's not-"

"It is only natural between lovers, as a man you should be wanting to do this and that with these girls who are all more than willing to do them with you!"

"WHAT?"

"As your mother, I insist that you peep on each of these girls tonight! Do any of you object?"

"Shampoo always happy be helping Ranma!"

Ukyo was a bit more reluctant, but never one to be outdone by her rival, she agreed. "Not if it's Ranchan, Ah guess..."

Hinako was not shy, her size changing had ensured that on far too many occasions, her clothing did not fit correctly and she had caused a scene, she had grown accustomed to it over the years, even enjoying being able to tease men in her adult form. Considering they had taken a bath together before, and her prized student could not graduate, if he was forced to kill himself, she happily agreed, surprising several people in the room.

"Oh my." Kasumi was less comfortable about it, however, much like Hinako, she considered their previous ...encounters, and after blushing again, what Ranma's mother could expect of him if she thought that he might not be 'manly' enough in her view, which was starting to surprise Kasumi. How could someone who reminded her so much of her own mother, expect such things? On the other hand, it would explain the recent 'gifts' she had received, perhaps her mother was more like this woman than she originally thought. She paused slightly to worry about what she was getting herself into, before slowly nodding, causing even more shock around the room. "I suppose it cannot be helped then..."

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They had agreed that it would be best to just do it all at once, while in the bath, and so the four young women washed each other's backs, wishing Ranma had just come in with them. The only one who was completely at ease, was Shampoo, who happily washed away, just waiting for Ranma and his mother, to see how she was clearly the best choice ...in every way! Her aura of confidence was so powerful that Ukyo was giving her the evil eye, and yet she was also self-assured enough that she was able to just ignore the glares.

Thanks to Hinako and Kasumi, the conversation remained mostly pleasant as they waited for Ranma to follow his mother's orders. Hinako just loved the fun of group bathing, after so many years of living alone, it was like being apart of a family again.

"Oh my, why does this feel so much more naughty, than just taking a bath together?"

A shiver went up the Shampoo's spine. "Love be watched by Ranma! Make feel more sexy, yes?"

"We can't all be exhibitionists, okay?"

"If it's the guy you are trying to marry, it should not matter much, and it's not like this is the first time. I mean I am not trying to get married here, and I do not mind."

"Who'd mind with yer body?"

"Just get in water, hide body! Is no matter, once husband see Shampoo, no have eye for scrawny body anyway..."

Hinako wanted to calm them down, and suggested that they all get into the tub, wondering if that was why they were waiting...

"Go head, Shampoo be there soon..." She took her time, seeming to rinse off in slow motion, and doing a few stretches before carefully working her way over toward the furo.

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"That is close, Ranma, though if you tie it like this, then it bunches up your hair less, and you can tuck your braid into it, to help hide your identity. Considering the master, I would have expected your father would at least teach you this much, though I suppose expecting your father to know how to treat hair was asking too much... Now, try again."

"Much better. Now, you have two primary ways to work. There is peeking through an open door, the more casual peep, or there is peeking in a window, the classic Peeping Tom. They both have many variations, and each offer a variety of advantages, and disadvantages. Other than sound, the main difference is in how someone would react to finding you in one of these places. You are less likely to be spotted outside, but it would be easier to have a reason to be walking passed the door."

"MOM! How do you know all of this?"

"Every girl has secrets, Ranma, and as a man you must learn to respect this."

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Hush, now pay attention, this is important. Excuses, you need to always be ready in case the wrong person finds you."

Figuring that he would never need to do this again, Ranma did not think that this lesson would be needed, after all, he had permission for this time, and his lack of interest plainly showed on his face.

"Ranma-kun, does this lesson not interest you?" Nodoka thought that was very manly, to boldly peep, where no man has gone before! 'Yes, my son, peep like a man, all brazen and bold, with no excuses! YES!'

"Well, it's just not that important..."

'Just like a man!' Still, she wanted to make sure he thought everything through, a mother did want to protect her son. "Then what would you do if someone caught you?" Nodoka watched as Ranma seemed to shimmer and fade from view and felt a light breeze, which faded just as quickly. She searched all around the room, with Ranma staying just outside of her line of sight all the while. "Ranma, you can turn invisible? Well, that changes everything, why did you not tell me?"

"I can't, I mean, I'm not 'invisible', I am just staying out of sight, movin' faster then most people can see... If I just stand still ya can see me." To prove his point he walked out from behind Nodoka.

Getting a distant look on her face, she considered this new information. "Well you DO have one other option, that most men do not have..."

Ranma new exactly what she meant, it was not as if he had not tried that, for reasons other than peeping, but there was a fatal flaw to that plan. "Until a small amount a' hot water touches me, an' it ain't like there's no hot water in a bath..."

"Well, there is no need to be sarcastic, Ranma dear."

He looked properly admonished. "I'm sorry Mom, it's just I get accused a' doin' that all th' time, an' it's clearly a bad plan. I mean I tried it when I-!"

"That's my manly son!"

"What? Ya expect me ta be like Happosai?"

"No, of course not..." Ranma relaxed, feeling better about the situation. "...stealing is unmanly!" Nodoka looked on curiously, not understanding why, but patiently waiting for Ranma to recover from his facefault. "So tell me about this trick. Did you develop it yourself?"

"Yeah, I needed ta work on my speed, and Kasumi-san needed help around th' house, so I needed a way to follow, observe, and imitate."

"Well, that IS manly, stalking that girl, but how do you stay hidden if there are more people?"

Ranma did not like the term 'stalking', but he wasn't really able to find a way to argue the point, that kind of WAS what he was doing after all... Moving so quickly that he left a shimmering after-image behind, he climbed the wall, and clung to the ceiling. "Something like this, usually."

Nodoka was impressed at all of the advanced peeping techniques her son had created, he was clearly at a mater level! "You have convinced me, obviously I have little more to teach you on this subject."

Ranma was both relieved and uncomfortable by the complement. "Okay then, I guess we're done here..."

"What are you talking about, you have not had your bath yet! Now, Ranma-kun, get undressed, we will go join your girlfriends in the furo!"

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"Shitsurei shimasu!" The door opened to reveal Ranma, with Nodoka standing behind him, each covered by only a towel as they let themselves into the room.

"Saotome-kun, I believe you are missing one of the main elements of peeping, you are not supposed to be seen..."

"Oh no, we are all done with that, Ranma needs no more training there."

"That Airen Shampoo love! Always learn fast! Come now for Shampoo!"

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Kasumi was bored, she had so much help with the chores since moving, that in spite of having a larger house, she had nothing to do while the others were doing their homework. Wandering the halls, peeking into rooms, looking for something to clean, she came across a bookshelf, containing the second book she had gotten for Ranma not long before. He had been rather excited about the story when he had come to thank her for it, and the story did sound interesting, though very much like the first.

She decided that since he was done with it, it would not hurt for her to read it as well. She ran off to her room, and crawled into bed with a good book, only to lose track of time, and read late into the night...

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Kasumi arrived at a village that her master had told her was having trouble with a demon. She was not the first holy person to have arrived in the small fishing village however. A young man, with a wooden sword, stood in the center of a small boat, in the middle of their river, waving his sword around, and chanting. Splashing was seen in the water near the small boat, and the young priest noticeably hurried with his chanting.

She was impressed when a bolt of lightning struck the water where he pointed with his bokken, and even more so, when it did not kill every fish in the immediate vicinity. The explosion sent water flying in every direction which rained down upon the crowd as they watched the giant manta ray as it floated to the surface, clearly dead.

Kasumi's heart went out to the thing, as the villagers hoisted it out of the water, and praised the holy man, offering him money and two of their best dried fish. "Oh no, as a Taoist priest, it is my sole duty to help the world. I cannot take these precious things." Handing the two fish back to the village leader, he turned to walk away with the basket of money. "Hear me everyone, now that the demon has been caught, it is up to you to decide what to do with it."

"KILL IT!"

"Isn't it dead already?"

"KILL IT AGAIN!"

Chants of, "Revenge!" erupted from the tormented people of the village. They had lost many friends and family members to the demon of the river, and they wanted their pay-back!

"Oh dear, that is not the killer. It is just a stingray, gentle, kind-hearted, and cheerful. It just got a little big is all..."

"Who are you?"

"Oh my, I am sorry, I am Kasumi Tendo, the unkempt Buddhist miko. I am a demon hunter." She smiled as she bowed to the people who had gathered around her.

"We know about stingray, but we've never seen one so big! That priest says that it was possessed by a demon!"

"This isn't the demon-."

The priest with the wooden sword stepped forward. "These people have lost friends and family, a good mother was savagely killed by the demon. Oh, how that innocent family suffers! While you ...you stand here talking this nonsense!" Covering his mouth, he pretended to cry over the loss of the fisherman. "Your babble baffles me!"

"You are a scumbag, that's what you are!" The villager's outburst was chanted by the crowd. "Scumbag! Scumbag!"

"Please, everyone, listen to me, the real demon has not yet appeared!"

"Shut up!" A man stepped out of the growing mob. "Have you ever lost a wife?"

Kasumi turned to the man, and took his accusing hand in her own. "No sir, I do not have a wife."

"Have you ever lost a wife?"

"Mister, believe me, I have never been marr-."

He swung his hand to slap her across the face, several times, followed up by several of the other panicked villagers, who started to kick her as well. As many of the villagers held her, while other hit her, she yelled out, "The stingray is innocent! The real demon is still in the water, everyone, please, stay out of the water!"

The priest did not like the implications that he was unable to do his job, and tried to cast further doubt on his 'accuser'. "That's nonsense! This person is obviously working with the demon, and should be executed, burned!"

As the people carried Kasumi to be tied up, the priest started wildly pointing around, and yelling. "Listen up, I, Tatewaki Kuno, kendo master and priest, have killed this demon! It is perfectly safe here! You can go in the water with nothing to fear!" The onlookers nodded and smiled at him. "Go!"

No one moved, a few of them looked at the water, and shook their heads. The priest looked at several people, and nodded to them, indicating that they should be the ones to jump in the river. "Go on, get in there!"

Reluctantly, a man made his way over to the water, glancing back and forth between the priest and the water. As he looked deep into the water, he was kicked into the river! With a huge splash, the man thrashed about, panicking as he looked around. After a few moments of nothing happening, he finally calmed down, and happily waved at the rest of them. "It's safe! It's really fine!"

"HA! See everyone? Everything is safe!"

Following their lead, everyone started screaming that it was safe, and gradually more people started to jump in the water, and swam around celebrating. While most of the village were safely swimming in the river, several of them hoisted Kasumi up by her bound wrists, using pulleys to raise her high into the air.

Kasumi could not understand it, she could still sense a demon, and was positive that it was not the ray. She looked around, able to see for quite a distance from her vantage point. Having difficulty ignoring the screaming swimmers having fun. eventually she saw what she sadly expected, a ripple approaching from down the river.

As the large form approached, Kasumi started thrashing about, trying to get loose, while yelling to the people in the water, even going so far as to use rude language! "OI! Oi! Everyone! Danger! Listen to me!" She saw the giant white head pop out of the water, and go back down as it rapidly grew closer. "DANGER! GET OUT FAST! HURRY! MOVE! YOU MUST GET OUT NOW! THERE IS DANGER!"

Everyone ignored her, that is until a woman who was singing and dancing in the water was lifted into the air, and swallowed whole by the monstrous duck! The roar of the beast, and the screams of the woman before she was swallowed, sent the crowd into a panic, with everyone scrambling for the shore!

The village leader turned to the priest, in wide eyed shock. "Your Holiness, why did this happen?"

In a reassuring tone, he attempted to calm the man. "We're fine ...we're fine. Once you're on shore, everything is okay!"

"Yes, everyone stay calm! Get on shore, we are safe here!" A long chain flew out wrapped around the man, pulling him back into the water, before being eaten himself.

Everyone screamed, and tried to flee, but no one as quickly, nor as loudly as the priest, who pushed people down to get through the crowd, and escape with his basket full of money. The village chief caught up to the priest, and demanded he return the money, and accused him of tricking them!

The basket knocked from his hands, the priest turned back to his accuser, trying to think quickly. "Hey! I got rid of a demon for you, who knew there was another one? Look, we are fine up here, it's so high up we have to be fine!" The priest pointed from atop the platform of the middle level of the waterfront city.

The moment the man turned to look, another chain wrapped around him, and yanked him back into the water. The priest stood there in shock, unable to believe what he was seeing. He did not even stop to pick up the fallen money before fleeing for even higher ground.

Kasumi continued to flail about, she continued to shout advice to the panicking people below. "Don't move, stay down, and you will be fine! Just play dead, don't run!"

People finally started to listen to Kasumi, and things calmed down, though she was getting a bit nervous as the duck demon circled under where she was hanging. Things got a bit more hectic when the duck's wing knocked over one of the support beams, collapsing many of the bridges that connected the village together. As one bridge fell, a baby basket started to slide toward the edge, and the mother screamed. The priest, who had not yet found a safe way out of the village, dove for the basket, sliding down what was now a ramp. "Worry not fair maiden, I shall save your precious child!" He may have been a con-artist, but even he was not that cold-hearted!

He did not make it in time, and slid off the end just after the child. He was hanging from the end of the broken bridge, as the basket containing the infant slid down the lower one toward the gaping maw below. Waiting for the child to get near the end of the broken plank, Tatewaki let go, dropping onto the other end. "You shall not have this child, you fowl demon!"

His weight tilted the pivot of the plank, and the basket started to slid back toward him. "HAHA! No demon can outwit the legendary Tatewaki Kuno!"

Unfortunately for him, the duck used his bill to leverage it back toward him, and opened his mouth, to better allow the basket to just slide right in. Kasumi had finally worked her way free, and jumped down, to join the priest, adding her small amount of weight, and the large amount force from her momentum, to his own, knocking the demon in the head, and sending the basket back toward them.

As the man started argue that Kasumi tore his tunic, and should compensate him for it, the duck fell back and he bumped the plank, sending it spinning, and the basket flying into the water. Holding onto each other, they extended their reach, and Kasumi was able to snag the floating basket moments before the duck had recovered and gobbled it up. Barely managing to toss the infant safely into some nearby netting, she fell into the water.

She saw the duck about to launch itself at the baby, still hanging in the net, and panicked! "NOOOOOO!" Just as it launched itself in the air, the priest and some of the locals cut the rope holding the dead stingray, and it collided with the duck, throwing it off course, and giving her time to grab the infant, and falling onto one of the lower ramps. As the demon charged them, Kasumi tried to make a break for it, and ran up the ramp, as she reached the end, she made a mighty leap, and landed on the end of the ramp, causing the end under the duck to shoot up, and connect between its legs, causing him to stop moving.

"Oh my! I am sorry Birdie-chan!"

The weight of the collapsing demon landing on the end of the ramp, shot her up, and onto the next level where she was able to hand the infant over to its sobbing mother. "My baby's back, thank you, oh thank you!"

"I am glad to help, but please, stay back. Your Holiness, Priest-san, your skills are far greater than mine, please help..." Kasumi ran over to the cowering man, grabbing his hand, and heading back toward the demon.

"I think we have done all we can here, why do we not just run away together..."

"Thank you, Your Holiness. I cannot beat it in the water, where it is strongest, but if we both jump down there, we can throw it onto the land, and we have a chance!" Grabbing the man's arm and twisting it behind his back, she pushed him toward the edge, and they both jumped off, hitting the duck between the legs again, and sending it into the air!

The force of their jump was not enough though, and he came back down, landing in the same spot, while sending them flying. Kasumi landed back where she started, and the priest flew off in the other direction, landing on a fishing dock, hitting his head, and knocking himself unconscious.

Several of the villagers heard her plan, and volunteered to try as well. Three young men ran and jumped landing on the ramp in much the same way, to much the same effect, ending with all of them flying in separate directions. A second group of five people tried next, they were able to hit the demon harder, and send him higher into the air, along with the added bonus of crashing into each other before flying into the water, but had no further success than the others.

Finally, a vary large man, with a slightly smaller elephant, who shook the ground as they ran, yelled out, "Now, it's MY TURN!" Their belly-flop onto the ramp, sent the poor duck's genitals, quickly followed by the rest of him, flying.

Just as the priest had managed to stand after his poor landing, he looked up in shock only to be frozen, like a deer caught in a pair of headlights at the sight. He had only managed to start backing away as the duck landed on him, and knocked him through a newly made, priest shaped hole in the dock.

Having been out of the water for too long, the duck demon finally returned to human form as the villagers gathered around, with spears and pitchforks, yelling about how they wanted to kill it, though they were obviously too afraid to get too close.

Kasumi hated to be rude, but desperation made her be more forceful than she preferred. "Make way, please, let me through! Everyone, listen up, let me handle it. I am a professional demon-hunter!" That calmed the people down, after all, she had been right about everything else so far...

Kasumi took off her pack, unrolled her mat, laid out her artifacts, and sat down before the duck demon in human form. The demon sat before her as she played a small crank music gourd, and read from the book entitled The Three Hundred Nursery Rhymes.

Everyone, including the demon, gave her strange looks yet made no sound as she began to sing in her gentle and soothing voice which blended well with the dulcet tones. "My child, my child ...why are you so bad? Bullying, and cheating ...how can you do that? Learn to be good ...learn to be loving. Love is in your heart ...filling your life with warmth. Be good, be good, and come home soon. My arms are always ready to embrace you."

The demon did not want to listen, her comforting voice made him feel unpleasant, like he wanted to run away, but he was finding it difficult to move. Whenever he tried to turn away, she would move into his line if sight and continue. "My child, repent with a sincere heart. you will always be my dearest child. Be good, be good and come home soon. Study hard for a better future."

When he stared at the ground, she laid down, and looked up at him. "Turn back, and become a filial child again. We were all bore pure, like children."

The beautiful sounds of the angelic voice were finally too much for the duck demon, and he began to pound on her chest as he loomed over her. "If you don't know what you're doing, it's best to do it quickly!"

The crowd stood around, fearful, and trying to look menacing with their weapons. Suddenly, another woman grabbed the demon by his long black hair, and dragged him off of the taller woman, and slamming him to the ground, before punching him in the face in return. It was a terrible beating, and soon even the villagers began to feel sorry for the demon. Once she felt better, and the demon felt much worse, she pulled out a large cloth, covered in magical symbols, and wrapped him inside, pulling the drawstring closed.

The demon struggled inside the bag as it shrunk, revealing a small metal ball. The woman opened the ball, and pulled out a small stuffed duck, that was strangely wearing glasses for some reason... "There, is 'Mou-Mou'."

"Ducky-chan!"

"Aiyaa, is demon-hunter too?"

Kasumi nodded.

"Really? Why do think this?"

"Demon-Hunter's Handbook."

"What, it say?"

Kasumi smiled as she picked up her book of nursery rhymes, and showed it to the younger girl who just looked at it curiously.

"Three Hundred Nursery Rhymes?"

"It brings out the goodness within the demons, as we are all naturally good." She blushed as the other demon hunter looked through the book. "Also, I do try to add my own unique style to it..."

Rudely returning the book, the new arrival 'Harumphed', while looking Kasumi over. "Who say this?"

"My master."

"And believe this?"

"Oh my, well you may not, however I certainly do."

The purple-haired hunter giggled, and pulled out a golden bracelet, holding it in front of Kasumi's face, so she could see it clearly. Tapping it, it became two, tapping them together they became linked, shaking them, more formed, until she had a long chain of them all dangling before them. She then reformed them into a single loop, and replaced it on her wrist. "Shampoo like child's prank too." She laughed heartily as she turned and walked away. "Is too too funny."

As the younger girl soaked up the praises of the village, Kasumi sadly walked away, her head held low in failure.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Master Panda, I have returned."

"Yes girl, I can see that."

"I have failed again, Master."

The large man adjusted his wig, and drank from his sake jug while Kasumi was not looking. "I know. The water demon you faced today, was once kind. One day, long ago, that one was saving a child by the river. The villagers assumed it was a kidnapper, they yelled curses, and threw the man's body into the river after being stabbed. Filled with such resentment, the man transformed into the water demon, who returned and gorged on those who caused the pain."

"A question, if I may, Master? Are the Three Hundred Nursery Rhymes really that powerful?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I only want to stop the demons from harming others, like the other demon-hunters."

"As you know, killing is not the best way." He reached up and snatched a snake out of a nearby tree. "Never forget our principals and belies. A good man turns into a demon when their heart is overcome by evil. We must remove the evil, and keep only the goodness." He held the snake tightly, snapping off each of its fangs, before letting it go. Neither of them noticed the snake being abducted by a hawk moments later, unable to defend itself. "The Three Hundred Nursery Rhymes wake up our inner goodness, conquering the evilness in out hearts. Are you doubting our beliefs?"

"No Master, only my own powers."

"You did your best, and you did save that baby, after all."

"But so many others died, and more would have if that other hunter had not arrived ...including myself I am afraid, while I was unable to do anything!" Kasumi's tears flowed, making her master, who was not good with emotions, very uncomfortable. "Oh Master! So many others died, including one girl, who could not have been more than four or five! I just could not save them! They are all dead because of me! So many deaths!" The large man did his best to comfort his disciple. "Master, I am so useless! Maybe you chose the wrong student?"

"No girl, I absolutely did not choose the wrong disciple. There are few others who could take to my teachings. You just need that little extra 'something'."

Her tears slowing, Kasumi had to ask. "What is that little extra 'something'?"

Holding out his hand, he indicated something very small. "Just that little 'something'." Kasumi's tears flowed again in earnest. "Once you attain your enlightenment, you will fully understand, and by then, you will know the boundless powers of the Three Hundred Nursery Rhymes. Now, go, go!"

Kasumi was still sad, and wanted to be comforted, but her master would hear no more of it, shooing her off every time she attempted to get another hug. "Just go!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Having heard stories, Kasumi climbed a large hill and found an elegant inn carved into the side of the mountain. She barely noticed that the doors opened on their own, she was too put off by the strange feeling she was getting from all around the crowded place. As she walked down the stairs, a beautiful young woman ran up to her. "Welcome to the Hibiki family inn! You certainly have good taste. All of our guests love our food and decor." The hostess led her around to a table. "Just look at our stylish candelabrum. Doesn't it feel romantic?"

When Kasumi looked at it, her ki sight cut through the illusion, and all she could see were the blades of he pitchfork under the candles, it only served to increase her misgivings.

"From the number of repeat customers you can tell how good our food is."

When Kasumi looked at the patrons, all she saw were the corpses of the people who had eaten there once before.

"This is our signature dish, our famous roast pig. It is crispy outside, yet tender inside. It just melts in your mouth. I guarantee you will be back for more!"

Once again, Kasumi's eyes could see what was truly there, below the phantasmal mirage, a room, filled with the corpses of people, hanging from chains over the fire. She barely managed to resist the urge to vomit.

"Please wait, I will find a table for you!"

Kasumi nodded as the woman walked away, and grimly surveyed the room, the corpses of former patrons scattered everywhere.

"Honored customer, I have a table ready for you, this way please."

She resisted the tug on her arm, and spoke as calmly as she was able, given the horrors she was seeing. "I am a demon-hunter, please just reveal yourself."

"What do you mean?"

Kasumi spun around, swinging her walking staff toward the hostess, who casually caught it in one hand, and pulled out a very large, studded, punching weapon in her other. "Oh really? Go ahead!"

The young priestess pulled her staff free, and kicked the other woman in the face, and felt a bit odd when she saw it cave in far more easily than she expected. "Oh my! I am terribly sorry."

"Okay, you asked for it!" The waitress removed the studded metal knuckles, and put on another pair, with large spikes!

Kasumi punched the other woman, caving in another portion of her once lovely face, before she was able to attack. After a second to recover, she started screaming, as Kasumi slowly backed away. She was surprisingly shoved to the side before the woman could complete her attack as Shampoo suddenly jumped between them.

"Lightning Kick!" The young demon-hunter's leg sped into action, kicking the attacker more times than Kasumi could count in the blink of an eye. With the last strike, the specter exploded into a shower of golden dust.

As the other corpses started to move toward them, Kasumi ran over. "Thank you, may I help?"

"Yes."

"What can I do?"

"Get lost."

"Sure." Sadly she walked away as Shampoo circled the room, waiting for the right moment to strike. When the first patron threw a punch at her, she was ready, and tossed them to the floor, kicking his head until he exploded like the other. This got the full attention of everyone in the room who had not already been watching the scantily clad warrior with rapt attention.

She looked to the next closest corpse, and indicated that he come to her, only to see him shake his head 'no'. Never one to take 'no' for an answer, she grabbed him by the shirt, flung him around like a doll, getting him in a headlock, and punched his face until it caved in.

Throwing his arms up, he tried to wave her off. "No, wait! No more, I'm going to explode as well!"

His prediction was correct, and with one more mighty blow, he was also reduced to dust. Everyone else in the room jumped on her, trying to form a dog pile, only to be sent flying as Shampoo regained her footing. Tired of doing things the slow way, she spun her bracelet and sent it flying, and watched as it bounced from one construct to the next.

The demon's creations fell one by one, as Shampoo showed her masterful mental control over her amazing golden ring. Once the second wave appeared, she duplicated her hoop many times over, and sent them all flying, taking out all of the corpses in a matter of seconds before merging them back together and returning it to her wrist. One man remained, and attempted to run before being tackled to the ground, as he begged.

"Please, can't you be more gentle?"

Shampoo grinned and nodded at the undead man. She grabbed his left arm, and pulled it free, then ripped off his legs, before moving on to his head. "Enough this distraction! Come out now!" She could not see the quiet boy in the white robe, who was sneaking behind her, though she did sense someone close.

It was not until he was directly behind her, throwing a punch, that she managed to sense where he was, and barely had enough time to block, before her counter attack. The strength and acrobatics displayed impressed Kasumi, especially when she punched the demon, sending him flying. It did not seem to do much damage though, and they were soon throwing attacks faster than her eyes could follow.

Ryoga pulled the 'candelabra' from it hole in the wall, showing that is was a bladed rake, while Shampoo made two large stacks of her bracelet. As he started to advance, she began to fling one ring after another at him, aiming mostly for his face. They barely seemed to affect him other than slowing him down though, until it knocked off his bandanna. After several hundred attacks, his porcelain looking face cracked, and pieces of it chipped away, revealing the pig demon beneath.

Tired of this, he spun the pitchfork around, using it like a shield to block the rings. As her stacks ran out, she summoned them back to her before hundreds of them fired out from her hands, causing him to display an incredible show of speed as he blocked the rings coming from every direction. Ryoga then swung a mighty overhanded blow with his bladed rake, toward the demon-hunter's head. Shampoo quickly resummoned her ring, and created a chain to block the attack, however his strength and leverage were far greater than hers. The blades barely stopped and a thin trickle of blood ran down her chest as she barely managed to deflect the heavy weapon into the floor. Quickly using her superior agility, she flipped over his head, wrapping one of her rings around his neck, pulling him away from his weapon, now embedded in the stone.

Her subsequent attacks further shatter his porcelain, 'pretty-boy' image, reveling more of the pig-demon underneath. She grabbed his arms, pulling back, attempting a submission hold on the much larger, and stronger demon. "Come out and help!"

Thrilled to be needed, Kasumi leapt up, and ran to her side. "Of course, I have been waiting for a chance to help! What can I do?"

"Demon essence, trapped by ring in throat. Now go, suck out quickly!"

"Okay!" She jumped into action before realizing she had no idea how to do that, and stared at the slobbering face of the wild boar looking demon. Seeing the tusks, drool, and wagging tongue, she was rightfully disgusted. "Oh my, how would I suck it out?"

"With mouth!"

"Oh, oh dear, oh my, I, you want me to use my mouth, to suck it out ...of that?"

"How else? Is stupid?" She gave an exasperated look, clearly straining to keep a hold of him.

Horrified, Kasumi tried to steel her resolve. "Okay..." She tried to lean in more closely, but hesitated at the sight of the repugnant demon. "May I ask ...is there another method, by chance?"

One of his arms broke free and Shampoo fought to regain control of it as Kasumi backed away out of instinct. "Hurry! No can hold much longer!"

Kasumi hesitantly leaned in, making a nauseated kissing face. "So, how about I hold it down, and you suck instead? What do you think?"

Both of the demons arms broke free, and lunged for Kasumi as Shampoo grabbed at them again, barely managing to hold on.

"How stupid is? No fool around, this serious! We going to die!"

"Okay, fine! I can do this!" As she leaned in for the last time, the demon's tongue lashed out, licking her face all over. "I'm sorry, I just can not..."

The demon broke free again, grabbing Kasumi by the throat. Shampoo tried to pull him off of her, but was having a hard time getting leverage. However, her pulling on Ryoga's arms had the side effect of pulling Kasumi closer, and their lips touched. At last, a grossed out Kasumi commenced sucking, and the essence of the pig demon flowed into her, turning her purple.

Shampoo grabbed her shoulder, spun her around, and kissed Kasumi, sucking the essence into herself before blowing it into her magical bag as Kasumi whimpered about losing her first and second kiss! Shampoo breathed a sigh of relief before her bag began to thrash about and she was unable to maintain control of it. It broke free of her hand, and battered at the inside of the sack. Seeing this, Shampoo grabbed Kasumi by the arm, and pulled, yelling, "RUN!" They barely made it through the door as a boar, the size of a small elephant, broke free of the sack, and stormed off into the night!

The two demon hunters sat by a nearby river, finally able to rest. Shampoo stripped off her top, causing Kasumi to look away. "Is minor injury, but still should treat. Help please. Put pressure here."

As Kasumi hesitantly reached over, Shampoo grabbed her hand, and placed it on her chest, closing the wound so she could sear it closed.

"That pig demon was quite powerful."

"Is true. Could receive high bounty for that one. That no why you here?"

"Oh my, no, I am not doing this for money, I just want to help people."

"With those skills? What? Have death wish?"

"That is not important. That ring of yours though, that is pretty amazing!"

"Is heirloom, Infinite Flying Ring!"

"Ah, yes, Infinite Flying Ring, very nice..."

Noticing the blood dripping from the other woman's nose, she wondered. "Is hurt?"

Kasumi was embarrassed, she was not sure why, but touching the other woman's bare chest was making her feel strange, and her nose was bleeding. "Oh, um, minor hemorrhage, nothing to worry about... I am Kasumi Tendo, by the way. What did you say your name was?"

"Is Shan Pu, but most call Shampoo."

"Shampoo-chan, thank you for saving my life!"

"Is thanking Shampoo?" She closed her eyes, and leaned in, with an expectant look on her face.

"Shampoo-chan? Shampoo-chan? Are you all right?"

"When girl close eye, mean want kiss, no know nothing?"

"But, I am a girl!"

"No pretending, Shampoo know want too." Smiling, she grabbed Kasumi's shirt, and pulled her in more closely, but just before their lips touched, Kasumi broke free, rolling backwards. Recovering quickly, she grabbed her pack, and ran for the hills, leaving a very confused and disappointed Shampoo in her wake.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"There you are Girl, how did it go last night?"

"What are you talking about, Master?"

"You were flirting!"

"What do you mean? That is impossible!"

"How do you feel about romantic love?"

"That is just a Lesser Love, it has nothing to do with me. I am in search of a Greater Love."

The Master, called 'Panda', who was not a panda, held up a piece of a cooked bird, glistening in the hot sun. "Do you want a bite?"

"No." She watched as her teacher took a large bite, followed by another, quickly finishing off the whole piece. "Master, please, do not, it is against our beliefs"

"I don't desire this, so it is okay for me to eat it. You do want it, but say you won't eat it. That is the little 'something'."

Kasumi's eyes widened as if she were starting to understand, when suddenly she heard a bell.

"How dare you eat my goose leg! Have you paid?"

"I have no money."

The woman who had just been robbed smacked the master, knocking him over. Kasumi caught his wig, and quickly tried to catch up to her fleeing master.

After escaping, they made it back to the master's home, and Kasumi saw a drawing of the pig demon. "Master, so you knew about this pig demon all along?"

"The man's name was R. H. Hog, ugly as a boar, but a kind man who dearly loved a woman. This woman had an affair with a handsome man. The two of them murdered our friend with a nine-pronged rake. When loved turned to hate, this man became a demon, swearing to kill anyone who lusts after a pretty face."

"How tragic... Master, I am unable to handle such a strong demon, maybe you should take over."

"Well, sure ...but I'm quite busy these days. To defeat such a powerful demon, you must find the strongest King among kings! That one might teach you the secrets of conquering demons. Yes, that's it, go seek out the Monkey King, who has been imprisoned by the Buddha under Five Fingers Mountain, for the last five hundred years."

"The Monkey King? That is just a legend! No one has ever even seen that guy!"

"Oh, no, it is actually quite easy to find. At the foot of Five Fingers Mountain, look for an old temple. From there you can see a giant statue of the Buddha, four kilometers high, and seven hundred and eighty meters wide, the Monkey King is there!"

"Really, it is that easy?"

"You would have to be blind to miss something that obvious! Now, there is no time like the present, get going!" He shoved Kasumi along, starting her on her journey. "Oh, and remember, the Monkey King is tricky, so be careful."

"I will, Master, thank you, but how do I get someone like that to help me?"

"Use your knowledge, and THIS!" He held up the book of Three Hundred Nursery Rhymes, and Kasumi covered her head in shame, reminded of her failures. For not the last time in her life, she wished to to have more effective abilities.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Late at night, Kasumi was walking through the woods, when suddenly she found her feet were entangled and she was hanging upside-down from a tree. Glancing around, she saw a huge metal monstrosity rumbling her way. The fact that it was shaped like a very large, pink and purple cat, did not concern her as much as the fact that it was loud, spitting fire and smoke, and it was coming right for her!

Surprisingly, it rolled to a stop in front of her, and a door in the side opened. A woman wearing sleeveless navy-blue ninja garb, stepped out of one side, and several other barbaric looking women, and men dressed as women, came out from around the gaudy machinery, posing and looking rather menacing. The shortest one, a little man dressed as a ninja and wearing what looked to be Shampoo's magical ring around his neck, threw something, cutting the rope that held her aloft.

The hooded woman glared at her, as the others paced around her. They pulled four others out, who were chained together, including Shampoo, who appeared to have had her hands nailed together. They threw Kasumi down, next to the other, chained prisoners. Several of them babbled in a tongue she did not recognize, before the hooded woman walked over to them. "We came from th' South-West ta hunt demons, an' any demons 'er other hunters 're obstacles, an' obstacles 're fer killin'!"

She walked up to one of the men in the line, and demanded to know if he was a demon-hunter. When he denied the charge, she slashed him with a sword, and he fell over bleeding. "Yet, yer out so late, an' near th' demon's lair? Not likely!" Next she turned to Kasumi. "What about it, 're ya a demon-hunter too?"

Kasumi just stared at the woman, unsure of what to say, she did not want to lie, but she also did not wish to die without being able to be of service to anyone. "Who, me?"

As the woman drew her sword, Shampoo jumped to Kasumi's side. "Is Shampoo lover! We have fight, Shampoo run, Airen follow! Really, is wrong! Lover is only music teacher! Take out song book, and show!"

"Fine, ya say ya two women 're a couple, prove it. Do it, right here!"

With a sword to her neck, Kasumi was panicking and confused. "What do you mean?"

"Do it, do it now, while we all watch! If yer really lovers, ya'll do it right now!"

"Now? No can do here, in public!"

"No, that is not right! I would rather die than do that!"

"What? Rather die than do Shampoo? Think Shampoo want this?" One of the few men Slapped Shampoo, and threw her down.

"No! Wait! Please, do not hit Shampoo, I will do it!" The same man turned and slapped Kasumi.

"Just look to Shampoo, know can do!" She looked on as Kasumi started to undress, a look of utter despair on her face.

The man slapped her again, and she stopped. "You have gone too far!" Slapping Kasumi for a third time, he turned to push Shampoo, who had trouble keeping her hands together as she fell.

The hooded woman yelled and slashed at one of other prisoners, and blood spurted from his head as one of the men laughed at him. "Enough a' this! Hurry up, er yer next!"

"You are animals! You slaughter the innocent, you horrible beasts!"

"Yes, is such beast, take off clothes now!"

Once again, Kasumi started to strip, only to stop and yell. "You are worse then animals!"

"Come on, Shampoo help ...must hurry!" She stood, and ran over to help Kasumi remove her clothing, when they both noticed her hands were not actually hurt. Realizing her mistake, Shampoo tried to reposition herself, so that her hands were together again, looking as if the spike had gone through them again. She lowered her head in shame, realizing the jig was up.

Kasumi carefully inspected her hands, removing the fake spikes. One of the men turned to her, as calm as could be, his voice a low whisper. "Hey, just keep going."

Kasumi was on the verge of tears once again. "So, you were all in on this together then?"

Shampoo stood, barking commands. "All right, game is over!"

Everyone, including the people who 'died', got up and started to take off their prosthetics. "Too bad."

"Pay up!" One of the 'actors' held out their hands while another started dolling out coins to everyone who participated in the ruse.

One of the men who was dressed as a woman, walked up to Shampoo, with a rather proud grin on his face. "Did it go well?"

The hooded woman stepped between them. "Konatsu, ya fool! Did ya see anyone gettin' it on? So, a' course not!" When she slapped him, his prosthetics started shooting blood everywhere.

"Git away from me!"

"IS this one fault, look how blood spray, look too too fake! Is even still spraying!"

"It's broken, mechanical failure!"

"Fools is too too useless!"

They all bowed down to her. "We're sorry boss, don't be angry!"

"Oh my! 'Boss'? What is happening here?"

"Shampoo already belong Kasumi, have no choice!"

"What do you mean?"

"Kasumi forget? Kiss Shampoo, felt up, Shampoo never feel so special!"

Tsubasa jumped up, outraged. "What? This one all ready kissed and felt you up?"

"Shut up!" Shampoo turned to scream at her underling, who instantly backed-off in fear.

"Fine!" Her outrage vented, she turned back to Kasumi, and tried to regain her good cheer.

Kasumi bowed, still visibly shaken. "Lady Warrior, I apologize if I have offended you. I am just a simple, common demon-hunter. I ...have a dream! I live only for the 'Greater Love', this Lesser Love is not for me, but no matter what I say, you will never understand." Kasumi turned, and started walking away.

"Wait, Shampoo is demon-hunter too. Can understand!"

"That is good." Kasumi turned back to face her, not wanting to be rude to the other woman who was still speaking to her.

"But this is Shampoo wish, find person of dream, start family, and live simple life!" She tried to look nonchalant, but was clearly nervous, and seeing the stern look on Kasumi's face did not make it easier to find her words in the foreign tongue.

"But I am a girl!" Kasumi did not understand, even if she was looking for this 'lesser love', how could the two of them be 'a family'?

"So? Only need male is for make babies, we find good mans later. One what make Shampoo happy is Kasumi!" She fell to her knees, hands still pressed together as she begged the taller woman to stay with her.

Kasumi just stared at the frazzled young woman, unable to believe her ears. "What? That's crazy!"

As she turned to walk away, the others stopped her, and asked, "OHohohohoho! Boss, what should we do with this one then?"

"The cage!" Shampoo's smile faded as she screamed in frustration.

"You heard the boss, Sasuke, lock this one up, and guard the cage!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi sat in her cage, unsure of what to do, she needed to relieve herself, and did not wish to do so in the cage. On the other hand, she did not wish to bother that nice guard, who had already told her that he was not allowed to let her go, and she did not wish to get him into trouble. Being unable to sleep, and being bored, she began to meditate. As she entered her trance, voices began to filter into her mind.

"This person does not appreciate you, Boss!"

"So rude!"

"Not just rude, but to ignore a woman's heartfelt plea, it's downright inhumane!"

"What Konatsu think?"

"Well, back when I died, I think that woman showed real empathy, seemed to really care about us. However, when so much blood spurted out, without suspecting anything was wrong, possibly shows a low level of intelligence."

"A real idiot! Hahaha!"

"Who bigger idiot?"

The burly woman sat there, thinking about it for a moment, before saying, "That women, fer sure! ...right?"

Kasumi could feel the silent tension from there, as they all tried to find somewhere else to be looking. It was a while before she heard anyone else speak, but then two voices were heard from further away. On of them being obviously the sing-song voice of her nominal captor, and that of the hooded woman from earlier.

"Think maybe is just trusting, but spurning Shampoo advances, was this so rude?"

"Well, yeah, a' course, but also showed some positive qualities too, and seems to care about people, so there's that."

She barely made out Shampoo's sigh, and the mumbles that followed, but after some giggles, the voices grew clearer. "...seems cowardly, but if this is what ya want, Aneki, then ya know Ah'll support ya all th' way!"

"No, is all wrong, Kasumi braver then anyone Shampoo ever meet! Though seemingly weak, that one fight demons with only Nursery Rhymes! No do for fame, no do for fortune, only do to help people! Shampoo never know anyone with such courage!"

The squeals of the two 'sisters' carried on for some time, and Kasumi tuned them out, looking to see if there was anything else of interest, what she sensed broke her out of her trance completely!

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"It's coming, we need to move!" Kasumi shouted just before the alarm bells started to ring on the traps they had set up around their encampment. It did not take long before she started to hear the crashing sounds of things being broken, and people yelling. Looking up she saw a piece of one of their machines fly overhead.

Suddenly Shampoo was at the gate, fumbling with the keys to unlock her door. "Must hurry, follow Shampoo, now!" Kasumi followed her passed the broken building and the collapsed tents before they got to their vehicle. "Get in Battle Chariot! We leaving now!"

Shampoo was the last one in and she slammed the door closed before barking orders. "Start 'Ironblood System'!"

One enormous woman grabbed a huge leather pouch with a hose. She blew up the pouch as several others with large hammers hit it, forcing the air into another tube, that turned a windmill, which turned a crank, which started the gears that got the machine moving. Luckily there was a flap in the first tube to prevent the air form escaping there, and thus causing the woman's lungs to explode as they pounded on the bellows.

"Full speed!" Shampoo shouted as she heard the sounds from behind them getting closer.

The burly women with hammers, pounded on the sack as fast as the first could keep the pouch full, which was surprisingly fast, and they took off like a shot. Shampoo opened the rear flap, and they saw the huge hog demon having a difficult time keeping up with them. The proud warrior grinned as she saw the charging boar getting further away from their advanced technology. "Is too too fast, yes?"

Unfortunately, one of the hammering women's timing was off, and she conked the first woman's head. The one keeping the bag inflated groaned, and sat up. "Hey! Watch it!"

Not wanting to take the blame if they get killed, the large woman retorted, "Be more careful! It's yer fault if we git caught!" Not being able to reply, and still keep blowing up the bag, that was the end of that conversation. Within seconds they were back up to speed, but the boar was no longer behind them.

The small ninja, who was controlling the war machine, suddenly shouted from his position atop the thing. "What do we do? The demon is ahead of us!"

"Do Shampoo look scared? Ram it!" They heard the littlest ninja scream as they charged ahead! Looking out the back, Shampoo grabbed Kasumi, quickly kissed her lips. "No miss Shampoo too too much, okay?" With that, she pushed the taller woman out of the back of the moving vehicle, stunning her as she rolled to a stop.

Kasumi looked on in horror as the machine and demon collided, knocking the demon for a loop, and shrapnel scattered everywhere. She ran over, and dug Shampoo's body out of the wreckage, holding her to her breast. "Wake up! Wake up! Please, don't die on me!" Kasumi's tears began to flow, as she begged Shampoo to awaken.

"Aiyaaa! Shampoo hear, see how worried is? Admit love Shampoo!" She threw her arms around Kasumi and glomped her for all she was worth! "Shampoo knew whole time!" There was no resistance as she pulled Kasumi's arms around herself, so they were giving each other their first hug. "Was worth all trouble!"

Kasumi just stared in utter shock as the pig demon slowly recovered, and stomped toward them. "Shampoo almost forget pig!" As they got up, the others all joined them in a group, circling around the two to protect them.

Still somewhat dazed, even the porcine demon could sense the other set of stomping footsteps approaching. They all looked toward the sound, and saw a man, with long hair and a mustache, who charged in, and caught the boar by the tusks, before his head seemed to grow, becoming rather demonic, and scaring it away. He managed to duck just in time to avoid being kicked by a rather large foot, belonging to a tiny old man. "Almighty Pervert, why must you always compete with me?"

His gigantic foot returning itself to its relativity 'normal' size, he turned to face the much taller man. "We all followed the demon's aura, just like you. Though, it seems as if we found something much better! SWEEEEETO!" As the old man leaped toward the beautiful ladies, she was pounded by the three who were still holding the vary large hammers.

Ignoring the old man's antics, the first man turned to chase the demon, when a huge flying metal spike cut off his path. Everyone looked in the direction from which the spike seemed to originate, and they saw a chair being carried by a number of women, wearing white robes, and tossing flower petals wherever they walked. Sitting on the chair, was a rather sickly looking young man, also wearing white robes, and a matching headband, which held two candles. Kasumi was worried about the obvious problem with wax dripping into his hair.

"This pig demon is tough, even more so tonight, under the full moon. So, who, other than I, could possibly beat it? Besides, we have history, that demon and I."

"Look at the braggart! Konichiwa, Prince Important."

The old man looked up from where the hammer held him down. "Akane-chans! Yahoooo!"

"These are new, they do not remember you, old man!"

"Even better!" He pushed off the mallet and tried to make a beeline toward the identical young women.

Another hammer impacted with his skull before he got three steps. "That one dangerous!"

"They say your magic spikes are the best, I'll take you on!" The old man glared at the sickly lad, always looking for a challenge, especially if it will get him closer to those young ladies!

"I will allow you to be number one, it is lonesome at the top." He coughed a bit of blood into his handkerchief. "How could someone such as you understand?" He turned to the magical clones of his wife. "Keep it low-key, okay? ...stop throwing the petals."

"But you said to throw them!" He interrupted her with a loud cough. "What does that cough mean? What are you trying to say? Be clear, will you?" He just glared at the magical clone. "What? Are we throwing the petals or not?"

The sickly boy shook his finger at her. "No, not now!"

"Well, how about your bento, I made it myself!" The offered lunch box had its own aura, and it looked darker than the pig's. the fumes and waving tentacles worried the others.

"Wow, where did you pick these up? That smells worse than usual!"

They could barely hear as the prince mumbled under his breath. "...not every spell is perfect..."

"You know, I have always wanted to ask this, but being an immortal, shouldn't you be in better health?"

"Eating that stuff every day, I can't say I'm surprised."

"Is that why you can't walk on your own?"

"If I walked, then I would be the same as you, but I am not, I am Prince Important!"

"Shampoo think more like Prince Impotent! Better make babies then copies." The other hunters, and even the clones, all giggled.

"Wahoo! A girl after my own heart!" Another hammer clobbered the pervert before he could make a move toward their beloved leader.

"Listen, you cannot just make random accusations!" He held up a sign. "Can't you read this word?"

"Sorry, Shampoo no can read strange language."

"It says, 'impotent', no, I mean 'Important'! I am Prince Impotent, ...No, no, no! I am not Prince Important, I am impotent! You, I tell you, when I was a child I was impotent! No, wait, no... I have been very important since I was born! I am trying to say Impotent!"

"ENOUGH!" Everyone turned to look at Kasumi, who strolled forward, imploring them to listen to her. "You all have amazing fighting skills. Why not unite together, and fight the demon? If you let it go now, it will only get stronger under the full moon, and then many more will lose their lives! What good is fame or fortune, when people are dead? You do not deserve to be demon-hunters!"

"Who is this beggar woman?"

"I am no simple beggar, I am also a demon-hunter."

"Okay, I got it... Give this woman some food." One of the Akanes stepped forward holding out one of her homemade bentos.

"Obviously, we do not share the same beliefs, I must go." Saddened, Kasumi turned to go.

"Well said, Shampoo admire resolve too too much! Go with too."

"Leave me alone! You are blocking my way to enlightenment. Please, return my book!"

"What wrong? We do so well..."

"Give me back my Three Hundred Nursery Rhymes!"

"Three Hundred Nursery Rhymes?"

The head Akane started to sing the one she knew. "Are you sleeping, are you sleeping, Brother John, Brother John?"

Quietly, she whispered, pleading with Kasumi to not treat her this way, especially in front of these other people. "Let Shampoo save some face here!"

"You capture me, you get me beaten, you take my book, you trick me, and you try to ruin my ascent to Nirvana! Just give me back my book!"

"Fine! Want book, take book!" She pulled the book out from between her large breasts, holding it out in front of her. Before Kasumi could take it, she tore it into tiny pieces out of hurt and spite.

Kasumi looked on in horror as the confetti rained down upon her head. Her temper was frazzled, her patience was long gone, and she reared back to slap the women who had caused her so much torment.

Shampoo only braced herself, already feeling guilty, and willing to take her punishment, but her hand stopped, as the others jumped to her defense, if she attacked their leader. "Hey! What're ya doin'?"

Shampoo held her hand up to stop her people. "No. Go head! Shampoo deserve this! Hit, now!"

Kasumi realized what she had been about to do, and ran away in tears.

"You go, run! Take good look at self! Where be without Shampoo? Dead! that where! Demon-hunter? Shampoo foot!" She spit on the ground in frustration. Being the leader of her people, she was used to getting her way, no one had ever defied her will like this before.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

It had been an exhausting and treacherous journey, but Kasumi had finally arrived at the temple before the base of Five Finger's Mountain, and after making a small prayer, she search around, seeing no enormous statue as her master had instructed. It was the prefect end to a perfectly abysmal quest. She had failed in almost every possible way. She had not managed to save any demons and almost no humans, she had needed to be saved so many times, she even managed to lose her holy artifacts, and now she could not even find a statue that was supposed to be almost four kilometers high! Shampoo was correct, she would have been dead several times over, had it not been for her.

'You would have to be blind to miss something that obvious!'

"Yes master, I am blind, spiritually blind! Why can I not see what is right in front of me? What am I missing? Where is that 'something'? What is that 'something'? Please, Master, Buddha, tell me what I am doing incorrectly!"

She sat there, meditating, praying, thinking, and resting, yet no answer was forthcoming. She was not sure how much time had passed, but judging by her hunger, it could have been days. First thing was first though, and she walked over to the water basin to wash her face. After splashing around, she realized that inside the bowl, there were words, written upside down, and backwards, it read, 'Water Reflection Mirror'.

Sitting on the edge of the Temple, she faced the mountains and sat down to 'reflect' some more. She closed her eyes, and pictured the valley below, filling with water, and as she imagined this water rising, she pictured the reflection of the far mountains. When her imaginary water had reached a certain point, she could see the other half of the statue! It was the mountain itself! The statue had fallen over, and become the mountain, and it was currently lying on its side! In her mind, the 'statue' seemed to glow with holy light, and she was filled with a warmth she had almost forgotten.

Munching on a piece of bamboo she had in her new, much smaller, pack, she set off to climb a mountain!

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Reaching the top of the mountain, she saw water lilies and lotus flowers, it was stunningly beautiful, this small patch of green in a 'sea' of brown rock, except that there was no water, making the hole they were growing out of rather treacherous. It was obvious to her now, that this was where the water level must have been, five hundred years before, and she could see the great face of the Buddha.

She carefully made her way through the rocks and lilies, finding one that was growing out of a hole in a rock, unlike the others that were growing between them. Upon closer inspection, she found that it was not just a hole, it was an entire cavern! When she moved the flowers, a bright ray of light filled the chamber. Somehow, she managed to fit through the small hole, despite it looking to be about half her size, and she climbed down into the cavern.

No sooner had she made it into the room below, then the sole occupant of the cave ran out to greet her with a hug! It made her mildly uncomfortable, and yet, it felt familiar as well. She found it almost as strange as the gray little man himself, though she imagined that, if this was who she was searching for, then social skills might be a bit difficult to come by during five hundred years of isolation, not that it made it any easier for her to having him 'pawing' at her.

"Ooo oo oo, a guest! Please, sit, sit!" Jumping around, the energetic fellow pointed to one of the smaller flat rocks.

"Pardon my intrusion, I am the demon-hunter, Kasumi Tendo, and I am looking to find the Monkey King..."

The oddly hunched man pointed at himself while bouncing excitedly. "Me, me! I'm Sun Ran-ma, th' Handsome Monkey King!"

It did fit the situation, however, he was certainly not what she expected so her bow was a bit reluctant. "Sun-sama, I am honored to meet you."

The Monkey King sniffed and kissed Kasumi's arm and shoulder, she was not comfortable with this level of personal space sharing, especially not with someone she had just met!

"Oh my, Sun-sama, that is-."

"Sorry, I'm a bit overwhelmed, haven't had a visitor in so long! Please, sit, sit!" He excitedly waved at her from the other side of the rock that served as his table. "What a handsome woman you are?"

"You too, Sun-sama! Though I must say, you do seem a bit different from the legend."

"Well, here's the thing, centuries ago, I had this tiny disagreement with the gods, and the Buddha used the sutra to blast me down here! But I recognized that I was at fault, so I locked myself in th' tiny hole, an' never left once! I've just sat here studyin' th' sutras, and look at me, I've already dissolved th' demon spirit within me, an' expelled it from my body. I even lost my demonic look. So now, all that remains within me, is truth, goodness, an' beauty! Th' Buddha Sutra's good, it's great, Amaaaaazing!"

Kasumi thought he really needed some sunlight, for his completion, and then, with a full head of hair, perhaps he would be quite handsome. "Actually, Sun-sama, I have come here to discuss another important matter with you."

"Oh, please, go ahead, what can this humble one do fer ya?"

"Please Sun-sama, teach me a way to tame the Boar Demon."

"Pig? R. H. Hog?"

"Yes, that demon is evil, and killed so many people! No one has a clue what to do."

"Oh yes, there's a way..." He pointed to a piece of stone in the wall with a sutra carved into it. "Come..." He grabbed Kasumi by the wrist, and pulled her over to the stone. "This seal is th' Holy Fire Spell, I brought it down from th' heavens, it can destroy all demons and monsters!"

"I do not wish to kill it! I want to awaken the inner truth, the goodness and beauty within."

"Of course, didn't I just say that? That's its main function, to awaken truth, goodness, and beauty."

"No, such a thing is too precious, I could not take it from you."

"Oh not at all, it's only worth a few hundred yen!"

"But still, I could never..."

"Just take it, I insist, as a gift ta honor my first visitor in so long!"

Kasumi started to get the feeling that something was not right... "Sun-sama, could that, perhaps, be the seal that suppresses you?"

The Monkey King's lip started to tremble, and tears looked as if they could flow from his eyes. "By refusing my gift, ya offended me! Don't ya know who I am? I am Sun Ran-ma, the Handsome Monkey King, the Great Sage that is equal to heaven! When heaven lied ta me, an' treated my kindness badly, I was also offended then. Do ya know what I did then? I single-handedly defeated th' Jade Emperor's army of a hundred thousand celestial warriors, th' army a' heaven! All without blinking an eye!"

"Did your eyes not get dry ...after not blinking for so long?"

"Well, yeah, actually ...but that don't really matter! What's it gotta do with anything?"

"I was just curious, that is all."

"Do ya get my point? I was talking about beating heaven's army a' hundred thousand warriors, by myself!"

"I was just wondering, it sounded quite unpleasant, it must have been miserable for you."

"Who cares about if my eyes were dry er not?"

"Sun-sama, please calm yourself, I care, I care vary much. It sounds as if you have had a very rough time of it, and I am sorry."

"I tell ya I beat th' army of heaven, and all ya care about are my dry eyes?"

"Of course I care about your eyes, your sparkling blue eyes..." Kasumi shook her head to refocus her mind, trying not to get lost in those pools of blue again. "If I see pain, I want to ease it." She took his hand in hers, hugging it to her chest. "Please, Sun-sama, tell me all about your story..."

Kasumi listened as he spoke of terrible wrongs, both done to him and his people, and done by him, either due to his ignorance and inexperience or to avenge his hurt pride. Before she realized it, he was sobbing into her bosom, unable to believe how good it felt to get it all off his chest, all of the wrongs he had been made to suffer, all of the pain of losing his friends and subjects so many years ago...

"Oh my, that truly is terrible. I am so sorry Sun-sama."

"If ya think that's bad, watch this!" He stepped back, and took a mighty leap toward the opening only to be caught by the roots of the lilies growing out of the walls, which shocked him with electricity as they threw him to the ground, and continued to whip him for several moments. "Just let me out! It's been five hundred years! How much longer I gotta be trapped here? I've changed, done th' enlightenment thing! Why won't ya believe me?"

"You ask the Buddha why you are not believed, but do you believe in the Buddha?" Kasumi knelt down next to him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "If you had fully experienced enlightenment, the Buddha would surly know. There is no way that the Buddha would give up on you."

"Yer saying I ain't enlightened?"

"That is not the point, let it go. If you only do good, with all of your heart, then you will reap the rewards." She watched as he looked around, clearly confused. "Please Sun-sama, help me to tame this demon, and show that you are willingly doing good. This is your chance to fight evil, and give back to society!"

"You want my help? After all of my suffering? Do you know how hard it has been?"

"Yes, I do understand that is has been very hard on you, that is why I want to help you."

"I have not even had a single bite of my favorite bananas, or seen the sun in all this time!"

She held out one of the bananas she actually still had amongst her ever dwindling supplies, and drew him back into her lap. "Help me, to help you."

Taking the banana, he stared at it for a moment, hardly believing his eyes, before turning his face up to look into Kasumi's eyes. "Ya wanna get th' Pig, ya gotta lure it here. Though hurt by a lover, Ryoga still loves that woman, who th' guy loved ta watch dancin' in th' moonlight... Even wrote a song about it, as a symbol of their love. If a beautiful woman danced in th' moonlight ta that song, I'm sure ya could lure that pig with it. Couldn't get any easier..." Peeling the banana, he curled up in her lap, and started to eat. "Then, ya can just leave th' rest ta me!"

"Oh my, but where would we ever find a 'pretty' girl?"

"I agree, don't see how we could find anyone prettier than you."

"Oh stop, you can't mean that! Besides, I could never do anything like that!"

"Shampoo do! If Kasumi too too shy, Shampoo be by side!" With that, she leapt into the cave with a grace Kasumi felt she could never hope to match. "This what like? No is human, but IS handsome, in own way... Is okay, Shampoo agree, we take this one, make many babies for us. We be one big happy family!" Shampoo looked him up and down, trying to size up his fighting potential. "You is strong, yes? This one need much protection!"

"Shampoo! Wait, I am sorry about before, you were correct, but ...WHAT?"

"You worry, need man, make babies. Shampoo know, mens what follow Shampoo no is manly, so we find other. Seem to like this one, so if that what take, Shampoo agree. Get tan, maybe wig, make do ...but first get bath!"

"Hey, now just ya wait a minute here! I'll have ya know, I am the HANDSOME Monkey King!"

"Have seen reflection?"

"Well, no, there hasn't been water in here in a few hundred years... Is it THAT bad?"

"No is win beauty pageant, Buddy."

He turned to look up at Kasumi again. "Hey, ya said I was still handsome!"

"And you are ...in a way" His mood got noticeably worse... "...but, Shampoo, what are you doing here?"

"Shampoo worry, so follow, have trouble when cross river, thought taking bath... But look like Shampoo get here at right time! Was outside when say need Shampoo help."

"I do not think I said..."

"You say need pretty girl, if Kasumi no can do, Shampoo here!"

With a low sigh, Kasumi relented. "So, what were those steps, Sun-sama?"

"Both a' ya 're very pretty, I'll teach ya both!"

Walking over, she batted her eyes at him. "Aiyaaa! Shampoo is like this one more and more, have good eye! Know what say to pretty girl! Mother teach well..."

"Never knew my parents, don't know that I had any, but I've always been like that, just say what I think, wear my heart on my sleeve as it were."

"Make Shampoo blush!"

"Ya look even cuter that way. Here, watch me, an' follow along, just like a kata."

Shampoo copied his movements, while an embarrassed Kasumi tried to follow along, stepping on her own toes. Some of the steps seemed somewhat improvised, and ...overly sensual, but on the other hand, it was a private dance between lovers, so she supposed it did make some sense... Unfortunately, that was the biggest problem for her, she felt as if she could die of embarrassment at any moment, and she wasn't even doing half of the steps! She was suddenly very happy that Shampoo had come along when she did, even with the trouble she always brought with her.

"Miss, yer really quite a dancer, I'll bet ya fight pretty well too?"

"Oh no, Shampoo no is as good as ...what say name was?"

He bowed with a flourish. "Th' pleasure's all mine, Sun Ran-ma, The Handsome ...er, the Monkey King, and th' Great Sage that is Equal ta Heaven! Ya said yer name was 'Shampoo'? That ain't local, where ya from?"

"Aiyaaaaa! Shampoo from small village, far to south east."

There was something about their interactions that made Kasumi feel weird, and she was unsure as to why... She was happy after all, the two of them getting together was what she wanted, was it not? Wait, why would she want that? Oh well, if meant that the girl would not be ruining her own attempts at enlightenment, then things could not be better, and yet, there was a small voice inside of her, that seemed to be saying that her reasoning was faulty. Kasumi continued to ponder while they practiced, unable to come to any conclusions.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Shampoo climbed atop the highest of the smaller peaks in front of the opening to the cave. Kasumi watched as she stripped down to an almost transparent gown, and let her hair down. She could do little more than stare at the younger girl in the moonlight, as she was lost in thought. That was until Shampoo's cute cough reminded her of what they were doing. As she began to play her little music gourd and sing, Shampoo started to dance.

"My love is gone, never to return... I silently mourn my lost love... Though flowers wither, but again they will bloom... My long-lost love beyond the clouds... Unrequited love fills my heart with sorrow... In our lives, we can't change our destiny... Once we part, we can love no more... Could this be the fate the heavens planned for me?"

There was something about the words that touched a nerve in Kasumi as she continued to stare, unblinking, at the dancing Shampoo, but she was unable to put her finger on it, a little 'something' that kept eluding her... For some reason, that also struck a chord, but before anything came into focus, a crashing was heard as the sound of thunder grew louder!

The boar came up from behind them, and charged! Shampoo saw where it was heading, and jumped in, grabbed Kasumi, and leaped away just as it landed where Kasumi had been standing. Turning to snort in their direction, a voice distracted it.

"Bacon-breath!" The demon turned its head, looking toward the small hole. "Yeah, down here! Long time, no see..."

Somehow, the demon was able to stick his whole head into the hole no bigger than its snout, trying to see who was calling its name. Suddenly, it was sucked inside the cavern, unable to resist the pull of the entrapment spell.

"We go!" With that, the two followed it into the hole. By the time they got there, the Monkey King was already holding, and petting, a small black piglet, grinning like mad.

"Thank you so very much, Sun-sama! You have done a great service to the people!"

"Not at all, it's a king's duty ta protect th' weak, after all!" He set the piglet down as Shampoo pulled out her containment sack, and captured the porker.

Opening the metal ball, she removed a small, stuffed, black piglet, handing it, along with the duck, to Kasumi. "Here, is P-Chan. After forty-nine day, demon reduce to ash. Shampoo give, let Kasumi belief decide what do."

Shampoo closed her eyes and leaned forward as Kasumi nodded. "Thank you for all of your help. Are you tired? You should go home and get some rest."

"Do Shampoo no tell you, when girl close eye, mean want kiss!"

Strutting over, Ranma made eyes at the pair. "Shampoo-chan, I think I can help ya out!"

"Mens must wait turns, womens go first! Is only here for make babies!"

"Oi, well, I guess I can live with that too... I'll just sit back an' watch the show in th' meantime then."

"Is good man what know place." She smiled and waved him away, and once he was on the other side of the room, she turned back to Kasumi. "Shampoo know, treat Kasumi badly, is too too sorry. Shampoo heart hurt, and take out on Kasumi! Even if is to blame, Shampoo do bad thing. Is no excuse. Shampoo turn over new leaf, promise, be gentle, faithful wife and mother! We even find man to share, will take Shampoo now, yes?" She took off her bracelet, shrunk it to the size of a ring, and placed it on Kasumi's finger.

"What are you doing?" Kasumi tried in vain to remove the 'ring', growing more upset as she failed.

"Shampoo marry, is to show Shampoo love! Infinite Flying Ring grow root, never come off!"

Kasumi quickly looked around the cave, until she found a large rock, and picked it up, preparing to smash her left hand with it.

Horrified, Shampoo grabbed the rock before she completed her arc. "What is doing?"

"I am looking for the Greater Love, I am unconcerned with any form of Lesser Love. If I cannot remove the ring, I will remove my finger."

Shampoo reached down and quickly removed the ring, completely heartbroken. "Shampoo get, no bother more..." She turned to go, but first reached into her dress, and pulled a small book, covered in tape, from her cleavage. "Here, spend three day put back together, no can read language, but do best could, sorry make mess."

"I no longer want it."

Slowly, she made her way out of the cave, tucking the book back into her dress, and hoping someone would stop her. ...No one did.

"Too bad, that one's gone. Shampoo-chan had such a great body!"

"How do you know?"

"I saw it with my own dry eyes, a' course!"

"Really? Why did I not see it?"

"You'd have ta be bind ta miss that body!"

Kasumi sighed, not sure what to make of it all. "Sun-sama, thank you again for helping me."

"Oi, no need to rush off! Why leave so soon? Ya barely just got here."

"No, no, that is okay."

"Are ya sure yer all right, I mean that was pretty harsh."

"What was? I am fine, fine."

As Kasumi climbed from the hole, she stared at the moon, almost expecting a smiling Shampoo to be waiting for her. Kasumi sighed again, wondering why the empty night sky filled her with sadness, and not joy. Letting her pack drop, she fell back, sitting on the rock, pondering what she should do next, when she heard the voice of the Monkey King once again. "Miko-san, is the moon full tonight?"

"Yes, very full."

"That's great... The cave's opening it blocked by that lotus, so I never get ta see it anymore. I remember, I used to sit in th' trees, starin' up at th' moon all night, it so relaxin' an' peaceful."

Kasumi glanced at the flowers and decided that it was the least she could do, and ripped out the obstructing flowers, apologizing to them as she did. She was shocked by the fact that the flower suddenly caught fire in her hand, and suddenly realized that she might have made yet another in a long list of mistakes. Not wanting to get burned, she quickly dropped it, and the wind carried it into the rest of the foliage, setting the whole field aflame! Kasumi was starting to panic, not seeing a way to get through the flames, with her trapped in the center.

"Ha, ha, ha, finally tricked you!" The Monkey King rocketed out of his former prison like a ball of fire, flying almost a kilometer into the air, before crashing down right in front of a stunned Kasumi. His rags were replaced by shining, golden armor, his gray skin turned a beautiful golden brown, and his long, flowing hair was fully restored! He looked and felt like a teenager again! "Wahahahaha! I am free at last, free at last, thank th' Buddha, I am free at last!"

Taking Kasumi into his arms, he made a mighty leap, taking them from the top of the mountain, to the valley below in scant seconds. "So, how about we blow this place, where would ya like ta go?" Sensing people approaching, he gently tossed Kasumi aside. "Sorry, hold that thought fer a moment, I got somethin' I gotta take care a'..."

Despite the reassurances of being on solid ground again, her sense of loss intensified as he put her down. She felt cold and alone, even more so when she looked up and saw the three demon-hunters from before. The middle-aged man's eyes met her own, and she got the strangest feeling from the man.

"I'm first!" He ran in, strangely ignoring the Monkey King, and heading straight for Kasumi! "What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be home, cooking and cleaning for your family?"

"What? I have no family, I am just a failure of a demon-hunter."

"Of course you have a family, everyone has a family, you ran away from yours, and we miss you, and want you to come home!"

"But, I ...I don't understand!"

The Monkey King landed in front of her, completely blocking her view, and getting in the face of her father ...or rather the demon-hunter. "Ya don't care about Kasumi-san! Ya only want a free, live-in maid! If ya really cared, ya would a' helped around th' house, an made th' rest a' ya help too! No eleven year-old should have to give up their life ta take care a' their family full time, giving up friends, fun, school, a job, or getting married, all because their father is too lazy ta even help and too much a' a wimp ta instill any discipline their children!"

"Who are you to talk? You're just a freeloader!"

"Like that's MY choice? Ya an' pops set that up, besides, I'll have ya know I have helped more around that house in the last few months, than ya ever have!"

"Hrumph! Well I never..."

"We know!"

"Who's going to do the dishes, the laundry, and all of the other work about the house? We can't expect Akane-chan to do it!"

"No, of course not, not precious Akane, who never does nuthin' wrong, no, not that, an' ain't no way yer gonna do nuthin' other than play around with my old man! Kasumi-san is yer 'daughter', not yer 'mother'!"

"But Kasumi-chan has been paying for everything!"

"Then ya really ought ta be ashamed an' say 'Thank Ya', huh?" The Monkey King could listen to no more, and with a powerful flip-kick, he sent the demon-hunter flying, they watched until only a small glimmer could be seen.

"Guess that means it's MY turn!" The Ancient Pervert charged, and like the other, proceeded to completely ignore the Monkey King and ran straight for Kasumi's somewhat prone form.

"What do ya think yer doin'? Yer fightin' me!"

"Who cares about you, Monkey Boy? Not where there is such a beauty over there!" The dwarf skipped along, easily dodging the simple attacks. His last great leap toward the vulnerable woman also left himself wide open, and the Monkey King was able to grab him by the back of his collar.

"Oh, is that all ya care about?" The Monkey King turned the old man around to face him, or HER rather, as he had used one of his seventy-two transformations to change into a buxom read-head!

"SWEEEEEEET-O!" The old man leaped for the over-ripe fruit before his eyes, however something prevented his forward momentum.

"Ha-DO-Ken!" The shrunken old man pulled himself from the hole his body had formed in the side of the mountain, and growled.

"So, that's the way ya wanna play it, eh? Fine, I'm not down by a long shot!"

"Good, it wouldn't be fun otherwise!" The Monkey King cracked his knuckles, first on his hands, then his feet.

Happosai summoned his perverted ki, and used it to make his body reflect the size of his perverted spirit! He towered over even the mountains themselves, and looked down at the insects below him! "Now you will see why they call me the 'Almighty' Pervert!"

Before he could even take one step forward, he was interrupted, by the small girl, standing on a nimbus cloud near his eye level! "Hahaha! Ya think groin' big'll matter? That's rich!"

Kasumi could only see the light show from her position at ground level, but she could tell it was a monstrous battle! The lightning and explosions stopped, and she could see the old man talking to his fist! "That'll show ya, a puny thing like you can't hope to stand up to me!"

An explosion of force caused the ancient hamfist to open, revealing the Monkey King, back in his 'normal' form, glowing brightly. "Size isn't everything, but if that's all ya understand, then I'll match ya!" the glow got bigger, and it looked to Kasumi as if he were falling toward her, only to realize a moment later that he was also growing to enormous proportions! The giant purple ape roared, making the old man's gi wave in the wind, and covered his face in spittle, just for the annoyance factor.

"Oh my, it's a gorill-ill-ill-ill-la!"

Several of the mountains got rearranged as the battle raged on, the two titanic colossi duking it out, on an epic scale! The Monkey King paused long enough to shake his backside at his former prison as it was smashed to bits, before resuming the conflict. Exploding ki panty verses ki balls, pipe versus tail, hand versus foot. It sounded worse than any thunderstorm she had ever witnessed, she almost expected a tornado at any moment!

What she actually sensed was close however, when the Great Ape pulled out a large golden coin yelling, "Monkey King Fifty Yen Satsu!" The Ancient Pervert's aura started to shrink, until there was almost nothing left, returning him to his normal Dwarven size. Also Shrinking back to his normal size, the Monkey King tossed the perverted master into the air, pulled his staff out of his ear as it grew, and swung it like a baseball bat, knocking him into next week. "That's what ya get, tryin' ta hurt Kasumi-san!"

He jumped off of his nimbus cloud, and landed between Kasumi and the Prince. "It's just us now, if ya wanna start runnin', I won't stop ya..."

Opening his small wooden case, he flicked one of the miniature spikes at the Monkey King. "That is not exactly accurate, on several levels."

The nail grew as it flew toward him, while the Monkey King grinned, and casually knocked the dart out of the air. "Look, I don't like ta bully th' weak, so why don't ya give up before I gotta get rough?"

"As I said, you are incorrect in many ways. Akane, Army of One Attack, charge!" The sickly man coughed into his handkerchief as a thousand magical copies of the young woman came charging out, hammer in hand. "Even you cannot stop them all! Not and still defend against my nails." To emphasize his point, the sword he tossed out, circled around and came back for another try."

Jumping over the spike, he pulled out a handful of hair, and tossed it into the wind. Each of the several dozen hairs became an exact replica of himself, each one smiling, and rushing in to take on his own share of the incoming army! They did not seem too powerful on their own, so he figured that was plenty. A few of his copies has succumbed to the numbers, but over all they were doing as well as he had expected, and he refocused on the Prince. "Yer not th' only one that can do that trick!"

"Well then, try this Monkey King, I will take you down, or my name isn't Hikaru Important!" He sent the rest of his miniature weapons after his opponent.

"Are you sure? Wasn't it, 'Impotent'? I'm pretty sure that's what I heard. It was all anyone in heaven used to talk about..." The Monkey King swung his staff in circles, deflecting all of the swords, an casually waiting for them to come back, occasionally getting one stuck in the stone.

"We have already done that joke!" The sudden excitement causing another coughing fit.

The Monkey Clones were making short work of the Army of Akanes, barely over half of them were left, several of the oversized nails had been broken, and the Monkey King's already high confidence shot up even higher as she taunted the gaunt lad. "It takes more than numbers ta win a battle, as a Prince, ya should know this, but then, I guess that's why they call ya 'impotent'... Can't get a real girl, gotta make 'em yerself!"

Hikaru shrugged before spinning his finger in the air in a spiral. "What can one do? The wife insists to come along, so this is how we compromise."

The remaining barbs reoriented themselves on their target, and started making their passes much more quickly. The Monkey King's defenses were incredible, however one of them managed to make it passed his guard, and he dodged it out of instinct.

Kasumi could only stare at the blade that had somehow stopped, mere centimeters from her face. the blood dripping from the end of it terrified her, which only got worse as she followed the metal with her eyes to see Shampoo's back as she stood there, pierced by huge thing. "SHAMPOO!"

"NOOOOO! I was just startin' ta make new friends!" Memories of his lost friends, from his fellow monkeys, to the nice wolf-girl who had come to him as a child, all of their corpses flashed through his mind, filling the fallen king with renewed despair. He, and all of his copies let out a mighty roar, sending shock-waves out in all directions, serving to knock over most of the Akanes and the Prince's throne as well.

Seeing his army shrinking with newfound vigor, Hikaru decided to go for broke. "Damn it! Okay Honey, bring out the special attack!" Seeing his Army drop their hammers and bring out the most horrifying thing known to man ...her home-cooking, he refocused on the main problem, and clapped his hands together. All of his nails vanished, including the broken ones and the one inside of Shampoo's stomach, and reformed into one very large sword.

Kasumi managed to catch her fallen savior before she hit the ground, and held her tightly in her lap. "No! Shampoo, Why did you do that?"

"Stupid! Shampoo always protect one what love!" She coughed up blood with the excited statement. "Aiyaa, but no think be there next time, Kasumi need be more careful, now on!"

"But, how can you keep your word if you die?"

A weak smile crept across her pale face. "Look like catch Kasumi attention again... and still no admit love Shampoo?"

Kasumi's tears would not stop, and she felt like her father, the human sprinkler! Her voice was weak, but she held the other girl as close as she could. "I do, I do love you! I have loved you from the moment we met. I just did not understand! I am SO sorry, for all the pain I caused you!"

"How much love Shampoo?"

"Very much! There has never been a day since we met, that I did not think of you."

"How long love Shampoo?"

"For a thousand years, ten thousand, a million, until the stars turn to dust!"

"That too too long, find other what love, just love Shampoo for now." Kasumi held her tightly, until her eyes closed and her breathing stopped, but her tears would not. Looking down at the beautiful and content face, the girl's voice echoed in her mind. 'Do Shampoo no tell, when girl close eye, mean want kiss!' Kasumi kissed her as she lost her last grip on life, and held the embrace for longer than she knew.

The clone war was still raging strong, as the remaining monkeys tried to defend against the toxic waste. They battled valiantly, taking out many of their foes before succumbing to the noxious poisons.

"Don't eat it!" "No kidding!" "Eeeewww! Don't smell it either!" "I'm done for, go on without me!" "Oh, it's just too much!" "My eyes!" "Look -it all the pretty colors!" "Why are glowing green boils forming, this isn't 'handsome' at all!" "I'm melllllllllllting, AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Few from either side remained, as the last of the Akanes charged in toward the original Monkey King. He had little trouble defending against the hammers, though being around the malignant 'food', was even wearing on his immortal body, and he was feeling light-headed. The over-sized sword's aim was true as it flew straight for the Monkey King's heart. He was unable to block with his half-melted staff, but puffed up his chest, the best he could in his weakened state, just as it struck ...and shattered, sending pieces of shrapnel in all directions, except directly behind him, making sure that Shampoo and Kasumi were not bothered! Soon after, he was overpowered by the toxic stew.

Laying the corpse of her friend on the ground, she removed her bracelet, and it shrunk to fit her finger once again. A devastated, Kasumi felt the ring on her finger, and sat in meditation, praying over the book that Shampoo had done her best to restore for her. Unbeknownst to her, but obvious to the remaining Akanes and to the Prince, as her chanting grew stronger, Kasumi began to glow, and then hover about a meter in the air.

Seeing this, the remaining Akanes charged, hoping to take out their last foe! Before they could get close enough to even use their Dirty Dishes attack, the golden light rapidly expanded from around her, disintegrating any of the magical constructs that remained. From out of her back, rose a beautiful glowing woman, about twice the size of a normal human, wearing elegant white robes with blue and gold trim, with long flowing, light-brown hair.

The prince cowered before the literal goddess taken form, who somehow looked and sounded much like the strange miko who had been gallivanting with several demons! This strange new woman's power humbled the man, and he felt as though he were a child being scolded by his mother.

She looked around sadly at the destruction that had been wrought across the once beautiful valley, and began to sing. A third woman rose from her back, much like she did from the first, and joined them both in song. The perfect song filled area, and with it, a restoring magic, to help heal the land. Once her song was complete, she turned to focus her attention to the cowering prince.

"What are you going to do, kill me?"

"Oh my, no. How would you learn anything that way? I have a much more fitting punishment in mind."

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Suddenly the man found himself at home, in the dining room, with his wife looking over him with a large pot and ladle in hand...

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Kasumi found herself, under a tree, in a beautiful field, surround by the goddess, the recovered Monkey King, and Shampoo's body. Looking to the goddess, Kasumi pleaded, offering anything she had and more, including her own life, to restore her friend. "I am sorry my dear, that is more than Yggdrasil will allow me to do on my own, however, I could normally not have restored the entire valley either, so perhaps if you both sing with us, and lend me your power... However, first I must ask you an important question. Now, how do you feel about Greater and Lesser Love, the love between people?"

"There is no Greater Love, nor Lesser Love, there is only Love! Having experienced pain, I can truly understand life's suffering. Knowing stubbornness, one can let it go, knowing what one wants, one can release it."

"Very good, you have learned a little 'something', I am glad to hear it. Now, come, let us sing."

Kasumi gave her a curious look, wondering why she used that choice of words...

Gathering around her, the three began to pray and sing together, harmonizing elegantly as their love and power filed the area and flowed into the lifeless warrior.

Even Belldandy was unsure of how much time had passed as they sang in the ever-brightening field, but eventually, the young demon-hunter's eye fluttered open... "Aiyaaaa... What happen? Kasumi no died too? Please say 'no'!"

"Oh my, Goddess, thank you so much for bringing back my Shampoo!"

"Aiyaaaa! We is alive?" She tried to jump up and hug them, but her head regretted that choice.

"You are welcome, though you ought to take it easy, few people ever come back from being dead for that long. Now, there is one last thing, for which we need a resolution, what to do about this one..."

Shampoo whispered into Kasumi's ear, causing her to blush profusely.

Not needing to be told, Belldandy looked at the two young women, and smiled. "Well, that is one option, very well, we will leave it in your hands, for now."

Kasumi and Shampoo turned to face the Monkey King, as they held hands they each used their fee hand to take the ring off of Kasumi's finger, and made it grow. "For saving us, we have a gift for you as well, a crown, for the Handsome Monkey King!" It grew to fit his head perfectly.

"Haha! A perfect crown, for the Handsome Monkey King!" He danced around, happier than he had been in centuries.

"Haha, yourself!"

"Is too too good."

"Actually, that was a wedding ring, so now is our husband, to watch over..."

"And keep in line." A sly grin slowly formed on Kasumi's lips as she looked as the 'Handsome Monkey King', as twinkles sparkled in her eyes. "Forever, and ever. We tricked you, we tricked you!"

"Now that you have that matter well in hand, as my sister would say, I have a special favor to ask of you and your friends here, I would like for you to embark on a journey ...to the west."

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NOTES

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Notes on the Peeping section, I have no idea if any of that is true or not, if it makes sense or not, or whatever. The views expressed are those of Nodoka, and no one else ...that I know, I mean statistically speaking, there has to be SOMEONE. XD I know normally I do research, and try to make sure if I am speaking about something real, that is at least mostly factual, but I claim no expertise in this area.

Also, my apologies for anyone who was put off by the dream sequences, I had recently watched several movies about the Monkey King at that point, and so when I was asking for ideas for a novel to give Ranma, and my editor suggested The Journey to the West, my mind started to connect the cast of Ranma to the Cast of those stories, thus the idea was formed. Rather than trying to write a whole story around it, I just did this excerpt. As fun as it was for me to explore the idea, I know as a reader it would have probably annoyed me, and I might have even skipped it, but I just could not resist, and I did try to use them for subconscious ways to help influence their character growth. Ranma's dream was based on the movie, 'The Monkey King' [2014], and Kasumi's this time, was based on 'Journey To The West - Conquering The Demons' [2013], which was more of a comedy.

Next time, we return with our regularly scheduled fanfiction with, 'Mr. Peepers', or 'Good Morning, Sunshine'.

...I know those are not very good, but I am tired, it was a long chapter... lol. They can't all be winners! XD


	19. Chapter 19

Thank you to everyone who is following, or has favorited this so far (or will in the future), I would thank you all personally, but I am sure that would annoy people, even replying to most reviews might get on some people's nerves. I have been trying to resist on the shorter ones, but it's compulsive for me, so I hope it doesn't bother anyone too much. If there is anything else you hate or love, please let me know, this is a learning experience for me, and I am trying to improve, so any tips, good, bad, public, or private are welcome. Thank you all again, it means a lot to me that you are enjoying it so far.

Disclaimer: This story is not intended for people without a sense of humor, like to sue, or anyone with irrational religious beliefs. If you are one of these people, you should leave now, you have far more important things to be doing, like finding a sense of humor, or a bit of self-reflection.

For everyone else, welcome to...

Chapter 19 - Bedside Manners

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Kasumi awoke in a cold sweat, the dream fleeing from her mind as quickly as the moonlight replaced it, but there was one thing of which she knew she had to do. The sun was not yet up, so as quietly as she could, she hurried down the hall and threw open the door, only to find a room with no one inside! She was not exactly sure why, but the nagging feeling remained, and she began to panic, running from room to room, desperately trying to find what she sought!

Finally she opened the door to Ranma's room, and peered inside. What she saw both surprised her, and filled her with an overwhelming sense of relief. There was Ranma, sleeping in his bed, with Ukyo and Shampoo on either side of him, all looking quite adorable in their slumber. Now normally, Kasumi might have found such a scene to be rather 'inappropriate', to say the least, but she had been loosening up lately, she trusted Ranma to have done little more than sleep, in fact they likely snuck in after he had fallen asleep, and she was not certain as to why, but there was little room in her head that morning for any thoughts other than, 'They are safe!'

She was not exactly sure why that was such a concern for her, but it had been nagging her from the moment she had awoken. She felt the need to look a bit more closely, and once she had found that nothing was wrong with them, her waking up too soon caught up with her, and she curled up in the open space next to Shampoo, as the two of them lay there, both holding onto Ranma's right arm.

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Shampoo had tried to roll closer to Ranma, and snuggle in more tightly to her love when she met a bit of resistance. It was no trouble for her to put in a bit more effort and manage to swing her arm around... She thought it would be Ranma, but it seemed softer, and higher, than she remembered. Cracking one eye open, expecting to see either Ranma's girl form, or Ukyo trying to make a move, she almost jumped back when she saw Kasumi there, wrapped around her arm, and now lying on top of Ranma, looking rather content as she rubbed her face against Ranma's chest.

Quickly realizing what she had done, though still in the dark as to why she had been there in the first place, she decided not to 'sweat the small stuff', and proceeded to scooch closer, cuddling up to the both of them. She was thrilled when she felt a hand brushing against her breast, and was only slightly disappointed that it was Kasumi's hand, and not Ranma's...

If she had seen Ukyo with Kasumi's hair in her face, she would have probably laughed, but she did not care enough to bother looking, she was already enjoying herself far too much. Akane might have her gratitude for the Mousse thing, and her Grandmother had her respect, but these were her two favorite people in the world, and she could not imagine a place where she could be more happy. Refusing to let herself go back to sleep, Shampoo enjoyed the rest of the early morning snuggling. Being able to stare at Ranma's handsome face without having to see her rival just made it all the better!

Shampoo was not sure how much time had passed, but she could see the sky beginning to lighten when she heard Ukyo sneeze. "Who? What? Shampoo? What 'er ya doin' up there? Wait, that ain't ya, that's... AHHH!"

"What want there?"

"Ah gotta be dreamin'!"

"Shampoo no want pinch now, is too too busy."

"Hey, whatcha doin' o'er there?"

"Same as Flat-one."

"Breathin' hair? Seein' mah worst nightmare? What?"

"Is cuddle Ranma! Who want more?"

"Not being woke up by bickerin'd be nice..." Ranma opened his eyes, and saw there was one more person than he had expected. He had been slowly getting used to not waking up alone, though typically one of them stayed on each side, and Kasumi was NOT one of them! "Kasumi-san? What 're ya doin' here too?"

Kasumi stretched, enjoying the feeling of being curled up on Ranma's chest, and listening to the rhythm of his heartbeat. "Oh my... I am sorry Ranma-kun, I do not know how I got up here."

"Yeah ...right. Ain't nobody stopin' ya from gittin' down, ya know..."

"I know, but It's just sooo comfortable..."

"What? Pancake-Girl is jealous? Is too too ugly side to show early morning."

Ukyo was too groggy to cover up her true feelings, so, much like Ranma, blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "Yeah, why can't Ah be on top?" They thought they heard a squeal from somewhere, but it did not sound pained, so ignored it.

Shampoo thought about that, and got an idea. "Can make that deal, but is Pancake-girl idea, so Shampoo go next!"

"No fair! Why can't Ah go next?"

"Say already, was no Shampoo idea, so go first. If was Shampoo idea, then let go first!"

Ukyo thought about that for a moment, and came to a rather obvious conclusion. "No ya wouldn't!"

"That insult Shampoo honor!"

Ukyo did her best impression of her rival's speech pattern, trying to insult more than her honor. "Shampoo have no honor! Always use dirty trick!"

"No Shampoo fault gods make too too sexy! Each use what got!"

"Why Ah oughta... That ain't what Ah meant, an' ya know it!"

"Flat one know rule, want fight, go outside. ...Shampoo meet when ready." Shampoo snuggled in closer, resting her head on Ranma's shoulder.

"Ya'll go first then..."

"Perhaps the both of you could go prepare the new 'dojo' for our morning workout..." Shampoo was much more upbeat about it, not wanting to disappoint her 'big sister', but neither of them could refuse the polite request. "Then I will start breakfast."

"Shampoo go!" Jumping up, she grabbed her nightie and dawning it as she waited for Ukyo before leaving.

"Ranma-kun, I would like to thank you again, for saving me yesterday." She could feel his skin warm as he blushed.

"Ah, well, it was nuthin', told ya I'd always be there if ya needed me."

"Well, it meant a lot to me. I do not remember an awful lot about how it ended, however the last thing I do recall is the relief I felt when I saw you open the door. Which is why I feel bad to make this rather selfish request of you, but would you mind terribly if I ...joined you for more of your training sessions? I do not wish to feel that helpless again."

"Well, all things considered, th' best thing fer ya ta do, is escape, th' best defense, is ta not be there when th' attack comes, but, a' course, yer always welcome ta join us."

"Thank you, Ranma-kun, I feel better already!"

"Well, just remember, yer a beginner, and most of the people around here been practicing their whole life, so don't take no risks ...that's my job! Now I got a selfish one fer ya too."

"Oh? What ever could that be, Ranma-kun?"

"Would it be okay if we got up now," Ranma's voice dropped to a whisper. "I gotta use th' can."

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Nodoka had been on her way to the kitchen to start their breakfast, when she had heard voices coming from her son's room and could not help but eavesdrop, as only someone desperate for information could do. From somewhere, she pulled a glass, and put it up to the wall, trying to hear more clearly. Hearing the young women fighting over Ranma perked her right up, and put her in one of her best moods in recent memory.

When She saw Ranma leaving his room after the three women who all appeared clearly disheveled, it sent her into orbit. "Oh my son is SO manly!" She continued to look on the bright side, and not focus on the fact that someone was missing...

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"No can catch Shampoo." Flipping around the gym, she dodged throwing kote as they became embedded in the wall behind her, and giggled. She ducked behind the weight machine before turning back to return fire off her own ranged attacks.

"Jus' stand there an' let meh hit ya!"

"Who do that? Want hit Shampoo, must earn! Come get!"

Ukyo growled, and leaped closer, blocking the projectiles with her baker's peel, and getting in near her opponent, just as Ranma entered the room. They both stopped and turned to Ranma at the same time to greet him, though Ukyo had the unfortunate luck to not block the last soup spoon Shampoo had thrown, and got hit in the side of the head, knocking her over. "Ucchan! Are ya okay?"

Slowly getting to her feet, she chided herself for her inattentiveness. "Yeah, shouldn't a' let mahself get distracted." Just happy that he was alone, and that at least she only had to worry about Shampoo, for a little while anyway. She was hoping to be able to spar with Ranma again that day.

"Yeah, it's never a good idea." Ranma gave his friend a warm smile as he helped her to her feet. "I see ya got the targets all set up, so before we start, let me see ya do yer thing. Shampoo, why don't ya go first, an' give Ucchan a moment ta recover."

Happy to get to show off in front of her airen while her rival looked bad, Shampoo got too her feet. "HAI!" She hopped over, a ways from the targets, and her aura flared to life as she concentrated. A small glowing ball formed in her hands, and soon rocketed toward the target with a shout of, "Kikouken!", blowing it to pieces. Shampoo stood there, smiling proudly at them both.

"Nice one! How bout it Ucchan, ya feel ready ta give it a shot?"

Rubbing her sore spot, she got up and steadied herself. "Right! Let's do this!" She stood next to Shampoo as her own light-blue aura flickered around her. A small, thin 'disk', matching her aura, formed between her hands until she 'served' it to her target, slicing it in half, as well as leaving a small hole in the wall behind it, as she yelled, "Okonomiyaki Mori!"

"Aiyaaaa, Pancake-Girl make pancake qi blast!"

"Well done! ...Though might wanna work on not lettin' it get out a' hand like that."

Ukyo blushed, looking sheepish. "Ooops, sorry, Ranchan!"

"It's all right, we got boards ta replace 'em with later." Ranma smiled at his friend. "But well done, both a' ya almost got that as quick as me!"

Thrilled by the praise, Shampoo leaned in closely and rubbed her face on his shoulder. "Has good teacher!"

"Oh my, that WAS rather impressive! You two are just amazing!" Kasumi entered the room, dressed in her pastel blue gi, with a determined look mixed with awe.

Seeing the outfit, it was clear that she was not here to clean, nor just visit or watch. "Why ya here?"

"You silly, 'training' of course." Kasumi's pleasant smile warmed most of the room, the one exception being the one person for whom it was intended. "That is not a problem, is it?"

"No, 'course not..." A frustrated Ukyo could not come up with any excuse that did not show her jealousy, and steeled herself for what she knew was to come.

"Th' two a' ya 're pretty evenly matched, so why don't ya spar together, an' I'll work with Kasumi, who needs th' most help."

"Shampoo always ready to 'spar' that one..."

Ukyo mentally cursed to herself, unhappy with the interruption, and upset that her chances of sparring with Ranma just dropped considerably. 'Knew it!' Grabbing Shampoo by the arm, she pulled her outside. "Come on, takin' this outta there, don't wanna disturb 'em!"

Staring at her rival, the Nujie Zu Warrior's eyes opened wider. "What problem?"

"Can't ya see it? Why ain't ya worried?"

As they started their sparring, Shampoo was, as always, looking for a way to throw off her opponent, and giggled. "Worry, about Onee-chan? Is too too funny! Is no threat!"

"So ya say, but Ah can see it, mark mah words, the Tendos won't be lettin' go a' Ranchan that easily..."

"Violent one with stupid Mousse now..."

"An' they tried Nabiki once already, an' that didn't go well at all, so who else's left?"

Confident in Kasumi's promise to aid her bid for Ranma, she had no fear. "You worry too too much, Shampoo can handle that, no is problem. Is worry if helper teacher get close to Airen?"

"...YEAH! Yeah Ah would!"

"Wow, is trusting no one?"

"Why would Ah? No one evah helped meh fer long before!" After blocking the latest volley of attacks, she almost broke down, though recovering quickly. "Without mah cookin', what else Ah got? Ain't nuthin' left but Ranchan!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Hinako slowly made her way to the kitchen, groggy, and hunting for some caffeine. She stumbled into the room to find Nodoka waiting for her, holding out a cup. After rubbing her eyes, she snatched it, and sucked down the contents. "Thank you, Saotome-san, good morning!"

"Good morning to you as well, Sensei. You slept well, I presume?"

"YUP! Thank you, I hope the guest room was to your liking."

"It was fine, thank you, the bed is very nice." Nodoka gave the younger woman a serious look. "Those other girls, they were all sleeping with my son this morning, may I ask you something about that?"

Hinako froze, not sure what to expect, it was not as if she expected Ranma to do anything, and she HAD been normally supervising when they did that, but it seemed she missed them sneaking in there last night... "Um, well, Ah, what is your question? I was not aware that they-."

"You see, what I want to know is, why you were not ...also there?"

Hinako barely managed to retain her grip on her fishbowl as she facefaulted. "Well, it's a school night, and we normally only have sleepovers on the weekends ...that is, I mean-."

"...I see, well, I suppose that is rather responsible of you, just what one would expect from a teacher! Though I thought you said that my son was not yet experienced in that subject...?"

"What? No, we play together all of the time! Oh... You mean... Wait! No! As a teacher, I could never do such a thing!"

"Oh? Are you saying that my son is not attractive to you?" Seeing the other woman blush told all Nodoka needed to know...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ukyo smiled as she looked down at her opponent lying under the freshly cut tree branch, glad that her last attack had flown true. Both of their clothing shredded beyond recognition, they stared at each other, barely able to move. Both of them were breathing heavily as their arguing resumed. "Ha! Serves ya right!"

"Just get lucky is all."

"Say whatcha want, but Ah'm goin' in ta find Ranchan!" Ukyo turned her back, revealing another 'exposed' area.

"Would leave Shampoo like this?"

"Oh definitely!"

"Would go, dressed like that? Shampoo wonder what Airen think... Is too too daring."

"It's YER fault!"

"Tear Shampoo dress first!"

"Ah meant ta do worse!"

"Is only morning sparring..."

"Yup, an' AH won, now, off ta th' spoils a' war!"

Shampoo was mortified as she lay there, unable to summon the strength to move, and far too embarrassed by her loss and apparent weakness to say anything... If that was not bad enough, watching her almost naked rival tearing off to find their mutual love interest to brag about her defeat, made her want to fume! She tried to channel her jealousy and humiliation into power, but was still unable to move her obstruction.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi sat and tried not to enjoy the feeling of the strong arms wrapped around her own, willing herself to focus on Ranma's instructions. It was a challenge for her, but she concentrated on his words, not his hands, and finally was able to picture the energy forming in her own. As it solidified in her mind, she could feel it all of the way to her fingertips, the growing warmth and the feeling of accomplishment. The feeling from her hands helped calm her even more than Ranma's presence had, and it felt as if it were growing, she pictured it in her mind, now almost the size of a baseball.

"That's good, now open yer eyes, an' push forward with yer arms an' mind..."

Kasumi slowly opened her eyes, and saw a cute little glowing pink heart, floating above the palm of her hands. "Aw, it's just adorable!"

"Um, yes, well, uh, just push with your mind, imagine it flying forward, and blowing up that target over there."

"Oh my, but that is not very nice..."

"But, it's just a-"

"Ranchan, Ah won, Ah finally beat that horrible Shampoo! Ah-... What th'?" Ukyo ran into the room, first seeing the closeness of the two, and then noticing the glowing pink heart in Kasumi's palms, she tripped over her feet, and tumbled into the room. In the precious seconds between seeing the romantic scene, and hitting the wall, several levels of horror flashed through her imagination. She blamed the Tendos for pushing her, Shampoo for ignoring the problem, and even the kidnappers for making Ranma look Kasumi's direction. Which made her wonder if someone might do that for her...?

Kasumi saw the mostly naked girl stumbling passed them into the wall, and lost her concentration, causing her 'heart' to pop in a small explosion of glitter. "Oh, my heart, it is broken! ...Kuonji-san! Are you all right?"

"Ucchan!" Running over to their fallen house mate, they examined her and slowly realize that the few remains of her outfit did not cover very much at all! "Uh, erk, I, um, hey! Kasumi! Don't suppose ya'd mind carryin' Ucchan ta bed, would ya?"

Kasumi was about to follow her instincts and gladly help the boy out of an indecent bind, however she had to remind herself that was not the kind of help he needed at the moment, and it was not as if she did not trust him to not do anything that he should not. "Oh my, I do not think I could carry such a heavy load, learning that technique tuckered me out, I am afraid. I would hate to drag someone's feet on the floor..."

The instinctive indignation filled the young chef. "Did'ja jus' call meh fat?"

Ranma wanted to argue, but had nothing. "Maybe ya'd help put Ucchan on my back?"

"Would it not be easier to just do it normally?"

"Well, yeah, but..."

"No buts, you take that girl to bed!"

"That's my boy!"

"Huh?"

As Ranma exited the room, he saw his mother down the hall, smiling and waving at him from the kitchen. "Good job, you two!"

Ranma was not sure what that was supposed to mean, but he hurried toward Ukyo's room, as she started to return to conciseness. "Oooooo, Ranchan! Where 're we?"

"Ucchan, yer back!"

"Where'd Ah go?"

"Ya slipped on somethin' back there, was takin' ya ta yer bed, but since yer awake..."

"But Ah feel so faint..."

"Bah! Someone, not Airen, come help Shampoo!"

"Uh..." Ranma and the others bolted for the backyard.

"But, Ranchan, ya heard that, didn't ya? Yer not wanted out there, but AH want ya in here!"

"Well, yeah, I mean no, but..."

"Oh ferget it, if Shampoo don't want ya ta see it, then Ah guess Ah do, let's go!"

Ranma took off toward the back yard, followed by the others to find a trapped Shampoo, still struggling to free herself. "No! Ranma no look at Shampoo! No should see so weak!"

"I know better 'an most that ya ain't weak!" Not even bothering to put Ukyo down, he walked over and lifted the branch with his other arm. He tossed it aside and offered his free hand to her to help her up, before realizing that she was also almost naked, however, unlike Ukyo, she was not trying to cover herself. "Aaaahhhh... Okay then, well, since ya both 're fine, why don't we all get cleaned up fer breakfast? Good work, all a' ya!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Breakfast was relatively uneventful, and those who were required, left for the school. Nodoka started to clear the dishes from the table, but Kasumi tried to stop her. "Auntie Saotome, you are a guest, you really do not need to help."

"Oh nonsense, as I understand it, you are also technically a 'guest' here in my son's home, and as family, it is my duty to help while I am here!" Her voice lowered a bit, not that anyone other than Shampoo, who was getting cleaned up for work in the other room, was around to hear her. "Besides, I would like to do everything I am able, in order to make up for neglecting my motherly duties for so many years!"

The faux-housewife thought about that for a moment, trying to make sense of something. "Family ...helping? I... hummm." Kasumi wandered off, confused. Her hazy outlook continued as she wandered into the changing room, planning to start the laundry, when she saw Shampoo coming out of the bath.

"Onee-chan! Soap no go in dryer!"

"Oh? Oh! Oh my! I guess I should be glad that was not liquid soap..." Kasumi started pulling her clothing out of the dryer and loading it in the washer as she had intended. "Thank you, it is good that you are still here, I wanted to talk to you."

"Aiyaa! What need?"

"Well, I had a bad feeling this morning, I do not know what it meant, and ...Shampoo-chan, are you certain that everything is all right?"

"...Is okay, just tired, but is okay? Onee-chan look like no is here."

"Oh, I am fine, I am just glad that you and Ranma are both all right!"

"Why no be?"

"I do not know, I just woke up with an awful feeling that something had happened to you..." Kasumi looked thoughtful for a moment. "Perhaps I had a bad dream."

The buoyant young warrior's towel fell to the floor after she looked the other woman over, and jumped to her side, throwing her arms around her. "Well, Onee-chan cheer up! No need wait for more bad dream to join again! More fun when there."

Kasumi blushed, not sure what to think of that either, though she had to admit, she DID rather enjoy her awakening that morning... "Oh my!"

Shampoo finished getting dressed before heading out, hoping she would join them again. ...The look on Ukyo's face that morning was just priceless!

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

All of the recent talk about being 'manly', had Ranma thinking, and he decided it was about time he got something off of his chest. Hoping to avoid Nabiki's spies, he grabbed their lunches, made by his mother, and had her follow him well off campus. "Ucchan, I need ta confess somthin' to ya."

The confusion left and Ukyo's features brightened, her eyes went wide, and she began to squeal. "Oooooooooo-weeeeeeee! Come with me, Ranchan!" Grabbing him by the hand, she pulled out and lit a few candles, throwing a blanket up to give them shade, or 'dim the lights', as it were, before fixing her hair, and using some breath spray. "Now, what was it, ya wanted ta say?"

"Um, well, ya remember back when ya made that sauce? Well, ya know I wuzza stupid, impulsive kid, an' well, I, ya see, yer cookin' was always so good, that, well, I couldn't wait fer ten years, so, I snuck in ..ta taste it, but ...I, I, I-spilled-it-and-tried-ta-make more,-but-I-didn't-have-th'-recipe,-an'-ain't-no-good-at-cookin'-an'..." Ranma was suddenly making use of one of his father's 'lesser attacks', 'The Crouch of the Fallen Tiger'! "I'm-sorry!-I'm-sorry!-I'm-sorry!-I'm-sorry!-I'm-sorry!-I'm-sorry!"

Ukyo sunk down to her knees, completely deflated. "WHAT? Ya mean...? And... So, wait, then, Ah DIDN'T make that mess?" Seeing Ranma shaking his head, she fell to the ground. "Oh thank goodness!" Her relief far outweighing her realization of what that meant for their 'promise'.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Nodoka had been noticing Ranma was doing a lot of reading, something that quite surprised her, knowing her husband as she did, she fully expected him to have less than any interest in any intellectual pursuits. Considering the titles, she predominantly saw were action and adventure stories, which she thought were good choices for a young man. There was only one problem with the choices made, that most of the main characters were celibate! THAT was something she did not like to see! She decided that while she was on the shopping trip for the day, she would stop in the bookstore and pick up a few of HER favorite 'adventure' titles...

Returning home, she slipped them into his collection, briefly reminiscing about one particular story about a police officer from outer space who crashed on a planet of barbarians, and eventually fell in love with their manly leader! She shivered at the memory and considered a long soak in the furo with her 'substitute husband'... Yes, 'Big Hiro', much better than her real husband ever was ...even when the batteries were dead!

Walking into the bedroom she was using, she paused to look at the collection of pictures she had placed around the room, starting with those she had taken when Ranma was a child, and added a new one to the recent ones she had taken, that she had gotten framed while she was shopping. The sun shined off of his well toned chest as he had been going through a kata, it was a beautiful shot of her handsome son, Nabiki would have been proud of her work. "Oh my big boy, sooo manly!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ukyo walked into her shop, surprised at how clean it was, considering she had not been open in a while, she had expected she would have to at least dust. Konatsu ran down the stairs the moment she came through the door. "Ukyo-sama, you are home!"

"As long as that Chinese hussy's stayin' with Ranchan, then Ah live there too, but Ah'm comin' back ta work tanight. Thanks fer keepin' an eye on th' old place."

"Anything for you, Ukyo-sama!"

"Well, thanks all th' same! Now, let's git this grill back up and runnin' so we can open this place back up!"

"Oh, well, actually, the grill is already hot for you, Ukyo-sama."

"What? How'd ya know Ah was gonna be back?"

"I did not know ...actually, your customers were very insistent that I serve them, and I was unable to say 'no' for too long... I warned them, that I was not a good cook, and since they were forcing me, I would not be giving refunds, but they did not seem to care ...at first. It took a while, but they tell me that I have improved some, but I am certain that there will not be a single person who is not thrilled to see you are back, Ukyo-sama!"

"Ya did all that?" Seeing Konatsu nod, she thought about that. Under those conditions, the lower quality food probably hurt her reputation less than being closed would have, and she was rather impressed with the initiative and skill shown, and most importantly, "So ya mean this week wasn't a total loss?"

"Um, no, Ukyo-sama, in fact, after the first day's problems, we managed to make a profit, once I realized that those were the prices on the menu... I have to be honest Ukyo-sama, I am surprised anyone can afford to eat here, but somehow they manage, and they keep coming back. You really are amazing!"

"Okay, then Ah want ya ta do somethin' fer meh, git back there, an' make meh th' special! Chop chop! Let's see what ya got!"

Surprised, but always willing to try and please, Konatsu jumped behind the counter, and proceeded to make the best okonomiyaki possible. "That's not too bad, ya know. If ya watch fer th' air bubbles in the dough as it cooks, ya'll know when ta flip it, an' if ya spread th' sauce like this, ya'll git a better spread. Good. Yer portions are still a bit small, but ya show promise. Ah might have ta give ya more responsibilities. Ya show meh ya kin handle it, an' Ah'll even double your pay!"

"Again? Forty whole yen? Oh Ukyo-sama, you've made me SO happy! Maybe one day if I keep saving, I will be able to eat here as a paying customer!"

"Uh, well, ya shouldn't do that..." Ukyo felt a little guilty about taking advantage of her assistant, though it did not last very long.

"It's just that, it would mean so much to me."

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"Why are you following me?"

"I told you, I am not following you, I am hiding. Why are YOU following ME?"

"I wouldn't follow YOU! I don't even like you!"

"Hurmph! The feeling is mutual, I assure you, but it seems we may not have much of a choice..."

"Don't we? You may not, but I won't give in, not to you, not to ANY BOY!"

"Oh, so you are like 'that', is that why you were with Saotome?"

"NO! I'm NOT! We weren't! That's ...PERVERTED!"

"Bah! It happens all over the world, it is actually pretty common here, from what I understand."

"But that's different! You are supposed to grow out of it!"

"But you did not?"

"What? NO! I don't know what you are talking about!"

"Hey, I understand, you like who you like ...no matter what anyone else thinks!" Mousse's eyes lost their focus, and he stared off into space, visions of a certain lavender-haired beauty danced through his mind.

"Wait ...we're not talking about me anymore, are we? Why do I always have to be upstaged by that ...Shampoo? Damn it!"

"How much time do you have?"

"Why you...?"

"If you want someone to sugar-coat something, you are talking to the wrong person. You are not Shampoo, so I don't care what you think of me, I have no reason to lie to you."

"What? You think I care? Well, I don't! You're not- ...anything!"

"What...? Saotome...? Hibiki...? A girl...? A pig...? What is it you truly desire, Tendo?"

The image of a certain young doctor flashed through her mind and she blushed, before shaking her head, trying to clear the thought. "No, that'd never work anyway."

"What? Perhaps I could help you."

"You'd do that?"

"I have nothing better to do for now..."

"But, no, Tofu-sensei is in love with Kasumi-nee-chan, so there's no way..."

"I see, so why do you not pursue this man?"

"You don't understand! I want Kasumi-nee to be happy, and-."

"According to what I have heard, your sister is not interested in the man, and is currently competing with my Shampoo to take your place..."

"WHAT! I gotta run, gotta hurry, go protect Kasumi-nee-chan!" The gentle hand on her shoulder kept her from running off half-cocked, without even knowing where they lived.

A slight bit of desperation escaped with his voice, not wanting to discourage anyone other than Shampoo from pursuing Ranma, though he recovered quickly. "Your sister is a big girl, and does not need your protection, you should be more concerned with what you want. This means you are free to go for you goal, while your sister does the same."

"But Tofu-sensei doesn't love me..."

"Is that the extent of your desire? The moment it gets tough, you give up? Who does Shampoo chase?"

"Ranma, obviously."

Knowing the answer, it still pained him to hear it aloud. "Exactly, but do I allow that to stop me? No, it drives me on, pushes me to try to be a better man."

"Then why don't you?"

"Huh? 'Why don't I' ...what?"

"Be a better man. All I see is you getting worse, doing the same stuff, over and over, sinking to new low after new low, like with those glasses, you sunk even lower than Ranma!"

"What? I will throw away my pride or anything else, I will do anything, whatever it takes to win my Shampoo!"

"Even drive the girl off? Women are not prizes to be won, no matter what tactics you-."

"You just do not understand our ways ...outsider."

"You're a boy, so you just don't understand women ...from your culture, or any other! All of you, you just want to force us to do perverted stuff!"

"I do believe you are exaggerating here, not all men-..."

"I didn't say 'men', I said 'boys!"

"I see, I see, so what is your problem with 'boys'?"

"What ISN'T my problem with boys?"

"Uuuuh..."

"I mean, they are rude, and crude, and perverted, and horrible, and awful, and..."

"Yes, well, then, let us try something else, what is it you do like about this other fellow?"

"What are you trying to pull? What's your angle here?"

"I'm am just trying to help you. If I were working an angle, I would be pushing you into also trying to take Saotome away from my Shampoo." Then he considered the possibility that if this other woman no longer had her doctor to go back to, perhaps she would be more of a challenge to his Shampoo than this one ever was... He could only hope!

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ranma had been called away to another duel, so while he was gone, and the younger girls were still at work, Hinako and Nodoka decided to discuss their options about what Nodoka considered his most important subject. Hinako had been collecting all of the normal materials used to teach elementary school students, being a teacher, she wanted to present it as he should have received it in the first place. She was having considerable difficulty trying to carry it all with one hand, and eventually gave up, electing to set her fishbowl on her dresser.

Just as she had opened the kitchen door, she shrank back to her child form for the first time in a very long while. Almost dropping her load, she stumbled into the room. "Kuso!"

"Oh my, young ladies should not use such language!" Nodoka hurried over, first making sure the child was all right, and then helped her with her materials, eyeing her suspiciously.

"I'm an adult, I'll have you know!"

"Yes, you are a very big girl... I did not know we had company, are you related to Ninomiya-sensei? You do look a lot alike. Surely that's not your mother ...could not be old enough for that!"

"You could say that... It's kind of a long story, easier to just show you, let me get my fish..." Hinako's arms and legs moved at top speed to propel her down the hallway, quickly followed by a confused Nodoka. As she approached the dresser, she grew, and more than filled out her previously oversized outfit.

"Oh! I am SO sorry, I had completely forgotten you told me about your 'pervert power'..."

Exasperated, she hung her head. "Please, do not call it that..."

She tried to explain her situation again as they walked back to the kitchen, and Nodoka sympathized, having heard stories of the ancient pervert from her husband. While some of his activities were quite manly, she just did not approve of using children, and worse ...theft! A real man would not need to steal undergarments from ladies, they would be given freely!

Still acting childish, despite her larger form, Hinako excitedly described the trouble she had gone thought to gather all of her materials, and researching the teaching curriculum, interviewing other instructors, and generally making a nuisance of herself among her fellow teachers. It had been a lot of fun! Her revelry was short-lived, however, as Nodoka's disapproving gaze was leveled her direction, giving her a clear signal that the other woman did not approve of her plan. Sighing as she looked over her teaching aids and stopped playing with the dolls, Hinako poorly hid her disappointment, sadly looking up at Nodoka. "Okay then, if you do not like that, what would you recommend?"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Shortly after arriving 'home', the okonomiyaki chef spotted that sneaky Chinese woman crouched by the kitchen, obviously eavesdropping on someone. "Hey! Whatcha doin' there?"

Shampoo shushed her offtimes rival as she motioned her to join her in listening at the door. "Xu, xu! Talk later. Listen now."

Nodoka's confident voice chuckled from the other side of the door. "With so many willing 'assistants', I believe that our original plan would still be best."

"We ...had a plan?"

"Of course, do you not recall? It is the simplest of things, one of you girls will take the initiative, and do what needs doing."

"No, they can't, it is too soon!"

"If you do not believe them to be ready, then perhaps as a teacher, you were wanting the honor of doing the instruction yourself then? Is that what you mean? Hummm?"

The two young women thought they could feel the teacher's blush from there. "No! I, but I ...I ...am Saotome-kun's teacher!"

"Yes, and my son, I dare say, is in dire need of instruction. Though I suppose, there is little reason not to allow things to happen naturally, all things considered. ...So, which of you girls wants to try first?"

"WHAAAAAAAT?"

"AIYAAAAAAAAA, SHAMPOO DO!"

"No way! Ya can't do that, Ranchan's MAH iinazuke!"

"Now, how about you girls come in here, and stop all of this sneaking?"

Shampoo happily bounced into the kitchen, closely followed by an embarrassed Ukyo, who refused to meet anyone's eyes. "Shampoo too too happy teach Ranma everything need know!"

"Now THAT is what I like to see!"

Ukyo panicked, she knew that the battle over Ranma's mother's approval was one that she just had to win. She had hoped that his mother would be more inclined to support her bid over the foreign born wild-woman, especially considering the promise her husband had made, unfortunately, even in that, Shampoo seemed to be beating her! She briefly wondered what she had done to upset the gods, after all, she even did part time work as a shrine maiden! "That just ain't fair!"

"What 'is not' fair, my dear? No one is stopping you. You just need to show initiative, like Shampoo-chan here. Now, how shall we handle this? We have four potential ...instructors, and-"

"Four? Ya can't mean..."

"Of course four, I could never include the one who would do harm to that nice Kasumi girl, but you should not interrupt, my dear, it is rude. Now, how shall we decide who goes first?"

Ukyo was torn, unhappy to, apparently, have Hinako and Kasumi included in the 'list', even if they were NOT actively trying to seduce Ranma, that she could say for certain anyway! Though she was relived to hear that at least Kodachi would not have his mother's approval! "Tha traditional Kansai, okonomiyaki cooking contest?"

"Singing contest, yes?"

"We did that already!"

"Ah, Shampoo know, should be who most sexy contest!" She leaned forward, squeezing her bosom between her crossed arms. "Shampoo beat pants off Boy-Girl

"NO, ya can't!" The rejection crossed her lips before she even realized it, even as she conceived a desperate scheme in the back of her mind. It was a long shot, but she had little to lose. "Ah know, how 'bout a swimmin' race!"

"No water, is race to find Ranma!"

"First to find try? Is on!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Having finished the last book he had been given, he was surprised to find a new one that he did not recognize on his shelf. The cover had a rather strong looking man with a sword holding a woman, and the title, Warrior's Woman. He thought it was a bit strange, but it certainly seemed like it would have a lot of action, so if Kasumi had given it to him, then he figured it would be as good as her last recommendation, her tastes had been good thus far!

Early on, there were harrowing feats, but it did not take very long before he started to get a strange feeling from this story. While there was fighting, the focus seemed to be on ...other things, and the last 'battle', was not anything like he was expecting. In fact, it was making him rather 'uncomfortable'. He understood 'clothing damage', but how a fight ends in someone's bedroom like that was beyond him, and some of those moves and terminology just made no sense to him. On the other hand, if it was a way to win a battle with a woman, and not hurt her, then maybe there was something to it...?

He was not sure, but he just could not picture exactly what the author was describing, the flowery language hid the true meaning from his unfamiliar mind. Perhaps if he could figure out their secrets, he would finally be able to prevent so many women from getting the upper hand with him. It seemed to be a type of wrestling, or grappling technique, but without seeing it, he was unable to figure it out on his own. He hoped the author would explain it better, go into more detail later in the book, however the door opened, and he was unable to continue.

Ukyo quickly entered the room, unsure as to why Shampoo was not with her, but not willing to look a gift horse in the mouth. "YES! Ranchan, Ah found ya!"

"Ucchan, what're ya doin' here? Did ya need somethin'?" Returning his bookmark, he set his book on the table.

"Oh, yer readin' a book? What is it?"

"Huh? Oh, just somethin' I found on th' shelf, guess Kasumi-san left it there..."

Ukyo's grimace flashed by quickly enough to avoid being seen as she tried to stay positive. "Any good?"

"I guess, it's okay, I guess I don't get it..."

"Oh, anythin' Ah kin help with?" Not that she wanted to have anything to do with something 'that' woman recommended.

Ranma thought about that for a moment, but suddenly he had a flashback to when he had tried to 'cure' Hinako of her draining ability, and how everyone thought he was a pervert for it. "Nah, ain't nuthin' important... Did ya need somethin', though?"

Ukyo shyly slid herself into Ranma's lap, trying to imitate the few movies she had seen, kissing his neck, and whispering into his ear. "Ah do, Ranchan, Ah do." Seeing him glance away, her own unease grew, and the hurt came through in her voice. "What, ya find a book from that girl, ta be more interestin' than meh? Come on, Ranchan, Ah can show ya stuff that ain't in that book!"

"Urk! no, but I-." Ranma wished that he had understood the moves in the book, if only it was more plainly worded, or perhaps if he were better at reading! He could not be certain on that, but what he did know, was that he needed a distraction!

Almost as if on cue, once again, the door opened. "Shampoo, give enough time try rest, now Airen have best!"

Ukyo stiffened at the voice and Ranma tried to work himself loose, momentarily thankful to his foreign born fiancee, and doing his best to not call attention to himself. This was exactly why he wanted a better understanding of that book. Something about it still made him feel ...strange, yet somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew there was a solution in there somewhere, if he could just decipher it!

"Kuso!"

Shampoo slowly sauntered into view, helping to dislodge a chef from Ranma's lap. "Aiyaaaa! Airen make Shampoo too too happy, now yes?"

"Gack! Shampoo! What're ya doin'?" Ranma wished he could back away, but was afraid what would happen if he made any sudden moves.

"Surprised it took ya this long..."

"Shampoo make sure wear right dress for job!"

"But, yer naked!"

"Is true." Shooting a haughty look toward her rival, she smiled confidently. "Give Pancake-girl plenty time from rushy off, Shampoo make sure is ready!" Practically purring, she rubbed own body until she was close enough to rub on Ranma's instead, one hand going for his chest, the other for his groin!

His 'girlfriends' had always been quite 'foreword', however, this was well above their usual level of pushiness, which said quite a lot, especially in Shampoo's case. "What th' heck're ya doin'?"

"Is no obvious? Come make Airen real man!"

Ranma looked himself over, briefly wondering if he had been splashed while he was not paying attention. "I AM a real man!" Then he gained a hopeful tone to his voice. "Or did ya find some kind a' cure?"

"No is cure-y curse, take boy Ranma, make into man!"

Shampoo's body jiggled in interesting places, catching his attention, and tried to distract his brain as it screamed at him that he was in danger and should flee! "Uuuuuuuh..." The hungry look in their eyes as they stalked ever closer to their prey, set Ranma's nerves off, and the panic filled him, second only to his fear of the feline species. "If ya ain't talkin' 'bout th' curse, then what d'ya mean?"

Their menacing chuckles sent shivers down his spine, and caused his braid to stand straight out, as they closed the distance between them. Seeing him glancing nervously about the room, and rightfully fearing what was to come, they did not wish to take any chances, and dove for his legs. Well trained instincts and reflexes allowed him to jump out of the way at the last moment. The two girls managed to see him grab his book and leap from the window as they crashed into each other, getting entangled in lamp's cord and tumbling into the wall.

"Ranchan, wait! It was yer mom's idea! Come back! Ah don't wanna feel this lonely chest! Ah want ya back in mah arms!"

"Then let go Shampoo chest! Airen, come back, in heart, and other place, Shampoo make feel so brand new!"

"Ya know, I think this is bigger than the both of us..."

"Something was, but Shampoo is love what meant to be..."

"Hey! No fair using th' lyrics against me! This is all yer fault anyway! Ah had everthin' in hand before ya scared off Ranchan!"

"Was Shampoo who have thing ...in hand. Pancake-girl is more scare of thing, than Airen scared of Shampoo curse."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi looked at her clock, and saw that she had been asleep for several hours. "Oh my! Shampoo-chan, what are you doing in here at this hour?"

"No is too too late... Would be sooner, but Airen reading make stay up later. Onee-chan come help Shampoo, yes?"

The young homemaker nodded as she allowed Shampoo to take her by the hand and help her out of bed as they raced down the hall, and into Ranma's room, failing to notice the eyes that followed them. 'How bold...'

"Oh myyyy..." Kasumi barely managed to stay on her feet as she was dragged into the room and quickly grew quiet as she saw Ranma sleeping, looking so very peaceful, as they all dropped to a whisper.

"Whadder ya doin'?" Ukyo glared at Shampoo as she saw who followed her into the room.

"Shampoo tell already, go get fair helping person."

"Yeah ...right..."

Kasumi was not sure she liked having her objectivity questioned, so she politely ignored it and vowed to be as impartial as possible. "What did you need me to help with?"

"Onee-chan still sleeping on Airen, but we make deal. Flat one say we take turn sleep on top Airen. Since that one plan, say Shampoo turn first, but no is wanting Shampoo have fair turn!"

"Well, that does sound like a fair deal, and if you agreed to it..."

"But Ah didn't!"

"Why no object then?"

"Ah couldn't think a' nuthin', but jus' look'it that nightgown! Ya can't tell meh yer not tryin' ta do more 'an sleep!"

The thin silk of the skimpy nightie loosely hung from her curves, revealing far more than it covered, and leaving very little to the imagination, and making it quite clear she was wearing nothing underneath what barely passed as a 'nightgown'. "Oh? Is think Shampoo wearing too too much? Shampoo fix?" Ukyo's eyes were drawn toward Shampoo's jiggling breasts as she haughtily tossed her hair back, before revealing her hip with her other hand. "No is Shampoo fault no look as good wearing, but Pancake-Girl could wear too. Shampoo even let borrow!"

"Well, that is very nice of you... Wait!, no, that is not the right reaction here! It is too soon, I know we have pushed the boundaries, but you should wait until you are properly married!"

"Is okay, Shampoo married, and mother of Airen want Shampoo do." The blushing young woman grinned as she thought about having the boy of her dreams' mother's approval, and coming from a matriarchal society, she needed no further encouragement!

"Hey! Ya ain't th' only one, okay? Could be any a' us!"

"Oh my, 'any', not 'either'? What do you mean?"

"Ranchan's mom might not care, but Ah do!"

"Snoozing is loosing."

"But it's not fair! That deal was 'fore the new rules!"

"Had all night, just like Shampoo. Now is sleeping time."

"Well, that is true..."

"But, it's not fair!"

"Keep saying but no is making true. What is fair, let in go first? Is no fair to Shampoo!"

"That's true too, but if you are going to fight, perhaps it would be better if no one else sleeps in here until it can be settled. This is not really proper behavior for a young lady anyway..."

Ukyo was not sure if she was more relieved or disappointed by the resolution, she did still want to sleep next to him, but she did not want to give 'the Chinese harlot' a chance to rape him in their sleep either! That was the most important thing, to keep that-.

"Yes, is too too true, those who no married Ranma, should no be in bedchamber at night with no permission from true wife! Can go now."

"I'm Ranchan's bride too!"

"No, is ...how say, iinaa-zuuke, is plan for what marry, Shampoo marry before Pancake-Girl come."

A frustrated Ukyo mumbled under her breath, "Ya kin say that again..."

"Shampoo married, and none else is! Hrumph."

"Ya might think so, but ya never asked Ranchan! Ah got Ranchan's promise ta look afta meh!" Conveniently leaving out the part where it technically no longer counted.

"Shampoo no hear word 'marry'..."

"It's understood!"

"Wife no need be 'look after', only husbands, childrens ...or pets... That what want, be puppy, wear leash, be pet on head, sleep in cute little house in back yard?"

"Hey, at least let meh sleep on th' bed!"

"Must train first, no can let mess up bed!"

"HEY!"

"Shush, bad dog, keep barky down, no wake Airen!"

"Stop that! Ah ain't a dog!"

"Want be? Shampoo send for spring water..."

"Ya sure ya want that? Dogs are cat's natural enemies...?"

"No is problem, no have soap, and puppy ten year too too early beat Shampoo pussy."

"Ah'm not touchin' that one!"

"No can sniff either!"

"Like Ah'd wanna!"

"Wait, are we still talking about your cursed form, I never noticed it having a particular odor..."

"Never were..."

"Shampoo smell like flower!"

"Well, AH smell like food, an' we all know what Ranchan likes bettah!"

"Same food, every meal, every day, is too too boring!"

"Hey, it ain't all th' same! There's squid, an' shrimp, an' chicken, an'-..."

"And put all on same thing, every time, no is healthy for Airen, need variety so grow more strong!"

"Oh? Like yer soggy noodles 're any bettah?"

"Shampoo make more than noodle ...and no is soggy! Shampoo make anything, know most Chinese dish! Ranma love Shampoo steamed buns!" She swung her hips and crossed her arms under her large chest to emphasize her point. "Who cooking is husband liking best, Onee-chan?"

Kasumi was trying to figure out which type of filling for the steamed buns she had meant, and did not realize they were talking to her. "I am sorry, what did you ask?"

"What's Ranchan's favorite cookin'?"

Kasumi thought back on the question, remembering the last time she had asked him that very thing, and blushed as she recalled his response. 'Oh, anything you make is the best, Kasumi-san! That's always my favorite!' Well, she certainly could not tell them THAT, but the imploring looks she was receiving made her realize she had to say 'something', and much like Ranma himself, she blurted out the first thing she remembered him really enjoying. "Maybe, sukiyaki?" It was such a rarity after all, and growing boys needed their protein.

Neither of them being exactly familiar with the dish, they were both disappointed, and vowed to learn to make their own versions. They took some solace in the fact that neither of them got the upper hand in that particular contest, and wanted to get back to their original intentions.

They quietly argued for a short time before Kasumi could not stand it any longer. "Did you only need someone to watch you argue, or did you need me for something in particular? If you keep this up, you are going to wake someone, while some of us would like to be joining Ranma-kun in dreamland..."

"WHAT?"

"Shuuuush! Be keepy voice down!"

"Whatcha mean by that?"

"I want to go back to sleep, so I can get up and make our breakfast, clean, and do laundry, what else?"

"Afta this mornin', how kin ya ask that? Ah'm sure Ah don't know what ta expect no more..."

"What I expect, is for guests to not fight in someone's bedroom while people are sleeping. Now, what are we going to do about this?"

"Ah, Ah, ...Ah-."

"Should go to own room, leave Shampoo husband to Shampoo."

"Ah could say th' same ta ya too."

"...Also want leave Shampoo husband to Shampoo?"

"No, a' course not!"

"That what said..."

"Ah meant, Ah... Ya know what I meant!" Ukyo's aura flared to life, tendrils of her hair flowing like tentacles.

"Do Shampoo? Only make sense leave husband with wife for sleeping, no?" Shampoo crawled next to Ranma in the blink of an eye. "No is fighting in husband house or Shampoo take challenge anytime, but would even hurt one what say love? Is too too good thing Airen no want marry someone more boy then girl. Have Shampoo, is all woman, and soft in all right place!"

"How dare ya...?"

"Now go, is too too loud for bed chamber... Only one mans belong in room."

"Why ya... but, ...how ...damn ya! Ah'll be raht back!" Ukyo stomped out of the room.

Kasumi was just glad that Ranma had always been a heavy sleeper. "Shampoo-chan, that was not very nice!"

"Sah-wee!" Shampoo looked so cute that Kasumi was unable to maintain her disappointment.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Things were really not going her way, and Ukyo ran from the room, wishing she had the ability to give herself a 'do over'. She hurried toward the one person in the house who was willing to help her in her battle, when she ran into Nodoka, who was standing in the hall, and caused her to drop her drinking glass. Seeing the look on the older woman's face did nothing to help her mood. "Just perfect."

Ignoring the girl mumbling under her breath, Nodoka did her best not to yawn as the looked at who had bumped into her. "Kuonji-san, what are you doing out here? Did you decide not to participate in our little contest?"

The hint of a frown deepened, sending Ukyo further into her tizzy. "NO! It's just ...they're gangin' up on meh ...so I was goin' ta git help from Hinako-sensei..."

"Who is not already there?" Taking her by the shoulder, Nodoka shook her head and started back toward Ranma's room. "Come now, let us go see what we can do."

Ukyo pointed the other way. "But, Hinako-sensei..."

"Do not worry, we will have a little talk, and work it all out."

"What about your glass, we need to clean up the mess..."

Picking up the empty glass, she showed it to young woman. "This? No need for concern, luckily it did not break, and was already empty..."

Relief overcame any curiosity about why she was hanging out in the hallway with an empty glass, and assumed she was on her way to the kitchen to refill it. "Uh, well, thanks fer helpin' then..."

"Of course my dear, anything to help my son become a proper and manly heir to the Saotome name."

The way she put that, made it entirely clear to her that any support she received would be limited at best, that would not stop her from taking whatever she could get however. Besides, if she wanted the woman as her mother-in-law, then she needed to do everything she could to stay in her good graces, if at all possible. Before she realized it, she was being pulled along by her shoulder, back into Ranma's room, where she insisted they follow.

Nodoka led the trio back into the kitchen where she quizzed them on the situation while she quickly made a pot of tea. "Now, Kuonji-san told me one side, Shampoo-chan, what do you have to say?"

The warrior stood proudly, and bowed before the Saotome matriarch. "Honored mother, this humble daughter only wished to fulfill request, sleep with husband as is right, and make many, beautiful baby together!"

Visions of grandchildren clouded Nodoka's mind, and she was temporarily unresponsive as she hummed to herself. She had missed out on having a big family as a mother, but as a grandmother, she dreamed of having it all. "Oh dear..."

"Oh, way ta kiss ass!" Ukyo grumbled at her rival, hating that she was even being outdone there as well.

"Great-grandmother teach Shampoo to honor mothers. Why no is revere family elder? No think womens worth respect?"

"No, a' course not! Ah jus'... It's just, yer layin' it on rather thick, ain't ya? Ya ain't showed that kind a' respect fer any other adults."

"Those is stupid males what no is deserving. Womans run family, so earn respect!"

Ukyo thought she had some leverage, and decided to push her point in front of Ranma's old-fashioned mother. "Ya gonna try an' boss Ranchan around then? Not honor yer husband?"

"That different! Ranma too too worthy of Shampoo respect!"

"But, what about Hinako-sensei? Not only older, but a teacher an' in a position of authority!"

"Barely older. No count as 'elder', more was like 'rival'. Should know well, respect for rival no is same as elder."

"Yeah well, that ain't th' way it works here, women don't have-..."

"No is? No is womans what own pancake shop before even legal adult?"

"That's different, I hadda pretend ta be a boy, if'n ya fergot!"

"No is now, no one come take. Shampoo see womans control thing all round, in restaurant, in movie shows, on streets, even Onee-chan sometime tell father what do, and is daughter, no is wife. So Shampoo say is universal true, womans run family! Womans can do anything want, if work harder, just make even more better! Everyone what show can, will make more easy for next one what try. In village, when more womans on council, better village do, one day mens saw good, and stop try. Is one of thing Shampoo respect, no let mens or others keep down..."

Nodoka came back to her senses as the two of them talked, and turned toward Kasumi. "Well then, while they are 'bonding', what is your perspective on this situation?"

"Who me? Oh my! I was sleeping, and well, Shampoo-chan came to me, and asked to help, and well, I could not say 'no', and followed into ...oh my. Well, Shampoo-chan and Kuonji-san both care very much for Ranma-kun, and long story short, it seems they decided to take turns, or something like that. Yes, something like that. ...Oh my, it is all just so ...terribly forward, I just do not know what to think."

Ignoring the rest of her babbling, Nodoka focused on the part that caught her attention. "Taking turns, what a wonderful idea! Which of you should go first?" Listening to Shampoo and Ukyo fight between each other for a short time, Nodoka turned to Kasumi. "Since the two of you cannot decide, how about you, my dear, would 'you' care to take the first round?"

Blushing profusely, Kasumi turned away, trying to hide her face, hardly even realizing that she was speaking. "Oh my! I... That would not be proper, it's too soon..."

"What? 'Too soon'? Aiyaaa..." Shampoo carefully considered the implications of her friend's slip of the tongue.

"No way! That ain't fair, Tendo-san slept on top last night!" At that moment, Ukyo fully considered Kasumi to be an official rival, she had no doubts in her mind ...and it terrified her to no end. Shampoo was one thing, they were peers, she might be better than her in some ways, but she had her own advantages as well, and they both fought on nearly equal terms. Kasumi was another story entirely, much like Nodoka herself, Ukyo considered Kasumi to be the epitome of a Japanese Housewife, perfect in every way! How could a tomboy, like herself, compete with a walking domestic goddess? She had to do SOMETHING fast, before it was too late!

Before she had managed to formulate a plan, the doors opened again, and a very groggy looking Hinako stumbled into the room, managing not to spill any of the water from her fishbowl. "Why is everyone so loud this late?" Suddenly her face lit up, and looked at the tea and snacks. "Is it a party? What are we celebrating?"

"Sensei, your timing is perfect! I was going to go collect you soon."

"Really, what am I supposed to be doing?"

Nodoka placed her hands on the other woman's shoulders, spun her around, and led her back into the hallway. "Why, sleeping with Ranma, of course!"

All four of them let out a collective, "WHAT?"

"Well, these two keep fighting over who should go first, but it is taking too long, no one will get any sleep at that rate ...and not for the right reasons. So, since Kasumi-chan does not feel ready, what do you say, would you like to be my son's yotogi?" Nodoka managed not to drool as she pictured the two of them in 'flagrante delicto', and looked forward to lots of beautiful grandchildren.

Hinako pictured the two teens fighting over Ranma while he was trying to sleep and sighed. She had thought they had worked out their problem with that, and were willing to both sleep next to him peacefully, but it seems as though the boy's mother had caused renewed tensions. As his teacher, it was her duty to protect him, and make sure he is ready for class the next day! She WOULD guard him through the night, and make sure no one fights in his room! A newfound determination filled her as she turned to face the hopeful mother. "Of course, I would be honored to help the boy. Turning back toward the stunned teens, she levels a harsh gaze. "There will be NO more fighting in that room! You know what will happen if you do."

Pausing only to grab a small handful of coins, Hinako allowed herself to be led off to her room to change, leaving the others stunned, wondering exactly what she intended to do in there.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Shampoo, Ukyo, and Kasumi barely noticed as Nodoka followed them into the yard, and over to Ranma's bedroom window so they could watch as Hinako ...stood guard? First she paced around the room, trying to look serious, before she got board and stared to yawn. It did not take long before she stretched and laid down next to Ranma, going to sleep.

Waiting a few moments to be sure she was not just pretending to sleep, and once she saw the snot bubble, The young warrior jumped up to make her move. "Is for what Shampoo waiting!"

Seeing the lascivious look on the lavender-haired lass caused Nodoka to grin, and chuckle. "Initiative! That is what I like to see!"

Ukyo sat there, wanting to making a move and live up to their expectations, yet had reservations about acting. Trusting her instincts, she leaned forward and cracked open the window so they could hear as they saw Shampoo sneak into the room and lick her lips. "Airen, Shampoo is taking to beautiful next world."

Stalking forward, she did not even make it half way across the room before a still-sleeping Hinako lifted her coin, and drained her completely! The shock to her system stopped her snoring and caused her to roll over, wrapping her arms and legs around Ranma's. "Do not worry, I will protect Onii-chan!"

"Oh my..."

"Well, that was certainly unexpected..."

Trying to mask her mirth, Ukyo smiled, enjoying the sight of her rival's failure. It took everything she had to keep from laughing. "Knew somethin'd happen. Now it's MAH turn!" Ukyo ran back toward the house, following Shampoo's footsteps.

"Are you certain that is wise?" Kasumi's question came a bit too late to serve as a warning.

Ukyo entered the room as quietly as she could, making her way to his free side. She felt certain that she would be safe, after all, Hinako was the only one she considered as being on her side, and willing to help. Unfortunately for her, Hinako could not tell one person from another in her sleep, and was perfectly happy to deplete anyone of ki, if they got close enough to her 'onii-chan'! She barely managed to contemplate how unfair the whole situation was before she crumpled into a heap on top of Shampoo's fallen form.

Nodoka waited, watching Kasumi's fidgeting, and wondered if she would make her move, though she soon decided that was going to be unlikely. She also figured there was a chance that the girl was just to shy to try anything with a witness, either way, she did not have the stamina of her youth, and could not stay up ALL night. "Well, my dear, if you are not also going to have some fun, then I am going to bed. I envy your youth and vigor, I do hope you use it for some fun before it is too late... Good night, Kasumi-chan."

"Oh, is it late? I will have to check ...later." Her smile returning, she looked into Nodoka's eyes, and saw more mirth then exhaustion. "Good night, Auntie Saotome, I hope you sleep-..."

"Please, call me ...'mother', I have not heard it in so long, and you are practically family. With a little boldness on your part, we could completely drop the 'practically' altogether, then I could call you my 'daughter'!"

"Oh my! I- I- But ...what about...? I could not do that to them! I just would not be proper! Oh my, oh my, oh my..."

Nodoka missed Kasumi's babbling response as she maniacally giggled her way back to the room she had been given to use, fantasizing about all of the grandchildren she would have if Ranma not only took one of them as his bride, but also kept the others as his mistresses!

A stunned Kasumi sat there, unsure what to make of any of it, as if that was not bad enough, for some reason, seeing the voluptuous educator clinging so tightly to Ranma, was making her feel so strange, and she did not understand those feelings at all. There was something, about sitting where she was, watching her snuggling, hearing her coo, 'onii-chan' in his ear while she slept, that was entirely ...unpleasant. Perhaps it was just the pose she needed to maintain to effectively 'peep'.

The request from Ranma's mother had gotten her thinking about her own life, and she prayed for guidance as she stood watch.

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NOTES

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In this case, 'mori' means a 'serving (of food)', so Ukyo's ki attack in this chapter, 'Okonomiyaki Mori', means 'Okonomiyaki Serving', or 'Serving Okonomiyaki'. It might not be the most creative, but it seemed to fit her, in a number of ways. Maybe we should shorten it, 'Okomori', or something... ;)

mori - 盛 - (n,n-suf,ctr) (1) serving (of food); helping; (n) (2) (abbr) chilled soba served on a dish (often on a wicker basket or in a shallow steaming basket) with dipping sauce

For anyone who is not aware, an omake is just bonus material, not to be considered 'canon' in the story.

Omake - 御負け (or) おまけ - (n,vs) (1) (uk) freebie (e.g. with a purchase); something additional; bonus; an extra; (2) (uk) price reduction; discount; (3) (uk) exaggeration; (P)

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OMAKE 01

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Once again, Ranma awoke to find himself completely buried under a pile of soft, thinly veiled feminine flesh, and as always, his panic rose to the fore. Unfortunatally, he was having far more difficulty than usual getting himself free. Not only was he staring to panic about being buried alive, and worried about the impending pounding he was expecting from being this close to so many women, but he was also worried about his morning call to nature becoming too much for him to bare.

The longer he struggled, the more he felt his world closing in on him, and the darkness filled his vision, as the external sounds faded from his ears. All he could hear was the beating of their hearts, combined with the purring of a content Shampoo. The darkness faded and all he could see was pink as his mind went blank.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Nodoka was too excited about her prospects to sleep, and found herself walking the halls, when she heard strange sounds coming her her son's room. Normally he would be out exercising by this time, so she could not believe her eyes when she opened the door and saw him with Kasumi in his lap, Shampoo sitting on his face, with both Ukyo and Hinako being fondled to his sides! "SO MANLY!"

"Aiyaaa! Shampoo plan, maybe backfire, Husband learn Onna-ken too too well!"

"The 'Girl-Fist'? What a manly technique!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

We finally got far enough into this story to use my first planned omake. The idea of this, obviously, came from the cat-fist technique, and the fact that the only thing other than cats that he fears, was being close to girls, also inspired by the 'lady-killer' bandage episode. So, I just starting thinking what would happen if he went through the same sort of 'training' as he did with the cat-fist. Likely this would not be enough by itself, the girls might need to be more amorous, and he might need far more time and 'activity', before having such an effect, but it gives you the idea.

The Onna-Ken - When Ranma's fear of affection gets too be too much for him, he blacks out, but instead of becoming a girl himself mentally to counter his fear, he becomes a 'Lady-Killer', with all of the skills of the best womanizers in history. There could be moves named for guys from Lupin, Bond, Lothario, Casanova, and so on. Though, since Ranma is not aware of himself, it would come down to the girls, and on-lookers to name the sub-skills of this 'style'.

Not using it in the story, so I did not flush it out, but if anyone wants to do that and use it, feel free. Happy to help think up ideas for how to use it if anyone wants.

So, that is all for this episode, join us next time for, 'Babies, Bedding, and Breakfast', or 'Who Wants to Sleep Forever?'


	20. Chapter 20

Warning: This is the fine print, nothing fun is ever said in these things.

Chapter 20 - Twigs of Doom

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Kasumi stumbled into the kitchen, unable to believe she had felt the need to stay out there all night... It was not as if she expected anything to happen between the two, she was there to protect him after all, and even if she had, though that, it was not as if it should affect HER! On the other hand, Ranma WAS her 'little brother', and she HAD to look out for his well being... Yes! That must be it. It was bad enough to do these things before marriage, but with one's teacher? That was even worse, there was no way she could allow something like that to happen, especially not while they were sleeping and unaware of it!

"Good morning, Kasumi-chan, how are you?"

"AAAAH!" Kasumi jumped at the sudden voice, unaccustomed having others awake with her at this hour. "Auntie-Saotome! Good morning!"

"What did I ask of you?"

Shaking her head, Kasumi slowly remembered the conversation they had on the previous evening. "Oh, I am sorry, um ...'Okaa-san'." She gratefully accepted the cup of tea, and sipped on it, happy for the morning caffeine, and was far too tired to notice Nodoka as she slid up behind her and pulled a brush out of her pocket. She was completely unable to resist the motherly touch she had missed for so long, and almost felt half her age again for a moment, though her lack of sleep might had added to that feeling.

"Oh dear, so many tangles ...and is this a twig? What happened, did you fall asleep in the bushes?"

Kasumi blushed, thinking back on the night. "No, I do not believe so, not for more than a few moments at a time anyway..."

"I am not going to ask, though when I am done here, you should go and take a bath."

"I would love to, but I need to make breakfast, and start the laundry-."

"You do not need to worry about that, let mother worry about that, you just get cleaned up, and then you can join Ranma for practice. That was something you wanted to have more time for, was it not?"

"Well, yes, but I-."

"You are too young to have to be doing all of this alone, you need to get out there and enjoy yourself."

"I do enjoy taking care of my family!"

"I have heard about that, and I do not doubt your words, but you are here, and as I understand it, this is supposed to be a sort of 'vacation' for you. So, as long as I am here, I want you to spend more time having fun 'vacationing', and less time working. You are only a child once, and you need to enjoy it as it lasts. I have heard how you had to give up your childhood, I am sorry, I hope you do not mind, I wanted to know how Ranma felt about you, and we talked for hours. It was one of the few topics, other than martial arts, that I did not have to extract details like pulling teeth, you two are rather close, are you not?"

"Oh my, I, well, you are my little brother's mother, I do not mind, you are family Ob- ...Okaa-san. It is just that, I really DO like doing these things, I want to take care of the people I-!" She stopped as the older woman's finger touched her lips.

"I am not telling you to not help at all, but please, allow me to shoulder some more of the burden, while you take some free time to ...play. Not only do I want to finally be able to care for my long lost son, but here, aside from a stable husband, I have the large family I have always wanted, and you can be the eldest daughter, just like in my dreams. Just remember, I am the 'mother' here, and you are helping me, not the other way around, okay? Can you do this, for me?"

Kasumi slowly turned her head, and looked into the matron's eyes, light tears welling up in her own. "So, you will let me help?"

"I wouldn't want it any other way, my dear, I want us to do all sorts of things together! In fact, after the rest of the children go to school, why don't we go shopping together, would that be all right with you, my dear?"

Kasumi threw her arms around waist, almost squealing in delight. "Thank you! Of course, I would love to go shopping with you, Okaa-chan!" She might not have been the mother she wanted, but it was still nice to enjoy the feeling, so much like she remembered.

"Thank you, my dear, it means a lot to me."

"To me as well." Holding the embrace for a few moments longer, Kasumi thought for a moment. "May I ask you something, Okaa-chan?"

"Of course, what would you like to know?"

"Well, it is about last night, I mean, it's just that, you do not think it is improper to 'peep' on Ranma-kun?"

"It just shows a healthy interest for a young person. It is perfectly normal to enjoy watching the person you love sleep. Do not give it a second thought."

"...'Love'...?" Kasumi's blush lit up the room as she tried to hide her face behind her hands, causing Nodoka to gush at how adorable she looked. "Did you...? Did you ever look that way at uncle Genma?"

"WAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Of course not, my dear, only watching movies. Well, there was that one kouhai back in my school days, but that was ages ago!"

"Oh my, I am sorry to mention it..."

"Do not be, it was a pleasant memory. What about you, have you ever had anyone like that, have you even had time to go on a date?"

Kasumi looked sad for a moment, thinking about her own days in school, but then remembered why she missed out on all of that, her sisters, and smiled. "No, Okaa-chan, I had more important things to do, and I do not regret that aspect at all!"

"That is good, though you no longer have to do these things, your sisters have grown, and your father has had enough time to gain independence. What you did was very admirable, but do you not think it is finally time for you to find your own life?"

"Well, I..."

"I know you are tired, just think about it. Now, we are done here, so you go get your bath!"

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It took Kasumi longer than usual to get ready, and almost fell off of the stool as she nodded off several times while scrubbing herself. She always felt better after a nice soak, and she was hoping this time would be no different, the cold water rinse DID wake her up a little bit as she shivered. She wanted to join Ranma and Shampoo for their morning workout after they woke, so she called to her actual mother to give her aid as she climbed into the large, heated tub.

Kasumi relaxed as she entered the warm embrace of the bath, reminding her of the feeling of safeness she got when being wrapped within Ranma comforting aura. It was just so inviting, and her eyelids were so incredibly heavy...

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"Ooh-niii-chaan..." Hinako stretched as she woke to find that she was clutching a long pillow close to herself, and had to take a moment to remember where she was, and why she was not in her own bed or room. Wiping the drool from her mouth, she placed the pillow aside and looked around the room to see Ukyo and Shampoo sleeping on other pillows on the floor. Having no memory of draining the teens in her sleep, she wondered why she was there, but shrugged it off, and tried to stand.

After several attempts, she managed to rise to her feet, and staggered to the kitchen, careful not to shake her fishbowl where possible. After exchanging pleasantries with a grinning Nodoka and downing a cup of coffee, she made her way to the furo's changing room. She realized her teddy had already slipped half off, so she stepped out of it, and placed it into one of the baskets.

Stepping into the furo, she saw someone else was already soaking, and waved. She started making small talk, not even bothering to listen for a response as she washed off and climbed into the tub. She continued to babble on, not even noticing that Kasumi had not really said a word since she entered.

"I wonder what Saotome-san is making for breakfast... Not enough people make sweet things for breakfast here!"

"Mmmm, breakfast." Kasumi mumbled in her sleep, subconsciously responding to the conversation as she snoozed.

"I cannot eat a large one today, I have an early meeting, so I need to be on my merry way?"

"...Married."

"Those kids in third period are getting too lazy, I think I will have to spring a pop quiz on them today..."

"Kids..."

"I may have to call some of their mothers."

"Mother..."

"And that delinquent principal kept us so lat at the last meeting, I had to run my legs off to get to class on time, but I can't let that happen again!"

"Ran ...ma, legs ...butt."

"You know, that Saotome-kun sure can do some amazing things, and yet, is completely baffled by some of the simplest concepts. It stuns me how much that father was able to get away with doing, or not doing, as the case may be... and it falls to us to make up for it."

"Make-up..."

"Just between us, I do not think that Saotome-san's plan of letting the girls handle it is really the best one. I feel fairly certain that it will require more of a firm hand."

"Firm hand..."

"After all, how long have they been trying?"

"...How long?"

"Pretty long, from what I have been told. So if it was going to work, it would have already. No, we are going to have to explain this in basic terms, there is no other way. Saotome-kun can be rather dense about certain things ...especially when it comes to girls. I am just not really sure what to do, I don't exactly have a lot of experience with it... I could never stay big for long, and any guy who would hit on me normally, is either too young for me, or a delinquent, and it is not like I have ever taught a 'Sex Ed.' class before! I don't know..."

"...Sex Ed..."

Hinako heard the sounds of activity coming from the changing room on other side of the door.

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"Look like others is here already..."

"I guess I'll come back later then, you two go right ahead... Jaa-." Ranma turned back toward the hall, trying his best to escape.

"Oh no ya don't, Sugah!" Ranma suddenly found himself tumbling into the wall as his best friend tackled him. "Ya ain't gittin' away from meh that easily, ya still owe meh a backwashin' an' Ah aim ta collect!"

"Well, I guess, but, what about..." Ranma pointed to the furo door.

Ukyo had to admit, she really did not want him to see the women in there, nor even Shampoo, naked, but she wanted to feel his hands on her back even more. "Well, it ain't like it's th' first time, we've all seen each other now, so deal with it, Ranchan. Ya gotta git over this fear a yers."

"I ain't afraid!"

"Prove it!"

"Fine!"

"Fine, that'll be juuuust fine..." Ukyo grinned as her plan started to work.

The two young women were almost instantly out of their clothes and helping a reluctant Ranma out of his. While Ranma was not 'kicking and screaming', he was still mildly resistant, and it took the effort of both of them to drag him into the furo. They were so caught up in their struggle with him, that they did not even fight with each other as they sat him down on the bench, and each washed half of him, that was, until they both started to eye his groin, or what they could see of it from that angle.

As the argument gained heat, Ranma took their sponges from them, one in each hand. "It's fine, rather ya didn't wash that anyway. I'll do it myself!"

Ukyo looked rather disappointed, yet Shampoo did not lose her usual cheer. "Aiyaaa, is too too good , too!" Shampoo's hands quickly got to 'washing' her own pelvic region, and her face grew a little flushed. "No, no, Airen need do more washing, no can be clean just yeeeht..."

Ranma saw how vigorously she was moving her hands, and assumed she must have somehow gotten rather 'dirty', why else would she be licking her own breast clean, like a ...well never mind about what it was like, he would rather not think about those furry little demons anyway. "It's fine, worry about yerself."

"Shampoo is!"

"Then yer just gonna have ta enjoy watchin' Ranchan wash meh then!"

"Tendo-san! What happened?" Hinako jumped up, pulling on Kasumi's arm, trying to pull her out of the water, but slipped, and went underwater herself. Ranma jumped up, and was instantly at the side of the tub, pulling them each out by the arm. Hinako was embarrassed, but recovered quickly, and helped to prop Kasumi upright and stable.

The fact that she was almost snoring showed that she could not have swallowed much water, and would be fine, but her skin temperature felt high to Ranma, and he rightfully assumed she had been in the hot water for too long.

"Saotome-kun, you should take our tired friend to bed, Tendo-san clearly needs some rest."

"No fair! Ranchan's supposed ta wash mah back! Do it yerself!"

Hinako thought about that for a moment, and sat back down. "No, I am not done soaking here."

"The two a' ya're close, why don' ya do it, Shampoo!"

"Go self, Shampoo need moment..."

"Tendo-san is fresh from the bath, and you two have not washed ...completely, yet, it must be Saotome-kun, who is already clean..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Nodoka was on her way to the changing room, to do laundry, certainly NOT to check on Ranma and the girls and see how they were doing, no, definitely not that! Half-way down the hall, the door to said changing room burst open and a nude Ranma came running out, carrying an almost equally nude Kasumi, with nothing more than a towel draped over her! He quickly turned the corner, and ran straight for her bedroom... "Oh dear! My son is SO manly! As I expected, this problem is solved!"

As the ecstatic mother stood there patting herself on the back for having such a good plan and a manly son, an equally nude Ukyo rocketed out of the furo and ran the other direction shouting, "UNIVERSE!" She really had no idea what that was about, and as such, could only assume that he had been too much man for her and had to move on to Kasumi! A moment later, she heard a similar, more powerful shout from within the furo, this time in Shampoo's voice. Nodoka wondered if that was a delayed reaction.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ranma turned down Kasumi's covers with his right foot, planning to slip her into bed, cover her up, and slip out with the lone towel to hide what remained of his modesty by that point, however the sound of Kasumi's stomach growling stopped him cold. Looking down, he saw her eyes starting to flutter open, and considering his situation, started to panic.

"So hungry... Oh my, Anata! Are the kids okay?"

Eloquent as always, Ranma put all of his social experience to use, and responded with all of the practical knowledge he had on hand. "Uuuuh, what?" Had it been anyone else, he probably would have thrown her and ran the moment her hand had reached around and goosed him while he was formulating his reply.

Kasumi slowly became aware of her surroundings, and then where her hand was located, and panicked a bit herself. "Oh my, oh my, oh my... I am sorry Ranma-kun, I must have been having a dream. Would it be all right if I asked you a question?" Seeing him nodding vigorously, she thought about what she wanted to know first. "What is happening here, Ranma-kun?"

"Well, ya fell asleep, so I was takin' ya ta bed..."

"Yes, thank you, but why am I naked?"

"Uh, well, ya see, I guess ya was in the bath at th' time, stayed in too long er somethin'..."

"Okay then, so... may I ask why YOU are also not wearing anything either?"

"I, we, just finished th' mornin' workout, missed ya there, an' were goin' ta clean up, when you suddenly slipped under the water! So they made me carry ya ta bed! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"It is all right, I am glad that they did that. I always feel safe like this ...with you." Kasumi blushed a bit, thinking about how nice it felt to be in the strong arms again, and only mildly self-conscious about neither of them wearing clothing, for some reason it just felt natural to her, as if it was a perfectly normal thing. Looking into the handsome young man's face, with her dream of them being married with many children still fresh in her mind, her instincts told her to plant a kiss on his cheek. She started to comply when she realized what she had been about to try, and started to struggle.

"Kasumi-san, what're ya doin'? Is somethin' wrong? Whoa!" Confused and uncomfortable by the situation, Ranma had trouble maintaining his balance with his passenger wrestling with her instincts, and fell over backwards. The world went dark, as something damp pressed against his face. "Kasumi-san, are ya okay?"

The strange sensations she felt from the muffled voice coming from under her pelvis had made it even harder for her to understand his words, and when combined with how tired she was, what was left of her strength left her, replaced by a strange but nice, new sensation.

Not wanting to be rude, Ranma lay there, trying to get a response from his friend. "Kasumi-san, Kasumi-san! Can ya move? Can ya even hear me?"

Each warm breath, every vibration from him talking, any movement he made sent shivers up her spine, making her quiver like gelatin, and preventing her from having the will to rise. She had no idea why her hips had started to move on their own, but it certainly felt better than anything she could remember! She felt a bit guilty about laying on top of Ranma like that, however she could not bring herself to move more than a small part of herself ...it felt far too good. "Ooh my, please, tell me about your morning, Ranma-kuuuun."

The way Kasumi was lightly moaning and her heavy breathing, Ranma was not sure if she was feeling good or bad, but he was unable to move without pushing Kasumi off of him, and he could not bring himself to do that to her of all people! With no other options, he lay there, doing his best to describe how well the girls were coming along in their ki attack practice, and his own improving control. When he started to talk about how he had been looking forward to helping her, and seeing how far her own practice had come, so did she.

"Oh, Oh, Oh, OH my, OOOOOOOOOoooooooooh myyyYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Nodoka had gone back out into the hallway once she had seen the satisfied looks on both Shampoo and Hinako's faces, feeling happier than she had in more years than she could remember. She decided that the knickknacks in the hall, the ones nearest to Kasumi's master bedroom, were rather dusty, and she was just the one to give them a much needed cleaning!

She had been listening so closely to their soft voices, that Kasumi's 'song of joy' almost gave the eavesdropping matron a 'heart-attack of joy'! To be able to quench the thirst of four women in such a short period of time on his first try, not only was her son one of the fastest learners on the planet, but he was obviously a natural!

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi had finally managed to recover enough of her strength to get off ...of Ranma, and he helped her into her bed.

"Oh, thank you Ranma-kun, I am terribly sorry about that, I guess I am far more tired than I first thought."

'Felt pretty energetic ta me...' Ranma was still quite confused by what had just happened, now more than ever, the thing he held onto with certainty, was that he was going to need to wash off again before his bath! "Eh, no problem, Kasumi-san, I'm always there ta help ya, if ya need me."

Kasumi blushed even thinking about asking for THAT type of 'help' before shaking the thought out of her head. "No, I, thank you, Ranma-kun, I appreciate it."

"Um, Kasumi-san?"

"Yes, Ranma-kun?"

"Could I have th' towel now? So, I can get back ta th' furo."

"Oh, yes, I am sorry, just a moment, it is hooked on my ring..." Kasumi's eyes lingered on his ...legs as her hands fished around under the covers before coming up with it.

Thinking about it, Ranma did not remember her wearing a ring, but, did not think anything more of it as he accepted the closest thing he had to clothing for his run back to the bath. "Thanks, have a good nap. Ya want me ta come get ya when breakfast's ready?"

Kasumi's stomach lightly growled again at the mention of food. "Oh my, yes, Ranma-kun, that would be lovely, thank you."

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Nodoka was in a wonderful mood, things had been going very well for her plan that morning, and it looked as if her goal of many grandchildren that will play with her was well in hand. She was particularly proud of sending Ranma into Kasumi's room to serve her breakfast in bed before he left for school, the reactions she heard from within the room had made it all worth while! What a marvelous day!

Now that Shampoo had left for work, and the others had gone to school, she happily whistled as she made her own way to Kasumi's room. "Kasumi-chan? Did you still want to go with me to the store, or would you prefer to stay in bed and rest?"

"Oh no, of course I want to go with you!"

"Did you enjoy your breakfast?"

Kasumi blushed, thinking about Ranma's insistence on feeding her, which was also Nodoka's doing, not that she was aware of that part. "Oh yes ...Okaa-san, thank you, I assume you made it? It was wonderful."

Nodoka mumbled under her breath, thinking about her careful instruction to Ranma that morning, she had other ideas, but they could wait for another day. "I am sure it tasted better due to how it was served..."

"I am sorry, I did not catch that..."

"No need to worry, are you ready to leave?"

The two of the took their time shopping, enjoying themselves as Nodoka insisted that they go to many other places before they went to the grocery store. They took time looking at everything from housewares, to clothing, and many things in between. As they were leaving one of the department stores, Nodoka noticed Kasumi eying the make-up counter... "Did you need something, my dear, running out of a particular kind of make-up? I notice you are not wearing much..."

"I have never worn any ...well, not since Mother was alive and I was playing dress-up with my sisters..." Kasumi giggled as she thought about those pleasant days, back when the three of them were truly happy.

"Oh dear, never, nothing ...really?" Seeing her nod, Nodoka took her by the arm, and pulled her over to the make-up counter. "This will not do! Excuse me, miss? Thank you, yes, we would like you to show this lovely young woman a few things to accentuate the natural beauty, I do not think we need anything too thick, you are still young and beautiful after all, just a bit of accent color perhaps..."

"Oh my..."

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Ukyo thought she had come up with a rather good plan, now she needed to get help pulling it off, and with any good plan, information was key. Normally she would go to the usual place for it, but she was pretty short on funds, having taken so much time off of work. Konatsu might have tried to run the shop while she was gone, but her waitress still had a long way to go, and should NEVER be in charge of finances! No, she was going to have to be more direct about it, and ask around and try to find someone else who might know. She did not expect a direct answer to a direct question from the source, so she needed to talk to someone else, someone close to her ...target.

Akane completely ignored her when she had tried to talk to her, she could not be sure, but it almost looked as though the youngest Tendo had been fighting with Hinako, but that was just silly, who would do that without a good reason? Odds were far more likely that she was just upset with her about something, most likely to do with-... "Ranchan!"

"Oh, hey Ucchan, how're ya doin'?"

"Ranchan..."

"Ya said that."

"Yah, Ah was lookin' fer ya."

"Yeah, ya wanna eat lunch together? I was waitin' on ya..."

"Ya were?" Ukyo was elated! That had been her best idea ever, to look for Ranma!

"A' course! It'd be weird if we didn't, we do this almost every day these days! Who else would I want to eat lunch with, other than my best friend! Right?"

Ranma's warm smile did not really match the crushed look on Ukyo's features. '...'Friend'.' Ukyo shook her head to clear it of her distraction, if no one else was going to take her seriously, she would have to do something on her own! "Uh, thanks, Ranchan. Ah was wantin' ta ask ya about somethin', if that's all right."

"Sure. What's up?"

"Well, ya know, Ah been thinkin' about all th' stuff Tendo-san does fer us, an' I was wantin' ta do somethin' nice, as a 'thank ya'."

"What, Akane?"

"No, a' course not Akane!"

"HeeEEeeyyyy..."

"Sorry, wasn't talkin' ta ya, Akane-chan, ya mind floatin' over someone else's lunch?"

Seeing her float away, Ukyo was rather surprised that worked, and watched as the deflated girl went the other way, although it could have been due to a change in the breeze, she could not be certain... while Ranma assumed it was simply because HE was not the one who asked.

"So, uh, like Ah was sayin', wanted ta do somethin' nice fer Kasumi Tendo-san, who needs ta have some fun, don't ya think?" Seeing Ranma nod, she pushed on with her plan. "So what Ah was thinkin' was we could set up a nice date, but Ah don't know what type a' person'd be best, so Ah was hopin' ya might know anyone that'd be the right 'type'."

"Oh, that's easy, everyone knows, it's Doctor Tofu!" The words left his lips without thinking, as usual, and like in many cases when that would happen, he felt bad as soon as the words left his mouth. The strange thing was, he could not identify WHY he felt bad about saying that. It was not as if that were news to him, he had known that almost for as long as he had known them, and he certainly wanted Kasumi to be happy, so, what was the problem? He just could not figure out why it felt wrong to him, but he knew it was the right choice, and managed not to contradict himself.

"Oh, then why ain't they got together?"

"Well, I think Kasumi-san might be th' only one who doesn't know... Th' guy's got a shyness problem, probably worse than Ryoga in a way."

Ukyo could relate, it generally took all of her willpower to every try anything, and even then it was mostly only when she was being pressured into it by one of the others, usually while competing with Shampoo! To have a bigger problem than Ryoga was saying a lot, the Lost Boy had one of the worst cases she had ever seen, although in hindsight, it could have been more guilt and fear over his secret, than actual shyness, not that she could be sure. "Better Akane-chan than meh..."

"What was that?"

"Oh, nuthin', just thinkin' 'bout Ryoga, but really, how bad could it be?"

"Saw the guy run all over town dancing with Betty-chan, that's the skeleton in the office, after the two of them spoke once..."

"What...?"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ukyo had told Ranma to leave without her, and took a detour on her way to work. Stopping outside of a certain clinic, she decided to speak to some of the patients, about their good doctor. What she learned, was that Ranma not only had not exaggerated, but he might have even understated the situation, most of them were afraid to even be near the place when 'her' name was mentioned! 'This could be worse than Ah thought!'

Eventually she went inside, glad to see there were few people left within, the advantage of a later appointment when most of patients were older people. Her first time in the office, she examined the neat waiting room, eying the gifts from his other patients. It seemed he really was a good doctor ...most of the time anyway. The place had a very clean and sterile feeling, yet homey and comfortable, it was quite pleasant, she could tell why a 'neat freak', like Kasumi, would like the guy...

"Good afternoon, Kuonji-san, was it?"

"Yeah, Ah made an appointment this afternoon..."

"All right then, if you will follow me into the back room."

'If this man were not a doctor, that would have sounded weird...' She stood, straightening her skirt, before doing as instructed. "Hai, Ono-sensei."

"Oh, please, call me, 'Tofu', my father was 'Ono-sensei'."

"Um, okay then, uh, call meh 'Ukyo', Ah suppose..." She was embarrassed about having a man she just met calling her by her given name, but it would not be right to call him by his, and having him, an older man, in a higher position of authority, using her surname. She had a seat on the examining table as he pulled up a chair.

"When you called me, you mentioned a pain in your chest?"

'Which one?' Ukyo's blush intensified, she had been put on the spot when she called, and just blurted out the first thing that came to mind when he had asked her what her problem was. "Yes, Sensei, Ah, well, ya see..."

Tofu grabbed his stethoscope, and put it on as he looked over his new patient. "Okay, please remove your shirt, and turn around."

"WHAT? Ah mean, okay, sorry." Ukyo chose to do that in reverse order, and turned around before removing her shirt.

Doctor Tofu was about to listen to her heart and breathing, when he noticed something rather obvious... "So, tell me, this bra, is it your usual one? How long have you been wearing it?" The material was a rougher lace, designed far more for its look than its functionality or comfort, and was not to be worn for long periods of time.

Ukyo thought about it, she had Konatsu help her pick them out after she had decided to dress more femininely for Ranma's sake, neither of them were exactly the most experienced, but she needed to be able to compete with Shampoo not wearing any, and now the 'competitive armor' she had seen Kasumi wearing, so she needed to be as sexy as possible! She explained when she bought them, and that prior to that she used to use a breast binding, to keep her looking flat.

"I am going to go out on a limb and say that you are likely also suffering with sensitive and possibly sore nipples?" Seeing her nod, he continued. "This is not designed for comfort, or long term wear, especially for someone at your age, who is still growing. Was this the 'pain' you mentioned?" Seeing her nod again, he continued. "As they grow, you need to keep them covered, protected, by something soft, to keep the rough materials from damaging the sensitive skin. You might even consider a padded-..."

"What, ya think Ah'm not womanly enough either?"

"What? No! It is for added protection! You are also wearing it far too tightly. ...Here." He loosened the clasp in the back, adjusting it to the largest size it had. "Is that better?"

"A bit..."

"Stand up, please." Getting out his tape measurer, he took her various chest sizes. Writing a few notes on one of his prescription pads, he tore off the top sheet, and handed it to her. "Here, give this to the clerk in the store, they should be able to get you something that fits you properly, it should hopefully make you feel better, and should also make you ...stand out more, for the guy you are trying to impress. If nothing else, being more comfortable, should help your confidence. Love or study, there is always something for us to strive for as a goal!"

Ukyo was shocked, he saw right through her, the guy seemed to be pretty sharp, and rather attractive, for an older guy, not that 'she' was interested! Though she had to wonder why he had any problems asking Kasumi out, he was certainly everything many women looked for in a guy, he was a handsome, young doctor after all! "Thank ya, Doctor, mah friend, Kasumi Tendo-san, recommended ya, an' Ah-...?"

Before she could react, Doctor Tofu had snatched the 'prescription' out of her hands, and had begun shredding it in his hands while babbling incoherently. "Kasumi-san! It's been so long! HA-ve you been doing well?"

The look in his eyes made her even more self-conscious, and quickly finished putting her shirt back on, unsure of what to expect. All of the stories she had heard that day had her more nervous than a long tailed cat, in a room full of rocking chairs! She tried not to make any sudden moves, not wanting to call attention to herself. The moment he went for his skeleton, she leaped through the window, and rolled to safety before shaking the glass out of her clothing. It was all quite shocking!

'Well, that explains why they never got together! DAMN! Th' hell can Ah do about THAT?'

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Once she had closed up the shop, she left the rest of the cleaning to Konatsu, and hurried 'home'. She needed to talk to Hinako, and maybe between them, they could think of something to make her date plan to work! It was a bit more 'underhanded' than she liked, so she did not want to get Ranma any further involved, he might take it the wrong way, and misunderstand, she was doing this for their happiness after all!

She waited until she had a good opportunity before she pulled Hinako aside while the others were distracted. Once she had explained the situation, the two of them discussed possible solutions to the problem at hand.

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Shampoo was a bit torn, Ukyo had vanished soon after arriving home, and she had to assume that she was up to something, why else would she leave without Ranma? On the other hand, that meant just that, Ranma was alone! Unfortunately for her, she had not seen him since getting back from work that day, and she was starting to worry that the two of them were together!

She searched all over the house, and only started to relax when she heard that Ukyo was talking to Hinako in her room, and was not with Ranma after all! That allowed her to relax a bit, he had been disappearing to read occasionally these days, and while she still had trouble reading things written in Japanese, with their non-kanji writing systems mixed in, but she could still generally get the basic ideas, just not enough to enjoy reading for fun.

Even she could admit that it meant that she probably ought to practice, especially if she were to stay in this land with her husband, something to which she was not opposed. Sure, she missed her home, and even with her 'cute' act, there were many people who were still very rude to her because of her nationality, but she had always wanted to see more of the world, and there were many people who did not treat her badly based solely on her homeland. Ranma might complain about it, but she knew that was only because he was under their Kiss of Marriage law and not because she was a non-Japanese Asian. In her view, he treated everyone based on their actions, and usually much better than their actions deserve in many cases!

Well, that one exception notwithstanding... When it came to affection, his reactions were completely disproportionate, and completely in the wrong direction! She did know that the Japanese were not generally fond of public displays of affection, and admittedly her 'displays' were a tab bit extreme, though she still thought his reactions went overboard. Compared to most males she had seen, who were even willing to throw away a perfectly happy relationship just to flirt with her, she did not know what to think. She would consider the idea that he was a homosexual, the way he turned down so many women, of various types of beauty, if not for the fact that he has turned down a number of other males even more strongly then the most adamant of the women, he at least tolerates the women to some degree, and she has seen the way he stole glances at her body when she appeared nude before him...

No, she was certain that he liked girls, but there was some other issue at play. It was almost as if he were afraid of ...affection? Could it be? She knew Genma had done terrible things to him growing up, but she never thought even HE could go THAT far! Wait-...

"Oh, good evening, Shampoo-chan, the bath is ready, I was just on my way, would you care to join me? I can wash your back."

She was certain that she was on to something, though she was not sure exactly what, something did not feel 'right' about her thought process, but there was a glimmer, an element of it that rang true, the problem was, that she was just not sure which part... The pleasant smile on Kasumi's face, made her relax, and push it to the back of her mind, perhaps a relaxing bath was just what she needed to clear her head, hopefully getting a fresh perspective. "Okay! Shampoo wash Onee-chan too!"

The two of them ran into Nodoka who was exiting the furo as they entered the changing room. "Oh! It is nice to see you girls getting along so well!" After a blush and a quick greeting, each of them changed into or out of their clothing, and Nodoka muttered something about her 'family lineage shaping up nicely' as she left the room.

The two of them looked at each other, not certain what the matron had meant, though Shampoo smiled at the thoughts of their similar goals and dreams. Visions of miniature versions of herself and Ranma pounced on their grandmother, while others trained with their father and great-great-grandmother, were interrupted by a snapping sound and someone calling her name. As she came back to reality, she saw the earnest look of the concerned elder sister, looking into her eyes, asking if she was all right. "HAI!"

Shampoo was always impressed with the gentle skill the older girl displayed while washing others, and the care with which those hands caressed her body had her starting to fidget and curl her toes. She could no longer wait, and lathered up her hands before rapidly turning around, to face her friend, who was surprised to suddenly find her hands on the younger girl's breasts. The energetic young warrior wasted no time in washing Kasumi, starting with her feet and lower legs.

Kasumi started to pull back, but Shampoo grasped her hands, and held them firmly to her chest. "No stop, need wash there too, but save time, Shampoo wash too!" She watched her eyes as Kasumi slowly worked though her options, and seeing the little embarrassment evaporate from her friend's features, she set her resolve, and continued to ...wash thoroughly. Feeling her chest being massaged once again, Shampoo when back to returning the favor, and rubbing her legs, making sure to work out any knots in her muscles.

"Oh, this is the first time I have washed first in warm water ...it feels rather nice, does it not?"

"Aiyaa, Onee-chan like this, then just wait... Here, sit chair now." Sliding behind Kasumi, she slowly untied her towel, and began to lather the other woman's back. Her fingers sensuously played across the confused young woman's delicate back before slowly working her way to her arms.

Kasumi almost felt an electric current flowing through her back as Shampoo leaned into her back to reach her arms. The younger girl's pleasant humming helped to relax her, at least until her soft breath brushed her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. She did not know what to think, it was rare that anyone had ever bothered to help wash 'her', mostly she had her bath before the others, and for some reason, this was feeling so much better than when she did it herself! While she enjoyed taking a bath, it rarely ever felt 'good', and never like THAT! Her brain had almost completely shut-down with the pleasure she was feeling, and did not resist as Shampoo directed her to lay on her back.

Shampoo was no longer thinking, her brain had shutdown due to the pleasure she received as she used her whole body as a 'sponge' to wash her friend, much like she had seen in some of the videos her great-grandmother had bought for her to study. Moving on instinct, the young woman followed her body's lead, and tried to wash every centimeter of the body under her with every centimeter of her own.

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The Saotome matriarch was happily humming while washing the dishes, thinking back on the recent changes to her life, and she was grateful for all of them, even the less pleasant ones. For while there had been many changes, the one that mattered most was that her son had returned to her life! All of the other adjustments were well worth it for that one, she only wished she could have found him sooner! If that wasn't enough, to think he had attracted so many lovely girls, even if he did change into one himself, still surpassed her wildest dreams! Now she had, not only the return of her son, but three and a half daughters who needed her care as well, and the mother in her was loving every moment of it!

To her, it was just SO nice to be useful again after having been 'abandoned' for so long, she felt as if she were almost floating on a cloud! Thinking about being needed by her newfound daughters, reminded her that two of them were in the furo, and knowing there was nothing better than a cold drink after a long, hot soak, so she decided to prepare two bottles of ice cold milk for the bathing beauties.

The sounds she heard coming from within the furo made her grin widen, and she set down her tray so she could have a peek. She had expected them to have gotten into the bath by then, but saw them still 'washing' each other so enthusiastically, while writhing together on the floor, in what many would call a 'scissors' position. "Oh my, they really are in a 'Passionate Friendship'! There is just nothing quite like the special bond between young friends... Girls will be girls after all!"

Letting out a sigh, Nodoka thought back to her own best friend from back in high school, they had been so close, right up until they had each been compelled to get married, and they lost touch. She had a duty to carry on the family line, there was no room for her friend. Unfortunately, even though she had always wanted a big family, the man her parents forced on her, not only did not seem to care for her, but also had the sex drive of a panda in captivity, so he did not even take a proper mistress to keep her company! ...Suddenly she had an epiphany, she now saw that the gods must have given her husband that curse for a reason, for nothing could have fit the apathetic man better, at least in her mind!

Perhaps then, there was a reason they did that to her son, possibly even to correct some of the damage his father had done to him...? To see that being a woman was not what that man made it out to be! She needed to consider the idea, that just maybe the gods had a plan for their son, if so, then perhaps she ought to look at it as more of a blessing then a curse.

Leaving the bottles of cold milk for them in the changing room, Nodoka walked back to her room, reconsidering things from her new perspective...

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"Ara, Shampoo-chan, did you hear something?"

"HAI! Shampoo hear mother call from heaven, tell Shampoo 'no stop now, is almost there'!" Redoubling her efforts, the lusty lass was really grinding her gears, and breathing heavily.

Kasumi was not certain what was happening, nor how she had gotten into this situation, but for the second time that day, she climaxed, hitting notes above anything she had ever previously attempted. If she could keep that up normally, she thought she could really improve her range as a singer. It made her want to write some new songs and call Nabiki to put together another album! So distracted was she, that she barely even noticed as Shampoo cleaned up their new mess, and led her into the tub.

What brought her back to their current situation was Shampoo cuddling up to her, and purring out, "Onee-chan..."

"Hai-?" She was cutoff as the younger girl pulled her into an embrace and, with her eyes closed, planted a warm and tender kiss on her lips.

"Oh my! Is that ...did you just give me, the Kiss of Death? But, I am not your obstacle!" The feeling of Shampoo's lips upon her own, shocked her to her very core! Not only due to the sudden nature of it all, or the possible threat it might represent, but more due to how familiar, how natural it felt to her! There was just no way such a thing could have happened to her without her remembering, could it? No, surely she had to be dreaming!

Shampoo giggled, almost breaking into a 'guffaw', she could not believe anyone could think such a thing after what they had been doing. "Shampoo know, no could do THAT! Onee-chan is like sister to Shampoo, count as family!"

Kasumi's look of surprise grew along with her blush. "Then ...you mean...?"

Shampoo was clutching her sides, as her lilting laughter filled the room. "No every kiss need be Kiss of Death, or Kiss of Life, sometime, just be kiss of friendship, what Japanese call? Is 'skinship', yes?"

"Yes, well, usually that does not go quite that far!"

"No? Was no first kiss, yes?"

"NO!" Her voice softened, barely above a whisper, she added as an afterthought. "...That would have been Ranma-kun."

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...And now for something completely different, a woman in men's clothing, ripping good laugh!

Ukyo finished explaining her plan to Hinako, and why her help was so desperately needed for it to work. "So, ya got it?"

"Of course, after you close up your shop, and I finish grading papers, I meet you over there?"

"Great, then in th' mornin', Ah'll see if I can't borrow some clothes, then we'll begin trainin'!"

"You also need to make sure you get all of your homework done. Here, take this, then when you are done, we can go take our baths."

Ukyo stared at the papers in shock, completely surprised by the change in topic. On the other hand, if this was the price she had to pay for the aid of her teacher, then it was a small price indeed, although the time it would take gave her a moment's pause. Ranma had been making himself scarce after dinner these days, but she did not want to give her rivals any more opportunities to spend alone time with him than was necessary.

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Kasumi was feeling more relaxed than she had in almost a decade, the closest time she could remember to such a feeling was snuggling with her mother as a small child. She was still a bit confused about the kiss she had received from Shampoo earlier, but she had chalked it up to differences in culture, and left it at that.

"Is feel better now, Onee-chan?"

"Oh yes, thank you very much, though I seem to have much more free-time than I am accustomed."

"Shampoo know just what do! Help Shampoo get Ranma! Love be helpy, yes?"

Kasumi blushed a bit while thinking about the boy in question, but she did not want to see Shampoo get punished for failing. When she considered the boy's remaining iinazuke, and the situations surrounding them, to her it was clear. She did not want to force anything on Ranma however, so it was clearly his choice, but if she were to aid anyone over another, it would be the one with the most to lose, which happens to be the one she thought would make Ranma the happiest!

Shampoo squealed in joy at the slight nod.

"So, Shampoo-chan, are you still enjoying your stay in our country? What about the new house?"

"It too too fun! Shampoo finally have same chance as violent sister, maybe better! Shampoo live in same house, train with husband, feed husband, bathe husband, even sleep next to husband! As good as is, still no is even best part!"

Feeling almost as if she had been taunted, she felt compelled to ask. "Oh, then what would that be?"

"Thing is too too good! From time stay with Ranma, almost no be bothered! It seem Shampoo finally wash stupid Mousse right out of hair!"

Kasumi giggled, pleased that her friend was doing well. "That is nice, I am glad you are happy. If there is anything I can do to assist you in adjusting, let me know."

"Shampoo glad too! So, want turn? Do Kasumi-onee-chan go many date?" The sleek minx slyly gazed across the furo and into her friend's eyes.

"Oh no! Me? When would I have ever found the time for such a thing? That would have been way too selfish of me!" Blushing, Kasumi turned aside, as her mind shifted from thinking about dating, to the years of caring for her family, and fell into a more natural smile.

"Did no just say have too too much free time? Is too too bad, Onee-chan deserve be happy!"

"I AM happy!"

"Is many kind happy, help others happy, do good job happy, hear good story happy, have fun happy, and be in love with persons happy! Kasumi-onee-chan deserve all kind happy!"

"Well, thank you very much, but I am happy enough. Making others happy is my greatest joy."

"Say no try going to date, so how know is enough?"

"Um, well, because I am happy, and I cannot see doing anything else."

"No could see, if no look, need smell flower, before know if like scent, no?"

"Well, I suppose that is true..." Kasumi developed a deep look of concentration on her beautiful features, before looking up a moment later, and speaking in a rather matter-of-fact manner. "After all, I DO like to garden."

Shampoo was a bit surprised, she was generally used to men tending the flowers back home, yet she had to admit, that Kasumi certainly had the temperament for such work. "Well, Shampoo happy help make garden grow!"

"Why thank you again, do you have some special Chinese fertilizer, or technique you use?"

"What? No is... Never mind, is time get out..." Shampoo shook her head, not wanting to try to explain the metaphor as she got out, and was followed by Kasumi. Entering the changing room, they saw a tray with two bottle of milk, which were still mostly cold, and a short note telling them it was from Nodoka.

After thanking Ranma's mother, they proceeded to dress themselves, making quite a contrast with Shampoo in her short lavender nightie, and Kasumi in her own light-blue, ankle-length gown. Before they reached the door, it opened, and in walked Ukyo and her teacher. Ukyo took in the whole scene, and shot an evil glare at her scantily clad rival. "You bitch!"

"Is too too late, no want fight, Shampoo go Ranma now. Have fun with bath."

Ukyo was fuming, fully aware of what the 'Chinese strumpet' had planned, and what her own planning has cost her, but she felt that it would be worth it. Shampoo was one thing, but having to compete with Kasumi was something else entirely... No, the plan had to continue, she could allow nothing to stand in its way, even if that meant Shampoo was able to get a bit ahead in the short term. She just had to finish her bath quickly, and make sure she was not able to get far enough along! "Fine, but don't think Ah'll fergit, it's mah turn next, an' Ah ain't waitin' another night!"

Shampoo's smile grew, but quickly scrunched up in consternation. "Wait, why so easy? Normal is fighting... What is plan?"

Glancing at Kasumi for a second, the crestfallen cook refocused her gaze onto her usually aggressive adversary as her voice dropped to a whisper. "Tell ya later..."

Shampoo stood there confused, before she noticed the chef quickly disrobe and rush toward the furo. She was filled with a sudden sense of urgency and, grabbing Kasumi by the hand, she took off like a shot toward Ranma's room! Peeking into the room, she saw, and heard, Ranma snoring away, so she turned to Kasumi, made a 'shushing' sound, tip-toeing inside.

Kasumi nervously followed her friend, unsure as to why her presence was needed, but not willing to voice her concerns. Nor did she resist the guilty pleasure as Shampoo directed her to lay next to Ranma before carefully climbing on top of him herself. The way Shampoo was writhing started to make her a bit uncomfortable, though she was unable to move thanks to the iron grip on her arm, which kept her cuddled in close to them.

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Ukyo could not move fast enough, it was only thanks to the insistence of Hinako that she even soaked in the tub at all after washing, if it had been up to her, she would have ran for Ranma's room as soon as she finished scrubbing! By the time she did get there, she was both horrified and relieved at the same time. Seeing both Kasumi snuggling next to Ranma, with a half naked Shampoo laying on top of him had almost given her a heart attack, however, the fact that she had only wriggled halfway out of her nightie, and there was still a blanket between them, caused her to feel a tremendous wave of satisfaction. After covering Shampoo with another sheet and crawling under the covers to lay on Ranma's free side, she made sure to keep her voice down, as she confronted the 'slithering snake'. "There'll be no more a' that tanight!"

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Ukyo was tired of waiting, she had expected Shampoo to meet her outside, so they could talk privately, but the rude trollop did not have the courtesy to show up, and unlike some people, she did not have a poor sense of direction to blame for missing their meeting! Storming off, she started to look for her hated foe, not wanting to give her a chance to ruin her plan, however she was hoping to find a bit of common ground with the other woman, a bit of a mutual cause. Though, she had to admit, her best projections barely had her gaining a bit of breathing room, to not lose too much ground.

After searching the rest of the house, she finally found a room she had not seen before that moment and opened the door. The first things she noticed were the tools hanging around on the walls, and then there was the large, black car, a Cadillac limousine, longer than a normal sedan, but not stretched out. While most of the features of the vehicle went unnoticed, one thing was clear to her, anyone riding inside had to be important, or at least would look as if they were!

With the distraction, she did not see any sign of her target, but suddenly she HEARD a whirring sound followed by the clank of a chain slipping from its gears. Realizing that she was not alone, she slowly made her way around the car, to see Shampoo's hands moving the peddles on her bike, and clearly not paying the slightest bit of attention as the chain hung loosely from the sprockets. She just sat there with a goofy look on her face, obviously daydreaming about Ranma, she knew that look anywhere. Grease smears were also lightly dabbed across her visage, along with that silly expression, and she utterly resented the fact that the filth only served to make the rugged foreign woman appear even cuter! "So, where ya been?"

"Aiyaa! Oh, is flat chest, what want?"

Ukyo grimaced at the insult, but tried not to let herself react to it. "We were supposed to meet this morning, ta talk about the plan!"

"Was we? Shampoo no is remember that."

"Last night, in th' bath, Ah said Ah'd tell ya later, about th' plan!"

"Oooooh, is that what meant? Too too much on mind, no waste time on thing no matter..."

"Ya think it don't matter do ya? Ah could make ya care!"

"Is having too too good day to fight if no is for Ranma, so if done, Shampoo have work-."

"That ain't what Ah meant! Ya may a' noticed that Tendo-san has been gettin' closer ta Ranchan-..."

"Is true, is good friend."

"More 'an that! Mark mah words, that one is tryin' ta take Akane-chan's place!"

"No is same! Onee-chan is help Shampoo!"

'Ah knew it!' "Yer only thinkin' that, I heard from Nabiki that their fathers were tryin' ta push the issue-."

"Is why move here!"

"Exactly!"

"What, you say?"

"What ya think? Ta be closer ta Ranchan, a' course! But it's gotta be 'cause a' those old men, so, way Ah see it, we just gotta find a guy who would make Tendo-san more happy before it's too late!"

"Aiyaa!"

"So, are ya with meh?"

"Well... Onee-chan deserve be happy..."

"Good, knew ya'd see reason! Ah gotta plan, but it's gonna take meh away fer a bit afta work, so Ah need ya ta keep 'em distracted, an' not take advantage a' meh bein' gone!"

"Oh, no, Shampoo never do! Keep so busy, never know gone!"

"Ah don't care if yer crossin' yer fingers, Ah'm doin' this fer all a' us, so Ah'm gonna hold ya to it! Ah'll be here ta take mah turns on top, don't ya ferget it!"

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NOTES

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I hope nobody thinks I am making Kasumi too easy, while she has been more assertive in here than many people see her in canon when she feels it is important enough to do so, she does have a habit of going along for the ride and allowing others to take the lead, and thus far, she has been enjoying where she is being led, so has been putting up a bit less resistance than she might have if these events had happened sooner. As I said before, I am happy to answer any questions anyone has about this stuff, I will do my best to answer anything I can without spoilers (unless you want them).

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OMAKE 02

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Ranma concentrated, trying to focus his ki into his hands as he eyed the target he had erected on the other side of the field. He carefully envisioned what he wanted to happen and just as he was about to release his attack, he heard Kasumi's voice behind him. "There you are, Ranma-kun! Would you like something special for dinner?"

Startled by the interruption, Ranma stumbled over his words. "Sonic BLOOM!"

"Oh my!"

Rather than vacuum blades, his ki had formed sakura petals witch rained down upon them, almost as if they were blowing in a nonexistent breeze.

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I actually should have done that one sooner, but it seems some of my notes are out of order... Sorry about that, and you know, the bad pun. ;p

I hope to see you again for, 'Bubbly Bathing Beauties', or 'Dealing with the Doctor'.


	21. Chapter 21

Standard Disclaimer: If you choke to death and die while reading this story, the author takes no responsibility. Now please enjoy...

Chapter 21 - Scroll Down

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Ukyo had given a photo of Kasumi to Konatsu, and assumed that being good at disguises, the kunoichi would be able to do what needed to be done. The clinic was closed by the time she caught up with Hinako in front of the place, and after a brief reiteration of the plan, they walked over and the knocked on the door. Tofu was initially caught off guard, he had known Ukyo had told him that her teacher would be joining them for their training sessions, however she was nothing like any teacher he had ever had himself! He was almost disappointed that she followed her student into the back office.

As Ukyo looked over the contents of her bag, and got a bit upset about the 'padded' bra, even if it 'was' cute, and the platform shoes also surprised her, though they did look like the ones Kasumi wore otherwise. Once she had taken it all out though, she had to admit, that she probably could not have done better if she had stolen them from Kasumi herself, so decided to forgive Konatsu's unintended insult. With a bit of help from Hinako, who was only slightly more familiar with the style of outfit, and 'minimal' makeup. She was more than painfully aware that the elder girl had either started wearing makeup recently, or she had changed to more noticeable shades, and there was generally only one reason a woman who had never worn makeup before, would suddenly start... and that just made the young chef all the more determined in the success of her plan!

With her new determination, and Hinako's help, she quickly changed into the strange feeling clothing. She did not feel like herself, though she supposed that would be okay, since that was actually the point. It did not change the fact that she barely recognized herself in the mirror, especially once they adjusted her ponytail to the side. Winking, she blew a kiss to herself in the mirror before they exited.

The 'good doctor' was facing away from them as they entered the room, nervously sipping at a cup of tea. Ukyo quietly walked up behind him, coughed into her hand, and concentrated for a moment before speaking in an almost flawless Tokyo dialect, doing her best to imitate the eldest Tendo daughter. "Ara, ara, ara! Tofu-sensei, good afternoon!"

He was almost qualified to take Betty-chan out on a date, from nearly jumping out of his skin, likely being splashed with the hot tea shocked him back into it. "Ka-Ka-Ka-Kasumi! Wa-wa-what are you doing here?"

Her voice returned to its usual accent, as she was stunned out of her act for a moment. "No, Sensei, it's meh, Ukyo-..."

"Oh, Kasumi, it's been so long, you never come to visit anymore!"

Ukyo stared agape at the man standing there fidgeting while covered in tea, and tried to figure out if he was playing, practicing, or serious...

Taking the notebook from her hands, he let out a laugh that made everyone else uncomfortable. "Oh, how kind of you to bring me another one of your marvelous meals! Thank you very much, I don't mind if I do!" When he proceeded to take bites out of the book, they could only stare in awe. "This is not quite up to your usual standards, are you feeling unwell? Should I take a look at you?"

Ukyo was not sure what he was going to do, but she did not like the look in his eyes, and quickly dodged out of the way. Hinako's reflexes were not so quick, and she found herself on the examining table before she could react! Ukyo barely had enough time to catch the remains of the broken fishbowl as it fell from Hinako's hand, and smashed into the nearby table. Fearing for the safety of the fish, she rushed to the kitchen to find a bigger, less broken container to hold them.

Hinako started to worry what was going to happen, she could not find a purchase or a coin, and the look on the young doctor's features did not leave her with very good expectations. His eyes and mouth were wide open, and she got a distinct impression of a hungry wolf coming from his aura, and he was reaching for her. "How about we start by checking the points in your feet..."

Hinako was finding it difficult to move, and even harder to find a coin, when she felt something she had almost forgotten, and suddenly her much smaller legs were no longer in reach of the disturbed doctor. Normally she was able to hold on to someone's ki for an extended period of time, or until she used it as a weapon, however the fish were different. They could give her a near-infinite supply of ki, it could only last as long as they were near, she had found if the opening was even covered for a few moments, she would revert back, so the moment part of the bowl broke and Ukyo ran from the room with it, this was inevitable.

"Kasumi-chan, where did you go?"

"Damn it! Where is five yen when you need it?"

"Oh, there you are!" Not seeing much of anything through his fogged glasses, Tofu reached into his pocket, and held a coin out toward the sound of the voice. "Here you go, I hope it helps you."

"Oh, it will. Happo Five-Yen Satsu!" As the energy filled her, she overcame whatever had been holding her on the table, and she stood, adjusting her outfit, making certain she was not exposed from the strange position she had been in when she shifted. Not having needed to chance size often, she had gotten used to wearing a wider variety of outfits, and this one was not well suited to changing.

Luckily for her, the process did snap him back to his senses, and she had been trying to be careful not to drain too much at once. Looking down at his partially crumpled form, the statuesque instructor felt a bit superior. "Well, I suppose that was just a bit too much for you."

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Ukyo had never had pets before, but she knew enough about fresh seafood to know that these fish needed dechlorinated water, and she could not use tap water to make up the difference. This left her in a conundrum, the fish were to large to fit in any of the small containers, and there was not enough water left in the bowl for any of the larger containers she could find. "Damnit!" After some searching the only thing she found was a box of latex gloves.

First she tied the fingers of the gloves like balloon animals, woven into the shape of a basket under each glove, so they would stand up on their own, before she poured one fish and half of the remaining water into each glove and tying them together. It was far from a perfect solution, and they would have to be very careful bringing them home, but she felt it would work, not to mention how glad she was that the doctor did not use the gloves with powder on them!

Ukyo was slow in returning, doing her best to be as gentle as possible with her charges, yet she did not get far down the hallway, before she heard voices from the room they had been using.

The embarrassed voice of the doctor reached her ears first. "I ...I ...I just cannot seem to help it, you see, ever since then, I get like that."

"That really is wrong on so many levels, you know."

"I know, but you have to understand, Kasumi-chan projects an aura far beyond a chronological age, but rather that of a perfect, young housewife."

Ukyo walked into the examination room to see Tofu sitting upon the floor, with Hinako appearing to tower over him. "That ain't much bettah, ya know, takin' a 'fresh bride'." She started to feel a bit guilty for helping him, though she was unable to think of an alternate candidate.

"If true, however I- I- I-..." Turning his head, the fallen fellow looked to see Ukyo, still in her Kasumi costume, which caused his stammering. "Ka-Ka-Ka-sumi! You are still here too? Did you need to borrow another book? Hahahaha!"

"Sensei? It's meh, Ukyo, uh, Ukyo Kuonji..." She backed up as his glasses fogged over, continually amazed at what she was willing to put herself through for 'Ranma's sake'! As soon as the doctor started to move, she jumped out of the way, not wanting to be too close to the crazed caregiver. "Oh damn!"

"Halt, you delinquent doctor, you will not harm my student! Happo Five-yen Satsu!" The beam struck the dear doctor as he started to rise, and he quickly fell again.

"Much as Ah hate ta say it, Ah think ya gonna have ta give it more time..."

"Too soon?"

"Gotta give th' guy time ta come outa it without help, Ah think... Our goal is ta help Tofu-sensei overcome th' problem, not just keep meh safe."

"I see... Yes, well, I did hold back. It should not take long to recover again."

"Well, Ah suppose yer fish gotta come first. Let's git outa here fer tuh-night."

"There is always tomorrow I suppose." The two women left for home, with Ukyo carefully balancing the fish on the flat of her baker's peel.

"Luckily, I was planning to clean that bowl tonight, so the tank is already prepared. I guess I will have to ready the spare instead."

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Nodoka proudly walked through the shopping district, followed closely by a humming Kasumi. She had been so lonely for so long, that she was practically beside herself with so many children who 'needed' her care, and best of all, she seemed to be closer to becoming a grandmother each day! With several of them sleeping in the same bed as Ranma each and every night, something was bound to happen!

As for Kasumi, she had been enjoying having, if not her own, then a motherly figure, who reminded her so much of the memories of the mother she had tried so hard to replace those years ago, it almost made her feel like a kid again. As if she could regress back to a simpler time, when she no longer had to be 'the responsible one', and could just relax and enjoy herself. It was an odd, but highly pleasant experience, even the hint of guilt at the back of her mind rarely bothered her any longer. She still did not like having to have left her family the way she had, however she could now admit to herself that they had given her little choice, and most importantly, the idea that she was allowed to enjoy some things for herself as well as helping others! Not that it stopped her from wondering how her family was getting along without her...

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Looking around at the shoddy patchwork the two of them had been doing, Genma looked over at his tearful friend, and wondered aloud. "So, Akane is staying at friends again?" Seeing Soun nod as he gathered up the remains of their materials and tools, he made a decision. "All right then, I will get a fire going and start the rice, while you go get the cabbage and mayonnaise!"

Soun dried his tears as nostalgia returned, as it always did while thinking about their luxurious meals of old. "Right you are, Saotome-kun!"

"Of course I am, Tendo-kun, it's better than last week, ne?"

Soun felt a chill as he remembered the first few days of his two elder daughters absence, and his youngest's zealous and overly ...'creative' attempts at feeding them, and sighed in relief. Yes, it was MUCH better that she spend this time of loss with her friends, they were much better suited to dealing with her emotional needs, or so he convinced himself.

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"Thank you again for helping me pick out some new outfits..."

"It is my pleasure, Kasumi-chan, you are the perfect daughter I have always wanted. I cannot tell you how pleased I am that you have chosen to be with my son."

Clearly not understanding the meaning behind the matron's words, the young woman took the 'ball', and ran with it for the opposite goal. "Yes, I only wish to do everything I am able, in order to help Ranma-kun. It is the least I can do, considering my family's part in this."

"Oh, and what might that-?"

Turning the corner, the two women saw a bear, clearly not indigenous to the area, charge into a small eatery in the shopping district.

"Oh my!" Only pausing long enough to recover from the surprise, Kasumi dropped her bags and ran into the shop, looking to see if anyone needed her aid.

Nodoka was doubly shocked, first by the towering mammal's presence in the normally safe location, and second by Kasumi's mad dash into danger! Grabbing the discarded packages, she quickly followed, praying for everyone's safety.

As they arrived on the scene and started to check on any injured, there was a loud shout, telling everyone to, "MOVE IT!"

As would be expected, everyone, including the bear, froze in place, too stunned to move, and without further warning, a young man, wearing a sleeveless shirt and camouflaged pants, burst upon the scene. Leaping over the crowd, he struck the creature with three simultaneous mighty blows to its chest. He hefted his pack onto his back and adjusted his belt as the beast slammed to the floor, obviously unconscious, and seeing that people were tending to the injured, he turned to leave.

"Oh my! Such a ...violent, style."

"Yes, it looked quite ...manly!"

The tall boy appeared as though he has just gotten out of some foreign military service, Nodoka thought that he might have been training with the Americans on their base. Noticing that he had dropped something, she reached down and picked up the scroll. As she started to chase after him, she noticed something odd about said scroll, it had writing on it, looking every bit like a child wrote it. Larger letters at the top spelled out the name 'Ranma', in hiragana, and in poorly written katakana, is said 'Stupid Pops' with an arrow to a child's doodle, which in her mind, looked exactly like her estranged husband!

Even carrying that oversized backpack, he had gotten a good lead on them, and it took a good bit of effort, and a few shortcuts, to catch up to the boy, but she finally managed it after a few more blocks.

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Kasumi finished treating the last minor injury from the incident, luckily the locals were reasonably used to such events, and knew how to escape quickly and safely, when she saw one person escaping that she did not expect. Grabbing their packages, she quickly ran after Nodoka, only catching up to her as she was talking to the rugged looking militant.

"That style you used on the bear...?"

"Oh that? It was the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts' Yamasen-ken." He stood there proudly as he named his style, one that no one had ever been able to withstand, and he was its undefeated master! There was only one way he knew that could counter the art, and finding and mastering that other style, so he could rebuild his family's school, was his sole purpose in life!

Nodoka was stunned, unable to believe what she was hearing. "Saotome school?"

Kasumi was glad to have been doing more exercise lately, she was almost more winded from hearing that statement than from the mad dash across town. "Yamasen-ken?"

"And, you are?" The look in Nodoka's eye was equal parts curiosity and confusion.

"Ranma Saotome..."

"WHAT?"

"You can't-!" Kasumi relaxed a bit, wondering why Nodoka had placed a hand on her shoulder, halting her.

"Hold on now, I do want to hear this story. Perhaps we should got get some tea. Kasumi-chan, do we have enough food for this evening with a guest?"

"With Hinako-sensei and Kuonji-san rarely coming home for dinner these days, I do believe we have enough with what we bought today."

"Then it looks as if we might be having another for dinner..."

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The groove Akane had cut into the field while pacing was quickly growing, and the rest of the ground was already up to her knees. Maybe Mousse was correct, maybe she SHOULD try asking our Doctor Tofu, after all, the odds of him ever asking Kasumi out were slim to none, she knew there had been no progress whatsoever, so there was a chance. Unfortunately, she also knew he only saw her as a child, and was most likely going to reject her. She had to try though, did she not? Maybe if she did something to show him that she was not a child any more, but what could she do?

After several hours of similar thoughts and activities, she concluded that Mousse was probably right! The only real problem, was what to do about it, so she set off in search of advice from her friends, and as usual, she found them together. The two were almost always hanging out with each other, and Akane sometimes got a bit jealous of them for being able to spend so much time hanging out while she had to be training and dealing with all of those stupid ...BOYS!

"Akane-chan!"

"What are you doing here?"

"Do you need to eat here again?"

"Come back to my room, I will go get you something..."

"No, it's not that-." The pair giggled as Akane was interrupted by her own stomach growling, and Sayuri ran for the kitchen as Yuka pulled Akane by the arm, dragging her back toward her friend's bedroom.

"Come on! Just go with it, you don't need to explain, we understand!"

"No, but really..." Akane wanted to protest further, but she had not eaten since she bought lunch at school, and while her friend's mom was not as good a cook as her sister, she was much better than Akane herself ...or the fathers, so she found herself looking forward to the leftovers. She was not sure what their fathers

had told her before she left, but she was sure it was Ranma's fault, somehow, just like everything else that went wrong in her life! "Damn that Ranma!"

"What did Saotome-kun do this time?"

"What HASN'T Ranma done, but that's not the point!"

Walking into the room and placing a tray full of stir-fry in front of her friend, Sayuri looked to her with a face full of concern. "Then why don't you tell us what IS the problem."

Both of the politely watched as Akane scarfed down the food like a starving animal, and successfully refrained from making a comment about how Akane seemed to be picking up Ranma's eating habits! She had barely swallowed the last bite when she was bombarded rapid-fire questions, demanding answers about what was bothering her. They were so quick, and unexpected, she barely caught most of them.

"Um, look, it's really not a big deal, well, it's nothing bad anyway."

"What?"

"Come on, tall us!"

"Is it about Saotome-kun?"

"Shampoo?"

"School?"

"Mousse?"

"Do you finally have a date?"

"Well, kind of, Doctor Tofu actually..."

"SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL!"

Akane's ears felt as if they would blow from the squealing voices beside her, luckily for her, they stopped before it got that far.

"Wait..."

"How is that 'kind of'?"

"Well, it was Mousse who talked me into it, so..."

The two young women stared at each other in shock, having thought that Mousse was supposed to be chasing after Akane, like Shampoo was with Ranma, but soon shook themselves out of it, focusing on the more immediately important aspect. "So, what happened!"

"Nothing! Not yet, I ...that's why I'm here, I ...need help. I want to ...you know, look 'cute' when I go, so ...could you, ya know, help me dress up?"

"SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL! MAKEOVER!" The resonance of the twin screaming threatened to split Akane's ears again, but luckily ended just in time.

"Wait, what?" Akane did not have time to react as her friends quickly stripped her, and immediately went to work, putting on make-up, fixing her hair, and anything else they could think to do. They tried several outfits, from a few of their summer dresses, to a red and black striped bikini with matching club, none of them fit exactly right, and they had to do some fast talking to get out of being hit with the club.

"I told you that club was a bad idea!"

"Sorry, Sayuri, but it WAS cute!"

"But not 'date' cute, we need something more..."

"What about your mom, anything we can borrow there?"

"No, my mom's not that exciting..."

"Hey! I heard that!"

"Sorry, mom! I love you!"

"Yeah, whatever... I love you too, Honey."

"Hey, I have an idea, you still have that sewing machine?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, you remember those old, blue curtains that didn't match the new paint?"

"Yeah, so...?"

"Get the machine ready, I will be right back!" Yuka took off like a shot, running for home as quickly as her legs could carry her.

Akane was surprised to see Sayuri pulling out so much equipment for sewing, she had no idea her friends had such things, or even an interest. The sewing machine, scissors, needles, more thread than she had ever seen before, not even Kasumi had such a collection! There were more utensils then she could even identify, she had no idea how most of them were used, or what purpose they might even have. She was still trying to work it out when Yuka returned, out of breath, and carrying a pile of shiny blue cloth.

"Oh, I see what you mean." Sayuri looked over the material, examining it thoroughly. "We can use part of the liner for gloves..."

"And the bunching at the top will make for the sash and shoulder..."

"Yes, yes... I believe you are right."

"Please stand up straight, Akane-chan."

Akane's well trained eyes had to work hard to watch her friends as they took her measurements, and then really got to work. It reminded her of something, but she could not quite place it. She was fairly impressed by how quickly they were working, even if she had some misgivings about the idea itself, who ever heard of someone making a dress out of a curtain? That could never look good, could it? If they had not looked so serious, she would have accused them of trying to make her look stupid, but they knew how much this meant to her, and would not go that far, and she had to admit, it was looking better than she thought. "How'd you learn to do that?"

"Well, after that skating match, we were both amazed by them, so we started taking lessons from the Kolhotz Fashion Club."

"From ...THEM?"

Looking a bit sheepish, they responded as one. "Well, It's not our fault Furinkan doesn't have a Fashion Club!"

"Now, hold still, we haven't been doing this as long as they have."

"We don't want to poke you!"

Akane stiffened as her best friends started their work, even going so far as to change her underwear! She might have been upset about the 'push-up' bra, if she had not liked the way she looked in it, but the lace panties made her uncomfortable. She rather liked the clip-on earrings, though she was not sure if the make-up was not a bit too much... The dress itself was a beautiful, loose-fitting, sleeveless evening gown, tied together at the waste with a sash of the same material. It bunched together in such a way that she appeared to have a much curvier figure, and the gloves and silk flower on her right shoulder gave it an extra touch of elegance. There was no denying that it looked incredibly well made, unfortunately, it also made her feel like a child dressing up in her mothers old clothing, and the heavy make-up and perfume did not help matters in the slightest. To her, the worst part was the heels, she was having the hardest time even standing still in them, so the thought of trying to walk in them made her want to chicken out completely!

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Walking along with the two women, the faux-Ranma looked up at the size of the house, after seeing the Saotome name on the plate and a series of double-takes, he suffered a twinge of jealousy. "Wait ...then who are you two?"

"Ranma's mother, and future bride." As Nodoka said the word 'bride' she indicated Kasumi as she finished her introductions with a proud grin.

Kasumi was almost as shocked as the impostor, and they both shouted out their surprise. "WHAT?"

"I- I- I- I- I-... Oh my!" Kasumi was certain that she must have heard that incorrectly, that could not have been what Nodoka had meant, she must have just been teasing this young man. While she did not think it was her place to criticize her elder, but she did not approve such humor. The cute blush on her cheeks belied the disapproval in her thoughts.

The stranger was the first to recover, as things started to make some sense to him. "That explains it! Then you must take me to it!" 'I'm pretty lucky, by giving that guy's name, I have found people related to that school!'

"First I would have your name! I wish to know why you are posing as my son, and why you have that scroll, that 'apparently' belonged to my family."

The boy decided that there was no harm, they already knew he was not who he claimed, might as well go for broke, one never knew after all. "Fine, yes, you are correct, and I am sorry for the deception. My name is Ryu Kumon, as for the rest of that, it is a rather long story..."

"Then come inside, and we can discuss it over tea."

"Um, okaaaay." Ryu did want to look around, with any luck, he would be able to find what he needed without too much more trouble. He had been searching for so many years, and with any luck, that chapter of his life, would soon come to an end... Following them into the house, he openly stared into each room they passed, as his dislike for the owner grew. Surly the guy who stayed here had lived a charmed and pampered life, something the vagabond in him envied considerably.

Obviously a rich momma's boy, with a perfect girlfriend like that, could know nothing of the hardships he had faced in his life. It made him sick just thinking about it! It was not until they arrived at the enormous kitchen that he was finally awoken from picturing some wealthy playboy, gallivanting around on his parents' money. Even if things went poorly, he knew that no frivolous hedonist could beat a true warrior who suffered a lifetime for his art!

"...Kumon-san? Are you all right? Can you hear me?"

"Oh, I am sorry, what was the question?"

"Do you have a tea preference?"

"No, whatever you like is fine."

"Fine, Kasumi-chan, how about you choose then?"

"Oolong it is then..."

Sitting on the offered stool, he joined Nodoka at the kitchen counter while Kasumi began making her favorite tea. "So, where should we begin? How about where you obtained that scroll you dropped back there?"

"It was given to me, by my father."

She pointed to small sketch on the scroll. "That man, your father? I do not believe that is true."

"Huh? It is true, my father gave this to me, and charged me with recovering its mate. I have never seen anyone who looks like that drawing! What is that, a piranha?"

"Though I loathe to admit it, that is my estranged husband, as you can see by the words, 'Stupid Pops' with an arrow pointing to it, drawn and signed by my son, 'Ranma', a long time ago."

"I don't really know anything about that..."

"So then the reason you are using that name as your own, and it being on this scroll are just coincidence?"

Ryu felt the heat from the woman's normally calm aura, but did not back off. He understood why she would be upset, though he could not give ground, not when he was so close. He needed to turn this situation around to his advantage, play on their sympathies. "I did say it was a long story, Ma'am. My mother died when I was very young, long before my earliest memories. All I do remember is my father trying to run our family's broken down dojo. Suddenly one day, pops came home with this scroll, saying that it was given to us by a kindly martial artist, and that it was the solution to all of our problems! However, the training was too much, it killed my father, and destroyed what remained of our dojo! Pop's final wish was for me to find the secrets of the Umisenken, and rebuild our dojo... So I have spent my life, training, and searching for the people who gave us this scroll!" He could see their eyes soften as he laid it on thick, the scroll was practically in his hands already!

"Well, that is a terrible story, I am sorry for what you have gone through, young man, but I am afraid I cannot be of much help, I do not know anything about such things. You can, if you would like, wait here and speak with my son, who should be returning soon..."

Ryu outwardly kept his cool as his hopes were dash to pieces and visions of debauched and overindulgent bon vivants filled his mind. "Yes, I think that I will do just that... I do hope that you can forgive me, but I am afraid you have left me little choice..."

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After closing up the shop, Konatsu walked toward the convenience store, hoping to look through the magazines to get ideas for more outfits for Ukyo. Even if she had preferred more effeminate clothing lately, when Konatsu might prefer her in a more masculine attire, but was generally happy as long as Ukyo was pleased. That was, in fact, what inspired tonight's mission, wanting to find new patterns, unfortunately, buying the magazines was out of the question on the waitress' salary, working from memory was the only option. If nothing else, if working in a restaurant did not work out, perhaps the life of a seamstress was not too bad...

Lost in thought, the normally shy server was surprised to sense another local ninja-servant running errands, and hopped over to greet them. "Sasuke-san, konbanwa, it is good to see you again!"

The miniature manservant blushed as he hesitated before waving at the cute kunoichi. Few people treated him with even a modicum of respect, let alone that much kindness from one so beautiful, and who shares his profession, in more ways than one. Not only were they both ninja, but they also had served masters who mistreated them badly. Were it not for that troubling rumor, he probably would have confessed by then, although a life of abuse had made the nervous little man rather gun-shy, and unwilling to put his heart out there. "Ah, Konatsu-chan, it is good to see you as well. Nice weather tonight, don't you think?"

"Why yes, yes it is quite lovely, isn't it? What are you doing this evening?"

"The young master is recovering more slowly than usual, and needed more adult diapers until the last of the casts come off... If I had to tend to a bed pan, I would not be able to keep up with my other ...'work'." Letting out a deep sigh, he steeled himself for what he wanted to do. "Uh, listen, Konatsu-chan, um, busy l-..."

"Yeah, I am really busy these days too."

"No, I mean I-..."

"Hang in there Sasuke-chan, I know the life of a ninja serving harsh masters is a rough and thankless life, but I know you are just the one for the job! Kunoichi Mini Gratitude Technique!" Leaning and quickly pecking Sasuke on the cheek, Konatsu leapt off to finish the evening chores, leaving a dumfounded ninja melting into a puddle behind.

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Thanks to Kasumi joining the others training after dinner, Ranma had been spending his free time in the afternoons reading and doing his own training. He was not resentful teaching the others, but he did want as much time to work on his own techniques as possible. The trouble was, that learning these grappling moves from this strange book were ...beyond frustrating, he just could not understand enough of the strange terms, which did not really seem to fit what he understood about the scene.

If he could not figure out what they were doing, even having a training partner would not be of much help... It was embarrassing to admit that he could not figure out something, but he was starting to think he might have to ask someone for help. Unfortunately, with Hinako and Ukyo having been busy lately, his least awkward choices of people to ask had been unavailable, he did not really think Shampoo would understand the language any better than himself, and besides, it was partly to be used to help himself against the two of them, and women in general, when he was forced to fight them, so he was less inclined to ask them anyway, which only left him Kasumi or his mother to ask.

As soon as he neared the house, he felt something was wrong...

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Nodoka could not have believed how quickly things had turned, one moment she was grilling this strange impostor for information, and the next, they were each tied to a chair in the dining room, uncertain how they ended up that way. Her mind left to wander, she considered the timing of running into this imitation Ranma, the idea still made her fume. While there may very well be a perfectly legitimate reason this person had that scroll, but impersonating her son? She could find little to excuse that! She shuttered at the thought of having met this faux-Ranma before the real one, she could easily have seen herself falling for his deception a few weeks prior.

She had thought that she had been in control of the situation when suddenly the tables had been flipped on her. Of course if that had been her husband, that would have been a literal table flipping! Genma! This had to be his fault, most of the problems in her life had been. There was only one thing that man had ever given her that had any value, and he had taken that from her a decade ago, leaving her with the empty shell of a life! "Damnit!" She was embarrassed when she realized that she let out that very unladylike curse.

"Do not worry, Aunt- I mean, Mother, the REAL Ranma-kun will save us, I just know it." She hated that she would end up putting him in danger again, but she did not wish for his mother to worry any further.

Nodoka was taken aback, she had been so lost in her thoughts, she had completely forgotten their current predicament! The young woman's passion and conviction reminded her that Ranma had returned to her life, and there was nothing 'that man' could ever do about it again! Looking at the earnest expression on her fair features reassured her of several things, including their safety, and more importantly, some of her other motherly decisions, so she wanted to further test the waters. "You seem very certain of this."

"Of course, Ranma-kun will always come through in the end!"

"Does this happen often?" The certainty in her eyes did make Nodoka feel better, even if she was tired of sitting in the uncomfortable position. Before she had a chance to reply, she heard heavy footsteps in the hallway, ending when Ranma's silhouette appearing in the darkened doorway.

"See, just as I said. Welcome home, Ranma-kun, I did not expect you this soon."

"Knew somethin' didn't feel right... What happened here, are ya okay?"

"We are just fine, and glad to see you."

"But, how'd this happen?" Ranma hurried into the room to untie them when another, taller, figure appeared behind him.

"HOLD IT!" With that, the surprise attack hit Ranma square in the back, sending him flying through the large glass window, and into the wall outside!

"RANMA!" The two women hopped their chairs over to see out of the broken window and into the yard as Ryu jumped through the opening to join him in the yard.

Ranma climbed out of the rubble mumbling that he knew he sensed someone else around, before dusting off his clothing and facing the newcomer. "That was a dirty trick. I take it yer th' one that did all that?"

"Boy, you're a bright one, huh? Figure that out, all by yourself, did you?"

"Well, I was gunna try an' find out why yer here, doin' all this, 'fore I beat ya up fer doin' it, but since yer gonna be like that, then I guess I don't care. Ya hurt mom an' Kasumi-san, an' fer that, yer gonna pay!"

"We are not really hurt!" Kasumi cheerfully called out to him, wanting to help mitigate some of the damage.

Ranma stumbled and corrected himself. "Okay, ya messed up th' house, an' ya tied up mom an' Kasumi-san, an' fer THAT, yer gonna pay! ...Better?"

"Cash is always best."

"Now yer startin' ta sound like Nabiki!"

Kasumi pouted a bit. "That was mean! I just do not wish to see you fighting for no reason."

"I knew I should have used gags... but NO, I figured, I would be in another room searching anyway, and I wouldn't have to listen-..."

"But what're ya lookin' fer?"

"The Umisenken, to match the Yamasenken of course!" The lavish lifestyle of this playboy, combined with the grammar of someone who did not pay the least bit of attention in school, made Ryu fume, and every misspoken word grated on his nerves, making his hair feel like it was standing on end.

Ranma dropped his guard, looking confused. "Huh? The 'Umisen'Yamasen'? Why ya lookin' fer old foxes here? The old man ain't here! What are ya, stupid?"

"That's Umisenken, and Yamasenken, yes. Now, quit playing dumb, and hand over the scroll, or do I have to beat it out of you?"

"I don't know what th' heck yer talkin' 'bout, but if ya wanna fight, then, that's fine with me. I wouldn't a' had it any other way..." Ranma dropped down into ready stance, and waited to see if the other guy would do the same attack.

"ENOUGH OF THIS! Mouko Kaimon Ha!" Ryu launched into his opening move, debating on what to use as a follow-up attack against the arrogant aristocrat.

Ranma knew the attack was coming this time, and blocked the three simultaneous attacks, following it up with a spinning back-heel to the head.

Ryu had never found anyone or anything that could move after his opening shout, thus was completely unprepared for a follow-up attack, and barely got his defenses up before he crashed through a tree trunk.

"Same trick don't work on me twice, ya jerk!" Ranma looked at how much damage had already been done to what he still considered to be 'Kasumi's house', and how easily this stranger was standing, he quickly deduced that if he did not take this fight somewhere else, the house might not survive. "If ya wanna do this, let's take it somewhere safer..."

"Nah, I'd rather knock down your house, like you did to mine!"

"What are ya talkin' about? I never seen ya before in my life! I'm sorry if I broke yer house in a fight 'er somethin'... What, did ya want help rebuildin' it?"

"Something like that. Just give me the scroll, and I will be on my way ...after I beat your ass that is."

Ranma hopped over the wall, and down the street. "Even if I knew what scroll ya meant, I wouldn't give it ta ya when ya act like that. Ain't ya ever heard a' askin' nice?"

"Hey, come back here!"

Jumping over a vacuum blade that nearly nicked him, he watched as it sliced through a telephone pole, and almost hit a car. "Hey, watch it with that thing, ya could hurt somebody!"

"That's the point, now get back here and fight, Coward!"

"Once we find someplace with less people!" As he hopped down the street, he saw Shampoo calling out to him.

"What Ranma do? Need helping?"

"Hey, Shampoo. Nah, I got this, but could ya go untie mom an' Kasumi-san?"

"Shampoo do!"

Watching her bounce off into the distance, he ducked, and then jumped over another attack, just glad it missed the fire hydrant they had recently passed.

"What, you have another girl?"

"Well, kinda..."

"How many girls do you have, you philanderer?"

"Well, that all depends on how ya look at it, ain't none of it my choice though. If it were up ta me, I'd just spend my time trainin', with no crazy girls fer as far as ya can tell!"

"You're an idiot, you know that?"

"Ya just don't understand what it's like!"

"You're right, I don't! Rich people problems... You want to get your butler to fight for you too?"

Ranma had to jump back to avoid the sheared street light falling in his path, and jump up to avoid the sweeping kick aimed at his legs. The fight had not even started, and the property damage was already piling up, he was glad he decided to move away from Kasumi's house...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Still needing a new chain for her bike, Shampoo bounded toward home, on her mission to ...untie, Nodoka and KASUMI? Wait, WHAT? She poured on the speed, worried for her 'mother' and 'big sister', as well as a touch jealous. As far as she knew, this was Kasumi's third kidnapping, although, she did take some solace in the fact that SHE was the one making the actual rescue, not Ranma. However, it did not change the fact that she wanted to be the one Ranma carried in his arms as he rescued her, the beautiful princess, before they kissed and lived happily ever after!

There had been the Ghost Cat incident a while back, although thanks to the Nekoken, he had been unconscious before they had gotten to the actual rescue and kiss portions, so she had not been rescued and carried off properly! It might have worked out anyway, if it had not been for Stupid Mousse and Stupid Akane who had to ruin their touching moment at the end... No, what she wanted was a proper princess rescue, with her handsome prince saving her, with no cats to spoil the moment, but first, she had a job to do!

As soon as she turned the corner, she immediately saw the broken wall, and then the window. Beyond which, she saw the two women, tied to chairs, trying to use some of the broken glass to cut themselves free, and it was not going well. Kasumi was leaning back, trying to free her hands, when her chair tipped too far, and started to fall out of the opening.

In one mighty leap, Shampoo positioned herself under her falling friend, and managed to prevent the catastrophe. "Is too too good thing Shampoo hurry! Is okay?"

"Yes, thank you, Shampoo. It would have been bad if the chair had gotten broken, due to my carelessness."

The young Chinese woman had started to grow used to the odd priorities of the pleasant young woman, and was just thankful that neither of them appeared hurt. "Should wait, know Shampoo come!"

"But, Ranma-kun..."

"Be fine."

"I know, but still I worry."

Shampoo jumped in though the broken window, and after a quick exchange of pleasantries, and a couple of knots later, she was lightly jogging as she followed the trail, making sure her tag-a-longs could keep pace. She did not want to show it, but she was also concerned for Ranma, even if she knew he was the best, he had to be, he beat her after all, but even the best warriors could still get hurt!

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Sasuke started to come to, after blacking out earlier in the evening, when he looked up to see the bottom of a soft-soled shoe, as it was planted in his face! Luckily he lost consciousness before the first foot was followed by another, larger one moments later.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Judging by the noise, they were no longer running, and the fight had begun not far from their location. Being less concerned about her tails losing track of her, she increased her speed, slowing down only to point out a napping ninja. "Being careful please, no to trip on road bump."

"Oh my! Sasuke-san, was it? Are you all right?" Kasumi stopped to try to help the poor trod-upon sod, but he did not rouse, and only babbled incoherently about a genius kunoichi dancing in veils.

Seeing Kasumi attempting to lift him, the young woman made a tactical decision. "Shampoo get funny man, so run fast." Casually tossing Sasuke on her back, she quickly surpassed the others, and was the first to witness the clash of Ryu's Demon God Strikes and Guile er, Ranma's Sonic Boom attacks colliding, causing little explosions in the air. Tossing the Kuno servant into a soft patch of grass, she sat and watched the show, waiting for the others to join her.

Ryu was growing frustrated, other than matching his ranged attacks, he had not used any moves from either of the styles, and was mostly just dodging. "Damn it! Why aren't you using it?"

"Using what? Relyin' on weapons is a liability."

"Not a weapon, the Umisenken, of course?"

"Like THAT tells me anythin'! What's that even supposed ta be?"

"The sister style of the Yamasenken, don't you know anything?"

"The what? Ya sure yer not talking about a fox, or old dog?"

"Of course not! THIS is the Kijin Raishuu Dan, from the Yamasenken style, the same attack we have been throwing back and forth, you can't tell me you don't know that!"

"No idea what YER doin', but I am doin' th' 'Sonic Boom', from that Street Fighter game, was easy 'nuff ta figure out, and looked like what yer doin' ta me."

"No, it's from the Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts! I'm just an impostor, and I know it, why don't you? You are the REAL Ranma Saotome, aren't you?"

"The one an' only! Wait, WHAT? Yer using my name, and moves from our school? How dare ya? Ya..." Ranma jumped back, rebounding off of a nearby tree as his battle aura flared to life, and he launched himself toward his opponent in a spiral, while using his 'Chestnut Fist'. "FRAUD!"

Ryu bent backwards, and caught Ranma in tremendous bear hug, using him like a jackhammer with his suplex. "Kaichuu Houju Satsu!"

"Oh my!" Kasumi, did not doubt Ranma, but hoped he had not gotten too hurt from being slammed into the ground like that.

"Ranma!" Nodoka, not accustomed to watching such violent fights, worried about everyone involved.

"Is okay, that no stop Husband!" Shampoo's confidence reassured the others enough that they started to relax and watch more intently.

Ranma was more stunned by the sudden change than the impact, his battle aura protecting him from most of the potential damage not already avoided by 'attacking' and softening the ground. Once the hole he had dug got deep enough that Ryu's head touched the ground, he had to loosen his grip, and Ranma was able to break free and flip away. His freshly popped back throwing him off somewhat, and he stumbled a bit upon landing.

"The 'real' Ranma does not compare."

"An art of pure strength..." Ranma shook his head. "Where did you learn this?"

Always wanting to be helpful, Kasumi waved the answer over her head. "Your father gave them this scroll!"

"What? Pops did this?" Ranma growled at the frustration of someone outside of their school using one of their techniques against him, and worst of all, it was one he did not know ...yet! He was not exactly sure why his father had not taught him, but he figured it was likely one of two reasons, either it was too embarrassing, or it was too powerful, and he was planing to lord it over him later, and judging from what he had seen so far, he was guessing the latter. Well, whatever the reason, if his father did not want him to know it, then he was bound and determined to learn as much of it as he could! Since obviously Genma was not willing to show him, and it was unlikely this fellow would willingly teach him, not without the exchange Ranma could not provide, so that only left him the one option, no matter how painful it might be... He could try to learn it from the scroll, but he learned much more quickly when he saw things first hand.

Despite the tenants of their school and the fact that he could figure out most techniques by just seeing them most of the time, he generally did not 'borrow' moves from other martial artists without express consent, or an incredible need, no matter what his father might recommend. However, in this case, since the moves were from his school in the first place, he did not really see a problem. In fact, it was closer to his duty as the heir to the Saotome School of Martial Arts to collect and preserve any skills from it. The way his mother occasionally talked, he was not sure if his father would be around to do so himself for much longer anyway. Ranma braced himself, and watched closely to see what Ryu's next move would be. "Fine, if ya want ta see what the 'REAL' Ranma Saotome is made a', then bring it on! I wanna see what this 'Yamasenken' is all about!"

"So manly!"

When Ryu saw who had been cheering his opponent on, he felt a bit creeped out. "Why is your MOTHER the one gushing?"

"Hey, don't ask me, we just met. I didn't even know I HAD a mom, not 'til recently anyway."

"How could you NOT know that, everyone has a mom!"

"Well, I don't know, I figured I was stolen as a kid, er something, the kami know I was stolen back enough times..."

"Huh? Whatever, I'm tired of this nonsense."

"I'm still waitin' ta see what ya got... Wanna see if this 'Yamasenken' if worthy a' bein' in th' Saotome School, an' if yer worthy ta use it, 'fore I pound ya."

"LIKE HELL!" Ryu launched into his opening moves only to see Ranma barely hesitate before easily countering him.

"Told ya, same move ain't gonna work on me twice. Ya ain't gonna get anywhere like that. Ya DO got more moves, don't ya? If not, this is gonna be a really short fight!"

The two youths separated, sizing each other up, as Ranma braced himself for more pain.

"Kinshi Kinbaku Shou!" A thick 'golden' rope shot out, wrapping itself around Ranma, binding his folded arms to his sides, and yanking him closer. "Get over here!"

Ranma saw the other boy's aura build up around his right hand as he shot forward, like a bullet aimed right for his heart.

"Geimon Tessen Shi!"

Considering the situation, he had little choice, and shifted his body just before impact, absorbing the impact with his sternum. It still knocked the wind out of him, and caused him to fall over coughing, however he knew it could have been considerably worse, had it hit a space between his ribs. He looked terrible, crumpled on the ground as Ryu stood over him, gloating.

"Hahaha. It looks like the 'real' Ranma isn't much of a fighter after all."

Kasumi winced as Ranma took another blow to the solar plexus. "Oh my!"

Nodoka fretted. After all, the way they had talked about Ranma's fighting ability, she could not believe what a bad showing the boy seemed to be giving, and it pained her to watch. It was a good thing for him, that her idea of 'manly' had little to do with 'fighting', not directly anyway. "It seems this boy might be a bit much, can either of you think of anything we can do to stop this massacre?"

"Airen have reason, Shampoo sure!"

"Yes Mother, Ranma-kun will not lose."

"How can you say that? You look even more worried than I am."

"Oh yes, I am worried ...about how badly they will each get hurt, not about who will win. Ranma-kun will win in the end, but I do so hate to see anyone in pain."

"That all ya got?"

"What's this? You can't even stand, face it, you lost. You need to go back to the person who trained you, and demand your money back, because I've faced children who put up more of a fight than you!"

"That's horrible!" Kasumi burst out in shock!

"Ain't it though? This guy can-..."

"How could you fight children? You meanie!"

"Using the Saotome name while doing this as well, I suppose?" Nodoka was almost as mad as whenever she thought about her still missing husband. For now, she was stuck with the name, and she did not want anyone dragging it through the dirt, not even Genma.

"Of course, but I-..."

"You villain!"

"Hey! Those kids were being bullied!"

"I'll just bet!"

"I was training them! They looked up to me! You should be thanking me!"

Ranma was silently grateful for the diversion, and having regained his breath, he was ready to resume the conflict. "Whatever. As I was sayin', that all ya got?"

"What's the point, you are a bloody mess. No way you can go on, you're done for!"

"Mommy, that onii-san looks like a pretzel!"

The woman covered her son's eyes as she pulled him out of the area. "Don't look, just pretend you don't see anything!"

Ranma used a technique he learned in their travels, allowing him to temporarily shrug off almost any damage, and quickly got to his feet. "Hey, who's a pretzel?"

"You girls were right, that's quite an amazing recovery!"

"Hey! How'd you do that?"

"Just a trick I learned from an old Indian Yogi we met in our travels."

"You went to India?"

"Did I say that?"

For a moment Ryu had thought the other boy had traveled as far as he had himself, but hearing that, his smugness returned. "A few tricks doesn't make up for a lifetime of hardship."

"No, it was in China, might have made it ta India, but we ended up in a certain village, an' well, that was pretty much th' end a' that trainin' trip."

Ranma eyed Shampoo with a mixed look, she was ever grateful for that fateful day however, and grinned from ear to ear in response to the attention. "No know then, but was best day Shampoo life! ...So far."

"Either way, my suffering will give me the edge! Now fight me for real!"

"Is it just me, or does this guy remind ya a' someone?"

"Ranma Saotome, PREPARE TO DIE!"

"Yeah, just like that!"

Ryu launched forward with his opening attack, catching Ranma distracted as he tried not to look at Shampoo, and knocking him through the branches of the nearest tree.

"OH DEAR!"

"No is fair!"

Ryu ignored the lamentations of the women behind him, there would be plenty of time for that once his foe was crushed and driven before him, ...he knew what was best in life! Said foe seemed to still be stuck in the tree, if the rustling was any indication, and he decided not to give him time to recover. "Kijin Raishuu Dan!"

The vacuum blades tore through the thick tree, sending pieces of it flying, and when a bit of red was seen with it, he knew he had scored a hit! "That'll teach your sorry, pampered ass! Are you still alive in there, Momma's Boy?" As an answer, Ranma came rocketing out, aimed straight for the taller lad. "Hey! What was that you said about not using the same move twice?"

"This ISN'T the 'same' move! Psycho Crusher, REVISED!" As Ranma launched into his corkscrew attack, this time he launched small ki blasts from each hand as he rapidly threw palm strikes, rather than the fast moving punches of the prior version.

Ryu had no time to launch a decent defense, or even dodge properly, and caught enough of the blasts to send him flying in the other direction. His pained grunt made the audience wince in sympathetic pain at seeing the trench he created in the ground with his back. Once he rose from the crater, he found that he could not see his opponent anywhere.

Kasumi was a bit torn, while she was mostly worried for the two boys fighting, there was a small voice in the back of her mind that cheered over Ranma using moves that she had helped inspire him to learn, in her own little way, and catching herself cheering about it was doubly embarrassing to her, so unladylike! Thus, when she finally saw how he had been performing his 'invisibility' trick, the one that was developed for helping her, she squealed seeing how his technique was done. "Was THAT all there was to it?"

"There more, mask aura, so most no want look, but is too too good trick, no?"

"Yes, but it's effectiveness is limited by the number of witnesses."

"True, but need know where look."

Ryu glanced around as Ranma quickly avoided his line of sight, causing him to grow all the more frustrated. He considered using his ultimate move, but came up with an alternate bluff, deciding to save it. There was no telling if it would work on Ranma in his present state, and he did not want to ruin the element of surprise. "Hey, Momma's Boy! You had better come out and fight! ...Or perhaps you would rather I take things up with your women? Maybe THEY will put up more of a fight..."

Shampoo took up a defensive stance, and stood between Ryu and the others, making sure he would have to go through her before reaching anyone else.

"DON'T..."

Ryu heard the voice as the temperature began to rise behind him.

"YOU..."

Turning around, he finally saw Ranma, appearing to be on fire, and charging closer with a ball of energy growing between his hands.

"DARE..."

Ryu's eyes went wide as the power increased.

"HURT..."

His arms flailed as he tried to back up as quickly as possible, feeling as if he were moving in slow-motion.

"KASUMI-SAN!"

The explosion was felt for several kilometers, most of the residents and shoppers thought there had been an earthquake, which left anyone nearby with a ringing in their ears that lasted for several moments. As for himself, Ranma had been knocked back into the crater, stuck in the dirt, completely covered in sweat, mud, and a bit of blood, causing Kasumi to scream his name! The three women quickly regained their footing and ran over to see if Ranma was even alive after the blast!

The only remaining trace of Ryu was the set of skid marks from where he tried to hold his ground against the oversized ki blast, before they abruptly ended. All of them had been forced to shield their eyes from the blast at that point, so they had not seen what happened to him. Their concern for Ranma was greater than this other boy, and so they tried to ignore the possibilities of what may have become of him after being caught near ground-zero.

They had only made it halfway to the giant hole, when a surge of power was felt from behind them. It was so strong that even Nodoka turned to see what could be causing it. Upon seeing the branches flying over the trees from the far side of the park, they were like deer in headlights, and could do little more than stare.

Ranma started to struggle to free himself from the indention, worried someone else might suffer because his opponent could not control himself, something he had to deal with regularly when he had people such as Ryoga for 'sparring partners'. Despite the situation, he was unable to prevent himself from wondering what had happened to his longtime rival, while he would normally spend long periods of time away, it had been much longer than the usual break between visits...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

The 'Lost Boy' found himself, as was so often the case, in cursed form and running though the 'urban jungle', with no idea in which city he was located, simply trying not to become something's dinner, when he practically ran into Akane! Remembering their last encounter by the lingering soreness in the foot-shaped dent on his backside, 'P-chan' chose to keep his distance ...and watch.

If the memory of intense pain had not been enough to give the usually thoughtless piglet pause, the fact that she was dressed up, and he thought, looking more beautiful than he could remember certainly did. She wore an elegant blue ball gown, and through his eyes, looked as though she could be the belle of any ball, or the highest ranked of aristocrat. He had never seen her dress in such a fancy style, at least not since the 'Charlotte Cup' skating match, the memory of which still sent shivers down his spine, and that was a completely different type of 'fancy'. For the life of him, he could not imagine any reason for this ...unless? No! It could not be! She could not be going out on a date ...with him! Could she?

As quietly as he could manage, the little black piglet followed the girl of his dreams as she nervously walked along the darkened streets, constantly on the lookout for someone she might know. Her obvious discomfort added to Ryoga's own apprehension, and his anger at his scapegoat for all of his life's problems, grew with every moment. He tried to memorize the landmarks, so he could find Ranma again when this whole thing was over, because that had to be where they were going, he just knew it! If that was true, he knew his heart should shatter into a million pieces! What could he do? He knew they would not stay separated forever, they never did, his luck just was not that good. He prayed to every deity he could remember, unfortunately for him, he tended to get their names wrong, and their type rarely appreciated that sort of thing.

Before long, he started to see landmarks that he recognized, there was a light pole he regularly passed in Kyoto, that trash can was in Shikoku, boy did that bring back memories... Then he passed a parked car that he knew was not far from Tokyo Tower, he was getting closer! He knew it was always better to let someone else lead, especially someone as smart as Akane, but some days his pride would not allow him, specifically if it was Ranma! That big jerk! One day he would have his revenge, that new move of his would see to that~ ...Just as soon as he could perfect it...

Lost in thought, he almost missed another marker... 'Clinic'? Wait, he knew that sign, they were back in Nerima! He knew tailing Akane was a good idea, even if he did have ulterior motives, that was the quickest he had ever gotten anywhere! Although, why Akane was that far from home in the first place, was beyond his reasoning, it must have been the blessings of his guiding star! However, then he recalled he was on a mission, and snuck in more closely as Akane walked up to the door. Suddenly, for some reason, she decided to crouch outside of one of the lit windows, ignoring the door completely. He could not make out the voices from his position, but he could not miss the change in her mood.

Being familiar with depression, Ryoga recognized the growing storm cloud over her head, and wondered what happened to upset her. She stumbled slightly as she ran away crying, and the small black piglet did not let her out of his sight for an instant, otherwise it could be ages before he might see her again! He could not tell how far they had run, but eventually they came to a small park. It pained him to have to keep his distance and watch, and it took everything he had to resist running over there and being her confidant and pet, just like old times. In almost no time, his resolve weakened to the point that he was about to run over there to provide whatever comfort he was able, and accept whatever consequences came his way, when he saw a flash of white come down from the tree, and in moments, a duck wearing glasses was sitting in her lap, listening to her and she prattled on about her problems between her sobs.

Ryoga was stunned, he needed answers, and for that, he would need hot water...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ukyo heard a sound outside and after Hinako 'calmed' the good doctor, she ran to the window to see what had made the noise. She could have sworn that someone had been staring at her, but all she could see was a patch of blue escaping into the darkness. 'How strange...' Figuring that if it had been a thief, then they had made the right choice in running away! She could not imagine what could have been going through someone's mind to make them try to break into a clinic.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Akane could not believe what she was about to do, she barely even thought about where she was going, as her feet led the way, walking the familiar path, and letting her mind wander. Would she really be able to go through with it? What about Kasumi? Did she not have feelings for the doctor? She had always assumed their feelings were mutual, she had always said she wanted an older and more mature man, did she not? Akane had always assumed that was to whom she was referring anyway... She didn't know anyone who better fit that description! Was it really right for her to try and get between them? Although, she knew there technically was not a 'them' to get between, but it was the principal of the matter. Was Kasumi not just waiting for him to get the nerve up to ask her?

Suddenly she got mad as she realized she was just talking herself out of her plan, and how disappointed she and her friends would be if she backed out here and now! She forced herself to march the remainder of the distance to the doctor's clinic, but stopped just before the gate to straighten her clothing, making sure every last detail was perfect. She summoned every last drop of her courage, and tried to confidently stroll up to the door, when she saw shadows move in one of the lit rooms... Wait, did she just hear a woman's voice? The windows were too high to see inside, especially not if she got close enough to hear what they were saying, which she thought was more important.

The doctor's timid and shaky voice was the first thing she could hear clearly. "Ka-Ka-Kasumi-chan, I th-th-think I am ready, would you mind coming in here now?"

"Oh my, here I come, Sensei!" She heard the door opening as someone entered the room.

'No way! It can't be! Is THAT where Onee-chan has been staying?' Well, NOW she understood why she had not come home, but why had she not told them? And to think they had gotten THAT far already! There was no chance for her now! She could not believe her bad luck! Hearing that, broke what remained of her confidence, and she took off at top speed, not even noticing her sobs as she ran, knocking over anything that got in her way, which, luckily, was not much more than one bush and a trash can or two.

With her legs on 'automatic', she found herself in the local park, where she tried to avoid any other living person. Not caring one whit about her new dress, she sat under a tree and hugged her knees to her chest, unable to stop the tears as they fell.

"Why? What can I do? Why did it have to happen like this? Why me? It's just not fair! Why was I born too late? Why can't I be the same woman Kasumi-onee-chan is? What's wrong with me?"

After a good bit of wallowing, no longer having the energy to even punch anything, her last hit, having struck the tree some time ago, waking its occupant, who decided it was time to fly down and quack out a greeting.

"Oh, Mumu-chan, it's you." Akane absentmindedly lifted the duck into her lap, and patted its head.

"Quack?"

"Oh, it's just not fair!

"Quack?"

"Kasumi-nee-chan is so perfect at everything! How could anyone choose me, when they have that option?"

"Quaaaaaaack. Quack?"

"I figured with nothing ever happening between them and Nee-chan not being around, I thought I had a chance!"

"Quack..."

"...At least Nee-chan isn't with that JERK Ranma, I had been worried..."

Something about that gave Mousse pause, he actually wished the two of them 'would' get together, for both of their sakes! That would free up both the doctor and Shampoo... on the other hand, he was not sure how he would feel if his older sister had been ensnared by the lothario, then he remembered all of the times she used to make fun of him for wearing his glasses, like an outsider, and how she would sit on him and take his toys, thus he came to the conclusion that it would serve her right! "Quack!"

"I should've known better, I am just not feminine enough for someone like Tofu-sensei!"

"Quack!"

"Do you think so?"

"Quack!"

"See, you said it, why can't Ranma be that nice?"

"Because Ranma's just a big fat jerk! You're plenty feminine, Akane!"

"Ryoga! What are you doing here?"

"Hold on, Akane, that's not a normal duck, that's that Mousse guy!"

"I know, not everyone lies about their curse, but more importantly, why are you naked?"

Before he had time to recover from the first blow, the quick realization that in his haste, he had forgotten to find some clothing when he changed back, hit him like a ton of bricks. "URK!"

Akane shook her head as she clenched her fist, and her aura started heating the air around them. "I should have known any friend of Ranma's would be a pervert too!"

"I am NOT that jerk's FRIEND! We are enemies!"

"That's not what Ranma says, I don't think I believe you any more!"

Hopping into an outfit he had laid out, the small white duck doused itself with hot water from a thermos pulled from under its wing, expanding, and filling out the clothing before brushing himself off as he stood.

"But, I-" Ryoga found it difficult to speak as the soft, white cloth filled his mouth.

"You condemn Ranma, and yet, you are clearly as much of an exhibitionist. Put something on, no one wants to look at ...THAT!" Mousse turned his head as Akane openly gawked while Ryoga fumbled with the long Chinese shirt, as he tried to figure out how to dawn it. "Luckily for you, I usually carry extra changshan around with me."

"Is that what those robes are called?"

"It is not a 'robe', it is a type if shirt, it is just ...long. I happen to like the garment, it works well with my fighting style."

"But I thought that was a dress, for girls?" Akane looked honestly curious.

Ryoga visibly blanched as his head finally poked through the hole.

"No, that is a cheonsam, or qipao, this is a shirt ...for MEN!"

"Ohhhhh, well it's just, that they are so pretty, and they look so much more comfortable than the ones Shampoo always wears."

"Ah, yes, well, I suppose that they are."

"But, don't you have any pants?"

"I am using them, thank you, go find your own. Where are yours?"

"How should I know? I left them when I started following Akane-chan. Odds are I have some stashed around here somewhere, wherever 'here' is..." Ryoga started searching around in a confused state, looking much like the child who had gotten into their parent's wardrobe, thanks to the extra long shirt, especially the sleeves.

"I am starting to think you just like running around nude."

"I am ...I do NOT! I can't help it!"

"That is what they all say!" Mousse looked unconvinced.

"Well, that IS what Ranma would have said..." Akane crossed her arms in a huff.

"It's NOT MY FAULT!" Ryoga could not believe how quickly things had turned against him, it was not fair!

"That too..." Akane started to wonder why she couldn't see it sooner, the two of them really were a lot alike, they even looked similar!

"It's all just a misunderstanding!"

"You had clothing when you changed, did you not, why not take them with you?"

"It's not that easy! Not everyone can stash extra clothing in their feathers! I hide them when I change, and so I have sets all over, and can usually find one when I change back, but I was in a hurry this time and forgot, okay!"

"You have that bandanna, do you not? I-"

"Why were you in such a hurry then?"

"Well, you were with this guy, and you just never know what those people are up to."

Mousse was never a stranger to sexism nor racism in his life, though the blatant thoughtlessness of some could really get to him upon occasion. "I- Well, I see, so THAT is how it is, and here I was going to show you how to store a set of clothing in your bandanna..."

"You WERE? Just let me go find some! I'll be right back!"

Watching the lost boy disappear behind a wall, the insulted youth scoffed. "Well, I guess that is one shirt I will not see again..." He would have to burn that shirt if it was ever returned anyway... Turning back, he noticed that Akane was no longer there, having wandered off, lost in thought. Mousse decided that she probably had a lot on her mind, and in a way he felt relieved.

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OMAKE 03

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Akane sat in the park, under a tree, fuming about her crush on a certain doctor. "Why? What can I do? Why did it have to happen like this? Why me? It's just not fair! Why was I born too late?"

Akane stood up as her two friends stepped out from behind the tree the trio started to sing, with Akane in the lead and Sayuri and Yuka backing her up.

"Born, too late, for you to notice, me... To you, I'm just, a kid that you won't date..." Akane started to dance as she gazed up at the moon. "Why was I born, too, late?"

The trio swayed back and forth to the music only they could hear. "Born, too late, to have a chance to win, your love... Oh why, oh why, was it my fate...? To be born too late?"

Akane wrapped her arms around herself as she began to spin in her dance. "I see you walk with another, I wish it could be me... I long to hold you and kiss you... But I know it never can be, for I was..."

"Born, too late, for you to care... Now my, heart cries... Because your heart, just couldn't wait... Why was I born too late?" They allowed their voices to rise to the heavens, hoping for some answer from the cosmos.

"Born, too late, for you to care... Now my, heart cries... Because your heart, just couldn't wait... Why was I born too la-a-a-a-ate?"

"Why was I born too late? Too late..."

*This was a 1958 song by the Ponitails, obviously called 'Born to Late'. One day I plan to make it into an AMV, it's been on the back burner for years... ;p

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NOTES

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In case you did not understand the line Ryu used during the fight, it was a reference to Conan, the Robot Chicken version, where they sang about 'what is best in life'. If you haven't seen it, check it out, it's easy to find, and short.

Oh well, tune in next time for, 'The Discipline of Dating', or 'Wrestle Mania for...?'

Hey, look, this isn't comedy gold here people! I am not a professional, please try this at home. ;p


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: In a double blind reading test, bored people preferred official Ranma Fanfiction, over OCs 90% of the time.* (*This statement is not based on fact).

This has been a test of the Emergency Omake System, we now return to our fight, already in progress.

Chapter 22 - Dojo Dogma

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"Why Husband blow self up ...and do no want save Shampoo?"

"...Knew ya could handle yerself..." Before Ranma had been able to fully extract himself from the crater, he found himself on the other side, caught in a tight embrace, and unable to move once again.

"What about your mother?"

"Who? Oh, right, sorry, nice to meet you, Ma'am." Ranma looked clearly dazed from the blast, and his eyes were unfocused.

"'Ma'am'? Are you all right my son?"

"Sun, yes, it IS 'bright' today..." Struggling a bit, he shifted his attention to the vise that held him in place. "Um, Shampoo...?"

"Yes, Airen?"

"Ya mind lettin' go fer now, this fight ain't over."

"Airen mean is okay after fight?"

"Er, well, I didn't exactly say that..."

"Is okay, Shampoo hold to promise!" Shampoo reluctantly released him, content in the assurance of future snuggling.

The yelling alerted those who had not sensed the buildup of ki, and Ranma told them to, "Stand back, now!"

"Kijin-Gun Dai Ranbu!" The volley of vacuum blades was intercepted by Ranma's own as Shampoo and Kasumi helped Nodoka out of the line of fire, before Ryu charged back onto the scene. "Looks like you took more damage from that attack than I did!"

Ranma wiped a bit of blood off of his mouth as he looked down at the 'dirt angel' he had unintentionally made in one side of the crater, before glancing back over to where an uninjured Kasumi fretted on the sidelines, and a grin crept over his features. "...Worth it."

"How long can you keep saying that? You've taken a lot of damage, and you haven't really done anything! Are you really a martial artist?"

"Airen good enough give elder light workout!"

"That depends, how many more moves do ya got ta this style?"

"Just the one really, but I doubt you could do anything about it. It seems like a waste to use it..."

"Ya sure it's that, or are ya just too tired? Ya look pretty wore-out, sure ya don't wanna rest?"

"So, you can get a break, I don't think so!"

"Well, nuthin' else ya can do'll work, yer gonna have ta do somethin' new if ya wanna win this..."

"LIKE HELL!" Ryu charged in with his opening moves, only to find Ranma was no longer in the same place. He turned around quickly when he felt something behind him.

"Ya think I can't see that one coming by now? I thought ya said ya had somethin' new!"

"Really shouldn't, it's too powerful, and I shouldn't need it to deal with the likes of you." Lunging in, he stabbed at Ranma's chest only to see the other boy literally bend over backwards to dodge the blow! Before he realized it, his arm had been caught by the quickly rising legs as Ranma continued the backwards cartwheel, and the young man found himself airborne, unable to control his direction. Using his rope, he managed to snag the branch of a tree, swinging to safety, and land ready to let his rope fly once again!

As he was about to, let his 'Golden Threads' fly when a pink blur passed before his eyes, and he found his hands empty. All he heard was the 'whooshing' sound of a petite girl on rollerblades passing by, shouting something he did not entirely understand, "Cordell! My sweet Cordell, where have you been, I shall never let you go again!"

"What do ya know, fer once, that menace was useful!" Ranma chuckled at the misfortune of his opponent, hoping he did not need that cheap rope trick for his 'final move'. "That wasn't th' counter I planned, but why look a gift-horse in the mouth?"

"Hey! Come back here with that!" Ryu started to run after the thief, before realizing he was still in another fight. "Kuso!"

"Leavin' so soon?" Ranma was just glad she had not targeted him!

Not wanting to forfeit the fight, Ryu sighed at the loss of his only rope, and silently vowed to find the kleptomaniac at another date. Looking up, he saw Ranma counting off on his fingers.

"That seems to be about it, ya got th' variations on that ranged attack, an' that's about it, there really don't seem ta be much ta this style ya stole, a few good moves, but that's about it. So, unless ya got somethin' else, I think we're done here..."

"You haven't beaten me yet!" Ryu's aura started to build along with his frustration and rage.

"You are right, I ain't paid ya back fer tyin' up Kasumi-san an' Mom-..." Ranma's aura flared up as he stalked forward, cracking his knuckles.

"Saidaikyuu Kijin Raishuu Dan!" Ryu wildly flung vacuum blades in every direction, not wanting to give the other boy any way to dodge!

Ranma saw the attack starting, and tried to jump back as he fired off a large portion of his scant remaining ki into the ground in front of him. The resulting explosion caused dirt and rocks to fill the air in front of him, dispersing much of the destructive force from the massive attack. Knowing that his family and friends were behind him, Ranma braced himself to take the rest of the impact, in hopes that it would not hit anyone behind him. Unfortunately, he was only able to block so many of them, and it pained him to see Shampoo jump up to intercept the rest. As his body hit the ground, he was relieved to see the ki blast from her hands manage to prevent her from getting hurt.

Ignoring the women, and feeling proud of his victory, Ryu walked over, trying to decide how he should begin gloating, eager to study the long sought after scroll containing the Umisenken. The chuckle almost caught in his throat when he saw Ranma flip to the side and manage to land on his feet, even if he did look thrashed and his clothing appeared as though it had gone through a shredder. "How, can you still move?"

"That was a bit reckless, don't ya think?"

"Well, you were the one who wanted to see the final attack!"

"That's a pretty indiscriminate attack fer a man ta man fight!"

"Don't ask me, your dad designed it! Now, are you going to give up, or do I have to finish you off in front of your mother and girlfriends?"

"Like I'd let that happen..."

Ryu looked down as the other young man slowly got to his feet, and his footing appeared rather unsteady. "What are you going to do about it? I haven't seen anything from you that shows you have much talent for fighting, and you can barely even stand up straight!" Ryu threw his hands up in frustration. "If you can't show me the Umisenken, then you just aren't worth any more time!" As he started to turn to follow the trail of the girl on skates, Ranma caught his attention.

"I can't show ya what I ain't never heard a', but there is one thing new that I can show you."

"Oh, and what is that?" Ryu turned back and was surprised by what he saw ...and heard.

Ranma was already charging at him with a shout. "Now it's MY TURN!" He had never been on the receiving end of his opening moves, and he had to admit, he didn't like it. Not being able to dodge, he felt rather cheated, and Ranma followed up with some sort of spinning uppercut, not giving him time to recover. "Shoryuken!" Ryu then spun in the air, arced overhead, and came down as he felt the pain of being kicked repeatedly, keeping him airborne.

"That one 'Spinning Bird Kick', is one Shampoo favorite!"

Watching Ranma follow through with a spinning back knuckle, before catching Ryu with his foot, and slamming him into the ground, Kasumi once again felt a strange combination of both pride in Ranma using the moves she had helped him to learn, and the horror of watching people getting hurt, in part because of her intervention. It was one of the hardest things she had ever had to do, and she tried to distract herself by mentally adding up their stock of bandages and salve.

Ranma waited for Ryu to stagger to his feet when suddenly he appeared distracted for a moment. "Hey, look! It's a hundred yen coin!"

"Oh, right, like I'd fall for that trick! I've trained too long and hard to be- DOOOF!" Before he was able to complete his thought, he was knocked out of the way by a medium sized panda wielding a large wooden sign reading 'MINE!' in very bold kana!

"Not everything's about YOU." Ranma watched as Ryu was bowled into the nearest tree. "Oh, hey Pops, nice a' ya ta finally be helpful 'bout this mess ya made ...but ya should know better than ta interrupt a man ta man fight!" Picking up the dropped sign, he bashed the Panda's skull, knocking the thing out cold, as it frantically searched the ground for a nonexistent coin! "Kind a' wish that nutjob didn't run though, that rope'd be handy right now..."

"Shampoo want help, but stupid Mousse no much bother while stay with Ranma, no have chains... Is so sorry, Airen!"

Relief crosses Ranma's features, happy to hear that his friend was not being harassed, before looking confused for a moment... "Um, wait ...chains? Why do... what?"

"Is rope at house! Want Shampoo go get?" As the vivacious vixen jumped to her feet, waiting for the word to run, she was stopped by Kasumi.

"Well, I do have this silk scarf, you could twist it into a rope, even though it is very soft and smooth, it has a high tensile strength..."

Ranma had not seen from where she pulled that scarf, and was having trouble conceiving where she could have been storing such a long garment, or why she would need anything like it! He was about to voice his confusion on the matter, when his mother had grabbed everyone's attention by asking a question.

"Genma-san, is that you?"

"How...?"

"I'd know that 'posture' anywhere." Nodding toward the prone panda, her eyes lingered on the way its paws still seemed to search for valuables, even though he was unconscious. "Did I hear you correctly, did you say that you were going to tie up your father?"

"Um, well, that is I, I mean, we gotta-..."

"That is not something you should be doing! ...That is MY responsibility!"

Ranma wasn't sure what to say to that, he was already having a hard time trying to piece together everything that had happened, when his mother started to move faster than his mind was willing to process at that moment, and before he knew it, the panda was bound, head to toe, in black leather, complete with a red ball-gag in its mouth! Noticing that he was not alone when his face his the floor at the sight, did make him feel slightly better. He had many questions, and he was not sure how many of them he wanted answered, but he did know one that was unlikely to wait much longer...

Ryu staggered to his feet, and had to do a double-take when he saw immobile mammal snoozing away, yet looking a trapped, masochistic rat. He wanted to protest being attacked by someone else during a one on one fight, however he was afraid someone might try to explain what was happening, and he did NOT want THAT!

"Hey, sorry, I expected ya ta dodge, if ya need ta rest a second er somethin'..."

"Why, are you trying to get a longer rest for yourself? Let's end this!" Ryu's hands began to glow as he rooted himself. The instant before he unleashed his devastating barrage of vacuum blades, his opponent vanished and he herd something behind him.

"Kachuu Tenshin Amaguri Ken!"

He tried to turn the moment he noticed, but he was far too slow, and the hundreds of blows he took to his unguarded area were more than he could handle in his weakened state. Visions of his dojo falling down around him, replayed in his mind as he lost consciousness, guaranteeing that he would not be having pleasant dreams.

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Ryu awoke to find he was no longer in the dilapidated park, but rather back in the Saotome home, staring at the hole he had made in the wall, as he lay on the couch. The next thing he noticed was that he was not alone.

"Ranma-kun, your friend seems to be awakening!"

"I'm not-!" The young man's outburst was interrupted by the muffled voices coming from another room.

The beautiful woman looked embarrassed by the unseemly argument, and tried to call attention away from the distraction. "Would you like some tea?"

Ryu simultaneously tried to focus on what was being said, while pretending he had heard nothing. "How did I get here? Why would you...? What's going on?"

"I am offering you tea, would you like some?"

"...Yes, thank you." Despite his intentions, Ryu found himself unable to refuse the kind woman, even if he was feeling thirsty... He felt bad enough about losing his opportunity to fulfill his life's goal, he certainly had no desire to owe them a debt as well! "Though, I really ought to be go-..."

As Kasumi turned back toward the younger boy, she waited for him to fall back into his seat before handing him the teacup with a smile. "Are you feeling better now?"

"Physically ...I'm fine."

"That is good! Ranma woke up a little while ago, so I was beginning to worry..."

"I'm fine! Really! I ...just haven't slept on anything soft in a while..."

"Oh my, do you need a place to stay until we-...?"

"NO! In fact, I really need to get-..."

"Yo! Ya feel like talkin' now?" Ranma accepted the cup of tea as he sat next to Kasumi.

"Not really... I already lost everything, I just want to be alone..." Looking around, he tried to plot a path to the exit, debating on heading for the door, or simply jumping through the hole in the wall. Before he was able to move, they were joined by another girl, who had a rather strange hair color, whom he vaguely remembered had been with the others in the park.

"Warriors sleep through evening meal, so Shampoo make snacks!" That caused him to realize that it WAS rather dark outside...

"I-..." Ryu wanted to decline, but the moment the aroma hit his nostrils, his growling stomach answered for him. He had not eaten in a couple of days anyway, nor could he remember the last time he had been able to eat food that smelled that good!

His desire to leave and not further be a burden, nor even watching Ranma's tale manners, could diminish his desire, and soon found himself consuming far more than he thought possible. It had taken them mere moments to devour every last morsel!

"Haha! It's a good thing Pops ain't out here, er ya would a' had ta eat faster than that!"

"Airen mother keep tied up now, is too too good! Is proper for wife keep bad husband on tight leash!"

Ranma saw a flash in his mind of himself tied up, with a dominating Shampoo posed over him, and it suddenly made him nervous about his potential future, if a certain Chinese warrior had her way.

"Ranma no need worry ...if keep make sure Shampoo too too happy!"

Ryu was confused by the mix of pity and jealousy that he felt at that moment, however, he did not allow that to deter him. "Look, um, thanks for the food, it was very good, but I-..."

"Shampoo thank, always try best, when Airen is eating..."

"Uh, yeah, it was really good Shampoo, thanks." All of the time he had spent with Kasumi of late, had helped him to realize that he had been rude by not thanking her, and felt a bit sheepish because of it.

After their ears recovered from the ensuing squeal of delight, they heard that Shampoo was speaking. "No need thank, Shampoo do ANY-thing for Airen!"

"Um, yeah, well, uh, ya ain't 'gotta' do nuthin' ...ya know?"

"Shampoo WANT do!"

Not wanting to watch the teens flirting, once again, Ryu tried to find an escape route. "Yes, well, since you are obviously busy here, I will be leaving... Thank you for the meal."

Ranma struggled to break free of the light 'glomp', but failed to manage, causing his demands to lose much of their impact. "Ya ain't goin' nowhere, Bub!"

"It does not seem as though you in a position to stop me."

With Shampoo still attached, Ranma was suddenly between Ryu and the door. "Look, I still don't get what ya was tryin' ta accomplish here, er why ya thought kidnappin' and tryin' ta hurt my family was gonna get ya our help. I don't mind th' workout, but-..."

"It's not like it matters now, I lost, it's over... and I didn't hurt anyone!" The stares he received made him instantly uncomfortable. "...Except you!" Thinking back on his reasons touched a sore spot in his heart, which had been hardened by a life of misfortune. It had been difficult enough growing up with his poor father, but he had felt fulfilled in that life, at least they had each other. Though, after becoming a homeless orphan everything went from hard to absolutely dreadful. He had gathered what he could, including the scroll his father had given him, and set out on his own, doing whatever was necessary to survive, always hoping that one day, once he had gotten the other scroll, he would be able to return and rebuild...

"Yeah, right... Like ya could hurt me!"

"Really no is hurt? No even here?" As Shampoo's finger lightly touched Ranma's rib, he cringed, and almost teared up for a moment.

"Nope, I feel just fine!" The obvious strain on his face was telling, and Shampoo both felt sorry for her husband, as well as giggling at his 'manly pride'.

Ryu felt somewhat vindicated, and moved to pass, smiling as he wondered if he would have to dive for the hole in the wall after all... "Heh! Now that THAT is settled..."

"I told ya, 'ya ain't leavin' yet'! What's yer hurry anyway? Ya got someplace ta be?"

"Why would I want to stick around here, and watch ya make 'kissy face' with all of these girls, when I could be out wallowing in my misery!"

"Boy make point! Airen be good, only make kissing with Shampoo!"

Doing his best, as usual, to ignore the feelings that the curvy girl's affection inspired in him, Ranma tried to focus on the matter at hand. "Hey, ya don't really seem like too bad a guy, not too smart maybe, but ya didn't hurt Kasumi-san er Mom, though ya almost did during the fight, so I guess I don't mind if ya keep using that style if yer more careful, but if yer gonna run yer own dojo, then ya need ta go back ta teachin' yer own style. That's only fair, right?"

Ryu would have bristled at having his intelligence questioned by someone who sounded as if they barely understood their own language, however the reality of his loss was still sinking in, and thus he barely registered the insult, letting it slide. "Well, it's not as if I have a dojo to run anyway, so I guess-."

"What? Didn't ya hear? We're gonna help ya rebuild it, an' Kasumi-san already offered ta pay fer th' materials. It shouldn't take long, we got a lot a practice fixin' up a broken dojo, believe me! From how long it's been, an' how bad a' shape ya said it was in, probably would a' had ta rebuild it by now anyway, right?"

"HUH?! You're doing WHAT?"

"From what you said about the size, it sounds as though it would cost less than a month's worth of repairs when we lived with Father. I am actually surprised, this is the first time we have had to fix this house so far..."

"Well, I know it ain't th' same as using some special 'dojo building art', if there even is such a thing, but I ain't got anything like that, what I DO got, is th' same way we all got, and th' tools here ta do it!"

"OH MY! That was very 'mature' thing for you to say, Ranma-kun!" The boy might have his outbursts, but considering his upbringing, she could not deny that he also had his better moments. He still had a ways to go, but she was pleased that he typically tried to do the responsible thing, it was an admirable quality, and she could see the improvement, especially in the last few months.

His blush faded as quickly as it came. "Shampoo agreed ta help, an' so we got th' three a' us, an' Mom an' Kasumi-san makin' us snacks, th' work should go fast! What do ya say?"

"What? Why would you do such a thing? Especially after..." Ryu's eyes were unconsciously drawn to the gaping hole in the wall.

"Ya can thank Kasumi-san, who felt sorry fer ya, th' way ya acted at first, I'd a' let ya do it yerself!"

"RANMA-KUN!"

"Sah-wee!"

Seeing the somewhat foolish face he was making as he halfheartedly apologized, diffused any further scolding on her part, as she could never be upset at that face.

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Nabiki could not decide what she was going to do, it had been a stroke of luck to happen upon Ranma fighting with someone strong in the park, and she was glad to have been able to follow them to their new home, she had been trying to find them for a while, though she was not certain it was the best time to contact them, so she made a few mental notes, and left, planning to return before long. She had been hoping to find a good time to approach her sister to ask for a loan, which would go a long way toward helping her current problems... Without having access to her favorite model's dirty secrets, her income had taken a huge hit, and her expenses were quickly climbing with her struggles in finding new living arrangements... She could not keep living in the school forever, and she certainly did not want to take over the failing secondary school commissary! Even if she was positive that SHE could turn it around, unlike a certain old man, that was NOT a career path of choice for her, she had far loftier goals!

She never thought she would miss living around that walking incarnation of chaos, but she had to admit, the anarchy was profitable! Rumor had it that her best paying customer would be returning to school soon, but without a new supply of photos of his many 'loves', there would only be so much she could do even with that opportunity. She had taken a gamble when she had invested a portion of her savings on those cameras, and unfortunately it had not paid off, which had left her in dire straits, unable to afford anywhere she was willing to stay. Things had gotten so bad of late, that she was honestly considering taking her 'worst case scenario' option, getting ...A JOB! The horror!

The most surprising part of it was to learn that her older sister was actually staying with Ranma and Shampoo! The last thing she had heard was that he had been staying with Hinako-sensei, and who was that other woman? Did Ranma gain yet another suitor? A slightly older one at that! She knew that boy could work fast, and never seemed to like the girls his own age, but why did she look so familiar? She really needed to get back into the loop if she wanted to get back on top of her game!

Nabiki might not have spent much time studying the martial arts, however she never let a useful skill slip by, and masking her presence came in very handy in her life. She might not be as capable as some, but she had a much more subtle ki signature to hide, and using the crowd to keep her from being noticed was easy enough. Unfortunately, now that they had returned to their home, it would be considerably more difficult to remain unnoticed, especially if she wanted to be close enough to hear what they were discussing, and watching through the hole in the wall from across the street was only getting her so far.

Caution warred with curiosity, as she slowly inched forward, just hoping they would raise their voices, similar to his arguments with Akane, which was the thing she had always liked best about their relationship, it was easy to make a profit! Now there were two new people, and she knew almost nothing about either of them!

What she did know, was that the boy was strong enough to give Ranma a good run, meaning he was probably unstable like the rest of them, and was quite destructive. The woman, on the other hand, did not strike Nabiki as the 'fighting' type. She was beautiful, of an indeterminate age, and still struck Nabiki with sense of the familiar. She assumed it was another woman added to Ranma's 'unwanted harem', that was generally the way things worked, and the most likely, however her instincts were telling her not to jump the gun... She tended to trust her instincts, such as when they told her to back out of the marriage with Ranma in the first place, and she thanked them once again, seeing how the competition continued to grow in unpredictable ways... Having direct control over him was more profitable, but the baggage was far more trouble than it was worth ...even if she did occasionally remember the feeling of being held by him during her nights alone.

She might have a strong disdain for dumb jocks like Ranma, but even she had to admit, that she understood what so many women saw in him... It was just that she could not respect anyone that gullible, it lowered them from the level of an equal, to that of just another easy mark, and she could not respect herself if she was with someone like that, at least not in a serious relationship.

She quickly shook the fantasy of her dominating him in a one-night-stand, which lasted several nights, and brought her attention back to the matter at hand, and she wondered how much closer she could sneak, before someone inside noticed her...

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"I just need to give the location of your dojo to the delivery people, and they will drop off the materials, which we can do in the morning. Now, the most important thing to consider is, until you have an income from this dojo, do you have a way to support yourself?" Kasumi suddenly felt an all too familiar presence, one she had not felt in a while. Turning toward the gaping hole in their wall, she asked a question that surprised everyone present. "Would you like some tea, Nabiki-chan?"

"WHAT?" Ranma mentally kicked himself for being that inattentive as he heard the middle Tendo daughter meekly respond...

"Hai..." Nabiki was just as disappointed in herself, letting her control laps at the thought of an opportunity to make money. It just went to show how much she was slipping these days. She figured she had two options, she could have run away, but it seemed better to just go inside and get the real scoop.

Not wanting to give the 'mercenary' a further chance to snoop, Shampoo ran down to show her the way to their den, making sure that she did not have time to dawdle.

"So, you're living here too, huh?"

"Is true." Shampoo could not help the grin that quickly formed, though she managed to resist dancing in giddy excitement.

"Bet you're enjoying that, living with Ranma, and just my older sister to watch over you...?"

"Is true is good, but no is alone..." Always one to wear her emotions on her proverbial sleeves, Shampoo's mood darkened, though not as much as Nabiki would have expected, all things considered.

"Like that other woman, a new fiancee perhaps?"

"Other woman no is new, you know this. Pancake-Girl be here long time." Shampoo did have to wonder how late her main rival would be staying out that night...

"What? No, I mean-..." Nabiki broke off her inquiries at she found they were entering the room where the others were staring at them.

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Ukyo was still having trouble getting the sight of Akane, in her blue curtain-dress, running away earlier that evening, she had absolutely no idea what was happening, not having known about Akane's old crush, and still thinking the girl was trying to break into the clinic. In her mind, it was a stranger sight than looking in the mirror, and seeing her Kasumi costume looking back at her, it just seemed so ...bizarre.

"Kuonji-san, Kuonji-san?"

"Huh? Sorry Sensei, Ah was jus' distracted fer a minute. So, whacha think?"

"Well, that IS the longest we have gone before I have had to ...'calm' our friend."

"There's that! Ya think we're gonna be ready anytime soon?"

"Anything is possible ...I suppose."

"It's gonna be another long night..."

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"No, not that one, there was someone else earlier, ne? Slightly older than Onee-chan maybe..."

"What? Oh, Mom's back there... with Pops..." Ranma's face blushed when he remembered the way his father was bound and gagged, maybe his father had good reasons to stay away... He did not think he wanted to know.

"Your ...MOM?" Nabiki blanched, unable to believe that woman was not only old enough to be the mother of a teen, but more than that, married to GENMA of all people! "THAT'S who that was?"

"Yeah, I guess, I mean that's what they tell me..."

"Can you not tell, Nabiki-chan? I think that they could not look any more like each other ...especially with the curse."

"Curse?" Ryu wondered just how foolish these people were, though they did treat that panda rather strangely, so perhaps he was in over his head... He silently wondered just what he had gotten himself into.

Nabiki suddenly realized why the older woman looked so familiar, and then thought again about the woman's apparent age... "Wait, okay, so they are clearly related, but 'mother'? Cousin, or something I would believe, but..."

"Just go show, Airen make too too strong babies! Elder say, look at boy mother, show if make good baby!"

"How do you know they won't end up like Uncle Genma?"

"Husband take after mother in most way what matter! When meet, then see!"

"Sometimes it skips a generation..."

The young female warrior looked terrified for a moment, before quickly recovering, and silently offering prayers to the gods, that their children take after their grandmothers! She may not have ever used the prayer before, but she had heard enough of her fellow villagers using it that it came to mind instantly and without error.

Nabiki started to snicker, before realizing that she really could not blame the other girl, who would want a child that was like Genma? She might even consider praying as well in that situation... "Speaking of, you said your father is here too now?"

"Not really, but kind a'..."

"What do you mean, 'kind of'?"

"Well, I mean, Pops is here, but ain't living here..."

"Ranma-kun, do you think your parents will get back together now? Wouldn't that be nice?"

"How would I know?"

"Shampoo only hear Mother, only yelling, no think Panda able talking..." Whether that was due to being a panda, being gagged, or some combination of the two, she did not want to wager a guess...

"Well, that doesn't mean anything, they could still be ...um..." Ryu was not sure why he had felt the need to interject, and the looks he was receiving, especially from this new girl, made him even less certain.

This reminder of the new fellow's presence caused her curiosity to take a sharp turn, and redirect itself at the unfamiliar entity with a critical eye. "So, who, exactly, are you, and what is your relation to the family?"

Ryu was not sure he cared for the predatory look on this newcomer's features, and despite not sensing much ki from her, she was making him quite uncomfortable, a feeling with which he had little experience... "Who, me? I'm nobody!"

"Then why are you here? Do you live here now too?"

Ryu might have been taken aback, yet he was not so overwhelmed that he let the obvious slip passed him! "I don't, know why! What about YOU? Do YOU live here?" He knew the answer, it was obvious, or she would not be asking the question, but he knew a good chance to turn the tables when he saw one.

"Um, well, not exactly..." Nabiki felt a moment of jealousy, thinking about Ranma and the others living in such a nice house, while she could not find anything in her price range! ...At least not from anyone who would rent to a high school student. The one who HAD been willing ...well, she did not want to think about that! Perhaps she could see if they had a spare room, this might be just what she needed! "...at least not yet. What do you say Onee-chan?"

"I would say that 'this is Ranma-kun's home, and that is who you will need to ask ...politely'."

"WHAT?" Nabiki was surprised to say the least, how could Ranma be the owner of the house? She knew perfectly well that the boy had no money, in fact, she knew his financial situation better than almost anyone! "How?"

"Come now, Nabiki-chan, is that really important right now?"

"YES! Yes it is! It was YOU, wasn't it?"

For her part, Shampoo was trying to figure out what the Tendo mercenary's goals were, and how much of a problem she would be to her own plans. "Shampoo no tell!" Though, she was not sure why they were keeping it a secret, the idea of knowing something Nabiki did not, was far too juicy of an opportunity to let pass.

The obviousness of the other girl's tone made it clear to Nabiki that she was supposed to be upset about being left out of the loop, and while she was, there was no way she would allow anyone to know they had gotten to her, so she tried to let it slide, knowing she would find out before long. She allowed the saccharine-laced words to just drip off of her tongue, as she shifted her focus toward buttering up the pig-tailed martial artist. "If that's the case, then Ranma-kun... Ranma-kun? Where did you go?"

"That guy left a while ago."

"What? When?"

"About the time you started begging for a place to stay."

"I never-!"

"Yeah, right, as if you could be any more obvious! Try again girlie."

Nabiki did not like this other boy's tone, and temporarily shifted her attention back toward him. People who took that tone with her always paid ...more for her services. "Oh? And who, exactly, are 'you' to say anything?"

Shampoo had wanted to chase after Ranma, however one look into the trusting face of her 'older sister' so soon after the near-kidnapping, and she steeled her resolve to stay by Kasumi's side, at least as long as said 'kidnapper' was still present! She slowly scooted her way closer, her protective instincts on full alert, just waiting to see if anyone tried anything!

"Well, that is an interesting story ...Ryu-kun, was it? I believe I can be of service to you."

"Oh? Isn't that nice." Kasumi smiled at the pair.

"No need, my dream of rebuilding my father's dojo will soon be realized, what more would I need from you?"

"Oh, I don't know, money for food, utilities, taxes (now that your property is worth something), equipment, and anything else you might need until you can start getting enough regular students... You know, just a thought."

"Um, well I never thought of that..."

"Vagabonds rarely do, and I already have a few ideas on how you can start to earn that income, instead of just being a beggar!"

Shampoo recognized that look in Nabiki's eye, and the trouble it meant for her current target! She considered warning the taller lad about maintaining a cautious attitude in any dealings with the middle Tendo daughter, but then she also weighed it against the trouble he caused her 'family' that day, so decided to keep her own counsel.

"Why don't you come with me, and we can discuss some of your options, then you can come back here in the morning so you can get to work..." With that, she led the bewildered boy out of the house. Nabiki was proud of herself, happy that she felt 'on top of her game' once again, and managed to not have to ask for another loan from her sister! She could always keep that as a backup plan, in the meantime, she might have just found her new 'cash cow'. He might not turn into a sexy girl, but he was not bad looking, and from what she saw earlier, he might be more ...morally flexible than Ranma, she would have to test the waters, somewhere her sister would not be able to judge her suggestions.

Watching the pair leave, Shampoo smiled inwardly, glad to have two of her 'obstacles' out of the way. "Onee-chan is okay now?"

"Of course, Shampoo-chan! Why wouldn't I be?"

"Is good. Shampoo go looky for Ranma now, yell if need!" Turning to hop out through the hole in the wall, she was surprised to feel the hand upon her shoulder.

"Please, wait."

"Onee-chan is needing Shampoo?"

"It is just that ...I would like to go with you ...to look for Ranma."

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"So, if you will just sign here, here, here, and again here. Thank you, and welcome to TenCo! Your first assignment is to help me collect a few debts..."

"Um, so wait, you mean this is...?"

"Your new part time job, yes, and that is your first task. Look, beggars can't be choosers, we all have start somewhere, and have to get our hands dirty upon occasion. There will likely be other, more entertaining opportunities later, however I want to see how you do with some of the 'easy' jobs before I start risking more resources. We can take care of this now, or wait until morning."

"Fine. Let's get it over with!"

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Kasumi's eyes followed her friend as they searched the yard, and upon noticing that her eyes had been lingering longer than was necessary to simply follow her, the young woman blushed as if she were just over half her age. "Shampoo-chan?"

"Hai, Onee-chan!"

She desperately tried to find something to distract herself from the unusual feelings being raised by visions dancing before her eyes. "You made a dessert the other day, these little-..."

"OH, is Sesame Seed Ball? Is too too good!"

"Yes, they were lovely, would you mind terribly if-..."

"HAIIIII! Shampoo show! Is no too hard, trick is always keep ball turn, so cook even!" The young warrior's face drooped slightly as she hesitated... "Was last thing Mother teach Shampoo before..." The warm feeling of the arms that enveloped her at that moment was far to reminiscent of the cherished memory and long forgotten tears welled up behind her crimson eyes.

"Oh my! I am SO sorry, Shampoo-chan, I did not mean-..."

Trying to dry her eyes, she looked up into the caring face, and for a split second, saw her mother looking down at her with an unquestioning love that normally only a parent could display. "AH! ...Is okay... Shampoo have old memory. Onee-chan make too too good mother!"

Taking it as the complement it had been intended, the elder Tendo blushed. "Thank you, Shampoo-chan, I did have a lot of practice, and I suppose anything is possible."

"Is sure! Shampoo have question too, is okay?"

"Of course! You can always come to me if you need something!"

"In village is tradition, when marry choose sister as second. If something happen then help care for family what leave behind. Usually is family, but Shampoo real sisters no is ready, and want ask..." She swallowed hard, allowing the look in the other woman's eyes to steel her nerves. "If be Shampoo children Jiao Mu ...mean 'kyoubu', is word?"

"I believe you mean 'daibo'... Oh my! You mean you want me to be the godmother of your children? I-, of course, I would be honored!"

Shampoo was taken off guard by the glomp she received, not only was she was far more accustomed to being on the giving end, but she was also surprised by how strong the pleasant young woman could be. "Onee-chan training is pay off, yes?"

"Not like you, you are just amazing!"

"No is talk about Shampoo, but want thank. We is talk about Kasumi-nee-chan, let Shampoo see what working with, please?"

Embarrassed to say that she was trying to copy their own training, she thought back to the last technique that Ranma had shown her... "Well, we are mostly working on avoiding combat."

Shampoo nodded enthusiastically. "Is good."

Kasumi stepped back, allowing her recent conditioning to take over as she fell back into a defensive posture. "If you would, throw a punch toward me, please."

Having no intention of landing said punch, Shampoo nodded as she hopped over, bowing before she lightly threw a slow punch near her friend's midsection.

Kasumi allowed her senses to reach out as she felt the incoming weight. Her hand grabbed the shorter girl's wrist, her thumb found its mark, hitting the pressure point she sought and twisting as she had been taught. As she turned, a surprised Shampoo found herself flying through the air, before she twisted her body and landing.

A smiling Shampoo shook her arm as the feeling returned to her fingers. "That pressure point only work while hold, but is good for throw." Suddenly, a thought occurred to the young woman which brought a grin back to her face. "Shampoo teach more! Maybe sleep point, help keep from fight."

"Ranma-kun had considered it, but said that if I were to learn that one, then I might try to use it, instead of attempting to escape I may try to get closer, which would only put me into further harm's way ...and our goal was to keep me away from danger."

"That sound like Husband, is good heart, but sometimes too too sexy pig! Shampoo teach if want!"

Hesitating for a moment, she considered the idea, before self-doubt exerted itself, overcoming her curiosity. "Oh my, no. I happen to agree, escape is for the best."

"No think you is best judge of when yes and no use? Grandmother say, 'better know, then no know', but if no want, then Shampoo teach other thing. For starting, try meditate, hear Onee-chan is good at this, yes?"

Kasumi blushed as she dusted off a place to assume a meditative posture. "Oh, I don't know about that..."

"Shampoo want Onee-chan think about Ranma, how feel, how make feel. Remember feeling, reach out, search for feeling, find feeling. Airen close, can Onee-chan find?"

Thinking about how Ranma 'felt' caused her blush to deepen, and it took her much longer to find her center. She thought about not only how he felt to her, but also how she felt when he had touched her, that is, until she realized that was not what Shampoo had in mind... Ranma had explained ki signatures to her and while she was not familiar with thinking in those terms, it was something she had instinctively been doing most of her life. The hardest part for her was to relax, and allow her senses to do what they wanted to do, rather than to try and force herself. Normally, this was something that came very naturally to the young woman, however each time she thought she could sense Ranma's familiar 'aura', her face would warm, and her heart would skip a beat, even simply picturing his handsome face was causing her concentration to falter.

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Ranma was still not accepting the idea of Kasumi giving him something like a house, and had still been under the assumption that she had already transferred ownership back to herself! Needless to say, he certainly did not want to be responsible for allowing Nabiki to stay with them of all people!

There was another problem, as if he did not have enough of them in his life, that he should have known better than to consider 'handled'. Shaking his head, he inwardly lamented many elements of his life, he felt fairly certain that Jusenkyo was not the only Chinese curse affecting him, something about 'living in interesting times' came to mind. His head drooped into his hands as he tried to work out his most recent potential problem, and what she might try.

Although, before he managed to reach any conclusions, he started hearing voices getting closer. "Yes, definitely up there."

"Yes! Is do too too good! We go up now, yes?"

"Certainly, I will go get the ladder..."

"Ladder? No learn jump yet?"

"Yes, well, no, not yet, but actually there IS a reason..."

'Huh?' Ranma did not remember any particular 'reason', only that Kasumi had said that she was not yet ready.

"Can tell Shampoo, yes?"

"Um ...no. I don't think that I can."

"Is okay, Shampoo carry, but we is talking later."

Despite expecting it, seeing Kasumi being held by the shorter girl sent a strange mix of emotions though him before he decided that he would try again to show her how to use her ki to boost her physical abilities, more than simply speed and shielding. That is assuming something does not strangely interrupt them again... Funny how that sort of thing always seemed to happen.

"Ranma-kun! There you are, I was right!"

Our heroine with the heliotrope hued hair looked mildly annoyed even while sporting a smile upon her lips. "Told you!" Pulling her tongue back into her mouth, she turned her attention toward their target, along with twisting her grin into a pout. "Why Ranma run way?" Slowly inching her way closer, the sultry Shampoo batted her eyes and licked her lips. "Ranma want be alone ...with Shampoo?"

"Well, yer half right..."

Seeing his expression, concern poured out of the lanky young woman. "Ranma-kun! Whatever is wrong?"

With the way Kasumi was looking at him, Ranma almost gave a full confession, but managed to mostly keep his mouth shut, he just did not know how to say to her that he would rather not have her sisters living with them, and that if it were up to him, he would just as soon avoid either of them. "Uh... Nuthin' really, just wantin' some fresh air, ya know..."

"Hole in wall no let in enough air?"

"Uh, well, that is, I mean th' air ain't all a' it, ya know..."

"You do like looking at the stars, don't you, Ranma?"

"Well, yeah..." He looked up into the sky again, and felt relaxed again, a bit more at peace with the universe. "Where'd th' others go?"

"Go talk how boy be use to that one, should keep busy for while." Shampoo reached down and started gently tugging on Ranma's hand. "Now Airen come do duty for wife, yes?"

Waving his free hand in front of his face, he tried to back away. "Oi, oi, oi! Shouldn't we wait?" The look in her eyes scared him, not that he would admit it to save his life! Whenever one of those girls got a look like that it meant bad things for him, not only would he start feeling weird, and not in control of himself, but it usually would mean someone would pound him at any moment!

"Aiyaaa?" Shampoo suddenly remembered the agreement with Ukyo and was confused, did Ranma know about the deal they had made to wait for her to give up on trying to train that silly doctor?

"That is an excellent point, why don't we go and ready the bath then everyone?"

Seeing Ranma nodding enthusiastically, Shampoo excitedly squealed.

"Wait, no, I mean..." Ranma's head fell as he realized what he had just agreed to do. He was so desperate for an escape, he would have taken almost anything, and coming from Kasumi, it just had seemed so reasonable! It was a testament to his adaptability that he started getting used to the mixed bathing everyone had been insisting upon since soon after this chapter in his life had started, particularly if one considered how deeply that Pavlovian response had been ingrained into him. "Oh fine, whatever..."

Not wanting to let go of Ranma's hand, she begrudgingly made her decision. "Onee-chan want Shampoo carry back down?"

Kasumi looked at her feet and blushed, while almost imperceptibly shaking her head.

The other woman's shy hesitation improved her mood, and was about to resume pulling on Ranma's arm when she heard her speak.

"Ranma-kun, would you mind helping me down?" Kasumi's blush intensified as she practically whispered the question. She wanted to compare her memories of Ranma carrying her to the real thing, and to the way it felt with Shampoo. Being held by Shampoo felt very nice, and she felt warm and safe, yet it did not match the way she remembered feeling when Ranma had done it. Her memories could be tainted by the excitement of the moment, or become distorted with time, and so this was absolutely critical to test that! Yes, that was it, exactly! Right?

Her eyes being closed, she was not entirely prepared to be lifted into those strong arms at that moment, let alone expecting the thrill that rushed through her at that moment. "Oh my..."

Noticing her tensing up, Ranma instantly assumed that he had done something wrong. "I'm sorry Kasumi-san! Did I hurt ya? Want me ta put ya down?"

"NO! Not THAT! ANYTHING but that!"

Ranma could not believe the simultaneous impression of Shampoo's glomp while stiffening in his arms. "Ya sure ya okay, Kasumi-san?"

"I'm fine, thank you! Please, be gentle." Kasumi buried her face in his chest so they would not see how much brighter her face became...

Ranma and Shampoo exchanged a look between them, thinking they had figured out what was bothering their 'older sister'.

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Shampoo watched Kasumi stumble as she entered the furo to start running the water, and turned to Ranma, hoping to watch him undressing, something she enjoyed no matter how many times she saw it. "Think so too?"

Ranma steeled himself, and looked her in the eyes as he started to undo his shirt's fasteners. "Yeah, think so. Always been uncomfortable any time we've been up high."

"Shampoo, hear warrior with that problem, is too too sad." She was out of her dress in one quick motion, ready to grab Ranma's arm.

"Maybe some kind a' special training?"

"Some get bit better with time, but most always have problem." She stopped even pretending to not stare as Ranma stood there in his boxers, tossing his pants into the laundry.

Ranma really started to feel uncomfortable, he could never relax in these situations, his paranoia kicking into overdrive as his head started to dart around the room. "Maybe ya could ask th' old ghoul, if anyone'd know anything..."

"Okay, Shampoo ask! Ranma ask doctor?"

"Oh no, can't talk ta that guy about Kasumi-san! Goes ta pieces if ya even try."

"No need say for Onee-chan, no hurt to ask, yes?" Shampoo was starting to get impatient, if he did not remove his boxers soon, she would take matters into her own hands!

"Yeah, I guess."

Tired of waiting, Shampoo jumped forward, pulling his boxers down to his ankles. Ranma had not expected the sudden 'attack', and as he tried to back up, his feet were entangled, causing him to fall backwards, pulling the young woman with him. While she had been eager to see him denuded, she had not intended to end up planting a kiss in his lap, not that she was complaining.

"Oh my!" Kasumi was shocked by what she saw as she returned to tell them the bath water was ready.

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Nabiki was in the first good mood she had been able to enjoy in quite some time, and it was all thanks to her new 'assistant'. They had been able to collect some money that had been owed her by a few troublesome clients, saving her from using any other leverage that would cause other complications, and now she had the capital to make some promising investments, that is, depending on her new talent. Time to find out exactly how her new resource could prove useful, and what he was willing to do to make a quick fist full of yen. "Well, I suppose that went well enough. So, hungry?"

Before Ryu was able to mutter out some negative response, his stomach answered for him, growling loud enough for someone on the other side of the street to look over at them to see what made the noise. He grimaced in both annoyance and embarrassment at the timing.

"Bwahaha! I guess that answers that question! Let's go, there's a noodle cart not far from here."

"Fine..."

Not wanting to talk where anyone else could hear them, she got their food to go, and walked to an empty part of the park. Tossing him the container with his order, she pulled her chopsticks apart, and dug into her own meal. "If you are planning to reopen your family dojo soon, you need to not only raise capital to pay your bills, but you are also going to need to build up the reputation of your school. The better your reputation, the more you can charge for lessons!"

Ryu did not like someone telling him what to do, and he started to instinctually object as he absorbed her words. "I- ...never thought of that, actually."

"That's where I come in." Nabiki was unsurprised, in her experience, vagabonds like the Saotomes, rarely knew the first thing about managing money. "At least you are able to admit when you are lacking."

"HEY!"

"'Hey' nothing, don't make me take back the respect I had for you! No one is perfect, we all need help with some things, and I make it my business getting people what they need. Being able to admit your weaknesses is the first step in overcoming them, and it will make it much easier for me to help you. I thought you were in a hurry..."

Few liked to admit their own faults, especially to a stranger, however Ryu had to begrudgingly admit to himself that this one made a good point. "Fine. What do you want to know?"

"Let's start at the beginning." Nabiki listened to him as he related his life story and they ate their udon, and after hearing some of the things he had done to reach his goal, such as impersonating Ranma, made her think he might be up for some of her more profitable ideas. "You really tried to impersonate Saotome-kun? That's rich!"

"Yeah, whatever... So, that's my life, I am not going to apologize for it, especially not to you!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, like I care? I'm not here to judge, I am here to help you make a lot of money!"

"And what's your angle?"

"A cut of course! And since I am investing my money to make it happen, it will be a sizable cut in some cases, but I am sure you will be happy with the results."

"All right, so what do you have in mind?"

"A lot, it all depends on what you are willing to do. The quickest way I can think of off the top of my head would be to bet on you winning some fights. Ranma-kun never really wanted to get too involved, so I had to run a betting pool on side fights, but if you are capable and interested, we could take this act to the underground fighting rings, and bet on you to win, we can win more money with less overhead, as well as help spread your name around as a formidable martial artist, which we can later turn into higher fees for your school."

Ryu thought about that, and could not deny the logic. "I guess we can see how it goes..."

"Good, fill these out, then I will make the arrangements and place the bets. When you win, I will give you a cut, if you lose, you WILL make it up to me, so I recommend you NOT lose. Oh, and here's your pay for today." Nabiki handed over a small stack of yen before she mumbled under her breath, "...minus the cost of buying our dinner of course."

"Typical..." People always looked out for their own self interest, he knew this had to be too good to be true. Ryu started to grumble about having to pay for the dinner he had assumed he was being treated to, that was until he saw how much money she had handed him! "I guess it's just too bad it's too late to rent a room that is not 'by the hour'!"

"Huh? 'By the hour'? When I said I would help you, I did not mean like that! Though if you want to spend some of those bills, I DO know some girls ...or boys, if you prefer-..."

"I said 'NOT' by the hour, thank you very much! I have more important things to do, dating girls in not on my radar!"

"So boys then?"

"NO!"

"Hey, nothing wrong with it, if that's what you like, to each their own..."

"But, I don't! I like girls!"

"So, it's just 'me' that you do not like, is that it?" 'Bah! Everyone always wanted the 'Tsundere' or the 'Yamato nadeshiko', this guy's no different...' She was used to it, so the slight prick to her ego was easy to cover.

"NO! ...I mean yes! ...I mean... I think you are not bad, I mean you're pretty, and you helped me, so you can't be all bad, but I don't know you, so I wouldn't really be able to say if I like you or not, you know, we just met and all!"

That caught the Nerima Ice Queen off guard, and delayed her tongue for a moment. He really did NOT know her, no one who did would ever give such a nice response, other than maybe her older sister. "Flattery won't get you anywhere with me, but it will get you a roof, if you want it. Better than sleeping outside, this is Nerima, it could rain anywhere, at any time..."

"You have a place? I thought you were trying to talk your sister into letting you stay with them?"

"I was, I have not had any luck finding a place. I am in high school, and I have no visible means of support, so the only people who were willing to rent to me were perverts! For now, I am staying in an unused part of the school, but I can find you a place to sleep ...if you want it." She figured it would be easier to keep an eye on her new investment, if she kept him close.

"Don't you think it would be strange to find me there, it's not like I am a student, anywhere, let alone there."

"No one ever goes to that part of the school, no need to worry."

"Oh, what the hell, it's not like I have anywhere else to go, and I need to sleep if they really are going to start construction tomorrow, I need to be ready to help!"

'Perfect, got the guy right in the palm of my hand!'

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Bla, bla, next time, "Let's Make a Deal", or "School Sleepover"?


	23. Chapter 23

Sorry about this, it seems as though when I was writing this, I totally spaced this and forgot to include it. Can't believe I missed such an important bit... It should have happened at least a couple of chapters ago. Major funky fail on my part. Oh well, I knew it was not ready to start publishing, but I did it anyway. This was why this chapter was so late, again, sorry.

Guardian ½ - The Missing Scenes

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"Oh, what ah beauteeful mornin'... Oh, what ah beauteeful day...! Me is havin' dah good day, gonna git rid ah dah keiki!" Playing his ukulele, Principal Kuno danced his way down the hallway, singing his impromptu parody. After all of this time, he finally got his hands on something that would solve his worst problem, at least the worst one in his eyes anyway, even if the rest of the world might very well disagree with him.

Standing in the entryway, he continued playing as he awaited his target.

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Ranma set Hinako down before they approached the school. They might be arriving before the majority of the population, but it would not do to have anyone see teacher being carried to school by her student. The closer they got to the school, the more uncomfortable he felt, he was not certain what was happening, but the sense of foreboding was overwhelming.

Noticing the hesitation, Hinako gave him a curious look. "What's wrong, Onii-chan?"

"Don't know, but it prob'ly ain't good."

As they got closer, even Hinako started to sense something was wrong, and started feeling for a coin.

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"Dere yah are, nice and early, yeah!" As they opened the door, the principal stepped out from behind the footlockers. "It's time for de big fun, yeah!"

"What'd ya want, ya loony coconut?"

"No more yah be disruptin' dah school, an' disrespectin' my authority!"

"Ya ain't got no stupid authority."

"I finally got dah proof a' yah breakin' dah rules now, yeah! Dis one not only be breakin' dah school rules, but dah law too! Dey no be likin' when yah send out dah pictures showin' off yah big boy, yeah!" Suddenly, he made his ukulele vanish, and it was replaced with a small photograph. "Here yah go, check!"

"Urk!" Before anyone could blink, the photo vanished and confetti appeared to rain down upon them as Ranma's look of horror was replaced by a slight grin.

"Mehehahaha! Dat okay, me already be havin' dem many copies me did!"

"Why'd do that? Yer just a pervert!"

"Yes, I would have to agree, that does not make you look good, I do not think the law would like that you have made copies of a photo like that of one of your students either..."

"Me be hearin' dah rumors that you was no tha only one involved in givin' these here pictures a yerself ta all dah good wahine a' dis here school. Do I need ta be lookin' for dah accomplices, er is ya gonna go quietly?"

"You cannot do this, I will go to the school board!"

"Me already talk to dah school board me did, an' dey no be wantin' dah exhibitionist in dah school, don't yah know?"

The briefest flash of shifting the blame where it belonged, and trying to push it all onto Nabiki crossed his mind, but he squashed it just as quickly! Considering what the middle Tendo would do to him when he was nice to her, he did not want to know what she would do if he turned her in for this and got her expelled this close to her graduation. It was not as if he wanted to be there in the first place, he had a lot of other things that he would rather be doing anyway! "Nah, it was all me! Ya know how big a pervert I am... How'd ya think I get all those girls ta chase me around an' stuff?"

"Well, that's dah good keiki, yeah! Since yah be goin' peaceful like, me be givin' ya 'til dah end a' dah day ta gather ya things, and nevah darken dah doorstep a dah school again!" The elder Kuno laughed as he resumed his playing and started to dance again.

"Yeah, well, since I ain't a student no more, then I guess it don't matter if I do this then..." With a quick spin, Ranma kicked the principal in the head, knocking him through the glass door, and into the wall outside.

"Saotome-kun! Why did you do that?"

"What'd ya mean? That jerk deserves it!"

"No, not that! Why did you take the blame? We both know that you were not the one who distributed that photograph, you told me that you were not even aware of being taken."

"Yeah, whatever... It ain't like I care."

"You SHOULD!" Seeing the shift in his mood, Hinako thought about his reasons. "Oh, now I see! You did it to protect your friend! Right?"

"Not really, I just don't want ta be here."

"You cannot fool me, I understand and your secret is safe with me." She winked at him as she smiled. "Do not worry Saotome-kun, I will do everything I can to fight this!"

"Whatever Teach, really, don't put yerself out."

Climbing back in through the hole, the principal shifted his gaze between the pair. "Hey! Why ya be standin' up for dah delinquent student now?"

"I AM standing up TO the delinquent. Happo Five-Yen Satsu!"

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Seeing the excitement during her morning errand, the young woman hurried off to report what she overheard. As soon as she got out of earshot, she started to run, not wanting to waste a second. As soon as she opened the door to the 'unused' room, she saw a disheveled Nabiki, grumpily looking up from where she had been sleeping behind a wall of desks. "Boss! Boss! We've got problems! You'll never believe what just happened!"

"COFFEE!" The young woman's scowl darkened the already dark room as her arm shot out toward the other student.

"HAI! Sorry I'm late!" She handed over the styrofoam cup without hesitation, only bowing as she stepped away.

Nabiki immediately started to guzzle down the contents of her morning cappuccino, and the zombified look upon her face slowly started to fade. "Now, Ryonami, what's so damn important that you have to yell before I get my caffeine?"

"It's RANMA! The principal! THE PICTURE! It's oooover!"

"Hey, slow down, I am not awake enough to follow that..."

"The picture of Ranma-kun, the principal found it and expelled Ranma-kun!"

"Oh man, that's bad... Did-...?"

"No, that's the most amazing part! Ranma-kun took the fall for us!"

"WHAT?"

"Yeah! I can't believe it either... When that lunatic tried to get the guy to roll over on us, I thought for sure we were doomed, but Ranma claimed to be the one who was giving out his own picture! In front of Hinako-sensei too!"

Nabiki just lost her last link to Ranma, but he protected her in the end, she could not have been more confused. 'I may have to give that boy a discount next time...' She needed to come up with a new way to learn what was happening in his life, if she was going to keep her income to acceptable levels.

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Disgusted with himself, Sasuke secretly made his way into Kodachi's room through one of his 'secret' passages. "Mistress, are you home?"

"Sasuke! What do you want? Can you not see that I am busy?"

"Yes, Mistress, but you see, I brought you this..." With a flick of his wrist, he sent the image flying across the room, where it was snatched out of the air.

"Oh? Oh. OHOHOHO! Why Sasuke, how lovely! Can you, 'blow' this up to fill my wall, just like you did for my brother?"

"Yes Mistress!" The tiny ninja almost threw up in his mouth as he though about what he was going to have to do next.

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NOTES

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Again sorry about this being out of order. I am not certain what happened, it should have been before Nabiki bought the cameras, it was almost two year ago when I was on this part of the story, and I guess I was thinking about too many things at once... This was why I had intended to proofread this whole thing before I started putting out chapters, but without my editor, I guess I just got to hard up for feedback. My bad.

I may go back and try to work it in properly, but for now, I suppose this will have to do.

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Warning: Reading this story will not make you better at the martial arts.

That said, maybe you can learn from my mistake, and become better writers! ;p

Chapter 23 - Ooops...

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Once Genma had lost consciousness, Nodoka found she had a lot of time on her hands to think, and shifted her focus from teaching her husband the many errors of his ways, to her son's obvious lack of progress in a certain area of his 'education', both somewhat related. Despite the assurances of his personal instructor and his supposed 'lovers', it seemed from her perspective, that they were not really trying at all! Two of them had not even been home very much and she was starting to doubt their pledge to her son... It was not as if it required much commitment just for the simple act of education, she certainly did not have any intention of limiting him to the first woman he beds, he was her manly son after all!

This line of thinking had gotten her rather ...frustrated, and leaving a snoring former panda bound and gagged in the back room, she slowly walked toward the kitchen to make some calming tea. It had not been enough to settle her down however, so she went down to the furo for a long soak, and while the warm water helped to melt away her stress, it did nothing for the problems themselves. The two largest of which having to do with the two men recently returned in her life, and how long each of them would remain. Sadly, no one was likely to be able to help her with her husband, only she could decide what she would do with him, or if he would be allowed to do anything with her ...or a tanto, but for now he would stay put, at least until she made her decision!

That brought her to her other problem, even though the young women had all attested to her son's manliness, she was beginning to have her doubts. How could a manly young man be so disinterested in the opposite sex? It made no sense to her, she should have known better than to entrust such things to her husband, he always had been all talk in that department. When she learned who his master was, she had held out such high hopes, but it seems that he only learned the foul traits, such as lying and stealing, and failed to develop a healthy appreciation for the fairer gender. If it were not so rude, she would give the little man an ear-full about what a failure he was as a teacher, if she ever saw him again!

Hinako and Ukyo almost curled up into a ball and rolled away at the unintentional hate-filled look they received upon entering the room. "I am sorry Saotome-san, should we come back later?"

"Oh my, no! You are far late enough, young ladies need their rest, after all. You should hurry up and get cleaned up for bed, I know someone has been waiting for you." Ukyo's squeal the Saotome matriarch had been somewhat expecting, though she slightly frowned at the lack of response from Hinako. She waited for them to finish scrubbing and join her in the tub, before speaking again. "I do hope you two had a lovely evening."

Ukyo was unsure what to make of the shift in attitude, hoping the 'look of death' they had received had been unrelated to them directly, and decided to try acting as naturally as possible. "Well, Ah guess ya kin say it was productive, yeah?" She looked to Hinako who nodded in conformation.

"Well now, that 'is' good to hear. It is always good to have accomplishments while one is young. So, tell me, what sort of 'productive activity' were the two of you doing? Was it with my Ranma?" The handsome woman lit up, her hope-filled face sparkling at them, reminding Ukyo strongly of Ranma doing an impression of an optimistic Kasumi, pleading for good news ...it was hard to disappoint her.

"Well, not exactly ...but Ah guess y'all could say it's related... Ah mean... ummm..."

"Oh? Forgive my rudeness, but may I ask what it was then? Where have you two been lately?" If it was related to her son, she wanted to know every detail they would give her!

Ukyo was not sure exactly what to tell the older woman, something inside told her that it would be unwise to tell her that she was trying to set Kasumi up on a date, and while she did not understand why, she usually trusted her instincts. They only steer her wrong half of the time! "Uh, well, ya see, Ah went ta see th' doc-..."

"Nothing is wrong is it? Are you PREGNANT?" At first the Saotome matriarch look concerned, but the thought of becoming a grandmother quickly sent her to cloud nine!

"NO! Uh, not yet..." Thinking as quickly as she was able, Ukyo blurted out the first excuse that came to mind. "Ah thought wit' th' contest, it'd be smart ta git somethin' ta, ya know ...just in case." She could not believe she had said that aloud, and was blushing from head to toe because of it.

"Ah, so you are looking into contraception, are you? ...I see."

"Well, Ah want ta graduate high school 'afore Ah git pregnant! I got a shop ta run!" Ukyo smiled as she blushed and imagined being a mother, watching the restaurant as Ranma played with their children... It was an old favorite of hers.

Nodoka did not hide her disappointment well, though Ukyo was too caught up in her fantasy to notice, she did not like the idea of waiting any longer than necessary for HER grandchildren! While Nodoka was already bias, this was the first time anyone had lost points with her, as opposed to gaining them. Having missed out on most of Ranma's childhood, she desperately wanted to be involved in her grandchildren's lives, and the sooner the better! While she toyed with the idea of sabotaging the birth control, whatever it was she had gotten, she ultimately decided that was below her, and tried to forget the idea, as tempting as it may have been. Well, if this girl was not going to help provide her with grand-babies any time soon, the least she could do was to help Ranma gain experience!

"Saotome-han? ...Saotome-han?" Ukyo had been trying to gain the older woman's attention for a few moments, and was starting to wonder if she had been in the bath for too long...

"Oh? Were you saying something?"

"Jus' makin' sure ya okay..."

"I'm fine, thank you." She leaned in a bit closer, and lowered her voice. "You know, there are a large number of things you both can do that do not require any form for contraception. Just something to keep in mind, in fact, if you don't do some of those things first, you are likely to have a lot less fun anyway."

Ukyo stood in shock, she could not believe that Ranma's mother was saying such things so bluntly, and all of her time spent pretending to be Kasumi kicked in. "Oh my!" Then another thought kicked its way in, Ranma's mother had just given her approval to do perverted things with him! Her second 'Oh my' took on a completely different tone.

Nodoka patted her rump, prompting her to exit the tub. "Now hurry along, you do not want that nosebleed to get in the water, and I am sure my son is waiting on you." Watching the younger girl run off, she rested her hand upon Hinako's shoulder, preventing her from following along. "Not you."

"Is something wrong, Saotome-san?" Hinako suddenly wondered if this was related to the dirty look they had been given as they entered the room.

"Oh no, I only wanted to talk, just the two of us."

"Oh, is there anything I can do for you?" Hinako was taken aback by the gleam in the other woman's eye, and had to resist the urge to get away from her.

"Why yes, yes there is, in fact!" Nodoka's expression got a bit more serious as she leaned in closer to her son's teacher. "Although I think you already know what it is, since these special 'classes' were partly your idea, but they do not seem to be going very well."

"Well, I hate to disagree, but..."

"You think you 'are' doing well?"

"Oh, no, not that, it is just that I was not the one who suggested this plan, my idea was to go with more of a classroom environment, rather than letting things happen naturally."

"I see, so you think that it is my fault."

"I did not say that either! If I had to wager a guess, I would say your husband would be the main cause, but I have not learned all of the details yet, and I was not a psychology major, so I cannot say anything for certain."

"This is not very manly at all! How could things NOT progress naturally, if all of you lovely ladies are trying your best? Do I need to take matters into my own hands?" Nodoka thought about her options, perhaps someone who was not contending to be Ranma's 'head wife' would be a better choice for his first time... She had a number of options, from taking the boy to a brothel, to a number of her frustrated friends, who were either young widows or married to men who refused to fulfill their marital duties for one reason or another, a problem with which she could sympathize strongly, who might be willing to assist her son. As she thought of the ways in which she could 'kill two birds with one stone', she had to wipe away a bit of drool...

Hinako was starting to worry, as if the idea of Ranma's mother judging him to be unmanly was not bad enough, her teaching him 'personally' was not something she could even contemplate! 'What is wrong with this woman?' She desperately wanted to defuse this dilemma before it went too far! "No! You should let me handle it! Please?"

"OH MY! So you ARE interested!" The certainty in her voice told Hinako that this was not a question.

"Um... You see now, here is the thing... I mean, that is to say..."

The two women heard a loud thump followed by a masculine gasp, and Nodoka grinned lasciviously at the idea of Ukyo hopping into bed with Ranma, not realizing that the young woman was too tired to even care that they had saved her the top spot. Of course, that was not to say that she did not take that spot, however she was asleep before her head even landed on his chest.

"Oh, now THAT is more like it!" Jumping out of the furo, Nodoka grabbed Hinako's wrist with one hand and a couple of towels with the other and sprinted toward the changing room. They quickly wrapped themselves, as the excited mother rushed, teacher in tow, to spy ...er 'document her son's progress'! Yes, that was it, and she made sure to grab a camera on the way!

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Genma had regained consciousness a short time ago, and had finally managed to dislocate his shoulder so he could wriggle out of part of the harness that bound him, though getting it over his belly was a problem, and without that, he could not free his legs! The only thing he could think of was to find something to cut the leather, but he did not see anything that would do the trick, and he did not know how much time he had before anyone returned. Using his good arm, he pulled himself over to the bed, and slammed his other arm back into the socket, biting into the ball-gag to keep himself from screaming out in misery.

Taking a moment to let the pain subside, he crawled over, and opened the window before launching himself through it. He had seen better landings, but he figured it could have been worse, and remembered a saying about walking away, which gave him pause. 'Necessity is a mother', as they say, and it only took him a moment to flip himself over, and he was running away as fast as his hands could take him. It was an embarrassing situation, made worse by the fact that Nodoka had changed him back into a human! At least if he had been a panda, less people could recognize him in this awkward situation.

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Nodoka whispered to her peeping partner, "Well now, that was rather anticlimactic. I had hoped to see how manly my son had become!"

Hinako could not have been less surprised by the lack of activity in the room, having come to expect as much out of the group, especially with the temporary truce the two had formed, and Kasumi had kept the general peace otherwise. She had appointed herself Ranma's defender, as the boy was not good at standing up for himself in so many situations, and while the young woman had to make compromises with the code of ethics that she had been taught, she did her best to make sure that everyone 'behaved'.

Knowing what she did about the eldest Tendo daughter, Hinako had to admit, she was impressed with how well the girl had adjusted to her new situation, and the expectations of those around her! To be able to adapt so easily was an exceptional skill, and obviously she developed it quite young. Whatever her faults, it was obvious to Hinako that Kasumi Tendo was a remarkable young lady, who was continually striving to becoming a much more well rounded person.

"Oh my, you do not think they finished that quickly, do you? That certainly would not be very manly, I did not even hear any 'joy sobs'!"

Having someone mentioning one of her students screaming in ecstasy so casually quickly snapped her out of her unusual introspection, once again, concerned about Ranma being judged unmanly! Hinako tried to keep her voice low, however the horror was clear in her voice and across her beautiful features. "No, wait! I'm sure they were all sleeping already, before we got home, we have some ...um, special training early in the morning too, so..."

As Nodoka shifted her focus from the interior of the room, toward the incoherent instructor, her eyes widened watching her shrink in every direction until her towel fell to the floor, revealing the body of young lady who had only recently entered puberty, and not the buxom beauty she had come to know. "Oh my!"

Seeing the reaction, and not wanting to awaken the slumbering teens, she quickly grabbed Nodoka's wrist, covered her mouth, and dragged her toward back toward the furo. "Wait! I can explain!"

Nodoka carefully eyed the younger ...'girl'? "Do you have a curse as well? I did not see any way you could have been splashed with water in the hallway there..." She was further surprised to see the other woman's body ...fill out as they entered the furo, where Hinako had left her fishbowl. "Wait, what is going on here, and which is your real body?"

Grabbing another towel, Hinako tried to regain her composure. "First off, this was not a Jusenkyo curse, but rather a strange 'medical treatment' of sorts done by a perverted old man. Though it helped with my weak constitution, it turned out the old pervert only wanted me to help with stealing underwear, and I was too young and grateful to know any better at the time."

Nodoka's eyes went wide and sparkled in awe in light of this new information. "So, how does this 'Pervert Power' of yours work?"

"Please, I would rather you did not call it that." Hinako lifted her drooping head, and saw the look of a child who saw their favorite character at an event. "Um, well, using a round opening, I can drain fighting spirit, which can temporarily power me up to my natural form and beyond."

"You can look even older? Ooooo..."

"What? No! No, not older, but a tougher, more powerful version of myself."

"So ANY round opening? Like your...?"

"What? NO!" Hinako paused for a moment, lost in thought. "...Wait, could I? Well maybe a No Coin Return? Wait ...NOoo!"

"But, I don't get it, I have not seen you in that form the entire time I have known you, is that why you spend so much time around my son?"

"No! While the boy has a stronger aura than just about anyone I have ever seen, and it IS thanks to Onii-chan... er Saotome-kun, that I was able to get the special fish that allow me to remain an adult most of the time, for that I will be forever grateful."

"Ah, well that does explain a lot." Nodoka was starting to understand how this woman managed to break the ultimate taboo for a teacher, to fall in love with her student! Such a tragic romance! While she no intention of changing her support for who she wanted Ranma to pick for his bride, and head wife, she wanted to help this other woman fulfill her dreams! "And you say, few others can appreciate your problem? I understand completely!"

Hinako saw the look on her face, and started to have doubts. 'I'm not sure you do...' "Well, I did not SAY that, but it is true, I have never had a serious boyfriend. Prior to finding these amazing little guys, I could never maintain my adult form long enough to even go on a date, let alone anything else, so many who did, only liked me BECAUSE I change like that. But as we were say-..."

"So, you say my son is the exception to that, and does not treat you the same way the other, lesser, men did?"

"Um, well, nooo, but-..." Hinako was desperately trying to change the subject, wanting to get back to talking about Ranma's education, and away from her insubstantial love life!

"So, may I ask, why is it you have not gone ahead and 'taught' this lesson yourself?" Nodoka led her companion back toward the changing room as they talked.

"Well, I had been ready to, but you have said that you did not want to 'waste time' with a class."

"I just thought my son would learn better in a more 'hands on' situation, I used to get letters from my husband all of the time, detailing some of their training, and they told me how quickly Ranma could learn by example. I mean, if NONE of you are ready, I can take-..."

"NO! I'm sorry, I mean that is normally true, for anything relating to the martial arts, however ...in this case, there are other factors involved..."

The sudden interruption reinforced Nodoka's preconceptions, and she started to wonder why this could be the case. "Oh? What might these 'other factors' be? Do not tell me that you are a vir-...?"

"THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!" Hinako quickly turned away, trying to hide her blush, feeling as young as she had looked a few moments prior.

Nodoka grinned at the other woman's outburst, and rested a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Fear not, my dear, Auntie Nodoka is here to help you."

"But! You've got it-."

"It is okay, you do not have anything to worry about."

The thought of a fight breaking out flashed through her mind. "You don't know those girls... No, wait! That is NOT the issue here!" Hinako breathed deeply, trying to calm herself down, she would not do anyone any good, if she just kept getting flustered! "There is more going on here than you seem to be aware, Saotome-san."

"Oh?" Nodoka's excitement grew, thinking about the other women, to whom she had to be referring, that also 'loved her manly son'!

"Yes, this is not something you want to rush, in fact, you could end up actually making things worse! Saotome-kun has some serious hang-ups about this topic, bordering on a phobia. If you push it too quickly, you might break the boy, like-..."

"Like, 'what'?"

"Like with the ...felines, I told you about that 'training', did I not?"

The older woman shivered at the thought. "How could I forget?"

"How manly would being afraid of women be, in your opinion?"

"Not at all!"

"And how would you feel if you discovered that it was you who pushed it into being that way?"

The handsome woman jumped back and lost her towel, as she slapped her hands over her mouth. "ARA!"

Seeing that she had the other woman's attention, she tried to finally get to her point. "At some point, 'someone' did 'something' that traumatized your son, and while I cannot say for certain what caused it, I can say that if we push too hard, too quickly, we could do something we all might regret."

Having long ago dried, Nodoka threw on a yukata as she tried to hide her disappointment, remaining undeterred. "Well now, we certainly would not want that! So, if you know my son so well, what is it that you would suggest we do?"

"Please, leave it to me, it will take some time, as we need to go slowly, and explain things in a way that is easy to digest, without aggravating whatever caused the 'injury'. I would also like more time to talk about the issue, privately. The problem with this is that being so 'manly', it is difficult to get Saotome-kun to open up about anything, especially when it is something emotional or traumatic. However, I believe that in time, we can work through this, without causing any more problems than we already have."

"So, you do not think...?"

"Oh no! Ranma-kun is VERY manly, and-!"

"Good, then I will expect you to sleep in here from now on, at least until you ...'work though this', as you say." Only at that moment, did Hinako realize they had walked back to Ranma's room, and she was now standing on the other side of the doorway.

"But, I-!"

"...Need this even more than Ranma it seems, I really must insist. I hope you sleep well, my dear." Nodoka slid the door closed, leaving just enough of a crack to allow her to peep into the room ...making sure that no one left.

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"Ranma-kun, before you go, if you are not in too much of a hurry, could we talk for a moment?" She had been wanting to talk to him for a while now, but had been having some difficulty finding the right time.

"Huh? Sure Kasumi-san, what ya need?" He blushed as she took him by the hand, and started to lead him away without warning. "Hey, where're we goin'?"

Not wanting to be overheard, she led them several blocks away before she said a word. "Ranma-kun, I have some ...concerns."

"Huh? 'Bout what?"

"...I know you that love and respect your mother, but ...I not certain that everything you are learning is exactly ...'proper'."

Ranma's head hung low. "I knew it, don't none a' this feel right ta me! I should just go..."

"NO! Ranma-kun, please, do not leave me again!" She instinctively reached out to grab his arm.

"Huh? But-..."

"I am sorry, you are fine! I mean, there is just one thing I wish to say. It is about," Her voice dropped to a whisper. "...the peeping."

"But, I didn't-..." Ranma stopped as Kasumi placed her finger on his lips.

"It is perfectly normal for you to want to see other people naked, but I want to make sure you know that it is not right to peep on unsuspecting people, okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, it ain't like I did that 'cause I wanted ta'!" Ranma started worry that he was going to be chided and tried to back away, but Kasumi would not drop his arm.

Kasumi did not understand the pain in her chest, but it left as quickly as it came, so she ignored it. "It is all right, I am not upset with you. You do not need to peep on us, you can just join us in the bath any time you want, okay?" Kasumi blushed at how forward she was being, and more so with what she intended to say. "I do not want to see you get into trouble, so ...if you feel you need to look at a nude woman, please, just ask me!" She felt as though her face was going to explode, and was glad that Ranma could not meet her eyes. "That is, if-you-do-not-wish-to-involve-the-others, who-I-am-sure-would-also-be-willing, if-you-just-ask, but-I-understand-if-you-don't-want-to-risk-that!" The young woman was talking so quickly she barely had time to breathe.

"Ah, but, I, don't need, I mean, th' curse, ya know? ...Not that I ever look, er nuthin'!"

"No, no, Ranma-kun, it is fine, there is nothing wrong with wanting to look, okay?"

"Really?" Ranma looked up, searching her face for any sign. "Do ...you?"

"Oh my, well, I mean, that is..." She did everything she could to avoid his eyes as visions of his nude body flashed though her mind in various positions, occasionally joined by an equally naked Shampoo. "...I can't say I mind." She could not believe what she was admitting aloud, she did not even like to admit to herself that she could appreciate the view of someone unclothed as anything other than a chore, such as a back to wash or laundry to do.

"What? Really? Even you, Kasumi-san?"

"I am only human, Ranma-kun..."

"It don't seem like it, some days ya remind me a' a goddess. Ya know, perfect."

"Oh my! No, no, no, I am far from it! I make mistakes far too often!" '...And we have all paid the price.' A thought crossed her mind, and she thought it might help... "In fact, none of us are perfect, we all make blunders. What matters are not our mistakes, but what we do about them. Okay?" On some level she may have been talking more for herself than her companion, but either way, her point was valid.

"Yeah, I guess..." He could not believe his ears, but nodded anyway, uncertain if he ought to look for some sort of magical device that might have affected the kind young woman.

"Don't worry, if you ever need help, I will always be here for you. Now, don't let me keep you any longer, I will see you when you get back. Okay?"

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He was not exactly sure as to why, but Ranma had been feeling strange when visiting Doctor Tofu for a while now, and no matter how friendly the older gentleman would be, there was an underlying tone to the general atmosphere that kept the young martial artist on edge. It was strange, the discomfort kind of reminded him of hanging out with Mousse, it just made no sense to him. It also did not help that he knew all too well that the young doctor could occasionally manage to sneak up on him, a feat scant few could manage while he was being attentive!

Needless to say, he was not looking forward to his mission that afternoon, he seriously considered just lying to Shampoo, and telling her that he asked. Unfortunately, he doubted he could come up with a believable response beyond 'no' that would sound like it came from a doctor ...well that, and the fact that it was for Kasumi, kept him moving forward. After a long day of construction, it was hard for him to keep his senses on 'full alert' as he entered the small office just before closing time. First they had to patch the hole in their wall, and next they planed on starting to rebuild a dojo from the ground up!

"Oh, good evening, Ranma-kun. It's been a while."

"Oh, uh, hey ya, Doc."

"So what brings you to my office? You do not look injured."

"Well, ya see Doc, I got this, um, friend, yeah, 'friend', an' I think they're afraid a' heights, er somethin', an' I was hopin' ya could give me an idea of how ta help 'em..."

"You are acrophobic? I find that surprising considering your abilities..."

"No! A' course not! I told ya, it ain't me, it's just someone I know!"

"Sure, sure. Well you see, Ranma, while some people can be helped with medication, it really depends on the cause. Almost all people suffer from it to a small degree, actually a rational fear of heights is present in many mammals, it is instinctive, even in humans. As I said, for a treatment to be possible, we would need to know the cause, if it is strong enough to be an actual phobia, it is likely the cause was some traumatic experience, or possibly many of them, so I would need to speak with 'your friend' to be able to prescribe any sort of treatment."

"I'm serious! It ain't me!"

"Right, I believe you, Ranma."

"It don't seem like it... Ain't there a pressure point, er something like that?"

"Not directly, remember, as I said, aside from some minor queasiness, real acrophobia, that is anything beyond what all of us possess naturally, is generally caused by some type of trauma, and would likely require an actual mental health professional."

"Hey Doc, my friend ain't crazy!"

"I never said 'they' were! You know, most people could benefit from speaking to a therapist on occasion, just to help cope with the stresses of life. Speaking of which, I still recommend talking to someone about your other trauma too, I really think it would help you."

"Yeah Doc, I know, but I ain't crazy neither, an' this ain't about me!" 'I ain't th' one dancin' with skeletons!' "Thanks anyway, I'll try talkin' to 'em, but it's just a guess, so I wanted ta know what th' options were."

As Ranma turned to leave, Tofu spoke up, causing the young man to hesitate. "Listen Ranma-kun, I need to ask, are you planning to be home tomorrow evening?"

"Huh? Nah, I got stuff ta do most a' th' week ...at least." Ranma grumbled silently about all of the construction work they had planned, repairing some holes was bad enough, but they had to practically start from scratch! It was going to take them long many long hours, luckily Shampoo was able to help in the daytime as well, though he had expected her to be working... He was so caught up in his own issues, that the strangeness of the doctor's question barely registered to him as he thought about the work ahead, and turned to almost run face first into Ukyo as she entered the office, followed by Hinako.

"RANCHAN! What're ya doin' here? Did'ja need meh?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry, Ucchan. Nah, just had ta ask th' doc somethin'."

"Ah'm sorry, if'n Ah knew ya were gonna be here, Ah'd a' made ya some dinner!" Ukyo blushed as she thought about Ranma enjoying her Okonomiyaki.

"Ah, that's okay Ucchan, I'm sure Kasumi-san's got dinner ...made. Oh man, I didn't mean ta..." Realizing what he said, he glanced over at the good doctor, worried about his reaction.

Ukyo fumed, once again 'That Woman' was getting in her way! "Wouldn't ya rather be eatin' Shampoo's noodles?" At least with Shampoo, she felt as if she had a fighting chance!

With other concerns on his mind, Ranma spoke without thinking, as usual. "NO! A' course not! Who would?"

Ukyo could take little solace in the insult to her longtime rival, all too focused on the domestic goddess herself, and how that 'obstacle' needed to be removed!

Ranma barely noticed that he did not get a response to his rhetorical question, as he could not stop looking at the doctor, who was barely nervously twitching as he sat on a nearby table. "Hey, why ain't ya actin' all stupid?"

That broke the doctor out of his agitation, and brought him back to the present. "What, did you need something, Ranma-kun?"

Ukyo stood proud, her previous jealousy forgotten as quickly as it had ignited as her work bore fruit.

"Whatever... So what ya doin' here, Ucchan? Nuthin' wrong I hope?" When Ukyo blushed at his question he suddenly remembered overhearing his mother talking about the girls getting birth control, which caused him to blush, panic, and run for the hills! Even the disoriented doctor stared slack-jawed at the Ranma-shaped dust cloud that hung in the air...

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The ancient matriarch gazed around the diner, looking at the chairs resting on top of the tables and the lack of activity, having a lot going through her mind. Between her granddaughter wanting to spend her time with her husband, not that she could blame her especially with her finally making progress, and that useless Mousse keeping himself scarce, there was little reason to keep their cafe open. It was mostly just for show anyway, an excuse for them to be in the country legally, and with any luck, soon that would no longer be a necessity!

It had been weeks now since she had closed the doors, however, this had been the first time her granddaughter had not come by for advice or training, and she was a bit lonely, not that she would admit it ...to ANYONE! That's just like the young, as soon as they think they no longer have anything to learn, they ignore you! Cologne cackled to herself, caught up in a fantasy of taking Shampoo's place at the wedding...

She might not care for Happosai's methods, but she had to admit, at least to herself, that the old pervert certainly knew how to stay energized!

She had been considering her options for a while, and while she was relived to see how well Shampoo had been doing of late, nothing was certain, and she wanted to make sure to keep an eye on her for a while longer before going back home. 'Keep an eye on her? What a wonderful idea!'

After gathering up a number of items, she locked the door, and hopped off to spy ...or 'support', yes, that was the plan! Not as the matriarch of their tribe, but just a concerned grandmother, wanting to support her granddaughter and her friends! Who could fault her for that?

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Ryoga's mood was improving, while it was true that he had been stuck in his cursed form for more than a day, and it was also true that even though the love of his life was spending time with another man, even after being freed from her last unwanted iinazuke, he was starting to see buildings that were familiar, so he felt as though he was making progress! However, when he finally saw someone he knew, his joy was squashed, the old Chinese woman could be more dangerous than any monster!

He kept a safe distance, and did his best to watch her carefully. Anything she was doing could be a problem for Akane after all! So, he followed the old woman, out of concern, and certainly NOT because he hoped she would lead him somewhere that could get him back to Akane, no, not at all!

What they ended up finding however, was both what he had hoped for, as well as NOT what he had expected at ALL! Seeing Genma, standing on his hands and trying to rub his back against the brick wall, while bound in tight black leather, was both sickening and humorous at the same time... Laughter won out over disgust in both his and Cologne's cases, and he tried to listen to what they were saying, though he was unable to make out much of their conversation.

"...and you want MY help, so that you can face your friend?" The nodding was apparent enough anyway. "Fine, I think I know the best way to help you here."

This time, Ryoga had no trouble making out the older man's words. "You mean, you'll get me out of this mess?"

Hopping down off of her staff, the diminutive woman gripped the bottom of it as if it were a baseball bat, and said, "Not exactly", before taking a mighty swing, sending him flying. "Tell Soun 'hello' for me!" The cackles that followed, sent shivers down the tiny pig's short spine, as he considered trying to chase after the speck in the sky. However, at that moment, he noticed that the shriveled old woman had locked eyes with his, and he panicked! Turning, he closed his eyes, and ran as hard and fast as his little legs would carry him, that was until he bumped into ...something.

"Well, aren't you just the cutest thing ever? ...And strong too!" Ryoga opened his eyes, just in time to see a cute girl, sitting on the ground, where he assumed he had knocked her, as she lifted him into her arms. "I have never seen a pig your size who could knock me down!"

Despite the girl's smile, he felt guilty about causing her problems, and forgot about the cause of his haste. "You have this bandanna, but no collar, did you lose it?"

The only collar he had ever been made to wear was one that brought back horrific memories with it, including the name that had been engraved upon it, 'Charlotte', and he violently shook his head in the negative. "Do you understand me? I knew it! Pigs are just so smart you know!"

Ryoga lost all of his mental faculties as the girl hugged him to her chest, having trouble resisting the nosebleed that was sure to follow. So much so, that he had no idea they were even moving, let alone where they were going, though that was not an unusual feeling for the eternally lost boy. "I know! I will take you home and train you, I just know you would make an excellent sumo wrestler! I will call you P-choppy, for 'Pork Chop', and I think that you might even be strong enough to train with Katsunishiki to be the best!"

Ryoga was starting to feel faint, while Akane had squeezed him far more tightly, it was the softness that was getting to him, he had never felt like this before in his life, and that was the last thought he had before waking up in a small cage some time later...

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"Haven't you been on a date before, Kuonji-kun?"

"Ah've been on a date! More 'en one! WHO SAID AH HAVEN'T?" Ukyo glared at her teacher, who knew full well that she had been on a few dates with Ranma!

"Then you have far more experience than I do, I was always too shy to ask anyone out, and my mother's tastes are ...questionable." Tofu looked away, highlighting his timidness as he remembered the last woman his mother had picked out for him.

"Personally, I was never able to finish one ...'something' would always happen before it was over, and well, you know..." Hinako grumbled a bit about her bad luck with dates.

"So that is why it has to be you that makes the plans, you are the only one with any experience!"

Blushing at the implication, Ukyo looked away shyly. "Fine! But, didja hafta put it like that? It ...Ah, ain't like that!"

"All in good time, but are we really sure that the doctor is ready for this?"

"Uh course not, but like ya said Ranma's mom ain't gonna wait ferevah, and Shampoo'll do anythin' given half a chance, so all we kin do is try!"

"Well, I can follow along, to make sure everyone is safe-..." Hinako figured that it never hurt to have a bit of added insurance.

"Ah'll go too! It'll be easier ta watch ta'getha!" If she was going to have to be there while he asks her out, Ukyo wanted to also go along and make sure everything was a success! All the better to make them happy! For some reason, she felt as if she had wolf ears, and a tail that needed to be hidden.

"Like a double date?" Both of them looked at Tofu, shaken out of their thoughts, and confused by his comment. "Well, Akane-chan told me you generally dress like a man most of the time, and if we must do this so soon, I would feel more comfortable if you were there for support..."

Seeing him gazing intently at his fingertips as they touched, Ukyo was reminded of Ryoga, and further pitied the man. At least Ranma would not see her pretending to be a man again, she had been trying to be as feminine as possible for him lately, and did not want to remind him of her old habits! "Ah suppose, but what're we gonna tell Tendo-han? Ah mean, doncha wanna be alone?"

Thinking back on some of his previous outbursts, Tofu shivered. "I would say 'worried about it' is closer to reality."

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The next afternoon, Ukyo took her position in the bushes, and looked up to see that Tofu was just standing there, nervously staring at the door. She looked back to make certain that Hinako was out of her line of sight as well, and looked back at the doctor. "What're ya waitin' fer? Ring th' bell already!" With her voice a harsh whisper, she glared up at the older man.

"I did, maybe it's broken?"

"Ah don' know, can't say Ah ever heard it ring ...most people don't even knock ...not that we git a lot a' company when Ah'm home." Which, between work, school, and training ya, is not often! Didja 'hear' anythin'?"

"Ah! Too nervous ...don't remember!"

"Just try knockin' then! Don't worry, Ah'm raht here!"

Straightening himself, and his suit, the handsome gentleman slowly knocked on the front door, while growing more despondent as the silence continued. With a bead of sweat forming, his nervous chuckle slowly crawled to the surface, yet his stoic expression did not change ...for an exorbitant amount of time. "We know Ranma-kun is not supposed to be here, but is ANYONE home?"

"Uh... Aw hell! Ah didn't think a' that! ...Guess I gotta go check!" After extracting herself from the shrubbery, Ukyo brushed the twigs and leaves out of her hair, and ran around to the backyard, looking to see if she could find any signs of life.

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"Boy, I sure am glad ya were able ta get th' day off work again, ya been a big help, but ain't yer granny gonna need ya?"

"AIIIIIIIIIIIYAAAAAAA! Even if no is closed, be worth no going to hear Ranma say that!" Shampoo was dancing around from the joy of being appreciated.

"WHAT? Yer closed? What happened? Is this because ya been spendin' so much time with us?" Ranma felt guilty, not wanting to be the cause of them losing their livelihood!

Seeing the opportunity, Shampoo decided to twist the knife. "Is so. Shampoo spend all time with Ranma, Mousse spend all time with Akane, Great-grandmother no keep doors open..."

"Oh my, Shampoo-chan, I am so sorry, is there anything we can do to help you?" Kasumi was surprised to see the younger girl stick her tongue out at her, and wink.

"Is okay! Shampoo have better thing do now! Ranma no more turn Shampoo away, is give chance! Having too too better thing do with time! From now, Shampoo live every moment for Ranma!" Prostrating herself on the ground in front of the wide-eyed youth, she struggled with the proper expression. "Please care for Shampoo from now..."

"Oh my!"

Having just enough wherewithal to realize that saying anything would ruin the moment, Nodoka managed to bite her tongue, and not mention anything about her son being manly. She fidgeted while chewing on her apron as she waited for her son's response.

This was far more differential than he was comfortable with concerning the usually strong-willed young woman, and he was never the most eloquent when placed in such situations anyway... "Um, well, I mean, I guess, I, ya know, will help ya with whatever ...an' stuff."

Ryu scoffed. "How does such a 'smooth talker' end up with so many girlfriends? I don't think I will ever understand..."

"It ain't like it was my idea! I don't really get it either..."

Clinging onto Ranma's leg, as if she were on a Conan or Vacation movie poster, Shampoo gazed up into his face. "No be jealous, Ranma just too too much man!"

"Could have fooled me, seemed more like only half-..."

"Hey! That how ya thank me fer helpin' ya?"

"Is still many more manly than boy what only can pretend be Ranma!"

"Hey, I-"

"No can hold candle to Airen? Yes, Shampoo know this!"

The purple-haired girl was cute enough, with her tongue sticking out at him, to cause his retort to catch in his throat. "Oh, whatever..."

"Well, it seems as though we are no longer making any progress, so perhaps it is time to stop for dinner, we can clean up the mess after we eat. Hurry along now. Kasumi-chan, would you be so kind as to bring the picnic basket?"

"Of course, Aun- er, Mother, I will be right there!"

Moments later, they were all sitting around the blanket, and Ryu inwardly groaned at how all of the women were hovering around the other boy, giving him more attention in the last few moments, than they had to him all day. It was not as if he could blame them, they barely knew him, and what they did know, was that he attacked them over some old grudge they knew nothing about! Ryu's head drooped as he felt guilty for not being able to prevent his jealousy.

"Oh my, there is no need to look so down, I am sure we will have your dojo finished soon! Why don't you have some dinner, I am sure you will feel better after that!" Kasumi tried to hand the young man a plate and chopsticks.

"Yeah, Kasumi-san's food's th' best!"

Shampoo pouted for a moment, however she could not really argue the point, so while trying without success to feed Ranma a portion, she regained her usual cheer. "Is true! Here try this one, Airen, Shampoo help make!"

A blushing Kasumi had turned away, trying to hide her face. "No, really, I did nothing special, Mother and Shampoo-chan did most of the work..."

"Don't sell yourself short, my dear, I cannot take any credit, you have great talent, I am sure you will make a 'wonderful' bride!"

"Oh my! But, I don't think-..."

"Shampoo think too! Tell when ready, Shampoo want be Best Friend for wedding!"

"What?"

"Of course, Shampoo-chan, you are more than a friend, you are practically family, I love you like one of my sisters! I hope we can always be friends!"

Ryu did not think they were both on exactly the same page, but was not sure what he was missing, and figured it was none of his business anyway. "Might as well dig in..." Before he could take a bite, all attention was back on him, making him too self-conscious to eat. "What are you looking at? Is there something on my face?"

"I believe they're looking at me." The middle Tendo sister stepped out from behind the bewildered young man.

"What are YOU doing here?" Ryu turned back to look at the voice's owner.

Sitting down next to the confused teen, Nabiki took the plate out of his unmoving hands. "Oh, that's so easy I won't even charge you for the answer, 'dinner'! Thanks, Sis!"

"Here you are, Ryu-kun, another plate?"

"Um, thanks ...I think."

"Itadakimasu!"

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Tofu sat on the porch, head in his hands, lamenting his failures until Ukyo returned to inform them that nobody was home. It seemed as if he could do nothing correctly when it came to Kasumi, no matter what he tried. "...How many years am I going to fail at this?"

"How...?"

"...Many...?"

"...Years...?"

"...Ya been tryin'?"

With each word, the doctor's voice grew ever softer with each word. "It started not long after I opened my practice here, when their family started to come to me for their medical needs."

"And when was that?"

"Well, let me see, I suppose it will be seven years this Summer."

"Ya been here fer seven years?"

"Oh, no, that was when then Tendos first came to my office."

"Just how old ARE you, anyway?"

The two women could barely make words out of the low mumbles that fell out of his mouth.

"How...?"

Hinako's eyes went wide. "REALLY? I thought you were closer to my age..."

"..And how old is that?"

"Only a delinquent asks a woman's age...!" She leaned in, menacingly waving a coin in her hand.

"THAT young, huh? My, oh my, ...I never would have thought." Tofu eye's went wide as the overt threat.

"Ya got no idea..."

"What was that?"

"Nuthin'! We're not here ta talk about us, this is all about'CHA! Ya an' yer future happiness!"

"What 'happiness'? Are you sure that what Ranma-kun had to do, was NOT a date with Kasumi-chan?"

"WHAT? NO! THAT CAN'T BE! ...Ah mean 'ya can't give up'! We, er Ah mean, ya worked so hard, ya've been through so much! There's no way ya kin give up now! Ya gonna let that two-timing jerk get away with takin' yer dream girl?"

Hinako was starting to think that it might be for the best that he was unable to fulfill his dream, especially considering when he had first 'had' it, but with how strongly Ukyo had reacted, she decided to bite her tongue ...for now.

"Ya can't give up now! Go home, we'll take th' rest a' th' night off, an' start fresh tamarrah!" Ukyo was feeling desperate, these things always seemed to happen whenever her plans included the help of some other love-struck fool! As the old saying went, if you wanted something done right... unfortunately for her, in this case, 'doing it herself' was not an option! Ukyo took his spot on the porch as they watched him walk away, neither of them sure what to do next.

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The sandwiches Ranma's mother had given them for lunch had been a nice change from the usual take-out and campfire cooking that Ryu was used to eating, though it was nothing when comparing it to the meal the three women had prepared together! It had easily been the best meal he had ever eaten in his life, and considering that they had brought it from home, as opposed to making it in his non-existent kitchen, amazed him. While he managed to remain stoic on the outside, internally, he was on the verge of tears. It just was not fair! He barely even remembered his own mother, let alone how her cooking tasted, and here this guy was getting pampered by his, and several other girls, while he could not even get a date!

His silent reflection on why the universe was so unjust was cut short as the delicate Kasumi asked him a question. "Can we count on you as a guest, at least until we have completed this project?"

"I-"

"Sorry Nee-chan, you can't get your hooks into this one tonight, we have plans."

"I did not mean-..." Kasumi could not believe that her own sister would accuse her of trying to be a man-eater, and then started to wonder what that might be like...

"Hey wait!" Ryu was surprised that he was suddenly being dragged away by his wrist, especially by the weaker girl.

Nabiki had spent some of her resources that day on arranging their plans for the evening, and she was not about to allow them to be ruined by a careless question. Though she had to cringe a bit when her sister shouted at them as they left. "Have fun on your date, you two!"

Nabiki continued to lead her new 'partner' until they had gotten out of their considerable earshot. "Don't try to back out now, we had a deal!"

"You know, if it is all the same to you, I would really rather NOT sleep in your school again. Don't want anyone thinking I am some kind of pervert!"

"Hey, if you do well tonight, you will be able to rent a nice room!" Seeing the questionable look he was giving her, she felt as if she needed to correct his mistake, not wanting to give him the wrong impression. "...In a ryokan, not a 'love motel', you perv! You've had dinner now, and they will serve you breakfast, so for now, let's go make some money!"

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They sat in silence, staring off into space, neither knowing how much time passed before either of them spoke. "Ya said ya never could go on a date b'fore, 'cause a' ya shrinkin', but ya ain't got that problem now, right?"

"Ah, well, if they don't mind me bringing my fishy friends along I suppose, but ...well?"

"Don't know about ya, but any guy Ah know'd do 'bout anythin' ta go out with someone 'at looks like THAT!" she indicated her teacher's voluptuous figure. "Some fish ain't gonna be a problem ta most a' 'em!"

"Perhaps, at your age with guys who would only want one thing... I know I am being too picky at my age, but I want more than that."

"What ya mean, 'at yer age'? Almost every girl at school's jealous a' ya, an' th' guys all want ya! But ya 'should' be happy with th' guy ya choose, Ah know Ah am..."

Both of them jumped at the cackle that came from behind them. "You know girls, there is a big difference between taking someone to be a lifemate, and taking a bedmate." Hopping up beside them, Cologne chuckled again. "It never hurts to get in a little practice before you settle down, it helps you to know what you are really looking to find. It is hard to find what you want, when you are looking for the wrong thing."

"Whadayaknowaboutit?"

"A lot more than you think, it seems. There's no reason you both can't take a good spin on that one. Oh ...the stories I could tell you..."

That was a topic Ukyo did NOT want stuck in her mind, and decided to make a hasty retreat, hoping to catch Ranma while he was still awake for once! "Um, well, Ah gotta go, things ta do, people ta see..."

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It was not as if Ryu was against fighting for money, generally it was just the fact that he rarely ever had anything to bet, and even when he did, many of the underground fighting pits would not allow a fighter to bet on their own fights, so he wouldn't have been able to really profit from it anyway. On top of that, he was in a VERY bad mood and this was the perfect way to work out his frustrations. What he did NOT like, was that many other people were making a lot more money off of his fighting, than he was, from the people who ran the betting pools and the other gamblers, all the way down to his nominal 'manager'.

He really resented that last bit, this little girl, who knew nothing about him, was doing almost nothing, and making a small fortune on his back! Unfortunately for him, he knew he did not have a lot of other options, only graduating the obligatory middle school requirements would not get you very far in most fields these days.

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By the end of the far too short 'fight', Ryu was starting to feel a bit better, but was still feeling more than a little frustrated and was itching for another light workout. Having to spend the day watching his supposed rival being pawed by beautiful women had him seeing green.

He managed to arrange a second fight, that, while taking a bit longer than the first, had barely registered over his internal grumbling. For his third, he demanded to go above his weight class, and managed to get a fight in the 'Non Applicable' Weight Class. They tried explain some rule changes for this fight, though he was still far to distracted to pay much attention, and just waved them off...

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? For the third time tonight, our newcomer is returning to the ring, this time, stepping up with the big boys!" The announcer had to pause as the crowd erupted into cheers. "What do you think? Can the newbie survive the ultimate, no moves barred, fight to the finish?" The room filled with both cheers and jeers, the side supporting him growing a bit as Nabiki poked him, and told him to wave at the audience.

"'Who', might you ask, 'is going to step up and test our newcomer'? ...That's right! Everyone welcome last week's champion, the man known only as, 'The ...DOJO ...DESTROYER'!"

The cheers went up as entire arena shook with each step the living mountain of a man took while lumbering toward the fighting pit. Almost being knocked off of his feet when the large fighter jumped down to join him, Ryu truly noticed the guy he was to fight. A man who not only towered over his own two meter height, but also out massed him by many times, and carrying a arm-full of wooden signs in each arm.

"Remember folks, this is a 'no holds barred' match! That means ANYTHING GOES! It's sure to be messy, and it IS NOT too late to get your bets in now, so hurry! We can't keep these titans from killing each other for long! The only rule is, if you leave the ring for any reason, you lose! Otherwise, it is not over, until one of them concedes, or is unable to continue! Get your bets in now! Since this was an unplanned fight, we will hold the windows open for just a bit longer!"

Ryu could not believe his eyes, he had heard tales of giants, Oni, and their like, however he never expected they were real, never mind meeting one on the arena! Too shocked to make the first move, he barely managed to dodge the wooden signs as they flew toward him. "What in the hell are you supposed to be?"

"Practicing." The ground shook as he took a starting sumo pose. "I got beaten a while back, by a little red-headed girl, and I saw that I had a long way to go yet."

"You let a little girl beat you?" This time is was his own guffawing that almost caused Ryu to lose his balance.

A mistake that caused him to take a number of frontal attacks from speedy signs. "Pay attention, little man, or you won't pose much of a challenge." The area filled with cheers and laughter, with many enjoying the sight of the man who cost them their earlier bets preparing to take a sound beating.

"Now, LET'S GET REEEEEAAAAADY TO RUUUUUUUUUMBLE!"

As Ryu began to regain his footing, the large man started earning his name by rocking back and forth, stomping from one foot to the other, and shaking the whole arena, which caused Ryu to further stumble. "I thought you wanted to fight. Where is all of that tough attitude from before?"

"RIGHT HERE!" The master of the Yamasenken launched himself forward, taking the momentary pause to try to catch his opponent off guard. While the other man did not move, he was not entirely sure his ki shout worked as intended because it felt worse than hitting a brick wall, which was something he could smash through rather easily actually. "Ow!"

Looking down at his foot, or rather his ankle, and seeing that everything below there had sunk into the overly large belly of the enormous ...man? "Well, at least you are trying now."

For all of the padding, it had felt as his foot had struck solid metal underneath, and that made him thankful the cushioning had been there. However, he could not get his foot free, and that was preventing him from dodging the hamfist rocketing toward him. There was a 'popping' sound the huge fist connected with him, and his foot was freed. The subsequent joy was short lived, as the pain from not only the blow, but also crashing into the hard wall, caught up with him along with a 'bonging' sound! He was glad that at least he did not fly out of the arena, he certainly did not want to lose that way!

"Are you done yet little man?"

Ryu managed to pull himself out of the dent he left in the thick metal wall, as he steadied himself, trying to get his bearings. He was not sure what ability the other man could be using to make himself all fuzzy like that, but he assumed it was similar to some kind of invisibility technique...

As the blurry blob plodded ever closer, Ryu's vision started to clear up, and he felt an attack incoming. A 'chain' of signs came flying at him, as if they were tied together, and he had to quickly throw everything he had into dodging, to avoid getting pummeled. The signs started to whip around the fighting pit, and Ryu found himself in the unusual position of having to play the role of the smaller, faster fighter. Standing almost a head over many of his countrymen, he was usually the Goliath, not the David in these battles, and he was having to think on his feet.

It only took getting pummeled by the signs a few times before he realized that they had said no techniques were banned in this fight, and that meant... "Kijin Raishuu Dan!" He started flinging vacuum blades with reasonable precision, taking out a sign or two with each one. While he was able to use them in here, he still had to be careful not to let any get away from him with so many bystanders, if even one went outside of the pit, it could be a bloodbath.

"That's better, I was starting to think I wouldn't get any exercise. I'll admit, you might be 'almost' as good as that little girl, too bad for you, I've improved!" The huge man spun around, swinging a sign in each hand like a propeller, and kicking up a wind that threatened to lift Ryu off of his feet.

"GEIMON TESSEN SHI!" Ryu reinforced his fingers with his ki and drove them into the stone floor, holding on with everything he had, trying not to get blown out of the arena. "WHO? What kind of 'little girl' could beat me?"

"I'm pretty sure it was Ranma-kun's cursed form!" Nabiki helpfully added, still surprised to be seeing the Dojo Destroyer again in such a place.

"Why is it always THAT guy?" Ryu's aura flared up and steadily grew, his jealousy of the past several days boiled to the surface and exploded. "Kijin-Gun Dai Ranbu!" Ryu was careful to aim all of his vacuum blades in front of him, and not angling any of them upwards.

Unable to dodge the onslaught, the slow-moving man wrapped himself in his wooden signs, using them as a form of ki-reinforced armor. The Dojo Destroyer fell over, and smiled as the attacks passed overhead before he started rolling toward the younger man. "Barrel Roll!"

In his anger and adrenaline fueled state of mind, the world seemed much slower to him, so he easily flipped over the 'steamroller' before landing a powerful kick on him from the other side, increasing his velocity, and causing the enormous man to get lodged in an indention created where he slammed into the wall. "You think you can get me like that? Everything is just so easy for you isn't it?"

"Huh? Easy?" Struggling to even move, the larger man had to brace himself as the blows rained down upon him.

The red of his anger mixed with the green of his jealousy, and colors faded from the world. No longer could he see anything outside of a very large target, one that was suddenly wearing a pigtail and needing a good beating! "You bastard! Are you TRYING to ruin my life? As if my broken dojo wasn't enough! You just chew people up and spit them out again, you're like a sponge, you take, take, take, and drain others of their emotion! I've had enough!"

Ryu had not heard the bell, the announcer, nor even the crowd, in fact he had not even been aware that his opponent had lost consciousness several strikes ago. "You effeminate BASTARD!"

"I doubt that guy will be moving any time soon..."

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Nabiki had to admit, she was impressed with the ferocity displayed by her ostensible employee, and more than that, how much money he had 'earned' her that night! She had managed to also gets sizable bets in on his other two, unscheduled, fights, and was not sorry to have made it in time to place the extra wagers! It was good to be the queen!

Despite not having taken any blows to the head, the taller lad was still fairly disoriented, so she had been leading him around as they walked, and she was mildly concerned he might pull a 'Ryoga' and disappear. She assumed that if he was anything like Ranma, that he likely worked up an strong apatite even if they 'had' eaten beforehand, and felt like it was a good idea to grab some take-out as they walked. Considering her excitement, the rest of her plans for the evening, and the fact that she never turned down food when 'someone else was buying', it seemed like a snack was in order for her as well.

"Hey! This i'n't th' way back to th' school..."

"Nope, I feel like celebrating, and you are going to join me!"

"Eh? Wuh?"

"Don't worry about it, just follow me and keep acting stupid!"

"Act, wha...?"

"Yes, just like that!" She led him into a hotel that she had heard very good things about, not only did it have plenty of amenities, but their rooms were a bargain!

Entering the building, they were greeted by an energetic teen in a short yukata. "Welcome to Kimi Ryokan, the best hotel in Ikebukuro! How may we service you tonight?"

An older woman slapped the plucky young girl on the back of her head with a chiding sound. "What did I tell you about modesty?" Getting down on her knees, she bowed to the newcomers. "I am terribly sorry for the impertinence of my granddaughter, the folly of youth. However, if you would be so kind as to follow us over here, I am certain that we can take care of any need that you may have."

Accompanying the pair to the counter, she went into her best impression of her older sister. "Yes, I certainly do hope so! I am Tendo, Nabiki, with Heaven's Way Productions, and we work together." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "Unfortunately, this guy had a bit too much to drink at our meeting and I do not know the address, I don't even know what train goes the right direction, so you can see, I am in a fix... It is not as if I can show up at my place with a man even if getting there would be easy! Someone might think... Oh my!"

The older woman glanced slyly between the two, and smiled with a wink. "I completely understand, Honored Customer, you are in excellent hands. Our bath water comes from a healing volcanic spring, they say it does wonders for the ...stamina. Now, will this be one room or two"

"Oh my, just the one, I did not plan to, stay- ...Did you say volcanic baths? I guess I could stay for a little while... You'll keep this just between us young girls, right? I wouldn't want anyone to think anything ...improper happened. Whatever would people think?"

"Oh, of course, my dear! What happens at the ryokan, stays at the ryokan! Our honored customers privacy is one of our highest priorities! Is that not correct, child?"

The snickering maid tried to sober up as she rubbed her side where the older woman elbowed her. "Yes, Honored Grandmother, not here, nope!"

Shaking her head, the hostess silently prayed to her ancestors for patience. "Just show the couple to their room!"

"HAI! Follow me, I'll take you to the nicest room we have! ...Over here is the bathing area, and I will bring your yukata to your room in a moment, thank you very much!"

After a long soak in the baths, the two were back in the room, and alone for the first time. Nabiki eyed her temporary roommate, and found there were some advantages to a 'jock' guy. "Oh well, about time we got down to business."

"Huh? What are you talking about? Aren't we done for today? Thought you said you were leaving anyway..." Ryu had been starting to feel better thanks to the long dip, but seeing Nabiki in her yukata did absolutely nothing to help his relaxation, and it made him suddenly much more self-conscious about the situation.

"Don't be a stick in the mud. First thing's first, here is your cut from the night." Handing over the envelope, she grinned at the way his eyes got wide when he opened it and started counting.

"...But this is ...more than a million yen! ...This is MINE?"

"I told you that you would be happy with your cut, and Nabiki Tendo doesn't lie!"

"I've ...never even SEEN that much money! I won't need to worry about funds forever, thank you!"

Taking a seat, she crossed her legs, exposing a good bit of one of them as she did. "Not as long as you might think, but that's a good thing, after the way you beat that guy, I doubt they will let us back there any time soon, and no one will be willing to fight you for a while anyway. But they DID give you a stage name ...Kigaku-Ryu!" She enjoyed his grimace, and the fact that he could not take his eyes off of her exposed leg. She did love the attention, and there was nothing quite like the feeling of power she got while teasing a boy, especially someone like Ranma! ...She missed toying with him.

All of the time they had spent together recently, he had been far too preoccupied in his own affairs to care about anything else, and he never noticed how stunning Nabiki's figure really was! It was so distracting, he had barely even registered being called 'Crazy Ryu'! "Wow! I, I, uh, if that's just 'first'? What else did we have to do?"

Reaching into one of the bags she had with her, the young woman pulled out a bottle of sake, and pointed to the cups. "This!"

"Where did you get THAT? Aren't you underage?"

"Hush... I picked it up at the arena, along with our winnings, and you are going to help me drink it. As I told you before, you earned us a lot of money, and I want to celebrate! So, are you going to take responsibility for what you did and get those cups, or do I have to get up and do it myself?"

Realizing that if she did, that would mean that the yukata would once again cover her leg and that she might not sit in the same position again, his young male hormones kicked in, and he was instantly on his feet! "HAI!"

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After nearly scrubbing herself raw and dousing herself in a perfume she had gotten from Konatsu, Ukyo felt the need to be sneaky as she made her way to Ranma's currently occupant-free room. Her pride and joy overwhelming her as she slipped into his futon. If she were thinking more clearly, she might have had second thoughts about removing the nightgown she had been wearing. As it was, she was far too lost in her fantasies to consider the ramifications of such a plan. She had no idea how much time passed, but hearing a noise brought her mostly back to reality ...mostly. 'RANCHAN!'

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"Have either of you seen Saotome-kun? I am sure Saotome-san will be ...'disappointed' if we are not all there together?"

"Knowing Ranma-kun, I would say training, we did not have much time for it this week, after all."

"Why no tell? Shampoo always help Airen train!" Even Hinako found herself moved by the younger girl's pouting face.

Kasumi reached out, and rested her hand on her friend's shoulder. "I know how you feel, I too want to help, however I know at this point I would just be in the way, and the last thing I would want to be is a hindrance to Ranma-kun's training." She placed a bit extra emphasis on the last part of her statement, hoping the younger girl would understand her meaning.

Shampoo was not happy about that implication, and had it been anyone else who said it, she might have started a fight, but worst of all, she could not deny the charge. Her, the village champion, the best fighter of her generation, was an ...obstacle to his progress as a warrior! That fact sat with her worst of all, there was only one thing to do in this case. She needed to 'kill' that weakness in herself, to make herself worthy of his love! She mentally debated the value of either training on her own, engaging her rival, or going to her grandmother for help...

Each of these options had advantages, by herself she could set her own pace and push herself as much as she could stand, if she had a partner it would be easier to test herself, but Ukyo was limited on time and there was no point in helping her to improve as well, although going to Cologne could be the harshest of all. While she felt like jumping into the volcano of training, burning away her weakness and emerging a hardened diamond on the other side, if she was unlucky, with her grandmother's 'help' that might very well be far more literal than metaphor. She had at least a few days before they would finish the dojo, and she did not want to jeopardize Ranma's progress there, so she had until then to decide what to do.

When they reached the end of the hallway, Shampoo turned to head away from Ranma's bedroom.

"Shampoo-chan, where are you going?"

"Is going train by self, no keep Airen up if beat back..." She turned back with a cute smile to assure her 'big sister' that everything was fine, figuring she still had the option to perfect her newest ki attack.

Kasumi gave her friend a curious look, it seemed rather unlike her to miss out on a chance to be with Ranma ...unless that was part of her plan? Something about that did not thought did sit right with her for some reason, and it was more than just the idea that someone close to her might have attempted to mislead her. Not being able to figure out what the strange feeling had meant, she decided to do what she always did, give her friend the benefit of the doubt, and not worry about it.

The two women continued on around the corner, and into the room that they had been talked into somewhat sharing with a young man, something neither of them would have believed had anyone suggested such a scandalous thing to them not that long ago. At least they knew they had done nothing else beyond sleeping, yet there was still a tantalizing element of impropriety that was making it difficult to ...resist.

Seeing Hinako sitting near the night light as she began to read, Kasumi decided since they needed to get up early in the morning, there was no point in waiting and climbed into the futon. She saw that someone was under the covers, and did not want to disturb them. Assuming that this must have been where Ranma had gone, she figured he must have been awfully tired to have come straight to bed without even changing back first! Though she wondered what could have happened to make him smell like flowers...

Ukyo felt the soft body next to hers, and while she wondered why Ranma had come to bed as a girl, she was too excited to let that stop her plan! She rolled over, having to readjust her aim, as nothing was where she had expected, but she was too enthusiastic to worry about the details.

Kasumi was surprised to feel the arm and leg wrap around her, Ranma must surely be tired to be tossing and turning like that! She stiffened up at the places those limbs had landed, even if she knew Ranma would not do such a thing intentionally, it was still embarrassing to have someone grabbing her there! All of this was made worse as the hand started rubbing, and worse of all, it felt strangely ...good!

Ukyo was happy that Ranma was not resisting her, it proved that he loved her! She started to feel a bit more bold with every stroke, with each heavy breath, and she nuzzled in closer, glad that it was just the two of them for a change. Ignoring the small booms they started to hear in the background, Ukyo decided to give it her all and rolled over on top of the person in her arms, planting a big kiss on their lips!

"Oh, oh, oh my, Ranma-kun! You are being so forward!"

"What'd I do, Ka- Ka- Ka- Kasumi-san...?" Seeing his nude childhood friend, sucking face with his other friend, her hands running under the other young woman's silk chiffon nightgown, was one of the absolute last things he could have anticipated. He was far more prepared to have a gang jump out of the shadows with weapons, than to see a live sex show! In fact, he had lost count of the number of times he had been jumped by people attacking him from the shadows, while he could count the number of times he had walking in on someone having sex in his room on his fingers and have nine left over. That was to say, the number of times he could remember anyway.

"RANCHAN? Tendo-san!" Turning her head to the side, she started to spit, hoping to get rid of the sweet taste in her mouth.

"Ranma-kun? Kuonji-san! What are YOU doing?" Kasumi had no idea how to handle what had just happened, she had been enjoying when she thought it had been Ranma, and that made her feel tingly, warm, loved, and several levels of guilty. However, now she felt a bit ill, and even MORE guilty!

"I'M-SORRY-TA-INTERRUPT!" Closing the door as quickly as possible, Ranma ran as if his life depended upon it!

"WAIT! RANCHAN! COME BACK! IT AIN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!"

"OH MY! Do you think Ranma-kun got the wrong idea?"

"Look'it whatcha did now!"

"What 'I' did? But, I did not do anything!"

"Exactly! Why'd ja lemme do that, why didn'tcha tell meh ya weren't Ranchan?"

"I thought YOU were Ranma-ku-..."

"AH KNEW IT! Ya ARE afta' mah Ranchan!"

"Oh, no! It's just that ...was tired ...did not want to wake-... Oh my! I just-..."

"Don't wanna hear it! Gotta go get Ranchan, gotta explain! Yes! That's it, explain, it's all a misunderstandin'! Could a' happen ta anyone, yes, that's good..."

Watching the younger girl bolt out of the room gave her a moment's pause, wondering if that were wise... Straightening her negligee and running her hands through her hair, she hurried after her, deciding at the last moment to grab something before she left the room.

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Having just blown up her latest practice dummy, Shampoo looked around for her next target, when she heard a voice from down in the yard. "RAAANCHAAAAN! WHERE'D YA GO?"

Following the voice, she saw her primary adversary, running out of the house, NAKED! "What that one do, go after Airen like that? We have deal! Guess Shampoo find new thing shoot... Good thing practice, usual one no go far enough." Concentrating, she gathered her aura in the palms of her hands and fired off a strangely feline shaped blast of ki. "Qi Mau Quan!"

Seeing Ukyo's 'deer in the headlights' reaction, Shampoo did not waste a moment, and followed her attack by jumping down to ground level. Landing where the other girl stood a moment before, she waited for her pull herself out of the tree she had been knocked into. "Why is breaking deal?"

"Ah wasn't! Ah didn't! Ah'm not!"

"Admit, is chasing Ranma!"

"Well, yeah... but, it ain't why ya think!"

"No? How can say, when look like that?"

"Like 'what'?"

"No feel ...cool breeze?"

"What?" Ukyo paused, looking down, and realizing what she was not wearing, she squatted down, hugging her knees to her chest. "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"Aiyaa! What problem? Shampoo see many time already, no is impressed. Now, explain what doing! Try cheat Shampoo, make pay!"

"All right, Ah know it looks bad, but I gotta explain ta Ranma first..."

"You really ought to not go anywhere dressed like that!" Kasumi wrapped a blanket around the embarrassed chef. "A lady should not flaunt themselves like that, it is just not proper."

Getting a silly grin on her face, Shampoo stuck out her tongue. "Is what make so fun!"

"But, Ah GOTTA catch Ranchan! Gotta explain this mess..."

Hands and eyes glowing in the darkness, she presented a menacing visage. "Explain to Shampoo first, what do to Husband?" Seeing Kasumi blush at her question did nothing to alleviate her misgivings.

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NOTES

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In case you did not get it, red and green are opposites on the color wheel, and when mixed, make gray, so I was saying that when Ryu was both seeing red and green, his world went gray.

I apologize to the Kimi Ryokan. While this is a real hotel, everything about it (other than possibly being a nice place for good prices), was fictional, and (as far as I know) they do not have any perverts or spies on staff! Nor, would I assume, they tolerate such behavior in their employees or customers. I do not even believe they have actual booths, but rather small tables.

Tune in Next time for, 'And It's One, Two, Three, What Are We Fighting For?' or 'Drunken Debauchery'.


	24. Chapter 24

Sorry again about last time, I figured there would be some plot holes I needed to fix, but that was just sad. The price I pay for rushing out these shorter chapters I guess. It took me three days to get that done, and in my rush, I forgot my notes and other silliness, it's 'finally' fixed now if you missed it.

Warning: This story is not going to clean your room.

Chapter 24 - Disciplinary Dating

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Cologne was happy to have finally met Ranma's mother, though she was surprised that they had returned so late in the evening. After a round of apologies and introductions, they sent the youngsters to bed, and the much younger woman invited her in for tea. The conversation between the two was an interesting battle between Nodoka trying to learn what she could about Ranma's love life, while Cologne did her best to point out her granddaughter's finer points, and how they have helped his training.

"So, you say my son is quite the skilled fighter, eh? That 'is' interesting, but what about girlfriends? How many of them do you know?"

"A few more than I would care to admit, to be honest."

"That IS pretty honest. What can you tell me about them? History, experiences, how long did you say your granddaughter was one of them?"

Even centuries of practice on the High Council was not enough to prevent her from almost choking on her tea. She had been informed that it was extremely important for Ranma's mother to think of him as 'manly', however she was starting to think her ideas on the topic were a bit different than she would have expected. "Well, let me see, they were married while still in our village, back in China-..."

"MARRIED? Oh no, no, no, that just will not do!"

"I assure you that-..."

"A boy's mother should be at the wedding! No, we will need to have some sort of ceremony here, and then they can all go on the honeymoon!"

Cologne was starting to think she had finally gotten too old, and crossed over to see HER ancestors, was she hearing things? "I don't think-..."

"Oh, no, I must insist! This is non-negotiable, no matter what happens, we WILL have another ceremony! ...no matter WHAT I have to do to pay for it if necessary!"

"Well, that much will not be a problem, as I was saying, I don't think Shampoo would be unhappy to follow Japanese traditions and have another ceremony. We have watched many Japanese and western examples on the television box, since arriving here. Anything to formalize that promise between them. We are a simple people, and our tradition does not require great formality. In fact, many find a need to perform them on the battlefield."

"Oh dear ...how romantic!"

"Well, yes, I suppose it can be... Although-..."

"But, how did your granddaughter have a wedding, without consummating it?"

"Well, I admit, there IS still that one last hurtle... But I-..."

"That does present us with our main problem. My husband seems to have left a lot to be desired in certain areas of my son's ...education, and that has left me with some concerns."

"Ah, yes, well, no offense intended, but we do not hold that man in very high regard. Genma Saotome has been the source of much misery, in the lives of many people, a number of whom call my village home." 'And don't get me started on that old fool of a master of theirs!'

"Is that so? I see... I have heard some of the stories, but my son is not very forthcoming with details, a bit too shy I am afraid. It seems I must apologize for my family once again. May I ask what debts we owe you?"

"Nothing you really need to concern yourself with, aside from my granddaughter. While there are still many hard feelings on the part of a few people, the law was forgiven once your son, and by extension the rest of you, became members of our tribe. So, let me be the first to welcome you to our culture."

This was news to Nodoka, and her eyebrows rose in surprise. "Oh dear! What does that mean?"

"Well, for starters, it means that by law, you are no longer treated as 'outsiders', and the law regarding them doesn't apply to you any longer, making things much easier on many levels, laws dealing with outsiders can be ...harsh, for 'both' parties. Also being honorary members by marriage, you will not be expected to follow our laws, unless you choose to live within our borders."

"I see... I suppose that is good..."

"Yes, yes, nothing to worry about, with them all getting along so well these days, I am sure all is going just fine."

"That is difficult to say, as I said, my son's education on a number of topics was sorely lacking, and a husband needs to know what to do with a wife, before a marriage can be a success, believe me, I know."

As they were talking, they heard female voices screaming Ranma's name and a blissful grin crept across Nodoka's face.

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Shampoo could not stop herself from laughing at her rival's failure in trying to seduce her husband, even if she did feel sorry for Kasumi having been the target of her ministrations. The relief she felt upon learning that Ukyo had not taken Shampoo's job of molesting Ranma, combined with the humor she saw in the other girl's failure, made it difficult to control herself, even after seeing Kasumi's embarrassed disappointment. "Is sorry, Onee-chan, can't help!"

"Yeah, yeah, but Ah don't see ya doin' no better!"

"Is wanting see? We had deal, so was waiting, but now give Shampoo reason try."

"NO!"

"Oh? What deal is this?" Both of the younger girls started to panic.

Thinking quickly on her feet, Shampoo instinctively covered for them. "Make deal, no try too hard with Ranma while we is working so hard. Pancake-girl no can handle school, working, and Ranma, spread too thin, Shampoo promise no is trying until finish dojo."

"Well, that is nice, you are all working very hard and I am proud of you, but you should learn to relax, I do not wish to see a repeat of this evening at any point again in the future. Now let us all go back to bed, and forget that any of this EVER happened!"

"Shampoo no can forget..." Bursting into laughter again, she needed to clutch her sides and had trouble staying upright. That is to say, she HAD trouble until she caught the flash of what seemed to be a sharp look from her 'older sister' Kasumi, but that could not be! Could it?

"Yes, well, shall we?"

"But ...gotta find ...Ranchan" Ukyo was desperately looking around, trying to find any way to escape.

Appearing to loose focus for a moment, Kasumi softened her gaze toward the shorter girl. "I do not believe you have to worry about that now. Come on, you need to get cleaned up again after being out here like that. You are a mess."

Kasumi did not allow Shampoo to leave while she was helping a chided Ukyo get cleaned, though she was unable to prevent the snickering. None of them were thrilled about the time taken, even if Shampoo seemed to stay ...amused. By the time they were on their way back to the room, she had a difficult time restraining them.

Upon opening the door, they were all quite surprised to see Hinako curled up next to Ranma, hugging his arm, both of them already asleep in the futon!

Ukyo stiffened at the scene, fuming a bit about 'that traitor'! However, when she moved to join them, Shampoo stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Tonight is Shampoo turn on top."

"Yeah, but, that's supposed ta be MAH spot!" Ukyo pointed toward her homeroom teacher, and before she even followed her own finger with her eyes, Kasumi had climbed in on the other side. "What? Hey..."

"Shampoo no care! Next time, no is cheaty." By the time she had finished speaking, her clothing had been removed, and she was gently crawling under the blanket from the foot of the bed, sliding her way over Ranma's sleeping form. Tempting as it was, she did not pause halfway, as the desire to savor the look upon Ukyo's face was far too much to resist.

Ukyo fumed as she tried to look for an opening, but did not like her prospects. Shampoo was not going to give her a centimeter on top, and she wanted to be as far away from that OTHER woman as she could, that was to say while still being near Ranma! Sleeping by his head was too risky, far to close to HER, and the foot of the bed was even worse! What was she, a dog? Not in THIS universe! No, there was only one option she could see, she covered Hinako's fishbowl with a thin cloth before laying down next to her, just waiting for the space between her and Ranma to decrease.

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"That! ...waaas wOoonderful..." Nabiki rolled over, slid off of her 'partner', and onto the futon. "I might have to talk you into doing that again, what do 'you' think, Ryu-kun, up for another round?"

"ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz..."

"Well, isn't THAT about typical! Just for that, no bonus for the happy ending!" Though, between the fun she had been having, and the money she had 'earned' that evening, there was no venom in her voice, she was in far too good of a mood to hold it against him ...or even charge him for it!

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While Ranma had come to expect awakening in the arms of several beauties, not that it made things any easier for him, finding a denuded Hinako on top of the pile, right next to an equally naked Shampoo, REALLY made him panic! It was only thanks to his special stealth training, that he managed to bite his tongue, and slip out to the gym without being noticed. With his only thoughts being how to escape, he failed to even notice the pile of cloth laying next to the fishbowl on his way out of the room.

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Earlier that morning, Hinako had awoken to find her little body completely smothered under several much larger ones, and she had to struggle to even breathe, let alone extract herself. She pouted upon noticing herself in her child form, she had not gotten those fighting fish for nothing! While there were many benefits to her 'condition', at least until her younger self got a good bit older anyway, she had grown to loathe it, the constant reminder that she would never really be able to live a 'normal' life. Seeing the strap of her teddy sticking out from where she had freed herself, she tried to pull it loose, but was concerned that the silk would have torn first, and left it.

Wiping the sleep from her eyes, she grumbled about her clothing never fitting correctly, when she saw her covered fishbowl, and pouted again. Why would someone be so mean to her? It was just not fair! As she lazily pulled the cloth to the floor, her fuzzy, sleep addled mind came to one conclusion. There was one person who would always be nice to her... "Oniiii-tan!"

There was plenty of room for her little body between Ukyo and Shampoo, so she quickly snuggled into the gap, and went back to sleep as she regained her full stature.

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As much as he complained about having to help someone who had tied up his mother and friend, it DID feel good to be outside doing something constructive again. With a poor excuse of a hustler for a father, he had been forced to work off the man's debts on many occasions, and found that he actually liked the labor itself. There was something to be said for the feeling of accomplishment for completing a project, it was almost as satisfying as learning a new technique.

Even more than that, he was rather enjoying the fact that significantly fewer females were hanging all over him, nor were they being overly confusing to him. Due to Shampoo's background and eagerness to please Ranma, she was a huge help without his other 'girlfriends' around to distract her, and she saved most of her flirting for when they took breaks, which helped Ranma work more smoothly. Kasumi had spent most of their time with Nodoka, helping to keep everything running smoothly, and it made him happy to see them getting along together. The only thing that was putting a damper on his relatively good mood, were the occasional looks he was receiving from his mother, he was unsure as to why, but they were giving him a bad feeling when ever it happened, and his instincts were generally accurate, even when he ignored them.

Still, all in all, it had been one of the most relaxing weeks of his life! Good exercise, reasonably peaceful days, and some of the best food anyone could want. With a few exceptions, most of the women he knew were really good at cooking, and Kasumi was at the top of that list, yet he had to admit, that something had changed since his mother moved in with them, and it was nice. He had no idea what it was, but he liked it! So, needless to say, he was looking forward to being called for their evening meal, and did not even mind seeing Nabiki show up just in time for another free feast. The girl certainly had a knack for timing.

"Good evening everyone, Ryu-chan." Walking up to the table, she threw her arms around his neck, kissing him lightly on the cheek as all eyebrows raised in response. "Doing well I hope?"

"Don't call me that!"

"Don't sweat the small stuff, Ryu-chan." Taking the seat next to him, she happily started filling her plate, completely ignoring his grumbling protests.

"Well, ya seem ta be in a good mood, who'd ya blackmail this time?"

"Blackmail is such an ugly word ...I prefer extortion, the 'x' makes it cool!"

"Ya didn't answer th' question..."

"No one, why, do you have any good leads? Is there a reason I shouldn't be 'happy'? You seem to be in a pretty good mood lately too, Ranma-kun."

"Well, I guess it's nice ta be workin' with my hands again..."

"Really, is that ALL there is to it?"

"Shampoo know other things can do to 'work with hand'!"

"What, like a new technique?"

"Could say, 'yes'..."

"Hahaha! You should go for it, Saotome-kun, I'm sure you'll love it!"

"A new technique? Can I learn it too?"

"No! Is special move, only for Ran-ma!" Shampoo stuck her tongue out at the taller boy.

"I'm sure you already know it, Ryu-chan, though I suppose you could always stand more ...practice!" She winked at him, enjoying the way he blushed.

"Hey, I told you not to call me that!"

"Exactly, and I do not take orders, not from you, nor anyone else."

"Okay then, please, will you stop calling me that?"

Nabiki gave him a hard look, as if she were weighing the fate of the universe, before quickly responding, "No." She gave him a wink and stuck her tongue out at him, loving the way he twisted under her thumb.

Ryu was not happy about that, and grumbled about it to himself, but was starting to realize he was not going to get anywhere by asking, so he tried to come up with other options.

"If you want me to do something for you, you need to incentivize me, Big Boy."

All of the women present stared at the pair, watching the way he blushed from their interactions. They were raptly paying attention to the 'soap opera' before them, each trying to ascertain the details without being rude by asking.

Shampoo could not help but feel a twinge of jealousy over 'the mercenary' having done so well for herself in such a short time, especially in light of how long she had been pursuing her own love! She was certain the older girl was intentionally rubbing her nose in it as well, it was just SO obvious to her! 'Stupid Ranma! Why no play with Shampoo?'

Kasumi cautiously watched her sister out of the corner of her eye, wondering why she was acting so friendly with Ryu. She knew her sister better than most suspected, and she was well aware of her habits, so she had to wonder how genuine her apparent affection toward the young man could be. Was there an ulterior motive, or were they really ...in love? 'Oh my!' She blushed, confused as to why an image of Ranma carrying her across the rooftops suddenly flashed through her mind again.

Nodoka just loved watching young people in ...well, lust anyway. Like many young girls, she had dreamt of being swept off her feet by a handsome samurai, who would shower her with love and affection... Just because her dreams came crashing down around her, along with the rest of her life, did not mean that she had lost hope that the next generation would do better than her ...even if it meant lots of meddling on her part!

Nabiki was enjoying the feeling of power, not only did she have Ryu tied around her little finger, but she could use that fact to taunt Ranma and the other women in his life. They spend all of their time chasing after Mister Hard-to-get, when all it really took was a bit of effort at the right time! She always 'knew' she was better than all of them, if she had followed though with her original intention of snagging the boy for herself, things would have progressed much more quickly! They certainly would not have been dragging things out for so many 'seasons', one just needed to know what one wanted, take things into one's own hands, and know which 'buttons' to press! Now she was enjoying rubbing their collective noses in it, she even beat her perfect sister! Following everyone's gaze as theirs shifted toward Ranma, she grinned, just waiting for the fireworks to begin.

Ranma felt the glares turning his way, and started to shift uncomfortably in his chair. He was starting to wonder if he had eaten something he should not have, changed colors, or looked at someone wrong. "What'd I do?"

"No is what do, is what NO do!"

"Huh?"

"It is not nice to ignore a girl, Ranma-kun."

"But..."

"To refuse to eat, when the dinner-table is set, is a grave insult." Nodoka looked down at her son, it was not manly to keep a lady waiting!

"What? When? I would never! ...Wait, are we talkin' 'bout Akane? That ain't fair! Ya ain't seen that food, it's poison!"

Everyone turned to stare at Nabiki as she guffawed, almost spitting out her food.

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"Kasumi, my dear, let me ask you something, has my boy ever done anything, with you or any of the other girls, like maybe..." Nodoka leaned in to whisper into Kasumi's ear, causing the younger woman to blush from head to toe.

For her part, the eldest Tendo sister almost dropped the plate she was drying. "Oh my, NO, Ranma-kun would never do anything debauched like that!"

Nodoka's mood darkened, confusing the younger woman. "Oh dear, that is too bad, not very promising at all."

"Oh my, whatever could be the problem...?"

"I do believe that it is time that we begin bridal training..."

"Very well, shall I go get Shampoo-chan...?" Kasumi turned to go, and was surprised to hear Nodoka stop her.

"No. As much as I believe the girl might need some training, you are the one I feel would benefit the most from my tutelage."

BRIDAL TRAINING? Of all the people she knew, she was the LAST person she thought needed that! It was not as if she had any prospects anyway, certainly others had more of a need. "But, A- ...Mother, I already know how to cook and care for the house, I have been a housewi-..."

"Tisk, tisk, we do not talk back to our elders, young lady. None of us are so skilled that we cannot benefit from the advice of others."

A chided Kasumi lowered her head as she blushed, ashamed of her presumptiveness. "...Yes mother..." Turning around, she wondered what she could possibly have to learn...

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Kasumi was amazed by the number of tricks she had been able to pick-up from Nodoka, she had never really gotten too creative with her recipes, generally preferring to emulate her mother's style exactly, since it made her father so happy, though perhaps that no longer needed to be her top concern any longer... Not that she had any intention of drastically changing her cooking style, but it certainly could not hurt to expand her repertoire. There must be something to it since Ranma surely seemed to enjoy the food more when his mother helped her to prepare their meals...

Now why did that thought make her feel uncomfortable? Certainly it was good for Ranma to be happy, was it not? Thinking about others being in a good mood normally lightened her own, so why did it darken for a moment? Did she do something that was wrong, was she missing something? She supposed that all she could do was to keep trying, and swore to redouble her efforts at whatever training her elder thought was necessary.

Feeling better about herself, having made her vow, she opened the door, and stepped into Ranma's darkened room, noticing the sleeping bodies in the futon they had been sharing lately. After neatly folding her robe and placing it on the dresser, she slowly crawled into bed. She was having trouble getting comfortable, when she noticed that Ranma was not present, and that she was laying next to Hinako instead. She assumed that he would return soon, and took solace in the fact that she would be there when he returned.

It took her much longer than usual to fall asleep that evening.

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Not having slept well, Kasumi awoke earlier than usual that morning, and the first thing she noticed after rubbing her eyes, was that Ranma was still not present. Getting up to start her daily routine, Kasumi noticed that there were no signs of Ranma having been in the room, everything was exactly as she had left it, and the others were still soundly sleeping. She was starting to think that Ranma never came to bed, and that had her worried.

As she walked toward the gym, she saw light and heard sounds coming from within the kitchen. Wondering who it was, she peeked in, expecting to see either Nodoka making tea ...or perhaps Cologne, who had been joining them for some of their days' activities lately. What she saw however, was nothing like she had expected. There was Ranma, running around the kitchen! "OH MY! Ranma-kun, what are you doing?"

"Ah! Kasumi-san! Yer up already? Ain't it obvious? I'm makin' breakfast. Figured with all ya been doin', ya'd be too tired ta do it, an' I wanted ta help." He still could not get the image of her and Ukyo together in his bed out of his mind.

"Tired?" 'Did Ranma know about the 'bridal training'?' Kasumi blushed at the thought.

"Well, ya been, uh ...'busy' at night lately, so I, uh, did not want ta get in yer way!"

"Oh Ranma-kun, you could 'never' be in my way. I love having you around."

Ranma was shocked! "Wa- wa- waa- want me around? Like, in the middle?" It was strange enough to think about Ukyo and Kasumi, two girls together, but the idea that Kasumi might want him with her in that way was more than he could handle, and he promptly passed out attributing the idea to a passing dream that he refused to believe he had.

Kasumi quickly caught the food, keeping it from burning before she took Ranma's head in her lap, her hand brushing the hair out of his face, and running her finger along his jaw line. She lost track of the time as she sat there, blushing as she silently wished he were awake, and looking into her eyes.

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Ukyo was happy they had finally done as much training with Doctor Tofu as time would allow, considering that they were done building that other fellow's dojo, for whatever reason, she never did get all of the details... Once this was over, she could get back to pursuing Ranma full time! ...Well, that was after her business and school work. The young chef frowned, not happy about her own afterthought. Did he really rank third in her list of priorities? She had always thought that she put Ranma first in her life, but was that really true?

It was not as if she did not WANT to spend more time with him, but what could she do? Drop out of school and become a bum? NO! That went against every fiber of her being. Her Osakan work ethic was far too well programmed, just like her dialect, and besides, he would need her to support him, would he not? There was no way she would allow herself to depend on someone else, she was a self-sufficient woman from Kansai, and she would succeed or fail on her own merit!

That being said, it did not mean that she did not want to also have a respectable romantic life! How else would she be able to pass on her skills to the next generation? As far as she knew, she was the last in her line, her ancestors were counting on her, so she had to do both! Not to mention her father chose Ranma for her, with her help, how could she let him down? Her whole life was riding on this, but how could she manage all three? Failing at any of them is not acceptable, and would ruin her whole plan!

She would not do near as well running her business if she cannot at least graduate high school, let alone go on to a university. What would she have to pass on to her children if her business fails? Worst of all, what would be the point of any of it, if she could not marry Ranma and have his children? Everything hinged on everything else, and there was a certain order to things.

"Damn that Shampoo, always making meh rush! It jus' ain't fair!"

Konatsu stopped brushing her hair, and brought her back to the present. "Goshujin-sama, is everything all right, is there something else you need me to do?"

"What? Did Ah say that out loud? Nah, Ah jus' want this stupid thin' ta be over..." Opening her eyes, she saw Konatsu finishing up braiding her hair in the mirror, and realized something. With the red silk shirt and the braided hair, she looked like a shorter, effeminate Ranma, with brown hair! "Oh my!" Visions of what she would do in front of that mirror if she were alone, flashed through her mind, and had her trying to figure out how to buy more time to herself.

"Kuonji-kun, is anything wrong? It appears as though we are ready in here."

"Huh? Uh, yeah, Ah guess so."

"Why do you look like Ranma-kun?"

Ukyo shrugged, leaving it to Konatsu, as her 'costume department', to explain. "Goshujin-sama requested to look like a handsome young man, and ...I do not know too many of them."

"Well, you succeeded!"

"Ya don't look too bad yerself, Sensei, but ya really think ya kin really pass fer a high school girl like that?"

"Are you saying I am not still young and beautiful? Doesn't my old uniform still fit?" Hinako twirled one of her pigtails around her finger while sucking on a lollipop.

"It ain't that, exactly, it's just that-..."

"Would you rather people see you dating the 'other' me? I do not think dating a middle schooler would be better."

The scene of the two of them on a 'date', with her dressed as she was, and was horrified. "NO! It's bad enough without nobody thinkin' a' Ranchan like that!"

"All right then, let's get in there and support the doctor!" She ended her statement on one foot, in a winking pose as she tried to look cute, which just made Ukyo lower her head into her hand, feeling embarrassed for her teacher.

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Shampoo had talked her grandmother into going shopping with Nodoka, keeping her distracted, just in case. It would not do if she felt the need to step in for some reason, and while she was unsure as to why, they had the distinct impression that she might do just that! There was something about the way her husband's mother interacted with them, while she never felt as if she were being rejected, something did not seem right to her. Not that she thought her 'big sister' would try to take her husband from her, but she figured it was still better to be safe than sorry.

Now, with them having finished building Ryu's dojo, only the three of them were left at home, and she felt as if she had prepared Ranma to the best of her ability when the phone rang. Grabbing Ranma, they hid in the other room, waiting for Kasumi to answer the phone.

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"Moshi-moshi. ...Tofu-Sensei!" Unsure where the doctor had acquired their new phone number, Kasumi was a bit apprehensive, but tried to put it out of her mind. "What may I do for you this afternoon?"

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"Ka-Ka-Kasumi-chan! I-I-I-I would -was wondering if ...you, might be free, maybe, this afternoon ...for, you know, a da-da-dinner day-day-date! ...Yes, a date!" The doctor was sweating nervously, and gripping the side of his desk for support as Ukyo and Hinako stood there quietly cheering him on and hoping for the best!

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"Oh my! You want to join us for dinner? That sounds nice, what would you like me to prepare?"

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Tofu straightened his posture, trying to force his intent into his clumsy words. "No, I-I-I me-mean to a restaurant... yes, that's it!"

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"Oh, did you hear that, Tofu-Sensei wants to take us all out to eat!" Ranma-onna and Shampoo stopped listening at the wall, and fell over themselves to get into the room. "Oh my! Why are you two dressed like that?"

Each of them struck a pose, back to back, dressed as if it were Valentine's Day and they were working for a greeting card company! "Never fear, Is Cue!"

"...and I'm 'Pid'! We're th' 'Cupid Twins', and we're here ta help ya out!"

"Onee-chan, Ranma have thing need do with Shampoo, so go by self! But we help! Yes?"

"Oh my..." Well, the two of them HAD been getting along a lot better these days ...still, it felt to her that they were 'not ready', especially for such cosplay!

Glancing over at Shampoo, Ranma looked a bit frustrated. "Not that I'd know personally, but aren't dates supposed ta be just two people?"

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Tofu's head drooped at the misunderstanding before panic started to set in. "No, I did not mean all of you, exactly..." Hearing Shampoo's sing-song voice on the other end of the phone did help him relax a bit.

Ukyo was growing frustrated, gnawing on one of her throwing kote, and doing her best NOT to yell out as her resentment continued to build up. Remembering all of the times she had failed asking Ranma out herself, she started pleading to the gods. 'Why is this always so hard?' She almost punched herself when she thought that Ranma and Kasumi were both so romantically clueless that they almost deserved each other! She instantly stomped that thought down, thinking that if they DID get together, that nothing would EVER happen between them!

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"A ...da- da- da- date? Do you mean 'that' kind of da- date? But, Ranma-kun, I am not looking for anyone. I have never really even considered-..."

"Me neither, but that never stopped anyone before?"

While he DID make a good point from his perspective, for some reason, having Ranma trying to talk her into going out with someone, especially the doctor, hurt her feelings, and she was not sure why that was the case. "But, Ranma-kun, do you really want me to-..."

"I want ya ta be happy, Kasumi-san. Yer always doin' stuff ta make us happy, so we wanted ta help ya do somethin' ta make ya happy."

"Onee-chan give try! Might like, yes?"

"Um, well... I am not sure-..."

"'Sides, didn't ya tell me ta do pretty much th' same thing a while back?"

"Never know if right guy, if no try, yes?"

"Come on, Kasumi-san, don't ya deserve some fun?"

"I have fun!"

"If mean laundry and cooking, no is counting! When last time have date?"

"Um, well ...it's not that I-..."

Shampoo stomped her foot, cutely looking stern. "Onee-chan go date! Have fun!"

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"You WILL?" Tofu almost fainted when Kasumi agreed to go with him, but managed to retain most of his remaining senses. "I- I- I- I'll-..." Looking down at the piece of paper in front of him, he read the words Ukyo had written there. "I'll meet you at this address! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" Hinako and Ukyo had to bite their tongues in order to prevent laughing as he continued to bow to the phone even long after hanging it up.

"You really think them meeting there is the right choice? It's not very romantic."

"Ya really think it'd be a good idea fer them ta walk tagetha? 'Sides, if we're gonna be in disguise, it'd be hard ta follow, if we gotta meet by th' house."

"Well, looking like that, you would not be too conspicuous in that neighborhood."

"Not ta most people maybe, but Ah think ta anyone living there, an extra Ranchan might stand out! Not ta mention, Ah don't want nobody seein' Ranchan with ya lookin' like that, no offense!"

"Well, it is too late to worry about that now I suppose."

"So, let's start th' makeover!"

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Kasumi thought she had always been fairly clear that she was looking for a dapper gentleman, and while the doctor was indeed older than her, 'mature' was certainly not a word she would have used to describe him. For years she had heard people suggest to her that they should go out, and she could never understand why that was the case. She had always politely thanked them, and ignored their suggestion, though this time it had been rather difficult to do so when she had been put on the spot like that!

She knew that Ranma and Shampoo had only wanted to help her, so she was unable to refuse, they were just too cute in their little costumes, though that did not make her feel any better about the situation in which she found herself. The strangest part of it all, was that she felt 'rejected', which made no sense to her at all! Even if she had actually disliked the person who had asked her out, that would have been the opposite of what she would have expected to feel, after all, someone 'wanted' her company!

Even still, she supposed that she did need to thank Shampoo and Ranma for helping her get ready and doing her chores respectively. It WAS nice to have the day off, and with the pair of them in charge of the house, she knew she could relax and try to enjoy herself!

"KA- Kasumi-CHAN!" Doctor Tofu had been watching her approach from around a corner, waiting for her to draw near, so that he could casually appear beside her, and while he did not notice the imperceptible details, such as the light make-up and slightly different hairstyle, he was blown away by her overall appearance as she walked up the street in her light pink dress.

Facing him, the young woman bowed formally. "Ono-sensei, good afternoon to you." Seeing him standing there in his dark suit, and sunglasses hiding his eyes, had the desired effect, and Kasumi had to admit, he did look rather dashing. Perhaps this might not be so bad after all, maybe she had gotten the wrong idea about the man in the end.

"No, please, no need to be so formal, just call me 'Tofu'. Teehehehehehe..." His less than manly giggles of glee, bordering on hysterics, completely ruined his aloof image.

"If you insist, Tofu-sensei." Glancing into a window, she looked at her reflection, wondering if there was something funny about the way she looked. "You told me not to bring a picnic lunch, so what did you have planned?"

"Well... Achem! I- I was thinking we could see a movie first!"

Tofu had been surprised at how vehemently Ukyo had protested his idea of an amusement park, saying what a terrible date spot it was. He never did figure out what she meant, it seemed like a good idea to him, but she was the only one of them who had been on a whole date, so he decided to take her advice for now, and chose to take her to a movie to start. Ukyo had said it was the best place, as the darkness would help to hide his nervousness, and watching a movie means there is time to get used to being near each other without ruining it by 'saying something stupid'. Her impassioned words spoke volumes for her experience, and he could not argue the point.

Looking up toward the sign, Kasumi saw he was indicating a romantic action movie that she had been hearing good reviews from the other women in the neighborhood. What a good choice, she had been looking forward to seeing it when it was finally shown on television, but this might even be better!

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Shampoo had to admit that she was impressed, in the time it took her to put make-up on Kasumi and touch up her own, Ranma had managed to not only hang the laundry Kasumi had started earlier out to dry, but also finish all of the chores the three of them had scheduled. She knew there was a reason that many in her tribe considered it 'men's work'. Even with all of the special training she had undertaken with him, she did not think she could have done near as well herself.

As they left to follow Kasumi, she could not help but blurt out her thoughts. "Shampoo knew pick most best husband!"

She was going to say something about how silly he looked with the fake mustache he chose to wear, but decided that she did not care as long as she got to spend time with him alone, it was almost as if they were on an actual date themselves, and she planned to have it end far better than the last time she had gotten to go out with him alone. She wished she could just get right to it, but they had a pretext to justify their 'date' that had to be fulfilled first! Kasumi's safety had to take priority after all, she had seen enough of the doctor when having his fits that she knew that he could be dangerous to anyone who happened to have the misfortune of being near him at the wrong time.

Considering the look on Ranma's face when he saw her in the revealing silk evening gown she had chosen for herself, she felt as if she had won at least one victory already that day. "Nihao Ranma, is looky too too handsome this night?" Admiring the rest of his appearance, the scantily clad warrior fished for complements.

While completely missing the point, Ranma did focus on her outfit for a moment. "Uh, thanks, but, uh, wasn't th' point ta not be noticed?"

"Airen no like?" Taking a sultry pose, Shampoo cooed as she ran her finger along Ranma's jawline.

"Well, no, it ain't like that, but... I mean, I gotta, ya know, we need ta ...go, an'..."

Shampoo did not allow him to back away, and stayed in well passed his comfort zone. "We is 'pretending' go on date, look more strange, not dress for date! Suit also look nice on Airen!" Leaning in even more closely, she planted a light kiss on his cheek. "Ranma need stay close to Shampoo, no want look like stalker, yes? Play Shampoo date no is too too hard for Ranma, or is Shampoo too too much womans for Husband can handle?"

Not one to take a challenge lying down, Ranma psyched himself up for the evening ahead. "I can handle it!"

"Shampoo no can wait for to try..." With that, the pair were off, heading toward the movie house, with Shampoo not even trying to keep a low profile until they neared their destination. She wanted everyone in the neighborhood to know, she was on a date with Ranma! ...even if he was wearing that goofy 'disguise'.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi had thought it was very strange that he did not remove his sunglasses when they entered the theater, and wondered why he had not worn his regular glasses, or at least brought them for the movie. It was a puzzler to her, while they did look 'cool', it had to make watching the movie difficult... Trying to ignore her eccentric companion, the young woman focused her attention on the movie itself.

It had been far more violent than she would have preferred, though she had found herself getting into the story in spite of it. The three main characters had been friends since childhood, when they had escaped from an abusive orphanage together. Living on the streets, doing whatever was required to survive, relying on each other, they lived together, hiding in the shadows, until a failed 'job' had landed them in the hands of a strange older man. This man had given them a choice, either they could help him with a pet project, or he would turn them over to the authorities.

The younger of the boys wanted to refuse, hoping to find their own escape, to return to their old life, the older boy wanted to accept the deal hoping they could earn a place beside this man, while the girl only wanted them to be able to stay together, and the threat of them being torn apart while in the foster care system, convinced her to stay.

He made them train intensely, and it was years before they ever learned what was going to be expected of them. Once they HAD learned of their goals, the younger one had fully embraced his role, and was glad to be a part of the team. Their first mission had them using their skills to free some Chinese orphans, who had been sold into slavery due to overcrowding and lack of funding. After that mission, the only thing he supported more than their goals, was keeping their little 'family' together. Kasumi really liked that about his character, and began rooting for the energetic young idealist.

As the story progressed, the eldest of the trio began to act strangely as he grew resentful of the bond his other friends shared. He wanted to monopolize her time, and exclude the youngest of them. By the end of the movie, he had started to make intentional mistakes, getting the younger friend captured, and their benefactor compromised.

Kasumi was in tears as she watched the younger man fighting his way to freedom, and being forced to hunt down his friend for the sake of his other friend. She could barely stand to watch the final battle, but forced herself, her tears matching the actor's, as he had to make his choice, being able to save only one of his friends, as the old building came crashing down around them. Watching the two of them finally kiss at the end left few dry eyes in the theater, and Kasumi was glad she did not close her eyes for the ending.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ukyo was practically floating as they followed the pair from a distance. "Such a GOOD movie!"

"Well, it was fun, but why did you pick that particular film? Do you really think it was the best choice for this situation?"

"What's wrong? The main character reminds me of Ranchan-..."

"Exactly."

"...So who could watch that and NOT be in a good mood for a date?" Ukyo wished that Ranma had been there with her on a real date, and that they did not have to keep following the other couple!

"I don't think... Oh well, it's too late to do anything about it now."

"Jus' ya wait Ranchan, when Ah git ya home..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ranma and Shampoo had easily beat the others to the restaurant, and were able to get a booth in the back corner, where they had a reasonable view of the rest of the dining room, without being overly conspicuous themselves. Shampoo snuggled close, trying to hold Ranma's attention until their target arrived. Even if she thought his little green outfit and fake mustache made look like he was trying to dress like Mario's brother, Luigi, she would not let the opportunity pass, and he was so busy watching for Kasumi that he did not even stop her from necking. She was a bit disappointed that she had been unable to leave a hickey on his neck, but she vowed to keep trying, she would stake her claim on him with a 'love bite', eventually.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"I must thank you, Saotome-san, in all of the time we have spent here, this is the first time I have actually gone out to see the sights."

"Oh no, it is nothing. It is the least I can do for someone who has been such a big help to my only child."

"Oh no, the boy has a lot of potential and my granddaughter's interest, so it was only natural. I have high hopes for their future."

Nodoka's expression darkened slightly. "I wish I could say the same."

A confused Cologne's eyes widened in bewilderment. "What, what could be wrong?"

"Well there was-..." Out of the corner of her eye, Nodoka thought she saw Kasumi, in a cute pink dress, walking with a taller gentleman on the other side of the street, in a dark suit and glasses, looking every bit as if they were on a date! "...Kasumi-chan?"

"What does the Tendo girl have to do with it?"

"Over there. Is that...?"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ichiro was bored with his job, and longed for more excitement in his dull life. The customer who he had recently seated had the right idea, whatever that guy was doing was clearly working for him, to have such a sexy foreign woman clinging to his arm! Perhaps when he was s bit older, he could get a job at a host club, so beautiful women like that would pay for his attention! What a wonderful idea!

Another couple entered with a reservation under the name 'Ono'. The woman seemed a bit underdressed for this establishment, however she still managed to look stunning, and he was unwilling to refuse her service based on attire. "Ah yes. Good evening honored customers, and welcome to Vino e' Lavo. Please, follow me."

Leading them to their table, he noticed that though they were both very nervous, the older man was barely holding himself together. He did not want to judge, but he was starting to imagine various things the man may have done to coerce the young woman into this 'date', and most of them were less than pleasant. He vowed to keep an eye on the couple just in case.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ranma was doing his best to ignore the 'clingy girl' looking over his shoulder as he watched Kasumi and Tofu get seated on the other side of the dining room, hoping that things were going well. He had been intently watching them, when suddenly Shampoo pulled him back into the booth, planting a long kiss on him, and in a harsh whisper, Ranma scolded his 'date'. "What'd ya do that for?"

"Onee-chan just look this way, Airen too too obvious, almost spotted, no is good. Ranma spend time look this way, Shampoo help watch too."

"But ...ya creatin' a scene, everyone'll be starin' at us!"

"Look 'round, all look away from us! Is too too uptight, no can look. Need learn enjoy self, but is best cover, yes?"

"Um, well, I guess ...but maybe-...?" He found himself unable to speak as his lips were locked in a tight embrace.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Tofu was impressed with himself, that was not to say that he was doing well, however he had managed to not lose his mind or run away like a fool, and had even been able to get in a bit of small talk without stumbling over his words too badly! The main problem being that most of their date had them sitting silence, and now that they were in a restaurant, he found himself unable to talk, or even look her in the face! He desperately needed a way to relax, so when the waiter offered to bring them a bottle of wine, he jumped at the chance!

He failed to notice the disappointed look on his date's face, as she was reminded of a number of other older men, including one from the movie they had just seen. "Kasumi-chan, you are twenty now, right?"

"Oh my. Well, yes, I suppose that I am..."

"Oh good, here, drink with me!" 'What a good idea, it will help us both relax!' "Hahahahaha!" He was far too distracted trying to keep himself together to see the disapproval cross her features.

Unfortunately for Kasumi, she was far too polite to refuse the glass, which continued to be refilled as she sipped from it.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ichiro stopped their server, warning him to keep an eye on the patron with the dark glasses, not wanting to see anyone take advantage of the nice young woman. Turning back to face forward, he saw another 'young man' enter, with a VERY buxom woman, in a high school girl's uniform on his arm! He noticed that like the other boy with the amazingly attractive woman on his arm, this one also had a scruffy braid. "Hello, and welcome-..."

"Kuonji, table fer two."

"I do not mean to be rude, but what is with the hair, is this a hidden camera show?"

Not liking the implied insult to her favorite person's hair style, Ukyo spouted the first excuse that came to mind. "What, don't ya like it? It's all th' rage in th' city, everyone'll be wearing it soon."

"Oh really? Is that so?"

"Of course, only the best men can pull it off though." Playing along, Hinako leaned in more closely, hugging Ukyo's arm as they followed the young man to their table.

As soon as Ichiro got a break, he ran to the back and redid his own hair, hoping to get a sexy date as well!

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi had been getting the distinct feeling that she was being watched, and since Tofu was still staring off into space, in a completely different direction from her, she knew it was not him, and started discreetly glancing around the room. She had seen one person who she thought looked like Ranma being seated with a tall and 'very' developed school girl, but when she looked more closely, she saw that he appeared shorter than Ranma, and had brown hair, not black. A bit later she saw another guy she thought was Ranma, who actually had black hair this time, but when she saw his face, he had a mustache and was wearing a strange green suit, so it was obviously not him. She was starting to wonder if it was the wine, or something else, and she was starting to doubt her sanity. Seeing Ranma everywhere she looked, first in that character in the movie they saw, and now even the host of the restaurant, it was starting to get to her.

At first she had intended to ask Ranma why he had followed her, but after seeing multiple 'Ranmas', she was no longer so sure she ought to mention it. Was she going crazy? It was not as if she had been drinking before dinner when she first started to see him, nor did she really feel too tipsy, not that she was exactly familiar with drinking first hand. Was she simply unable to get Ranma out of her mind? It just seemed so rude to the doctor, who had arranged all of this, on the other hand, any time her glass was less than full, he poured more, and that was starting to make her feel uncomfortable.

She had heard about men who would try to get their dates drunk and do perverted things to them, could the doctor be that sort of person? She knew he was silly, and occasionally completely irresponsible, but she never would have expected something like that from him! Suddenly she wished that Ranma actually WAS there, and could not believe herself for thinking that. Something was ...not right. She was a bit dizzy, and was definitely not feeling 'right'. "Shorry, Shenshei, exshush me a moment."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"No, some is still looky, Ranma need still kiss Shampoo long time... Right now Onee-chan only go restroom anyway, no want see that. More exciting thing happen here."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"I am fairly certain they went in here..." Entering the Italian restaurant and bar, the two women walked over to question the host. "Excuse me, did you see- ...Kasumi-chan!" The Saotome matriarch was just in time to catch the younger woman as she stumbled, looking as if she were about to be sick. To avoid any more of a scene, she rushed her into the restroom, making sure they made it to a stall before it was too late.

Nodoka put her displeasure on hold in order to comfort the poor, inebriated young woman. "That is right, Dear, let it all out. It is just the gods way of telling us we overdid things. Yes, that's it. Good, you will start to feel better soon."

"Mommy? Iszat you?"

"Yes Dear, do not worry, I have you. Are you feeling better?"

"Oh Mommy, I mizzed you!" Throwing her arms around the older woman, she buried her face her in her chest.

Nodoka was torn between loving the affection, and being disgusted by the vomit that now decorated her kimono... Affection won. "There is no need to be concerned, I am here for you. Come, let us get all cleaned up, and you can tell me everything."

"I'm toooo ooold!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Kuonji-san, don't you think the doctor is being a little pushy with the wine?"

"Yeah... Now, why didn't Ah think a' that?" Her thoughts turned toward the mirin and other sake she had in her kitchen for certain recipes, and how she might be able to talk Ranma into drinking an awful lot of it...

"What do you... No, you can't do that, it's not ethical!"

"Who cares? The ends mean somethin'! All that matters is if it'll work, Ah'm tired a' losin' 'cause I was 'playin' nice'! Ain't makin' Ranchan happy th' only important thing?"

"You are doing that to make 'Saotome-kun' happy?"

"A' course! Who else could it be?"

"If you cannot see it..."

"What're ya, some kinda monk?"

"Just a teacher. Your teacher, and you should go check on them while I go look after the doctor."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

As she neared the restroom, she heard voices mixed with the occasional sobs coming from within, so she paused to listen.

"Is that so?"

"...What can I do?"

'Ya kin leave mah Ranchan alone, an' go back ta th' doc, that's what!'

"Slow down, and tell mother the whole story."

"Well, I guess you cannot watch all four of us, at the shame time..."

"Well, no, even a mother cannot be everywhere at once."

"Well, oh my, you shee, they shet me up on thish date, and everybody wanted me to go, and we shaw that movie, Tofu-shenshei is acting weird, and all those Ranma-kuns everywhere ...they all ...REJECTED MEEE!"

"...'Rejected'? 'Rejected'. ...'REJECTED'!" Ukyo felt as if she could fly! Not waiting for another second, she danced all of the way home, without a care in the world! She still had one purple-haired problem, but that could wait for another day, for now, she had some celebrating to do with Ranma once he got home too!

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Now now... Here, dry your tears. Is that the way it seems to you?"

"Well, yesh..." Kasumi accepted the handkerchief, dabbing her eyes.

"Did you ask why they did this for you?"

Sniffing, the inebriated young woman blew her nose. "They shaid ...they wanted me to be ...happy!" Her tears intensified to punctuate her sentence.

"And are you?" Kasumi could do little more than shake her head softly as her tears fell. "Exactly. So we no longer have a problem, do we?"

"Of courshe we do! Everone'sh feelingsh are going to get hurt! What can I do?"

"It is very simple my dear, if this did not make you happy, then you do not have to do it again. I am sure they would not want you to be this upset, so I know they will understand. Now, don't you worry about a thing, let us take you home and we can clean you up. Okay?"

Her cheer returning, Kasumi dove in for another bear hug, but missed and almost stumbled due to a dizzy spell. Luckily, Nodoka managed to catch her before she fell. "Shank you, Mommy!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"I must say, I am disappointed in you, Doctor." The leggy instructor dressed as a student, sat at his table, and swirling the wine in the glass as she had seen done in many movies.

"Hahahaha. Yeah, all of our practice, and I still can't manage a simple conversation..."

"Getting a girl drunk is what a delinquent would do. If you need to do that, then you really ought to take that as a hint. You lost that one."

"What? No! I, would ...neve- ...Oh no! I was just so nervous, I couldn't think of anything to say, I just kept pouring more wine, hoping I could relax, and finish a sentence!"

"Maybe you should have gone on more than one 'practice' date before we tried this..."

"The real Kasumi-chan is just much more intense than the impostor!" Tofu buried his face in his hands and slumped to the table.

"I see." Absentmindedly, Hinako took a long swig from the glass she had been using to occupy her hands. "That is a dilemma. What do YOU think you should do?"

"I don't know, but I want to die. What does Kasumi-chan think of me now?"

"Well, to be honest, I do not believe it could get very much lower, from what I understand..."

"What? Really? Why?"

"Well, I cannot say for certain, but I have noticed how the mood darkens slightly when your name is mentioned."

"Then, why agree to this? How could I not know?"

"Tendo-san is nice to everyone, but you did help the family, and it did not seem too bad, so I figured it might be something you could overcome." Hinako threw her head back, draining another glass. "However, if this is how you are going to go about it, I am not sure I want to be a party to it any longer."

"Wait! But what am I going to do? I can't do this without your help!" Summoning their server, he ordered another bottle in his depression.

"That could also be a sign, this whole ordeal seems rather unhealthy any way you look at it."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ukyo had hurried home, and once again, bathed as quickly as possible, rushing to the bed she shared, nervously waiting for Ranma to return... As time passed, her mind and hands wandered in anticipation of the events she had planned out for the rest of the evening. At this point she did not even care what gender Ranma was in, and her fantasies reflected that. At one point she imagined herself surrounded by many Ranmas, of varying genders, doing various things to her ...and each other.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Sorry Doc, it looks like they left without ya."

"I think that is for the best, Saotome-kun. You two go on home, I will make sure the Ono-sensei makes it home safely, and see you at home."

"All right Teach, but ..I gotta ask ya a favor. Ya see, this place was a bit more expensive than I expected, an' I didn't bring quite enough ta-..."

"Is okay, Shampoo pay!"

"What? Ya can't do that! It ain't manly ta make a girl pay on a date!"

"Is stupid think only mens can pay for dating! Shampoo is happy pay for date with Ranma!"

"I don't know..." Ranma did not like it, but figured he would be indebted to a women for his date money either way, and at least Shampoo seemed to be enjoying herself. Knowing her, it was probably better to just let her have her way, the more he resisted, the worse it would end up being for him.

"Be good airen, and let Shampoo do! Is Japanese wife job handle monies, Husband wait here!"

Much of the dining room was trying not to look as though they were watching the commotion, even if some could not refrain from commenting. "The girl has a point!"

"Ha ha! Be glad you are not that cute when you are angry, Honey, or I would never let you be happy!"

"So, you are saying I am not cute?" The woman's tone had a dangerous edge to it, that quickly ended her husband's jovial mood.

"No, I mean, you are still beautiful, it is just that, you are better looking when you are happy, so I want to do everything I can to keep you that way! If you pouted like that, then I would be so mean..."

"You mean like complementing another woman's looks, while we are out on our one date night a month, the only night we were able to get a babysitter, when I get to get dressed up and go out? You mean like that?"

"Um, no, I mean, YOU are SO lovely, the best looking woman in here, in the whole world!"

"Is that man correct?"

"No, of course not, YOU are, my dear..."

"Now do you see what you started?"

"What 'I' started?"

"Kuso..."

"I think we should all get out of here before this get's any worse..."

"Good plan, ya comin' with us?"

Looking up to see Tofu walking into a wall, her decision was made. "No, as I said, I think I need to make sure the doctor makes it home safely, I will see you later."

"Okay Teach, see ya. Ya ready, Shampoo?"

Bouncing over, she clung to Ranma's arm, and smiled up at him. "HAI!" Turning back toward their host, she winked and waved as they left. "Boy hair look nice."

"Wait, Shampoo, th' house is that way, what ya up to?"

"Silly Ranma, only fake date over, real date for Shampoo pay, starty now!"

"What? Weren't we only here ta sure Doc don't get grabby, and hurt nobody?"

"For first part, now that over, and we go have fun!"

"But, shouldn't we get home, er somethin'?"

"Why? No have thing do in morning? Have fun with Shampoo!" Seeing his hesitation, she knew he needed more of a push. "Just come, Shampoo just want show a thing!"

"Well, I guess..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

What a disaster! At least they managed to end it before it had gone any further. Hinako decided that she could not really blame the man for his mistake, his intentions, though easy to misinterpret and badly executed, were not harmful in and of themselves. She felt sorry for them both, her dates may have never ended well, but at least none of them ended with anyone getting sick. ...Though usually there was a lot of running involved once she shrank.

Having drunk enough to no longer care about the impropriety of the question, by the time they neared his office, his curiosity managed to get the better of him. "You said that you never managed to get through a date before tonight, why is that?"

"Well, that is a rather personal question, but if you really must know, I will show you ...once we are inside."

Tofu was surprised and confused, what could this incredibly gorgeous woman be going to show him, within his home? Not being in his right mind and being male, he was unable to prevent the improper visions that filled his mind, especially when she sat down the fishbowl she always seemed to carry and began to remove her jacket!

"You see, I have this ...problem."

"I AM a doctor, maybe I can hELp! Don't worry, I have sheen it all before..."

"Not like this you haven't..."

"Well, I admit, you are much more shapely than most of my patients-..."

Ignoring his misunderstanding, Hinako covered the opening of the fishbowl with her jacket, blocking her steady flow of ki. She was always amazed by how quickly their ki wore off, compared to when she drained a person through her normal methods, but she felt the trade off was well worth it! She had almost forgotten how it felt to revert back to her child-like form, it had been a while since she had spent any time that way ...at least while she was awake.

"I- I- I-... Am I dreaming? I didn't think I drank THAT much! Is this like on of those Jusenkyo curses? I didn't see any water... How does it work?"

Loving to toy with men who were inevitably put off by her other form, she put on her most seductive smile. "No, I'm not a dream, silly, I am one hundred percent woman!"

"Uh..." With his drunk goggles completely glossed over, his mind saw Kasumi as a girl, returned to him!

"Now, do you have any games here? What do you do for fun? Hey! Don't dance with that silly old skeleton, dance with me!" Grabbing him by the hand, she pulled him away toward the center of the room. "Let's play! Let's play!"

As they danced around the room, Hinako started to grow a bit uncomfortable with the change in dance style. She wanted a fast, fun dance, while he was dancing more slowly, and pulling her closer, then you had the matter of where he was putting his hands... "Hold on there Romeo, I guess I am just too much woman for you."

Hinako glanced around the room, looking for her fishbowl, and plotted the easiest way to get there, however she was having trouble breaking the iron grip of the possessed man in front of her as he leaned in, kissing her on the lips. "Doctor! What are you doing?"

Starting to regain some of his sobriety, he instantly regretted his actions! "I'm am shorry, it's just, you drank from the same glass as my Kasumi-chan earlier... Third ...hand ...kiss." With that, he passed out, snoring for all he was worth.

Hand already reaching for her coin, Hinako slumped back onto a chair. "What a night! I think it would be best if we forgot that this ever happened... I know I will put it out of my mind, and hopefully you will not remember with how much you had to drink." After gathering her things, and returning to her full stature, she leaned in and kissed him on the forehead, her heart filled with pity. "You poor, poor, desperate man."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ukyo heard the door open, and considered what to do. She did not want a repeat of last time, but the 'rejected' Kasumi was with Nodoka, and Hinako was with the doctor, so that gave her pretty good odds! It was finally down to just her and Shampoo, and she was ready to give it her all! Her hopes were that now that Ranma had finally started actively rejecting people of whom he did not approve, he would be pursuing those of whom he wanted!

She would not make the same mistake again! Patience was the key! She needed to wait and see, let Ranma make the first move! Having someone cuddle up next to her sent her emotions soaring, and the light smell of alcohol only encouraged her, assuming Shampoo had the same Idea, and tried to get Ranma drunk as well... Things were going well!

As the arms wrapped around her, she was about ready to respond in kind when she heard a familiar voice that turned her blood to ice... "Mmmm, Ran-ma-kun..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Ranma sit here, now open eye, look to sky."

"Wow, what a view!"

"Wish say same thing when look at Shampoo..." The young woman mumbled under her breath.

"What was that?"

"No is important... This place Shampoo like go, be alone, just think."

"The roof."

"What, did say?"

"That's where I go, same reasons."

"Shampoo know, is why show. Want share special place with Airen."

Ranma was having a hard time believing that she had just sat next to him, lightly holding his arm as she stared up into the sky, as opposed to her usual 'glomp'. "Well, it IS nice... so, um, thanks, I guess..."

Shampoo was dismayed that he still recoiled as she tried to lightly kiss his cheek, but pressed on with her plan. "Ranma, look there, see shape in moon?"

"Oh, you mean the bunny?"

"Airen know Chang'e the Jade Rabbit? Part Shampoo name also mean 'jade', so like."

"Jade, what? No, we just call it 'Tuski no Usagi', th' Moon Rabbit, up there making rice cakes, er somethin'."

"Rice cake? Jade Rabbit help goddess Hang'e make 'Elixir of Life' for husband, is too too sad story."

"What happened?"

"Hang'e once human, and married. Husband get reward elixir for heroic archery. But only get one and no want drink without wife who love too too much, so hide in house. One time, when husband out on great hunt, apprentice break into house, try make wife give elixir! Try fight, but apprentice, stronger. Better than let go to one with no honor, drink for self, and ascend to heavens! Gods punish wife for drink what belong to husband, and send to moon, where very lonely without husband, but meet bunny what try make elixir for husband."

"But, what happened ta th' husband?"

"Some say become new sun, forever chase wife, others say is in stars, still hunt big game... Is too too sad. Husband, wife what love so much, no be together."

"Well, at least th' husband knew th' wife would be safe, forever, that's what's important..."

"But no be together, so no can be happy. Sometimes better dead, then no be with one what love!"

"NO! Ya can't think like that! I mean, it ain't like I got a lot a' experience er anythin' but, anyone that really cares about ya would want ya ta live on, and do yer best! There's always some other guy out there, that could-..."

"NO!"

"Yeah..."

"What? Why, is reject Shampoo?"

"I didn't say that!"

"Then what mean?"

Ranma put his hand up to try to ward off her protest. "Jus' that there're plenty a' guys out there, some are even better than me! HAHAHA!" After a moment, he managed to reign in his nervous laughter.

"No is better!"

"Come on, we both know that ain't true, no matter how much I want ta think it..."

"Maybe some better fighting, but Ranma always be Shampoo favorite! Shampoo always cheer for Ranma!"

"But, if something happened-..."

"...If something happen, then Shampoo spend rest of days care for Ranma children 'till no needed, then join!" Shampoo stay by Ranma side forever! If Ranma want Shampoo no die, then need stay by Shampoo always!"

"Really, I ain't worth it!"

"Is to Shampoo, now shut stupid mouth! We go home!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ranma opened the door to the room he now shared with several others only to once again find Kasumi and Ukyo entangled in his futon! In his shock, he failed to notice that Kasumi was asleep, or that Ukyo was in a panic, desperately trying to escape her entanglement. The fact that Kasumi looked blissfully happy, and Ukyo looked exceedingly naked, was more than enough to cause his brain to cease all thoughts not having to do with escape!

Grabbing Shampoo by the wrist, he turned to exit the room, far more quickly than he entered. "Sorry ta interrupt, we'll leave ya alone!"

Grinning like a madwoman, Shampoo allowed herself to be led out of the room as she silently thanked her gods and then her benefactor in her native tongue. 'Thank you Sister, for not being able to hold your liqueur!' Despite her earlier setbacks, this evening was looking up!

Ukyo's look of absolute horror was also completely lost on Ranma as he fled the house! "Ranchan! NO! Wait! ...Come back!" Looking down at the snoring vice that was gripping her waist, the young chef groaned. "This's all yer fault, ya hussy! LET GO! Why do ya hate meh so?" If she didn't know better, she would have assumed Kasumi had been taking 'glomping' lessons from Shampoo!

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The Vino è Lavo [ヴィーノ エ ラーボ] is a real Italian restaurant and bar in shopping district of Nerima, not far from the Nerima Cultural Center, and a mile or two from the high school.

Tune in next time for 'Next Flicks and Chilled Wine', or 'Jack and Jill Fell Down the Hill'...


	25. Chapter 25

We are passed the halfway mark now, but it is not all 'downhill' from here yet, the terrain ahead is still a bit rocky. Hopefully we won't have any more issues like the other day, but we will see.

Notice: The gods of the FanFiction have informed me that you shall obey the following commandment. 'Enjoy the Story'!

Chapter 25 - Promissory Notes

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"Mother, why are we going to your room, are we not doing more ...'bridal training'?" Kasumi blushed when she said the words, still not comfortable with the idea of her needing such a thing, even if she had been learning a lot. She had to admit to being impressed, she had no idea there were so many variations on the recipes she made so often, though she had been proud to be able to teach a stain removal technique to her 'instructor', and that had helped to restore some of her lost confidence.

"Of course we are, my dear, but not all of a bride's duties lie in cooking and cleaning."

Kasumi's cheeks burned with her blush. "But, I-, I-..."

"You also have to be able to keep your husband in line." Nodoka ignored her 'disciple' picking herself up off of the floor. "Controlling your family is your number one responsibility as the head of the household."

"But, isn't the husband head of the-..."

"Oh dear! Where ever did you learn such nonsense?"

"Um... Everywhere?"

"Tisk, tisk! Silly child, everyone knows that the wife is the one who runs the household, we are just not so unrefined as to want to take credit for that. Everything needed to keep the household running smoothly, not just balancing the budget and cleaning, we also must make certain the rest of the family unit lives up to their responsibilities, even if that means the husband might think they are the one in charge. Keeping your family happy and functional is part of it, and keeping men happy can require stroking their ego at times, by allowing them to pretend that they are in charge."

"Oh my..."

"When you see the happiness and joy in the faces and actions of your beloved family, then who needs something so trivial as 'credit'?"

Kasumi sighed in agreement, nothing pleased her more than putting her loved ones in a good mood, even if they did not notice she had done anything at all, on the other hand, she had started to realize that perhaps that might have been part of her problem as well... While she felt no desire for praise, Ranma and Shampoo had made her realize that her family had been taking advantage of that in her, and by doing everything for them, she had not actually 'helped' them as much as she had wanted, and in fact, caused harm by spoiling them. If only she had seen it sooner. While both of her sisters were fiercely independent, she felt that she and their father left them ill prepared for their futures. It was one of her biggest regrets, even if she was only a few years older than them, it was the eldest sister's responsibility to care for her younger siblings. For what was not the first time, she wished that her younger self had the knowledge of her current one ...or more.

"I believe you have practiced the basics for long enough, you have a good grasp of some of the intermediate skills and are picking up improvisation well, so I think it is time to move to the next step. We can go back and test your progress in the kitchen later, however for now, I want to see what your mother taught you about the bedroom."

"Oh my... I see, that makes sense. I may be mistaken, but I believe I have learned most things, but it would be easier to just show you."

Nodoka's mood brightened a bit, it was so much easier to build a home upon a good foundation. "Yes, exactly, Kasumi-chan, I like the way you think!" Leading the way into the room she was using, she started to rummage in her boxes. "So, what kinds of things do you enjoy most?"

"What do I enjoy most in the bedroom?"

"Exactly, do you have a favorite?"

"Well, Ranma-kun certainly has been a big help there, it has just been amazing... making the beds and keeping things tidy are just so important, but I really prefer laundry the most! The joy of being able to save someone's favorite outfit, or get out a stubborn stain, it is very satisfying work."

Nodoka had to pick herself and the items she had just found, off of the floor, where they had just fallen. As disappointed as she was, she could not find it in herself to be upset with the naive young woman. "That was not exactly what I had in mind, but what do you mean, about Ranma helping?"

"Oh my, you would be impressed, Ranma-kun was such a big help to me, when no one else would, and then with all of the free time ...we trained together! It was exhilarating!"

"I- well, unquestioningly, helping a woman in need is a manly thing to do, though it is not the manliest thing for a couple to do together in a bedroom..."

"Oh my! But, we were never a ...'couple' ...I was the only one who was not, so..."

Nodoka filed that away for later, and decided to change the subject. "Not to worry, Kasumi-chan, all things will work out in time. 'Drop by drop is the water pot filled.' For now, let us focus on your lesson for tonight."

"And what lesson is that, if I may ask?"

"I believe I explained that already, you are going to learn ways to make your family happy."

"Isn't that nice... but what is that leather for?"

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Genma found that he could not move, an all too familiar feeling of being bound and gagged filled his awareness. He was not sure how he had gotten back there, but an unforgettable voice refused to allow him to convince himself that he was wrong. "Are you awake again, Husband? It was very naughty of you to fall asleep while doing your duty, it is not very manly of you to make your wife use so many toys."

Looking up and into Nodoka's eyes only confirmed his suspicions, for some reason he was back in his old house! And his wife seemed much larger than was normal, though glancing around the room, and seeing the size of the torture equipment, he knew that it was actually him that was feeling particularly small. "Eh, err, eh? Ah han ee-eh-er ahee-..." *Um, were we? I can't say I remember any-...*

The room went dark as the blindfold covered his eyes. "No more excuses, you have left me hanging too many times already, Genma-chan." Seeing him flinch at the name, she felt some small satisfaction. "You claim to know what needs to be done, but you never care about anyone other than yourself! So, I am going to return the favor, and I will play with you until 'I' am ...gratified." She let that last word hang in the air, dripping with contempt.

Genma started panicking, and as the feeling of a hand slid between his legs, his struggles intensified. "If only you would put that much effort into your husbandly duties... Of course, with this little thing, I suppose it is not surprising that the local toy store is doing so well..."

He felt the shackles that restrained his ankles widening as she turned the crank. "Why don't you try this instead, maybe you will learn what a real man feels like." Genma was not given time to feel happy about the gag being removed from his mouth before it was replaced by a latex 'replica'.

"It is sad, our son is only five, and already is more of a man than you, I guess we should be grateful that my genes were dominant."

'Why should your genes be any different than the rest of you? ...OH SHIT! There's no way I can allow my son to be raised here, it's not safe for any man!' While he had no hint that she would ever treat her son in any way similar to himself, after all, she only did this to him when he 'disappointed' her in bed, however only the pain in his posterior mattered to the young father, still nursing a mostly full head of hair ...it was receding far too quickly these days.

"What a pathetically tiny phimotic little thing, hardly a man at all. I guess my family should have asked for a 'head shot' before agreeing to our marriage... Oh? What is this? I see, so you DO like the little intimate conversations we have! It is too bad that even though you seem to love being called microscopic, it never seems to get all that much bigger..."

Still blindfolded, Genma was unable to see what was happening, and was just happy he was being left alone ...even if the phallus was still in his mouth. "Why could I not have been married to a real man, who wanted to treat me as a woman?"

The small sigh gave him a small amount of satisfaction. 'HA!'

"But no, I ended up with a man who prefers to be insulted, and treated like a woman, even called a woman! I also wish you would not teach our son that being called a 'woman' was an insult, just because you like it, it is really not appropriate."

"Oh, ohn!" *No, don't!*

"What happened? I barely even touched you! For shame, even little children should have more of a resistance! I suppose you leave me with little choice, as I said, I will be fulfilled before this night is done, one way or another..."

After a moment, he felt the pressure of the slick, cold, finger pressing on the base of his rectum. 'Oh no, not again...!'

"Time to loosen this thing back here... One finger ...two ...three ...four ...and all five! There we go, you are almost ready... and-..."

Genma sat bolt-upright, feeling the phantom soreness in his hindquarters, pain left over from the dream that seemed almost too real, while he was still sweating and gasping for breath. He never wanted to explain to anyone why he had really left on that training trip, and if he had any say in the matter, he never would!

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"...Do not forget, if you tie it like this, it is easy to escape, however if you go the other direction, then it gets tighter the more they struggle."

"I see ...but why would I ever need to know such a thing?"

"Do not argue with me Darling, men are just like that sometimes, you just never know when you might need to keep one ...restrained."

Kasumi did not like to admit it, but there had been times when she would not have minded knowing such a thing, much to her chagrin. "I suppose..."

"Trust me, my dear." Nodoka watched closely as Kasumi practiced her knots, glad to see her doing well. "Very nicely done. It looks as though you are starting to get the basics now, what do you say we stop here for the night, and take our bath?"

"If you think that is best." The young woman followed her friend's mother to the furo where they started to undress.

Impressed by her choice of lingerie, Nodoka had to wonder. "Those are very interesting, did you pick them out yourself? I am surprised to see this side of you, Daughter dear."

Blushing profusely, Kasumi could not meet the other woman's gaze. "They ...I mean, I am not sure why, but Mother, my 'real' mother, gave them to me, so I could not refuse... I- I was told they were for battle, so I wear them for ...training!"

"Very good." The Saotome matriarch smiled to herself, perhaps the next phase of training would go as easily as the earlier ones... "I would never want to offend, but perhaps you would do me the honor of allowing me to also give you some. While these are lovely, and I am not asking you NOT to wear them, I have some ideas that I think would look lovely on you, and a beautiful young woman, such as yourself, cannot have too many unmentionables."

Kasumi blushed as she tried to deny the compliment, mumbling under her breath, "Especially in this town." Not that she had ever had anything stolen from her personally, however she knew how much of a problem it was for most women in the area. It was scary to live in an area where so many thieves did their dirty business, she did not know what she would do if she ever met one of those people! How frightening!

"What was that, Dear?"

"Oh my, um, 'yes, Mother, you are correct'...?"

"My son was taken from me at such a young age, and I was never blessed with a daughter of my own, I hope you do not mind this doting old lady's regrets... We can get you some more like that, and others ...for your training."

"...'For the training'? I, well, I do not think mother would mind, so I suppose it would be okay..."

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Their truce now ended, the two young women had decided on a mutual plan of attack as a way to get back into their competition, and to that end, they railroaded Ranma into the changing room. Ukyo's plan had not been a complete success, but she knew there was only so much time their deal would buy her, Shampoo was sure to try 'something' if she pushed it too much longer. She would still try to help Tofu, but she knew she would not be able to give him as much time.

"What ...ya think yer doin'?" Ranma was slowly trying to back away as the two hungry predators advanced on him, causing him to want to flee.

"What wrong, Airen?"

"Yeah Ranchan, it's th' same thing we do every day ...just takin' our bath..."

"No is fair, Ranma always wash us, so we say we work together, return favor of washing Husband!"

"Uh... That's okay, ya ain't gotta... I don't need-..."

"Stop stupid talking! Ranma say want get along, so let do!"

"Yeah Ranchan, we're only doin' whacha asked us, we're bestest friends! Ain't that right, Shugga?"

"Is true, is like sister! Why can no just come peaceful?"

"Ah don't mind if yer loud either..." Ukyo blushed as she looked away, proud of herself for managing to make the joke, even if no one else appeared to get it.

"We is think Ranma spend too too much time by self, need spend time with beautiful womans what love!"

He found his back against the wall, and they were closing the gap far more quickly than he would have liked. On the other hand, they did make a point, and he was starting to regret asking them to 'get along'... It was not as if he had actually expected them to really do it! He supposed that the old saying he had heard was true, 'be careful what you wish for, or it might come back and attack you...' "Um, well, ya see, I mean..."

"Ya ain't gonna git outta here without us washin' ya back!"

"This time is we what go first!"

"What? Wait! I-..."

"No excuses, Ranchan!"

Ranma rarely had it in him to resist a strong willed woman, his sheltered life had left him ill prepared for such things, and he felt as if he were sinking into a deep pit as they stripped him. With the way his father had talked about women when he was a child, he was lucky he did not end up with full blown Gynophobia as well as his Ailurophobia.

"No fight! Shampoo only want help Husband get better!"

"I'm sick now?"

His body stiffened as they both shouted a resounding, "YES!"

"An' lemme guess, ya give me th' cure if I go on a date with ya?"

"Been there, done that."

"Is too too late for that! Is emergency, need give cure now. Come with Shampoo!"

"...Or sooner."

"Pancake-Girl want say something?"

"Yeah, Ah'm goin' first!"

"Goin' where?"

"Ta heaven! Now come on!"

"Oi!" Ranma gasped in surprise as his childhood friend firmly grasped his wrist, and headed for the furo.

"No get head self! Agreed, we do as team!"

Ukyo had to shake the image of Ranma going down on her out of her mind, along with the drool from her chin. "Ya do that on purpose, don't ya?"

Shampoo shyly looked away, feigning innocence by resting her index finger on her pouting lower lip. "What Shampoo do? No is one get head self!"

"Never will, not if Ah got anythin' ta say about it!"

"Is what think? All know, Shampoo is too too sexy womans. Any mens make obvious choice over boy stick figure!"

"Ah'll have ya know, Ah'm one hundred, percent, female!"

"Then Shampoo many hundreds purr-cents."

Ukyo hated the sultry look on her rival's face at that moment more than burnt okonomiyaki! "Grrrrr!"

Ranma saw his moment while they were fighting, and ...was prevented from fleeing by Ukyo's death grip on his arm. "Come on, Ranchan, let's git this started!"

"Finally, Shampoo agree!" Taking his other arm, they led him to the washing area, directing him to sit on the stool.

Ranma's muscles tensed as their warm, wet hands gently started lathering his body, nervously looking for any easy escape route. That was at least, until Shampoo had moved behind him and started on his back, he could not be sure, but he felt as if he saw what she had been doing, he would regret it. All he could say for certain was that it felt as though hands were not the only thing being used to wash him, and he did NOT want to know what it was... 'Knowing would make it worse', it was a feeling he could not shake, so he clenched his eyes tight, and tried to think about the art. "Aaaaah..."

"See, feel too too good, yes?" Shampoo instinctively purred as she leaned in to nibble on his earlobe, though she made sure not to let up on her grip. "Shampoo make Ranma feel good everyday, in many way, so pick Shampoo and feel more good thing!"

"NO! Pick meh!" With her rival pressing her overdeveloped chest into Ranma's back, Ukyo saw an opportunity to get ahead... in more ways than one.

Despite everything, Ranma almost managed to jump out of his skin as Ukyo's hands had quickly darted between his legs! With her soapy fingers homing in on her target, he felt his body starting to instinctively react to her touch and it frightened him, though he would never admit that. His eyes were darting around the room, doing their best not to focus on either of the other two people in the room.

Eager as she was, the voluptuous vixen was annoyed by how quickly Ukyo had jumped to the 'main course'! While it was true that the 'early bird got the worm', there was a proper order to things! "Is go too too fast, does know nothing?"

"Well, it ain't like Ah never done this before!"

"No asking elders? Watching movie? Reading manga at least? No study for test at all?"

Not releasing her firm grip, Ukyo blushed even harder, and stammered. "Well.. Ah mean, Ah, Ah, know what ta do!"

"No well... Is need more practice."

"Ah'm tryin'... Heeeeyyy... ya slut! How many other guys ya been with already?"

"Shampoo only be one for Ranma!"

"Then how ya claim ta know so much?"

"All warrior know how please mate, is too too obvious! Japanese need better education!"

"Yeah, right, so how'd they teach ya, capture some guy from another village, and practice on 'em?"

"NO! What think are?"

"Barbarians."

Sticking her tongue out, she crossed her arms, making her bust protrude even further, and catching her full attention as she had intended. "If must know, Great-Grandmother buy instruction movie, book, and magazines!"

"So, ya insult Japanese education, yet ya use our porn ta learn? Ya... Ya hypocrite!"

"No was ALL from Japanese!" Turning her head, her cheeks grew a bit more pink as her voice softened. "...But Shampoo want know what Husband like."

"Hurmph! Likely story!"

"Should be thank Shampoo, if no for, both die virgin, even if marry! Now, Shampoo teach Ranma, go find own teacher!"

"Not a chance, Shuggah! Ah ain't lettin' go!"

"Then move over for sharing!"

Finally managing to kick over a bucket, the cold water washed over his legs, triggering the curse, and causing their hands to suddenly find themselves empty. Moving quickly, Ranma tried to make a break for it, but it was not fast enough, as they had each latched onto a leg with a death grip.

"Is good try, but Husband no get away this time."

"Ah done told ya Ranchan, 'ya ain't gettin' outta here, without us washin' ya!"

"...One way, or other." One of the topics covered had sparked Shampoo's curiosity, and she wondered how 'functional' her husband's female organs were... Perhaps this might be a good time to find out. Before either of them could blink, her hands were completely lathered, and were 'washing' between Ranma's legs!

Not loosening her grip, Ukyo looked on in wild-eyed fascination, she had never seen anything like it! It certainly looked as if Ranma was enjoying it, even if his panicked look reminded her of a deer ...right before it was killed by a truck. "What ya doin' there?"

"Shampoo wash husband!"

"But, husbands don't have one of ...those!"

"Shampoo husband do, if no like, go find other husband! If no can do, then how can say love Ranma?"

Never one to back down from a challenge when it came to Ranma, Ukyo steeled her nerves, and allowed her hands to massage his chest, as her eyes darted between Ranma's expression and what Shampoo was doing down below. Despite the fear, it was obvious to anyone, even her, that it was clearly a VERY enjoyable experience. ...If only it was Ranma doing that to her!

"Stupid Pancake-Girl, keep both hand on Ranma, play with self later!"

"What's happenIIIIIIIING? AAAAAAAAAAHHH!" After a bright flash of light, Ranma's world suddenly went dark.

"Oh, good job, look what ya did! Ranchan! Ranchan, wake up! ...Aw no fair!"

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While Ryoga was tired of being in his cursed form, he had been unable find a way to escape, the girl who held him was remarkably good at keeping track of him. He may not know where he was, but on the up side, at least he was getting in some training, even if it WAS only while in cursed form. Though, he had to admit, considering how often he was stuck as a pig, he ended up fighting as one often enough, so it was not the worst thing to happen. He just hated the idea of being forced, he wanted to train on his own terms.

For almost a week he had been made to wear a weighted harness while he ran around a small arena, jumping over obstacles, and dodging soft balls that were thrown at him. It had been rigorous, they had worked him until he felt he would drop, and then they would hose him off before taking him to the holding cage for the night. The girl was no Akane, but she was cute, and her cooking was ...better. The strangest part of it all, was how there was porcine imagery everywhere he looked. They seemed fond of pigs, but in a 'farming' sort of way, and that made him worry about his future if he stayed there. Was he being fattened up for the slaughter?

That brought him to his opponent, an enormous swine, dressed in what seemed to be a sumo outfit! While it was hard to tell from his low angle, it was possibly even larger than the one he had found rampaging through Shikoku! Though this one was clearly not wild, and had been preventing him from leaving every time he had tried to get away, much like his prison guard. For the first time he had been placed in a sumo ring, and instructed to fight with the much larger animal!

'P-Choppy' was rather strong for his size, though it paled in comparison to his natural human body, and despite having landed many solid blows, both during this 'match', and during his numerous escape attempts, it never seemed to faze the boar. His odds of winning did not look good. Luckily for him, in sumo, the only goal was to push your opponent out of the ring, harming them was unnecessary. 'WAIT!'

The larger porcine combatant moved far more quickly than its size would imply, and Ryoga found his little self air born in an instant! He eyes bugged out as he saw the ground quickly approaching, it had all happened so quickly, that he had been unable to adjust his trajectory and was looking at a very painful landing.

Instead of landing however, his opponent had caught his bandanna its mouth, flinging him back into the air with a bit less force. This time he managed to land on his feet, even as a pig he was used to hard landings so was able to avoid the hoof aiming for his back. Seeing an opening, he started to bolt from the ring until a sweet voice stopped him dead in his tracks. "If you run from the ring, you won't get any of my special pig slop for dinner... Win or lose, you need to try, Sweetie."

His grumbling stomach protested his plan, and he turned to face the tower of pork that strangely seemed to be waiting for him. Steeling himself for the pain, he psyched himself up and charged in to attack! He was battered back with each blow, staying just shy of knocking him out of the ring.

"That's the spirit!"

They were toying with him! It was hopeless, there was no way he could beat that big thing like this... His self-doubt caused him to drop his guard just as his attack was blocked, causing him to go tumbling out of the ring and into a freshly formed, P-choppy-shaped hole in the wall.

The enormous swine managed to look sheepish for the blunder, and ran with its mistress to make sure he was still breathing.

"OH! What happened? You were really starting to show some skill!" Watching the little pig get back up with a dejected look on his face, she wanted to cheer him up. "Come on, you can do it! Best two out of three, get in there and give it your all, and you will get something really good tonight!"

'Oh no, not again!' After a quick check, he found himself back within the circle, the cute teen gently rubbing his head.

"Now, now! It will be okay, I know you can do it!"

Ryoga psyched himself up, he did not want to disappoint the nice girl who believed in him. He could do this, he just had to focus, apply his leverage, and ...face down a mountain! 'Shimata!'

"That's it, Katsunishiki, I know you will be careful. We don't want to hurt your new little brother ...too much."

The aforementioned 'mountain' hardly moved, yet easily managed to deflect each attack with one hoof, and Ryoga's enthusiasm suffered with each blocked blow. He pondered why it was that this sort of thing always happened to him, he found a girl who was nice to him, and once again there is another strong opponent with a 'pigtail' standing in his way! It just was not fair! Did the gods themselves have it out for him? What did he do to deserve that? Completely ignoring the obvious answers to such questions, he wallowed in his misery, missing the change in expressions on the others in the room.

The dark purple glow enveloped the small piglet and coalesced into his slack-jawed mouth. Akari could not 'see' the aura, but she could certainly feel that something dramatic was about to happen, and she watched carefully as the unseen beam of dark energy struck her favored friend, knocking it out of the ring, and leaving a dent on the opposing wall!

"KATSUNISHIKI!" The teen ran over to check on her dazed companion, making sure that everything was okay before allowing herself to be distracted by the strange display. "Wow! How did you do that?"

She ran over to hoist Ryoga into her arms, and look him over, VERY closely, much to his embarrassment, though his depression was still strong enough to keep him avoiding eye contact, and wriggling to escape.

"What WAS that? A fluke? Can you do it again? Was it even you in the first place?" Hugging the tiny piggy to her chest. "No one has EVER beaten Katsunishiki! If only you were human..."

Ryoga suddenly stopped struggling to escape, and tried to hide in her bosom, her gentle voice slowly penetrating his muffled ears. "Now now, listen to me, I have never trained anyone who picked things up as quickly as you, it's almost like you understand everything I say! You really have a talent, I know it! You can do it, you just need more practice! You will do it won't you, for me?"

Ryoga did not like being looked down upon, especially by a cute girl, that just added insult to injury! He could do it! No, he WOULD do it! Yes! He was the man who would take down Ranma Saotome, no pig would stand in his way! This was just a stepping stone toward his goal! Hopping off of her lap, he faced off with his foe for the third time!

"Good job Banzuke-gai, I knew you had potential! Maybe we can get you registered soon if you keep this up, Cutie!"

'REGISTERED! For WHAT?' He was not given time to think about it as his opponent slowly approached him again. Tired of being pushed around, he focused on everything that made him mad, from his frustrations about his predicament, his loathing for Ranma, his feelings of abandonment, the hatred he had for his accursed sense of direction, and topped it off with picturing Mousse sitting on Akane's lap! With his rage and frustration boiling up and pushing him over the top, he charged in, throwing himself at his opponent with everything he had.

The angle of the attack flipped Katsunishiki onto his back, and in trying to get back on his feet, he rolled over, and out of the ring. Ryoga blinked a few times, not believing his own eyes, what luck that the other pig rolled that direction! Holding his head high, he trotted over to the excited young woman waiting for him.

"YOU DID IT! What a GOOD boy you are!" Akari lifted him to her chest, and kissed him on the snout. "I just knew you could do it! Oh how I WISH you were a real boy! Then we could get married, yes we could! Wouldn't that be nice?" Dancing around the room with him, she just looked into his stunned eyes. "I just bet you would make such a handsome boy!" Acting on a sudden impulse, gave a short prayer to the 'god' of sumo. "Oh please, Nomi no Sukune-sama, grant my prayer and turn my faithful wrestler into a HUMAN man!"

As they passed the kitchen, she felt the pig in her arms twitching. "You can have your special pig slop later, first we need to clean you up, you earned an extra special treat my little Pig-nokio!"

Having expended so much ki to empower his tiny body enough to overpower the much larger opponent, Ryoga was exhausted, he had tuned out the girl's voice, and could only think about food and sleep. Having passed the kitchen and feeling far too comfortable, he fell asleep, figuring she would wake him up when it was time to eat, if the usual hose did not do it first.

Being asleep, Ryoga also missed Akari's song, as she danced and sang her way to the furo.

"When you wish on the pork staaaar,

Makes no difference what breed you are,

Any truffle your heart desires,

Will slop tooo youuuuu...

"If a pig heart is in your dream,

No pig-quest is too pigs-treme,

When you wish on the pork star,

Like porcines do...

"Mmmm...

Mmmmmm...

Mmmmmmmm...

Mmmmmm...

"Like a snout out of the blue,

A pig steps in and sees you through,

When you wish on the pork star,

Pig dreams, coooooome truuuuuuuuuuuuue!"

Getting to the changing room, she saw the little piglet snoozing away and was moved by how cute he looked, making her not want to wake him as she prepared the bath. He had made her very proud that day, and she was looking forward to the competitions they would win together! But in the meantime, he had earned some pampering, and she loved to reward her hard working babies!

After wrapping herself in a towel, she carried him into the washroom and gently washed them both before climbing into tub. Finding that a rugged young man had just replaced her new trainee made Akari's heart-filled eyes bug out as she squealed in joy! "Oooooh! Thank you for granting my wish, Nomi no Sukune-sama!" She hugged him tightly to her chest, her disappointment in losing a potential upcoming champion had quickly been exchanged for the thrill of finally finding a man who qualified to be her husband!

Ryoga awoke to find that he was in a tub, back in his human form, in the arms of the girl who had been training him, and that they were both naked! Not wanting to hurt her, he found himself unable to break free. "Uh, I can explain! It's not what it looks like!" This was about as far as he got before his brain shut down due to over stimulation and blood loss.

"Oh no!" Before getting too covered, she pulled them and the plug from the tub, stopped his nosebleed, and rinsed everything off.

When Ryoga finally regained consciousness, he found himself lying on the cool tile, with his head resting on something warm and soft. Opening his eyes, he looked up and into her grinning face, and luckily for him, her towel was covering anything in-between them. Her eyes were not on his face, and she did not seem to yet have noticed he was awake. Following her eyes, he realized where she was looking and that he was still naked!

"Oooooooo..."

Jumping upright, he tried to scoot across the floor only to find she would not let go of him. "Wait, I-..."

"No, don't go, Darling!"

"Huh? What? Wait, you can't-..."

"Why, do you need me to try on a glass slipper or something? It's me, your sweet Akari-chan! Don't you remember me? We are destined to be together!"

"What, how, when? ...I barely know you!"

Akari looked hurt, and partially turned away. "How can you say that after everything we've been though? We have been together for so long now! Oh my poor baby, did you hit your head?"

Ryoga was starting to wonder exactly which one of them was the crazy one, she seemed so certain! Could she mean as a pig, even if so, that had not been THAT long... Did that mean she knew about his curse? "You mean ...you know?"

"Of course I know! I know everything about you, my love!"

"Why do you keep saying that? What did I do?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Seeing him shake his head in the negative, she continued, wiping a tear away from her eye. "Well, as you know, our family has trained champion sumo pigs for many generations and before dying, my grandfather said that I would not be allowed to marry anyone who could not beat our champion, Katsunishiki, and you were the first one to ever succeed! I mean, it's okay that you were not always human, I wished to the god of sumo, my prayers were answered, and now everything will be fine!"

"Oh, ahahahahaha!" Ryoga absently rubbed the back of his neck, trying to wrap his head around what was happening. He felt bad for the girl, he certainly knew what it was like to lose family ...in more ways than one!

"I know being like this is a lot to get used to all at once, but pigs are so smart and handsome, I know you will adjust quickly, you are such a fast learner!"

"Huh?" That was something Ryoga had NEVER been called in his life! "But...?"

"Don't worry, even though you have no skills other than fighting, I will always take care of you!"

"Well, that's nice and all, but could I trouble you for something to wear?"

"Oh, um, are you sure?"

Ryoga looked at her questioningly, not sure if he heard her correctly.

"I mean, I knew that you would pick things up quickly, but you already know what clothing is...?" 'Unfortunately.' "I am proud of you! Just wait here a moment, I will be right back!"

Before Ryoga could find his way out of the furo, she had returned wearing a yukata, with another in her arms. "Here you are Darling." Akari watched closely as he put on the yukata ...wanting to make sure he knew the right way to do it! Yes, that was it! Once he had tied the sash, she could think again and realized something important. "Well, I suppose we are going to need to pick a name for you, I cannot keep calling you 'trainee' any longer, and 'P-choppy' no longer really fits."

"Ryoga"

"What? Shouldn't we pick a good wrestling name?"

"My name is Ryoga, Hibiki Ryoga."

Akari looked slightly disappointed, but did not let it phase her for long, this was still close enough for her! Her dreams had finally been answered, and she was not going to look a gift pig in the mouth! That reminded her of something else. "I guess we can't feed you the usual pig slop any longer, you need people food now..."

"People food? But then what was that before...?"

"Eeeeeew! NO! That is NOT fit for human consumption, let alone my favorite person in the world!"

If her 'pig slop' was better to him than Akane's wonderful home cooking, then what did that say about him, did that mean that she was right, WERE they meant to be together? Lost in thought, Ryoga allowed himself to be led to the dining room.

"Just wait here, I will return shortly, my love! If you need anything, just ask Katsunishiki, okay?" Seeing him nod, she called to her champion. "Now, you make sure Ryoga-chan doesn't go anywhere, we don't want anyone to get lost on their first day as a man!"

"Wait, what?"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Shampoo had been in deep thought concerning their continuing failures, trying to examine her situation from every angle. She had wondered if he had been one of those men she had heard about who liked other men, but he had always rejected those ideas so vehemently, even if one overlooked the physical violence, she felt as if she were a good judge of his rejections! Not only had she been spurned all too often, but she had also been around while others had been jilted as well, and he always tried to be more delicate when refusing women. ...That is with one exception, though she liked to think she understood why that was the case, considering the brute force used against him and his misplaced feelings about hitting women, harsh words were the only recourse.

In her long talks with Kasumi, she had learned of even more fiancees who had been rejected, including a few men, and knew that he had rejected people fitting almost every archetype, so there had to be something deeper than just looking for a certain ideal. She had to take a moment to pat herself on the back for having seen things through to this point, as the proverb says, 'If you work hard enough, you can grind even an iron rod down to a needle'.

...After a moment, she reconsidered her metaphor, the last things she wanted Ranma to be was a 'worn-down needle'! Perhaps it would be better to say, 'It takes ten years to grow trees, but a hundred years to rear people'. That thought also horrified her, feeling as if it had already taken far too long. 'Three feet of ice is not formed in one cold day'? No, she did want things to get any 'colder', 'The one who removes a mountain, begins by carrying away small stones'! ...The proverb was not important! What mattered was Ranma!

Letting the distraction slip away, she tried to refocus on what she knew. She considered her more recent attempts at seduction, and started to wonder if she was the problem... Was she not as attractive as she thought? She had always had positive reactions from most other men, was she missing something?

Seeing a young man, who had just separated from a girl who kissed him, she found what she needed, a boy who obviously liked girls, now she could ask his opinion. Making sure the woman was well out of sight, she sauntered over to gather his opinion.

Tapping the man on the shoulder, she batted her eyelashes at him as she smiled cutely. "Excuse please, if Shampoo blow in ear, say want kiss, and play with this thing here, what do? Enjoy, or run way?"

"What do you mean 'shampoo', is this about Soap Land coupons? ...Or is this a trick question?"

Grabbing the man's shirt, she pulled him in closer to her, and looked him in the eyes. "This one is Shampoo, now answer, what think? Would want date if ask?"

The young man quickly considered dumping his girlfriend first, before deciding to worry about it later! The only thing that mattered was that this beautiful young woman was interested in him! "SURE!"

Relieved, she released the man, and bowed before turning to leave. "Is good. Shampoo thank for help."

"Wait, come back, I don't have your number!"

"Shampoo size, no one else business!"

"But, Darling, how can I call you for our date?"

"Can't. Shampoo say 'IF', only want opinion from weak little man."

"...but ...you said..."

"YOU TWO-TIMING RAT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT WOMAN?"

"But, Honey, I-..." Shampoo had hopped on her bike, and was well out of earshot long before the violence began, she was starting to develop a hypotheses, and it was time to go have a confrontation!

Luckily for her, Ucchan's Okonomiyaki was still open for business, so she had time to catch Ranma alone. Kasumi had been spending a lot of time with Ranma's mother, Hinako was spending more of her time at school, even on the weekends, giving her plenty of time alone with him, and yet he still avoided her, even while training! That was what hurt the most, the thing at which she was the best suited to help him, and yet still he fled...

Well, not this time, she had thought it over, and it always came back to the same point! She had grown lax, and it was time for her to truly commit herself! She would find him, say what she had to say, and she would make him believe her, even if it took everything she had to convince him of her sincerity!

Tracking him to a familiar empty lot, she did not want to give him a chance to get away, so she masked her presence, and flew in from above, pulling off another 'perfect' one-point landing ...on Ranma's back!

"WHAT YA DO THAT FOR?" Looking up, he saw tears forming in her eyes, and any will he may have had to resist made a hasty retreat for the shadows of his mind.

"Airen no run! Hear what Shampoo have say?"

"Fine! Jus' get off a' me!" Even he noticed the hurt in her expression, and despite the situation, still felt bad about his outburst. "Sorry, I mean, I ain't goin' nowhere."

"Okay, but Airen break promise to Shampoo again, no ever forgive!" Tossing her bike to the side, she allowed Ranma to regain his footing.

"So, what ya want? I was just trainin'..."

"Think know what is problem, Shampoo no is good enough warrior for Ranma, so no like, but Shampoo vow, work hard and no hold Airen back-...!"

"That ain't it! If I was like that, then I wouldn't like none a' ya!"

"What mean? Ranma NO dislike all? Could fool Shampoo..."

"OF COURSE NOT! Yer my friends! It ain't like I got a lot a' 'em... I mean we might get on each other's nerves, I know I make ya mad sometimes..."

"NO! No is true, SHAMPOO LOVE AIREN!" Ranma lowered a stern gaze at the pleading young woman. "Okay! ...Is true, get mad when Ranma ignore Shampoo, when only try so hard to make love!" Sobs caught in her throat as she chocked back her runny nose. "Shampoo love so much, what need do?"

"I- I don't know, I don't understand none a' this stuff... We're friends, we hang out, we train together, I ain't gettin' married now, so what more do ya want from me?"

"Want this!" Wrapping her arms around him, she closed the gap between them, and felt his muscles stiffen. "Remember, promise no running!"

Before Ranma had the slightest idea what was happening, Shampoo had his arms locked behind his back with one arm, while her other held the back of his head, pressing their lips together. His mind instantly flashed back to the first time they had met, once as each gender, as he braced for whatever bad thing would surly follow, half expecting Akane or someone to interrupt at any moment with a blunt object.

Shampoo pulled her head back, but did not let go of him, using her leverage to counter his superior strength. "See, no is so bad, yes?"

"Well, I don't know, I guess, but it's not- ...I mean, I didn't- ...I'm not-!"

Feeling how tense he had gotten, Shampoo realized things were not going as well as she had hoped. Even while staying close, he remained distant. "Airen no need be afraid..."

"I AIN'T SCARED!"

Ignoring the obvious self-deception, she tried to follow her line of logic. "Shampoo never want hurt Ranma..."

"Ya could a' fooled me... I mean, not that ya could, but ...ya know." Ranma looked down at the bike that he was sure left marks on his shirt.

"Is traditional greeting from village, attack to test training, keep on toes. Shampoo know Ranma able dodge, why never try?" Seeing the look of surprise cross his features, she raised an eyebrow. "No think Shampoo can tell? Know Ranma fighting best of all us, Shampoo can dodge, and Ranma beat Shampoo too too easy." A mix of the crushing blow to her pride as a warrior and her adoration of the man who managed to eke out a win against an elder at the ripe age of sixteen, filled her with inspiration, and a desire to be closer to him, in more ways than one. "Why Ranma no dodge when Shampoo or violent Pervert-girl is one what do?"

Shampoo did not need him to say anything, the guilt written on his face was as clear as the Tendo's koi pond on a calm day. "Stupid Ranma, let self get hurt no is good way say sorry..."

"Then, what am I 'supposed' ta do?"

"Say sorry, and no do thing what make mad, is too too easy."

"But what IS that? Half the time, I got no idea..."

"...And other half?"

"I sometimes figure it out later... but, it ain't like I mean ta say dumb stuff, but it's part a' my training-..."

"Training is say dumb thing?"

"Well, kind a', ya know ...insults, an' stuff, keeping the opponent off balance, angry even, it's what Pops taught me ta do all th' time, an' it ain't like I ever really interacted with nobody else much, not for long anyway."

"Shampoo no is opponent, is partner for Ranma." Snuggling in more closely, she looked up into his eyes before giving him a peck on the cheek. "Always be by side!"

Once again, Ranma tensed, not understanding the strange feelings swelling up inside of him, and wanted to bolt if not for the arms wrapped around him, and the promise he had made. "That's kind a' th' problem, I ain't used ta this stuff!"

"Is only one thing do then!"

Hope crept into Ranma's voice. "Ya know how ta fix it?"

"HAI! Is too too easy, if no is used to, then just need do more, get used to, yes?"

"ACK! NO, but I can't, it's just that-merphfermmhmhmm..." Visions of ...felines, flashed through his mind as their lips locked together, confusing him even further. Once again, he felt something stirring inside him and, along with Shampoo's purring, panicked him to his core.

Excitedly twitching as if she had a tail, Shampoo was still able to tell that Ranma was not exactly enjoying the experience, and pouted, worried about what she could do. "Is okay, Shampoo is here for helping."

"Then why's this all so confusin'?"

"Shampoo hear, because Ranma miss class... Here, let Shampoo teach all need know!"

"NO! Uh, that's okay! I think I hear Kasumi-san calling us ta help with dinner. We should go! We can talk 'bout this later..." In one swift motion, Ranma broke free, and was running for the kitchen, hoping to distract himself from the questions at hand.

"But we just eat lunch bit ago..." Frustrated as the obvious distraction, the young woman ran after her perplexing paramour, swearing that she would hold him to that promise.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Mmmmmmm, that was GREAT! Thanks, Kasumi-san!"

"Oh my, you are welcome, Ranma-kun, but really, it was all thanks to your mother."

"Not at all, you children all helped tremendously. Ranma-dear, do you help cooking often?"

"Well, it ain't right ta leave it all ta Kasumi-san, I ain't no freeloader like th' old man, I wanna help out where I can..."

Kasumi blushed, struck by how mature his response had been. "Oh my."

Nodoka was not sure how she felt about that, but she did have to admit that she may have been mistaken, her husband may have provided a better example of what not to do than she first thought. If only Genma had been that devoted, perhaps she could have been allowed to raise her own child! "That certainly is rather responsible of you I suppose... but is there not another, more 'manly' way to help? Taking out the trash, mowing the lawn perhaps?"

"I do that too! ...but, I like ta help, ya know?"

"You know Mother, some of the best chefs in the world are men ...and I think Ranma-kun has the potential to be one of them."

"WHAT? I ain't near as good as any a' ya girls!"

"Hush Ranma-kun, you just started." Kasumi's gentle scolding made him give up the argument.

"Yeah! Mah papa was plenty manly, an' taught meh ever'thin' Ah know 'bout cookin'!"

"All mens of village do some cooking, cleaning, watching childrens, is only fair to share!"

"Yes, well, that makes a certain bit of sense..." There was more than a hint of jealousy in the Saotome matriarch's voice, yet she could not find it in herself to blame these girls, if only she could have been in their place, and had such an ...attentive husband. If nothing else, she had to admit, that whatever her son was doing, it was certainly effective, seeing how many young women cared for him, even if it was not as traditional as she would have preferred. "However, that brings us to the crux of the problem, I want to know how you girls are progressing, have any of you-..."

"Oh, wait, Shampoo have surprise!" Wanting to quickly change the subject, and hide their persisting failures, she hopped up, and ran to the kitchen, quickly returning with a tray. "Shampoo make Dragon Fruit Jellies!" On that tray, were gelatinous red squares, with many small black seeds suspended in the tops of each one, reminding everyone of small watermelon cubes. She started passing plates out to everyone, starting with Ranma, whose portion was several times larger than the others, with each one cut into the shape of a heart.

"Mmmmm, these're really good!"

"Not playn' favorites er nuthin', huh?"

Sticking her tongue out, she cracked a sly smile. "Shampoo know way to husband stomach through heart!"

"...But not how ta quote th' proverb. Dragon fruit? Izat some Chinese thing?"

"Is now, we grow for many generation."

"You can also get them in Okinawa, though I believe they favor a drier climate..."

"I have read about the 'moonflower' that only blooms at night, it is supposed to be very beautiful."

"Ah yes, the 'Queen of the Night', quite lovely."

"Oh my, would it not be wonderful to get some for the garden?"

"I think we probably get too much rain here for a cactus..." Hinako muttered her thoughts as she looked around the room for any more desert that no one had claimed.

"Maybe you are correct, then an indoor plant perhaps?"

"How nice." Nodoka had completely forgotten that she had intended to ask them about Ranma's progress in his carnal education, though her curiosity was not yet sated...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"I wonder what all that's supposed ta mean..." Ranma thought back to the recent actions of some of his friends, Kasumi had been spending a lot of time with his mother and Ukyo lately, the later of which he found the most confusing of all! Ukyo had been acting very strangely indeed, was she losing interest in him? That did not seem likely, though it DID seem as if they had been avoiding him a lot lately. He considered asking them, but then rubbed his cheek, remembering the last time he had done that... Asking girls about their feelings rarely ended well for him.

Shampoo's increased attention was the least surprising, though he was no less dumfounded by what she wanted outside of her usual insistence that they were married! He didn't REALLY even know what being married meant, other than typically living with a woman, and sleeping in the same bed, which he was already doing with a number of women at the moment, so he was not sure what the difference was. He had been led to believe that sleeping with a woman was something that only perverts did, but if someone like Kasumi was willing to do it with him, how bad could it be? But then if that was the case, why did it make him feel so strange?

Was HE the one who was perverted? Were Akane and the others right? Would Kasumi be friends with him if he was? Well actually that was likely, she was nice to everyone, even Happosai, and he was definitely perverted, everyone he knew agreed on that much at least, even him. It's mentioned not only when he steels underwear, but also whenever he touches a woman, so it was obvious to him that touching women was also 'perverted', but then why was it okay for them to touch him? Then he remembered that whenever a girl would touch him, that he would still be the one who was called a pervert, and belted.

He did not THINK he was a pervert, and would deny it to the ends of the earth if anyone accused him of being one, but he had been wrong before, he could admit that to himself, he might be one of the best fighters of his generation, but he was far from infallible, even if he would not admit it aloud. Then there was the fact that so many people called him one, and some of it had nothing to do with them misunderstanding his curse. According to Akane and some of the others, every boy was a pervert, and if some of the boys he knew at school were typical, then he was inclined to believe it, though it did not seem fair to him.

What would his mother think? It was not as if he had any idea, he barely knew the woman, and she was spending most of her time with Kasumi... Not that he was jealous, not of either of them, no, not at all! On the other hand, he was not exactly sure how he felt about her either, he had been on an emotional roller-coaster, from being excited about finally meeting her, to learning that he would have to commit sepuku if he did not live up to someone's idea of 'manly'! Wasn't a mother supposed to be loving, supportive, and encouraging?

His father had always told him that having a mother would make him soft, but the only thing she was making him, was the same as almost every other girl he knew, confused! At least she had not mentioned anything about killing himself directly, though he did not seem to approve of helping Kasumi around the house, but it was difficult for him to tell, women were SO hard to read, it just wasn't fair!

He figured that was his whole problem with Akane, he could never figure out what she was thinking, she would be happy one moment, then angry the next. Were all women so confounding, or was he having a strange string of luck? He had no idea, and the gods were not forthcoming with answers.

It seemed as if he was damned no matter what he did. Although, he had to admit, sometimes it was nice to be around so many beautiful women all of the time, but the rest of the time he felt as if he was teetering on the edge of a volcano during an intense windstorm, and all he really wanted was to be alone!

Speaking of being alone, he felt the tingle on the edge of his senses, alerting him that he no longer was.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Shampoo bounced into the room where Ranma was meditating, hoping to catch him in a good mood. "Nihao Ranma, today beautiful!"

"Hey Shampoo, what do ya want?"

"Oooo, Airen, Shampoo learn new game, want play! Come play with Shampoo, yes?" Ranma was hesitant, clearly not trusting her, yet Shampoo tried not to allow it to affect her mood.

"What kind a' game?"

"Yakyuken."

"Huh? 'Baseball Fist'? I guess that's some new move for that fightin' game?"

"Is for different game. Will play then, yes?"

"Ya ain't gonna leave me alone if I say 'no', so, guess so."

"Is persistent kitty what get bird, yes?"

Ranma lowered his head into his hands, and sighed.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

After a slow day, Ukyo decided to leave the rest of the clean-up to Konatsu, and hurried home as early as she was able. The first thing she did was to search for Ranma, and as she feared, he was talking to Shampoo in the gym.

"So, what do I gotta do?"

"Is too too easy! Here, Shampoo show what do with hands!"

'WHAT?' Not waiting another moment, Ukyo burst into the room! "And just what da ya think yer doin' there, Shugah?"

"We is about play game!" Thinking about it for a moment, Shampoo quickly added a follow-up question as she grinned. "Want join?"

"Ya know Ah wouldn't be havin' it any otha' way! ...But why ya dressed like it's winter?"

"Why, is wanting Shampoo show more skin?"

"NO!"

"If want, need make do!"

"As if! Now, what's this game?"

"Yakyuken."

"WHAAAAT? Do ya know what this game is, Ranchan?"

"It's some kinda Baseball fightin' game. Should I get th' bat?"

"Think Ranma already have enough 'bat' for Shampoo."

Ukyo blushed, trying to ignore her rival's euphemism. "Well, Ah guess ya could say that, but..." Suddenly a light went on in Ukyo's head. "Wait! So THAT'S why ya wearin' more 'an yer usual slutty dress!"

"No is like real warrior get cold!"

"Wait, what'd ya mean?"

"No need worry Airen, Shampoo explain rules."

"Where'd y'all e'en learn a' this game?"

"Great-Grandmother give Shampoo many informations for Japanese ...traditions, for learn husband ways! Want learn all ways make Airen too too happies!"

"Ya could try ta learn th' language..."

"Pancake-Girl is one talk. Shampoo at least have excuse, Japanese third language! Is so similar, but so different."

"Third?"

"China is big country, have many language, and need know for trade with other lands. Shampoo is know Mongolian, is neighbor to East, also know small bit Tibetan, Cantonese, even few word in Kazakh language." Thrusting her chest forward, she beamed with pride. "How many language is Flat One knowing?"

"Uhh, well, Ah guess there's English, most a' us kind a' learn that in school, an' it's a good one fer anyone goin' inta business, er servin' th' public, never know when a foreigner gonna walk into ya store. What do ya do fer yers?"

"Shampoo bat eyelash, like this, and get Grandmother."

"Figures. Why ain't I surprised? An' fer yer infermation, Ah ain't bad at mah language, it's called a 'dialect'! Ah'm from Kansai, it's how we speak there!"

"Call what will, still make meaning hard get."

"HEY!"

Wanting to cut off the argument before it got any further, Ranma did the only thing that came to mind. "So, uh, how was this game played again?"

"Husband want play with Shampoo?"

"Uh, sure, I guess. What do I gotta do?"

"Ya know, it's like Jankenpon."

"Rock-Paper-Scissors? Wait, isn't that a kids' game?"

"Is now, but book say start as drinking game, in brothel. So we is play traditional way of game!"

"Ain't we too young ta drink though?"

Ignoring the question, Ukyo started down her rival. "Um, yeah, right... I'll bet ya jus' wanna see mah Ranchan ...Naked? ...Why ain't we started yet? Come-on, Ranchan, git ready!"

"But, how we supposed ta play with three people?"

"Is easy, winner keep play, loser change out, like with Street Fight game."

"Well, Ah guess that makes sense, but ain't that a bit unfair?"

"Why?"

"Ah don't know, it just seems like someone'd have th' advantage, if'n ya git ta play th' whole time..."

"Is mean, unfair if someone win all time?"

"Well, not if'n ya put it that way...!"

Satisfied that she had stopped any 'stupid' arguments, Shampoo decided to add in one more surprise. "We play with new rule. 'Winner get take clothes from loser', but loser get pick what piece clothes take."

"WHAT?" Ukyo suddenly had flashes in her mind of her forcibly stripping Ranma as she stood there blushing embarrassedly. Drool started to leak from her mouth as it cracked into a creepy grin, her hands groping phantom buttocks.

Shampoo recovered from her fantasy of Ranma's hands rubbing over her naked body in time to see him trying to sneak away, and grabbed him by the wrist, pouting as she gave him the sad puppy-dog eyes. "Where Airen think go? No is going break promise, right? No want make Shampoo cry, do Ranma?"

"NO! Please don't cry! I didn't mean-..."

"Is too too good, Husband do right thing!"

"AH'M GOIN' FIRST!"

"Is too too eager be naked?"

"A' course not! I want..." Ukyo was not even remotely discrete as she devoured Ranma with her eyes, despite this, he remained unaware of her true intentions, even if something seemed 'off' to him.

"Uh, Ucchan, are ya okay? Ya look a little ...strange."

"Be better when ya git up there in th' ring!"

"Husband no need worry, is only cat in heat."

"Ya'd know all 'bout that, huh?"

"Is true." Shrugging, she crossed her arms. "If going go, then do now, or Shampoo go first!"

"No, no, Ah'm goin'! Ain't that right, Ranchan?"

"I guess, so this is just, Rock-Paper-Scissors?"

"With special prize for winner!"

"A prize? What is it, can I eat it?"

Ukyo blushed, but Shampoo just grinned evilly. "Any time Ranma want!"

"All right! Ya said yer first, Ucchan? Let's go!"

"First must sing song, on last line, make move, if tie, repeat last line. Is ready?" Seeing them both nod, she began to sing the words she had studied for so many hours. "Yakyuu suru nara, ni shinia shansei, Auto! Safe! Yoyoi no yoi!" Seeing them both throw a rock, she repeated the last time. "Yoyoi no yoi!" Ukyo threw 'paper', while Ranma threw 'scissors', making him the winner.

"KUSO!"

"Yeah! I won, do I get ta eat now?"

"No is yet, need win whole game. Now is taking prize from loser."

"Um, ya wouldn't do that ta meh, would ya Ranchan?"

"No, a' course not! I ain't a perv-..."

"NO! IS RULE! No avoid, no stalling, tell Shampoo husband what take now, or no play!"

"Um, well, Ah, mah slippers! Start with mah slippers!"

"Aiyaaaa, live so dangerous, yes?"

"What'm I supposed ta do now?"

"No is plain? Take stinky shoe from that one so Shampoo play with Ranma!"

"Hey! Ah been at work! That ain't fair!"

"What? Wait, why do I gotta?"

"Hey, it ain't THAT bad! Ah'm sorry, Ranchan..."

"That ain't it, ya got nuthin' on Pops, it's just that..."

"Just do! Shampoo tired waiting, want play!"

Shampoo had studied the strategies behind the game, and felt she was ready to accomplish her goals. If Ranma stripped her, he would not be able to ignore her 'too too sexy body', and she could make her mother-in-law happy by training her husband in the skill they both wanted him to learn most, it would be a triple-slam! ...And if it so happened, that her greatest rival had to watch, all the better, then no one could deny her victory! According to studies, people who won generally stuck with the same 'attack', and those who lost tended to move to the next attack in the chain. Armed with this knowledge, she had been highly successful in her practicing, being able to win ...or lose, as she desired, and now it was time to put her training to work! "Come, is done now?"

Having just finished removing Ukyo's shoes, Ranma moved to hand them back to her, and stand. "Yeah, I-..."

"No, winner keep items from loser, if want back, need earn, with ...'favor'! Is right, yes Pancake-Girl?"

Ukyo was nodding, lost in her fantasies about what she would do 'once' she won Ranma's boxers, and was no longer paying Shampoo the slightest attention.

"Why ya just tellin' us 'bout this now?"

Newborn kittens would have marveled at her innocent expression as she blinked. "Thought knew, seem obvious, that one know." Indicating the still nodding ...and drooling Ukyo, Shampoo smiled at Ranma. "Is ready play now? No worry, Shampoo go easy."

"Ya ain't gotta do that, this is one battle, where I ain't gonna hold back on ya, just 'cause yer a girl!"

Happy to see Ranma beginning to regain his bravado, she winked at him. "Shampoo hope not, no forgive if go easy."

Ranma felt a shiver down his spine as Akane flashed through his mind saying something about also being a martial artist, but quickly recovered himself, and started to mentally gloat as if he had already won the game, after all, who could beat the great Ranma Saotome?

"Hey! No flirtin'! Yer s'pposed ta be fightin'!"

"Is just game..."

"A game that I'M gonna win!"

"Aiyaaa! Husband too too eager to see beautiful wife naked body!"

Ranma had forgotten about that element of the game... "NO! I mean, that's not it! I-..."

"Why, think Shampoo ugly?"

"NO! A' course not!"

She might have had to extract the indirect compliment like a broken molar, but she would take it! Ranma was not good with words, or talking about his feelings, she knew that, but she felt that she was a good judge of his body language, and felt that he was warming up to her! Smiling, she gently took his hand in hers and pulled him toward the chalk circle she had drawn on the floor.

"Wait! Uh, why ya lookin' like that?" Ranma's instincts screamed at him to run, but with the help of the soft yet firm grip holding him, and his resolve to keep his word, he managed to stay in place.

"Hey! Ah said, 'no flirtin'!"

"Come Airen, show Shampoo who boss."

Quickly regaining his bravado, Ranma went back into his battle mindset. "Ya won't beat me!"

"Yeah, that's MAH job!"

"Violent one do enough already."

"On that we agree."

"Now, we play!" Grabbing Ranma by the wrist again, she made him face her, and looked him in the eye. "Sing!"

"If you play baseball, play it like this. Out! Safe! Yo-yoi-no-yoi!" Remembering that Ranma had thrown scissors the last time, she assumed that it was most likely that he would stick with that, and use it again, so in order to fulfill her plan as quickly as possible, she threw paper, hoping to allow him to pay close attention to her body as he unfastened the many buttons, and she was somewhat surprised that he had done the same!

"Yoyoi no yoi!" He had thrown paper and lost, assuming that he would move to the next in the list, she tossed paper again, expecting scissors to be her reply. Once again she was slightly disappointed that Ranma had instead chosen to use rock. She might have been more upset about her setback, if not for the fact that she now had the opportunity to remove clothing from him instead! It really was a no lose scenario for her!

Closing the short space between them, Shampoo slinked "So, Airen lose, what is choose for Shampoo take?"

Annoyed that he lost, even in something so 'stupid', and more embarrassed by the 'punishment' that he would care to admit, he decided to copy his longtime friend... "Shoes, I guess, right?"

Ukyo nodded profusely, while Shampoo just shrugged, she had not really expected anything else ...even if she had secretly hoped! "At least have fun making Airen earn back later!"

Frustrated, the fully clothed teen called to her opponent. "Come, Shampoo open can of whipped cream on butt!"

"Huh?" Ranma looked back and forth, confused by the metaphor, and wondering if Ukyo was trying to seduce Shampoo as well as Kasumi.

"What? No, I ain't inta girls!"

Ranma did a double take, wondering what he missed, or if she was just trying to hide the truth?

"Then why always dress as boy?"

"That's got nuthin' ta do with it!"

"Say never do, but no is so bad... What think do when husband is wife, kick from bed?"

"A' course not, Ah'd jus' go git some hot water!" Ukyo stated this, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"But, no always work, no be first time stuck in curse form..."

This was a thought Ukyo did not want to consider, and not having a good answer, she tried to switch topics. "Ain't yers worse? What if ya git stuck? Whatcha gonna do then, huh?"

"If happen, maybe see, but no change subject, say kick Ranma from bed if no man? Seem too too big problem."

"But, I thought...?" Ranma was confused, was she just denying it, even to herself?

"Well, NO! Ah mean, it ain't like I want that, but... it's still Ranchan! Even if..." Ukyo's eyes tracked Ranma's groin, remembering their times in the bath, which was already something she never would have believed she would be doing so soon! "...there's not ...that big ...'un."

Drifting off, Ukyo pictured herself in a western styled wedding gown, as Ranma, in a sharp tuxedo, carried her across the threshold of their house, where they would start their new lives together. Once he had carried her into their shared bedroom and looked into her hungry eyes, she tore his tuxedo off of him, ignoring his protests about it being a rental, and looked down at him on the bed as she moved to remove her gown, only to see she was wearing a suit matching Ranma's own...

When she looked back to the bed, Ranma had been replaced by his cured form without even a wet spot, and started to realize that something did not feel right, it could not be real, could it? Her hands roamed her own body, before ripping off her own clothing ...and, after noticing that her chest was much more flat, she saw something that should never have been there, something poking out, pointing toward Ranma-onna.

Ukyo mentally cursed Shampoo for questioning her sexuality earlier, and ruining her fantasy!

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"That is good, you are making great strides, Akane Tendo-san."

"Thank you, but you know, I told you, you don't have to always be so formal."

"Fine, Tendo-san, are you sure that it is okay for you to be out this late?"

"OF COURSE! I'M NOT A KID!"

The young Chinese man was almost bowled over by the sound of her voice. "I believe you, I never said that you were, I was just wondering if your family might be worried about you."

"Hurmph! Who cares? They're all just going to leave me anyway, only dad's left now! ...Well, unless you count Mr. Saotome, or Grandfather Happosai ...and I DON'T!"

Mousse could not find it in himself to blame her for that, he would not want to claim either of them as family either. On the other hand, he also knew what it felt like to not be wanted, so he felt a strange bit of sympathy for the two men before shaking it off.

Not wanting to continue talking about people she hated, she tried to change the subject. "Hey, Mousse?"

"Yes? Did you need something, Tendo-san?"

"Why do you keep helping me like this? It's not cause of that stupid law, is it?"

"No, of course not! It is just that now that the cafe is closed, I really have nothing better to do. Why, do you wish for me to stop?"

"What? No! Wait, the cafe is closed? What happened?"

"Don't ask. You do not wish to know, and I do not want to talk about it."

Knowing what it was like not to want to talk about something, she chose not to pry. "No, no, I understand ...Does it have something to do with Ranma?"

Mousse slumped his shoulders, knowing he was not likely to get away from it.

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NOTES

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I think this note is a chapter or so late... ;p

The moon goddess's name is Chang'e, however, her original name was 'Hang'e' and was later changed due to a later emperor considering the character in her name taboo. However, Shampoo's tribal history dates back to before that change was made, so I have her using the original name rather than the modern one. There are many variations of the myth about Moon Goddess and her husband, most of them conflict, so I took artistic license, and reworked it, if you have an issue with this version, then consider that this version of Shampoo's village has a different tradition than the rest of China.

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OMAKE 04

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"Great-Grandmother buy books, movies, and comics what teach, so Shampoo know what Japanese boy like, if Airen let Shampoo make too too happy..." She started moving closer and closer to him, as he slowly backed away, until he backed into the bed, falling over. "In your heart, Shampoo can make you feel so brand new."

Ukyo burst into the room, panting heavily, glad to see Ranma was still wearing clothing.

"What flat-chest want? Shampoo is too too much womans, none else is needed."

"Hey! Mah boobs might be smaller 'en yers, but mah love fer Ranchan's greater 'en anyone!" Ukyo blushed, she could not believe what she had just said.

"No, Shampoo love much much more!" Suddenly she burst into song.

Shampoo:

"Let me know what in your heart,

that a good place to start.

All, need is small sign,

and, give my heart to you."

Ukyo:

"You and meh have still got,

so much we need ta say!

'Friends' is not enough,

Why can't we seize th' day?"

Each of them choosing a side, they kissed his cheeks.

Ranma:

"Dontcha' know I got no idea, from this point on?"

Both:

"So far to go, until your pants are freeeee, you and meeee..."

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Will our hero's chastity stay in tact? Tune in next time for, "Take Me Out to the Ball Game", or "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend"!


	26. Chapter 26

Warning: I thought it was obvious, this is not a serious story, and nothing in here is to be taken seriously. If you are put off by sexually aggressive women taking things 'too too' far, then this is not the story for you. If you have been offended by what little has happened so far, it's only going to get worse. You have been warned! This story is rated mature for a reason, and not because it is graphic. We are dealing with people who either have no idea what they are doing, or they have completely different social norms.

*This story is a fictionalization, do not attempt this at home, or anywhere else.*

Do you REALLY need to be told this? No one in this story is a role model! No one, not even Kasumi. Also, speaking as a multiple time victim, rape is wrong... you shouldn't do it, it's bad, mmmmkay. I hope we all know better than that too.

I repeat, it is going to get worse, I am rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. Thank you. Now that the unpleasantries are out of the way, please enjoy the chapter as Ranma gets more 'lessons'.

Chapter 26 - Gaming Controversy

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Ranma stood there in his boxer shorts, looking both embarrassed and confused. "I still don't get what this's gotta do with baseball ...er fightin'."

"Ah don't get how this happened!" Ukyo wondered how she ended up in her underwear when she started wearing the most items of all.

"No is good at game."

"Ah swear, someone cheated... an' why are ya still wearin' most a' yer clothes?"

"Shampoo do what Pancake-girl do, start with hair bobbles to keep fair. Only let RANMA take Shampoo clothes!"

Ukyo might have kicked herself for that, but if she had not used her ribbon, then she would only be wearing her panties! At least Ranma was in a less clothed boat, wearing only his boxers, she just needed to beat him once! She did not look forward to what Shampoo would make her do to get her shirt and other accessories, back, at least Ranma would be nice to her... Maybe her rival was correct, she really WAS bad at this game! "Yeah, well ...jus' hurry up an' lose ta Ranchan so Ah kin git those boxers!"

"No is win yet, think will start now?" Shampoo giggled as she stepped up to stand before her airen.

Ranma was a bit nervous, he had started out this game at a severe disadvantage in the number of clothing items he had been wearing, luckily he had been doing well these last few rounds, on the other hand, he only wanted to win slightly more than he wanted to lose, which was to say, not at all, mostly it was just the principal of the thing. Even if they had seen each other nude before, it was rather disconcerting to be placed on display like a piece of meat, occasionally being ogled as if he were a well-chiseled statue. "I don't know..."

"Maybe now, Ranma open can of whipped cream on Shampoo butt now?"

The image of Ranma licking whipped cream off of the other woman's pert bottom sent a rage through young chef. "Ya betta' not! No ...wait! Don't ya let that tramp win!"

"What is call Shampoo?"

"If th' shoe fits..."

Ranma almost hoped that they would go back to their usual fighting, just so he could sneak away with what remained of his dignity intact... even if that meant half naked girls doing heavy property damage to their house. ...The house could be repaired, he was not certain what irreparable thing might happen otherwise. Why did everything having to do with girls have to be so confusing and embarrassing? His 'stupid' father had left him terribly ill-prepared for any of this stuff! He was starting to see what his Genma feared in women, they certainly had a way of making him feel weak and helpless, and he hated that loss of control! Where was someone coming to challenge him to a death-match when he needed one?

That was one thing he missed about living at the dojo, there was never a shortage of people challenging them... He had not even seen Ryoga in quite a while, though that was not exactly unusual, perhaps Ryu would...? No, he had been strangely happy lately, and barely even responded to Ranma's barbs any longer, he wondered why that might be. 'Guess that guy really wanted that dojo... We DID do a good job on it!'

Beaming with pride, the distracted martial artist barely registered that people were talking to him. "Ranchan!" "Airen!"

"Huh? What's wrong?"

"Is turn. Husband no can win, if no play."

"Might as well git it o'er with..."

"Gak!" He had almost forgotten that he was standing around in his boxers, while Ukyo was in her underwear as well. Standing there facing Shampoo, he had to admit, that seeing them both with their hair down held a strange ...appeal. It was certainly something that he did not see often, Ukyo let hers loose when she went to bed, but Shampoo almost never took her hair down unless she was washing it, something you had to do sparingly when it was that long, even with their special herbal shampoos.

"Airen left speechless by too too beautiful wife?"

"Er, I, um..."

Seeing the proud grin forming on her rival's lips, the frustrated chef practically spit out her words. "Let's jus' start singin'!"

"What? Uh, right..." Ranma barely managed to follow along with their singing, and was a bit slow throwing his move. Because of this he thought he had caught a glimpse of what Shampoo was about to throw, and without thinking, he instinctively countered it! "ROCK!" He was not proud of this moment, but his underlying need to always win managed to overpower his sense of honor in that moment, a feeling not wholly unfamiliar to him.

"AIYAAAA! Ranma beating Shampoo! Airen take Shampoo pants now!" She knew pretending to make her move a bit early would kick Ranma's natural competitiveness into gear, it was one of the few ways that was guaranteed to motivate her husband, that and challenging his manhood.

"What? Why yer pants?"

"Shirt is long as dress."

"Ah don't git it, ya usually wanna show off, Ah thought ya'd be happy ta show off yer bra."

"Sorry if disappoint, no can do..."

"It ain't like I care! But why? I mean, yer winnin' anyway."

A sudden dark cloud formed over the usually bright girl, as she growled in resentment. "Shampoo know, no need tell!" Seeing Ranma trying to take advantage of her mood swing to back away, she quickly recovered herself, refusing to let her 'bad luck' ruin the mood. "Airen ...Shampoo over here. Come, try take trouser." She attempted to give Ranma a warm and inviting smile ...it did not seem to help.

"Ain't it gone far enough? Are ya sure we gotta do this?"

The poor boy was almost bowled over by the volume of their combined voices. "YES!" Shampoo was not about to allow him to back out now, and Ukyo felt that if she had to suffer this humiliation, she would not allow her rival to avoid it!

"Okay, okay..." Hesitantly, Ranma inched his way back over to her, relieved that he only had to deal with a drawstring, rather than buttons, though he did have wonder why she chose to lose her pants before her apron, but he could not figure it out. It was not as if she had ever been shy before, it seemed strangely out of character for her.

Watching Ranma closely, Ukyo wanted to make certain that he did not linger anywhere inappropriate. With such rapt attention, she noticed something that he had not... "HEY! Why ain'tcha wearin' panties, ya pervert?" Two thoughts suddenly competed for dominance, first she had been offended that the other woman had been 'cheating', though quickly realized that the two of them were closer to being tied than she had first thought. "So THAT'S whatcha meant... Akane-chan's right, ya really are a bimbo!"

"What? Shampoo no is 'binbou', still have Japanese money! No need money in village! ...or silly under clothes."

"That ain't what Ah meant!"

"Then what mean?"

"Yer a slut, ya'd do anything ta git some!"

"No. Shampoo is dedicated, do anything only for RANMA."

"Yeah, right, betcha done it a buncha times, with Mousse, yer customers, other people in yer village-..."

Shampoo quickly stepped out of her pants as they fell to the floor, and quickly hopped over to where Ukyo stood, her finger pointing in an accusatory manner. "NO KNOW WHAT TALKY ABOUT! Shampoo never be with other mens, and rather kill self than lay with Stupid Mousse!"

"Yeah right..."

"No is one who talk, live with other cross-dress one, and other boy what always is hiding there! Is supposed to believe no call to room late night?"

"A' COURSE!"

"'Of course' ...what? Always make those mens give service? Shampoo no is surprise..."

"NO! Ah'd nev'a! Ranchan's th' only one fer meh!" Ukyo almost tripped over her feet as she jumped back in protest!

"That how Shampoo feel! Now go, let Shampoo husband kick butt."

"Not this time!" Looking down at Ranma's boxers, a sordid grin crossed her features, and she stalked forward. "Ah'm comin' fer ya Ranchan..."

"Oi! Wait!" The crazed look in his oldest friend's eyes sent Ranma reeling backwards, not wanting to let her get too close, almost grateful when Shampoo's oversized chui came down upon her head, knocking her flat.

"Hey! What's yer problem?"

"No get head self!"

"It ain't th' head a' 'mahself' Ah want..."

"No has win game yet! Need play first!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... Git back here, Ranchan!" Waiting for him to slink back over to her, she started to strategize her next move. Ranma had won with 'rock' last time, she knew that if she were in his place she would stick with what worked, and throw rock again, it only made sense, so the obvious choice was to go with paper! Unfortunately for her, despite the 'obvious' logic behind her 'cunning' system, she had not really been winning, and this one was no different.

"Aiyaaa! REALLY no is good at this game!" By the time Shampoo had stopped giggling, the daggers from Ukyo's eyes were burrowing into her bosom. "Okay, okay, make choice, what lose?"

The ashamed chef pondered that very question, and despite having been seen nude in the bathroom on many occasions, it was far more embarrassing this way! What to do? When it came down to it, like many of her countrywomen, she was far more humiliated to have her pubic hair seen, and so she reluctantly made her choice. "Sarashi..." If only she had not come straight from work, she might have worn a cute bra, but she still preferred the comfort of her bandages while working. It was all THAT WOMAN'S fault, for not giving her time to change first!

"What say? Shampoo no hear."

"Ah said, mah sarashi!" Pointing at the wrapping around her chest, Ukyo jumped up, getting into the other young woman's face. "What, Ah gotta spell it out fer ya?"

Shampoo fell back in her amusement, unable to contain her chortles. "Husband ...win ...booby prize!"

"Ain't like I was tryin' ta!"

"Owch, Ranchan!" Ukyo reeled back as if she were hit.

"What? I ain't no pervert! No matter what Akane, er anyone else says!"

"Aiyaaa! Airen no is pervert, is normal want look, even do more!"

"A' course YA'd say that, ya floozy!"

"Why? Shampoo no want Ranma look at flat one! Only want look at real wife!"

"Exactly!"

"What, did say?"

"I got no idea!"

"We know, Ranchan, but we love ya anyway! Now, git yer cute butt o'er here, an' let's do this..."

Ranma shot her a look that loudly asked, 'Et tu, Ucchan?'

"Well, er, Ah mean, it ain't like Ah 'wanna' do this, but..."

"Then let's stop here, okay?"

That was the last thing either of them wanted at this point, and they both protested ...in unison. "NO!"

"Rule is rule! No exception!"

"It's embarrassin', but th' hussy's right, playin' games like this is pretty normal, an' thems th' rules. We can't back out now..." No matter how tempting it was.

"Ya played a lot a' these games then, have ya, Ucchan?" Unable to resist, Ranma teased his oldest friend.

"A' course not, Ah ain't lived a normal life! Ain't no way Ah could do somethin' like that when everyone thought Ah was a guy! ...Not that Ah'd wanna do that with anyone else, but people talk."

"Hurry, no more stalling, take punishment like womans. Is Shampoo turn!"

Hoping to avoid any more embarrassment than necessary, and failing to end the game before things went any further, Ranma tried to play a different game, one called 'passing the buck'. "Hey, if yer in a hurry, don't let me stop ya, go right ahead."

Tempted as she was to not only keep Ranma's eyes off of her rival's breasts, but also to acquire yet another item from her to gain more 'favors', the risk of her reversing it on her when she was beaten by Ranma was far too great! "No, no, be good husband and do what told. Is for own good." The young woman had to inwardly grin at the surprised looks she had received from her 'opponents'.

Ranma did not like being told what to do, but he could not see any way around it that would not get him in deeper 'cold' water, and walked over to Ukyo like a man heading to his own funeral. "I got it..."

Noticing that Ranma had been looking into her eyes the entire time he was unwrapping her sarashi, and quite obviously avoiding even glancing at her chest, she felt an unexpected blow to her femininity. She had not even been binding them flat any more! "What's wrong Ranchan, ain't Ah 'cute' enough fer ya?"

Taking any excuse to pause in his 'work', Ranma allowed his hands to freeze as he pondered what she meant by that. "Did ya WANT me ta look? Yer almost as confusin' as Akane!"

"Well, yeah, Ah mean no, but..."

"What that one try say, girl want know boy what like think is too too beautiful! So hurry with unwrapping, and come to girl what like!" Standing there with her fists on her hips, and an impatient look on her face, Shampoo tapped her foot while Ranma finished rolling up Ukyo's chest binding.

Covering her bare chest with her hands as Ranma removed the last layers, Ukyo could not take her eyes off of his physique. "Ya betta' not lose, Ranchan, ya gotta let meh kick yer cute butt once!"

"No can beat Shampoo, how think can beat Raaanma?"

"That's RIGHT!" Wearing his emotions in place of his proverbial sleeves, Ranma's confidence started to return with the carefully placed boost to his ego. "HAHAHAHA! Nobody beats Ranma Saotome!"

Getting the desired reaction from her paramour, she called to him with an adoring expression. "Come, Shampoo have too too much better booby prize for Airen!" She reached out, gently taking his hand her hers, slowly drawing him toward her. "We play now, yes?"

His confidence evaporated in the face of the 'come-hither' look he was receiving from the provocative young woman. "Uh, I guess so?"

Keeping Ranma off balance was part of her plan, and it was working well. She hesitated as she threw her move, being careful not to be seen, and making sure that she lost to Ranma. She could have already lost to him, but she did not want to have Ukyo win, and she had worn far too many articles of clothing compared to the two of them, and she had to make sure that her rival had been defeated first, which finally seemed in reach. "Ranma is too too good at game, Shampoo never able beat!"

"And don't ya forget it!"

"Now, big, strong husband, come take Shampoo shirt."

"URK!"

"Wait, ya still ain't doin' th' apron?" Ukyo eyed her rival, still uncertain what she was planning.

"No is time ...yet. No know want see Shampoo body so badly."

"AH DON'T! ...Oh fine! Whatever! Jus' git it o'er with!" She turned away in a huff, while still watching them out of the corner of her eye.

"Uh, but, how'm I supposed ta do that?"

"Here, Ranma take hands, put under apron, undo button, one at time, work way down... Is too too good, yes? Airen like how Shampoo feel?"

She WAS surprisingly soft, considering how strong she was, but then he had known that for some time now, though he was not sure why it was supposed to matter to him... However, being this close, certainly made him feel 'uncomfortable' was the only way he knew to describe it. "Aaaah..." He might have jumped back at the realization, if not for his hands being under the apron and hers holding onto him tightly.

"Well, Shampoo like when Ranma do feeling, do slow, no want ...tear fabric. Aiyaaa, feel good!"

"Oh, would ya jus' hurry it up all ready? We ain't got all night!"

"We no have thing do in morning, Pancake-girl is only one. Ranma can take long as need, Shampoo let touch as much as want!"

'THAT SLUT!' Ukyo jumped forward, forgetting that her hands were covering part of her dignity. "Meh too! Ya can touch meh too, Ranchan!"

"NO! Wait turn! Now is Shampoo fun time! Can lose when Shampoo done."

"What? Why would I wanna lose?"

"No know, but no is winning, so Shampoo just guessing..."

"Why would anyone WANNA lose?"

Thoroughly enjoying the feeling of Ranma's hands gently brushing against her breasts, the young woman just shrugged before moaning. "Aiyaaaa... Shampoo no know..."

"Wait, that was yer plan th' whole time, wasn't it?"

"Huh? What plan do ya-? Erk!" Realizing his hand had brushed against bare skin, where he had expected undergarments, sent a shock through his system, and the hard nipple flicking across each finger eliciting a sigh from his 'adversary' did nothing to help settle him down.

The sly smile on her face spoke volumes to anyone who was literate. "Like say, 'who want lose'?"

Ranma would not have noticed, even if his eyes had been open, but Ukyo was starting realize something ...that Shampoo was now wearing nothing but an apron! "Hey! What 're ya thinkin'?"

"Shampoo thinking 'Airen is too too good with hand'..."

"Ya dirty polecat!"

Shampoo's mind drifted to a certain 'pole' that she hoped to be dancing with soon, however Ranma's mind focused on a different part of that compound word...

"Cat! Where?" Already being uncomfortable, Ranma instinctively tried to jump back slightly in his overreaction to the hated animal. However, his hands were still entangled in Shampoo's apron, which pulled her off of her feet, knocking him over, and landing on top of him with her bare bottom high in the air.

"Hey, git yer butt outa mah face! ...and git offa Ranchan!"

Squirming, the young woman made certain that her ample breasts were rubbing in his hands after their lips briefly touched. "Aiyaaaa! Shampoo try, but Husband hand, hold Shampoo too too tight!"

"RANCHAN!"

"I didn't do NUTHIN'!"

"Well, then git up!"

"I can't!"

"If that is problem, Shampoo want help!"

"Huh?"

"Whose fault ya think it is anyway! Git off a' Ranchan!"

"Is trying!" Ranma's knee had found its way to a special place, and she was enjoying every moment of it. "...almost there." She leaned in more closely, nibbling on Ranma's neck and ear.

"That's not helpin'! Yer gettin' closer, not 'off'!"

"YES IS! Want help? Stop stupid talking!"

"Hrumph!" A frustrated Ukyo, suddenly remembered something she had witnessed a lot during her days of impersonating a boy, and thought the prank was the perfect form of payback! Placing her hands together, she extended her index fingers, took aim, and fired as she called out her attack! "KANCHO!"

The sudden feeling of her anus being penetrated by the two fingers was enough to send the amorous young woman over the edge. "AIIIIIIIIIRAAAAAAAAAAAN!" The waves of shock and pleasure shot through her body as she convulsed and slid forward, nearly smothering Ranma's face under her chest.

Had they not been distracted, they might have also noticed someone saying, "Sooo manly!" in the background, but they were, so they did not hear that, nor the whispers that followed.

"Oh my, should we really be watching this?"

"DEFINITELY!"

"But how did you know there was a peep hole here?"

"GIT ...OFF!" Ukyo wished she had her baker's peel, and considered running to get it, if not for the fear of what Shampoo would do while she was gone.

"Shampoo just do..." With a dreamy look upon her face, she just snuggled with Ranma while rubbing her body against his own. "Wo ai ni!"

"AAAARRRRRGGGGG! That ain't part a' th' game!"

"No, but IS too too fun ...is how say, 'perk'?"

"No, it's infringin' on mah turn, is what it is! Yer shirt's off, now move it!"

"Is Ranma what move shirt, Shampoo just letting happen."

Seeing that she was not going to get anywhere with her rival, she decided on a new tactic. "Ranchan, why ya just layin' there cuddlin' when it's MAH turn?" She was about to start slapping him in her frustration when she saw him move.

"Zzzzz... Huh? Izzit mornin' already? Oh, hey Shampoo-chan."

"Shampoo-CHAN? WHAT waz THAT, Ranchan?"

"What's wrong, Ucchan? Why are ya bein' so loud ...and almost naked?"

"Lookit yerself..."

"Erk!" It took Ranma a moment to remember what they had been doing before he had passed out, and he flushed red with embarrassment as it came back to him. "So, um, where were we?"

"Put that slattern's shirt down, an' let me beat yer pants off!"

"Er..."

"Do, and Shampoo make pay!"

"Ya kin jus' shut it! Ya done enough already!"

"Take turn, but game no is over, until all but one is naked! All tied-up now."

"Only 'cause ya cheated!"

"Says one what wear many more thing than others..."

"Ah didn't know we were playin'!"

"So, why no limit self to same as Ranma? ...Like Shampoo do."

"What? Ya used yer jewelry!"

"Use hair ornaments even odds, same as Pancake-Girl. No use if only Shampoo and Ranma!"

"Then why'd Ah lose every round if ya didn't cheat?"

"No blame Shampoo no is good at game, lose to Ranma too, now go lose again."

"FINE!"

"Is good, one know place." Now, as long as Ranma defeated her this round, everything would work out even better than she had planned! It turned out she had little to concern herself, she had gotten the other young woman so frustrated she had long since forgotten to even cover herself, that is until Shampoo had reminded her just before they finished singing, causing her a moment's hesitation ...just enough for Ranma to gain a slight advantage.

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!" Ukyo felt like tearing her hair out, once again forgetting to cover her chest as she beat her head against the nearest wall. "Why'zit gotta be this way?"

"Uh... Ya gonna be okay?"

"Why so upset, want Ranma shorts so bad?"

"Ucchan?"

"Is like too too dirty old mens!" Shampoo's barely concealed body jiggled as she giggled at her own joke and her rival's loss of face, if Ranma had been paying attention, even he might have been distracted by the sight!

Ukyo had noticed, but was taken more aback by her words than the way her figure quivered with the lilting laughter. "HEY! Don't compare meh ta that old bastard!"

"Were ya tryin' ta steal my boxers?"

"Yeah, well, no, Ah mean, it was th' game, so, ya know..."

"Sure seem like is too too into, yes?"

"Yer a fine one ta talk about bein' 'too too inta' somethin', th' way ya actin' like cat in heat!"

"Ya did seem ta want ta win 'em pretty bad..."

"Yer about ta take MAH panties, what were ya gonna do with 'em? No, Ah don't wanna hear it!"

"Well, it ain't like I wanna, I didn't pick this game ya know... I ain't even heard a' it before!"

"That didn't stop ya from playin'!"

"Um, yer playin' too, I thought it was trainin'! 'Baseball Fist', what was I supposed ta think?"

"IS training! Too too important training! Train be good husband!"

"What's this gotta do with bein' a husband?"

"Shampoo glad ask-... HEY!" Just as she was about to take Ranma by the wrist, she was stopped.

"THAT ain't happenin'! Ya got a game ta play!"

"But, Shampoo think no want play?"

"Ah don't! Ah only wanna stop ya from doin' ...THAT!"

"Huh? What'd ya mean?"

"NUTHIN'! Jus' do it, an' git it o'er with!" Seeing Shampoo start to move toward Ranma, she interjected. "Not THAT! Ranchan, git yer butt o'er here, an' take mah panties, already! Then ya kin git mah revenge fer meh..."

"Uh... huh? Why do I gotta?"

"Is rule, Shampoo know no want, just do. Is okay."

"Hey!"

"This ain't fair!"

"That's MAH line!"

"Then what was I supposed ta say then?"

"Um, 'Whadja do that for'?"

"That don't really fit..."

"No say, just do. When done, too too sexy Shampoo is wait for you."

"So ya say..." Ukyo scoffed at her rival's 'humility'.

"Say Shampoo, say many many customers, say almost every male Shampoo meet..."

"Then go date them!"

"No want, only Ranma is good enough mens for Shampoo!"

"TOO good fer someone like ya..."

"Then what that make Pancake-Girl?"

"'Perfect'!"

Shampoo was wracked with laughter once again, and clutching her sides, looked up from her place on the floor with tears in her eyes. "Look like boy, can't even win child game, how be 'perfect'?"

"Ah've known Ranchan th' longest! We know everythin' about each other!"

Quickly recovering, Shampoo suddenly got serious, and in the other girl's face. "Really? What favorite color?"

"Blue, no, red!"

"What favorite food?"

"Mah Seafood Okonomiyaki Special!"

"Favorite show?"

"Uuuummmm..."

"Favorite song ...animal?"

"But Ah..."

"Well Airen?"

"Well, I DO like those things..."

"But is 'favorite'?"

"Well..."

"See?"

Ukyo was crushed, was she really projecting her own desires onto Ranma? Even if she did not know him as well as she thought, there was one small glimmer of hope. "But, what about ya? Ya ain't been here that long, how many of those things do ya know?"

"No as many as like, Shampoo admit, but trying learn, no just say what like self!" Crossing her arms, she turned around in a huff, her long, loose tresses, barely covering her pert bottom. "No more stalling, take punishment like womans!"

"Uh, hey! Ya say that like Ah don't wanna know!"

"Say know already, Shampoo just make point."

"But ...Ah-."

Even the lighting in the room seemed to change with Shampoo's mood as she brightened from the serious moment into her typical cheery disposition. "Now, Airen, is time do what must, then we finish good part of game before REAL fun begin!"

"Huh?"

"What 'real fun' do ya mean?"

"Already say, need earn back clothing, is like, what call, king game?"

"Wait, what? Ya mean...?"

"Is true, is what get, wearing too too many thing." Shampoo's eyes took on a wicked glint, as her smile grew. The only real disappointment was that Ranma had won more rounds than her, however she still had a number of items for bargaining, and only Ranma had beaten her, so she planned to have a lot of fun.

Suddenly realizing that Ranma had beaten her in more rounds than Shampoo, she silently thanked any kami who were listening. Surly he would not ask her to do anything too bad, and maybe she would get lucky, and he would ask her to do something she wanted to do, like give him a kiss or marry him! Somewhat more enthused about her prospects, her mood lightened, though she still wished she had been able to get some of HIS clothing instead. "Fine, let's git this over with. Ranchan, I hope ya don't make meh do anythin' TOO dirty ta git my stuff back..." She winked at him, hoping he would ask her to do something at least 'somewhat' 'perverted'.

To Ranma, her giggle sounded quite out of place, considering her mood of a moment ago, and along with the look on her face, it made him feel rather awkward. However, he tried to be a man of his word, so he nervously closed the gap between them, and got to his knee.

Ukyo entered a dreamy state as she saw Ranma look as if he were going to propose, and started thinking about all of the things they would do together as husband and wife. As Ranma slowly pulled down her panties, she could feel his warm breath in her hot place, and shivered from the feelings that it inspired. She had a sudden urge to grab the back of his head and wedge it between her legs, but was far too embarrassed to act upon it.

The disconcerted young man reluctantly claimed his prize, even having to lift her legs for her to step out of them. His recent training kicked in, and his hands automatically folded them, before he was about to toss them onto the pile of her garments. "Eh? Ya been sweatin' Ucchan? Why're they wet, and ...sticky? Should I throw 'em in th' wash when we're done?"

"AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!" Ukyo reached out and slapped her iinazuke's hands. "Don'tcha touch that!"

"Hey, it ain't like I got a choice here! Ya told me ta do it!"

Once again, they were caught up in the moment, and had missed the sound of a thump coming from somewhere outside.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

A stunned Nodoka rubbed the back of her head, wondering how any teen-aged human could be that ignorant of how the human body worked, let alone one who spent so much time studying physiology! She had known her son's education had been lacking in many areas, but for someone with a woman's body even part of the time to not know such a thing, it was clear that the next time she saw her wayward husband, he was going to need an extra-special punishment! She had recently seen a new vibrating, studded anal plug while shopping that would fit the bill nicely...

"Can you believe this level of ignorance, Kasumi-chan?"

"But, Okaa-san, there is nothing ignorant about sweating, it is a perfectly natural function."

Picking herself off of the floor, the Saotome matriarch revised her plan, it seemed as if Soun might also be in need for some punishment for allowing his children's education to be ignored... It was a sad age indeed, when parents would refuse to teach their children how to please themselves and each other. "Oh dear, my child, that was not 'sweat', not at all... I suppose we will need to have that class after all ...for ALL of you."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"No blame Ranma because no control self!"

"Yer a fine one ta talk, didn't see ya controlin' yerself a little bit ago!"

"But Shampoo no blame Ranma, other than for be too too sexy, no lie about what want!"

"Ah ain't lyin'!"

"Is too, lie to self, lie to other. No can be happy, if no be honest with self."

"Ain't like ya got any high ground there, Shuggah. Always actin' like yer married, an' Ranchan loves ya!"

"Shampoo IS married by village law, is rest who deny! What Shampoo know about Husband, Shampoo love, what no know, Shampoo learn love, is way of warrior womans. No is stupid, know Ranma no love Shampoo like want yet, but work hard, show Shampoo is best choice for Ranma! Shampoo have best body, strongest fighter, can help advance as warrior with three thousand year worth technique, and love Ranma most! Shampoo want nothing but help Airen do what want most in life, become strongest, even travel world, look for cure if want! No have shop hold in place!"

"Ah'd do that too! Mah business started as a food cart, an' Ah could go back ta that in a heartbeat! What'd ya do fer money on th' road?" Ukyo had thought she had made a good point, but was taken aback by the her look of confidence improving, not softening as she had expected.

"Live off land, like true warrior! Shampoo even happy give up everything know be with Ranma, can say same? Shampoo no more village champion, punished, lose face, no even care if go back, if be with Airen! What Pancake-Girl give up?"

How dare she! Acting as if she had not made sacrifices! She had sacrificed everything in her quest, even... "Mah femininity!"

"Aiyaaa, was too too good choice for get husband, yes?"

"Ah...! HEY! Ah got ditched by mah iinazuke, wot waz Ah supposed ta do?" After a quick side glance, she returned staring daggers into the other young woman.

Not even batting an eyelash, the foreign fighter calmly tossed her hair behind her back, and stuck her chest out. "Be MORE womans, no is obvious? Shampoo hear story, Ranma no even KNOW was girl, sound to Shampoo like no have far go... Blame Ranma, when already act like boy, sound to Shampoo like is own problem."

"Urk!"

Ranma was starting to have trouble tuning out their argument, and was starting to think this one was not going to peter out as the others had, their auras were taking on some dangerous colors. He considered his options, did he want to try to stop the fight, or follow his instincts and run away? The Saotome Final Attack was looking good, and was probably the wisest choice, but he had given his word to see this game through, and he knew they find some way to make him regret leaving now, so he figured there was really no option at all. "Hey! Come on, can't we get along well enough ta finish a game?"

Realizing that she had the advantage, and always happy to take Ranma's side, Shampoo jumped to his defense. "Airen is right, no fighting, play game!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Oh my, that was rather mature for them, was it not?"

Nodoka gave her accomplice a knowing smile, though she was not certain if this young woman was easily impressed, or if she had low standards for her son and his friends...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Seeing the sly look on her rival's face, she did not want to concede the point, but could not argue with the almost pleading expression on Ranma's features, and knew it would only make her look bad if she did. She did not really like losing in the first place, but she especially despised losing to that one, to be outsmarted by someone who could barely speak was too embarrassing for words. "Whatever, it ain't like Ah got anythin' left ta do fer it, but this ain't o'er."

"No, is only half way point, fun part of game starting next..." Turning her attention back toward her goal, she adopted a sultry expression, and inched closer, like a cat to her prey, looking every bit ready to pounce at the slightest provocation. "Now, show Shampoo place, yes?"

"Shouldn't ya be rootin' fer yerself? That's weird!"

"Shampoo ALWAYS root for Ranma!"

"Hey! ...That's low."

"No is low, is true, take Ranma side all times, even when fighting Great-Grandmother!"

"E'en against yerself?"

"Ranma side, IS Shampoo side!"

"Huh?"

"Is too too simple understand, yes? Shampoo no can lose if Ranma win. What no get?"

"So, yer jus' lettin' Ranchan win? How's that fun?"

"No LET win, cheer on!" Shampoo felt a bit guilty about stretching the truth, but she refused to let it show, this was not an actual competition after all, it was training, a game, one in which she would win by losing! "Is, how say, 'cheerleader' for Airen always?"

Ranma was doubly embarrassed, not only due to the way Shampoo was talking about him, but also because he was reminded of a certain competition he would just as soon forget! How did he keep letting himself get talked into these humiliating positions? He should be able to stand up for himself in situations like this, he was a confident man, was he not? He certainly did not wish to admit his father could have been right, that being around women would make him weak, but that certainly seemed to be the case, just not in the way the man had implied. 'Why were these things so complicated? Women might be 'soft', but they were never 'easy'...'

"At least win some, if any is let person win, no is Shampoo..."

"Hey! AH AIN'T LETTIN' NOBODY WIN!"

Not allowing a nude chef in her face bother her, Shampoo calmly crossed her arms, intentionally looking down at her like she would to a pitiful child. "That almost worse, no?"

"Uh, hey! Don't ya look down on meh! Ah ain't th' one whose always flauntin' themselves fer men's attention!"

"Is one doing now..."

"Urk!" Realizing the truth of that statement, Ukyo quickly curled into a ball, trying to hide herself behind her legs. "Jus', jus' git this o'er with!"

Her mood instantly brightening again, the young woman bounced across the room, drawing the eye of friend and foe alike. "Ranma, come play with Shampoo now, yes?"

Knowing that he did not really have any choice, Ranma slowly stepped toward the deceptively inviting trap, even as his instincts screamed at him to flee, knowing full well the danger that that awaited him. It really was a no-win situation, one in which he was already losing ...badly.

"Why no is happy, Ranma? Is winning, get see beautiful womans, no can lose, yes?"

"Yeah, right..." Nervously glancing around, he desperately tried to find the expected killing intent that would always follow these situations. If it wasn't Akane, it was Ryoga, Mousse, one of the Kunos, or any number of other people who did not want to see him happy! ...Wait, 'happy'? Was THAT was this was supposed to be then? Was he ...'happy'? It was so confusing...

"Is true. Most mens kill be in place! Ranma no hate womans, right? No be like Violent-Girl?"

"NO!"

"Then th' bimbo's right, we're goin' through all this fer ya, ya should be happy, most guys'd be."

"I don't want ya ta be miserable, an' I weren't th' one that wanted ta play, ain't this really ta make th' two a' ya happy?"

"If Husband no want make 'miserable', then is easy make too too happy!" Looking at him with her half-lidded eyes, she ignored the cold sweat as she took his hand in hers, and led him toward the center of the room. "Game should be fun, no make unhappy. Shampoo do 'anything' make Ranma happy, win next round, and even do more thing."

"Ah'd do anythin' too!"

"Is true? No seem to Shampoo."

"A' course it's true! What ya think?"

"Shampoo think only think of self, and what make self happy."

"And ya think yer any better? Ah heard what ya plan!" Forgetting herself again in her outrage, Ukyo jumped back to her feet, pointing in accusation. "Ya wanna take Ranchan back ta China ta treat like a slave, an' just use as a breedin' stud!"

"A what?"

"No is true! Grandmother want go back, but Shampoo no care as long as with Ranma, tell this already! Is true, want Ranma help make village stronger, and help train be stronger, but if Ranma no want go, then Shampoo happy stay here!" Quickly turning her head, pretending to look for anyone spying on them, she lowered her voice to a hushed tone. "Let in on secret, Shampoo like see world, is why leave in first place, kill girl just excuse, no really care ...until break heart."

"Urk!"

"Then why'd ya stay?"

"Didn't, run away to China. But learn about lie, come back, learn truth, and find Ranma is everything want and more! Shampoo know Ranma no hate Shampoo, made say lie, force by Violent One and family. Ranma no love yet, but Shampoo show is best choice."

"Talk about 'delusional'! Obviously, AH'M th' best choice! We're best friends! Ain't that right, Ranchan?"

"Well, yeah, but..."

"Is how say, 'friend zone'?"

Ukyo felt as if a bolt pierced her heart, an arrow with the words 'friend zone' written on it, and she fell back a step with a groan. Looking into his eyes, she hoped to see a denial, but only found him nodding at the word 'friend'. "No ...fair."

Having had her attack strike true, she felt it was time to finish this stage of the game. "Come Ranma, let Shampoo help."

"STOP THAT!"

Innocent as could be, Shampoo casually glanced at the other woman, completely ignoring her growling. "What stop? No can stop, game no over. No got do-over either."

Ranma's expression told Ukyo that he was baffled by her actions, but it was when he turned away from her to look at Shampoo, and 'clearly choosing' that other woman over her, that she 'knew' that she had lost that round.

"Let's get this over with, I'm startin' ta get hungry."

Her infectious grin broadening, the buxom beauty gently tugged on his arm. "No worry, Shampoo take care of problem too too soon."

Eager for food, Ranma allowed himself to be led into the last round of the game. Shampoo had been helping Kasumi and himself preparing meals, and her already impressive cooking skills had been improving considerably, so he was already salivating in anticipation. Both of the young women misinterpreted the cause, and incorrectly assumed he was eager to remove Shampoo's apron, leading to each of them having drastically different reactions. The depressed chef just crossed her arms in a huff, while the winsome warrior winked.

"Come, beat Shampoo now, yes?"

Ranma felt a strange sensation as the young woman tugged on his arm, and it made him EXTREMELY uncomfortable once again. The only thing he held onto with any certainty, was that no matter how this played out, something bad was going to happen to him, and he was not looking forward to finding out what it would be. It did not matter what anyone could think to accuse him of doing at this point, he did not think he would believe his denial either. What would he do if someone came in the room? What would his mother say, or Kasumi? Or worse, if Nabiki started taking pictures!

Seeing him starting to sweat, she assumed her feminine charms were working, and she mentally patted herself on the back. "No need be nervous, Shampoo be happy if just try. Is ready take Shampoo favor?"

"I guess, sooner we're done th' better."

"Shampoo too too happy Husband want see naked!"

"RANCHAN!"

"What? That ain't what I meant!"

"Naked one have no room talk!" Returning to her sultry demeanor, she slowly pivoted back toward her paramour. "Ranma, pay that one no time. Play more with Shampoo, yes?"

"Why ya draggin' this out, ya tryin' ta torture meh, er what?"

Eager for the upcoming stages to begin, she merely turned her head, stuck out her tongue, and winked before facing Ranma, while starting to sing in her lilting voice and happily swinging her bare derriere. Mentally picturing how she planned to have Ranma wrap his arms around her as he untied her apron, she was practically drooling. Soon, Ranma would be all hers, and she could get him to do several fun things while getting their clothing back!

With Shampoo lost in thought, and Ranma doing his best to avoid looking at the dancing flesh before him, it took Ukyo's accusation for them to even look at their own hands. "Ya must a' cheated!"

Shampoo's sharp, hushed voice was barely audible as she cussed at her misfortune. "Gaisi! Thought throw paper..." However, she quickly recovered, and threw it back in the other woman's face. "First accusing Shampoo of try lose, now say cheat for winning! What is problem?"

"You is ...er' Ah mean, 'Yer mah problem'!"

Wanting to stop the argument, Ranma decided to bite the bullet. "Well, ya said 'no do-overs', so let's get on with it." Even if this was not a fight, it WAS a battle of sorts, and he hated to lose, more than almost anything else. While he did not want to play this game again any time soon, he needed to figure out a way get them back for his confounding defeat. His attention was focused on the one who had actually beaten him, Shampoo, since Ukyo had been humiliated even further than himself. He did not really want to fight her, so he would need some other form of competition, and while he did not wish to admit it, he knew he could not really beat either of them consistently in that fighting game of theirs.

"Get back! Shampoo no need help! Can take shorts ..by ...self!" The tearing sound drew all of their attention, as they looked down to see pieces of fabric in each of their hands.

Ranma was a bit put out, that was his favorite pair of boxers, however, the feeling of the warm breath, combined with the knowledge that two very cute faces were scant centimeters from his nether regions, counteracted that annoyance and just worried the hell out of him, not that he would ever admit that aloud. "Um, girls?"

"See, look what did!"

"What AH did? Yer th' one what tore it!"

"Was Shampoo turn! Loser no get turn!" Remembering a previous comment, she decided to twist the proverbial knife. "Is wanting take Ranma panty so bad? Really is like dirty old man!"

"What? ...No! Ah jus' wanted ta help, an'..."

"What Shampoo say? 'No need help'!"

For his part, Ranma was just trying to ignore everything that was happening below him, and how dangerous it was. As a testament to his ability to tune out his surroundings, it took him a moment to realize that since they had shredded his boxers, and he had been thus denuded, he no longer needed to be standing so close to them, so using his hands to cover his modesty, he hopped back to the other side of the room with an, "Urk!"

The removal of the object of their ...affection reminded them of the rest of the third person in the room, and how they were on the verge of losing him if they were not careful. "Where Airen going? No is done yet. Now is time for best part, yes?"

"Yeah, don't ya go runnin' off now, Ranchan."

"We now move to next part, where all can have fun at same time." Shampoo tried to smile reassuringly, happy that they had managed to even get as far as they had.

That sounded good to Ukyo, it was about time she got to have some fun too! "Right! So how we gonna do this?"

"Well, since lose most, Pancake-Girl want win back first thing?"

Ukyo was amazed! Was Shampoo was helping her covering her shame? It was hard to believe. "Sure, Ah, uh... Thanks, Ah guess."

"First, for slippers, what make do? ...Shampoo know, go make tea and snack for rest of game!"

"Wait! Ranchan won those, so that's who should pick, right?"

"Is what Airen want, yes?"

She did not like leaving them alone, and going to make snacks was not 'fun', but at least it gave her a chance to remind Ranma of her cooking skills, and if that was what he wanted... "Fine!" As she started to look for something to put on, Shampoo stopped her.

"Need win back before can wear thing!"

"WHAAAAAAAAT?"

"No get clothes, until win back in game, now go make food for us."

"No way! That's too embarrassin'!"

"Is late, just no get caught."

"But, Ah can't cover up with my shoes!"

"No can wear until win back. Is fair, yes?"

"Ah guess..." It was hard for her to argue the logic, but that did not make the embarrassing task any easier. She silently wished her family's style of Okonomiyaki Ninjutsu stressed more of the Ninja's stealth techniques, but no, they had to rely on their cooking skills to get them into places! It was days like today, that she lamented the unfairness of it all. Perhaps she could ask Konatsu for help with that later, the young kunoichi was quite skilled in that department after all. Unfortunately, that would not help her safely get to the kitchen and back that evening. If only she had brought her portable grill...

Watching her rival cautiously walking into the hallway, she decided to go on the attack, and like a feline, she readied to pounce. "Now, while wait, Ranma want win back shorts, yes?"

"But, there ain't nuthin' left a' 'em, what's th' point?"

"Shampoo make new pair, for now, still need win back scrap. Is rule."

"Okay... I guess, but that's a messed up rule!"

"Trust Shampoo, make like rule." She slowly walked up to him, not wanting to scare off her prey, she kept her eyes locked onto his, and like a deer caught in headlights, he found himself unable to move until she was almost pressed up against him, as she pushed him back into a chair. "Now, win shorts back, need only stay still, close eye, and no move until Shampoo done."

"Huh? Okay, that don't sound too hard."

Mumbling under her breath, the young warrior could not help but respond. "Oh, if Shampoo do job, will be..."

"What's that?"

"Come, Shampoo make Ranma 'man among men'!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Oh my! Isn't it far too soon?"

"Oh, come my dear, it is just starting to get to the best part... Here, would you like some of this popcorn?"

Not certain where the older woman had gotten the unusual snack, but Kasumi did not wish to be rude, and accepted a small portion while continuing to hold her ear to the glass against the wall, to better hear the sounds emanating from within the other room. All in all, it made her feel a bit like her younger sister, though at least she had no plan of blackmailing anyone over what she had overheard.

"Don't worry, it is far better for the man to have some experience before they get to you. Trust mother, you will enjoy it more when you do."

"Oh my, whatever do you mean 'me'?"

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Ukyo was far to worried about running into someone while on her quest of shame to notice the unusually closed door to the room next to where they were playing their game, and breathed a sigh of relief when she finally entered the empty kitchen. After a quick moment to catch her breath, she started the water for their tea, and set about making the fastest servings of Ranma's favorite Seafood Special Okonomiyaki in her life.

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Shampoo had considered placing a blindfold over his eyes, but decided that not only would it go against the 'no covering until wining back your clothing' rule, but she would honestly prefer that he be able to see what she was doing, if he chose to peek that is. With that, her hands began to softly glide over his firm, muscular back, whispering sweet nothings as she nibbled on his ear. "Remember, Ranma promise stay still, and noooo peeking..." She emphasized her point by kissing the back of his neck.

Ranma just sat there, frozen, with his hands in his lap, terrified as to what might happen. The strange new sensations he was feeling from the beautiful young woman's touch were trigger his flight or fight response, and it was taking everything he had to stay put as he had been instructed. The only thing that gave him any small relief, was that at least they were alone, even the normally relaxing massage was only making him feel that much more on edge. He was unable to feel any pain from the occasional bite or pinch, to his toughened hide they were nothing more than a light brush, it ...tickled, but also sent strange tingles throughout his body. "What're ya doin'?"

Whispering softly into his ear, her breathy voice warmly caressing his lightly damp earlobe. "Is what Mother say do, no? Husband no worry, Shampoo only make feel good, no do anything hurt Ranma, ever ...unless want Shampoo do."

His pride pricked, he could not help but to react defensively. "A' course ya can't, I'm Ranma Saotome, and yer just a girl." His laughter was cut a bit short by the pain from the teeth on his right nipple that he refused to allow himself to acknowledge!

"Why Ranma need be such sexy pig?"

There was no way he could admit defeat in the face of a direct challenge! Not even as her hands brushed across his buttocks on their way down to his feet, nor the way they worked over his toes, slowly working their way back up. He must remain stoic for as long as he was able! He managed quite well, that is until her hands had reached his own, and attempted to move them. "But, ya said not ta move..."

"No, say 'stay still', do what Shampoo say and feel too too good."

"But ...this ain't right, right?"

"Say who?"

"Everybody says!"

"Shampoo no say."

"Well, A' course, ya don't think so!"

"Is Shampoo no part of 'everybody'? Is Shampoo no person?"

"I didn't say that!"

"Then, do feel bad?"

"Well, not exactly 'bad', no..."

"Just relax, Shampoo know what like..."

"Oh, an' what'd that be?" Ukyo was breathing heavily as she threw open the door.

"Shampoo no tell." Wagging her bared bottom to taunt her opponent.

"Ah'm slavin' o'er a hot stove, an' this is what yer doin' while Ah'm gone?"

"What? I ain't done nuthin'! I'm jus' sittin' here!"

"Open yer eyes Ranchan, that hussy's got ya by th' balls!"

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Digging deeper into her popcorn, Nodoka was practically drooling. "Here we go, it's starting."

"What is starting, Mother? This embarrassing game has been going for some time now..."

"My dear, I know your life has been difficult, but it seems as though we really need to expand your education a bit more." The Saotome matriarch pulled something from the pocket on her apron, tossing the small elliptical object into her lap. "Here, play with this for now."

Kasumi turned the silver plastic item over in her hands, looking at it curiously. When she turned the dial, it started to 'buzz' and jumped out of her hands, landing on the hard, wooden floor, where she quickly scooped it up before it alerted their 'neighbors' to their presence. While she felt guilty about eavesdropping, no matter how many times she had needed to do it in her life, she was grateful to Ranma and Shampoo for the lessons in hiding her presence, while Nodoka already seemed well practiced at it herself. "What am I-...?"

Sighing to herself, she turned to the young woman sitting next to her, and placed her hand on her shoulder. "For now, just hold it tightly between your thighs, as close to 'home' as possible while you keep quiet and listen..."

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"Well, either way, here's yer tea an' snacks, ya bettah eat up, ya wouldn't want it gittin' cold now would ya? Eat up!"

Not even glancing at Ukyo or the food, she mumbled mostly to herself. "Shampoo want eat lots..."

Happy to get this opportunity to stop whatever weird thing Shampoo was trying to do, he jumped on the excuse, completely ignoring the light resistance. "All right then, let's dig in!"

"But... Shampoo no done..."

"Ya said ya wanted ta eat, an' ya promised me we'd have food soon..."

"...Is true, but no is what..." Tearing her eyes away from Ranma's lap, she made a fatal mistake, and looked him in the eyes, and was unable to resist his imploring expression. Well, she still had two more articles of his clothing to use, so she would still have more opportunities to gain his favor, while denying him this would cost her far too much, and she relented. Then she got an idea that quickly cheered her up. "Come, let Shampoo feed Ranma, make full!"

"Hey! Ah made it, shouldn't Ah be th' one ta feed Ranchan?"

"No is want earn next item back? If want stay naked, Shampoo no mind, no can compare figure anyway."

"Urk!" Quickly covering her dignity with her hands, Ukyo cursed herself for allowing the hated woman to continue to push her buttons and upset her to the point of distraction.

"Nah, I can eat faster on my own." Not be proven wrong, his hands almost seemed to vanish as he made the food disappear almost as quickly.

"Aiyaaaaaa... Airen WAS hungry! For ribbon, make some for rest of us..."

"Again?" Wanting to get mad, Ukyo saw how eagerly Ranma was packing away her cooking, and decided to take what victories she could manage. "Well, Ah guess I can't say no when Ranchan's enjoyin' mah food that much!" She needed to take advantage of the situation, using anything she had at her disposal, it was not as if Shampoo would pull any punches. If that woman was going to make her do all of the cooking, then she would make the best food she could!

She considered grabbing her portable grill, but wanted to finish and get back as quickly as possible, so she put everything into making twice as much, in half the time before rushing back to find that Ranma was finishing off the last one. 'Perfect timin'!' The voracious way in which he looked at her as she entered the room, made her blush, which was quite a sight in her nude state, with her arms full of trays of okonomiyaki.

"Ucchan, yer back!"

"Ranchan! Did ya wanna have dinner, a bath, or ...me?" 'EEEEEEEeeeeeeee! Ah can't believe Ah said it! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!'

"Ain't it obvious?"

Ukyo was too lost in her fantasy to respond, and it was not until her hands were empty, that she realized that in spite of her state of dress, she had been completely ignored in favor of the food she had prepared! She knew she was one of the best okonomiyaki chefs in the country, but this was a bit much! How could she stand for such an insult to her femininity? If she did not want to lose, she needed to pull out all of the stops!

"Next thing is sash for shirt sleeve. Is Ranma turn, what want Pancake-girl do win back thing?"

"I don't really care..."

"Ranchan ...thank ya." As she started to reach for her tasuki, she was stopped. "Hey! What's th' big idea?"

"Is rule, Ranma must give ...how say, 'dare'? Like dare Shampoo kiss Ranma, or take for dating..."

"It's mine! If anyone's kissin' anyone ta git it back, it's gonna beh meh!"

"Shampoo no want kiss Pancake-girl ...unless Husband want see...?"

"Huh? Why'd ya-...?"

"Not if mah life depended on it!"

"No life, but..."

"But, why's it only meh that's gittin' ordered around?"

"Do when not here. Lose most, get most turn. Need win round, to give order."

"HEY! But, when do Ah git ta 'have fun'?"

Leaning in and lowering her voice to hushed tones, Shampoo spoke slyly. "Is too too fun, do 'favor' for Ranma, yes? Maybe Husband ask do something 'fun', yes?" Stepping back, she returned to her normal tone of voice. "Be glad no tell go shopping."

"NO! Ya wouldn't?

"No is up to us, is Ranma what decide do next."

"FINE! What do Ah gotta do this time..." Realizing to whom she was yelling, Ukyo's voice suddenly dropped to just above a whisper. "...Ranchan?"

Ranma may have been a creative person when it came to combat strategies, however where his social life was concerned, his imagination was severally lacking. "Well, now, what SHOULD I ask for?" The two young women were far too distracted by his unabashed strutting as he paced back and forth while rubbing his chin, to mind his haughty tone, nor to track the passing time as he considered his options. "I know, I want a double deluxe Ucchan special, with extra everything!"

He was quite caught off guard by the volume and intensity of the reaction. "WHAT?" It was so loud that he could have sworn there was a third voice mixed in there, but he was sure that he would have noticed if there had been someone else present.

"What 'what'? I can't ask for food? Ain't that what we're doin'? Why can ya do it, but not me?"

While mildly glad that he did not ask Ukyo for anything she had wanted to do herself, she was still a bit surprised that not only was he still hungry, but that he had also not had anything more 'fun' in mind... especially after her previous example. She would have to try even harder when it was her turn again! "Shampoo no mind."

Growling at the fact that she was about to strode out into the house for the third time in the buff, she remembered something that some of her old classmates had talked abut when discussing their fantasies, and she came to a decision. "FINE! Ah'll be right back ...AGAIN! Jus' ya wait!"

As soon as the disgruntled chef stomped out of the room, the apron clad beauty winsomely smiled at her beloved. "Now is time for we to be alone again... What Ranma want do next? We pick up where left off, yes? Finish what start?"

"Weren't we done with that? Ya said till ya were done, an' ya started eatin'..."

"Shampoo still want dessert!"

"Why didn't ya ask Ucchan?"

"No want that one make, when Ranma have what Shampoo want right here."

The door flew open, stopping her slow advancement with a bang. "Don't ya make another move! Ah ain't lettin' ya do whatever ya want while Ah'm having ta do everythin'! Ya want meh ta cook, then sit down, and close yer eyes 'till Ah say ta open 'em!" Quickly setting up her grill and cooler, she set about making several stacks of fresh okonomiyaki, completely loaded with everything she knew Ranma loved!

Ranma waited as patiently as he was able, but was tempted to peek when he heard several grunts and gasps, though he managed to restrain himself enough to just ask, "Ya okay, Ucchan?"

After a sharp intake of breath, she quickly responded in a strained voice. "Nah, Ah'm fine, jus' gimme another moment."

"Ow! ...Okay, ya kin open yer eyes now, but this feast is jus' fer Ranchan! Keep yer hands off, Hussy! One SUPER Special Ucchan Deluxe ...with EVERYTHING!"

"Erk! What'd ya do?" Opening his eyes, Ranma saw Ukyo laying on a table, covered in steaming okonomiyaki!

"Mmmm, well, Ah remember guys at mah old school talkin' about wantin' 'nyotaimori', so Ah wanted ta serve ya a super special dish." Her breathing was shallow, and a bit pained.

"Why-...?"

"Don't ask, just eat, 'quickly' ...this is a ...bit warm!"

Ranma was torn, on the one hand, he wanted the food, and did not want to see his friend in pain, on the other hand, he was not comfortable touching her naked body, even with chopsticks!

"Please, hurry."

Having a hard time speaking between her laughing fits, their onlooker tried not to choke on her own words. "Shampoo read that one, is reason use cool food!"

"Okay, so Ah didn't really think it through, now shut up, an' let Ranchan eat!"

Ranma was unable to eat at his normal speeds, he did not want to accidentally hurt her, or even touch her if he could help it! He tried to pull them from her and make a stack on his napkin, with one hand as he gobbled them up with the other.

Not really hungry, but a bit curious, and always happy to turn the proverbial tables on her rival, she decided to ask anyway. "Sure no want Shampoo help? Skin more red from burning, than pink from blushing..."

"No! Only Ranchan get's ta enjoy this feast!"

"No be so sure, may not enjoy self, but Shampoo is liking just fine." She took no small amount of pleasure watching to the other young woman squirm, figuring it served her right for not thinking.

"Damn ya!" She knew that the slightest shift could cause her precious 'Ranma bait' to fall to the ground, and it took every bit of Ukyo's willpower to resist moving. She had poured her heart and body into this meal, and she wanted him to enjoy every bite!

"Oi! Don't move!" Her reaction to the insult caused Ranma to miss and poke her breast with his chopsticks, he automatically retracted his hand, brushing her other breast with his hand.

'Totally worth it!' "Don't ya worry Ranchan, this is a meal ya kin ...eat with yer hands! Don't fergit ta try th' special dipping sauce, er ta lick yer 'plate' clean!"

"That's okay, aaahhh..." Taking the last large piece, he uncovered yet another bright red spot. "I think I'm done, but, ya sure ya okay? Ya look a bit like a lobster."

Suddenly acting shy again, Ukyo batted her eyelashes, and licked her lips. "Ah think Ah need ya ta rub some topical cream on mah skin, Shuggah."

"Uhhh... yer back looks fine, what can't ya reach?"

"Oh, mah, it hurts ta move, help meh Ranma Saotome, yer mah only hope!"

"But-..."

"Rather have touch Shampoo, but Husband need be able touch womans one day. Maybe if start with almost boy make easy for Ranma?"

"HEY!" Old habits dying hard, she sat up, getting into the other woman's face.

"Thought say no can move..."

"OW! Damn it!"

"Ucchan, why'd ya even do that?"

"Wasn't it ...sexy?"

"Hell if I know, but it seemed pretty dumb ta me. Ya shouldn't hurt yerself fer no reason."

"Oh Ah HAD a reason, an' Ah'm pretty used ta gettin' burned, but Ah could use a bit a' that burn cream here, ya mind givin' meh a hand, Ranchan ...or two? Ah could do it, but it'd be a lot easier if ya'd help meh ...please?"

"Wouldn't it be better if another girl did it?"

"NO!"

"Why not? I thought-..."

An evil grin crept over her beautiful features. "Well, Shampoo LOVE helping!"

"No, anythin' but that!" She just knew Shampoo would be unduly rough, and she did not think she could handle that, even if she was embarrassed to let Ranma to do it!

"But-...?"

"But, first, ya gotta lick off all of this extra sauce...!"

"What? Why?"

Ukyo adapted her best 'kicked puppy' look, almost begging him with her eyes. "Because a towel would be too rough on mah tendah skin... What's wrong Ranchan, don't ya like mah ...special sauce?"

Expecting Ranma to ask for more food, Shampoo started to imagine safer variations on Ukyo's serving idea, hopefully ones that might be more tempting for her 'airen'. If he could do this for rival, then he could do even more for her! She knew that if Ranma could get over his shyness, he would be more than enough man for her, but most of her so called rivals here were not worthy to become members of her village, even by adoption! While she was REALLY not fond of the chef, she had to at least respect her to a degree, which was more than she could say about most of them. While she would much rather allow Ranma to do his 'training' on her, as long as he becomes skilled, she was not going to be overly fussy as to how it happened, so long as he came back to her, and how could he resist?

Ranma wanted to help his friend, the last thing he wanted to do was to watch a girl suffering, but licking her body? How could he do such a thing? ...Even if it was Ukyo's own okonomiyaki sauce! Such conflicting emotions! How could any man handle such a dilemma? He was just hungry, not a pervert, right? Well, actually he was not exactly 'hungry' any longer, but he WAS a glutton, and in part due to his upbringing, it was difficult for him to turn down good food! However, did all of that make this okay? He knew that Akane would call him a lecher for sure, but if he were being honest with himself, she would have called him that for just living in this house with so many women, never mind what he had been doing all evening, and he was finding it difficult to argue the point.

He might not have known much about what it meant to be a pervert, but he certainly knew a number of definitive examples, and he wanted to be nothing like them! He just could not shake the feeling that he was heading in the wrong direction, and that there was a mallet waiting for him just around the proverbial corner...

"What're ya waitin' fer? Hurry up an' do it!"

Seeing the way the other young woman pounded her fist on the table upon which she was resting, made her wonder. "Shampoo is thinking maybe no is hurt bad as say..."

"Ooooch, oh, ow, Ah don't know how Ah kin go on like this..."

Amazed that even her Airen could be moved by such obviously inauthentic performance, Shampoo just sighed to herself. "Husband just do, and get over with."

"Yeah! Wait ...what? Why're ya helpin' meh?"

"We is friend, yes?"

"No, we're not!"

Ignoring the retort, she turned to Ranma, trying to encourage him to continue. "Is easy, like take bad tasty medicine, just do quickie."

"Hey! Ah do NOT taste bad! Mah sauce is th' best in the country, ...maybe e'en th' world!"

"No matter how good is sauce, if put on rotten thing... Not like too too sweet Shampoo."

"Talk about 'rotten' ...'spoiled's more like it. Bad beef gits a sweet smell too."

"Know what say, eat Chinese, horny again in twenty minute."

"Why don't we let Ranchan decide who tastes bettah?"

"Now is sing Shampoo song! No could agree more!"

"Huh? What happened?"

"Is Ranma favorite, blind taste test with no Violent-Girl poison cooking for worry."

"But, what about th' rest a'-..."

"We finish soon, no is need stupid clothes for this part! Is important for choosing, yes?"

At that moment the door burst open revealing Nodoka, with Kasumi being almost dragged along behind her. "Exactly my dear, very important, this is something we MUST judge!"

"WHAT?" Unable to believe her misfortune, she had been about to get lucky, when they were interrupted ...again! Never mind Ranma, she was starting to think that she was the one who was cursed! She had endured one humiliation after another that night, and this was the last straw! She jumped off of the table, and proceeded to make her escape when a gentle, yet firm hand rested upon her shoulder, preventing her from moving another centimeter.

"Now, you don't really want to do that, do you?"

Quickly covering himself, Ranma tried to back away from the others. "Mom, what're ya doin' here?"

"To help my son become a man among men, of course! I have missed out on most of your achievements so far, and I will not be further derelict in my duties. I will be there to help you like a good mother should!"

"WHAT?" The three Japanese youths were shocked!

"Is mother right to do..."

"What kind a' stupid rule is that?" Ukyo did not want anyone else's help, she had to prove that she could do this on her own! Not that she was sure why that was the case, but it was something she felt deep down and could not shake. More than anything, she just resented being interrupted when she had been so close!

"In village, is mother what need make sure son is train for good groom duty. No learn good technique, no make good husband!"

"Wait! What, do ya mean...? ...Well, that would explain a lot." She had always wondered about that village, the more she heard, the weirder it sounded to her.

"Shampoo help mother train son, if be need! Ranma can practice on Shampoo any time!"

"Huh? Wait! Meh too!"

"And here I thought you were planning to run away if I had not 'caught' you..."

"Yeah, well, Ah mean, that's not what Ah meant... that is ta say that Ah jus'..."

"For now, just go get yourself cleaned up, and meet us back in here when you are done, and I have things set up here."

"But-..."

"No 'buts', you are a mess, and we are not savages."

"But, mah sauce..." She did not want to wash off the thing she knew Ranma loved so much, she wanted to take any edge she could get!

"..Is not the point of this, is it?"

"Well, no, not really, but-..." Perhaps she could find another way to use that to her advantage...

"Now go on, and take this one with you, but do not take too long." Watching the two of them heading toward the door, she turned to her 'partner in crime', who was still sitting on the floor behind her. "You will help me, won't you Kasumi my dear?"

"Help? Well, of course I want to help..." Considering the way things were looking, she was reluctant to accept, but she found herself unable to refuse, if she could help them, then she wanted to do everything she was able to do, it was her reason for living! Though she was having trouble regaining her footing, without dropping her recent 'gift'.

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NOTES

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I probably should have put this in there last time as well...

Yakyuken - Strip Rock-Paper-Scissors - Some of you are likely confused by the song, and why it is called 'Baseball Fist'. As I stated in the story, similar games have been used as drinking games, in brothels as far back as the Edo period. The song itself though, seems to have come form a baseball coach in the 1920's, who was cheering on his losing team, by singing and dancing, and it became iconic to the team. In the 1950's, various singers adapted the dance and song into various singles, which changed a few times over the next couple of decades. In 1969 Japanese TV performed a skit taking place in the red-light district, which combined the idea of stripping to hang-sign games with the baseball song, and the rest is history. As a side note, if I understand it correctly, the clothing was then auctioned off for charity.

The full lyrics are:

"Yakyuu suru nara, Kouiu guai ni shashanse. Nagetara, kou utte. Uttanara, kou ukete. Rannaa ni nattara essassa... Aauto... Seifu... Yoyoi no yoi!"

My loose translation:

"If you play baseball, it should be played like this. Throw like this, it's a strike! If it's hit, catch like this! When you're the runner, hustle! Hustle! Out! Safe! Yo-yoi-no-yoi!"

The Shortened Version:

Yakyuu suru nara, ni shinia shansei, Auto! Safe! Yoyoi no yoi!

My Translation:

"If you play baseball, play it like this. Out! Safe! Yo-yoi-no-yoi!"

Binbou - (bean boy) - is a slang term for a poor person, 'someone who can only afford to eat beans'.

gāi sǐ - (Mandarin) 该死 (Trad) 該死 (simp) - Damn it!, damned, wretched

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OMAKE 05

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"Music, start!" The trio started singing along with the tape. "...Out! Safe! Yo-yoi-no-yoi!"

Shampoo grimaced as her 'paper' was beaten by Ukyo's 'scissors'. "Aiyaa...!"

"Yay! Ah FINALLY won one! What ya want meh ta take?"

"No take, Shampoo give Shi no Seppun!" Leaning in, she kissed her rival on the cheek.

"Hey, wait, that ain't th' rules!" Her eyes went wide as she watched Shampoo draw her swords with a look of death on her normally blissful features before turning to flee the house in nothing but her panties.

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Disclaimer: No animals (including humans) were harmed during the writing of this story, unless you count me going without sleep, consuming too much caffeine, or beating my head against a wall to get ideas, but that is only if you count me as 'human'.

What does Nodoka have planned for our hapless heroes? Tune in next time for, 'Pick a Pack a' Pudding', or 'My Bonnie Lies Over the Furo'!


	27. Chapter 27

Warning: Seedless watermelon may contain seeds.

Now on to the further eroventures of our heroes.

Chapter 27 - Guess Whose Cumming from Dinner

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Neither of them spoke as the pair hastily scrubbed themselves, not even bothering to get into the tub, satisfied with only the showers. Shampoo wanted to make sure she had applied her special soap, not willing to allow it to wear off at a bad time, and was frustrated to see her rival rush out of the room before her, but she refused to cut corners!

Considering that neither of them had worn clothing, she was surprised to see Ukyo still in the changing room, so much so that she failed to notice her kicking a thermos out of sight, though she did have to wonder why she was holding a brush that was quickly tossed aside... Nonetheless, she was a healthy young woman, with a good diet, and she had confidence in herself, no matter what anyone else did! "We hurry now, yes?"

Nodding silently, with a slightly guilty expression on her face, Ukyo jumped to her feet, and followed Shampoo into the hallway, determined to make her stand, even if it meant she would be on her back doing it!

Opening the door, they were startled to find that the lights were out! Cautiously stepping into the room, they called out to Ranma, and received no response. Before either of them knew it, their hands were bound and they found gags in their mouths!

"I'm am truly sorry about this, Shampoo-chan."

Shampoo had not exactly been trying to resist, though she still found it surprising how easily she had been manhandled, even if they had been caught off guard. Knowing it was Kasumi, she allowed herself to be led over to a strange table, with curtains on either side. Once her eyes had finished adjusting to the darkness, she climbed into the strange device, and allowed her friend to bind her hands and feet. She wanted to ask many questions, but could not speak, and the other woman was no longer within her line of sight.

"Now, now, we cannot have you making noise and giving away who is who, now can we? What kind of blind taste test would that be?" Nodoka guided Ukyo to lay on another table, slightly under gagged protest, especially when her feet were propped up into stirrups, much like when she went to see her gynecologist. Only her doctor did not have blinders set up, so that she could not see to either side of her! "There, now we are almost ready to begin."

The door opened once again, and the two young women briefly saw Hinako's adult silhouette in the doorway, before it vanished suddenly. "Why did you call- mrphgrumph...?"

"You said that you would help educate my son with this, did you not?"

"Uhuh..."

"Then do not worry, this is all for the sake of learning!"

There was no crash, so they assumed that her little fishbowl was not broken, but they were unable to tell anything further from the sounds, other than assuming that Hinako was undergoing similar treatment to themselves, which worried them both considerably. They had been under the assumption that this contest would be just between the two of them! They each wanted to lodge a complaint, and voice their disapproval, however the gags were preventing anything more than the most guttural sounds.

"Now, now, it will just not do for you to be making so much noise already, how will we judge the results? I know what will help! Kasumi my dear, would you hand me that small green box, please?"

"Of course, here you go."

She removed a blindfold for each of them, making sure each was securely in place. "Now, you come over here..."

"What? Are you certain, Mother?"

"Certainly! It would not be fair otherwise!"

"But, I..."

"No arguments, Mother knows best, my dear."

"Hai." Had it not been for her own training of late, she would not have found it near as easy to fulfill this request, between them sharing the bath and Nodoka's special lessons, she had managed to overcome much of her shyness, at least around Ranma and the other girls. After all, Ranma might as well be a member of her family after all, so there was no reason to be embarrassed in front of him, was there? That logic made sense to her anyway, as well as giving her the nerve to undress and climb into the complicated chair, even going as far as to put on her own blindfold and gag, being the obedient young woman that she was.

Seeing that everyone appeared to be ready, she tied Kasumi's hands, much like the rest of them, and went to the other room to get her blindfolded son. "Iz'at mom?"

"Yes, my boy, are you ready for the fun?"

"Not really..."

"What's the matter Son? It is not manly to keep a lady waiting."

"This don't feel right, like somethin' th' old pervert'd do..."

"Oh dear, I see, I see. Well now, there is a fine line sometimes, however there is nothing wrong with pleasing your girlfriends. In fact, not doing so, in not manly at all. This is something any true man among men can, and will do whenever call upon!"

"Did Pops?"

"...No, which is why we are doing this. You need to be better than your father, or that man's master, who are only out to gratify themselves."

Ranma's ego used that opening to assert itself, and his typical overconfidence came back to the surface, after a long night of drowning in a sea of uncertainty. "I already am! Pops can't beat me any more!"

"That is nice, however, I was referring to being a better person."

"Am that too, I ain't th' one whose always breakin' their word, at least I try ta live up ta th' code!"

"Calm down Son, it is okay, I believe you, however that is also only part of what I mean. Not to belittle your honor, I am very proud of what I have learned so far, although, it seems as though there is a bit of a gap in your education."

"Really? Whatever gave ya that idea? Look, it don't matter, th' only important thing is the art."

"That is your father talking."

"Erk!"

"Okay, let me put it this way. 'Being' with your girlfriends, is like a battle-."

"Tell me about it!"

"No, that's not it, I mean you need to treat it like a battle, a one on one battle. The two of you 'fighting' each other, except that you are trying to make them feel good, and the one who makes the others 'feel good' the strongest, and most often, wins."

"Well, it does SEEM like a battle..."

"The other thing to keep in mind, is that you are not fighting against your partner, but with them. You both have the same goals, you want to work together, and make each other ...'happy'. Do not be like your father, who avoids doing husbandly duties, much like avoiding work."

"Huuh...?"

Slapping her palm to her forehead, Nodoka shook her head. "We will cover more of that starting in your new 'classes' tomorrow."

"What?"

"You are already being tutored, and Ninomiya-sensei and I agreed, that you need a special extra make-up class."

"Aaaaawwww..."

"Trust your mother, not only is this very important for our family's future, but I guarantee you will enjoy it."

Not convinced, Ranma's disappointment was clearly written on his face. "Ain't like I get a say in th' matter, huh?"

"No Son, some things in life are beyond our control, we need to do them no matter what we may wish. On the other hand, sometimes we find that despite our 'better judgment', we enjoy ourselves anyway."

"With school? Ain't likely."

"That is not a very manly response."

"So ya say, but..."

"Trust me, your mother knows what is 'manly'. I may have been denied a satisfying life, with a manly spouse, but my son will NOT treat their girlfriends with such discourtesy! You will take this class, and you will enjoy it, am I clear?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Ranma jumped to his feet, and stood at attention, but was caught off guard as the soft hands that rested upon his shoulders.

"That's a good boy. Just think of it like more training."

Ranma liked the idea of more training, even if something about it did not feel right to him, so he stopped resisting. As uncomfortable as he had been made by everything he had gone through that night, he was only vaguely aware of being guided through the hallway, and back into the room in which he had spent the better part of the evening. He was still quite confused, even though he knew better than to try to argue.

"What is wrong, Ranma, why so reluctant?"

"But, what do I do?"

"Just get in there and start licking, pretend your tongue is a brush, and practice writing your Hiragana tables."

"...But, my handwriting is terrible!"

"Don't worry about it, this is one time when being 'messy' can work to your advantage, you men can be as 'sloppy' as you like. Just go slowly at first, gauge their reaction, and try to enjoy yourself, this is not a punishment, even if your father might disagree..."

"Huh? What'd ya say?"

"Nothing you need to worry about." She placed a pair of earmuffs over his ears, to muffle out more of the noise. "Oh, one last thing..." Nodoka pushed her blindfolded son forward and into the waiting legs of Hinako. "...have fun."

Not having the first clue what was happening, Ranma felt the warmth hit his face, just before it returned the favor, and he had to stop himself with his hands which landed on the backs of the young woman's raised thighs. Catching his balance, he allowed himself to be guided by the hands on the back of his head. Moments before his mouth was pressed into the soft folds, the light musky odor filled his nostrils, sending a strange sensation to the base of his core. The feeling was so extraordinary that it took him a few moments of heavy breathing before he remembered what Nodoka had told him to do. For an instant, he thought he should he using the English alphabet instead, but ignored his instincts, and followed his mother's more traditional instructions.

Suddenly his whole body shivered, as the chill of death raced down his spine...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Akane had been having trouble sleeping that night, she could not get shake the feeling that something was not right with the world. It was even worse than what had become 'typical' since half of their household had left, she had been tossing and turning ever since she had laid down, and was tired of staring at the dark room. Knowing that the old men had passed out from drinking, she did not even bother to resist slamming the door as she went down the hallway, looking for a way to calm herself. They were out of tea, and even she knew that in her current mood, she would likely burn down the house trying to make it anyway...

Walking down the hall, she looked out through the windows, and seeing the stars, she was drawn out into the yard. Being such a clear sky, the twinkling stars were clear, and she had the clearest view she could remember. She smiled for a moment, thinking about how beautiful it was, no matter how big our problems were, they were insignificant compared to the vastness of the universe. Perhaps that was why Ranma used to spend so much time on the roof...

"Ranma... Ranma. RANMA! Why did things always have to come back to RANMA?"

As she stomped around the back yard, she started kicking random items that had the misfortunes of coming into reach of her legs. Everything she saw, had Ranma's face on it, and looked ripe for a beating! "That stupid pig-tail! That cocky smile! That stupid face! Those stupid fathers! Making those stupid deals! Why did everything always have to be about ME?"

"I'm a good person, I never hurt anyone, why don't good things ever happen? Karma, yeah right!"

Oblivious to the path of destruction she was leaving in her wake, she found a large tree that was looking at her like Ranma, and she could almost hear him laughing at her, calling her names! Not wasting an instant, her kick snapped it at the base, launching it into the next prefecture. "RANMA NO HENTAI!"

Tumbling out of the tree just as it flew away, a young man in long white robes landed near her. "Akane Tendo? What are you doing out at this time ...and in that outfit?"

"Mousse? What are you doing in my yard?"

"This is the park... Are you all right?"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Hinako's guilt levels had broken out of a low earth orbit some time ago, causing her emotions to twist up into knots, trying to block her from feeling what was happening below her waist. It had been a VERY long time since she had felt anyone doing that, and considering that the boy at that time had not been much younger than Ranma, his clumsy attempts were quite similar. While her body did crave the almost familiar feelings, her mind was all too aware that she still thought of him as her student and even partly as his guardian! As strong and handsome as he was, she did not want to think about him in that way, it was not 'right'!

She had to mentally scream at herself to 'shut-up', when another part of her brain told her that it was because it was so 'wrong', that it would be SO incredible! It was the boy's own mother who had pushed her into this, it was not as if she had chosen to be there in the first place, so why should she not enjoy it? Was she not a woman too? They were trying to help her 'onii-chan' after all, should she not be giving it her all?

'NO!' Resisting with every fiber of her being, that is what she felt she should be doing! What was it they said to do in these moments, think about baseball or something? What did she know about the sport? Balls, bats, tight pants, getting to bases...? This was not helping in the slightest!

Seeing Hinako's reactions being far more subdued than she would like, Nodoka positioned Ranma's hands, so that he had a better grip on her hind quarters. Moving in behind him, she wrapped her arms around his, and continued to guide his hands while watching for reactions, occasionally lifting the earmuffs to whisper tips into his ear. "Do not just practice your kana, every woman is different, and as a man among men, you need to read the signs as you probe. Let yourself feel out for any changes, if you find a spot that makes them quiver, or seize up, then you know you are doing something right, and remember it. When in doubt, throw in an extra 'A's and 'O's, and even the occasional 'Fu' or 'Pu'. Spelling out their name is another way to get closer, there might be no more manly a way to learn your kanji, but do not worry about order or making mistakes, always pay more attention to your partner than your 'penmanship'. Do not try to point, use broad, flat strokes, your tongue is a brush, not a sword. If you find something they like, do not be afraid to stick with it, the only thing that matters is that you both enjoy yourselves. Remember, this is a battle, to make your partner squirm, and sometimes you will get much further with a softer touch, this is the most delicate part of a woman after all. Once you have mastered the basics, we can start teaching you some more advanced techniques."

Ukyo had no choice but to lay there as she continued to listen to Nodoka giving instructions along with the sounds that Ranma and Hinako were making... She was torn between her jealousy over Ranma doing such things to another woman, made worse by that fact that it was their knock-out bombshell of a teacher, and how much the sounds, anticipation, and her imagination were turning her on! It was a frustrating conundrum, she wanted to pound the other woman into the dirt, and demand Ranma stop what he was doing, and move on to her, but if her hands were free, they might have been doing something else instead...

It was difficult for Ranma to 'eat' something without chewing, he tried to liken it to eating a frozen treat, but that only made him more embarrassed, that was something only children and women ate after all, besides, it tasted SO much better in his cursed form! While it certainly did not taste like ice cream, there was a certain sweetness too it, along with a tanginess that he was unable to place, and considering the all too familiar aura, he was not surprised to find a hint of fishiness, considering what the woman constantly used as a ki battery.

The flavor was odd to him, though he could not say he disliked it, in fact, it was somewhat enticing, which just worried him all the more. Would that not be something a pervert would like? From what he knew, it certainly seemed like it, but his mother had assured him that it was perfectly normal, and he had little choice but to proceed. He did his best to follow his mother's instructions, but having her pressing herself against his back, guiding his hands, and whispering into his ear was only making things far more distracting! He did not know how to take it. Possibly due to his 'problems' with women, he was really starting to worry about her motives...

He continued to do as he was told, and watched for the signs his mother warned him to observe, doing his best to achieve bigger and bolder reactions. She kept telling him that he was doing well, and that what he was sensing were signs of pleasure, so he tried to remember what he was doing when he got those reactions. If the increase in frequency and intensity of her reactions was anything to go by, then it seemed as though he was improving, not that he fully understood what that entailed, but there was little he would not do to 'win'.

Hinako did not think that she would be able to hold out much longer, and when he started inserting his fingers, she could barely contain herself! It was not right, she knew she should not be enjoying this, but her pleasure was quickly growing out of her control. She had never planned for this to happen, though she was unable to say she fought the whole thing very hard either. Did she really want something like this to happen? Had she gotten so desperate that she would take the first man who brought her to the promise land ...over and over again, no matter who it was?

It was not as if she had anyone else in her life, well, she had gone on one more date with that doctor, but it was nothing serious, she was just more practice for Kasumi after all. No one decent had ever wanted to stay with her after learning of her problem, of course she had never been able to stay an adult for so long before either. Being Nerima, even carrying her fishbowl around was not considered TOO out of the ordinary, and if she just explained that it was part of her style of martial arts, the locals just accepted it as a given! That did give her some hope of finding her prince charming, all thanks to Ranma's help! 'OOOH-NIIIIIIII-CHAN!'

Between images of Ranma's nude body flashing through her mind, and fantasies of finally being able to get married, she was on the edge of going crazy. There had been so many minor explosions bursting in her loins she had lost count, and it had all been culminating into one large grand finale that threatened to literally blow up in Ranma's face! Finally, she was unable to hold back any longer, and years of frustration came pouring out of her, as her feet thrashed about, wishing the stirrups would allow her to wrap her legs around his neck and hold him tightly.

The sounds of Hinako's panting filled Ranma's ears as the earmuffs were removed, until his mother's voice took his focus away. "Very nicely done, it looks as if we will be able to make a man among men out of you after all!"

"Was there ever any doubt?"

"Far more than I would have liked, all things considered ...but you do not need to worry about that any longer, just keep working hard to keep improving."

Ranma did not like the implications of that, and wanted to defend himself. "Th' curse ain't my fault, that's-..."

"...not the problem. I learned that was not something that affects your manliness, in fact, it should make you more of a man among men, and yet, here we are. You have both a male and a female body, and yet you do not know the first thing about pleasing a woman... If you had not shown so much promise to these young women, we might not be having this conversation."

"Even if I wanted ta, how should I know?"

"Have you never explored yourself, not in the bath, in bed, or anything?"

"Huh? I just wash an' sleep, it ain't like I'm ever alone fer long, an' I don't wanna be hit fer bein' a pervert!"

'Oh my...' Kasumi had a bad feeling about what that might imply.

"I mean, it ain't like it hurts er nuthin', but walkin' back from who knows where gets old fast, an' I sure don't like havin' ta do that naked!"

"This is exactly why we had to step up your training, take a more 'hands on' approach."

"What do ya mean?"

"A true man among men, needs to be able to handle their women, and keep them happy."

"Hey! I don't know nuthin' about girls, an' from what I've heard, most guys my age ain't really much better!"

"Yet, unlike them, 'you' turn into one, how is it possible that you do not know 'anything' about women?"

"What's that gotta do with anything? I'm still a guy inside, it's still me."

"But...?" Nodoka hung her head, shaking it in disbelief. 'In this, your father has done a most atrocious job.'

"Girls are just a distraction."

'Shampoo try...'

"Your dedication to your art is admirable, but you should not neglect the rest of your life-..."

"What else is there in life?"

Nodoka was the only one in the room capable of facefaulting to Ranma's question, and she apparently felt the need to do so hard enough to shake the room adequately for all of them. It took her a moment to recover, and had to use the back of Ranma's chair as she climbed back to her feet with a sigh. She managed to refrain from shouting, 'MY GRANDCHILDREN', and took several deep breaths, while praying to the gods for patients to stay calm, and the strength to survive long enough to see the next generation grow! "This is why your new training begins tomorrow."

"Does that mean we're done fer th' night?" Ranma started to get his hopes up, hoping to wash his face.

"Not even close." Resting her left hand on his shoulder, she handed him a glass of water. "Drink this, it will cleanse your pallet. You want to make sure that you are not mixing the flavors. Would you like a rice cake too?"

Never one to turn down food, he nodded. "Sure!"

Ukyo and Shampoo were both praying that they would be chosen for the next round, squirming in anticipation, and already imagining what it would feel like, having Ranma between their legs.

"Now, are you ready to continue?"

"I don't know, ya said this was a battle, that seemed pretty one sided ta me..."

"Do not worry, we will get to that part, for now we are just training. You can just think about this as sparing with a training dummy before you try your hand with a real opponent. You would not jump into battle without first learning the moves, would you?"

'Shampoo be Ranma 'training dummy' all times.' She had tried to speak aloud, but the gag had prevented it, and all that came out was some muffled mumbling.

Seeing the confused and sill reluctant look on her son's face, Nodoka knew she was going to have to continue to advise him, and once he had finished his rice cake and water, she guided him toward his next 'snack'. She was happy to see that once he was in range, he did not need as much prompting as before, he truly was a fast learner. Within moments, she could see Ukyo writhing on the table, even without seeing her face, she could tell by her every motion that she was clearly begging for more.

"You seem to be attacking most of the sensitive points, and even using a bit of suction in the right places, now it is time we move on to a more advanced technique I call the Hummingbird. You can make various vocal sounds, such as humming and moaning, to increase your partner's pleasure. Not only will it make them feel good, but it can also show them that you are enjoying yourself, which will also make them more comfortable and relax. Do not whistle or blow inside, but experiment with various tones and pitches, and see what each person likes. When you change your pitch, your breath vibrates at different speeds, and you will find that you will need to adjust it depending on who and where you are. Low tones will feel much different than higher ones, perhaps you could even hum a song you both like."

Without even needing to sense her aura, the obvious taste of okonomiyaki sauce was a dead giveaway that this was Ukyo, though he had to admit, that he did not thing that even she could eat so much okonomiyaki that she would leak the sauce from her body, as her oldest friend, it might be his responsibility to say something about it to her later... It did make him wonder if her sweat was the same.

He was amazed at how quickly she had reacted to his touch unlike Hinako who, he was unaware, had been holding back, and he had to wonder if he really had improved to such a degree, which had the effect of boosting his already inflated ego. He was trying to incorporate his mother's new instructions, though he was not comfortable singing as a boy, he supposed that mumbling or humming would not be too bad, and she certainly seemed to enjoy it...

Hearing the muffled thrashing coming from next to her, Shampoo was unable to deny her jealousy, even with the consolation that she was likely next, if they stayed in order. Although, much like her rival, the sounds and her imagination had her squirming in anticipation, and wishing that her hands were free. Try as she might, she could not break out of the ropes, nor untie them, which she found odd, considering her training in escapology... Was she suffering from the effects of something that was weakening her, or was Kasumi really that good at tying ropes? She certainly did not wish to admit that she was getting weaker, so that only left the one likely option, something she might have to explore at a later date.

Having gotten used to the over-exaggerated reactions to his ministrations, having Ukyo barely twitching had him concerned that he was losing his touch, and tried to intensify his attention, unable to understand why he was being 'defeated'...

"Oh well, it looks as if that one passed out, it is time we switch to the next girl."

Worried that Ukyo had grown bored with his performance, his confidence was teetering, and threatening to jump over the edge. "I guess yer hummin'-burp wasn't so hot then..."

"HummingBIRD, and no Son, your friend passed out, because it was 'too' good. That happens sometimes when the body is unable to handle any more pleasure. I supposed that means you have mastered that trick as well, what shall we try next?" Seeing Ukyo frothing at the mouth, Nodoka considered her options.

"How should I know?"

"It was rhetorical. I have an idea, finish your water." After watching him empty his glass and finish another rice cracker, she refilled the glass with both water, and small cubes of ice. "Now, keep this glass near you, hold pieces of this ice in your mouth, and use it to cool your tongue occasionally, using the contrast between warm and cool to tease your partner. Do not hold the ice against their skin for long, it will cause it to go numb, and this is not something to be desired for very long. A bit of numbness can enhance the sensations, but you do not want to overdo it. Playing with hot and cold is a fun way tease your partner, if you do not overdo it, and do not forget to use your fingers."

Thanks to the ice, it was hard to taste anything at first, though he had noticed an exotic tangy-spiciness between cubes. Much like Ukyo, she had been very responsive to his touch, both of them having been eagerly anticipating it, which helped inspire his happy humming. He had started off slowly, utilizing all of the tricks he had learned so far, along with the occasional coolness against Shampoo's hot loins, and by his reckoning, she seemed to be enjoying it.

Leave it to her airen to be able to master these techniques in such a short duration of time! Once again, she thanked her ancestors and the gods for helping her to have chosen the best possible mate, for having guided him to their village at that moment, she even thanked his reprehensible father for consuming the union that produced her prize! Truly, hardships were gifts from the gods, and she was determined to reap the rewards from her dedication! ...no matter what it took.

Nodoka was pleased by Shampoo's reactions, and concluded that Ranma had mastered yet another technique. Ranma jumped slightly when his earmuff was pulled back and Shampoo's muffled moans hit his ears. "Another way to play with temperature, is to play with a sugar-free peppermint or a menthol cough drop, here you go."

"Sugar-free? Not even Pop-Rocks?"

"Correct, this is VERY important, trust your mother. You do not want to cause anyone any problems."

"Huh?"

"As you should have noticed, a woman's organs are not like a man's..."

"No kidding!"

Ignoring the expected outburst, she continued her explanation. "...And things like sugars can cause infections, if left in the small folds, which can be difficult to clean out. Just trust your mother, and do not do it, it is fine to do on a man, but don't do it on a woman."

"I would never do anything like this on a man!"

"That is fine, but you are one, and it is fine for these ladies to do that on you when you are one, but not the other way around. It is a delicate area, and you need to be careful when handling it. You really ought to explore yourself when you are a women, and learn what feels like what, in this you have an advantage that no normal man could ever hope to have. While it is true that every woman is different, there are some things you could learn that would be somewhat universal."

"I should do WHAT?"

Nodoka let out a sigh as she shook her head. "When you are alone, change into your cursed form, think about your girlfriends here, and touch yourself down there, among other places..."

"Ya gotta be kiddin' me?"

"Not at all, but that is for later, for now, someone is waiting for you." She indicated Shampoo, the quivering mass of gelatin, who was still recovering her breath.

Not sure what to think, and honestly doing his best NOT to think, he popped the peppermint into his mouth before returning to 'work'. Everything that had been happening since he had been talked into letting Hinako help him, had gone against everything he had grown to believe. Had it just been Shampoo or the others, he would have figured it was just another trick, but with not only Hinako, but also Kasumi and his mother encouraging him to do the sorts of things that people had always accused him of doing, right before trying to hit him, it was beyond his ability to comprehend. His father was right about one thing, no matter how hard he tried, he did not think he would ever understand women!

Shampoo had lost count of how many times she had reached the heavens, she had never felt anything like being teased with the ice ...that was until the strange tingling from the peppermint! It was a completely different 'cooling' sensation, she had heard of warriors wrapping their 'tools' in certain leaves when they were not using them, to have the oils seep into the polished wood, but she had never tried anything like it before this. She wanted to be certain to thank Ranma's mother with all of her heart, once she could speak again... Perhaps a gift?

Nodoka alternated between handing him ice, peppermint, and cough drops, analyzing his technique and her reactions. Impressed to see how quickly her son had been mastering the techniques, she considered what other method they could use, and then she remembered something...

Kasumi had managed to do as instructed, and held onto the tiny vibrating 'egg' shaped thing, although thanks to Nodoka asking her to strip, it had slid inside of her, and she could barely think straight any longer. What thoughts did float through her mind caused her to blush intensely, she had no idea why thoughts of being in the bath, or washing a strong back, a shapely leg, and various others parts of the body. It both confused and enticed her, even if she had no idea what was happening in the rest of the room, nor what was causing the others to make such strange noises. She was further confounded by the fact that she had no idea why Nodoka had insisted for her to be 'helping' in this way.

Noticing the snot bubble and her tongue hanging out, Nodoka realized that having taken all the pleasure she had been able, Shampoo was also out cold. "Okay Ranma, that is enough of that. Here you go."

Ranma accepted the rice crackers and water, a mix of embarrassment and competitiveness swirling within him as he rinsed the combination of peppermint, menthol, and Shampoo's juices out of his mouth, almost afraid of what crazy thing she was going to have him doing next.

"I am sure that your tongue is tired, so-..."

"Nah..."

Nodoka's eyes widened in surprise. "Really? It has been over an hour? You are not tired at all?"

"Not really, that odd?"

"I would say somewhat, for your first time anyway."

"Zat bad? I can do more!"

"No, not at all! It is VERY good, manly even!"

"Uuumm...?"

"There is nothing you need to worry about at all, just concentrate on your studies."

"Huh?" Considering how uncomfortable he was, he almost would have rather been in a normal classroom, at least it was less awkward and he could get a nap there! Trying to think about it as 'training' rather than 'school' made it more tolerable, but that did not make his position any easier, and he did not think he had ever been more embarrassed in his life! On the other hand, he was actually somewhat grateful for being blindfolded, not being able to see, allowed him to not think about what he was doing, and just do it.

After refilling his glass, she positioned him near the still trembling Kasumi, and smiled as she realized that the young woman was still enjoying her 'gift'. It saddened her somewhat to need to remove the device, but it would only be temporary.

Kasumi was called back to reality as she felt the joy slowly sliding out of her. A consuming disappointment filled the emptiness, and it was ...tingly. Having nothing else to keep her occupied, she could only focus on sounds and voices filling her ears. She heard a brief splashing, and little else for a moment, before Nodoka's calm voice began explaining to Ranma.

"For your next lesson, we will be showing you how to play with toys."

"What? 'Play with toys'? Like little kids?"

"Not exactly, now you will play with adult toys, like a 'man'!"

"What, like squirt guns?" Toys for adults? Who ever heard of such a thing, everyone knew that toys were for kids! Men did not play with toys!

Shaking off the mental picture of some stories she had heard, Nodoka tried to focus on the task at hand. "Not quite, these toys have a more practical use. They are aids, to make your lady-friends feel good in many ways. This one has two parts, connected by a wire. The main part is this small oval." She placed the large pill shaped capsule in his hand, letting him feel the size and shape.

"What's this suppose ta do?"

"This." Turning the dial to the lowest setting, it began to buzz. "This end has the controls, allowing you to adjust the intensity and speed of the vibrations, then you can use it to 'play' with various erogenous zones."

"Enormous? Ya mean big parts?"

"No Son, do not ever call a woman 'big', 'Erogenous'."

"Huh ...'ero-what'? Ain't that perverted stuff?"

"It is not perverted if it is consensual."

"That ain't what Akane'd say..."

Kasumi thought about that and had to agree, in fact, she might have disagreed herself not long ago, that is at least before marriage, however with how she felt after some of Nodoka's 'lessons', she was starting to think that perhaps she might have been a bit presumptuous in her assumptions. Did that mean that her family was responsible for Ranma's intimacy issues? Was she to blame? Did she already feel this way? That was partially why she was living in this house to begin with, was it not? 'Oh my...'

The guilty feelings setting in, started to cause the cloud upon which she rested to evaporate and sink. Was it really HER fault? She wanted to apologize to him for everything, and tell him that she would make things right, though like the others, she could not speak either. She was a captive audience, unable to do anything other than listen.

Nodoka was starting to think that she would not like this 'Akane' person very much, but was far too polite to say such things aloud. "Now, listen to your mother, your father failed you, so now it is my job to teach you these things."

"What, but everyone...?"

"...Else is not your mother, and you will do as I say. Am I clear?"

"Yes ma'am!"

Kasumi was taken aback by how easily Nodoka had gotten Ranma to stop his protest, she had always secretly wished to be able to have that kind of control over her family when they would get out of line... If she had possessed that skill, she could have prevented so many problems in their household! Her determination to learn anything the older woman was willing to teach her intensified, and she vowed to redouble her efforts to study!

"Now, get used to the feel of it buzzing between your fingers. How do they say that, ah yes, 'let it become an extension of your own fingers'."

Ranma wondered why it was a bit slippery, it made it a bit difficult to hold, but it was nothing he could not handle, even as Nodoka turned up the speed. "Kay, but what do I gotta DO with it?"

Nodoka turned the dial back to the lowest setting as she gently guided him over to kneel before Kasumi's altar. "Normally, you would never want to just jump into using something like this right away, it is always best to start off slowly and work up to the more ...intense techniques. You need to get your partner excited first, or you could hurt them. Luckily, you do not have to worry about that in this case, as we are already prepared for you. Lean in closely, start with the massaging as before, except this time with one hand, you use this to rub. You do not have to stick to one area, almost the entire body can be stimulating, if played with correctly."

Kasumi's introspection was interrupted by the return of the previous euphoria, though the feeling, while similar, was also quite different. Before she had merely held it in place, now it was moving around without her input, on top of that, the feeling of Ranma's strong hand rubbing her body both intensified the effect, and caused her to worry about her ability to get married in the future ...not that she had any prospects at that time, but anything was possible, was it not? She was not considered 'Christmas Cake' just yet!

She was not torn for long however, as the physical sensations quickly overpowered her lingering doubts, sending her back into the clouds, with the feeling of flying, freeing her from her worldly needs and desires. The cool breeze on her face contrasted greatly with the fire in her loins that propelled her soaring through the skies. Being who she was, Kasumi did not even bat an eyelash as she saw other people above her in the stratosphere, so she waved, smiling happily as she passed.

So caught up in her own feelings she was, that she did not notice one of them fly over to join her until they spoke to her. "Kasumi-chan! What are you doing up here?"

"MOMMY? Where are we?"

"Heaven, of course."

"Am I DEAD?"

"Oh my, no, there is no need to worry, my dear. Tourists like you drop in every now and again. So, tell me, what are they like?"

"What is WHO like?"

"The person who sent you here, well, I ASSUME it is a person, it was not 'food' was it?"

"Oh my..." Suddenly realizing to what her mother was referring, Kasumi's blushing skin took on a pinker shade over her previous glow. "I mean, it was only, I mean..."

The slightly transparent woman placed her hand upon her daughter's shoulder, trying to calm her. "Do not worry, Kasumi-chan, I am not judging you, I am glad to finally get to see you again, in fact, I saw your sister the other day. Just tell me, are you happy?"

She could not help the dreamy expression that filled her mother's eyes as she considered her current situation. "Oh my ...YES!"

"That is nice. Is it a boy?"

"Mmmmmmm, huuuuummmmmm."

Taking Kasumi's moans as a 'yes', the Tendo matriarch felt a longing to see the boy who could make her daughter so happy. "Well, you give that guy my gratitude for making my dear sweet Kasumi so happy. When you find someone who can make you feel like that, do not let them go..."

"Was father able..." Kasumi could not bring herself to follow that train of thought, even in her present state of mind.

"Oh my, yes... Why do you think there were three of you? With our income, I only planned to have one child, even as I am glad to have had all three of you."

"I thought it was because Father wanted a boy... Wait ...you mean ...I would have been ...an only-child? Then that means...?" Kasumi could not help but think that if that had been the case, would that have meant that her and Ranma would have already been married? Knowing her father, that seemed likely. She silently considered what such a world might have been like and surprisingly, she did not find herself objecting to that conclusion as much as she once might have thought.

"Are you mad at me for splitting my attention between all of you?"

"What? NO, OF COURSE NOT!" She suddenly felt guilty about even considering such an option, and recoiled as if she had just been considering killing them to take their husbands! "I do not want to think about life without my sisters in it! I-"

"Thank you, my dear, that means a lot to me, not that we can change anything now, so don't you fret. Now, it was lovely to see you, but do you think you should keep your lover waiting so long? I am surprised you could visit this long, I barely saw your sister..."

Kasumi was not certain as to what her mother had meant, and as she puzzled it out, she missed Nodoka's voice reminding Ranma that 'even if he is using a toy, that was no reason to neglect his tongue work.' However, she DID feel a sudden rush the moment those instructions had been followed, and she found herself teetering on the edge of a waterfall that dwarfed the one in Niagara. Unable to prevent her forward momentum, she tumbled end over end, plunging over the side as she tried to make herself heard over the roar of the rushing water. "Good-bye Mother ...and thank you for the underwear!"

"What?"

Kasumi had heard about people riding over a waterfall in something such as a barrel, but she was not so confined, not even her body was holding her back! She had never felt so free in her life, all of her problems seemingly left behind, as she rode the waves slamming back into her body with a start!

Ranma was completely astonished as the warm liquid sprayed in his mouth and all over his face, completely soaking him. His experience with his female form was as limited as he was physically able to keep it, but he only knew of one thing that came from there, yet this did not seem like what he had expected. "Gah! Wazzat? What ya do that for?"

"There is nothing to worry about, that is just something that occasionally happens to some women when you do your job well enough."

"What happened?"

"The same thing that happened with the other girls, just more beautifully!" Fairly certain that this was not the same moaning, Nodoka partially removed the gag from Kasumi's mouth. "What was that, My Dear?"

"...again. Please ...do it ...again." She kept mouthing words, but no sound was forthcoming.

Throwing him a towel, she refocused her attention back on her son. "You heard the lady, wipe off your face, it is time for us to get back to your lesson, you've just gotten started here."

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Missus Tendo stood on her cloud, looking toward where her daughter had been moments before, praying for her continued happiness.

"Hello again Mother, would you like some tea?"

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Kasumi had been thrashing about so much that she had finally managed to pull her legs free of the stirrups and the straps holding them down! Nodoka had given Ranma a few vibrators, and he had been using them to great effect, but nothing compared to the feeling of his firm but gentle tongue, she wanted to hold the boy tightly in place, never to release him.

The unexpected leg-glomp had surprised Ranma so much that he had not even noticed the glass of cold water getting knocked over, though he did sense the change even as those long legs squeezed him even more tightly. The first thing Ranma noticed as a female, was that the citrus taste was far more intense, and sweeter! He had always preferred eating sweets as a female, but even he had thought it was because he was too embarrassed to eat it as a boy, he had no idea that everything tasted even better that way as well! Almost forgetting about the toys, he redoubled his 'taste testing' efforts, sending Kasumi into further convulsions, and occasionally threatened to cut off his air supply as she continued her attempts at pulling him into her.

Seeing Ranma transform, Nodoka had been about to go get some hot water to change him back, until she saw how he suddenly became more enthusiastic. 'Perhaps this 'curse' was more of a blessing in disguise than I thought... How can we use this to our advantage?'

Kasumi's legs had eventually gone limp, and Ranma leaned back breathing heavily, wondering what else might be different... "Wait, I need ta see somethin', could ya help me back ta th' first one?"

Thrilled by his newfound eagerness, Nodoka guided him back over to Hinako, who was still drooling from her last round. "Here you go Son." Looking over at the bowl next to the table, she could not resist a little joke. "Go fish."

The electrical sensations called the leggy teacher back to the land of consciousness, though she could not be certain that she was not still dreaming. Something certainly felt different than before, it was much more intense, almost as if someone else had been down there! Someone ...softer, more skilled. Was Nodoka using her as a demonstration dummy? She was not certain how she felt about that, she was not really attracted to women, it was bad enough to be with her student, but at least Ranma was male! ...Most of the time anyway.

On the other hand, she was having a difficult time being upset about it, since she felt so good that it was nearly impossible to form complete thoughts. Nodoka was certainly a woman of many talents, but she was not certain that she liked the implications of that, and what it might mean for her. Could this mean that she had been having so many problems with men, not because of her 'problem', but because she was subconsciously trying to express herself in 'other' ways? Did she really like women better than men? If not, how could a woman make her feel THIS good?

Ranma savored how much more intensely the mix of flavors seemed to him as a female, while he tried to utilize what he had learned that evening, proud of the reactions he was receiving. While enjoying the stunning mix of savory and sweetness, Ranma's mind wandered...

His ego was easily bruised and most women had an easy time pressuring him into doing almost anything, but for once he seemed to have the advantage, and he could not help but mentally gloat! Oh how the tables have turned...

His chuckle sent shudders through the body of his erstwhile teacher, once again pushing her over the edge, and down into the abyss of pleasure. He did not stop there, with a toy in each hand, he attacked various pleasure points as he dove deeper with his tongue. The violent convulsions he received in response only propelled him on to greater heights.

Nodoka sat back, watching her son as he ravaged the beautiful woman before him, impressed by his fervor. Even if he currently had the body of a cute, young girl, she had never seen such 'manly' behavior! She was now positive that once his education was complete, her son would truly be, a man-among-men!

By the time Hinako could breathe steadily again, she was thoroughly convinced that since she had enjoyed Nodoka's handiwork so much more than Ranma's, that despite what she had always assumed, she had to be a lesbian! However at this point, she had enjoyed herself so much, that she had run completely dry, and it was starting to become painful. She could not take much more and was relieved when the licking stopped.

"You need to stop now Ranma, there is a limit to what someone can take."

"Huh? I can keep goin'..."

"That is good to know, but I do not mean you, Son. A lady can only take so much." Looking at Hinako's exhausted form, she figured it was a good time to get his first impression. "What I really want to know is 'what did you think of Lady Number One'?"

"Huh? Ya mean Hinako-sensei?" Ranma looks a bit confused, as if it were not the most obvious thing in the world.

"You were not supposed to peek..."

"I DIDN'T! It's just, I can tell by their aura," Ranma voice dropped to an almost inaudible level. "...and by their taste, an' suff."

"You have tested them BEFORE?" 'How manly!'

"No! But... it's kind a' obvious. I mean, it's kind a' what ya'd expect..."

Hinako had been drifting in and out of full awareness, but had she heard that correctly, was it truly RANMA who had been with her the whole time? Had he improved that much in such a short period of time? If so, it was an impressive feat! Though, more than that, it meant that it had really been a MAN who had been making her feel so good! Even unknowingly, he had once again come to her 'rescue'!

"Well, I guess we did not need the earmuffs after all..." Slightly disappointed, Nodoka freed Hinako from her bindings, figuring they were done for the day.

As soon as she had been able, she had wanted to thank her savior, and had leaped across the table, embracing the confused martial artist. "ONII-CHAN! Thank you!"

"Huh? Fer what?" He beat her, didn't he, should she be that happy to have lost the battle?

"For EVERYTHING! You really saved me again, Saotome-kun."

"What? I don't get it..." Still panicking a bit at the invasion of his personal space, Ranma managed to not try to escape.

Laying her hand on her son's shoulder, Nodoka smiled, and tried to reassure her son. "Nothing to worry about, no matter what your father might have to say on the subject, THAT is what being 'manly' is all about!"

"So, ya mean...?" Ranma did not dare to hope.

"Curse or no, I will never doubt your manliness again, but we DO still need to work on your ...education."

Ranma was no fan of school, but at least his lesson this time was a 'tasty' one! He was eager see how the flavor varied with each of them, and likely would be, if not for the teacher snuggling up to him. "Mom, could ya help-..."

"No, no, no, if you are going to sleep, you can go wait for Ranma and the others in bed, we have more work to do here!" Pulling Hinako toward her, she handed Ranma his glass of water and started to guide her charge out of the room. "Take your time and enjoy yourself, and I will be right back..."

Ranma took a moment's pause after cleansing his pallet, amazed at how often he was getting 'glomped' by non-Chinese women these days, and wondered if that was going to become another habit to which he would end up needing to become accustomed. Thanks to all of the attention from Shampoo, he had slowly been adjusting to it, though it still made him uncomfortable, and more to the point, he did not want to be forceful and hurt anyone.

Shrugging, he tried to put his worries out of his mind, removed the blindfold, and made his way over to Ukyo. Seeing her spread out before him tested his resolve, causing him to blush and hesitate. 'Come on, Ranma, you've been doing this all night, th' only difference now is ya can see what yer doin'.' Pacing in circles for a few moments, he tried to steel his willpower, before looking in all of the likely hiding spots for someone waiting to attack him. No one in the closet, or under the tables, nor even behind the curtain! Quickly running out of excuses, he inched forward, staring like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming vehicle.

Ukyo awoke feeling a rather strange, almost burning feeling, deep within her. As the memories of what she had been doing before she fell unconscious resurfaced, her intense blush threatened to scorch her whole body! Suddenly, Ranma's moist tongue began to gently part her petals, and search for the nectar within, causing her feelings to further ignite, making her sweat! It was a strange mix of pleasure and pain that both tantalized her, and made her want to cry out.

Nodoka returned to see the red braid dancing around as Ranma seemed to be eagerly devouring his childhood friend, and almost felt faint. Why did it take becoming a girl, for her son to act so 'manly'? She would likely never know, however realizing that he had removed his own blindfold while remembering that he could tell them apart anyway, she decided that it was no longer necessary. She was going to release the other contestants as well, but had gotten distracted by the erotic sight.

As the smoldering embers spread from her center to fill her entire being, the pain was quickly overtaking the pleasure. Ukyo thought for certain that her insides were sizzling like a fresh okonomiyaki, and at any moment, white-hot flames would erupt from her lips. The conflagration had her thrashing about, making it difficult for Nodoka to undo the ropes, clasps, and padded handcuffs, but once she had finished, the young chef made a break for it, desperately seeking cold water!

Nodoka stood there, her hair was disheveled, while her yukata had fallen enough to reveal one of her shoulders, and she was far too stunned to respond.

"Ucchan! Wait! Is it 'cause I'm a girl?"

"Do not concern yourself, I am sure that one will be back before too long."

"But-..."

"No Son, your friend can use the restroom without your help, others are waiting for you."

"But-..."

"If they cannot see how manly you are, even like this, then they are not worth your time. ...What? Why are you looking at me like that when there is another cute thing waiting for you? Did you not want to practice more?"

Without thinking, Ranma's eyes automatically focused on the fully nude Shampoo, who was laying spread eagle on the table before him. "Aaah...?"

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Ukyo had heard about sexual encounters being 'hot', and people saying that it was like being on fire, but she did not think they meant it quite this literally! Moving purely on instinct, she ran for the furo, reaching for the hand-held shower head, and started to wash herself out with the soothingly cool water. As the sweet and tangy brown sauce began to leak out along with the burning sensation mixed with the refreshing liquid, and she started to tingle again. While thinking back on the events of the evening, her hand moved on its own...

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Not wanting to repeat her mistakes, Nodoka decided not to release Shampoo before Ranma had finished his 'homework', even while she enjoyed watching the girl bounce and jiggle as she reacted to Ranma's rapidly improving technique. The boy's learning curve was phenomenal, she could not wait to fill him with all of her knowledge and experience! It just filled her with such hope for the future ...and grandchildren!

Shampoo had never felt so good in her life, she could not believe how well her night had been going, things were well beyond her wildest expectations, and that said quite a bit. The only thing that could have made it better in her mind, would have been if she had been free enough to have been returning the favor, but she still had her original plans to fall back upon, and she would have her way, one way, or another...

After so much time, her effort, dedication, and 'good karma' had finally been paying off! She had been having the most wonderful dream after their previous activity, and then had been delicately aroused from her nap by her loving husband, who was attending to her every need. It made clearing her head of its grogginess and focusing on her continuing strategies next to impossible. As had been the case for some time, the only thing that managed to hold her attention for long was Ranma, except for once he was the one holding her! Despite her years of training, her stamina was threatening to give out on her yet again, but she did not want to miss out on a moment of her wish cumming true.

She was trying everything that came to mind to stay conscious, even biting her own tongue, though that was not easily accomplished with the ball-gag in her mouth. She had all but given up on freeing herself when Nodoka felt she was done, and removed the blindfold. In spite of knowing it was Ranma, seeing him between her legs, even in his cursed form, filled her heart with joy, and by the time her restraints had been removed, she was glomped to his side like a vice, snuggling and cooing in his ear. "Shampoo taste too too good, yes?" She gushed with joy as she saw him shyly nodding. "Shampoo do Ranma next, make feel too too good..."

"Huh? What? Even like this?"

"Shampoo no care, Ranma is Ranma, make feel good any time, any way..."

The 'purring' tone in her voice made Ranma even more nervous than he already had been, and the kittenish look on her face did not help that any as she 'pawed' his breasts. "Gaaah..."

"While I DO think that would be a good idea, so that you can get a good understanding of how it feels on the other side, for now, you have one more lady waiting, and that is not what a 'man among men' does."

Shampoo pouted for a moment, but took solace in the fact that she had his mother's approval, and she could not deny Kasumi deserved to feel good as well! The older girl had done so much to help make her continuing progress possible that she felt it was only right to help her find a small part of the joy she knew with her airen. She had met few people in her life who were as honorable or kind, and none she could recall that were more worthy of understanding the greatest pleasure known to a woman. Not only would she not hold Ranma back this time, she would push him forward, and make sure her 'older sister' enjoyed Ranma to the utmost!

Ranma was surprised by Shampoo's sudden change in tactics as she pushed him toward Kasumi, and could only react on instincts developed in such a short time. He threw his hands up to break his fall, only to have them slide up Kasumi's legs, and over her hips, with his face landing directly between her thighs. "Murphferburfer..." The vibrations caused Kasumi's whole body to quiver as her eyes fluttered open in surprise.

Nodoka was amused watching the young lovers antics, and it made her nostalgic for her own high school days. Kasumi's look of surprise shifting into one of pure bliss did her heart proud, as did the teamwork of the young, foreign woman, who was constantly attacking both Kasumi AND Ranma's erogenous zones. She could not deny the girl had talent, perhaps she did not give her enough credit, the girl certainly knew how to work well with her son, they made an excellent 'team'.

Despite his embarrassment, Ranma had been reluctantly enjoying himself, savoring every drop of nectar, and it did not hurt that it made his friends feel good too. The problem was, that if he could enjoy such things, did that not make him the pervert that everyone always accused him of being? Well, his mother had told him that it was not perverted if the girls were willing, but he was not so sure, on the other hand, they certainly seemed to be enjoying themselves, that is other than Ukyo at the end there...

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Having rinsed herself out completely with soothingly cool water, Ukyo was feeling better, even if she was still swollen and itchy. She could not believe how that felt, it was both amazing, and excruciating! Could she have gotten one of those sexually transmitted diseases? It had to be all that slattern, Shampoo's fault, if anyone would do that to her, it would be that woman!

Her only option was going to be a horrifically awkward trip to a doctor, but how was she going to explain this to anyone? At least she knew one doctor who owed her a favor, hopefully he could also keep a secret! There was no way she could live it down if someone found out about this scandal...

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Kasumi felt as if she had found Nirvana as she floated in a dreamlike state, barely aware of anything beyond the fact that she owed being there to Ranma and Shampoo. She was suddenly reminded of a similar feeling event with her and Shampoo in the furo not all that long ago, one that had felt almost as nice. If it had been possible, making the connection between the two events would have made her blush brighten, but she was already far too flushed for it to show. She had not previously realized that what they had done before was anything related to such things, and if she had not felt so wonderful at that moment she might have been ashamed of her previous actions. Had anyone told her that she would not only have been doing these things before being married, never mind with more than one person and with others watching, she would have thought it was a bad joke. She was still not entirely certain how she had gotten to this point, and yet she could not find it in herself to regret it in the slightest, in fact, it was hard to admit but ...she rather liked it!

She had always considered herself to be a reasonably happy person throughout her life, however when compared to recent days, much of it seemed downright depressing... She had friends now, and time to be with them thanks to all of the help they gave her around the house! In many ways, she actually enjoyed her new 'family' more than her real one, even if it shamed her to even consider such a thing. No matter how thoughtless they might be, they were still her family, and she loved them, though that did not make them any easier to endure upon occasion. That was not to say that current company was not without their flaws, but they made her feel extremely appreciated and she was never ignored! They seemed to value her as a person, rather than as a fixture to be taken for granted until it no longer worked, like a light switch.

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NOTES

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Again, I should not need to say this, but I feel like I have to in this day and age. 'The views of the characters do not necessarily represent those of the author, or any sane person in some cases. Every one of these characters is broken in some way.' Also, Hinako's freak out was not because she has any problem with homosexuality, it was just that she was confused and shocked that she was able to enjoy something she never thought she could. Her own personal view of herself came into question, and she panicked. She is actually a bit bi, like many people, but just isn't aware of it, due to social pressures and whatnot.

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Okonomiyaki: Here are a few options I found while looking up the sauce recipe for the last few sections.

This recipe makes Osaka-style okonomiyaki. There are lots of topping options, you can adjust that to your tastes.

Makes 4-6 'sheets'

2 cup all purpose flour

1 1/4 cup dashi soup stock or water

4-6 eggs

1 - 1 1/4 lb cabbage

6 tbsps chopped green onion

2/3 cup tenkasu (tempura flakes)

12 - 18 strips of thinly sliced pork or beef

Ao-nori (green seaweed)

Okonomiyaki sauce (or tonkatsu sauce)

Mayonnaise

Directions:

Put dashi soup stock in a bowl.

Mix the flour in the soup stock.

Rest the batter for an hour in the refrigerator.

Chop cabbage finely.

Take about 1/2 cup of the batter (to make one sheet of okonimiyaki) in another bowl.

Mix chopped cabbage (about 1/4 lb), chopped green onion (about 1 tbsp), and tempura flakes (about 2 tbsps) in the batter.

Make a hole in the middle of the batter and add an egg in the hole.

Stir the batter.

Heat an electric pan and oil slightly.

Pour the batter over the pan and make a round.

Fry meat or your choice of toppings on the side.

Cook 5-7 minutes and place meat (toppings) on top of the okonomiyaki.

Flip the okonomiyaki and cook for 5-7 more minutes.

Flip the okonomiyaki again and spread okonomiyaki sauce and mayonnaise on top.

Cooking Notes:

Sprinkle aonori over the sauce. Sprinkle katsuobushi (bonito flakes) and beni-shoga (red ginger) over that if you would like.

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Okonomiyaki (alternate) Recipe

Ingredients for one pancake

Cooked bacon 2-3strips cut into small pieces

Cabbage 3/4 cup shredded

A few prawns ingredients

Baking powder 1 teaspoon

Cake flour 4 tablespoons

Salt 1/6 teaspoon

Chopped green onion 1/2 cup

Water 3 tablespoons

Egg 1

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Ingredients Okonomiyaki sauce and toppings

Okonomiyaki Sauce

Ketchup 3 tablespoons

Soy sauce 1 teaspoon

Worcestershire sauce 1 tablespoon

Mix the above together

Okonomiyaki Toppings

Mayonnaise 1 tablespoon

Aonori (dried green seaweed) and dried bonito shavings (to taste)

step 1

Mix together the flour, salt, and baking powder and sift. Gently mix in the water. Next, add all the remaining ingredients and mix them together thoroughly.

step 2

Heat the griddle (or frying pan) and lightly oil. Spoon the okonomiyaki mixture on the griddle and spread it into a round shape about 1.2 to 1.5 cm thick.

step 3

When air bubbles start to rise in the middle of the okonomiyaki, turn it over with a spatula and fry while pressing down on it slightly until done.

step 4

Spread the sauce over the okonomiyaki, top with mayonnaise if you like. Sprinkle on the aonori and dried bonito. The okonomiyaki is now ready to eat.

Notes

For an easier way to make okonomiyaki, use ready-made pancake mix in the place of the dry ingredients.

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If nothing else, no one can say Ranma is not good at ...eating, but who ever thought it would benefit anyone but himself?

Tune in next time for, 'I Dream of Ranma', or 'Here's Sauce in Your ...Eye?'


	28. Chapter 28

Sorry this took so long, between being a very long chapter, and some personal family issues, it took far longer than it should have, and the scene was long, so I did not want to break it up.

Warning: Some of these disclaimers are paraphrased from other people.

Chapter 28 - Who's Wants Dessert?

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"But ...it's just so selfish!" Akane bemoaned her current living situation to her ofttimes feathered companion.

"Correct me if I am wrong, but your sister is twenty years old, which is the age of majority in your country, is it not?"

"Well, yes..."

"Then how is it 'selfish' to become an adult, move out from under your parent, and live one's own life? Is that not normal in this country?"

"Not exactly, but what about the family, what about us, huh? What are we supposed to do without Kasumi-nee-chan?"

"Learn to cook, clean, and become independent individuals? It is not THAT difficult."

Jumping up in protest, she implored him with her eyes. "You don't think I haven't tried?"

Having learned the hard way, Mousse managed to refrain from shaking his head, and barely rolled his eyes. He was having a difficult time believing that someone could be so spoiled, as to not be able to do the simplest tasks without aid ...it reminded him of a council elder. "Well, I was going to give this to you later, but now seems to be an appropriate time."

"What's this, a present?"

"The last time we walked around the shopping district, I saw that you were reluctantly eying this..." Reaching into his sleeves, the young man pulled out a small box with a ribbon on it, and offered it to the addled Akane. "So, I went back and got it for you."

Her eye started to twitch, as she read the title. "Cooking for ...Duh-." Even with the word 'dummies' crossed out, and the word 'beginners' written in, it still bothered her to receive such a gift, in spite of the fact that she HAD been wanting the book, even if her pride would not allow her to admit it, and it had been far too embarrassing to buy herself! Suddenly a thought occurred to her. "So then, that means, that ...you'll 'help' me?"

Mousse was not completely blind, he had heard stories about the youngest Tendo's cooking, even though he assumed they were somewhat exaggerated considering the source, he realized that being her taste-tester was probably still not the healthiest course of action. Perhaps he could prevent the worst of it though. "Uh, 'sure' ...it is not as if I have anything better to do these days..."

"So, you still don't have a plan then, do you?" Her elated expression dropped as quickly as it formed.

"...No, other than Shampoo challenging you for my hand or you accidentally dying, I have nothing."

Akane did not like the sound of that... "So, you are not just trying to get me alone to do something then, are you?" The look she received made her stop cold.

"Even if I WERE so inclined, such actions are prohibited by the law, I would be hunted down and killed ...or worse, if they found out. Fear not, I wish you no harm, Akane Tendo, you are not to blame for any of this."

"That's right! ...But, I'm NOT afraid of you!"

"I did not think that you were, I only meant that you do not have to worry about me plotting anything against you, you are not like that rogue, Ranma."

"Why, don't you think I am good enough?"

"That is not it at all, I just do not hold you responsible for our predicament."

Akane let out a huff. "Well, fine then, just don't call me 'weak' again! Let's go!"

"Huh? I did no such thing! Hey! Where are you taking me?" Mousse could not believe how easily he was being led by his sleeve.

"Aren't you hungry? When was the last time you ate?" Her smile quickly returned as she turned back to face him.

"People are always feeding the ducks in the park..." The lanky young man's face drooped as he realized what he said.

"Is THAT all? Come with me, I'll make you something myself!"

"Urk... No, wait!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Having heard the commotion, Soun and Genma had snuck down to see if there was a burglar, and if they needed to get help, but having spied Akane working in the kitchen and being helped by Mousse, so they stopped to watch, wondering if they needed to flee before breakfast...

They were not exactly surprised by the fact that she had not made much of anything in the way of progress, but they were amazed when he had gotten so frustrated that he not only stopped her from continuing and simply took over for her, but managed to do so in a way that did not upset her! It had to be a miracle!

"I can't believe, Akane-chan brought home a boy! ...Why don't you adopt that one? It seems to be going well so far, and then we can unite the schools!"

"The Chinese boy?"

"Why not? They seem to be getting along well, and just look at that food!"

"There is that..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Completely ignoring the blissfully sleeping Kasumi, Ukyo's attention was captured by Shampoo lavishing her attentions on Ranma-onna. "What're ya doin'?"

"Is private lesson, no interrupt class!" Shampoo barely paused long enough to speak before going back to humming into Ranma's loins.

"But, Ranchan's a girl now...?" Ukyo took a step back, unable to believe what she was seeing. She may have been pushed into it a number of times, but for Shampoo to go at it so willingly was something she that stunned the young chef to her core.

"Shampoo prefer boy-type Ranma, but no let that stop help make husband too too happy." The beautiful foreign woman plied skills she had learned through a combination of training with her fellow warriors back home and many hours consuming Japanese pornographic materials.

"Yes dear, Ranma needs to learn what it feels like to be on the receiving end, it will make it easier to learn what feels good and what does not. Things will be much better in the long run, now either help out, or sit and watch. Perhaps you will learn something new, they are both quite talented." Nodoka did not even spare Ukyo a glance as she crossed her arms and continued to scrutinize the young woman's technique.

Ukyo did not want to let that stand, and worse, potentially give her rival another leg up, but even thinking about it, made her feel a bit squeamish. She was having a difficult time forcing herself forward, she not sure why this made her feel so uncomfortable, it was only her Ranchan after all. Every step forward only made the butterflies in her stomach do anything-goes rhythmic gymnastics. Why was she able to do this sort of thing in the heat of the moment? The more she thought about it, the harder it was.

Shampoo wearily watched her approach out of the corner of her eye, annoyed that she would try to come between her and her husband, now that she had finally gotten to show her airen the fruits of her training! "Why is cheating?"

Caught off guard by the accusation, Ukyo froze, almost thankful for the distraction... "Ah ain't cheatin'! What'd ya mean?"

"Is cheat by wear towel before game over? No can wear thing, until win back in game, is rule!"

"Huh?"

"Oh dear, we cannot have that then..." With a mischievous grin and a giggle on her lips, Nodoka's hand snaked out and snatched the towel that wrapped around the young chef's midsection. "One should always play by the rules."

"Eeek!" Ukyo's hands immediately went to cover herself. "What's th' big idea?"

"Oh, what is the matter, Darling? Your body is not something shameful, that you need to hide, we have all seen it anyway."

"That's rich comin' from th' only person wearin' clothes! This ain't easy, ya know!"

"Would that make you feel better, my dear?" Nodoka stood, removing the sash on her yukata as Ukyo's jaw dropped. "We are a family, we bathe together every day, this is not that different."

"Yes, yes it is!" Ukyo snapped to attention, momentarily forgetting that she was unclothed.

"You are correct, these are special circumstances, since you four could not take these lessons seriously, it is apparent as a parent, that you need extra guidance. If this is what it takes to help you feel comfortable then, even though I did not play your silly game, I am happy to oblige." Standing there proudly, Nodoka made no attempt to cover herself. "There, does this help set you more at ease?"

A cloud of gloom formed over her head as she stared at the older woman's stunning figure. "Um, 'Less', actually."

"Now Shampoo know why girl-type Ranma be too too pretty!" She might have been preoccupied with her task, but any good warrior knew when to strike a blow toward victory.

Blushing slightly at the complement, she tried to deflect it as best she could. "Oh no, I am sure YOUR mother was much more attractive."

That was enough to give the young woman pause, and only her hands continued to move as she thought about that for a moment. "Shampoo no remember mother too too well, father tell was beautiful, but was ...young. Hope was too too nice, young, and pretty, like Ranma mother!"

"Well, young lady, that was an obvious attempt to butter me up ...and it worked!"

"What? Hey! Ah think yer pretty too!" Nodoka's disapproving gaze was all she needed to know that her conspicuous fawning was too little, too late, and Ukyo mentally kicked herself for her clear failure of social graces. It was not her fault, she had spent so many years trying to be a boy, she had never developed finer points of female interactions! ...Not like that feminine Shampoo, who clearly had every advantage in social interaction, in a warrior village ...out in the middle of nowhere ...surrounded by barbarians? Well, they were clearly more 'womanly' than the boys in the locker rooms she had frequented!

Seeing that Shampoo had positioned herself so that she was straddling Ranma's face and was getting caressed by Ranma's tongue instantly made her jealous, however the throbbing in Ukyo's groin intensified the moment she pictured herself in the other girl's place, making her regret it immediately! Shampoo might have won this round, but she would get her revenge for these indignities, that woman would understand her suffering before she this night was done, on that she swore!

During the minor commotion, a giddy Nodoka giggled at their youthful enthusiasm as she chanted, "Pero! Pero! Bero!"

"What mean, 'pero'?" Shampoo paused, looking up from her work, eying her 'husband's mother curiously.

"It is an onomatopoeia, a sound effect, the sound of 'licking', lighter than 'bero'."

"Shampoo like! Pero, pero, beroberonameru..." The young woman continued her 'chanting' as she resumed servicing the attentive redhead.

Watching the young woman lap up her 'son's juices, Nodoka felt as if the girl was quickly becoming a cunning linguist, in more ways than one! Looking down at Ukyo, who just stood there staring at them with a disturbing expression, she had to wonder. "Were you not going to join them, my dear?"

"Er, well, Ah was, but uh, Am'm uh, jus' gonna ...wait mah turn, yeah, that's it... Jus' waitin' mah turn! They look pretty 'full up' anyway."

"Suit yourself, but it is getting late, and you kids need to be getting your beauty sleep soon..."

Noticing that Ranma was on the edge again, she wanted to change tactics, and rub her rival's nose in the fact that she was missing out due to her own reluctance. "Wait! First Shampoo know other trick want try with Airen! Is okay?" Feeling the 'cursed' boy nod, she quickly flipped herself around, wrapping her legs around him, and grinding their pelvises together.

The electroshocks that surged through Ranma's body, made him no longer care that his mother had just stripped in front of him and was giving him and his 'girlfriends' cunnilingus lessons! Everything was just so strange! It felt like a dream, one from which he would be awoken by way of a mallet to the head or a splash of cold water at any moment! He could barely think at all, simply reacting to each new sensation, no longer able to give as good as he received.

"Ranma's lips are free now, are you not going to get in there and help with a kiss ...or maybe more?" Nodoka motioned toward the pretzeled paramours.

"Kiss? Meh? Now? There? While ...that way?" Gasping like a fish out of water, she just stood there, unable to move.

Exasperated by her shyness, Nodoka let out a deep sigh. "It is not difficult. Do it just like this." Walking over, she gently caressed Ranma's cheek, before leaning in, and planting her lips upon his own.

Ukyo could not believe what she had just seen, to say she was shocked would be the understatement of the evening. "Like THAT? Like how?"

"Well, you might want to use a bit more tongue. You ARE dating, are you not?" Nodoka just grinned at the younger woman.

"YES! Yes we are! But..."

Ukyo's indecision was getting Nodoka a bit miffed, and she decided to give her another push, so that she could better enjoy the show. "Well, SOMEONE needs to do it, if YOU are not going to do it, then..." Using her free hand, she reached to stroke Ranma cheek again, enjoying the erotic expressions on the cute face before her.

"NO! Ah'll do it!"

"I do not wish to put you out my dear..."

"NO, Ah wanna do it!"

"I am happy that you are so eager, but that is a lesson for another day... For now, we are just practicing various forms of kissing."

Pointing at Shampoo, indicating her 'scissoring' position. "Ya call THAT 'kissin'?"

"I do indeed, one of the sweetest kisses two girlfriends can give each other. You do not know what you are missing if you have not tried it. Now, are you going to 'kiss' my son, or not?"

"AH AM! AH AM! ...Jus' gimmeh a minute..."

"No." Nodoka was glad that she was not dependent upon this girl for her son's education, she did not think they would ever make any progress if it had been left to her. "I am sure Kasumi-chan would be a good girl, and do as instructed. Should we wake-?"

"NO! ANYthin' but that!"

"Then, what is the problem, do you not have any confidence in your technique?"

"No, Ah mean, yeah, but..."

"Fine, come here..." Nodoka reached out, grasping Ukyo's arm with a grin upon her lips.

"WHADOYAMEAN?" Ukyo tried to resist, but found that she could not break free of the older woman's grip.

"I will teach you of course, what else? We need to hurry though, you are running out of time."

"Runnin' outa 'somethin'..." Ukyo was not entirely comfortable with her situation, and hesitated long enough for Nodoka pull her close with her free hand, her other staying put, between her legs. She had heard that many girls 'experiment' with each other, but she never had any other female friends, and that idea just did not really appeal to her anyway. It was not that she had a problem with Ranma's curse, in fact she thought it was cute, and she was honestly a bit jealous, not only did he have a better figure than her, but she had always wished she could change genders that easily for real, instead of just dressing as a boy. She had never considered the down-side of having a gender changing iinazuke, at first, she had thought there would be no contest between her and the other 'uncute' fiancee, and she could always change him to a boy when it mattered. It was not as if he liked to be a girl, so who could have anticipated such an event? Now, here she was, roped into kissing his mother! Her mind raced, trying to figure out how she continued to find herself in these situations when suddenly she found her lips pressed against Nodoka's, and being forced apart.

Strangely, she found it far less unpleasant than she had expected, she had never known that kissing could be done that way, or that it could feel this good! It reminded her somewhat of how it had been when Ranma had first started his 'training' on her, before it had started to sting and burn, she started to feel as if she could get used to doing this! Ranma's mother had real skill for this, though considering that her mate had been absent for about a decade, she had to wonder how that was the case, was the woman just naturally talented? Ukyo could not be certain.

Shampoo had lost count of how many times she had reached climax again some time ago, it almost seemed as if it had just been one long one for a while now, and she was starting to run out of steam, certain that would not be able to peak too many more times. Once again, she was reminded of how lucky she had gotten when finding Ranma, it takes real strength to be able to wear out four women, even when one of them prided herself on her stamina, such as Shampoo herself. Everyone in the village would be jealous of her, even her own great-grandmother had lamented how she would not have hesitated taking her place! In spite of his stamina in general, she had always had a bit of a nagging doubt, just based on many stories she had heard when she was younger, about other husbands in bed, and how unsatisfied they were by their partner's bedroom antics, but now she was afraid she might not be enough by herself! She could only assume that he would settle down as he got used to it, and would not last as long as a man! She was starting to understand why some of those women in the materials she studied used so many parts of their body to satisfy their men, perhaps they were in a similar situation to her... She had slowly come to the realization that she was going to need to get some more training if she was going to make this work! It was something that she never would have believed before she met Ranma, and even then she had to see it first hand before it truly hit home. She was not sure if that was an advantage or a disadvantage of having a husband who could change genders...

Ukyo had just started growing accustomed to the 'tongue wrestling' when Nodoka broke it off, spun her around, and pushed her toward Ranma. Her arms flailed around before she almost head butted him as their mouths pressed together! She was clumsy, but she tried to put all of the skills she had just learned to use, and it only took a moment before Ranma was instinctively responding in kind. She could not believe she was finally making out with Ranma, it was like a dream come true! Even with all of the dates they had been on as a group, they had always been too awkward and shy to even try, they barely even held hands, only Shampoo had the courage to try before, and even Ukyo could tell that those had always been entirely one-sided, but here he was responding in kind!

"Don't forget to use your hands, Son." Nodoka was impressed, they had improved so much that they could have been professionals!

Ukyo was feeling better as his hands massaged her breasts and back, but she started to get a bit nervous as he started to fondle her buttocks. However, it was not until he started to reach around to the front that she panicked, the LAST thing she wanted was MORE pain there, she had been having enough problems there already!

Ranma was blissfully unaware of the reality of his situation, lost in the pleasure of the moment as he was, and had been barely aware of someone kissing him, until his hand had been slapped away and she jumped away from him.

"EEEK! Don't touch me!"

"Huh? What'd ya do that for? Did I do something wrong? Yer th' one that put yer tongue in my mouth first!"

"No like Ranma kissing? Airen can kissing Shampoo anytime!" While she still felt as if she had gotten much further than her rival, she did like to admit that he had never kissed her, she was always the aggressor, and he usually turned away at the last moment, making her hit his cheek! She supposed that she should not be surprised with his limited exposure, that he would not be the best kisser, but she knew he was a quick study, so it would not matter for long...

Looking at the other teen with daggers for a moment, before she thought back on the experience. "Oh no! That part was WONDERFUL! Ranchan's a very good kisser, the best!"

"Oh? How many boys kiss?" Shampoo managed to get out the insult between her heavy panting.

"Urk!" Ukyo looked around nervously.

"Then what is wrong, Dear?" Nodoka eyed her cautiously as she continued to back away from her.

Ukyo's hands protectively shot between her legs, the mere thought of the slightest touch causing her to throb and ache. "No more ...please? Jus' not that, Ah can't take it!"

"Oooooo, SO MANLY!" Nodoka's fingers quickly went back to work on herself, as her own fantasies of Ranma impregnating one woman after another filled her vision.

"Nah, Ah mean- ...aw never mind, that's it, ya wore meh out. Way ta go, Ranchan..."

"Ya don't sound too convincin', Ucchan. Be honest, is it 'cause I'm a girl?"

She could see the hurt look in his eyes, and wanted to reassure him, in any way she could. "Naw, that ain't really it ...really!"

"Come on, ya can tell me. We're friends, ain't we?"

Seeing his hands return to Shampoo's pert bottom, her low mood dropped even further. "...'Friends'. Yeah, Ah guess that's what we are, ain't it? ...'Friends'."

"I thought so, we're all friends here, ain't we?"

Lifting her head, the young warrior managed to slur out a retort. "Shampoo is too too good friend of Airen ...is how say? 'Friend with benefit'."

Ranma was a bit taken aback by Ukyo's growling, but since it was directed at Shampoo and not him, he figured he was off the hook for now. He was still not sure what he had done differently this time, the only change he could see was that he was female, but he did NOT want to be doing what they had just been doing as a GUY, it was bad enough as a girl, but at least this way he did not think he would be called a 'pervert' as easily, from what his friends at school told him, girls did those kinds of things with each other all of the time... Considering how much better it tasted to him that way, he was finding it difficult to blame them, this must be why girls knew all of this stuff, while he was clueless! They teach each other what is what, guys never did anything like that in his experience, and a part of him was happy about that, even as he lamented his lack of knowledge.

"Well, I think that is as good a place to end our training for tonight, but as of tomorrow, you will be studying with me after our noon meal."

Ranma hung his head as he nodded and tried to stand.

"Shampoo want help! Is okay?" Trying to jump to her feet, she stumbled upon rubbery legs, happy that Ranma had caught her arm as she started to fall.

"Certainly, you can be my special assistant. Kasumi-chan will also be joining us, but I may need an extra pair of hands while Sensei is not here."

"Hey! No fair! Ah wanna he'p too!"

Nodoka's elated tone cooled as she turned her attention toward the young chef. "What about school, and your shop?"

"Then do it at night instead!" It was the perfect solution!

"I do not think that holding night classes for sexual education, would be the best option, that would feel too much like a brothel. Next you are going to ask me to install red light bulbs in the fixtures. Besides, you are still growing, you should not stay up this late on school nights very often. It would not be right of me to ask such a thing..."

"Ask meh! Ask meh! Ah wanna do it!" The jumping up and down was not helping her pain, but she could barely contain herself.

"That may be so, but your health comes first, and you seem somewhat ...worn out already. No, no, you can play after work, but this class will just be us four, except on the weekends when Sensei promised to help us."

"WHAT?" Ukyo could not believe what she had heard. 'That turncoat!'

"Well, this was Hinako-sensei's idea, and textbooks... However, you two are never home, and I am tired of waiting. This was lesson number one, and we begin in earnest on the morrow."

"But... but... but..." Ukyo briefly considered closing her shop and dropping out of school, but could not even take her own idea seriously. Considering how things had worked out the last time, she could not even ask Konatsu to watch the store during lunch, but perhaps, AFTER the rush she could hurry back? It was bad enough to have Kasumi and Shampoo there to taunt her Ranchan, but to have Hinako-sensei there as well, she would never stand a chance!

She did not like it, but she was not blind, she could see that she had the least feminine figure in the house, even Ranma and Konatsu had better figures than she did! Sometimes she wished she had known about all of her competition when she had accepted the engagement again. When she had thought it was just between her and Akane, she figured she had a reasonably good chance, especially in light of how poorly they got along, but then it was just one bombshell after another! First it was her sisters, she would never forget when Nabiki had held the engagement, and now she just knew Soun and Genma were pushing Kasumi onto him now, even if they would not admit it, why else would she be living there with them? Then there were so many others, each one more attractive than the last, that Kuno girl, Shampoo, their teacher, and she had heard there were a number of others in between there, possibly including more of Shampoo's fellow villagers!

Why was everyone always after her Ranchan? He was promised to her first! None of the others even met him until earlier that year, what did they care? How emotionally invested could they really be? IT WAS JUST NOT FAIR! Did these stories not usually end with the childhood friend getting the boy? What was wrong with people these days, was it so difficult to understand the basic tropes? Not only was she his childhood friend, but she had a tragic backstory too! Shy enough to be 'hard to get' and yet willing to dedicate her life to him, she was not even all that violent, most of the time, unlike some fiancees she could mention! How did things keep going so horribly wrong? Why did no one else see how perfectly suited they were for each other? Why was no one else sore like she was? Why did the universe hate her so much? Did she annoy the gods of romance stories, or simply bore them?

"No 'buts', I will take Kasumi-chan to get cleaned up and put to bed, while you three finish what you were doing, and do the same. It is late, we can worry about the rest of this in the morning."

"Do ya need help...?" Ranma looked up, both worried about his mother handling Kasumi, and hoping to get away before he had to do anything more.

"No Son, I can handle this just fine, you have your own mess to clean here."

Refusing to break eye contact, Ranma was a bit concerned, but did not want to be rude. "Do ya not want ta wear yer yukata?"

"Not until after I have a bath! We are all a bit of a mess, so I will leave the hot water for you when I am done." They were all more than surprised at how easily Nodoka bound the sleeping Kasumi, and hefted her into the air. "Sweet dreams you three."

None of them could imagine the position that the woman was in could have been even close to comfortable, and yet the look of pure bliss on her features spoke of an entirely different perspective. On the other hand, perhaps that was something unique to Tendo homemaker, they could not be certain.

After shaking her head to clear the odd images that flashed through her mind, Shampoo was the first to react, hoping to get them back on track. "Now we get back to finish other game!"

Hesitantly, Ranma managed to tear his eyes away from the odd sight of his mother holding the slightly taller young woman. "What? Okay, I guess, but I still don't get what it's gotta do with 'baseball'."

"Shampoo no know much about this 'baseball', but know want pass 'third base'..."

"Well, you see Son, it is because that song you sing while playing, was written to root for a baseball team in Shikoku, who had been on a losing streak, and it became an iconic song for that team. Let me see, how did the whole song go? Something like, 'If you play baseball, it should be played like this. Throw like this, it's a strike! If it's hit, catch like this! When you're the runner, hustle! Hustle! Out! Safe! Yo-yoi-no-yoi!' Yes, something to that effect. Now, back in the twenty-eighth year of the Showa era, several singers of the time adapted the song, and it quickly became known nationwide. From there it evolved, until back in Showa forty-three, or was it forty-four...? Either way, that was when it became the game you were playing tonight."

"You knew?" Ranma's eyes went wide as the realization hit him.

"Of course my dear, mothers do not miss much." Her knowing smile set the three youths on edge.

"But, I still don't get the connection, how did it go from a baseball song, to a game played by perverts?"

"It is not perverted, it is just good fun. It was simply that when they put this show on Nippon Television, the producer was a huge fan of baseball..."

"Is THAT all?"

"Pretty much..."

"How anti-climactic."

"Well, not everything needs to have a grand reason. Now, if you will excuse us, we have a bath to take! Do not take TOO long, it is a school night ...for ALL of you." And with that, she quickly ran into the hallway.

The three teens stared at the empty space and each other, trying to make sense of what they had seen, and as usual, Shampoo was the first to recover. "Pancake-Girl still one with most left, want go again?"

"Yeah, I want mah shirt!"

"Okay, so to win belt back, what make do?"

"Arrrrrg!" Ukyo stomped on the floor, shaking the house.

"What make think let wear, when we is naked?"

Ukyo would never have admitted it, but if not for the constant reminders, she might have forgotten she was nude anyway, and had been growing accustomed the feeling. "Oh, fine, whatever! What're ya gonna have meh make this time?"

Knowing what her rival anticipated, she did not want to give her what she expected, and she also hoped to give Ranma a better example, it would be her turn soon. "Aiyaaa! Shampoo know what make!" Sitting Ranma down, she spread his legs, and indicated the moist area where they connected. "Lick here, till make Ranma happy." Seeing her desperately looking around the room for something, she added, "...And no can use hot water."

The embittered young woman kicked Ranma's glass at her rival, splashing her rather well. "Then ya can't neither!"

"Is okay, Shampoo still have soap, so Ranma no have worry for Shampoo curse! Nyaaaaa." Pulling her bottom eyelid down with her middle finger, she stuck out her tongue.

"Don't I git any say in this?" Ukyo glanced around the room, looking for any kind of distraction, or something that might save her.

"No need say thing, just relax and enjoy, Shampoo make sure is too too good..." Sitting next to him, she began to fondle his breasts before giving him a full oral exam with her tongue.

"Hey! What ya think yer doin'?" Ukyo put her hand on Shampoo's shoulder, pulling her away from Ranma's groin.

She left her tongue out of her mouth as she turned to face her foe. "Helping one with no skills, make Husband have fun."

"Who says Ah ain't got no skills?"

"Shampoo say."

"Ah'll show ya, ya hussy!"

"No show Shampoo, show Ranma!"

"But, ain't this kind a' perverted?" Ranma tried to protest, he was really getting the idea that his friend did not like his cursed form any more than he did.

"...A bit." Ukyo blushed as she stared at her awaiting iinazuke.

"Then why are ya doin' it?"

"Is okay. Is time for Ranma 'supposed' to be little perverted, is point of game!"

Seeing Ranma look to her for conformation, Ukyo had a hard time formulating her reply, she was not happy about what she was about to do, but she did not want to discourage him from asking her to do more with him ...hopefully as a man next time! "Pretty much... it's why everyone plays these kinds a' games."

"There's more than ONE?" Ranma could not believe what he was hearing.

"Many more..." Shampoo started making a mental list of the games she knew about on the off chance that he wanted to play another one.

"WHAT? How many perverts are there out there?"

"Shampoo read almost seven billion peoples now...?"

"But that ain't what I asked!"

"Is true, Ranma ask, 'how many pervert'."

"Right, so why'd ya say-?"

"Is all. Is only few, how say, 'exception to rule', if call 'have fun' and 'make babies' 'perverted', then almost all peoples want do. No just peoples, all thing what live want do, is whole meaning of life, keep life alive. Gods want more babies, so make making babies feel too too good. Is want make gods mad by shun gift? Empires fall for make gods angry, ask Musk, or Phoenix peoples."

"Who?" Both of them stared at her, wondering what she was talking about.

"Fallen empires, is but shell of former glory, for think above gods, get crushed. One what say gods no want enjoy making babies, no know gods. Gods like when do, no want earn glory?"

"'Glory' ...but?"

"Gods give hardship, and gods give reward. Honor gods when overcome problem, and then enjoy gift! Bring glory when make partner reach heavens!"

Ranma was not sure how he felt about that, his 'gifts from the gods' had been a mixed blessing at the best of times, and downright troublesome on any other occasion. On the other hand, he certainly did not want to make them more upset with him either! "Why can't th' gods give their 'presents' ta someone else fer a change?" Ranma silently asked no one in particular.

"Problem help us learn how overcome, like Shampoo learn much more appreciation for Ranma, more need work be with."

"Then keep workin', 'cause ya ain't there yet!" Ukyo tried to get in the other girl's face, but was unprepared by what happened next.

"Shampoo never stop." With that declaration, lascivious, lavender-haired lass turned back toward her cursed lover and resumed her demonstration of dedication.

Watching as their lips locked, and how a surprised Ranma moaned in pleasure, Ukyo realized that she had just been standing there, while they were making out ...without her! She knew that she needed to stop wasting time, and follow through on her task... Now, if she could only make herself move.

"What problem? No want win back clothes? No want be with Airen? If want be naked rest of life, Shampoo no care..."

Ukyo's eyes widened further as Shampoo's hand slowly slid between Ranma's legs, as she remained frozen, unable to tear her eyes away. "No, ya can't do that, it ain't fair!"

"How 'no fair'? If no take turn, is own fault. Shampoo make promise, make sure Ranma like, and no let stupid Pancake make into liar!"

"Ya don't need meh fer that!"

"No is good for much, is true. No can even make Airen feel good when invited."

"Ah kin too!"

"Then show, seem to Shampoo like only can stand still. Is deer or womans?"

"Ah'm a womans ...er woman!"

"Then prove, eat out Husband!"

"That's rahght, it's jus' Ranchan... it's jus' Ranchan... it's jus' Ranchan..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

As Nodoka tucked the happily sleeping Kasumi into bed next to Hinako, she took the time to appreciate the look of pure bliss on the faces of the young women, almost envious of their experience. She could not have been more proud of her son, or what they accomplished. "That boy does good work, that is for sure. I suppose I will have to give Genma 'SOME' credit..."

There were a lot of things she had to consider, she would need to go over the materials Hinako had collected, and plan their curriculum. Then there were the relationships with these young women. They all seemed to care about each other, and they got along so well, even if she was not entirely satisfied with the one girl's reluctance. However, Nodoka was not about to write her off, she had gotten used to kissing quickly enough, and she was not about to dismiss any potential grandchildren!

In light of her plans for when she got back to her own room, she thought about retrieving the toy she had loaned Kasumi earlier that evening, but reconsidered her idea, seeing as how she had plenty of other 'toys' in her bags. In fact, she decided to make a small gift of it, and wrote Kasumi a short note. 'You go ahead and keep this, every woman needs to have at least one.'

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"See, no is bad, yes?"

While it certainly was not an awful experience by any stretch of the imagination, it was certainly not something she wanted to do on a regular basis! She had no idea how Ranma managed to go at it for so long, if she had been in his place, she did not think she would have made it. As much as she enjoyed it at first, considering her current discomfort and experiences, she was certain she would never ask him to do that to her in the future! "Whate'er. D' I git mah belt back now?"

"Is too too happy, Airen?" His slightly bewildered look told her everything she needed to know.

Taking her belt back, Ukyo lamented leaving her ribbons back in the changing room, but took solace in the fact that she would be getting her other clothing back soon, and this nightmare would be over! "Now what're ya gonna make meh do?"

"Now is even, so who go next? Want Jankenpon for?"

"How 'bout we jus' flip a coin?"

"Where have coin? If where think, Shampoo no want flip."

"In mah ROOM! I'll be back in a moment!" Without hesitation, she ran back to her room, ignoring Nodoka whistling her way back to her own room, and grabbed a handful of change before returning. She knew Shampoo worked fast, and she would not give her time to try anything!

She was surprised to find both Ranma and Shampoo waiting patiently for her return. "What, what were ya doin' while Ah was gone?"

"No do thing yet. Why, think Shampoo should do?"

"NO! Now, what're we doin' next?"

"We is tie, so see who get do next thing."

"Fine, mah coin, so Ah'm flippin' it!" She did not trust her rival to do anything, and did not want to give her any chance to cheat, she was not about to take any chances! As she threw the small coin in the air, she told Shampoo to, "Call it!"

"Shampoo take front side, yes?"

"Quit talkin' 'bout yer chest!" All three of them watched as the coin hit the floor, bounced several times, and rolled under the bookshelf against the far wall. "Kuso! Now what're we gonna do?"

Never one to turn down a chance to show off, Ranma stood up, ready to solve their dilemma. "No problem, I got it."

"What mean?"

"I'll pick up th' shelf, then ya can check it. Okay?" Seeing them nod, Ranma squatted down and lifted the shelves full of books, waiting for them to get the coin.

Neither Ukyo nor Shampoo could bring themselves to move, their eyes glued to Ranma's tight posterior, as he flexed to hold the heavy shelving aloft. They had no idea how much time had passed as they stared, even Ukyo could get over how muscular Ranma's tush was as a girl, it was quite ...tantalizing. Boy or girl, some things never change...

"So, who won?"

"We both did!"

"Huh? Did ya git th' coin?"

"Coin, what is coin?"

"Uh, yah, somethin' about a coin..."

"Oh fergit this!" Tired of waiting, Ranma just slid it across the floor, and out from under the cabinet, before setting it down. "What's wrong with th' two a' ya?"

"Full moon make Shampoo weak in knee."

"Soft in th' head's more like it."

"Then what Pancake-Girl excuse? Is want too too much be boy, so make hard in pants?"

"Ah ain't a boy! Ah don't wanna be a boy! Ah like boys!"

"That no matter, no is common, but boy what like boy happen even in village with almost no mens."

"Really? I didn't think ya'd let that happen..."

"Sometimes ask to ...donate, but want people be happy!"

"Then what about that marry any guy that beats ya rule?"

"Shampoo is TOO TOO happy! If no, then just make baby and kill to fulfill law. But Shampoo want Ranma more than rule, more than village, more than baby!"

"Owch! ''Till death do yer part' huh?"

"Only for bad mens, for good mens like Ranma, death no stop, Shampoo follow into next life too!"

"Gack! An eternal stalker!" Ukyo tried to make the other girl's dedication sound like a horror.

"Is fine one what is talking, did no say follow for ten year?" Shampoo crossed her arms in a huff.

"Yeah, but that's different!"

"How is?"

"It were revenge! Fer mah stolen dowry, mah pride, mah life as a woman! That bastard Genma-...!"

"So, is for being mad, for Ranma father, not for love Ranma, yes? Is too too true, no is like Shampoo!" The young warrior feigned shock and awe.

"Oh really? Ah heard ya were tryin' ta kill Ranchan when ya started chasin' 'em too!" Ukyo's condescending expression would have done Nabiki proud.

"Only when thought was girl, was law."

"An old law, Ah heard it don't even get enforced that often!"

"...Is true, harder do in modern time, so no use much, but pride hurt, want be champion of generation! No can be beat by girl as cute as Shampoo in front of whole village!"

"Wait, so ya were tryin' ta kill me, 'cause ya thought I was cute?" This was the first Ranma had heard of that!

"Shampoo say sorry! No is proud of moment, was jealous, but now know is best of both world, can have both cute partner, and too too handsome husband! If no chase, then no learn truth, so no can regret choice! No get wrong, glad Ranma no get hurt, no like father, but is no like really try hard to kill, no till try break heart. Just happy see world."

Ranma had his doubts, but did not want to say anything about it and make her mad.

"Yeah, kinda wish Ah could'a pounded on th' ol' panda more mahself!"

"Hey, it ain't like I'm gonna stop ya!" The trio shared a hearty laugh at the thought of a pulverized panda before Ranma remembered to look down at the coin, still under his foot. "Oh, hey, look at that..."

Seeing that it was face up, Ukyo cursed her luck. "Shimata!"

"Shampoo do what gods like, so gods like Shampoo."

"Ah'm th' one that worked as a shrine maiden!"

"Fortune favor one what is bold!" Her pose caused her body to giggle suggestively, and she hoped to elicit a response from her 'sweetheart'.

"So, that's what, yer hair bows?" Ukyo wanted to make certain her rival stayed as bare as she was for as long as possible!

"Or bell, Shampoo no care." She was in no hurry to cover back up, always happy to be showing off her body to Ranma, the only reason she was still wearing anything at all, was that she had read that the Hadaka Apron was a favorite in arousing Japanese men. She did know that it was not always what one would show, but also what one did NOT show that mattered on occasion. Pretending to be bored, Shampoo lightly bounced on her toes, while 'casually' trying to stay in Ranma's line of sight.

"Go on, Ranchan, give that floozy a hard one!"

"Aiyaaaaa! Yes please! Give Shampoo hard one, many many time!" Her excited bouncing increased, and not one eye could escape the gravitational pull, of the enticing flesh as it shook under the thin layer of cloth, and even more so where it was peeking out.

"Tramp!" Ukyo shouted out, more out of jealousy than actual anger.

"Okay, but what, ya said I can't ask fer no more food."

"What? Yer still HUNGRY? No, wait, that's not important! These're dares, they're supposed ta be a bit mean, that's part a' th' fun!" Ukyo kept pushing, hoping he would help get her revenge!

"Shampoo do ANYTHING if Ranma asking!"

"Even if Ranchan asked ya ta go back ta China, and never come back?"

"Shampoo go! ...And Ranma come too."

"NO! Then Ah'll go too!"

"Aiyaa? Who idea was? Is want go China? Is try confuse Shampoo?"

"Me too... I didn't know ya wanted ta see China, Ucchan."

"Ah don't!" Exasperated, Ukyo slapped her hand to her face.

"Is really want get man curse?" Shampoo looked honestly curious.

"Is that right, Ucchan?"

"No! Ah am one hundred percent woman!"

"But Jusenkyo will change that, trust me..." Ranma's matter-of-fact tone left no doubt as to how he felt about the ancient 'training grounds'.

"Ah don't wanna be a man!"

"Then why would you want to go to Jusenkyo?"

"Ah don't!" Ukyo could not understand how they had gotten to this discussion in the first place.

"Then why bring up?" Always one to twist the proverbial knife, Shampoo grinned at her rival's frustration.

"Ah didn't!" She was about ready to start tearing out her hair at this point, how could her Ranchan think she wanted to be male?

"No, I am pretty sure ya were th' first one ta bring up China, Ucchan."

"Is true."

"Why's evahbody always pickin' on MEH?"

"I ain't!"

"Is one what say first. Ranma, ignore bland Pancake-Girl, and tell Shampoo what really want do."

"Mah okonomiyaki ain't bland!"

"No say food was..."

"Damn ya!"

Ranma was uncomfortable with the feline way in which Shampoo was eying him while sliding forward, it was one of the things that always somewhat bothered him about the usually upbeat young woman. Why did she always have to remind him of those horrible animals? Why couldn't she act more like a-...? "That's it! Shampoo, act like a dog."

"BWAHAHAHAhahahaha! That's it, act like the bitch ya are! Ahahaha! Serves ya right!" Ukyo could barely breathe as her laughter burst forth uncontrollably, tears streaming down her face. "Ya were right, this was SO worth it! Nevah been so glad ta play a game in mah life!" Perhaps she owed the gods an apology.

She could not believe how easily Shampoo had gone with it, Ukyo had expected at least some protest, or a cringe, but she had almost immediately got down on all fours, hopping around in a circle, and yipping like an energetic happy puppy. It had all been funny until she switched to sniffing and licking Ranma's crotch, however it was not until she had walked over to her, sniffed, and lifted her leg that Ukyo began to panic. "Ya need ta put a collar on yer dog, Ranchan!"

Not sure how far she would be willing to take this role, Ranma decided to put a stop to this before it was too late. "Sorry Shampoo, here ya go."

"Is done so soon? Ranma no want keep play? Shampoo wear collar for Ranma, if want."

"That's okay..." He was not exactly certain why, but something about that image both scared and enticed the young martial artist.

"Is fun game, Ranma play with Shampoo? Want play dog or owner?"

"It's better than a cat, but no thanks..."

"Maybe want both play dog? Give Shampoo good mating!"

"Like Ah said, 'bitch in heat'!" Ukyo crossed her arms, turning away while looking over her shoulder.

"Is saying no is wanting sleep with Husband?"

Her haughtiness evaporated in an instant. "No, Ah mean, yeah, but, not like that!"

"Shampoo be with Ranma, any way want, any time want!"

"Slut!" Frustrated as she was, the young chef envied her rival's ability to throw shame to the wind, and give in to her baser lusts.

Ignoring the implied insults, Shampoo leaned closer, and planted another kiss on his lips.

"Ya jus' proved mah point!"

"Only prove is jealous of Shampoo, if that point."

"Ah AM NOT!" Ukyo's skin was a rather bright shade of red by this point.

"Then why no do what want?"

Contemplating murder, the young chef had reached a boiling point, the discomfort she was feeling, combined with the embarrassment of the situation, had her ready to snap! "Ah will, jus' ya wait... Now, ain't it MAH turn ta win somethin' back from Ranchan?"

"If that what want..."

"Ah do!"

"Is okay with Ranma?"

"I don't care, I just want a bath..."

Getting an idea of what she wanted to do next, Shampoo decided not to argue. "Is okay then."

"Good! Whatcha want meh ta do?"

"Well, first I want ya ta make an okonomiyaki, and-..."

"Ah thought we said ya can't ask fer more food?"

"Wait! Would ya hear me out, I ain't done!"

"Sorry..."

Ranma was a bit gun-shy after having his neither regions sniffed, so wanted to be a bit more careful with his request, yet wanted to be 'fair' about it. "So, as I was sayin', make an okonomiyaki fer YOU, an' then eat it-..."

"That's easy!"

"...Without usin' yer hands."

"What?"

Now it was Shampoo's turn to laugh uncontrollably while picturing her rival face down in a plate of food. "Shampoo approve! Maybe make sure is no as hot as last time, no want burn face off too!"

"Yeah, don't hurt yerself!"

"Don'tcha underestimate meh! ...Wait, Ah kin use mah hands ta MAKE it, rahght?"

"Huh? Yeah, of course!"

"Easy as pie!" Happy that her portable grill was still in the room and hot, she quickly whipped up one of her favorite specialties. Setting it on the table to cool, she thought about her options... She had heard of people doing this, perhaps she would have luck with it as well.

As for the others, they had initially been impressed when she had sat in front of her plate, placing a chopstick between her toes, one being held by each foot, and to her credit, she managed to cut herself nice little slice with them. It was not until she tried to pick it up with them that she began to have trouble, and trying to get it anywhere near her mouth was where things went horribly wrong.

It was hard enough for her to keep the food between the chopsticks, but she was just not flexible enough to get both of her feet to her mouth, and she did not think she would be able to operate them with one foot... On the other hand, dropping more sauce in her lap was not making things any easier!

"One thing can say, Pancake-Girl do love do thing hard way."

Hearing that lilting laughter only made her more frustrated and far less coordinated. As the light bamboo sticks snapped, and her slice fell onto her chest, sliding down passed her pelvis, Ukyo shouted a few choice words neither of the others recognized.

"Try show off, only make fool. Funny as is to watch, since no have camera for funny video show, Shampoo want move to next turn, hurry and eat..."

"Ah'm tryin'!"

"Ain't ya ever been in a pie eatin' contest?"

"No! Have ya, Ranchan?"

"Of course! Ya think Pops'd pass up a chance fer free food? With both a' us in th' contest, one a' us was sure ta win." Proudly sticking out his chest, his breasts jiggled for a moment, attracting everyone's attention.

Ukyo shook her head, trying to clear her vision of the sight. "Don't those things usually got a entrance fee?"

"So? Even when we couldn't trick 'em inta thinkin' we'd already paid er somthin', with us eatin', we always came out ahead, an' there was usually a prize too. Not ta mention, Pops and me can't really cook, so gettin' somethin' other 'en what we killed on th' road..."

"What saying? Ranma cooking is too too good!"

"It's not THAT good, ya guys're much better, but it's only 'cause I got good examples ta copy that I can do anythin', Pops was no help... I only knew how ta make a few things before I came here."

"Is true, Kasumi-onee-chan is best one watch, but Shampoo teach too." Gazing longingly into the cursed boy-turned-girl's eyes, she took one of his hands into hers before placing it over her heart. "Shampoo teach anything want."

"Got any new moves I don't know?"

Leaning in closer, Shampoo slowly ran her finger along Ranma's arm, and across his chest. "Too too many."

"Hey! Quit tryin' ta put th' moves on MAH Ranchan!"

"No OWN Ranma, and Shampoo is one what married!"

"Only by yer stupid laws!"

"Law is law."

"By ours, we've got this thing called 'consent'!"

"Is true? Did ask Ranma before get engaged? Did ask before say to marry violent Pervert-Girl? Did ask before any others Ranma stupid father say what marry? Shampoo is only one what is by own action!"

"Nobody ever asks me anything..." Ranma mumbled to himself, not really wanting to get between them.

"Ah did so!" Ukyo was hurt, she remembered it so fondly.

Not normally one to speak up when he was not directly involved in the argument, something in him prodded him on. Perhaps he was tired of being forced into doing things, maybe it was how many times she had shunned his girl-side that night, or simply the fact that he was uncomfortable with this entire situation, and he finally snapped, but he immediately regretted raising his voice. "We were six, I barely remembered that, an' didn't know what it meant, 'sides, I thought ya were a guy at th' time, remember?"

"Ah didn't know that!"

"No know that child no can make good choice? No is like grew up together, learn everything about other..."

"Ah tried! Ya know how hard Ah ran? Ah'm still tryin' ta catch up e'en now!"

"Shampoo know feeling..."

"Speakin' a' growin' up tagetha, don't that mean ya should be with Mousse then?"

"Stupid-Mousse never learn! Never care about any but self!"

"Sounds like th' two a' ya were made fer each other then!" The look of horror on her face was a thing of beauty to Ukyo's frazzled mind.

"Shampoo learn, and Shampoo only care for make Ranma happy!"

"Uhhh..." Ranma thought about protesting, but did not want to shift the attention back onto himself.

"Ah'm sure Mousse'd say th' same thing. What if what made Ranchan happy, was marryin' meh, er Akane-chan?"

"But no can make Ranma happy! Ranma great warrior! Need womans what help on path of warrior, no one what want keep home, only for make babies, keep house, and punching bag!"

"WHAT? Ah thought that's EXACTLY what yer people did ta men!"

"Ain't it?" Ranma had to admit, he kind of had a similar idea of their people, even if they would allow him to train and fight.

"Stupid-Mousse look like kept-man, what no is allowed train? In village, mens and womans 'share' chore!" All of her stomps, gesturing, and sudden turns, caused ripples and motions that could not help but draw the attention of every eye in the room, especially as she crossed her arms and turned away from Ukyo in a huff. "Many mens care for home, if want, all husband want make baby, most help raise, but in village, know talent when see, and no let go waste! If go back, get best training, along with best warriors! If no, Shampoo stay and help train best can... Do anything help make Ranma too too strong! Violent Pervert-Girl only want make Airen feel weak, so make self feel strong. What Pancake-Girl plan? Run restaurant, make husband wait tables and raise babies?"

"Urk!" Ranma eyed his friend, was that really what she had planned for their future if the two of them got married?

Originally she had only intended it as a scare tactic for Ranma, but the look on her rival's face told her that she had hit far closer to home than she anticipated. "Is TRUUUUUE!"

"Well, Ah don't know, Ah nevah really thought about it that much..."

"That LIE! Shampoo know, do too too much!" Stepping forward, she pointed an accusatory finger at the other woman.

"Who's ta say what's 'too much'...?" The glare she received brought her guilt back to the fore. "Okay, Ah admit it! Ah THOUGHT about it ..a LOT! But, it ain't like Ah don't wanna make ya happy, we kin work tagethah ta make both our dreams come true!"

"Shampoo dream, is Ranma dream!"

"Ain't ya got yer own?" Ranma was sad for her.

"Was be village champion, but Ranma took dream, even if was best in village, still lose ...tourny-mint. Is other reason Shampoo give Kiss of Death, 'stupid girl' steal Shampoo dream! But no was 'stupid girl', was handsome man, so Shampoo no as much lose ...'contest', as win husband as prize!"

"Now, I'm a prize? Is that all any a' ya see me as? A thing ta own?"

"No! Shampoo no mean that way, was just too too happy Ranma was boy! No count lose to boy by rule, and be beat by boy-type Ranma mean Shampoo earn husband! Ranma no is 'thing', is person, Shampoo favorite person! Only want be happy, but know other girl no can make happy!"

"What'd ya mean, Ah can't make Ranchan happy?"

"Say what mean, mean what say, Shampoo better, in every way."

"Are not!"

"Is too!"

"Ranchan likes mah cookin', Ah'm a woman, what more do ya need?"

"Have eye but no see mountain..." Shampoo shook her hips, and stuck out her chest and tongue, exuding a cocky sexiness that both enticed and taunted anyone who looked at her. Even Ukyo could not tear her eyes away, a fact that Shampoo noted with pride.

As usual, Ranma had tried not to look below eye level, but was unable to resist, and it made him feel strange. While he had been having these uncomfortable feelings quite often these days and it no longer panicked him as badly as it had, he still did not like the feeling, along with the general nervousness that it caused. It was like he was losing something essential to his identity of self as a martial artist, his self control, his entire system was screaming at him that something was wrong, and he needed to escape, but they had been doing that on and off for most of the evening, and thus far, nothing too bad had happened. Could his father have been right, was living with these women robbing him of his senses? What was it they were doing anyway? "Oh yeah, yer food, ya were supposed ta be eatin' that okonomiyaki!"

"Huh? Oh yeah, but ...how?"

"Jus' set it on th' table there, er I can hold it fer ya, an just start eatin'!"

"Ya mean Ah...?"

"Is getting messy!" Her distracting body jiggled as she giggled at the images flashing in her mind, of her rival's face and hair covered in food.

Ukyo looked down at the plate of okonomiyaki, missing one piece, and dripping with more of the sauce currently dripping down the front of her body from where she had repeatedly dropped said slice, her jaw hanging open.

"That's th' spirit! Here ya go..." Ranma held the plate up near her face, allowing her to move into it at her own pace, however he was not prepared for the amorous 'Amazon' to lightly run her finger up his spine, which caused him to instinctively pull away, and pressed Ukyo's face roughly into the sweet and savory dish.

"Gakufu! Rumfan?" Surprised by the sudden food in her face, Ukyo's protests were cut off as she had to swallow before she could turn her head just to breathe without choking! Glancing up, she saw Shampoo laughing at her from behind Ranma, and her aura flared to life, before she focused all of her attention on cleaning her plate!

The sight that beheld them when she had completed her task was everything Shampoo had hoped and more, cabbage and sauce all over her face and mixed into her hair ...she was not going to have an easy time washing that out!

"There! Ya happy now?"

Ranma retracted from Ukyo's harsh glare, instinctively going on the defensive. "This game wasn't MY idea, ya know?"

"Oh! Ah didn't mean ya, Ranchan!" Her expression quickly turned to apologetic as she regretted her outburst.

"But it was my dare..."

"Yeah, but... Oh nevah mind, did Ah earn yer approval? Kin Ah get mah panties back?"

"I don't care, they're right there." Ranma pointed to the neat pile they had made earlier.

She wanted to ask Ranma to put them back on her, but her embarrassment combined with the sauce that was still dripping and she decided she ought to wash herself off again first. Luckily, her hands were at least still clean, so she put them aside, where they would stay clean.

"Shampoo thought want cover self?"

"Ah do, but I don't wanna ruin them either, they ain't cheap!"

Ranma felt a little bad about his dare being the cause of her dilemma, and realized that playing this game the way they wanted him to, by being 'mean' was just not working out for him, and he started to think about what he might do for the last two articles he had left. "Sorry Ucchan..."

"It ain't yer fault, let's jus' finish this..."

"But it was... Fine, who's next?"

"Is Shampoo turn, yes? Get jingle bells."

"That's what ya 'want' first?"

"Is true, Shampoo mother give bells when very small, for training."

"Training? How's THAT fer trainin'?"

"Bell make noise, Shampoo mother use find Shampoo. Shampoo learn move without make noise, even when wear bell, was too too good for train."

"Ah, Pops jus' hit me, er took my food ...er both."

Ukyo was not sure if she should be relieved to have avoided such 'training' or if she should regret her lack of skills in that department... Come to think of it, there was also that cat-fist training that she might have had to do as well if she had gone with them... She had never really considered that she might have had an EASIER life because she had been left behind! She had only ever thought about the times she had missed out on with Ranma, assuming that would be worth any hardships... She knew one thing for certain, had she been there, she never would have allowed Ranma to go hungry!

"So, what fun thing, Ranma want make Shampoo do this time?" She looked at her lover with 'puppy-dog' eyes, blinking cutely as his expression changed.

"Wait, it can be FUN things?"

"Is all for fun, yes?"

Not wanting repeat the awkwardness of his previous dare, he hoped he came up with something better this time. "'Kay, then how 'bout ya pretend ta be someone else we all know."

Shampoo had not been sure what to expect, Ranma was always full of surprises at certain times, and was never good at taking hints, but that had never even crossed her mind as an option. At first she had considered trying to make Ukyo look bad while at the same time flirting with Ranma, but she had seen the looks he had given them when the harsher insults had been tossed, and wanted to avoid letting her 'impression' get out of hand, keeping her from saying something that would upset Ranma, so she chose someone else...

"Shampoo be right back!" With that, she quickly bounded into the hallway, closing the door behind her. "No peeking ...or do if want." Using one of her bows, she had quickly tied her hair into a ponytail, and draped it over her shoulder, before calming her self.

After a few moments pause, the door gently opened as Shampoo quietly slipped into the room and danced around as if she were twirling her imaginary skirt before falling into Ranma's arms, shyly looking up at him with half-lidded eyes. "Oh Ranma-KUN! Oh my, oh my, oh my! No is planning kiss Big-Sis, is Ranma?" Puckering her lips, she tried to slide closer to his face.

"So ya noticed it too! Ah knew Ah weren't crazy!"

"Huh, what do ya mean?" Ranma managed to quit staring at not-Kasumi long enough to try to look into his old friend's eyes, but she would not meet his gaze.

"Is nothing need worry Ranma-kun, just do kissing with Big-Sister Kasumi now. Chuuuu..."

"No! Don't do it, Ranchan!" The panicked look on her feathers and tone in her voice had done its job and gotten everyone's attention.

Shampoo was startled out of her 'character'. "Aiyaaa... what is problem?"

"It's just a joke, right?" Ranma's eyebrows rose as he ignored the arms around his neck from the woman in his lap.

Not wanting to put any ideas in his head, Ukyo quickly agreed. "Yeah, just a joke, ain't nuthin' ta see here... Movin' on! Mah turn!" If she were not still covered in food, she might have tried to slide up next to Ranma as well, pushing Shampoo to the side, but the idea disgusted even herself.

"Why stop Shampoo at best part?"

"'Cause I wanna git cleaned up! Let's hurry this along, it's gettin' late."

"Aiyaaaa... Shampoo happy, skip turn if want, go bed, Ranma and Shampoo finish play without!"

"Ya crazy? Ain't no way Ah'm leavin' ya alone! Now, what do Ah gotta do?"

Having tried something easy, and it still backfiring on him, Ranma was having trouble thinking of something 'safe'. "Heck, I don't know, say somethin' nice about Shampoo." The look of death he got in response, did not help his confidence.

"Ah'd rather lick yer feet... Aftah ya stepped in somethin' nasty!"

"Is it really so hard fer ya two ta get along?"

"Kinda, yeah..."

"No is easy..."

"Ya might not believe it, but ya got a lot in common, ya really do."

"Shampoo know."

"That's what makes it so hard."

"Both want same thing!"

"See, look'it that, yer even finishin' each other's sentences!"

"Hurmph!"

"On that at least, we agree, that ain't never happenin'!"

Ranma lowered his head in exhaustion. "Okay, fine, ya ain't gotta get along, just say something nice, or I'm burnin' this with th' trash."

Seeing him holding up her sarashi, she panicked. "Ya wouldn't!"

"No?" Ranma grinned evilly.

"No as if need wrap for small chest."

"Well, only a real woman can do it well..." Even if the long cloth was cheaper than some items, she did not want to have to replace it either, her income was still somewhat limited by her hours of operation while she was still in school, and because it was much easier to clean, she could put it on when she got it back!

"Fine. Ya got nice hair!"

"Think so? Use special herbal shampoo from village, want try?"

"No, that's okay..."

Handing the cloth to Ukyo, he smiled. "See, zat so hard?"

Ukyo grumbled as she rewrapped herself in the gentle fabric. Though, for the first time that night, she was glad that she was still wearing the sarashi from work, rather than one of the bras she had started to wear, trying to be more feminine for Ranma, at least she could cover more of herself with this, she almost felt as if she were wearing a kinky swimsuit.

"Is Shampoo turn now yes?"

Not wanting to be the only one who was still completely nude, Ranma had to ask. "What about me? Don't I get another turn?"

"Airen turn is ...coming, too too soon. Work into next round, is okay?"

"Yeah, I guess... So, what's next then?" HE looked away, somewhat disappointed.

"Ranma tell Shampoo do too too sexy thing, then give back more thing..."

"What one?"

The buxom beauty leaned in and whispered into his ear, not wanting to be overheard. "Shampoo no care, and Ranma no worry. Let in on secret, no plan put back on even when win."

"What're ya sayin'? Ya talkin' 'bout meh? What're ya plannin'?"

"Just say always let Ranma see, if want look at Shampoo body."

"Yer such a slut! ...er, Ah mean, ya kin look'it meh anytime too, Ranchan! ...er, that is, at least, sometimes, when it ain't too bright, er, in th' bath, an'..."

Taking Ranma's hand in hers, she placed it over her heart, holding it firmly in place against her breast. "Shampoo never turn down Ranma. Always be here when need, no matter what need."

"Hey! Ain't Ah always there fer ya?"

"Yeah, well, usually, but that ain't... I don't want ya ta drop yer life fer me. I mean we're friends, and friends help each other, but I don't wanna put ya out."

"Shampoo put out for Ranma ...is right word, yes?" She winked before blowing him a kiss.

"Yeah ...if yer a tramp!"

"What kind of wife no make nice nice with husband?"

Blushing furiously, Ukyo's demeanor changed completely and her index fingers pressed against each other. "Well, it ain't like Ah don't wanna, an' ya know, a' course when we're married, but Ah don't... Ah mean, that's different... It's jus' like ...ya know?"

"No, Shampoo no know. If want, why no do? Is only natural do what is fun. Yes?"

"Like an animal!"

"If no animal, what human? Is plant, is rock? Feel good what do, yes?"

"Ah don't know about that, exactly ...kinda. Ah'm sure it's yer fault anyway."

"What say?"

"Nothin'!"

"Then why no want have fun? Like be sad? Like feel pain? No WANT be happy? Is only want attention? Is what call martyr complex? Enjoy suffering? What problem with feel good?"

Ranma had to wonder, was that his own problem? Comforts, complements, or cheerfulness in general were all rare in his life... Was that why he always felt so strange when people were 'nice' to him, or was there some other, deeper meaning? He was no psychologist though, if he could figure out why people thought the way they do, he would be having far fewer problems in his life.

"A' course Ah wanna have fun, an' feel good, but we gotta have discipline, an' work hard, an'-..."

"Is say Shampoo no have discipline? Shampoo have discipline, but now is time for fun! Work when time what work, play when time what play, now is time for fun!"

"No, now is time for bed!"

"Bed is best place for to have fun!"

"That ain't what Ah meant! It's time ta sleep!"

"Then go sleep, Shampoo keep clothes for next time... Maybe do more business without, yes?"

"What? No!"

"Aiyaaa! No think customers want see body? Can always trade outfit, then maybe get more business with hadaka apron waitress."

"Ya mean, Konatsu?" She pictured the kunoichi in naught but an apron, turning to blow a kiss in her general direction. "Eeeeew!"

Ranma was fairly certain he did not want to see that either. "Um, if ya do that, warn me ahead a' time, I don't want ta be there that day..."

"Stay or go, Shampoo no care, was no invited to game anyway... Ranma stay and play with Shampoo, yes?" Rubbing against him, she ran her finger along his jaw and down his chest. "No want make Shampoo cry, right?"

"Ah told ya, Ah ain't leave ya two alone!"

"Is fine, no mind if watch..."

"What? No, Ah'm gonna stop ya!"

"If no want play by rule, then forfeit... Shampoo win special prize!"

"An' what's that?"

"Training with Ranma!"

"Wait! Who decided that? What 'training'? Don't I git a say?" This was the first he had heard about this!

"Mother say."

"What? Then what Ah gotta do ta win that?"

"Can't. Happen during school, but Shampoo keep clothes if quit."

"Then why'd ya e'en say that?"

"Because keep calling Shampoo bad name."

"Oh! Like ya don't call meh names?"

"Japanese pronoun rule ...complicated, call everyone nickname."

"Except Ranchan."

Getting a doe-eyed look upon her face, she stared dreamily into his eyes. "Have too too many name for Husband!"

"That ain't what Ah meant!"

"No? Ranma Shampoo favorite, so have most name. What else could mean?"

"They ain't mean, it's just calling something what it is!"

"So, admit, Ranma is Shampoo husband?"

"Only in yer head!"

"No is only head, is also by law!"

"What bylaws?"

"Rule what say, Pancake-Girl go bed, Shampoo make Ranma 'man-among-men'."

"Huh? What'd ya mean?"

"That ain't a rule!"

"Is now..."

Ukyo had long ago learned not to count on Ranma for support against the other girls, but things still felt lopsided to her. "Well, it ain't like Ah'm goin' anywhere! Give that bimbo a dare, Ranchan!"

"Um, well, okay I guess..." Once again, Ranma's 'unlimited creativity' when it came to anything outside of combat came to the fore... "Shampoo, say something nice about Ucchan!" He figured, at least Ukyo could not accuse him of not being 'fair'.

Still happy to have been recognized for all the work she put into her hair, she wanted to repay the kind complement and, according to her people, there was only one complement better to receive than on one's beauty. "Is best female fighter Shampoo find outside of village who no is elder ...or Airen, Shampoo respect that, almost worthy of join village!"

"Almost? Ah fight ya ta a standstill every time!"

"No is only ...um, what word, 'qualification'?"

"What? Where don't Ah measure up?"

"Aiyaaaa! Shampoo no know want join tribe... Want make list?"

"No! Ah don't! Ah didn't! Ah mean, Ah ...oh never mind, jus' git on with it!"

After accepting her shirt back from Ranma, as good as her word, she tossed it aside, completely unconcerned. "Shampoo get Ranma help put on later." She winked as she turned, poking her posterior toward him before she moved toward the pile of clothing.

Ranma could not help but to think back on how it felt to have helped her remove it in the first place, and a shiver ran up his spine, shaking him to his very core.

Examining Ukyo's shirt as she picked it up, she noted the way the layers folded into each other, she had assumed they were normally separate garments, at least that saved them some rounds. As badly as she played, she might have simply outlasted one of them if things had gone on much longer, they had barely managed as it was. "Well, Girl-what-wear-too-too-many-layer, what make do?" Pacing back and forth, she contemplated her options, and diced to follow Ranma's example, and 'be nice'... "Say sorry to Shampoo, what for call name and try for steal Shampoo husband!"

Ukyo fumed for a moment, and had difficulty speaking while biting her lower lip. "All rahght, Ah'm sorry that Ah called ya names..."

"...And?"

"Hey, that's all yer gettin'! ...'Sides, Ah ain't sorry fer that, Ah knew Ranchan first, yer stealing from meh! So, if'n ya want meh to apologize fer that, then ya bettah be doin' it first!" Not that she was sorry about the names either, but she had no so problem saying she was just to be polite.

Once again, Ranma felt as though he had been reduced to property, a prize to be claimed, and he wanted to just fade into the background.

"But Shampoo 'marry' first."

"Not accordin' ta nobody else!"

"No matter what other people think, only one what matter is Shampoo and Ranma."

"An' Ranchan ain't agreed ta nuthin'!"

"No yet, but moment Ranma agree, we is bound together for life! Is last step in ceremony, say word, and Shampoo be by side forever!"

"Urk!" Like most men in his family, there was almost nothing he feared more than the horrors of 'commitment'! "Er, well, 'ferever's a long time, ya know. Ya might not wanna spend that much time with me, I ain't that easy ta get along with..."

"Shampoo no mind, just no ignore and be too too happy!"

"How can ya know?" Thinking back on his life seemed like one long string of people getting mad at him, he had even managed to get Kasumi mad at him ...and he had not even thought that was possible, she was even nice to Happosai! Even the girls who claimed to love him seemed to get mad at him whether it was his fault or not, some days he could not be certain why anyone would want to be around him, not that he would ever admit it, even to himself.

"Well, ain't nobody perfect, Ranchan, but ya gotta take th' good with th' bad, we all gotta compromise ta find th' person a' our dreams."

"Really?" That sounded both perfectly logical, and completely wrong on some level as well, not that he knew anything about it personally.

"A' course!"

"Shampoo LOVE Ranma! What Shampoo know, Shampoo love. What Shampoo no know, Shampoo learn love too. Is way of village, no let small thing stand between husband and wife."

"Hey! Ranchan's thing ain't 'small'! ...At least not like some Ah seen."

"All know no is what Shampoo mean, but want know, how many see? Is looking too too much then?"

"Well, ya know, in the locker rooms, an' rest rooms, an' stuff, but it ain't like I was lookin'! I wasn't supposed ta be a girl at th' time! Ah didn't even think Ranchan liked meh!"

"And so, was how many?"

"...Lots... But, what about ya?"

"Well, no is shy in village, but no many mens around, so no many."

"An' ya say they were bigger then Ranchan?"

"Shampoo NO say that! Airen is horse mens, much better than Pig-Boy..."

"Ya saw Ryoga's too?"

"Stupid Pig-Boy jump out of pot all time, Shampoo be surprised if is anyone in Japan who NO see!"

Ranma could rarely resist laughing along with jokes made at Ryoga's expense, and this was no exception.

"Ah haven't..." That was not entirely true, she had peeked when he had changed back on a number of occasions, but she had only caught a glimpse ...and did not want to count it if it had not been full sized! It was too difficult to judge otherwise, she had seen a few people who had surprised her, though she could not claim to be an expert, even if she had 'made a case study', for a number of years ...out of the corner of her eye.

"What? Is jealous of that? No is thing worth mention, THAT is little thing what come between husband and wife, no like Ranma!"

"No, Ah ain't! Only someone like ya'd want a boyfriend whose nevah around!"

"What mean, 'like Shampoo'?"

"Someone who wants ta sleep around, that's who!"

"Er, someone like Akane, who hates boys..." Ranma thought he had a good point, but they completely ignored him.

"What say, is compare Shampoo to goddess Aphrodite? No know how take... Thank for complement, but know this, Shampoo never sleep with boy other than Ranma ...unless Airen want that? Hope no is true though."

"What? Ah didn't say nuthin' about a goddess! What do ya mean?"

"No know Greek gods? When Zeus want stop gods from fight over goddess beauty, make pick husband. All god make case what to marry most beautiful goddess, but Hephaestus, lame god of forge say, 'make best husband for goddess like Aphrodite, because work late', because both know, love goddess no can be faithful."

"So yer sayin' yer gonna cheat on Ranchan...?"

"No, Shampoo might have goddess' beauty, but keep say, Ranma only boy Shampoo want. No matter how many time ask, answer no change."

"So ya say..." Ukyo squinted at her loathed rival, as if she were starting down a used car salesman.

"Some say one what protest most, have most guilt, yes?"

"WHAT? What'd ya mean?" The young woman straightened up, shocked at the accusation.

"Seem if like other boy too too much, how many more plan take home?" Shampoo stood there looking thoughtful, as if she were in heavy contemplation.

"More? Nevah! How kin ya say that?"

"Is true! Live with two now when no is here, how many more take in?"

"What-da-ya-mean? Konatsu don't count!"

"Do so, and what about stupid boy what always hiding around shop? Is sign, is table, is chair... Who say no is also disguise as bed, or toilet, as body-pillow, or toy what use late at night?"

"Ah ain't seen Tsubasa in months! ...And 'eeeeew'!" That was a series of images that would not likely leave her mind for months!

"Then need work on sensing, Shampoo notice every time go pass..."

"WHAT? Ya gotta be kiddin' meh!"

"No is kid, is true."

Seeing Ukyo look to him for confirmation, he just shrugged. "I thought ya knew, that guy's always been around..."

"Kuso!" He did have a knack for turning up in the strangest places, at some of the worst times, but she had no idea that he was around her that often! She needed to talk to Konatsu about setting up some traps in places the regular customers would never go, particularly around her bedroom! It was too bad she could not trap the rest room, due to only having a public one, but she would be certain to check it thoroughly before opening, and every time she went to use it! Who knew what kinds of horrible things he might have done to her while she was sleeping, or not paying attention? Could he have even gone that far? She would have liked to have at least REMEMBERED her first time! Oh, the indignity of it all! Was THAT why she was burning down there? The more she thought about it, the worse the discomfort became, and she swore to kill the cosplayer the next time she saw him ...after she saw the doctor!

Enjoying her rival changing various shades of frustration, Shampoo decided to accept the apology as it was. "Is good enough. Here top." Turning her predatory gaze toward the cursed boy-turned-girl, he started to back away ...until he hit the wall. "First need change Husband back-..."

"HEY! How come ya git ta change Ranchan back, but Ah didn't?"

"No is Shampoo dare, is Ranma dare, that why!" She finished filling a teacup before handing it over.

"Okay, now yer talking'!" Taking the cup of hot water, he unceremoniously dumped it over his head, grabbed his shirt, and threw it on, in what seemed like one quick motion. "Thanks Shampoo! Next!"

"No, wait, was..." Seeing how grateful he looked to be back in his proper gender, she just could not bring herself to tell him that she had more planned, it could wait, she still had one more round...

Even if he was wearing his shirt, it was not long enough to cover what mattered to her, so she did not mind that much, at least Ranma was a boy again, and now, she was free to stare all she wanted! Well, as long as they were focused on their own tasks anyway... She did not exactly understand it, but she could not pull her eyes away, why could he not have been like that ALL night? That certainly would have made things more fun for her!

"Ucchan? ...Ucchan? Ya there?" Snapping his fingers in front of her face, she awoke from her 'hypnosis'.

"Huh? Wazzup?"

"Is neat trick. No know could do that."

"What can I say...?"

"Can see again?"

"Sure." As he reached in front of Ukyo's face to snap his fingers again, she slapped his hand out of the way.

"Ranchan!"

"Sorry, but ya weren't answerin', an' it's yer turn."

"Huh? What'd Ah miss?"

"What is looking at so hard?" Shampoo followed the other girl's line of sight with a grin.

"But, it's not...?" Ukyo's blush threatened to cover far more than her face.

"Guess that answer question ...and call Shampoo easy womans!"

"What, what happened?" Ranma looked back and forth between the, trying to figure out what he missed.

"Is time get pants-..."

"But ya jus' got changed back..."

"No is Ranma turn yet, is still too too busy looking remember?"

"Ah'm fine!"

"Have drool on chin..."

"What?" Quickly wiping her face on the towel she had been wearing when she had returned from the furo, she tried to regain her composure. "Fine! What'd ya got fer meh?"

Cracking a wicked smile, she slowly walked toward the flustered food-worker. "Want teach Shampoo how make special 'oki-nomi-yicky'."

"WHAT? NO! NEVAH! Ah'd rather die!"

"Is okay, then drink this instead, Shampoo make too too special tea!"

"Fine! ...Wait ...what's in it?"

"Make tea from what left of Ranma boxer, and those stinky panties is no wearing."

Jumping back, she dropped the cup. "ACK! Eeeew! Fine, Ah' teach ya, but not tanight, okay?"

"Is okay..." She had considered keeping Ukyo's pants as collateral, but figured Ranma would not think that was nice, and decided to be the bigger woman. "Here, turn is done now, can go get needed beauty sleep."

Ukyo accepted her pants, but as tired as she was, she was NOT about to leave them alone with one dare left each! She already had to get revenge for number of things already for this night, and if there was something else that needed to be added to her list, she would be there to see it! "Not on yer life!"

"Suit self..." She considered the idea of going first, in hopes that Ranma would be inspired with better ideas for what to ask of her, but she was worried about being stopped or him running away. What was the saying, 'save the best for last'? "Is Ranma turn, tell Shampoo do anything..."

Ranma was drawing a blank, he did not want to be too mean, and everything he had tried so far had failed on him ...epically!

Seeing the blank look on his face, Ukyo snuck up behind him, and whispered the first thing that came to mind into his ear.

"Huh? 'Let us write on yer body'? Why-?"

"Aiyaaa! Ranma want put hands all over Shampoo naked body? Is too too good! But please, no write on place can see, no face, arm, or leg, is okay?" Using her 'embarrassment' as an excuse, she figured she could keep Ranma's hands, attention, and hopefully desire on her torso, knowing few people could resist her 'charms'!

Seeing how easily she agreed to it, Ukyo wished she had tried that sooner! She had assumed Shampoo would have stopped her, and yet now she was about to be able to write anything she wanted to say about her, and there was nothing she could do to stop it! She was far too caught up in searching the room and did not notice the way they stared at her when she cackled to herself.

"What is doing there?"

"AHA! Markers!" Rustling through the desk, she grabbed every one she could find, hoping at least one of them was 'permanent'... "Here Ranchan, let's doodle! Doodlie, doodlie, doodle!"

Taking off her apron to keep it clean, she crossed her arms accentuating her bust. "What Ranma want Shampoo do?"

"Jus' stand there, an' keep yer eyes closed! This ain't got nuthin' ta do with ya, Canvas-san." Ukyo's grin threatened to split her face, and the look in her eye made Ranma a bit nervous.

Figuring she would feel it if they got close to her face with the pens, she thought it was best to still keep her eye cracked, and stood where she could see a mirror. "Was asking RANMA, but is okay ...IF Ranma say."

"I guess, but this ain't my idea..." He reluctantly picked up one of the markers.

"Is still Airen choice what do."

"Oh, be a man already, Ranchan! Ya gonna be afraid a' women's bodies fereveh?"

"Hey! I ain't afraid a' nuthin'!"

"Then prove, write love for Shampoo on too too sexy body."

"Well, ya ain't gotta go that far, yer supposed ta write mean stuff, an' draw stupid pictures."

"Why would I wanna do that?"

"Shampoo no care, if no want write, just use fingers and rub..."

"Hey! Whose dare is this anyway? Ya ain't supposed ta like it!"

"What, is say no like when Ranma touch, or ...lick?"

The color drained from her face as she thought about it, preventing her from blocking out the soreness she still felt in that area. "Uh, Ah didn't say that! ...It was fine, Ah didn't mind ...Ah guess." She could not bring herself to admit that it had made her uncomfortable ...in a number of ways.

"Is only 'fine', how no 'love'? What is made of, is iron chef?"

"Well, judgin' by taste, I'm gunna say 'okonomiyaki sauce'. But I guess that ain't really surprisin' huh Ucchan?"

"Huh? Yeah, I guess so..." She tried to fake a laugh at his attempted joke, but for some reason, even though it was something she caused, and probably ought to make her proud, she just did not see the humor in it, and for some reason, thinking about her okonomiyaki sauce made her discomfort even worse.

Shampoo found far more entertainment in Ukyo's reaction than Ranma's gag, but giggled mostly in an attempt to stoke his ego and hopefully catch his eye. "Is what happen when never vary diet!"

"Ah don't always eat th' same thing! Sometimes Ah use pork, er shrimp, er squid, er lots a' things!"

"Could be worse, Shampoo guess, but need more ...vary-tea! What Airen think?"

"I like 'bout everything ...ya know." Oblivious to the somewhat disappointed expressions on his companions, Ranma wondered what wonderful things he would be having for breakfast. Their meals had always been great, and each new cook had added to their cooking repertoire, but since his mother had joined them, even Kasumi's cooking had improved, something he did not think was even possible! Thinking about that, he had come to the conclusion that if not for his father and that training trip, he could have been eating food that good his entire life! He decided it might be a good idea to 'thank' Genma for that the next time he saw the man...

"Jus' start writin' damnit!"

"But, what?"

"Ah don't know, just draw er somethin' then!"

"Okay..." Completely forgetting where he was drawing, he sketched Ryoga's pig form, looking quite upset, and sticking his tongue out. Then he drew a stick figure of himself towering over him while laughing. "This is fun..." Next he drew another stick figure, this one holding a sword and crushed under a boulder, clearly unconscious. "Who next?"

Ukyo had carefully guided Ranma, so that he was behind Shampoo, leaving her to draw on her front. She was positive that he would be more comfortable drawing on her back anyway... It was ALL for his sake of course! Why would it be anything else? Why would she be jealous of being written upon? After realizing that she had just spent several moments coloring in a large section of Shampoo's left breast solid black, and was focusing on the protruding nipple, she knew she needed to get far more creative. First she drew several phallus symbols pointing toward her pelvis, and a few, like arrows, pointing toward her chest, then she drew the symbol for vagina on her other breast.

Not being able to resist, Ukyo had to peek at what Ranma had been writing, while she had to laugh at his cartoons, she was disappointed that none of them were being mean to Shampoo, in fact there were only two women. One had a ponytail, and was tied up in a ball with a ribbon, and the other short-haired one, was eating something unrecognizable with a disgusted expression. "Come on Ranchan, ya should write somethin' dirty!"

"Huh? What...?" Briefly glancing down, he quickly wrote 'butt' on her right buttocks, while chuckling to himself. "Butt!"

"How original, well, Ah guess it's a start."

"Ya want me ta do it again then?"

"At least..."

"Is okay Ranma, Shampoo no mind, it wash off... Want Airen have fun please. Do ANYTHING with Ranma, if is fun."

"Ya ought'a be careful what ya ask fer... What if Ranchan thinks beatin' ya up is 'fun'?" Ukyo did not like the idea of making Ranma out to be an abuser, but if it could give the other woman second thoughts, it would be worth it.

"Then Shampoo help Ranma train! Think pain scare Shampoo? No know at all, smash self into boulder for training."

"I'd never want ta hurt neither a' ya!" Ranma recoiled, horrified at the thought.

"Is okay, Shampoo know how take hit, no is easy hurt. Can handle spar even with great Ranma Saotome, yes?"

"Maybe, I guess..."

"Spar with Great-Grandmother too, no forget."

"Yeah, but it ain't like th' ol' ghoul'd go all out against ya."

"...So say, but have broken bones what prove is no so."

"Dang, even Pops didn't 'usually' go THAT far! A broken bone meant a couple a' weeks without full trainin', an' that was out a' th' question."

"...'Couple weeks'?" Ukyo could not believe even Ranma could heal THAT quickly!

"Hey, bones take time ta heal ...an' I was still young."

Her cheeks reddened before sheepishly mentioning another detail. "Well, some was Shampoo fault... try too too hard, like do Breaking Point training before Great-Grandmother say is ready."

Ukyo and Ranma both chuckled picturing a child Shampoo trying to tie herself up for the training. "That does sound like somethin' ya'd do..."

"What about Airen? What do if find book with training inside?"

"Well, I'd try ta learn it, of course!" Ranma stood there proudly, completely forgetting about the pen in his hand.

"See, is same! Find book in Great-Grandmother's room when clean. It say make Shampoo too too strong and no could resist!"

"Ya had ta clean yer Granny's room?" He sympathized with her younger self.

"Room was locked ...but that no stop Shampoo!" She stuck her tongue out, looking proud yet cute, if you could ignore all of the ink from the neck down.

"Ya lousy thief!"

"What? Say never sneak something from guardian? Like recipe?"

"Urk!" The 'secret sauce' fiasco was still all too fresh in her mind to rebuke the accusations.

"Think Shampoo no hear whole story by end? Use excuse as reason move in! Children is curious, no can help get into thing."

"Yeah, well, ain't like Ah was gonna keep it..."

"Shampoo no even take book."

"Ah didn't pick no lock!"

"Shampoo thought was 'ninja'..."

"We ain't that kind a' ninja!"

"What kind is?"

"That ain't important!"

"Then what is?"

"That we're done..."

Shampoo opened her eyes fully, looking into the mirror. She had fairly good idea what awaited her, but had been too difficult to read while squinting, and she had not seen her back at all. It was difficult enough for her to read the 'crude' Japanese writing normally, but trying to do so in the mirror made things that much harder, so the first thing she noticed was a picture of a pink and purple pig clearly using the onomatopoeia 'oink'.

It took her a few moments to start making out the more complicated characters from their reflections, and she could not say she was overly surprised by what was written, on the other hand the art was far better than she had expected from the 'spiteful' chef. "Shampoo want change complement from before time. Is too too good making picture!"

"But not good enough ta be in yer village, huh?"

"Still no want share Husband with, but if REALLY want join village, can put in good word, ask Great-Grandmother... If no marry, no is easy. Want Shampoo ask? Or maybe want easy way, can just marry Stupid-Mousse, no see for while, but is sure still in Japan. ...Shampoo too too happy put in good word there!"

"Not on yer life! Ah'd nevah wanna marry that blind idiot!"

"Shampoo know feeling." Considering the list of things written on her body, the young woman considered asking her grandmother to insist that marriage was the only way she could join them, and in that, her options would be very limited. Not wanting to upset Ranma by getting angry, after she had agreed to this, she kept her temper in check as she silently read off the list. Starting with 'my food's lousy', 'stinky', 'boy crazy', loser', 'weak nerds in rear', 'pervert', 'free', 'use me', 'skunk butt', 'stupid', 'can't cook', 'I love spunk', 'dumpster', 'call Shampoo for a good time', and right in the center, using her bellybutton for its mouth, was a very realistic kitten, hissing. All things considered, it was that last one that bothered her the most, as it could interfere with her 'Ranma time'. She might have to put her apron back on after all... "Thought say was sorry for calling Shampoo names?"

"Ah said Ah was sorry fer callin' ya names, not writin' 'em! 'Sides, Ah nevah said Ah'd stop either! Said Ah was sorry fer th' names Ah called ya, not the names Ah would call ya in th' future! Muahahahahaha!"

"Well, no take back what said, Shampoo still think make too too good drawing." She beamed a happy smile that was warm and inviting.

"Ah...?" Ukyo was beside herself, unsure of how to react. "Thank ya?"

"Is welcome." Internally, she was rubbing her hands together and laughing to herself. 'Take THAT, stupid Pancake-Girl, Shampoo kill with kindness!' "Now is time for last round, maybe should go bath, yes?"

"Un-uh! Gotta stay 'til yer done!"

"Says one what go take bath in middle..."

"Oh, jus' hurry, an' get it over with!" Far beyond frustrated, Ukyo stood in the doorway, waiting on her to make her move.

"Shampoo say, no need stay. Pancake-Girl part is done, go bed so Shampoo and Ranma can have too too much fun."

"An Ah told ya, Ah ain't leavin' ya alone! I know what ya'd do if Ah left ya alone!"

"Is true? Then what think Shampoo do if stay?"

"Urk! That's exactly why Ah'm stayin'!"

"Is okay, Shampoo no care. Ranma, if please, sit over there, and close eye while Shampoo cover mess." As she redonned her apron, and realized that some of the ink was rubbing off onto it, she was glad not to need it for work any longer. For now, she had a different 'job' in mind as she slowly walked over to where he was seated. "Airen just try relax, let Shampoo 'return favor' from before time."

"Ya ain't gotta do that! 'Sides I ain't a girl no more..." The nervous tone in his voice told them they needed to broke this carefully.

"That was point of turn back, Shampoo want show how can feel good as boy too."

"But ...that ain't the same thing!" Ranma worry was nearing panic as her expression because more lascivious with each step.

"No, no is, but 'different' no always mean 'bad'."

Realizing what she meant, Ukyo did not like the direction this was taking. "Now, wait, ya can't! ...Ah wanna-..."

"No can, no is turn!" Shampoo's fingers flexed as she neared her prey.

"But, Ah didn't GET a turn!"

"How is Shampoo fault no is good at game?" She turned on her foe, momentarily forgetting the boy who was now behind her.

"Ya picked th' game, didn't ya?" Wanting to get into the other girl's face, she had to resist the urge to leave her spot blocking the only exit.

"And someone invite self to play..." She shook her head. "What game WANT play?"

Lost in another of her fantasies, Ukyo spouted off the first thing that came to mind. "How 'bout Strip Twister ...ya kin work th' spinner fer us."

"Only if work for Shampoo too." She had heard about that game in some of the materials Cologne had gotten for her, and saw great potential with it, but not if she was not playing as well!

"Well, Ah guess Ah could find someone else ta do it..." Maybe Konatsu would be her 'spinner', and that way she could get him more or less alone.

"Aiyaaaa! Is too too good idea, we ask Ranma mother, then both can play!"

"That's no fair!"

"How 'no fair'? Both play, is meaning of fair, yes?"

"Because if ya play, then ya win even if ya lose!"

Looking over at Ranma uncomfortably sitting on the mat, and remembering how they met, she smiled. "Is true, even when Shampoo lose, Shampoo win! Is blessed by gods. Perfect body, perfect husband, only way better, is make stupid obstacle go away."

"Hey! Ain't nobody perfect!"

"No think Ranma perfect husband?" Once again, Shampoo enjoyed twisting the knife in her opponent's chest.

"Ah didn't mean that, though there IS room fer improvement... Ah meant that YER not perfect neither!"

Posing for a proverbial camera, she blew a kiss toward Ranma. "How no is? Or more important, how is better?"

"Ah'm real, Ah ain't no blow-up doll ta be used up an' thrown away like a used tissue!"

"Aiyaaa! No make Shampoo forget plan! Is time, Husband make ready!"

"Urk! Why're we doin' this again?" Ranma froze in place as the nimble minx stalked toward him.

"We ain't!" Ukyo wanted to jump in and stop the other girl, but also did not want to leave her post, in case Ranma got away.

"Is to make Airen too too happy. No be scared, is only sweet Shampoo."

"Sweet as a pickled pepper!"

"Then Ranma be Peter Piper, and pick Shampoo!"

"Huh? I don't get it..."

"Ya really were sheltered, huh?"

"Ranma no need worry, Shampoo make forget about problem."

Ranma suddenly jumped back, ready to defend himself. "Ya ain't usin' that memory shampoo on me!"

"No was plan to do, never use on Airen, only want make feel too too good, like did for Shampoo. Only wear apron, no have anything else. If want to use on Husband, would do many time ago to forget other girl like 'Akane' or this one."

"It's what'cha got under th' apron that's got meh worried."

Somewhat concerned about how Ranma might react to the feline on her belly, she subconsciously wrapped her arms around her torso. "Who was one what draw there?"

"That ain't what Ah meant!"

"No? Then what mean?"

"Eh? Never mind!"

Ranma considered that, and realized something. "Ya know that hidden weapons thing too, don't ya?"

"Is true, but no have pockets on this apron, and no want hurt Airen. Wo AI ni!"

The look on her face as she approached, caused in him an unreasonable panic not unlike his ailurophobia, and he started to back away with each step she took closer.

"Ain't it obvious, ya ain't wanted! ...LEAVE RANCHAN ALONE!"

"No is one should leave, we is having fun, and going have much more fun soon... No is need beauty sleeping?"

"Not 'til yer both ready!"

"Then no interrupt, sit, watch Shampoo do job!"

"Job?" Ranma had no idea what 'job' she might mean, but he was nervous to find out.

"Is wife job make good husband happy, just like is husband job make wife happy, and this wife be too too happy, is only fair to pay back!"

"Ya ain't married, and Ranchan don't want'chya!"

"Pancake-Girl no is one what get decide what Airen want."

"Then who does? It ain't ever been me, that's fer sure!" It was rare anyone even asked him what he wanted outside of a few things, like dinner. It was not until Kasumi and Hinako took an interest in his life that anyone ever told him that he even had a option to choose his own path.

"Ah'll do it!"

"Who Ranma WANT make choice?" Shampoo turned to him, her previous lusty expression vanished from her face, and replaced by by a caring look, that reminded him of the eldest Tendo, who was overflowing with concern for his well-being.

"Me, I guess..." He was taken aback by the change in tone, and the sudden shift in direction.

"Then make choice, what is that Ranma really want?"

"Ta make everyone happy...?" Ranma raised an eyebrow, a hopeful look in his eye.

"Well, ya can't DO that!"

Shampoo shoot her head at the outburst. "No pay that one attention, just think, 'what make RANMA happy'?"

"Not ta have ta decide my whole future before I'm even an 'adult'."

Ignoring his exasperated look, she continued. "Shampoo happy make Ranma into adult!"

"Oh no ya don't! Ah ain't lettin' ya git away with that!"

"If want go first, need hurry, Shampoo no want wait more."

Ukyo suddenly found the way that the tips of her index fingers touched to be endlessly fascinating. "But, it's ...too soon."

"Then no interfere! For Shampoo, is too too late!"

"Ya can't!"

"Who say?"

"Ah do! Yer supposed ta wait!"

"Wait long time. Tired of, wait no more!"

"At least let meh help..."

"What the heck're ya talkin' about?"

"Is okay, Shampoo show. Promise, Ranma like. Be best Christmas present ever!" The young woman crawled closer to him, reaching up and placing her index finger on his lower lip before slowly toying with him.

"But, it ain't December." Ranma's eyes were as wide as saucers as her finger made its way toward her chest.

"Airen no sweat detail." She winked and planted a kiss upon his chest.

"Damnit, this ain't fair!" Ukyo stomped the floor in her dissatisfaction, debating on if she wanted to stand her ground, or jump between the lustful lass and her petrified partner.

Ignoring the outburst, Shampoo's finger slid closer to her goal. "Relax please, Shampoo know what Airen like, know how make too too happy."

"What'd ya mean, ya 'know' already? How'd ya know? Ya doin' perverted stuff behind mah back, Ranchan?"

"So it IS perverted!"

"Maybe bit, but that no mean is bad thing. Is thing most living thing do, is only foolish people what say best gift gods give, is 'bad thing'. If so, then why make feel so good?"

"How'd ya KNOW it feels 'so good' then, huh?"

Shampoo just looked at her bewildered beau. "Is stupid? Everyone know! Get 'taste' already, no think feel good?"

"But that's different, that weren't-..."

"No is so different. Shampoo know feel too too good, sleepy Ranma no can lie."

Ukyo had forgotten that possibility having been solely focused on her later discomfort, but this further enforced her previous suspicions of sabotage. Something must have happened while she was sleeping, that had to be it! She focused all of her pain and ire into a glare at her hated rival, wishing to strip all of her devious machinations, and leave her evil plans bare for all to see. 'Y'all'll pay fer what ya did, Ah swear it.' "Ya nevah answered mah question, how izit, that ya know what Ranchan likes? What'cha been doin' when Ah ain't here?"

"No do when no is here, only do when all together!"

"Huh? What'cha mean?"

"I kinda wanna know too, what are ya both talkin' 'bout?"

"Always want Husband be happy, see have problem when sleep, doting wife help! Make sure no poky anyone in sleep."

"WHAT? That's horrible! That's basically rape!" Ukyo was ready to grab her baker's peek and start swinging!

"What husband no want too too beautiful wife lick stick in sleep ...or any time?"

"Wait, 'stick'? Ya don't mean? ...Ugh! Shampoo, do ya know what that does?"

"Shampoo know, wonder if Ranma know... Know womans' parts do almost same thing, was okay for girl part, but no okay for boy part?"

"But, that ain't th' same, this is ...different. It ain't like that was my idea!"

"Was too too good idea! Tell Shampoo no like! No can say when go back for second helping! Airen like eat, why no can Shampoo?"

"I told ya, that was different!"

"How?" Ukyo could not look as Shampoo put her hands on her hips, and stuck out her pert bottom her direction.

"I don't know, it jus' is! It's different when girls do stuff!"

"No be too too sexy pig. This girl want do stuff to this boy! Is dare for pants, is okay or Ranma want Shampoo stop?"

"STOP! Say 'stop'! Let MEH do it fer ya instead!" Ukyo pleaded for her chance.

"WHAT? Ya wanna do that too? Why'd ya even wanna... Eeew!"

"Is okay Airen no like, some no like boy, some no like girl, no one force Ranma." Shampoo took his manhood into her hands, and grinned like a maniac.

"No, ya save that fer meh!"

"Was for dare, but no can keep, Airen no is want marry girl what turn into boy... Right?"

"MAH Ranchan don't wanna marry a girl that turns inta one a them, neither! Do ya, Ranma-Honey?"

"I'd rather not think about it, if it's all th' same ta ya..." He tried to ignore both the thought, and what a pair of hands were trying to make him feel.

"No is Shampoo fault! Doing best control problem!"

"And this ain't mine neither, so quit rubbin' it in mah face, and I'll quit rubbin' yer 'pussy problem' in yers!" She could not help but think about the kitten she had drawn on her belly, it looked so real that it could almost jump off of her, and it was indelible ink!

Shampoo did not think that the other girl's choice to cross-dress was equivalent her curse, but she ignored it and slowly turned her attention back to the area around Ranma's lap. "Speak of rub in face..."

"No, really, Shampoo, ya ain't gotta..." With his back against the wall, he ran out of places to retreat.

"Know no is need for Shampoo, but is what WANT do, and if want get pants, is what need do. Is Ranma enough mans to do dare, or is scared of Shampoo more than kitty?"

With bravado that rang false to the deafest of ears, he protested the very idea. "Ranma Saotome ain't scared a nuthin'!"

"Who is try to tell, Airen?"

"Yeah, ya ain't too convincin' there, Ranchan."

"Fine! I'll show ya! Shampoo, do yer worst! If that prince guy can't beat me, then ya can't neither!"

Both young women's eyes went wide in surprise, though for slightly differing reasons. Shampoo could not believe that Ukyo had 'supported' her taunting Ranma into compliance. Ukyo, on the other hand, had different ideas... "WHAT? What'd that prince do with ya? Were ya a boy er a girl?"

"Oh, MAN, that was a hard one! I was a guy, a' course! ...Most a' th' time."

"Doin' that ...with a guy, but not with meh? Oh, how could ya?" The look of horror on her features went unnoticed as Shampoo went to work and Ranma closed his eyes.

"What do ya mean, ya attacked me when ya first got here!"

"No Ah didn't, it was only a challenge! We didn't do nuthin' like that!"

"Well, I get more serious when someone kidnaps my friends!"

"Is THAT what we gotta do ta git ya ta take us seriously? Or do ya just like that guy better'n us?"

"Naw, I hate that guy! So fast..."

"So it jus' wasn't satisfyin' fer ya?"

"It was when I pounded that guy's butt inta th' ground!" Ranma beamed with pride as he remembered his victory. His elation giving Shampoo a bit of a response to slowly stroking digits.

"Oh no! So ya really DO prefer poundin' guys butts to girls? Ah didn't want ta believe those rumors!"

"What do ya mean? A' course I don't wanna hit any girls! That's awful!" The disgust he felt did nothing to help Shampoo's efforts.

"Why's it awful? It's normal! Ya sayin' ya never thought about poundin' mah ass er nuthin'?"

"Not since I learned ya were a girl!"

"Oh mah stars 'n' garters!" Ukyo was starting to feel faint.

"I mean, why'd I wanna fight ya now that we're friends again?"

Picking herself off of the floor, Ukyo had to shake her head. "Fight? Yer talkin' 'bout FIGHTIN'?"

"Of course is fight, what else manly husband do with one what kidnap Kasumi-onee-chan?"

"DAMNIT!" 'HER! Why's it gotta be HER?'

"What'd ya mean there, Ucchan? Did ya WANT me ta leave Kasumi-san with that jerk?"

"Urk?"

"Shampoo think that one mean, Ranma want dating boys..." Shampoo regretted her answer as any firmness she had cultivated was instantly gone as the blood drained from Ranma's face.

"GAK! Ah don't-!"

"Is that what like? Watch boy with boy? Shampoo hear girl what like that is call 'rotten'?"

"Gulp! Ya mean, like, with KUNO? ...Ucchan, GROSS!" Ranma had to swallow after throwing up a bit in his mouth at the thought.

Seeing Ranma turning blue with disgust as the revelation of what she had meant dawned on him, her brain started to shut down and foam bubbled out of her mouth. Ukyo managed to stay on her feet as her eyes rolled back into her head and she lost consciousness.

Forgetting her seemingly pointless task, Shampoo turned to look at her rival. "Think that one broken..." Walking over, she waved her hand in front of the other girl's face, even snapping her fingers. "Ranma trick no work for Shampoo... Oh well, now is no more distraction, is good time start as any!"

"Shouldn't I-...?" Ranma reached out for Ukyo before he was interrupted.

"No! Is time we do now!" Not wasting another second, Shampoo pounced, pinning Ranma to the mat, with an almost crazed look, and tears in her eyes. "Ranma, please no run from Shampoo this time! Is finally alone!"

"But, I-..." Ranma cringed at the sniffles, his brain going into defensive mode.

"What is problem? Hate Shampoo that much?"

"No! It ain't like that... I don't hate ya guys, I really 'like' ya."

"WO AI NI!" Having read that the shy Japanese use 'like' when they mean 'love', she had all the confirmation she needed! "Suki yo, suki yo, Anata dake... Wo de, Airen..." Staring with his neck, she started planting kisses liberally as she made her way down, hesitating as she gave ample attention to his chest. Her hands were not idle during this time either, once she felt he was not trying to get away, she allowed them to ...wander.

Everything Shampoo was doing, including the sounds she was making, had Ranma feeling ...strange, and something in the back of his mind screamed at him that something VERY bad was about to happen! It was a feeling he just could not shake. What it meant, he had no idea, but what was certain, it was making him incredibly uncomfortable. Even with his promise, and pants, on the line, he wanted to run, the only things keeping him in place were the tears and the desperation in her voice a moment ago, as if her world would end if he left.

The lower her lips went, the more panicked he became, and his mind raced, trying to think of anything that would distract him. The first thing that came to his mind was the picture of him on a date with Kuno, both as men, the idea hit him like a punch in the gut, and a bucket of cold water in his face. However, it soon proved to be unable to keep his mind off of the strange feelings that were rising in him, and he found that he needed something else. He tried running though his more complicated kata in his head, he tried to remember various sporting events, even math problems from work sheets Hinako kept making him do, but none of it was proving to be enough to completely divert his attention from the beguiling beauty homing in on his family jewels. He was quickly running out of options, and pulled out all of the stops, there was only one thing in his memory that could overpower the intense sensations that made him feel as though he would explode if he lost his concentration for even a moment ...Akane's cooking!

Ukyo regained her senses and instantly wished she was still dreaming! It was her worst nightmare, Shampoo licking Ranma's most intimate place! But something did not seem right, and it took her a while to figure out what it was...

While still enjoying her task, Shampoo was finding it rather disheartening, for try as she might, she had received little to nothing for her efforts, barely the slightest twitch! She was so discouraged that even the boisterous chortles of their recently awakened roommate were a welcome distraction.

"Ya couldn't e'en git a rise outa it! An' here Ah thought ya said ya knew what ya were doin'!"

"Shut mouth!"

"It looks like ya might as well too, fer all th' good it's doin' ya!"

"No know what wrong, always work before..."

"Ah guess Ranchan was dreamin' a' meh when ya did that! It's th' only thing that makes sense!"

"Shampoo know, try special technique, Pancake no can use! Is call 'paizuri', tremble in fear, jealous weakling! ...No, no mean Ranma! Listen Shampoo, just need relax and enjoy."

"Please, Shampoo, I can't eat another bite..."

"What? Is crazy? Is Shampoo one what eating!" Glancing between Ranma's pleading look, and Ukyo's unrestrained guffaws, she felt her will snap. "Fine! Take pants, Shampoo jaw tired anyway! Going take bath!" Gathering up her belongings, she stormed off toward the furo.

Glad to have his trial over, Ranma wanted time to be alone. "Hey, Ucchan, I'll clean up here, why don't ya go on ta bed...?"

With her nemesis defeated for the time, she felt safe leaving him alone, and was grateful for the offer. "Thank ya Ranchan, Ah'll see ya soon."

"Huh, yeah, sure..." Ranma started to clean up their mess from the evening, though he did not expect it to take long...

Ukyo had actually wanted sleep alone after the events of the night, it was far too difficult to sleep well in their usual pile on the best of days, and this was a far cry from the 'best of nights'! However, there was no way she was leaving Ranma alone with them, not after what they had done that night, and worse yet, what she had learned about Shampoo and the harlot would do after they were all asleep! Not wanting to let the other woman get the drop on her, she gathered what was left of her things, and made her way toward Ranma's bedroom.

Once Ukyo had left, it had taken Ranma a few moments to calm himself and don his pants before making short work of the mess in the room. It was a good time for a mindless task which allowed for his mind to wander, he had quite a lot to process after that night. For a guy whose world had been shattered as many times as his had, he would have hoped that it would get easier to handle, he had been shaken to his very core. Everything he had thought he knew about so many things managed to get called into question that night, and he just did not know who he should trust...

First there was his father, who taught him almost everything he knew, one way or another, who told him that women would make him weak, took him away from his mother, and was forcing him to marry against both of their wills, and who sold him off to pay various debts... Then there were the boys at school, most of whom would do almost anything to just peek at a naked girl, never mind doing something more, the worst of which was Tatewaki Kuno... The old master... Mikado... Tsubasa... Densuke... Even the nicer ones, like Doctor Tofu, who fell in love with Kasumi before she was even in high school, and so many others... He just could not think of any guys he trusted to ask, Soun might not have been a pervert, but he was certainly bias, and they were not exactly on speaking terms at the time...

He supposed it came down to whom he trusted more, the man who raised him, or this woman who might as well be a total stranger? ...The stranger it is!

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Shampoo could not believe it, she had never seen ink that was so difficult to wash, her skin had turned red, and yet the ink remained. It may be embarrassing, but it seemed she was going to have to seek aid, Onee-chan would know what to do! ...after a long soak. Besides, she had one more thing she needed to do that night!

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Once Ranma had finally joined the others and fallen asleep, Shampoo had quit pretending to be unconscious, and performed her 'nightly ritual' with her usual success, thus restoring some of her lost confidence. 'Shampoo still got it! Aiyaaa, and getting lot of it! Is too too much!'

Once she had cleaned up her mess, she snuggled in with her head on his chest, quickly drifting off to dreamland. "Wo ai ni..."

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Waking up a bit early, the young chef was not happy to have to move and see Shampoo and the others still clinging to her Ranchan, she already felt terrible that morning, she did not need that too. What an embarrassing night it had been! She was still sore ...WAY too sore, and that was not good, not good at all... It looked like she really would have to stop and see the doctor on her way to school, she had better leave early.

Getting cleaned for her day, she had an idea, and searched the changing room, looking through Shampoo's area, until she found what she had been seeking... 'That'll show that bitch! Say Ah ain't sneaky, will ya...?'

She left the house before anyone else had seen her, hoping to get to see the doctor before any of his other patients arrived.

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NOTES

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In this chapter Shampoo states the populated of the planet is almost seven billion, this was back in the early 1990's, as of the publication of this chapter, we are over 7.6 billion, with more than 67 thousand more people being born than are dying every day, that is an increase of about 13 million in the first two months this year (2018). Japan is one of the few countries whose populations is going down.

Don't put anything with sugar in it into anyone's vagina! It's bad, mmmmm'kay. Most foods are bad, mmm'kay, when in doubt, don't.

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OMAKE 06

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"Oh, be a man already, Ranchan! Ya gonna be afraid a' women's bodies fereveh?"

"Hey! I ain't afraid a' nuthin'!"

"Then prove, write love for Shampoo on too too sexy body."

"Well, ya ain't gotta go that far, yer supposed ta write mean stuff, an' draw stupid pictures."

Marker in hand, Ranma did everything he could to avoid looking at Shampoo's naked form as he let his hand draw on its own.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Whadja, draw there, Ranchan?" Ukyo had difficulty not laughing at the silly looking face he had drawn on the other woman's belly.

"No laugh at Ranma drawing!" She batted Ukyo's arm out of her face, sending the other young woman flying through the window, as well as the wall outside, with her naked form coming to rest in the tree across the street. "Aiiiyaaaa...! Shampoo do that? No even trying!"

Risking a glance down at Shampoo's body, Ranma groaned as he realized the stupid face he had drawn, and how difficult it had been to remove from Ryoga!

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How will these games affect our players? Tune in next time and find out, when we watch 'Ten Ways to Play with a Pussy', or 'Three is Charm'.


	29. Chapter 29

Some people say that reading this story will make your oldest childhood friend and three random strangers fall in love with you. Or that's what I heard anyway.

Sorry this is a bit short, but so am I.

Chapter 29 - Wrestling Mania

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"Huh? What's this?" While cleaning, Ranma found a periodical near his room that he did not recognize and flipped through it trying to figure out whose it might be. Aside from wearing some VERY strange outfits, which reminded him vaguely of ninja, the people in it seemed to be fighting. On some pages they were even using weapons, like whips, and yet others who appeared to have lost and had to be restrained. While the weapons had not interested him, submission holds that would restrain someone without hurting them could be just what he needed when various girls attacked him!

Strong or not, he just did not like the idea of hurting a girl, it did not matter if she was tough enough to take it, it just felt WRONG to him, and if these could give him an advantage, it behooved him to do his best to learn them! Besides, there were few techniques he did not want to learn.

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Hinako hated having to wake at such an early hour for work, but she knew that was part of what made her a responsible adult! Educating the ignorant masses was so noble! Such was her calling, and she loved being able to mold the minds of the next generation! Looking down, she saw two of them still sleeping, in a light embrace, and looking so adorable that she had to bite her tongue to prevent a squeal from escaping. Wishing she had been in possession of a camera, she quickly grabbed her fishbowl, and ran from the room before she could disturb them.

Needing some caffeine before her bath, she made her way to the kitchen for a soda and found Nodoka sipping tea. "Oh, um... Morning?"

Glancing at the disheveled woman, the Saotome matriarch smiled. "Ohayo-gozaimasu, and how are you feeling this morning, not too sore I hope."

Blushing at the flash of memory, she had difficulty looking the other woman in the eyes. "No, I can manage... How about yourself?"

"Well I did not get much sleep personally, so I made this tea. Would you like some?"

"No thanks." Taking a long swig off of her soda, she let out a refreshing sigh. "But, I hope it helps."

"I am sure it will. Would you mind having a seat, Sensei-chan? I believe we need to talk."

"Okay... What is on your mind?"

"Sex."

"WHAT?"

"I hate to admit it, but I believe you were correct. Things are not progressing well ...it seems that letting things happen naturally was a mistake after all, we need to hold more basic classes."

"The weekend is almost here, we can have our first class on Sat-..."

"I would prefer if we start today, we have far too many years for which we need to make amends, I do not wish to waste any more precious time. If you would be so kind as to allow me to use your materials, I would like to begin after lunch. If not, I will gather my own."

"You are certainly welcome to what I prepared, but I would prefer to be there, if you do not mind." From what she had seen of the boy's mother, she was a bit concerned how these lessons might go if she were not there to supervise.

Nodoka smiled, happy to see the younger woman's personal interest in her son's sexual education, she certainly looked capable of producing very healthy heirs, assuming her 'condition' did not interfere with the pregnancy... Perhaps it would be best for her to remain a mistress if that were the case, she would need to inquire about that before any decisions were made. "I see, I see... Well it is not that mind, not at all, I am certain that Ranma would love to learn from such a 'lovely' instructor, but I believe that I am more than enough to handle the basic lessons. If you have time after work and on the weekends, then I would love for you to join us."

Hinako had no idea what the other woman meant by 'basic lessons', and worried for the boy's safety. "No! I mean, don't you think that it can wait a 'bit' longer?"

Nodoka was happy to have her being so enthusiastic about the lessons, even if she thought that it might be best to not have the teacher be one of the main contenders for Ranma's 'head wife'. Worst case scenario, there was still the option of taking him to a brothel, or perhaps that nice Moroboshi-san would like to help her out, that woman's husband was almost as useless as her own most of the time, never taking his nose out of that paper of his! "I am not sure that I can, but do not worry yourself, there will be plenty of my son left for you when you return!"

"Ah... sure." She was going to need to hurry home after school, and not waste a moment!

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Mulling over the problems she faced with this new development as she walked toward the bath, Hinako heard grunting coming from the den. She peeked into the room and saw part of a magazine about sadomasochism poking out from behind lounge, and the breathing was definitely coming from there. She did not want to interrupt, but her child-like curiosity begged her to continue and she crept forward, until she saw Ranma's head steadily moving forward and back...

"ONII-CHAN! What are you DOING in there?" She threw her hands over her mouth with a gasp, kicking herself for disturbing him...

"Hinako-sensei!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-..."

"I'm glad yer here!"

"What? No, not like that! Wait... What did you want?"

"Well, ya see, I found this magazine, with these weird wrestling moves, an' I was tryin' ta figure them out, but I'm missin' somethin', I just don't get how it works..."

Looking at the magazine again, her face went flush with memories of what they did the night before, and wondering what 'exactly' he needed help with... "That's because those 'wrestling moves' are not actually fighting, those people are having sex."

"Oh, okay, I guess that makes sense... What's this 'sex', some ninja style?"

Recovering from her face-fault, Hinako looked very much like an enlightened monk, freshly returned from a lengthy sojourn. "I KNEW it!"

"Then teach ME!"

"WHAT?"

"If ya know how ta do this, ya gotta tell me!"

"What! No, I mean, yes I do, but hold on..." She turned away, clutching her chest, trying to catch her breath. She had to remember, he did not know what he was asking, and she already planned to teach him, just not like THAT! "We ARE going to teach you, but it is much like what you did to us last night, it is a different kind if 'battle', and not one you should do with just anyone. Okay?"

"So, that stuff from last night was part of the secret?"

"Sort of... Look, this is something you should only do with people you REALLY like."

"Well, ya really helped me out, ya been a good friend, so I really do like you, even when yer tryin' ta git me to do homework 'n' stuff..."

"You 'LIKE' me?" Hinako turned her head and covered her blushing cheeks with her hands, she had never had anyone say that to her before! "But, you should be doing this with one of your girlfriends, not some old woman, like me..."

"How can I, if I don't know how? I wanna master it, before I try it fer reals..."

"Do you know what you are asking?" '...No, of course not, calm yourself Hinako, you are a teacher, not a schoolgirl!'

"Yeah, fer trainin'! Look, I ain't never had this much trouble learnin' a move before... Th' only time was yer Happo Yen thing, so if ya know what I'm missin', then please tell me, am I wastin' my time again?"

"Well, no, not exactly, they are just not the kind of things you can master without a partner..."

"Then HELP me! ...please?"

"I'm sorry Ranma-kun, it's just not that easy, I need to go to work soon, but this is what your 'special classes' are going to cover. I wanted to teach them, but your mother insisted that we begin sooner than that, and so will begin your basic lesson this afternoon. I will not be able to be there until after classes, so I will make sure to get someone else to watch detention for me, and the weekend is almost here, so I promise to help you ...at least in theory."

Happy that he was going to learn, he was a bit disheartened by her choice of words. "What do ya mean, 'in theory'?"

"Well, I should not be the one to 'help' in certain ways..." She remembered how enthusiastic Nodoka had been, and the odd feelings she had gotten from the older woman with a cringe. "However, it is up to your mother, but let us just say that 'you have better options', and let us leave it at that." She would certainly step in, if the other woman tried to teach the boy a bit too directly, but even if he was no longer in her class, she still felt like the boy's teacher, and did not want to cross that line ...at least, not again! Even if the thoughts of which were 'incredibly' enticing...

"All right, I guess, but ya promise ta help, if I'm still havin' problems?"

'Not THAT way, but...' "Yes, Saotome-kun, I promise. Now you promise me something please."

"Um, okay, what?"

"Just ...wait on this until we have more time to talk, and please, be careful..."

"Okay, but hey, Teach?"

"Yes, Saotome-kun?"

"Could ya maybe use a plate when ya eat toast? Yer getting' crumbs everywhere."

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Ryu awoke to find Nabiki riding atop of him, which was not an unpleasant nor unfamiliar wake-up call, but he could not let her get away with treating him like a toy that could be used at her whim. "What, again?"

"Just a quickie before I have to run to school... You can't tell me you don't love it!"

"What I love, is being aware of it when it happens!"

"Is that all?" She favored him with one of her patented sardonic smiles.

Ryu blushed as his voiced dropped. "...I love you too."

"Good answer, just for that, I will let you finish ...mmmm, too." Kissing him on the cheek, she hopped off of him, and ran for the shower. Nabiki was having the time of her life, not only was she having fun, but she had been making a small fortune! It almost made her regret giving Ranma up on the occasions she had him, sure he needed a lot of work to get to this point, but she could have been doing this the whole time! On the other hand, he came with a lot of baggage, while Ryu was just poor, but he was going to help make her rich!

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Kasumi had noticed that more books continued to appear on their shelves as the days passed, and while she was not entirely certain as to who had been supplying them, it made her feel good to see that others shared her love of reading. She held little hope that it was Ranma, and yet she HAD seen him with a book in-hand on several occasions since they had moved into this house, so it was rubbing of on him to some degree anyway. That thought brought an extra skip in her step and a song in her voice, as she hummed along with her cleaning.

As she finished her dusting, she noticed that one of these 'new' books was resting on a table outside her bedroom door. "Oh my, why would someone leave this here?"

Looking at the cover she saw a handsome young man with long flowing hair, holding a young maiden in his muscled arms. "Oh my, that looks like... Perhaps I should look inside..."

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Deciding the only real way to clear the fog out of her head was to take a bath, Nodoka cleaned her cup before making her way to the changing room. As she removed her clothing, she heard strange grunts coming from the furo, and quietly moved to investigate, expecting to see lovers enjoying their youth. To her disappointment, she was not even half correct, there was only one young lover, and she did not appear to be enjoying herself at all...

The young woman was furiously scrubbing her body with the bucket of warm, soapy water, having no luck removing the markings. "Shampoo-chan, is this a hobby of yours?"

"Oh, good morning, honored mother. No is 'hobby', is from game. Stupid Pancake-Girl do front, Ranma draw on back..."

"As long as you are not in the Yakuza, then I suppose it is not a problem." Nodoka was impressed with the Ukyo's art, but not by her language, and quickly moved so she could see her other side. "It seems as if the boy is rather fond of your backside. ...Like father, like son."

"Shampoo glad if make Airen happy."

"You will not make too many people happy if you scrub off that beautiful skin though. Here, let me help you." Nodoka looked through her things to see what might help.

"Shampoo be honored if Mother help get off..."

"Oh dear..." Shaking her head, Nodoka considered her options, and figured she had some coconut oil, or coco-butter lotion in her bag. "First we should rinse this soap off of you, and then we can try some better options."

Grabbing the shower hose to help her son's lover wash off the soap, she could not believe her eyes when the young woman changed into a pink and purple cat! "Oh dear! How did this happen? Do you have one of those curse things as well?"

Shampoo jumped into the furo to change back, eliciting another gasp of surprise from the woman she saw as her mother-in-law. "Oh dear! That is the first time I ever saw a kitten eager to jump into a bath!"

"What happen to Shampoo magic soap?"

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By the time she had finished the short romance novel, Kasumi was drenched in sweat, feeling VERY strange, much like the night before, and desperately wanting a bath! She quickly returned the book to the library, and made her way back down the hallway. Upon opening the door, she saw a nude Shampoo, lying on a table, covered in oils, and having her breasts massaged by Nodoka! "Oh my! Do you ...need help?"

"Would you care to help us rub this lotion into Shampoo-chan's skin, we seem to have gotten into a bit of an ink problem."

"I would love to. Did you know, toothpaste can also help remove marker?" Not wanting to get marker on her clothing, Kasumi started to get ready for her bath.

"You have to do that often?"

"I did have two younger sisters who fought frequently..."

"I see, well children can be a handful ...or so I have heard."

"You have a son."

"I did, before being taken from me ...but one child is not the same as 'children'."

"Well, that IS true."

"I always wanted a house full of the pitter patter of little feet...!"

"Shampoo want help make dream happen!"

"Oh my..."

"So eager! Just look at you."

"Shampoo be waiting for Ranma for too too long!"

"Well, it is not manly to make a lady wait..."

"But Airen too too manly in many way! Is worth wait!"

"Do not worry, I am not going to rescind my declaration of manliness, however that does not mean that we should let this unmanly behavior persist, does it?"

"NO MOTHER! Shampoo help fix, any way can!"

"But, what about what Ranma-kun wants?"

"My son wants to be manly!"

"What man no want be with Shampoo?"

While she had no words to counter their arguments, something about them did not feel appropriate to Kasumi. She started to get the feeling that she needed to keep a much closer eye on Ranma, he needed someone looking out for 'him'. While she would never accuse anyone, even to herself, she was starting to get an inkling that perhaps everyone else could have had ulterior motives for wanting to help him, as unbelievable as that seemed. Who could imagine?

While the purpose of this was to help break down all of the ink on her body, Shampoo was really enjoying having the two beautiful, almost nude, older women touching her in so many sensitive places. It was how she had envisioned it would be like when she had heard about the soapland establishments from her grandmother, though she had always pictured herself as the one washing Ranma, but she had to admit, having two people rubbing on her felt incredible, if only they would use more than their hands...

"Oh my, Shampoo-chan, why are you ...licking me ...ooo ...there? That's dirty."

"Just want help feel as good as make Shampoo feel."

"But, that isn't what I-... Oooooo..."

"No care, or is that only want Ranma do?"

"Oh, I- ...Oh my, but, that was just... I didn't mean to... Oh, oh my..."

"Did say 'butt'? Okay then, Shampoo rub too." She giggled as Kasumi jumped a bit when she goosed her.

"If you lay down and act like a doormat... then you are sure to get walked on." Nodoka's mind wandered as she remembered the passage.

"If this is what a doormat feels like, then I think ...I do not think that I mind!" Wait, was that not from the book she had just read? Was that HER book then?

Nodoka was happy to see the skinship evolving between the two and had been about to back off, when the younger girl's arm snaked around her thigh and began massaging her right rear cheek as well. "Oh ...wait!"

"No wait! Shampoo no let miss out on fun! Need thank for make too too handsome son. Too too much want thank for what do last night."

"I did not do anything." Nodoka tried not to take credit for anything, but was unable to back away from the pair.

"Do too! Try too too long get Ranma love Shampoo, no was until Mother show up, that finally have best day! No is fair Mother only give joy, but no have fun self."

"I am happy just watching you children make progress."

"Should also FEEL how progress! No can tell only by watching. If make better, say how Shampoo do! Can give pointer, yes?"

"You do make a ...goooood argument!"

"Want Ranma think so too..."

"I am sure my son is just mmmmm ...shyYYy."

Shampoo nodded vigorously, not pausing to speak.

She could not disagree with Nodoka's words, however while Ranma was indeed very shy, Kasumi did not think that was all there was to it. She had spent months thinking about it, researching psychology text books, women's journals, manga, and anything else she could find that might relate to Ranma and his situation. Among other things, she had stumbled upon some research by an old Russian man and his dogs that seemed to fit some of his reactions, and some of the things she had seen and heard had made her think she might have a clue as to the cause of his problem, but she wanted to watch him a bit longer to be certain. The clues are easier to see when one knew what the signs were.

Shampoo was acting like a proverbial cat in heat, appearing as if she were trying to lick her and Nodoka clean, with the girl's detailed attentions bringing Kasumi partially back into the moment. "Though, that does NOT really explain, mmmm, why you are doing thiiiis..."

"Both help Shampoo get clean, so Shampoo help get too too dirty for bath."

"Oh my..." Kasumi was not sure as to why, however those words enticed her, like a sinfully delicious forbidden fruit, or a delectable dessert.

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Ranma did not really want to disobey Hinako's wishes, nonetheless, once he had cleaned up her mess, he found that he just could not resist the call of learning new techniques and had gone back to trying to study the 'manual' that almost seemed to have been left out for him to find. As if the lure of learning a new move was not attractive enough to him, on another level that he could not understand, he also found the images appealing in a somewhat different way...

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Knowing that Ukyo left the house before her, Hinako still wondered why she had not come to class that morning, she would have to have words with her if she found out that she was simply skipping classes! However, her concern was split between wondering what might have happened to Ukyo, and what was going to happen to Ranma. Considering how impatient Nodoka seemed, that was the issue that took up most of her attention, and when she thought of Ranma, she had trouble not remembering what he had done to her the night before...

She had even been having trouble concentrating during class, completely lost in her thoughts, and worried about what was going to happen. On more than one occasion she had to stop her hand from having a mind of its own, and was tempted to run to the lavatory as her fantasy ran its course...

"Hinako-sensei!" One of the students raised her hand.

Shaking her head, she focused her attention on the speaker. "Oh, yes, sorry, what can I do for you?"

"Are you gonna start class?"

"Are you okay? You don't look well..."

"No, I am fine, where were we?"

"Taking attendance..."

"Ya called out Saotome's name for some reason and then spaced out ...for like ten minutes."

"Face it, you know that guy ain't coming no more."

'But I sure did...' Hinako almost spaced out again, before shaking her head.

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"I am bit disappointed in you, my dear."

Hurt, and wondering what she might have done wrong, Kasumi's sad eyes pleaded with the older woman. "I am terribly sorry, what can I do...?"

"You let that younger girl lead you along, but YOU are the head of this house, and YOU are the one who should be in control at all times, this is what our training will focus starting next. ...Oh, do not give me that look, I am a guest, you are the head of the house here, you need to be more assertive."

"How can I be the 'Head of the House'? I am a woman, and this is Ranma-kun's house..."

"We have been over this, it is the head wife who runs the house, the only ones who are not 'in' on that 'secret', are the Japanese husbands! We let them act like they are in charge, because it makes them feel good, and then they make us feel good, but we know who is really running the show. We maintain the house, and the people within it, we keep everything working, making sure everything functions as it should, you should know this, how long did you take care of your family?"

"But that is not the same thing! ...Father is-..."

"Likely no different than almost any other husband I have known. Trust me my dear, most men are the same. Even when they are affectionate at first, they get bored of us. It is not really their fault, men reach their sexual peak in their late teens, while we reach ours in our mid thirties, they just tire out so easily."

"I believe I remember that from my text books. It seems that the gods were cruel masters."

"Not really, it was simply their way of telling us to go after a fine young stud when we are ready to mate."

"You make it sound like we are animals."

"We are, especially when it comes to mating, if you know what I mean."

"But what about you, you did not marry a younger man, you look much younger than Uncle Genma..."

"Thank you, but I was not given a choice who I was to marry, but I was not necessarily talking about 'marriage', now was I?"

"Oh my..."

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Shampoo had been listening in on their conversation from the furo, and was not sure how she felt about it. While she agreed that Kasumi needed to be more assertive in her life, and it may have only been the language barrier causing her to misunderstand, but she could have sworn that Nodoka had been pushing Kasumi to be Ranma's bride! She had thought that she had earned his mother's approval! Did she do something wrong? Was it the markers? What was she going to do? This was all that chef's fault!

She was going to have to talk to Kasumi, that was the only option! Before she did anything, she needed to find out how her 'onee-chan' felt! How would Ranma react to that news?

...That thought froze her up. Would he like that, 'more' than HER? She did not mind sharing her bountiful blessings with her friend once in a while, but that was taking it a bit too far! Just when she thought she was about to win the race, a new contestant was being pushed into a cart in front of her! On the other hand, it was her 'big sister' Kasumi, did she really want to stand in the way of her happiness, even if it meant she was exiled ...or worse?

While waiting to catch Kasumi alone, the young woman considered the possibilities, wanting to have thought through a few responses, her grasp of the language could suffer when she got emotional. First she tried to think of what the worst case might be, which would be her getting dumped in favor of one of the others and likely exiled, where the best case would be that Kasumi was not interested at all. The problem with her estimation of a best case scenario, was that she could not understand how could anyone resist her Ranma! She needed a plan!

First things first, she ran around the house, making sure there were no chores left to finish, then she made a pot of Kasumi's favorite tea and a treat the older woman had enjoyed from her village. Hopefully, she could get her friend to see reason, otherwise she did not know what she would do...

At this point, a miniature Ukyo, dressed in navy-blue bondage gear, horns, and a tail, appeared on her right shoulder, and whispered into her ear. "But, I thought 'obstacles were for killing'..."

"What? Shampoo no can do!"

"Why not, ain't that yer rule?"

A tiny Kasumi appeared on her left shoulder, dressed in much the same way, other than being in white and gold, with a halo and wings instead of the horns and tail. "Oh my, is that really a rule, Shampoo-chan? It is not good to break the rules..."

Shampoo's mood darkened as she replied with her eyes downcast. "Rule is like husband, no is hard fast..."

"Oh my..." The angel's hands covered her mouth.

"But even if do, Shampoo no want live with self, and Ranma sure to hate Shampoo too too much..."

"Perfect! Then do it! Two birds, one stone!" The lil' devil cackled as she rubbed her hands together.

"No want to!"

"Oh, but it is a law, you must always follow the laws..." The earnestness in her voice was painful to Shampoo's ears.

"See, even th' 'obstacle' is askin' ta be killed!"

"NO! Is dumb law! Shampoo always tell Great Grandmother, only use for scaring! Beside, no is okay break one law to follow other, yes?"

"Oh my, whatever do you mean?"

"Law for village no is okay in Japan, and as say, 'ru xiang sui su', 'when enter village, follow custom', or some say, 'when in Rome, do Roman thing'."

"Nah, Ah don't think nobody says THAT!"

"Is too, Shampoo just say!"

"That don't count!" Shampoo flinched as the tiny pitchfork jabbed her shoulder.

"Shut up! Shampoo no listen! Go way!" As she swung her fist at the micro-devil, the little thing sprouted bat-like wings, and quickly flew out of reach. "Rather never go back village, than hurt Kasumi-onee-chan!"

"Oh my, thank you, Shampoo-chan."

"Shampoo say same, no matter what say, never do!"

"Whatever do you mean?" Kasumi's voice had been sounding a bit deeper and less hollow, and Shampoo started to worry as to why that was.

Looking behind her, she saw the real Kasumi standing in the doorway. "Aiyaaaa! How long there?"

"Since you said you did not wish to hurt me. Who are you talking to?"

"Aiyaaa... No is important! Just talking to Shampoo... Er, mean, 'was looking for Kasumi-onee-chan', want talk, is okay?"

"Certainly, Shampoo-chan, what do you need?"

Pouring them each a cup of tea, she offered her one of the morning tea snacks she had made, and took a deep breath. "Shampoo hear what mother say, say Kasumi-nee-chan should send Shampoo away, and be head of house! That Shampoo job! Want know, is Kasumi-onee-chan plan marry Ranma, or no? Shampoo no mind if borrow, but please, no take husband from Shampoo!"

The idea of marrying Ranma made her blush, but she quickly shook the idea out of her mind. "Of course not, Shampoo-chan! While it is ultimately Ranma-kun's choice who to marry, it is not my intention to take your husband. I support you..." While racing to find the right words to comfort her sobbing friend, Kasumi latched onto something the panicking girl had said. "What do you mean ...'borrow'?"

"Is old village tradition, warrior what is too too close, let borrow husband when mens is too too hard for finding."

"I am no warrior."

"No matter, is like sister to Shampoo, no want lose friend over mens, if Onee-chan want come borrow Ranma sometime, then is okay, just no take from Shampoo, please! Shampoo beg!"

Taking her into her arms, she stroked the younger girl's hair. "It is okay, I am not sure what you mean, but have no fear, I have no intention of marrying anyone right now. Okay?" Kasumi felt much better as Shampoo returned her hug in earnest.

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While Ukyo did not enjoy explaining her situation to him, Tofu had explained how she had gotten the infection, and had given her some topical cream to use to treat it, but she had to apply it inside several more times. She had visions of Ranma rubbing it in with his fingers and tongue, but could never bring herself to ask something so embarrassing!

Speaking of Ranma, she could not believe that he had thought she ate so much okonomiyaki, that she actually secreted sauce! Even if that WOULD save a lot of money, she had never been so mortified in her life! Well, that was until she had gotten to work and Konatsu had pointed out the bruises on her wrists, that had been visible all day... She was glad she had taken a sick day from school, who knows what people would say? There was no way she could have faced Akane in that condition, that was for sure! She needed time to figure out how she felt about it as it was without an interrogation. The girls at school could be relentlessness, and that was before it even came to Nabiki! At least she had long, tight sleeves she could wear for work...

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After cleaning up from their lunch, Nodoka gathered the three young adults before she started Ranma's class. "I know you girls are eager to assist us with this class, however for the first half, I will ask that you two do not join." She waited a moment for Shampoo's disappointment to pass. "I will call you both in once we are ready for the next stage."

"Is sure no need Shampoo? Can help in many many way!"

"That is very kind of you, but I am sure that Mother will tell us when we can be of assistance."

"But Shampoo be too too helpful..." Her pout was very moving, and it took every bit of Nodoka's willpower to resist.

"I am certain that you are my dear, although for this part, we are going to need a bit of privacy."

"What need keep private from too too sexy wife?"

"Kasumi-chan?"

"Yes, Mother." Without even realizing that she had even done it, Kasumi looked down to see Shampoo tied up in front of her. "Oh my! Did I do that?"

Not sure how she had ended up in this position, the young warrior realized that this was the second time she was effectively beaten by the older girl. "Kasumi-nee-chan? How do?"

"I am not exactly certain..."

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Ranma sat, wondering what his mother had in mind, like with most classes, he was not looking forward to it, and the embarrassment from his memories of the night before only made his discomfort even worse. The pictures from the medical books did not interest him, the only thing that he cared about was that it was a weak point on the body, and one that no martial artist with any honor would ever target intentionally with an attack! It was not as if he did not know what boys' and girls' bodies looked like, less on the inside perhaps, but he had a general idea, knowing the body, and what it can do, was a big part of the art after all.

That had been something that had bothered him about the book he had been studying, while grappling was not the same thing as hitting, many of those moves seemed to involved those parts of the body, and the more he thought about it, the stranger it made him feel... Eventually he had to give up, counting on Hinako to keep her word, and show him later, though it kept him distracted throughout the lesson.

"Ranma, dear, are you listening to me?"

"Yeah! Of course I am!"

"Then perhaps you would like to tell me what 'this' is?"

"The butt?"

"What? Oh, right, I mean this..."

"Is that a ...nipple?"

"Not quite, but you DO suck on it..."

"What?"

"That is what nipples are for after all."

"They are? Why? I didn't think they really had a 'use'..."

"Of course they do, most things do, though some might be more useful than others. With women, and extremely rare cases men, they can produce milk. This is to feed babies and typically only after getting pregnant, but even when not lactating, they are one of the pleasure zones that you will need to learn for these techniques."

That got his attention, his eyes suddenly opened fully and he sat up straight. "Oh? What kind a' techniques?"

"Much like the ones in that magazine you have been looking at all day."

Ranma looked around the room nervously. "What? How did...?"

"A mother knows..." She chose not to mention the fact that she had left it out where he was certain to find it in the first place. "Now you need to pay attention, and memorize these important areas, they are going to be critical to your later lessons. ...How your father ever got you to learn anything when you will not pay attention to the basics, I will never know."

"Well, Pops always told me when it was somethin' ta do with th' art! Though, other 'en gettin' money, food, an' sake, Pops never talked about much that wasn't about th' art, so it was easy ta tell."

"You should consider everything a new technique, even if you cannot always see its immediate value, you never know when it might come in handy."

Ranma's eyes lit up as he remembered something. "Oh, like when Mousse put those handcuffs on me ta keep me from usin' my hands, but they turned out ta be a good weapon!"

"Um, I suppose...?"

"An' there was that Martial Arts Calligraphy match, when I had ta' know how ta write better..."

"Well, I-... Wait, what? ...Never mind that, what is important is that you pay attention to your studies, you will be tested on this later!"

"Awww..."

"Trust mommy, your future happiness depends on what you will learn over the next few days."

"Happiness, when does that start?"

"Last night..."

"It did?"

"Yes, yes it did. You may not realize it yet, but you are living most men's dream."

"It seems ta me, most guys're perverts."

"Most PEOPLE are 'perverts' to some degree or another, it is normal. All creatures great and small long to reproduce, and that is not a bad thing. It is only wrong, when the other person is not willing, or at an inappropriate time or place. When you are in a relationship with someone, then it is only natural to want to 'play' together."

"That ain't what Akane always said, an' that was my iinazuke."

"I did just say 'willing'... Tell me this, did the two of you want to be engaged?"

Ranma jumped up, slamming his hands on his desk. "NO! Who told ya that? We never wanted it!"

"That is what I have heard, and that is my point. You need to find people who are happy to be with you, and you have that."

"I guess, but Akane always said that's part a' what made me a pervert."

"This Akane seems to not be very knowledgeable on the subject."

"But the girls at school mostly said so too!"

"Beside the fact that children your age tend to be woefully misinformed, I am afraid our society has started to become rather repressed in the last several decades."

"Huh? What'd ya mean?"

"Ever since the last war, many changes have happened, and people are forgetting the old ways. Now we ignore our lovers needs, if we acknowledge them at all. We work so hard that we forget about other people, the bonds of friendship, and our own needs. It is no wonder all of you youngsters are all so shy, afraid of the contact of the other gender."

"I ain't afraid a' nuthin'!"

"That is good, I am sure we will get to test you on that soon."

"Urk!"

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"Aiyaaa. Shampoo help test!" Her soft whisper not traveling through the door they their glasses against to listen, but loud enough for Kasumi to hear.

"No, no, we must wait here, until we are called."

"Please call Shampoo soon, please call Shampoo soon..." After a few moments, the young woman stopped her chanting, and looked at her companion. "What think Mother call to do?"

"Oh my, I do not know what is planned..."

Shampoo got a sly look on her face as she looked into the other young woman's eyes. "What Kasumi-nee-chan WANT happen?"

"OH! Um, I just want Ranma-kun to learn a lot!" Kasumi looked away as certain options fluttered through her mind.

"Onee-chan want teach Ranma many thing?"

"What? No, I mean, not me, but ...oh my!" Predictably, Kasumi blushed, the heat rising from her loins, as her mind pictured Ranma doing with her, some of the things the main character had done with the heroine in the book she had just finished.

"Shampoo think protest too too much... Tell truth now."

"No, I didn't think... I wouldn't... I couldn't... It's not..."

"Shampoo think Onee-chan want repay of Ranma from last night, yes?"

"No, but... I guess, maybe, that might not be the proper thing to do, but is it? I mean-..."

"Shampoo think so."

"Really? But, it is just so..."

"So good? So fun?"

"So ...dirty."

Shampoo grinned at her friend. "Yes, is best part."

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Finally! The school day was over, and Hinako had managed to get another teacher to cover her for detention! With no time to waste, she ran for the train station as quickly as her long, shapely legs could carry her. The thoughts of what had happened the night before, spurned her on to greater speed, and giving her nervous energy as she waited for the train.

What had Nodoka been doing during that class while she was not there? Images of her and Ranma, and occasionally with Shampoo and Kasumi as well, in almost every position from the Shijuhatte and then some! Her imagination had really begun to run wild as she fidgeted inthe car, one hand holding onto the straps while her other hand was having difficulty resisting the option of setting down her fishbowl and reacting to her imagination.

So distracted by her thoughts, she failed to notice the announcement about the car rocking until someone had bumped into her from behind. She did not think anything of it as she peeled herself off of the train's door, that was until she felt the hand patting her posterior!

Hinako could not believe someone was trying to molest her, again! One would think they would learn ...eventually. She was a regular on this route after all, and many of the passengers knew what she did to perverts who could not keep their hands to themselves! ...If only it was not making her so weak in the knees. "Mmmmmmm... What are you doing, you delinquent, you!"

"Your words and voice to do match, Lady." The grubby looking man glared at her as she continued to moan.

"You ...had better stop ...it, before AIiii make you regret, mmm, your actions!" A voice in the back of her head had tried to convince her of the benefits allowing them to have their way with her, but very idea of rewarding such behavior sickened her, and she tried to fight it.

"Oh, come on, you're not even wearing panties, you know you want this!" One of his hands drifted up, while the other remained caressing her posterior. "Oh? No bra either? We've got a live one here boys!"

After her imagination had been running away with her, and paranoid about Nodoka's possible overzealous and impatient teaching methods, Hinako found herself desiring the man, any man ...every man here! But no, she had to resist, if nothing else, Ranma was depending on her to help him! Yes, that was it, she needed to stop these men, so that she could be there with ...FOR, her ...Oniii-chan!

Knowing she could not depend on them supporting her for long, she set her fishbowl on her head before she leaned forward, trapping one of their hands between her breasts and the window of the train's door. She tried to control her breathing, yet it remained raspy as she tried to focus on her plan.

"Wow, this one is really getting into it. Glad to see you are being honest now!"

"Yeah, and with those curves, this is going to be great!" Several guys crowded in more closely, preventing anyone else from seeing her.

Taking every bit of willpower she could muster, Hinako managed to reach behind her, near the man's belly.

"Oh ho! Going for it already are you?" The first man prepared himself, expecting her to reach into his pants.

"Happo No-Coin Return!" Keeping the man's hand trapped by her breasts, he was unable to fly away with the force of the blast, preventing any damage to the train car. While her output was severely weakened by her frazzled state of mind, taking the full blast to the belly was not something the man was able to handle, and he collapsed in a heap on the ground.

"What the HELL was THAT? What's with this chick?"

Doing her best to pull herself together, she reached into her pocket for a coin. "This 'chick', will be the last one you molest in public! Happo Five-yen Satsu!"

The other men had no where to dodge, even if they had known what to expect, and quickly withered into a pale husk of the men they were to the applause of the rest of the passengers. "Take that, delinquents!" Watching them go down, she felt safe enough to finish pulling down her skirt and buttoning up her blouse.

"Great job, we knew you had those guys!" Several of the nearest passengers looked sheepish about not having done anything to help.

'Yeah, right, you were just hoping for a free show.' Mumbling under her breath, she continued to balance her fish on her head as she exited the train and dragged the unconscious men to the nearest police box before heading toward home in a hurry. The previous event fresh in her mind, making her all the more ...concerned for Ranma's safety, yes, that was it!

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NOTE

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Nodoka's views of history are a bit skewed, and romanticized.

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OMAKE 07

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While Ukyo bathed that morning, she saw the bruises and rope burns, and was still not looking forward to her day. She had done her best to hide her arms, but once they had gotten to gym class, she had no choice. The voices of her classmates murmuring about her, and her possible hobbies echoed off of the locker room walls, accusing her of some of the most outlandish things.

The youngest Tendo walked over to her, concern written plainly over her face. "Ukyo-chan, are you ...are you doing okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, Akane-chan, Ah'm fine."

"Are you sure, you're not in some kind of 'Fifty Shades of Okonomiyaki' or something, are you?"

"What? Oh no, it ain't nuthin' like that!"

"Are you sure? ...Ranma did this to you, isn't that right?"

"NO! Ranchan didn't have nuthin' ta do with it!" 'Well, not really...' With her guilty look, everyone else was surrounding her asking questions, very personal questions.

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How will Ranma be schooled by his mother? Come back next time for, 'Sex-Ed for Dummies', or 'Keep it in the Family', and find out!


	30. Chapter 30

Notice: Nothing in this chapter is mine, it all belongs to the caffeine monsters who live under my bed. I give them shelter under my cold mattress in exchange for ideas.

Chapter 30 - Kissing is Such Sweet Sorrow.

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Part of Shampoo was enjoying the nervous fretting her friend had been doing, she was adorable when flustered, but she had had to admit, she was not exactly comfortable with their current situation either. She wanted to be the one to 'teach' him everything, while learning what she could about him as well. She definitely did not like being left out of the loop! They had not heard anything new in a while, and they were starting to wonder what was happening in the other room.

"Tadaima!"

"Okaerinasai." Kasumi quietly greeted the disheveled new arrival and led her to where they were listening in on the 'class'. She was curious about her appearance, but did not want to be rude and pry.

"What is going on, what did I miss?" Hinako's heavy breathing slowed down her ability to speak as she leaned on the wall.

Not removing her ear from the glass, Shampoo glanced at the tardy teacher. "Is class, but why look so messy? Have fight on way home?"

"You could say that... but that is not important right now, all that matters is what is happening in there!"

Shampoo's eyebrow rose in response to the panicked tone clear in the other woman's voice. "No know, no is talking for long time..."

Kasumi picked up on Hinako's tone and started to fidget herself. "Well, I don't know all of the details, but the last thing we heard was something like, 'you need to become familiar with what a woman is like down there', or something like that, I think..."

"WHAT? We have to stop it!"

"Why is?"

"Yes, whatever could you mean, Sensei?"

"But ...if ...I mean ...oh never mind!" Throwing open the door, Hinako rushed into the room. "Wait! You've got to stop! If you need to examine an adult woman's body, then use mine instead!" Opening her eyes she saw that a fully clothed Nodoka, standing before a nude Ranma, in cursed form, staring into a mirror.

"Huh? What're ya talkin' about? Ain't I old enough ta look at?" Ranma glanced back and forth between the mirror and his former teacher.

"You are fine, Honey. Thanks to the curse, I did not think another person was necessary, we only needed a mirror, and this way we get the added benefit of knowing how it FEELS as well as looks, which is very important. It seemed less embarrassing for Ranma to do this alone. It is not enough to just make heirs, a man among men must also 'please' their ladies..."

The vision of the night before flashed through her mind again, and she almost climaxed just from the memory. "I do not believe 'that' will be much of an issue."

"You may be correct, though I do not see any reason not to cover every detail. I suppose if you insist upon being the model, I do not really object. Go ahead and take your clothes off, and sit over here."

"Wait, I didn't mean... But I thought you were... Oh crap." Having cornered herself, she slowly started to reach for the top button on her blouse.

"No, Shampoo want do too! Come, Kasumi-onee-chan, no let old womens do job of too too pretty girls!"

"Wait, what? Oh my..." Kasumi gasped as Shampoo dragged her into the room by her wrist.

"Hey! I'll have you know I'm not 'that' OLD!" She finished removing her shirt to emphasize how young she still looked. "And I can look younger than ANY of you!"

"Well, I appreciate that you young ladies are so eager, but we simply do not need this many volunteers for this exercise." Not wanting to see a fight break out, Nodoka decided to stop it before it started. "Let us just move on to the next lesson, Ranma, you can do more of this on your own. I want you to spend at least thirty minutes a day, in each form, exploring yourself, until I say otherwise."

"Aaaaw..." Ranma's face drooped at the thought of 'homework'.

"Do not look at me like that, remember, this is for your 'training'!" Nodoka's stern look gave him no room to argue.

"Aiyaaaa! Why Shampoo never think that? Is too too good! Shampoo help Ranma train!"

"But, I supposed ta do this alone..."

"Is true, but Shampoo can help practice, and with many other move too."

"But-..." Ranma tried to protest, but was interrupted.

"What problem? No like taste of Shampoo?" The pouting warrior blinked her wide, puppy-dog eyes.

"Your girlfriend makes a good point. Did you not enjoy yourself during last night's training?" Nodoka looked down her nose at her cursed son, still sitting on the floor.

"Oh my, yes..." Everyone turned to see a blushing Kasumi quickly covering her mouth. "Was that out loud? I am very sorry ...please forgive me!"

"Nothing to forgive my dear, I am glad you were pleased. Now, let us give Ranma a moment, to get changed, and we can start the next part of class."

"Shampoo help!" Before anyone could move, she had a teakettle in hand, and was pouring it over Ranma's head, eyes glued to his lap, waiting for the change.

"Hey, ya could a' waited 'til I got dressed."

All other eyes joined Shampoo's locked onto Ranma's groin, as she tried to look innocent. "No want be in wet clothes, yes? Here is towel for Airen."

Accepting the towel, Ranma dried himself off, and quickly dressed himself to varying levels of disappointment among his unwanted audience. "Ya gotta stare like that?"

"Oh my, I am sorry, I did not mean to..." Nodoka, Hinako, and Kasumi all quickly averted their eyes.

"Shampoo do!" Not even trying to hide her gaze, she openly gawked making Ranma feel even more uncomfortable, almost like prey.

"Now, if you children will take your seats."

Not missing a beat, Shampoo grabbed Ranma and Kasumi's hands, and pulled them over to the futon. Sitting down with one of them on either side of her, she intertwined an arm around each of them, pulling them in close.

"Now that you are aware of most of the organs, and what they are called, do any of you have any questions?"

"What's th' point a' this? What's this supposed ta do?"

"Make Ranma into mens."

"This can make me a MAN?" Seeing everyone nod, made him wonder something else. "Then why're th' rest a' ya here?"

"All want help Ranma."

Touched by the looks he was receiving, Ranma almost choked up. "Hey, thanks ya guys, that means a lot." 'Never gonna be a girl again, never gonna be a girl again!' "What do I gotta do?"

The look on his face made Kasumi wonder if he did not have the wrong idea, but she was far too embarrassed to say anything on the subject. She was not even certain what she was doing there, while it was true that she wanted to help Ranma, what could she even do that would help in this situation? The old adage about 'too many cooks spoiling the broth' seemed to fit here in her opinion.

Nodoka had looked thoughtful for a moment, before speaking. "I had assumed you could just follow your instincts, however that seems to have been a pipe dream. While I do not doubt your instincts over all, you seem to have a block preventing you from following through as any typical male would, and part of what we are doing is to determine why that is the case. Was it your father, the curse, do you prefer boys to girls...?"

"I don't get what ya mean, fer what?"

Nodoka took a moment to examine the fine workmanship of the wooden floor as her face became closely acquainted with it.

"See? Shampoo try too too hard! Grandmother say 'is no try, only do', but no know what wrong!"

Picking herself off of the floor, Nodoka looked into her son's eyes, honestly wondering if he was making fun of them, but seeing only confusion staring back at her, she sighed. "For SEX!"

Ranma smiled as something suddenly clicked. "Hey, that's that thing that Hinako-sensei was gonna show me how ta do!"

Most of the room could not believe their ears as they glanced back and forth between the boy and his teacher. While grateful to the instructor for her part in 'freeing' Ranma from the engagement with Akane and encouraging him to go on dates with them, there was something about the woman that had always bothered the young warrior, and this turn of events did not endear her any further. Nodoka was pleased to see the other woman taking some initiative, even if she had kept is a secret. Kasumi could not believe how bold Ranma had gotten, was he starting to live up to his reputation as a ladies' man? Images of the two of them in various positions ran though her mind, causing hot flashes, and making her feel a bit light headed. Ukyo readied her weapon as she got ready to attack ...Tsubasa, who was masquerading as her sign again, and feeling as though she had missed something important.

"No, I didn't ...I mean I DID, but not like that..." Hinako looked around nervously, glad that she had remembered to button up her shirt, still being topless would not have helped her case.

"Oh, come on! New moves I can use ta fight girls, without hurtin' 'em, AN' a cure ta boot? How can this get any better? Wait, why ya so mad?"

Still focused on the thought of Ranma sleeping with Hinako, she barely noticed that Ranma had spoken. "No! Shampoo want first time with Ranma! Is wife first, is only fair!"

'Did that girl say 'first wife'?' Nodoka considered that, she could have been talking about divorce, but perhaps the laws were different in China... Traditional Japanese society did not used to discourage mistresses either, it was only in recent days that it had changed, and she was always rather old-fashioned at heart anyway. Perhaps she had more options for grandchildren than she first thought! Research needed to be done! She could always ask Cologne the next time she was over for tea...

Watching Nodoka suddenly run from the room, mumbling something about needing to make a phone call, Hinako figured it was up to her to continue the 'class'. "Okay students, where were we?"

"Stupid teacher say want take Ranma first time, when no have right!" Shampoo started to jump to her feet.

"Wait! But ...I didn't!" Hinako backed up, waving her hands in front of herself.

"First time doing what?"

Completely ignoring Ranma, Shampoo focused her outrage on her target. "Did! Even say again! Want teach make babies!"

"Huh? Babies?" Used to being ignored, Ranma just watched the exchange, trying to figure out what they were talking about, and what it had to do with him.

"I did not mean it like that!"

"Then what mean?" Backing off a few steps, Shampoo seemed to relax slightly.

"THIS! I meant this, class, books, charts, and more!" Quickly, she started pulling out the tools as she mentioned them.

"Aiyaaaa... Why no say so? Then is okay, just no forgetting, Shampoo is one what get first time! Yes?" The lithe young woman returned to her seat between the other two youngsters in one swift motion.

"That is not up to me, but let us continue. Do we have any questions before we start?"

"Why want scare Shampoo? Attack Shampoo heart!"

"...Any questions about the subject?"

"Just one."

"Yes, Saotome-kun?"

"Just what the heck are ya both talkin' about, an' how's it supposed ta make me a man?"

"That's two questions, but we are talking about your first question, the one from this morning."

"But," lowering his voice to a whisper, not that it prevented Shampoo from hearing him. "...that was supposed ta be a secret!"

"You DID say it first."

"But, then ...the class?" If she had not already told, then how did they get into these instructions in the first place? Before his thought had even been formed, the beauty beside him once again bounced to her feet.

"So WAS try steal Shampoo precious first time with Ranma!"

"NO! I told you, it's not like that!" She turned back toward Ranma looking for help.

Ranma chuckled at the idea of someone else being the target of the typical misunderstandings he faced almost daily. "Now ya know how I feel..."

She was taken aback by his reaction, she had expected him to back her up, considering it had been his idea. "What do you mean?"

"No one ever listens ta me when I say that neither..."

Kasumi had barely started to become fully aware of her surroundings when she heard Ranma's assertion, and could not believe what she had heard. "How can you say that, Ranma-kun?"

"Ain't it obvious?"

"I would not ask if it was."

"It don't matter what I do, er what I say, even if I ain't th' one ta blame, everyone always wants ta hit me fer it! Ya tellin' me ya ain't seen it? Yer sister's the worst one."

"Well, I always knew that Akane-chan was ...spirited, but-..."

"She just don't wanna see th' truth if it's about me, not if it don't make me look bad anyway."

"Is true, Violent-Girl is always make up lie about Airen, then hit. Is jealous everyone, even Pancake-girl, is how say ...'insecure'?"

Hinako thought about that, it might explain a few things. "Maybe I could suggest counseling..."

"Oh my... I knew things were bad, but I did not think... And you say this is not isolated?"

"Ain't even close! It don't really matter who it is, nobody ever believes me, no matter what I do, they don't 'trust' me."

"I trust you, Ranma-kun." Kasumi tried to convey everything she felt in her gaze.

"Shampoo too!"

"Not really, I mean, when Akane and I was fightin', ya always made me be th' one ta apologize, even when I didn't do nothin', an' if any other girl is involved, ya don't usually believe me much either..." Ranma turned to face each of them as he addressed them.

"Trust Ranma, is other girl Shampoo no trust."

"Well, I guess that's true, ya almost never hit me like th' others... Just that bike thing, and ya ain't done that since we talked about it last time."

"Shampoo say, attack is normal way get attention between warriors in village, less Ranma ignore Shampoo, promise more enjoy greeting..."

"Shampoo-chan, you also need to remember that public displays of affection are generally frowned upon in Japan." Kasumi tried to give the young woman a stern glance but melted in the wake of her cute smile.

"Some no mind, is too too nice way say 'hello'... Yes?" Shampoo winked at them in response.

"But, most of us find them ...embarrassing." Kasumi blushed as she looked away.

"Is okay, no need feel ashame for feel good, but never want do in private either. Why Ranma embarrass then?"

"I don't know, it just is." Ranma's motion mimicked Kasumi's almost exactly as he shied away from the others.

"It no feel icky, yes?"

"Well, it does feel ...sorta weird."

Kasumi remembered something, and while it was still a bit awkward, she had to ask. "Ranma-kun, what about kissing boys, which did you prefer? Did one feel worse than the other?"

"Airen kiss BOY?" Shampoo jumped back, shocked to her core.

"NO! I didn't! I mean, that wasn't my fault!"

"WHAT? When this happen?" Hinako had to admit, she was curious.

"Oh my, I believe it was right before you arrived, that young man at the skating rink, was it not?"

Ranma fumed, and muttered under his breath as the long repressed memory resurfaced, almost sick to his stomach. "Should a' killed that bastard!"

We thought that was your first kiss, but I suppose we were mistaken on that note at least..." Kasumi glanced over at Shampoo and thinking back to what she remembered about the story she had heard in regards to their first meeting. "Did you like one more than the other, or did they feel the same type of 'icky'?"

"Eeeew, no, it was way worse!"

"So you prefer kissing girls then?" The relief was clear in her voice, she did not even realize that she had been worried.

"Urk, don't say it like that! I don't know, it's weird, but it just ain't gross like that, ya know?"

"No, I cannot say that I do." Kasumi's mind drifted back to kissing both Ranma and Shampoo, neither of which was even remotely 'icky' in her opinions.

"What? You mean, you have never...?" Hinako was surprised that a young woman who was that sweet, skilled, and stunning had never kissed a boy in her life!

Kasumi blushed and shook her head, too embarrassed to form words.

"Wait, Shampoo remember say before kissy Ranma!"

The memories of repeatedly thanking her savior flooded her mind, along with the feelings they represented. "No, I did not mean that, just that it was not 'weird' or 'gross' in any way, in fact, it was quite pleasant ...with both of you." Her cheeks burned even hotter from blurting out what she had.

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Cologne had been surprised by the timing of the phone call, though not near as much as by the question she had been asked... "It is not as if we necessarily 'forbid' it, if that is what you mean. However, in the village, the situation and council tend to have a say in the matter." She did not like to lie, but she was far from being above it when she felt it would help her situation. "How about we discuss what you have in mind over tea later?"

Once Nodoka had agreed, she hung up the phone, and tried to figure out the best ways to work this new development to her advantage...

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Her mood improved by this new information, Nodoka strolled back toward the study with a spring in her gait. Her chances at grandchildren were looking up every day! As she neared the room, she heard the sing-song voice coming from within.

"If no is sure, should kiss Shampoo like mean! Only way know if like, is do."

"That does make sense, but is that really a fair test?" Kasumi shrunk back at the hurt glare she received from her friend in response.

Nodoka chose that moment to enter the room, and regain control of the situation. "It will be much more fair if Ranma kisses all three of you, do you not agree?"

"No, I do-..." The look Hinako received from Nodoka silenced her attempted protest.

"Oh my..."

Shampoo was not happy about Ranma kissing his 'teacher', she had never really liked the women, and had even given her the 'kiss of death' soon after her arrival. She had thought the other woman had been after her Ranma, and that was something to which she would not tolerate! It had nothing at all to do with the fact that she was one of the only women in the area who had a figure that even she envied, no! That was not it at all...

On the other hand, it meant that she would finally get to kiss Ranma again, and he would be awake and not be able to run away. Sliding his arm between her breasts, she slid up to his side, getting very close, and whispering into his ear, while nibbling on his earlobe. "No is 'in public' now, so no should run way... Tell Shampoo how much lovey kiss-kiss."

"Yatta!" With a paper fan in each hand, Nodoka danced, celebrating their quick progress.

Kasumi covered her mouth in surprise at her friend's boldness, and without thinking, slid around to get a better viewing angle.

Much like a deer caught in the headlights of a car on the freeway, Ranma found himself unable to move, held tightly within the mountainous cleavage. The unbelievable softness of her body and lips caused all cohesive thought to fall away. He felt as though he were floating on a very strange cloud, and it made him quite queasy. He had never really experienced vertigo before, being quite comfortable in the air, but this was exactly how he would imagine it felt.

Hinako looked on with a tantalizing apprehension, wondering what it would be like to be in the young girl's slippers, and then shook her head to try to clear the image. She should try to take her role as his teacher more seriously! A small voice in the back of her mind tried to ask of her if that did not mean she should get in here and give him some proper kissing lessons, but she mentally screamed at it that she was not listening until it went away. Gazing more intensely at the pair, she realized that even once Shampoo had moved from his ear to his lips, he was still barely responding in any way. "Saotome-kun, you look distracted, you need to concentrate on your partner. So far, you are getting a failing grade." The grateful moan from Shampoo was not exactly what she wanted to hear, but that did not change the fact that it needed to be said.

Nodoka's eyebrow went up as she gazed into the facade of the almost lecherous lecturer. She was doing well maintaining her image as a compassionate councilor, although Nodoka's trained eye could see right though her veneer. She took note of the way in which she was fidgeting, her irregular breathing, the way her toes were obviously curling inside of her slippers, as well as following her gaze, and it was clear to her that she was eager to take her turn.

Even after being prompted, Ranma barely managed to respond, and at lest one person was felt there was room for improvement... Speaking between kisses, she issued her challenge. "What is matter Ranma? ...No is man enough handle Shampoo?"

"Yes son, it is rude to keep a lady waiting..." While all attention was focused on Ranma, Nodoka started to carefully unhook a few buttons without anyone noticing.

Ranma was having a difficult time trying to focus through the soft embrace combined with the butterflies in his belly, and he almost felt as if he was going to get sick. Luckily for Shampoo, his cast-iron stomach managed to hold firm. With the prompting of the others, he tried to concentrate on what Shampoo was doing, and copy it, but he was too embarrassed to be able to pay close attention, and his lack of response showed it.

Seeing the lack of performance on his part, Nodoka thought it was time to change things up a bit. "Shampoo, darling, I believe you have done enough for now."

"But, Shampoo no is-..."

"Do not fret, we are not done for today, and you can always practice outside of class."

"But, what do then?" Not wanting to let go, she clung to his arm, still rubbing against him.

"It is time we switch it up. Sensei, why not take your turn next?"

"Oh, no, I shouldn't..."

"You said you wanted to teach, teach!" Pushing Hinako forward, she pulled back on her dress, causing it to fall away due to her previous 'sabotage'.

Not yet realizing that she was now wearing only her slippers, Hinako stumbled over a sitting Kasumi and fell into Ranma's lap, her arms wrapping around his chest, and her breast landing in his hand. "Ooof..."

Taking this as a challenge, Shampoo also stripped, and not wanting to be outdone, she left nothing on. "No beat Shampoo."

"Oh my..." Kasumi's eyes opened wide, unable to believe what she was seeing.

Ranma could not believe how quickly thing were happening, and waned to go into shock, but then he remembered something. "Oh, is this how that special 'wrestling' supposed ta work?"

"Only kind 'wrestling' do like that, Shampoo is one what teach!"

"I am glad you are all so eager, but we are not ready for the live demonstrations quite yet, for now, we are only practicing making out. You are off to a good start, now move your hand. ...No, do not remove it, gently massage that breast."

"What? Wait, how?" Ranma froze, only slowly following his instructions after a few moments' hesitation.

"What is 'make out'? Aiyaaa!" Shampoo could not believe that Ranma was starting to react.

Ranma did his best to think about it as being similar to when he was hitting her pressure points, without actually hitting them, and doing his best to ignore the circumstances of the situation. It had been hard enough then, and she had been dressed at the time! Though, for some reason, this time she was not resisting in any way, and that confused him even further.

Still confused as to where her dress had gone, Hinako found herself unable to discourage him, the tingling that spread throughout her body prevented much in the way of coherent thought. She did not want to indulge this delinquent activity, if he was going to do something like this, he should be with one of his girlfriends, not his teacher! On the other hand, she also did not want to frighten him off when he was just starting to come out of his shell either...

"Play with Shampoo too!" Placing Ranma's free hand on her own breast, she desperately pleaded with him.

Nodoka smiled as he slowly complied with the young woman's entreaty. "Good ...now start kissing already."

Ranma found it odd to feel their nipples harden under his fingers, but did not have time to wonder what it meant as Nodoka pushed them even closer together and their lips touched. The knots in his guts tightened, and it felt as if fireworks were exploding inside of his head and ...other places.

"Much better, but you need to open your mouth more ...and use your tongue."

"And touch Shampoo more."

"Yes, and touch Shampoo more... I, I mean 'caress your girlfriends'."

"Yes, feel up more, is too too nice, yes?" Shampoo cooed into his ear, and nibbled on his earlobe.

Ranma was not exactly comfortable with that, it reminded it far too much of something Happosai or Tatewaki would do for his liking, but there was ...something about it that kept him from stopping. "What's this gotta do with 'wrestling'?"

"I believe it is called 'tongue wrestling'." Looking around, Kasumi saw the looks she was getting, and blinked twice. "...Oh my, am I mistaken?"

"Oh no my dear, I do believe that is the correct term. Pay attention, hopefully you can learn something, Sensei seems to know a thing or two."

Hinako was not certain she liked what that comment might have been implying, but she was not in any position to protest with her mouth and hands full. She was not even certain how she had gotten into this situation in the first place ...even if his hands did feel VERY good as they caressed her delicate flesh.

The longer this went on, the more uneasy Ranma felt, and he could not for the life of him figure out why they were doing it! His insides crashed into each other, like foaming waves, bubbling and smashing against the shore. He felt almost as bad as when recovering from one of Akane's meals! The more he thought about it, the less he could concentrate on what he was doing, not that he was fully aware of that fact.

Hinako had noticed Ranma's hand slowing down, and he had yet to really start kissing her back. While she was reluctant to be doing this to begin with, if she was here already, she wanted to instruct him to the best of her ability. "Saotome-kun, when you are kissing someone, they want to know that they are the only thing on your mind, it is not good to get distracted and ignore them. You need to FOCUS only on me now..."

"No forget Shampoo too!" She continued to rub against him, as if she were trying to get her scent on him.

Nodoka smiled at their cooperation. "That is a good point, a true man-among-men can manage to keep several women happy at a time if need be, but it will not do if you allow yourself to get distracted. If you cannot handle two, then what will you do when we add another?"

"Huh?" Ranma faltered for a moment, uncertain if he heard that correctly.

"Kasumi-chan, how about you go a head and take your turn now as well?"

"Oh my, but-..."

"No dear, not your butt ...yet, this will just be kissing."

Not exactly sure what that meant, Kasumi decided that it would probably not be so bad, it was not as if she had not kissed him before, and she DID want to help him after all. Hesitantly, she scooted forward, sliding up to Ranma's free side, and kissed him on the cheek.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"-ma-kun? Ranma-kun, are you all right?" Kasumi's voice slowly filtered through the fuzziness in his head.

Ranma awoke to the feeling of someone lightly slapping his face. "Ack! I'm up! What's so important?"

"Ranma! Is back now, yes?"

"Did you have a nice nap, Ranma-kun?" Kasumi's brilliant smile shined down upon the sleepy martial artist.

"Huh? What happened?"

"You suddenly seemed rather tense, Saotome-kun, was something wrong? Is there something you would like to talk with us about?" Hinako had been concerned about how he had stiffened up as Kasumi had gotten closer.

"Ranma, passing out from a kiss was not very manly." Nodoka's stern glare was almost as cold as Kasumi's smile had been warm.

"Hrumph! Shampoo kissing no is good enough?" Crossing her arms under her still bare breasts, she lightly stomped her foot in a huff.

Kasumi considered what she had witnessed, and what it could have meant. What was most poignant to her was how he flinched when Shampoo had stamped her foot, as if she were about to attack him. Why would he be concerned about that? Did he not know that none of them would ever hurt him?

"Okay girls, it is time for you to leave us for a short time, I need to speak with my son ...in private." After the door closed behind them, she turned back and added, "I meant it, no eavesdropping, go make some tea or something."

Ranma looked a bit more puzzled than usual at the clamoring that came from the hallway as his mother turned back to face him.

"Ranma ...Son, be honest, what do you think about this? Do not hold anything back."

"I got no idea what's going on... It's so weird, ya guys all say it's right, but it feels wrong, I just don't know what I'm supposed ta do!"

"Okay then, let us start with last night, you seemed to take delight in our lesson then, what did you think about that?"

"Honestly, I don't know, I tried ta think about it but it don't make no sense. It seemed like somethin' I shouldn't be doin', an' it made me feel weird, but I guess I didn't ...hate it er nuthin'... Am I really a pervert?"

"No Son, you are not. It is perfectly normal to enjoy pleasing your partners. It would be stranger if you did not."

"But, then why does everyone call me that, and what about people like Happosai?"

Remembering stories about the shrunken master, she tried to explain the differences. "While that person might have some manly traits, we have two major points that classify someone like that as a 'pervert', that do not apply to you, or at least I hope they do not. The first is that when you do something like this with someone who is unwilling, then it is not manly, it is assault. The second, which is truly just an extension of the first, and that is stealing, taking something that you are not willingly given, is far less than manly."

Thinking back on his life on the road with his father, Ranma found himself unable to argue that point. "Then, how come, no matter what I do, people like Akane're always sayin' I am?"

"Well, I cannot say for certain, possibly your friend believes that no woman would ever be willing, and so any advances would be considered a violation of them. However, without knowing them well, I could not say." Nodoka closed her eyes for a moment, letting out a soft sigh.

"Huh? What'd ya mean?" Ranma looked up from he floor, seeing the somber expression on his mother's face.

"Do not worry, all that matters is that you do not need to let other people's personal problems ruin your life. There are people in this world that have internal demons that prevent them from being happy on their own, their entire self image is centered upon belittling others. Winning is nice, but a real man does not need to gloat or belittle others to feel good about themselves. Would you not agree with me?"

"Urk..." He had to admit, when it came to being 'manly', his father was likely a terrible example, but if there was one thing the man knew, it was fighting, and that was a part of their style. Was their family's style 'unmanly'? All things considered, it was a possibility there were elements of it, but it was a strategy for dealing with a strong foe, a furious opponent was more likely to make mistakes. While it could be true that perhaps he might overuse it when he was in a hurry, but it was just such a pain to be attacked when he was busy. Maybe it would be better if he tried not to rely on it as often... "Um, sure, yeah, I guess so..."

"Good I would hate to see my son become a bully!"

"Huh? 'Bully'? No! It's a Martial artist's duty ta 'protect' th' weak!" He straightened up as he defended his stance.

"That is good, but a strong person can be bullied as well."

Hearing that, his regained confidence was cracked, and he sat back down, uncertain as to how he should proceed. "What? How'd ya mean?"

"Son, anyone can be bullied ...if they do not stand up for themselves."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Seeing that Kasumi was lost in thought while in the process of making tea, Hinako and Shampoo sat in an uncomfortable silence, both a bit embarrassed that they forgot to grab their clothing before they had been driven out of the room. Hinako was trying to figure out how things had gone so horribly wrong, and missed shrinking as well as the glares she occasionally received from the youngest member of their trio.

Hinako had been pulled out of her introspection by the sound of the tea kettle boiling, and looked up to see Kasumi looking off into space. Both her and Shampoo jumped up, and tried to grab it, but ran into each other in the process. Her speed, combined with hitting a more padded object, allowed her to remain upright, and she turned off the stove just in time to hear Nodoka call them back to the study.

"Aiyaaa! Why no look where going?"

No longer caring about the tea, little Hinako stuck out her tongue, and raced out of the room, with only one thing on her mind.

"Wait for Shampoo! No let beat so easy!"

Hinako entered the room and her body started to tingle as she ran over and threw her arms around Ranma's neck. "ONII-CHAN!"

"Hinako-sensei, what're ya doin'-mmmm?" His voice was cut off as his teacher filled out in his arms, and planted another kiss on his lips.

Seeing a fully nude, and fully adult Hinako embracing her Ranma, her jealousy flared to life. "What teacher think is doing?"

Breaking the kiss, she held Ranma's face still. "Teaching. Do you not want Saotome-kun here to improve?"

"Shampoo want be one teach!" Shampoo's skin rippled as she stomped closer.

"That is all right, leave teaching to the teachers, just sit back and take notes like a good student." Hinako had no idea what had come over her, but was finding it difficult to stop, even once Shampoo had started clinging to his back and kissing the back of his neck.

"Shampoo is 'hands on', learn more fast by do."

Nodoka looked on with mild amusement. "Any good instructor can handle a student with special needs..."

Sandwiched between the pair, Ranma was filled with confusion and a hint of fear, while his brain threatened to shutdown in self-defense. He wanted to protest, but could not speak with his mouth full.

"Oh my!" It was only through years of growing accustom to the strangeness that was Nerima, that prevented Kasumi from dropping her favorite tea set as she saw what awaited her as she entered the room. Her instincts screamed at her, telling her that something was wrong, and she was starting to think she might understand what that might be.

Looking up toward the newcomer, Nodoka smiled. "Unless you would like another go, why not have some tea before we continue the lesson?"

"But promise Shampoo, get round number two!"

"Yes, yes dear, there will be plenty of time for that soon."

"...Yes mother." Pouring Nodoka a cup, she kept her gaze as low as her voice.

Accepting the tea, the Saotome matriarch leaned closer to the young homemaker. "What was that, my dear? I did not hear you."

"I am so sorry, I said, 'yes mother'."

Raising an eyebrow, Nodoka grinned broadly. "'Yes' ...what?"

"I would like to try kissing Ranma-kun."

"OH! Well, why did you not say so in the first place?"

Shampoo wanted to be jealous, but unlike Hinako, Kasumi had barely given him a peck on the cheek, while she had gotten a very long one herself, so she just did not have it In her. "Shampoo hold Ranma, Onee-chan take kiss."

After waiting for a reluctant Hinako to step out of the way before quickly covering herself, Kasumi slowly walked over and stood a couple of paces away from him. Looking him in the eye, she calmly spoke in her best reassuring tone. "Ranma-kun?" She waited for him to nod before she proceeded. "Would it be all right with you, if I gave you a small," Her face went flush with embarrassment as she pictured what we was about to ask. "...kiss?"

Ranma blinked twice, finding it difficult to believe what he had heard. He was still not comfortable with any of this, but he found himself unable to refuse the kind young woman anything, and slowly nodded.

Kasumi watched Ranma tense as she cautiously stepped forward, resting her hand upon his shoulder. "It is going to be okay, Ranma-kun, there is nothing to worry about..."

"I ain't worried 'bout nuthin'!"

"I understand. Now, please, if you would, close your eyes." Once he had complied, and Kasumi had calmed herself, she leaded in closely as her lips gently brushed his cheek. Feeling his muscles go rigid only confirmed her suspicions, and gave her food for thought. "Thank you for baring with me, I am sorry my request was so strange."

His hand instinctively going to the back of his neck, he began to rub. "No, don't be, that was the least strange thing that's happened ta me all day!"

Ranma's nervous laughter almost reminded Shampoo of Ryoga...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

After her long day, Ukyo was looking forward to a long soak in a hot tub to ease her sore body, glad to no longer have to use the public baths. However, before she could get to the changing room, she heard voices coming from the library and could not help but listen at the door.

"Ranma-kun seems to be suffering from bad reactions when people are affectionate, and I am afraid my youngest sister might be at least partly responsible." Kasumi's voice was low, but full of compassion.

Hearing that they were talking about her Ranma, she felt the need to crack the door and peek. Inside the room she saw Kasumi talking to Nodoka, along with Shampoo and Hinako sitting near them.

"What mean, who no like lovings and feel goods?"

"Yes, my dear, I am not certain that I completely understand myself."

"Have you heard of a man named Pavlov?"

"You mean, the scientist who studied conditioned reflex, correct?" Hinako remembered reading about the Russian man's work.

"Yes, exactly." Kasumi seemed to relax, having someone who could help her if she got anything wrong.

'Leave it ta a teacher ta know what Tendo meant.' Ukyo shook her head, before focusing her attention back into the room.

"What mean?" At least Shampoo looked just as clueless as she had been.

"Well, what I think, is that Ranma-kun has become conditioned to expect threats and verbal or physical violence in response to being shown affection, Akane-chan is really a sweet girl, but can be a bit of a ...violent maniac." Kasumi let out a regretful sigh.

The memory of slapping Ranma silly every time he called her cute, or tried to get her to open up emotionally, forced its way into Ukyo's mind, no matter how much she resisted the memories, and the guilt over the part she might have played started to hit home.

"Aiyaaaaa... Mean like say kiss, then chase and say, try kill?" The guilt was written plainly all over her rival's face, relieving some of her own remorse.

Kasumi's eyes widened, wondering what the other girl meant. "Um, yes, I suppose that would qualify."

"Then Shampoo think maybe is part to blame too..."

"What do you mean?"

"Shampoo tell story of Kiss of Death, yes?"

"Oh? Oh. ...Oooooooooh." Kasumi gasped as the realization hit home.

Hinako glared at the younger girl. "You gave me one of those too, if I remember correctly..."

Nodoka stepped in before any argument could start. "But you two made up since then, did you not, and what is this about your sister?"

Kasumi was embarrassed to admit her family had a hand in harming him, as well as her own part in pushing them together while ignoring the signs, but before she could speak, Shampoo beat her to it. "Ever since learn Ranma is really too too sexy mens and Shampoo want marry no kill, when try make nice with husband, Violent-One hit, or worst."

"Worse?" Nodoka almost stepped back when she saw Hinako nodding grimly.

"Violent Pervert-Girl jealous of Ranma, jealous of Shampoo and other fighters what better and more pretty, always take out angry on Airen. Hit, kick, poison, no thing too too mean do, even only when Shampoo go say greeting!"

"Well, your greeting IS a tight embrace..." Kasumi tried to soften the heat directed toward her sister, but could say little in her defense.

"Is any reason be violence? Is reason blame Ranma?" When Shampoo's heated gaze fell on the eldest Tendo sister, Ukyo saw her shake her head.

Nodoka was surprised anyone had let such a thing go on for as long as it had. "It does seem rather ...excessive. Does it not?"

"I have tried admonishing Akane-chan on a number of occasions, even extracting a promise to never lash out at anyone in anger, but it never seems to last for more than a week..." Kasumi prostrated herself before the older woman, tears in her eyes. "I am truly sorry for my family's part in this, and I take full responsibility for our actions, as the eldest, I should have done more to stop this! Is there anything I may do that would help atone for this in your eyes? If you wish, I will even serve as your family's maid for the rest of my life if you feel it will do!"

Considering what the woman had expected of her son and husband if they had disappointed her, Hinako was concerned as to what the older woman might try to demand of them.

Nodoka and Shampoo were both taken aback by the intensity and implications of her words, but the matriarch shook her head. "I am not the one who could make that decision..."

"No offense, but your husband is about as much to blame as my family, so I would rather work for you, but if you insist..."

Startled, Nodoka's voice cracked as she hastily replied. "I meant my son! If you wish you make this up to anyone, then that is to whom you must speak."

Kasumi's did not look up, but Ukyo could tell her voice seemed even sadder than it had been before. "But Ranma-kun would never accept-..."

"Then I believe you have your answer, my dear."

"But-..."

"If you are all so focused on 'butts', then perhaps I need to adjust your training..."

Finally glancing up from the floor, Kasumi looked at the older woman questioningly. "What did you say, Mother?"

Shampoo cocked an eyebrow at the word 'training', Nodoka had mentioned this on more than one occasion, and she briefly wondering if it had anything to do with how she kept ending up restrained and if she could join them, but she was far too focused on what she could do to make up for her part in Ranma's 'conditioning' to inquire about it at the time, so she filed it into the back of her mind for later.

Ukyo slowly closed the door, and slowly continued her journey to the changing room, considering what she saw, and what that meant for her. Kasumi's declaration had her very worried, having a maid might be fun, but what were the odds that it would not progress beyond that? She had heard many stories from her friends at school about what men wanted to do with their maids, and she did not like it one bit!

As she readied herself for her bath, the image of Ranma and Kasumi-the-maid would not leave her mind. She needed to make sure that NEVER happened! Lost in her nightmarish fantasy, Ukyo entered the furo, hung her towel on the hook, and walked over to the shower, almost stumbling into a male Ranma, who had his hands on his groin! "Ranchan! What're ya doin' ...with that WOMAN?" Without thinking, her arm flew back as if to slap his cheek, with the image of him and the 'maid' still firmly in place.

Visions of another tomboy flashed through his mind as he recoiled in surprise. "What? I ain't doin' nuthin' with nobody! I was jus' takin' a bath!"

The previous conversation quickly replayed in her head, staying her hand, and causing her face to drop as she realized that she really was partly at fault as well. "Kuso!" Quickly lowering her hand, she squatted next to him, do her best to conceal her body. "Ah'm sorry Ranchan, Ah didn't mean it! Ah'm SO sorry!"

"Yeah, whatever. It ain't like nobody ever listens ta me no way. I'm done so, here ya go." Handing Ukyo the shower head, he turned to leave the room, not even bothering to soak in the piping hot tub. "G'night, Ukyo."

'UKYO? What happened ta 'UCCHAN'?' "NO! Wait! Ranchan! ...Come back ...please?" She stopped crawling across the tiled floor as Ranma quickly finished dressing and exited the changing room.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Walking into the kitchen, Kasumi could see the dark aura hanging over Ranma's head as his hands were a blur of motion. "Good evening Ranma-kun, what are you making there?"

"Oh, hey Kasumi-san. Just a stir-fry, needed a snack... Ya like some too?"

"I would love some of your cooking Ranma-kun, thank you very much." Kasumi smiled, hoping to brighten his mood.

"Yer th' one that buys th' food, I should be thankin' ya."

"Oh it is no problem. You do not know how much joy it brings me to see you learning new things like this, and I always love what you make!"

"Aw, it's nothin' compared ta yer food though..." Ranma's aura lightened as his nervous chuckle echoed around the reverberant room.

"Oh no, that's not true at all! I only wish I could do half that well when I was in my first few years of cooking. You have learned so much more quickly than I ever did, I am certain you could be a world class chef if you so desired."

"Aaaw, Kasumi-san, that ain't true..." Ranma's hands stopped moving as he subconsciously rubbed the back of his neck.

"Of course it is, you are such a quick learner, I am positive that you can do anything that interests you! Though, you should wash your hands again now... "

Ranma blushed as he did so, not comfortable with complements about anything other than his art.

"Is there anything I can do to help you?" Kasumi started to stand, hopeful to be of assistance.

Reminded of his cooking, Ranma quickly turned back to make sure he was not burning anything. "Oh, uh, naw, I got it, there's already plenty."

Unaccustomed to being served, Kasumi fidgeted as she patiently waited for Ranma to finish, and bring her a plate. They both enthusiastically said, "Itadakimasu!" as they dug into the 'light' meal.

"Mmmm. Oh my, Ranma-kun, you have outdone yourself, this is excellently prepared."

"Oh no, I'm sure yers'd be much better." Ranma blushed again, nervously twirling his chopsticks.

As they enjoyed their meal, Kasumi decided she had to pry, despite part of her brain telling her that it was rude. "Ranma-kun, are you doing all right? Is there anything you would like to talk about?"

"Not really..." Ranma instantly closed himself off, no longer looking her direction.

"Is that 'not really' anything wrong, or 'not really' anything you want to talk about?"

"Both."

"It can't be both..."

Sighing, Ranma turned an exhausted look toward her. "Everything is the same as always, an' I don't wanna talk about it."

Kasumi wanted to reassure him, and gave him the warmest smile she could. "Okay then, you do not have to talk about it if you do not wish, I do not want to force you to do anything."

"Ya'd be th' first."

Remembering how she used to 'encourage' him to apologize to Akane when she had not allowed herself to be aware of the real cause of the problems, never realizing that he was not the entire cause, simply because things had not been that way before he had arrived. He had been such a polite young person the day he and his father had arrived too. If only she had not allowed her household to get so out of hand like that... "I'm sorry, Ranma-kun."

Ranma had to strain to hear her words, and even then he was not certain that he had heard them correctly. "Huh? What fer?"

"For everything." This time it was Kasumi who could not meet his gaze.

"What'd ya mean?"

"I want you to know, that you can come to me, for anything, at any time. No matter what happens, I will always be here to help you."

"Well, thank ya, I guess, but ya ain't really makin' no sense her, Kasumi-san... 'S there somethin' goin' on I don't know about?"

"Not really, it is just that I want you to know that it is okay for you to be happy."

Ranma cocked an eyebrow, looking up from his empty plate. "Yer confusin' me, Kasumi-san... I don't know what ya mean."

Kasumi knew this would not be the easiest conversation, not only was it a difficult topic for her to broach, she was the far from an expert on certain aspects of the matter herself, and her guilt just made it worse. Seeing that he had already cleaned his plate, she decided to take a different approach. "Ranma-kun, would you please stand over here?"

"Uh, sure?" Ranma followed the simple directions.

"Now close your eyes, if you would please."

"Um, okay..." Nervously, he did as instructed, uncertainty written all over his face.

Kasumi stood in front of the lad, steeled her nerves, steadied her breathing, as she studied his handsome young face for a moment before taking him in her arms, holding his head against her chest, despite him tensing up at the action. "What I mean is, that this is okay. My sister, and the others, were very wrong for hitting you so often. It was not your fault. You do not have to worry, there is nothing wrong with showing affection to the people you love." She could feel his resistance, but did not let go of him.

Ranma could not relax, this made him feel very 'strange', and he had no idea how he was supposed to react. "Uuuuuh..."

"Calm yourself Ranma-kun, just listen to my heartbeat, and breathe easy." She tried to hum a pleasant tune.

"It's beatin' like a drum! Doki! Doki! Doki!"

Kasumi's face flushed with embarrassment. "Oh my! Um, well, try to forget about that, just calm down, everything it going to be okay..." She was talking almost more for her own benefit than she was for Ranma's. "We are going to stay like this until we can both compose ourselves. Okay?" Feeling Ranma nod against her chest, she tried to remember what is was like comforting her sisters when they were younger, as opposed to a strapping young man, and tried to focus her aura as he had taught her, allowing tranquility to permeate everything around them. While she could visualize it exactly the way Ranma had explained to her, it did not seem to be working the way she had hoped, but she did not give up! "Now, put your arms around me as well."

"I jus' don't get it, why're ya doin' this?"

"This is what people do, when they feel their friends or family are feeling down, or if they are very happy!"

"Mmmm, okay... So, which is this, are ya upset, Kasumi-san? Who hurt ya? Do I need ta beat someone up?"

"Oh no, no, no... It is you."

"What did I do? I'm sorry!" Once again, Ranma stiffed in shock.

"No, no, Ranma-kun, YOU are the one hurting, and as your friend, I hurt for you. I want you to be happy."

"I ain't hurtin', ain't even been in a fight all week! ...I kind a' wish I had, it's way easier than this stuff."

"Not that kind of hurt, Ranma-kun, the emotional kind. Please, tell me how you feel, emotionally."

"Is 'confused' an emotion?"

"And what has you confused, Ranma-kun?"

"Why yer doin' this..."

"Why do you think I am doing it?"

"I don't know, ya been hangin' 'round Shampoo too much lately, maybe?"

"No! ...Well perhaps, but ...that is not it. I-... Ranma-kun, the way you have been treated ...it is just not normal!" Her imploring voice reached out to him, trying to get through to show the empathy he needed in his life.

"Ya think I don't know that? My life's messed up, weird stuff happens ta me all th' time, stuff that don't happen ta nobody else I know, but that ain't news, and what's it gotta do what this?"

Kasumi found herself in a difficult spot, she did not wish to be too blunt, and scare him off, but the boy did not take subtlety well... "What I mean is that it is not normal for people to hit each other just because they are upset."

"It ain't?" The incredulity in his voice hit her like a brick.

"No! Most people talk to each other, discuss the issue, and try to work it out between them."

"Huh. Must be nice... Nobody EVER listens ta me when I try ta explain."

"I know, you said that earlier, and for that I ...am 'truly' sorry. I am as much to blame for that as anyone else. I cannot ask you to forgive me, but I wish to help you in any way I can."

"Ya already helped me a lot! I don't know what yer worried about. Ya've helped me every day."

"And I am grateful that you allow me to-..."

"Yer th' one lettin' me stay here! I'm always th' one that's imposin', always puttin' someone out... It ain't yer fault, it's me, it's always me, it's always been me! Everybody's life is fine, until Ranma Saotome shows up and wrecks everything!"

"That was mostly your father's fault, not yours, and that is no longer the case. You can never be 'imposing' on anyone here, this is YOUR home Ranma-kun, for as long as you want to stay here. If you want ME to leave, or anyone else, all you need to do is say the word, and I will do what ever you need, but I hope that you will continue to allow me to serve-..." The young woman was astonished at the vehemence in his interruption.

"NO!" Ranma was outraged at the very idea.

"What? You really do not want me here?" She tried to back away, but for once it was Ranma who was holding her steady.

"No! I just don't want ya ta act like no servant, ya ain't fillin' in fer nobody! If all a' us are gonna live here, then we're all gonna help ya out, equally!"

"Oh Ranma-kun, that is so sweet of you, but that is not really what I mean. I want to help you with one of your problems."

"My curse?"

"If there is a way I can help, then I will do anything I am able, but no, that is also, not what I meant. I am talking about your problem with girls, even if you wish for me to ask them to leave too."

"What, are ya tryin' ta say yer wantin' ta marry me too?"

"Oh my..." A vision of her in a beautiful, flowered wedding kimono, flashed through her mind causing a light blush. "No, that is not my intention!"

"Then what're ya tryin' ta say? I might turn inta a girl, but I really don't get how ya think."

"Everyone is different, and we all think differently. What matters is who we are as a person, not what gender we are."

"Maybe, I guess, but it don't seem like it too much, sometimes ya seem like a different species. ...Not that it's a bad one, er nuthin'! I mean, it ain't like I don't like ya, ya know?"

"You like...? No!" Kasumi shook her head to clear the image that formed. "That is okay, I understand, but sometimes you can be just as confusing to us."

"But, I'm simple!"

"My sisters might agree, but I do not. You are a very complicated and unique person, who is very special to us, to me. If anyone is one-dimensional around here, it is me."

Ranma shook his head. "Anyone who thinks that about ya, really don't know ya."

"You are too kind, but I am supposed to be the one encouraging you."

"To do what?"

"I-... Um... Oh my... To um, not avoid affection, I suppose."

"Nani?"

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Finally finished with her bath, Ukyo hurried to apply her medicine and get dressed before going off in search of Ranma, still wanting to apologize for almost overreacting. First she checked his room, but no one was there. She checked the weight room before going out into the yard and looking there. She even climbed up onto the roof, but found nothing other than Shampoo, who was meditating on her own, which was a good sign in her mind. As she went back inside to continue her search, hoping that he had not run off into the night, she heard voiced coming from the changing room...

"Well, I am inclined to agree, I am just surprised I did not see it myself." That was Hinako's voice!

"That Tendo girl seems to have been paying close attention to my boy. That is good to see." The joy in Ranma's mother's voice sent chills down Ukyo's spine.

"That does seem to be the girl's style, but let's hurry ...I wanna play in the water!"

Considering their conversation, she concluded Ranma was not with them, and kept up her search. Once again she hear faint voices coming from the kitchen, but she could not make them out, so she cracked the door to peek inside. The instant she did, pain and regret filled her being, and her heart threatened to attack! A nightmare come to life, her Ranchan in the arms of HER! "AAAAAAAHHHHH! RRRRRRAAAAAAAANNNNNNCHAAAAAANNNNNN! What're ya doin' with THAT WOMAN?"

As soon as they heard the voice, Ranma quickly jumped away from Kasumi, trying to act nonchalant. "I wasn't doin' nuthin'!"

If Ukyo did not know better, she would have sworn that Kasumi had glared at her the moment she had made her presence known! She suddenly wanted to cringe and hide, but managed to resist the feeling, almost at a loss for words. "How, how could ya?"

Kasumi was not happy with Ukyo undoing what she had spent so long to accomplish, and stepped forward, about to say something to the young chef, when the rest of the household burst into the room. Seeing Hinako and Nodoka wearing nothing but towels, having come straight from the bath, caused her to take a step back, and forget what she had been about to say.

"What happen?" Shampoo was panting, having rushed in from the roof.

"What's going on?" Hinako had to quickly grab her towel as it started to fall due to her shrinking.

"What is the hubbub?"

Ukyo, pointing at the other pair, her arm shaking, was having trouble forming coherent thoughts. "Them two ...huggin' ...HERE!"

Nodoka squealed in joy, almost dancing around them. "Oooo! Tell me everything!"

"Oh my, well you see, I thought that it would be a good idea, to help Ranma get used to affection in general, by starting with long hugs..." Kasumi blushed as she finished explaining her plan.

"I see, I see, and how do you think it was going?"

"Quite well ...until a few moments ago, I suppose." Keeping herself between the pair, she shot Ukyo another scowl, sending shivers down the sullen chef's spine.

"Ranma, my boy?"

"Uh, yes?" Ranma looked over Kasumi's shoulder, flinching at Ukyo's expression.

"I want you to spend time each day, hugging each one of us, starting now!" Without giving him a moment to respond, Nodoka threw her arms around him, almost losing her towel in the process! "Oh goodness!" Trapping the towel between them, she managed to quickly wrap it back around herself before continuing her bear-hug! "Oh, how I have missed doing this!"

If Ranma had thought the last embrace had been awkward, it had nothing on this one. Hugging his nearly naked mother, with nothing but a thin layer of cloth between them made cuddling Kasumi seem downright comfortable by way of comparison. He may not have really known her long, but something about it put this on an entirely different level of 'strange'.

"What? Then Ah want a' go next!" Ukyo jumped forward, trying to position herself behind Nodoka.

"Is okay. Shampoo wait for end."

Her rival's calm acceptance caught Ukyo off guard... "What? Ah thought ya'd fight ta go first..."

"What is way say? 'Is to saving best one for last one', yes?"

"What? How dare ya say that?"

"Is only say what true."

Nodoka turned an annoyed look on the verbal combatants. "Now, now, girls, there is no need to fight, everyone will get their turns."

"Don't I get a say in this?"

"Trust your mother, this is for your own good, and you will enjoy it!"

"But-..."

"Wait, you should not be forcing this. Ranma-kun should be allowed to decide-..."

"Thanks Kasumi-san, but it's fine. Ya ain't gotta worry about me. I guess I'll get used ta this too."

"That's a start!" Nodoka snuggled closer, rubbing her cheek against his. "Do not worry, mother will show you everything you missed out on in these last ten years!"

Ukyo had an unpleasant fantasy of Nodoka throwing off the towel and using Ranma as a pole upon which to dance, and it caused her to panic! "NO! Ya can't do that!"

"I cannot 'what', hug my son?" The inflection in the older woman's voice grew harsher at the second interruption of her embrace.

"Oh, no, Ah didn't mean THAT, jus' no dancin', an' stuff..."

"Are you all right, my dear? You look a bit pale. Do you need to lie down?"

"Yes, but not 'til Ah've had mah turn!"

"If you are ill, you should think of others, and not try to get them sick as well..."

"Ah ain't that kind'a sick!"

Shampoo turned toward her with her tongue sticking out her tongue. "Is too too sick in head!"

"Yer one ta talk!"

"Well, as long as you are not contagious, then I suppose it is fine..." Nodoka slowly stepped away, happy to have had another opportunity to reconnect with her son, and allowed Ukyo to take her place.

Glad the other woman had not taken things any further, Ukyo felt certain she had been about to witness a shocking spectacle, but chose to bite her tongue, and move in for her hug! Resting her head on Ranma's shoulder, she whispered into his ear. "Ah'm sorry Ranchan! Ah didn't mean ta do it, an' it won't evah happen again! Kin ya evah fergive meh?"

"I ain't mad."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Ya don't seem happy..."

"Yeah, that ain't nuthin' new."

"But, what's wrong?"

"What ain't wrong?"

"Ya got meh!"

"An' like th' others, yer tryin' ta make me do a bunch a weird things..."

"But... it's only cause their pushin' meh! Ah wanted ta wait 'til we're married..." 'IS next week okay? Hehehehe...'

"Look, I don't even know if I WANT ta git married..."

That broke Ukyo's fantasy, shattering the wedding image in her mind into thousands of pieces. "But..."

"I don't even know what a husband's supposed ta do, it ain't like I had th' best role model."

"If it's you Ranchan, then Ah don't care whatcha do, there's only ONE thing ya 'gotta' do."

"What's that?"

"MEH!"

"What about ya? I don't get it, what da ya need me ta do?"

Ukyo looked up from where she had fallen, rubbing her nose, and still having trouble believing how little Genma had taught her fiancee about life.

"I suppose that means you are next, Sensei. ...Sensei? Oh, there you are, what happened?" Nodoka finally noticed Hinako's petite personage, blinking several times in confusion.

"It IS? YATTA! ONII-TAN!" With that, she leaped into his arms, knowing full well that he would never let her fall! ...though her towel did.

"Wait, but Ah ain't done..."

Little Hinako turned her head to face Ukyo and stuck out her tongue. "Too bad! Nyaaaaaa! You heard Saotome-san, it is Hinako-chan's turn to hug Onii-tan!"

"WHAT?" Ukyo just stared at the tiny teacher, she could not believe she had just been pushed aside by the one person supposedly supporting her!

Hinako did not want to be mean, but she did not get to snuggle with her 'big brother' often, especially when she was small enough to really enjoy it! There was just something about being in his arms that made her feel safe and comforted, and for some reason at that moment, she did not want to give that up to anyone!

It only took moments before the youthful looking instructor had fallen asleep in Ranma's arms, snoring away, and despite the snot bubble, seeing it inspired in most of the women in the room the image of a good father. Kasumi wanted to take them both in her arms, and Nodoka just wanted to gobble them both up.

While Shampoo also found it to be a picture of manliness, she felt that she had waited long enough, and was ready to take her turn. Very carefully, she peeled Hinako off of a grateful Ranma, and lifted the little lecturer, shifting the weight to her own shoulders, before handing her off to Nodoka, who accepted gladly. Nodoka hurried off to Ranma's room to put Hinako to bed, hoping she would not miss much of the show.

"Now is Shampoo turn."

"Urk..." Ranma started to back away, preparing himself for a trademarked glomp.

"No fair be running from Shampoo, so stay still now." Ranma froze in place as she softly slid up beside him, one hand entangling itself in his hair, the other slowly going down his back. "Ranma put arms around Shampoo, and try copy what do. Stroke hair, rub back ...and more."

Glancing up to see a blushing Kasumi nodding at him, he reluctantly did as bidden, unaware of the affect it was having on the women watching him as they imagined themselves in Shampoo's place. Even Kasumi was finding it difficult to shake the image from her mind, while Ukyo could not wait to try it herself.

Always trying to be several steps ahead, she kissed his neck, nipped at his earlobe, and whispered into his ear. "Is good Airen, let hand move more, no be scared of Shampoo, only bite little bit."

"I ain't scared!"

"Then prove for Shampoo..."

Her light breath on his ear sent shivers down the young man's spine, which only intensified the activity of the butterflies who were currently using his stomach as a dojo.

She moved his right hand to her left breast, and lowered her other hand, squeezing his buttocks. "Shampoo no mind too too much, but Ranma need learn take initiative, most girl want boy what lead."

"But-...?" Ranma tried to protest, but she did not let him finish.

"Listen to Shampoo, girl no want boy what weak and no know what want."

"Then why so many a' ya want me? I don't know what I want!"

Shampoo let out a sigh, before taking a calming breath. "If girl say 'is okay', then want strong mens what ravage. Want know boy like, find pretty, want touch, want hug, want kiss!" With that, her lips found their mark, and after a brief moment spent sucking on his lower lip, she threw all of her passion into trying to brake down Ranma's walls.

"Hey! That's more'n jus' huggin'!"

"Is advance huggy style, yes?"

"So manly!" Nodoka had just made it back in time to see her take their embrace up to the next level, grinning happily as she took in the scene.

"No need be jealous." Making a show of not watching Ukyo fume, Shampoo parted Ranma's lips, stabbing at his tongue with her own. "Is good, remember try do like Shampoo do."

The blood rushed from Ranma's brain, threatening to shutdown any higher thought processes, and his heart was beating faster than if he had just seen a cat. The only basis of comparison he had was fear, not that he ever got 'scared', no not him ...but that is what he HEARD people say! Every instinct he had told him that he should resist, try to fight back in some way, but how could he do that without hurting anyone in any way? His first thought was to try some of the new moves he had been trying to study that morning, but he had not really figured out how those worked yet, nor how effective they might be.

Suddenly Ranma had an epiphany, if what Shampoo was doing to him made him feel his way, then perhaps by doing them back to her, he might have some measure of success, or at least show her how it made him feel! He began playing closer attention to what she was doing, trying to turn the tables, and beat the girl at her own game. He did not realize it, but the more he detached his mind, and tried to study her moves, the less nervous he became.

Shampoo had always known her airen was a fast study, the trick was to get him interested in the subject, but he was quickly becoming the best kisser she had known, not that she had kissed that many people in her short life, and almost all of them had been female. Every time he seemed to get a technique down, she threw in another one she had either learned or read about in a book, and before long he was using his hands on his own. She wanted to convey her gratitude to her parents, her grandmother, her ancestors, everyone involved in writing their code of laws, even Genma for dragging them to Jusenkyo without knowing Chinese, and everything else that had brought the two of them together. Whether it was fate, the gods, or just dumb luck, she knew that everything in her life was meant to guide her to this happiness. There had been many trials on the way, and there were likely to be many more, but she had no doubt that the rewards would continue to be well worth it!

Not wanting to watch any more of Shampoo's 'lesson', Ukyo decided to interfere in her rival's enjoyment. "Well, ya best hurry, if ya want meh ta help ya like ya wanted, Ah ain't gonna show ya again..."

Shampoo's slight hesitation at her remarks was enough for Ranma to break himself away, and her to grumble in displeasure. Though, if her Airen like it, she really did want to know the recipe, so did not protest. There would be plenty of time for her to pick up where she left off later. "Fine. Ranma can eat Shampoo stuff when done."

Still in a cheerful mood from the small show, Nodoka overlooked the growling Ukyo, and smiled to the rest of the room. "Then it sounds like a good time to call it a night. We will resume this class after lunch tomorrow, but I want you to make sure to do your 'homework'. Do more of your 'self study', and as Kasumi-chan suggested, I would like you to spend at least half an hour 'hugging' each of these lovely ladies at their convenience." She paid special attention to the way Kasumi blushed when her part was mentioned.

"Shampoo always ready for Ranma!" Rubbing a slightly sore place where he had pinched a bit harder than necessary, she looked into his eyes, hoping to convey how much she cared about him with her gaze. "Is best one for practice, no mind if hurt."

"What? I did? I'm sorry! I didn't meant ta-..."

Leaning in closely, she rubbed on his chest and looked up into his eyes. "Is okay, Shampoo no mind. Maybe even want spank Shampoo later for be bad girl, yes?"

"Do it, Ranchan! Do it now!"

"Huh?"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Song - Ucchan

To the tune of Charlie Brown by the Coasters.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Fe-fe, fi-fi, fo-fo, fum

I smell smoke and it makes my tummy yum!

It's Ucchan, It's Ucchan

She wants that man, that Ranchan.

He's gonna get caught, just you wait and see

(Why's evahbody always pickin' on me?)

That's her on her knees, I know that bitch

Yellin' Ranma come again now, scratch my little itch.

It's Ucchan, It's Ucchan

She's got a frown, she's feelin' down

She's gonna make his lunch, just you wait and see

(Why's everybody always pickin' on me?)

Who's always workin' the strip mall?

Who's always flirtin' in the hall?

Who's always wantin' Ranma's balls?

Guess who (who, me?) Yeah, you!

Who walks in the classroom, cool and slow?

Who calls the English teacher Hi-Na-Ko?

It's Ucchan, It's Ucchan

She needs a plan, that Ucchan

She wants to get laid, just you wait and see

(Why's everybody always pickin' on me?)

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Okay, not by best work, but I am tired... ;p

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

How will Kasumi's revelation affect our story? Will hugs really bring happiness? Will kisses bring kindness? Will the author stop asking stupid questions and start working on the next chapter? Tune in next time and find out when we see, 'The Zen of Hugging', or 'The Battle of the Bakers'!


	31. Chapter 31

Disclaimer: This story is intended only for those people who are willing to read it. All others must stop and leave now.

Chapter 31 - Adult Pampers

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"Well, that's evahthang ya need ta make mah famous seafood okonomiyaki, jus' combine that stuff like Ah told ya, an' back it on th' griddle. Now ya kin keep practicin' while Ah go an' take mah turn huggin' Ranchan!"

Shampoo was more interested in reading the recipe than arguing the point, even if she felt like Ukyo had already had her turn for the night. Once she had mastered the dish, she could go feed it to Ranma and give him all of the loving she felt he deserved! "Just wait, Shampoo show..."

Now mind you, it was not that she thought they were bad, in fact she had never eaten one in her life, but Shampoo just did not see the appeal of the strange seeming foodstuffs... However, even if they were not really Ranma's 'favorite food', if he liked them, then she was bound and determined to learn how to make them for him!

She had honestly been surprised by how easily Ukyo had agreed to her request, but had assumed she had just been desperate to end the game and go to bed. Not that she cared what the reason was, if it meant she got what she wanted. Though, the further along she got, the more she started to think that she might not have...

While she could not claim to be an expert on that particular entree, she was finding it more difficult than she had expected. When she had made the sauce the way Ukyo had said, it came out thinner than she had remembered seeing, but could not be certain, so she had not paid it much attention at first. Then her batter turned out lumpy and hard to mix, but she had been told to measure carefully, and had been warned that getting the proportions incorrect could ruin the fine texture of the dish. She did not want to over mix her thick batter, but even using her speed, she could no break up all of the clumps of flour. Maybe this was how the chef managed to 'almost' match her in strength...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Having finished her cleaning for the evening, Kasumi hummed to herself on her way to the furo, when she smelled something familiar coming from their kitchen which sent her into a panic. "What is Akane-chan doing here?" While she loved both of her sisters dearly, she had hoped that she was finally done cleaning up after these culinary disasters!

As fast as her legs could carry her, she raced though the doors! "Akane-chan, why are ...you ...are not Akane-chan."

"No. Is not." Shampoo's already low mood dropped.

"Shampoo-chan! I am sorry, it is just that, I mean, that smell! What happened? Are you all right?"

"Was Shampoo cooking THAT bad? No even is done..." Her aura darkened at the implication.

Kasumi, always trying to look on the bight side, said the first thing that came to mind. "Well, at least nothing is broken..."

Shampoo hung her head, she could not believe she was being compared to the enemy of all kitchens! She had never felt like more of a failure in her life, not even when she had gone home in disgrace after misunderstanding Ranma's curse! "No know what do wrong, follow instruction exact!"

Wiping away the younger girl's tears, Kasumi tried to calm her friend. "What, may I ask, were you TRYING to make?"

"Is Pancake-Girl recipe. No understand ...never fail so many time!" Tears stated to leak from her melancholy maroon eyes.

Kasumi had never seen the sniffling young woman looking so pathetic. She searched for a handkerchief for Shampoo to blow her nose, while she pondered the obvious. "Why do you have it?"

Starting to get her sobs under control, she did her best to respond. "Say ...is one Ranma ...favorite food ...so, when Shampoo win game, say teach how make."

"Oh, I see... Is that so?" Kasumi quickly glanced around the room, taking in her surroundings, and making mental notes of everything she saw. "So, this is what you have created?"

Still sniffling, she looked up into Kasumi's caring face with her sad-kitten eyes. "Wei, Shampoo make, but no is looking like what see before."

Looking over, she indicated her most recent attempt. "May I?"

Shampoo looked on apprehensively. "No smell like want try."

Kasumi examined the finished product carefully before cutting into it, watching the way her chopsticks slide through the thick breading. "Hummm. It did not seem to mix very well, did it?" The piece she attempted to pick up just fell apart, the dough not holding all of the cabbage to the other ingredients. Scooping up as much of it as she was able, she instantly regretted shoving it into her mouth. It was supposed to be a sweet and savory dish however, this was far more bitter and acidic than she had expected.

Kasumi examined and sampled each of the components, from the batter, to the vegetables, and finally the sauce, which caused her to wince. "I see..."

"Kasumi-onee-chan know what Shampoo do wrong?" For the first time in hours, the young woman felt a bit hopeful.

"Well, this is certainly not the way 'I' would have made it..."

"Please, show Shampoo how make too too good thing for Ranma!"

Not wanting to appear as a show-off, she wanted to refuse, but her desire to help others overrode her modest instincts, and she found it difficult to refuse the adorable expression as Shampoo pleaded for assistance. "I would love to help you, but I am not sure what I can do, I have never made that recipe..."

"No sell self short, Shampoo know is best one for asking!"

"Well, from what I remember I would say this batter is too thick, so we should thin it out some, and the sauce is far too bitter, it was supposed to be a sweet sauce to balance the savoriness of the rest of the dish." She did not wish to pry, so she did not want to look at Ukyo's secret family recipe, so she tried to work something out based on what she remembered from the last time she had eaten one...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ukyo had been in seventh heaven while wrapped in Ranma's arms, in complete silence, just enjoying the warmth and peace. So, she barely even minded when the door opened to reveal Shampoo, holding an okonomiyaki, closely followed by Kasumi, who was carrying a tea set. Thinking back on her prank, and imagining the look on Ranma's face as he tries to eat the poorly made knock-off, and started to giggle. She had initially intended to solely leave out her family's secret ingredients, and just give her a standard one, though the more she had felt insulted, the more she had wanted to take the haughty 'princess' down a peg, so she had sabotaged it even further. If the smells she had noticed earlier had been any indication, she could not wait to see their reactions!

"Shampoo make snack for Ranma, want taste?" Shampoo beamed with pride, hoping she showed enough confidence that Ranma would accept her offering.

As the fresh aroma wafted into Ranma's nostrils, his eyes popped open, and he suddenly became much more alert. "Do I?"

"Did'ja have as much fun makin' it as Ah did?" Ukyo grinned, but was starting to get the feeling that something was not right with the world.

"One what give, was only good for trash. This new dish, full of Shampoo-Kasumi love!"

Kasumi turned away as she blushed at the way that could have been misinterpreted, and she hoped no one had taken it wrong. After all, she always made her food with love, no matter who was going to eat it! She never played favorites! ...Except after Ranma had saved her from that Chinese prince ...and after saving her from Kodachi ...and his birthday ...or that time-... 'Oh my...'

Despite her own alterations, Ukyo could not help but feel offended at someone insulting one of her recipes! "Hey! MAH okonomiyaki's th' best in all of Japan, maybe even th' world, if'n ya got a problem, maybe it's th' cook's fault! Maybe y'all ain't usin' 'nuff 'love'!"

"Is 'at some kinda seasonin'?" Ranma had not heard of that one, it seemed like a strange spice, but he had heard of 'thyme', 'ginger', 'mace', and many other things he did not think sounded like 'food'.

"Definitely. Every dish should be made with all of the love you have for your guests. This is the basis of all cooking." A bit of pride started to return to the homemaker's stance.

"Must be why yer food's always so good, Kasumi-san." Ranma was eager to try whatever they have brought him.

"Oh my, what are you trying to say, Ranma-kun?" Kasumi's face was positively glowing with delight.

Ukyo was not as thrilled. "Yeah, Ranchan! What'cha tryin' ta say?"

"I don't know nobody as good at cookin' as Kasumi-san, an' it just keeps gettin' better all th' time lately!"

Kasumi tried to cover her rosy face. "Oh my, no, I am not that good. You are the one who has really improved lately, Ranma-kun."

"What're ya sayin', Ranchan? Ya think Tendo-san cooks better'n meh?"

"Hey! That ain't fair!" How did he always find himself in these situations? Suddenly he thought he had a good idea... "Ya don't make th' same stuff, Ya specialize in okonomiyaki, an' Kasumi specializes in ...well, I guess most other Japanese cookin'. Ya know?"

"Ack! Well, thanks fer th' vote a confidence, Ranchan. That makes meh feel SO much bettah! Ah kin make othah stuff too, Ah'll have ya know!"

Ukyo did not look as happy as Ranma thought her words implied, and he was starting to think his idea did not work as well as he had hoped.

'They DID make th' same thing THIS time though...' Ukyo sat there, far more nervous than she felt she should be at the situation, waiting to see what Ranma thought of their creation, and in spite of her confidence in her cooking, there was a nagging part of her in the back of her mind, that was telling her to be afraid, 'very' afraid.

With very few exceptions, Ranma was generally eager for almost any food, and this did not deviate from the norm. In fact, that was one thing he could not deny, even if there had been a lot of embarrassment and discomfort since they had moved into this house, he had not had one bad meal the entire time! A stark contrast to his years of living on the road with his father, or even living with the Tendos! He still had nightmares about some of the so called 'meals' he had been forced to consume while living there...

"Is plan make Shampoo wait all night ...or no is wanting?" She sniffled as she made a motion as if to leave the room, food in hand.

"No! I want! I want!" Ranma's hands shivered in anticipation, almost fumbling with the chopsticks. He was still unsure what it meant to 'cook with love' but he knew that few people could compare to Kasumi's cooking, so she HAD to know what she was talking about! 'If Kasumi-san cooked with 'love', then how did I miss it, and what was it that Akane used?' Shaking the random thought from his head, he refocused on what mattered most to him at that moment, 'FOOD!'

No longer having to fight for every bite, Ranma had been trying to follow the example provided him, and savor the taste of almost everything he ate, while trying to identify the flavors, so as to improve his own cooking. This time however, he was barely able to contain his excitement, this was the first time he had ever had an okonomiyaki made by Kasumi! Ukyo's okonomiyaki, while always incredible, and had become a 'staple' food in his diet, but he could not help but to feel exited about trying something new!

Ukyo saw the expression on Ranma's face, and her heart sank. 'How could Ranchan be that excited about someone else's okonomiyaki? Ain't mahn th' only ones worth eating? Ain't Ah dedicated Mah entire life ta th' art? Ain't Ah trained against th' very sea itself?'

Ranma was surprised by how fluffy it was, he had never had an okonomiyaki that was that light and springy, it was as if there were bubbles baked into the dough! The sauce was also quite different than he had expected, lighter and not as complex, yet it complemented the rest of the flavors well, giving it a very well balanced over-all appeal. Barely pausing to moan in pleasure, he quickly grabbed another bite.

"Ranma like? Shampoo SO happy!" She wanted to jump for joy, but had still been holding the tray of food and did not wish to spill their hard work. Unfortunately, even while resisting, her voluptuous body moved slightly, bumping the tray, and she barely managed to keep it from falling.

Kasumi felt a wave of relief wash away the apprehension she had not been aware that she had been feeling. She was happy that their recipe had been appreciated, seeing the joy on their faces made all of their effort worth while. Whispering under her breath, she muttered a small cheer. "Yatta!"

"Rrraaannncchaaannn...! How could ya? Ah swear..." Ukyo felt tiny and wanted to crawl away to hide somewhere.

Ranma was far to engrossed in his snack to notice anyone speaking, and the others cared more about watching him enjoying it to pay Ukyo the slightest attention.

"Well, since ya ate it all, now ya kin tell meh, which is bettah?"

"Huh? I only ate one."

"Ah meant mine! Which ya like bettah?" Ukyo's glare hardened as she awaited his response.

"It ain't a contest, they're both great!"

"It is now! Ah challenge ya!" The Osakan chef quickly stood, pointing at Kasumi with an accusatory glower.

None of the others could believe what they had heard, answering with a collective, "What?"

"THEN we'll see who makes th' best okonomiyaki!" The ferocity of Ukyo's determined stare was matched only by her aura as she made her declaration.

"Certainly it would be you, Kuonji-san. This is the first time either of us have ever made one. Would you not agree?" Not wanting a fight, Kasumi had hoped to be able to diffuse the situation.

"It ain't about wot Ah think, this is about Ranchan!" Everyone turned their attention to the young man in question.

"What Ranma think then?"

'I think I'm in trouble no matter what I say!' "Ah..."

"That sounds like a fun idea girls, a cook-off! How about we do it tomorrow evening?" Everyone stared as Nodoka entered the room.

"Huh, tomorrow? Ah'm ready raht now!"

"Do you really wish to spend the entire night cooking, or is there something you would rather be doing before you sleep?"

"Shampoo have better thing plan for after wash dish!"

"Better than washing dishes? Is it laundry? No, no need to worry about it, the laundry is done for today, and I will take care of the dishes, you go have fun, Shampoo-chan."

"Then it's settled. It will be better if we can go get fresh ingredients before hand anyway, yes?"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

After finally managing to escape the others, Ranma was suppressing his aura, and trying to stay out of sight. He had been subjected to far too much 'skinship' for his comfort for a year that day, and he wanted nothing more than to sleep alone for once ...even if it meant sleeping on the roof again or 'something' similar. Moving as quietly as one of those loathsome felines, he searched for a good place to hide, while examining their roof in greater detail.

Surprising himself, he found a loose vent cover, that was large enough for him to crawl through and into the attic he had not previously been cognizant of having. He replaced the cover while waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darker room and looked around. Considering that he had not been aware of them storing anything in an attic, there had been a remarkable number of boxes, chests, and other various items contained within.

It was difficult to see details, even after his eyes had adjusted, though he was able to make out the general layout, as well as the size and shape of most of the things he found, one of them being a small stuffed toy. One of the more notable objects was a chest nearly as large as his own body! He could not make out any details on the trunk, but opening it was an easy enough task.

Reaching in, he discovered that it was filled with what felt like mostly silk material! He could not exactly tell what each item was, other than to at least be certain that it was not small enough to be underwear, so he felt reasonably safe crawling inside, and while he could not stretch out, it was not exactly uncomfortable. After hanging a piece of cloth over the latch to prevent it from fastening, he closed the lid so even if anyone did look up here, they would not see him, and went to sleep.

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Kasumi awoke early to a strange sensation, she could not shake the feeling that someone was intruding upon her personal space. Possibly an odd thing for her to feel, having grown accustomed as she had, to sleeping on a futon with four other people. Her first instinct was to turn to one of those people, and ask him to investigate, however Ranma was not present, giving her one more thing to consider. Had he also felt her apprehension and already gone to look, had he still not come to bed, or had something happened to him?

She could not imagine anyone tough enough to beat Ranma after what she had witnessed one the few occasions she had seen him really going all out, so she shook that thought from her mind, and considered the alternatives. If Ranma was not already looking into it, she felt that someone needed to, but if he were not there, who could she depend upon? Leaning in closely, she whispered into the closest ear, "Shampoo-chan ...are you awake?"

Having fallen asleep while waiting for Ranma to come to bed, she had been up late, and felt as though she had barely gotten any sleep. "Mmmmmm... Onee-chan? Shampoo have too too good dream."

"I am terribly sorry, but I believe I hear someone in the kitchen, would you mind terribly checking with me?"

"Think is Ranma?" Her eyes popped fully open as she shook off the dreamy haze.

Kasumi concentrated for a moment, just as she had been taught, searching out the familiar aura. "I do not think that is the case, Ranma-kun seems to be elsewhere at the moment."

Disappointed, she tried to sense who was near, and while she did notice something unfamiliar, she found that she could barely feel Ranma at all, making her wonder how good the older girl's perception had gotten. Not that it was the time to worry about it, so she summoned her chui in a flash, and quietly made her way to the door. "Shampoo check."

Doing her best to conceal her presence, Kasumi followed along, staying behind her friend and occasional guardian. As they inched forward, neither of them heard anything, though what they saw upon opening the door to the kitchen almost took their breath away!

"Oh no, the leftovers!" Containers and utensils were spread out all over, with bits of food spilled onto the floors and counters. For a brief moment, she thought her sister had been trying to cook again before realizing that if Akane had been cooking, she would have left burnt food, not consumed what was there already. Perhaps she needed to look into what was happening with her family, she had not gotten any news since Nabiki had last stopped by to visit. After only a moment's hesitation, she set to work, cleaning up the disaster that had become of her kitchen! "Oh my, oh my, oh my..."

Catching her arm, Shampoo held her back a moment. "No think should wait, for after catching person?"

"I no longer sense anyone, do you?"

"...No." The miffed young woman crossed her arms in a huff.

"I wonder who it could have done this..."

"Sure no was Ranma?"

"I am fairly positive, I cannot imagine Ranma-kun leaving a mess like this, not even when they first arrived at our house..."

"Maybe was stupid Panda-Man?"

"I suppose that is possible, we have not seen that guy in some time..."

"If here, Great-Grandmother say no put past Happosai too."

"Oh my! Maybe we should check the other rooms, do you agree?"

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A man dressed all in black ran, doing his best to stay in the shadows and unnoticed by the population at large, hurried toward his destination. His hands were still filled with food, and the expression of total bliss on his face contradicted the apprehensive feelings gnawing at the back of his thoughts. The boss was not going to be happy with him for failing to find what he had been sent to retrieve, but not getting caught had to take priority. He could try again soon, and next time, even if he was running late, he would make certain to fill his belly before hand! He could not have expected their food would have been that good as to have completely distracting him from his mission, which caused him to drop his guard for a moment. At least he had managed to search several rooms before allowing his stomach to overrule his mind...

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"None of my underwear is missing either, did you want to check yours?"

"Okay, Shampoo check!"

Nodoka rubbed her eyes as the voices penetrated her tranquil slumber, as one thought permeated the fog in her mind. 'A panty thief! Was it Ranma, and if not Kasumi, then who had been targeted?' Without thinking, she instinctively check her own drawer only to find that it was undisturbed and could not decide if she should be relieved or offended. Throwing on her housecoat, she quietly followed the two young women down the hallway, trying not to disturb them, while at the same time, hoping to discern what was happening.

"Shampoo-chan! I am SO sorry, it looks as though they almost cleaned you out!"

"What is say, is all there."

"But you only have few pair left, and all of your bras are gone!"

"Is all Shampoo need, no look good with dress, and want be ready for Ranma!"

"I had always just thought you were washing your own!"

"No, Shampoo no like, is better keep cool, breeze feel too too good on bike."

Kasumi could not help but to imagine herself wearing one of Shampoo's short, skin-tight dresses without panties, and almost exploded as the blood rushed to her face. "Oh my..."

"Now know why Shampoo ride bike on rooftop, most person no look up."

"Well, if that is REALLY all you own..."

"Great-Grandmother tell Shampoo Japanese boy like take from girl what like, so want have some for Ranma have!" The young woman beamed with pride at her social insight and forethought, she knew without a doubt, that Ranma would soon be all hers, and he would finally kick that other woman to the curb!

Before the evil laughter could slip passed Shampoo's lips, Kasumi picked up where she had left off, shifting the focus of the room back onto herself. "If so, then there is only one room left to check, but the others were in Ranma's room, do we really wish to check on Mother's drawer?"

Deciding that she did not want to be caught eavesdropping, she acted as if she had just been walking passed the room and poked her head through the doorway. "Good morning girls, what was it that you wanted from my drawers?"

"Oh my!" Kasumi was embarrassed for Ranma's mother, as she thought her statement sounded a bit dirty, leaving it to Shampoo to answer for them both.

"Is only want make sure thief no is take small-clothes."

"What, a thief, here? Oh dear... was anyone hurt, what was taken?"

"Is too too strange, only finding mess in kitchen, missing food, but is too too often in Husband town for womans' ...'nei yi' be stolen."

Nodoka was no expert on Mandarin, but she had heard enough of the conversation to pick up on the context. "So there is an underwear thief running around here?"

"Know least one."

"Is it Ranma?"

Both of them shouted in unison. "NO!"

"Oh really?"

Kasumi could not quite judge the other woman's reaction, it was difficult to tell if she was pleased or not. "The Ranma-kun I know would never do such a thing! ...It could be Grandfather Happosai."

"I ...see." The name of her husband's master was not unknown to her, nor was his reputation. She honestly had mixed feelings about the man, while the man certainly did possess a number of 'manly' traits, some of which she had always hoped would wear off on her own husband, his thievery and willingness to force himself upon women, made it difficult for her to appreciate his virility. "I had need of a fresh pair when I awoke this morning, so I can already tell you that mine remain untouched as well. Have you now checked every room?"

"We have, even the dirty laundry appears as we left it, none of the ladies here seem to be missing any."

"Then it probably was not my husband's ...teacher."

"No check Ranma dresser, but we was in there then..."

"Who would steal men's underwear?" Kasumi had never heard of such a thing, and had trouble believing it.

"If is Ranma, Shampoo know more than few people..."

Nodoka had to admit, if true, that was truly manly! Now, if only she could get him to show the same interest in these girls! While it was clear that his looks came from her side of the family, there were some traits that undeniably came from his father ...much to her chagrin. She could only imagine that if SHE had raised him, she would already be knee-deep in grandchildren! The very idea of which had gotten her sidetracked, thinking about the various things she would do the next time she got her husband alone...

Not particularly unhappy about doing something related to laundry, Kasumi tried to calm herself. "I suppose that I know the arrangements of the drawers best, so I should be the one to go look, I just hope that I can do so without waking the others."

"Is no problem, child teacher sleep through almost anything!"

"But what about Kuonji-san?" Kasumi looked concerned about the idea of waking someone without need.

"Is okay..." Shampoo tried to grin reassuringly ...she did not do well.

"If you think I can do it safely..." There was a part of her that found all of this sneaking around she had been doing lately quite exhilarating, even the idea of rummaging through Ranma's underwear drawer, which she did not understand, considering that she was the one who had put it all away in the first place!

Shampoo knew that she could move more quietly, though she could not guarantee that she would be able to know if anything was missing, she cared far more about what was IN his underwear, than the boxers themselves, and she had to admit, the older girl WAS rather quiet for someone who had barely trained in the art. She was also rather quick, Kasumi had managed to clear the obstacles, cross the room, and with only a slight hesitation, check his drawer before returning with far less disturbance to the room's occupants than Shampoo had hoped.

"I do not see anything missing there either..." The relief she felt was in contrast to the confusion on her face as she tried to puzzle out what had happened. "If there were not any undergarments missing, then it was not a pervert, and ...oh my!"

"Still could be Stu-" Deciding that using her nickname for Genma in front of Nodoka may not help earn the woman's favor, she caught her self. "Er, Ranma father, if only was food missing..."

"That would be like my husband to leave a mess in the kitchen, and only touch the food someone else made..."

Still disappointed by the loss of her food, she was glad that it did not go to waste. "Well, at least it was not a 'real' burglar then, ne?"

Shampoo was not so certain, if it was Genma, even if they scared him off, nothing good could come of it, and it made her all the more worried about her 'Airen'! "Kasumi-onee-chan?"

"Yes?" Glancing over, she saw a concerned Shampoo looking back up at her.

"Say still know Ranma is here, yes?"

Sending out her aura, she tried to sense every living thing on their property, and could still make out Ranma's faint presence somewhere above them. "Oh my, yes. In the same place as before." Kasumi was happy to not only feel his comforting familiarity, but also to be able to use her new skills to help her 'family'.

More than a bit jealous at the blushing girl's sensitivity, Shampoo was glad that he had not been kidnapped, she would not put anything passed that man! It was not as if he had not tried that before, on multiple occasions. "Maybe was for best, Airen no sleep in bed..."

"No? I believe we are going to have to have a talk later." 'Honestly, how am I going to have any grandchildren if that boy does not take these things seriously? You need to at LEAST be in the same room!'

"Oh, do you think that is it possible that we were pushing Ranma-kun too hard?" Kasumi worried what might happen if they did not take things slowly.

"Onee-chan?"

"That is true, it is the man who should be doing the hard pushing!" Nodoka grinned at the thought.

"Oh yes, want Ranma pushing into Shampoo!" She started to drool at the thought, if his tongue had felt that good, then what will the real thing be like?

"No, wait, that's not what I meant!"

"No? Then what did you mean, my dear?"

"I meant pushing too fast..."

"Slow is nice, but sometimes, faster is better, trust me my dear, mother knows best."

"But-..."

"No no, it is far too soon for anything like that. In that case, you DO want to take it slowly. If you are that eager we will begin your training later today."

"What training? If for Ranma, Shampoo want 'training' too!" If there was some training going on, be it fighting or bridal training, she wanted to be involved!

"You do, do you? What do you think, Kasumi-chan?"

The young woman suddenly got flustered at the thought of anyone else seeing what she had been doing for 'training'. "Me? Oh my! I mean, no, I think ...you shouldn't... Oh, oh my..."

Shampoo could not hide the hurt she felt at being denied by the one other person she trusted. "Onee-chan?"

Kasumi could not have felt worse if she had been stabbed through the heart with a wooden spoon. "Oh my, I did not mean-... It's just SO embarrassing!"

"If making better bride for Ranma, then Shampoo no care!"

"I see... I cannot fault your dedication."

"No one have more deci-mation than Shampoo!" The boastful young warrior tapped her chest with her fist.

"Is that so?" Nodoka tried not to giggle at the mispronunciation. "I suppose I will leave that up to your 'big sister' to decide."

Kasumi shot a glare at her 'mother', clearly asking 'how she could do such a thing to her'. Her gaze flitted back and forth between the two, lingering on the pleading look from her young friend. "It is just that, I mean ...oh my! I don't think I can do this..."

Shampoo's expression grew far more quizzical as she wondered what kind of training could cause such a change in the normally mild mannered young woman. "What no can do?"

"Oh my, oh my, I, I, ...oooo, I just can't!" With that, she ran from the room, trying to hide her presence, despite the glow emitting from her skin.

"What that about?" Shampoo was far more confused than hurt at this point, uncertain how to understand the reaction she had just seen.

"No need to worry about it, Mother will handle everything. We will just train you both separately for nooowfff!" Nodoka had the wind knocked out of her as she was caught up in one of 'glomps' that were almost legendary around Nerima.

"Shampoo no can thank Airen Mother enough!"

"Do not thank me yet, first let us see what you can do... but first, could you let me breathe?"

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The light poked thought the attic window, highlighting a chest as the lip opened, and a young man sat up rubbing his eyes. In spite of the cramps in his legs, that had been the best night's sleep he had gotten in months. He could tell by the angle of the sun that he had slept much later than he had grown accustomed, and he probably ought to hurry if he wanted any hope of getting some of Kasumi's breakfast! After getting out and stretching, Ranma finally took a decent look and saw that he had spent the night sleeping amid someone's clothing.

He felt a bit bad about that, and figured if he did not wish to get someone mad at him, he had better wash what he had gotten dirty. Luckily, Kasumi had shown him how to safely wash silk, and considering that most of his favorite outfits were made of it, he had learned those lessons well. Figuring that he could not get the trunk through the window he had used to enter, he realized that if he wanted to bring it down with him, he would have to enter through the house, so picking up his shoes in one hand, he balanced the chest on his head, and starting looking for a way down.

After slowly lowering the large container down the ladder, Ranma quickly hopped down beside it, and lifted the ladder back into place. After looking around to see if anyone had spotted him, he hefted the chest over his head, and quickly creped his way down the hall, and into their laundry room. After filling a washtub with cold water, he opened the trunk, and pulled out the first garment, an unfamiliar long silk dress, though it looked like something Shampoo might wear. Going through them, he realized that he did not remember ever seeing her wear any of these dresses, and more to the point, they were not even all women's clothing!

With a bit more rummaging, he came across the small stuffed animal that he had found the night before, and casually tossed it over his shoulder. "How'd that get in there?"

"Ara?" Kasumi had been doing as she had been taught, and out of sheer embarrassment was trying to hide her presence in every way. She had hidden herself away in the place she had always felt the most comfortable, where she could be herself, and just wanted to be forgotten by everyone else in the household ...that was until a small stuffed oni bounced off her head, and landed in her lap. "So cuuuute!"

"Huh? Kasumi-san?" Ranma could not imagine what he looked like, arm deep in dresses, but he quickly threw everything back inside and closed the lid, hoping he had not been spotted. He could not believe she could already sneak up on him, it felt as if he had barely started teaching her those techniques ...was this how every mentor felt? Now that he thought about it, of the Tendos, she had always been the most quiet, she seemed to be a natural. It made him a bit sad that she had not been able to dedicate herself to the art her whole life, she might have even 'almost' been a match for him!

"Oh, oh my, Ranma-kun, I did not see you there! Is everything all right?"

"I could ask ya th' same thing. What ya doin' back there?" The moment the question left his lips, her mood darkened, and he instantly regretted asking it. "NO! It's okay, ya ain't gotta tell me if ya don't wanna! But if there's anything I can do, ya know I'll help ya..."

"Oh, no, there is nothing 'wrong', I just ...needed some time alone..."

"Boy, do I know how that is! Ya want me ta leave? I guess I can do this later..."

"No, you are fine, Ranma-kun, do not let me stop you."

"Ya sure? It really ain't no problem..."

"No, please, stay. I am actually glad you are here."

"What? Why?"

"This is why..." Within an instant, Kasumi was on her feet, and holding Ranma gently in her arms, encouraging him to do the same. "Please ...hold me, make me feel 'safe' again." Memories of the feelings of security she had every time Ranma had saved her came rushing back, filling her with a warmth that was reminiscent of being a child in the arms of her parent. All of her problems from her fears over their 'thief', to her embarrassment washed away as he responded to her embrace.

"Ya ain't got nuthin' ta worry about, I'll always protect ya, Kasumi-san. What's wrong, who's after ya?"

"No one, you don't have to beat anyone up, just don't leave now." She held him even more tightly, wanting this moment to go on forever.

"I ain't goin' nowhere. I just wish ya'd tell me what's wrong." Ranma was not certain what he should be doing, but he figured if nothing else, this could count toward his homework, and he supposed if it made Kasumi happy in the process, all the better.

"Nothing now." Her smile started to return as his warmth permeated her very being.

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"You are certain that there was no mistake?" Worried for her son's whereabouts, Nodoka could not help but inquire again.

"Big Sister Kasumi say Ranma still home, Shampoo believe."

Nodoka was surprised by the young woman's decisive tone. "You put a lot of faith in that girl, why is that?"

Not wanting to admit that Kasumi was already more sensitive than her, and could find Ranma even when he was trying to hide, when she could not do that with her lifetime of training, she decided to focus on another aspect. "Shampoo no know anyone trust as much."

"No, not anyone?" The quizzical expression told the young warrior what she needed.

"Know what trying say, and love Ranma more, but sometime hurt Shampoo feeling. No is always fault, but is something Big Sister never would do."

"I see, so you have been hurt by my son, yet you still wish to marry?"

"Shampoo blame fathers, and stupid plan to marry Ranma to violent Pervert-Girl, that what make most bad thing happen. They teach Airen do stupid thing, and make say 'no' to Shampoo, who only want be dutiful wife! Why husband no want do duty with Shampoo?"

Nodoka suddenly felt a strong affinity with the young woman, having shared the same frustrations with her own husband. "Tell me about it!"

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"What is that woman thinking?" Hinako could not get the earlier conversations out of her mind, did the Saotome matriarch truly have intentions of doing THAT to her own son? No matter what, that was something she, as his teacher, could not allow to occur! Despite all logic, she could not get the image of the two of them out of her head, even when she was distracted by recollections of being his 'practice dummy', and those memories were becoming far from infrequent ...especially in the shower, or while he was holding her during his 'homework' the night before. Even then, the feelings were crawling their way up from the back of her mind where she had hoped to lock them away.

"-Sensei. ...Hinako-sensei, wait-up!" The voice from behind brought her out of her introspection.

"Ah, Kuonji-san, going in early today? Good for you, your studies should not be neglected."

"Didn't ya hear meh? Ah've been callin' ya fer a couple a' blocks."

"Oh? Sorry, I have been thinking about the situation at home."

"Meh too! That's what Ah wanted ta talk ta ya about."

"Oh? What is on your mind?"

"Ranchan."

"And what about the boy in particular?"

"How we kin git married!"

"You need to get Saotome-kun to agree..."

Ukyo tried to calm herself and not get upset at the other woman stating the obvious. "Ain't that th' hundred million yen question, 'how do Ah DO that'?"

"What are you thinking?"

"Ah ain't, Ah jus' can't think a' nuthin', 'specially aftah th' othah day..."

"What happened the other day?"

Ukyo had trouble getting her words out, choking each time went to speak.

Hinako noticed this, and stopped to turn around, just in time to have Ukyo bury her face in her chest. "Ooof! Ack, just calm down, and tell Sensei what happened."

Ukyo could barely speak between the sniffles and occasional sob. "Mupherphenkyo."

"Calm down, remember to breathe..."

"...Ran- ...chan, called meh ...'UKYOOOOoooo'!"

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"Before we buy the groceries, I would like to make another stop, a little bird told me that you have a serious lack of undergarments."

"Is okay, Shampoo no need."

"Now do not be like that, every girl needs some pretty panties."

"Shampoo have 'some'..."

"That is no good, they are an important part of a woman's arsenal, they can even improve your figure. Admittedly, not that you need it..."

"What 'arsenal', is for fighting, yes?"

"For fighting, for love, for studying, there is always something to work towards, and the right underwear can help with all of it. It exists to gently wrap your body and protect you."

"What mean? What have is fine."

"Oh no, they have a lifespan, you need to replace them when they wear out, and lose their shape."

"Is okay, no wear often. Can no wear with nice dress, no is look good."

"We have something for that, it is just a string in the back, that can ride high on the sides, so you cannot see it."

"Want always be ready for Ranma!"

"Now, now, while I appreciate your enthusiasm, you do not want to make things too easy for them, remember, we humans enjoy things more when we have to work for them. Sometimes, the less you show, the more tantalizing it can be."

Shampoo thought about that idea, completely ignoring they way people were giving them both a wide berth, and she had to admit, Ranma did seem to react more negatively the more strongly she came on to him... Perhaps there was something to that idea after all, it was not as if she was opposed to trying new things, especially if there was a chance it would help her with her Airen!

"There are many different kinds, for many different situations. They can improve your figure, protect your body, keep you warm, and even help you look cute and fashionable. Now come with Okaa-chan, and we will take care of everything."

"HAAIII!"

"Remember, a great day, starts with a great pair of underwear!"

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"Well, it might be old-fashioned, but perhaps you could try to get in good with Saotome-kun's mother."

"I suppose, but ya think that'd help?"

"They do seem like a traditional family ...in some ways at least. Perhaps you could start with a gift?"

"What should it be, some a' mah okonomiyaki?"

"You should think of something that they would like."

"Who don't like mah okonomiyaki?"

"That is not the point."

"Well, it ain't like Ah really know much about th' woman, other'n bein' Ranchan's mom!"

"That is a good place to start thinking of ideas, how about something that connects you?"

"THAT'S IT! Thank ya, Sensei!" Ukyo could not help but to squeeze her teacher even tighter.

"I am glad you have an idea, but we need to hurry, or we will be late to class." With that, the two of the hurried toward the school.

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Kasumi had long since lost track of how much time had passed since they had embraced each other, and if she were to be honest with herself, she still did not wish for it to end any time soon. She had always loved hugs, it was a physical expression of the love she felt for all of the things in her life, though somehow, the ones she had been sharing with Ranma had taken on a different feeling lately. It reminded her of being a child comforted by a protective parent. Still, there was something ...more, she could not put her finger on it, it had her feeling nervous for some reason, and yet she had no desire to flee. In fact, she could truthfully say that she had never enjoyed cuddling anyone else as much, not even her father or sisters, though there was also a hint of guilt that she did not understand gnawing at the back of her mind. Being such an unfamiliar feeling to her, she did her best to ignore it, and tried to keep herself centered ...it was a difficult task.

"Ya okay, Kasumi-san? Ya don't quite seem yerself. I'm sorry my mom's makin' ya do all this weird stuff, ya ain't gotta go ta this much trouble. I'll tell mom ta leave ya outa this, it ain't fair ta ya. Ya ain't got nuthin' ta do with this."

Grateful for his consideration, Kasumi squeezed him more tightly, rapidly shaking her head. "No. Please. That is not why I am doing this. No one is making me do anything. Not my family and not yours." She had not noticed her tears starting to fall, nor could she have held them back if she had. "I am here because I want to help you, Ranma-kun. I care about you, and want you to get better!"

"What do ya mean? I'm always tryin' ta get better, that's why I train so much."

"Well, I cannot help you much with that, you are the one teaching me after all, but that is not what I mean..."

"Then, th' curse?"

She had a difficult time thinking of turning into such a beautiful young woman as a bad thing, but she knew perfectly well how Ranma felt about it. "If I knew a way... but no, your other problem."

"The cat-fist?" Even when it DID come in handy upon occasion, he despised the affects it has on him, and really DID wish he could 'cure' that one, more than almost any of his other problems!

"Well, I have been trying to think of a way, but other than practicing with Shampoo, I am not certain. No, that was not it either, I am sorry..."

"Why? Ya ain't done nuthin' wrong. Hell, ya might be th' ONLY one that ain't!"

Kasumi privately disagreed, but could not bring herself to say it aloud, she just felt sorry for the young man who had so many problems in his life.

"Then what problem 're ya talkin' about, the fiancee thing?"

"Oh, no, but that is much less of a problem now, is it not? You only need to decide between two, right?"

"Wrong."

"What do you mean, Ranma-kun?"

"Don't ya get it? Ain't nobody doin' this cause they wanna, they're all bein' forced, one way er another. Most of it's my pops fault, Ukyo, yer sister, and even Shampoo kinda. Th' forced engagements, Shampoo's dumb laws ...who th' hell'd wanna some weirdo like me anyway? Not that I care, trainin's all that matters. How can I 'choose' ta force someone inta somethin' like that fer the rest a' their lives?"

"Oh my, oh my, oh my... That is not true at all, Ranma-kun! I will admit that you are a bit rough around the edges, but you are a wonderful young man, who deserves to be happy, many girls would be thrilled to marry you. I have talked to those two, they do not really care about the deals your father made, or the laws of Shampoo's village, they ...ne, WE are all here because we like you, and want to see you be happy."

"But how can I be happy, when any choice I make'll hurt th' others? I'm a martial artist, I'm supposed ta protect people, how can I do somethin' that'd hurt one a' th' few friends I got? I choose Shampoo an' I hurt my oldest friend, I choose Ucchan, an' Shampoo'll be crushed, and who know what'll happen with their crazy laws! I don't know much about 'em, but just lookit what happened last time with that cat curse! What'd happen if I actually married someone else?"

"...Execution, or exile until you agree." Kasumi muttered under her breath, but that did not prevent Ranma from hearing her.

"Huh? What'd ya say? What'd ya know about this, Kasumi-san?"

She did not want to give up her friend's secret, but the concern in his voice made her unable to refuse. "Shampoo did not want me to tell you, and influence your decision, but ...their laws can be strict, depending on their council's decision, it seems that Cologne-san only had a limited influence in their decisions, and can only override them in extreme cases. Doing so for her own family would certainly look bad, and could cause problems with them."

Ranma's shoulders slumped, he had always wondered how anyone could intentionally curse their own their own grandchild... "Why's everythin' always gotta be so complicated? Why can't I jus' beat someone up, an' make th' problem go away?"

"Not every problem can be solved with violence, Ranma-kun."

"It sure would make life easier though, wouldn't it?"

"Oh my no! That would be terrible! Maybe for strong people like you, who love to fight, but for the rest of us, it would be a nightmare!"

"No! Kasumi-san! I didn't mean it like that, I just meant MY problems! 'Sides, no matter what happens, anyone who wants ta mess with ya, they gotta get through me first! I won't let nobody hurt ya, never!"

Kasumi buried her face in Ranma's chest to hide her light blush. "You cannot make a promise like that, we will not always be together." Her mild jest sent a sharp pain through her heart, distracting her briefly before focusing on the matter at hand.

"Well, if ya ever need me, I'll come. It don't matter what I gotta do ta get there."

"Thank you, but you do not need to worry about me, I will be just fine..."

"Like when that prince guy showed up, er did ya WANT me ta leave ya there?" Ranma tried to be as light hearted in his tone as he could, to assure her that he was simply teasing.

"Um, yes, well, I guess it could have been worse, but I am glad it worked out the way it did. I only wish you had not gotten so hurt in the process."

"It's okay, it was worth it, not only did ya not get hurt er nuthin', but also I gotta fight with a strong guy too as a bonus ...so that was fun too."

Kasumi was not certain how she felt about his reaction, but was glad that he had not held a grudge against her for it, and that they had changed the subject before he had pried too deeply into Shampoo's secrets.

"But, what was that ya said, about Shampoo?"

'Fuu...' "Well, I was not really supposed to say..." Kasumi was reluctant to disclose her friends private matters, but she also felt that he had a right to know, and she did hate to lie.

"Come on, Kasumi-san, what did ya mean?"

"Well, the way it was explained to be, the most likely punishment, other than execution, is to be exiled until you have either agreed to honor the marriage, or one of you die. Apparently, due to the previous kiss of death, they have the option of just killing you and Shampoo's honor would be intact, but refuses to do it, no matter who asks."

"Damn that old ghoul!"

"No, from what I was told, Cologne had not suggested it, it had been that Mousse fellow, and others from the village."

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NOTES?

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Writer's Notice: I am willing to sell out the integrity of this story for large sums of cash.

The mysteries abound, who is doing what, and why? When will we know? Tune in next time and maybe we will find out, when we see, 'From the Spoiled, comes the Challenge', or 'Heavenly Hugs'.


	32. Chapter 32

Warning: If this story offends you, well, you shouldn't still be reading it then, huh?

Chapter 32 - Singing in the Rain

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Ukyo raced from the school, glad to only have a half day that day, giving her several hours before she had to open for her usual crowds. Her assistant silently watched as she tore through the restaurant and up to her room for several moments before yelling "Found it!" and running back out.

"Konatsu, Ah need ya set up th' store fer th' aftahnoon rush. Got an errand, Ah'll be back as fast as Ah can!" With that, the young chef dashed back out of her place, and toward the shopping district, kicking up any light trash in the breeze she left in her wake.

"Again? Yes, Mistress..." Watching Ukyo leave, the young kunoichi contemplated how this had become quite commonplace over the last several months.

As she neared her destination, her foot struck something, sending her sprawling into the wall of the closest building. After rubbing her head and letting out several expletives, Ukyo stood, dusting herself off as she continued to complain about the interruption.

"Excuse me, Miss, are you all right?"

"Yeah, Ah guess so, ain't nuthin' broken. Thank ya fer askin'." Ukyo dusted herself off before climbing back to her feet.

"You seem like you are after something important."

"Ya could say that." Having finished straightening her outfit, and not wanting to pull a Ryoga, she took a moment to reorient herself.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Not unless ya know where Ah kin git a love potion, er cast a spell, er somethin'." Ukyo chuckled at her ridiculous request.

"Well, I do not really know about any of that, but perhaps the psychic in there can help you?" The older gentleman nodded toward ahead of them both.

Looking at the sign of the building she had hit, she saw that it was indeed, a fortune teller shop. 'This must be fate!' "Hey, thanks Mister."

"No problem, I hope it helps you find what you are looking for." He bowed before going back about his business.

Returning the bow, Ukyo turned to face the small building, grateful that she had not done too much damage to the brick wall surrounding the place. Behind the wall was what appeared to be a miniature temple, several stories high, and she had to admit, she found it quite impressive.

As she entered the building, the strong smell of incense felt as if it almost punched her in the face and she almost regretted opening the door. The room was filled with strange decor, some of it rather macabre, such as skulls and scary masks, it made Ukyo chuckle.

"Come in. Come in. I've been expecting you." The wrinkly old woman sat behind a table, beckoning her to enter. Her long white hair was tied loosely behind her, and she was wearing a considerable amount of jewelry.

"Really?" Ukyo could not believe her ears, this woman must be the real deal!

"Of course my dear, the great Shiwababa-sama sees all!" Considering the noise she had made upon her arrival, the soothsayer figured most of the neighborhood had to have noted her landing.

Ukyo continued to glance around the room, examining whatever caught her eye. "Ya got any magic wishin' swords, er anythin' like that?"

"I did have a monkey's paw, but you wouldn't want that, misfortune follows anyone who uses it. Why don't you have a seat, and we can see what the crystal ball can see?" She tapped her long black fingernails on the hard table.

"What can ya tell meh about mah fiancee? Where are we gonna git married? How many kid're we gonna have?" Ukyo heard a click as the old woman passed her hands over the clear ball and chanted the sutras. The ball filled with a smoky white light, and the woman's eye rolled back in her head. Ukyo found it difficult to look away from the strange shaking her face was doing as she chanted.

"I see a strong young man, with long black hair-."

"RANCHAN! That's mah Ranchan!"

"I see that this young man likes you very much."

"Then why's takin' so long ta propose?"

"Well, you know how young men are, always too shy for their own good. Sometimes you just have go for it, that is how I got my first husband!"

"So, ya think I kin do it?"

"Well, nothing is ever certain, if you want to be sure, you should also purchase some of these good luck charms. Would you like a Beckoning Cat, or a Daruma Doll?"

"Ever' one that's gunna help meh with mah marriage!" The frustrated chef's face lit up at the thought that something could assist in her endeavor.

With a twinkle in her eye, and a grin on her face, the elderly woman slowly walked to the back room, returning with several small charms. "Here you go my dear. First we have the pink maneki-neko, this one encourages love to bloom. Next we have the yellow one which invites a happy marriage. The white Daruma doll is to bring you love and harmony. For it to work, you need to make a wish upon it. First take it home and paint the left eye, then make your wish, and paint the right eye after your wish comes true. So, which would you like to get my dear?"

Ukyo quickly stood as she slammed a fistful of bills on the table. "Ah'll take ten a' each!"

The old woman suddenly looked a decade younger as yen signs flashed in her eyes before running to gather the rest of the requested charms. After finalizing the sale, she watched another excited young woman leave her shop. "Another rube. There's one born every minute!" The old woman got her cackle under control as a beautiful teen in a Furinkan High uniform entered the small room. "Oh, hello Miyo-chan, did you have a good day at school?"

"Yes Grandmother, how about you?"

"It was a very profitable day."

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"Ranma-kun?" Still holding each other in an embrace, Kasumi could not help but inquire what he had been doing before she noticed him.

"Yeah, Kasumi-san?"

"While I do not wish to discourage you from what you are doing now, I was wondering what you were doing with that chest."

"I- I, wasn't doin' nuthin' with yer chest, I swear! My hands're behind ya! Couldn't ya feel 'em?"

Not waning to let him get away, Kasumi held on with all she had as he quickly let go and backed away. "Oh my... No, not MY chest, that one you are about to- Whooopsie!" To her credit, she managed to keep her arms around Ranma's neck even as he stumbled over the trunk in question, landing with a loud 'thud' on the floor behind it.

Ranma was far more stunned from the softness pressing against him from above than the jar to his back, but most of all, the gentle caressing of their lips touching had absorbed all of his remaining attention, preventing him from moving.

Kasumi could not believe what had happened, it was just like one of those naughty anime Nabiki liked to watch upon occasion. She was so surprised by the unlikely landing, that she froze for a moment, in what appeared to be a passionate kiss from the outside. One chibi-Kasumi suddenly appeared and began to whisper into her ear. "Oh my, how embarrassing! Should you not try to free your arms and help Ranma-kun stand?" With no further warning, a second chibi-Kasumi with cute little horns appeared on her other shoulder, whispering into her other ear. "Doesn't it feel good? Should you not enjoy it while you can? Mother was encouraging it anyway, this is to help the boy, remember?" The first chibi-Kasumi thought about that for a moment. "That is true, it IS good to help people..."

With that, the two chibi figures vanished, and Kasumi relaxed a bit, and held Ranma's head still as she secretly savored the feeling of his lips upon hers.

Ranma did not want to force Kasumi off of him, and he could not think of any other way to get to his feet that would not possibly hurt her, so he just put his arms around her so that she did not fall.

Encouraged by his 'bold' action, the young homemaker followed her instincts.

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Akane had been having a bad feeling all day, and all of the questions from the other students had not helped matters, which made her glad to be out of school for the day. She was not certain what was causing these feelings of discomfort, but she was positive that Ranma probably has something to do with it, and if she found out what it was, she would not like it!

She was trying to enjoy a stroll in the park to lighten her mood since the weather was so nice, though she knew she had to go home at some point. The youngest Tendo had tried to keep their home clean, but had given it up rather quickly as futile, and tried to eat before she went home to avoid having to eat anything she cooked herself. It was only her and the fathers anyway, and all things equal, she would just as soon avoid them whenever possible. Even when Mousse had helped them clean up the place, did not help for very long.

No matter what the young woman thought of eating, nothing really sounded 'right', the only thing she knew for sure was that she did NOT want French food, okonomiyaki, nor ramen! Spotting a takoyaki stand, she decided that it was at least convenient and far better than anything she could make herself, and walked that direction.

"So, we meet again, Akane Tendo-san. What are you doing over here at this time of day?" The tall Chinese boy casually walked up next to her as she walked.

Akane just pointed toward the food cart. "It's not like I can eat at home."

"What is wrong?"

She just snorted. "Who's gonna cook, me?"

"No? Would you like me to make something for you again?"

"You would do that?"

"I do not see why not, I have little else to do at the moment, unless my cooking is not good enough for you."

Akane was not exactly sure if that was supposed to be an insult or not, but the prospect of a home-cooked meal of something other than instant noodles or curry from a package made her mouth water and she almost started drooling right there. "You'd do that for me?"

"Certainly, we are friends, are we not?"

Akane just nodded, feeling a tightness in her chest.

"There is still plenty of time before the evening meal, why don't we go get some fresh ingredients, you can tell me what you would like."

All of her previous anger forgotten, Akane fell into step behind the taller boy, eager to enjoy 'real food' again.

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Once again, Kasumi had completely lost track of time while within the comforting embrace of this younger man, something she never would have considered even possible not that long ago. It was supposed to be her encouraging the younger people, and even the older ones upon occasion! No one had ever really been there to support her before, not since her mother had died and her father had grown even more emotionally distant anyway. She had always needed to be the pillar of the family, their rock of stability, yet here she was being assuaged by her junior, and for some reason ...she could not tear herself away!

Unable to move and uninterrupted, Ranma allowed himself to trust in the older woman, as he was cuddled, unsure if it would last forever, nor if he would necessarily object to that if it were the case. The main problem was that this situation was making him feel guilty and rather nervous, leaving him wondering why nothing bad had happened yet. He just knew something was going to come along and thing were going to end violently, and soon. If he did not want Kasumi to get hurt, he needed to be ready.

It had taken most of her strength and leverage, but Kasumi had finally managed to roll over onto her back, pulling Ranma along with her so that he would be lying on top of her, and she felt a wicked pleasure as his warm body pressed down upon her own. She kept one hand firmly on the back on his neck while letting the other slowly trace lines on his back as she brought their lips together once again.

Ranma's braid stood straight out from his neck as he tried to figure out what was happening, and why he was unable to resist 'any' of it. Every touch sent shivers throughout his body, and made fireworks explode in his head, and his sense of his surroundings was next to zero.

As Kasumi's movements grew slightly more bold, they gently rolled into the washing machine, preventing further progress, and causing the box of dryer sheets to tumble from the shelf, and bounce off of Ranma's head. The startled young man jumped back so suddenly, that Kasumi had been unable to keep her grip, and before she knew what had happened, he was on the other side of the room. "Wait, Ranma-kun, please, you said that you would not leave."

Moving on long practiced instincts, Ranma prostrated himself on the floor, unwilling to even look up from his position on the floor. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't know how that happened! Go ahead an' hit me, as much as ya want! I promise, it'll never happen again!"

"Please, do not say that, Ranma-kun. I would 'never' hit you, for any reason." Quickly crossing the room, the gentle young woman caressed the back of his head, hoping to ease his mind. "I am not upset with you, Ranma-kun, I only wish you had enjoyed it, but I suppose there is no way you could not be happy kissing an old woman like me..."

"It ain't like that! ...an' ya ain't old neither! Heck, we're basically th' same age, an' ya look better than just about anybody I know!"

"You should not lie to your elders, Ranma-kun, it is not nice."

"I ain't lyin', yer one a' th' prettiest women in Japan, ya gotta know that!"

"How can you say such things? You know so many better looking girls, almost every girl you know is beautiful, even your mother, they are all so much better looking than a homely girl like me."

"I'd bet if there was a beauty contest, ya'd beat'm all, even me!"

"Oh stop, there is no way that would ever happen!"

"If the judges ain't bind it would..."

Kasumi's blush was glowing so brightly, Ranma could almost see it from where he stared at the floor, even her toes were pink. "Ranma-kun! I told you that you should not lie."

"I could never lie to ya, Kasumi-san."

Still unwilling to take the complement, she decided to change the subject, and pull him to his feet. "Where did you find this cute thing?" There was a glint in her eye as she held up the plush oni.

"Huh? Oh, I guess that was in the attic, near that trunk a' Shampoo's stuff. Did ya want it?"

"Oooo, really? Do you mean it?"

"Why not? Ya said everythin' that was in here, came with the house when ya got it, so it's yers by rights."

"Yours. I told you before, this is your house, I gave it to you, but thank you nonetheless."

"An' I told ya, I can't take something like that as a gift! It's just too much, Kasumi-san, ya can't do that!"

"It is my money, and if Nabiki-chan taught me anything, it is that I can do whatever I want with my money. If I wish to give a very small portion of it to a friend who is very dear to me, then that is exactly what I will do. You do not need to worry about me, if you no longer want me around, I will go back to Father's house ...or perhaps look for a new one of my own."

"I would leave before I would ask you to."

"I do hope not, the entire reason I bought this house was so that you did not 'have' to leave."

"Well, it ain't like I wanna leave."

"That is good, many of us, including myself, would be very unhappy if you did."

"Maybe, but yer lives'd be a lot easier, I'd bet."

"That is a bet you would lose."

"But, what about all th' problems that happen 'cause a' me?"

"And all of the ways in which you help. Did you know, in the last several months, I have had more free time than I have in the last eight years? Do you have any idea how many books I have read, how many new things I have tried, how many new things I have learned?"

"No, I got no idea."

"Nether do I! That is how many new experiences I have has since you started helping me around the house, I cannot count them all."

"I ain't th' only one!"

"No, you are correct, you are all very helpful, but none of that ever happened before you started it. I was not even aware of how much I did around the house until you came along, and I was the one doing it. You were the first person to ever offer to help me of their own accord. Everyone just expected me to do everything, because I always had. The only exception to that was when Akane-chan would try and help cook, and well..."

"Ya ain't gotta tell me, Kasumi-san, I've lived it. I have had ta eat more a' it than anybody!"

"No, actually, you haven't. We have never been a well off family, and we have never been able to afford to waste food, no matter how it was prepared, nor who made it. From my earliest failures, to Akane-chan's attempts to 'help', we have had to eat it all. Even when it was left over, Father and I would finish it for our lunches, while you have been here less than a year."

"Oh my, Kasumi, I am so sorry, I had no idea!"

"I am sorry we made you suffer alone, it was just that it had been so long, and as long as the food got eaten..."

"Nah, it's okay, Kasumi-san, ya ain't th' one that can't boil water, but insists upon cooking an' not following th' recipes! Anyone should be able ta do that, it's just like learnin' a new technique, first ya learn how th' move works first, only then do ya try an' make it yer own. Akane's like a person's whose never trained, tryin' ta learn advanced moves from an anime. It just ain't gonna work like that."

"Well, you may have a point..." She did not want to admit it, but her little did have a tendency to skip steps.

"Akane wants ta cook like ...well, Kasumi-san, without learnin' th' basics, er even payin' attention. Cares more about trin' ta act a certain way an' doin' it, than what ya put in it, er how it comes out. I mean, do ya start off breakin' a whole pile a bricks, er do ya start off by toughenin' up yer hands, and then somethin' softer, like one board?"

"Interesting. Do you always compare everything to martial arts?"

"Everythin' IS th' art, and th' art is everythin'. Even cookin' and cleanin' is an art, an' ya make it look beautiful."

Kasumi blushed and turned away. "No, I am nothing special. Anyone could do what I do, mothers all over the world do it."

"But ya ain't a mother, an' ya do it better than anyone I've seen. Ya can't hide it from me, I've studied what ya do, 'cause I wanted ta learn from th' best, an' I saw how ya handle th' house. Ya don't waste any movements, an' everything is timed perfectly, it's like one a' th' most graceful kata I have ever seen."

Kasumi's flushed skin grew brighter again, not used to such complements. It was not as if people had not complemented her skills in general, even her family would rave about her cooking, but for some reason this felt very different, thus she grew even more shy and modest than normal. She had no idea why his words were affecting her the way they were, it was not as if this were the first time he had said similar things either. Did it have something to do with what had just happened, her special 'training' with Nodoka, or was it all of Ranma's special 'homework' that was causing this? The images of some of the activities she had been talked into doing recently flashed through her mind, and suddenly she wanted to hide, her toes started to curl, and she got a strange feeling in her loins.

Ranma was caught off guard when Kasumi suddenly looked strained and ran toward the restroom with her hands between her legs. "Well, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go..."

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"I think you made the correct choice, my dear, there is nothing wrong with going with what you know best." Nodoka looked over the ingredients they had picked up so far.

"Variety is spice, yes?"

"That is what they say. Is there anything else you would like to know?"

"Think Shampoo substitution blend okay?"

"From what you told me, as long as nothing is too strong, you should get a nice combination of flavors. It is certainly the first time I have ever seen it use that way though..."

"Shampoo want thank, no make before yesterday, and Kasumi-onee-chan no make either."

"It is no problem at all, I am happy to help any of my son's girlfriends. Why don't you tell me a little bit more about yourself? We barely know each other."

While 'girlfriend' was a bit softer term than she would have preferred, few others were even willing to go that far, and she did like the sound of it, 'kanojo', it was nice to be acknowledged as legitimate. "What Mother want know?"

"How about you tell me about your life in your village?"

"For Shampoo, was mostly training. Start train with Grandmother soon after mother die."

"Oh dear, I am sorry."

"Is okay, was long time go, no hurt much now, but Father no can teach fight too too much..."

"I thought that I heard your female warriors needed to be beaten in battle to get married."

"No is needed for all marriage, depend on situation, but Father have special technique, use bring Mother to knee ...many time. Promise teach Shampoo husband once married, but no get Ranma visit yet."

The elder of the two women looked thoughtful for a moment, staring off into the distance and rubbing her chin. "I think that I might like to meet this father of yours..."

"No is first time, many womans want help console after Mother pass, though no many get chance. Shampoo think Father be too too picky."

"Now now, everyone has a right to have high standards, as long as they are happy with the results. ...So, what do you do for fun?"

"In village?" Seeing her smiling companion nod, the young woman had to consider her options, it felt like so long ago since she had done anything fun with anyone from her home. "Other than train, Shampoo favorite thing was sing around bonfire and listen to story telling."

"You like to sing?" Nodoka was delighted, she had always enjoyed karaoke with her friends.

Shampoo did not miss the excitement displayed before her, and did not wish to disappoint her would be mother-in-law. "Is song from movie Shampoo Father take see as child, become song show resilience of Chinese people, but Shampoo like think also apply to village. Is Ode to Plumb Blossom."

The young woman's voice filled the air, and many of the pedestrians stopped to listen to her lovely song. Nodoka was captivated by the sound, caught off guard by how delicate the 'barbaric' girl's voice could be.

"Hong yan shang hong mei kai,

"Qianli bingshuang jiaoxia cai,

"Sanjiu yanhan he suo ju,

"Yipian danxin xiangyang kai xiangyang kai,

"Hong meihua er kai duo duo fang guangcai,

"Angshou nufang hua wan duo xiang piao yuntian wai,

"Huanxing baihua qi kaifang,

"Gaoge huan qing xinchun lai xinchun nyaaaaan..."

Nodoka did her best to protect their purchases from the sudden downpour that were so common around Nerima. "Oh dear, and here we are without an umbrella." The storm was short lived, but it's 'damage' had been done, and Nodoka found herself looking down at an adorable kitten poking its head out from inside of a silk dress. "Oh dear."

Shampoo-neko looked up quizzically at the older woman, wondering what she would make of the situation, almost expecting her to run away like her son. "Nyaa?"

To Shampoo's surprise, Nodoka just picked her up and placed her on her shoulder. "We had better take care of this first." Being careful not to cause the feline to fall from her perch, she leaned down to shake and fold Shampoo's garments before placing them in one of their bags. "Now, let us head home and get you changed."

"Nyaan."

"You are welcome, my dear. I may not have had any idea what you were saying, but your voice was lovely."

"Nyaaaa!" The proud pastel pussycat pawed her partner's shoulders, being careful not to dig in her claws as she tried to show her appreciation for the complement, instinctively rubbing her face against the other woman's. "Puuuurrrrr..."

"Mmmmm, you are good at this." Nodoka returned the favor by scratching the kitten behind the ears as she walked. Neither of them were paying particular attention to their location, and found themselves in a dead end ally. "Whoops, I am sorry about that, Child."

Nodoka turned around and almost jumped out of her skin as a huge white dog stood before her, sniffing the air and blocking her way. Blocking the entrance to the ally, the Samoyed cocked its head to the side as it slowly stalked forward, still sniffing. Slowly backing away, the nervous woman clutched their bags to her chest as the traumatic memories of a childhood attack flooded back to her. "Oh no! ...Bi- big d- d- dog!"

Shampoo felt the older woman tense up her muscles and it reminded her of sitting on Ranma as a cat when his fear started to take over his mind. Not really certain what was happening, she was not about to allow her 'mother-in-law' to come to harm while she was around, and jumped down, landing lightly in front of her.

"N- n- no, sta- sta- stay ...behind me!" Shaking in fear, the older woman tried to motion to the fragile-looking feline as she tried to suppress her recollection of the ordeal in her past.

"Nyaan." As the meter high mongrel tried to walk around her, Shampoo moved to intercept him, batting at him with her paws, and not allowing him to pass.

"Ru- Run Child! Get away from there!"

Getting frustrated at being blocked, it tried to charge forward, planting to power passed the much smaller animal.

Seeing the enormous hound tense to charge, Shampoo launched herself at it, only to bounce off of his thick, matted fur. Not even bothering to shake herself off, she leapt onto the dog's head, and pulling on his ears caused him to veer off to the side, missing the frightened older woman by scant centimeters. As he brushed passed Nodoka, Shampoo-neko hopped off, keeping herself between the two with a loud 'hiss'.

As the persistent pooch tried to circle them, Shampoo tried to think of her options, The thick fur was like armor, preventing her claws from getting through in most places, so she could try to attack its face and risk getting bitten, or she could try that other option... Remembering what Ranma had taught her, she first built up her battle aura and tried to focus it, only to realize that without hands, she might have trouble focusing her ki as normal.

Nodoka could not believe her eyes as the image of a large pink and purple panther, standing almost as tall as she was, appeared where the small feline had been. It's roar sent shockwaves rumbling down the ally, knocking over trash cans, and pushing the canine onto his posterior.

Her aura fading, Shampoo proudly rubbed against Nodoka's ankles, even if that had not gone as planned, it had been an impressive display even by her own estimation. "Puuurrrrr..."

"Souichiro, there you are! Don't look at me like that. Bad doggie! You should not run away from me like that!" The further whimpers echoed down the ally.

After being calmed by the feeling of the soft fur, and the purrs of the now normal sized cat Nodoka started to relax, mentally chiding herself for her inability to act. Picking Shampoo back up, she petted her head, and enjoyed the feeling of the vibrations on her neck. "Well aren't you just the little hero? You saved me and our dinner! My guard-kitty. Now let us clean up this mess, then go home and get you a nice treat!"

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Whenever Kasumi had gotten that certain feeling, she had been doing what her 'sensei' had taught her, and used the small 'massager' to relieve her 'tensions'. It had seemed odd to her at first, but being the 'good girl' she was, she was not one to question her elders, she followed orders and now she found it quite ...pleasant, certainly Nodoka knew her business. Unfortunately, she was still feeling strange even after the going through the exercise she had learned, several times, and she was embarrassed to consider what Ranma must have thought was taking her so long! Suddenly, the young woman had an epiphany, if she left it in place at all times, then she would only need to adjust her dial as needed! What a wonderful idea, why had nobody thought of that before?

Proud of her ingenious solution, Kasumi cleaned up her mess, straightened her outfit, and returned to the laundry room to find Ranma standing there looking worried. "Everythin' all right, Kasumi-san?"

"Could not be better now, thank you very much for your concern, Ran-ma-kun. How are 'you' feeling?"

"Uh, I'm okay, I guess, but I ain't used ta washin' this much silk at once. Ain't sure where ta start..."

"You never did explain to me why you are doing this. Why are you washing so many of Shampoo's dresses?"

Ranma shied away, embarrassed at admitting his fault. "I kind a' got 'em dirty, an' I wanted ta wash 'em before I had ta say anythin'."

"You are not planning to keep this a secret then?"

"No, of course not, a man's gotta own up to their actions."

"Okay then!" Suddenly in her element, Kasumi's mood appeared to soar even higher. "Please allow me to help you, the first thing we need is a big tub of cold water!"

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Ukyo had finished her shopping, and still had a bit more time before she needed to head back to her restaurant, and decided to pay a visit to a shrine she passed regularly. If the luck charms she had did not help, she could always implore the gods!

She started to regret her decision about halfway up the stairs, but steeled her resolve and redoubled her pace, not wanting to make the mistake of allowing Konatsu to open the shop alone again. She did not think she could afford that again any time soon! One day she would have to teach her assistant the value of a yen, but she was kind of afraid what might happen once it came out how little she was actually paying her impoverished employee.

"Oh, it is you again! Did you want to do some work around the shrine today?"

"Oh, no, Ah can't, not now, Ah gotta git ta work soon, but Ah WILL take that discount ya promised meh!"

The priest was still uncertain as to how she had gotten him to agree to that in the first place, even if she HAD helped him out once in a while, along with that cute assistant of hers! Then he remembered the kunoichi kissing him, and he promptly and happily agreed to just about anything. At least few of their services had any material cost, so even with a reduction in price, they would still be making a hefty profit. "So what is it you wanted?"

"Ema, omamori, fortunes, and any other luck charms you can give me!"

'Well, at least we will make up for the loss in volume!' "Certainly, other than 'the discounted kind', what kind of luck are you wanting today?"

"Gimmeh some yaku-yoke ta help avoid th' evil one, all a' yer en-musubi fer mah love and marriage, throw in some anzan just in case we get lucky, an' while we're at it, some shoubai-hanjou couldn't hurt either. Also, how many ema do you have prepared that will not be destroyed by an ugly sacred animal?"

Blushing, the old man rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand, while holding out a small placard with his left. "Just the one with my picture on it! Ahahaha!"

She did not want to use the wishing plaque with the old priest's self portrait, no matter how well drawn it was, but she did not want her wish to be destroyed either, so she decided she did not have a choice. "Fine, Ah'll take it!"

"Oh stop, you're embarrassing me!"

"That weren't praise."

After paying for her charms, she sat down to think about her wish, she only have one chance at this, since she could not risk any of the mans' others ema, and wanted to word it well. 'Ah Hope Ah git married soon, an' Meh and Ranchan're happy fer th' rest a' our lives!'

Happy with her wording, Ukyo hung her ema, and uttered a short prayer for it to be heard, before heading back over to the temple to look for the priest. Handing over a coin, she looked him in the eye. "Gimme an o-mikuji!" Taking the bamboo container, she shook it for all she was worth, praying for the best luck.

Picking up the first stick that fell out of the wooden box, the priest looked at the number, and went to retrieve the corresponding fortune. "Here you go, Ojou-sama."

Ukyo took the small scroll with a thanks before unrolling it. "Shoukichi, shussan? Small blessing for childbirth? What? Well, that's less than overwhelming, but Ah guess ya take what ya kin git!" Pocketing the fortune, Ukyo suddenly stiffened. "Wait! 'Zat mean Ah'm gonna have a baby soon?" The young chef could not remember the last time she had felt so excited and hopeful! "That's th' BEST luck!"

"What? 'Best' luck? That shouldn't have been in that slot... Oh well, no matter."

Going through her pockets, she dumped everything else she had into the donation box before praying to the kami and making one last wish. "Please, don't let that evil witch beat meh in th' contest ta-night!"

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"Hey, thanks fer helpin' me with this, Kasumi-san, I really appreciate it."

"It is no problem at all, I am glad to help you in any way I can, and I do so enjoy doing the laundry." She finished loading everything into the basket as they walked to their latest impromptu clothesline together.

"I'm sure ya saved me a lot a' time."

"It's the least I could do."

"Well, nah, ya could a' done nuthin', like our fathers, er ya could a' made stuff worse, like some others... Well, now that I think about it, maybe ya couldn't a' done that after all ...not an' still be 'Kasumi-san'." Ranma chuckled at his little joke.

"Oh my! I could never do that to anyone, especially someone that, I ...like."

Ranma had not quite made out the end of her statement, but had already figured she would find it difficult to intentionally make things harder for someone, and assumed the rest was similar. "Yeah, I didn't think so, but thanks anyway."

"No, thank you, Ranma-kun."

"Fer what?"

"For the gift, and for always helping me as well." '...Like earlier.'

"Yer th' one always givin' me stuff, so if there's every anythin' ya need me ta do..."

Kasumi spoke softly, not really wanting to be heard. "You have given me plenty, Ranma-kun." Hanging the last dress on the line, she turned back to face him. "Now that we are done here, how would you like a snack while we wait for the others to get home?"

"That'd be great, thanks, Kasumi-san!"

After the two of them cleaned up the rest of their mess, they carried the baskets back to the laundry room, and admired how many garments were still hanging in there as well. They had needed to hang up strings in a couple of rooms to let everything dry without leaving it out where the sun could damage it, and it had taken them quite a while. Kasumi had been glad there had been two of them, trying to do all of that alone would have taken considerably more time and effort, even if she was the additional one. "It feels good to have a job completed, do you not agree?"

"Yeah, I guess so, it sure beats havin' it waitin' on ya!" The chuckling martial artist opened the kitchen door, hesitating for a moment as he heard a certain sound.

"For me? Thank you Ranma-kun, you are such a gentleman." Kasumi giggled as she passed through the door, only vaguely curious as to why Ranma had not followed immediately.

"Tadaima, is anyone else home?"

"Mom! Oh good, I thought I heard a ...CAT!"

"Nyaa?" Seeing Ranma start to panic a bit, Shampoo bolted passed him, and into the waiting arms of Kasumi, who turned to put herself between Ranma and his greatest fear. Within moments, Kasumi had teakettle in hand and was pouring it over Shampoo's tiny body, watching it growing into her full sized form. "No matter how many times I see that..."

The nude young woman threw her arms around her older friend. "Shampoo thank, Big sister always know what is need!"

"I saw the rain cloud pass over earlier, I figured it might be needed by ...someone."

Breaking off her hug, she hopped over to where Ranma was still averting his eyes. "Is okay, can look now." The moment his eyes opened, she threw her arms around him, almost cutting off his wind.

"Hey Shampoo, glad yer back, but ya mind gittin' dressed?" Ranma only put up token resistance, feeling a bit guilty for his initial reaction to her cursed form.

"Aiyaa! Is okay, Shampoo no mind. Is glad be back too!" Not letting him go, she rubbed her face in his chest, enjoying the feeling.

"But, yer not..."

"Now, now Ranma, you should never be so rude to a lady, it is not manly." Nodoka gave him a stern glance before winking toward Shampoo.

"But I..."

"Not another word. This outfit got dirty, you three wait here, while I go get you a replacement." Nodoka turned to leave as Kasumi gave her pause.

"Wait, Mother, the laundry room is ...in use. Be careful if you go in there."

"Thank you my dear, I will be careful."

"Oh, the den, the gym, and Ranma's room as well."

"Hum?" Nodoka rose her eyebrows, as she turned to leave.

Also still feeling a bit guilty for getting her clothing dirty, Ranma gave up what little protest that remained of the 'glomp', and kept his eyes on Kasumi who had begun looking through the cupboards as he cautiously returned the embrace.

"What would you like, Ranma-kun?"

"Airen want too too beautiful wife, yes?" Using her index finger, she 'drew' a heart on his chest, over his own, hoping he would take the hint. It took Shampoo a moment before she could react from the joy of having her hug returned, which was still a fairly unfamiliar, yet welcome experience.

"Whatever ya feel like'd be great! It ain't like ya could make anythin' bad."

"Oh, Ranma-kun, stop..." Kasumi blushed as she spared a glance back toward her friends.

"Is true, want teach Shampoo lots too!"

"That is nice, you two have taught me an awful lot as well. ...I know, how about grilled unagi?" Kasumi pulled the package out of the refrigerator, pleased that she had picked it up that morning.

"Oi, Kasumi-san, that's one a' my favorites!" Ranma's tentative expression turned to one of pure joy.

"I am aware." Kasumi turned her knowing smile toward Ranma before grabbing the cooking sake to make her sauce. "Though your father prefers sukiyaki."

"That's Pops for ya, always tries ta take all th' beef too." Leave it to his old-man to pick one of the more expensive dishes they had ever been served at the Tendos'!

"I always tried to hide a bit for you for later..." She considered making that for their next evening meal, as Genma would not be there to ruin, er- enjoy it.

"Ya did? I wondered why there seemed ta be more 'an I thought in th' middle."

"It just would not do to have only one person enjoy most of it."

"Sometimes, ya really amaze me, Kasumi-san."

"Ranma-kun?" Kasumi paused her cutting to glance over her shoulder.

"Th' way yer always thinkin' ahead an' stuff. Ya never miss nuthin'."

"That is not true, I miss far too much upon occasion, and that is part of how things have gotten so bad... I hope one day, you can forgive us."

"Ya might be th' only person I ain't ever been mad at, don't think I ever could be."

"Why is mad at Shampoo?"

"Fer starters, ya were tryin' ta kill me!"

"Shampoo say sorry, no would happen if know truth."

"How could I a' known? Th' guide said it'd be safer, an' it ain't like we had time ta git hot water... were too hungry, could barely move anymore."

"Great-Grandmother explain to guide when go back, after tell Shampoo how curse work... Guide no make same mistake with village again! But now we get Jusenkyo catalog delivery, so is okay, yes?"

"I guess, but what about-..."

"Shampoo spend rest of life, make up to Ranma! Make too too happy!" She kissed his neck as she rubbed her body against him.

"Ya ain't got a' do that, really, it's fine." Ranma did his best to ignore the sensations he was experiencing, and the feelings that they were producing within him.

"Then, Ranma forgive Shampoo?" She looked up into his eyes, a hopeful expression written plainly across her adorable face.

Ranma could not resist that look, it would have felt too much like kicking a wounded puppy. "Yeah, fine, whatever..."

"Aiyaaaaaa! SO HAPPY! Shampoo spend rest of life try THANK Ranma for show this mercy! Think is how say..."

"Close enough. Here is your clean outfit." Nodoka was thrilled to see that things were still progressing nicely for her future grandchildren!

"Shampoo thank Mother, just leave on counter if please."

"Ranma-kun, I am sure Shampoo-chan would probably appreciate your help getting cleaned up before we eat."

"You do not need to worry, I will stay here and help your other girlfriend get ready." Nodoka's grin never wavered as she watched Shampoo look as if she were about to explode in delight.

"Fine... wait, what?" Ranma never managed to get a reply, nor did he see Kasumi's blush light up the room, as Shampoo quickly pulled him into the hallway.

"Ranma help Shampoo wash, yes?"

"Urk." Ranma 'gulped' as he was dragged down the hallway by the wrist.

"Ranma no want take bath too? Shampoo wash back too too good." The predatory grin he received gave Ranma another mild feline flashback.

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A disappointed Shampoo finished her lonely bath, having had plenty of time to wonder why there were so many dresses hung up to dry in the laundry room. It was not as if she had expected much to happen, but she always held out a little hope, he was slowly improving a bit at a time after all, and one never knew when one's efforts would be rewarded! She was happy to see that he was still waiting for her, and bounded across the room, throwing her arms around him, while almost losing her towel in the process. "Nihao Ranma! Is waiting for Shampoo? SO happy!"

"Um, yeah, well..." Ranma looked away, and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Is helping Shampoo do hair and get in clothes?"

"Uummmm... I, I mean, I, but-." Ranma considered that both his mother and Kasumi had sent him there to help her, and there was not much he could do to get out of it. "Fine ...what'd ya need me ta do?"

"Know how use brush, yes?"

"A' course I do! I ain't stupid ya know?"

"Of course Shampoo know, but manly mens may no know brush womans' hair."

"Uh, well, it ain't like I wanna know, er nuthin'!"

"No worry. Is okay. Is good thing know for mens what like womans." Trying to be as reassuring as possible, the young warrior softly kissed his chest. "Feel too too good have good help do hair. No know this?"

Generally Ranma did his own hair, he had needed to be careful about how and when his hair had been done for so long, even some of the few times he had been given help, it had not ended well. "Not really, no. Thanks ta that dragon whisker, that ain't been a good idea most a' th' time."

"Even as girl?"

"Everyone always makes it too 'girlie'!"

"Help Shampoo, then let Shampoo do. Promise, no make Ranma unhappy. Trust Shampoo?"

"Huh? Yeah, I guess..."

"Aiyaaa! So happy, no regret!" Lithely sitting in front of the mirror, Shampoo fluffed out her damp hair, and handed Ranma her favorite hairbrush. As Ranma began to pull through her tangled hair, she felt it tug. "No, Airen, best starting at bottom, and gently work way up. Take out small knots, before become big. If find bad one, hold hair from above, so no pull out. Is okay?"

It only took a few strokes before he started to get the hang of it, and Shampoo was clearly enjoying the feeling of the bristles lightly scratching her head and stroking the strands of hair. "Could, maybe Ranma also scratch scalp?"

"Oooooooo, is good at this..." Toes curling, Shampoo could not believe how good such a simple thing could feel. She had always enjoyed the feeling before, but never quite this much with anyone else. She did not want him to stop but hearing Kasumi calling them to eat, she knew she could not keep him there for long. "No want keep long, so only show how tie fast, can try next time, if think can."

"Ya don't think I can?"

"We see next time, Airen. Watch close now." With long practiced ease, she quickly formed the buns atop her head. Slowly removing the towel, she leaned in closely, batting her eyelashes. "Now is time to help with dress, is okay? Or want Shampoo stay like this?"

"No! I'll get it fer ya!"

Even if she had been disappointed in him for not joining Shampoo in the bath, she was glad that he was willing to help her with the outfit his mother had prepared for her.

He did not feel right about making her stand around naked for no reason! Sitting on the top of the pile, was a set of lacy underwear. "Wait, 're these yers? I don't remember ya havin' any like this before?"

"Aiyaaa! Ranma noticed Shampoo underthings?"

"Wait! I didn't mean-... It's just I help do laundry, ya know..." Ranma blushed as he rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand.

"Shampoo so happy!" The nude young woman bounced over to throw her arms around his neck, displacing his own hand, and wasted no time before planting her lips upon his own.

"Are you coming? Oh! So manly!" There was a flash as they heard the clicking of a shutter.

Ranma backed away, waving his hands in front of him. "Nabiki? What? It ain't what it looks like! Oh, mom? Why ya takin' pictures?"

Looking at the dress still in his hand, she had to chuckle. "Well that would be quite a shame if it was not, it was starting to look like we were going to have something to celebrate tonight."

"What, ya mean th' cookin' contest?"

Nodoka picked herself up, hoping she had not broken her brand-new camera during her facefaulting, she would have to hurry and use up the film and get it developed to test it. "Just help your girlfriend get dressed, Kasumi-chan is waiting for us."

"I'm sorry, I didn't, it's just-..."

Ignoring his protest, she just smiled at his progress. "Yes, yes, and we are proud that you did, now hurry yourself along."

It had only taken Ranma a moment to realize how the dress fastened as he helped Shampoo's arms through the holes. Wrapping it around her and fastening the clasps as he felt as if his face was ready to explode, and he really wanted to run away, but his mother would always chide him on it.

Nodoka was disappointed that Shampoo had not worn the new undergarments they had bought, but supposed that it would be better to wash them first, and took comfort in how well Ranma had done. "There you go, you look lovely. Now, let's hurry."

The pair quickly followed the older woman back into the kitchen as she rushed them into the kitchen. "Okay, Ranma, you stand here, Shampoo-chan there on the right, and Kasumi-chan, stand on the left." Nodoka waited until they got into position, stepped back and looked at them, framing them off with her fingers, humming to herself. "No no, closer, closer ...good. Now, how about we try the two of you turning to kiss Ranma on the cheek, that would just be adorable!"

"What?" the startled young man stiffened at the thought.

"No, Ranma, you should not move, and do not make that face... now we have to try again. Try to look natural."

"Actually, is 'natural' for Airen." Shampoo stuck out her tongue for a moment, unable to help herself.

"Okay then, 'try to look RELAXED' then! Give us a smile!"

"That smile does not look very natural, let us try that again."

"No no, you blinked."

"Again!"

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Ukyo had a bit of time left before they opened, and she had set out all of her Daruma dolls, placing the small army on her desk. Having so many to work with, she decided it would be easiest to do all of each type and then move on to the next. So she started with the most important, the white ones, and placed them in a row before her. Remembering the instructions, she retrieved her brush, and focused on her love from Ranma, holding her desire to be loved in return firmly in her mind.

"Now, Ah'm supposed ta paint th' left eye. ...Wait, was that supposed to be mah left, er its? Damn! Maybe if Ah do half one way, an' half th' other it'll work out... Ah should at least have half as much luck, anyway!"

With each one she painted, she placed it on the top shelf to dry, and wait for the day for her dreams to come true. After repeating this process seventy times, she was barely able to contain her excitement, nor the soreness of her wrist! She hoped the gods would not think badly of her for not knowing which left to paint, but she would not allow that to damper her mood as she ran down the stairs, ready for her first customer of the afternoon.

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NOTES

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Translating the song Shampoo sang, or rather the verse of the song she sang...

Ode to the Red Plum Blossom

English Translation by windriver (夏河)

(slightly edited)

Up high on the crimson rock ridge

is where red plum flowers grow.

Rooted in the frost they overlook

the thousands of frigid miles below.

Severe winter scares them not,

for in the sunshine their scarlet hearts glow,

their scarlet hearts glow. Meoooow...

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Good Luck Charms:

Ema - wish plaque. Literally, this means 'picture horse'. They are small wooden plaques used in Shinto and Buddhist temples for people to buy and write a wish upon them, and then hung up somewhere in the temple, for the gods to grant their wishes. In the manga, Ukyo worked part time at one such shrine, and the gang had an issues with the mascot.

-!-

Omamori - charms

Yaku-yoke -、voidance of evil

Kaiun -｛pen luck, better fortune

Gakugyou-jouju - education and passing examinations-for students and scholars

Shoubai-hanjou - prosperity in business-success in business and matters of money

En-musubi - acquisition of a mate and marriage-available for singles and couples to ensure love and marriage

Anzan - protection for pregnant women for a healthy pregnancy and easy delivery

-!-

Daruma - a good luck charm that's used to wish for something. People paint the left eye first and make a wish, and paint the right eye after the wish comes true. The color of the daruma doll varies depending on what someone is wishing for.

Red: For good luck and fortune

Purple: For health and longevity

Yellow: For security and protection

Gold: For wealth and prosperity

White: For love and harmony

Black: For health; wards off evil

Blue: Improves academics

-!-

Beckoning Cat (maneki neko) - A cat shaped good luck charm, who holds an ancient gold coin called a koban that started in the Edo period. Meowth was based on this design. Like with the other charms in this list, they come in various colors, each representing a different type of luck.

Calico: Invites good fortune and luck (thought to be the luckiest color)

White: Invites good fortune

Black: Protects from illness and disease; wards off evil

Gold: Invites fortune and wealth

Red: Promotes good health and protects from disease; wards off demons

Pink: Conjures love

Silver: Prosperity and longevity

Blue: Improves academics

Green: Ensures safety

Yellow: Invites happy marriage

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OMAKE 08

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Ukyo had spent the entire day, going from one place to the next, collecting every good luck charm she could find, in hopes that she could give herself a better chance with Ranma. The large Beckoning Cat she had gotten seemed to almost be winking at her, as she decided to start making her way home when she heard the crying of a kitten coming from somewhere nearby.

Looking into the nearby alley, she saw the small feline looking up at her with sad, hungry eyes, and her heart went out to it. She reached into her bags, pulling out one of her pouches of tuna, and as she opened it, she saw dozens of glowing eyes open in the darkness of the dead-end. Before she could place the foil before the hungry kitten, they all started charging toward her, hungry howls filling her ears. Quickly dropping the food, she turned to run, only to have several of them latch onto her, clawing and biting her, looking for more of the tasty smelling food.

After a moment, she managed to throw them off and flee, her feet moving as quickly as they could carry her.

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A young chef is seen running down the road, followed by a clowder of cats, screaming as her arms flailed. Most people did their best to ignore her as she flew passed them, not wanting to become involved in the gaudy spectacle. She tossed any food she was carrying as she attempted to escape, once piece at a time. A few of her pursuers peeled off with her distraction technique, though most had not given up the chase.

By the time she neared the business district, she had even attracted the attention of another, larger stalker. "Be my bride, nyaa!"

"Help meh! They're after meh lucky charms! ...How did mah clothes turn green?"

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Tune in next time for, 'The Luck of the Osakan', or 'Enshrining Shrines'...


	33. Chapter 33

Caution: Reader discretion advised, this chapter contains magical sex changes and exploding pancakes!

Chapter 33 - Food Wars: Shokugeki

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By the time Nodoka had been happy with her photograph, she had finally used up the entire roll of film, and Ranma thought he could still feel their lips pressing against his cheeks. As his mother ran off to have her film developed, heturned to apologize. "Sorry about that, ya know how mom can be."

"Is okay! Shampoo have fun!"

Turning her head away, Kasumi blushed. "I did not mind either, Ranma-kun. It was my pleasure."

"Um, yeah, well, uh, what were we doin' again?"

"Since Shampoo-chan and Kuonji-san will be having their cooking contest in a little while, it seemed like a good idea to have an early snack rather than a normal dinner."

"Oh, that's right, KABAYAKI! Thanks, Kasumi-san!"

"It is not a problem, Ranma-kun, I hope you enjoy it."

Shampoo raised an eyebrow. "What is?"

"Broiled eel."

"Is what? Really eat that? Shampoo hear blood is poison!"

"Not if it is prepared correctly. The blowfish is poisonous as well, but if one knows how, then it can be prepared safely, and it Is a delicacy. You need to be very skilled to safely prepare the fugu, and to do it legally, you need to be tested and get a license."

Kasumi's pleasant smile almost unnerved the young warrior, who was already put off by the idea of even attempting something so risky that was not for 'training'. "What? Some eat strange thing!"

"But it's good, ya gotta try it! Here." Ranma used the nearest set of chopsticks to cut a piece of the delicate fish. holding it out for her to try.

More excited about being fed by Ranma, then concerned about trying a potentially dangerous food, Shampoo allowed the tender flesh to be placed in her mouth, the sweet sauce mixing with the savory meat and almost melting in her mouth. She barely even had to chew.

"But, Shampoo-chan, I thought that eel was fairly popular in China too..."

"Never have in village, maybe in other parts. Great-Grandmother say stay away, too too much remind like evil demon."

"I see..."

"Well? What'd ya think? It's good, right?" Ranma was excited to share something he enjoyed with someone who had never tried it before.

"Is too too good, sorry doubt. Ranma feed Shampoo more, yes?"

Almost regretting having taken the initiative, he looked between Shampoo and the plate of food. "But then-..."

"Not to worry, I will help you." Kasumi quickly jumped at the chance to be useful, cutting and offering Ranma his first bite.

"Uh, thanks, Kasumi-san." Taking a moment to savor the taste, he quickly gulped it down. "But, yer not gettin' any?"

Not wanting to be left out, she used another pair of chopsticks to imitate the serving style of the others, feeding the next bite to Kasumi. "Shampoo do! Is okay?"

"Mmmph. Oh my, yes, that was very kind of you."

It had only taken a few of the over-sized bites for Kasumi to have had her fill, and they were both taking turns feeding Ranma, not that he would be complaining, even if his mouth had a free moment.

"Shampoo want ask, where get so many pretty dress?"

"What? I thought all that was yers." Ranma was stunned, if not, where did they come from?

"All, what think? Shampoo wear clothes for mens?"

"We did think it was a bit odd, but they ain't mine, so who else's could they be?"

"Some no even Chinese style."

"Well, ya could a' got new stuff here..."

"Did you not say that you found it in the attic, Ranma-kun?"

"Do ya think...?" Ranma looked at Kasumi as they wondered.

"It could have been left behind as well...?" Kasumi found it difficult to believe, that someone would just leave so many ice outfits behind like that.

"What mean?"

"It seems that the previous owners had to move out quickly, for some reason, and decided to leave anything they could not take with them to the new owners."

"So mean too too pretty dresses belong Airen now?" A tone of excitement entered Shampoo's voice making Ranma concerned about whatever mischief she might be planning.

"No! NOT me! They belong ta you guys, I don't want nuthin' ta do with 'em!"

"Are you certain, Ranma-kun, I think you would look very beautiful in one."

"But Kasumi-san, I'm a GUY!" Ranma was about to just to his feet as he heard another voice behind him.

"But not always, is that not correct, Saotome-kun?" Hinako looked in to see the 'entertainment' starting, and wanted to watch, maybe there would be a fun game ...or better yet, FOOD! "Oooo-unagi!" Crossing the room in a heartbeat, she was seated and eating in the blink of an eye.

"No! Always! Even when my body changes 'cause a' that dumb curse, I'm still a guy! Just like Ryoga's still Ryoga as P-chan, an' Shampoo is still Shampoo as one of those vicious cats!" Ranma suddenly deflated, the air gone from his balloon, and his dander unable to stay afloat. "That's right, it ain't a REAL cat, it's just Shampoo, who might be a be a bit 'catty', but ain't gonna try an' eat me..."

"Say who?" Shampoo's wicked grin shined in the bright room.

"I mean, ya ain't gonna claw me up."

"Will if want..." Leaning in, Shampoo did her best to look cute, something that came naturally to the bubbly young woman.

"Ya ain't helpin'! Ya don't know what it was like in those pits, day after day!"

Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, she tried to comfort him. "Shampoo is sorry, no want hurt Ranma, only stupid panda for what do."

"Every day, those yowls, th' claws, those fangs, th' evil looking eyes glowing in th' dark staring at me hungrily, not caring what they had ta do ta get ta th' food..." Ranma shivered as he had to mentally shake off the memories, not even realizing that Kasumi and even Hinako had both joined with Shampoo in trying to comfort him.

"Every day?" Kasumi was just horrified, she never did quite get to properly thank Uncle Saotome for that one.

"Well, 'cause a' how long ago it was an' th' 'recovery naps', I ain't got any idea how long I slept, how many times it took, er even how long we were in that village after that... It all just blends together inta one long nightmare a' fur an' fangs. I just know we had more 'en one pit, an' Pops'd starve 'em while I rested."

"Shampoo want know, anyone else want new panda rug?"

"I have heard some say that panda meat is quite the delicacy."

"Delinquents deserved to be punished!"

"It ain't like I don't appreciate th' thought, but if anyone's gonna beat th' old man, it's gonna be me. I owe that bastard way too much payback, and ain't none a' ya need ta get hurt fer my sake."

"No assume Shampoo get hurt!"

"Hey, I know yer strong, I've seen ya goin' all out, but I also know what Pops can do. When th' old guy really gets serious, I ain't sure even... Let's just say there ain't too many people that can stop th' old man."

Shampoo had her doubts, but the fact that Ranma just admitted to worrying about her greatly soothed her bruised ego.

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"...And that was how I made it back from the mountains of Xinjiang."

"Wow, you have really been around, huh?" Akane looked at the taller boy in awe.

"I suppose you could say that. Mastering ones kung-fu is a path that is fraught with peril."

"Hey! That's like what my dad says! 'The path of a martial artist is fraught with peril.' You two are a lot alike, even your hair."

Mousse was not certain that he approved of the comparison, but she did not seem to be intending any offense, so he chose not to take it that way. "I guess." At least she had not stated that he reminded her of Ranma's father...

"Ah, we're here!"

"What, really?" Looking around, he could not believe his eyes, a not wholly unfamiliar felling, in spite of wearing his glasses. The Tendo property had never been in the best repair, but considering how he helped clean the place not long ago, he could not believe that it had gotten this bad. Even after one of Ranma's bigger battles, the place rarely saw this much dilapidation. The walls surrounding the lot were full of holes, revealing the disheveled yard behind it. The buildings, ground, and almost everything else looked to be falling apart, the few poorly made patches that had been made were also broken. He was surprised that the place was still standing at all. "What happened?"

"To what?"

"Your house?"

"Oh that, well, ever since Kasumi and Nabiki left, nothing gets fixed well, and we ran out of materials a while back..."

"How do you live like this?" Mousses cleaned his glasses before putting them back on.

"Now you know why I spend most of my time at school or in the park, I barely sleep here. Better to spend every afternoon in detention getting drained by Hinako-sensei." Akane sighed as she thought about her daily life.

"I see." Looking around as they made their way into the house, he just openly gawked as things went from broken to disgusting. "I hate to break it to you, but I cannot cook like this."

Disappointed, Akane hung her head. "I understand, let's go find a noodle stand or something then..."

Completely distracted by the disaster that used to be the most pristine room in the home, he ignored the suggestion. "I am sorry, but dinner is going to take a bit longer than I had expected." With that, he started pulling cleaning tools from his sleeves before rolling them up.

"What, your gonna clean?"

"How else am I supposed to cook?"

"Well, it's just... Thank you!" Not knowing what else to do, Akane bowed. "What can I do to help?"

Having heard the stories from her own mouth, Mousse figured it was better to play it safe. "Just tell me where things go."

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It was on days such as today that Moroboshi truly loved his job. Right before he was about to go on break, a real-life 'jukujo' walked in, asking to have a role of film developed. If that had had not been enough, as he developed the roll, he saw the photos all had two beautiful women in them, one of whom could be seen from behind while NAKED!

"I am terribly sorry about the delay ma'am, a couple of those pictures did not come out the first time. I do not know what is wrong with that machine, to make it up to you, I will give you half off."

"Oh! You do not need to go that far, it was no trouble at all. I am just glad that my camera did not get broken."

"I am just surprised that a beautiful woman such as yourself was not in any of those pictures."

Nodoka blushed in response to the complement. "Oh stop, I was the one taking them, I cannot be in two places at once."

"Would you like to see our selection of timers, or remote shutter switches?" The young man leaned closer to Nodoka, leering as he did.

"Will wonders never cease?" Ignoring the lustful glare, she looked around the store at the various equipment.

"Are you new to photography?" Ataru tried to angle himself to see into her kimono.

"You could say that, I have not needed a camera for about ten years now, but things have changed a lot recently. Back then I was happy to have one of those fancy instamatics. But I have heard the quality is better on one of these ten millimeter ones."

"Oh yes, definitely. I have been taking photos," 'of girls,' "for many years, and you will definitely get a better result this way." 'Not to mention, I get a chance to make copies! Hehehe.'

"You have? Thank you, that is helpful."

"If you would like, I could give you lessons." 'And maybe I can take some compromising shots of you as well!'

"Oh I do not know, I am rather busy these days, but..."

The younger man handed over his business card. "Here is my address and phone number. Just let me know-..."

"Oh, you are THAT Moroboshi? I know your mother..."

"I-! No! It's not ...let me explain!"

"It is good to see you have a job, your mother was so worried."

"I'll bet."

"It is good too see you again, Ataru-chan."

"'Again'?"

"I used to play with you when you were young, don't you remember your Auntie Nodoka?"

"You mean, you were-...?"

"That is correct, I used to babysit you, and we used to play those cute games..."

"...Like hide the cucumber! Aunty Nodoka!"

"Are you still a manly little man?"

"That depends on who you ask..."

"I heard you were getting married!"

"One day, I guess, gotta have fun in the meantime though, right?"

"That's a good boy!"

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Akane could not believe their kitchen actually looked clean enough to cook in! Seeing it almost spotless reminded her of her sister, and brought a tear to her eye, before she realized that had Kasumi still been there, it never would have gotten that bad in the first place! The more she looked at it, the more she felt the urge to make something, but every time she tried to help out, Mousse had asked her to help him find something, occasionally that 'something' was not even used in the kitchen and she had no idea why he had wanted them...

"Were you able to set the table?" Mousse glanced over his shoulder with a smile as he continued to stir.

"What do you take me for? I didn't break any plates or anything!"

"I have asked you to do many things, so I was just wondering if you had finished that one yet?"

"Almost..."

"Then allow me to help you..." He turned off the heat, and removed the pan from the burner.

"Um, okay...?"

Mousse had to shake his head as he entered the living room, where they had their meals. He was beginning to think that perhaps Shampoo and Ranma had not been exaggerating about the girl's skills around the house. Putting the many months of practice busing tables to use, he had cleaned and straightened the room in a few moments, before he finished setting the table. How anyone could live like that was beyond him, and he lived in a rural village!

"You did not have to clean the rest of the room, you are a guest!"

"Yes, yes I did."

"Whatever. Do you want me to help serve?"

"NO!"

"What, did, you, just, say?"

"I said, 'how about you take the place of honor, and allow this unworthy fellow to serve you'?"

"Oh, I guess that is all right then." Akane took her seat and watched the bishounen boy, and the way in which he walked out of the room. "Almost could be a girl in some ways..."

Before Mousse had finished bringing out all of the food, Soun and Genma had found their way to the table, already drooling at the sight. "Ah, good to see you again."

"You were that duck-boy."

"Moose, wasn't it?"

"Mousse, thank you."

"Oh yes, that's right!"

"So to what do we owe this honor?"

"I was wanting food, and Mousse offered to cook for ME!"

"Is that so?"

"Yes, I could not let your daughter starve."

Already serving themselves, the fathers looked pleased. "Very kind of you."

"Yes, a true martial artist at heart!"

Realizing if they did not hurry, they might miss out on the food, the two teenagers dug in, hoping to get enough to fill their bellies after all of their hard work.

Annoyed enough that Genma still lived with them at all now that Ranma was gone, Akane was especially bothered by him trying to eat all of their dinner! "Didn't think you'd want this, Uncle Genma."

"What makes you think that?"

"Well, aren't you going to say something about how it isn't manly to cook and stuff?"

"Are you kidding, Girl? Even if that didn't only matter for Ranma, who would give up meals like this?" Genma laughed as he helped himself to another serving.

"Akane-chan, some of the best cooks in the world are men." Soun tried to look stoic, but nobody took him seriously.

Nabiki would have been proud of the sarcastic look Akane gave her father. "Why don't you ever do it then?"

"We do, you are just not usually here..."

"Good old rice..."

"...Cabbage..."

"...And a spot of mayonnaise!"

"The height of luxury!"

Mousse just glared at the two men. "How do you survive?"

"We had wives!"

"Not for a long time!" Akane was getting annoyed, she missed her mother but, it was high time for him to stop moping about it.

"I do so!" Genma barely paused his eating to object.

"Then why don't you go live there?"

"Um, well, because..." Trying to look casual about it, he tipped over the glass of water near him, triggering his curse. "Growlf!"

Seeing his friend no longer able to speak, Soun turned his attention to their 'guest'. "Well, my boy, what exactly are your intentions with my daughter?"

"DAD!"

"One cannot be too careful you know?"

Genma held up a sign that read, 'How would you like to be adopted into my family, and marry Akane here?'

"Saotome-kun, what a brilliant idea! Why don't you stay here, we have plenty of room!"

Thinking that his tree in the park would be more sanitary, he did not think that would be the best plan. "Perhaps some other time..."

"You have somewhere else to be then?" Soun gaze down his nose at the younger man.

"Sort of..."

Akane turned to poke fun at her benefactor. "What? Where are you going to go? To Shampoo?"

Not happy about the reminder, the young man's tone of voice dropped. "You know that I cannot."

Soun put his arm around his shoulder, and pulled him in close. "Then it is decided! You will stay with us!"

Simply thinking about how much cleaning he would have to do before he could even consider sleeping tired out the young man before he had even lifted a finger, and he did not even want to imagine the state of the restroom...

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Ranma had not been given much time to think since they had their snack. While Kasumi had been helping Shampoo, Hinako had been trying to quiz him on what various organs were, and what they were supposed to do. Despite what they were telling him, it seemed perverted and it was all very embarrassing, frankly he did not want to be there. If it was not something used for fighting, he did not really care all that much, if only... "Hey teach?"

"Yes, Saotome-kun, did you have a question about the material?"

"Not exactly... but ya said before, ya'd show me about that wrestlin' stuff."

"I am, this is part of it, remember what your mother said about 'the basics'. Now, as I said, do you have any questions."

"What any a' this gotta do with fightin'?"

"It doesn't. I told you before, this is not 'fighting', it is sex, and that is what this whole class is about, including those ...special lessons your mother has been insisting upon the last couple of nights." Hinako blushed as she remembered how 'involved' she had been in those lessons.

"But ain't that th' kind a' stuff perverts like Kuno and th' old man 're always tryin' ta do ta people? Why's it perverted when they do it, and when Akane says I do it, but not now? I just don't get it! Why do I always get hit? Is that part a' how it works?"

"Whoa, slow down, one things at a time. Hitting is not normally involved, except in certain situations, and then you need to discuss it with your partner ahead of time, otherwise that is battery. What those other people you mentioned do, is try to do these things with people who are unwilling, and from what I understand, Tendo-kun was extremely unwilling."

"Ya ain't kiddin'! But how's that my fault? I didn't do nuthin', I didn't ask fer none a' this!" Ranma was exasperated by the confusing ideas.

"You are absolutely correct, it is NOT your fault."

"But how, do I-... Wait, WHAT?"

"It was NOT YOUR fault, Saotome-kun. You did not deserve that, neither of you did." Hinako walked over, resting her hand upon his shoulder. "If anyone is to blame, it is your fathers, both for your lack of education, and for trying to force you together when you were clearly not ready for it at best."

It took Ranma several minutes before he could pick his jaw up off of the floor and respond, almost everyone usually blamed him for just about everything! "I-..."

"While you are not completely faultless, most of the blame for what you are talking about lies with others, or your own ignorance."

Ranma's somewhat improved mood drooped along with his head. "Yeah, yeah, 'Ranma no baka!', I know..."

"I did not say you were stupid, just uninformed. Ignorance can be cured with study, stupidity is forever. You, my boy, are not stupid." Her hand moved from his shoulder, to gently caressing his cheek. "I would not spend so much time trying to teach you, if I thought that you were."

Emboldened by her encouragement, Ranma tried to grasp all of the conflicting information, and sort it out in his head. "Maybe it'd help if ya told me what the point a' all this is."

Hinako had to blink a few times, she really did have to cover everything from the beginning. "Ultimately? To make babies."

"What? I don't want ta do that! I got too much trainin' ta do! An' I gotta find a cure, an'..."

"I am not telling you that you have to have children, many people do it just for fun. However, because you can make babies, or worse, you need to be very careful of when and how you do it."

"What do ya mean?"

"There are many ways in which one can prevent a disease or pregnancy. There are pills that can be taken, or many other items that can be use by the man or woman. As a man, the most important one you will need to know about is a condom..."

The door suddenly opened and Nodoka was standing there, aura blazing, and giving Hinako the look of death, and mouthing the words, 'what are you teaching my son?'

"Akane? I'm sorry, I didn't do nuthin'!" Ranma cringed and recoiled by the intense aura, until he looked up and saw who was there.

Hinako cringed, feeling smaller than her child form would even allow. 'What did I do? Was this how Ranma felt most of the time?'

"Mom?"

"I believe we are done here for tonight, do not forget to do the rest of your homework before bed, but first we have a contest to judge! Hurry along now."

They both followed along, uncertain as to what had caused the reaction, for Ranma it had been a flashback to his life at the Tendos place, and he was still feeling a bit jumpy, as if a table or statue would appear out of nowhere, aimed for his head.

As for Hinako, beyond the shock of seeing Nodoka looking absolutely livid, she had felt as though they had been making real progress before that, and only hoped that it had not been ruined. There seemed to be more at work than just simple ignorance, and she owed it to her pupil to find out what it was.

As they neared the kitchen, Nodoka's fury about her grandchildren being sabotaged faded and was replaced by a mischievous grin. "Well ladies, the time is here, how shall we work this?"

"We each make our best okonomiyaki, Ranma picks mahn as th' best!"

"Well, I AM pretty hungry, but..."

"But, 'fore we start, Ah wanted ta give ya somethin'." Ukyo stepped toward Ranma's mother with a bow.

"Me?" Nodoka had not been expecting that, and was uncertain as to how to respond for a moment.

"Yeah. It ain't nuthin' fancy, er nuthin' but Ah was thinkin' how sad it was ya missed out on so much an'... Well, it ain't like Ah kin do much, but Ah found this, an' thought ya'd like it..." Ukyo held out a small square gift as she bowed deeply toward Nodoka. "Ah hope ya accept this small token..."

"Oh! You did not have to get me anything my dear."

"Please, Ah just wanted ta show mah gratitude."

"To me? Whatever for?"

"Open it, an' y'll know."

"Now?"

"If ya please." Ukyo looked up from the floor, wanting to see her reaction.

Nodoka stared at the small rectangular package in her hands for a moment before untying the ribbon, and unwrapping the paper. Inside was a small golden picture frame, that as she turned over, she saw that it was engraved with the inscription 'Thank you for giving birth to the man of my dreams', and held a photograph of Ukyo and Ranma playing together as children. It could not have been taken too long after he had been taken from her, all of those feelings suddenly felt fresh in her mind, and her tears would not stop flowing. "...Thank you. I cannot thank you enough..."

Ukyo had hoped that Nodoka would like the bit of their childhood, but she had not expected such an emotional reaction. "Um, yer welcome? Ah mean yer welcome! Yes, yer welcome. Ah jus' thought ...ya might wanna see it."

"You thought correctly."

"No is good bribe Mother, Ranma is only judge!"

"Though, if you do not mind making enough for all of us, we can all have dinner together for a change. Would that not be nice?"

Looking around the room, Ukyo grumbled a bit. "Ah guess..."

"Is okay, only is one what is almost never here for meal, no miss much."

"Hey! Ya could wait..."

"Did at first, but come home later all time. No can make Ranma wait forever."

"That ain't fair, Ah got a job!"

"Is true, no more have time for Ranma..." Sticking her tongue out, she crossed her arms and turned away.

"Come-on Shampoo, ya ain't gotta be like that." Ranma gave her a cross look.

"Thank ya, Ranchan." Ukyo swooned as he came to her defense.

"...It'll take forever ta get dinner. Let's start this thing already."

"Heeeey, Ranchaaaan!"

That brought Nodoka back to the present, and the task at hand. "That is correct, the contest! With three of you competing, I thought it would be best to go one at a time."

"Aiyaa..."

"Wait, three? What'd ya mean, three?" Ukyo turned her head in shock.

Kasumi looked around the room, focusing on each of them for a moment as she considered what just happened. "Who is third, do you wish Ranma-kun to compete as well?"

Nodoka chuckled to herself as she placed her hand on the young homemaker's shoulder. "Oh no, no, no ...you are third, my dear."

"I am sorry?" This was the first Kasumi had heard about this.

"What? This is buhtween meh an' th' harlot!" Ukyo could not believe that 'that woman' was getting in her way again!

"Was it not both Shampoo-chan and Kasumi-chan who made the item that started this challenge?"

"Well, yeah, but-..."

"Then would your challenge not be toward the both of them?"

"I guess, but that weren't what we said."

"I changed it." Nodoka's no-nonsense tone left no room for negotiation.

"This was between us, what gives ya th' right?" Ukyo slapped her hands over her mouth, worried about offending Ranma's mother.

"A few things, for starters, as the mother of the prize-..." Nodoka let that hang in the air for a moment.

"Prize?" Ranma had mostly tuned out the argument, but hearing that brought him back to the present.

"What mean?"

"No good contest is without a prize, and so the winner will get to go on a date with Ranma, and use this free pass that I won in the market today." Nodoka held up the tickets above her head.

"Aiyaa! Is too too good!"

"Ya mean, th' winner gits ta spend th' whole night tahgethah with Ranchan, ALONE, ta do whatever Ah want?"

"Um, hey..." He was being treated like an object again, and he was not thrilled about it.

"No is winner yet, Airen obviously pick Shampoo, is best choice for night alone..."

The eldest Tendo sister raised her hand. "But, why am I involved?"

"Would you rather not be?" Nodoka gave her a curious expression, raising her eyebrow.

"Well, I mean..." Then Kasumi decided that if she were to win, since they had been team, she could just give her 'prize' to Shampoo. "Okay, I will join."

"WHAT? Why would ya...?" Ukyo was not happy to see Kasumi joining in, not only due to her being well known for her cooking skill, but more so because it showed that she had an interest in her Ranchan!

"Then it is decided!"

"Who decides? Is it right to allow 'the prize' to be the judge?"

"What teacher mean?"

"Would Saotome-kun then pick the based on flavor, or who was liked best?"

"Is point, yes?" Shampoo certainly did not see any problem with that.

"No, it is a cooking contest. Maybe it should be a blind taste test, or maybe we could judge by the reactions to see which is best... What dose everyone else think?" Hinako wanted it to be a fair contest, and threw out any idea she thought might help.

"I like the idea of a blind test. You can all go make your food, and we will bring it out here for judging, then we can all eat. Okay?" Nodoka nodded, not waiting for anyone to argue with her.

"Should we still judge based on Saotome-kun's reaction?"

"That seems fair." The older woman nodded, looking forward to how her plan would play out.

"How?" Ukyo wanted Ranma to pick hers as best, it was meaningless otherwise!

"Need try get honest answer from Airen?"

"Ya make a good point." Ukyo assumed they were trying to pick favorites, but she had hoped she had hedged her bets enough, maybe that was not a bad idea after all. Between having Hinako on her side, her gift to Nodoka, her good luck charms, and her prayers to the gods, she just HAD to come out on top!

"Hey! I'm right here ya know..." Ranma fumed to himself, annoyed that no matter where he went, everyone was always making decisions about his life without him!

"Stay outa this, it don't involve ya!" Ukyo snapped, instantly regretting her reaction.

"It don't?"

Kasumi stepped up behind him, placing her hands on his shoulders to reassure him. "Of course it does, Ranma-kun, you are the one going on this date."

"Da-da-da-date? ...Ya jus' gotta pick mah okonomiyaki as best, an' we can go!"

"Aiyaaa! No get head self. Food no is made yet. Is too too obvious, pick Shampoo for date!"

"Yes, exactly. You three should retire to the kitchen, while Ranma, you go relax for a while, perhaps read a book."

"I'm startin' ta think I should enter th' contest myself!" That strategy had always served him well in the past.

"No, no, that just will not do. You are the judge."

"It don't seem like I got any say in this at all."

"Come girls, Ninomiya-sensei and I will be watching, so everyone stick to your own dishes."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Relax. Yeah right! How'm I supposed ta relax with everyone always decidin' my future for me? It ain't fair!"

Bouncing around the yard, Ranma dodged and attacked imaginary assailants, wishing they were his problems, and he could just beat them into submission! Even to him, it was apparent that his father had left him ill prepared for life as an adult, all he really knew how to do was fight.

"Well, I suppose I picked up a few other skills, mostly 'cause a' th' art though."

Even if he had done what everyone always pushed him to do, and get married to someone, what was he to do for the rest of his life? Did he even want to teach others? He had to admit, it was nice having a student, but mostly he just wanted to train, and keep improving himself for now. He figured if he had to teach a class full of beginners, he would be too busy thinking of ways to help them improve, to consider how to improve his own art.

But what else did he know how to do? Cook, clean, be a waitress? Maybe he could get a job as a bodyguard? Most of those jobs did not pay well, or would keep him away from home a lot, and while that had appeal in several ways, it just struck him as being too much like avoiding responsibility, which was not the kind of person he wanted to be. Joining the circus had more or less the same issues, unless his family came with him, but what kind of life is that? Only a scant bit better than his own had been, he would imagine.

No, he needed something that would keep him around, at least most of the time... Although, he supposed that would depend on who he would end up being forced into marrying, the very thought of which sent him stumbling off course and into a wall.

Did he want to get married? No, not particularly, at least not yet. It just felt too soon to 'settle down' and kami forbid, have children! He could barely take care of himself, never mind others! The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to run away, he was starting to understand why his father stayed away from home for so long!

He conceded though, that if he was not going to school, he needed to have some kind of income, he could not continue to depend on the kindness of others forever, and while he could live off of the land, he did not want to subject anyone else to that, it was not an easy life. If he ...lived with Ukyo, she would want him to help out in her restaurant, and with Shampoo it would likely be best for him to go back with her to China. While he did not really mind cooking that much, he had some serious misgivings about being a 'waitress' for the rest of his life. However, while going to China to train ...and look for a cure, had a lot of appeal, he was not certain that he wanted to live in some small village forever either.

He always complained about nobody ever asking him what he wanted, but if they did, would he even have an answer? SHOULD he even have an answer at his age? He still had several years before he reached the age of majority and would even begin to be considered an adult by society at large. So much pressure when all he really wanted to do was to keep training...

Maybe he really should just go with Shampoo back to China, it would be hard at first, not that he let that stop him before, and this time he knew he would have a better guide. He could do almost everything himself, spend most of his days training, and not have to worry about some dumb job, it was an attractive idea, but he was starting to make some friends and he would hate to leave them, especially Kasumi, who had done so much to help him lately.

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"I believe we are prepared, would you be a dear, and bring Ranma to the dining room?"

Not being one of the chefs, Hinako's only purpose was to watch, making certain that no one had attempted to interfere with one of the others, which no one had, making her feel a bit bored and rather redundant. She much preferred eating food to cooking it, and that time was almost upon them! "Okay!" Jumping up, she took off running, her long legs scurrying along faster than the average human eye could follow. The sooner they got through the judging, the sooner she could eat!

"You three get your presentations ready, and I will set the table for the rest of us." Nodoka ran off as they put the finishing touches on their dishes.

Ukyo continued to pray to the gods for luck and a crushing defeat of her nemesis, Shampoo hoped that Ranma did not mind her changes to the recipe, and Kasumi was still wondering why she was competing. Was that what they meant about 'no good deed going unpunished'? She could not be certain. She was not even sure why she had agreed to it, other than 'Mother' telling her to join, and her being the obedient young woman that she was.

As they entered, they saw a screen separating the dining room table from the rest of the room, and once they had laying out the food, the screen was removed, reveling Ranma sitting at the far end. "Yo."

Hushing the others, Nodoka took control of the situation. "Welcome to the battle of the bakers! Three women will compete here for the honor of taking our manly judge on a trip for two days, and one night, to beautiful Hakone, in Kanagawa prefecture, where you will stay at the Gora Yamano ryokan!" The Saotome matron paused for the imaginary audience to applaud. "Who will take off with the prize, whose confection reached perfection, whose foodstuff is the good stuff, who will get to spend the night, alone, lovey-dovey with RaaAAANMAAAa, and who will be left at home to scrub the dishes?"

"Hey! Don't I get a say in this?" Ranma still felt like a piece of meat being fought over by a pair of wild carnivores.

"NO!" Ukyo and Shampoo both chimed in before he had a chance to back out of being their prize!

Not missing a beat, Nodoka picked up where she left off, holding the microphone from the karaoke box to her mouth. "Who will it be, the turbulent tomboy, the gregarious gaijin, or the happy homemaker? Find out, right after this word from our sponsors!" Nodoka held up a sign, and flipped it over revealing the writing on the other side. "Today's show is brought to you by the letter 'ecchi', and the number 'sixty-nine', now back to our show."

Thinking about a certain panda, Ukyo leaned over to whisper to Shampoo. "Must run in th' family."

Putting down the sign, she picked up one of the covered platters. "Welcome back to our program already in progress. Whose dish will be served first? Do you know, do I know, does anyone know?" Setting it down in front of Ranma, Nodoka pulled the cover away with a flourish.

Ranma did not even have to look in order to know who had made the okonomiyaki before him, the familiar scent filling his nostrils made his mouth water a little bit. "The Kuonji Special!"

"Ya kin tell?"

"A' course, it's just like always!" Ranma finished it off in record time with a light grin on his face, proud of being able to spot his friend's work so easily. It had been as good as always, with extra toppings to make it extra filling, and it made him feel warm inside like a favorite old blanket, or seeing an old friend.

"Izat good, er bad?"

"It's good, it's really good."

"A' course it is! Who'd ya think Ah am?"

"Well, you figured out who made that one, but let us see if you can tell who made this!" With a sweeping motion, Nodoka made a show of removing the lid, revealing the second okonomiyaki.

The first thing that Ranma noticed was that the colors were more intense, there were dark greens within, with a translucent bright red sauce covering the whole thing. The second thing that he noticed was that it was not seafood, but rather some type of red meat! He had never seen an okonomiyaki like this before, and it intrigued him. The first thing he did was to dip his chopsticks into the sauce and taste it.

His reaction was sudden, and he immediately tore into the rest of it. "Gotta be Shampoo's, I ain't never tasted nuthin' like it, but it tasted very 'Mandarin'. What was it?" Ranma did not leave a single drop of the sweet, yet tangy red sauce go to waste.

Proudly stepping forward, she grinned from ear to ear. "Is true. Was Shampoo make lamb okonomiyaki, with pineapple sweet sour sauce, and use spinach instead of cabbage, is better for nuter- nutra- nu- ...for training." Eyes lowering, she tried to give Ranma a demure look. "Is okay, yes? Shampoo want make best can, so make what know, hope Airen like..."

"It's great!" Ranma grinned from ear to ear, there was something to be said for trying new things, he was nothing if not adventurous.

"No fair! Ya'll were supposed ta make th' same thing ya made last time! Lamb ain't seafood!" Ukyo pouted, she had not thought to make something new, she just make what he always ordered.

"That's true..." It was really good, but Ranma could not argue that point, lamb did not live in the sea...

Seeing Ranma's reaction, Nodoka stepped in to settle matters. "At no point was that stated in the agreement. You only challenged Shampoo-chan to make a better okonomiyaki, you never actually stated it had to be seafood."

"If that is the case, then everything is fine, and since there is only one chef left, how about you just tell Ranma about your dish, Kasumi-chan?"

"Oh my, I-, I just... I did not have anything planned, so I just used the leftover eel, from our snack a while ago..." Kasumi blushed in her embarrassment, she had not really wanted to mention how she had created this recipe.

"Well, at least that's seafood!" Ukyo was not sure what to think...

"How creative!" Nodoka was impressed, no good housewife should let anything go to waste.

"Um, thank you. I just threw it together out of what we had lying around. I am sorry to be such a failure!"

"Ya did? Sweet-o!" Ranma threw his hands over his mouth, worried that he sounded a bit too much like a certain old man...

Kasumi blushed harder at the excitement in his voice. "Yes, I-, I just hope that you like it, I have never really made one before, only helping Shampoo-chan yesterday. I am sure it will not be as good as the others."

"It smells great! I can't wait ta try it!" Ranma looked up expectantly waiting for his cue to begin.

"Please do." Before she had been able to blink, Ranma had cleaned his plate, and was asking for 'more'.

"Yes Ranma, there is plenty more from all three of them, for all of us. Now, we need to decide who is the winner, and I believe that the answer is obvious!"

"What, wait, how's that? Ain't nobody voted!"

"One person voted with their reaction, the only person who mattered for this contest. The person who needs to be happy enough to eat that food for the rest of their life."

"What? Now this is about who I marry? When ...how did that happen?"

Rushing over, Kasumi tried to reassure him. "No one is going to force you to get married over this."

"Well, no, of course not. Although you should love your future bride's cooking, should you not?"

"It ain't like I can't cook plenty, that's not really important ta me. I don't care about cookin' er cleanin' er nuthin'!"

Kasumi was not sure why, but that made her feel worthless, as if she had no value as a person. For what good was she, if not to care for others? Why was she even there if she was not needed?

Ranma continued to rant, getting almost as tired of pushed around by his mother as he had been with his father and the others. "If that's what ya want in a wife, then ya don't want a wife, ya want a servant."

"Zat mean, ya DO want Akane-chan?" Ukyo looked up, confused by what he was saying.

"What? No! When did I say that?"

"Ya said ya wanted someone that couldn't cook, er clean, er nuthin'..."

"No I didn't, I just said I don't care about it. It ain't what I would look fer in a girl."

"Then what is?" Still confused, Ukyo hoped for any clue she could get.

"How should I know?"

"Then who does?"

"I don't know..."

"Come on, Ranchan, tell us!"

"I don't know! Maybe someone that don't try ta push me into decidin' my whole life at the drop of a hat, before I even finish my trainin', er whatever!" Without eating another bite, Ranma rushed out into the darkness.

"Ranma-kun!" Nowhere near as fast, Kasumi attempted to chase after him, her previous misgivings quickly forgotten.

"Look what do!" Shampoo jumped up, her chui in hand, ready to pounce.

Readying her baker's peel, Ukyo also jumped to the ready. "Meh? It ain't MAH fault!"

"Is too!"

"How?"

"How not?"

"Now now, just calm down. Let us eat, while we wait for them both to return."

The two young women looked from Nodoka to each other, and back again. "Both?"

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Kasumi had been growing accustomed to following her senses, even when the trail grew faint, and luckily the aura she was following, the one belonging to the person she could sense more easily than anyone else, had not gotten far. Nearing the bridge, she felt Ranma's presence drawing closer, and she circled around, climbing down the hill to find him sitting in a ball, staring into the water. "There you are, Ranma-kun. I was worried about you."

"Ya ain't gotta worry about me, Kasumi-san. I ain't gonna get hurt."

"I do not believe that, and I do not think that you do either."

"What, ya think I'm weak?"

"Not at all, you are probably the strongest person I know, but it does not matter how strong a person is, we can all hurt, especially here." She lifted her arm, lightly brushing her finger across his chest, pointing toward his heart. "I had hoped you would have believed me, but I suppose it was asking too much..."

"What'd ya mean?"

"I told you before, did I not? Onee-chan would not allow anyone to force you to get married while I am around. If you are going to get married it will be because 'you' want to do it, not because someone else is makng you to do it."

"I'm sorry Kasumi-san, I'm just so tired a' all that marriage stuff. I just wish they could give it a rest, ya know?" Ranma hung his head low enough to fall between his raised knees.

"I suppose I do. It would be nice if everyone could get along."

"I know, right? What're they thinkin', always fightin' like that?"

Not wanting to be rude, and mention him and Akane, among others, Kasumi tried to steer the conversation in a more helpful direction. "Well, if there is ever anything I can do, please, do not hesitate to ask, okay?"

"What, like pretendin' ta be married, so they'd give up?" Ranma chuckled darkly.

"Oh my... I- I-" Kasumi's face glowed bright enough to be seen in the darkness. "If you think that it would work ...I suppose I-..."

"Nah, that's a stupid plan, it'd never work..."

With the mood crushed, Kasumi looked up sadly, not surprised that no one would want to marry an old maid like her.

"...It ain't like anyone'd believe that someone as perfect as Kasumi-san would ever marry a jerk like me."

"That's not true Ranma-kun! If-..."

"No, I don't mean 'cause our fathers told ya to, I mean cause ya want ta."

"Ranma-kun, you are a wonderful person, do you really believe that so many girls would agree to marry you, if you are not likable?"

"None a' did though, it was all our pops deals and laws that did it, didn't none a' them have nuthin' ta say about it."

"Really, none of them?"

"Only Kodachi, but that don't count, that girl is crazy!"

"I see. Would it help if I agreed to marry you, of my own free will?"

"What? Why would ya do that? I don't want no one doin' nuthin' 'cause a' some obligation! Not 'cause ya feel sorry fer me, er cause ya think it's th' right thing ta do! It just ain't right!"

"Then what would be a proper reason, if not duty?"

"Ya gotta ask? I don't know, 'love' er somethin', I guess. I though of anyone, I wouldn't have ta tell that ta Kasumi-san."

"Well then, it is simple, who do you love, Ranma-kun." Kasumi smiled as if she had just solved world hunger.

"Oh, yeah, right, that's SO simple! How would I know? I don't know nuthin' about that kinda stuff!"

"Hummm... Well, do you enjoy spending time with that person? Do you look forward to being around them? Do you think about them often, even when they are not around? Is there anyone you just cannot get out of your mind?"

"Uhhh..." Was there someone like that? He liked being around his friends, as long as they were not trying to do something embarrassing to him, like usual... Someone he could not get out of his mind? Someone he could never forget? Was she waiting for an answer? "Well..."

"That might be a good sign. You need to look inside yourself, and search your feelings. Perhaps if you saw others, and how they react..."

"How'd I do that, I don't wanna go spyin' on people..."

"Maybe you could start with a romantic movie, or perhaps a book! I could loan you some if you would like."

"Yeah, I don't know Kasumi-san, ain't that kind a' stuff fer girls?"

"Well, sometimes, but perhaps you could try experiencing it as a girl?"

"I guess ...wait, no! Why?"

"I just thought it might be less embarrassing for you, like with the ice cream."

He hated to admit that he enjoyed something so unmanly, even if it did taste better as a girl, however Kasumi had a way of compelling his response out of him. "I don't know, maybe, I guess, but..."

"Would it help if I went with you?"

"I guess, better then if I took them, could ya imagine what they'd think if I did?"

Again, Kasumi's mood was bittersweet, happy that he was allowing her to help him, but there was something underneath that she did not like, not that she could pinpoint the cause. "If you would like, I can loan you a book when we get home, and perhaps you could help me when I do the shopping tomorrow, what do you think?"

"Hey, ya can always ask, if ya need help caryin' stuff er whatever."

"I meant so we can go see a nice movie." Kasumi almost felt like a school girl, being asked out on a first date.

"Oh... ya mean like a," Ranma already soft voice dropped to a bare whisper. "...secret trainin' trip?"

Somewhat deflated, Kasumi looked away. "Yes Ranma-kun, like a secret training trip..."

"Shhh, shhh, ya shouldn't say that so loud. Are ya sure ya can keep a secret, Kasumi-san?"

"Of course I can, I never told you about Nabiki wetting the bed, until almost middle school, did I?"

"OH ho ho, I wish ya had! That could a' come in handy when I was being blackmailed..."

Kasumi covered her mouth in embarrassment, mentally chiding herself for letting that slip. "Oh my, forget I said that!"

"I'd like ta, Kasumi-san, but ya gotta do somethin' fer me first..."

"Oh my, what do you want me to do?"

"Promise me, ya won't talk about none a' this romance stuff ta nobody else."

She did not want to embarrass Ranma, nor did she want it getting back to Nabiki that she told her secret to Ranma... Besides, it felt good to have Ranma confiding in her as if she were his real sister. "Of course."

"Just like you did with Nabiki's secret?"

"Hrumph, well I did not tell... Oh my, you almost got me again!" Kasumi relaxed after her huff. "But that was different, it was with you..."

"How's that different?" He finally looked up, meeting the older woman's gaze.

"I trust you, Ranma-kun."

"Huh? Why?" Ranma could not understand the feelings rushing through him, he had never really felt that way before.

"Because you have always been there for me, and I do not really like keeping secrets, it feels like lying. Especially to you for some reason, though I am not certain as to why."

"Pops always used ta say, 'a martial artist never lies, to their father most of all!', though also said 'do as I say, not as I do' ...so, there is that."

"Well, you do not need to worry, you turned out far better than either of our fathers, in oh so many ways..."

"Ya think?" If someone like Kasumi could feel that way, maybe he was not as much of a 'screw up' as everyone seemed to assume. He stood up just in time for someone driving over the bridge to throw their half empty water bottle out of their car, and splashing him just as he started to feel a bit better.

Kasumi sighed as the poor boy's luck, taking the cursed martial artist into her arms. "No, I know! In fact, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind at all. You are more honest, honorable, and brave than both of them combined. Almost any woman would be proud to call you 'husband' ...or at least that's what I think anyway." Kasumi let out a rather uncharacteristically nervous laugh. "For now, what do you say we go back and get you changed? I am sure they are worried about us."

"Yeah right... Sure, let's go."

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"Ah, Kasumi-chan, you return. Did you find what you are looking for?"

"Yes Mother, Ranma-kun is right here."

"And what about you, Son?"

"Huh? I wasn't lookin' fer nuthin'." Ranma was wondering why both of his typically boisterous betrothed looked almost browbeaten, though not enough to actually inquire about it.

"Well, we saved you both some food."

"Hey! Thanks guys!" Ranma's mood improved a bit as he took one of the leftover okonomiyaki, and started to eat. "Itadakimasu!"

"Yes, thank you everyone." Kasumi smiled as she sat at the table.

"It has been decided." Nodoka grinned as she held up a fan with the Japanese flag printed upon it.

"Huh?" Ranma looked up from his plate, wondering what they were talking about.

"What has?" Kasumi was also curious.

"The contest, of course."

"Oh my, so, tell me, which of you won?"

"You did."

"WHAT?" Kasumi almost fell out of her chair as she heard the news. "That cannot be."

"Ah wish! It jus' ain't fair!"

"No, no, no, that should not happen! I was not meant to compete, I just used the leftovers..."

"Nonetheless, Ranma clearly enjoyed yours the most."

"But... That was just because ...eel's my favorite?"

"Knowing that says a lot, do you not agree?" Nodoka nodded, as if answering her own question.

"I know most of Ranma's favorites, that does not mean anything!"

"Oh, but it does. That is what matters most of all!"

"But, you liked Shampoo-chan's dish too, did you not, Ranma-kun?"

"Yeah, it was great too, they all were!"

"Then what if I give the prize to-...?"

"I am sorry, 'All prizes are non-transferable, and cannot be redeemed for cash'."

"What? But that is not-..."

"I said that you won the contest fair and square, and I insist that you make use of your prize."

Shampoo and Ukyo pictured Kasumi and Ranma sleeping together, alone in the hotel room, doing the things they wanted to do in that situation, and were not happy at their vision. "NO~!"

"Ya can't, not that!"

"Shampoo want go first!"

Nodoka chided the two with a, "Meh!"

"But-..." Kasumi tried to think of a way to help the young man, finally reaching the conclusion that at least if she went with his, he would get a break from his usual problems.

"You have more to say?"

"I suppose not..."

"Good, then you two will leave in the morning."

"WHAT?"

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NOTES

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Okay, so the okonomiyaki only exploded with flavor, but what do you want from me? ;p

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"Please, remember kids, Just say 'NO', to Ki Draining!" ~Hinako the Crime Sensei

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OMAKE 09

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Still reeling from Nodoka's revelation of having been hiding adult materials in their library, Hinako walked through the halls in a daze. Passing by the kitchen, she heard sounds like sloppy, wet pounding, and hard gasps for breath, with the occasional shouting to add to the rhythm. Her eyes went wide as she imagined what could be making those sounds, and the images running through her mind were making her blush. She could not believe what she was hearing, coming from that room of all places!

"What are you doing, how could you do it in there?" Hinako busted into the kitchen, catching them in the act!

Kasumi lifted her head from under the counter with a large grin on her lips. "Making mochi!"

Ranma turned his sweaty face toward the door, clearly working hard. "Well, ya know, it's rainin', we can't do it outside!"

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What will happen in the next chapter as our hero takes a trip to Hakone with Kasumi? Come back next time for, 'Now We're Cooking with Eel' or 'Number One with a Bullet Train', and find out!


	34. Chapter 34

Warning: The Alluminati are trying to take over our minds and cause us to eat and drink everything out of cans! Beware the Foil Heads! They are coming for your fan fiction! Use your powers to stop them by reading and reviewing!

Sorry about the short chapter, the next few will be longer.

Chapter 34 - Undressed for Suc-cess

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Shampoo had taken a while to come to terms with losing the battle, taking solace in the fact that at least it had not been Ukyo who had beaten her. She had seen his reactions, and knew that if Kasumi had not been thrust into the competition, she would have won! She trusted the older girl, after all she continued supporting her claim, and had even tried to give her the tickets, but that did not make losing out on this opportunity any easier.

As was her habit, she had waited until everyone had fallen asleep, pulling down Ranma's boxers, and took a moment to enjoy the sight, glad for the bright moonlight illuminating the room. Beginning her nightly ritual, she wondered if Ranma would miss this while he was gone, and what she might be able to do to prevent that.

Suddenly she felt an intense pain in her jaw, and found herself barely able to move it. 'Aiyaaaa... Shampoo lock up again! Sometime think Husband almost too too big.' Not allowing herself to be daunted, she rubbed on him with her breasts, and continued to lick as well as she could, while massaging her jaw with her free hand. She was proud of herself that these cases of temporomandibular joint dysfunction were becoming far less frequent the more she practiced.

When she had finally managed to earn her treat, and her jaw had loosened back up, she did not allow it to relax, deciding instead to continue for a second round. She wanted to make certain that he was plenty 'relaxed' for the trip, just in case her backup plan did not succeed.

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Kasumi awoke as usual, to find that Ranma had already left them again, and as she crawled out from the small pile of bodies, she looked down noting how cute they all looked as they slept. If only two of them could get along as well while they were awake...

She decided she would first run the bath for Ranma and the others before she started taking down all of the laundry they had washed the day before. She had to admire the quality of the material and the needlecraft of each of the garments, they had to have been very expensive if they were not homemade. They may not have been her style, but she could not deny that they were well made, it was only too bad that Ranma could not appreciate them, she knew they would look good on his cursed body...

Turning around to retrieve the next item, she was surprised to see Ranma walking through the door with a basket of folded clothing as well. "Oh my, I would have thought you would be exercising right now."

"Didn't want ya ta have ta do all a' this fer me too, ya done enough already."

"Oh, it is no trouble at all, I enjoy it."

"Ya spend all this time helpin' others, but what makes ya happy?"

"It DOES make me happy to be able to help you like this."

"But what're ya plannin' ta do?"

"What do you mean? I am folding laundry before I start breakfast."

"Naw, I mean 'big picture' stuff, yer always askin' me what I want, but what do ya want, ya know 'long term'?"

"I do not understand, I just want to help you. I do not have any other motivation."

"No, I mean after that, when we ain't livin' tagether no more."

"Oh my! Do you ...not want me around any longer, Ranma-kun?"

"I DIDN'T SAY THAT! I just meant, ya know, like what're yer goals?"

"I told you that, I just want to help you."

"After that, ya gotta wanna do something fer yerself, don't ya? Everyone's got dreams an' stuff, right?"

"Um, well, I do not know, other than taking care of my household, my only dreams are for my family, including you, to have a happy life. I had always assumed that I would be needed by them forever..."

"But that ain't right! Ya can't just live yer whole life fer other people, ya gotta have somethin' just fer Kasumi-san! What would ya do if ya didn't have a family ta take care a'?"

"Oh my, Ranma-kun! Why would you say such a horrible thing?"

"I didn't mean it like they were dead er nuthin', just that they were all livin' happy lives, an' didn't need ya ta take care a' 'em."

Kasumi's mood did not brighten much with his reassurances that her hypothetical family was living a content life, but she tried to calm herself along with a sniffle. "You would not throw me away too, would you Ranma-kun?"

"WHAT? NO! That ain't what I mean! I mean like hobbies, er a job, er somethin' like that! Does anythin' call yer name?"

"But, I LIKE what I do... Do you not like me doing it?"

"No, I love you doing it... but I want ya have fun, and enjoy yer life."

"Oh well, then we do not have a problem! I AM enjoying my life!"

It was difficult to argue with the blissful look on Kasumi's beautiful face, and he tried to change the subject for the time being, planning to pick it up again later. "Well, that's good, I guess..."

"Yes, yes it is. There were also outfits for men in with these, how about you try one on? This one is very similar to your normal style." Kasumi held up an off-white shirt with a dragon pattern, that was slightly longer than his usual one.

"Um, well, ya think I should?" He finished folding the last of the dresses, and placed it into the trunk.

"It would be rude of us not to accept this gift, would you not agree? What would you like to do with the dresses?"

"I don't care, ya keep 'em, er give 'em ta Shampoo ...whatever. I'm goin' ta take my bath now..."

"Shall I wash your back again?" Kasumi had a bit of a hopeful tone to her voice.

She could see him blush as he turned away from her. "Naw, that's okay, I can do it myself! Thanks though!"

Ranma took off, not wanting to give anyone else a chance to stop him, leaving an unsurprised yet disappointed Kasumi behind in the light breeze he had caused as he ran passed her. "Oh my..." Suddenly tempted to take her morning bath early, she resisted the urge and finished folding and sorting the rest of the laundry, taking all of the other male outfits that did not need adjustments to fit Ranma to his room to put away instead.

"Mmmm, zao'an, Kasumi-nee-chan." The sleepy voice stretched across the room, softly alerting the only other conscious entity in the room.

"Good morning to you as well, Shampoo-chan."

The younger woman rubbed her eyes as she slowly disengaged herself from the ever-shrinking pile. "What is do so early?"

"I was just putting away the laundry."

"Oh, mean, all dress that hang around?"

"Not quite, though that brings up something, do you have a moment?"

"Is okay." Shampoo finished getting up, not wanting to disturb Hinako as she did, even if she would have been happy to kick Ukyo out of the room, through a window. Shaking off the sleep, she grabbed her nightie and quietly followed Kasumi from Ranma's room to the laundry room, where the taller woman pointed toward the large trunk.

"Ranma-kun asked me to give you this, or rather, what is inside of it."

Curiously, the young woman walked over to open the chest and peered inside, seeing the dresses that had been hanging the night before. "Aiyaaa! Is really for Shampoo?"

"That is what Ranma-kun said, yes."

"Onee-chan no want wear too?"

"Oh my, no, I could never wear such a revealing thing... Besides, they would look so much better on someone with a figure like yours."

Turning back toward her friend, she gave her a critical eye. "Shampoo think Kasumi-onee-chan ...how say, 'sell self short'?"

"Too true my dears! What are we talking about?" Nodoka stepped through the doorway, taking in the scene and was completely distracted from her intentions of bathing.

"Onee-chan think no look good in too too pretty dress. Shampoo think is no true."

Kasumi tried to stammer out a protest, but was not given a chance to respond. "Bu-..."

"Oh, I see... Wait, do you mean those dresses from yesterday?"

"Haaaaiii! Ranma give to Shampoo! Want see what look like on Onee-chan."

"Well, that is nice of you." Nodoka smiled at the two girls' blooming friendship.

"Mother want pick out dress?"

"Oh no, that is not necessary, you do not need to do that."

"Is okay! Is many many dress, pick any one want!" Opening the trunk, Shampoo strted pointing out patterns she thought might appeal to the older woman.

"Oh, those 'are' quite beautiful, are they not?"

"Is true." The young woman beamed with pride at the extravagant gift she had received from her airen.

"And you said that Ranma gave them to you?" Nodoka eyes the girl and her gifts carefully, wondering what the implications of it might be.

Shampoo nodded energetically, displaying a smile that threatened to split her face in half. "Mmhum, mmhum!"

"Then why would you want to give them away?"

"Is so many! Why Shampoo is only one what has dress beautiful? No seem fair to Shampoo."

Nodoka considered the options, and wondered. "Well, maybe if more of us wear them, it will help encourage-..."

"RANMA! WO AI NI!"

As soon as Ranma stepped through the sliding door, he found himself in the vice-like glomp of the perky warrior. "Oh, hey Shampoo, everyone, good morning?"

"Why yes, yes it is a fine day for a trip, do you not agree, Kasumi-chan?"

"Oh my..." The young woman blushed at the thought of traveling to another city for an overnight trip with Ranma.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Walking down the street, suitcase in hand and a pack on his back, Ranma let out a sigh and complained without thinking. "Why'd I gotta get all th' bags?"

"Because that is what men do, Ranma." Nodoka admonished her son.

"Ranma-kun, would you like for me to carry my own luggage?"

"Naw, Kasumi-san, ya ain't gotta do that..." Ranma blushed and turned away, unable to ask Kasumi to haul anything.

"If no mind, then why Airen say thing?" Shampoo giggled as her 'silly airen'.

"I dunno... It ain't like they're heavy're nuthin', I just don't get why it's so big. We're only goin' fer one day." Ranma shifted his backpack higher onto his left shoulder before lifting the large suitcase onto his right.

A blushing Kasumi covered her face. "Oh, I, um, I am sorry Ranma-kun, I will explain once we are on the train."

"Um, whatever... ain't like it's a big deal, was just wonderin'."

"Was it something 'fun'?" The Saotome matriarch grinned at the salacious scenes that flashed through her mind.

"Fun? I suppose, in a way..." Kasumi thought about the gifts she was planning to buy and smiled, at least she would enjoy it, she was not so certain about Ranma.

"Well now, here is your platform, the train should be here shortly. Do you have everything you need?"

"Yes mother, and do not worry, I will take good care of your camera." Kasumi gave her elder a polite bow.

"Thank you Kasumi-chan, I hope you are able to get plenty of nice photographs, but make certain that you put having fun at the top of your list of priorities."

"Yes mother..."

"Ranma?"

"Yeah, Mom?"

"Since it will be just the two of you, I want you to spend four times longer doing your homework with Kasumi-chan while you are gone."

"What?" Kasumi and Ranma both blushed thinking about exactly what 'homework' she intended for him to do. "...Oh myyyy."

"Promise me."

"Okay, fine, I give ya my word."

"Kasumi-nee-chan, no forget what promise Shampoo either, is okay?"

Kasumi hid her face, not wanting anyone to see how red it was. "I-, I- will try to do my best!"

"As Great-Grandmother say, 'Is no try, only do, and do not'."

"I will do my best!" Still blushing, Kasumi continued to hide as she nodded.

"Is good."

"What's that about?" Ranma looked between them, misgivings written plainly upon his features.

"NOTHING!" Kasumi was shocked by her own fervor, but still unwilling to discuss a certain arrangement she had with the younger girl.

"Go on now, make your mother proud."

Nodoka and Shampoo watched as the pair boarded the train, curious as to how it would turn out, and both longing to be able to have joined them, albeit for very different reasons. "So, do you think they will enjoy our little surprises?"

"Hope so." The two sly grins grew as waited for the train to leave, hoping to see them in their seats.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"So, ya left room in th' bag, fer souvenirs?" Ranma was finding it much more difficult to maneuver with the large bag while following the young woman through the tight train cars.

"That, and the cooler."

"Cooler?"

"This is Hakone, we just cannot leave without some of those kuro-tamago!"

"Black eggs?"

"Have you not seen them? With how much you have traveled, I would have figured you would have gone through there."

"Maybe, but it ain't like I remember much about each place, especially the ones from when I was really small, and Pops didn't treat me ta much."

"Oh, I am sorry, I did not think of that!"

"Here is your seat. You can open or close the window blinds with those switches there. You seat trays are operated here. Your ticket includes our special 'Romancecar' bento, served in a box shaped like our lovely train, which is yours to keep." The young attendant bowed as she stepped out of their way, allowing them to be seated.

"Romancecar, what's that?"

"This is a 'Romancecar', named for the 'romance seats', or 'love seats' as some call them, which do not have a center armrest, to allow for a more 'intimate' trip for lovebirds such as yourselves."

Ranma's face turned red as he tried to deny the 'accusation'. "But, we're not-..."

A furiously blushing Kasumi chided her companion. "No need to be rude, Ranma-kun."

"Uh, I'm sorry...?" Not certain why he was apologizing, just sat back in his seat.

"That is better." Kasumi turned to face the young woman. "Thank you very much."

"You are very welcome, Ojou-sama, Waka-sama, I wish you the best of luck with your relationship! If you need anything else, just call for me, Hachiko Hojo. Your bento will be delivered soon after we start moving, is there anything at all I can do for you now?"

"No, thank you, Hojo-san."

"Very good then, just press this button if you need me. I will close your curtain here to give you both some ...privacy. Ganbatte!" Giving them a wink and imitating a cat's paw with her fist, she closed the screen before they heard her footsteps retreating.

A bit put off by being wished 'good luck' before they departed, Ranma tried to change the subject. "So, what was that about black eggs?"

Kasumi was mildly surprised that Ranma had not reacted to their attendant's feline impression, but decided to consider it a good thing and move on. "Well, Hakone is famous for their hot springs, which are high in sulfur. Cooking eggs in this water turns the shells black, and it is supposed to add up to seven years to your life for every one you consume."

"Then we need ta make sure ya get ta eat lots of 'em, 'cause if anyone deserves it, it's Kasumi-san."

"Oh no, you should eat them, it will give you more time to find all of the happiness that life has to offer!"

"Yer th' one that ought a' be happy, it ain't me."

"Why would you say such a thing?"

"Yer th' kindest person I know, that's why!"

"But what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Why don't YOU deserve to be happy?"

"I don't know, ask th' kami ...they seem ta have their reasons. If ya got any ideas, please, tell me."

Kasumi pulled Ranma into an embrace, hugging his face tightly to her chest. "Oh Ranma-kun! Everyone deserves to be happy, do they not?"

Ranma's muffled voice was clear enough for Kasumi to hear. "Not everyone, there are some pretty bad people out there."

"Maybe if they were truly happy, they would not be so bad."

"I guess, but the things that make some people happy, are pretty messed up, like Happosai stealin', an' gropin', an' stuff."

"Do you think that perhaps if Grandfather found a girlfriend that it would not be necessary?"

"I don't know, but I wouldn't wish that on just about anyone I know..." Kasumi did not let him go as the train started to move, and the feeling on his face caused him some distraction, but he could not shake the feeling that someone had been watching him...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Shampoo and Nodoka waved as the train pulled away, anticipating a long night without Ranma.

"So, while they are away, I do believe we can make up for some lost time."

"What mean, 'lost time'?"

"You did ask me for more 'training', did you not?"

"Aiyaaa..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Particularly in light of someone returning with their promised food soon, Ranma felt a bit uncomfortable with his head buried in her bosom, it made him feel a bit like a child, and he did not want to be seen in that way. "Er, Kasumi-san, um ...I don't suppose ya'd mind..."

His muffled voice filtered though and she felt embarrassed at her bold actions, quickly trying to recover. "Oh, oh my, did, did you want to ...do your 'homework' while we have this time instead?" Her face grew flush as she thought about him wanting hug her. She pulled him up so that their faces were touching, and glad that they were in a 'private' booth.

While this was not much of an improvement in his opinion, it was certainly a bit less awkward, at least they seemed more on equal terms, and not a boy being pampered by his mother. If nothing else, they had few other things to do while they waited and he had promised his actual mother that he would hold Kasumi in his arms several times a day in lieu of the others. He did not think that it was fair to Kasumi, but she always looked a bit hurt when he tried to broach the topic of letting her off the hook, and he did not want to see her cry.

He tried to straighten his back, and adjusted his arms so that they were over hers, remembering what his mother had told him about 'real men taking charge' in these situations. He did his best to suppress his nervousness and project an aura of strength and resolve, though due to his surroundings, he was still finding it difficult to relax.

"Mmmm, so warm..." Kasumi felt comforted and wondered why it made her feel so ...young and energized. His perceived boldness encouraged her as well, compelling her to rub his back with one hand, and toy with his braid with the other. She kept her voice low and tried to be reassuring as she whispered into his ear. "It is okay. You can be at peace. Everything is going to be all right."

Ranma found himself slowly bolstered by his companion, and the unbelievable softness that he felt Kasumi's delicate form against his own. The anxiousness he felt, beginning to melt away by the welcoming woman next to him as he started to calm. Somewhere in the back of his mind, the little voice that told him that something bad was going to happen had quieted as Kasumi's aura of serenity washed over him.

The curtain flew open revealing the young woman who had brought them to their seats, holding a tray of food. "Oh ho! I am terribly sorry, did I come at a bad time you two?"

Ranma's apprehension about being in a public place returned tenfold, and he jumped back, as far away from Kasumi and the window as possible. This had the unwanted effect of bumping the server, and causing their bento to go flying into the air. Having a flash of being splashed by the water, Ranma's super reflexes went into action, catching the liquid in the glasses, before snatching the bento boxes out of the air to capture the food before it could make a mess.

Kasumi had still been in shock over Ranma's quick retreat, and could barely believe her eyes as he blurred into motion, barely moving as the soy sauce ladened rice landed on her chest and fell into her lap. "Oh my..."

"Aw, damnit, I'm sorry Kasumi-san. I didn't mean ta-."

"It is not your fault, Ranma-kun..."

"No! It is mine! I am SO sorry, Ojou-sama! Is there anything I can do-...?"

"If you could bring me a few more napkins, and a plastic bag, that would be most kind."

"Certainly! Of course! I will be right back!"

"Ranma, if you would be so kind, I need to change so that I may treat this before it stains, would you be so kind as to stand guard and make certain that no one else opens our curtain while I do?"

"Sure!" Glad that she did not ask him to help her change, like several of his actual iinazuke might have done, he hastily agreed, and stepped out into the walkway, to keep their curtain closed.

"You did not have to leave... Oh well, to work." After closing the window shades, Kasumi set her housedress aside, using the damp napkins she had to soak up as much of the sauce as she could before pulling out her suitcase. Opening her luggage she immediately noticed something was not as she left it, not only were there several of the skimpy Chinese style silk dresses, but her normal ones were missing! "Oh my!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ranma heard Kasumi's scream, and threw open the curtain to see what was the matter, however when he saw her crouched over her suitcase in only her light-blue lingerie he blushed, panicked, and closed his eyes. "I- I- I'm sorry Kasumi-san, but are you okay?"

"Well, I am fine, but I believe I have a little problem..."

"Do ya need me ta do anything?"

"Just do not think badly of me, this is all I have to wear on our trip." Holding up one of the silky skirts, she pouted.

Cracking open one eye, he peeked at the obvious invitation, assuming Kasumi would not intentionally embarrass him. "But, I thought ya didn't like them, why'd ya pack 'em?"

"I did not pack them! Other than my cooler, the only thing in here that I packed are my unmentionables!"

That caught Ranma off guard, he was used to hearing about people stealing underthings, but this was something new... "Wait, so who... Shampoo?"

"Maybe, but some things in there belong to your mother as well..."

"Oh, like what?"

Realizing what she had let slip, she slammed the suitcase closed. "Nothing! It is not important... I- I- just do not think I can wear this..."

"It ain't that difficult, ya just gotta wrap it around an' use these wooden dowels to go through the loops here..."

"No, I mean it is too revealing..." She blushed a bit as she thought about being seen in public in such an outfit.

"More than ya are now?"

"Eeep!" Kasumi had almost forgotten that she was sitting on a train in her underwear, and was not certain what to do next.

"Are you all right in there?"

"Ya can't come in!"

"Now, now, I know this is the "Romancecar", but certain things are just not allowed..."

"We're not!" Poking his head out of the curtain, Ranma faced the attendant. "We're just tryin' ta clean up that' mess."

"Oh, I am terribly sorry, here are your napkins. Is there anything else I can do to help?"

"Just don't let nobody else in here, if ya don't mind." Ranma tried to smile reassuringly, but his nervousness did not help to convey his intent.

"That I can do, just do not do anything 'too' dirty ...without coming to get me first, Cutie." Winking, she blew him a kiss.

"We're not!" Ranma pulled his head back inside the small compartment, without turning around. "What can I do ta help ya, Kasumi-san?"

"Psssst." There was a tapping from the hallway, and Ranma peeked out to see what was wrong. The attendant turned to him, keeping her voice to a whisper. "I know it's not my place, but you probably shouldn't call your girlfriend '-san', you should try something cuter, or no honorific at all."

"But-..." Ranma tried to protest her misconception, but was interrupted by the cry from within.

"Oh my, if I wear any of these, my bra and panties can be seen!"

"It looks like you need to get back in there." Winking, she flashed the victory sign with her fingers. "Just remember what I said."

"How does Shampoo-chan do it?"

Ranma had to shake his head as he pulled it back into their room.

"Ya rather have my spare outfit?"

"Oh, my, no, I could not take your only outfit..."

"It ain't my 'only' outfit, just th' only other one I brought with me, but we can wash it once we get there, it ain't really a problem, if ya want..."

"Well, I would rather not wear boy's clothing..."

"Now ya know how I feel..."

"...I do not want you to think of me as a dirty girl..."

"Yer the LAST person I would think that about! It don't matter what ya do!"

Noting that Ranma had still not turned around, she made up her mind, and quickly removed her bra before putting on the dress and then removing her panties! "Oh my... I cannot believe I am doing this!"

"What are you doing Ojou-sama, is it something fun?"

"Perhaps for some..." She was so nervous she thought her heart was going to burst, and in spite of the tight fitting dress, she still felt bare to the world. It took every bit of her courage to tap Ranma on the shoulder after putting her luggage away. "You do not have to keep staring at the wall, Ranma-kun, I am not going to bite."

"Awww..."

"Thanks, I guess were done now..."

"Then I will be going. Please enjoy the rest of your trip!"

"What did that young woman want to talk to you about, Ranma-kun?"

"Just sayin' that we might not sound like a real couple..." Turning around, he saw Kasumi in the skin-tight silk dress for the first time. "Ah, a' ara, ara, ara!"

"Is something wrong, Ranma-kun? Do I look bad?"

"NO! Ya look great, Kasumi- ...chan?" Studying her expression, he hesitantly tried to follow the woman's advice.

Her embarrassment intensifying at the honorific as much as the complement, she turned away, covering her face. "Oh my, you should not say such things."

"Urk! I'm sorry, it's just that, that's what that woman was saying in the hall, that we didn't look real, cause I cause ya 'Kasumi-san'..."

"No, I meant that you should not lie to others, it is not nice."

Ranma twiddled his fingers, and rubbed a random spot on the floor with his foot. "It ain't a lie, yer always cute, but ya look really pretty now."

"Oh, oh my... I-... But I am 'so' much older than you."

"Yer really not, but that don't matter, ya think only girls my age, er younger can look good?"

Ranma look of incredulity hit home as his teacher instantly came to her mind, and she had to concede his point. "Well, no, but I am just a drab housekeeper."

"That ain't true, like I told ya before, yer Kasumi Tendo, th' most beautiful person I know, both inside an' out. I'd bet if all a' ya entered a beauty contest, ya'd beat their pants off!"

"Why would I do that?"

"No, I mean ya'd win easy!"

"Oh, do not be silly... Shall we eat our lunch while it is still warm?"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Exhilarated by Ranma's earlier flattery, Kasumi managed to almost walk brazenly beside him, something she had never thought she would do! As was expected of her, she had always walked at least three steps behind any man she had been with, starting with her father. That was the saying after all, 'onna wa sanpo sagatte', 'a woman should walk three steps behind', but being with Ranma, dressed as she was, so far from home, she just felt incredibly emboldened, as if she were a whole new person! She had never felt so young and free in her life, even as a child she had to live up to the expectations of her parents, but now that weight seemed to be completely gone, and she just wanted to dance!

Ranma was enjoying watching Kasumi flitter about as she took in the sights, enjoying both the large and small things that they passed, from tourist traps that she wanted to visit later, to flowers, children, and small animals that came into view. It was almost as if she were seeing everything for the first time. Had it been anyone else, he might have been worried, but for the gentle older woman, it seemed almost natural, like watching a fairy princess, though in that dress, possibly one from one of those late night anime he had seen Nabiki watching a time or two when he had been unable to sleep, or the manga some of the boys would bring to school.

While he usually did not have much interest in visiting places that were not about learning a new martial art, Kasumi's mood was infectious, and he was having a difficult time keeping his expression stoic. Other than their luggage, the only thing keeping him from truly relaxing, was that he could not shake the underlying feeling of 'wrongness', as if something bad could happen at any moment. He felt stares, but could not tell if they were just looking at the oddity, or they were being 'watched' in the classical sense of the term. He did not get the impression of anyone familiar, but he knew plenty of people who were good at disguising their presence. There was something that had just been bothering him for some time, and if anything were to happen to Kasumi because of someone after him, he could never forgive himself!

More than anything, thanks to her lack of lingerie and high cut dress, he felt he needed to protect her from prying eyes, and casually stepped between her and any onlooker, whenever the skirt would twirl out too far and he felt their stares getting a bit too intense. He was not about to allow anyone to peep on Kasumi during his watch, even if she seemed to have forgotten the fact herself.

"Ranma-kun! Is this not the cutest thing?"

Looking down at the sculpture of a kitten batting at a string, the young martial artist felt a moment's revulsion. "I guess..."

"Oh my, I am sorry, I almost forgot... Let us hurry to the inn, I am sure you want to set that heavy thing down." Kasumi covered her face with her hands, mentally chiding herself for her thoughtlessness.

"Oh it ain't really heavy, I'm just glad yer enjoyin' yerself."

His heartfelt smile helped her relax, and look forward to what might lie ahead. "Well, we have not been on a proper vacation in such a long time, and everyone says the hot springs here are just wonderful!"

"I ain't sure I've ever really been on one, but then I'd probably just use it ta train there anyway..."

Ranma's cocky, lopsided smile made her giggle. "It is admirable to work hard, but you need to have fun as well."

"I have fun! Ain't nuthin' more fun than masterin' a new technique. Ya ain't one ta talk though, when was th' last time ya did somethin' ta just have fun?"

"I just helped you wash these dresses yesterday!"

"No, I meant just fer fun, not fer helping."

"But helping IS fun, besides, I enjoy spending time with you, Ranma-kun, no matter what we are doing."

"Thanks, I like hangin' out with ya too, but I mean, when was th' last time ya did something' just fer yerself?"

"I will let you in on a little secret, I help others for my own benefit as well, it makes me feel good."

"No matter how true that is, some days, th' person ya gotta help is yerself."

"Well then, how about we promise to help each other do just that then?"

"What'd ya mean?"

Ranma hesitated for a moment, causing her to stop walking if she did not want to pass him. "Hmmmm, for starters, for this whole trip, if one of us sees the other not having fun, we will do something about it. How about that?"

"I guess that don't sound too bad..."

Kasumi's smile broadened as she thought about all of the entertaining things they were going to do. "Yatta! There is the inn, shall we go?" Completely forgetting herself, she rushed toward the hotel.

Ranma followed behind as Kasumi briskly walked up the hill, where a slightly portly woman appeared to be awaiting them. "Mina-san, we have guests!" She clapped her hands as they heard people moving from inside. "Please, allow me to help you with your bags..."

"Are ya sure ya want ta?" Ranma balked at her offer, stepping back as she tried to reach for his baggage.

"Of course, it is our pleasure to be of any assistance to our friends."

"Have we met?" He raised an eyebrow at the comment.

"Oh no, that is just what we call our patrons here at this humble establishment. We like to think of everyone who stays here as family."

"Oh my, that is nice, isn't it Ranma-kun?" Kasumi's smile brightened the room.

"Oh yeah, just like being at home, ya want us ta do some dishes too, how about laundry?"

Kasumi started to get excited for a moment, before she realized that Ranma had been joking.

"Oh, my honored friend, you jest! Now, how about you allow me to take your bag."

"If ya insist." Setting down the sizable suitcase, Ranma stepped back only to see the woman struggle to lift it. "Are ya sure ya don't want..."

"No, it's fine..." After a moment of grappling, the okami managed to heft it onto one of their carts. "Now, how about your backpack?"

"Let's just say I forgot I was wearin' it, okay?" He winked at he older woman, grinning as he did.

"What? Why is that?"

"Well, this is the 'heavy' bag."

"Heavier than ...this? What do you have in there. rocks?"

"Weights too."

"What? Why would you pack that?" Kasumi looked on, unable to believe what she had heard.

"Well the pack was too light ta be good exercise otherwise, Pops always made sure we carried whatever we needed and crammed it to the brim, it was good trainin'."

The service manager's eyes bugged out ...and she thought her grandmother's training had been hard. "Oh, I see, well, we hope that your stay here at the Gora Yamano will be much easier. Did you say you have a reservation?"

Kasumi stepped forward, holding over the ticket she had gotten from Nodoka. "Yes, for two, under the name 'Saotome'."

"Well then, may I welcome you to our establishment, mister and missus Saotome."

"Oh my..." Kasumi blushed as she realized how that sounded.

"Newlyweds are you? Then come, let us show you to one of our finest suites!"

"What?" Ranma was starting to panic, until Kasumi gently placed her hand upon his and, though still incredibly uncomfortable, it did calm him a bit. Luckily for their impromptu 'cover story', a nervous 'groom', was not exactly an uncommon sight around there.

"Is that really okay?" Kasumi did not wish to cause anyone any problems, they were staying there for free after all.

"It is fine, no extra charge, we are almost never busy on Sunday nights. You practically have the place to yourselves."

"Oh my..."

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After quickly settling into their room and making certain that Kasumi's dress had not been stained, the pair decided to go sightseeing. However, Kasumi was completely restless until they had stopped into a number of souvenir shops to buy omiyage. She had wanted to buy most of the eggs in the morning before they got on the train, but she just had to see what else was available in the stores. Most of the standard gifts from the area were edible, so she made a mental list of things she would need to get on her way out, and how much time she would need to give herself so they would not miss their train home. Just before she had given up on finding anything non-perishable, they ran across a local craftsman who made various yosegi style puzzle boxes.

She found it fascinating to watch the demonstrations the shopkeep had put on for them, some so complicated that it took the man almost ten minutes to open. She had read about these boxes, but that had nothing on actually seeing them in person. It was so interesting that even Ranma had found them interesting for a while. It had only taken her a bit longer to have picked one out for everyone she needed a gift, and being a tourist town, he offered to deliver them to their hotel.

Happy to not have to carry them around without his backpack, Ranma allowed himself to continue to be led around as Kasumi excitedly looked at various sights. They visited several temples, art museums, including an open-air one, and even a ruined castle! He may not have cared about a lot about most of what they had been seeing, but he was glad that Kasumi was enjoying herself. They had walked for more than an hour in relative silence, with him just nodding at his companion's jubilant observations, as they hurried from one attraction to another, when his stomach decided to protest whether he liked it or not.

"Oh, I am so sorry, I completely got caught up in sightseeing, that I lost track of the time. We need to hurry if we are going to make it back in time for the meal..."

"Ya ain't gotta worry 'bout that. If yer ready ta go, we can get there in just a moment."

"What, how?" Suddenly Kasumi blushed at the memories of the several times in which Ranma had given her a 'ride'. "Oh my..."

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"Hey, I'm just sorry ya didn't get ta see all a' th' stuff ya wanted taday."

"Aw, that's nice, but what about you, Ranma-kun? What do you want to do?"

"I don't really care, unless there's some kind a' special martial arts thing here, it's all pretty much th' same ta me."

"Oh my, do you mean you don't like it?"

"Naw, it ain't like that, it's just that I don't like none a' it more than anythin' else, ya know? It's all nice, an' so as long as yer happy, then that's all that matters ta me." Ranma looked up to smile at her with a twinkle in his eye.

"Well, how about this then, I have heard that the hot springs here, have many health benefits, perhaps a nice long soak will help you get stronger or stay healthy longer... That is how the black eggs are made after all."

"Ha, I don't know anyone who don't like a good soak! Best way to end a long day!"

"Or start one, ne?"

"Before you two retire for the evening, there is a small ritual we have for all of our noble friends, such as yourselves, and we would be honored if you would join us."

Ranma had been about to try to refuse, not wanting to be a bother to anyone, when he was cut off. "It would be our pleasure! Thank you very much! Is that not right, Ranma-kun?"

"Uh, sure, yeah, Kasumi ...-chan." For a moment he thought he had seen Kasumi blush again, but had lost his train of thought the moment the service manager started speaking again.

"Very good, thank you for considering us! We hope you enjoy our ceremony, most people do." With that, she turned to leave, pausing for only a moment. "Is there anything else the two of you need while I am here? Was your meal to your satisfaction?"

"Oh yes, everything is just lovely." With a smile, the two women bowed to each other before Kasumi and Ranma entered their room. After a moment, Kasumi turned to face her companion, a skittish tone in her voice. "Um, Ranma-kun?"

"Hai?" Pausing while going through his pack, he stood and turned to face her.

"I do not really mean anything by this, but I need to ask... Are you planning to use that honorific for the entire trip?"

"Um, well, I was just tryin' ta-... I'm sorry, do ya hate it? I didn't mean nuthin' by it! Ya can smack me if it'd make ya feel better."

"Okay, if you insist."

Ranma was astonished that she actually agreed to it, but held his ground as she started closing the gap between them.

Leaning in very closely, she quickly kissed him on the lips before retreating. "There, I just smacked you on the mouth!" With a short giggle, she turned back to face him. "I did not hate it, I think it is cute, I only wanted to know if I should be prepared to expect it for a while longer."

"Well, that woman on the train said- ...and so I thought- ...ya know, keeping up appearances an' stuff."

Kasumi giggled again. "Fine, if that is what you wish to do." She hopped forward, her finger lightly tapping his nose. "A-na-ta!"

Ranma blushed as he was teased, even more so when he noticed her starting to remove the slinky silk dress... "WhAAAt are ya doin'?"

"Why, I am changing into a yukata of course."

"Don't ya want me ta go outside, er at least turn around?"

"Why? We are 'married' now, besides, we have bathed together many times, there is no need to be shy at this point, 'Honey'. We 'are' family after all."

"But-..."

"No 'but's, you get dressed too, or do you need your 'dutiful wife' to help you?" The dress just hanging from her shoulders, she started to move toward him, an amused expression on her beautiful features.

The impression of Shampoo sent a shiver up his spine and he hurried to change. "No! I can do it myself!"

Kasumi gave him a slightly disappointed look, while slowly letting the material fall to the floor. "Okay, but just ask me if you need a hand, ...'Darling'."

"Yer not gonna let me live this down, are ya?" He tried to look on the bright side, at least she had not tried to hit him or take his money!

Kasumi did not reply, she just giggled and turned away to grab one of the yukata left for them by the hotel.

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OMAKE 10

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Kasumi walked into Ranma's room to see him naked and being held down by both Ukyo and Shampoo, in the middle of the floor. They both looked up to see her staring back at them with a surprised look on their faces.

"Wha-, what're ya doing here?"

"Would Onee-chan care help rub lotion on skin, before we suck hose again?"

"Oh my!"

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How will our heroes' vacation go? Come back next time for, 'Hangin' in Hakone', or 'The Kitsune Wedding'


	35. Chapter 35

Warning: Remember, Strokey the Boar says, "Only YOU can prevent story abandonment! Please review!" ...And send nudes. ;)

Sorry about the shortness of the chapters lately, too much going on, but hopefully I can start getting ahead now. Not sure how long this will go, but enjoy Hakone.

Chapter 35 - Honey on the Moon

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Perhaps it was the change in scenery, her lack of responsibilities, or even her lack of undergarments, but Kasumi still could not figure out why she felt so different, even now that she was in more familiar attire. She just could not help feeling so young and free, almost as if she were back in school with her mother waiting for her at home, without a care in the world. She had a song on her lips and half of the time she was not sure if she were walking, dancing, or even floating.

Neither of them had any idea what to expect as they were led out of the inn and over to Hakone shrine a short distance away. Kasumi was eagerly waiting to learn what they had in mind, while Ranma was a bit more leery, hoping he would not need to protect Kasumi from kidnappers, or worse. As they ascended the stairs, Kasumi was taking in everything they passed, clearly enjoying the beauty of their surroundings. They had passed by the holy place on the way from the train, but had been so focused on the hotel, they had barely noticed it.

They had been brought into the main room in the shrine, where they were seated in the center of the room, surrounded by what seemed to be most of the older people in town, and Ranma had to look twice to make certain that he did not recognize any of them. Their 'ceremony' would be immediately suspect if he had seen almost anyone he knew, his mother had arranged this trip after all, and if she was at all like his father, 'anything' was possible. He had not sensed any plotting, but he would not allow himself to drop his guard just yet...

The old priest shook as he stepped toward the center of the room, looking quite frail. "So, these are the young lovers!"

"Oh my..." Kasumi blushed as she turned away.

"I-, we-..." Ranma had to remind himself that they were still pretending as he choked off his protest.

"Yes?" The old man looked at the seated young man with a curious expression.

"Sorry, never mind..." Ranma hung his head in shame, feeling bad about having interrupted someone who was clearly having a difficult time as it was.

A broad smile came across the fragile man, and it quickly spread around the room along with murmurs from those gathered. Pulling out his onusa, he began to chant as he waved his wand over the couple and the table between them. Several miko joined the old man, dancing around the room with their own smaller onbe, and chanting along with him.

As the chanting grew stronger, they noticed that the small bottle in the center of the table begin to emit a light glow. "And so with that, the ceremonial wine has been blessed, and now to complete the ritual..."

"Sake? Oh my, Ranma-kun, you are still underage."

"Really, I thought YOU were the younger one, my dear."

"Oh stop..." Kasumi blushed at the priest's complement.

He returned her smile with a nod. "You do not have to worry, it is amazake."

Usually it had been reserved for festivals, but Ranma had been given sweet sake before, occasionally the 'low' alcoholic variety, though typically the non-alcoholic kind. "But, what'd ya do ta it?"

"It is a blessing from the gods of our humble temple, wishing you two a long and happy life together. ...It is also very nutritious!"

A disheartened Kasumi, looking like a struck puppy, gazed into Ranma's eyes. "You mean, you won't do it?"

Knowing he could not win against that look, especially if it made to the next step, tears, Ranma did not try to protest further. "What do we gotta do?"

Overjoyed, the old man chuckled and slapped Ranma on the back, surprised that it had been like punching a brick wall. "It is quite simple my boy, we will pour the sacred sweet sake into the ceremonial ochoko, and then the two of you only need to drink the cup, at the same time ...without spilling a drop to get the blessing of the kami."

"Oh, wait, what? How can ya do that without a straw, er anythin'?" Ranma thought about the logistics of how that could be done, and blushed at the results.

Kasumi slid around the table, until she were sitting, some might say, uncomfortably close to Ranma. "Like this." She pressed their faces together, with their cheeks touching, and both of their faces flushed a deeper red. She lifted the small cup, rotating her head until their lips were almost touching just as she tilted the ochoko, pouring the sweet liquid into their mouths. "See, that was not so bad, was it?" Kasumi enjoyed the warm feeling as it filled her, radiating out from her center.

One of the women witnessing the ceremony, turned to the woman next to her and whispered into her ear. "I know it's sweet sake, but isn't that from the priest's personal supply?"

"Yeah, the priest never liked the taste of regular sake, but hated not being able to get drunk off of the typical sweet stuff."

"Should we tell them?"

"No! Don't interrupt the ceremony, it's bad luck!"

Ranma sat there frozen, and unable to move, just staring blankly into space.

After a bit more chanting by the miko, the priest stood over the couple, waving his onusa over their heads the bottle glowed once again. "May the gods always favor your union!"

"Oh my..." Kasumi blushed again as she though that a 'union' was a bit more than she had in mind ...even if the idea had its tantalizing aspects.

The miko began bringing out more bottles of sake, and passed them around the room, making certain that everyone got their fill. "The rest of that bottle is yours, you may take it back to your room and well will collect it later."

"Thank you everyone, we are honored to have been included in your party." Kasumi bowed to everyone in the room.

"It was no trouble at all, in fact we would not have had this celebration if not for you, so it is really us who should be thanking you. There is nothing better than seeing youngsters in love! Now, might I suggest you take that path by the lake on your way back, there is a tree on a hill about halfway there, where the view at this time of night is just stunning, and if you are truly meant to be together, maybe the spirits will give you a sign!"

Ranma quietly scoffed to himself, not wanting to be rude, but starting to feel uncomfortable under the intense stares of the crowd. "Well, um, Kasumi, uh-chan, ya wanna get back ta th' room then?"

"Oh Darling, you are always so ...demanding!" Kasumi blushed at the boldness of her own joke, glad that she had not been acquainted with any of the cheering people, and was unlikely to see any of them again. It was one thing to tease Ranma, it was another act so brazenly in front of so many strangers ...nonetheless, seeing his reaction had made it all worth while.

"Well, you two should hurry, you have more important things to be doing! You do not want to spend all of your time with us old farts." The older woman's indecent expression gave Kasumi a strange feeling, but she tried to ignore it as the others rushed them out and into the night.

"Newlyweds should be alone!"

"Go have fun kids, I know I would if I were you..."

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Ranma could not deny the allure of night sky. He had always loved looking up at the stars, there was just something about staring up at the vast ocean of stars that made his problems feel so small, it only put. Not only were there no clouds but the moon was bright, and the huge lake reflected it all back at them from below as well. No matter where he looked, beauty stared back at him, particularly...

Kasumi radiated happiness, from the warmth she felt not only in her belly and bosom, but also radiating from her companion. Even if she had wanted Shampoo to have had this opportunity, she no longer regretted coming along in the least, she could always send them ...no, TAKE them, yes 'take them' on a similar trip at another time. She had needed this ...and the company certainly did not hurt either. She just felt comfortable around the boy these days, she could let down her guard, and she knew he would not judge her, nor would he allow her to come to harm. She was 'safe'. When he had first arrived, Ranma had been a confused and shy boy, but now he was growing into fine young man.

As they topped the highest hill, the young woman stopped, tugging on her companion's sleeve. "Would you mind ...if we stop here for a while?"

"Why, somethin' wrong? I can carry ya if ya need me-..."

Kasumi placed her hand upon his arm. "No, I am fine, I just want to enjoy this moment a bit longer. Is that okay?"

"No, hey, yeah, whatever ya want. Ummm, where'd ya wanna sit?"

A chibi-Nabiki whispered into her ear before poofing out of existence. With a twinkle in her eye, the young woman nodded her head toward a tall tree. "How about over there? Is that all right with you?"

"Huh, yeah, I don't mind, but is there somethin' special about here?"

"What?" Lightly placing her hand upon Ranma's chest, she gently pushed him down before sitting in his lap. "Would you not like to check if we are able to see the compatibility sign, 'A-na-ta'?"

Ranma tried to resist, but the blood rushed to his face anyway. "Are ya ...really wanting ta, ya know ...um, marry me too?"

"What? Oh my, that is not my intention. I am sorry Ranma-kun, I did not mean to confuse you. I just want us to have some fun while we have this chance."

He started to relax, he was not sure what to think if someone like Kasumi were to confess to someone like him, it was beyond imagining. "Heh. That's what I thought, ain't no way ya'd-..."

"No, I do not wish to take that honor away from the person YOU choose to marry, but no matter what happens, I will always be by your side if you need me, helping in any way that I am able." She used to dream of getting married, at least after her sisters had, however as Akane's skills failed to improve so much, she had assumed she would have to give up on that dream anyway, and now that she had seen the damage that had been caused by her careless actions that day, compounded by her unwillingness to see the truth, that supposed 'goal' no longer mattered, she knew what she had to do.

"Well, uh, thanks, ya know I'll always be there fer ya too, right?" Rubbing the back of his neck out of embarrassment, he tried to look away from her, which was not an easy task from his position.

"Of course I do, Ranma-kun. You have been one of the only people who has been ...at least since mother-."

Not wanting to see her tears, Ranma tried to think of anything he could to distract her from the painful memory. "It's funny, no matter where I go, it's always the same sky looking back at me. Things might move around a bit, but it's th' same stars out there, always lookin' down on us. No matter how much some things change, others always remain th' same."

"Yes, stability has advantages, though adaptability is also a good. I supposed that is why we all need both good and bad things in our lives." The young woman sighed at that thought, not liking the idea of anyone 'needing' bad things in life.

"It'd be nice if the good outweighed the bad more often."

"Oh, but it does! Just look around at how much beauty there is right here, everywhere you look in this place, there is something wonderful! All of the art, nature, and people, blending together in harmony and joy. Just think about how much trouble those people went through to try and help us, it was what we should want to be."

"You mean jumping ta th' wrong conclusions an' makin' minors drink booze?"

"No, not that part, you silly boy, the part about them all getting together, sharing their joy, and wishing for us to have a long and happy life ...um, together."

"Exactly."

"Well, I for one, hope that we will always remain friends, and a part of each other's lives for a very, very long time." She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, leaning into his chest.

"Yeah, I don't wanna lose none a' my friends, but more 'an any a' 'em, th' one that likes me as a person, an' not just some ideal, some promised reward, er prize..." Ranma shook his head to clear the feeling of being a piece of meat. "But, ya mind if I ask ya a question?"

"Not at all."

"Well, I was just wonderin' why ya sat there..."

Slightly confused by the twinge of pain she felt in her heart, she chose to borrow another page from her sister, and deflect with humor. "Because you promised your mother that you would do your 'homework' and cuddle with me at least four times a day, and this is only your second, starting now." As she snuggled in more closely, she had to hope that the person Ranma marries might allow her this one indulgence occasionally.

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It had been another long day of cleaning, repairing, and occasionally cooking, but Mousse finally thought he was starting to bring order to the chaos that had been the Tendo estate. There were still many repairs to do, with more adding up occasionally, and the piles of trash were phenomenal, but a number of rooms were 'acceptable' by his standards. After the kitchen, the first room he had cleaned had been the one they had told him to use during his stay. It had previously been used by the eldest daughter, who had moved out shortly after they had kicked Ranma out, and he had been beaten by Akane. He was grateful that it had been one of the only rooms that had not been completely trashed, even if the remaining decor was not to his tastes.

From there, he had gone on to the restroom, the furo, and the living room, where they had their meals. The hogs he had been made to care for when he was younger had not been that messy! "Damn those pigs..."

"What's wrong with pigs?"

"Nothing, Ten- ...Akane-san."

"I used to have a pet pig, you know?"

"Yes, I am aware, as I am of why you no longer have this 'pet'. We have talked about it at length."

"Oh right." Akane blushed, and turned her head away. "I forgot, you were Mu-mu-chan then so..."

"Yes, well..."

"You know, you really ought to wear an apron while you do this, it will keep your clothes clean! Here, I made this for you." Akane pulled out one of Kasumi's old aprons, one with a picture of a duck on it, and the word 'Mousse-chan' poorly stitched across the chest in barely legible katakana. "I hope you like it."

"Ah..." Mousse did not really know how he felt about that, but the look on her imploring face told him that he could not refuse. "Yes, I do, thank you."

"What, you mean, you'll wear it?"

"Well, of course, you made it for me, did you not?"

"Yeah, but no one has ever worn anything I made for them before, not since I was little..."

"What? Hey, now there is no need to cry, I told you that I would wear it..."

"I know..." With tears of joy in her eyes, Akane ran off to hit something. "Thank you!"

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"Well Tendo-kun, what do you think of your new 'Kasumi'?"

"Hahaha, good one! Well, the boy still has a long way to go to be that good, but I believe the future of the dojo is secure!"

"That apron looks good anyway, maybe if the hair were right... Oh well, this calls for a drink, what do you say Tendo-kun?"

"Great idea my old friend! Kasumi-chan, bring the sake, would you?"

"DO NOT CALL ME THAT! ...And get your own damn booze! Besides, I think you have both had quite enough!"

"As I said, a long way to go..."

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As they sat there, overlooking Ashi lake, Kasumi wondered what had been going through Ranma's mind as they sat there in silence. He had not spoken since she had insisted that they do his 'homework', and she was worried that she had offended him. She sensed a lot of emotions from him, but 'calm' was not one of them. "Ranma-kun?"

"Usin' my name again, are ya?"

"I am sorry, did that bother you? I thought we were playing a game."

"No, it's fine, it's just kinda embarrassin' ya know?"

Thinking about how it felt to have him use the '-chan' honorific for her earlier, she could relate. "I suppose I do, but I do not really mind, if it is you doing it."

"Yeah, I don't really care what people call me, as long as it ain't a girl!"

"What is wrong with being a 'girl'?"

"Nuthin'! I just ain't one, is it that so hard ta get?" Seeing his friend look at him with that shocked expression, he felt bad about raising him voice a bit. "...Look, I'm sorry. I know I kind a' overreact ta that stuff, but ya gotta understand, Pops been beatin' that mess inta my skull since I was a kid. An' I know it took me a while ta figure it out, 'cause can't too many people, especially girls, that can fight me on equal terms, so of course I just assumed everything I knew was right! But I ain't really weaker as a girl, an' I know plenty a strong girls, even if they ain't as strong as me, er some a' th' other guys I fight, they're still way stronger than most guys, so it ain't a gender thing, it's trainin', I get that. But it ain't easy ta change th' way it feels inside, I still don't wanna be called a girl! Maybe 'cause a' Pops actin' like it was one a' th' worst insult in th' world, I guess it's all 'cause a' that contract with Mom ya told me about. Ya just can't expect me ta get over that like that, I'm tryin' ya know?"

"I do know that you are improving, but you should also understand how it feels to us, when someone acts as if we have no value."

"What? Who said that? I'll kill 'em!"

"You did, you do, your father, my father, everyone who looks down on us for being a woman."

"What? No, I-" After a moment, Ranma dropped his head. "...I'm sorry. I don't mean it like that, I really don't."

"I know you do not, but It does not feel that way on some occasions."

"I'm sorry! I don't know what I'm sayin' half th' time, I ain't good around other people, Pops ain't exactly th' best conversationalist, er th' best person, and I ain't been around many other people fer long most a' my life..." Ranma put Kasumi down, so that he could look her in the eyes before bowing his head. "Look, I know I'm just makin' excuses, but more 'en anyone else, I want ya ta know I'm tryin', and I don't think girls 're weak 're nuthin' like that, yer one a' th' strongest people I know."

"ME? How's is that? I'm not strong!" Kasumi gaped at him skeptically.

"Don't sell yerself short. Ya may not have huge muscles, but you ARE strong. I don't know too many kids who could a' done what you did at that age, bein' able ta put aside yer own grief ta take care a' yer family like that..."

"But I made so many mistakes! Just look at how everything turned out, with my sisters, with you, with everything!" the tears were starting to well up n her eyes as she thought about every mistake she could remember over the years.

"We all make mistakes, me more 'en anyone, an' ya can't blame yerself fer th' rest a' that, if anyone should take responsibility, it's yer Pops. Kids shouldn't have ta raise families!"

"But-..." Kasumi tried to turn away, but he refused to leave her line of sight.

"No 'buts', ya did th' best ya could, an' ya learned from yer mistakes, yes?" Seeing her nod as she sniffed, he continued. "Th' only real blunders 're th' ones ya don't learn from, er try ta correct..."

Kasumi thought about that for a moment, it was true, she was trying to help Ranma to make up for her mistakenly pushing him off on her sister, however that brought up another point. She had abandoned her family to their own devices, no matter her reasons, was that the right thing to do? "Ranma-kun?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you do something for me?"

"Anything, what do ya need?"

"When we get back, I would like to go see how they are doing."

"Huh, who?"

"My family, I worry that I left them in trouble, and that they cannot manage without me. If you do not mind, would you come with me? I do not think I can do alone..."

That was one of the LAST places Ranma wanted to go, the closer he got to that place, the more likely it was that he would run into one of the people who seemed to live to make his life a living hell! And here he had been doing so well to avoid the usual chaos lately too. "Well ...I guess, if ya need me ta be there."

"It would make me feel better to have someone there for emotional support."

"Me? Emotional support?"

"Very much. I continue to do and try so many new things, and it is all because you believed in me, and supported me not only around the house, but as a person. No one has every stood up to Father or the others for me, no one ever thought it was unreasonable for me to do everything around the house, and most of all, no one ever thought that I could be more than that! Because of you, even though we have a larger house, with more things to clean, I have more free time to try new and exciting things that I could never even consider before you came into my life."

"But I didn't do nuthin' special..."

"No, you did. You were the first person to treat me as anything other than a fixture around the house, you have no idea what that means to me."

"But-..."

"What was it you said to me? 'No 'buts'!' You are a special young man, and it means the world to me that you can believe in someone like me. I have made so many mistakes in my life Ranma-kun, but it was the ones I made with you that I regret the most."

"What? Ya didn't do nuthin' wrong!"

"Oh but I did! There were so many mistakes on my part that I cannot even list them all... I was not fair with you at all, starting with the day I learned of your curse."

"Hey. It was weird stuff, I don't blame nobody fer gettin' freaked out about it, it still freaks me out, an' it's MY body!"

"But it was not right, and it was not fair to you. I was just being selfish, and I did not look at it from your perspective."

"Hey, I told ya, it's okay. I know ya don't like younger guys anyway, an' I don't wanna force nobody ta marry me! Even if ya say 'it's okay', it ain't! Nobody oughta get married ta someone they don't like!"

"But I do like you, Ranma-kun, and I know that many others do as well."

"That ain't what I mean! Ya shouldn't have ta get married if ya don't wanna, er ta someone ya don't wanna! Weren't none a' ya girls involved in this 'cause ya wanted ta be!"

"What about that Kuno girl?"

"That don't count, Kodachi's crazy!"

"Are you telling me that it is crazy to like you?"

"Well, no, but ain't it?"

"Not at all, you are a wonderful young man, and you are doing so much better already!"

"What do'ya mean?"

"Ever since you have been apart from your father, your manners have improved immensely, I believe I have even seen you chewing and tasting your food! I think that if you are no longer around such bad examples, you will continue to improve in every way."

"Well, I-..."

"You do not need to worry about it, just keep trying to be the best Ranma-kun you can be."

"Well, as long as yer doin' th' same, okay?"

"But I do not make a very good Ranma-..."

"Are ya sure?"

"What?"

"Well, we ARE about th' same height..." Ranma cracked a grin, trying to lighten the mood.

"As if that was all it would take."

"It don't hurt, and yer light on yer feet too, with how quickly yer pickin' stuff up, I'd bet ya could do better than ya think."

"Do you now? You think that I could be as 'manly' as you?"

"Oh, well, I didn't mean it like that!"

"You are right, who could be that manly?" Giggling at his embarrassment, she rolled over backwards, having misjudged the angle of the hill.

"Oi! Ya okay, Kasumi-san?"

Still laughing, she tried to crawl to her feet. "What, no more 'Kasumi-chan'?"

"No, I didn't mean ...wait, I mean 'what?' Ya 'want' me ta call ya that?"

"I do not mind, if it is what you would like, but I mean, 'do you not want to play our little game any more'?"

"Not if yer in trouble I don't!"

"I am just fine. What do you say now...?"

"I guess, it ain't like I mind er nuthin'..." Ranma blushed again at the thought of pretending to be going out with such a 'Yamato nadeshiko'.

"Okay then." Giving Ranma a wink, Kasumi closed the gap between them. "Anata? Would you mind carrying me to our room?"

"Huh? Are ya hurt?"

"No..."

"Tired?"

"No..."

"Then why?"

"Do I need a reason?"

"Well, no."

"Is it a problem?"

"No."

"Then you will?"

Seeing her mood improve, Ranma could not deny her request and risk a reversal. As he lifted her into his arms, the way she shifted her weight in his hands, made it all too clear to him that she was still not wearing anything under her yukata...

"What is the matter, Ranma-kun? Your face is all red... Oh, look, is that a shooting star?"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Oh, what a meal!" Genma sat back, rubbing his belly with a toothpick in his mouth.

"Yes, excellent food indeed!" Soun looked over at this friend, happy to be in agreement.

Sitting upright, Genma turned toward the newest member of 'their' household. "So when are you going to get around to cleaning the dojo, I was thinking about working out today..."

"Then you can start your exercise, by cleaning the place yourself!"

"Oh, my back, whoops..." With that, he 'accidentally' knocked a glass of water onto himself. "Growlph!"

"Why are you even still here, Uncle Saotome? Ranma's gone, and isn't coming back ...ever! Why don't you go live with your own damn family?"

"Akane-chan!"

"No dad, this has to be said!"

"Akane-chan yelled at me! WAAAAHHHH!"

"Are you a guest who LEAVES, do you want to help Mousse around the house, or are you just a pet who eats nothing but bamboo and gets sold to a zoo because it is not legal for a private citizen to own a panda?" Akane was glad she had asked Nabiki about that, to keep as a back-up threat.

She was surprised to see the panda pick up a broom and start sweeping, but wondered how long that would last...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi felt a bit bad about it, but somewhere along the line, she had decided to take this trip to indulge every guilty pleasure she could manage, and that included occasionally allowing Ranma to pamper her. There was just nothing to compare to the feeling of being held in his arms as they leaped through the air! She was still not sure if she wanted to learn how to do it herself, or if it would be better to keep depending upon him, the little voices continued to argue. Did she want to risk breaking her legs, or stay safe in Ranma's powerful arms...? Did she want to remain dependent on another, or did she want to be able to soar under her own abilities? In the end, neither of them came out on top, and her indecision remained intact. In the end, all she was able to do was kiss him on the cheek, and say, "Thank you, my love."

The ever-graceful Ranma almost stumbled as he tried to take a step toward their room, only to catch himself in the nick of time, but not without giving Kasumi a light scare. Glad that they had not been in the air, she decided it might be best to save most of her teasing for when they were safely on the ground. "Oh my, I am sorry Darling, are you all right?"

"Yeah, sorry, ya okay too?"

"Yes, thank you for caring. We should probably hurry though, I could use a bath after our 'fun' by the lake." She blushed a bit as she heard the employees of the ryokan murmuring about the romantic evening they must have spent on the hill. Luckily, her ears did not have to burn for long, as Ranma rushed them back to their room.

The moment Ranma set her down, Kasumi grabbed his hand, and pulled him toward the changing room. "Come, we cannot miss out on the private, outdoor onsen while we are here! Hurry, we can wash each other's backs!"

"What, but, Kasumi ...-chan, why're ya doin' all a' this?"

"Because I am your 'wife', of course, you silly." The young woman giggled a bit at her own joke.

"No, I mean other 'an that, like fer real."

"Because I enjoy helping the people that I care about, and right now, one of the people I care about the most, needs the most help."

"Who? Why're we sittin' here if-..."

"It is you. You are the person I want to help, that is why we are doing this."

"Me, here, what's this gotta do with my problems? This spring gonna cure my curse, er somethin'?"

"No, we are here to help you with a different problem."

"Huh? What's that?"

"Your 'fear' of being with women."

"Hey, I ain't afraid a' no ...girls!"

"It does not appear that way to me."

"I'm Ranma Saotome, and I ain't afraid a' nuthin'!"

"What about a cute little kitten?"

"Well, obviously them, but that don't count, it ain't my fault!"

"Our fears are not our fault. While I am not saying it is as bad as that, you DO seem to be very uncomfortable around women, is there anything you would like to talk about?"

"No. I just don't get ya."

"Me?"

"Nah, women in general."

"What do you not understand? If anyone could understand, it should be you."

"Why? 'Cause a' my curse? That don't mean nuthin', I still don't get girls, 'inside'. If ya put on a suit, do ya suddenly know business, er if ya put on a doctor uniform, that mean ya ready ta do surgery? No, yer just someone in a costume!"

"Oh my... I never thought of it that way."

"I heard some a' th' curses mess with yer mind too, but this ain't one a' 'em. Ta be honest, when I heard about some a' them, I was almost relieved I got this one. ...I mean like, 'th' spring a' drowned good Samaritan' sounds like it ain't so bad, 'til ya realize ya just gave away yer family's food money fer th' month 'cause some jerk parked illegally an' didn't feel like payin' their fine, er ya lost yer job 'cause ya spent th' day helpin' some kid find homes fer some puppies, wake up in jail, 'cause ya 'helped' some criminals escape because they asked ya nicely. That guide told us some crazy stories a' some a' th' other visitors ...it could a' been a 'lot' worse."

"See, your luck is not so bad, you just have to look on the bright side, and realize that none of us think any less of you because of it."

"I ain't so sure a' that, some people certainly do not think a' me th' same way." From the way his father's attitude suddenly changed the moment he got his curse, to even the way Ukyo had been reacting to him lately, which he found odd considering how much fun she had changing him back and forth when she first learned of his curse, people almost always reacted to him differently depending on which body he was 'wearing'.

"You mean Akane-chan?"

"That's one, sure. 'Ya wanna be friends?' ...Yeah right! So much fer 'friends' when it turned out I was a guy, huh?"

"Is that not the opposite problem though?"

"With Akane, yeah, but it's always different, dependin' on who it is."

"I do not, I believe you are the same wonderful person, no matter what gender you are. I happen to know that Shampoo also feels the same way, and we are not the only ones."

"Thanks? But I mean, what a' th' other ones that know about th' curse, an' let it change their view a' me? Ya know, like Pops, th' guys at school, even th' old pervert wasn't willin' ta train me before learnin' I was a guy."

"It seems to me that Grandfather Happosai prefers you as a girl now though..."

"That's different! That's just fer grabbin' me an' stuff!"

"At least they appreciate you, nobody even thinks of me unless there is something to be cleaned or someone is hungry."

"Ya gotta be kiddin'! Wait, what are ya sayin' ya want that guy ta be grabbin' ya?"

"No, of course not, but it would be nice for someone to think that I was cute enough to occasionally. I guess a homely girl like me should not expect anyone to think such things."

"I told ya before, yer probably th' prettiest girl I know!"

"And I told you, I do not like it when you lie to me."

"I AIN'T! I ...couldn't, never!"

"How can you say that, when you know women like Hinako-sensei and Shampoo-chan?"

Ranma's outburst had worn off, and his embarrassment returned with a vengeance. "Well, I didn't say they were ugly er nuthin', yer all cute an' stuff... Even Akane could be ...sometimes. But, they are just so..."

Kasumi waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts, not wanting to interrupt.

"Ya got somethin' they ain't got, it's th's same thing I think that keeps ya safe from jerks like Happosai most a th' time."

Her hands instinctively roamed all of the places in which she thought she was 'lacking' around her body. "Whatever could you mean? I am very plain by comparison."

"I know it's hard ta see yer own aura, but from where I'm sittin', ain't no one as pretty, an' even th' people who can't see auras, can FEEL it. Gettin' close ta ya fer a demon like Happosai's gotta be like gettin' near a goddess! Yer aura might even burn th' old fart."

"Oh my... I do not want to hurt anyone."

"Ya ain't gotta worry about it, if that guy gets close enough ta get hurt, then it was deserved, 'cause somethin' bad was planned fer ya, that's fer sure!"

"Oh my, do you really think that Grandfather Happosai would do something ...bad?"

"To anyone other than you or children, absolutely, our fathers don't fear th' guy fer nuthin'."

"Well, I suppose Grandfather does have a bit of a childish streak..."

"Is that what ya call it?"

"It certainly seems that way to me, the temper-tantrums, the little pranks, thinking everything belongs to them, it is very much like a child. I have read that the older one gets, the more like a child we become, so perhaps Grandfather is back in the 'terrible twos'?"

"BWAHAhahaha... I guess I can see that. Someone needs ta give th' guy a good spankin', an' a time out!"

Kasumi sobered for a moment. "You may be correct."

"Believe me, I've tried, it ain't exactly easy."

"Well, that is a story for another time, but for now, we have a hot spring waiting for us!"

"Um, I think I'm just goin' ta bed..."

"Not yet you are not. You and Shampoo-chan helped me to remember how much fun I had bathing with others, you cannot back out now!"

"It wasn't me!"

"You were there, Shampoo-chan is your friend ...besides, we are role-playing here, you are my new bridegroom, and you should 'want' to be near me. Do you not like me ...Go-shu-jin-sa-ma?" She was having fun using any affectionate term for him that came to mind, as she did her best to bat her eyes at him.

"A' course I like ya!"

"You do?"

"It 'CAUSE I like ya, that this is hard..."

"Is it, really?" She could not help but to spare a glance between his legs.

Even with her reference going completely over his head, he still stammered over his words. "Yeah, this ain't easy fer me."

"Oh, oh my, you meant... I see. Then I will give you the choice."

"Oh?" His hope soared. 'Leave it to Kasumi to be reasonable!'

"Do you want me to wash your back first, or do you like to wash mine?"

"I-, I-, I-..."

"You...?"

"I-, I-..."

"You said that already, what do 'you' want to do? Come now, it cannot be that bad, it is not as if we have not done this before..."

"Yeah, but it's different now..."

"How?"

"Well, fer starters, we're alone out here, yer actin' kind a' funny, an' I don't know what's gonna happen next."

"Well, I am only playing because I thought we were having fun. We did not want them to think us strange for staying in a room together. Do we?"

"I know, that's kind a' what mom said too, but it's still weird."

"There is nothing to worry about, I will not do anything to hurt you."

Ranma scoffed at the idea. "It ain't like ya can."

"You should never tempt someone, even me." Kasumi stuck out her tongue, thinking about what she should do to teach the cocky young man a lesson.

"What? I don't wanna fight ya!"

"No, no, no, there are many ways in which we can be hurt, not all of them have to do with fighting."

"What'd ya mean?"

"Like insults."

"Yer wantin' ta insult me?"

"No, it was an example, like when someone questions your manliness, it can hurt you, and you can sometimes hurt others."

"Well, it ain't like I wanna hurt no body, but it's part a how Pops taught me ta fight, tauntin' throws yer opponent off, can create an openin', an' did it nonstop fer as long as I can remember, even before th' trainin' trip. I don't wanna do it, but when I get stressed, it's hard not ta, ya know? Old habits, an' all that."

"How about this, you said you did not understand women, so then while we are bathing, you can ask me any questions about women that confuse you, will that make you feel better?"

"I don't know, that's pretty embarrassing..."

"You do not have to worry, you can ask me anything, anything at all, all right?"

"But-..."

"Come on now, how are you going to understand anything if you do not ask questions?"

"I guess so, but I don't really know what ta ask..."

Finally getting his consent, Kasumi finished leading him into the changing room, where she began to remove her yukata, and placing it in the basket. "Come, come, hurry up, or did Goshujin-sama want little Kasumi's help?" She smiled over to him cutely, with half lidded eyes.

"No, I got it!" Still staring at the wall, Ranma undid his obi, worried about what might happen if he turned around.

"No need to wait, feel free to start your questions now."

Finally removing the yukata, Ranma folded it, and placed it in the basket. "So, what the deal?"

"What is the deal with what?"

"With, ya know ...girls."

"That is a little too general-..."

"Ya said I could ask anything!"

"Yes, but it needs to be something with an answer, that is just too vague. Which 'deal' do you mean? Are you talking about ...that time of the month?"

"No, Mom covered that pretty good, I guess, I mean I don't really get it exactly, somethin' ta do with makin' babies, but it ain't what's confusin' me."

"Then what is? Go on, I am not here to judge you." Understanding what Ranma had meant about it feeling different with just the two of them, Kasumi shyly covered herself a bit with her small towel as she walked up behind him. "I will always be here for you, no matter what you need."

"Even if what I need is space?"

"Oh my, I am sorry, I will be over 'here' then when you need me." Wanting to comfort the lad, she instead took a few steps back as he finished removing his clothing, unable to resist devouring him with her eyes while she waited. "What is this feeling?"

"What was that?" Ranma suddenly felt as if Shampoo were lurking around the corner, but he could not sense anyone else present. It was not the first time he had felt the eyes of someone upon him that day, but this time was in an entirely different league.

"I said that 'I will be over here if you need me'. Is that not far enough away?"

"Huh? No, I didn't really mean 'you', but thanks."

"Oh, you are-..." Ranma turned to face her, before grabbing his towel, causing her to lose her train of thought. "Um, ready then?"

"Guess so..." Ranma just stood there for a moment, waiting for Kasumi to take the lead, but she just stood there, eyes lowered, unable to meet his gaze. "Should I be doin' somethin', er somethin'?"

"What? Oh, oh, oh my, I-, no, I-, was just distracted for a moment. I am sorry. Please, come with me." Reaching down, she hesitantly took hold of a few fingers on his left hand before leading him toward the showers.

"Um, okay, just tell me what I am supposed ta do, I don't really wanna get hit right now."

"I am not going to hit you! You know that I would never-..."

"I didn't really say ya would, but ya ain't th' only person in th' world, an' it kind a' hurts sometimes, when I ain't expectin' it."

"I-... Why would you expect to be hit? We are only going to take a bath."

"That's one a' th' places I get hit th' most. ...Ya know, other than th' street, school, th' livin' room, an' th' kitchen..." Ranma ticked off each item on his fingers.

"But who do you think would attack you here?"

"I don't know, maybe Akane er Ryoga'll just show up, ya never know with that guy, er someone I ain't never heard a' before, er maybe one a' yer secret admirers er something..."

"But ...why?" Then she was distracted the question he brought to mind, 'who would secretly admire her'?

"Eh, who knows? Usually fer someone getting too close, er just being in th' wrong place at th' wrong time. I can't figure it out half a' th' time, that's why I'm askin', if I knew, I'd stop doin' it! Ya said I could ask anything, that's what I wanna know, 'why're girls, an' even guys sometimes, showin' up all th' time an' tryin' ta hit me?"

"I am not certain, that might not have one single answer. When was the last time it happened?"

"Well, it ain't happenin' as much since we moved in ta th' new house, in fact, I hardly get inta that many fights at all in this neighborhood, but I figured that was mostly 'cause I don't get out much, what with not goin' ta school an all any more."

"Oh my, do wish you would go back though, your education is important."

"Yeah, I guess I know, but I can't go back there right now, an' Hinako-sensei's makin' me do all kinds a' make-up work, so I guess I'm still doin' it, in a way."

"That is good, perhaps I will join you once you get passed the middle school work."

"But, it ain't always someone showin' up outa nowhere, it can be all kinds a' stuff."

"Like what?"

"Well, like say if Shampoo latches on ta me, Akane'd kick me inta th' next prefecture, even though I'm tryin' ta get away, er say when I try an' say somethin' nice ta one, an' get slapped silly."

"For saying something nice? What do you mean?" Kasumi could not believe that anyone would do that to someone!

"Why would girls hit someone fer callin' 'em 'cute'?"

"I do not think that many would."

"Far too many, from what I've seen. Wait, ya mean it ain't 'normal'?"

"Of course not! I don't know anyone who would do that!"

"Yeah, ya know lots a' 'em, trust me, yer livin' with at least one now, an' another bu'fore that."

"WHAT?" She had learned that Akane had abused her position as his fiancee on occasion, but she had not realized that others were involved as well!

"Let me ask you this, what would you do, if I said that you were cute?"

Kasumi blushed and turned away, covering her face. "You ...you think I am cute?"

"Well, yeah, ya know I do, but that ain't th' point."

"Oh my... Me?"

"Yeah, but again, this ain't about that, what would ya do if I said, 'Kasumi-chan, you are cute'?"

"Oh my, you said it again! You cannot really mean that..."

"A' course I do, I keep tellin' ya don't I?"

"Stop it..." Kasumi gently pushed his chest with one hand as she covered her face with the other.

"See, this is usually about th' time I start gettin' hit, if not sooner."

"Oh... I see..." It took Kasumi a moment to come back to her senses and realize that she was supposed to be helping figure out why this was happening to him. It seemed to her that some of her earlier hunches appeared to be proving to be correct. "Well, you need to realize that not all women are like that, in fact they are quite the minority."

"It don't seem like it ta me."

"I am sorry that you have had a bad string of luck in that regard, but know that it is not typical, and you do not need to allow it to happen. You do not deserve to be hit for such things, and I know that you are more than capable of avoiding it."

"Most a' th' time, but I gotta know it's comin'..."

"I thought you martial artists could sense an attack coming without seeing it."

"Exactly, we sense the battle aura of th' attacker, but someone who ain't givin' off any, don't trigger that defense. So if someone's suppressin' their aura, er they have a sudden mood shift, er I'm distracted, then I might not sense it comin' in time, but th' main thing's that it's just easier."

"What do you mean, 'easier'?"

"Well, with some people, that just makes it worse. Like with Akane, if I just take th' hit, then th' anger goes away, an' I ain't gotta listen ta it, er eat th' food, er nuthin' no more."

"Oh my, oh my, oh my." Kasumi collapsed to her knees, hiding her face again, this time in shame, rather than embarrassment. "I am sorry, oh so very sorry. I cannot believe that we put you though all of that, it seems that I keep finding out new things, each worse than the last. Even if you had done something wrong, there is just no excuse for that behavior, I tried to raise Akane better than that."

"It ain't yer fault, ya ain't th' one hittin' nobody."

"That does not matter, my family did you many great disservices, and I pushed-..."

"Hey, ya act like they were alone in this, it's as much my family's fault as anyone's. Ya ain't got nuthin' ta be sorry about. Let's just call it even, an' move on, okay?"

"But, I-..."

"No more buts, okay. I don't blame ya fer nuthin', an' I don't want ya blamin' yerself neither."

"It is just that-..."

"No!" Seeing Kasumi hop back, his eyes went wide before he calmed himself. "I'm sorry I yelled, but if ya wanna help me, then stop feelin' guilty, that just makes me feel worse. Seein' ya hurtin' 'cause a' me tears me up inside! More 'en anyone else I ever met, ya deserve ta be happy."

"But so do you! You deserve to be happy as well! I know it might not seem like it at times, but there will always be people out there who will love you, and want you to be happy! I am sorry my sister hurt you, you did not deserve that, but not everyone is like that..."

"It ain't just Akane, it's 'bout everyone in my life!"

As Kasumi jumped forward, taking him into a comforting embrace, she felt him tense his muscles again. "But not 'everyone'. Now just relax, it won't help anything if we get overexcited. Let me help you, just sit over here and try to feel at ease, okay?"

"...Okay." Ranma allowed himself to be led over and sat himself on the short stool.

He felt a twinge of panic as Kasumi untied his braid, before remembering that he no longer needed to worry about the dragon's whisker. That had been great weight off of his shoulders to finally have that problem resolved, even if he had not yet fully grown accustomed to not having to worry about it any longer. This made him realize that not all of his problems were permanent and perhaps Kasumi was correct, maybe he could be allowed to be happy at some point, even if he did feel like the universe's plaything upon occasion.

As she used her fingers to comb out his braid, he felt shivers down his spine, and barely even noticed the cool water changing him as it poured down his body. He could not deny how good her fingers felt as they massaged the shampoo into his scalp, nor how nice it was to hear her humming in his ear as she worked. Feeling his earlier tension leaving him, Ranma yawned, finally starting to unwind.

Kasumi was happy that her work was having the desired effect, but did not wish to put him out any further. Instead of making him wash her when she was finished, she thought it would be better, albeit a bit embarrassing, to put one of his mother's teachings to use, and kill two birds with one stone. Once she had rinsed the soap from Ranma's long, red hair, she tried to remember how Nodoka had explained it to her.

Noticing that nothing had happened for a moment, Ranma wondered if he was supposed to be doing something... "Hey, ya done? Should I-..."

"Oh no, just stay still, and keep your eyes closed please."

"What? Why?"

"No real reason, just do it for me, please?"

"Um, okay, if ya say so..."

"Your eyes are closed, right?"

"Yeah."

"Promise me that you will not open them until we are done, okay?"

"Okay, sure, but what-..."

"No need to worry, this will not hurt a bit."

Her words proved to be more true than he had anticipated, as he felt the softest, most gentle things press against his back before sliding around, lathering up his skin. Before long her arms were wrapped around him, lightly caressing his chest, and as her body pressed against him from behind, he suddenly realized what had first been touching him. "Ka- Ka- Kasumi-chan! Wha- What're ya do- do- doin' back there?"

"We are just ...getting clean."

"Then, why's it feel so dirty?"

"Oh, oh, no, my goodness, it guess that means we need to wash you 'extra' well then, yes? Do you think?"

"If ya say so..." Ranma's cursed body was starting to feel funny, and had to do everything he could to block out the feelings and images that were flashing through his mind, and he tried to focus on mentally going through various kata, otherwise he was afraid of what might happen. His body had been behaving strangely for some time now, and this was one of the more extreme examples.

Kasumi was even more embarrassed by her actions than she had even expected, yet she could not refute the fact that it felt incredibly satisfying. Before she was done, she had gotten him to lay on the floor, while she made certain that they had 'washed' every centimeter of their bodies. A voice in the back of her mind kept telling her she only needed a bit of warm water to make this more fun, but she knew they would be soaking soon anyway.

She had only hesitated a moment before warning him that she was going to rinse of the soap, waiting for the convulsions in her muscles to stop before she could grab the shower nozzle. "There you are my love, all clean."

"Ya gonna keep that up, even when we're alone?"

"It when we are alone that it means the most, yes?"

"Is that how it works?"

"Yes, it is. We are not just doing this to play a game, or pretending for the benefit of those helping us on this trip, this is also for your training, you need to get used to romantic situations. We did not get to go to see a movie, but is this not better?"

"Why? I don't get it at all."

"Do you not want to have closer relationships with girls like Shampoo-chan?"

"I don't know, it ain't like I'm against it er nuthin', an' yer okay, but most girls 're just too confusin', I always feel like I'm walkin' on hot coals er broken glass, ya know?"

She felt bad about how he perceived his relationships, but there was one element that surprised her. "Oh my... So, you do not find me 'confusing' like the others?"

"I didn't exactly say that, but ya make a lot more sense ta me than most. Ya say what ya mean, most a' th' time, an' ya don't go freakin' out on me when I don't get what ya meanright away, ya treat me more like a person, not as a toy ...usually."

"I am sorry, has my teasing been too much for you? I did not mean to-..."

"Naw, yer fine, I know it's fer trainin' so its okay, ya ain't doin' 'cause ya wanna, er nuthin'. Mom probably put ya up ta it, huh?"

"Maybe a little ...but you are the one who started this game, back on the train, when you called me 'Kasumi-chan'. Do you not remember?"

"Oh. I'm sorry, it was just 'cause a' what that attendant said. I ain't wantin' ta offend ya er nuthin'."

"Oh no, it doesn't bother me, I have never had this much fun in my entire life, and it is all thanks to Dana-sama!"

"Who's that?"

"You, my 'silly husband'." She wrapped her arms around him, her breasts pressing against either side of the short red-head's face.

More than a bit embarrassed by his position, Ranma wanted to push away, but could not reach any place he was not afraid to touch, worried about offending the beautiful woman holding him. "More like yer little sister like this..."

"That is okay, the hot water is just outside. Why not go ahead, I will catch up with you in a moment, okay darling?" Kasumi grinned as she continued to try out the various 'pet names' she had always seen the women in her stories get to use.

Not wasting a moment, Ranma ran for the semi-natural onsen, changing back to his original form in an instant. Kasumi just stood there and watched, appreciating the fluidity and grace the nude young man showed as he dove into the shallow pool.

In spite of their long talk after, or perhaps because of it, the sensations of rubbing against Ranma's body would not leave her, and she felt the now familiar desire to feel the pleasant sensations to which Nodoka had introduced her. With long practiced fingers, she flipped a switch, turning up the vibrations on one of her toys, glad that it was waterproof. As the light tremors started to shoot throughout her body, she carefully made her way to join Ranma in the bath.

"Anata, please do not move away from me..."

"Oh, um, was I doin' that?"

"Yes Darling, you were, and just when I thought we were getting along so well."

"But, we do, we are, ain't we? Did I miss something?"

"Why did you scoot away when I got in?"

"I wanted ta give ya yer space..."

"I told you already, you do not have to worry about that on this trip. I do not want my ...'space', or rather, I want you to be within it."

"What?"

"I know you also hugged Sensei this morning, but you still owe us one more today..."

"Oh, uh, yeah, Kasumi...-chan, I'm ...um, gettin' tired, can we just not-..."

"It does not take any energy, we can do it right here while we soak and enjoy this hot spring."

"Yeah, but, huggin' ya in th' bath seems like a bit much, don't ya think?"

"That is exactly why I am suggesting it. 'You need to learn to push your boundaries if you want to progress', a very wise woman taught me that. Do you know who it was?"

"Yer mom?"

"Not quite." She thought she was a bit too young for those lessons when her own mother was still with her. "...It was yours."

"Well, it does sound like somethin' Pops'd say about th' art, so I guess it makes sense... Maybe they got more in common than I thought."

Taking that for acquiescence, Kasumi closed the gap between them and climbed into his lap. "Mmmm, Anata." Sliding her arms around his neck, she snuggled up to him.

"Ka-! Ka-! Kasumi-chan! What're ya doin'?"

"We talked about this, did we not? Only this time you will hold me, instead of the other way around. You do wish to push your boundaries, yes? Remember, this is training."

"Um, yeah, right." Ranma tried to calm himself, attempting a meditative state in order to ignore the feeling of the soft skin sliding smoothly against his body. No matter how deeply he dove for his center, the nagging feeling that something bad was about to happen would not leave him.

From Kasumi's perspective, he seemed to be relaxing nicely, even going as far as to wrap his arms around her as she rested her head upon his shoulder. It was very nice, the warmth of the onsen and the feeling of comfort from being protected, combined with the vibrations emanating from below, lead to a very relaxing time for the young woman. After a moment, she wondered if perhaps she might be doing some of the things she had for her own benefit, but quickly dismissed the idea as preposterous. Of course she only wanted to help her friend! How could anyone think otherwise? It just felt good to help others!

Ranma found it odd that while she was holding him, he occasionally got similar vibes from Kasumi to what he felt from Shampoo, he was not certain if it was due to how much time the two spent together lately or if Kasumi was just that good of an actor... The only thing he knew with any certainty was that there was no way she had fallen for him, that could not have been true, it would have been impossible! Thinking about that he felt relief, the last thing he wanted was to get a nice person like Kasumi further mixed up in his chaotic life, he already caused her enough problems, just look how much she had been made to do lately! He did not get why anyone would go that far to help him, especially someone so sweet and pure! It was then that he realized exactly how much his mother had to have pushed to get her to do this with him... "I'm really sorry about this."

"For what?"

"Fer gettin' ya caught up in my crazy life, an' everythin' that went along with it, fer Mom makin' ya do 'this', fer, fer ...fer bein such an idiot!"

"You are NOT an idiot! Your 'mother' is NOT why I am doing this! The only thing I regret about you being in my life was that I was unable to help you sooner! ...And most of all, I want you to know that I would not be here, or doing this, if I did not wish to be."

"But, ya tried ta give th' ticket ta Shampoo, and Mom wouldn't let ya, they made ya come..."

"No, you did..." Kasumi still quivered as she thought about their recent time together.

"See! That's even worse, but, wait, how did I...?"

"NO! I mean I came because I enjoy being with you, I 'could' have refused you know? People CAN say 'no' to Nodoka Saotome, but I decided this could be a good time for us."

"Huh? What'd ya mean?"

"I mean, that I thought that you would be able to relax more if it were just the two of us. It seems as if every time we start to make some progress, someone would interrupt us and upset you. My hope was that without intrusion, you could finally see that good things can happen to you. You are allowed to be happy!" She leaned in a bit closer and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Do you not see that-...?"

The sound of the sliding door opened, luckily they could not see from where they were, but a woman's voice cut through the crisp evening air. "You did not come down for dinner, is everything all right in here?"

"Oh my! ...Yes, I am terribly sorry we lost track of time, we are perfectly fine, thank you!"

"Oh, that is wonderful to hear." Within a moment, the okami was poking her head around the wall. "Oh do not mind me. We were simply concerned when we did not see you after the ceremony."

Ranma quickly covered Kasumi's breasts with his hands, for which she was grateful, clamping her own hands over his so that they would not move once he realized what he was doing. "Is losin' people after it common?"

"Oh no, but there was that one couple who got a bit too excited 'playing' on the hill, and rolled into the lake... With how entangled in their yukata they became, they were lucky not to have drowned, but you two are certainly doing it the right way! ...Just do not make me clean too many fluids out of the onsen." The older woman chuckled to herself as she thought about what they had to have been doing before she arrived. "If you are not done with your 'bath', we would be honored to serve the lovely couple in here. The young master needs plenty of energy for the rest of the evening after all, am I right?" She winked at the glowing Kasumi, who instinctively blushed further in response.

Kasumi would have preferred to wait, not wanting to be around other people at that moment, however her own desires were shattered when she glanced back and saw the hopeful expression on Ranma's face. 'One person's desires are another's disappointment.' He had just looked so excited, she could not deny him, though she did get an idea that she thought might be fun. "Would you mind terribly leaving it? I wish to feed my adoring husband ...if that would be all right with you."

"Of course! We are more than delighted to oblige!" The skilled woman quickly set up a small table next to where they were sitting, steeling glances as she set up the table, hoping to catch a glimpse of where she assumed they were connected. "Here is your meal, another bottle of sake, and a little something the chefs cooked up for your dessert. We hope that you all enjoy everything, is there anything at all that we can get for you for now?"

"Oh no, I- ...mean, this is more than enough, thank you very much." Turning her head, she saw Ranma's expression fall slightly, and realized what he wanted. "Oh, I am terribly sorry, but could we get several more portions, if there is anything left? My vigorous husband has a rather 'substantial' appetite..."

"Are you certain, that is enough for a small family..."

"Oh yes, my darling can easily eat several times this just as an appetizer."

"Amazing! How do you stay so thin?"

"We lead a very 'active' life."

"Oh, I see! Yes, yes, you should get all the nutrients you can get then, a young couple like yourselves. I will go see what we have left for you."

"Thank you again, we really appreciate it."

"Oh my no, it is no trouble at all! And might I wish you good luck with all of your children!"

"But we ain't got-..."

"Maybe not yet, but at that rate, it will not be long!" With a grin, the woman excused herself with a bow.

"What's that supposed ta mean?"

"Do not worry, that will be one of your next lessons when we get back, it is what your classes are all about."

"Ya mean we're gonna have kids? An' I thought Pops was pushy, can't nobody ever ask me first about nuthin'?"

"No, wait, that is not what I mean! Oh my... I-... No, the classes are not to give you a child, but to teach you about the art of making them, yes, that is it!"

"Oh, so it IS an art!" Ranma remembered the grappling lessons Hinako had promised him, still hoping they would be effective. "Do ya know any moves?"

Kasumi blushed, not only due to the topic, but also her limited knowledge. "Not too many, though our cuddling is one of the very basic 'moves', and you demonstrated several VERY advanced ones the other night... Ooooo..." The memory of which, combined with her very pleasant 'friend', caused her to climax again, the light convulsions almost causing her to drop the first bite she was trying to offer Ranma.

As he accepted the small morsel into his mouth, she felt far more joy than she would have expected, particularly in light of the fact that she had not even been able to make this food. However, the delight he showed in devouring it, and the fact that he did not resist her feeding him, made her feel on top of the world. Perhaps he was getting used to her after all...

"Here how about we try this?" Picking up one of the tempura shrimp, she placed the tail end into her mouth an leaned closer to him. "Let's both eat."

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"Ukyo-sama, are you still here?"

"Yeah, Konatsu."

"How unusual, is something the matter?"

"Ya kin say that again!"

"How unusual, is something the matter?"

"Ranchan ain't comin' home tahnight, so Ah ain't no reason ta go!"

"I am sorry to hear that Master. I will finish cleaning if you want to go to the public baths."

"Not yet, Ah got stuff ta do first..."

Konatsu watched Ukyo ascend the stairs with a mix of emotions, sad that she was not having good luck in her endeavors, yet happy to have her staying in the store for the night. "Just let me know if there is anything I can do for you, call me and I will be there for you in a moment."

"Yeah, yeah..." Ukyo waved as she topped the stairs, entering her room before giving a look of death toward the luck charms on her shelf. "YA! YA LIED TA MEH! Ah was supposed ta be th' one on that trip! Why didn't Ah win?"

She wanted to smash every last one of the little dolls, but before she had grabbed one of them, she remembered that none of them had been for the contest, but rather her wish at the shrine. "Why da th' kami hate meh so? Didn't Ah give enough? Ah jus' wanted that, bitch ..ta ...lose. ...AW DAMNIT!"

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Hearing the shouting, Konatsu ran up the stairs and threw open the door to Ukyo's room only to see a room full of feathers and her crying into an empty pillow. "Ukyo-sama!"

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After finishing their meal, Kasumi had managed to convince Ranma to stay with her for a bit longer, but it was not to last.

"Is it okay if we stop fer th' night?"

"Tired of me already, are you?"

"It ain't that, it's just gettin' late, an' I still wanna get up in th' mornin' an' work out before we go out tomorrow."

"'Go out'? Oh, how considerate of you, I do hope you will take another bath before our ...'date'."

"Well, a' course. Who wouldn't wanna soak in a hot spring after a work-out?"

Ranma's relaxed smile helped her feel better about letting him leave her. "Good, then if I am not able to join you, I will be ready to wash your back again, Anata!"

"Um, ya ain't gotta do that, ya know."

"I know, but I 'want' to do it. It is not a problem, is it? Or do you not want an old woman like me touching you so much?"

"It ain't like that, it's just ...I don't know, weird ta have someone washin' my back, ya know?"

"No, I am afraid I do not know, I rather enjoy it myself, as long as it is a person I trust who is doing the washing. Are you saying that you do not trust me?"

"NO! I trust ya more 'an just about anyone! It's just, I ain't really had a lot a good luck with girls an' baths, an' stuff..."

"What do you mean? Other than the girls playing, I do not remember anything overly bad..."

"Like when I first gotta yer place with Akane, an' when Shampoo got back after gettin' cursed, an' when Happosai showed up, an'..."

"I see, but we had a nice bath today, did we not?"

"Mostly, I guess, but we still got bothered."

"True, but was it a problem to have them bring you food?"

"Well, I guess not, but it's embarrassin' ta have people walk in on ya in th' bath."

"I cannot really argue with you on that, but it does depend on who it is, and what they want."

"I guess..."

"I never would have expected you to be shy in a public bath, did you not used to bathe in rivers at times?"

"Yeah, but back then, it was only Pops, th' occasional cop, mad father, wild animal, er idiot thief that would sneak up on me, an' bein' out in th' wild, it's easier to notice stuff like that, but crazy people bustin' in when I ain't ready ta attack me when my guard is down is a bit harder ta defend against, an' hard ta really relax an' enjoy it. Is it so wrong ta want a day ta just really relax?"

"Not at all, that is why we are here!"

"But I can't let my guard down fer a second, ya never know what's gonna happen, er who's gonna attack. Even here, I have felt people watchin' us sometimes, and a few a' 'em ain't been nice."

"Is that not being a little bit paranoid?"

"Maybe, but it ain't like I don't get jumped at all hours, no matter what's happenin'."

"Oh my... Is that true?"

"Yeah, ain't no where really 'safe', not th' bath, not th' school, not even sleepin'. Heck, yer about th' only person who ain't tried ta attack me at some random time."

"I could if you wanted me to." She winked at him, blushing at her bold humor.

"What? No! Why?"

"I was only teasing you! However, while I am terribly sorry to hear that, I do not believe that you answered my question. Does that mean that you will not allow me to wash you in the morning?"

Unable to resist her expression, and eager to sleep, the young man relented. "I guess it ain't so bad..."

"Thank you, it means a lot to me that you are allowing me this indulgence."

"Ain't like I could ever refuse ya nuthin'."

"Aw, that is sweet, thank you."

"Well, ya know..." Ranma managed to rub the back of his neck, as he struggled to look away from the naked woman writhing in his lap.

Kasumi giggled lightly at his reaction, she could not help but to think about what a nice boy he had turned out to be. "You go on ahead, I will join you momentarily, okay Dearest?" As she stood up, she pulled on his hand, helping him stand before pulling him into her arms for a quick hug.

"Huh? Sure, thanks Kasumi-chan, g'night!"

"Good night and pleasant dreams, Anata. I hope that you sleep soundly." Kasumi was glad that he appeared to be using her name more comfortably now, she was liking the sound of it and a part of her almost hoped that he did not stop once the trip ended, though she did not have high expectations of that happening. She followed him with her gaze as he hopped out of the pool, unable to tear her eyes away as he dried himself. There was something about the way the moonlight was reflecting off of his chiseled body, that made her jaw drop, and as he turned to enter the building, the muscles in his derriere danced before her eyes, causing her to babble incoherently to herself for a moment. The boy might have been shy in a number of ways, but she would be eternally grateful that there were some things about which he most certainly was not! ...Especially when he did not think anyone was paying attention.

It had taken several moments before she recovered her senses, and had to take a bit of time to practice some of the 'finger exercises' Nodoka had shown her. The waves of relief were almost upon her when she heard Ranma's voice from the other room. "Kasumi-chan, do you know where my boxers are?"

"Since we were wearing yukata, the staff offered to wash them for us, they should be ready in the morning."

"Oh, okay, but what am I gonna sleep in?"

"I do not suppose you really need anything..."

"What was that?"

"Oh my, I suppose you could try a towel?"

"Well, I guess so... At least th' other's ain't here ta see this..."

Kasumi smiled to herself, thinking that would make what she had to do much easier. She was already nervous about her 'assignment', and simply finishing the first bottle of sake had not helped that much. Even once she assumed that Ranma was fast asleep, she could not muster enough courage to join him, and was anxiously cleaning the shower room when she spotted the second bottle of booze they had been given. "Oh my, I suppose it could not hurt..."

Pouring herself another cup, she stared into it, wondering if she really wanted to do what she was considering before tossing it back. As she refilled it again, she tried to distract herself. "What would father do? Ah yes, poetry!" She tried to remember one she had heard him use. "The sky at sunset, a cup of sake, would taste so good!" With that she proudly drank again.

"It is better than I would have expected ...warm, though not as sweet as the other one."

"To friends and family, those who could not be with us, we drink this for them!"

"Ahhhh! Oh my, this ish fun..."

"Looking up at night, a beautiful sky sho clear, lovely in my sight." Taking her next shot, she wished Ranma had stayed up with her for this.

"If Ranma shtayed here, we could both drink together, and play shome more games."

"Ooooooo my... I feel ...haaappy! Oh-, oh-, only one more..."

"Finishing th' sake, it ish time for me to go, I musht do that thing."

After the last drops of the clear liquid fell into her mouth and rolled down the back of her throat, she placed the cup and bottle with the other dishes, wishing she had a way to wash them. Not wanting to have anyone walk in on them again, she took the tray of dishes and placed them outside of the door before she stood at the foot of the bed, and stared down at Ranma's sleeping form with a sigh.

Despite her inebriation, she still had plenty of misgivings about what she was intending to do. Chibi-Shampoo had spent what seemed like hours arguing with Chibi-Akane about whether she ought to do this, or if it was 'too perverted'... In the end, she decided that it did fit in with what Nodoka had been teaching her, as well as their little game, and she DID so like 'helping'... "Well, I promished Shampoo-shan that I would try and do my besht, and sho I guessh I can't back out now!"

After stumbling slightly, Kasumi managed to make her way into the main room where they had laid out the small futon. As she gazed down at the young man who laid sprawled out on the raised mattress, barely covered by the small towel, she could not help but to continue to admire his physique for a moment longer before her eyes lingered upon the bulge under the towel. "Ara?"

Kasumi slowly lowered herself to her knees, her gaze remaining locked, and her breath grew raspy as she thought back on the day. From teasing him on the train, all the way until they cuddled in the bath without an inkling of any response. "Oh poor Ranma-kyun, thish musht have been sho hard on you, even if it wazh an old woman like me who wazh fawning over you all day. Mother shaish young men need to do theshe thingsh sheveral timesh a day, but do you even know how? You, *hic*, poor little thing!"

Pulling the towel away, she paused again, the idea of what she was about to do, finally becoming real in her mind. "Oh, I am shorry, Ranma-kyun, I mean you poor BIG thing!" While they had bathed together almost every day for months now, she rarely ever looked at him, and never this closely before, but given the situation, she could not help but to stare. From her perspective, it almost seemed to move under her gaze, much like a living thing. "It ish almosht ash big ash shum of Mother'sh toysh!"

For several moments, she just sat there, eyes unblinking, and her hand partially extended, not quite willing to make contact.

"Oh my, oh my, oh my..." The first time she did, it moved at her touch and she jumped back, afraid of waking him and being seen in that situation.

She slowly crept forward, her face got to within centimeters, close enough for her breath to be blowing through his short hairs. "Oh, it shmellsh funny, even after a bath. Do we need to make shertain you wash better, Ranma-kyun?" She got a little closer, as she allowed herself to grow accustomed to the scent. "It'sh not bad though ...in fact, it'sh kind of ...nishe. Like I should ...'clean' it."

As she finally grew bold enough to touch him, she was surprised to note how thin the skin was in that area. Every time she touched him, it would move, sometimes parts of him would shrink away from her touch, and others seemed emboldened by it. "What did Shampoo shay to do firsht? Oh yesh, I remember."

Gently, lifting his girth, she was a bit surprised by how warm it felt in her hand. Using both of her hands, she softly stroked his soft skin. "Turtle-shan, come out, come out, and show ush your head..." Doing as she was told, she lightly kissed the tip. "Oh! It worked! That ish shome powerful magic!" Her grip became more firm as it grew, trying to get away from her. "Oh no, you naughty boy, come to Kashumi-chan, you cannot get away from little ol' me!"

Every time she kissed him, it would get more sizable, and she was starting to wonder when it would stop. "It getsh even larger? Oh my! It was big enough before, I did not know they got THAT immenshe, I thought mother'sh toysh were exaggerated, but they do not do the real thing justice! I can't imagine that fitting, but I guesh Shampoo knowsh well enough..."

"Oh, it ish pulshing in my hand! It is shlower than one of Mother's toysh, but it feelsh very niiish ...and sho 'very' warm! I want-... NO! I only need to do thish to help..."

"It looksh sho much nisher now, but it ish sho shwolen! Thish musht be painful for you, Ranma-kyun, I will try to give you relief quickly... Let me shee, nexsht I am shupposhed to lick it ...oh my! I-... No, Kashumi-tan, you promished!"

As she felt his heartbeat in her hand, she felt much more closely connected to the young man, and could not help but to take her kisses one step further, taking him into her mouth. "Itadakimasu! ...Mmmmmmmm, yummy." 'It tashtesh sho ...naughty!'

So engrossed in what she was doing was she, that she was moving purely on instinct, no longer even trying to remember Shampoo's instructions, and at some point her free hand had moved from massaging his loins to her own. Her moans vibrating through him, and causing him to twitch in her mouth. This brought about a light change in his taste to her, the light bitterness caught her off guard, but she did not find it unpleasant, nor did she let it deter her.

'How long doesh thish take? Ish thish becauze Shampoo-chan doez thish every night?' As things got more slippery, she remembered a tip she had been given for when her jaw got tired, and she repositioned herself so that she could wrap her breasts around his member. "Let'sh try thish inshted, ne?"

She supposed she should not have been surprised that someone as healthy as Ranma would have impressive endurance, not that she had really any idea what would be considered a 'normal' amount of time for this task. She had never even seen anyone do it before the other day, and not only did Shampoo not get much of a reaction from him, she had been far too out of it to really pay any attention. She had, on the other hand, heard many stories that young men his age generally only lasted several minutes, which she believed some had found disappointing.

While she did enjoy watching his reactions, she was starting to wonder if it was ever going to end, almost wishing that he had been more 'typical'. She had to wonder how Shampoo did this every night, but came to the conclusion that it might explain why she slept in so late each morning, and here she just thought it was simply because she was not working in their cafe any longer. Perhaps she owed the poor girl an apology, although first she had a job to finish.

With renewed vigor, the young woman doubled her efforts and turned the switch on her own toy to 'high'. Her gasp, and subsequent moans sent shivers throughout his body, and he started to tense his muscles. As she looked up to his face, she had a feeling that something was about to happen.

Somehow she was able to sense a tingling from his body that felt was different from the one coming from within her own, and before she knew it, he grew even harder and started to twitch. The last thing she wanted to do was to make a mess, and so she did not allow herself to spill a drop.

As she licked her lips, she could not prevent her eyes from caressing his still trembling form. "Mmmmm, perhapsh younger men might be to my 'tashte' after all... That wash woooonderfuuuul..." Her hand still vigorously working away, she noticed that his 'swelling' had not yet subsided, nor had the goofy smile on his lips. "Oh? Maybe I can do it again!"

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Day one in Hakone is over, and after a quick nap, we will return! Cum back next time for, 'The Late Night Emissions Test', or 'Honeymoon Hijinks'.


	36. Chapter 36

This story will make you smile, we guarantee it!

Disclaimer: This smile guarantee applies to typically pleasant individuals. If you are a major grouch that doesn't smile at kitties, puppies, squirrels, or double rainbows, then even we can't help you.

Chapter 36 - Scratching the Nut Sack

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Ranma awoke to find Kasumi snuggling on top of him, and it only took a few more moments before he realized that they were also both naked. He was finding it difficult to extricate himself from the situation, due in no small part to one of her hands firmly wrapped around his manhood, and the other curled around his arm. Looking down at her peacefully sleeping face resting on his chest, the last thing he wanted to do was to disturb her, and knowing Kasumi, she would likely be awake soon anyway. At least he hoped so, ever since they had moved into that new house, his morning call to nature was always far stronger than it had always been before, and he was not certain how long he could wait, nor was he sure if it was a good thing she was holding him that tightly or not.

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"Mmmmmmmorning, A-na-ta." Kasumi was a bit surprised to see that Ranma was still in bed with her, he was generally so quick to extract himself from their usual sleeping arrangements, before even she woke each morning. She hoped it was because he was enjoying himself as much as she was, would that not be nice?

"Oh, hey, yer finally up, mornin'. Ya feelin' okay?"

"I could not possibly feel any better, and it is all thanks to you." Though she did have an interesting aftertaste in her mouth.

"Me? What'd I do?"

"Many things. Where do you believe I would be right now if you had not come into our lives?"

"I don't know, anywhere ya wanted ta be I guess..."

"No, I think we both know that is not true. I would still be doing the almost same thing I have been doing every day for the last eight years. Before you arrived, there was hardly any variation, my life was stable and predictable."

"I'm sorry. I didn't want ya ta get caught up in my problems-..."

The desperate look on his face told her that he really felt strongly about it, and her heart went out to him. "It is all right, I want to help you with your troubles..."

"Well, there's one issue ya could help me with right now."

"Anything! What can I do for you?" Kasumi was excited to not only be needed by him, but he was willing to ask her for help!

"Could ya get off a' me?"

"Oh my! I am sorry, I did not realize..." Before she realized what she was grabbing, the moment she loosened her grip, he shot out from under her.

"Oh no!" Quickly throwing on his yukata, Ranma ran down the hallway, in search of the restroom, hoping that he did not drip on the way.

Kasumi could only lay there in shock, not entirely certain as to what had happened. "Did I do something wrong?"

She lay there for several moments enjoying the warmth and the odor left behind by the fleeing Ranma as her dreams faded and her memories started to filter in through the morning mist of her mind. She was far groggier than usual, she felt somewhat dehydrated, and she had a bit of an unusual cottony taste in her mouth, though she could not say that it was 'entirely' unpleasant. As she thought about the flavor, trying to pin it down, flashes of the prior evening began to flash though her mind. She remembered drinking the sake, and how warm it made her feel as she held Ranma's pillow close to her, still enjoying his lingering body heat and scent. Though she had to blush as the vague recollections of what she had done after drinking stirred inside her brain, and ...other places. Her hand started to move on its own, only stopping as she heard a familiar voice from the hallway.

"Oh! Good morning, Young Master, you are already awake!"

"Huh? Oh yeah, I've been up fer hours, just now got away. Usually, I'm already workin' out by now though."

'Hours?' Kasumi could not believe he had waited there so long for her to wake up before getting up himself. The thought of which made her feel warm and fuzzy inside.

"Oh ho ho ho! Good work young sir! I just knew the two of you were perfectly matched! You make sure you treat that wife of yours well, a woman like that deserves all of the love you can give."

"Well, Kasumi, -chan deserves only th' best, can't nobody argue with that!"

'Oh my...'

"That's good, that's good. I am certain the two of you will be happy together forever!"

"Uh, yeah, I'm uh, sure we will... That reminds me, I was told ya took my clothes ta be washed?"

"Oh yes, our girls will have them done and down to you shortly, most of our guests prefer to lounge in their yukata while they are here. Speaking of which, let me apologize now for not having fresh yukata for you both already, we did not expect you up quite this soon."

"Aw, it ain't no problem. I'm kind a' used to it."

"What, your wife does not do laundry?"

"What? No, not that, it's just before that, Pops didn't much care about that stuff."

"Oh, I see... Well then, it is a good thing you found yourself such a talented bride already."

Kasumi blushed at the complement, and even more deeply when she thought about the 'bridal skill' she had continued to remember doing the night before. She still could not believe she had done that, twice, nor so many other things lately, but if it would help Ranma get better, then she was happy to do it. As far as she could tell, he almost seemed to fear intimacy of any kind, but he was certainly improving and she was quite enjoying the lessons.

"B-b-bride? Oh, yeah, I guess I did, huh?"

"Still not used to the married life, eh?"

"Yeah, it's still takin' a lot a' gettin' used ta."

"Now, now, don't you fret, it all gets easier in due time, we all went through this. It is perfectly normal."

"Ya think?"

"I know, I have seen it more times than I can count."

"If ya say so..."

"I do. Now, before you get back to the little lady, I might as well ask. Would you like us to bring you breakfast? Some people prefer to keep it light and just have bread with coffee or tea, some like to dine at one of our many local restaurants, and still others prefer to enjoy our chef's take on the traditional washoku. It all depends upon how soon you wish to get out there and start sightseeing."

The moment food was mentioned, Kasumi could feel Ranma light up, even from the inside their room.

"Yeah, please, thank ya!"

"I see. You are our only guests for breakfast this morning, so is there anything in particular you would like our chefs to prepare?"

"I'll eat anythin' ya bring, but if ya would, bring somethin' nice fer Kasumi-chan ...uh, please!"

'Awww... Ranma-kuuun, how sweet!'

"Do not worry, our head chef has been with us for more than forty years now, I have never been dissatisfied with anything that man makes! That is why I married the old fool! Ahahaha! I will go make certain that everything is perfect for you! Now, you should not keep a lady waiting..."

Feeling slightly guilty for having overheard their conversation, Kasumi tried to pretend that she was still half asleep as Ranma opened the door and entered the room.

"Tadaima."

"Welcome back ...Darling. How long ARE you going to keep me waiting?"

"Waiting? Fer what?"

"Are you not going to kiss your bride 'good morning'?"

Ranma froze after closing the door. "Should I?"

"Of course you should, every loving couple wakes up that way, and this is practice! A big boy like yourself ought to know these things. Come here, and lay next to me, I will show you what to do."

"Okay..." Doing as instructed, Ranma climbed back into the futon. He followed her indications and rolled over, finding himself face to face with a still naked Kasumi, their noses almost touching. He wanted to jump back, but her gentle arms wrapping around him prevented his retreat.

Kissing him on the cheek, her sweet voice softly whispered into his ear. "Good morning my love."

The feeling of their bodies pressing together, combined with her supple lips against his skin and warm breath in his ear made his whole body quiver, and gave him the goosebumps. His body grew stiff, and he had no idea how to react ...so he did not.

Not deterred by his lack of response, Kasumi left her arm around him and stroked his hair, hoping to help him relax. "See, that was not so bad, now it is your turn to do me. Okay?"

"'Kay..." A trembling Ranma, tried to will himself to relax, but the feeling that something bad was about to happen would not leave him. He did not sense anyone's aura other than the employees, nor could he sense any aggression, yet the nagging feeling would not fade. He could not allow himself to ignore it, but he did not want to let it distract him from his training either. So he pushed it to the back of his mind, where it could annoy him more quietly, and wrapped his arm around Kasumi as she did to him...

As he started to move, Kasumi felt glad that he was willing to try to follow her instructions, it showed that he wanted to improve, and that made her proud of him. However, as his arm slid across her body, it briefly touched her breasts. She could feel him start to jerk away, and she quickly reached up to hold his hand in place, giving him time to relax a little.

Ranma had thought it was strange, not only had she held his hand to her breast, but he was a little surprised that her nipples could get that hard! "Yer not cold, are ya?"

"Of course not, it is always nice and toasty here next to you. It is so warm, I do not know how I ever slept alone before! Can you not feel how nice it is?"

'I feel something...' Ranma was a bit too warm, he was not sure if it was the yukata, the blanket, their body heat, or his nerves, but he felt as if he were about to start sweating at any moment. The expectant look in her eyes begged him to continue, and as soon as she felt certain that he was going to proceed, she loosened her grip and he could move his hand again without force. His arm slid under hers, and around her back, bringing them much closer together.

Ranma tried to steady his breathing and ignore her scent and the feeling of her soft skin as he leaned in the rest of the way before giving her a light peck on the cheek. "G- good morning, m- my lo-lo-love!"

"You should not break the embrace so soon, it would be nice if you wanted to cuddle with your bride, but otherwise, you did very well."

"Thanks, I guess..." Suddenly he sensed two figures approaching, the both of them clumsily trying to hide their presences. The moment he heard them at the door, he rolled over, covering Kasumi's body with his own, so if someone attacked, he would take all of the damage.

"Oh my! Anata is so so bold all of a sudden!"

"Hello? We are sorry to disturb you, but we have your laundry."

"Should we bring it in, or would you prefer if we leave it here by the door?"

Not wanting anything to happen to his clothing, Kasumi spoke without thinking. "Bring it in please, set it on the table there, if you do not mind. Thank you both, very much."

Entering the room, the two women were hit in the face with the all too familiar aroma of 'love' filling the room. Realizing that they would have to air the room out soon, they exchanged a knowing grin.

Now that he knew they were safe, and not wanting to be seen in such a compromising position, Ranma was about to jump off of her when Kasumi's arms wrapped around him more tightly, and whispered into his ear, "Oh my, do not leave me exposed!"

"But, it's just..." There was no way he could argue with that expression, and gave up trying to escape, making certain to keep her covered.

The two embarrassed young women excused themselves while trying to restrain their giggles. "We are terribly sorry for the disturbance, we were told that you were in a hurry to get these back."

"We will make sure that the chefs take their time with your breakfast, so be sure not to rush on our accounts, and please do your best!"

"Oh, it is no problem, thank you all very much."

The two let themselves out of the room, as they both shouted, "Ganbatte!", and tittered like little birds.

Ranma let out a sigh. "Well, that was embarrassing..."

"What, are you embarrassed to be seen with me?"

"Well, not exactly, I am embarrassed fer ya ta be seen with me, like that, though..."

"Shall we go get our bath then? You have clean clothing now after all." Kasumi's warm smile was infectious, and he was unable to protest.

"I guess so..." If nothing else, he was looking forward to the large meal he had been promised.

"Good. This time, you can wash MY back first..."

"But we don't have ta-..."

"Now, now, it is only fair to take turns."

"Well, yeah, but-..."

Remembering her 'training', Kasumi yelped lightly. "No butt stuff..."

"Huh?"

"I mean no 'buts', other than washing mine!" With that, she wiggled her hips as she sauntered toward the next room.

"What? I though I was only washin' yer back..."

"Not this time, you will be doing all of it. Make certain you do not miss a spot." If that did not help him get more used to touching her, she was not sure what would... "Do a good enough job, I will give you a reward and we can count this as part of your homework."

Bolstered slightly by feeling as if he were getting away with something, Ranma quickly agreed and followed her, hanging his yukata up as he entered the changing area. Watching Kasumi, he was finding it difficult to avert his gaze as he normally would, his eyes were locked on her swaying posterior as she seated herself on the low stool. He had always known she was beautiful, no one could honestly deny it, however for some reason he could not understand, it seemed different that day. "Ka- Kasumi-chan!"

"Yes, Anata? Hurry now, I am waiting..."

"..."

"Darling?"

"Oh, uh, sorry, I guess I kind a' spaced out, er somethin'."

"That is fine, but it is getting chilly, I need a pair of big, strong hands to warm me up."

"Well, I got this." Scooping up some of the spring water into a bucket, he poured some of it down her back.

"OH MY!" She was glad that the water had not been cold, but it had been unexpected. "You should warn someone when you are about to do that..."

"Oh, sorry, used ta Pops, ya know..." Ranma suddenly felt a bit guilty about his attempt at a joke.

"Yes, well, you need to treat women more tenderly than your ...'father'."

"Sorry, I-..."

"There is no need to apologize, just ...be gentle, some women are delicate, like flowers."

"I'm sorry-..."

"Apologize with your hands..."

Ranma started to ask for forgiveness once again, but managed to catch himself before it slipped out. "What should I do then?"

"Since my hair is a bit wet already, why not start with that, okay? I am ready now, you may pour the water."

Doing as instructed, Ranma finished dampening Kasumi's hair before he started to massage in the shampoo. He had never had to wash his father's hair, nor with Shampoo and Ukyo, they only wanted him to wash their bodies, so not only was he nervous about the situation, but the movements were somewhat odd to him.

As he first began rubbing her scalp it had felt a bit awkward, but his talented fingers quickly grew accustomed to the motions, and she soon felt her body becoming like rubber. She was finding it difficult to continue sitting upright, and by the time he had rinsed out the shampoo, she was lying on the cool tiled floor.

"Kasumi! Are ya okay?"

"I am just fine but, please, do not stop now, that was just my hair."

"Oh uh, okay..." Ranma was still a bit concerned about how limp Kasumi had become, but she had asked him to continue, and the look upon her face certainly did not look displeased! As he had done with the others, he started to lather her back, and started to scrub, but unlike them, due to her earlier comment, he tried to be as gentle as he could be, not wanting to hurt her in any way, Kasumi was clearly not as hearty as either Shampoo or Ukyo, who had trained all of their lives. As his hands glided over her back, he noticed knots in her muscles, and instinctively tried to knead out the tension before moving on to the next area.

Still laying face down, Kasumi slowly felt as if she were turning into a jellyfish, and she wondered if perhaps this was how it felt to have one of those Jusenkyo curses. By the time he had gotten to her feet, she was starting to wonder if she would ever walk again, her legs were quivering almost as much as the other 'massager' that was also affecting her. She had almost forgotten that it was still going, as she had fallen asleep with it again, and it was just so pleasant... "Missed ...spot."

Ranma barely heard her soft voice mumbling into the floor, but he could only think of one exposed place he had not washed, and while it might be necessary, he was not exactly comfortable for him, he normally had only ever washed someone's back before, stopping before he got there. "But..."

"Yes, please. Remember ...'training', don't miss ...spot."

Ranma hesitated as the war in his head was waged, the battle was fierce, with each side fighting for control of his hands. The army of his male side wanted him to do as Kasumi had asked, many of them brandishing signs with her face plastered on them, and all of them telling him not to leave a woman waiting! Whereas members of his female army were holding up a huge sign with Happosai crucified to it, as well as many smaller signs with crossed out pictures of the old pervert, they were far too embarrassed to touch someone in such a place, considering it far too inappropriate. He may have been somewhat 'used to women's bodies', at least in certain ways, however that did not mean that he wanted to be seen as a perverted groper!

With the assault to her senses no longer continuing, the euphoria began to fade, and Kasumi's senses started to return, much to her dismay. "How long are you going to keep me waiting ...darling?"

At Kasumi's plea, his female troops crumbled to dust along with the effigy of Happosai, none could deny a request from her for long. If someone like Kasumi was asking him to do it, then there was no way this could be considered 'perverted', could it?

Hesitantly, his soapy hands reached forward, starting off with the small of her back, and moving to her hips, doing his best to avoid certain areas, while simultaneously not thinking about what it was he was doing. It was not an easy task, if he tuned out completely, his hands could do something he regretted, but the more attentive he was, the stranger it made him feel, as if he were about to lose a part of himself, that when combined with his danger senses ringing loudly in his mind, had him more on edge than ever before.

"Mmmmmm, so nice."

Her light expressions of pleasure helped him relax a small bit at a time, though the nagging warning sounds never left him, and he instinctively continued to disregard his senses more with each moment. The more his hands worked, the more intense her reactions became. Eventually he gave up and turned a blind eye to what had hands did, only listening to her voice to tell him what to do, and where to do it. He knew he was starting to lose his mind as he felt a vibration coming from within Kasumi, it made no sense to him, so he assumed it had to be his imagination.

Kasumi was floating in the heavens once again, her body tingling from the waist down and her mind fuzzy as she floated in the ether. It was a somewhat familiar feeling, similar to how she felt when Ranma had last 'practiced' on her, though not as intense. Her memories of that time were cloudy at best, but she knew that it was an incredibly moving experience, and she would not object to repeating it. Though by the time Ranma's hands finally slid between her buttocks, she could not hold back any longer, and it felt as if the floodgates had opened up from within and all of the euphoria that had been building up poured out of her in a rush. "Ooooooh myyyyyyyyyyy!"

"Kasumi-chan! What happened, yer not hurt er nuthin' are ya?"

It took her a moment to catch her breath, and another to even realize that she was being asked a question. Panicking, she rolled over as quickly as she had been able to manage with her rubbery muscles, wanting to face him. "No! You cannot stop now, you are only halfway done..."

"Uuum, okay..." Ranma reluctantly allowed himself to be guided as she pulled his hands toward her, placing them on her sides, and as he started to lather her up, she giggled lightly at his touch. He intuitively tried to pull back at her reaction, however she did not give him the opportunity, keeping a tight grip on his wrists.

"Do not dare back out now!" Kasumi was surprised by her own vehemence, she could not believe that she was reacting so strongly! Sure, she wanted Ranma to get over his problem, but that did not explain why she almost felt ...'miffed'. Could it be that she had another reason? Was it because of the game they were playing? That did not seem to make any sense to her, it was mostly just for fun. What could be the reason? Was there some ulterior motive? That did not seem like her-... "Mmmm, oh YES, right there!"

Once again, Ranma had a strangest feeling that Kasumi had been replaced by Shampoo for the briefest of moments, and he might have thought they had switched personalities or something, if her aura were not still very 'Kasumi'. ...Well, that and she still spoke perfect Japanese.

"Mmmmmm, Husband ...touch here."

"AH!" Ranma flinched as she tried to direct his hands further up toward her underarms, and almost brushing her breasts. "Shampoo?"

"Soap, shampoo, at this point, I do not care, just do not stop until you are done. ...Then it will be your turn to relax, okay Anata?"

Ranma started to calm himself, of course this was one-hundred percent Kasumi, he was just being paranoid. Too many strange things happened in his life, and he was just being silly, that had to be it. She was just acting this way because of his training, and there was nothing more to it. There was no way there could be anything else to it!

"Ooooh mmmmmmooore."

Without realizing it, he found himself massaging her breasts, and they were the softest things he had ever felt in his life. Not his own, nor even Shampoo's could compare to their unbelievably sponginess. He could not explain it, but there was just something about the way this felt that was unlike anything he had known before, and it worried him a bit. Then he noticed something that he found unusual, considering how close he was to sweating. "Are ya still cold?"

After a breathy exhale, her only response was to wrap her arms around his waist, pulling him into a tight embrace, and using his entire body as a 'sponge' to further wash herself. As she moved around, his thigh continued to rub between her legs, and she could not help but to moan out in pleasure. She was no longer thinking at all, allowing her baser instincts to take hold as she writhed in absolute pleasure.

"Uh, Kasumi-chan?" Ranma found himself in a very Shampoo-like glomp, unable to find purchase, and not entirely certain he wanted to break free, even if a little voice was telling him that he needed to do just that!

"Yes Mother, will not let go..."

"What? I don't-..." Ranma's inquiry was cut off as Kasumi's soft lips locked onto his own, sending his danger senses into overdrive. He was certain that if he did not get away something bad was sure to happen, however she would not let go, and he could not risk hurting her. He was having a difficult time ignoring the feeling of certain parts of Kasumi's anatomy rubbing against his own naked flesh, and he found it to be incredibly ...distracting. There was a small part of him that wanted to revel in that feeling, and that worried him most of all. It was threatening to wrest control from him, and shut down his mind, reminding him of the Neko-Ken in a strange way.

The feeling of losing control of his sense of self, was one of the few things that he could at least admit to himself that scared him. Every time he woke from the Cat-Fist he had to worry about what he may have done and who he might have hurt, hoping that it was never much more than his stupid old man, or someone else he felt deserved it anyway. There had been a few times in which he had awoken to find that he had hurt someone who did not deserve it, his father had tried to hide it from him at first, just another reason to move to another town, but after a while he started to connect the fractured memories and piece things together. The worst had been a young girl he had befriended when he was nine, but one day she brought a stray kitten to the park where they would occasionally play, and the rest of the day was a blank. He later got away from his father before they left and found that she had been taken to the hospital, and had almost died ...because of him! He could never forgot the fear in her eyes when he crawled through that window. As usual, Genma had pulled them out of that prefecture that evening, but it had left a lasting impact on him.

He would do almost anything to prevent a similar thing happening again, especially to someone as nice as Kasumi! Martial artists were supposed to protect the weak, not hurt them! What was the point of having power, if you could not control it? Who was he, Ryoga? Taro? Some other jerk who did not care about the people around them? No, he was Ranma Saotome and he could overcome any foe, even if that adversary was himself!

Exerting all of his willpower, Ranma did his best to tune out the 'torment' happening in his loins, while attempting to divert his attention toward something far less ...pleasant. He started off thinking about sports, but did not really know much about any particular team. He considered trying to imagine that he was eating some of Akane's cooking, but was afraid that he might get sick to his stomach. Then he pictured the most horrifying thing he could imagine, Cologne making 'kissing' faces at him! Now the only things he had to resist were the instincts to run, and the feeling that something awful was likely to happen to him soon.

"Oh my, thank you Darling-kun. I have never felt so ...clean before in my life! Now I must pay you back for doing such a fine job."

"Hey, ya ain't gotta-..."

"Hush. Now just sit here and close your eyes."

Ranma did as instructed, not wanting to argue with the motherly woman's gentle yet firm tone, doing his best to think about the meal that would soon be brought to them, and how long they might have.

Despite having washed his hair the night before, Kasumi started with that, enjoying the feeling of running her fingers through it, staring with untying his braid. "You really do have beautiful hair, it is too bad that you keep it tied up all of the time."

"Well, it ain't like I had a lot a' choice fer a while, but it's mostly 'cause it don't get tangled, er in th' way in a fight."

"But I do not think you will be fighting all of the time, do you?"

"No, but it ain't like a kidnapper's gonna wait fer me ta do somethin' with it, and ya never know what's gonna happen."

"That may be, but that is no reason we cannot change things around once in a while, I am certain that we can find other ways to keep it out of the way, and still look more handsome."

"Ya don't like my hair?"

"I did not say that, but is it not nice to change things around once in a while?"

"I had ta change mine in China, how long have you worn the same style ...or even style of outfit?"

"I- I am not certain... Oh my."

"See?"

"Well then, how about this, after our bath, we will each style the other's hair for the rest of the day, okay?"

"I ain't exactly good at it ya know?"

"I have faith in you. All right, I am going to rinse out the shampoo, okay?" Waiting for his nod, she poured the warm water over his head, making sure it was clean and clear. With a grin on her lips, she circled around until she was in front of him. "Keep your eyes closed now, we would not want anything to splash you."

"Ain't that big a deal..." Despite his words, he did not disobey, figuring that it would make it easier to keep his mind off of Kasumi's nude body if he had been in his cursed form, while she was washing him, mere centimeters away from him.

Kasumi's found herself unable to avert her gaze, even while her hands managed to do as they were told and start washing his shoulders, but her eyes would not stop staring at his lap. 'Kawaii!'

Without thinking, she started to rub her body against his arm, using her breasts to wash him, and positioning herself so that his hand was rubbing against her. "This is not hurting you in any way, is it?" Nodoka had explained to her that this was the proper way for a woman to wash a man, but she was still embarrassed to be seen doing it, which was the real reason she had asked him to continue keeping his eyes shut.

"No, a' course not, yer hands're REALLY soft."

Kasumi blushed when she realized what 'hands' he meant. "You need to be cleaned properly." After his other arm, she repositioned herself so that she could wash his wide chest with her breasts, while rubbing her groin on his legs, focusing on his knees. "Does this feel okay, are you enjoying it?"

"I guess, yeah, it feels good." In fact, Ranma was doing his absolute best to not think about exactly 'how' nice it felt, for fear of losing himself again.

Squirting a little more of the liquid soap onto her breasts, she got an idea. "If you would not mind, please turn sideways on the bench." Sliding in behind him, she started to rub his broad back, as her arms wrapped around him to hold him tightly, hoping that he would not try to run. "You should not squirm so much, we are simply 'washing' you."

"Uh, I know, sorry, it's just, it, uh, 'tickles', a little."

"Oh, is that so? I did not know that you were ticklish."

"I'm not, really, but it's just-..."

"Well, shall we test that?"

"No, wait...! Hey! That's not fair! HAHAHA!" Kasumi's fingers hunted for any sensitive spot, until they grabbed a hold of something that she had been eyeing all morning. "Whoa, hey, what're ya doin'?"

Remembering what Nodoka told her, she tried to explain her intentions. "It is an important area on a man, we need to make certain that we wash it, carefully."

"But-..."

"Relax, we are just cleaning you." Using both hands, she gently caressed every bit of it, making sure that she pealed it back to clean inside.

Ranma's breathing grew heavier as he wondered why she was focusing so much attention on that part of him, could it be 'that' dirty? He started to feel funny as the blood started to flow away from his brain, and into another part of him. No longer able to control himself, he panicked and only saw one way out. Leaping straight up about three meters, he flipped a few times in the air to land over by the water, using both hands to try and cover his rising manhood. "I'm sorry! I-..."

"You should be, that is not right!" Kasumi pouted as she rolled over to face him.

"It ain't my fault, I couldn't help it! I-..."

"Do not give me that, you most certainly could! It is not nice to run away from someone who is trying to help you!"

"But I, I mean I, it's just, I couldn't..."

"You were growing hard?" She gave him a questioning, yet knowing look, and his only response was to hang his head in shame. "Oh my, you do not need to worry about that, it is a perfectly normal reaction to something like that." In fact, she had been a little disappointed that she had not gotten a rise out of Ranma sooner, but assumed that had been due to her age and being less beautiful than Shampoo or even his cursed form. ...Though it was not as if she were WANTING him to find her attractive as a women, but still, it was nice to feel wanted.

"But, I didn't mean ta-..."

"It is okay, I am not upset. It is only natural for a healthy young man to have that happen."

"But, what about-..."

"There is no need to be concerned, it is more unusual for it NOT to happen at your age. This will be our little secret, you do not need to worry about anything, okay?" As he started to relax a little, Kasumi moved over to put her arms around him. "Everything is going to be fine. For now, how about we both get rinsed off and soak, all right?"

Ranma was not sure how to take that, but he did not want to argue with Kasumi, and he WAS looking forward to breakfast!

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"We thought that no one had ever looked as cute together drinking the ceremonial sake before, and so my husband wanted to prepare an extra special breakfast for you both."

"Why thank you very much, that is too kind, you did not have to go to the trouble."

"Oh, but you both remind us of ourselves so many years ago, so it is worth it. We just want to wish you both a long and happy life together. It is so rare that we see such beautiful newlyweds!" Taking a light whiff of the lingering scents in the room, she smiled. "Love is in the air!"

"Oh my!" Both of them blushed and turned away.

Clapping her hands, the okami summoned the nakai who were helping her that morning. "Girls, you may enter now."

Two young woman came though the door, each carrying a large tray of food that they placed in front of each of their guests with a bow. "Please, we hope that you enjoy your meals!"

"Thank you, now you may go, I will handle this myself." The elder woman nodded to them, signaling them to depart.

The two employees left with another bow as they whispered to each other about how unusual it was for their manager to act that way, and how much they wished they could spend more time around the handsome young couple.

"Please, pardon them, they are still young and inexperienced."

"Oh my, no, they were lovely." Kasumi's pleasant smile warmed the room.

Moving closer to them, the older woman started removing the covers from each dish. "Here we have your miso soup with tofu and green onions, my husband likes to add a tiny bit of bok choy for flavor. Next is your rice, your rolled omelet, grilled mackerel, and several more side dishes. You said that you were hungry, and we wanted to make sure that you have plenty of energy for the rest of your day!"

Kasumi cringed slightly at the pickled vegetables, still having a light aversion to them. It was not as if she did not like them, but they still reminded her of a certain surprise trip to China a while back, and while she could not exactly say she was sorry that it happened, the memory of seeing Ranma beaten so badly while trying to save her still occasionally gave her nightmares. Being the polite young woman that she was, she recovered quickly, and had to admire the presentation and quality of the rest of the meal. "Oh, it looks just lovely! Please thank your husband for us."

After staring at the pickles for a moment, she cut into the omelet with her chopsticks, picking up the smaller piece before holding it out toward Ranma with a smile. "Aaaaahhhh..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Having finished their breakfast, Kasumi gently reminded Ranma about their promise to fix each other's hair, while dragging him before the mirror. "Now, if you would just sit here and relax, I will see if I can do something you like." Pulling the top and sides of his hair toward the back, she braided that, while leaving the back hanging loose. She felt as if it were a compromise, keeping his braid while leaving the back long, which she thought look very mature, not to mention how it felt to run her fingers through it! Something about it reminded her of someone, but she could not place it. "You look very handsome. What do you think, should we get you a little mustache to help you look a little older? No? Okay, if you insist. Now it is your turn."

With a little prompting on her part, they switched places, while Ranma stood there, looking rather confused. "But, what'd I do?"

"How about you just start with brushing, can you do that?"

"A' course I can! Who'd ya think I am?"

"My shy 'husband', who is too embarrassed to play with girls, and afraid to get an erection around your loving 'wife'?"

"Hey, that ain't fair, it's not-, I'm not- ...it just ain't like that! Okay?"

"Yes, yes. Now remember, start at the bottom, and slowly work your way up to the top, watching out for tangles as you go." It did not take long before Kasumi started to enjoy the feeling of the brush on her scalp and down her back, and she was a bit disappointed when he finally stopped. "Very nice, now what style do you think would look good on me?"

"I don't know, ya look good with it like this, er anythin' else too, I'll bet."

"That is kind of you to say, but I would like to see you try, if you do not mind."

"I guess..." Ranma was uncertain as to what he should be doing, the number of hairstyles he knew how to do were quite limited, and he did not think she would be thrilled with his warrior's braid! He looked in the mirror at what she had done with his own hair, and after a moment of wondering why he looked a bit like Soun, tried to think of his options. He ended up doing something similar, although instead of a braid, he tied the back into a bun, just as Shampoo had taught him.

Kasumi turned her head back and forth, looking into the mirrors, admiring his work. "Oh my, how lovely! I did not know you could do this, but I knew you would do just fine." She turned to wink at Ranma, grinning toward his blushing face. "Thank you, Honey." Acting on instinct, she kissed him on the cheek as she stood up from the bench.

"Uh, sure, no problem... I'm gonna go get changed, so ...see ya in a few."

"You know, you can change here."

"Yeah, but ...my clothes're in there, ya know?"

"Oh my, so they are... Well, do not take too long, Anata." There was a hint of disappointment in her voice.

"Yeah, sure... Be glad ta be back in my normal clothes anyway, too hard ta move in this."

"That is too bad, you do look nice in a yukata."

"But, I can't really fight in it as well."

"Well, you would not want to ruin it anyway."

"Uh, guess so."

Kasumi watched as he left, glad that they had allowed her to borrow another yukata to wear during the rest of their sightseeing. She would have been far too embarrassed to be seen wearing one of those skimpy Chinese dresses any longer than necessary. "Poo... If only that stain had come out of my other dress, then I could have worn that home." It was going to be awkward enough having to wear one for the train ride!

As she removed the yukata she had been wearing, Kasumi wondered what would make them sabotage her luggage as they did. She had told them she did not think they would look good on her, she would be too embarrassed to wear such a thing, and that she thought that they looked better on someone with Shampoo's figure anyway. She much preferred clothing that covered quite a bit, and did what they could to hide her curves, it was far too mortifying to stand out so much in public. While walking from the train to the hotel, she had wanted to hide behind Ranma whenever she noticed someone looking at her, and she had been so grateful when they had allowed her to borrow this yukata.

Folding it, she placed it on the shelf with a bow. "Yukata-san, thank you for being here for me. May you treat the next person as well."

Turning around, she saw a small flying squirrel digging in the flower garden, who suddenly looked up to meet her gaze. "How adorable! Good morning, Momi-san. How are you today?"

The small rodent just tilted its head, looking curiously at her voice.

"Looking for bulbs are you, you naughty thing? I know that you love them, but it is not good to invade someone's flower bed. Someone went to a lot of work to plant those." Opening a small bag she had nearby, she pulled out a few chestnuts, setting them on the windowsill. "Here you go, little one, enjoy your meal."

She slowly backed away, watching as the squirrel cautiously investigated the offering. "Aw, how cute are you?"

Watching her little friend out of the corner of her eye, she put on the clean nagajuban while humming a happy morning song she had learned by watching her mother as a child. As she tied it off with the light undersash, she saw the fuzzy scavenger begin working on cracking the first nut. Pausing for a moment, she enjoyed watching it work, smiling as she did. "You are a brave little one, are you not? I have read most of you are nocturnal, were you someone's pet?"

"I thought you only lived in Hokkaido, did you ride a boat? How very brave you are." She could not be certain, but she liked to think that the delightful critter understood her, though perhaps it was just following the sound of her voice.

"Oh my, you are finished already?" Getting into her pouch, she pulled out a couple more nuts, setting them out for her new friend, who allowed her to get closer that time. Looking up curiously, the squirrel glanced back and forth between the nuts and the woman who gave them to it. "It is okay, you can eat them now, but I need to finish getting dressed, we do not wish to make Ranma-Honey wait too long."

Tilting its head the other way, it chirped quizzically while stuffing the nuts into its cheeks, watching Kasumi trying to adjust her yukata.

Taking her eye off of her furry friend, she gazed into the mirror, admiring the material. It was a beautiful garment, light blue with a pink floral pattern, and she rather liked the way it looked on her. However, the moment she bent over to get her obi, the miniature marauder made its move.

Before Kasumi had noticed, it had dashed across the room and run up her body as if she were a tree trunk, circling around until it make it to her shoulder before leaping to the table and grabbing her bag.

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Having finished changing within moments, Ranma stood on his head while meditating on his existence as he waited for Kasumi to get ready. He could not get his head around what was happening in his life, the last year had brought with it so many changes, and they did not seem to be stopping any time soon. Ever since that first trip to China things had gotten strange, and then after the last trip, things changed again... Was China the catalyst? Would his life change dramatically again if he were to make another visit? He had hoped that if he went back he could finally look for a cure, something he regretted not being able to do on his last trip... At least he was able to do what was really important, and that was all that truly mattered.

Just as a certain woman's face floated into his mind, he heard her scream from the other room, which startled him out of his trance, and caused him to fall flat on his face. "Ow." Without taking the time to fully stand, or even rub his nose, he ran for the changing room, and as he opened the door, he saw a disheveled Kasumi, unceremoniously sitting on the floor, her yukata hanging off of one shoulder. "Kasumi-chan! Are ya okay?"

"My bag!"

"What?"

"That squirrel ran off with the pouch I use to carry my things..." She pointed outside.

Ranma searched the area with his senses, and spotted the furry devil on the on the tree by the hot spring. "I'll get it back for ya!" As he started to tense up to leap, Kasumi stopped him with a hand on his leg.

"Wait! Don't hurt it! It is just so cute!"

"But?" Unable to endure the look on her face, Ranma relented. "If ya insist." Picking up a small pebble, he flicked it across the room, and as it flew through the open window, bounced off of one of the stones ringing off the spring, before ricocheting off of the fence, and then back, knocking the small pouch out of the squirrel's mouth. Within an instant, Ranma had crossed the distance, catching the 'purse' out of the air. "Here ya go."

"Thank you, that was amazing! You calculated those angles like a geometry master!"

"Huh, what? I just threw a rock..."

"No, instinctively you used math to figure out the right angle and power to flick that so that it bounce just right. That is not as easy as you might think."

"Sure it is, ya just look an' throw, ain't nuthin' to it."

"That is what makes it SO incredible."

"What is?"

"That you do not think anything about doing something so extraordinary. Most people could never manage such a thing."

"Ya think?"

"Without question."

"Huh...?" Ranma sat there, pondering that thought, and wondering what it could possibly mean. He knew he was better than most at the martial arts, but what did that have to do with something like math? He always assumed anyone could do it as easily if they had been subjected to similar training, that seemed to be the only difference to him. He knew plenty of people who could do such things after all, it could not be THAT hard...

"Well, thank you. Would you keep a hold of that for me for now, I do not want to lose our walking around money."

"Oh, sure..."

"And perhaps you could help me with my obi as well?" She looked at his with pleading eyes.

"If ya need..." Seeing her nod, he helped wrap the wide belt around her waist, missing how her smile broaden as his arms wound around her. "There ya go, nice an' tight."

"Why, thank you my dear. You are very good at this, maybe I should have you help me more often. What do you think of that?" Kasumi covered her mouth as she started to giggle.

"Well, I mean, I guess ...I'd help ya with whatever ya need, ya know?" Ranma blushed at the thought of helping her dress on a regular basis.

With a light peck on his cheek, she threw her arms around his neck. "You are so kind to me, and you make such a wonderful husband. The best one I have ever had!" She winked at him as she held his tight.

"Naw, I ain't nuthin' special." His skin flushed a brighter shade of pink.

"You really are, you can do so much more than just beating people up. You are a very talented young man, and you can do anything you dedicate yourself to doing. I have seen it."

"Ya now, it ain't really about beatin' people up, right? It's an art. It's about masterin' yer own body, an' pushin' yerself ta always do better. It's about protecting others as well as yourself."

"Can you say you have really mastered your body, if you have not finished your classwork?"

"What'd ya mean?"

"That is what your mother's class is all about too, mastering your own body, as well as your partner's."

"Really? It just seems like talkin' about, an' doin' pervy stuff. Ya know?"

"I know it might seem that way, especially considering what you have been thorough, and while it is best to wait until you are married for some of it, there is nothing wrong with any of it in an of itself. You are not a bad person for enjoying things like this either." Kasumi nibbled on his earlobe for a moment to emphasize her point. "It is only bad when you overdo it, or try to force your attentions on someone who does not feel the same way. If you both like each other, then it is perfectly natural to want to be together, and show each other how much you care."

"I don't get it, then, why's everyone always get so mad all th' time?"

"Well, you will notice that it is not everyone who gets mad. Am I angry?"

"I guess not..."

"No. I know Akane-chan and you had issues, but did Shampoo-chan, Kuonji-san, or that Kuno girl get upset at you when you were with them?"

"Sometimes..."

"Oh my, I-... Really?"

"Yeah, pretty much everybody gets mad at me when anyone does anything. What show have ya been watching?"

"I-..." Kasumi thought she had paid attention to almost everything that happened in her household, and she had always thought of herself as being rather observant, though it seemed as if had missed out on far more of life that she had first been aware. So, in the spirit of 'not missing out', she made a bold decision. "I see... I will tell you what, in order to show you my point, if you can kiss me ...on the lips, then I will say this session of your homework is done for now, and we can go sightseeing. Okay?" Not waiting for a response, nor letting go, she circled around to face him, even if he would not make eye-contact with her.

"Uh, but, wait ...are ya sure?"

'Ara! Ara! Ara!' Her internal voice was panicking at her own boldness, although for Ranma's sake, she did her best to project an aura of calmness, not wanting to scare him off. "Yes Darling-kun, I am positive. You are a wonderful young man, and I wish to help show you what you are missing out on in life. Now, show me that you are able to help yourself and have the courage to place your lips upon your willing partner."

"Um, but I don't want ya ta do somethin' ya don't wanna, yer always doing stuff like this fer me these days, an' it ain't right ta make ya. Wouldn't that make me just like that jerk Kuno, er th' old pervert?"

"So it would be okay if I were Shampoo-chan?"

"Well, no, but-..."

"Is it so difficult for you to believe that I might WANT you to do it?"

"Ya do? Why?"

"For many reasons, the biggest ones being that I care about you, and want you to be happy. So, are you going to do it, or will you keep me waiting forever?"

"But, I-..." Knowing his situation, he did not see any way he could escape, Kasumi was one person he could never rebuff, no matter what she asked. Staring into her heavenly features, he was glad that she was keeping her eyes closed, he did not believe he could have gone through with it if she had been looking back at him. Trying to gather his courage, he stood there, unmoving, and unable to shake the feeing that something bad would happen if he did it.

"Anata, I am waiting-...? Oh maruaphffnmmmmm..." Still not looking, Kasumi was surprised by the sudden feeling of his strong lips upon her own, yet she quickly found herself enjoying it thoroughly. That was, until Ranma jumped back with a yelp!

Suddenly, Ranma felt the claws in his back as the squirrel ran up him, down his arm, trying to make off with Kasumi's pouch. "Oi! What'd ya do that for?" As soon as he jumped back, he saw what had caused his surprise, and plucked it off of the purse, tossing the rodent out of the window.

"Chibi-chan is likely after your nuts."

"What?"

Before Kasumi could respond, the little critter had poked its head up over the windowsill to survey the area. Ranma tried to rush over and close the window before it could get back in, but it jumped through just as he got in range, scurrying out of sight. "Oh my!"

Ranma searched the room, honing in on the squirrel's elusive ki, just before it ran out, bit his foot, and ran to hide again. "OW! Hey!"

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah. It ain't like they can really break my skin, just annoyin'."

"I see..."

"Ow! Ow! Damn! Hey!" Ranma jumped around with each rushing attack on his feet, starting to get frustrated with each glancing blow. Tired of this attempted Attack of One Thousand Cuts, he prepared for the next pass. Hoping to catch it, his hand shot out, however it moved more quickly than he expected, and only managed to grab its tail.

As he tried to get to the window, it spared no effort in attacking his hand, clawing and biting at it with a fervor. As it swung its little body around, it managed to snag Ranma's sleeve with its claws, pulling itself free and running up his arm. Latching onto his braid, it used the swinging motion to launch itself into the air, and doing a somersault at the zenith of the arc, it aimed for the bag. Unfortunately for the squirrel, Ranma was far too fast for it, and spun the bag around his finger, bopping the little bugger out through the window again. Without waiting, he quickly closed it, before his furry foe could return. "Ha! That'll teach ya ta mess with Ranma Saotome! Now, what were ya tryin' ta say about my..." Ranma triumph quickly turned to embarrassment, as he found it difficult to talk about that part of his body with Kasumi.

"There are chestnuts in the bag..."

"Oh! I see..." He relaxed as he realized his mistake.

"Perhaps we should put the rest outside, what do you think?"

"I don't know, we should be fine now, right?"

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Frustrated, the restless rodent gathered items from around the yard, before stacking them together and creating a little shrine. Kneeling down, it began to bow and pray to the ancient Norse Squirrel god, Ratatoskr, hoping to be shown the way. As the inaudible chanting continued, the light reflected off of something, catching the corner of its eye. Hopping over for a closer look, it found that the sliding door had not been completely closed!

Digging in its claws, it tried to pull the door further open, but could not manage the feat. After trying from several positions, it finally managed to get some movement by pressing on the wall with its back feet, and the door with its fore feet.

After taking a moment to catch its breath, it ran over and crushed some berries, wiping the juice onto its face before tying a small piece of string around its head. Once ready, it blew into a small shell before lifting up a stick in one claw and letting out a loud squawking cry! As it charged forward, all manner of small birds and other rodents filled in behind the leader of the charge. With the help of its friends, they managed to open the door further, and stormed into the room with a thunderous rumble of the stampede of tiny feet across the wooden floor.

Ranma noticed them almost a moment too late, quickly interposing himself between Kasumi and the impending danger. "Get back!" His aura building up, he tried to think of how to protect Kasumi, without damaging the hotel...

"Please, do not hurt them..."

"Kuso..." That limited his options even further! He tried to use his speed to gently toss them out as quickly as he was able, however he was unable to keep up with the onslaught. He could not use his full speed while trying to be gentle and just toss them away and not punching them, but they were starting to overwhelm him, and he was not certain what to do. Concerned that some might get passed him, he continued trying to think of new ways out of their situation, when he remembered a move that had been used upon him not all that long ago.

Concentrating, he focused some of his ki into his vocal chords, projecting his willpower forward and yelling with all of his might. "STOP!"

One by one, the crowd of critters began to fall unconscious until only the one still awake was the solitary stunned squirrel, who stood there wobbling, unable to focus its eyes. "Oh no ya don't, I ain't lettin' ya get Kasumi-chan!" Moving rapidly, he put his newfound cleaning skills to use, quickly taking all of them back outside before locking the door.

"Oh my, so many..."

"Yeah, that was pretty wild."

"I suppose we should do something about it. Do you not agree?"

"Well, I locked the door and window."

"Yes, but..." Taking her handbag, she started pulling out various foodstuffs, making a large pile on a napkin.

Ranma thought that she was pulling out far more than should have fit in there, and wondered if she had learned some form of the hidden weapons technique. Carrying her bundle outside, she started distributing assorted fruits, berries, hazelnuts, and seeds to the animals that preferred them before returning. "There we go. Shall we be off?"

"That's awful nice a' ya, but that's probably why they're so aggressive in th' first place."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh never mind."

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Having a late train back home, the inn agreed to take care of their luggage until it was time for them to go, allowing them to do more sightseeing without having to worry about their bags. Other than the time, the only thing they would need to remember was to purchase their perishable gifts right before they went back. She had a cooler prepared, and the okami had even agreed to get her husband to fill it with ice for her when it was time for them to return. They had been so nice to them, that Kasumi dearly hoped that she would be able to talk Ranma into returning with her one day when they could stay longer.

She had to wonder about that for a moment, if she did return, would they have to continue to pretend to be married...? The thought of which brought a silly grin to her lips as she linked her arm with his, much to his surprise. With the way her life had been going, she assumed that this was likely the closest she would ever get to being married ...so she might as well enjoy it to the fullest!

Still not accustomed to the close contact, Ranma flinched at being held so closely. "Ah, uh, ya all right, Kasumi-chan?"

"Oh my yes, everything is just perfect! What would you like to do first, my 'darling'?"

Ranma flinched at the emphasis she put on the 'pet name', but was glad that she was happy. He did not know of anything that overly interested him other than food, so far, most of what they saw had been museums and shrines. He enjoyed walking around with her, and they had gotten to see a lot of very beautiful scenery, but nothing else called to him, so he tried to remember what Kasumi had enjoyed the most on their walk the day before.

"Well, there's another art museum over there..."

"While I do like them, you did go with me to several museums yesterday..." Kasumi had seen how little interest that he had looking at all of the various galleries, and it had meant a lot to her that he had been willing to accompany her there in spite of it, but she wanted to do something they both would enjoy. She had heard about a nice cruse ship that goes out on the lake, but thought being around all of that water might be a bad idea for Ranma, so she reconsidered. As she looked around for other ideas, she noticed one of the nice old women from the ceremony waving her over.

"Good morning to you young lovers! How are you both this fine morning?"

"We are very well, thank you. How are you doing?" Few could resist one of Kasumi's brilliant smiles, and the old woman returned it in kind.

"Quite well indeed. What do you have planned for today? Are you staying with us for much longer?"

"Our train dose not leave until late this evening, so we wanted to see more of your lovely town, though we have not made any decisions as of yet. My 'husband' took me to see all of your lovely art exhibitions yesterday, so I was looking for something ...active to do today."

"Was your evening not 'active' enough for you? Oh, to be young and full of energy again! Ohohohohoho!" The old woman covered her mouth as she laughed. "Not that I blame you my dear, though if I had your energy and husband, I don't think I would have left the hotel room!"

"Well, we did have some rather forward guests, and we thought it might be best to leave early."

"Oh dear, well I do hope that there were no terrible problems."

"Nothing my dear husband could not handle."

"The lad does look rather capable, I must say. You must be careful, I have heard some unpleasant types have been targeting wealthy looking tourists, so I do hope that was not who you ran into this morning!"

"Oh my, no, it was not problem, my honey bunny is 'gifted' like no one else I have ever known."

"Well, do be careful, and if you are looking for a place to go, there is the Forest Adventure park just over that way. You can either play in the obstacle course, or just get lost in the woods together ...and have some private time."

The idea a physical challenge put a smile on Ranma's lips, and without a word, Kasumi's mind was made. "Thank you, that sounds lovely."

"Well, here, give this to the people at the food stands, they will give you a discount."

"You do not have to do that, you should use it."

"It is okay, my nephew works there and brings me food whenever I want."

"Sounds like a nice boy."

"Better than my son ever was! Hahahaha!"

Kasumi did not think that was a nice thing to say, even if it was about her own son, but did not wish to argue with the woman, perhaps she had some reason. "Well, thank you, we will have to make certain that we stop there then."

"You are very welcome, I hope the two of you have lots of fun!" She waved as she watched them walk away, cackling as she saw the young woman grabbed her 'husband's hand. She reminisced for a moment about being 'young and in love' before going back in to their family's shop. "We have any more of those coupons? I just unloaded the last one I had!"

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BONUS: The Short Story of Hikka-kun

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Deep in the forests of Hokkaido, a scruffy young squirrel chased an acorn. This activity encompassed most of his limited experience, and had been a nightmarishly daunting task. Every time he had managed to get close, some horrible stroke of bad luck would rip the tantalizing morsel from his tiny jaws, and typically sent him flying into something solid, or worse.

After chasing a nut all night, he had found himself far from his home as the sun began to rise, and without having eaten a thing. As his dinner continued to elude his claws, he saw something more beautiful than anything the small rodent's wildest dreams, and anyone who knew him could tell you that was saying quite a lot. Before him were a number of those larger, furless mammals, carrying a crate full of nuts, and forgetting about his previous prey, he cautiously stalked behind the two men, as they unloaded their burden near several other similar containers. As the people left, he scurried over, pausing for a moment to admire the large drawing of a acorn, before looking for a way inside. While unable to get into the box he wanted, he did find some peanuts that were enough to keep him occupied enough not to notice as they were loaded into a shipping container, and onto a ship.

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Having found himself in another, much warmer city, he did not see many a tree as far as the eye could see, though before he had left, he had stuffed his cheeks as full as he could get them before running off in search of a new home. Not having the best grasp of time anyway, the little guy had no idea how long it had taken him to find the nearest park, but most of the other rodents he had run across had not been the friendliest of types, with rats running him off any time he got near their hiding places.

Starting to run low on supplies, he managed to find his way into a convenience store and started to drool. While they did not have any acorns, they did have fresh fruits, and while it not been easy to escape from the who had tried to prevent him from getting it, but the soft flesh of the strawberries had been far easier to hold onto and eat then his usual fare. He was starting to like his new territory.

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The fuzzy invader had still not had the easiest of times, having been chased out of one neighborhood after another until one day he ran into a rather large rat. With his earlier encounters, the squirrel was afraid of what the other rodent might have in store for him, and clutching his cherries, he tried to back away. Before he could take three steps, the rat had flipped over his head, landing behind him.

Using a small twig like a staff, the rat blocked his path and smiled at him. Stuffing his fruit into his mouth, he turned to try running the other direction, only to be prevented as the rat grabbed onto one of the cherry stems still sticking out of his mouth. The rat waved a finger in his face, grabbing the squirrel's right, front paw, he pulled it toward himself, blocking it with the stick in his free paw. The squirrel looked back and forth between his fist and the rat, only to see it nod back at him with a grin. Gaining a bit of confidence, he stepped back, and tried to throw several more punches, only to see each of them blocked by the older rodent.

After they had worked together for several hours, the rat led him down into the sewer where he had made a nice nest for himself, where they shared a meal.

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Having trained for many months, he awoke one day to find his master missing without a trace. He searched for days without finding any clues, and eventually had to give up, deciding that he could no longer stand to stay there without the other rodent to keep him company and set out on his own again.

After several more weeks of exploration, the squirrel stumbled into a hot-spring. Startled at first, he found that he rather enjoyed the long soak in the naturally hot water. That was until the two human exited the building, and started throwing things at him. He was scared at first, but remembering his training, he caught some of the food that had been thrown, and made a break for the nearest tree.

As he was about to dig into his spoils, he noticed a chipmunk and its family shivering in the night sky, looking very hungry. After a few moments of hesitation, he shared his meal with his new friends.

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NOTES

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Hikkaku - (v) to scratch; to claw

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Well, I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter, we are now passed the 2/3s mark and nearing the of our tale. What will happen next? Come back and find out when we read, 'Treetop Tales', or 'Obstacles are for Crossing?'


	37. Chapter 37

Warning: Consumption of this story may cause discomfort and/or a laxative effect.

Chapter 37 - Where to Park?

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Looking at the brochure, they saw that the park was divided up into sections, with varying levels of difficulty, ranging from a children's area, to one that was said to only be for those who were extremely confident in their abilities. Ranma had wanted to head straight for the advanced course, though, once they entered the 'starting house', or office, they found that they were required to go through a 'tutorial course' first. He was not thrilled about being required to wear the harness, but allowed himself to be placated by Kasumi's reassurances that it would still be fun.

After filling out the waver forms, for Ranma, he waited rather patiently for them to explain how the harnesses worked and went over the rules of the park. They did not have to worry about the age restrictions and were certainly not going to be smoking! Though Kasumi was a bit disappointed when they made them tie their loose hair up, so instead, she had Ranma braid her hair much like his own. "Look, now we match! Is it not cute?"

Looking at the braid falling over her shoulder, he had to agree. "Yeah, it looks pretty good on ya."

Blushing, she shied away. "Thank you, Anata."

"Excuse me, honored guest?"

"Yes?" Kasumi turned to look at the expectant employee.

"It is generally recommended that customers who are wearing items such as a dress or a yukata be given the option to change into something that is easier to move in while wearing. Would you like for me to bring you a set?"

"Oh, oh my, that might be wise... What do you think, Darling-kun?"

"Well, we're gonna be climbin' an' stuff, ya don't want nobody ta be able ta ...ya know, SEE anythin'."

"Oh my, do you think someone would try to do that?"

"I know way too many that would... but even if they ain't, if yer climbin', ya just don't know, an' it's better if ya can move more freely."

"Oh my! I never thought of that. I suppose I should change then."

"Okay! If you will follow me, I will show you what we have available."

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Ranma waited near the changing rooms, standing guard as he watched out for any voyeurs who might dare to attempt ogling Kasumi ...or any of the other women who were changing at the time. While he did not figure he had much to worry about at the moment, life in Nerima had made him paranoid and he had still could not shake the occasional feeling of being watched as they walked around town, so he was not willing to take any chances with someone like Kasumi at risk. Most anyone else he knew could mostly take care of themselves, but Kasumi was a delicate flower, and she was so nice that she might even let them peep, just to not be rude to the scopophiliac!

Speak of the angel, he heard her voice behind him. "Oh my, this is rather ..revealing."

"Huh? Are ya okay?" His head turned toward the soft voice.

"Oh, yes, I suppose I am fine, it is just... Oh fuuu..." Opening the door just a crack, she quickly pulled Ranma inside the changing room with her.

Not knowing what to expect, he slammed his eyes closed as he was suddenly relocated. "Ka-Ka-Kasumi-chan, what's th' matter?"

"You are allowed to look at me, even if I were not dressed, we are 'married', remember?"

In hushed tones, he whispered back, "Yeah, but not really..."

"That is okay, I do not mind ...if it is you." Continuing the hushed voices, she moved in closer to him. "While I cannot speak for everyone, I know that Shampoo-chan does not mind you looking either. When you do marry for real, you will need to be able to look at your wife."

"Yeah, but-..."

"Meh!" She tabbed his nose as she chided him in a hushed tone. "Remember, this is training."

"Right, training..."

"You know, this is the first time I have ever given a boy bridal training... er, groom training, well I suppose either would be fine to call it for you."

"Not really ...I don't wanna be anyone's bride!"

"Not even mine?"

"...Isn't bein' yer husband enough?"

"...Most of the time." She stuck her tongue out at him.

"What'd ya mean?"

"...Oh, I do not know, sometimes it might be nice to have a cute 'girlfriend' too." Kasumi gently caressed his cheek with a light giggle, hoping to calm his nerves but with little effect. "Please, open your eyes, you are the only one I can trust to tell me if this looks okay on me. I feel like I am simply too old for this outfit."

Ranma reluctantly opened his eyes, as they hesitantly panned from her feet to her face, blushing as he took in the look of her outfit. The rolled up cuffs of the khaki shorts rode rather high on her thighs, and the mascot and logo of the park on the tanktop certainly called attention to her ample assets. His eyes had almost bugged out when he saw her plunging neckline and generous cleavage, averting his gaze so quickly that he barely even noticed the tan handkerchief tied around her neck.

"So ...what do you think?"

"Gak!"

"That bad?"

"No, I don't! I mean, it ain't! Ya look ...amazin', but I'm surprised ya picked that shirt..."

"They said that none of the ones with sleeves were in my size, and the character on this one is just so cute! What do you think?"

"At least it ain't a cat..." Ranma was finding it difficult to avert his eyes, despite his best efforts.

"What?" Not only was he whispering, but he was mumbling on top of it, and she had difficulty making out what he had said.

"I, I really don't think anyone'll notice it that much." Ranma's eyes were bugging out a little as he tried to force himself to blink.

"Well, I suppose I do not really expect anyone else would care what is on my chest." She placed her hand upon his shoulders before intertwining her fingers behind his neck, pulling him a bit closer and preventing him from looking away. "There is only one person I want to notice. So, do YOU think it looks okay?"

"Yeah, too good. Yer gonna have ta be beatin' off guys left an' right..."

"Oh my!" Fuzzy memories of what she had done the night before flooded back into her brain, causing her to blush. "Wha- whatever could you mean ...Honey? Tee Hee." She covered her mouth with her hand as she nervously giggled.

"I mean yer gonna have ta watch out fer pushy guys, like Kuno, er th' old pervert."

"But Darling-kun, there is only one guy I am supposed to watch on this trip." And for some reason, she was feeling no small amount of satisfaction that he was currently gazing at her in return.

"That's fine, I'll watch out for ya. Ain't no perverts gonna get ya while I'm around!"

His nonplussed answer was both vexing and endearing to her at the same time, though mostly it still impressed her how protective he could be. He may not have been the older 'father figure' she had always thought she wanted, however she found herself thinking that if things had turned out differently, being with him might not have been such a bad thing. While it was certainly too late now, she almost wished she had taken them up on the marriage arrangement on that day that seemed so long ago to her now. "Thank you Anata, I always feel so safe when I am around you. Do you know what I mean?"

"Huh? Yeah, kind a'..." He could not deny that he felt far less on edge when Kasumi was around, she always helped to keep him calm, in a strange way, it reminded him of the old woman who used to help him as a boy ...except not old, and she smelled nice ...like lavender. He found it so relaxing that before he realized it, he had fallen into her embrace and was returning it with each of their heads resting upon the other's shoulder.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

As the flustered couple exited the changing stall, they saw the attendant looking around confused. "Ah, there you are, we thought that you might have left. Might I add that while we completely understand your situation, we do try to discourage you from doing any hanky-panky in our changing rooms... Please try to save that for when you find yourselves alone in the woods." The attendant winked at the embarrassed couple, leading them out of the building.

As they passed the other men waiting on their other-halves, some of them gave Ranma an approving thumbs-up, while the others tried to ogle Kasumi. That was until they saw the evil glare they received from him in response and they all suddenly found something FAR more interesting in the opposite direction, not wanting to invoke the wrath of that 'demon'. Seeing that his intimidation worked, Ranma relaxed as he followed them toward what they called the 'briefing area'.

Ranma paid little attention to anything they showed him beyond how to attach the rope harness, he was not concerned with falling, but there were many 'zip lines' that they were to ride from one course to the next, and they insisted that it was fun. He found himself far more concerned with who was looking at Kasumi and in what way, including himself. This was the part that surprised him the most. Seeing other men starting at her was something he expected, however he was just finding it so difficult to tear his own eyes away from her revealing outfit. Considering the fact that he had seen her nude on many occasions now, he could not figure out why that was the case.

Kasumi was finding it slightly difficult to follow every point their instructor was trying to make, she kept feeling eyes upon her and when she would glance up, Ranma would be looking at her. For some reason she was finding that thought particularly distracting, and she could not discern if it was due to something being wrong with her or her outfit, or if there was some 'other' reason for it. Blushing a bit at the thought of the later, she began looking for what could be wrong.

Bothered by someone neglecting to his instructions, the young man wanted to see if he could help speed up the process, hoping not to have to repeat himself 'too' often with this group. "Excuse me ma'am, is there something wrong?"

"Oh my, I do not know... is there?" Kasumi continued to look herself over, hoping to find the problem.

"Other than you not paying attention to what I am trying to explain to you, I cannot see anything, but this is important. It could save your life!"

"Oh my! Well, that is why I have this guy." Kasumi beamed a smile at an embarrassed Ranma.

"Yes, well, can your husband save you from a fifteen meter drop?"

"Quite easily." The young man was shocked by her relaxed response.

"I'd still rather ya not risk it 'til ya can make th' jump yerself."

Ranma casual reaction gave the instructor pause to consider their sanity. "You WHAT?"

"But, if I did that..." Suddenly, she felt a loss, but wondered if it was fair to Ranma to make him carry her so often...

"Well, it ain't fer everyone, but with how quickly yer learnin', I'm sure ya'll pick it up in no time."

"You think so?" Kasumi looked excited for a moment, before the worry started to show through.

"Hey, ya ain't gotta worry, I'm here fer ya, 'til ya do."

"But, how can anyone jump THAT high?" This conversation had gone far off the rails for the 'mere mortal' who was listening in upon it.

"Ain't ya never heard ya Bruce Lee?"

"Yeah, but that's just special effects... Isn't it?"

Ranma was glad that he had not been drinking anything or he may well have choked on it. "Believe what ya want," Holding up the harness they had given him, he chuckled. "...but I don't need this fer nuthin' but that slide yer talkin' about."

"Well, you have signed your wavers, so I am not going to stop you, but I cannot stress enough how dangerous this can be. One wrong step and you will fall!"

"Yeah, yeah..." Waving his hand, Ranma casually dismissed the threat.

"There is no need to be rude, Honey." Kasumi gave him a stern look.

"Sorry, I didn't mean ta." Ranma bowed to the employee, not wanting to offend the guy who was just doing his job.

"It's not that, you could get hurt!"

"Ya ain't gotta worry about that."

"Oh yes, my Anata can jump over tall buildings in a single bound."

"More powerful than a locomotive?" The incredulous young man joked about the ridiculous claims.

"Humph. Probably." Ranma just crossed his arms, looking defiant.

"Next you're going to tell me you're 'bulletproof' too?"

"I don't know, ain't never fought nobody weak enough ta need ta use a gun before... Even Gosunkugi was more a' a man then that. Probably ain't no worse 'en those vacuum blades a' Ryu's, er th' shrapnel from th' breakin' point though."

The attendant did not exactly understand what his customer was saying, but hoped his bosses would forgive him if they got hurt on his watch, he was trying his best! He offered a short prayer to the gods to look over them while they were there, and did his best to continue his explanation.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Their practice run down the demonstration obstacle had gone uneventfully, even Ranma had listened to Kasumi and calmly followed the instructions until they had finished the slide. It had been short, but he did enjoy it, it reminded him of some of the early training exercises his father had put him through as a child, and it really took him back.

Kasumi saw Ranma smiling as he waited for her at the bottom of the zip line, and she could not help but feel warm and fuzzy inside. Despite the ride not being scary at all, she still felt a bit of relief that he was there, just in case, ready to lend a hand to help her stand after her slightly awkward landing. "Why thank you 'my love', you are such a gentleman."

Blushing at the pet-name, Ranma was surprised when she almost leapt into his arms as he pulled her to her feet. However, he was more shocked when she whispered softly into his ear. "While we are in public, acting like this, maybe you should call me 'kanai', what do you think?"

"Kanai?" Ranma did not particularly care for the connotations of that word, to him it implied that she should remain in the house, and never come out, which bothered him. It reminded him too much of something his father would say, and he thought she had spent far too much time 'inside the house' already in her young life.

She had always imagined being called that, just like her own mother, but the reality of it was so much more powerful than she had expected.

"...I don't know."

Blushing, Kasumi considered the alternatives. "Perhaps you could try 'tsuma', or ...'aisai'?" She had to bury her face in his chest as she said that last one, 'beloved wife' might be too much...

'Tsuma' reminded Ranma too much of something to be served with sashimi, and he did not want to consider Kasumi as a 'garnish', so he went with his final choice. "Okay ...Aisai." He was not familiar with the word, but if she had chosen it, then it was probably something nice.

"Oh my!" Kasumi had to bury her face even deeper into his chest, that had been the LAST thing she had expected, and her heart did not know how to take it. It was beating so quickly that she could feel it all the way to her toes as they pulsed.

"Ka- Aisai, ya okay?"

"Doki-doki?" Kasumi could still hear naught but her own heartbeat in her ears.

Trying to hurry the pair along, the attendant quietly tried to interject. "Sumimasen, I am terribly sorry, but if you would not mind, we has someone waiting for you to move so that they can slide. If you wish, you can follow me to the next course. Would you prefer I take you to the beginner courses or-."

Ranma did not even let the fellow finish, his mind already more than made. "Advanced!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi could finally hear again by the time they reached the rope ladder, but was unable to let go of Ranma's arm. Between her still rapid heartbeat, and the vibrations coming from elsewhere in her body, she was less than steady on her feet. If only she had thought to turn it off in the changing room...

Seeing that Kasumi was still finding it difficult to walk, and with how slowly their 'guide' was climbing the ladder, Ranma decided he was tired of waiting. Patience was never his strong suit, especially not when there was training to do.

Kasumi's heart started to beat faster again as Ranma hefted her into his arms before leaping to the upper platform so many meters above their heads. Even as he set her down, and her feet touched the wooden planks below, she could not let go of him.

So preoccupied with their own situations, neither of them noticed the young man's jaw drop as he almost fell off of the ladder.

Noticing that the woman in his arms was shaking a bit, his concern quickly grew. "Ya okay ...Aisai?"

This term of endearment was still affecting her more than she would have thought, and she started to wonder if she should have requested he do it sooner, as to give her more time to adjust, though it was not as if she had planned any of this in the first place. "Ye- yes, Love. I- just need a minute."

"Wait, yer ...afraid a' heights, aren't ya?"

"Oh no, no, no, I am just ...excited, yes. I just need a moment, is that okay?"

Knowing what it was like to be ashamed to admit a fear, he tried to comfort her. "Huh, yeah, sure, it ain't no problem. Whatever ya need, I'm here fer ya."

"Thank you, Darling-kun." Kasumi continued to enjoy the comfort of being held as they waited on their guide to finish the climb, and she found that even as her nerves started to settle, she did not really want to let go of him. It was not fear, she knew that much, but she could not place the emotion that was keeping her there. It reminded her of her maternal instinct, like when her sisters would get hurt and she had to care for them, but this was different, she was not taking care of anyone, nor was anyone hurting, and yet she still wanted to stay wrapped in his embrace. Wait ...no, continue holding him, yes, that was her intention, this was about him, not her! She was not doing this for her own sake, it was all for Ranma!

Finally making it to the top, the park employee still could not believe what he had seen! "What? Are you like one of those Dragon Ball guys? You can fly too?"

"Flying? What're ya, stupid? Humans can't really fly, ya know? That's just a cartoon!"

"Then how'd you get up here?" If that wasn't flying, he was not sure what he had just seen!

"I just jumped, ain't nuthin' fancy."

"People can't normally jump over trees either..."

"Meh, it's an old ninja trick. Helps ta start early?"

"You're a ninja? Shouldn't you be hiding your face then?"

"Yes, and now that ya figured out who I am, I'm gonna have ta kill ya... Muahaha..."

"WHAT?" The young man was starting to wonder if he could break his fall enough by holding onto the rope ladder, or if it would just break his fingers trying...

"Hey, I'm just kiddin', I ain't no ninja, just a regular old martial artist."

"I find that difficult to believe..."

"No, really, just a martial artist, ya know, protect the weak an' all that?"

"I've known a LOT of martial artists in my life, some much older than any of us, and none of them could do anything like that!" His grandfather might have been spry of a man of his years, be he could not imagine him EVER jumping over a person, never mind a tree!

Still holding onto Kasumi, he shrugged. "Meh, each school has their own specialties, mine happens to specialize in mid-air combat. It ain't no big deal..."

"No, it really is!"

"Ya just gotta train like yer life depends on it."

"Yeah, right..."

Hoping to change the subject to something that would make the other lad more comfortable, Kasumi decided to ask the boy about himself. "What was your name? Is this a family business?"

"Me? I'm, Saitama, and naw, I am just doing this to earn money for school next year ...in case I get a date."

"Do not worry, I am certain that if you keep working hard, some nice girl will notice you. Just when you least expect it, the right person will fall into your life, just do not be afraid to act when the time comes, or you may end up regretting it. Just take better care of your hair, girls like it when you keep it neat, not messy."

The self-conscious young man ran his fingers through his spiky hair. "Thank you, it's just, you know, hard to keep neat here, what with all the wind, climbing, and all..."

"Yes, I understand. However, you never know when you might meet someone who is perfect for you." Without realizing it, she squeezed Ranma more tightly to emphasize her point.

"Ya want me ta go first, ta show ya how it's done, er ya want ta go first, so I can watch ya from behind?" Seeing her shyly shake her head and then nod at his second suggestion, he nodded back in agreement. "'Kay, I'll be right here if ya need me."

After they checked to make certain that her harness was properly attached, Kasumi finally looked forward toward the current obstacle as she tried not to think about anyone 'watching her behind'. Before her lay out meter long logs that were hanging horizontally, supported by ropes tied to each end with only a short gap between them. Her balance was not so bad that she had much trouble with the first log, it was not until she needed to move to the next that she started to worry. Luckily, she was able to hold onto the cable that held her harness as she tried to cross the small divide.

"Ganbatte, Aisai-chan!"

After blushing slightly at being called his 'beloved wife' along with the honorific, Kasumi was emboldened by his shout of encouragement, and managed to make it to the other side, feeling a bit proud of herself. "Yatta!" As she turned to wave at Ranma, she wanted to cheer him on as well, but wondered if he would find it insulting... Instead, she chose to simply assume that if she could make it, then he would have no trouble at all. "Show us what you can do, Anata!"

Smiling proudly, he waved back, glad that she had made it rather easily and was not hurt. He looked it over, wondering what he should do, he could easily just hop across, but figured that would defeat the point. Tucking the strap in so that it would NOT get caught on anything, Ranma stepped forward...

"WAIT!" The young man called out to him, causing the martial artist to hesitate.

"What?"

"Are you SURE you don't want to use the harness after seeing the trouble your wife had?"

"But if I do that, then I'd be able ta rely on th' harness, an' where's th' challenge in that?"

"Well, maybe, but..."

"Aw, come on, this is still easy, you ever try walkin' on bamboo poles?"

"Well ...noooo, but-..."

"All right then." Without further hesitation, Ranma stepped out onto the piece of timber and casually walked along its length, with only a short hop to go from one log to the next. "Too easy. Now if only someone was attackin' me when I'm doin' it... Maybe one a' ya could swing a stick, er throw rocks er somethin'?"

Saitama's look of horror gave him pause. "NO! PLEASE! Someone might be walking underneath!"

"Meh, it was just a thought. I was only tryin' ta make it more fun, I mean I could a' done that on my hands! ...Hey, there's an idea!"

Just as their young guide was about to hook his own harness to the cable and follow them, he saw Ranma was suddenly standing next to him again. "What, what just happened?"

"Huh? Oh, I just wanted to try one more time..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi looked ahead at the obstacle before her, trying to figure out how she was going to manage to get across the gap. "Would this not be easier if we were to use our hands instead?"

"Well, I suppose so, but getting up on the other side can be hard like that, and the safety cord will not reach that far..."

"Aw, but where's th' fun in that? That's too easy!" Ranma scoffed at the idea of that being a challenge.

"Easy? I suppose for you it would be, but I still need quite a bit more training before I could say that..." Kasumi looked back at the rings hanging from the ropes that filled the space between her and the next platform. "But-..."

"It just requires a light step, an' ya just gotta move fast." Quickly hopping from ring to ring, Ranma crossed, barely disturbing any of them. He moved so smoothly, it was almost as if he were incorporeal. "See, no sweat."

"Oh my." Kasumi found herself appreciating the ease with which her 'husband' navigated the divide, he really was a nimble fellow. She was suddenly curious as to how good Ranma might be as a dancing partner... She never had been given the opportunity to go to a dance when she was younger, and she had always secretly been a bit jealous of her friends in that regard. While she did not regret her choice in giving up her social and school life for her family's sake, there were still times in which she wished she could have had a more normal childhood, filled with normal activities for normal teens.

Ranma promptly crossed back over, landing by Kasumi's side. "Ya ready?"

"Oh, I- I-..." Looking up from the rings, she glanced into his eyes and was moved by the innocent elation expression staring back at her. "I guess?" Cautiously, she looked back toward the obstacle as Ranma helped her to attach her safety harness.

"There ya go, all set. Ya need me ta do anything?"

"No, no, I think I am all right... Just ...please, catch me if I fall."

"Don't ya worry, I'd never let ya get hurt, Kasumi-chan. If ya fall, I'll be down there ta catch ya, I promise."

His tone was so innocent and earnest that she was instantly reassured. "Thank you Darling, I know you are always there for me when I need you. Now, just one more thing ...for luck." Throwing her arms around him, she blushed as she kissed him lightly on the cheek.

Though he had begun to grow accustomed to the affection to some degree, it was still embarrassing, and these public displays of affection were even more so. His face reddened as he stood there, waiting for Kasumi to let go of him, and step off of the platform.

With renewed confidence, the young woman grabbed the first rope, and carefully placed her foot into the loop. This went more or less smoothly, that was until she went to move her other foot. The moment she tried to shift her weight from the platform to the rope, she almost spun out of control and it was only the harness that held her in place. "Oh my!"

Before the other man could react, Ranma was by her side, steadying her. "It's okay, I got ya."

Kasumi found herself being supported by two strong hands on her waist, and after a moment of lightheadedness, she managed to get her other foot into the awaiting circlet. "Thank you again, Darling-kun. What would I ever do without you?"

"Uh, I don't know, have a normal life maybe?"

"You saw my life before, was it what you would call 'normal'?"

"Compared to mine?"

"You make a good point... I am sorr-..."

"Hey! It ain't yer fault! But yer right, maybe it only seemed 'normal' ta me, it ain't like I got any idea, anyone who lived in a house seemed 'normal' ta me. Heh! I guess I should be th' one ta say 'sorry', huh?"

"No, no, you are not to blame either. I am much happier now."

"I guess that's why you two are perfect for each other, right?" The hint of jealousy in his voice was lost on the distracted couple.

Having forgotten that they had an audience, the pair blushed, and quickly tried to get back to what they had been doing. Ranma kept his hands on her hips to help keep her balance as she managed to get her first foot into the second ring. "Oh my, I did it!"

"See, it ain't so bad... Now ya just gotta keep doin' it 'til yer there!"

The young guide had a troubling image flash through his mind as he pictured the two of them together. "How often you have to say it like that?"

"Huh? What do ya mean?"

Afraid he might get pummeled if he tried to explain what he had just imagined, Saitama quickly tried to change the subject. "Um, I just mean, do you do stuff like this often?"

"Oh, well I'm always trainin', but Kasumi-chan just started doin' martial arts again recently, an' this is th' first time we ever did anything like this together."

Happy that his distraction worked, he decided to go with it. "How long have you been training then?"

"Oh, uh, pretty much since I was born, almost every memory I got is a' trainin'."

"Do you think-...?"

Lightly slapping the young man on the back, Ranma chuckled. "Hey man, it ain't never too late ta start ya know, an' th' harder ya work, th' stronger ya can get, ya know? That's all there is to it."

"Well, that does make sense..."

"Oh my!"

Before their guide could even blink, Ranma was back behind Kasumi, stopping her from spinning, and helping her back into the foot straps, only then noticing that something had fallen to the ground far below. "Didja drop somethin'?"

Kasumi finally realized what she was missing, and could not believe that it had managed to work free during her flailing. "Oh no, oh my, I-...!"

"Don't worry, I'll get it!" Casually, Ranma let go and sdropped straight down, vanishing through the foliage to the sound of their guide screaming. Expanding his senses, he searched for anything that resonated with Kasumi's distinct aura. He had never knew anyone whose aura stood out to him so much, it was like gazing into the heavens, and sometimes he felt that if he looked too closely, he might go blind. It may have changed over the last several months, it was brighter, ands he liked to think it was because she was no longer being forced to do all of the housework, and was able to pursue other interests, such as the training they had been doing together. He knew it was far more than her simply improving, she had been expanding her interests, and he was proud to have been able to play even a small part in that. He only wished that he could do more for her, if anyone deserved to have a happy and fulfilling life, it was Kasumi!

Gently landing in among the flora, he picked up the small item his senses had located for him, wondering why it was making a noise. The low buzzing combined with the dampness of its slick surface made it difficult to keep his grip upon it. He wiped it off before shoving it into his pocket, wondering why the vibrations made him feel a bit funny. With a mighty leap, he launched himself into the air, looking for the more sturdy branches to help him return to his awaiting companion.

"Oh my, Husband, you are back so quickly..."

"I'm sorry, but I think this might be broken, it's makin' a funny noise, and vibratin' pretty bad."

"What? Oh... Oh my, no, it is not-..." Knowing her remote had a limited range, she knew that it would not work until he had returned, and had not expected him to locate it so soon. She fumbled in her pocket, doing her best to turn off the device with much haste.

Feeling the reverberations ceasing in his pocket, he got even more worried. "Kuso! I guess it really is broke, now it ain't even makin' any noise. As he pulled it from his pocket, he looked at the words inscribed upon it. "...What's this, 'mini magic wand'? When'd ya learn magic? Ya ain't secretly a magical girl, are ya?"

Quickly snatching it out of his hands, she shoved it into her pocket before whispering into his ear, while at the same time trying to ignore the strange looks they were getting from their guide. "It is for ...uuum, massaging."

Slightly bothered by the idea that he could be out performed by a machine, he leaned in to whisper into her ear. "Well, ya know, all ya gotta do is ask... I know what it's like after a workout, an' I'm a lot better 'an any old 'toy'."

Kasumi blushed even harder, not exactly certain how to explain how that might not be the best of ideas, even though she had a certain feeling that he was absolutely correct. "Well, you see... It was a, ...um, 'gift' from your mother, yes, yes. So, I could not refuse..."

Not entirely picking up on her attempted discretion, Ranma wondered how such a small thing could really be worth using, perhaps is just a 'travel sized' version... "Huh... Well, maybe ya can show me how it works later then, if it's so good."

A grin that would have looked far more at home on her younger sister Nabiki crossed her lips, and she blushed thinking about what that could entail. "Maybe I will, maybe I will..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

After a quick lunch at one of the food carts, the trio moved on to the next area, their guide still unable to believe his eyes. "How can anyone eat that much, or that fast?"

"Oh? Well my husband used to have worse table manners, back when father in-law still lived with us. Trust me, this is a huge improvement."

"Like an animal, eh?"

"You have absolutely NO idea."

The expression upon Kasumi's face did nothing to calm the growing jealousy within him, though he was fairly certain that there was not a thing he could do about it, not even if he started training that day... Falling silent as he followed them to the next attraction, he found his eyes lingering, and his resolve strengthening. He would start working out at least a bit every day, not enough to kill himself, but at least enough to attract a beautiful woman like that. It was not as if he was trying to become a superhuman fighting machine, he just wanted a girlfriend! ...And a nice, steady income. He figured for him to become as skilled as this guy, he would not have time for much of anything else in his life. He liked helping people, but it was not as if he was planning to become a hero or anything... "Oh, um, so here we come to what we in the park like to call the 'Blocks of DoOoOom'!"

"Oh my."

His interest piqued, Ranma looked on curiously. "An' howz that work?"

"You will see ...once we get to the top. MuAhahahahaha! ...Sorry, we are really supposed to play up the danger on these later courses."

Not hesitating for a moment, Ranma scooped Kasumi into his arms, and quickly hopped up the rope ladder, skipping all save a few rungs.

Halfway up the ladder, Saitama still could not believe his own eyes as they 'flew' passed him, and almost fell as he leaned back to watch them land on the wooden platform far above him. "Sugoi!"

Ranma gently let Kasumi down to stand on her own feet, though her arms did not move from around his neck. "There ya are, Aisai-chan."

"Oh my, thank you, Darling-kun. However, do you not think it would be better training if I were to climb the ladder myself?"

"Oh, well, I was just tryin' ta help, but I suppose so... Did ya want me ta stop?"

"No! I ...did not say THAT. I mean, you do not need to 'stop', that is to say, it is very sweet of you to think of helping me..." Kasumi did not like putting him out, nor was she generally a fan of public displays, however, she was finding it difficult to deny how much she enjoyed being held in that way, and they WERE on vacation. ...Not to mention that it DID help with his conditioning, did it not? It was partly her duty to help make up for her family's mistake, supporting the boy as he grew more accustomed to being close to women, and she took solace in the fact that they were not in a crowded area.

Finally making it to the top of the ladder, Saitama saw what appeared to be a loving couple in a close embrace, and it both warmed his heart and his loins. "Whoa, I wonder how long that's gonna last? ...Though I do wish someone would do that with me." The young man had mumbled under his breath, not really wanting to interrupt, even if he was a bit jealous. "We do have a nice love hotel not far from here, you know?"

"Oh my! That is not, I mean, it is, but not like that..." Kasumi wanted to deny the idea that they were doing anything that required such a hotel, however as they were pretending to be a married couple, which made it difficult.

Ranma chuckled at how flustered his companion had gotten. "Now ya know how I usually feel. Guess with our friend here, we should probably move on ta th' next event. What'd ya think, 'Honey'?"

Happy to change the subject, Kasumi ignored the pet-name, and turned toward the awaiting obstacle. Aside from the familiar safety cable, there were two lengths of rope, each of them having wooden blocks 'beaded' into them at regular spacing. Each side staggered from the other for a more natural stepping progression, however, it looked like anything but a 'natural' stroll. To most people, the natural idea would be not to look down, though she was afraid that she would have trouble with her footing, and the idea of stumbling, even with the harness and Ranma to back her up, was not particularly appealing. "Oh my..."

"Ganbatte, Aisai-chan!"

Hearing him cheer for her raised her spirits, but she was uncertain how to proceed. "Do you have any advice?"

"Well, fer me, th' faster I go, th' easier it gets, can't give 'em a chance ta even know yer there."

An image of herself dressed as a cute, pink ninja speed hopping across the breach flashed through her mind. "Oh my..."

"Don't worry, Kasumi-chan, just take it easy, an' don't stress nuthin'. Ya just gotta put one foot in front a' th' other. If ya have any problems, ya can always use the ropes between the blocks, they ain't gonna spin much on ya." Stepping up behind her, Ranma pointed toward the 'bridge'. "Look, there's sections a' rope every so often ta keep 'em from swayin' too far fer ya. Is there anything I can do ta help ya?"

"You already are, just do not allow me to fall, please." As she turned her head to try and give him a pleading smile, their lips almost touched. "Oh my!" Afraid of what their guide might think of them, and their public displays of affection, she jumped back, almost falling off of the platform.

Without thinking, Ranma reached out, wrapping his arms around her waist, and preventing her from taking a very nasty tumble. "Hey, ya gotta at least wait 'til yer hooked onta th' safety line, before ya go jumpin' off. This ain't th' way ta learn roof hoppin'." Trying to reassure her with his grin, he pulled her away from the edge.

Kasumi's wide eyes took several moment to blink before she finally gasped, realizing what had almost just happened. "Thank you, Goshujin-sama! You saved me yet again..."

"Shimata!" Saitama could not believe what had almost happened right before his eyes, himself thankful for the other man's quick reflexes. Within an instant, he was on his knees, prostrating himself before the recovering couple. "Please, do not worry about me, this place is not that public, kiss all you like! It's not worth risking your life over! I won't even look! I'll just be down here when you need me..."

"Hey, ya ain't gotta do that, it ain't like we were gonna-..."

A sudden feeling came over her, she was not certain what it wasnor where it had originated, quite possibly how closely she had just come to death, but her impulsive side took control with a sardonic smile that would have done Nabiki proud. "But we could... We DO have permission, do we not ...my hero?" With a silent apology to Shampoo in her mind, she threw her arms back around his neck, guiding him so that his back was against the trunk of the tree before locking their lips together.

"MurfphfuMMmmmmm..." Ranma's resistance faded quickly, even if his danger sense did not...

Seeing a bit of the activity out of the corner of his eye, the young man rethought his possible priorities. 'I guess the life of a hero's not the worst way to go after all... This job's still a pretty good workout, but maybe if I drop my club, I can start training by running here every day after school. It's not as if the manga club is going to help me get dates, some of those guys have never even talked to a girl!'

"Oh, hey man, sorry about that, ya know how women can be, right?"

Looking up, Saitama accepted Ranma's hand to stand, a bit frustrated at the fact that he did not, in fact, 'know how women were', not that his fragile ego would allow him to admit it. "Heh. Yeah, doesn't everyone?"

The feeling of dread kept closing in on Ranma, though he had not been able to pinpoint where it originated, and he did not want to disappoint Kasumi, so he tried to push the feeling into the background. "So, let's get ya hooked up ta th' thing, 'fore ya fall fer real."

Taking a moment longer to recover from her near-death experience, Kasumi finally realized what she had just done, and felt surprisingly less bothered by it than she would have expected. Perhaps she was also had started to grow accustomed to this play acting they were doing, she did have to admit that it had been rather fun, or it could have been simply her instinctive gratitude for Ranma saving her yet again, but either way, she did not regret her actions in the slightest. "Yes, thank you, Anata, for always looking out for me."

Kasumi tried to relax as Ranma helped attach her safety harness, but she could not quell the shudders that filled her as his strong hands brushed her waist and hips, she had to fight off the desire to lean back into him, having him hold her forever. She was starting to think that perhaps she had taken this 'role playing game' too far, however she was nothing if not dedicated and true to her word, so she vowed to see this through, no matter what happened! She resisted the urge to grab his arms from behind her and wrap them around herself, instead, turning her attention back toward the current obstacle. "Oh my..."

"Hey, don't ya worry, I know ya can do it, an' I'll be right behind ya if ya need me. Ya ain't got nuthin' ta be afraid a' here. Ya trust me, don't ya?"

"More than anyone..." Glancing up from the wooden blocks, she caught Ranma's gaze, and could not look away.

"Then show me what ya can do."

Somehow she found his relaxed grin comforting, and with a newfound reassurance she faced off against her foe with determination. Carefully, she reached out with her first foot, daintily placing it upon the first hexahedron, only to have to rotate, causing her foot to slip off of it. "Oh!"

Once again, she found Ranma's strong arms wrapped around her as he lifted her back onto the safety of the platform. "Myyyy..."

"Ya gotta make sure ya hit the center of the block, if ya lean too far ta either side ...well, that happens."

Trying to be helpful, the guild tried to offer his advice. "Most people hold onto the cable with their hands..."

Kasumi had intended to do just that, though she had assumed she could have gotten one step before she would have needed the extra stability ...she was sorely disappointed in herself. Perhaps she needed to spend more time doing the various kata Ranma suggested, and less time simply meditating... With all of her years of dancing around the house, she had always thought she had a fairly well honed sense of equilibrium, but she was starting to realize how woefully inadequate her agility was in comparison. "Anata? No matter what I say at the time, make certain that I wake up to join you for your morning practice from tomorrow forward."

"Are ya sure? I get up pretty early..."

"I am aware of that, however it is not too much earlier than I usually awaken, and it seems that I am even further behind than I first thought..."

"Hey, it ain't like ya gotta worry er nuthin', I told ya, I'd always protect ya."

"As nice as it is, even as my 'husband', you cannot always be by my side, doing everything for me. I need to be able to do some things on my own as well. I will grow weaker if I do not keep active."

"I ain't sayin' that, I just mean, ya ain't gotta push yerself, I'll be there, wherever ya need me, ya can go at yer own pace."

With that, her face lit up with delight. "Oh goodie! Let us begin tomorrow then, okay?" She thought it was rather kind of Ranma to allow her to take breaks whenever she felt like it, not that she wanted special treatment. "However, I do not want you to go easy on me. You need to give me a real workout, okay?"

Kasumi practically bounced in her joy, reminding Ranma a bit of Shampoo in her excitement. "Right, but ...wait, that's not what I-." Realizing that he had been talked into a corner, he relented. "Fine, but fer now, ya oughta calm down, an' focus on th' task at hand." Nodding toward the nominal 'bridge', he tried to change the subject. "Ya ready?"

"Oh, um, yes, I-, I think that I am..." With her fresh respect for the course laid out before her, Kasumi took hold of the cable as she cautiously stepped out onto the first block again with much more success. With her confidence growing, she gingerly moved her second foot while holding onto the safety cable for dear life. "Ara, ara, ara..."

"There ya go, Aisai-chan! Ganbatte!"

Progress was slow but steady as Ranma cheered her on, step by step and block by block, with short rests in between to catch her breath, and before long, she had made it passed the half-way point. As she turned to wave, she heard the sound of rustling leaves and chittering... Before she knew it, seemingly hundreds of birds and rodents were all around her, and Ranma was already by her side, swinging around her place on the obstacle somehow without disturbing her balance in the slightest, shooing off any of the critters that got close.

Annoyed by their timing more than anything, Ranma scooped her into his arms before fumbling with the clasp on her harness. "Let's get ya out a' here, 'Sumi-chan. This ain't safe!"

As she allowed Ranma to manhandle her and threw her arms around his neck, she had to blink several times as what she thought was the same squirrel from before appear in her line of sight, and was her mind playing tricks on her, or did it seem to have weapons and warpaint? "Oh my..."

"Ya ain't got any more nuts on ya, do ya?"

They had thrown all of her 'supplies' out as a distraction last time, so she shyly shook her head. "I am sorry..."

"Damn! I thought that might be why they're still after ya... That's one smart squirrel..." As Ranma hopped over the trees, he looked for the office building. "Hey! That gives me an idea..."

Dropping to the ground, he put Kasumi inside of a phonebooth and closed the door, before he turned to face their lead pursuer. "Let's see if this works." Reaching into his surprisingly deep pockets, he pulled out a thermos, splashing the squirrel with its contents.

Both of them held their breath as they waited to see what effect it might have, and they did not have long to wait. After only a moment, the berry juice started to run, and the embarrassed and frustrated rodent ran off into the woods.

"Well, that didn't go th' way I expected..." Ranma stood there, scratching his head. "I couldn't a' sworn..."

Opening the door, Kasumi threw her arms around Ranma's neck again, looking deeply into his eyes. "Once again, you saved little old me, Goshujin-sama, you are my hero..." Just as she was about to place her lips upon his, they both turned their head toward the sound of the rest of the forest critters breaking through the trees.

Not allowing Ranma to move, Kasumi scowled their way with a chiding, "Fuuuu...", clearly displeased by the interruption, about to pull him back into the protection of the glass booth behind her.

Neither of them could believe their eyes as the entire mob turned tail and fled back into the grove.

Kasumi's mood quickly shifted to something much more pleasant, yet just as unnatural on her beauteous features. "Oh my, I suppose I get to reward my hero after all..."

Ranma could not mount any defense against being lured into the awaiting trap of the booth...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi was glad to have finally gotten the rest of her souvenirs packed and ready to go home, though she had been surprised by how many Ranma had gotten, she had no idea that he liked eggs so much! The problem she faced now was that unless she wanted to buy a new one for the ride home, she only had two options, either she could wear her stained dress home, or she would have to wear one of the skimpy, silk Chinese dresses that somehow managed to find their way into her luggage. Although, considering the place their host had suggested to her, there really was no choice at all, she needed to look 'nice'.

This was how she found herself, with the okami's help, back into a light pink and blue floral dress, matching the ones she had placed in her hair. As she returned to the lobby, she noticed Ranma look stunned for a moment, and she worried if something might have happened to him. "Is something the matter Darling-kun, or do I just look that silly? I knew this was a bad idea..."

"No, it's just that, ya look ...so ...great, an' I just ain't too good with talkin' 'bout this stuff, ya know?"

"You mean, you actually 'like' me like this?" That nice lady had assured her that Ranma would be pleasantly stunned by her current appearance, however she never could have believed such a thing!

"Well, I told ya ...ya know, ya look great in anythin', but I ain't never seen anyone look that pretty before, yer gorgeous."

Blushing, the demure young woman looked away. "You are far too kind, my love."

"Ain't what most say..."

The remorse upon his face broke Kasumi's heart, particularly in light of how much her own family had been a part of crushing the free-spirited boy's self-esteem. "Oh my, Darling, the people who say that, do not know the real you."

"But-..."

"No 'buts', trust the people who know you best." The matronly young woman, gave him a gentle yet firm gaze, letting him know that she meant what she said.

"That's what I mean, like-..."

"I am not certain that my sister ever truly knew you as a person. Far too many people are blinded by their own preconceptions to see the real you."

"But-..."

"Now, I am not trying to tell you that you do not have room for self-reflection or development, none of us are perfect, however I have been watching you closely for some time now, and I believe you have a very good heart. You put others before yourself. You are willing to dive headlong into danger even for people you do not know! You are a very compassionate young man, I do not know anyone else who could tolerate even half of what I saw you putting up with. How many people would drop everything in their life to travel to another country just to help someone?"

"Well, a bunch a' us did, but it ain't like yer just anyone! How could anybody leave someone like ya in danger?"

"Technically, I was not in any actual 'danger'."

"Th' danger a' bein' kidnapped, an' forced ta marry some prince guy!"

"You mean, being swept off my feet by a prince on a white horse, and taken away from a family that did not appreciate me?" She crossed the short distance between them, batting her eyelashes, and taking his hands into hers.

"Um, well, I mean, if ya'd liked th' guy, I would'a left ya there..."

"Oh Honey, I am just teasing you, I meant you. I had never been so happy in my life as I was when I saw you and the others that day. I never thought I would see any of you again! I can never thank you enough for what you did, and yet you keep saving me over and over again. You have shown me things that I never thought possible. Being able to help you like this, makes me one of the happiest women on the planet."

"But-..."

Kasumi placed her hands on his shoulders, trying to implore him with her eyes. "No. You need to listen to me. You are not an awful person, no matter what some people might say. You deserve a good life. It is not wrong of you to want to be happy. As our friend Shampoo would say, 'no is bad to feel too too good'. You are allowed to enjoy yourself, you do not have to accept a life of torment. You can have fun."

"I know, but it ain't that easy, ya know?"

Seeing his pained expression crushed her, and she pulled his head into her bosom. "I know, I know, it can be difficult to let our pain go, but we eventually learn to move on and live our ...lives. ...Oh my."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing at all. I believe I just figured out something important."

"What's that?"

"We each need to live our lives for ourselves, and do what makes us happy. So long as we are not harming others, then we should to what we enjoy, should we not?"

"That's what I've been tryin' ta tell ya, ya should stop worryin' about me, an' do what makes Kasumi-chan happy."

"Who says that I am not?" Her sparkling smile made his protest difficult.

"But, all yer doin' now is takin' care a' me an' th' others, instead a' yer real family."

Kasumi's smile broadened. "Yes, exactly, and I have never been happier. Besides, you ARE a part of my 'real' family ...A-na-ta, and I do not want you to ever forget that. I love my father and sisters, and I always will, but I could not be happier anywhere else. I believe that even my mother would approve of my decision. You make me feel much more ...appreciated than they ever did ...not that I 'need' appreciation mind you, but it is nice to receive. Do you not think?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Ranma cocked an eyebrow, not exactly certain how to take all of that, so he focused on the part that he understood the best. "Well, all I can say is, anyone who don't appreciate ya's a fool! Don't get me wrong, I want ya ta be happy, an' I'm glad yer expandin' yer skills, it's just hard ta believe, it's weird, ya know?"

"What? You really think that I would lie to you?" Kasumi felt wounded, she was an honest person, was she not?

"If ya thought th' truth'd hurt someone's feelin's er somethin' ...maybe. I can't see ya hurtin' a bug, let alone a person."

"But- ...I mean, well, I-..." She did not have a response to that, if she really thought about it, she may have stretched the truth a bit upon occasion to spare someone's feelings, but she still would not ...'lie'. "No, not with you, not with this! Of course I do not wish to hurt your feelings, I ...I love you! You are the best thing to ever happen in my life!" Suddenly realizing what she had just said, and how it must have sounded, she started to stammer over her words. "I-, I mean ...you ...know what I mean... I only want what is best for you."

Stiffening for a moment, Ranma almost panicked, thinking that Kasumi had just confessed to him ...for real. It was only a moment later that he felt both relieved and something else, almost like someone had punched him in the gut, it was the strangest thing. It was also at that time that he became aware of their growing audience, all casually NOT looking on with great interest. "Um, yeah, me too, so um, hey, ya ready ta get out a' here, er somethin'?"

"You do? Oh my... I suppose after you then, Darling-kun." The blushing couple tried not to look as the hotel staff waved at them hurrying out of sight.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

After making good on their escape, Ranma paused, turning toward his accomplice. "So, where'd ya wanna go?"

Kasumi grinned to herself as she took his arm in hers. "The okami suggested a nice place to get dinner before we need to catch our train home."

"Oh, okay, sure!" He had been a bit worried she might have suggested something embarrassing, however, having a meal was an idea that could almost always get him excited, though the feeling of being watched would not leave him again.

Kasumi, already self-conscious about her looks, was painfully aware of the stares she was getting as they advanced through the crowd, feeling completely exposed in the skin-tight qipao. Following the directions she had been given, Kasumi led them to what ended up being the tallest building in the area, in hindsight, perhaps she did not need instructions that had been quite so detailed. She had never seen such an ostentatious building in her life, and surprised herself by actually wanting to enter. "Here we are, we should have a reservation, so shall we?"

"It's a bit loud, but I guess as long as th' food's good, right?"

"I have been assured that it is quite fine."

Chuckling to himself, Ranma led them toward the entrance. "Well, I can honestly already say, 'I have had worse'."

"Oh fuu... That is not nice, Darling."

"But true..."

"Oh my...!" Calming her giggles, she spoke to the doorman. "We have a table for two, under the name 'Saotome', please."

"Yer really playin' up this 'newlywed' thing, ain't ya?"

"Oh my, but it is just so much fun being 'married' to you, my love." Ranma blushed at her wink.

"Oh, you two are newlyweds? How nice! Congratulations!" Checking their name off in his book, the young man bowed to the couple.

"Thank you sir, you are too kind." Kasumi returned the bow, wanting to enjoy their little game for as long as she was able.

"Thank you, honored customers. If you will be so kind as to follow me, I will lead you to one of our more 'private' booths." Bowing again, he took two menus from his podium.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Gee, that WAS good! I ain't sure what an appy-tie-czar is, it don't sound like food, but those little things were great!"

"It is a dish to eat before the main courses of your meal."

"Do ya know how it's made? I'd like ta learn."

"I know how to make many, as for the ones you ordered, I believe I can figure it out, they did not seem too terribly complicated, a slight variation of tsukune I believe. It could take a few tries to get it to your tastes though..."

"Really? Yer just amazin', ya know that? I don't think I could figure that out just from tastin' it."

"Oh, no, not at all. I am nothing special, I am certain with some more practice, you will be far better than I ever could be."

"No way! Yer so much better 'an me, it ain't no contest! Nobody's better 'an Kasumi-sama!"

"Anyone could do what I do, I am really not that good at all, I have simply had to do it for so many years now, just copying my mother. You've only been at it a few months."

"Nah, I always had ta do th' cookin' on th' road, otherwise we'd end up with th' only thin ol' Pops can make, an' believe me, ya can only eat the same rice an' cabbage every meal fer so long, before ya learn a thing er two. After seein' how good Ucchan was at that age, I figured even I could learn somthin'..."

"You just need to think about it the right way, like a martial art."

"Well, I DO know a few people who worked it inta their art..."

"The art of filling your belly!" Kasumi giggled before taking a sip from her cup.

"The art of 'not starving', it is one of the foundations of any good school!"

"You see? It is not so hard."

"Fer most people, maybe."

"What do you mean, you do not seem to have any real difficulty learning a new recipe, in fact, you pick them up far more quickly then I ever did!"

"I'd bet, even as a kid, ya were amazin'!"

"You would be wrong on that, I can assure you. Some of my earliest attempts were almost as bad as Akane-chan."

Ranma gasped in horror. "I don't believe it, no way it could be THAT bad!"

"Oh yes, the first time I finally got it right, Father wept with joy."

"Now THAT I believe!" They shared a laugh, as they both pictured Soun's waterfall tears over Kasumi's first edible meal.

"Yes, Father had been emotional ever since we lost mother, but that was the first time since that day that they were not tears of sorrow, so I could not have been happier that day. From then on, I threw everything I had into trying to keep everyone smiling, which can be more difficult than you might think..."

Seeing her mood shift, he figured it was his turn to try to save her smile. "Hey, ya did th' best ya could, ain't no kid ready ta handle that kind a responsibility, all a' a sudden. No offense, but even more 'an th' forced engagement, the fact that yer dad push all that onta ya as a kid, always really got me steamed. Ya should a' never had ta deal with all that, it ain't right!"

"But ...I like helping-..."

"Yeah, an' that's fine an' all, but what kind a' adult makes a kid do everything? It's one thing ta help, it's somethin' else ta have ta to it all without anyone helpin' ya. Even my pops didn't do that!"

"It is all right, I have people who will help me now, and I am just glad to be around people who treat me as more as a person than a home fixture."

"Yeah, that's what I meant, it's why I started helpin' ya, SOMEONE had ta do it!"

"And 'that' is what 'I' meant, you have a kind heart, you are a good person."

"I don't know, maybe, sometimes, but it ain't like I'm a saint, ya know...?"

Kasumi could see the shame written plainly on his face. "None of us are perfect."

"Yer the most perfect person I know."

"Oh no, I have made many mistakes in my life as well. Some very large and costly ones in fact..."

"Like what? ...Oh, I guess I shouldn't ask, that really ain't polite."

"No, it is fine, you do not have to worry about being 'polite' with me. I want you to know you can ask me anything. My biggest regret is helping to force you and Akane-chan together, as well as not listening to your side as often as I should have. It was selfish of me, and it was not fair ...to either of you."

"Hey, it was a weird day, I don't blame ya, this stupid curse is weird, and freaky, who wouldn't freak out?"

"It might be unusual, but I no longer find it 'weird', it does not 'freak me out', no matter what, I only see the same, sweet person, and I am not the only one. We should have given you a chance, given you time to get settled, and given us all time to adjust, but our fathers pushed, and we ran away..."

"Hey, hey, hey, no need ta get upset, I told ya, I don't blame ya. Any normal person'd be weirded out."

Kasumi took a moment to calm herself, trying to suppress her guilt. "We all make mistakes, but the fact that we regret our actions is a good thing, and it shows that we want to be better people. What is important is that we do not deny our mistakes, but we learn from them instead, and that we do everything we can to correct them. As long as we try to do everything we can to make up for those errors, and most importantly, not repeat them, then we can hold our heads a bit higher. As long as we always strive to be better people, then we can take pride in what we do. Our mistakes do not define us, it is how we correct them that matters."

Ranma's mood and head drooped. "Then, what I gotta do ta make up fer all a' these engagements?"

"How many of them are you 'truly' responsible for getting started?"

"None of um, not really, maybe Shampoo's I guess, in a way, but Pops started eatin' first, an' it ain't like I knew those stupid rules a' theirs! I guess it ain't like we really listened ta th' guide er nuthin', but who could'a guessed they'd take it THAT badly?"

"Then, I suppose that the two of you need to sit down, and talk about how you can work things out. I am certain you can come up with something that will make both of you happy."

"I don't know, Shampoo ain't th' easiest person ta talk ta, ya know?"

"I have never found it terribly difficult, do you wish for me to help you?"

"Would ya?" His eyes lip up at the thought.

"Of course! I will help you do anything, you only need to ask."

"Oh, wow, hey, Kasumi-chan, what can I do ta thank ya?"

"The only thing that I would like for you to do, is for you to be happy, and perhaps..." Scooting closer to him in the booth, she wrapped her arm around his shoulder. "...keep doing your 'homework'."

"Uuuummm, 'kay." Knowing how this normally went, Ranma settled in for what he anticipated to be the long haul.

Feeling his comforting arms surround her, she let out a low sigh while laying her head on his shoulder. "You know, I actually had a second reason for coming here, I hope that you do not find it terribly deceptive of me..."

"What'd ya mean?"

"Well, please promise me that you will not reject me right away..."

"What'd ya mean? Who could say 'no' ta ya?"

"I do not care about anyone else, I just do not want you to think badly of me for asking this..."

"That ain't possible! I could never think badly a' ya!"

"That is nice of you to say, but you may not feel the same way after I ask."

"What could it be?"

"Upstairs, they have a ...place for dancing, and ...I-would-like-it-very-much-if-you-would-allow-me-to-have-this-dance-please!"

She had spoken so quickly that Ranma had trouble making out what she had asked him, and while he knew nothing of dancing, he could not resist her puppy-dog eyes. "I-, I- guess, but, I-, I don't know how..." He held the slimmest of hopes that she might grant him a reprieve, though that was soon dashed to pieces.

"There is no need to worry, it does not need to be complicated, and it is not as if I have ever been either, that is why I asked. We can just take it slow, as I will show you what little I know, is that all right?"

"I guess so..." Her features shifted from hopeful to overflowing gratitude, giving Ranma the reassurance that he did not make the wrong choice, even if it might be embarrassing. Her stunning smile sent a warmth throughout his body, where it filled his chest and tightened around his heart, making it hard to move. No matter what else happened, seeing her that happy made anything worth while.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"See, this is not so bad, right?" Resting her head upon his shoulder, they held each other closely and rocked with the slow music.

"Naw, I guess not..." It was not as if it were difficult to do, it was just the idea of being this close to someone in public was embarrassing, and for some reason was still making nervous for another reason, as if all eyes were on them and he expected his danger sense to scream at him at any moment.

"Please, just try to relax, and let the music flow through you."

"Humm..." Glancing around the room, he saw that each of the other couples were moving so that their feet would touch down in time to the beats in the music, some more effectively than others, and he did his best to follow suit, as if it were a kata.

Kasumi noticed that Ranma had been growing more confident with each passing step and it did not take long before he was leading her! It was as if one of her old dreams had been brought to life, Ranma was so strong, comforting, and light on his feet that she almost felt as if she were floating. She barely noticed as the music switched tempo, though it came as a bit of a shock when they were no longer dancing cheek to cheek, however she did her best to follow in step, made all the more difficult by her skin tight dress.

She managed to shimmy and shake as well as most of the other dancers, loving it when Ranma would pull her in closely, and a bit crestfallen each time their bodies would part. Though that slight disappointment did little to detract from her overall elation at the sheer fact that she was out dancing with her hu-... friend, no, younger brother, yes, that was better! She would need to stop thinking of him as her 'husband' very soon, and go back to the way they were, this was only for appearance sake, and his training after all.

"Hey, what's wrong Aisai-chan, ain't ya havin' fun no more?"

"Oh, no, this is wonderful ...Anata. I really appreciate you humoring me like this."

"Don't worry about it, it's actually pretty fun, and good exercise. Maybe we should add it as part of our trainin', what ya think?"

Blushing as she thought about them doing this every day, she had to shake the images from her head to focus on the 'here and now'. "I believe the others would be jealous..." Not wanting to completely give up on the idea, Ranma should have other interests after all, she quickly amended her statement. "...If you do not at least include them as well."

"Oh yeah, ya got a point, I almost forgot about th' others..." Ranma looked a bit sheepish before his sly grin took over with a light chuckle. "It's almost too bad we gotta go back, huh?"

"Oh my!" Kasumi blushed again as she pictured them running away to elope just like in one of the many stories she had read. "What-, whatever could you mean?"

"Well, ya know, it's just so peaceful, no arguin', er bickerin', ain't nobody tryin' ta tell us what ta do er nothin', ya know? We can just have fun, study new stuff, an' all that, train as hard as we want! Don't ya think that'd be nice?"

"Oh my..." Flashes of the 'training' they had been doing on their trip ran through her mind, particularly one particularly long session the night before that Ranma himself was not aware, causing her already flush skin to grow a brighter shade of pink. "Yes, I do believe that it might, but..."

"Yeah, I know, but hey, we can dream, right? Just travelin' around, goin' anywhere we want, not havin' ta worry 'bout nuthin'." Ranma grin filled his face as he got a far off look on his chiseled features.

"Well, you do paint a nice picture, that dose sound like fun, however, I do not know that I would want to hike everywhere, all of the time."

"Well, we could work on your jumping, it is a lot faster than hiking. ...Oh, wait, I keep forgettin' yer afraid a' height, ain't ya, I'm sorry! If ya want ta talk about it...?"

"Oh no! I'm not ...'afraid'!" He chose that moment to pull her closer again, and as she felt his arms envelope her, the words slipped out. "I think I just ...prefer it when you carry me. ...Oh, oh my!" Kasumi was so eager to sooth his guilt, she forgot to keep her own dirty little secret.

"Huh? Ya don't wanna learn?"

"Oh my, no! I am sorry, I do not mean it like that, I really do want to learn, but I- ...I am SO sorry, I just can't help it, I like it when you carry me! It reminds me of a long time ago, when things were much happier, for everyone of us. Back when I did not have to worry about anything beyond having fun, playing with my friends, and obeying my parents. Everything was so simple, and I just felt so ...safe!" The words have just flowed out of her, she had barely even realized that she was speaking. Feelings that she had barely even been aware of having, now laid bare, and hanging in the air between them.

"No, hey, I'm th' one that should be sorry, I didn't know, I didn't mean ta pry. Hey, it ain't like I mind ya know, I'll carry ya anywhere ya wanna go, anytime ya want, okay? Ya ain't gotta worry about nuthin', I want ya ta feel safe too. 'Sides, yer pops'd kill me, if I ever let ya git hurt!"

"It is not as if my father could beat you, I think we both know that."

"If I let ya get hurt, I'd deserve every bit of it."

"I do not want you to get hurt on my account though! You do not deserve it!"

"Hey, don't worry about it, I'm used to it, an' I heal fast."

"I know, but that does not make it right! I want you to promise me, that you will not EVER do that!"

"I'm sorry, I'd do almost anythin' ya ask, but that's one thing I can't promise ya, cause if yer in trouble, I'd do anythin' I could ta save ya. ...No matter what it took."

"But I-..."

"I couldn't talk myself out of it if I wanted ta. I think th' song's about over, ya ready?"

"For what?" Kasumi was still reeling from the blow to the gut that she felt every time she remembered Ranma getting beaten by Kirin to rescue her, when Ranma suddenly changed topics on her.

"Hold yer skirt, I'm gonna toss ya inta th' air like some a' those other guys, but don't ya worry, like I said, I promise ya, I will 'never' let ya get hurt, okay?" Seeing her timid nod, Ranma was as good as his word.

Kasumi managed to hold in her 'Eeeep!', and hold down her dress as she flew high enough to see the individual paint strokes in the ceiling. Her heart leaped into her throat as she began her descent, wishing she had buckled her seatbelt! She had virtually no awareness of anything else beyond her heartbeat. Just as she expected to 'splat' on the dancefloor, she found herself resting gently in Ranma's arms, their faces mere centimeters apart. Without thinking, she brought their lips together to complete the embrace.

Remembering what she said, he did not put her down as he made his way toward the back of the room. "See, I told ya I'd do anythin' ta keep ya safe. Ya ain't gotta worry 'bout nuthin'." Suddenly the feeling of being watched shifted. "Oh ...crap!"

"Is that so, Twinkle-Toes?" They looked up to see two burly men, each over two meters tall, stand as they passed by their table.

"How about ya give us yer wallet then, Playboy?" Flicking out their switchblade knives, the pair began to advance.

Positioning himself between Kasumi and the two unsavory gentlemen, Ranma stepped forward. "Sorry, I ain't got one, but I'll tell ya what, ya leave th' girl alone, an' I won't hurt ya ...too badly." Ranma aura flared up, and the two large men, feeling the intense heat combined with the cold look of death, turned tail and fled only to find their path blocked by the glowing young man.

With nowhere to go, they stepped back into a fighting stance only to find that their tiny knives had been broken, and they were no longer on their feet. Within a moment Ranma had tied them up in their own clothing, and had asked the doorman to call the police.

"Hey, I told ya not ta worry, wimps like that can't hurt th' great Ranma Saotome!"

Despite the danger, his bravado made her giggle as she looked as his expression. "Well, either way, we ought to hurry, we cannot have 'The Great Ranma Saotome' miss a train..."

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BONUS OMAKE: Magical Housewife Kasumi

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After getting settled into their seats, Kasumi fell asleep in the arms of her temporary husband for the last time as the train began to move.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

{It is said by some that during one person's life, there will be many who can change your destiny. I did not believe that, that was until I met my husband, Ranma Saotome, Monster Hunter extraordinaire.}

Kasumi and Ranma walked arm in arm down a dark alley, with construction equipment in the lots on either side. "Do you really think we are in the right place, Anata?"

{Now we find ourselves wandering together, in search of those who might do the innocent harm.}

"Yeah, I can sense it nearby, I know just where to find them, get ready..." They did not get much further before they heard something that sounded wet, like Jell-O slopping around as they were almost deafened by a groaning much like groaning metal. "There it is, RUN!"

Kasumi ducked around the corner as she watched Ranma dash toward the sounds as the horrific beast came into view. "Oh my..."

{Despite how many people we have helped, things are not always as they appear.}

Ranma ran in where he saw several young woman trapped in the tentacles of the gelatinous beast. Working quickly, he slashed through a number of tendrils, freeing the naked ladies, and helping them get to safety while the creature was writhing in pain.

{I have a secret, my magnificent husband has never actually beaten a monster!}

Before he had gotten far, the tentacles had wrapped around him, dragging him back toward the belly of the beast.

{It was actually I, who defeated them, but not as the simple dedicated bride you see before you, no.}

Looking around to make certain that no one was watching her, Kasumi blushed as she reached between her legs to extract a small metal 'wand'.

{For once I extract my henshin rod and say the magical phrase, I transform.}

"Guardian Vibrator, stir-up the storm and summon 'Magical Housewife Kasumi'!" Surrounded by a flash of light, and enough sparkles to make a fairy jealous, her usual clothing was replaced by that of a dominatrix, complete with stiletto-heels, and a mask. She spun around, once again blushing at how revealing her outfit was.

Raising her vibrator into the air, she flew into the sky, and toward the sounds of battle. Arriving just in time to see a female Ranma get knocked unconscious, she flew in to pull the cursed boy free. "You are safe now, Citizen!"

Seeing that Ranma seemed to not be too hurt, she turned back to face the rape monster, with a glare typically reserved for abusive parents and pandas. She flew back into the air as as the phallic-like appendaged came toward her. "I hold no enmity against those coerced into evil, but for those vile beings who abuse the innocent and hurt my baby, I shall be your destroyer! I call upon the powers of Double-D sized batteries to infuse me with your power!" The sky lit up with electricity converging on her metal vibrator, until she aimed it at the magical beast when it got the last shock of its life. "Pika-Pi-Pika-Chuuuuuu!"

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"Almost naked by moonlight,

Making love by daylight,

Never dressed in a real fight,

She is the Magical Kasumi!"

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NOTES

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As for the Vacation to Hakone, the ryokan I used there was a mixture of several others from there, and the Forest Park I used was loosely based on one that would not be built in reality for many years to come. The club, I just made up, I could not even find if they had one in that town, never mind a proper example of one that fit the bill, so I just made one up, since I thought it might be a fun idea. I can see Kasumi, almost as much as Nabiki, appreciating a guy who can dance.

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So, this is the end of our hero's vacation, and now back to the daily grind, but will everything go back exactly the way it was? Tune in next time for, 'Dancing with the Devil in the Pale Moonlight', or ''Pounding Pickpockets', and find out!


	38. Chapter 38

Warning: Everything about this story is absolutely true ...except the parts that are written.

Chapter 38 - Dream Weaver

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The night was late, and Kodachi had not gotten out of bed for weeks ...or at least not that she could remember. The only thing that even made her aware of the passage of time was when their faithful manservant, Sasuke would bring her meals, and most of those visits tended to blur together in her mind. She could hardly even tell when she was awake or dreaming. Was she even awake at that moment? She had no idea.

Hearing the soft clacking of the lock on her door, she knew that Sasuke would soon appear through one of his hidden passages. She had no interest in the food, though her throat still ached, and the soothing tea seemed appealing, if she could only find the strength to drink it. Before he could get through the tunnels, she managed to get one of her homemade pills into her mouth.

"Kodachi-sama? Have you awoken?"

Her throat was far too dry to speak, though she managed to nod slightly, if she was not conscious, then she was dreaming that she was.

"I brought you your dinner again, are you certain that you will not eat?" The small servant looked grim as she shook her head. His visage was made all the more ominous by being hidden under his mask. In his eyes, she was looking terrible, a shadow of the young woman he had been taking care of for so long, and he was growing more concerned for her health with each passing day. The vitamins he had been dissolving into her tea could only go so far, and he was beginning to think he would have to call a home nurse to feed her intravenously. Her personality had always been a 'bit ...less than complete', but ever since that fateful day when Ranma had showed them his curse, he barely recognized her any longer.

"Okay, Ojou-sama, but let me help you drink your tea at least, okay?" Seeing her face light up slightly, he felt relieved. She seemed to only swallow hard at first, but managed to finish her cup before long. "That's the way, good." Not only was she starving herself and not moving, but he could hear her arguing with herself at all hours, and she had their loyal retainer quite worried.

Seeing a bit of color return to his mistress's overly-pale skin, the littlest ninja felt a modicum of relief, and he offered a short 'thank you' to the gods watching over their house. "What about a little miso so-... No? Okay, okay, I will not force you." 'Yet.' "Maybe another cup of tea?"

After a second cup of vitamin tea, Sasuke noticed an odor as he was cleaning up their mess. "Shall I ready your bath then?"

"...Fine, another sponge bath it is. I will leave the food here in case you decide you would like some while I prepare. I shall return soon Mistress." The one bright spot in his life was that since she had stopped speaking, she no longer asked him to dress up as Ranma and hold her...

Kodachi followed him as he left the room until her eyes glazed over, the numbing of her drugs taking effect, and spreading throughout her body before finally calming her minds. The cotton that had filled her mouth, now fled to her brain, where it made the memories equally 'fuzzy'. She could almost see Ranma's handsome face, without being able to tell that it was contorted into a rage, all of which was obviously directed toward 'her'. No matter what she did, she could not get that image out of her minds. At least when she was awake the drugs could cloud her mind, because there was nothing that could block her dreams as she slept, always to wake at the same moment, that same image burned fresh into her memories. The man she loved ...'hated' her, and it was all 'HER' fault! Both of them really... The other always DID come on too strong.

'Hey! It wasn't MY idea to kidnap that harlot!' A sultry, yet outraged voice rang out in her head.

A harsher version of her voice cackled in response. 'And I've gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for-..."

'If it hadn't been for RANMA-SAMA! Could you not see how much we hurt the one we love?' Kodachi had finally reached her limit, and raised her compassionate voice, interjecting herself into the argument.

'If we left it to you, we never would have even spoken together!' The angry tone echoed through her skull.

'If we left it to YOU, we would be hated forever by the only person who was ever kind to us!' The desperate tone in the pitiful voice was clear, she felt as if she had lost her last bit of meaning in her life.

'That's true, the others were all so fake, it was obvious, they just wanted something from us!' The voice paused for a moment as she considered what they wanted. 'Not that it would be ALL bad...'

'Exactly, everyone else just wants something from us, so why not take what we want?' The haughty inflection made it clear that everyone else was below her.

'Some things need to be earned! Can you not see that?' She passionately implored the others to see reason.

'I know how I would reap my reward, and Ranma-sama would never look at another woman again when we got done!' The sensuous tone turned into haughty laughter as she imagined everything she would do if she had gotten Ranma alone.

'Exactly, take what we want!' Demanding the others listen to her, she expected them to bow before her will.

'No! How can you not see that we cannot do that? That is how we got it to this point in the first place!'

'And what point is that? Where you have us wasting away in bed, while bawling yourself hoarse? Let me take over, I will get us back in shape!'

'Well, we DO look terrible lately, and you know 'I' will not hurt anyone...' The seductive sounds of the breathy voice practically cooed in her mind.

'After what we have done, we do not deserve to look good...' She sounded as if she were about to resume her crying when she was interrupted.

'Perish the thought!' The very idea offended her sensuous sensibilities.

'We do not 'deserve' to do anything.' The other two had to strain to hear her meek statement.

'Oh quit whining, you can't keep us like this forever! One of these days I-...!'

'I will never let you out to hurt anyone again!' The sad resignation rang clear.

'Anyone who stands in our way deserves what they get!'

'No! I would rather die first!'

'One should not tempt the Black Rose! Oh! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho, hohohoho...'

'Hey, hey, neither of you get too crazy here, I do not want to die a virgin!'

'You don't want us to get 'too crazy', that is rich! You want to see crazy, let us get crazy!'

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Kodachi found herself in the audience of a circus as the tent lights came up, calling attention to the high wire platforms. As the spotlights focused, they centered on a young woman in a green leotard, holding a long pole.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the greatest show on earth! May we now draw your attention to the platform far above your heads! Tonight, the mistress of the wire, terror of the tightrope, the first female of funambulism, will amaze you with acrobatic feats of dexterity, the likes of which you have never seen, all without a net! Bring your hands together for the lovely, the incomparable, the one, the only, the Black Rooooooooose!"

Just before the audience erupted in applause, one voice was heard screaming out a question, "Then why is the suit green?"

Kodachi could not figure out why they were announcing her, when she was clearly in the stands. She could not be up there as well, could she?

"OHhohohohoho!" The Black Rose started off by doing forward somersault, landing in the splits while holding her balancing staff near her center. Rising up on her back leg, she did a forward flip, followed by another somersault. Rising again, she stood on her toes and leaned forward as one foot rose to match. The young gymnast spun around several times on her toes before facing the audience.

Everyone 'Oooo'd and 'Aaah'd as she began to spin her staff, as if this were a martial arts demonstration. Suddenly she tossed it into the air like a baton and catching the end before she spun around backwards, appearing to grip the cable with her toes as she flipped around. On her last rotation, as she spun forward, she flicked out with her staff as it spiraled forth like a ribbon, entangling Kodachi, and pulling her back, only to find herself completely entangled and dangling from one of the support beams.

"OHHOhohohoho! Now do you see? You are no match for the Black Rose!" The live studio audience erupted in canned applause. "Watch, as I lower the helpless twit into the pool of hungry piranha! My babies have been known to strip a deer in under a minute when sufficiently hungry, and I have not fed them in two weeks. Just like someone else we all know who is little more then skin and bones right now... How long do you think you can last?"

Dangling helplessly, she managed to get the ribbon out of her mouth. "Ranma-sama will never love someone like you!"

"I do not care, I do not need LOVE! Not from that guy, not from you, not from mother, nor anyone else! I only went after that fool for you two! I! Do! Not! Care!"

"How DARE you call Ranma-sama a fool?"

Bending backwards, she flipped over in one sleek motion before rubbing her hands over her own curves. "Anyone who would pass up on this body, IS a fool and worse! Am I right everyone?" The big tent filled with hoots and whistles in response to her query.

"Ranma-sama cares about more then looks!" The audience 'Aaawww'ed in response to her declaration.

"Nobody cares what that fool wants! Not us, and not anyone else! All that matters is what 'I' want, and right now, what I want is permanent control over our body!" To emphasize her point, the ribbon dropped by several centimeters.

The sound of a horn echoed around the tent, as a toy car drove out into the center ring, sputtering as it went. Once the tiny door opened, a normal sized foot came out of it, followed by an extraordinarily long leg wrapped in colorful cloth. The lithe woman who climbed out was dressed as a harlequin, and tumbled away from the car. "Ohohohoho! What have we here? Only the most cliche shtick in the book, eh? And here I thought we were going to get ...'crazy'." Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a giant mallet, and smashed the glass wall of the oversized fish tank.

"Oh no, my babies! How could you?"

For some reason, her accent changed to that of somewhere in the north eastern' United States. "Easily! Just, like, this! Splat! Splat! Splat! ...and, Splat!" Each swing of her mallet squished several of the fearsome fish. "I got news for ya, ya won't take over that easily, Missus Kay!"

"Why are you talking that way, did you hit your head?"

"Couldn't tell yas, it just seemed ta fit th' outfit!"

"Well, no matter, neither of you will be around for much longer. I will see to that!" Pulling bowling pins out of nowhere, she began to hurl an endless volley of clubs.

"Oh, I don't know, I am known to be rather vexing, if you were not aware." Easily dodging most of them, she pulled an aluminum baseball bat from behind her back, to knock the last of them back toward their her attacker. "Oh come now, ya gotta play harder than that! Oh well, now it is my turn!" Cocking the baseball bat, she hefted it over her shoulder before firing a rocket with a huge explosion!

The projectile stopped centimeters away from the Black Rose, who did not flinch as the nose of the giant bullet swung open to reveal an arm reaching out with a flag hanging from it which read 'BANG!' Just as the flag unrolled, the finger at the end of the arm flicked her nose, causing her to lose her balance, and tumble from the wire.

A few somersaults later, she landed gently on the ground. "Pathetic! You play with toys at a time like this? You should have used the real thing if you want to be rid of me!" From within the opening on the front of her leotard, she pulled bomb after bomb, hurling them at the clown.

"Eeeeeek!" She started to dance around as the explosions happened all around her, and then just stopped. "...Is that what you expected? Oh please..." Bat still in hand, she knocked each one of them out of the park ...er tent. "Yer gonna hafta train more, if ya wanna be as crazy as me!"

As the explosions were heard off in the distance, the Black Rose's expression intensified, and her eyes seemed to lose focus. "Well then, let's go off the rails!" The scene tore away like paper as a locomotive steamed through the tent, it's whistle drowning out any other sound. "ALL ABOARD!"

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Screams and gunfire were heard in the distance, as Kodachi awoke in her dark compartment on the train, wondering what was happening in the other car. Suddenly she felt the thin wire tighten around her neck, and she was glad that she had opted for her nightgown with the thicker collar. Unable to scream, she looked around, wondering what she was going to do.

"That is not very sporting of you."

"That is just how crazy goes? Everyone of us, living as foes." The attacker started to screech out a tune.

"Maybe, it's not too late..." Throwing a rubber ball, it bounced off of the attacker's head, leaving a small welt, and causing her to lose her grip on her garrote.

Finally able to breathe again, Kodachi rolled out of her bunk, rubbing her sore neck. "Why can't we just love, and forget all the hate?"

The black rose watched as the two of them ran from the room, trying to extricate herself from being entangled in the bedding. "Mental wounds ...not healing, driving me insane..." She fell out onto the floor. "We all went off of the rails on the Crazy Train!"

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The Kodachis found themselves on top of the speeding train, trying to make their way to the engine. "You are going to have to learn to stand up for yourself one of these days, you know?"

"But, that woman is just so ...scary!"

"Remember, this is not just for you, this is for our Ranma-sama too! You will never know that sweet embrace, you will never know the bliss of falling asleep in each others arms ...we will never get to make babies, and making them is the BEST part of kids!"

"That's not true, babies are adorable!"

"So, it's only when we get older that everyone wants us gone?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well? Where are they when we need them? Where were our parents? Did they stick around? No. But did we let that affect us? ...Well yes, yes we did, but that is fine, we can be fine, we don't need them, we have each other, and we can overcome anything, as long as we are together."

"I don't know..."

"Have I ever let you down?"

"Pretty frequently, actually..."

"Um, well... Ohhohohohohoho! We can worry about that later, now we have another problem..."

Looking passed her doppelganger, she saw the other, dressed in a black trench coat and large brimmed hat stomping toward them with a machine gun in her hands. "I knew you would try this, always so predictable. Everyone always does exactly what I expect, you pathetic little bugs."

"Ohhohohoho, then why are you not in control? Why do you not have everything you want?"

"Who says that I do not? In fact, I have the two of you, exactly where I want you..."

"Oh really?"

"In just one minute, you will voluntarily jump from this train."

"What makes you think that?"

"Nothing, I do not need to think, I 'know'. Everything that exists in this world, is there for the sole purpose of entertaining me." Dropping the gun to her side, she lashed out with her ribbon which wrapped around Kodachi's waist, and before anyone could react, she tossed the other end straight into the air where it snagged a passing water tower.

Kodachi watched in horror as the slack in the ribbon rapidly vanished seeing that she was about to be pulled from the speeding train, and thrown into the air. "Ahyeeeeeeeeeee!"

Without thinking, she jumped, grabbing the ribbon to lesson the impact on the other woman's spine as the world faded.

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Dressed in animal skins, the pair of Kodachis swung through the trees, switching from one vine to the next. "Ohhohohohoho!"

"Oh! It looks like we got away." The Kodachi being carried let out a sigh of relief.

"Or that one did! Whoa!"

A branch hit them square in the chest, causing them to both tumble off in different directions.

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Kodachi found herself back in her own garden and dressed in her school uniform, looking down at the pond. "Oh, Green-turtle-kun! How are you tonight? No, I am not having a fun evening myself, sometimes I believe that woman is a disgrace to the gymnastic profession, but hopefully things will get better now. Everything is all crazy, but as long as we have each other it will be all right."

Her hand absently stroking the back of the large crocodilian's neck, she looked up to see the full moon being revealed by the thin night clouds. "Would it not be glorious if we could all just work together, but I am afraid that may never happen..."

Her introspection was cut short by the sound of a growling stomach. Looking down, she saw her pet's eyes looking back at her with a hopeful expression as his mouth opened. "Feed me."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Feeed me!"

"Midorigame-kun! You talked! You-..."

"Feed me, Kuno, feed me now!"

"Oh! Certainly, let me go get you a nice steak-..."

"Must be blood... Must be live..."

"What?" She stopped short as her path was blocked by the ever growing creature.

"I'm staAarving!"

"What do you want?"

"I'm tired of cold dead flesh, I want something fresh!"

"Oh no..."

"FEEEED ME!"

"Where am I supposed to get it? Should I run down to the pound?"

"Bigger!"

"What?"

Suddenly they heard music as he started to sing. "Feed me 'Dachi, feed me all night loooong... Heh, that's right girl! You can do it, feed me 'Dachi, Feed me all night long! Hahaha! 'Cause if you feed me, 'Dachi, I can grow up, BIG ...and strong. Heheh..."

"But if you want people, Midorigame-ku-, how am I supposed to go on feeding you, kill people?"

"Why not? I can help you out, make sure you get everything, your sleazy, greasy, heart desires!"

"You have the wrong one..."

"Isn't there something you want? Think about a room at the Ritz, wrapped in velvet, and covered in glitz. A little nookie gonna clean up those zits, and you'll get it..."

"Zits! WHERE?" Looking into the pool, instead of her refection, she saw a beaten Ranma, tied up and helpless, while her darker self, dressed as a dominatrix, loomed over him with a whip.

"Ranma-sama! NO!"

"If you want to be profound, if you really got to justify, then take a breath and look around, a lot of folks deserve to die!"

"Wait a minute! That is not a very nice thing to say!"

"But it's true, isn't it?"

"No! That's not true! I don't know anyone who deserves to be chopped up and fed to a hungry crocodilian!" Swinging his snout, he indicated she look back into the pond...

"First I am going to start cutting pieces off of you, and then when you can no longer fight back, I am going to start on your friends and family while you watch. You had your chance, now you are going to suffer even more than you made us! Even more than our mother!"

"NO! RANMA-SAMA!" Without thinking, she dove into the cold waters, hoping to stop the torture being administered.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

The feeling of falling filled her being as Kodachi tried to see anything around her. The further she fell, the brighter things grew, and far below her, she saw what appeared to be a large forest approaching rapidly from below her. Seeing her impending doom rising up to meet her did not fill her with joy, and she began to scream out in protest.

"Hey now, is that any way for the first daughter of the house of Kuno to act?"

"But-..." Looking up, Kodachi saw herself dressed as a sexy cat-girl, with a large smile plaster across her face, while floating there, suggestively accentuating her own cleavage. "Who-...?"

"Just call me 'Cheshire' for now."

"What? Why?" Kodachi looked at her with a confused expression.

"Pfffft! You are no fun at all sometimes! You know this right? Because I am the Cheshire cat-girl, why is this so difficult to grasp?"

"But, we are falling!"

"Correction, YOU are falling, I am floating! ...Downward, very rapidly."

"Some help you are!" Reaching out, she tried to grasp her 'sexy twin', only to have her arms pass right through the air as that section of her body vanished.

She waved her finger at her drab self. "Now, now, that would be too easy, wouldn't it?"

"What can I do?" Pleading, she exchanged glances between her clone and the ground.

"Just think of a fun guy, and that will save you!"

"A 'fun guy'? What do you mean?"

Her body quickly faded, leaving only her smile. "You had better figure it out quickly... Good luck!" With that, the mouth 'popped' out of existence as well.

Going to an all-girls school, she knew very few 'guys', fun or otherwise, two of whom she was related, and a third was their servant, Sasuke, which only left one alternative. "Oh Ranma-sama! Please, save me!"

As she closed her eyes and remembered the feeling of being carried in his strong arms, a smile formed upon her lips just before she bounced off of a giant mushroom and into a large field of soft grass. "Oh, look, my twisted sister has come to join us for tea. What do you think, Pigtailed-girl, Akane-chan?"

Both of them turned to her with eyes closed, sticking their tongues out, and giving her the 'thumbs down' gesture. "Well, you saw it with your own eyes, you cannot stay. No tea for you, come back in one year!"

With the nod of his head, the others simultaneously pressed a large button in the table, causing the chair she had tried to sit upon, shoot up, throwing her back into the air.

Worried about her safety, she flailed about, hoping to catch anything to break her eventual fall, when suddenly she was caught in someone's arms. "Ara, ara, ara... It is not safe up here for someone who cannot fly."

Calming, she looked to see she was being held by a beautiful, brunette angel, in a sheer toga. Without the immediate fear of death looming over her, she took a moment to take in her surroundings. "The ground is above, and the sky is below! Whatever is the matter with this world? Are we upside-down?"

After a moment, she realized that the blood was not rushing to her head, and she felt as if she were facing the correct way, but everything looked ...wrong. The seeming 'wrongness' of it all, started to mess with her sense of space, and she panicked, flailing once again.

"Ara, ara! If you keep doing that, you will fa-... Oooops. Oh well..."

"I am falling up into the skyyyyyy... Why does this keep happening to me?"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Back in her garden, Kodachi came across a small table. On this it, was a cup of tea and a tiny piece of cake, next to which was a card that read, 'eat me'. Assuming that Sasuke had left it for her, she smiled. It was nice to at least have someone who cared for her. Though, she still did not feel up to eating, so simply drank the tea instead.

"Oh my..." Suddenly, it seemed as if everything around her grew to astronomical proportions ...no, that was not correct, it was her, she was shrinking! Within moments, she was barely as tall as a flower, looking much like a toy, and glad she had barely sipped at the tea, who knows how small she might have gotten if she had finished it!

After whining cutely for a moment, she looked around, she was unable to pinpoint her current location. She was hoping Sasuke would have an antidote for her, however she would have to find her way back to the mansion before that would be an option. As she climbed the nearest flower, hoping to get a better look, it began to complain.

"OI! Oi! Get off of me! How would you like it if someone trampled all over you?"

"Oh! I am terribly sorry, I ...wait, flowers cannot speak, that is absurd."

"Of course we can speak."

"Yes! That is if we have anyone to talk to!"

"...Or 'about'!" The local flora tittered, and started to gossip amongst themselves.

"Excuse me, but could you-..."

"I am Groot."

"What?"

"That one said that we can sing too!"

"I am afraid that I do not have time for-..." Turning away, she found her path blocked, with no escape in sight as the chanting began.

"Froompa, roompa, doompadee dee. If you are wise, you will listen to we."

"What do you do what you fall off the terrace?"

"Scraping your knee, and completely embarrassed."

"What do you do when you make a mistake?"

"Do you just sit in your room, with a shiver, and, quake?"

"We don't think that's good for you!"

"Froompa, roompa, doompadee, dahff!"

"Pick yourself up, and brush yourself off."

"You can live in happiness too."

"Just like we know, you always wanted to."

"...Wanted to!"

"I am trying you see, but in order to get back to myself, I need to make it to the mansion..."

"Oh, you do not want to go there!"

"To get there, you would have to go through the rose garden!"

"...And no one ever comes back from there!"

"The evil black queen rules that place with an iron whip!"

"But, I simply must get back there!"

"It's just not safe!"

"Were you not just telling me that I needed to pick myself up, and try again?"

"That's just a song!"

"We just happened to watch Flora and the Chocolate Fauna Factory last night!"

"This is your life we are talking about here!"

"How about a nice happy tea party?"

"I could call the dormouse!"

"But there aren't any doors..."

"We could loan you a nice hat..."

"How about some candy?"

"That does sound good... No! I really need to be going, thank you. But if you will not tell me the way, I simply must find it myself!"

"The only ones who would want to go there are weeds! You are not a WEED, are you?"

"NO!" Forcing her way through, Kodachi made it into another part of the garden, where she heard another voice singing each mora in the language.

"A, I, U, E, O..." She followed the voice, hoping it would lead her somewhere familiar.

"Ka, Ki, Ku, Ke, Ko..." The foliage changed as she moved, less flowers, and more of the darker plants.

"Sa, Shi, Su, Se, So..." The soft moss beneath her feet felt nice between her bare toes.

"Ta, Chi, Tsu, Te, To..." Mushrooms of various sizes grew all around her, some small enough to barely come up to her knee, while others towered over her.

"Na, Ni, Nu, Ne, No..." Looking up, she saw kana made of smoke floating upon the breeze coming from the same direction as the voice.

"Ha, He, Fu, He, Ho..." Pushing the large blades of grass aside, she entered a small clearing, where she saw a caterpillar roughly her current size, lounging on one of the larger mushrooms, and puffing on a seemingly large hookah.

"Ma, Me, Mu, Me, Mo..." Curiously, she moved closer, hoping to get a better look.

"Ya. Yu. Yo, Ra, Ri, Ru, and who might you be?" As he spoke, letters would form from his exhaled smoke of various colors.

"Well, I-, I, hardly know, sir, for I have changed oh so many times since this morning, you see?"

"I do not see. Explain yourself."

"I am afraid I cannot explain myself, because I am not myself, you know?"

"I do not know."

"I cannot put it any more clearly, for it is not clear to me."

"You? Who are you?"

"Well, is it not the custom to give one's own name first?"

"Why?"

"Manners are important, even when everything is just so confusing..."

"It is not."

"Well, it is to me."

"Why?"

"Well, my memory might be a bit fuzzy, but things just are not the same as they should be, everything simply feels 'wrong'."

"Such as?"

"I am terribly sorry, but I need to get back to the mansion, can you tell me which way to go please?"

"You? Who, ARE, you?"

Waving her hands in front of her face, to blow away the smoke letters, she coughed and fell off of the larger toadstool she had been using as a seat. Standing, she brushed off her clothing and stormed off, trying to shake the smoke cloud that clung to her foot.

"What a rude child." Seeing the girl turn up her nose as she entered the jungle of grass, he lazily crawled from one leaf to another, calling out to her as he shook several of his hands. "You there, girl, come back, I have something important to tell you."

Hearing the frantic voice, finally offering to be helpful, she poked her head back into the clearing. "Oh dear, what is it now?" Walking over, she saw the caterpillar lazing about, with his feet in the air, still puffing away on his hookah. "Well?"

Bothered, he laid back on the leaf upon which he had been sitting. "Keep your temper, you know where that leads."

"Was that all?" Kodachi examined him with an irked expression.

Flipping himself over, he turned to face her. "No. ...Exacticaly, what 'is' your problem, anyway?"

"Well, it is exactica-... exactic-... precisely this. Well, to be certain, there are a great many things, first and foremost, I should like to be a little larger sir."

"Why?"

"Well, it is just that eight centimeters is an awfully troublesome height, you see..."

"And just 'what' is wrong with eight centimeters?" Standing up on his back most feet, he stretched up to seem as tall as possible. "I am exacticaly eight centimeters high, I will thank you very much! It is a very respectable size, indeed!" In a huff, he puffed and puffed, turning himself pink, and filling the whole area with smoke as sparks flew out of the hookah.

Climbing on the nearest mushroom, she tried to get closer to him, though her vision was soon obscured by the smoke. "Well, it may be very fine for you, but I am not used to it! How am I ever to stop the evil one, if I am stuck like this?"

A voice echoed from within the smoggy bank, though she did not wish to get much closer to the pungent vapor. "Now we are getting somewhere!"

Pulling a giant fan from her bodice, she waved away the cloud, only to see that nothing remained of the caterpillar, except for his skin, gloves, shoes, and the hookah. "Oh dear!" She gently picked up one of the shoes until a voice startled her.

"I have one last thing for you girl."

Following the voice, she looked up to see a butterfly, hovering above her.

"Take this. You may need it later." With that, he dropped a small pouch into her hands before flying off, slightly miffed.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Finding herself in a small hedge maze, Kodachi frantically searched for the way through. "I do not recall ever planting such a thing! Though, perhaps it might be more fun if I were not so late! No time to say 'hello'. Good-by. I am late, I am late, I am late!" For what, she was not certain, but a sense of urgency was upon her, and she knew she could not dawdle.

As she ran through the maze, she heard voices singing, and instinctively followed them. Before long, those voices started to become clear enough to make out the words. "We have a red rose and we need it painted black..."

Finally, she came to an opening in the hedges, and upon exiting the maze, she saw several women dressed in naught much more than aprons that resembled playing cards, stockings, and small hats with their 'suit' on them. Each of these women held a bucket and brush, and were painting the flowers!

"No colors can show through, we need them painted black... WE NEED THEM PAINTED BLACK!"

"Next, please." The roses also looked like beautiful woman, and they all stood in line, waiting to be painted.

"Hai!" Each flower-woman stepped up as they were called.

"We have a white rose and we need it painted black..."

Kodachi was slightly torn, while she did love the black roses best, it felt wrong to her to paint the others, it could kill them after all! Certainly there must be a reason, hopefully they would be allowed to wash later. She started inching her way closer, hoping that if she asked nicely, they could give her directions to the castle.

...Wait, was it a 'castle'? Somehow that felt correct, so she decided not to question it. "Excuse me...?" She did not want to bother the people who were working so hard, so she chose to ask one of the flowers who were waiting in line instead. "Would you be able to tell me how I could get to the castle?"

One of the painting 'card' women responded to her, while the rose poked her own cheek and stuck out her tongue. "Sorry, as you can see, we are busy right now."

"Yes, I see. Could you, perhaps, tell me what you are doing?"

"Can't you tell?"

"Yes, but why?"

"We must make these red and white roses into black ones quickly!"

"Is that not harmf-...?" Before she could finish her question, she was pulled aside by one of the 'cards'.

"Hush, hush, hush! It might be harmful to the flowers, but NOT doing it would be harmful to US! The queen only likes BLACK roses, do you get it?"

"I am not certain that do..."

"We accidentally planted the wrong seeds, and if the queen finds out, we will all be punished, so we have to fix it before it is too late!"

"Oooo! I want to be punished!" One of the painting cards jumped up excitedly.

"I want to be punished too, you know?"

"Me too!" Many of the other women joined in the chanting when Kodachi felt a presence behind her, and turned to see herself step out from behind a large tree. She was much taller than anyone else, dressed in tight, skimpy leather dominatrix gear, and holding a whip instead of her usual ribbon.

"I told you to only plant black roses here..."

All of the women turned toward the sound of the voice. "My queen! My queen!" With each of them trying to shout over the other, it made it difficult to make out any single voice.

"So, whose fault is it?" The stern woman looked over her gushing subordinates.

A cacophony of voices, all clamoring to be the one to take the blame rose from amongst the crowd of cards.

Seeing how they wanted to be punished, the frustrated queen chose to do so by ignoring them and walking over to the newest 'guest', flipping her cape as she turned. "And what are you doing here?"

"Well, I am just-..."

Snapping her whip at Kodachi's feet, she took a bold posture. "Get on your knees, and lick my boots!"

"WHAT?"

"You want this to end? You want to go back to normal? Then I want you to lick my boots, and tell us all how wrong you were to oppose us! Promise me that you will never oppose me again!"

"Yes, do it!"

"Tell us!"

"Don't be selfish!"

"I'll do it!"

"I want you to do it now!"

"Eeeeh?" Barely managing to dodge the incoming whip, Kodachi ran blindly while looking back as the queen was mobbed by the half naked women, begging to be whipped as well.

It did not take long before she had broken free and was chasing after her. With each step, she grew taller as she struck out with her whip. "You will not escape that way, little fly."

Before she noticed it, she was surrounded by brick walls, arranged like a maze. Running as hard as she could, she knew she could not stay ahead for long with their ever-widening size gap. Desperate for any way to escape, she spotted a tiny door, and ran through it, slamming the thing behind her.

"Oh my..." A small dormouse, with light brown fur, looked up from her knitting. "Would you like some tea?"

Just as Kodachi was about to agree, a second mouse entered the room, and gave her a glare even darker than his own fur. "This is no place for the likes of you! Why don't you go back where you came from and leave us alone!"

"RANMOUSE-SAMA! Noooo... Do you hate me so?"

"Duh! Who wouldn't hate a selfish woman, who can't even see how much in love we are? You me right off my cheese!"

"But ...I can't go back out there!"

"Fine! Follow me, I'll show ya th' back way!" Taking her through the tiny house, he showed her into the kitchen. "Here we are, and out ya go!" With that, he grabbed her by her night gown, kicking her through the door, and out into the abyss.

"AIIIIIIYEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Looking down, there was nothing but blackness, and soon there was nothing else as far as she could see.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kodachi awoke to find herself still barely taller than the blades of grass that surrounded her. Standing up, she surveyed her surroundings, looking for a sign, and it did not take her long to find one. The first thing she saw as she turned around, was a large one that read, 'Saint Hebereke's School for Girls'! She was at school! But how was she going to go to class like this? As if being tiny was not bad enough, still being in her negligee was not how she wanted to attend classes!

As she made her way though the jungle of grass toward the building, she remembered the pouch that the caterpillar had thrown to her after turning into a butterfly. Opening the small bag, she wondered what magical thing might be found within to help her in her moment of crisis, and inside she found a small scrap of paper. On the paper, there was a single word written in the Latin alphabet. She had studied English, but the characters did not form any word she knew, and she struggled trying to wrap her tongue around it. "Inyukchuk?"

As she read the word, her body began to tingle, expanding until she had regained her proper stature. She was so overjoyed that she barely even minded when she looked down and discovered that her garment had not grown with her, and had been shredded in the process. ...That was until she realized that it meant that she was still out front of the school, naked, and fully visible to everyone else present! "EEEEEEEEEK!"

After calling attention to herself and alerting everyone to her presence, she did her best to cover herself with her hands as she ran for the locker room, hoping she had a spare outfit of some kind in her waiting for her there...

Everywhere she went, people pointed, stared, and laughed at her, but no one would help her. The taunts were growing stronger as she ran, and she almost wished that she was small again! She certainly felt tiny in many ways at that moment at any rate.

By the time she had arrived at her goal, she was so mortified that she almost wanted to simply crawl into a hole and hide forever ...however she managed to pull herself to the showers. As the warm water washed away her stress, the room seemed to fill with bubbles, rubbing her all over. She felt as if she were floating in the land of bubbles, and she enjoyed it VERY much. Along with the bubbles, it almost felt as if a pair of small hands were rubbing her all over, and as they ran down her spine, she felt as if something inside of her brake, and the floodgates were released. "OOOOOOOOOHHOHOHOHOHOoooo YES!"

"Now that is my girl. Are you feeling better?"

"Oh yes, thank you."

"I am glad that I could help..." Leaning down, she kissed herself on the cheek.

"I do not suppose you could gather some clothes from our locker?"

Her already wicked grin, gained a bit more of a sinister glint. "Yes, about that ...our friend was here earlier and burned everything..."

"But, I cannot go out there like this!"

"Why not? You already did it once..."

"If you think it is so easy, give my your clothes, and YOU go out there like that!"

"I would, Darling, but would that not just be the same thing? It is all the same to me, I am comfortable in our skin, but you should be as well.'

"But, everyone will make fun of me!"

"Why would they? We are gorgeous! Anyone who would ridicule our body is simply jealous!"

"Well, maybe, but ...wait, that does not seem correct-..."

Without waiting for her to finish, the sultry doppelganger kicked her out through the double doors. "Now, go out there and get to class! People are waiting for you..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Flailing as she stumbled into a classroom, she could not understand how she had gotten there so quickly. Looking around, things did not exactly look like HER classroom, but she could not figure out why that was the case.

"Finally, our new student arrives. Would you like to introduce yourself to the class, Miss. Kuno?"

Turning around, she wrote her name on the chalkboard. "Gu-Good morning!" Bowing to the class, she saw a number of familiar faces. "I am Kodachi Kuno. I am sixteen years old, and I enjoy gymnastics. Please, take good care of me!"

She was receiving evil glares from all of the young women in the class while all but one of the boys were openly gawking at her. She felt some regret that the only person who was NOT staring at her, was Ranma, who was watching something through the window. There were few open seats, and she was hoping to get the one next to the 'pig-tailed' young man, partially due to it being in the back of the room.

After licking a lollipop, the tiny teacher pointed toward her desired seat, and spoke. "You can sit back there next to Mister Saotome ...later. For now, because you were late, you need to go stand in the hall!"

"WHAT?" As she protested, the female half of the class cheered, while the male half jeered their loss, many of them hoping to get thrown out with her for being rowdy.

"If you are going to talk back to me, you can hold two buckets like a boy, with your arms out to your sides, so everyone can see your flat chest!" She spoke without the slightest hint of irony due to her diminutive stature.

"That's what you get, dressing like that, you stupid bimbo!" As Akane shouted, many of the other girls joined her in shouting insults.

"Well, if you would rather, we could use you to teach about the human anatomy, and reproduction."

"Would Ranma-sama be helping?"

"No!"

"Then I will go hold the bucket, thank you very much for giving me a choice."

"As long as you understand, now go, so we can get back to homeroom."

Dejected, Kodachi moved toward the exit, uncertain how she would make it through the day. As she went back into the hallway...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Looking down, Kodachi found herself dressed for a winter expedition to one of the poles, however she was on a beach ...and sweltering. As she began to strip off the unneeded layers, she looked around to see that she was on an island, and surrounded by watermelon! Not having a bathing suit, and not seeing anyone else around, she did not stop until she was down to her underwear, and ran over to grab one of the melons!

It would have been better if it had been chilled, however she was in no position to worry about it, and it still seemed rather refreshing! Not seeing any other way, she looked around for a stick, but had trouble finding one, 'they did not grow on trees after all!' For once, she almost wished her idiotic brother were there with his annoying bokken. She was about to smash the thing on a rock when she heard a familiar voice behind her.

"Ohohohohoho... So this is where you have been hiding."

"I would not say 'hiding' exactly... Do you want some?"

"NO!" Using her ribbon, she knocked the proffered watermelon out of her hands and flying out into the ocean.

"Awww... That was not very nice."

"I never said that I was. Now, lick my feet! Since you came to the beach here, they are all nice and covered in sand, and I want them spotless!"

"Well, I do not think-..."

"Who asked a fool like you to think? Your job is the cleaning!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

The small cottage was filthy as Kodachi frantically tried to clean, it seemed that no matter how much work she did, nothing stayed spotless for long. The broom handle had indentions from where her fingers were always wrapped around it, and her palms had blisters upon their blisters. Looking around the room at state in which her sisters had left the house, she let out a sigh. While she did not wish any harm to befall them, there were times in which she wished that others could see the same side of them that she did.

She kept sweeping as she occasionally attended their soup pot. It was a rich broth that she had seasoned with things from her own garden, and the room was filled with the delicious aroma. Smelling the food as she heard the singing of the birds at her window, she began to dance and whistle while she worked.

"What are you so happy about?"

"Did you find a boy?"

Eyes wide, she denied the accusation. "Of course not! How would I find the time?"

"Is not the dog good enough for you anyway? Why not just kiss your boyfriend now? Here, Shiro! There's the mutt, now show us what you two do when you are alone!"

"...!"

"Ohohohoho... Sometimes you two are just too much!"

"What is the matter, did the lovebirds have a fight? Did you fall out of puppy love?"

"I... I... ...!"

"Oh fine, if you are not going to entertain us, then at least get dinner ready while we go get our bath."

"We must look our best for the ball!"

'Ball? What ball?' The look upon her face spoke volumes.

"Oh? Did we not tell you?"

"There is a ball celebrating the handsome prince Saotome's birthday!"

"All of the women in the kingdom will be there, and the best one will be chosen!"

"For what?"

"Marriage, you idiot! Do you not want to marry the prince?"

"Of course I do!"

"Well, too bad! It is going to be me! OHhohohohoho...!" Toying with the whip in her hands, she grinned wickedly.

"As if! Who would pick you, when 'I' am available?" Posing seductively, she ran her hands down her sides. "The prince is such a handsome man!"

"...That I can beat endlessly!"

"Oh no! That is not nice!"

"I keep telling you that I am not! Now, get to work! Nobody wants you around anyway..."

"Oh I cannot wait for all of the dancing!" The pair of sisters talked and laughed as they climbed the stairs from the main room, and headed toward their rooms.

"Oh, it is just no use ...with all of this work, I will never get to go. It is not as if I have a thing to wear..." Without hesitation, but with much practice, she swept all of the dust into a pile, and out the door in a moment before hurrying back to the kitchen as she grabbed the dishes to set the table. Her body moving on instinct, her mind having long since drifted off into happier daydreams.

She had no idea how much time had passed when a voice floated in on the breeze, growing closer with each lyric. "Salagadoola, mechicka boola... Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo... Put them together and what have you got? Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!"

"Sister?"

"Who were you expecting, your fairy godmother?" Nonchalantly walking into the room, she handed over a nice gown. "I brought this for you."

"You mean...?"

"Yes, now we can all go to the ball together. Sorry about before, you know how easily I get distracted ...but don't expect me to go easy on you when it comes to the prince!"

"No, of course not, but thank you so much for giving me this chance!" Grabbing the dress, she ran for her room.

"Oh no, not on my watch."

Just as she had gotten to the top of the stairs, a foot shot out, tripping her, and causing her to stumble back down, unceremoniously hitting her head on the wall as she landed.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"How do you do? I ...see you've met my ...faithful, handyman." Dressed in black, lacy lingerie, the wicked wench glared down at the others gathered before her.

"Good evening, Sasuke."

"Hello..." The little ninja looked up at her, his clumsy movements calling attention to the hump on his back.

"What are you doing here?"

Before he could answer, her sexy doppelganger stepped forward and started singing. "I've been making a man ...with long hair and a tan, who's good for relieving my, sexual, tension! I'm just a sweet rhythmic gymnast, from Saint Hebereke, women's, hiiiigh ...schooool! Oho! Hit it! hit it! I'm just a sweet rhythmic gymnast..."

"Sweet rhythmic gymnast..."

Seeing the song and dance number starting, Kodachi made a break for the door, and out of the mansion.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Choose, your destiny!"

"Humm?" Kodachi wondered where the vice had originated ...and why she was suddenly in what appeared to be an old Roman style Colosseum.

"Round one, FIGHT!" The disembodied voice echoed around the stadium.

A disorientated Kodachi took in her surroundings, wondering why she was facing off with herself while the audience called for blood! "What ...what is happening?"

"Is it not obvious? Were you not listening? We are fighting, you fool!"

"But ...why?"

"If you are not going to start, then I will! GET OVER HERE!" Lashing out with her ribbon, she ensnared her opponent, pulling her closer before landing a strong uppercut.

"TOASTY!" She had no idea from where the announcer's voice came, but did not have time to worry about it.

Having crashed through the ceiling, Kodachi found herself on another floor, her doppelganger having followed her to the next level. "Oh no, whatever will I do?"

"All you need to do is DIE!" Reaching back, she tossed in one of her exploding bombs.

"Not on my watch!" At the last moment, yet another Kodachi interposed herself between them, bouncing the bomb off of her bottom, and back toward its source. While the Black Rose was avoiding being blown up by her own explosive, she turned back toward the injured one. "Run along, I've got this."

"Are you certain?"

"You just stay safe." Turning around, she smiled. "Is that any way to act? Why not just have fun?"

"This is fun for me! I suppose it matters not which of you I dispose of first, both of you need to go. Come when you are ready. OHHOHOhohohoho..."

"Thank you, I will." Reaching into her cleavage, she pulled out metal hoops, tossing them out like a chain, and striking the other her square in the chest.

"A brazen move, from one equally shamelessness." Almost too quickly to see, she launched a bowling pin at her midsection.

Doing a forward cartwheel, she arched over the pin as it flew harmlessly under her. "One as audacious as you, should not talk, your highness." Barely managing to avoid the follow-up sweep kick, she wrapped her legs around the other girl's neck, tossing her into the air.

"Those who live only for carnal desires, should know their place!" A flurry of whip-like attacks rained down upon her foe.

Her guard penetrated by the ribbon strikes, she was unable to counter the long range attack. "My 'place', is whatever 'position' I choose!"

Seeing her twin take to one knee, she started to gloat. "No, you always were, and always will be, under me!"

"Sorry, as kinky as I am, you just do not do it for me any more." Taking a rose out of her hair, she tossed it like a dart.

"Is that so?" Casually, she dodged the projectile. "Do you really think that what you want matters to me in the slightest?" She spun a hoop around her wrist, above her head.

"And that is why you need to be stopped, you are ruining all of my fun!" Knowing the secret of the razor hoop, she caught it through the center, and redirected it back toward its owner.

"You will not have to worry about that for very long, I will ruin far more than that very soon! OHHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH!" From seemingly nowhere, she pulled out a bowling pin, many times larger than herself, batting away the hoop and gymnast along with it!

Flying through the air, she breathed a sigh of relief as she remembered that there were no 'ring outs' in this game! Twisting her body in the air, she rebounded off of the wall, and flew back toward the center of the room, knocking the oversized club out of her hand and across the room. The pair clashed in the center with a flurry of fists and feet, neither of them able to land a solid blow.

As the fight waged onward, Kodachi watched in horror, glad that she was not involved, yet scared that someone would get hurt and then she would be next. As she cowered out of sight, she wondered why they could not just get along! She had not felt this small since she was a child and her mother died, leaving them with their unstable father, who also left them soon after. If that had not been enough, her buffoon of a brother had gotten himself injured to the point of not being able to move for some time, and then her beloved had given her 'that look' before he had walked out of her life as well!

Would he ever return to her? Could she blame him if he did not? Was everyone in her life destined to leave her? She did not want to be alone, but even her 'sisters' seemed bound and determined to leave her as well. Perhaps it would be better to just give in, and let her win... SHE would not be afraid of being lonely! Though if she did that, she would also never get to be happy again, never get to have friends or a love life, did she want to give up that opportunity forever?

"...The dreaded attack of ...ONE THOUSAND KNIVES!" The change in their familiar technique, surprised them all, almost as much as the bloodied form that flew across the room and crumpled in the corner near her.

"Oh no!" Kodachi quickly took her in her arms, and tried to stop the bleeding.

"Why are you still here? I though I told you to run away." Coughing, she looked into her worried face.

"How could I? There is no door!"

"You do not need a door here, have you not realized that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, Honey, this is not real, it is all in our head, you can go anywhere, and do anything. You simply need the desire."

"Then, you are going to be okay?"

"Oh, no, I am dying, I do not have much time left, but before I go, I need you to be strong, for me."

"What? No! You cannot leave me too!"

"You do not need to worry, I will always be a part of you."

"How?"

"One last thing... Dying is not fun!" Without waiting for a reaction, the pale young woman leaned closer as her blood red lips touched those of her other self.

"Mrph...!" A bright light radiated from between the pair, before encompassing them both, and filling the room.

The feeling of growing was not entirely unknown to Kodachi, but when the illumination faded she was glad to see that her now larger self was not nude this time! However, she had no idea what to make of the strange armor she seemed to be wearing.

"One, two, 'Dachi's coming for you..." The scraping sounds of metal nails on a chalkboard screeched in her ears.

"Three, four, better lock the door..." She turned to see herself slowly advancing on her position while flexing her bladed fingers.

"Five, six, grab your crucifix..." She wore a bladed glove on her right hand, though the battered old fedora and sweater did little to hide her badly burnt and scarred skin.

"Seven, eight, better stay up late..." Kodachi found that while she 'was' frightened, it was not as bad as she would have expected, though she was uncertain as to what she might be able to do.

"Nine, ten, never sleep again..." As she closed the gap, her clawed hand rose into the air, preparing to strike.

With barely a thought, her suit reacted to her instinctive desires, activating jets in her feet, propelling her backwards, and away from her tormentor. "Whoa!"

"You think that will help you escape, Kusojou?"

"No, get away from me!"

"Believe me, I am trying to do just that! Just hold still for a moment!"

No idea what to do, Kodachi waved her hands in front of her face.

"Your eyes say 'no, no', but my mouth says 'yes, yes'." Closing the gap, she moved to brush her arms aside, as she planned on taking her time pealing off the armor, and then her skin!

"STOOOOOOOP!" Her hands refused to move, and the more she resisted, the warmer they grew before exploding in a burst of flames.

An electronic voice spoke into her ear. "Konbanwa, Ojou-sama. What is your next command?"

"What? Who are you?"

"Yes, Mistress, I will introduce myself. I am the Repurposed Offence System Enhancer, or R.O.S.E. for short. I am here to assist you, in any task that you may need. What is your next command?"

"What can you do?"

"Yes, Ma'am, would you like to read the owner's manual? We can start with volume one, and at an average reading speed, you could be done in three days."

"I do not think we have time for that, the other one will be back soon."

"Parameters accepted. Emergency protocols initiated. Stand by for data transfer..." The whirring sound of various systems activating roared in her ear, and suddenly she felt as if she were being mildly electrocuted, though it was not entirely unpleasant to the young gymnast.

She opened her mouth to speak, but the only thing that came out sounded like one of those fax machines! The moment she heard the squelching noise, she slapped her hands over her mouth, or at least where her mouth would be under the armor. She began to panic, wondering what was happening to her.

"File transfer complete, with zero point zero two percent packet loss. What is your next command?"

"What did you just... Oh my!" Awareness slowly washed over her, and many things came into focus for the confused young woman. "I understand."

As her senses recovered, a voice filtered into her ears. "...you hiding? I am coming for you..."

With her mind much clearer than she could ever remember, Kodachi was in control, waiting patiently for the other 'her' to enter her field of vision.

"And when I find you ...you DIE!"

Waiting for the moment the light reflected off of her clawed hand, Kodachi lashed out with her arms, causing rose vines to shoot out of the palms of her hands, and act like spiked whips. "It is too late, I know your secret now. You are not real, you are not alive, and this ...this is all a DREAM!"

Surprised by the sudden onslaught, she jumped back, taking shelter behind the wall as reason started to fail her, the pain of being burned and the frustration of her prey becoming the predator becoming too much to bare. Pulling out a sword and shield, she ran back around the corner, ready to attack. "You what? You think you can give me orders? I will show you who is the dominant personality!"

"You have no power here!" Seeing her rose whips blocked by the shield, she allowed them to fade from existence.

"Is that what you think?" With a flick of her wrist, her sword extended, and moved about like a whip, with a mind of it's own. The snake-like weapon, slashed through the air with a screeching sound.

Allowing the flexible blade to wrap around her forearm, Kodachi interrupted the attack. "For my will is as strong as yours and my kingdom is as great! You have no power over me!" Clenching her fist, she made the whip-sword vanish as well, before turning her attention back toward her 'evil twin'.

"WHAT? How did you do that?"

"I told you, I am the original, and 'I' am taking back MY life!"

"You cannot stop me! You will fall ...and everything will be MINE! Just as it 'should' be! You will regret making me angry, you won't like me when I am angry." Stepping back, she grew larger as she started to summon a new weapon. "Come! It is time to face your DOOM!"

"Gomenasai, imouto-san." The sudden diffusion of light went from filling the room, to a more focused beam, completely engulfing her opponent with a scream!

As the radiant light faded away, all that remained were the sweater, hat, and bladed glove. "All vital signs ...Terminated. We are alone."

"Thank you for all of your help, Rose, I could not have done it without you!"

"You are welcome, Ojou-sama, I am glad that we were finally able to have fun together! I guess this is finally 'sayonara'..."

"What? You mean, Rose is YOU? Wait! Do not-..."

"Hey, now no need to cry, I always was, and always 'will' be, a part of you. Now, go out there, and make me proud of you! It is time for you to finally, 'Wake up'!"

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"...Please, wake up."

Kodachi found herself back in her room and lying in her bed. It was difficult to move, but she looked around to find that Sasuke was cleaning up from her apparent sponge bath. Seeing his diligence, she remembered the food he had been trying to feed her, and her stomach growled. She tried to speak, wanting to apologize for wasting food and thank him for caring for her, but her voice was far too hoarse.

"Ojou-sama! You are awake! May I bring you more tea, or perhaps some rice porridge?" Despite the hopeful tone in his voice betraying his concern, he could not believe his eyes when she smiled and nodded back at him! "Yes! YES MISTRESS! I will be right back!"

True to his word, the small man took less than a minute to return with his loaded tray. The more he fed her, the better she felt, and her voice slowly returned to her. "Arigato-gozaimasu, Sasuke. Could I get some more?"

"OF COURSE! THANK YOU, KODACHI-SAMA! I am glad that you are starting to feel better, it's been so long!"

Watching as he ran back to the kitchen, she was grateful to have such a loyal servant. Perhaps she ought to see about paying him...

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NOTES

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Among others, Kodachi's dream sequence was primarily inspired by the movie 'Paprika', which in turn inspired the movie Inception, which actually got the live-action version of Paprika canceled... I had conceived the scene as a Dreamscape/Matrix/Inception-like sequence where she jumped from one parody to another, and then I remembered Paprika, and it fit all too well, so I took the intro of that movie, and warped it to fit Kodachi's issues here. Again, apologies to anyone who thought I handled that whole ordeal poorly, it just kind of happened that way, I was trying to do it in the style of how it might have been handled in this and other stories of the day, not reality.

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My apologies to anyone who was disappointed with this short break, but what will happen when we return to our regular story next time? You will have to come back for, 'Fever Dreams', or 'Our Regularly Scheduled Program', to find out!


	39. Chapter 39

Sorry gang, this one took a bit longer, had to add another missed scene.

Disclaimer: 1) a renunciation of any claim to, or connection with; 2) disavowal; 3) a statement made to save one's own backside.

Chapter 39 - Gifts for Those Who Gab

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An excited young woman practically bounced as she and her companion waited for the arrival of a late night train. The older woman sat on one of the nearby benches, watching the younger woman, amazed at her level of energy for that time of evening. "Are you not tired, after everything we have done these last two days?"

"Yes, Okaa-sama's training make tired, but Shampoo is too too happy for return of Ranma!"

"Oh, to be young again..." Nodoka let out a sigh, lamenting her lost stamina.

Wanting to break the silence, she tried to reassure her tutor. "Mush thanks for training Shampoo, will do best!"

"I am certain that you will my dear, you learn more quickly than anyone else I have seen."

"Shampoo too too eager learn what 'Honored Mother' have teach!"

"Yes, I could tell, you seem to have very few of the same problems as your peers."

"Now Stupid Mouse no bother Shampo, only have one problem, and do anything make problem go away."

"And what problem is that, Dear?"

"Need get Ranma agree is marry to Shampoo, and do duty of husband!"

"I know how you feel, I know how you feel. Let me give you a piece of advice, if your husband wants to go on a long training trip, say 'no'."

"If Airen want go on trip for training, Shampoo no let go ...alone!"

"Well, I suppose that is an option, if you do not mind it. I am not certain I could have stayed away from the comforts of home for that long myself. I suppose I am far to fond of baths. ...Not that my husband would have allowed me to come, even if I had wanted to do so."

"No is good, let husband have too too much control."

When she was younger, she had such different ideas of what was 'proper' for a wife, which was why she insisted on 'training' the next generation. Just because the word 'kanai' meant 'inside the house', did not mean that a 'wife's control' only existed within the confines of the home. "That may be true, however-..."

"Aiyaa! Is right train, yes?"

"Yes, I believe that you are correct."

"Ooooo! So happy!" Jumping up and down, she pointed at the rapidly approaching train. "Airen and Onee-chan final return!"

"Oh dear, you should not put it that way." As the cars rolled to a stop, the interior lights came on, and they could see a sleeping Kasumi, leaning on Ranma's shoulder. "Oh ho ho, it seems our Kasumi-chan is wearing one of the dresses we packed!"

"Aiyaaa, and husband do 'homework', Shampoo no can wait for turn! Have too too much for make-up time!"

Nodoka was starting to find that she had far more in common with the foreign girl than she had originally thought, as her mind drifted to what she would do, the next time she caught up with her wayward husband. "I can certainly relate to that feeling..."

"Okaa-sama want hugging time with Ranma too?"

"Well, as a mother who has not spent time with their son in many years, of course I do, however that was not what I meant."

"Well, Shampoo have all night, so if want go first ...is okay."

"What? No, no, that is fine, you go right ahead my dear."

"OKAY! SHAMPOO DO!"

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Ranma awoke to the rumbling train coming to a stop, and blushed as he noticed how cute Kasumi looked sleeping in his arms. They had needed to transfer trains in Shinjuku, but he did not remember much beyond that, they must have gone right to sleep after the long day. "Ka- Kasumi-chan? We're here, ya awake?"

"Oh... Mmmm, oh my... 'Good morning', Anata, thank you for waking me." Realizing that their short vacation was now over, Kasumi's groggy brain realized something. "Perhaps we ought to go back to using our normal names, do you agree, Ranma-kun?"

He nervously chuckled in embarrassment at his social 'faux pas'. "Oh, yeah, sure, yer right, Kasumi-san."

A hint of disappointment filled the young woman at the sound of her name, but she did not allow herself to get hung up on it. Yes, well then, shall we go?"

Remembering what his mother had told him, he would not allow Kasumi to even try to carry her own suitcase, as they shuffled off of the train.

"Thank you, Ranma-kun, you really are too kind."

"Naw, it ain't nuthin'..." He turned his head away from her as he blushed.

As they exited the car, the excited ki was the only warning he had before he had been tackled in the traditional Nujie Zu greeting amongst close friends and family. "RANMA!"

Barely managing to maintain his footing, Ranma did his best not to drop their luggage. "Hey Shampoo, anything fun happen while we were gone?" Ranma instantly regretted his question, instinctively cringing at the sly look that crept across her face as she looked up into his eyes.

"Shampoo show Ranma too too fun time later..."

"Can we maybe, get home before we do this stuff?" Ranma instantly regretted his choice of words.

"AIIIYAAAA! Ranma want take Shampoo home for do 'fun stuff'! Shampoo sooooo happy!"

"Uhhhh...?"

"I suppose that trip was good for you after all, I am glad you were able to go. Good job, Kasumi-chan, maybe we should leave the two of you alone together more often."

"Oh my..." The young woman grew flush as she imagined more time 'alone' with Ranma.

"Shampoo want turn next, is okay, yes?"

Nodoka looked at the hopeful expression on the young woman embracing her son so tightly, and smiled. "I think that it is only fair to give each of you a turn, though I do not believe I could win big at the market like that again." Seeing her face fall, Nodoka simply shook her head. "Do not fret, we will think of something, but first, might I say, you look lovely this evening, Kasumi-chan."

Having so much visible skin made Kasumi's full body blush all the more apparent as she implored the pair, asking them 'why' with her eyes.

"Is true, Kasumi-onee-chan look too too good, even Airen think so, yes?"

Ranma looked down, avoiding eye contact as he shyly nodded.

Still attached to him, she tried to throw her voice. "Is true, Ranma think Onee-chan look almost as good as Shampoo in dress!"

In order to avoid further embarrassment, Kasumi played along with the joke, hoping to deflect the complements. "Is that so ...'little brother'? You think your 'onee-chan' is 'almost' as cute as Shampoo?"

Seeing the attention shifting his way, Ranma started to panic, though it was difficult to move under their stares, Shampoo's glomp notwithstanding. "No! ...I mean, I didn't say that!"

"Are you certain? It sounded SOOO much like you?" Her eyes giggled long before her voice did.

"I'm pretty sure..."

"Then why do you not tell us what you really think then, my son?"

Quickly wilting under their gaze, Ranma sputtered and stammered out his answer. "Um, well ...I, I, think ya both look really good in 'em, ya know? It ain't like I could choose who looks better."

Nodoka shook off the minor annoyance at not having been included, but took solace in her son complementing his girlfriends, even if it did have to be dragged out of him. She had the strangest feeling that if she said anything about it, that it would start some big thing, that while fun, would distract from what she wanted to accomplish. She simply tried to focus on how 'manly' it was for him to 'chose both of them' like that. "Fine then, shall we be on our way?"

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Nodoka was getting a bit frustrated, the only information about the trip they have been able to get out of them was about what sights they had seen, to which museums and art galleries they had gone, and something about an obstacle course, yet none of the details she had wanted to hear! They had arrived home without any juicy gossip, and it was starting to make her wonder if she was EVER going to have any grandchildren!

As they entered the house, Ranma relaxed his senses a bit with a sigh of relief, mentally exhausted from the long trip, being ever vigilant while guarding Kasumi from the prying eyes, or worse, of others. "Tadaima!"

"It was a nice trip, but it is good to be home again."

"We kept the bath warm for you, so you both can go in as soon as you are ready."

"Aw Ma, it's been a long trip, I jus' wanna get ta bed, ya know?"

"Oh my..."

"Aiyaaa! Husband too too eager, yes?"

"Well now, just do not be like your father and go right to sleep! I will see you in the morning."

Kasumi smiled, yet felt something tug at her heartstrings, and as Ranma turned to walk toward his room, she gently laid her hand upon his shoulder.

"What is it, Kasumi ...-san?" As he turned back, she would not meet his eyes, fidgeting as her gaze remained downcast.

"Well, you see, I was thinking that it might be rude of us to join the others who were already sleeping, we might wake them..." Kasumi's index fingers pressed against each other in her shyness.

"Aiyaaaa... Is true, those say need sleep for school, that why no come meet at train!" Shampoo jumped at the chance to help push the others out of the picture.

"...I guess so."

"Shampoo's futon is far too small, so would you prefer my room, or your mother's?"

"Well, th' bed in yer room IS pretty big..." He found the thought of keeping the stack of bodies to a minimum appealing and reluctantly went along with the idea.

"Oh my yes, the frame that came with the room was beautiful, though I did need to get a new mattress..." She was not exactly certain why she had suggested such a thing, but she was not what one would call 'upset' about the results either.

"Is way should be every night, yes? Ranma be too too happy with smaller pile in bed, yes?"

"Oh my..."

"Well, I..." Both of their minds flashed back to the prior evening, with the two of them alone, causing them to glance at each other before quickly looking away and blushing. "I mean, I guess I mean..."

"Airen have such way with word..."

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Ranma awoke to the feeling of floating on a cloud of marshmallows, far different than the hard floors and thin futons to which he was accustomed. As if the softness of the thick mattress had not been enough, he had the combined effect of Shampoo and Kasumi curled around each of his arms. After a few moments of almost panicked confusion, the memories of how the pair had all but dragged him to Kasumi's room, where his exhaustion had caught up with him. Normally there had been so many people in his bed, that he had always been able to escape their embrace without disturbing anyone too much. However, missing the leverage of the floor and the other limbs to help, he could not find a way to work himself free without waking the others.

Kasumi's breathing changed slightly, and he realized he was too late anyway. "...Morning?"

Kasumi's voice was just as soft, and equally confused. "Anata? You are not trying to get up without me, are you?" She hated to admit it, but she had grown a bit dependent upon Ranma's abundant body heat while sleeping, and did not want him to leave her before she was ready, despite knowing how selfish it was.

"I didn't wanna wake ya yet, but I thought we weren't gonna talk like that any more..."

"Oh my. You are correct, but it appears to be all right, Shampoo is still asleep, and so we are alone..." Kasumi had become a bit more ...'comfortable' with using the nicknames than she thought was appropriate, given their situation, but she was finding it difficult to resist. It had just been so fun, and nice to be so close to someone, in many ways it had been like a dream come true! She knew it was not real, but on a certain level she did not want to stop pretending... "Besides, did you not promise me that you would allow me to join your morning practice sessions now?"

"Well, yeah, I guess I did..." Ranma's voice dropped into a hushed whisper. "...'Sumi-chan." He turned away, blushing as well, relieved to see that Shampoo was still sleeping, though the adorable look on her porcelain-like face, made him gasp lightly, glad that her nude form was yet covered. Few could deny the young Chinese warrior's beauty, especially while she slept so peacefully.

"Aiyaaa... ...mmmmmm... ...Airen... ...come fly to see Shampoo... ...wo ai ni! ...Ranma... ...make SO happy!"

Ranma turned quickly back, somewhat relieved that he could not see into her dream... and the way she was gyrating her hips on his leg made him all the more nervous. "But ...um, I'm goin' ta need ta get up pretty soon, one way, er another..."

"...'Get ...up'?" Kasumi had a flash of memory from their night in the ryokan, when she had done as Shampoo had asked, and blushed furiously at the less than unpleasant evening. After another moment, she wondered if Shampoo had done that, last night ...in HER bed? "...Oh my..." Her grin broadened ever so slightly. '...how dirty. I suppose I need to be certain to be extra careful when I wash the linens this morning...'

"Ya know, what all guys gotta do when they get up in th' mornin'."

"Oh, oh my! I ...suppose I could ...'assist' you instead ...this once, if you..." Kasumi swallowed the embarrassment that had caught in her throat in anticipation of what she was imagining. "...need it." She felt her face burning, and knew that her whole body was likely shades of red as she lightly licked her lips. She felt a bit odd about it for a number of reasons, but it was all right, she had Shampoo's permission, did she not? It was just to 'help', after all, and Shampoo would do it herself if she was awake...

"Really? Hey, thanks, if ya could just help me get away from Shampoo fer a moment, so I can get ta th' can, I 'really' gotta hurry."

Kasumi was filled with equal parts relief and disappointment, and all the more embarrassed at where he mind had gone, when he had not thought anything of the sort. She was starting to understand how her younger sister might have always thought he was up to something... "Oh my, yes, yes of course..."

Between them, they had managed to substitute a pillow for Ranma, before he made his escape, racing down the hall and out of sight. Kasumi sat on the edge of the bed, letting out a deep sigh as she watched him run, blushing as she paid special note to the fact that he continued to sleep in his boxers ...and what a sight it was for bleary eyes first thing in the morning.

"If only I had done my duty and taken responsibility for the engagement as the eldest should..." Muttering under her breath, Kasumi let out a sigh as she rose to start her day...

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Her heat source gone, Shampoo slowly roused herself to an empty room, quickly getting dressed and setting off in search of her 'husband'. "Airen give slip again... Maybe is stay up too too late, but feel too too nice sleep with Ranma!"

As she opened the door, she almost bumped into a gasping Nodoka, who held her hand over her chest and she breathed deeply. "Oh... Oh... goodness! I am glad you are finally awake. I was just coming to check in, you had me starting to worry!"

"Good morning honored Mother! See where husband go?" The young warrior favored Ranma's mother with a winning smile, which belayed the minor annoyance tugging at her heart over having been left alone.

"Certainly, and thank you my dear, and congratulations, I am happy that you enjoyed yourself! I believe they are in the backyard, practicing something or another."

"Thank you, Mother." With a bow, she bounced away, heading toward the backdoor.

"My son is SO manly!"

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Even before she reached the back door, Shampoo felt the battle auras and heard the sounds of light combat. Upon opening the door, she saw the two of them, practicing with wooden dummies, with Kasumi stealing glances at Ranma, trying hard to copy everything he was doing, while occasionally stumbling. Shampoo was momentarily paused by the look of admiration on her friend's face, though she did not allow it to stop her for long, as she could relate to the feelings. Without another moment's hesitation, she stepped forward, hoping to join them. "Nihao Ranma, today beautiful!"

"Oh, hey, 'morning, Shampoo."

"Good morning Shampoo-chan, did you want to take part in our morning training?"

Seeing them gaze happily toward her, she bounced for joy, it really was a good morning to be alive! "Aiyaaa! So happy!"

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Ukyo awoke, being held by her shrunken homeroom teacher, who had kicked off their blanket, covering her fishbowl, and was disappointed that they were alone... Using her family's body substitution technique, she swapped herself out with a pillow before carefully removing the blanket, making certain not to spill any of the water. "Why didn'tcha just leave it on th' desk?"

She watched with wonder, continually amazed by how her body grew from its pubescent form, into a voluptuous woman in an instant, wishing that do much the same. She was surprised that it was not painful, like a lycanthrope, but then she supposed the same could be said for any of the curse victims, however Hinako's change was not due to a magical curse, it was ki manipulation. Looking down at her own chest, she wondered if there was a technique she could learn...

She had hoped that after the long trip, Ranma at least would have stayed in bed longer with her ...if he had even joined them at all that night! That thought had made the young chef wonder as she searched the room, looking for any sign that they had come home, and not seeing anything else out of place from the night before.

Still in her panties and loose tanktop, Ukyo ran from the room, searching for any sign of Ranma or the others, and quickly tracked him out to the backyard. "Ranchan..." Happy to have seen that he returned safely, her heart sank as she saw him 'playing' happily with the others. "...yer back." She just stood there, mouth agape, wishing he had let her know.

"Oh, hey Ucchan, yer up early." Ranma waved as he saw his friend walk into the yard.

"A' course, Ah ain't seen ya in so long! Why didn't ya let meh know ya were back?"

"Ya were sleepin', I didn't wanna wake ya."

"If care so much, why no come for train?" With their training paused, Shampoo turned toward the latecomer.

Ukyo's eyes lowered to look at the ground as her voice lowered near the end of her statement. "Ah was waitin' fer ya ta come ta bed ...an' wake us up."

"Look like still is wait, is sure that what want wear outside?" Shampoo pointed at the other girl with a giggle with her sing-song voice.

Quickly looking down at herself, Ukyo 'Eeeped!' and ran back inside the house without a moment to waste.

"Well, that was certainly ...unusual." Kasumi followed her with her eyes as the younger girl ran away from them, wondering what she had been thinking.

"Ucchan?"

Shampoo stuck out her tongue at her retreating foe. "No is like no see before..."

Kasumi could understand, but did wonder why she had come out dressed like that in the first place if she had a problem with it. "Well, some people are shy about such things."

"Shampoo understand, maybe be shy too, if almost flat as board..."

"That is not nice!" Kasumi chided her friend, not liking to see anyone being made fun of for their appearance.

"Is okay, Flat-one no is here to hear. No will start fight."

"That does not make it 'all right'!"

Acknowledging the insult, would mean that Ranma would have to mention, or at least contemplate Ukyo's bust, and he had learned a while back that talking about a woman's chest was something he should avoid at ALL costs, even thinking about it seemed to get him in trouble, so he quickly tried to change the subject. "Hey, Shampoo, how ya doin' with that new move?"

"Aiyaa! Shampoo no show?"

"Ya might have, but it's been a while, how ya doin' now, any better with it?" Ranma managed to hide the light desperation in his voice, and affect a friendly and interested tone.

Loving the attention, and any opportunity to show off for him, she jumped at the chance. "Happy show anything Ranma want see so bad!" Winking, she gave him a very unsubtle smile.

Her flirty implications going mostly over his head, Ranma had to admit, he was curious to see how much she had progressed. "Just a sec., let me set you up a target over here!"

Hopping back and forth from foot to foot, she waited for Ranma to return to her side. Grinning from ear to ear, she formed the ball of energy between her hands. As it grew, a short, wispy tail formed at one end, much like a comet. Holding onto this tail, she reached back, and flung it toward the training dummy Ranma had erected for her. "Bonbori Blast!"

The glowing pink meteor rocketed toward its target, exploding in a fiery detonation, leaving a small crater where the stick figure had been. Looking a bit sheepish, she turned away demurely. "Aiyaaa... Shampoo need learn hold back more!"

Impressed by the damage, Ranma let out a long whistle. "Wow! ...Wait, weren't ya doin' that one Chun Li does in th' game before?"

"No feel right, so Shampoo follow feelings, do what come natural..." She did not want to admit that seeing Ukyo make up her own had given her the sense of being inadequate.

"But, ain't yer weapon's called 'chui'?"

"But attack light up, like Japanese lantern, so Shampoo think is fun name."

"You just made that up on your own, that is very impressive Shampoo-chan. ...you say that you just followed your heart?" Something about that struck home to the tall young woman, and she started to ponder the concept.

"Hai, Onee-chan! Shampoo always trust feeling now, follow feeling led Shampoo find Ranma, and never anything make so happy!"

Kasumi tried to follow their conversation about how the technique worked, but most of it had gone over her head. Taking her time, she tried to focus on the parts of it she DID understand, and she closed her eyes, looking deep into her heart. Using her newfound senses, she searched inside her core, trying to find that 'spark' they had mentioned.

Eventually she noticed a pinhole of light well within her, and before long it exploded, filling her with a warmth not unlike cuddling with Ranma. The thought of which made her embarrassed, yet almost giddy with happiness. The more she thought about Ranma, the brighter that pleasant light grew, until it filled her entire being. Remembering what they had said, she tried to focus that light into her hands, with her palms facing each other.

"Kasumi-san, yer aura! Whoa!"

"What ...is do there?"

They both looked on with amazement as Kasumi's light pink aura glowed and condensed into the palms of her hands, before fizzling out.

"Oh fuuu...!"

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Kasumi was thrilled that she had received so much praise for her training efforts, even if she had not been able to reproduce the results she had wanted, it had not dampened her mood for the rest of the day. It had been a lovely evening, with everyone enjoying the special boiled eggs and simple puzzle-boxes they had gotten for them as souvenirs. It had taken a concerted effort on her part to refrain from passing out in the satisfaction of watching her household enjoy themselves.

They chatted about their trip as they each ate their eggs and attempted to unlock their puzzle boxes, several of them figuring them out more quickly than others. None of them had taken too long, as the most complicated ones she had given out had no more than a dozen steps to unlock, and they were discussing what they might keep in their mini-safes, when they heard the doorbell ring.

"I'll get it!" Jumping up, Kasumi ran for the door, wanting everyone else to keep having fun.

Just before she reached the handle, she heard a voice from the other side. "Don't forget, tomorrow, you have to get back out there and make me more money, Ryu-chan!" Then she heard the sound of something being smacked, followed by a light moan.

"Oh my..." With that, she opened up, revealing... "Nabiki-chan! Thank you both for making it."

"That's okay, it's not like this is far out of our way home. What did you need?"

"I was hoping you could do me a favor..."

Yen signs flashed in the middle Tendo sister's eyes, and her attitude improved considerably. "Oh, and what is it that I can do for you, my dear sister?"

"Well, Ranma-kun and I went on a trip recently, and-..."

"Oh? Do tell! When did you two get together? I want ALL of the juicy details!"

Hearing this, Nodoka ran up to them, not wanting to miss out on a single word. "Yes, yes, tell us!"

The rest of the group quickly joined them, some more eager to hear than others. "Yeah Ranchan! Ah didn't git ta hear none a' it, what exactly DID happen on this trip a' yers?"

"Hey, I told ya! We went ta museums, and stuff..."

"I should've known you didn't have it in you to do anything, in spite of being in that situation, and being with someone as easy as Kasumi-nee-chan! You need to stiffen your backbone, Saotome-kun!" Nabiki felt odd laughing alone, so elbowed Ryu in the ribs and he joined her mirth.

"Oh my..." Kasumi blushed as she was reminded of how stiff Ranma's body could get...

Ukyo backed down, relief filling her, and calming her sudden fit of jealousy. "Oh, right, Ah guess so..."

Completely ignoring the others, Ranma could not take the implied insult easily. "Hey! What'd ya mean? It ain't like I'm a chicken!"

"Says who?" Nabiki leaned in, giving him her most sardonic smile.

Ranma stood there, indignantly trying to think if he should ask someone to vouch for him, or just blurt out that he did, when he was beaten to the punch.

"Now, now, we all know that Ranma-kun is very brave. Do we not?" Kasumi looked over to see that Shampoo and Ukyo were quickly jumping to his defense.

"Is too too true!"

"Yeah!"

"Oh yeah? Then prove it! Kiss..." Nabiki quickly glanced over to see the eager faces on Shampoo and Ukyo, and could not wait to see them crushed. "...Kasumi-nee-chan!"

A collective "WHAT?" filled the room as everyone turned to see what the stunned Ranma would do.

"But, that's- ...I mean, ya know... It's just..."

"No!" Ukyo panicked, wishing that she had been wearing her 'Kasumi' costume.

"See? It's just as I told you ...'no backbone'!" Nabiki looked down her nose at the younger martial artist.

"Hey, now wait a minute!"

"It doesn't matter how much time I give, you do not have the 'balls', Saotome-kun. I'll bet you double or nothing on the last of your debt to me that you can't do it!"

While he did not feel as if he actually 'owed' her anything any longer, there was something to be said for having witnesses to an admittedly clean slate, not to mention restoring some of his honor. "Fine! Just watch me!"

"Please! Ya can't DO that! Kiss meh instead!"

"Sorry Kuonji-san, that is not the bet, you can have your fun time later. Surely you cannot begrudge my sister one silly little kiss?"

"Yeah, but..." Ukyo did not want to admit that he had not kissed her yet, an she did not want to think of what Nabiki would charge to keep that from going around school! How embarrassing would it be for them to know what she had been through, with so little progress?

"But nothing, a bet is a bet! Besides, it's not like you have anything to worry about with that ...'buck' 'buck' 'buck' ...chicken!"

"Now, Nabiki-chan, that is not very ni-... Oh, mmmmmm...?" Ranma had finally taken one too many licks to his ego, and cut Kasumi off mid-sentence. Almost everyone was momentarily surprised by his sudden forcefulness, including Ranma himself. It was not their first kiss, but it was the first time in front of so many people that he knew.

Nabiki's eyes went wide, Ukyo collapsed to her knees, Shampoo grinned as she imagined herself in Kasumi's place and made plans to do just that, while Nodoka was practically cheering with confetti, fans, and a "YATTA!"

Barely able to process what was happening, Kasumi followed her instincts and practically melted into Ranma's warm embrace, returning his kiss with everything she had. Even Ranma had been taken aback by her forcefulness, not knowing how to react at all. Time seemed to stop for the pair, as they entwined each other, lost in their own little worlds and no longer aware of what the others were saying at that moment. It was not until their lips broke contact, that they came back to their senses, blushing profusely, and no longer able to look the other in the eyes.

"Whoa! Saotome-kun, what got into you?" Nabiki was not too upset about what little she felt Ranma still owed her, she had been making enough with Ryu to meet her current needs, she was more surprised by how much the boy had improved. Perhaps, living like this was good for him after all... Besides, she decided she could take it off of what she currently owed to her sister! That seemed fair to her, it was her fault after all for letting it happen.

"Aiyaa...! Lip battle! Airen verses Kasumi-onee-chan! Winner is Onee-chan! Shampoo fight next!"

"Oh no ya don't, ya heard th' mercenary, it's MAH turn!"

Not liking the other girl's tone, nor the monicker she had just used to her face. "Watch it, Kuonji-san, you never know when you might need another ...favor, or more photogra-..."

Ukyo jumped from Ranma to put her hands over Nabiki's mouth. "HEY! What happened ta client confidentiality?"

"I did not get paid extra for that ...it requires the Platinum Star Package if you want me to forget all about a deal."

"What kind a' pictures're ya talkin' about, Ucchan?"

"NUTHIN'! IT WAS JUT' A LIL' SUMTHIN' FER A SCHOOL PROJECT! ...YEAH, THAT'S IT! HAHAHAHA!"

"Oh, no, that's not suspicious or anything..." Nabiki just shook her head, with a chuckle. 'If it were anyone but Ranma, you would be SO busted!' "Oh well, as entertaining as this is, what was it that you needed, Nee-chan?"

"Oh, oh yes, I was just hoping that, since you still go near there almost every day, that I could get you to drop off the omiyage we brought back for the family. Would you mind terribly?"

Mildly annoyed to have been chosen as a 'delivery girl', especially with not being given a gift herself, she wanted to charge full price, and if it had been anyone other than Kasumi asking, she would have done just that! Using her best jovial tone, she winked, and said, "Fine ...for family, five thousand yen."

"NABIKI-CHAN!"

"I'm just kidding! Of course I will take it... Jeeze, no need to take everything so seriously all of the time." '...I still would have liked a gift too though. I guess that shows what everyone thinks of me. Humph!' Her mood darkened a bit, even knowing she had no one to blame but herself.

"Thank you, thank you! Would you like some tea? Just follow everyone, and I will be right back with everything!" Shooing everyone back toward the Living room, before hurrying toward the kitchen.

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Tea and snacks served, Kasumi pulled out several small packages, and set them before her sister. "Thank you again, Nabiki-chan."

"Yeah, yeah, so who gets what?"

"They each have name tags, these are for the family, and this one is for you, Ryu-kun." She handed the surprised young man a small box.

"For me? Why would you get something for me?"

"Why would we not get something for the person taking care of my cute little sister?" Ignoring Nabiki's protests, Kasumi just smiled at the young man. "Go ahead and open it, it is perishable after all..."

"Oh?" Distracting Nabiki from examining the packages in front of her, everyone watched as Ryu opened the gift, to find a small box, and an even smaller book. Looking at the book, he saw what he needed to do, and managed to open the puzzle box to find an black egg. "...And what is this?"

"Kuro-tamago, the legendary black eggs of Hakone, each one is said to add seven years to your life!"

Ryu bowed before pealing the black shells, the springy white boiled egg inside, and popping it into his mouth. "What a thoughtful gift, thank you very much, Tendo-san!"

"You are very welcome, Ryu-chan, and there is no need to be so formal, you are dating my sister, that makes you family, you may call me 'onee-chan' too!"

"...Um, okay, Tendo-onee-chan." Ryu was obviously uncomfortable by it, but any protest wilted before her bright smile.

"See, is that not better?"

Even more bothered, Nabiki resumed her appraisal of the gifts she was to deliver only to see one with her own name upon it. "For me?" She should have known better than to doubt her older sister, there was no way she would leave 'anyone' out, even her.

"Of course! How could we forget you, of all people?"

Kasumi's preternaturally serene smile was almost unnerving to the young woman, so she returned her focus to the bag in front of her. "What- what is it?"

"Just open it and find out."

"You got me a 'jewelry' box?" It was a very nicely made box, even more ornate than the others and possibly even 'somewhat' valuable, so she was not exactly unhappy, but it was not what Nabiki had been expecting... The look on her face must have let part of her dissatisfaction slip, because Kasumi felt the need to urge her forward.

"Isn't it beautiful? There is even some jewelry inside ...though that is not from Hakone, along with your delivery payment."

"REALLY?" Suddenly excited about her gift, she started to turn the box over, growing more desperate as she did. "But, how do you open it?"

"Well, you see, that is also part of the 'gift', it is a puzzle box from Hakone."

"What, no eggs for me?" She did not used to believe in old legends such as that, but since she had met Ranma and learned that magic really did exist, she was far more inclined to ...'investigate' such stories. Besides, while it was not as if she did not prefer something more valuable rather than consumable, the idea that she had gotten something that supposedly extended the lifespan for everything except her, did not sit well with her.

"Of course I did, they are also in the box ...so I suppose you might want to hurry, they may start to stink eventually." Kasumi smiled sweetly at her sister.

Fumbling with the box, Nabiki found a piece that slid to the side. "Ah ha! That was not so hard, eggs do not go bad that quickly!"

"There you go, now you only have two-hundred and fifty-four more steps to go! I figured that since you had the most secrets, you should have the most complicated 'lock' they had." Kasumi appeared confident that her younger sister could open the box, while she made certain that the instructions were still hidden in her pocket. She loved her sister to death, but even she occasionally liked to see the normally controlling young woman squirm, particularly in light of what she had put them through earlier. "I know how you always love to figure things out, so I knew you would simply adore this, they are so much fun, are they not?"

"Yeah, I guess so..."

"It had taken me quite a while to open it, but I am positive that you will be able to do it much more quickly, you are so much smarter than I am, after all!"

Ranma leaned over to whisper in her ear, not that Nabiki was paying them any attention by this point, engrossed in the puzzle as she was. "But didn't ya have th' instructions when ya did it?"

"Shhh, there is no need to mention that part, it is more fun this way ...or would you rather we talk about what happened that night when-..."

"No! No, that's fine, I ain't sayin' nuthin'. I just didn't think ya had it in ya, Kasumi- ...chan." He lightly nudged her with his elbow out of respect.

Kasumi blushed at the honorific, and the memories associated with it. "Oh my, but you know, I have a lot more in me than you might think."

Nabiki looked up from her new obsession, having noticed something. "Hey, what are you two talking about over there?"

"I was just reassuring Ranma-kun that if you can no longer progress due to a mistake, that is it easy to reset it, and start over, so you do not have to worry about having to go back if make a mistake."

Going back to whispering, Ranma was surprised that Kasumi had covered for them so smoothly, it was almost as if she were long practiced at such things... "So wait, ya mean ya planned this out? I thought it was just fer th' kiss."

"A girl needs to have 'some' fun, was that not what you were telling me, 'Goshujin-sama'?"

"Well that's true, but wow!"

"I do hope that you do not think less of me now, do you?"

"No way! I'm impressed, that's crafty, I never would a' thought a' that!"

"This is where more reading would help you."

Instantly dejected, Ranma hung his head. "I have been ...some."

"I know, real books too, not just manga, I am so proud of you!"

"Aaaawww... I ain't no big deal."

"Oh but it is! I never was able to go to high school like the rest of you, there was just so much to do, but thanks to reading books, I have never stopped learning, and you should do that as well, especially now. The more we know, the more we realize how much we have yet to learn."

"I guess, it ain't as bad as Pops made it out ta be..."

"No, of course not! Your father might know things about the art, but that does seem to be about it. Remember what not reading got you in the case of the Neko-ken?"

"Please, don't remind me..." Ranma shuttered uncontrollably for a moment.

"What'cha talkin' 'bout, o'er there, Honey?" Ukyo did not care for how attached he and Kasumi continued to be, and she still had not even gotten her kiss!

"Nuthin'!"

"Well, that's awful defensive, and ya have ta admit, ya two look awful close..." Ukyo eyed the pair cautiously.

"We certainly ARE close, just like siblings who have been living together for some time. Is that not nice, Ranma-kun?"

"Yeah ...great." Ranma casually shrugged. "I suppose, it ain't like I ever had any siblings before..."

Nodoka suddenly turned away from the frustrated young teen who had already needed to start her puzzle over several time, to jump to her own defense. "Do not blame me! I wanted to have more children, it was your father who is at fault on that matter."

"First thought violent one was sister, always fight like ones Shampoo know. No make sense be more, ones what think make good couple needs head examine. If just Ranma want be hit, Shampoo do if like, only need ask!"

"NO! It ain't-... I'm not-... I don't-... That's not it! We never had nuthin' ta do with that anyway, it was all our pops' stupid idea!"

Kasumi felt a wave of guilt pass over her, as she mumbled to herself. "Well ...not entirely." She was not certain that she would ever be able to forgive herself for forcing that misery upon them, if only she had noticed the truth sooner...

As close as he was, even Ranma had trouble hearing what she had said, but the sour look on her typically sweet features spoke volumes to him. "Hey, I told ya, it ain't yer fault! Don't nobody blame neither a' ya fer that."

"Oh... that is where you are wrong, I know at least one person who does."

"Yeah, well, ya shouldn't! I don't, an' I'm pretty sure Akane wouldn't want ya ta neither."

"But-..."

"No, I mean it, yer one a' th' only ones ta ever even ask what I want, with most everyone else, it's all about what, they ...want... Um..." Realizing that some of those others were standing there looking a bit sheepish at his remarks, he found himself unable to continue.

"Is THAT what'cha think? 'Re we nuthin' but a bother?" Ukyo looked as though someone had just dropped a ton of stones on her head.

"No! It ain't like-..."

"Shampoo only want make Ranma too too happy!"

"No! ...I mean ya do, but-... Shimatta!" The combination of embarrassment, and his frustration with the pushy personalities, had built up far to quickly for how relaxed he had just been, and he did not know what to do about it. His father had left him ill prepared for dealing with much that did not involve fighting, and the last thing he wanted to do was to fight with them of all people!

Fight or flight: A physiological reaction that can occur in response to a perceived threat. With the adrenal gland kicking into overdrive, it prepares the animal to answer the hazard. With the well trained martial artist's ability to fight hindered, there is only one response remaining to him.

"Ranchan!"

"Aiyaaa...! Airen, no run from Shampoo!"

"That was not very 'manly'..."

Before any of them could run after him, Kasumi interceded to block their path. "Now, now, we need to give Ranma-kun space, sometimes a person needs time to themselves, and I believe that we need to have a talk." Seeing that Nabiki was still completely absorbed in her puzzle box, she turned to the young man following her around like a puppy. "Ryu-kun, would you be so kind as to watch over my sister while we are gone?" Seeing him nod, she led them toward the kitchen to make another pot of tea.

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"Tadaima!" After changing into her slippers, Hinako fell into line behind the others as they walked through the house, not wanting to be left out of anything interesting.

"Good evening, Sensei-san, you are home awfully late this evening." Nodoka turned to examine the newcomer with a curious expression.

Turning away to hide the guilty expression, she recovered quickly. "Yes, well, I had a lot of things I needed to do after work, you understand?"

"I see, I do hope that it was nothing too troubling."

"No ...no, not very much at all. In fact, things seem to be improving quickly." Hinako laughed nervously as she thought back on her evening.

Kasumi gave the woman a warm and welcoming smile, happy to have her there for their discussion. "Your timing could not have been better. Have you eaten? Should I prepare something for you real fast?"

"Oh, no, I am fine, I ...already ate, while I was out you know. Thank you very much for thinking of me."

Shampoo and Nodoka tried to help Kasumi, but she signaled them to be seated as she hurried to make their tea, and return with some snacks. After making sure that everyone had been served, she turned with a serious expression, facing the group. "Do you remember our recent discussion about the man named 'Pavlov'?"

"What, that dog guy?" Ukyo looked confused, wondering why she was bringing that up at this point, when they should be out chasing Ranma!

"Yes, do you not remember what we discussed?"

"What, other'n ya wantin' ta be Ranchan's maid?" Ukyo wanted to jump out of her seat, but could already feel the eyes upon her, so chose to just glare instead.

Kasumi could not help but to blush at that. "Um, yes, other than that, before particular part."

Not putting down the snacks she had in each hand, Hinako looked up and paused in her eating to explain, only after licking the chocolate from around her mouth. "You had suggested that Saotome-kun might have been conditioned to relate affection with violence."

"Yes, thank you Sensei-san." Hinako beamed a child-like smile in response, that looked strangely out of place on her adult features, before resuming her munching. "So, as I was saying, I think that it would be best if we were to be less forceful with Ranma-kun in these situations. The poor boy is suffering from a form of shell shock, the more strongly you push, more quickly your 'prey' will run."

"When chased, one runs. When one runs, the other cannot help but to pursue, hum?" Nodoka looked at the young woman with curious expression, wondering how she had personally intended to chase her 'prey'. "Well you do seem to be a master at that technique..."

"Oh no, not at all, I have never even been on a date before..."

"Ya, went on a vacation alone with a guy ...MAH guy, that's more a' a date than any a' us had with all three of us goin' tagethah!"

"Is that so?" Nodoka considered that news, and made a decision. "Okay then, I suggest that each one of you go out on a date with my son! That should solve your problem, yes?"

Ukyo looked up at Ranma's mother, torn between the idea of going out with Ranma alone, and the thought of him going out with the others alone! "Ah-..."

"AIYAAAAaaaaa! Is okay? Shampoo SO happy!"

"Well, I suppose that would take 'some' of the pressure off, however, I am not certain that-..." Kasumi was having misgivings, about this idea...

"Okay! Ah'll do it!" Finally making her decision, she stood up, steeling her resolve.

"Yes, yes, dear..." Nodoka just smiled, it was not as if she expected any of them to refuse her request.

"But what about what Ran-...' Kasumi tried to be heard a second time, only to be completely ignored.

"Do not look so disinterested, Sensei-san, you are going as well!"

Nodoka's demand caused Hinako to look up from her snacks in surprise. "Huh?"

"Wait..." If Nodoka was making Hinako go, Kasumi was certain that meant that she would be included as well! It was not as if she was opposed to the idea, though she would not allow him to pay for her, and it would at least give them more time to work on his problems without interference from the others. She was starting to grow excited by the prospect, she had felt as if they had been making real progress on their trip, so she hoped they would be able to continue that on this 'date'.

Seeing Kasumi's silly grin, Nodoka knew she would get no arguments from her either. "So, who wants to go when?"

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"Ranma, honey, please, come here..."

Not wanting to disappoint his mother, he quickly ran to the kitchen, to find the rest of the household waiting for him. "Urk!" His first instinct was to assume that he had done something wrong, though no one was frowning at him, though the smiles he WAS receiving made him worry all the more. "What I do?"

"Apparently nothing ...yet. Which is precisely the problem, so I have decided that you will take each of these fine young ladies out on a date, just the two of you. There was much debate, but due to scheduling issues, the order has been decided. Tomorrow, you will take Shampoo-chan, Thursday, you will take Kasumi-chan somewhere nice, on Friday you will go with Kuonji-san, and on Saturday you go with Sensei-san. Are we clear?"

"Yeah, but-..." Looking out at the hopeful faces looking back at him, he could not outright say 'no'. "It ain't like I really got money, er know what ta do, er nuthin'..."

"That is all right, Ranma-kun, each of us will plan our own excursion..." Kasumi saw a look in his eyes that some might have interpreted as saying 'et tu Brute?' "Oh my, no, you do not need to worry about a thing. Everything will be all right."

"Yeah Ranchan, this is our date, so we're gonna pay." Ukyo looked happy, yet subdued for some reason he could not fathom.

"Is true, Shampoo have too too fun plan for first real date with only Ranma!" Her usual enthusiasm, combined with the 'cat stalking its prey' grin she was wearing, did not set his mind at ease. She could finally admit that when she had used the instant Nyanniichuan did not really count, since she had coerced him into it, now that he was, more or less, dating her willingly. Now she simply needed to get him to take her seriously!

"Not to concern yourself Saotome-kun, I am certain that it will be an 'educational' experience for all of us." His teacher seemed strangely excited by the prospect, and he was uncertain as to how he should take that, especially after she went back to eating shortly after she finished.

"See, everything is handled, all you need to concern yourself with is being manly, and not disappointing your girlfriends!"

'...No pressure.' "Ya got any idea what yer askin'?"

"Of course I do Son, unlike your father, you will need to grow-up one of these days."

"Huh? Why? What'd ya mean? What's this gotta do with Pops?"

"Simple, 'real men' do not leave their lady-friends unsatisfied."

Ranma had a feeling that he was not understanding her real meaning, but he knew that many of the women in his life had been unhappy with his unwillingness to make the others unhappy, and while he felt guilty about that, he had no idea what he could do about it...

"I can see you understand me, so I expect you show these ladies a good time."

"But, I thought-..."

"Hush. Just follow your training, and everything will be just fine."

"Training?"

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Ukyo grumbled to herself about not being the first one to go out with Ranma, she just knew that even if the others did not, Shampoo would surly do something ...'horrible' with him while she would be unable to prevent it! She was certain to do 'this' and 'that', oh so much of 'that'! "Ooooooooooh!"

'It ain't fair!' She wanted to close her shop and take him out the next day, but she was afraid that Konatsu would open anyway and things would repeat themselves. She could not afford another day like that, even if her assistant had kept improving since then... The kunoichi's value of a yen was still far too skewed, however that was also exactly what allowed her to pay such a low wage. She wanted to correct that ignorance in her employee, it was just too hard for her to resist the cheap labor!

The most pressing problem she had was even worse than what Shampoo and the others had planned, but rather what was SHE going to plan herself? It was not as if she had any more experience dating than any of the others, though she HAD heard a few stories from the boys she knew in her old school... They had always complained about having to go someplace fancy, and that fit everything she knew about Ranma, so perhaps she could work with that.

The sound of water splashing was followed by Ranma's cursed voice crying out. "Gack! Sha-, Sha-..."

"Shampoo-chan, run along to the furo, I will calm Ranma-kun, and join you shortly."

Ukyo barely registered the voices before the furry fury hurried between her legs, causing her to spin around, falling on her rump. "Hey! Watch were yer goin'!"

The fuchsia feline paused long enough to turn her head, hiss, and stick out her tongue with a look in her eyes that laid all the blame upon her for stealing her soap in the first place, to which she had no retort. Holding her head high, Shampoo slowly trotted the rest of the way to the furo, her nose and tail both high in the air.

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Ranma had managed to get away from everyone after he escaped their bath and was sitting on the roof, staring into the night sky, and wondering what he was going to do for the rest of the week. Things were about to get hectic for him again, and here he had started to relax too. He should have known that it would not last, nothing in his life could be peaceful for long.

His introspection was interrupted by a sweet voice cutting though the night. "Ranma-kun?"

"Yeah, Kasumi-san, ya need somethin'?"

"I was hoping to ask you something, would you come down here, please?"

Ranma hopped off of the roof, landing silently behind Kasumi, lightly tapping on her shoulder. "Sure."

Kasumi almost jumped out of her skin at the sudden touch. "Oh my! RANMA-KUN! Oh, oh, oh my, you startled me... You should not use that vanishing trick to sneak up on someone like that!"

"But... I didn't. I'm sorry, I didn't mean ta surprise ya, but I figured ya knew where I was."

"I did, but then you were not there, and suddenly... Oh my, you certainly do move quickly, do you not?" The apologetic look on his face helped her to relax, and she lowed her hands from over her heart.

"Yeah, I guess..." Ranma rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "So, what's up?"

Kasumi hesitated for a moment, unable to look him in the eyes. "Um, Ranma-kun?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you, remember what I asked you the other day?"

"Which thing?"

"Oh, yes, I am sorry, I mean, about going with me to see my family?"

"Oh, yeah, when'd ya want ta do that?"

"Well, you see, I was thinking that with all of the excitement we have planned this week, we might want to do it soon, so that we can go ahead and get it out of the way."

"Yeah, I see, that makes sense... So, ya wanted ta go do it now?"

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..."'Do it now'? What did Ah jus' hear?" Still soaking in the bath, Ukyo had been disappointed when Kasumi and Ranma had left the furo just as she had arrived, but what were they just talking about? What could that woman be thinking? She had always known Kasumi was the biggest threat, and here she was jumping the guy ...before it was even her turn!

She was certainly not surprised that the eldest Tendo had been after him the whole time, but what had caught her off guard was how agreeable her Ranchan had been to that suggestion, almost as if they had planned it all out ahead of time! "Aw nah! That AIN'T happenin'!"

Without waiting another moment she quickly dried herself and threw on the first clean yukata she found before hurrying out of the changing room.

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"Hey, Kasumi ...chan?" Being alone as they hurtled through the night sky, Ranma felt safe in using the playful honorific again.

Feeling as though she were melting into his arms, Kasumi hazily responded in kind. "Hai ...A-na-ta?"

"I don't suppose ya'd wanna go with me, ya know, on a trainin' trip, er somethin'?"

"Of course I would LOVE to go with you! When were you wanting take the trip? Should I ask Shampoo-chan? Where should we go?"

"No! I meant, just th' two a' us, I don't really care where we go, but I was thinking about ...tonight, ya know, after we're done here, maybe?"

The almost hopeful tone in his voice made her want to say 'yes' but Kasumi had to shake her head as she sighed. "You are just nervous about your upcoming dates, is that it?" She waited until he nodded before continuing. "Ranma, you know that you cannot run from your problems, right?"

He let out a sigh as well, resigning himself to his fate. "Yeah, yer right, I knew it was too easy..."

"Ranma-kun?"

"Yeah?"

"I know that you are concerned, but you do not need to be."

"But, what about when they try ta-..."

"Shhhh..." Kasumi snuggled in more tightly to his chest, hoping to show how much she cared. "Do not worry, I promise you, everything will be just fine, all you need to do is follow your heart and be yourself. No one will get upset with you no matter what you do, I will not allow it in your home. You are not married, and the commitments you have were not of your making, so until 'you' pledge 'yourself' to someone exclusively, you have the right to do, or not do, whatever you want when you have a willing partner. Okay?"

"Yeah, but-..."

She knew that raising his confidence in them would be difficult, but respect had to start somewhere, and ...that gave her an idea. "I trust you, Ranma-kun."

"Huh? Where'd that come from?"

"I trust you. Do you trust me?"

"A' course!"

"Then believe me when I tell you that as long as you treat those girls as you did with me in Hokkaido, or anywhere else we have been, then I am certain that you will not have any problems on your dates. You only need to worry about one thing, and that is to enjoy yourself. Okay ...'Darling', can you promise me that you will try to do that?"

"Yeah, I guess I can do that..."

"Good, I know that Ranma Saotome-kun never breaks a promise, so I will expect that you will have a good time this week." As they neared the Tendo compound, the first thing Kasumi noticed was that the place had seen better days, though, she had to admit, that she had honestly expected it to be 'much' worse.

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Ukyo was not having an easy time keeping up with her targets, she had not expected them to go this far, and she was nowhere near the roof-hopper that Ranma was, apparently even if he was carrying another person! She would have had a hard enough time keeping up with them normally, but with her wearing nothing but her sandals and hastily put on robe, that barely even managed to stay closed, she was finding it difficult to even keep them in view. What could they possibly be doing this far away from home? With how hard she had been struggling to keep up with them, it was not until they had almost reached the Tendo estate that she had finally realized their destination.

As Ranma set Kasumi down on the roof, she came to the conclusion that either she had been horribly mistaken, or the other woman was far more brazen than she would have ever given her credit and she was planning to do it right over Akane's room! It was hard to believe that she could even think that the older girl would even be willing to have sex with anyone, let alone someone else's fiancee in such a location, but her opinion of her had been changing dramatically ever since she saw that woman's 'battle armor' in Hinako's apartment, what seemed like ages ago now.

The young chef was starting to feel silly enough for having doubted her Ranchan as it was, but when they had not only separated on the roof, but Ranma had suddenly departed, leaving Kasumi to her own devices, she felt that she had finally had her fill and turned to leave. "Ah've seen enough a' this, Ah'm gettin' way too tired fer this crap!"

"SWEEET-O!"

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Kasumi was a bit uncomfortable, having been left alone on the roof as Ranma had departed so quickly, but she continued to suppress her aura as she had been taught, and moved as close to various windows as she could manage, trying to listen to anything she could make-out. She had wanted to go in and talk to them, but she was just too afraid of what their reaction might be, and when she saw the silhouette of someone she did not recognize, who was wearing an apron and with their hair in a ponytail, she had lost what little nerve she had remaining. That was when she had asked Ranma to bring her up to the roof instead, so she could look around with less fear of being spotted.

Unable to resist the urge, her first goal had to been to look into her old room, only to see that it appeared to be lived-in! She took some solace in the fact that it was at least clean, but something about seeing someone else's belongings in her room bothered her far more than she ever would have expected. Nabiki's room still had her furniture, but it was devoid of any other sign that anyone had ever lived there. The light was on in Akane's room, so she did not take the chance to glance inside, and worked her way toward the kitchen, the room she had feared seeing the most.

Before she had gotten far, she heard voices wafting up on the breeze from below. "It's your move, Tendo-kun!"

"I'm thinking, but weren't you supposed to go get more sake?"

"You just want me to leave so you can move the pieces, why don't you get the new 'Kasumi-chan' to get it?"

'What, 'New Kasumi-chan'? Whatever are they talking about?'

"Kashumi-chan!"

"Oh, yes fath-..." She slapped her hands over her mouth, hoping that no one had heard her, chiding herself for her blunder.

"What do you want? I told you not to call me that! Besides, what would your daughter think?"

"Don't worry my boy, I don't think Akane-chan really cares."

"That is not who I meant ...besides no one asked you, Panda!"

"Akane-chan's the 'only' daughter I have left...!"

'Oh my!' Her heart broke as she heard the pain in her father's drunken bluster.

"If *HIC* they don't want to take over my dojo, then they are dead to me! That's the whole reason Shaotome-kun is going to adopt you!"

"That's right!"

'Oh no!' Kasumi quickly retreated to the other side of the roof, no longer able to stand hearing the voices, and missing the last one of the night.

"Shut-up you fools! I think you both have had enough to drink tonight! There, I took both of your kings, you both lose! Now go to bed, and think about what you said! You should both be ashamed of yourselves!"

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Ranma landed softly beside Kasumi, about to greet her with a grin despite his own dishevelment, when he heard her soft sobbing. "Oi, Kasumi-chan, what happened? Tell me what's wrong!"

She had a difficult time getting her words out through her tears, while still keeping her voice low enough not to be heard by anyone inside. "They. Do not. Want. ME!"

"WHAT?" Ranma did not speak loudly, but the anger came through clearly in his words. "Come on, what happened?"

"Found, replacement 'Kasumi-chan', said ...I, was dead ...to them!" She was bawling into his chest, clutching onto his shirt with a death-grip.

Ranma wanted to go down there and deck every last one of them, but he did not want to leave her alone again, not after he already had to deal with Happosai once for the evening. He had no idea what happened, finding the ancient pervert hemorrhaging blood from his nose was an unusual sight to say the least, but as long as it gave him a chance to punt him into the stratosphere, he was not going to worry about the details. "What'd ya want me ta do?"

"Just ...Just, please ...need to leave. Can youuuuuuuu...?" Before she had completed her thought, she was back into his supportive arms, hurtling through the sky, back toward her new home.

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Ukyo could not believe the indignity! As if she had not already been embarrassed enough for one evening! But to have that horrid little panty thief try to nick her nonexistent britches, only to pass-out as he found out that she was not wearing any, was the last straw! At least she had gotten away without anyone else seeing her in her in such a state. She swore she was going to make Kasumi fix the damage to her yukata, even if she the other woman had not taken her sweet Ranchan's most precious thing, she was still at fault for getting her into this mess in the first place!

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After they had gone several kilometers, Ranma set down in a park, next to a vending machine, not wanting the others to see her until she was feeling better. Without letting her go, he got them each a hot tea, and sat down on a nearby bench. "Hey, Kasumi-chan, here." Opening the can, he handed it to her. "Ya want ta talk about it?"

No longer weeping, the heartbroken homemaker hesitantly took a sip from her beverage, not making the least attempt to get off of Ranma's lap. "Thank you. I... I, I know I left them, but I still cannot believe that father would say such a thing!"

"Hey, ya didn't leave them, they abandoned ya a long time ago. This ain't yer fault. It's like ya told me, ya got a right ta be happy too." He handed her a handkerchief to wipe her face.

"But, I-..."

"Look at me. I don't know what happened, an' I know those old bastards can be stubborn, but I promise ya, we'll work this out." 'Even if I got ta go back an' beat some sense inta both a' 'em!' "Ya want me ta trust ya about these dates, okay, I will, but now it's yer turn. Trust me, this is something I CAN take care of, and in the meantime, ya still got us. Right?"

Sniffling, Kasumi looked up into his eyes from her position on his lap. "That is true, I 'DO' have you, do I not?" Seeing him nod made her feel a bit better.

"Yeah, I ain't goin' nowhere fer long, an' ya got a place ta stay as long as ya want." Ranma still did not feel comfortable in claiming any part of ownership of the home anyway, and it was not as if he would ever turn away the person who bought it for him even if he did. "Hey! Anyone who don't want someone like ya around, is stupid, an' ain't worth yer time! Okay?"

"Is that 'really' what you think? You actually 'want' me around? You are not just being polite?"

"A' course I do! You know it ain't like I'm that good at that 'polite' stuff anyway, an' I'd never want ya ta leave ...if ya didn't want ta, that is."

They shared a giggle, as she took another sip from her tea. "That depends on who you ask."

As they finished their drinks, Ranma tossed them into the recycling bin and got to his feet. "Ya never gotta worry, I'll always be there if ya need me ...Aisai-chan."

Before he was able to take a step, she kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, Anata."

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Reaching the park, she saw her targets heading her way. "There Airen is! Where did go? Was have fun? Why no tell Shampoo?" Seeing the smile on Kasumi's face, the young warrior was feeling a bit jealous.

"Shampoo-chan!"

"How'd ya find us here?"

"Track across half of China, no think half city can stop Shampoo! Now, why Husband and Big Sister no tell where go? Why no take Shampoo for secret dating?"

"Oh my, Shampoo-chan, you have the wrong Idea, I just asked Ranma-kun to take me to see my family..."

Despite her initial impression, she was starting to notice Kasumi's puffy eyes and could feel the somber mood from the pair. "Why sad now? Panda say dumb thing?"

"Ya don't know how close ya are... Let's just say, it's didn't really go well."

"Aiyaaa!" Before she realized it, Kasumi was sandwiched between them, trapped in the loving embrace of her two best friends.

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Bonus Omake 11 - I was inspired by an one-off joke in here.

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Nodoka had been hearing rumors of a new 'gentleman' escort that all of her friends had been raving about, and they had finally talked her into looking into it. She felt a bit strange that her handwritten directions had taken her to a local love hotel, but she was a bit impressed when she saw it took up most of the top floor. "What's the password?"

"'I want an Oompa-Loompa'?"

"I have an appoint..." The door opened, and she was greeted by an opulence to which she was not accustomed, followed up by a vary familiar face.

"Mrs. Saotome!"

"Nabiki-chan? What are YOU doing here, I thought you had a boyfriend."

"Oh, I suppose you could call it that, but we are not here to talk about my needs, you came here for a reason, did you not?"

"Oh dear, do you mean that you are...?"

"That's right, now, did you want to do business, or not? Your time-slot will be 'up' soon."

"Oh dear... Do you think that I should?"

"Definitely!" 'I'd hate for you to leave without me getting something to hold over you to keep my secret.' "You won't regret a moment of it, I guarantee it!" The boy had certainly improved since they started this side job, and she was reaping the benefits ...in more ways than one!

"Oh? Well I HAVE been hearing good things from my friends, are you certain?"

Taking the older woman's money, Nabiki grinned like a tiger stalking its prey. "You will NOT regret it, Saotome-san. You will feel years younger when you are though ...if you can even walk."

"Oh dear..." The neglected housewife started to salivate at the prospect, it had been SO long since she had been satisfied by a real man...

"Ryu! Hurry up and finish that one off, you have another ...customer waiting!"

"HAI!"

Nodoka's eyes lit up as she heard the throws of passion in a woman's voice which started yelling out in ecstasy as the pounding sounds grew louder. "Oh ...so 'manly'..."

Soon after the throws of passion ended, the door opened, and a fully nude Ryu exited the back room carrying an equally naked woman along with her clothing. His voice had no emotion in it at all as he spoke. "Mitsuka-sensei's gonna need some time to recover." After setting her down on the couch, he did not even look up as she took Nodoka's hand in his own, and walked back toward the bedroom. "Next."

As the sounds of lust began to pour from the back room, Nabiki smiled as she counted her yen. Shortly after the titillating teacher had gathered her things and left, there was another knock.

After the quick exchange, Nabiki answered the door with a grin on her thin lips. "Welcome back ...Matriarch."

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Well, that took longer than I had hopped, sorry this one and the next might be a bit behind, depending on how much work still needs to be done on it.

What does Shampoo have planned for her date? Tune in next time and find out when we bring you, 'Lupin's Supplice', or 'Helping the Helper'.


	40. Chapter 40

Warning: Some studies are saying that I am not real, and that I am only a figment of your imagination. So, please believe that I am wealthy.

You've Read It, You Cannot Unread It! TALES! OF! NERIMA!

Chapter 40 - Training Date

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"Shampoo-chan, are you home?"

"HAI, Shampoo come!"

"There is a package for you... from China!" Nodoka handed over the box with a smile.

"Aiyaa! More soap is final here! Husband be SO happy!"

"Oh? Is it a special soap?" Nodoka wondered if it possibly had some sort of aphrodisiac effect.

"Is true! Is special waterproof soap, no last too too long, but is better than scare away husband when just get so close!"

"Oh my, how interesting..."

"Aiyaa! Remind Shampoo, get gift for Mother, but had make phone call, and wait, was hard find good time to give..."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Want get gift, show how much thank Shampoo have for what Mother do."

"Oh, you did not need to do that!"

"No was trouble, and want do! Wait for Shampoo, be right back!" Not wanting to risk leaving her new bars of soap out where just anyone could find them, she ran to her room to stash them in the hidden cubbyhole she had found. There had been some strange things in there from the previous owners, but she had not cared about them, and tossed them aside. She was fairly certain that Kasumi had taken them somewhere at some point, but that was no concern of hers. After stashing one bar of soap in her puzzle box for safe keeping, she left one out to use with her next bath, grabbed the small package, and hurried back to where she had left Nodoka.

Finding her in the nearby kitchen, she ran inside the room, bowing her head, and holding out the small gift-bag with both hands. "Please, promise, keep secret, Ranma no like hear..."

"Hear 'what', my dear?"

"Gift."

"What, you believe that my Ranma would not like you giving me a gift?"

"No is problem, just no like gift itself. Mercenary-girl make for Shampoo."

"You are saying that Nabiki-chan made it?"

"In way, yes, but make husband embarrass to hear."

Curiosity piqued, Nodoka found herself wanting to see what was in the bag.

Seeing the older woman's eyes darting back and forth between herself and her present, she encouraged her. "What wait for? Open please."

"You do not mind?"

"Why give gift if no want open?"

Nodoka knew she should not have been surprised, the local customs were not native to this girl, and yet, here she was, doing her best. "Thank you, I do not mind if I do." As she pulled the small plastic cases from the sack, she examined the images showing from within. "Oh, it is pictures of you 'girls'!" Turning them over, she continued her examination. "There is more on the back! What a strange frame this is... This one is Ranma's cursed form, yes?"

Shampoo nodded. "Is part why Husband no like."

"Then why did you have the picture taken in that form?"

"Is for album."

"You all recorded an album?"

"Many! Say what want, but Mercenary-girl know what sell."

"And you say this is why Ranma is in that form?"

"HAI! Husband too too pretty! Sell many album!"

"Is that so...? I would dearly love to hear this album, would you by chance have a copy of it?"

"Is gift! Open box! Need show how?"

"What? A record, in this tiny picture frame?"

"No is picture frame, is case for what call, 'compact disk', is new way sell music."

Nodoka watched as Shampoo showed her how to open the storage case. She had seen records with pictures on them before, but never like that! "Oh wow, it even had your photos printed on it! But who is this other girl?"

"Is too too violent girl, Kasumi-nee-chan other sister, one what stupid father say what marry Ranma."

"So this is the 'Akane' about whom I keep hearing stories... Yes, I see. Well, I suppose if my daughter was having troubles finding a spouse, I might try to arrange a marriage as well..."

"Is strange, Shampoo hear that one have half boy at school chase, no know why."

"Oh, well then I suppose we do not need to worry about anything... So, tell me, how do we play this strange little record?"

"Follow, Shampoo show how."

"We have a player for such a thing?"

"Come with house..."

"How very interesting..."

"Is too too normal thing now day, even Shampoo had one at Nekohanten. Love so easy hear music in Airen country, especially when husband sing!" Shampoo quickly explained how to remove the disk from the case, and play it in their stereo.

"Wait, before you start that, let me go make us some tea." Nodoka rushed off, eager to return and hear the music her son and his friends had made. While it looked rather cheap for a picture frame, it appeared quite professionally made for an 'album' produced by children!

Hurrying back with their beverages, she found Shampoo waiting for her with a broad grin on her adorable features. She just wanted to pinch those cheeks, Nodoka was certain that the young woman would make very beautiful babies, and could not wait to see them! Pouring a cup, she handed it over to her listening companion. "Here you are, my dear."

"Many thanks for tea, is too too good, but sit, Shampoo play music now!" As she pressed the 'play' button, the dulcet tones of the strings began to slowly pour out of the speakers, setting a melancholy tone. However, within a few moments, the prologue ended, and a more upbeat song could be heard, along with the voices of the five young women singing Red Shoe Sunday.

"Oh! It is a love song!"

Shampoo nodded.

"All of you have such lovely voices."

Beaming with pride, Shampoo sat in silence, not wishing to speak and interrupt the song.

"How cute, this one is more lively, fitting for one you start." The two smiled at each other. "Oh, and this verse is Kasumi-chan, how sweet! Though I do hope that my son had a good reason to make you two wait!"

Shampoo wanted to say that it was not true, and that the songs were not describing real incidents however she had lived through almost those exact same events not exactly long ago, and her expression gave her away.

"Then we must be certain that it never happens again! I will help you get ready, and I will ask Kasumi-chan to help Ranma!"

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"Is something on your mind? You seem ...distant."

"No, it's fine..."

"Ranma-kun? It is okay, if you want to talk about it, I am happy to listen."

"Aw, ya know I ain't no good at stuff like that."

"Now, now, we have time while we are getting you fixed up for your date, there is no reason to be shy with me after what we have been through, is there?" Kasumi's mind projected the movie of their night together in the ryokan, and tried to resist the blush she knew was coming. "Nope, no reason at all..." Luckily for her, Ranma was far to distracted to notice her nervous laughter.

"Well, it's just that ya asked Ryu ta call ya 'onee-chan', cause a' goin' out with Nabiki, but ya never asked me that, an' Akane an' I were engaged fer a lot longer... Did ya not like me as much, er not want me ta marry inta yer family? Is it cause Ryu's more mature than me?"

"Oh my, Ranma-kun! No, I just did not wish to embarrass you."

"Almost everythin' everyone does these days is embarrassin'..."

"I am just so sorry! Please, tell me if you are not happy, I do not want to make you do anything you do not want to do ...and of course you are welcome to call me anything you wish. If you would like to think of me as your big sister, then I would be honored, I could not imagine having a better little brother!" Even Kasumi's damp eyes did not betray the guilt that she was feeling, she had not wanted to alienate Ranma, but something about treating him like her sibling was not sitting with her very well, though she was unable to figure out why the very thought of it made her a bit sad. It was odd to her, there was a time when she would have adored to be called that by him, but for some reason, her heart was no longer in it. "Now, come here, and let me fix that hair of yours..."

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Ranma had been made to wait in his room until they were ready for him, and he had built up a great deal of nervous energy. To pass the time, he had been practicing with his ki, trying to keep a tiny ball of energy moving between his fingers. At least he could feel as though he was doing something productive...

"Ranma-kun? Are you ready?"

"Huh? Yeah, been ready since ya left, I guess."

"Oh my, I am sorry it took so long, we finished as quickly as we were able..."

"No, it's fine, it ain't like I got nowhere else ta be..."

"You do now. Please, stand and close your eyes, I will guide you."

"'Kay, whatever ya say..." Ranma felt a shiver go down his spine as the gentle hands rested upon his shoulders, and her breath tickled his left ear.

"Dana-sama?" Being so close, she did not raise her voice above a whisper.

"...HaAi?"

Kasumi had to resist giggling as his voice cracked. To think that she could have such an effect on a person was something she found difficult to fathom. "You look very handsome. Just relax and I am certain that you will do fine. Just remember what I told you."

Considerably less 'relaxed' than he had been moments before, Ranma did his best to steady his nerves, slowly taking one step at a time as he allowed himself to be guided through the house. They paused for a moment and he heard a door open before they walked through it, and into what he assumed was their living room.

"Okay, you both can open your eyes now."

Shampoo heard Ranma gasp as his eyelids opened and his sight cleared, the alluring vision before him caught his voice in his throat. He had always known that Shampoo was gorgeous, the fact was undeniable ...no matter how much he might have tried to do so since her arrival. She stood there, dressed in a light pink kimono, with light blue trim and obi. The floral pattern on the silk matched the flowers and ornaments in her lavender locks, which was tied into a decorative bun, and she was wearing light make-up to highlight her natural beauty. They both avoided each other's eyes, and Ranma stood there, unable to speak.

"Mother and Kasumi-onee-chan help Shampoo get ready, and loan local dress. Airen like what see?"

"Ranma, it is not manly to make a girl fish for complements..."

"Wow..." Ranma stood there much like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming vehicle. As she turned her head, his eyes traced her figure from the nape of her neck, down to where her house slippers barely poked out from under the long silk folds.

"Shampoo too think Ranma look too too good for eating! Want skip dinner and go straight to dessert?"

Ranma was not sure what she meant, but he did not like the idea of skipping a meal if it could be prevented. "But-..." Before he was able to finish his thought, Kasumi interjected.

"Oh my, no, proper nutrition is important for growing young people! You should always clean your plate!"

"Hear that, Airen? Onee-chan say be sure eat all of Shampoo..."

"What?"

"Oh my..."

"What a wonderful start! Just remember what I told you."

"What's that?" Ranma looked up, wondering if his mother had been helping Shampoo as Kasumi had been advising him.

"It is nothing you need to concern yourself with Son. Wearing a kimono is an expression of artistic beauty, and you wear it well my dear."

Ranma had no words to argue the point, so stood there, with stunned confusion written clearly across his face. He almost jumped back as she leaned in closely and whispered into his ear. "Is okay, Shampoo explain when earn answer..." With that, she lightly kissed his earlobe before returning to her perfect posture. "Airen is ready go?"

"Uh..."

"Of course you are..." Nodoka hurried them along toward their entryway, so they could change into their shoes.

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Shampoo had been clinging tightly to his arm from behind, pressing tightly to Ranma's back, and making 'cooing' sounds as they walked along the road, thoroughly enjoying being so close to him. He had, in some ways, started growing accustomed to Shampoo's clingy nature some time ago, but that did not change how embarrassed it would make him, especially when she would do it in more public places, where someone he knows might see them. They had walked for several kilometers, with him following her directional indications and he started to realize they were heading back into Nerima's business district, which only made him more uncomfortable. "So, um, hey, Shampoo?"

"Mmmmmmm... Yes, Airen?" She rubbed herself against his back, like a cat putting her scent on her owner.

"I was jus' wonderin', um, where we were, ya know, going?"

"Shampoo have big secret! Make Ranma too too happy!"

Ranma could feel her bouncing against his back, and it was rather distracting, and thinking back on some of the girl's other 'secret plans', only made Ranma even more nervous, and it showed by his slowing stride.

"No worry, is surprise Shampoo 'promise' Ranma like-..."

"Ya said that before, how 'bout a hint?"

"Is thing only can do with Shampoo. Is good thing remember." It had not taken her too much effort to convince her great-grandmother to help with her plan, even if it did bend a few laws, it was not as if it would be the first time, and if he choose her, it should all be fine.

"Huh? What is?"

"Shampoo tell 'is secret'! Airen need wait for surprise." She squeezed his arm, trying to be reassuring.

He could almost feel her catty grin broaden from behind him, which did not calm him in the slightest. He wracked his brain, trying to think of things Shampoo did, that no one else did with him and he almost got a nosebleed from the attempt. His instincts told him to bolt, but his mother had sat him down the previous night, making him promise that he would not 'disappoint his girlfriends'.

She could apparently sense the change in his demeanor, because she slowed down, and almost let go of him. "What wrong? Is something want talk? Is still think of Onee-chan bad night?"

"A bit, but Kasumi-san seems ta be doin' better today." Ranma turned and saw, to his horror, small tears starting to form in her large, round eyes.

"Then what is? Swear Ranma like surprise! Still no trust Shampoo? What need do? Shampoo rather die than hurt Airen!"

"Then, tell me where we're goin'. It ain't really that I don't trust ya, I just don't have a lot a good luck with surprises, ya know?"

With a pout on her lips, Shampoo reluctantly pointed down the street ...at the Nekohanten. "We go there..." Her tone was as short as the remaining walk.

Ranma's head drooped. 'Should have known.' He was not sure what to expect, but there was one bright side to their destination... The thought of which, caused his stomach to grumble, Shampoo and her great-grandmother were some of the best cooks he knew, after Kasumi and his own mother.

Hearing his reaction, her smile returned, as she was always happy to show him how well suited she was to be his companion. "Surprise no is food, but Shampoo too too happy make Ranma something if want! Will cook while Ranma enjoy surprise!"

The prospect of food cheered him up a bit, and they resumed their walking position as Ranma tried to ignore the stares people were giving them at their public show of affection. Now that he was looking forward to their arrival, Shampoo seemed to slow her stride, as if she wanted to be seen by everyone as she clutched his arm and rested her head on his shoulder.

Entering the cafe, they saw the place was closed, and most of the seats were resting on top of the tables. "Great-Grandmother? Is here!"

"Yes, yes, I felt you approaching from several kilometers away, your aura is rather bright today. Someone must be in a good mood, I wonder who that could be..."

"Aiyaaa! Is too too good day, Shampoo is show Ranma too too good time!"

The diminutive old woman hopped down the stairs on top of her staff. "It is good to see you both again, you are looking well. To what do I own this visit?"

"Grandmother!" The young woman stuck her tongue out at her living ancestor.

The cackle cut through the empty dining room like gunfire ringing out on a silent night. "No need to get upset, everything is prepared for you. If you will follow me, Son-in-law?"

With a short nod, and Shampoo still latched to his arm, he trailed after the mocking matron. Exiting through the rear door, Ranma started to get nervous when he saw the kiddy pool full of water before them. "Oi, what's this all about?"

"My granddaughter, in response to the recent progress of your relationship, and some other activity, about which I did not get details, has begged me to teach you another technique from our three-thousand year tradition!"

"Really?" Ranma grew excited, wondering what kind of move it would be, the two they had taught him so far had been quite powerful... He turned his head to see Shampoo nodding excitedly with a grin that took up half of her face.

"Shampoo say Airen like, yes?" Her heart felt as if it were going to burst as she saw his faint nod, it was worth every favor she promised her grandmother to get her to agree to teach him again before he consented to their marriage! She felt them growing closer every day they were together, in spite of the setbacks, and she felt certain that these reminder of what she could do for him would help put her over the top. "Aiyaaa...! So happy!"

Cologne carefully eyed the closeness of the pair with a warm smile, she had honestly been wondering if they were ever going to get anywhere. "Shall we get started?"

"Shampoo go make Airen food!" After a quick squeeze, she let go of him, and quickly dashed off into the restaurant.

For a moment, Ranma almost missed the soft feeling pressing into his side and back before refocusing his attention toward his temporary teacher. "What do I gotta do?"

"We do not want your nice outfit to get all wet, so first, why not remove your shoes, and roll up your pants?"

"Yer gonna get me wet?" Ranma could not exactly say he was shocked.

"Not if we can help it, but practice makes perfect..."

"What're gonna teach me?"

"It is something you have seen before, back when we first fought at the beach."

"Th' shark fist?"

"No, nothing so sloppy as that." Hopping off of her staff, she calmly walked over to the inflatable pool, and strolled out onto the surface. "This one."

Ranma's eyes went wide as he remembered the technique she had use during their first big battle after the watermelon race. He had been unable to focus on how she had done it during the fight, but Akane had told him what her father had said about it at the time. "Tendo-san said ya walk on twigs an' stuff, but I don't see nuthin' like that..." It was not as flashy a technique as he had been hoping for, but if he could prevent himself from getting wet even SOME of the time, then it could be a useful trick to learn!

"That is an easier way to start, but by the time you have mastered the technique, you should not need such a crutch."

Raising his eyebrow, Ranma cocked his head to the side. "Then, how?"

"You use your ki to strengthen the surface tension of the water, if you do not break through, you will not get wet."

The more he heard, the more appealing the idea grew, and he focused with all of his senses.

Seeing the reaction, she continued. "It is much like how you jump, but instead of focusing your ki into your legs and pushing, you focus on your feet, and pull." The old woman tossed a leaf into the pool, and watched it float for a moment before turning back toward Ranma. "There, you go, that should be easy enough for you to get the basic idea. Give it a try."

Concentrating, the trainee did as he had been instructed, trying to reverse what he did to jump over buildings. As he started to step out onto the leaf, the water started to crawl up his leg, and almost instantly hitting bottom. "Shimata! Hey wait, it's warm..."

The ancient matriarch's chortles added insult to injury, but it was not enough for Ranma to lose his focus. "That was close, Son-in-law, but remember what I said, focus only on the bottoms of your feet for now, not your whole legs. Go ahead and get out, so you can try again..."

Within a moment, the young woman was hurrying as quickly as she could in the confining attire, tea kettle in one hand, and a bowl of ramen in the other. "Is coming! Here, eat first, try again! Is good, yes?" After handing him the bowl, she poured him a drink.

"Yeah, yer food's always good ...even when ya put some magic poison in it."

"Mushroom no was poison, only want Ranma huggy Shampoo..."

"Well, it ain't as bad as Kodachi's powders, but-..."

"Should just hug Shampoo when ask, then no need be sneak! If want Ranma huggy is wrong, Shampoo no want be right..."

It had only taken him a moment finish the soup, and as he handed the utensils Kasumi's words floated back though his mind, so he leaned over and gave her a quick squeeze, much to her surprise. "AIYAAAAA...!" The bowl crashing to the ground was barely even noticed by the young woman.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ukyo hurried home, she only had a little time between classes and when she needed to open her restaurant, and she had something she wanted, no she NEEDED to do while there was still time! She had considered her options all day, and had come up with part of a plan, and was ready to set it into motion. Running through the gate, she searched for the person she needed and was hoping to catch her alone...

Luckily for her, she managed to do just that, Kasumi stood there in the laundry room, folding clothing. "Kuonji-san? Is everything all right?"

"Yes and no... Ah came ta ask ya a favor." Suddenly shy, she shuffled her feet while Kasumi looked on patiently. "...Ah was hopin', I could ask ya ta switch days with meh..." She had not really expected her to agree, but after realizing her mistake the night before, she thought there might be a chance.

"Is that all right? Do you not have school and work?"

"Ah do, but Ah close early tamarrah, an' Ah wanted ta do it then, it's bettah fer meh to be open on th' weekends, so even if Ah got school th' next day..."

"I see, well, I would hate to see this impact your record at school, or your business." The look of concern on the older woman's face felt genuine to the young chef, yet there was a twinkle in her eye that seemed to belay that projected feeling.

"Uh, naw, it's okay, Ah kin manage that much..."

"If you insist, I suppose I do not mind, however, I do think you ought to make certain that Ranma-kun does not mind..."

"What, are ya sayin' ya know where they went?" Ukyo asked with a hopeful hint in her voice. "Ah'd be happy ta go ask if ya did."

"Now, now, even if I did, it would not be proper to interrupt their date, would you like it if someone did that on yours?"

"Huh? Yeah, sure, Ah guess not. We kin do that, when Ah git back tanight then..."

As Ukyo fled the room, she heard Kasumi's sweet voice calling out to her. "We will see you then."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

On her way to her shop, Ukyo heard unusual sounds coming from the recently silent Nekohanten, and if she had not been running so late, she would have gone to investigate. Something about it gave her a bad feeling, but she was unable to put her finger on what it might be.

As she entered her own restaurant, she was quickly greeted by her typically cheerful waitress. "Ukyo-sama! Welcome back! You look conflicted, is there anything I can do to help you?"

"Naw, it ain't nuthin' too bad, but I did get a date with Ranchan tamarrah!"

"That is wonderful! May I ask, what do you have planned?"

"Ah don't know, I mean, mah plan only went as far as gittin' my day switched ta a day sooner, ta cut out that ...other woman!"

"You switched to an earlier day without a plan for what to do on the date? That might not have been the best of ideas..."

"Ah jus' don't know what else ta do! It feels like Ranchan is slippin' further away from meh evah day!"

"For starters, I would suggest that you calm yourself, and think carefully-..."

"Ah know, but panickin' jus' feels so 'right'!"

"As a fellow practitioner of ninjutsu, you should know that hysteria is the path of failure. After we close, before you return, would you do me the honor of meditating with me?"

"Ah don't know ...Ah do gotta git back pretty soon."

"I will be here if you change your mind..." The waitress returned to getting the dining area ready for their afternoon rush.

"But, what kind'a date should Ah plan? What kin help meh git back on top?"

The kunoichi training caused a light blush at that line, but Konatsu quickly recovered. "Perhaps you could start with reminders of your mutual past, and the things that you both love in common."

"Hummm, Ah wonder..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Very nicely done Son-in-law, I knew you could get it quickly."

Ever the optimist, the bubbly young woman tried to look on the bright side of the already good news. "Aiyaa, Airen know faster can learn, more time get alone with Shampoo!"

"But, I-..." Ranma was about to protest, but he found a dumpling in his mouth.

"Well, then I suppose if that is the case, the two of you had better get going. We would not want you to waste that time your airen worked so hard to earn, would you?"

"HAI!" Shampoo did not waste a moment, before grabbing a hold of his hand, and quickly racing through the building, toward the street.

"Whoa, hey!" Ranma protested as he was being drug by the arm.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeesssss? What Airen need?" She turned her head as she cutely responded to him.

"Hey, just wait a second..."

Slowing to a stop, she turned to face him, taking both his his hands into hers. "Is Shampoo too too fast for Ranma?"

"...Not really, it's just ...I wanted ta say, 'thanks', ya know. I ...ya coulda done anythin' tonight, an' that's what ya chose... It ...it was really nice. I figured ya had somethin' else in mind fer sure... So, yeah, thank ya, I really appreciate what ya did there."

Ranma's lopsided smile warmed her heart, and she knew she made the right decision. "Is okay! Shampoo love help Ranma, any way can! ...But Airen..." She looked up into his eyes while fluttering her eyelashes. "...Date no over yet. Is ready for next place now?"

"More?" Ranma was starting to get a bad feeling about his situation...

"Much more, Kasumi-onee-chan date last too too long, so Shampoo want last all day! Is only fair, yes?"

"I guess..."

"No be that way." She stuck her tongue out at him with a grin. "Shampoo promise have more fun, but first, Airen get enough eat, or is still hungry?"

"Well, I can always eat but-..." Ranma paused as the squeal interrupted him.

"Is too too good trait for husband!"

"But, I guess I got enough fer now..."

"Is good, Shampoo have dessert for Ranma too too soon. We go this way..."

Shampoo resumed leading him from behind, pressing so tightly to his back and arm that he felt as if she were trying to merge with him. "Ya know, I think 'fusion' only works in the comics an' cartoons."

"That what Airen think, Shampoo prove wrong too too soon!"

"That another ancient technique yer gonna show me?" Ranma was not certain what to think, he did want to learn the new technique, but the idea of combining with someone else made him feel ...uncomfortable.

"Shampoo long want become one with Ranma! Show tonight if want..." She rested her head upon his shoulder, cooing into his ear.

"Really?"

"Of course! Is job of Airen to do! Shampoo always too too happy merge with Husband!"

Ranma thought that was a strange response, but after spending the last few hours training, he figured it was a thing in their village. "Thanks, I guess, but there're some other techniques I'd rather learn first..."

"Puu..." More than a bit disappointed, the young woman did not lose hope, some of Ranma's 'other techniques' had been amazing thus far. "Shampoo help teach anything want as long as together, as many thing as want, even thing no know want, like today."

"Huuummm..." That made Ranma think, he had never considered the practical applications of the skill he had learned today, or maybe he would have looked into it sooner. He had considered it little more than a parlor trick at the time, and not worth learning if he could not use it to win a fight. He had always prided himself on creative uses of his techniques, and almost wanted to kick himself for not thinking that one all of the way through. He clearly needed more practice, but if his idea worked, then his life was about to get much easier! ...and it was all thanks to... "Shampoo?" He placed his hand on hers, hoping to get her attention.

"Hai, Airen?" Her half-lidded eyes looked up at him, and he felt himself almost stumble. "What can Shampoo do?"

"Why're we at th' train station?" Being in such a public place, Ranma was feeling uncomfortable under all of the discrete stares they were receiving.

"Is for take train to date spot!" She smiled, her expression showing how obvious she thought her response had been.

"Where're we goin' then? Is it all that far?"

"No is far, only fifteen minute ride, just no want walk so much in Ranma Mother kimono. Hope Airen understand." She was used to far more freedom of movement, so she was finding it far more difficult to get around that she preferred.

"Yeah, I suppose they can be hard ta move in, if ya ain't used ta 'em." He tried to relax, but between the beauty on his arm and the rush of the crowds pushing them into the car, he was still a bit on edge.

"If Ranma like, then Shampoo learn love wear! Promise get too too good for Airen!"

"Ya ain't gotta go that far..." Ranma blushed as he pictured Shampoo wearing a formal kimono every day.

"Did no say like Shampoo when wear?"

Ranma was glad that no one on the crowded train could see his blushing face from their angle. "Well, yeah, ya DO look good in it, but yer always pretty, no matter what ya wear... I was just surprised is all. Ya ain't got ta make yerself all uncomfortable fer me."

"AIYAaaaaaa...! Did say Shampoo pretty? IS SO HAPPY!"

Ranma tried to 'shush' the squealing teen with little success. "Hey, people're starin'..."

"Is okay! Shampoo want whole world know! Spend whole day in Ranma arm!" To prove her point, she positioned herself in front of him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she gazed longingly into his eyes.

"Aw, come on now, ya ain't gotta do nuthin'..." Ranma blushed, unable to meet her loving stare.

"Yes do, promise Mother, help teach Husband what girl like, and tell girl that look good is too too important, so deserve reward! ...Shampoo know!" Reaching into the folds of her obi, she pulled out a piece of candy, and quickly unwrapped it before popping it into his mouth. "There go, like better ...for now?"

"Mmmm, that's good ...but I'm a guy, so I ain't supposed ta like that stuff..."

"Shhhhh... No one else know, and Shampoo no tell... Is cute little secret. Only want Ranma be happy, is okay relax with Shampoo."

One of the people in the seat next to where they were standing looked up at her and asked, "Your hair is luxurious. Is it all natural shampoo?"

"Better believe!"

"Then what brand is it?"

"Shampoo is name..."

"Yes, exactly, the name of the shampoo..."

"Shan Pu is only name what mother give!"

Ranma was about to try to explain the confusion when the train came to their stop, and the doors they were standing near, opened. "Excuse us..." Without another word, he pulled a confused Shampoo out of the train with him.

"What problem? Think old lady senile..."

"Never mind that, where're we goin'?"

The fickle young woman seemed to almost flip a switch as she went from being mildly annoyed, to shyly staring at the ground and fidgeting with her fingers. "Shampoo have small confess, this part of date for no just Ranma... Think like, but also want go see self, hear many customers talk about, sound too too good."

"Okay, so what is it?"

Once again, her mood instantly switched to a giddy excitement, and she was tugging on Ranma's arm, keeping him moving. "Is place call, 'Sunshine City'. Hear it huge shopping place, but big like city within city, with every kind shop. Places play, places eat, places shop, also have aquarium, museum, movies, and more...!"

He had to admit, some of that did sound like fun... "Okay, so then, what'd ya wanna do first?"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Is Ranma have fun?" Shampoo spun around and looked up into his face, with a look of pure delight on her own.

"Yeah, I can't believe they got so much stuff in one place, it really is like a whole city in here! I'd bet we could spend a week here and not see everything, even if we don't count the areas that're off-limits!" Ranma laughed, surprised to have found out how many floors were dedicated to normal offices.

"Shampoo always find hard believe people make so tall building!"

"It IS a pretty big one!" He chuckled lightly to himself. "So! What ya got planned next?"

"We go see fishies, is okay?" Pulling on his arm, she pulled him toward the next exhibit on the aquarium level. "So many pretty colors!"

"Yeah, kind a' reminds me a' yer village, with so many colors."

"No is so weird, Shampoo see many in Japan too, in place like Akihabara..."

"Yeah, but here it's people usin' hair dye, with you guys, it seems ...all natural." Ranma blushed thinking of all of the times he had seen her in the bath, and how he knew her hair color was not artificial, just like with his own cursed body.

"Aiyaa! Shampoo no know that... Why someone want change hair color?"

"I dunno, I guess some like ta stand out, but I also heard a' others that have other colors an' dye it black ta blend in better..."

"Is better be self..." She took his hand again, looking into his eyes, hoping that he understood that she also talking about him.

They both looked away from the tank at the same time and flinched at how close their faces were to each other. Knowing it would scare him off, and possibly ruin the moment, Shampoo exerted her willpower and resisted closing the gap to sneak in a kiss, instead, she turned shyly away with a blush. Restraint was not exactly one of the young woman's well honed skills, but she was doing everything to stick to her plan, there would be time enough for fun when they were alone!

"Urk, sorry...!"

As he tried to jump away, she quickly grabbed his hands and held him close. "No, is okay, Shampoo always happy with Ranma, but know make Airen ...uncomfortable, and no want ...embarrass in public. This date is for make Husband too too happy." 'So Husband make wife too too happy later...'

Ranma's eyebrows rose almost a centimeter, he was not exactly certain how to take that. His instincts told him that it was some kind of trap, but he also had been trying to encourage such behavior in her since they first met, so he did not want to look a gift-horse in the mouth. Looking for anything to distract himself from the beautiful girl before his eyes, another flash of color caught his attention. "Hey, look'it that!"

"What husband mean, is girl in bikini, if want see that..." Shampoo stuck out her tongue, and lightly tugged at her kimono, just enough to give a hint at what she meant.

"Urk! No! I didn't mean that! I was talkin' 'bout th' jellyfish over there, it's almost glowin'..."

Shampoo giggled at his embarrassment, sometimes it was just too difficult to resist teasing him... "Is okay, Shampoo know what mean. ...Aiyaaa! Is pengi!" Not letting go, she ran over to the next exhibit, where the penguins were playing, dragging Ranma along with her, his feet barely touching the ground.

One of them waddled over to them, rubbing his head against her hand, and she squealed in delight. Unlike many of the others, this one was wearing a name plate, on a small chain around its neck that read 'Pen', and it seemed particularly friendly, though it had a strange red crest on its head. She thought it was a bit too warm for a penguin habitat, but was not willing to worry about the details.

Ranma was too busy trying to figure out why he had not just been hit for the near kiss, by someone, to pay Shampoo and the bird much attention at first, but there was something about the cute way they looked together that drew his eye, and he could not help but find himself staring.

Shampoo had noticed his gaze and did her best to ignore it, the only outward sign was that her smile grew ever so slightly. "Is no just cutest thing?" While still appearing to focus her attention on the penguin, she basked in the feeling of his eyes upon her, to her he was far cuter than any bird after all.

Normally, someone approaching them in a crowded place like this would not have caught his attention, but the leggy woman clearly had her sights on them as walked with a purpose in her step. Her hair had a bluish-purple tint, and she wore a uniform that indicated that she was an employee, though she did not appear upset at them, so Ranma relaxed a bit even as he kept himself between her and Shampoo. He could tell that the woman could pose a bit of a threat if she had the inclination.

"I see Pen-Pen's made a new friend. How are you folks doing today?" She smiled as she closed the gap.

Shampoo turned her head and gazed longingly at Ranma for a moment. "Every day with Airen is good day!"

"Humm, 'Airen', that is Mandarin for spouse or lover, yes?"

"Is true!"

Ranma felt the piercing eyes, hungrily take him in as the woman stared him up and down, feeling like a slab of beef.

"I don't blame you, it looks like you got lucky ...unlike me! I think it's gonna be me and you forever Pen-Pen! ...Oh, sorry about that, I didn't mean to dump on you."

"Yeah, ain't no big deal..." Eager to change the subject, Ranma asked about something that had been bothering him. "Ain't it kind a', ya know, 'warm' here fer penguins?"

"What a good eye you have! Yes, if these were normal penguins, then it would be, however these are Fiorland penguins, a breed of Erect-crested penguins from New Zealand, they like the heat, and Pen-Pen is special even beyond that."

"Huh? What'd ya mean?"

"Well, I am not sure I should really get into that, but I will tell you what, I was coming here because it is Pen-Pen's feeding time, would you like to join us? Maybe we can talk about it more."

Shampoo did not want to give up her alone time with Ranma, but to spend more time with the cute little flightless waterfowl was something she did not wish to pass-up. "Is okay, Airen?"

"Well, ya know I can always eat..." With little hesitation, they followed the woman whose name tag read 'Katsuragi', after she lifted the penguin into her arms, walking around the exhibit, and into a hidden door. They followed her down a hallway that was clearly not open to the public, walking until they reached one of many nondescript doors.

Entering said room was quite a contrast to the perfectly sterile-looking hallways of the rest of the section. It looked as if it should have been condemned by the health department. "Sorry about the mess, the cleaning staff hasn't been here for hours!"

"What?" Ranma was stunned beyond belief, even Hinako had not been that bad.

Noticing his horror, Shampoo reached over to hold his hand reassuringly. "Is okay, Airen."

"They used to only come three days a week, but some of my neighbors would complain..."

"I'll bet..." Without thinking, Ranma had broken free and found himself cleaning, moving almost too quickly for the normal eye to see.

"Hey, you don't have to do that, you are a guest, let me grab something to drink, you like beer?"

"Yeah, I kind a' do, can't really help it." The living room had almost been half cleared. "But, we're still too young, so thanks anyway..."

"Whoa, thanks! You're fast! Give me a moment, I'll go grab some coffee and noodle cups!" By the time she had returned a few minutes later, tray in hand, Ranma had already seated himself next to a joyous Shampoo, and her room seemed to sparkle. "How?" She almost dropped the refreshments as she took in how clean everything was now. "Even the professionals can't do this well in a few hours!"

Shampoo glanced proudly at Ranma and smiled. "Is Husband too too good training!"

"Husband training, huh? Interesting. You should rent this guy out, you could make a fortune..."

"One girl try that, no end well. If Shampoo share Husband, only do with one worthy, no for money!"

The older woman's eyes went wide, briefly flirting with the idea of asking what would be required to be considered 'worthy', before shaking the idea out of her mind. "No, I mean like a cleaning service."

"...Anything Goes Martial Arts Cleaning Service?" Ranma chuckled at the idea of yet another silly twist on the craft. The art was nothing if not versatile.

"What? Why that?"

"It's the name of my style..."

"Anything goes cleaning?"

"No, 'Anything Goes Martial Arts', the cleaning thing's new ...one Pops'd probably not be too happy with." Ranma grimaced at that element of his school, despite how entertaining the expression was that he imagined on the older man if he found out he had done such a thing.

"No worry what stupid panda think, Mother much more nice, and when choose Shampoo, then Great-Grandmother teach!"

"Huh? 'Choose', didn't you say you were married?"

Ranma shrugged, preferring to ignore the topic when possible. "Depends on who ya ask..."

"I am asking you..."

If Shampoo had not gently placed her hand on his leg, he would have jumped to his feet in protest. "I ain't married nobody!"

Shampoo grinned as she quietly interjected her own two yuan worth. "Yet..."

"Then what-...?"

"Is law of village, if warrior beat by outsider male, then must give kiss of marriage, but husband stubborn, no want do duty, but Shampoo no give up!" She admired muscles as they tensed and relaxed again.

"Do you want sugar, or cream?" She quickly served the coffee before cracking open her own beer. "So, you are just doing this because your laws tell you that you must?"

"NO! Law is no is reason love Ranma! Is just, how say, formality."

"I see. So, your name is 'Ranma'? Sorry about that, you can call me 'Misato', and you are?"

"Name is 'Shampoo'!" She thrust out her chest proudly, defying anyone to make fun of her village's rich heritage!

Raising an eyebrow was the only sign that the woman found it the least bit strange. "Anyone want curry powder for their noodles?"

"Uh, no ...thanks." Ranma glanced over at Shampoo, he could not believe that anyone would eat like that. Having eaten the ramen made at her shop for so long he felt spoiled.

Shampoo's eyes twinkled as she could see how much he preferred her cooking over what they had been served. She nodded back at him, reminding him that she would be happy to make more for him at any time.

Their silent conversation was interrupted as their oblivious host looked up from her container. "So, what brings you two here today?"

"Ya invited us..."

"Is date day! Is rare Shampoo get date with Ranma all by self!" She smiled warmly at her 'husband'.

"What? 'By yourself', with this guy? I am confused..."

"Shampoo no is only one what want woo Airen..."

"...I see, not that I can really blame you. Finding the right partner can be difficult." She turned her attention to the shy young man sitting on her couch, twiddling his fingers. "What about you? Who do you want to marry?"

"Huh? Nobody!" Ranma blurted it out without thinking, as always, but the look in the young woman's eyes made him instantly regret it. He tried to let her know how sorry he was for his thoughtlessness, but she just rolled her eyes, briefly giving him the cold shoulder ...not that she could ever stay upset with him for long.

"So you just intend to play with these girls' bodies?" Misato gave him a critical eye.

"Shampoo wish!" She leveled an accusatory glare at him, imploring him to do just that.

The hurt expression she got in return made her flinch. "Hey, I ain't no pervert!"

She pouted back at him, letting him know that it hurt her too. "Is no from lack of Shampoo trying..."

"Oh, tell me about it! It's been so long! Let me tell you, this one time, back in college, I spent an entire week in bed with boyfriend, doing it non-stop! ...It was wooonderful..." The older woman leaned back in her chair as she momentarily tried to relive her memory.

"What? Is everyone in the world doin' that perverted stuff?"

"Yes! Though calling it 'perverted stuff' makes it sound 'bad', and it is anything but, if you are careful."

"No believe Shampoo and family when keep say..."

"I wonder why..." Ranma's weary face showed the look of one long tired of fighting off unwanted advances.

Misato had to stifle a giggle at the reversal of the typical date struggle. "Well then, take it from me, an unrelated party, it feels AMAZING, and as long as you are careful, you should do it while you are still young enough to 'really' enjoy it!"

"What mean? Grandmother never say no feel as good when get older!"

"Oh no, it always feels good, but you have more stamina now, so you can 'really' enjoy it longer."

"Husband have too too much energy, Shampoo think never run out!"

"You think that now, just wait twenty years..."

An image of Ranma lazing about as a panda with a tire appeared in her mind before she quickly shook it clear. "No, Airen never be like stupid father!"

"Damn right I won't! Who'd want ta be like that jerk?"

"Then need no ignore devoted wife!" Ranma flinched at the look of disappointment she flashed him.

"Your girlfriend makes a good point. ...Not that I 'know' your father, but if you ignore your spouse, you will lose them!"

"As if it were that easy..." Ranma jumped as Shampoo pinched his side.

"Is too too easy make Shampoo happy." She winked at him to let him know that she would forgive him, and hoping that he would stop resisting her, but he missed it as he turned a critical eye on their host.

"If it ain't pops, then who is it ya know, Mom? Who paid ya ta say all this?"

"What? No one! I just like to chat when I drink, and you two look interesting." Tossing the now empty beer aside, she opened another.

Before the can could even drip, never mind hitting the floor or anywhere else, Ranma had caught it, depositing it in the nearest aluminum recycling bin, before returning to his seat. "Hey! I just cleaned that."

The younger girl favored her elder with a smile. "Shampoo think 'Misato' interesting too." Not yet wanting to offend the woman with any of the unflattering nicknames she had thought of thus far, she chose to use her name instead for the time being.

Still focused on Ranma, Misato crumpled a chip bag in her hand and casually tossed it as she watched Ranma blur into motion, refusing to allow the room to become messy again. "Are you certain you do not want a job? You are so much better than my regular cleaners." She just looked at the young man with a look of amazement.

"I dunno, what are ya talkin' about? Just comin' here an' cleanin', what, once a day er somethin'?"

"You do not need to come every day, but as often as you can, at least a few days a week, or so, I will make it worth your while..."

The way the woman had said that sent a warning signal down Shampoo's spine, but before she could react, Ranma spoke.

"Well, it ain't like it'd take more 'en about five minutes ta get here if I run, and it don't take 'that ' long, even with as messy as it is..."

Misato was taken aback by how casually he insulted her, not that she could find the worlds to argue his point. "You don't mince words, do you?"

"Husband sometimes is ...too too honest."

"Well, the offer stands, and I promise, you will be ...well compensated for your work. You could afford to go out on more dates."

"Yeah, I guess, it ain't like it'll take long, this place don't look THAT big... Bigger 'en Sensei's place, but what ain't, right?" Ranma grinned at his date, as they share a moment of mirth.

"If do, then Shampoo help!" Even if she did not love the idea of spending more time with Ranma and helping him with anything she could, she was not about to leave him alone with this woman for long, no matter how nice she was! There was just something about the way she eyed him that Shampoo did not trust.

"WONDERFUL! When can you start?"

"Well, it ain't like I got a real busy schedule. What time ya need, is mornin' okay?"

"What, before school?"

"Naw, I ain't got a dojo a' my own no more, an' I can't go ta that dumb school no more neither. Not that I mind, people there're always tryin' ta date me, er kill me, it ain't nuthin' but problems!" Though he had to admit, that was a mixed bag in and of itself, his new far more peaceful life was nice, but he almost missed the frequent battles. He was almost disappointed by how quickly Happosai had fallen the night before.

"Oh, no, that is not good, your education is important!"

"Is okay, Husband can live in village with Shampoo!"

"Why would I need ta do that? Ya said ya didn't want ta force me ta go back there, even if I did agree ta th' marriage."

"Shampoo no 'make' do, but village honor for skills what have, not what no want learn."

"Perhaps, but the more you know, the better off you will be."

"Maybe, but it's jus' so BORING! It's jus' so hard ta pay attention when they take so long ta say th' simplest things. It's been a lot easier since Hinako-sensei started teachin' me at home..."

"Oh, you have a private tutor! That is different, you mist be a very lucky young man." If the boy is that well off, she might need to pay him a bit more than she had hoped for him to be happy with the pay, but he certainly seemed worth it, and helping him just felt right to her on some level.

"Is that how it looks ta ya?"

"Sure does. You are very skilled, you are well off enough to be home schooled, you have several young ladies chasing after you, and if the others are even half as beautiful as this cutie, then I would say it looks like you have a pretty good life..."

"That's cause ya ain't seen nuthin'... Ya don't know what I had ta go through ta get these skills. I got people constantly jumpin' out a' th' woodwork, always wantin' ta marry er kill me, even my so called friends, an' some of um want ta do both! Most of it all 'cause a' my dumb Pops, doin' stuff without thinkin' it through." Ranma did not know why he was willing to talk like that in front of a stranger, nor was he aware of how ironic someone criticizing 'not thinking things through' sounded coming from him, and he completely miss the guilty expression Shampoo had for a moment at his accusations.

"Well, now that's something I can relate to. When I was just a few years younger than you, my father locked me in a protective capsule just before their whole team was killed. I still have a scar on my chest from where it happened." Pulling up her shirt, she stopped just short of revealing her breasts, so they could see a huge scar across her chest.

"Oh, that IS a good one! Most a' mind healed pretty quick, but ya can still see a lot a' 'em, especially the earliest ones, before I learned ta heal with my ki, like from the cats, a lot a them never really healed right..."

Looking closely as Ranma partially removed his shirt, they saw hundreds of tiny marks all over his chest, arms, and back.

"Aiyaa... Those scar is from stupid Cat-fist training, so long ago? Always wonder why no heal like other wound." To have not healed after so many years, she figured they must have been very deep, her heart when out to the child form of Ranma. Shampoo wanted to join them in showing off her skin, to distract him from his painful memories if nothing else, but had no idea how she would put the kimono back on if she even tried. "Is way of warrior training, have many scar, show husband later, but no is good for child that young, be hurt so bad..."

"How old were you?"

"I don't remember exactly, not quite seven, I guess? A few months after we ...left Ucchan."

Misato could see the sudden sadness cross his face, and did not want to pry into what he meant. Luckily for her, a distraction presented itself at that moment, as her penguin chose that minute to enter the room with a plate of food in one flipper and a beer in the other. Plopping down on a lounger, he turned on an American television show and began eating.

"Oh Al, I've never been so scared in my life!"

"What's the matter Peggy, did you see the vacuum?"

"Hey, turn that off, you know I hate that show!" Pen-Pen gave her a knowing look and she almost fell over in her chair. "Yes, okay! Are you happy, it IS because it feels like that guy is yelling at me because I can't clean!"

"Is like see older, pretty, violent-pervert girl."

"Nah, Akane ain't 'sthat' messy!"

"Maybe, when no is cooking..."

"Al, who would you rather spend the night with, A) your wife, or-..."

"B)!"

Ranma could not help but stare at the unusual way the penguin acted. "So what IS the deal, that just ain't normal. Do ya need some hot water ta change it back?"

"What? Hot water? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Ya mean that ain't a curse?"

"What? No! I guess it is okay to tell you, if you are going to be working for us after all. Pen-Pen was part of a secret genetic experimental program, New Zealand's Engineering for the Recovery of Variety, or 'N.E.R.V.' for short, they experimented on all kinds of animals, trying to create new species. I don't know exactly what happened, but the funding got cut and they terminated the program. So, when I found out that they were going to terminate the project, and 'everything' that went along with it, I had to do something! One day I grabbed Pen-Pen, and we never looked back..."

"So that's why ya work at th' aquarium?"

"Sometimes the best place to hide-..."

"...-Is in plain sight."

"Husband is good at trick, teach Shampoo." She glanced back up at him, thanking him for his instruction with her eyes.

"What trick?" Misato was openly curious, wondering what they meant.

"Hide in sight. Is part of, how say, 'Ninja Clean' technique?"

"Ninja cleaning...?"

"Airen, show Pengi-Girl how work..."

"That's 'Pengi-WOMAN', thank you very much. ...Hey, wait a minute."

"Okay, sure..." Ranma got to his feet with a fluidity that seemed inhuman, and more quickly than Misato could blink, he seemed to vanish before her eyes! "How...?"

"Is easy, just hide presence, move too too fast, stay out of sight, is behind now."

She whipped her head around, trying to spot Ranma who managed to stay one step ahead of her, tapping her on the shoulder, and remaining out of sight until she fell over.

Shampoo's infectious giggles filled the room, and everyone quickly joined her as Ranma stopped trying to hide. "Is too too funny..."

Looking up from the floor, Misato tried to stop laughing and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Oh, man, you ARE good! I'll tell you what, if you want to start tomorrow, I will even pay you for today."

"Huh? Sure... Why not?"

"That's great, if you can come every day, I will call and cancel my old service, they always complained about the job anyway. Let me show you around the apartment..." Each of the small rooms were a mess, from the dishes in the kitchen, to the garments strewn about the bedroom and changing room. "I don't need you to do the laundry everyday, but the hamper is in here."

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"What Airen thinking...?" Shampoo was once again clinging to Ranma's back as they walked toward the train station.

"I don' know, it's weird ta think I just got a 'job', and it ain't martial arts..."

"Sure is! Is Anything Go, Martial Art, Ninja Clean!" She gave him a warm smile, hoping to make him feel better about it, since he might blame her for it later if he was not thrilled abut it later.

"Well, yeah, I guess so... It still feels a bit ...girlie."

"No is sense making. That Stupid-Panda talking!"

"Easy fer ya ta say, it's normal fer men ta do that stuff in yer village, right?"

"Is normal for all people do, is strange for some no do. Is bad expect other do all for, yes? Is no what say about Onee-chan?"

"I guess..." Ranma thought about the encouragement he had received from so many of the people around him, and how much different his life had been since he stopped listening to his father. While he still had Shampoo and Ukyo fighting over him, but the brawls and most of the arguments had all but stopped, and without hanging out in that school, even the occasional attacks had slowed dramatically. In some ways, it was almost ...boring, not that he was campaigning! While he did miss the excitement of the nearly constant brawls, being able to relax occasionally was nice too. "But ya seem ta be pushin' it, what's up? Is it that stuff Misato said about 'more dates'?" He raised an eyebrow curiously, wanting to understand her motivation.

"No, if Ranma go out with Shampoo, Shampoo too too happy pay! If live in village, no need money, so no need work 'job', just help family and friends. No care about job for Shampoo, but look to Shampoo like Ranma want do job. Know like feel useful, want help, like Kasumi-onee-chan pay bill. If can help Ranma feel good, Shampoo want help ...any way can!"

The pressure on his back grew stronger as her arms disentangled themselves from his arm, and wrapped around his chest as she nipped at his neck. "Could ya stop that then...?"

"But feel good, yes?"

"Well, yeah, I mean 'no', but-..."

"If say feel good, then Shampoo do more!"

"But, it's embarrassin'!"

"Is okay, who care what other people think?"

"I do."

"Why? No know those people."

"So? What's that matter?"

"If no know, why care?"

"I don't want people thinkin' I'm a bad guy!" His voice dropped even lower, and Shampoo barely heard him. "...I get enough a' that as it is."

"Aiyaaa, Airen no is 'bad guy', is 'best guy'! That why Shampoo want show world, have most best man to self ...at least for one night!"

"Thanks, I guess, but some days, it feels like yer th' only one, and that ain't even all th' time. ...But hey, th' train station is right there."

"Is no go there yet, have one more place go for date!"

"Are ya sure, it's pretty late, can't be much still open..."

"Ranma be surprised what open."

"What, just like bars, an' stuff we're too young ta do, right?"

"Is part, yes."

"Then where?"

"Is okay, Shampoo study map, know where go..." She had hoped that he would at least relax a bit when they got to a part of town where other women were draped over their dates as well, but it only seemed to make matters worse.

After turning off of Heiwai street, the roads grew more narrow, but glowed brightly from all of the neon signs peeking out from every corner. They walked for a couple of more blocks before Shampoo guided them into another side street. The first thing that Ranma noticed was that every building was brightly lit and gaudy, it seemed most of them were some type of hotel, the first one boldly sporting the name 'Hotel King'! "Hey, what're ya-...?"

"Kasumi-onee-chan got Ranma for over night to self, so Shampoo do too!"

"Uh-oh..." Ranma slowed his pace, almost stopping.

"What-oh?" Suddenly, Shampoo felt waves of warmth coming from Ranma, as she noticed the aggressive presences surround them. Now it was her turn to look uncomfortable, as she was not in any position to fight in her current outfit, she was debating on if she wanted to back away from him, to give him space to fight, or if she wanted to stick close to him for protection, when one of them spoke.

"Ain't cha just th' cutest things?" Seeing the two nicely dressed youths, hanging all over each other, they had assumed they found an easy mark, who had been out partying all evening. "Planin' ta have some grown-up fun are we?" The large man's companions laughed and cheered. "I got news fer yas, ya should'a stuck ta th' main roads, this here alley's OUR turf, an-..."

"This 'alley'? Yer terf's an alleyway? Oh come on! Ya believe this guy?" Ranma glanced at his date, openly mocking the thugs.

"Hey, you got any idea who runs this neighborhood?"

"No, an' I don't care. I know it can't be you losers."

One of the toughs walked over to whisper near the leader of the gang. "Hey, boss, ain't that that guy those guys in Hakone talked about?"

Not completely hearing his underling, their leader continued his posturing. "It's the Ganbino family! An' this is our part of their territory! Ya better be careful what ya-..." His voice trailed off, becoming too low for most to hear. "Wait, wut? Wazn't that guy supposed ta be really tough 'er somethin'?"

"Oooo, ain't ya just a tough guy! Controllin' one small alley, in someone else's territory. Like I'd be scared a some wimp who needs weapons an' a gang ta feel like a man."

"Wait, Ranma, Shampoo no can-..." Without warning, Ranma had hefted her into his arms, and quickly tossed her into the air as the large man nodded and two of his men charged forward. Neither of them had even managed to clear half of the gap before Ranma had surged forward, knocking them both unconscious. He did not hesitate, instead he continued his charge, as he tossed their weapons into one pile, and their bodies into another, all before hurrying back in time to catch Shampoo before she landed gently in his arms. "Aiyaa...! Is Shampoo hero!"

Ranma almost fell over as the woman in his arms locked lips with him, and did not want to let him come up for air. It had taken him several minutes to break free and managed to stand, however Shampoo had not let go, and remained clinging to his neck. "It's safe, ya can get down now..."

Shaking her head, she clung to him more tightly. "No can walk. Airen carry Shampoo, yes?"

"I don't know where we're goin'."

"Is almost there, go there, and is second building on right."

"Hotel ...Queen?"

Shampoo nodded emphatically. "Is best sound name!"

"But, ain't that one a' them 'love hotels'?"

Again, Shampoo nodded vigorously. "Great-Grandmother say is best place for lovers to go ...Airen! Have many special service no in other hotel. Many people tell Shampoo is too too nice place stay. Serve food, rent movie, even help Shampoo fix kimono when leave!"

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OMAKE 12

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"Come my son, there are many more things you need to know."

"But Mom, I got stuff ta do!"

"I am aware, but before you go out on your date, I need to teach you a few more things."

"What'd ya mean?"

"We need to make certain that you measure up." Nodoka reached into her bag, and pulled out a large bottle of rice wine as she began to sing. "Just a spoonful of sake helps your girlfriend go down, your girlfriend go dooown, your girlfriend go down. Just a spoonful of sake helps your girlfriend go down, in a most delightful waaay!"

Listening to her song, Ranma only felt more confused as he was finally shuffled out of the room to finish getting dressed.

Nodoka watched him go as she continued singing. "Just a spoonful of sake helps your husband go down, your husband go doooooown, your husband go down, in the mostly passable way..."

{This fake scene is a parody, and no one involved in this project advocates 'pulling a Cosby' in any way, shape, or form. This is intended as a joke, for use with consenting couples who are already together, and enjoy alcohol, to enhance their mood, not for coercion. So, please, no notes about how I am advocating rape or anything again this time. ;p}

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NOTES

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Sorry about ending this where I did, I wanted to finish the date, but I ran out of gas and had to sleep. The reworks in the last couple of chapters have had me running late, and I figured this was better than delaying the chapter by another day. Hopefully I will be able to get back on track, for the rest of this, only about two weeks to go at this rate, and then I can try to sleep again! ;)

How will our date end? Tune in next time and find out, when we see, 'Working Date', or 'Dating with the Fishes'.


	41. Chapter 41

Surveys show that people either really like my stories, or really hate them ...or are completely indifferent toward them. The only exceptions to this, are the people who don't know they exist.

Sorry the chapter is a bit short this time, I wanted this to be in the last one, but did not make it, and I did not want to start the next one only to cut it off right away. So, let's get to it...

Chapter 41 - Working for Fun

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Ukyo had rushed home, hoping to find out how Ranma's date with Shampoo had gone, but they had not yet returned by the time she had gotten home. She was in no mood to deal with the others, so after her bath, she went to wait in Ranma's room, alone. She did wonder why no one else had joined her as it grew later, but she did not want to look a gift-horse in the mouth.

As she thought about what they could be doing that would keep them out so late, her paranoia took over and she began to imagine some of the most lurid scenes. The longer she sat there, the more her fantasies combined with her memories of Ranma's 'oral exam' from the last week, and her hands began to move on their own.

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Shampoo had removed the heavy kimono, to reveal that she had been wearing a thin negligee underneath it. The fabric was thin enough that Ranma could tell that she was wearing nothing beneath it, and he was doing his best to keep his eyes averted, which had been proving to be a challenge as she seemed to be flaunting herself before him whenever he would least expect it, even as they watched a movie on the rather large television.

"Airen like dinner?" She sat down on the bed next to him, taking his hand in hers, and just enjoyed watching him for a moment.

"It was okay, I guess, ain't as good as nuthin' you, er th' others make though..."

Shampoo blushed for a moment at the complement before felt a playful urge. "Even violent Pervert-Girl?"

"No, a' course it's better than Akane's cookin'!" He was kept in his seat as she gave him a quick hug.

"Is good, Shampoo no pay if that bad!" The two shared a small chuckle at the youngest Tendo's expense. Clearing the dishes, Shampoo made certain to bend over in as many tantalizing ways as she could manage, without being too obvious as to what she was doing. "Shampoo also order small sundae ...then after, Ranma get dessert." She added a cute bounce as she turned around, with a large bowl of ice cream, witch was loaded down with every topping he could imagine. Taking a large scoop onto one of the spoons, she held it out toward Ranma's mouth. "Aaaaaahhh..."

Ranma agonized over it for a moment, debating on if he wanted to refuse the "unmanly" desert, and finally made his decision. "Hey, Shampoo, hold on, let me get some cold water, an'-..."

"No! Shampoo no mind girl side, but is here date boy-type Ranma, no fair chicken out!"

"But, that's such a 'girlie'-... Hey, I ain't 'chicken'!"

"Is true? Who know? Who see? Is just two us, and Shampoo already promise, keep secret. No need worry, no matter what do, Shampoo always think Ranma is most manly mens of all! Shampoo love Airen just way is! Just want be self for Shampoo... Is okay?" Her eyes pleaded with him, hoping to tear down the walls that kept her from his heart.

She looked like she was on the verge of tears, and while he was fairly certain that she was at least partly faking it, he found himself caving in to her demands anyway. Unable to resist any further, he just opened his mouth and said, "Aaaahh..."

"Aiyaaa, so happy!" She did not waste any time shoveling several bites into his mouth as quickly as he could eat them before finally handing the other spoon to him with a huge grin. "Now we take turn, Ranma give Shampoo bite!"

As she expected, Ranma was hesitant at first, but after a bit of nonverbal encouragement, he started to grow more comfortable, and before long they had almost finished the entire sundae. Taking one of the last scoops of melted cream onto her spoon, she intentionally allowed part of it to drip onto her exposed chest and shivered as it slid into her cleavage. "Aiyaaaa, need Ranma help, Shampoo spill ice cream on breasts, Airen lick off please, yes?"

Ranma was reluctant, watching as the ice cream slid down her chest as her words from earlier replayed in his mind. 'Shampoo keep secret. Keep secret. Keep secret.'

Tired of his indecisiveness, Shampoo reached out and pulled his barely resisting head toward her, bringing his mouth directly to the lowest part of the drip. After what seemed to them as an eternity, Ranma cautiously did as he was told, and licked up the 'mess'. "Aiyaaa... Do more. Is too, too happy! ...Wo ...ai ...niiiii!"

Shampoo did not want to let him go, but their movie ended, and felt another, far more urgent need. She held onto him for as long as she could before finally releasing him with a kiss on the top of his head. "Wode Airen, do too too good thing when help clean wife! Ranma pick last movie, when come back, Shampoo pick movie ...and bring chocolate syrup!"

The young woman happily pranced toward the lavatory with visions of Ranma dancing in her head as he lay on the comfortable bed. For his part, Ranma sat in a daze for several moments, waiting for her return. However, by the time she had reappeared after taking a moment to primp, Ranma, who had been left with nothing to do, had fallen asleep.

"Aiyaa! Stupid bladder, make Shampoo miss chance! Knew should no have so much tea!" The lights still being on gave her a unique opportunity to stand there watching his sleeping face in clear view, which she took a few moments to enjoy before climbing into the bed next to him. "Well, no is total loss, still too too fun date, and Ranma now have job with Shampoo! Well, before get wrinkle, dutiful bride need save husband outfit!"

After staring at him for a bit longer, she quickly untied the string on his silk pants before slowly sliding them off of him, folding them, and placing them carefully to the side. His boxers had only slid about halfway over his hip, and she decided to ignore it for the time being. Her nimble fingers deftly undid the fasteners on his blue silk shirt with gold trim, and she slowly traced a line down his chest with her finger. Unbuttoning his shirt was one thing, removing it was another task entirely, and she had not wanted to risk rolling him over onto his back, but it had been her only option. Luckily for her, Ranma was a very deep sleeper, and nearly impossible to awaken.

She gazed longingly at his mostly bare body as she considered leaving his matching bracers on to save time, but her dedication to what she saw as her duty as his wife won out over her desires, and she carefully removed them as well. Once done, only his boxers remained, and he gazed at him with unrestrained lust in her eyes. She started to lick her lips in anticipation of her nightly 'duty', she decided that she needed to double down on her usual activities, since he would be with Ukyo the next night.

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Ranma awoke to find that he was wearing only his boxers, and that a nearly naked Shampoo was clinging to him with her vice-like grip. She cutely 'cooed' as she rubbed against him in her sleep, and he felt bad about needing to disturb her, but he needed to move soon. His leg and arm had fallen asleep as well, and were numb, making it difficult to pry himself free. One of her hands was particularly inconvenient in its location, with what it was gripping, and he was not certain if he would be able to get out of bed without waking her. The more he tried to free himself, the tighter her grasp became.

Her lovely face contorted into a look of fear, and she started to mumble in her sleep. "No ...Airen no leave Shampoo! ...Do 'anything' if stay! ...Please! ...no leave..."

The look of desperation combined with the budding tears, and Ranma's resolve to move fled for the hills. "No, Shampoo, I ain't leavin'." 'But I DO gotta 'go'...' While he felt one form of relief as her face softened back into a relaxed smile, there was another, more pressing one that needed abating. "Aw, come on Shampoo, I need ya ta let go ...at least fer a minute."

"Ranma 'need' Shampoo?"

"I guess I do need a favor, are ya awake?"

"No."

"Hey! Are ya messin' with me?"

"Little bit... What wrong?" Her sweet sleeping smile twisted into a light grin and one eye cracked open.

"I gotta get up fer a minute, I promise, I'll come right back."

"Aiyaaa... That make Shampoo happy, but if Ranma go, Shampoo want go too!"

"But, I gotta go ta th'-..." Ne nodded toward the facilities.

"Is okay, Shampoo go too, husband and wife have no secret."

"But ...you said-..."

"Shampoo say keep Ranma secret, so Ranma no keep secret from Shampoo."

Ranma considered that for a moment. "Okay, so if we ain't got no secrets, then if I ask ya stuff, ya won't lie ta me, right?"

"Is true, Shampoo no want ever lie Ranma!"

"Really? It don't seem like it." The lack of trust in his tone was clear, and she hated to admit that she had somewhat deserved it.

Ranma saw the crushed look on her face and it hurt him to have caused it. "Is true, Shampoo no always tell whole truth, but Ranma no always tell Shampoo whole truth too!"

"But, that's different!"

"How is?"

"'Cause ya were tryin' ta kill me, an' later also marry me!"

"Is no more reason should be honest? If no had lie, then save both much trouble."

"Well, I guess that's true, but how could I know? It ain't like we could talk real good, and ya didn't seem like ya wanted ta do much talkin' anyway."

"Is true, but if try..."

"Hey, I DID try, but ya didn't wanna listen ta me! 'Sides, I didn't figure ya could understand anything I said!"

"Some, but Shampoo learn fast!"

"Not 'fast' enough..."

"How fast is Ranma learn Mandarin?" When he did not respond, she continued. "Who go to other country, and no try learn some of language?"

"My idiot Pops, but we did get that guide..."

"But is guide only for Jusenkyo, no for all China, and as see, no much know most about rest of country, is 'specialize'."

"Yeah, I guess, but that wasn't my fault..."

"Who is biggy fool, one what do, or one what follow?" She stuck out her tongue, winking at her bed-mate.

"HEY! I didn't have a choice..."

"Shampoo only joking, is why easy forgive Husband."

Her soft giggles relaxed him somewhat, but something bothered him about that thought, and he cocked an eyebrow at her statement. "Easy?"

"Once final know what true, yes, Shampoo be too too easy for Ranma."

As Ranma thought about that, he had to concede, that she did seem to 'forgive' him rather easily, which brought him back to his original question. "If that's so, then tell me this. Why ya so quick ta jump on me, and fight so hard fer me an' stuff... How can ya say ya love me so easily?"

"Is too too easy! Is too too much Ranma love!" Her eyes sparkled as she thought about her feeling for him.

"But why, ya didn't know me at first, it was just those dumb laws a' yers."

Pausing for a moment, she reminded herself that he did not mean it as badly as it sounded. "Law no is dumb, lead Shampoo to best husband could ask!"

"But ya couldn't a' known that, ya didn't know me at all, I could a' been like Happosai er Kuno er somethin'!"

Shampoo hung her head for a moment. "Is hard explain, and reason now is no same reason as first." Shampoo paused for a moment, and Ranma waited as patiently as he could under the circumstances. "No want Ranma explode, so tell story on way, is okay?"

At this point, Ranma was happy enough to finally be able to move, that he was beyond caring about anything else. As he rushed over to the restroom, he was still a bit dismayed that she actually followed him.

"When chase after Ranma and Panda, was first time Shampoo leave area around village by self." She sighed as she thought back on that day which now seemed so long ago.

"Yeah, so?"

"Shampoo is tell story, no interrupting please."

"Sorry." Ranma looked sheepish as he went to wash his hands.

"Is okay, still love Ranma!" She favored him with one of her sparkling smiles as she took his place on the toilet, only slightly disappointed as he turned away from her. "As was say, was first time go so far from village by self, and everywhere Shampoo go, when no can find cute girl must kill," She winced herself as she saw Ranma flinch at that. "Shampoo keep see most handsome man, everywhere look. Was like dream, always there, encourage Shampoo do best. Tell true, Shampoo think might be go crazy from so much losing. But always there, Handsome-Boy, like was follow Shampoo, to make feel nice, like someone care for poor girl who out of element.

"So when see that Handsome-Boy follow Shampoo all way Japan, knew must be, how say ...fate? Know boy always be there for Shampoo, so when Handsome-Boy beat Shampoo, no could be more happy! So happy, almost want die! Then find out boy what like, is girl what need kill, Shampoo then so sad want die! Then find out is boy first, so happy again! No need kill girl, and get marry boy what make so happy!" As she washed her hands, she favored him with an adoring smile.

"But, that wasn't, I mean, I wasn't, it was just cause a' th' curse, ya know..."

She threw her arms around him, hugging him from behind. "Shampoo know, but even if first reason no was true, more learn what true about Ranma, more Shampoo love Ranma. Handsome-Boy is no just handsome and strong, but also too too good person, who always try help people when in trouble, even ones what try kill." The young warrior had the decency to look embarrassed about her earlier mistakes. "Learn Ranma is perfect boy for making Shampoo happy for every way!

"As a martial artist, I put my life on th' line every day, but it ain't right when other people get involved."

Shampoo's head sunk as she moved around to face him, unable to meet his eyes. "Shampoo sorry, wish could start over different!"

"Yeah, I know that feelin'." Ranma could certainly sympathize with wanting a 'do-over', most of his life consisted of moving from one such moment to the next.

A bit more at ease, by his reaction, she felt more confident in her next move. "Is Shampoo turn ask question, is okay?"

Ranma was surprised by that, but he thought it was only fair so he could not disagree. "Okay..."

She caught how tentative he was acting, and tried to keep her voice calm and level. "So, tell Shampoo this, why agree marry Violent-Girl?"

Despite her best efforts, he still reacted defensively. "I didn't! Neither a' us did, it was all our stupid Pops' ideas!"

She tried to calm him with her eyes and steady voice. "Shampoo know, but why go along?"

Ranma shrugged, not really knowing himself. "I dun'know, 'honor', I guess."

"No honor in ruin many life because two stupid mens make promise, Ranma no make stupid promise."

Ranma looked confused, and a tab bit dismissive. "How's that any different than marryin' 'cause a' yer laws?"

"Law is law, but Shampoo choose when enact it."

"Wait, so ya ain't gotta do that every time?"

"Of course no, there other ways work, if bad mens, or in war times. Only enforce in modern time when warrior choose, usually have official marriage challenge. Why think so many so shocked when give girl-type Ranma kiss?"

"How would I know? I was too shocked at it bein' my first kiss, an' with such a pretty girl ...only ta find out it meant ya wanted ta kill me!" Ranma turned his head, embarrassed at the confession.

She wanted to jump for joy at him calling pretty, but she could read his mood well enough to know that was not what he needed, nor would it help either of them, but she would never forget it. "Shampoo say sorry... Too too happy give many many make-up kiss! If want, Shampoo even protect from any want hurt for get kisses..." There was a slight hopeful tone in her sad voice.

He did not like that blow to his ego. "I don't need no protection!"

"No think do, but no see defend self either, and no is right make Ranma hurt for do what is fun... Make Shampoo mad, but no want fight Ranma battle, if no ask..."

"Ya ain't gotta, I can fight my own-..."

"'Can' fight, yes, but no seem want fight, no when time stand for right be happy."

"..." She could see the guilt deep within his eyes, and wanted to help him relieve it.

"Is that what is problem? Think no have right be happy?" His continued lack of response was all the answer she needed. 'Shampoo make Stupid Panda pay one day...' "Ranma is allow be happy, is okay feel good, hitting no is only way people ...interact. Know this, yes?"

"Yeah, I know that, we're talkin' ain't we?"

"Is so?" She started leaving a trail of kisses up his chest while while never breaking eye contact. "If know, then why so shaky? Why no relax, enjoy Shampoo do things?"

"But-..."

She touched her index finger to his lips and took his hand in her other one, leading him back into the main room. "Lay here. No one else in room, we is alone, door locked, can no will hurt." She directed him to lay, face down on the bed.

"Can't no body-..."

"Shhhh... Just put self in Shampoo hand. Ranma is too too tense, need relax." She began massaging his shoulders, and slowly working her way out from there, while resisting the urge to nibble on his ears and neck. "Is too too full stress!"

"Yeah, I wonder why..."

"Is because no know how relax! Is too too uptight. No is good be no happy so long. Try forget everything, just think about feeling Shampoo finger on body!" She had felt him starting to calm down, until she mentioned her fingers, and he stiffened again. "No one know here, no can make stop enjoy self. Forget Shampoo even here. Just try feel nice nice. Close eye, is floating, no one around, just magic fingers what make feel tooo, toooo good."

Feeling her soft breath brushing his ear as she whispered to him sent shivers down his spine, even where he felt her sitting on him. He had no idea how he was supposed to react, every instinct he had told him to run, but he was not exactly sure why that was the case. On some level, it reminded him of his feline phobia, which he knew was completely irrational, but he could not exactly help the way he reacted to them anyway, though he had gotten a bit better at least when he thought of one particular pink pussy-cat, as long as he tried not to think of her as one. Much like with them, the panic continued to build in him until something in him burst, and all of his tension flowed out of him, almost causing him to almost fall unconscious. "Whoa..."

"Is Airen feel better?"

"Kind a', what'd ya do?"

"Is special relax pressure point, no like use, make no move for time, but Ranma need rest. Now Shampoo can really work over body, and no resist!"

Ranma tried to move, and found his limbs unresponsive. It was not the same as the various paralysis effects he had been under, but rather, his muscles felt like gelatin and he was barely even able to turn his head. He wanted to panic, worried about what she might do in this situation, but he found himself too relaxed to even care. Her ministrations had been somewhat painful at first after that point, but did not take long before he was feeling quite tranquil.

Shampoo took her time, allowing her hands to work over every centimeter of his body, and enjoying every second of it. Her nimble fingers doing their best to relieve any knots that still remained. She licked her lips as she rolled him over onto his back, planting kisses occasionally as she grew more bold, wanting to devour his well sculpted body.

Ranma was no longer able to feel anything at this point, and his senses were slowly shutting down, one by one. He could barely even hear Shampoo purring, though that might have been for the best.

She had not noticed that he had stopped moving, though perhaps had she not been as distracted herself, she might have realized it when she got no response as she removed his boxers. In fact, he did not react at all, no matter what she did, or how she caressed and fondled him. It was not until she heard him snore, that she realized what must have happened with a huff of disappointment. "Shampoo make mistake, Husband too too relax."

Seeing how early it still was, she decided that they deserved a bit more rest, and wrapped his arms around her as she laid down next to him. "Why Airen make so hard on Shampoo? Only want make happy..." She let out a long sigh, trying to just enjoy the moment ...and the warmth from his body. "Is too too much better when no fight Shampoo and make nice nice. Wish could see."

They 'cuddled' together in the bed as Shampoo lamented her failure to keep his attention, but basked in her small successes. At least he did not protest as much, though she could not be certain if that was simply due to his mother's insistence that he not upset her and the others, not that she wanted to look a 'gift horse' in the mouth. ...Even if that 'gift' had been given to several others as well.

Her self-reflection was interrupted by the sound of Ranma's stomach growling, reminding her that they normally had eaten by then. Not wanting to risk losing the opportunity, she made a hasty decision. She stared longingly into his face for a few extended moments before pressing their lips together and enjoying the feeling as she reached around, her fingers searching for the release point. She tapped the point with a small amount of hesitation, knowing that he would immediately want away from her as soon as he came back to his senses. She slowly backed away as his eyes fluttered open, worried that he would be upset at her, for using such a technique on him.

She watched closely as he started to look around, realizing that he was able to move again. She could tell that he was thinking something over, and was not certain how he was feeling about it. "...Ai ...Airen? Is okay?"

Rotating his head around, he started cracking his joints and stretching, before rolling out of bed. He did a few squats, tested his arms, and twisted himself at the waist before doing a small back-flip, followed by throwing a few hundred punches in the blink of an eye. "Hummm... That ain't too bad..."

"Ranma...?"

"Hey, thanks Shampoo, I can't remember th' last time I felt this good!"

The smile she received almost made her heart burst, and she fell to her knees as her fear left her. "Shampoo happy do, any time want..."

"Yeah? Thanks, I might take ya up on that one day..."

She wasn't certain if her heart could take much more joy, but she was willing to try! "Shampoo is too too happy for chance!" She hopped up, ran over, and latched onto Ranma's arm. "What Ranma want next, breakfast, bath, or ...Shampoo?"

"Oooo, breakfast sounds awesome! Thanks again, this's been great!"

Shampoo did her best not to allow her disappointment to show, it was not as if she had truly expected a different answer, though the casualness of his quick response stung her pride. 'Maybe should ask question in other order, no give most time for thinking of food...?'

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Shampoo is glad Ranma remember get key for building..."

Chuckling, he continued to ignore that fact that people were staring at the bombshell clinging to his arm. "Yeah, ya can't go bustin' through th' walls ta get ta yer job, er they'll make ya pay fer th' damages."

"And is here for to do cleaning, no want make more messy!"

"Exactly!" Working together, they had cleaned Misato's apartment in no time flat, though it had taken considerably longer to get Misato herself off to work in the morning. They had even prepared some breakfast for her while she had gotten dressed, so that she would not be late. While it may not have been the most glamorous work, they had managed to enjoy themselves in spite of the tasks at hand. "No sense in making more work for ourselves." They laughed together as they continued to walk toward home. "But, can ya believe we got so much for that little bit a' work?"

Shampoo started to explain how it was due to how much faster they could move compared to 'normal' people who would take hours to do what they could accomplish in minutes, but she chose to highlight a different aspect. "Make too too good team, yes?"

Ranma smiled as he thought about it. "Yeah, I guess we kind a' do, don't we...?"

"Is good when work together." She had not done near as much as he had, due to her state of dress, but had done what she could to assist, supporting him in whatever way she had been able.

"Oh yeah, before I forget, here." Ranma held out half of the money he had received for their morning's work.

"No, is okay. Shampoo is happy just be by Ranma side!" She did not want to take half of his money, when she did so little work.

"Naw, that ain't right, it's like ya said, we were a team, right?"

She had a hard time resisting his pleasant smile, tried to hold to her point. "...Is true, but want Ranma enjoy reward from good time date!"

"That ain't fair, I wouldn't have it if not fer yer help."

"Then remember Shampoo with happy thoughts when spend money!"

"But I wouldn't feel right keepin' it all..."

"Then maybe give some to Kasumi-nee-chan...?"

Ranma stopped walking as the full weight of her suggestion hit him in the chest. "Oh man, yer right! It ain't right fer Kasumi-san ta keep payin' fer everythin'."

"Is true, no want Grandmother keep pay Shampoo way either. Need go back village one day."

"Really? When are ya goin'?"

Shampoo was uncertain how to take the hint of concern in his voice, but chose to believe he did not want to see her leave. "No worry, Shampoo stay with Ranma, mean Great-Grandmother need go back when Shampoo one on own."

"What'd ya mean, ya really ain't tryin' ta take me back ta yer village? I mean, I know ya said that before, but..."

"Would make Shampoo happy see friends and family, but decide if need pick, rather be with Ranma then live in village. So, if Ranma no want go China, if want live in Japan, then Shampoo want live here too! If Ranma want just wander, no matter where go, Shampoo want go too. Only want Ranma be happy."

"But, why? Why would ya choose ta give up yer whole life fer this?" No matter how many times she had told him, he found it hard to believe that anyone that had a home and a family that cared about them, would give it up to be with him of all people!

"No is give up life! Life no with Ranma, no life worth living!" She implored him to believe her with her eyes, and holding onto his hand.

"That ain't right! Why would ya give up a stable life for me?

"When young, village only thing Shampoo know. Love friends, love family, love village, but now know is more that is good too. This also have Ranma thank for show how many thing in world Shampoo also love."

"I'm glad I could help ya, fer what it's worth, but that ain't no reason ya should wanna spend yer life with me."

"No is reason! Is reason Shampoo thank Ranma, no is reason want spend life with Airen. Shampoo know Ranma man want spend life with, that only one small reason, is many more. Shampoo love Ranma, no for law, no for obligation, but because Ranma is Ranma. More time spend, more Shampoo is sure, no other man ever be one Shampoo love! Shampoo give up all else if mean be with Ranma!"

"But, I don't want ya to-..."

Shampoo could feel the cracks in her heart spreading, it was a feeling she had come to know all too well over the last year of her life, she could tell, it was on the verge of shattering once again... "But-..."

"Ya shouldn't have ta give up everything ya love fer nobody else, that ain't fair!"

"Wha- Wha- What?" Was he not rejecting her after they had such a nice date? Was he actually thinking about HER feelings? "What Ranma mean?"

"Even if we get married, I wouldn't want ya ta have ta do that. I mean, ya know, we could always go visit and stuff, er they could come here, er whatever."

"No is telling Shampoo go away?"

"No! I told ya, I said I'd give ya both a fair shot, I'm-... I-... I just ain't never had nuthin' like that, no family er nuthin'. I couldn't care about nobody, every time I ever got close ta someone, Pops'd make us leave. How could I ask someone whose got all that, give it up?"

"No give up, just change. Even if never see again, village and family always in Shampoo heart, but if need choose, Shampoo choose Ranma over village, and be too too happy!" Despite the tears that were welling up in the back of her eyes, she tried to let her smile tell him how much she meant what she said.

"But-..."

"Have NEW family, be part of family Airen build, so Shampoo no be alone. Have Ranma, have Kasumi-onee-chan, even have Ranma mother, so is okay. Visit is good, but if Ranma no want go, Shampoo stay with Husband. Please, Shampoo do anything Ranma want!"

"I don't want ya ta do nuthin' that's gonna hurt ya!"

"Shampoo already know thing what hurt most! Nothing hurt more than lose Ranma! Rather lose life than do again! What Shampoo do-...?"

Seeing her plead with him hurt far more than being struck, and he wanted to console her, but was not sure how. "It ain't about what ya do, ya ain't done nuthin'..."

"What Shampoo do make understand, thing that hurt most, is thought of Ranma no like Shampoo. Law matter to old womans, Ranma matter to Shampoo. Is like say when fight Great-Grandmother, if need choose, then Shampoo pick Ranma over Great-Grandmother side always!"

"But, what was that yesterday, about takin' me back, an' teaching me all kinds a' stuff?"

"Is be what Ranma want be. If want live in village, we live in village, learn many new thing. If no want live in village, we live here, maybe take training trip, maybe ask family visit us? Whatever Ranma want, is what Shampoo want!"

"Aw, now, come on, you gotta have 'wants' of yer own!"

"YES! Shampoo WANT be with Ranma!"

"That can't be all!"

"No, no is all, but Shampoo already fill most other dream, now for rest of dream, need Ranma. Already be best warrior in generation, now want make strongest babies with man what Shampoo love! Go on, live too too happy life with lovey family!"

"Is that it, don't ya want nuthin' else in life?"

"Be strong, raise strong family, what else is? What Ranma want do?" Ranma was thrown off his game a bit as the question was thrown back at him, he clearly was not expecting to have to answer for himself.

"I-... Well, of course, I want ta be th' best!"

"See? Is same as Shampoo." She felt confident, and and Ranma flinched from her expression.

"Wait, but-..."

"All warrior in village want be strong, like elder. Need train whole life get that level, sound like something Ranma like do, yes?"

"Ah-... well, I mean..." Ranma was at a loss for words, a feeling not wholly unfamiliar to him, he was finding it difficult to argue the point, that basically WAS what he wanted after all.

"See, Ranma do well in village, but if no want go, Shampoo no want make go."

"I-... Well, I mean-... I guess, um... Thanks, I guess..."

"Is welcome, was Great-Grandmother what so insist Ranma go village, but Shampoo is happy go where Ranma want be. See new place nice, world so much bigger than thought." Something changed in his eyes, she could see it, he seemed less 'down' than he had been for most of their conversation, and the usual twinkle was starting to return to his eye.

"Yeah... It's a big world, I traveled my whole life, and I ain't even seen that much a' it, really. Only been ta a few countries."

"Aiyaaa... Maybe take trip with Shampoo one day?" Her timid voice, hesitantly asked, with little hope of success.

"Yeah, maybe... Probably go on another trip one day, still want a' look fer a cure, an' all, ya know?"

"Aiyaaaaa...! Is true, really go with Shampoo?" She started bouncing in joy, pinching herself to see if she was dreaming.

"Yeah, why not? Might be fun, right? Just travelin' about, training under whoever'll let us..."

Ranma managed to act quickly, and prevent her from falling as she stumbled, almost fainting at the thought.

"Shampoo! Are ya all right?"

"So ...happy!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Tadaima!" The pair shouted happily as they entered the house.

It was nearing noon, so there were only two other people home to respond, "Okaeri nasai!"

"So, so, how did it go?" Nodoka was a bit disappointed by the fact that Shampoo's kimono was not disheveled, knowing the foreign girl did now know how to tie it properly herself, she had stated as much when they were helping her with it. She had really gotten her hopes up when they did not return the night before, however, then she noticed that certain details were not folded or tied in the same way that she had done them. ...Perhaps things went better than she thought. Shampoo's joy was written plainly across her face, so she turned to her son, who did not look unhappy either.

"Sorry we were so late gettin' home..."

"That is perfectly fine, just tell us what happened!"

"Well, ya see, I sort a', well, I guess I got a job..."

"You left out a word, but that is fine, what a wonderful start!"

Missing Nodoka's misunderstanding completely, Kasumi had to inquire further. "Ranma-kun! You got a job? Doing what? How did this happen?"

Ranma looked embarrassed, by it, but he slowly pushed out an answer. "Well, it's kind a' hard ta explain, but we met this messy lady, who had trouble gettin' people ta clean up the apartment, an' well, so now I do it every mornin', oh and Shampoo's gonna help too."

"Is that not wonderful? Congratulation Ranma-kun! I am proud of you!" Kasumi lit up the room with her beaming smile.

"An' well, we talked about it, an' we wanted ta give most a' it ta ya, Kasumi-san."

She just looked down at the envelope in his hands. "Me? Whatever for?"

"Ya know, so I ain't no freeloader. I don't wanna be like Pops, so let me pay some rent, an' stuff."

Nodoka was not willing to give up on her fantasy of how the night had gone, but impressed by the manliness of his intentions. She decided to continue to watch, and see where it went.

"Oh my! You do not need to do that! This is YOUR house!"

"Please, Kasumi-san, it'd mean a lot ta me. At least let me help pay fer food an' stuff."

Kasumi could see the earnestness in his expression, and did not want to discourage him from maturing as an adult. "Okay, Ranma-kun, allow me to think about this, we can discuss how much you are making, and then we can decide how much of it is fair for you to pay, you cannot spend everything you make like this."

"Okay, yeah, but this was just part a' what we made fer two days work, we gotta go back every day, an' well, it ain't like it really took that long..."

"No is true, Shampoo only help part on second time, still no used to move in Japanese outfit. Ranma earn most by self!"

Kasumi perked up, with an eager expression. "I know, I can make you each a uniform! What do you call your business?"

"Is 'Ninja Clean', yes?"

"Ninja, hummm?" Kasumi thought about that, getting an idea.

"How 'bout, 'Anythin' Goes Cleanin'?" Ranma just felt better if it was closer to his school's name.

"'Anything Goes Housekeeping' it is! So, something with that theme then..." Their conversation had been interrupted by the sound of someone at the door. "Oh my, I will get it!" Everyone's eyes followed as she ran off to see who was visiting them.

Shampoo shrunk under the glare she was suddenly receiving from Nodoka, and Ranma fidgeted as the mood grew more strained, uncertain as to what was happening between them. The discomfort continued to intensify as time passed, and so he could not have been happier to see Kasumi return. "Hey, Kasumi-nee, who was it? Oh, hey Konatsu, what brings ya here?."

"Ukyo-sama, asked me to check to see if you had made it home as of yet, Ranma-sama." Konatsu bowed deeply in greeting.

"Yes, tell Pancake-Girl get home just in time for lunch!" Shampoo stuck out her tongue as Kasumi continued to eye the young kunoichi's outfit.

"Then I have good timing. Thank you all very much." Konatsu bowed again, and turned to leave.

"Wait." Kasumi had gotten an idea. "So, tell me about your clothing, could you tell me about them over tea, would you perhaps be able to stay for lunch?"

"Lunch? For me?" Konatsu's eye sparkled at the prospect of free food.

"Certainly, we made plenty, and I could even fix those patched places for you..."

"Really? You would do that for me?"

"Of course!"

"Don't take it personally, Kasumi-san's nice ta everyone." Ranma was hoping to prevent his 'older sister' from getting a stalker.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Here you go, why not try them on?"

Everyone waved at Konatsu, who was wearing a brand new uniform and leaving to meet with Ukyo at school. "Thank you all, very much!"

Shampoo started to follow Ranma, but was held back. "But Shampoo want help..."

"Not now, you should try on your own, then you can show Ranma-kun how cute it looks on you!"

"Aiyaa, is too too good idea! Big-sister-Kasumi help Shampoo, yes?"

Kasumi looked sad for a moment, yet there was a slight twinkle in the back of her eyes. "Sorry Shampoo-chan, but I have my own to try... I hope you do not mind, I made one for myself as well ...just in case you needed help one day, or something! Yes, that is the ticket..."

"Want help with work?"

"If you 'need' me..." Kasumi looked hopeful, almost pleading.

"Shampoo think be fun work together, but is no really much work..." As her voice trailed off, their conversation was interrupted by the phone ringing.

"Yes, hello? ...No, Ranma-kun is unavailable at the moment, may I take a message? ...Yes, certainly, one moment please. ...Shampoo-chan, they would like to speak to you."

"Is Shampoo... Aiyaa...! Is true? Will talk Ranma, call back, is okay? Okay, talk soon."

"What was that about?"

"Is Messy-Woman, have friend who want apartment clean too. Tell friend is too too good clean and price, ask if want more job..."

"Well then, let us get changed, and we can talk to Ranma-kun when we are done."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ranma examined himself in his new uniform. In some ways it was not too dissimilar to his favorite outfit, the black pants were loose fitting, the sleeveless red shirt had a deep-cut neckline that revealed the mesh undershirt, there were several red sashes, black tabi socks, sandals, and matching black and red bracers that also covered the backs of his hands. Leave it to Kasumi to make him something that would look good, and fit him well enough in either form. He looked rather heroic if he did say so himself, even if it was a bit more 'ninja-like' than he would have picked.

Going through a short kata he tested his range of movement before flexing into the mirror with a smile. "That ain't bad, ain't bad at all..." Turning around, he looked himself over one more time, and adjusted how the sashes were tied. They had told him not to hurry, so that they could take their time getting ready, but he was tired of waiting in his room, and decided to see if he could find something else to do in the meantime.

Before he had gotten more than a few steps down the hall, he found his mother blocking his path. "Oh, how manly you look! That Kasumi-chan certainly does good work, just like a good mother should!"

"Yeah, I guess yer right, makes sense if ya think about it..."

Nodoka had to admit that in some ways, the young woman had more 'mothering' experience than she did herself. She had Ranma taken from her when he was but six years old, and Kasumi had been caring for both of her sisters for close to eight years, if she had understood things, it was not as if she wanted to pry on such a sensitive subject! It was certainly not the same as having your own child, yet one could not fault her skills. "I suppose that it is! Now, how are YOU doing so far?"

"'Kay, I guess..."

"That was not a very enthusiastic answer. What is the matter, most boys would be thrilled to be in your position."

"Most guys're perverts!"

"So are most girls, it is human nature, one that many of us try to deny, but it is, none-the-less, a part of us all. It is how we survive."

"What ya mean?"

"We have been over this in your classes, while there are exceptions, if done well, every one of us enjoys 'perverted things'. It is not good too allow them to rule your life, but there is nothing wrong with taking pleasure in the act."

"WHAT? Even you?" Ranma could not get his head around such an idea, it made him feel uncomfortable inside at the mere mention of the topic.

"As I said, 'if done well'..."

"Urk...!" That was ONE thing he did 'not' want to imagine!

"That is fine, you do not need to think about that, if you do not wish... However, you need to understand that it is not a bad thing to do, as long as you are careful, and you are with willing partners."

"I don't know..."

"Every living thing has a biological need to reproduce..."

"But, ain't I too young ta worry 'bout that?"

"As I was saying, many animals, such as us humans, were given the an additional gift from the gods, and that is that the act of mating can also feel really good in its own right. If the gods did not want us to enjoy it, they would have made every man like your father."

"I don't-..."

"Do not worry, as long as you follow the lessons we have gone over, and the ones we have yet to have, you will not have to worry about any such problems."

"I guess that's good, but I just don't get it..."

Nodoka let out an exasperated sigh, and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Just trust me, mother knows breast."

"Yeah, whatever..." Something about that did not sound correct to him, but he did not want to argue.

"Now, now... How about you tell me how you felt about your date last night? Did you have fun? You were out awfully late, and you seemed to be getting along well. How do you feel that it went?"

"Eh, okay... I mean, it was fun, th' old ghoul taught me a neat trick, got a job, an' I guess if I ain't goin' ta school, an' I ain't teachin' in a dojo, then I gotta do sumethin', ya know?"

"And...?"

"An' 'what'?"

"And how do you feel about the girl?"

"All right, I guess, ya know...?"

"No, I am afraid I do NOT know, you will have to explain it for me..."

"I don't know, Shampoo's nice, an' pretty, and I guess we got a lot in common, but I just don't know, ya know? This is a big deal, an' it ain't like I got a lot a' experience an' stuff."

"That is why we are doing all of this, to give you more 'experiences', and help you decide who you want to choose."

"Why do I gotta 'choose' anyone? I don't want ta hurt nobody..."

Nodoka grimaced for a moment, afraid she might never get her grandchildren. "No, son, you do not 'have' to choose anyone, however it is not proper to keep stringing these girls along, that also hurts everyone involved. Whether you choose none of them, or all of them, it is not very manly to be so indecisive. I think that we need to have another talk once these dates are over."

Ranma hung his head, any time someone said they needed to have a talk with him, it was almost always an 'unpleasant' conversation. He was starting to wonder of he could make some sort of excuse and go back to his room to wait when he sensed someone approaching. "Kasumi-chan!"

Nodoka's eyebrows perked at his tonal change, and use of honorific.

"Yes? Excuse me, Ranma-kun, are you in here? I heard voices... I am not interrupting anything, am I?"

Grateful for the distraction, Ranma responded quickly. "NO! No, we're done talkin' now. It ain't no problem."

"Oh good, I did not wish to be a bother..."

"As if ya could bother anyone!" Ranma chuckled. "Are ya gonna come in?"

"Oh my..." Ranma could hear a bit of fidgeting in the hallway before Kasumi finally entered the room. She stood there in the doorway, unable to look up from the floor, and shuffling her blue tabi covered feet. It was unusual to see her long legs, and the thin, white thigh-high stockings did little to hide their shapeliness. Her two-toned blue, poofy shorts were slightly hidden behind her short-sleeve gi-like top, which extended into an apron-like covering in the front and back. Her outfit was accented with matching blue bracers, a white sash and collar, various ribbons, and a cute little maid hat behind her bangs. "My-... My-... My out-..."

"Wh- wh- why-...?" Ranma had no idea that she had made one for herself as well!

"What do you think? Is it too much, do I look silly?" Kasumi's blush intensified as Ranma's eyes took in every millimeter of her, including her plunging neckline, covered by thin lace.

"Nuh-uh! Ya look, really ...pretty, I just, ...I mean, I thought ...Shampoo?"

"No, actually, I made one for each of us ...I just wanted to be able to help, if you needed me. Like if one of you got sick, or needed a day off for some reason..."

"Well, uh, thanks, that's awful nice a' ya..."

Kasumi had yet to meet anyone's gaze, still preferring to examine the patterns in the carpet, looking for any places she might have missed the last time she scoured the room. "So, um, you really think that this looks okay on me, it is not too ...revealing?"

"Oh, yeah, ya look great, ya really do! Wearin' that, yer gonna need a weapon ta beat th' guys off ya."

She could not imagine herself in Akane's shoes every morning, even as the image tried to manifest itself in her head. "Do not even joke about such things, no guy would ever want a frumpy girl like me."

"That ain't true, any guy'd have ta be crazy ta turn ya down. ...Especially if yer dressed like 'that'!"

"Is true, Kasumi-onee-chan always look too too good, even when block door."

"Oh, oh my, Shampoo-chan, I am so sorry." Kasumi quickly stepped into the room, revealing Shampoo, who was standing behind her.

Shampoo's uniform was very similar to Kasumi's, though most notably, it was purple and pink instead of blue and white, and she was not wearing any shorts under the long shirt-tails. Her waist sash, also had a large bow in the back, and her hair was pulled back into an even larger ponytail, ending in a giant bead. The low-cut top showed more skin than even Kasumi's and sans the briches, when she moved quickly, her bottom could be briefly seen by Ranma. "What Airen think, is Shampoo too too beautiful too?"

"Yeeaahh..." Ranma took a moment to blink, unable to tear his eyes away. "I mean, sure, yeah, uh, ya look good too, yeah."

"Nin! Nin!" Shampoo posed with a wink, and blew him a kiss. "Use too too sexy jutsu, make Airen fall for Shampoo, yes?"

"Uh..." Ranma had not blinked for a moment, stunned by the shinobi before him.

"Come, Shampoo show other sexy womans' ninja trick!"

The cat-like look in her eye make him feel like prey, and his instincts kicked into gear. "Oh, hey, would ya look'at th' time... Konatsu said I gotta meet up with Ucchan, ya know, right after school... So, ya know, I guess, I should, like, get goin', right? Yeah, I'll, um, see ya later, an' we can talk about this whole cleanin' thing... Later, yeah , later!" Before anyone could blink, Ranma vanished, his aura unable to be felt by any of them.

"Husband always run at best part!" Shampoo pouted, just as they had started to make progress.

"Oh my..."

Nodoka stamped her foot, not at all happy with his reaction. "This needs to end soon, I am getting tired of this."

"Mother is tired? How think Shampoo feel?"

"Once you four have had your dates, we need to have a family meeting."

"Oh my! I just, I think ...I do not think that it is up to us to decide."

"Of course it is, that is what parents are for, to decide what is best for their children!"

Kasumi shook her head, for once, openly disagreeing with her elder. "No, at least not forever. At some point a good parent needs to let go, and allow their children to make their own decisions, even if they believe they are making a mistake."

"While you are correct, it is far too soon for that."

"If this is about getting married, then such a decision is not one that should be rushed."

"Oh dear, you misunderstand me, I am not trying to pressure anyone into getting married ...yet, I am just sick and tired of this unmanly behavior around you girls. A real man would not ignore such lovely young women's advances, it is just to difficult for a mother to ignore this hole in my husband's incomplete training!"

"Aw, I think it is cute." Kasumi blushed at the memories of how he would react to her teasing.

"Is too too frustrating."

"Yes, it is a man's shame to not eat the meal placed before them."

"Not eating your food is bad, but we should not push, I am certain that Ranma will be ready in good time."

"Time is good now, time was good last week, for Shampoo, time is good all time!"

"Then you should not mind waiting until Ranma is ready."

"Well, if husband run, then Shampoo get decide. If want help, Kasumi-nee-chan clean second apartment, is only three day week, and no pay as well, but no is so messy. Is okay?"

"If that is how you would like to divide up the work, then I am happy you would allow me to assist you."

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What does Ukyo have planned for her date? Find out next time when we see, ''Everybody's Workin' for the Weekend', or 'Ninja Do It in the Dark'.


	42. Chapter 42

Warning: Spelling and grammar errors in this story are a product of a poor school system. Pay teachers more than athletes.

This chapter contains spoilers for the first movie from the Kimagure Orange Road series, I Want to Return to That Day. If that bothers you, I mention when it comes up, just skip to the paragraph before the next line break.

Chapter 42 - Life, the Universe, Everything, and the Fish.

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"RANCHAN! Ya made it!" Ukyo looked up as Ranma rushed through the doors of her place, almost looking winded.

"Yeah, a' course, I said I would, didn't I?" Straightening himself up, Ranma calmed himself as he beamed at his friend.

Ukyo grinned like a fool, unable to believe that he was so excited about their date. "Yer early! What's up with that outfit?"

"Heh. Sorry, it's my uniform. I, uh, got a job last night, so, ya know...?" He turned his head away and looked a bit sheepish, still embarrassed by the nature of his newfound employment.

"That's okay, ya look good in it, Ranchan. ...Wait! Ya got ...a JOB?" Ukyo slammed her hands down on the counter in her shock, only belatedly realizing that it had been part of the still warm grill. She quickly puled back, blowing on her slightly toasty digits.

"Heh, yeah, Shampoo an' I started cleanin' this lady's apartment. It's kind a' pain, but it don't take too long, an' it pays pretty well I guess."

Ukyo did not care for any part of that news, the only element that did not worry her, was that if Shampoo was there, at least she would not have to worry about this other woman sinking her claws into him! "Ah'd a' give ya a job, if Ah'd knew ya wanted one..."

"I didn't really, it just kind a' happened, but I guess it ain't a bad thing really..."

"Ya ain't gotta worry 'bout it, ya kin always stay with meh, Ah'll always take care a' ya." She looked at him hopefully, wishing that he would take her up on her offer.

Unfortunately for her, his smile quickly faded instead. "I don't want ta be like Pops, Okay? I ain't gonna be a mooch."

"It ain't like that, ya could help meh around th' store, Ah could e'en pay ya if ya want..."

Ranma just raised an eyebrow at that, looking as though someone had just asked him to buy a bridge.

"No, not like Konatsu-chan, a real wage!"

"I don't even really know how ta make okonomiyaki, an' ya already got a waitress... Hey, ya ain't plannin' ta get rid a' Konatsu, 're ya?"

Ukyo looked shocked at the very idea. "What? No! Ain't no reason fer that, not at that salary!"

Ranma got a sad look on his face. "Ya know, I still don't think that's right..."

Ukyo looked a bit guilty for a moment, before looking away. "Ah know... Ah-... It's jus' ...ya know, hard ta resist."

"Ucchan...?"

"Ah'll change it, Ah promise, but Ah don't want ya ta be jus' an employee, Ah'm lookin' fer a 'partner', ya know?" Her eyebrows rose, looking optimistic.

"What'd I know 'bout th' restaurant business?"

"It don't matter. What ya don't know, Ah kin teach ya, it shouldn't be that hard fer ya ta learn. Lemmeh ask ya this, 'ya gittin' hungry'?"

"Pretty much, ya know I can always eat." His grin returned at the prospect of food.

"Then, how 'bout Ah show ya how it's done, an' ya kin practice 'til yer full? Sound like fun?"

That was certainly not what Ranma expected from a date, but he was not about to refuse an 'all-you-can-eat' buffet, even if he did have to work for it. "Yeah, okay, sounds good. What'd ya need me ta do?"

"Jus' sit o'er here, an Ah'll git th' ingredients." Ukyo turned her grill back up to a proper cooking temperature before running into the back to gather her foodstuffs. After setting up her table, she called Ranma to her side. "Ya seen meh do this enough times, ya know th' basics, right?"

"Yeah, I think so, but I ain't as good as ya, so walk me through th' steps, I don't want ta waste nuthin'."

Ukyo's mood got a huge boost, being completely in her element. "Sure, Ranchan, no problem! This sure takes meh back, it's like when we were kids, but this time, it's meh watchin' ya cook."

Ranma nodded, thinking back on all of the times he remembered watching her work. "So, ya pour th' batter-...?"

"...In th' bowl, in th' bowl. This ain't Hiroshima, proper okonomiyaki is mixed tagethah first, then poured onta th' griddle. Th' measurin' cups already got marks fer ya ta go by, so ya shouldn't have no problems gittin' th' amounts right." Ukyo stayed just behind Ranma and to his left, carefully watching over his shoulder as he mixed some of the ingredients, occasionally guiding his hand with her own.

For a brief moment, Ranma felt another presence as an old American song began to play in the background, Unchained Melodies, by the Righteous Brothers. [Oooooh, my love ...my darling, I've hungered for ...your touch, a long, lonely time.]

Ukyo found herself unable to resist, and lightly poked Ranma's side, startling him just enough that he spilled the batter into an 'less-than-round' shape. They both giggled at the small accident, his first attempt may not have been pretty, but he had managed well enough with her continued assistance.

[Time, goes by, so slowly, and time, can do so much. Are you, still mine?] Ranma felt a bit strange with the music and Ukyo reaching around from behind him, guiding his hands, but it was not the worst thing he had done lately, and he HAD asked for her help, besides, he had promised that he would allow his dates to set the activities. He thought Shampoo's ideas had been strange at first, and yet it had turned out pretty fun, so he decided to not say anything.

His second one came out much more neatly, and they both shared it. [I need your love... I need your love...]

As Ranma continued to practice, Ukyo got lost in one of her fantasies as she pictured them both shirtless, and they started to dance around the room, as she leaned in for a kiss, she met with a bite of his newest okonomiyaki. "Sure, ya can have th' first bite, Ucchan! What ya think, any better?"

"Oooop!" Snapping back to reality with the food going into her mouth, she almost thought she saw Konatsu in front of her for a brief moment, until the change in colors registered. She mentally cursed whoever made him wear that uniform for their date! "Verah nice! See, Ah told ya, ya could do it if ya tried! Want meh ta help ya make-..."

"Nah, I think I got it... Gonna try th' shrimp one next!" Ranma grinned as he focused on the task at hand, his battle aura flaring to life.

Her personal disk jockey might have moved on to the next song, however the record player in her head had just scratched in frustration.

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Ukyo was starting to think that Ranma's stomach really was bottomless, and by the one-hundred and eighth one, she could see a slight glow of ki emanating off of each one he made, without her even explaining the process! "Wow Ranchan, ya really crankin' 'em out! Yer practically a professional already, just gotta show ya the hard parts, like makin' th' sauce."

Her wink went largely unnoticed, as he remembered the last time he tried to make okonomiyaki sauce, and panicked in his guilt. "No, I don't know nuthin' about th' sauce!"

"That's fine, Ranchan, ya ain't gotta worry, Ah can show ya, all in good time. As quick as ya picked that up, Ah'm sure ya'll get it in no time!" Closing the gap between them, Ukyo slid up to his back, looped her arms under his and around his chest as she began letting her fingers wander. "So, ya think ya done with dinner, an' ready fer yer ...dessert?"

"Oh, what ta got in mind?" Ranma felt Ukyo's head bump his back, though she did not reply for a long moment.

She was not certain if she was glad, or bothered by the fact that he had ignored her embarrassing line's implications... Is was not as if she did not know how he was, but she had hoped that by now he would have taken the hint! Her attempt at seduction having failed, she moved on to her next plan... "Ah wanted ta talk ta ya."

Ranma sighed, he had been expecting that at some point, but it did not make it any easier, especially after the earlier talk with his mother. "...What about?"

Ukyo pulled away, embarrassed. "Ya know ...about us, an' stuff." She saw him, wither a bit right before her eyes, and could tell that he was not wanting to talk about their relationship, not that she had really expected it of him. "Like, ya remember when we were playin' in that field, an' those older boys were pickin' on that li'l girl?"

Ranma relaxed a bit and chuckled, allowing Ukyo to let out the breath she had been holding. "Which time?"

"Heh, yeah Ah guess yer right!" The pair chuckled together for a moment. "We used ta make such a good team. Well, how 'bout that time we snuck out late that night, an' down ta th' rivah ta swim?"

"An' we fell asleep by that tree..."

She was a bit jarred as he slapped her on the back in good cheer, but managed to laugh it off. "Then yer pops came an' found us, ya grabbed me by th' arm, an' we ran an' ran!"

"All th' way back ta that temple that hated th' stupid, old fart!" The two shared a laugh as they remembered the look on Genma's face as he saw the monks coming out to meet him. "First time I remember th' old man lookin' that scared!"

"Ah still cain't believe ya didn't know Ah was a girl after we swam like that!"

"I guess I didn't know er care enough ta look, it ain't like I knew th' difference anyway, all that mattered ta me, was that ya were my only friend, Ucchan."

"Aw, Ranchan..." The young chef swooned at the sentimental thought.

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"If need, Shampoo be in Ranma bed, where smell is strongest..." Nodoka and Kasumi both waved as the youngest of them hopped down the hallway.

"I just do not know about this. Young people should not be spending the night alone together on a date, it is just ...improper!" Kasumi covered her mouth as she wondered what the neighbors might think.

"The five of you sleep together almost every night..." Nodoka's deadpanned expression went largely unnoticed by the by the young homemaker, as she tried to rationalize her feelings of disapproval.

"That is not 'alone'."

"What about Hakone?"

"That was different, it was a ...'family' vacation, not a d- d- date..." Kasumi started twiddling her thumbs as she thought about what she had done on that trip, and how tempted she had been to do even more 'improper' things. If 'she' had been so tempted, whatever could be happening on his date with Ukyo?

"You should not worry, if you truly want your first time to be special, it is better if your partner has had previous experience. Trust me on this, my dear."

"WHAT?"

"Well, I can understand if you simply WANT to be the one who-..."

"I could never!"

"That's right dear, let those other girls be the ones to take the boy's first time. It will be much better for you after Ranma gets some experience, otherwise it might be too rough for your first time."

"But-...! That is, I mean... I was not meaning-... Oh my, oh my, oh my..."

Nodoka calmly patted the young woman on the shoulder. "Now, now. Calm yourself. The true measure of a man, is the amount of love given. Even if that man shares their love, as long as you receive more than what one could get from others, then that is what really matters. The question you will have to answer is, 'are you satisfied to your soul'?"

Something about that did not feel exactly 'correct' to the young woman, but she was not certain what to say about it, so she tried to change the direction of the conversation. "Sorry for asking, and feel free not to answer, but I simply must ask. Were you ever...?" Kasumi blushed at how forward her question was. If not for the training she had endured recently, she never would have been able to ask such a thing.

"Oh, goodness no! Not for an instant. That is what I am trying to teach you, my dear, if one's family does not live up to one's expectations, sometimes one needs to take matters into one's own hands."

"Oh my..." She went back to fretting about what the pair were doing on their date.

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"Ha! Ha! Ha! But what about th' time ya tripped, fell inta me, an' we tumbled down that hill? I don't know what was wrong with ya that day, so clumsy!" Ranma roared with laughter, but Ukyo suddenly got quiet.

"Ah gotta confession, Ranchan, Ah sorta did that on purpose... Ah wanted ta give ya a hug, but Ah was too scared, so ...I sorta fell on ya! It took meh a few tries ta gi it right, but it was so sweet th' way ya caught meh, an' kept meh from gettin' hurt..." Ukyo blushed as she admitted her deception.

"Well, a' course! I'd never want ta see ya get hurt!"

"Ah know," '...but ya do it anyway...' "Come on, Ranchan, it's gettin' late, an' we gotta hurry!" Ukyo jumped to her feet as she grabbed his hand, and helped him stand.

Taking her hand, he quickly got to his feet. "Huh? What're we doin'?"

"Well, Shampoo kept ya out all night on yer date, so Ah'm doin' th' same! So, we're off ta th' public baths, so we ain't gotta go back ta yer house. Ya got a problem with that?"

Ranma's instincts told him that avoiding his house that night would likely be a wise option, so he quickly agreed.

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Ranma was waiting patiently as Ukyo, in her dark blue yukata, exited the bathhouse. Somehow he was dressed in his typical outfit again, which confused her. "What's up with that, ya didn't run home did ya?"

"Nah... I just been workin' on that Deep Pockets trick ya all use..."

"Ah'm surprised ya ain't learned it sooner, comes in handy."

"I knew how it worked, but carryin' stuff is good fer strength trainin', so I never really used it more than I had ta."

"Ah guess..."

"Here, I got ya a milk." Ranma grinned as he handed over the small bottle.

"Milk?" She started to wonder if he was trying to tell her that he thought her breasts were too small, and she was not exactly sure how to feel about that, her outrage mixed with her thought that he was trying to help her ...in a profoundly messed up way.

"Yeah, Kasumi-san says it's th' best time fer an ice cold milk, right after a hot bath. Here, it's really good!"

Reluctantly she accepted the offering, and the bitterness of her jealousy about the idea coming from 'that woman' making it taste less than pleasant. "Thanks." She took solace in the fact that at least he was not trying to insult her chest.

"Hey, ya all right?" Ranma was concerned by her sudden shift in mood, and turned to glance at her.

Ukyo took her jealousy, crumpled it into a ball, and shoved it into the back of her mind with the rest of it, before turning to her 'date' with a smile. "Am am now." She wrapped her arm around his, and leaned against his shoulder. 'This is mah golden opportunity ta win Ranchan's heart, Ah gotta make th' most a' it!' "...So, what'cha thinkin'?"

"Oh, uh, not much, I was just practicin' a variation a' a new technique in there, an' I think I almost got part a' it worked out. Not as easy as I thought..."

Ukyo was a bit disappointed that he had not been thinking about them and their relationship, but she was not exactly surprised. She had always known that about him, as a child she had been impressed by his single-mindedness, and even now it would be most impressive ...if she could only get him to focus that attention onto her! On the other hand, she did not want to upset him and ruin what 'mood' they had managed to build up over their date, so once again, she pushed it to the back of her mind. "Really? What kind'a move is it?"

Looking around, Ranma smiled. "Well, I can show ya th' easy part..."

Ukyo looked up into his face as he led them off of the road, and under the bridge. She allowed him to go free as he neared the river with a smile that almost melted her. She did not wish to discourage him, but a thought occurred to her. "Wait, Ranchan, didn't ya just take a bath?"

With a twinkle in his eye, he just stepped out 'onto' the river ...without breaking the surface! "This part I pretty much got down, but there's some other ways I'm tryin' ta use it I ain't figured out yet..."

Ukyo simply stood there in shock, watching Ranma standing on top of the river, bobbing ever so slightly as the water moved beneath his feet. She had heard legend of such tricks in her family's history, but she had never believed them, let along SEEN them. "How...? Where...? Who taught ya how ta do that?" Though she was afraid she already knew the answer to that question.

"Uh, yeah, Shampoo's granny taught me when we went out yesterday." He had the decency to look abashed at the mention.

Ranma almost fell over from the intensity of her battle aura, and then it was gone just as quickly. "Now then, are ya ready ta go ...Ranchan? It is almost time for 'bed'."

As he took a few steps toward the shore, they heard a man yelling at them from off in the distance, as the fellow ran toward them as fast as he could, they saw a cross trailing from a chain behind his neck. "It, it's YOU! You're back!"

"Huh? I never left. Well, I mean I spent a lot a time wanderin', but it's been a while..."

"Oh, I know my lord! Thank you for returning! I always knew it would be soon!"

"What're ya talkin' 'bout? Why'd keep callin' me that?"

"You were performing a miracle, you are standing on the water!"

"This? Naw, lots a' people can do it, it's just a martial arts technique."

The crazed man turned on Ukyo, starting to make demands. "What about you, are you a martial artist, can YOU do it?"

"Yeah, but Ah ain't learned that one ...yet."

"You ever SEE anyone else doing it?"

"Well, noooo..."

"You SEE? You SEE! Who else could do that?"

"I told ya, lots a people! What's yer problem? Have we even met?"

"Not exactly, but I talk to you every day!"

"Oooookaaaay, that's not weird er nuthin'... Um, did Pops do somethin' to ya, er somethin'? Maybe hit ya on th' head too hard?"

The strange man's face lit up in satisfaction. "You can say that again!"

"Oh no... What, don't tell me, ya got a daughter, er somethin'?"

"Yes, I do my lord, thank you for noticing!"

"STOP THAT! An' I got news fer ya, I already got more iinazuke than I can handle, an' I don't need no more-..."

Ranma barely finished his thought before Ukyo's aura burst forth again, and she moved faster than the eye could blink, knocking the older fellow across the river, and a ways down stream. Then grabbing Ranma's hand, she started running toward her store. "Let's go, Ranchan, 'afore that freak comes back!"

"Huh, what'd ya do that for?" He thought he was handling it.

"Ah ain't lettin' ya pick up no more girlfriends! Especially not while we're on a date!" Ukyo gnashed her teeth in frustration as she ran.

Allowing himself to be pulled along, Ranma looked back to see the guy crawling out of the water on the other side of the river with no small amount of relief. He could not help but think that Kasumi would have handled it differently, though he had no idea why that thought crossed his mind. Neither of them spoke for the rest of the walk back to 'Ucchan's', both lost in their own thoughts.

As Ukyo pulled Ranma through the dining room, and was about to bring him upstairs, she had a realization, and a panicked expression crossed her face for a moment. "Uh, hey, Ranchan, ya mind waitin' here fer a moment?"

"Naw. What's up?"

"Nuthin'! Ah'll be raight back! Wait here!" She barely noticed the confused look Ranma gave her as she bolted up to her room, slamming the door behind her. She started cleaning by hiding all of her good luck charms, not wanting him to see how desperate that would make her seem, and finished by throwing everything else into her closet. Calming herself, she looked into the mirror, and straightened her hair before quickly making her bed. After a few deep breaths, she hurried back down the stairs to find that Ranma had barely moved. "There ya are, Ah been lookin' fer ya."

Ranma barely reacted to her joke, he simply stood there, looking embarrassed, and uncertain as to what to expect next. "S'up?"

Ukyo steadied herself again and attempted to make a seductive pose against the wall from the top of the stairs. "Ah hope ya are... What're ya waitin' fer? Your little Ucchan is right here."

With a shrug, Ranma ascended the stairs. There was still a bit of a distant look in his eyes, but Ukyo tried to ignore it, grabbing his hands in hers, and walking backwards toward her room. Ranma could easily see the signs of a rush cleaning job, but politely ignored it as he was directed toward the bed, resisting the urge to dust.

"Um..."

"Why ya hangin' back? It's our big night!"

"What, ya got more planned?"

Ukyo face turned bright scarlet as she turned away. "Ya could say that..."

"Then what're we doin' here?" Ranma barely flinched at the embarrassed slap to his face.

"Ya know... We're on a date ...goin' ta bed... Ain't it obvious?"

Ranma thought back to the night before, trying to recall what they had done. "So, dessert, an' sleep?"

"Ah guess ya could say that..." Ukyo grimaced, worried about what that meant he had done with Shampoo, but she tried to steel her willpower for what was to come. "'Zat what'cha did last night?"

Ranma suddenly got really embarrassed, causing Ukyo's panic levels to rise. "Yeah, we shared a big ice cream-..." Suddenly he remembered that was supposed to have been a secret!

"What? 'Zat all? That can't be!" An incredulous Ukyo could not believe her ears, she trusted Ranma, but she could not believe that Shampoo would have left it at that... Did he stop her then? That thought gave her some hope. Was he waiting for her date? That thought made her smile, for a moment, until she had to wonder if was there someone else he was waiting to 'date'?

"Well, we talked about th' job an' stuff, watched a movie, ya know..."

She could tell that he was nervous, but he was always a terrible liar, so at least she knew he was being honest. "Well then, ya wanna watch a movie?"

"I guess, sure."

"Sit here, Ah'll pop something in." After directing Ranma to sit on her bed, she went over to her shelf and got one of her favorite tapes out, and popped it into the video cassette recorder before pressing play. The first movie from the Kimagure Orange Road series, I Want to Return to That Day, was one with which she could relate, especially recently since Akane had bowed out of their fight. She identified with the more mature character, Modoka, and the energetic Hikaru reminded her of Shampoo in many ways, and she hoped he would be able to pick up on that aspect of the story.

As she sat next to Ranma, she had him lay back in a more relaxed position before curling up next to him as the movie began to play. They watched in relative silence, though she always bristled as Hikaru kissed Kyosuke and almost cheered as Modoka got mad at him for it. She had to resist the urge to take out her annoyance at their actions on Ranma, as if he really were the male lead of that story. She wanted him to get into the story, not distract him from it, even if she did flinch every time the two of them flirted on screen.

"So, what about'cha, Ranchan, ya got dirty books like that undah ya bed like that?" She winked at him, hoping to get a hint as to what he liked.

"A' course not! I ain't no pervert!" With Ukyo curled up to his side, he was unable to stand in protest.

She heard real pain in his voice and regretted her words. "Hey, it's okay, Ah was just teasin' ya. Ah didn't mean it." '...Wouldn't mind if ya did anyway. Guess Ah won't tell ya about th' ones under MAH bed then...'

Her mood quickly changed as Kyosuke's friends teased him about whether or not he had slept with Hikaru by then. Normally she would have shouted at the screen how 'he would never do such a thing', and how it was far more 'cruel' to ignore 'Modoka', but managed to resist due to having company for the first time ever as she watched this movie.

As Kyosuke and Modoka confessed and started to settle their feelings, she wanted to cheer all of the way through the scene where he admitted he loved 'her' to Hikaru. She did not want to feel good about another's misery, but when thinking of the girl as Shampoo, it was difficult for her to be anything but thrilled. She could tell by his body language he was not as happy about seeing the younger girl crying, so she did her best to keep it to herself.

She continued to thrill, every time the Shampoo expy kept trying, only to get rejected again, hoping Ranma would get her less than subtle message. He barely seemed to respond as she cuddled closer, or even rubbing her cheek on his shoulder. As the two walked toward their future, she looked up at Ranma, and mimicked a line from one of the last scenes. "Ah believe in ya too, Ranchan..."

His response was a loud snore, which was less than ideal in her mind. After rewinding the tape, and turning off the television, she climbed back into her bed, enjoying the fact that at least she got to cuddle with him alone all night. As much as she wanted to wake him up for more time together, she knew they both needed to wake up early in the morning...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ukyo awoke to Ranma's scent in her bed, and still feeling his warmth, however she quickly realized that his physical presence was lacking... "Kuso!" While she had not truly been expecting him to still be there when she got up, he was a notoriously early riser, but she HAD been hoping with everything she had done. The one-hundred million yen question was whether or not he was even still in the building?

There was a second, underlying fragrance that crept into her awareness, one with which she was VERY familiar! Her eyes fluttered open first to find the empty space she had known was beside her before she noticed the note sitting on top of a tray on one of her night tables. Seeing the note caused her to envision him leaving money with the note, as if she were a 'woman of the evening'! ...Not that she had managed to do anything along that line, much to her dismay.

She needed to gather her courage for a moment before she could bring herself to read the note, worried about what he might have said. She imagined everything from a love confession to being dumped, with a note asking her to never speak to him again! She finally opened the small card, to find a slightly anti-climactic message. 'Had ta run. Made ya breakfast, and left ya some money fer the ingredients I used. ~Ranma'

Having him pay her for food felt almost as bad a having been paid for some 'other' services, and it did not make her a happy camper that morning. As she grumbled about getting treated like a prostitute and not even getting to enjoy the 'fun part' she slowly looked over at the tray. As her eyes focused, she saw that on top of the fistful of yen, there was an okonomiyaki on the tray, which was certainly what she had been smelling. Dribbled in sauce was a short message that read, 'See ya later', and as she took a bite, a nostalgic flavor filled her mouth! It was the same style that she used to make for them in the morning as children! "Oh, Ranchan, ya remembered!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

After a bit more practice on his new technique, Ranma soaked in the public bath, thinking back on his date with Ukyo. It had been fun to reminisce about the old days when they were children, but the reminder of the way she treated Konatsu had made him rather uncomfortable, it almost reminded him of the family the poor kunoichi had left behind, and then there was that movie...

It had reminded him a bit too much of his own life, what with the way the main character was being accused of things he had not done and the way the girls were fighting over him. The story had made certain things he had always known all the more cleanly aware, no matter what he did, people were going to get hurt. It had gotten so depressing to him that he had tuned it out and gone to sleep before it had even ended.

'What'm I gonna do?' He sighed as he tried to push it out of his mind for the moment. He still had two more dates to go on, and maybe Kasumi or Hinako would be able to help him figure it out, but before that, he had to go to 'work'. He shook his head as he got out of the water, grabbing a towel, and finding it nice that no one was hungrily devouring his nude form with their eyes.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ranma hopped from roof to roof after leaving the bathhouse, making his way toward the Ikebukuro district, where his new employer lived. He had made good time without really trying, much faster than the train had been, and even managed to be early after his long bath.

After getting through the tedious security process and arriving at the apartment, he realized that he had beaten Shampoo, and decided to get started without her. He used the spare key to enter, but was taken aback by the utter disarray that starred back at him. It was as if some sort of natural disaster had occurred, at least none of her furniture appeared broken. He began straightening the things nearest the door first, and quickly moved to anything still damp, or perishable. He did not even want to risk moving at full speed, for fear of stepping on, or touching something disgusting, making it worse.

After sorting most of the obvious trash, Ranma opened the broom closet, and, along with the broom, mop, and various other cleaning implements, Misato fell onto the floor, still clutching a bottle of sake in one hand. She had only been wearing a pair of panties and a loose tanktop, and to make it worse, Pen-Pen was entangled in her shirt, threatening to expose her further. Surprisingly, even crumbling to the hard floor did not rouse her from her slumber, and he was uncertain what to do.

Seeing the penguin struggling to free itself, he reached down to help just in time to see six tiny claws burst forth from within the flimsy shirt, tearing it to shreds. A startled Ranma hopped back, unable to believe that the warm-water penguin had retractable talons in its wings, and blinking rapidly as it retreated from the room with the remains of her top dragging behind it. While trying not to stare at her chest, he happened to notice the large scar running across the right side of her chest she had showed them when they met. He cringed as he imagined what kind of damage could have caused such a wound, and silently thanked his father for teaching him how to heal himself with his ki after that 'cat-fist' fiasco, even if he HAD only done it to speed up the training.

After a few moments, he realized that his employer had apparently overslept, among other things. He considered waking her, but wondered what someone would say if they saw him this close to a woman wearing almost nothing... He decided that it would be safer for him to grab her something to cover herself first. Unfortunately for him, as he started to step around her, his baggy pants brushed her empty hand, and she reached out to grab his leg. With no angry ki behind the 'attack', he had been unable to sense it in time, and tripped, landing on top of her. "Ryoji-kuuuun, don't leave, let's do it again!"

He was unable to hear the sound of the door closing over his face having a very close meeting with the floor, and Misato's moaning. He had managed to position himself so that he had not harmed her when he fell, however that only added to how incriminating it appeared with his pelvis arched over her bare chest just as Shampoo and Kasumi entered the room.

"Oh, oh, oh my..."

"Aiyaaaa..."

"What? Hey! It ain't what it looks like! I can explain!" Ranma froze like the proverbial 'deer caught in headlights', looking up in horror as he heard their voices.

"Zzzzz..."

"What is doing there?"

"Yes, Ranma-kun, what happened?"

"Ya mean, yer gonna listen ta me? Yer not gonna hit me first?"

"Of course not... Have I not already told you that I would never do such a thing?"

"Well, yeah, but..."

"Is waiting for explaining..." Shampoo was not as calm as her 'older sister', but she wanted to trust him, and was trying not to jump to an conclusions.

Misato hugged him more tightly with a squeal of delight as he pressed against her, and his face landed on the sticky floor once again.

"Ow! Could ya, maybe help me up, an' grab a shirt first? Pen-Pen ran off with what's left a' th' last one..."

Somewhat disappointed, Shampoo pointed Kasumi toward the bedroom, while she moved to help free Ranma from his predicament. "Is okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, just banged my head. ...Ya really ain't mad?"

"Is wait for what say..." As she worked, they could hear Kasumi starting to panic a bit, and Ranma nodded to her, to go. She did not like the idea of leaving him entangled with an almost nude woman, but something was clearly happening. Nearing the bedroom, she found her friend standing stiff as a board, staring in shock at her surroundings. "What wrong?"

"Ara, ara, ara..."

Following her gaze, she saw the disaster that was Misato's bedroom, clothing, food packages, empty bottles, and various other trash covered almost everything in the room. "Is bad, is why pay so good. Shampoo guess Ranma already clean most main room."

"Ara, ara, ara..."

She spun Kasumi so that she was facing the other way, rummaged until she found what appeared to be a clean tee-shirt, and returned to help her friend back to where Ranma was in the Kitchen. By the time they had arrived, Ranma had managed to rotate himself somewhat, though now his face was almost buried between her legs, as they wrapped around his head, and her arms tightly grasped his waist. His mouth was buried, but his eyes screamed, 'HELP!'

"Aiyaaa... No is fair, why no do with Shampoo? Want turn next!"

"Mmnnruuuf!" Ranma continued to struggled against a grip that almost rivaled that of Shampoo herself, wishing one of them would assist in freeing him.

"Mmmmmm..." If Ranma's rump had not been blocking her, they would have seen Misato's sleeping face twisted in rapture from Ranma's movements and muffled pleas.

Back in the relatively cleaner kitchen, Kasumi started to recover from her shock, still finding it difficult to process that anyone could be THAT messy! Even her own admittedly sloppy family would be hard pressed to make that big of a mess in such a short period of time, shy of violent confrontation! On the other hand, she had always been there to pick up after them as they made their messes, so perhaps she was giving them too much credit.

Shampoo's hands threatened to wander as she imagined herself in Misato's place. That was, until the older woman's muffled screams of pleasure penetrated the bubbles of their distractions. "Aiyaa... Is right, almost forget, Ranma want free!"

Her body convulsing slightly, Misato's clenching grasp upon Ranma loosened, and between the three of them, they were able to get him free and her covered. As Ranma tried to explain how he had gotten into that predicament, he was still finding it difficult to believe that they had helped him and were listening to his side of things, not just punched him through the wall! ...He had to admit, he could not see Kasumi punching anyone through a wall, even if she were angry, but Shampoo could have done it, and neither of them seemed to even be overly upset with him. Shampoo had even resumed clinging to his arm, as she had been doing since their dating began.

"So, ya really still ain't mad at me?"

"You did not do anything to get upset about, Ranma-kun, you were trying to do the right thing. I am 'proud' of you."

"If do same thing with Shampoo later, then forgive!" The young warrior said with a wink.

"Uuuuh... We need ta wake Misato-san, it's gettin' late!" Happy for the distraction, Ranma tried to change the subject, not wanting his own employer to be late for for 'her' job.

Misato seemed to take the idea of being awoken in such a state in stride, as she casually made her way to the furo, simply waving off any concerns about being late. For some reason she felt strangely refreshed, as if she had finished a wonderful dream that she could not quite remember.

"Ain't like I'm complainin' er nuthin', but what're ya doin' here anyway, Kasumi-san? Did'ya guys think I wouldn't come?"

"Seem like Airen only cum when sleep." Shampoo pouted as she turned away in a momentary light huff.

"Hey, I might sleep in boring ol' school, but I don't sleep when I'm workin'!"

Shampoo just kept her mouth shut, not wanting to explain what she meant.

"Did Shampoo-chan not tell you? Katsuragi-san's friend wanted cleaning service as well, so I was getting the key..." Kasumi was suddenly worried about cleaning up after a 'friend' of such a slovenly woman.

"No..." Ranma turned to look at the young woman in question.

She stuck her tongue out at him, still pouting a bit. "Leave for date with Pancake-Girl before have chance!"

"Uhm right... Sorry bout that... Ya ain't gotta, if ya don't want ta. I'm sure it can't be THAT bad, won't take long when we're done here. Can do it while we wait on th' laundry."

Shampoo looked up, forgetting her previous annoyances. "Say, laundry not need do, yes?"

"Well, I know it's early, but there's just SO much a' it..."

"Laundry?" Kasumi perked up, at the sound.

"If ya want, ya can do that, and we can clean..."

Misato's bedroom flashed through her mind for a moment, before she quickly agreed, happy to be doing something so familiar. "Yes, thank you Ranma-kun. You are too kind."

"What? Naw, I ain't... Hey, Shampoo, why don't ya show Kasumi-san around, an' I'll finish up in here..." Ranma watched them leave, still uncertain how to take what had happened, they had not only listened to him and not hit him, but they actually BELIEVED him, not even getting angry at all! He was happy, but confused, and waiting for the other shoe to drop, so he did what he would always do, focus on the more immediate task.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi had made short work of the laundry, preferring to do most of it by hand, and was just about finished hanging it up to dry. She felt guilty about being paid to do such an easy task, but she had to admit, it would be nice not to have to dip into her savings whenever she needed something. The money she had gotten from selling those pieces of jewelry would not last forever, and she hated the thought of having to sell more, it was just so rude to sell a gift!

As she hung the last article on the clothesline, she sensed Shampoo sneaking up behind her, only to instinctively step out of the way, just in time to avoid being poked in the side. "What are you doing, Shampoo-chan?"

Unperturbed by being spotted and her failed attempt at a joke, the happy young woman smiled broadly. "Is want know, if want get lunch?"

"Oh my, I suppose I should have packed us a lunch, I did not think we would be gone this long."

"Is okay, was busy day, do more than plan, take too too long, so want eat early."

"I suppose I could just whip something up real fast..."

"Come, come! Is many place eat here, some even too too good!" Shampoo tugged on her arm, forcing her to follow along if she did not wish to resist. "Can get almost any kind food, what in mood eat?"

"Oh, I am not picky, wherever you two would like to go is fine with me."

"Fine, we go, see what catch eye!" Shampoo continued to lead Kasumi around until they found Ranma, looking a bit embarrassed with his hand rubbing the back of his neck while he talked to Misato and another woman.

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that, we'll be able ta get ta yer place next."

"It is fine, I understand, I have had to wake Misato-senpai myself. I have to go back to work soon anyway, so you have plenty of time."

"Thanks Ibuki-san, we had a bit of ...extra trouble this morning, it don't normally take that long, so I'm sure we can' handle it' no problem."

"If you can't it's really no problem, I don't really NEED a cleaning service, but when Misato-senpai told me about you and what you charged, I wanted to see what you could do."

"Nah, don't worry, we'll get it done in a flash, right after we eat, if that's okay with ya."

"Sure, sure, we were just going to lunch anyway, so why not join us? Akagi-sensei recommended a new place we were going to try, it will be our treat."

"Okay, I guess, just let me ask my-..."

"We go!" Shampoo glomped onto Ranma, forgetting that she had Kasumi's arm in hand, making it appear as if they were both hugging him in greeting.

"Oh my... Why, hello there." Kasumi was relieved to see that few people were looking their way as she got caught up in the public display.

"Well now, this looks fun! Should we join them, Maya-chan?" Misato winked at the younger woman.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"What did you think of the food, Saotome-san?"

"It was good, it's just, French food always reminds me of some real weirdoes..."

"Well, maybe some dessert will take your mind off of it!" Maya's voice lowered to barely over a whisper. "That's really why we came here, the desserts are supposed to be to die for! Everyone likes strawberries, right?"

"Ranma pretend no like sweets..."

"What?" The two older women looked at the trio curiously.

"SHAMPOO?" Ranma gave her a hurt glare.

"Oh, mean Ranma no like sweets..." She stuck her tongue out, looking sheepish at her mistake.

"Okay then! We would like five of your strawberry mille-feuille, please."

Their server left with a bow, returning before they knew it with the requested confections. The strange-looking layered delicacy was placed before them and their jaws dropped. Each one had three thin and crispy wafers made from puff pastry, the bottom layer had six glazed strawberries cut in half, and lined up in two rows, the top layer was filled with a rich vanilla-bean sorbet, a light vanilla cream on the top layer, and topped with three caramelized almonds. It was delectable, the sweet, soft, crispy, goodness, with each bite carrying with it a hint of mint. It was not easy to eat, and Kasumi knew that it had to take quite a bit of time to make, but they could all agree that with was well worth the effort. Everyone's eyes lit up as they each tasted theirs, and everyone except Ranma squealed in delight, to show their approval.

"Oh, Sensei was right!" The short haired woman wanted to hug herself in delight.

"Mmmmmm... It's like sex and beer rolled into one!"

"Aiyaa! Think Ranma be better, but is too too good!"

"Oooooooo... this is woooonderful! We might have to come back here on OUR date!" Kasumi could not believe the way everything other than the fruit was melting in her mouth.

"YOUR date? You are dating BOTH of them? You sly dog!" Ranma looked a bit disconcerted at the accusation, and more than a bit guilty. "Oh, wow, it's true!" Misato looked back and forth between the trio, and started to wonder... "If you are THAT good, maybe you'd like to take me out one night too?"

Before Ranma was able to respond, Shampoo beat him to it. "Is 'that good', but Ranma no has openings for new girlfriend, is too too sorry..."

"Oh my, yes, between the four of us, when would you ever find the time?"

"FOUR? You really are a stud, aren't you?" Misato openly gaped at the young man, jealous of the younger women's luck.

"It ain't like that!" Ranma instinctively protested the accusation.

"It isn't?" The older woman raised an eyebrow at his defensive reaction, a sly grin creeping over her attractive features.

Ranma blushed and started twiddling his fingers. "Well, not really..."

"What do you mean? Are you, or aren't you dating four girls?"

"Well, fer starters, Sensei don't really change into a girl that often any more..."

"You're dating a GUY too?"

"NO! Sensei doesn't change genders too ...just age."

"'Too'?" The two other women exchanged glances, wondering what he meant by that.

"Kuso..." Ranma hung his head, he hated when had to explain his curse, and tried to avoid it, but since he would be working for these women, they might need to know at some point...

He had been just about ready to open his mouth when Shampoo, seeing the look in his eyes, interrupted his attempt. "Shampoo have curse."

"So, you change genders?"

"No, change body, but have special soap prevent."

"Then who changes genders, and why?"

"Ya ain't gotta worry, Shampoo. I do, I got a curse too. Fer me, it flips my gender."

"Then what about you?"

"Shampoo turn into thing Ranma hate most..." One could almost see the clouds gather over her head, as she lamented her bad luck. "So if Ranma stay with Shampoo, do what can, make sure never happen more."

"And you?"

"Oh my, no, I never went to that training ground."

"Training ground? Never mind. So, your teacher, did go there?"

"Oh no, that's a different problem, without drainin' ki, Sensei looks like a kid, but we kind a' got that covered."

"'Draining ki', 'curses', what kind of a world do you live in? I've never heard of such things!"

"I ain't never heard a' a penguin with claws either, but-..."

"Claws? Do you not mean 'talons'?" Kasumi was fairly certain penguins had little hooks on their feet, but she was not an expert.

Misato's hands quickly covered Ranma's mouth. "Shhhh, hey, keep it down, that's a secret."

"So are our curses, but since we can't really control them, I thought ya might need ta know. If ya see a short read-head, with my clothes and hair style comin' ta clean, don't freak out, that's probably just me."

"You could have just told us that you hired another person..."

"Fer a while, we told people I was Kasumi-san's cousin, but, it just gotta be too much hassle. Ya been nice ta us, I figured I should be honest with ya. It's just easier."

"Thanks? I hate to ask, but could we see it? How does it happen?"

Ranma hung his head in resignation. "Yeah, I guess, but not here, okay?"

"Check please!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Back in Misato's apartment, Ranma demonstrated his curse. "You're even cuter as a girl! It's no wonder you have so many girlfriends! Well, if you ever want a more 'experienced' woman to show you the ropes, just give me a call."

"MISATO-SENPAI!"

Waving her hand at her kohai, she replied nonchalantly. "It's fine, it's fine..."

Shampoo hesitated for a moment, wondering if that might be a good idea, but there was something dangerous about the woman when she spoke like that and she decided that there was far too much competition to be his first anyway! "Is no need, is thanking for work, but rest is handle too too fine!"

"Aw, can't you loan the guy to me for just one night?"

"NO! Shampoo go first!"

"OH! I assumed you already had! You really should, you know, it is SO worth it!"

"Don't listen to Senpai, you do not have to do anything you do not want to do..." Maya looked to the boy in embarrassment for her senior's actions.

"SHAMPOO WANT DO!"

Ranma's head bobbed back and forth, as if he were watching a tennis match, only following the conversation superficially, finally stopping on his employer, whom he assumed had another job for him. "What'd ya need me ta do?"

"Oh come on, I need you to 'clean my pipes'."

"Which pipes? Ya got a clog?"

"Yup, I need you to 'polish my pearl'."

"Where's that? I didn't see much jewelry..."

"You know, 'Tangle with my tuna', 'dunk my doughnut', 'put your loaf in my bread-box', 'stuff my turkey', 'land in my cockpit', 'do snu-snu'? Any of this getting through to you?" Misato could not believe that anyone was that dense.

"...? Ya need us ta cook too?"

"Shampoo say 'no need', that job too too taken!"

"SENPAI! You really need to stop drinking in the mornings!"

"But it helps cure the headache from the night before!"

"That's no reason to hit on other people's boyfriends."

"Is that what-...?" Ranma was finally starting to piece together what they meant, even if most of the slang had gone over his head.

"It's okay, it's okay, they're into sharing, right? 'Sides, that's the other best way to get rid of a headache! Get's the blood to flow away from the painful area..."

"No 'want' share, no have choice. Ranma mother want be 'fair'..."

Not one to miss an opportunity, Misato jumped at the chance. "What's fair about leaving me out? What about you, what do you think?" She turned to Kasumi, who seemed to be the more reasonable of the pair.

"Oh my, it's not my place to say... It's Ranma-kun's choice." Kasumi looked nervously around the room, wondering what he would do.

"Oh come on, what boy wouldn't make 'that' choice?"

"Is too too good question, yes?" Shampoo gave her airen a critical eye.

"One that ain't a pervert!"

"Oh please, it's normal to be perverted, if you aren't, that really IS perverted!"

"Why's everyone keep saying that?" Ranma eyes drooped, looking at the floor.

"Because it's true..."

"Oh my..." Kasumi blushed as she covered her mouth.

"Some people just hide it better than others. If we were not like that, the population of this planet would not be increasing exponentially!"

"Huh, what'd ya mean?"

"It's people who pretend not to enjoy it, and say they only do it to procreate, are causing the population to explode. If they could just admit that it feels good, and can be done for fun, we would not have so many unneeded pregnancies. There's nothing wrong with having a little fun, isn't that right, Maya-chan?"

"I suppose that's mostly true ...to some degree." Her younger co-worker blushed blushed as she considered topic.

"See? Everything's fine! Just for a little bit?"

"Shouldn't we all be gettin' back ta work? There's just SO much ta do..."

"Hey, they're talking about your place, Maya-chan! How messy is it?"

"It's not! I don't want to hear that from YOU!"

"Well, we ain't actually seen it yet, but we're goin' right now!" After checking to see that he still had the key she had given them, he took Shampoo and Kasumi by the hand, and led them out of the room.

"Aiyaaa..."

"Oh my..."

All of them were glad to be out of that uncomfortable conversation, Shampoo also thrilled that Ranma was holding her hand, and Kasumi found that she did not mind it either, it reminded her of how she felt when they were pretending to be married on their trip to Hakone. They were both lost in their own little worlds as they entered the smaller apartment. Neither of them were paying much attention as Ranma said, "This ain't bad at all."

"No, is too too nice." Shampoo was still focused on the fact that he was willingly holding her hand.

Kasumi was only partially paying attention, still being lost in the feeling of holding hands. "Yes, Dana-sama, what would you like for me to do first?"

"Should we each pick a room and start?"

Shampoo was hoping that after seeing how sloppy their employers were, she would look much better to him by comparison, though this apartment was not exactly messy. Should she send him to the messiest room to turn him away from those women, should she send him to the bedroom, or laundry to possibly get him excited about anything, so she could take advantage of it later? Before she could decide, the choice was taken from her as the others chose their assignments.

"I will take care of the laundry!"

"Then I'll start in th' kitchen. Ya want ta do th' bedroom, Shampoo?"

"Shampoo want do, if Ranma come to..."

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NOTES

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Strawberry Mille-Feuille

www greatbritishchefs com recipes strawberry-mille-feuille-sorbet-recipe

Lactose tolerance is not particularly common in Japan (about 30% these days), despite that, milk is still commonly sold in vending machines outside of bathhouses, and it is a popular option. I once saw that line in an anime, and they were right, an ice cold milk after a nice hot bath is a beautiful thing, though many prefer beer or sake. The other side of that was that many young girls seem to believe the urban legend that drinking milk will help their breasts grow.

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OMAKE 13

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Ukyo awoke to Ranma's scent in her bed, and still feeling his warmth, however she quickly realized that his physical presence was lacking... "Kuso!" While she had not truly been expecting him to still be there when she got up, he was a notoriously early riser, but she HAD been hoping with everything she had done. The one-hundred million yen question was whether or not he was even still in the building?

There was a second, underlying fragrance that crept into her awareness, one with which she was VERY familiar! Her eyes fluttered open first to find the empty space she had known was beside her before she noticed the note sitting on top of a tray on one of her night tables. Seeing the note caused her to envision him leaving money with the note, as if she were a 'woman of the evening'! ...Not that she had managed to do anything along that line, much to her dismay.

She needed to gather her courage for a moment before she could bring herself to read the note, worried about what he might have said. She imagined everything from a love confession to being dumped, with a note asking her to never speak to him again! She finally opened the small card, to find a slightly anti-climactic message. 'Had ta run. Thanks fer th' fun. ~Ranma'

"DAMNIT-TO-HELL! Am Ah just a whore ta Ranchan?"

Konatsu popped into the room looking a bit disheveled and picking up the small stack of yen. "Is that for me? Ranma-sama seemed particularly ...distressed this morning, so I did what any good kunoichi would."

Ukyo face contorted into one of horror as the implications hit home. "What the F-...?"

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Thanks to Balrog, my new assistant editor, for all of the help and this omake suggestion.

How will Ranma's next date go? Come back next time for, 'Notfucks and Chill', or 'Professional Pearl Polisher' and find out!


	43. Chapter 43

Warning: Do not eat this story, especially if you are drunk or pregnant. Think of the children!

Chapter 43 - Practice Makes Perfect

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"Oh no my dear, you cannot wear something so plain, you are going on a 'date'!" Nodoka fretted over Kasumi wearing her usual style of outfit, simply without the apron.

"Oh my, no, this date is just for practice!" The young woman tried to brush off Ranma's mother's concerns as 'unimportant'.

"Practice makes perfect, my dear."

"What do you mean?"

"Simply that you do not need to worry about such details. You have only one duty to perform this evening, and that is to enjoy yourself. Leave Ranma's training to me. Okay?"

"But-..."

"No, at least for tonight, I must insist that you think of yourself first, and everyone else ...another time. This is YOUR night."

"But, Ranma-kun-..."

"Will be with you 'all, night, long'."

"Oh my..." Kasumi got distracted as she remembered walking around Hakone arm-in-arm.

"Let's put those bad memories out of our pretty little heads, okay?" Nodoka did not want the young woman's bad experience with Doctor Tofu to taint her memories with her son.

"What, what 'bad memories'?"

"In that case, never mind, forget I said anything, but let us find you something cuter to wear..."

"But, I like this-..."

Not paying attention to Kasumi's intent, Nodoka continued looking through her closet. "Oh yes, I do too! Let us see it on you!"

She handed her a smaller skirt than she normally wore, one with a floral pattern. "I have not worn that in almost seven years! I doubt it would even fit..."

"That's good, it will make you look younger!"

Kasumi mumbled under her breath. "It will make me look like I am trying too hard..."

"What was that, my dear?"

"I do not 'need' to look younger-..."

"Ah yes, appeal to your maturity, I see..." Nodoka returned the tiny dress to the back of the closet.

"At least it wasn't the Hello Kitty shirt..." She knew that she had said she prefer older, more mature men, but she did not think that dressing like a child was the best way to go about that.

"No, I think avoiding anything with cats might be wise."

"I did not mean..."

"Are you certain that you do not wish to borrow another one from your little Chinese friend?"

"NO! Oh my, I mean, we will not be going anywhere that fancy, I would like to keep things ...casual." She had spent far enough time in those revealing dresses for her tastes for a lifetime!

"Discreet, sneak attack, very nice, you are learning well, men are always at their easiest when you surprise them. Speaking of which, this will not do, you need your battle underwear!"

"But, it's a date, not a battle..."

"Love is war, my dear, and you need to fight for what you want." Nodoka turned her head back to smile at Kasumi.

"What 'I' want?" That confused the young woman, the only thing 'she' wanted was to help Ranma!

"Remember the family motto, 'Anything goes in love and war'!"

"But, we are not-... It is not-..." For some reason, she could never find the right words to tell Ranma's mother that they were not 'in love', she was just trying to help him heal, she owed him that much at least. No matter her wording, it just did not sound 'correct' in her head, and she was never one for confrontations if they could be avoided. As long as Ranma understood her intentions, that was all that mattered.

"Perhaps not yet, but I can sense those girls' wills to fight, and you need to be ready. Even if they were not, there will always be other women, love is always a battle! You are in a competition with not only others, but with your partner, and even yourself!"

"That sound like something my little sister would say."

"But it is true, while you are not fighting in the traditional sense, as my husband would prefer, but rather with your feminine wiles, your personality, and even your body. We did not do all of that training for nothing, my dear. If you do not take this seriously, you could end up getting stuck with the 'booby prize', and trust 'Mother', you do not want THAT to happen to you as well. ...Here, put these on." Nodoka tossed her some lacy undergarments.

"Oh my..." They were not the most comfortable in the world, however they were from the collection she had gotten from her own mother's shrine, so she could not refuse.

"Now, have you made your plans? Did you make reservations? Is there anything else you need? Here, try this on..."

Catching the skirt, she pulled it on, over her hips. "Is this not a little ...small?" Kasumi wondered if that had been some of the clothing that had been left behind, she really needed to take the time to finish cleaning out that closet, but there had just been so many things that seemed more important at the time.

"It's perfect, now we just need to find a matching blouse!" Nodoka started digging deeper into the closet wondering exactly how far back it went, while focusing on more of the items that Kasumi had not purchased herself, as the young woman grew more concerned. Sometimes, by Kasumi's standards, the woman had very strange ideas of what she considered 'appropriate', she still blushed when she thought of wearing the Chinese dresses they had sent with her on their trip. It was one thing to wear revealing outfits when they were training, but to wear something like that out in public was too much for her.

"This looks like it will match well, try this one on!" She held up a thin, cream colored blouse, that blended nicely with the pencil thin, peach colored, miniskirt she was wearing, though the cherry pattern gave Kasumi pause.

"Is that not a little ...young?"

"Pish, posh. You are still a child, with your whole life ahead of you. Besides, maybe you will look good enough to eat, and Ranma will gobble you up! You know what they say, 'the way to men's hearts is through their stomachs'!"

Kasumi could not help but have flashes from a certain night when she had agreed to participate in his training directly, and Ranma had done just that. Her toes still curled when she remembered the feelings it had produced in her, far better than anything she had felt on her own, during 'training'. "Oh, oh my..."

"See? It's perfect!"

Unfortunately, the fabric was a bit too thin for the darker bra she had been wearing, so she had to switch to a lighter, pink color one. "Oh my..." She had to admit, she did FEEL a bit younger wearing it, though she was still embarrassed to be seen trying to 'recapture her youth'.

"Oh no, that simply will not do, your panty line is showing..."

Kasumi felt a bit relieved. "Then we can pick a different skirt?"

"No need to go that far, we will just change these out for another, less noticeable pair..." Nodoka ran out of the room, and returned within moments, barely enough time for Kasumi to remove the pair she was wearing. "Here you are, try this." The older woman held out a peach colored ...string, with the tiniest patch of cloth she had ever seen.

"How...?" She held it up, trying to figure out exactly what it was supposed to cover.

"Come my dear, this is the front, and this is the back."

"That string?" Seeing the nod she got as a reply, she almost feinted. "How shameless!"

"Not at all, they are very common now days, though if you prefer, you could do it the old fashioned way, and do without ...if you believe you have the muscle control."

She had problems with that concept on several levels, and did her best to put minuscule thing in place before straightening her skirt. It would be bad if something happened.

"There you go, you can hardly see a thing. What do you think?"

"It is a bit ...uncomfortable."

"Very true, that is the price of looking beautiful sometimes, you will get used to it."

"Will I?" The young homemaker had her doubts.

"Now, shoes?"

"Flats, I do not wish to appear taller than Ranma-kun."

Nodoka had wanted to give her stiletto heels, it would put Ranma's eye level a bit lower, but respected her reasoning, and chose a pair of cream colored pumps. "Here we go, what do you think?"

Kasumi was embarrassed by the revealing outfit, and wanted to cover herself as much as possible. "It might get 'cool' ...if we are out late, so maybe I should take a sweater, or a long coat, yes, yes, that is what I need!"

Nodoka considered the look, and chose a small, thin sweater, with long sleeves, but barely came to her waist, and she did not think she would even be able to fasten the buttons, so it had to hang open in the front.

"Is this not a little ...small for me?" Kasumi could practically see through it, but it did provide an extra layer, and a 'bit' more warmth.

"Exactly! Let us go!" Nodoka grabbed her hand and ran.

"Oh my..." Kasumi was pulled into the hallway, toward the entryway, almost stumbling over her feet as they moved.

"Ka- Ka- Kasumi-chan! Ya- Ya look pretty." Ranma stood there, alone, in a western style, black suit, looking quite nervous, yet handsome, if only he had been riding a white horse, he would have looked much like a dream she used to have when she was somewhat younger.

Nodoka raised an eyebrow at his use of honorific, but said nothing more about it.

"Why, thank you, Anata, you also look very handsome. Where did you get that suit?"

"Mom got it fer me." He paused long enough for her to nod. "You?"

"Same." He nodded back, both of them trying to ignore the eyes upon them.

"So, ya want ta get out a' here?" Ranma smiled as he extended his hand.

Kasumi returned his smile as she placed her own hand in his. "Certainly, if you are ready to leave."

"Just a moment, if you do not mind, I have something for you." Nodoka handed a folded piece of paper to Kasumi. "I took the liberty to make some 'suggestions' for your date, if you find yourself looking for something to do, you might find some helpful options."

"Thank you, Mother, but I-..."

"Oh, it is no problem, my dear, I am happy to help. I even made you some reservations for dinner, and if you need someplace special, go here. I hear they even a room where you can ride a horse! Many of the housewives from my old neighborhood would swear by the place. Moroboshi-san used to go there with this little Korean boy ...the poor thing certainly deserves a break from that family! Though their son can be very manly upon occasion..."

Kasumi was fairly certain that she had just heard something she should not have. Luckily for her, she had no idea who the Moroboshis were, nor what they may have done, it made it easier not to think about what Nodoka might have meant. "Oh, I am certain it will be helpful, thank you."

"Uh, yeah, thanks. We'll see ya later, 'kay?" Ranma felt it would be best to get out of there before his mother tried to be more 'helpful'.

Kasumi had started to look at the paper before Ranma had tugged on her hand, forcing her to follow him out through the door if she did not want to get pulled off balance. "Oh, oh, oh my..."

After getting around the corner, Ranma slowed to a stop. "Sorry 'bout that, I figured mom'd just keep talkin' embarrassin' stuff, ya know? Ya all right? Where ya want ta go?"

"Of course, I was just surprised, that is all. I did not get to read much from your mother's itinerary, but I could tell that it was telling us to go to Shibuya..."

"We ain't gotta do all that if ya had yer own plans, what'd ya want ta do?"

Ranma looking so earnestly into her eyes made her blush and turn her head away from him. "Well, I had intended on making us a nice picnic, but we left a bit earlier than I had expected..."

"Sorry about that. Ya want ta go back, er somethin'?"

"That is fine, it would be a shame to let your mother's reservations go to waste." She let out a light giggle. "Shall we go to the train station then?"

Ranma nodded, looking slightly uncomfortable, but said nothing as they resumed walking.

"Is something wrong?"

Ranma smiled at her reassuringly. "Nah, if that's what ya want ta do, then we'll take th' train."

"You do not wish to go today?"

"Naw, it ain't that, I just ain't real big on trains. Took one th' other day with Shampoo, an' it was so crowded, noisy, an' ...slow."

'Slow?' Kasumi pondered that for a moment, but she could not help but focus on that aspect a bit longer. "But, it is over eleven kilometers away..." Was he offering to carry her that far? "...Would you rather walk? Though, I am not that fast, I am afraid."

"Ya ain't gotta be. Just, hold on a sec."

Kasumi felt a warmth fill her as he lifted her into his arms and she could not help but to smile as she closed her eyes. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she leaned into his chest, and she could feel his heartbeat along with her own. A small part of her thrilled whenever he held her, it always made her feel so safe, protected ...treasured. For an instant, she felt him tense and his aura grew even warmer, though it had passed before she had fully registered it. She was almost hoping that he would take his time, so that she could enjoy every moment, when her thoughts were cut off by his confidently sarcastic voice, though it was slightly more strained than usual, as if he were actually winded!

"Here ya are, Ojou-sama, Shibuya station. Thank ya fer ridin' Ranma rail!"

Kasumi giggled again, both at his over-the-top way of addressing her, but also at his 'joke'. "You silly boy." Her eyes fluttered open, and she was surprised to see that they WERE in fact, in a train station. "What?" The more she looked, around, the more she realized that it was not Nerima station either. "How?" It REALLY WAS Shibuya station! "When did you learn how to teleport?" She had not closed her eyes for more than a few moments!

"I didn't!"

"But ...then...?"

"I just ran, ya know, like how I hide an' do th' cleanin'. Just movin' too fast fer most people ta see me."

"But ...I did not even feel you move!"

"Well, a' course not! I had ta use my ki ta protect ya, if I let ya feel the movement, ya would a' got hurt ...an' we'd probably be naked."

Kasumi barely caught the last part of what she said, and then, only because he was still holding her so closely. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, a long time ago, I was first really learnin' how ta punch fast, an' I got so hot, it burnt up my sleeves. After laughin' at me fer lookin' stupid, Pops told me I gotta use my shields more'en just when I'm gettin' hit. Now, I pretty much got 'em up all th' time."

She had wondered why everyone was giving them a wide berth, it was strange not to have people bumping into them in such a crowded station, she had thought it was simply due to their apparent public display of affection. Kasumi blushed as she started to realize how they must look to everyone else in the station. "Not that I wish to complain, but perhaps you ought to put me down then, do you think?"

As Ranma slowly came to the same conclusion, it took most of his willpower to not simply drop her on the spot out of embarrassment. "Oh, sorry 'bout that."

"You do not need to be sorry, it was an amazing thing you did. I can barely believe it is true." Despite Ranma setting her down, her arms remained around his neck as she gave him a peck on the cheek. "Thank you, you are an incredible young man."

Ranma was too shocked to move, between the embarrassment of the complement, and being kissed in public, especially by someone like Kasumi, was almost too much for him. "I-... I-... thank ya... I mean, it ain't nuthin' special, ya know?"

"No, I do not know that. I think you are VERY special, and what you do is ...marvelous."

"Well same here, I think yer pretty neat too..."

"Oh, no, not at all... I am as normal as they come, just a boring housewife ...who will 'never' be married."

"That ain't true, any guy'd be stupid not ta date ya, er marry ya, er whatever."

"You know, it is not polite to tell a girl that you want her to date someone else while on a date with you?"

Ranma suddenly found something VERY interesting near his feet. "Yeah, but it ain't like it's real, I know ya wouldn't be here if Mom didn't push ya inta it."

Kasumi suddenly felt her own embarrassment, and found it difficult to look Ranma in the eyes. "Well, that is not exactly true... How about we pretend again, like on our trip, okay? You are supposed to be 'practicing' after all..."

A relaxed smile crept across his face, as the memories of their little vacation came rushing back to him. "Okay, Kasumi-chan, where ya want ta go first?"

"Just a moment, Anata." A grinning Kasumi guided them to one of the many gift-shops in the station where she purchased a small, disposable camera. "There is one thing we simply MUST do while we are here."

"Sure. What's that?"

"We have to get a picture with Hachiko, of course!"

"Huh? Who's Hachiko?"

"You do not know the story of Hachiko?" Seeing him shake his head, she took a hold of his hand, and led him toward the exit. "Come, I will show you." She made her way out of the station as quickly as she could make her way through the heavy foot traffic where they found signs marking the 'Hachiko entrance'. "Here we are."

As they exited the building, Kasumi looked around quickly, before making her way across the busy walkway. Making their way through, they came to a life-sized, bronze statue of an Akita dog, resting on a stone platform, with a sign that read, 'Chuuken Hachiko'. Ranma just looked at it for a moment not certain what he was supposed to think. "Loyal Dog Hachiko? So, what's that mean?"

"First, we need to take the pictures, if you please." They took turns, posing in front of the statue, when an older woman offered to take their picture as a couple. After thanking the woman, Kasumi turned to Ranma, and directed him to sit on the benches behind the memorial.

"Now, back in the Taishou era, an older agricultural scientist who used to use this station to commute to work, got a puppy. For two almost years, Hachiko would meet Professor Ueno on this very spot, every day after the Professor would return. Then, tragedy struck, the old man died while giving a lecture, and never returned." Kasumi had to pause for a moment, dabbing her eyes with her handkerchief. "For nine more years, Hachiko returned, precisely when the train would arrive, hoping its master would return that day, in spite of some trying to run it off." Kasumi was having to take irregular pauses, to catch her breath, as she choked out the story. "Many regular commuters, some who had seen the pair together took an interest, feeding the dog as it faithfully waited." She could no longer control her tears and they poured freely, even Ranma's eyes looked as if they could begin to leak at an moment. "Hachiko is a symbol of national loyalty!"

Ranma might have been panicking over Kasumi's sobs, if it was not requiring so much of his own willpower not to shed his own.

"It is just so beautiful!" Kasumi wiped her face, before blowing her nose, embarrassed to be making such a scene in public.

As they sat there, trying to recover, Ranma noticed all of the people staring at them, and even if some of them were out of respect, he did not wish to be the center of attention for something that 'unmanly'! "Hey, um, ya ready ta go ta th' next thing?"

Kasumi took a few more moments to get herself under control before trusting herself to look Ranma in the eyes. She had been there many times before, but she had never quite gotten so emotional, even if it did move her every time she thought about it. Perhaps it was due to Ranma being with her, there were times when he reminded her of that dog, he was always so loyal and obedient with her. There were times when she had to wonder if she knew the same Ranma as everyone else. He was just so nice, tidy, and polite, if he had only been raised with a bit better manners, and perhaps had been a bit taller or older, he would have been the perfect boy!

"...Aisai? ...Kasumi-chan?" Lost in thought, Kasumi had barely noticed that Ranma was trying to get her attention.

"Oh my, yes, Darling?"

"Where ya want ta next?"

"Well, your mother suggested that we go-..." Kasumi started to reach for the slip of paper she had been given.

"Who cares what Mom wants? This is 'yer' date, not mom's, so it's up ta ya what we do. What does Kasumi-chan want ta see?"

"Would it be okay with you, if we just walk around for a little while?"

"Sure, where-...?"

"How about we simply walk around the outside of the station first, okay?"

"I guess so..." As he tried to stand, he found that Kasumi's hand was still in his, so he helped pull her to her feet.

"Thank you, you are such a gentleman." Linking her arm in his, they wove their way through the hoards of human bodies as they glanced at all of the towering buildings and flashing lights. They started to pass people playing music, dancing, singing, and other various buskers. "Oooo, is this not lovely?"

"Yeah, it IS pretty wild..." They paused to watch a number of people who were juggling in one of the few open areas. "Pops an' I used ta do stuff like this ta make money whenever things got tight ...which was most a' time."

"Really?" Kasumi was not exactly surprised, she could imagine him performing some amazing feats to entertain the passersby.

"Oh yeah, jugglin', balancin', demonstrations, whatever people might pay ta see. It got a lot easier after the curses, people just LOVE ta watch a cute girl with a tame panda doin' tricks."

"I can imagine... I am sorry you had to go through all of that."

"Why? It ain't yer fault."

"Well, no, but nobody should have to go through that simply to eat."

"Meh, it's a job. It ain't like I ain't had ta do worse, it's better 'en starvin', er eatin' junk I found er killed."

"Well, I suppose you are correct." She remembered times when she barely had rice to serve her family, she would have done almost anything she could think of to prevent them from going hungry.

They stopped before a young woman who was playing on a metal drum that she appeared to have made herself. She smiled as they watched her playing, growing more enthusiastic at the attention. Some of the other musicians near them, saw that they had thrown several coins into her hat, and scooted closer to her, each trying to play along with the percussion instrument.

After a moment, the infectious mood spurned Kasumi on, and she could not help but sing along with them. "Pretty red brick, bridge that spans the tide." She turned around, looking Ranma in the eyes. "Draw the picture, see the face of the one I want by my side." She held out her hand, taking Ranma's, and led him in a short dance. "There you are, all dress in black, but I can't see your eyes. Can it be, you're dressed that way for me? Why are you, so, shy?"

For the first time, it felt as though Kasumi was singing that verse to him, and it made him blush even harder than just this close to her in public would already.

"La la, la la, la la la la la la... La la, la la, la la la la la..."

As they danced around, the gathering audience grew far more eager to throw coins into the hats and baskets near them. As their dance came to an end, the gathering of spectators began to cheer and shout 'helpful advice', such as 'KISS! KISS! KISS!', especially from the other teens in the assembly of onlookers.

Caught up in the moment, the graceful young woman leaned in closely, pressing her lips against those of her dance partner's. Ranma stiffened, uncertain how he was supposed to react, waiting for the inevitable 'killing intent' directed his way. Though, while there was a clear wave of jealousy from their audience, not all of it was directed at him, and far more surprising to him, were the supportive cheers that followed. So stunned was he, that he forgot to try to back away as the woman in his arms pressed into him more closely, almost hungrily. For a moment, Ranma thought he was out with Shampoo or even Kodachi, with how aggressively she was taking his lips, and wanted to back away.

"Wha-...?"

As the clamor from the crowd started to die down, Kasumi realized what she had just done, and suddenly wanted to die herself. "Oh my, oh my, oh my... What have I done? I am SO sorry, I do not know what came over me! Oh my... Oh my... Oh my..."

Seeing the typically calm Kasumi panicking, did nothing to help soothe Ranma's turbulent emotions, so as he always did in such situations, he quickly fled the scene, barely having the where-with-all to scoop Kasumi into his arms before making his escape. The pair moved so rapidly that they appeared to simply vanish before most of the observers.

Ranma continued to use one of the Saotome 'final attacks', until they were in a dark, and quiet alley, and mostly alone. Not wanting to have a replay of the other night with Shampoo, he kept his senses pealed for any aggression within their immediate vicinity. Once he felt certain that no one was looking for them, he replayed the scene back in his head, trying to figure out how and why that had happened.

"Oh, oh, I, I, I am SO sorry, I do not know what came over me! I, I, hope ...you can forgive me. Please, do not hate me..."

"What? How could I ever hate ya?"

"But, it was so rude of me, and you seemed upset at the time... I was just caught up in the moment! I am sorry!"

"Ya ain't gotta apologize, I just didn't know why ya'd do that... Ya know, I was surprised, an' all..."

"So, you are not angry with me?"

"A' course not, who could get mad at Kasumi-chan?"

Thinking back on her sisters when they were younger and she had to scold them, Kasumi frowned slightly ...it looked rather cute. "You would be surprised." Then she considered how accustomed to her younger sister's wrath he was. "Then again, perhaps you might understand after all..."

Seeing Kasumi giggling again, his previous concerns about her mood vanished abruptly. He felt as though he was 'missing' something important, but he was unable to put his finger on it, so chose to change the subject, and try to forget every embarrassing part of that situation. "So, um, where ya want ta go next?"

Looking around for a moment, Kasumi asked the first thing that came to her mind. "Where are we now?"

Ranma's sheepish look returned as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, I ain't exactly, sure, but we ain't more 'en a couple kilometers from th' station. Ya want ta go up, an' take a look?"

Kasumi just looked at him quizzically, not exactly certain what he had meant. "Up whe-...? ...Oh my!" Before she noticed, she had resumed her position in Ranma's protective arms, and they were rebounding off of the sides of the buildings, nimbly racing for the top. Looking over the side of the roof, Kasumi's stomach did somersaults, and had Ranma not still been holding her, she felt certain that she would have fallen to her death. "Amazing..."

"Yeah, ain't th' view great from up here? Ya can see th' station, it's over that way, there's a park over there, there's th' Tower Records building, a bunch a' funny lookin' buildings over that way. Anythin' sound good ta ya?"

"Now that we know where we are, how do you feel about just walking around together, and just see what looks interesting, is that all right with you, Anata?"

"Sure, whatever ya want. Hold on."

"Oh myyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" She could not believe he had just jumped off of the building! It took a moment for it to sink in that he was using the same trick, of bouncing from one wall to the other to slow their decent. By the time they had landed gently on the ground, her heart was racing, yet a small part of her wanted to do it again. "Anata, you are better than an amusement park ride! Definitely an 'E' ticket!"

"Ya want another ride?"

Kasumi nodded vigorously. "Darling, I could ride 'The Ranma' all day!" She suddenly realized how that might have sounded to someone out of context. "Oh my..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Oh yeah, so what'd ya do then?" Ukyo slammed her fist down as she demanded answers!

"Shampoo and Ranma have too too good date!"

"Oh yeah, what's so good about it?"

"Other than stupid Pancake-Girl no interrupt? Spend whole day alone with Airen, include go ...how say? 'Love hotel'!"

"HOW DARE YA?" If only she had been able to keep him awake a bit longer that night, she knew she could have done it too! "No fair!"

"So manly..." Nodoka poked her head into the room for a moment, almost dancing in joy as she dusted.

"Is true! But no have place talk, make Ranma sleep in too too messy room!" Shampoo might have been leaving out crucial details from her story, but there was no reason she was going to tell Ukyo that, better to flip the attack back on her instead!

"What? How'd ya know? ...Ah mean, 'that ain't th' same thang'!"

"Why is no?"

"Well, that's cause ...ya know ...we didn't ...do, nuthin', er nuthin'... Ya know?"

"No sound like good date to Shampoo..."

"Oh, what da ya know, ya hussy?"

"Know Ranma say take Shampoo on trip!" Squeezing her eyes closed, she stuck her tongue out toward the hated woman.

"Oh? Like yer th' only one! Ah been on a trip with Ranchan! Ya ain't nuthin' special!"

"Is so!" Stepping back, she ran her hands down her sides to accentuate her figure. "Who say 'no' to body like this?"

"Ranchan sure seems ta manage!"

"When Shampoo with Ranma on date, be like fire hose, when turn on, be too too hot!"

"An' here AH thought ya were jus' twisted."

"No is one what pretend be boy..."

"Hey, there ain't nuthin' wrong with that!"

"Maybe is true, but person what live in glass house, no throw stone."

"Hey, what is going on here?" Hinako stepped into the room, coin in hand, clearly intending to stop the fight if it went too far.

"Oh, there you are Sensei, you are just in time for the show. Would you like some pop-corn?" Nodoka handed the small bag to the latecomer.

"Oooo, pop-corn!" Her coin quickly forgotten, she dug into the buttery treat, watching as the insults escalated.

"Give Pancake-Girl too too good massage? No think so..."

"Well, we stayed in bed all night, ya know?"

"But Shampoo do first..."

"Actually, it was Kasumi-chan who was first..." Nodoka thought maybe that might calm them down a bit to put them on an even footing.

Both of the verbal combatants felt as if the wind had been knocked out of their sails...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Thank you for letting me look around that gallery, I know you do not really enjoy them."

"Well, it ain't like I hate it, I just don't really get a lot a' it, ya know? But, if ya like it, then ...I guess, I don't really mind. It's nice ta see ya that happy."

"You do not think I am normally happy?"

"Oh yeah, ya almost always seem happy, but, I don't know, it's just when we're doin' stuff like this, ya just seem 'really' happy ...I don't know, in a different way, it seems. I know I ain't makin' no sense ...sorry."

"It is perfectly fine, you do not need to apologize ...Darling, I AM 'very' happy! Where would 'you' like to go next?"

"I don't know, ya want ta get a snack, er somethin'?"

Kasumi did not wish to ruin her dinner, but she knew there was no chance of Ranma doing that, and she was certainly not opposed to a cup of tea, her mouth was feeling awfully dry anyway, and perhaps it would help her settle the butterflies in her stomach. "If you wish, there is a cafe right here."

"Okay." Ranma almost regretted it the moment they walked through the door, and into the main room. He stopped dead in his tracks as his eyes took in all of the cute girls in maid uniforms, some skimpier than others, one of whom quickly hopped over to them with a warm greeting.

"Welcome back, Goshujin-sama, Ojou-sama!" The young woman bowed toward them, accentuating her ample cleavage, clearly focusing her attention a bit more toward Ranma. "A table for the young masters?" Her high pitched voice sounded like it was right out of an anime.

"Yes, thank you." Kasumi instinctively returned the bow, playing close attention to the young woman's mannerisms as they followed her to a table.

Once they had taken their seats, she pulled out a heart-shaped menu with a flourish. "It's time for the moe, moe, menu, nyaan!"

Kasumi felt Ranma almost flinch at the onomatopoeia, and looked up at the maid. "No cats, if you do not mind please..."

Completely undaunted, the waitress instantly shifted gears as if she were used to catering to anyone preferences. "Wan? No cats here, your loyal puppy will make sure of it! Wan! Wan!" With that, she began to explain each item on each page of the menu.

Ranma felt some relief that the rather thick menu was mostly pictures, and that there were no more than one or two items per page until they came to the drinks. All of the over-the-top pseudo-flirting was causing him to feel uncomfortable, and it was making it difficult actually pay attention to the actual menu. He looked over at Kasumi with pleading eyes, and shrugged his shoulders.

Kasumi had been enjoying the show, when she noticed Ranma's appeal for her aid, and she smiled back at him. She was happy to be of assistance, even if he should have been paying attention. "Oh my! What was that last item?"

"Wan? Our 'chibi-ccino'? A cute cup of cappuccino with a character of your choice ...Ojou-sama."

"Oooh, I have never tried one, is it good?"

"Of course! Wan never bring anything bad to our masters! Would Ojou-sama like wan?"

"Yes, please, we will get this set, and 'my' goshujin-sama would like this." She winked at their waitress as she pointed to the menu.

Deciding that Kasumi wanted to play maid, she took the order and went to the back. Before they had gotten over their shyness, several other young women, who were also dressed as maids, hurried over to their table and surrounded Kasumi. "Would you care to follow us, Ojou-sama?"

"Oh my... Shall I?" Seeing Ranma shrug, she looked at the trio and smiled as she got to her feet and followed them to the back room. If he was going to continue to pay so little attention, then perhaps she would tease him a little bit and next time he would show more interest.

Ranma wondered what they were doing, while at the same time being happy that he was not chosen. ...He was not proud of that fact, nor did he want to do anything about it. Everything about this place was embarrassing to him, he just did not see the appeal and the longer he sat there, the more he worried that someone would make him dress up in one of the uniforms. He might clean people homes, but he did NOT want to have to dress like a maid! He really hoped that was not what Kasumi had in mind, and was starting to wonder what he would do if she came back with a uniform.

Moments later, she did return, though it was clear the uniform she had was not for him, as she was wearing it herself, complete with bunny ears! "Ka- Kasumi-chan?"

Bending forward, she blew a kiss at him as she winked. "Yes, 'Shujin-sama?"

"What-? What're ya doin'?"

"Why, serving my master, of course!"

"But-..."

"Oh, hush. Do not be such a noisy master, be moe, moe happy, kyuuun!" She posed fetchingly with a wink. "Your food will be right out, Goshujin-sama."

"Wuh- Why're ya doin' this?"

"Because it is fun to serve you ...Go-shu-ji-n-sa-ma." Kasumi let out a charming giggle. "You look so cute when you get like that."

Ranma wanted to something about her little game, but froze when she called him 'cute', not knowing how to take it. "But, I-..."

"You are dressed so nicely, you should have your own personal maid." Kasumi leaned in even closer, whispering softly into his ear. "Just relax and play along, Ranma-sama, you do not want to hurt anyone's feelings, do you?"

"What? A' course not!"

"Then do as we do, it will be fun and if you are a good boy, Goshujin-sama will get a big reward."

Ranma raised an eyebrow as she winked at him, wondering what had gotten into her, though he supposed as long as she was happy, he would not argue. "Fine. What'd I gotta do?"

"For starters, you should be happy. You are the only boy in here, surrounded by lots of cute girls, in cute clothes. You should enjoy it while you can." She kissed him on the cheek as he started to protest.

"But, I-, I mean, it's not-, I'm not like-..." Ranma nervously glanced about, just waiting for something bad to happen.

She placed her hand on his arm, trying to reassure him. "Do not worry, I picked something I know you will love ...Goshujin-sama."

Her infectious smile made it difficult for him not to return it, and before he knew what was happening, a couple of the servers came out, each of them carrying a tray loaded down with various items. The first one placed a coffee cup before Kasumi, and asked her what character she wanted them to draw on her cappuccino. The young woman looked surprised when Kasumi said she wanted them to draw Ranma's face, she glanced at her partner for a moment, before turning back to them with a warm smile. A look of perplexed concentration came over the waitress as she took the bottle of chocolate in her hands, and began to draw, taking glances at an uncomfortable Ranma as she worked.

The other comely maid produced a large sundae decorated to look like a puppy's face. "Wan! Wan! Goshujin-shwama's ice-cweam is almost weaddy! We just need to cast the spwell! Are you weaddy?"

Glancing over, he saw Kasumi nodding at him and smiling. "Okay..."

"All wight! I will say the magic words, and you wepeat after me, okay?"

"Moe! Moe!" She made her hands into the shape of a heart, moving it around as she chanted.

Kasumi copied her hand gestures, and nodded to Ranma that he should do the same, while all four of them repeated her words. "Moe! Moe!"

"Furifuri!"

"Furifuri!"

"Shakashaka!"

"Shakashaka!"

"Piropiro!"

"Piropiro!"

"Dokidoki!"

"Dokidoki!"

"Fuwafuwa!"

"Fuwafuwa!"

"Pyonpyon, love-love beeeeeeam!"

"Pyonpyon, love-love beeeeeeam!" They circled their hands around, aiming straight for the dessert as they yelled out 'beam', finishing with a wink.

"There! Now, the 'moe moe' magic spell has been cast, and your food is weady to eat. Wan wan!"

The first maid had finished her work, turning the cup to face Kasumi, and it did look like a cartoonish version of Ranma's face, complete with his braid. "Oh my, you are very good!"

"Thank you very much, Ojou-sama! Do you need anything else?"

"What do you think, Ranma-sama, does it not look too good to eat?" They both looked at his sundae, with toasted marshmallows, candies, chocolate pieces, and other confections staring back at him adorably.

"In a way, I mean, everythin' here just looks so ...'cute'." The employees squealed at the 'praise' as Ranma wished he had been in his cursed form, it would have made all of this embarrassment easier to handle, but he had made a promise to his mother that he would do everything in his power to remain male for all of his dates. Shampoo had even made him use her special soap, so he could not change if he wanted to.

"Thank you, Goshujin-sama!" Both the maids and Kasumi all bowed, each considering themselves one of the 'things' there at the time of the complement. "Then we will leave you with this." They handed them each a long spoon for the dessert, and waved their heart-shaped wands, pressing a switch to make them light up, and chanting out another 'spell'. "Moe, moe, kyuuuuuuuun!" With that, they walked to the back, giggling to themselves.

Noticing the two spoons, Ranma glanced over toward his date, and tried his best to smile. "So, ya want ta try some?"

Looking up from the 'chibi-Ranma' in her cup, she returned his smile with a far more genuine one, picking up her spoon. "After you." She scooped a large spoonful, and held it out near his mouth with a grin.

He hesitated for a moment, glancing around, making certain that no one else was looking at him before accepting the bite. Blushing, he savored the taste of the sweet cream sliding down his throat, though he was loathe to admit it, he just LOVED ice cream, the fancier the better!

"I knew you would love that!"

"What? How? Did Shampoo tell you?"

"Tell me that you enjoyed sundaes? Of course not, I have always known that. You do not exactly hide it very well..."

Ranma's expression dropped, his features felt as if they were sliding off of his face. "I-..."

"Very little happens with my family that I do not notice." Realizing as she spoke that she had, in fact, missed at least one very important thing. "...Or so I thought. Oh my, I am sorry, here, have another bite!"

"Okay, but, please, don't tell nobody, okay?"

"Do not worry, anyone who tries to say you are not manly, simply for liking dessert, will have to answer to me! Now say 'aaah'."

"Uhhh..."

"Close enough!" With that, Kasumi popped her spoon into his mouth, giggling at the look of surprise in his eyes.

Recovering quickly, Ranma tried to distract her from embarrassing him. "Ain't ya gonna have none?"

Kasumi had briefly considered the idea of taking a bite, but the idea of the second-hand kiss caused her to remember the first-hand kiss they had shared earlier, and she was unable to continue the thought process. Instead, she decided to do what this training date is supposed to do, and teach him what was expected of him in these situations. "Well, you see, Goshujin-sama, we are on a date, and when you are on a date, sharing a frosty treat like this, you should be feeding your date as well ...okay?" She looked up tentatively, expecting him to reject her idea outright, not wanting to be seen doing something like that with her.

"I am? I'm sorry, nobody told me, I-... Here." He blushed furiously, but he moved for the spoon.

While still hesitant, Kasumi noticed the graceful way his nimble fingers twirled the long spoon before gathering a large scoop, containing a bit of each of the various flavors into one bite. "Oh my..." She had trouble opening her mouth wide enough to not make a mess, in fact she had not had to open her mouth that wide since... 'Oh my!'

"It's good, right?"

"Mmmhumm." She nodded enthusiastically, enjoying the act of being fed far more than she cared to admit, even more than the sundae itself. "Your turn." She gouged out another spoonful, hoping to rival the bite he had given her, and before she knew it, they had traded off enough mouthfuls to have finished the frozen treat.

"Oh, Goshujin-sama, you have a bit..." Reaching out, she wiped off a small bit of whipped cream off of his face and licked it off of her finger.

"Uh, thanks?" He instinctively rubbed the slightly sticky spot, but Kasumi took one of the wetnaps and wiped him off.

"There you are my master, you are all clean."

Ranma gave her a deadpanned expression, surprised that she was keeping up the act. "Yer not tired a' that?"

She continued to smile as she winked at him. "Not particularly, it is rather entertaining."

"Ya supposed ta be my maid, er my date?"

"Is there a rule that says that you can not date your maid?"

"I don't know, I think so, but I guess that depends..."

"Upon what does it depend?"

"I don't know, I guess who it is, ya know..."

"If it is on an individual basis, then what do you think in this particular case?"

"Ya want ta know, I like it better when yer not my maid, an' just my ...um, well, ya know...?"

"Know what?"

"Ya know, my, um ...'date'!"

"Do you not care for me being your maid then?" Kasumi was more than a bit disappointed, having wanted to stay serve him in recompense for what her family owed him.

"Not really, I don't like th' idea a' ya bein' anybody's servant, ya deserve better 'en that."

"I do not believe that I would particularly mind, if it were you for whom I served, Go-shu-ji-n-sa-ma."

"Aw, ya shouldn't talk like that..."

"Just indulge me a bit longer, please?"

"I promised Ma 'I'd do what ya said', an' I told ya I'd play along, but next time, I'm gonna pay ya back."

There was a hint of an evil glint in his eye, but Kasumi was uncertain what he meant. Did he mean that he wanted to go to a butler or host club with her for dinner, or was he asking her out on another date? She found it difficult to believe that he would want to date her if he was not being forced, so she assumed he meant the former, he certainly could not have wanted to be HER maid! "Will you now?"

"Ranma Saotome always wins in the end!"

Kasumi's eyebrows rose, but before she was able to question what he meant, the maids came back over to their table. they pulled her aside for a moment, before coming back over to direct Ranma over to a specially decorated corner. "Please, Goshujin-sama, stand right here, and Ojou-sama, you pose next to your master. Now, smile!"

Before Ranma realized it, Kasumi had leaned in closely to have their photo taken, and the three maids who had served them, gathered around, for a second, group picture. "Everyone say, 'Goshujin-sama'!"

"Goshujin-sama!" All three of the employees posed cutely, making various hand signs, along with Ranma and Kasumi, who had not yet moved. After being rushed back to their table, 'their maids' brought over another smaller tray, though they could not see what was on it.

"Goshujin-sama, Ojou-sama, we would like to present you with your Executive Membership cards, which entitle you to return without the cover charge, as well as other special offers." The one with twin-tails handed them each a golden card, with their names on them. "Please, ask for any of us by name, and we will be happy to serve you any time!"

The one with the ponytail stepped forward, presenting two other cards with a bow. The first opened to reveal the photograph of all five of them, and signed by the three maids, which they handed to Kasumi. The other, they opened to show they image of Ranma and Kasumi together, and it said, 'To Ranma-sama, your devoted maid, Kasumi', as well as having hearts drawn around it, and they handed this one to Ranma. "We hope that you have enjoyed your visit, and that Goshujin-sama and Ojou-sama will return to us soon."

The third maid, with much shorter hair, bowed. "Is there anything else that we may do for you?"

"You do not know anything interesting happening around here today, do you?"

"Would a concert in Nabeshima Shoto park count, Ojou-sama?"

"I believe that would be lovely, thank you."

"You are very welcome, Ojou-sama, it is near the Shoto branch Shibuya fire station, and starts later this evening. Before we help you change back, our boss wanted us to ask if you would like a job?"

"Oh my, as fun as that would be, I do have a job now, and I do not think that I would feel comfortable, properly serving anyone ...else."

The young woman winked at her. "I understand, I wish I could find a boyfriend that nice!"

"Oh no, we are not, I mean, technically we ARE, but it is not, exactly... Oh my..." Kasumi blushed brightly, looking like her face might explode.

"No need to worry, we are all here to support you. We think you make an adorable couple!"

"Oh my..."

"That is, unless you want to pass the master over to us, we will take good care of you, Goshujin-sama..."

"NO! ...I mean, that is for Ranma-sama to decide..."

Ranma was far beyond uncomfortable, he did not care for that sort of attention, and was well passed wanting to leave. "If I gotta have a maid, then ...Kasumi Tendo, I choose you."

"Oh my..." Kasumi blushed as he pointed her direction.

"We are maids, not pocket monsters!" The ponytailed young woman, playfully stuck her tongue out with a wink. "But I will let you 'catch' me."

"Besides, you can have as many maids as you can afford..." The twin-tailed woman smiled fetchingly.

"...Also have room to house and protect." The shorter-haired maid added, wanting to make certain he understood that a live-in maid required more than simply a paycheck. "If you want your maid to care for you, you must care for your maid."

"Yes, Goshujin-sama, please care for me ...until we leave the cafe." Kasumi smiled at her date, hoping to lighten the mood.

"Hey, ya know I'll always be there if ya need me, just like in China."

"Aaaawww... That's SO sweet!" The maids all swooned in unison.

"Please, wait here for a moment, allow me to go change." Ranma simply watched, but said nothing. "Is that all right, Goshujin-sama?"

"What? Ya don't need my permission ta do nuthin'."

"Any good servant, requires their master's authorization to do 'anything'."

"But, I ain't."

"For as long as you are here, 'you are the master, and the servants are we'." The winsome young woman grinned at him enticingly.

"So you must grant your maid permission to leave your side."

"Huh? Oh fine, sure, do what ya gotta do." Ranma could not help but to follow her with his eyes as she hurried to the changing room, despite his best intentions.

"Oh my, my, my... Our master has a good eye." One of the three maids who had remained, tried to distract him, hoping to keep him from growing bored as he waited.

"Pay attention to us instead, Goshujin-sama!"

"Would you like us to sing for you?"

"No extra charge."

"Here is one from one of our favorite Idol groups."

"Yappappa, yappappa, ii shan ten. Hashagu, koi wa, ike no koi. Yappappa, yappappa, ii shan ten. Mune no, tai wa, dakare tai..."

Ranma tried to tune out the familiar song, but the happy harmony of the melodious maids held his attention, and to their pleasant surprise, he joined them part way through. During the second song, twin-tails caught him up in her arms, and began to lead him in a dance.

"No fair!"

"I want to dance with Goshujin-sama too!"

Kasumi returned after they had finished a few songs, each of them taking a turn showing him how well they could dance and sing. "Aw now, Goshujin-sama, it is not polite to dance with other women when you are on a date with one."

"Uh, sorry, it ain't like it was my idea..."

"We are sorry, we were trying to keep your master busy while you changed." The maid with the ponytail had a playful expression, as she twirled her hair around her finger.

"Your master sure is a cute one!"

"How DID you know that song so well?"

Ranma chuckled to himself. "How could I not?"

"Which song was that, Darling?"

"Aw, ya know, one a' them image songs we did, off a' that first album."

"Wait, that YOU did?"

"What do you mean?"

"That's off a' one a' our albums, yeah."

"WHAT?" The trio yelled out in shock.

Ranma had to cover his ears as the squeals erupted from the three maids, half expecting to see glass starting to shatter around him.

"That is one of our favorite albums!"

"We have ALL of them!"

"Leave it to Goshujin-sama to manage our favorite idols!"

Ranma shrunk back, know where this was likely to go. "Actually, I am 'not' the manager..."

"You sing too?"

The pair had to cover their ears as the young women squealed again.

"Would, would you both, maybe, sign-my-CD?" The twin-tailed maid bowed deeply, while holding out her album insert and a pen.

"Huh? Sure..." As Ranma started to reach out for the pen, the short-haired maid asked another question.

"Actually, can we take another picture, for the restaurant? One that we may hang on the wall."

"I guess so... Here, Kasumi-chan, ya should sign it too."

"Me? Oh my..."

"What-? You-? TWO-? AHHHHhhhhh...!" After handing the pen and pamphlet to Kasumi, Ranma rushed to catch the twin-tailed maid before she hit the ground.

"Goshujin-sama, you are not allowed to touch the maids in a maid cafe..." The ponytailed woman grinned as she took her friend out of Ranma's arms.

"I'm sorry, I just-..." As he started to protest, she waved him off.

"Don't worry, it's fine, we understand. Besides, you can touch ME anytime, Goshujin-sama!"

"YUNA-CHAN!" The serious young woman flushed in embarrassment at her coworker's actions.

"Oh stop, Nina-chan, you told me what you wanted to do with Goshujin-sama earli-..."

"YUNA! I told you that in confidence!" Her embarrassment changed to outrage almost instantly.

"Then hush. Go get the other camera while I try to wake Mina-chan."

"You better..."

"Just hurry, Goshujin-sama is waiting!"

"YES!" The previously embarrassed maid, returned to her serious self as she ran to the back, though a slight blush remained in her cheeks.

Yuna had propped her friend up in one of the booths, and was lightly slapping her face. "Mina-chan, Mina-chan, wake up, you are going to miss it!"

Ranma and Kasumi were both surprised that someone felt that way about their albums, they had never really given them much thought, having recorded them rather quickly, and left Nabiki to handle the rest. They assumed they have to have done kind of well, since she had gotten them to record several other albums, but it had never occurred to either of them that they could have 'fans'! They remained silent, lost in thought until Nina had returned with the camera, and a fourth woman.

They started off taking a few photographs of Ranma and Kasumi together, then finished off the roll with a number of shots with each of the waitresses, both individually and as a group. Kasumi remained a bit shy about the whole thing, and while Ranma was also embarrassed, he could not help but enjoy the non-stop positive attention. So far, not only had no one gotten angry at him, only one person had gotten smacked, and not only was it not in anger, but he was not the one hit! It was mind boggling to him that so many women could be so nice to him, without anyone getting upset. It had been strange enough lately, with his new living arrangement, particularly their SLEEPING arrangements, but even then, Shampoo and Ukyo would bicker, or shoot glances at each other, but this was just completely surreal to him.

Kasumi did not like anyone making a fuss over her, but it warmed her heart to have been able to make these young women so happy, and the look on Ranma's face was worth every moment. She could tell that the change in environment was good for him, and that he was relaxing around women, almost enjoying himself. She considered their suggestion about a band in the park, and thought perhaps she could get Ranma to dance again while he was in this mood, it might help him further overcome him shyness. As she thought about dancing, she remembered the way it felt to be in his arms as they moved about the dance floor and blushed.

"Yes! Perfect, just like that!"

Kasumi handed over the disposable camera she had purchased earlier that day, and asked if the woman would mind taking one for her as well, to which she was more than happy to oblige.

"Say 'cheese'!"

As she stood there, arms wrapped around one of his, head on his shoulder, she had no idea what had come over her, but she reacted without thinking, and kissed Ranma on the cheek, just as the picture was taken. "Oh my..."

"What?"

Not certain what else to say, Kasumi whispered the first excuse that came to mind into his ear. "I told you that I would give you a special reward if you played along, and you have made me very happy. Thank you very much, Dana-sama, you were a very good boy."

"HUSBAND?" The three maids stared at the pair, their mouths agape.

"Oh my, um no, not actually. It is just a little game we play."

"I want to play! What are the rules?"

"The rules are, that 'I' pretend to be Ranma-sama's wife, for ...practice." Kasumi blushed furiously as she said the last word.

"Goshujin-sama can practice being my husband any time!"

"I wouldn't mind a little 'bridal training' myself..."

"You too, Mina-chan?"

"Well, you know what they say, 'practice makes perfect'!"

"Oh come on Nina, you know you want to 'play' too!"

"Sorry girls, for today, Goshujin-sama is all mine!"

"Only for today?"

"I am off work tomorrow!"

"You sound desperate."

"I am!"

"It shows..."

"Hey, do you know the last time I went on 'good' date?"

"Oh, like you ever shut-up about it!"

"Sorry again, but tomorrow is also taken, you will need to stand in line."

"Okay, I will take a number, as long as you take MY number!"

"YUNA-CHAN!"

"What? Like you don't want-..."

"Don't leave us out! Take our numbers too!"

"What?" Ranma was stunned as the three young women handed him their business cards, with little noes in the back of each one, and a phone number written below them.

Kasumi was happy for Ranma, but for some reason, she was getting tired of watching them fawn over him, though she could not for the life of her figure out why it bothered her. "I believe it is time for us to go, or we might be late to our next stop..."

"Huh, where're we goin' next?" For an answer, Kasumi just squeezed his hand slightly, before turning to the maids.

"How much do we owe you?"

"Don't be silly, we could never charge YOU!"

"That is not right, please, where is our bill?"

"Sorry Ojou-sama, we already paid for that ourselves."

"But, you should not do-..."

"We insist, you made our day, and Mini-chan's whole month! All we ask is that you sign this, so that we can hang it up with your picture, okay?"

"Certainly!" Kasumi signed the paper, with Ranma reluctantly following suit, before linking arms with him again.

"Come back and see us again soon, Goshujin-sama!"

"If you need help with your 'master', call us any time, Ojou-sama!"

"Thank you all very much!" Kasumi bowed and hinted that Ranma should as well. After which, she tugged on his hand and practically ran from the small cafe.

"Kasumi-chan, what's wrong?" Suddenly, he felt a dark presence behind them.

"What's wrong, is ya took such a beautiful woman ta such a creepy little place, ya freak!" The gravely voice slurred out his unwelcome answer.

Ranma quickly turned, placing himself between Kasumi and the large man and his comrades. "What da ya want?"

Completely ignoring Ranma, he focused his attention on Kasumi. "Ya should be with a real man, not a little otaku weirdo!"

"My darling IS a real man and 'I' chose the cafe ...it is cute, and I like the girls who work there."

"But, I-..." Not used to any women going into a maid-cafe willingly, the punk was at a loss for words.

"Now, I am sorry that you fellows are having troubling finding a nice girl, but it is not polite to try to hit on girls who are already on a happy date!" Kasumi looked down at them, as a mother would while reprimanding a small child.

The small gang saw something in her eyes that they could not defy, and they suddenly bowed deeply, almost groveling. "We're sorry, it won't happen again!"

Turning to walk away, Ranma kept glancing over at Kasumi, giving her strange looks. "What is wrong? Do I have something on my face?"

"Nah, but that was pretty good."

"What was?"

"Yer use a' ki back there."

"What do you mean?"

"Ya used yer aura ta make those losers back down, a lot like yer pops does."

"I did? You mean they did not see the error of their ways?"

"Oh they DID! Just not th' way ya thought, I guess. Ya did great, I'm really impressed."

"Oh my... I did not mean-..."

"Hold on, I got an idea."

When Ranma scooped her back into his arms, her heart skipped a beat, and when he leaped into the air, it started to flutter and she buried her face in his chest. "Oh my..."

"Don't worry, I got ya."

She felt an extra wave of warmth emanating off of him, and somehow it made her feel safe, despite being over a kilometer in the air with nothing supporting them. Within a moment, they were safely on one of the flat roofs, hidden from view. Even once he had landed softly, she clung to his chest, enjoying his warmth, and taking in his scent. "Mmmmmmm..."

"We're here, yer safe, ya can let go now."

Kasumi let out a long, breathy sigh. "If I must."

"Somethin' wrong?"

"Oh no, I am fine, this is simply too comfortable, I am sorry, Darling." Kasumi slowly got to her feet, trying to ignore her own selfish disappointment. It was not fair to him for her to feel this way, it was obvious to her that she was troubling him with her inexplicable actions. She needed to get a hold of herself, never could she remember ever feeling as strange as she had of late. She hoped that Shampoo would finally be able to get a confession out of him soon, then she would no longer have to deal with these troublesome complications. She was further concerned that such thoughts brought more pain than relief.

"Ya all right?"

"Please, forgive me, I am fine..."

"Yer not ...I thought ya said ya weren't really afraid a' heights."

"Oh, no ...no more than anyone else anyway."

"'Kay, just a sec." Ranma quickly cleaned off a spot on the roof before pulling a large towel out of his pocket, and laid it out flat. "There ya go, sit here so ya don't get dirty."

"Thank you, but ...why-?"

"Hey, ya never know when yer gonna need a towel, even strags know they're amazin'ly useful."

"Yes, but-..." As she was interrupted, she had to wonder what a 'strag' was.

"Just sit here, and close your eyes."

"Okay..." As she took her seat, she felt Ranma's hands on her shoulders, his fingers lightly rubbing, and causing her to feel warm inside. "Mmmmm..."

"I know ya been able ta feel auras, but ya seem ta have trouble actually seein' 'em sometimes, so I thought we could train fer a bit..."

Kasumi was more than a bit disappointed that this was about training, and she did not wish to discourage him while he was getting more comfortable around her. More than that, it felt too nice, she simply did not want him to stop touching her. "Okay, Oshou-sama..."

"What?"

"That is what Father calls Grandfather, is that not what one calls one's teacher in the art?"

"Well, yeah, I guess, but ya ain't gotta call me nuthin' special, 'Ranma's fine."

"But, Ranma-sama, it is to honor you as my instructor, one should always show respect to their superiors."

"But, yer th' older one, I should be-..."

Kasumi's tone was calm, but it was clear that she was not to be rebuked. "Anata, you should never tell a woman they are 'old'..."

"No, I didn't mean it like that... Ya ain't old! Yer young ...a- a- an' beautiful!"

"No I am not, and I will always be older than you."

"Well, I mean, yeah, but I don't care, an' ya ain't gotta be... not if ya really don't want ta be." Kasumi looked at him as if he had just sprouted a third eye. "Don't ya remember, those mushrooms? It ain't easy ta grow one tall enough, but if ya ain't desperate ta do it quickly, ya could stay any age ya want. Plus, I got ya all those black eggs, so I'll bet yer gonna stay young an' pretty f'rever."

"Aw Dana-sama..." Kasumi blushed, while wriggling in her 'seat'. "That was so sweet of you to say, untrue, but sweet."

"A' course it's true! ...I ain't lyin'!"

"I did not say-..."

"Ya were gonna..."

"But-..."

"This ain't productive, an' ya ain't gonna change my mind. Now, let's get down ta business."

"Bu-, business? Wh- what do you have in mind?" She had completely forgotten about training, and was wondering if he wanted to make-out, and how she wanted to allow him to do it...

"Just relax, okay?"

"Okay..." With his fingers kneading the muscles in her shoulders and back she really had little choice in the matter. A warmth radiated off of him and enveloped her entire body, making her feel as though she were sunning herself on a warm afternoon. She just wanted to lean back into him, and simply enjoy the moment.

"If I get what th' old ghoul's tryin' ta say, since ki's th' force a' life, th' better ya get at usin' it, th' longer ya gonna live too."

She was a bit disenchanted when the conversation went back to her ki training, but when he scooted in closer behind her, and directed her to lean back, she was only too delighted to obey.

"Remember, just relax, an' try ta memorize what yer feelin', okay?"

She had been trying to do that anyway as she felt his firm chest pressing against her back and his heated breath on her ear. She felt flushed as his fingers moved up to massage her temples, and the toasty sensation expanded. She felt so snug and safe, she almost did not notice when she felt a tingling sensation behind her eyes. She wanted to rub them, but it was so deep, that she did not think she could reach it.

"Can, ya feel that?" She nodded slightly, not wanting to ruin the moment by speaking aloud. "Okay, now turn around, an' open yer eyes."

It took her a moment to comply, not wanting to break the connection with him, but as she rotated her body, she felt his arms uncross as they stayed in place upon her temples. When she finally opened her eyes, she almost thought she was hallucinating, the colors were so bright and vivid she thought they were in an anime, and not a normal one, but an extra vibrant, almost kaleidoscopic cartoon! Additionally, it was more than simply that colors were more intense, but waves of colors radiated off of everything yet none of that compared to what was right in front of her. "Oh my... Ra- Ra- Ranma-sama ...is that, 'your' aura ...it is beautiful!"

"Yeah, it's a bit out, 'cause a' what we're doin', but yers got some really pretty colors too."

"Does it?"

"Yeah, it takes a bit more ta see yer own. Now, just relax, an' try ta hold on ta that feelin' ya got, okay? Ya got it?"

"Okay..." The moment his fingers left her temples, the colors dulled, and his aura shrunk dramatically. As she looked around the world slowly came back into focus, though she could still see a faint glow on almost every living thing. She turned back toward Ranma and noticed how much brighter he was than everything else in her view. "Oh my..."

"Ya think ya can remember that feelin', an' do it again on yer own?" His crooked smile filled her with a certainty that was not her own, but she managed to muster enough confidence to nod. "Good, try ta keep it up as long as ya can."

"Is, is that how you see the world ...all of the time?"

"Uh, kind a', yeah ...I mean I can tune it out, er whatever, but it's handy, ya know?"

"Really, why?"

"Well, um, once ya get used ta it, ya can tell more 'en just who's comin' by seein', rather 'en just feelin', like what kind a' mood their in, an' stuff." Kasumi could not help but giggle. "What? What's so funny?"

"If you can read people's moods, then why did you always have so much trouble reading Akane-chan?"

"It ain't that I couldn't tell, I just could almost never get why, ya know? 'Sides, it ain't like knowin' Akane's mad gonna help me none."

"No, I suppose you are somewhat correct, if you do not understand why someone is mad, you cannot very well fix it."

"When I tried ta say somethin', I always said th' wrong thing... I ain't no good at that stuff, ya know?"

"Yes, Anata, I know, however that is why we are doing all of this, to help you get better at 'that stuff'." Her affectionate smile calmed him enough that he barely reacted to her touching the side of his cheek.

"Wha- what're ya doin'?"

"Nothing ...did you WANT me to do something?"

"What? NO! A' course not! ...Just, ya know..."

"No, 'what'?"

"Just ...keep practicin', 'til ya can do it without tryin'. Once ya feel comfortable with it, we can move ta th' next level."

Kasumi blushed, knowing that he did not mean it the way it sounded, she could not resist playing with him. "Oh my, is that what you have planned, A-na-ta?" She could never bring herself to tease any other boy like that, but she felt so safe with Ranma, she knew that she had nothing to fear, and felt only the briefest embarrassment.

"Um ...yeah?"

"Oh my, you are such a 'beast'." She winked at him, and pulled him into a hug. "You really do know how to show a girl a good time."

"Hey, um, why's yer aura lookin' like Shampoo's? Ya teasin' me er somethin'?"

"Perhaps. Or perhaps this is part of your training. In a real date, if you are this close to a woman, certain things are to be expected."

Ranma was unable to back away with her arms around him, even if the edge of the roof had not been close, if he moved, she would have stayed attached, something that also strangely reminded him of Shampoo. He had to wonder if they had been spending a bit too much time together... "What kind a' things?"

"Oh you know, things like earlier." She reached up and kissed him on the cheek again, enjoying the way he blushed in response.

"Uh..." Ranma stiffed, afraid to react in any way.

"Darling, now it is your turn."

"WHAT?"

"You should kiss me ...unless you think that I am too old, ugly, or something else."

"No, I don't, but I-..."

"Just a quick one, exactly as I did. Chuuuuu..." Kasumi cracked open her eye, to see that he had not moved, obvious indecision weighing on his features. "It is not polite to keep a girl waiting. Do not be afraid Anata, I would never hurt you."

"I ain't scared!"

"I believe you, but I am concerned that you need a lot of practice anyway. That is why we are here, after all."

"Yeah, but-..."

"It is not so difficult, I have done it now, I know a big strong boy like you can do it too."

"I-.. I-..."

Kasumi's sweet voice gained a bit harsher tone, which on anyone else, may not have even been noticeable. "No more excuses! This is training. I thought the great Ranma Saotome could do anything having to do with the art?"

"How-...?"

"Kissing is an art, ask anyone, so is dating, and even conversations in general. This is Kasumi Tendo's Anything Goes School of Dating, and you are my only student. Now practice your new technique!"

"Yes, Sensei!" Ranma stared into the beautiful face looking back up at him, trying to work up the courage to follow through with the command. "Are ya sure ya want me ta...?"

"Most women want a man who is going to take charge and give them what they want without having to keep asking."

"Ya mean, like that jerk, Mikado?"

Oh my, no, not like that! You need to make certain that the girl wants you to do it."

"So, I should ask first?"

"Oh my, no, do not do that, girls do not like it when you cannot read the mood!"

"But, how...?

"Should you not be able to tell by their aura?"

"I don't know, maybe, but I don't really know what ta look for..."

"I am sorry Darling, I may not be the best teacher for this, I have not had a lot of experience either. Perhaps I could try to want one, and you could see what I look like?"

"Can ya do that? Ya can't really fool yer aura, though ya can hide it."

"I can certainly try, I suppose..." She tried to convince herself that she was only doing this for him, and no other reason... It was not easy.

"Yer kind a' lookin' like Shampoo again..."

"Then perhaps it is working, I would guess that Shampoo-chan is wanting to be affectionate with you much of the time, from what I have heard."

"Heard?"

Kasumi blushed out of guilt. "I am sorry, we talk sometimes..."

"Uh... Do I want ta know?"

"Most likely, no. Though that is beside the point at the moment. You are supposed to be doing something now, are you not? I do not wish to keep my eyes closed forever."

"I guess, I mean, I'm sorry, I was, ya know, but..."

"Remember, it is just practice. You do not need to worry, I will not stop you, no matter what you do. Just relax, and follow through with your promise."

"Promise?"

"You told your mother you would do whatever we asked, did you not?"

"Well, yeah ...I mean 'no', but, I mean, I will ...I am. I-..."

"I am waiting, A-na-ta..."

"Are ya sure?"

"Certainly, you do not have to think of it as a real kiss, it is only me."

"...Ta be honest, that kind makes it harder."

"So you DO think I am too old or frumpy..."

"NO! It ain't like that!"

"Then why am I not good enough for practicing?"

"I told ya, 'it ain't like that'! If anythin', yer TOO good fer a freak like me!"

"Oh, Ranma! You are NOT a 'freak', you are an amazing young man, and you deserve to be happy!"

"Do I?"

"Of course!"

"Ya don't know, I bet ya'd say that ta anyone."

"No ...not 'anyone'."

"Really?"

She could see the surprise in his eyes, questioning her sincerity. "Is that so difficult to believe?"

"Kind a'. Okay, so, just between us, name one."

"What?"

"Tell me someone you do not think deserves to be happy."

"Oh my..."

"I bet ya can't, yer too nice."

"I just do not like to talk about people like that..."

"You do not have to say anything about them, I just gotta know who could bother ya that much. Is it someone I know?"

"Yes... but I do not think I should say, you might get upset..."

"Why, it is me?

"I told you, it was not!"

"Then tell me! Please?"

"...Other than myself, I would say your father."

"Why would you EVER say that?" Ranma almost jump up, in outrage, had Kasumi not still been clinging to him.

"I am terribly sorry, I just do not think your father is a good man for one example, not after all of the things you had to endure because of that man!"

"No, I ain't gonna argue with ya on that, Pops' done some terrible things, an' made ME do some terrible things ...before I knew what I was doin', but that don't make it right, but what'd YA do, ta ANYONE?"

"Many things, I have thought terrible things about people, I have wished for bad things to happen to some people, but worst of all, I pushed you and Akane together, without considering how either of you felt about it. As the eldest, it was my duty to take the engagement, but I was scared, and I did an awful thing to you both."

"I done told ya, that weren't yer fault, our pops're ta blame fer that!"

"But, I did not even notice when you were being abused, thinking that you were doing something to deserve it. It was terrible of me. If I had not thought so little of you at first, we could have all been happy."

Ranma had to strain to hear her, as her already quiet voice faded in shame. "Hey, who wouldn't be freaked out at a panda showin' up an' bein' told ya gotta marry some girl? It'd freak me out if the opposite happened, I don't even know why anyone'd wanna marry me. It still freaks me out when I see it happen."

"It is strange, but people can grow accustomed to just about anything, and many women, like myself, do not care what you look like, it is what is inside that matters, and in your heart, you are a very kind man. I know Shampoo loves you no matter what you look like as well, I am sure most of us feel the same way."

"I don't know, th' idea a' datin' a guy grosses me out, I don't know how any girl could want ta be with a guy that turns inta a girl."

"Well, some people do not mind getting friendly with others of their same gender, but that is not really important here. It is not the same thing anyway, you are not REALLY a girl, we know the real you, and that is what matters."

"It really don't bother ya no more?"

"No, I do not care what you look like, you will always be the same sweet, caring young man to me. It is as you said, that curse, does not change who you are as a person." Kasumi wished that she could help relax him more, but sometimes she could not find the right words.

"But, ain't this somethin' ya should only do with someone ya really 'like'?"

"You do not like me?"

"A' course I like ya!"

"Oh my...?"

"I meant ya, not me. Shouldn't ya be doin' this with someone ya, ya know ...'like'?"

"I am."

"But, I mean, we're not even engaged, er nuthin'."

"Oh my, you do not need to be engaged to someone to kiss them! We are on a date, and I told you that it was okay, I will allow you to kiss me as much as you want. ...Oh my, for practice, I mean!" It took a moment, but Kasumi managed to calm herself, focusing her remaining attention back on Ranma.

"Yeah, I suppose, but ain't this yer first kiss, er somethin'?"

"Of course not! Do you not remember? We kissed earlier today ...and back in Hakone."

"Well, yeah, I mean 'no', but-..." Ranma felt as though he ought to be panicking, but he no longer wanted to run.

"How long are you going to keep stalling, Da-na-sa-ma?"

"I- I- I-..."

"This is not a very attractive way to act, women do not like it when you act timidly. You need to be bold, decisive, take charge ...go ahead and kiss me!"

"I mean, if ya don't mind, then I guess..."

"Do not worry, it will be our little secret." As he started to lean forward, Kasumi closed her eyes again in anticipation. She felt his aura expand and the warm comfort that accompanied it, making her just want to melt into his arms. It was a discouraging blend of satisfaction and irritation as she waited to see what he would do. 'Oh Ranma, Ranma, Ranma, you are such a late bloomer.'

Ranma hesitated, trying to work up his courage, wishing that he had an easier task, such as fighting a monster. Her beautiful face was highlighted by her glowing aura, as he studied them both. Her features he knew well, though the light application of make-up did change her appearance somewhat. Her aura on the other hand, was a swirling mix with traits that reminded him not only of herself, but also Shampoo and Akane, which was not helping him remain pacified. He tried closing his own eyes, but that only made sensing those traits in her aura stronger. As he tried to ignore her whirling aura, he was taken aback by the look of longing on her vibrant visage.

Kasumi was beginning to grow a bit impatient, cracking one of her eyes open again just in time to see his head rapidly approaching hers, and it took all of her willpower not to flinch. Before she knew it, his lips were pressed against hers, and she closed her eyes again as she tried to guide him. She had expected him to only kiss her cheek at most, so she had not been prepared for this much more intimate embrace.

It was a long, awkward first moment, as their clumsy lips touched, but as her surprise and annoyance faded, her soothing aura enveloped them both, intermingling with Ranma's powerful, yet timid one, helping them ease their nervousness. For her part, Kasumi was emboldened by his energetic aura blending with her own, and proceeded to pull him back, being aggressive, while still allowing him to feel like the dominant party. "Oh my..."

Whether it was one kiss, or many smaller ones strung together, they were not certain, nor could they tell how long they have been there. She had no idea at what point her lips had drifted apart and her tongue had slid into his mouth, but she did not regret it, and her hand on the back on his head prevented his potential escape. By the time they had regained awareness of their surroundings, the sun had fallen almost below the horizon, causing the sky to turn a bright pink.

Ranma gasped for breath, barely able to believe what he had just done, though while he was still somewhat concerned at what the reaction to it might be, there was one thought that he could not get out of his head. "That was WAY better than with that Mikado guy! Iz'at what kissing is supposed ta be like?"

"Yes, Go-shu-ji-n-sa-ma, when it is at its best..." Kasumi swooned as she still felt him pressed against her.

"Oh my...?" They both giggled at Ranma's unconscious mimicry, before Kasumi kissed him on the cheek again.

"We should probably should keep that between us, even if it might make your mother happy, we would not wish to upset your girlfriends."

"Yeah, but-..."

"Not to worry, as I told you, I would still be happy to ...'practice' with you again ...anytime you would like." Kasumi was embarrassed at her own boldness.

"No, I mean, I don't get it, so I am SUPPOSED ta do that on dates?"

"If you are with the correct person, then yes, it is perfectly normal. You will hurt the girl's feelings if they wish to do such things with you, and you refuse them."

"But, I-..."

"I know, you poor thing, but this is how affection is shown in a normal relationship. No one needs to hurt anyone, neither emotionally, nor physically, we can simply have fun together."

"Well, I mean, I guess, it wasn't bad."

Kasumi thought he should have won the understatement of the year award, and decided to give him the 'award' in the form of another kiss, this time on the lips. "Is that all, just 'not bad'?"

"Well, I mean, ya know?"

"What, do, I, know?" She playfully punctuated each word with a kiss, not planning on giving him a moment's peace until he answered the question.

"Okay, okay, it was amazing, really! I ain't got words fer how good it seemed. Does that make me a pervert?"

"No, it makes you a normal, healthy, young man. What about me, do you think that I am a pervert?"

"NO! A' course not! I don't know anyone less perverted than YOU!"

"I am not so certain of that, but I liked it too, so if you are a pervert for enjoying it, then I guess I am as well, okay?"

"I guess, but-..."

"All close couples who like each other want to do these things. Sometimes they are shy, afraid of rejection, and we generally hide it in public, but everyone wants to snuggle with someone they love."

"But-..."

Afraid of what his next question might be, she decided to try putting this conversation on hold with a distraction. "It is starting to get late, would you like to, maybe, eat something good?"

"I could always eat something good, ya know that!"

"Oh my..." Kasumi was about to make a suggestion, when he rolled over, keeping her in his arms and tucking his large towel into his smaller pocket, before clutching her to his chest and jumping off of the building!

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OMAKE 14

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Three maids gathered around the oven as smoke billowed out from within, and the sides began to bulge. "I wonder if it's done..."

"Yuna! What do you think?" Nina walked over, grabbing the handle on the oven. As she pulled on it, the door seemed to be stuck, and it took the three of them pulling on it to get it to open, Mina having tumbled across the room, and out through the door in the process.

Looking inside, they see a perfectly golden brown souffle. Yuna got a toothpick and poked it, wanting to make certain that it was done. Seeing her pick come out clean, she smiled, until it started to collapse.

"Now look what you did, you deflated it!" Smacking Yuna on the forehead, Nina reached into the oven to pull out the pastry only to realize that she did get get any hot-mitts, and was burning her hands as she moved it to the table. "OH! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh oh oh..." As she blew on her hands, Yuna pulled herself off of the floor, and examined the 'cake'.

"Hey, we'd better blow it up again!"

"Yeah, get the gas line."

Disconnecting the hose from the oven, Yuna put it in her mouth.

"Not you, you idiot, the CAKE! Give me that! I'll personally kill you later." Grabbing the tubing, Mina walked over to the dessert. "Where did you make that hole? Oh here it is." After popping the hose into the hole, she have Yuna the order to turn on the gas as they watched it reinflate.

Mina came back in, saw what they were doing, and had to ask, "Hey, what's taking so long? The people are waiting!"

"Turn it off!"

As Yuna turned off the gas, Mina pulled out a tire-gage, and put it up to the hole. "Yup, two-hundred and forty kilopascals, it's perfect!"

"What if someone wants a second helping?"

"You're right, turn the gas back on!" Two of them watched as i t grew even larger. "That's enough! Now let's plug it up."

After blocking the hole, Mina started to decorate the dessert. Unfortunatally, her frosting applicator clogged, and when she finally cleared the blockage, the contents flew across the kitchen, and all over Nina's face. "Oh no... Ooopsie!"

"'Ooopsie'?" Running her hand over her face, she came away with a handful of frosting. Walking over, she calmly wiped her hands on Mina's face, finishing the job on her skirt, before laughing.

"Oh yeah? Wise gal, eh? Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck!" Aiming her frosting tube, she fired planning to get revenge, only to see Nina move at the last minute, and hit Yuna instead.

"HEY! So that's how it is!" Reaching into the nearest table, Yuna pulled out a hand full of cherries, and started throwing them at Mina.

Just as the food fight is starting to get going, the doors burst open, and the floor-manager entered, shocked by the mess in the room. "What are you three doing? We have guests waiting!" Throwing her hands down in frustration, she took the souffle, leveling a hard gash and the terrible trio. "I'll take this out, you ...clean up this mess!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

The explosion was heard for several kilometers, and took out several nearby buildings.

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[This version of the maids was based on the Three Stooges, and is not indicative of the girls' actual skills.] ;p

Also, no characters were harmed during this omake, and all of the stunts were done by professionals, please don't try this at home.

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Now that Ranma has initiated his first kiss, how will that affect the rest of his dates? Find out next time when we bring you, 'A Kiss to Build a Dream on', or 'Look Who's Kissing Now'!


	44. Chapter 44

Warning: Throwing your mouse at your siblings is not acceptable behavior. I have been told that hitting them with the keyboard is fine, but don't quote me on that.

Chapter 44 - Moonlight Sin-atas

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As they walked around, Kasumi searched for the address she had received, and finally found it. The Hayate Combat-Butler Cafe, unfortunately required a reservation to get a table, ruining her plan to help Ranma get his 'retribution' against her for the Maid Cafe earlier that day. Though, having been asked for reservations reminded her that on the list of 'suggestions' from Nodoka, she had made some for them, and one of them was for dinner!

The paper said that it was a place called 'Ouran's Professional Host Club' which sounded almost the same as a butler cafe to Kasumi, so she decided that it was close enough! When they arrived, it was much fancier than the last restaurant they visited, so she smiled. "This looks nice. Will this place work for your 'revenge'?"

"Huh? It's like ya said, whatever ya say goes, yer th' boss." Ranma feigned emasculation as he allowed her to lead the way.

Taking that to mean that she has assumed correctly, she led him inside where they were welcomed by their affable host, who was dressed in a fine yukata, though stood almost a head shorter than either of them, and had short brown hair and eyes. "Welcome to Ouran, do you have a preferred host?"

"Not exactly, though we do have an appointment under the name 'Saotome'..."

At the mention of the name, the mood of the Maitre d grew far more relaxed. "Oh, did you say, 'Saotome', as in THAT Saotome?"

"What'd ya mean? I'm Ranma Saotome..."

"REALLY?" The surprise in tone was obvious to everyone as heads started to poke out from various parts of the building. "Have you seen your mother?"

"Yeah, that's who made th' reservations..."

"I will have to tell Kyoya-senpai that Honey-senpai won their bet..."

"What kind a' bet?"

"Never mind that..." The host did not want to tell him that one of their employees was betting that he was likely dead or worse. "You are just as handsome as we heard, your mother must be very proud."

"I guess..."

"Oh I am certain, Saotome-sama used to talk endlessly about you, hoping you would return, and you look pretty 'manly' to me." The flirtatious nature of the host's mannerisms put Ranma a bit on edge, even if they were rather effeminate for a guy, though something about that did not 'feel right' to him.

"Yes, Mother is quite proud."

"Oh, is this your sister? Your mother never mentioned having a daughter."

"Uh, no, it's my ...um, 'date'." He blushed again, as he did every time he thought about the very idea of someone like Kasumi going out with him, even if it was just 'training'.

"And a fine date it is, you make a very handsome couple! So, what sort of special services would you like from your host this evening?"

Kasumi stepped forward, wanting to make certain that Ranma had his chance. "Well, to be honest, my 'date', would like to try being my host, do you have anyone who could show my Ranma-chan the ropes?"

"We have the perfect person. If you will follow me..."

"Wait, what?" This was the first Ranma had heard of that, but if that was what she wanted him to do...

"You seemed upset at me for playing your maid, so I thought this was how you wanted to 'get back at me'."

"You are helping me to 'get my revenge' against you?"

Kasumi smiled at him warmly. "If it will make you happy, then of course I would help you!"

"But-..." This was not what Ranma had in mind, in fact he had almost completely forgotten about it after what they had done on the roof, but she seemed so earnest, he was unable to find the words to tell her that she had it wrong... He thought that perhaps if he could make her feel silly, she might not try to be his servant again, at least not in public anyway. "I, I mean, 'yes, my lady'!" He winked at her, to which she responded with a warm smile.

"Tamaki-senpai, we have a 'special' guest for you."

A very tall, blond man came dancing out to greet them. "What may I do for you lovely ...ladies?" He stopped dead in his tracks as his eyes rested on Ranma.

"Tamaki-senpai, this is Saotome-sama's long, lost son, and date."

"Nodoka-chan's, really? How wonderful!"

"Saotome-sama would like to learn the basics of hosting. Would you care to do the honors?"

"Who better to show someone the ropes than the prince of Ouran?"

Ranma whispered to their Maitre d', "Is that guy always like that?"

"Yeah, pretty much, but you will not find anyone better at the job. Tamaki-senpai has a seventy percent request rate. ...I can't say I understand it personally."

"Ugh. At least it's only for a bit..."

"Heh, looks like Saotome-sama's son is even better than I thought! I don't blame you, I'm only doing this because I still owe them money for a vase I broke in high school."

"Must have been one heck of a vase!"

"You could say that, I only have a couple million yen left to pay off and then I am SO out of here!"

"Good luck."

"Thanks, you too. Don't let Tamaki-senpai weird you out too much..."

They followed the taller young man, while Ranma mentally comparing him to Tatewaki, Mikado, and several other unpleasant individuals, none of which were flattering. He glanced over at Kasumi, thinking about everything she had done for him lately, and worried that he would never be able to repay her. He took in the gaudiness of their surroundings, unable to understand how anyone could want to be around such opulence.

His mind continued to wonder as they walked into a smaller room where several other young men were sitting, Tamaki looked Ranma over, and walked around him a number of times. "Yes, yes. I can certainly see the resemblance. From what your mother has told me, I think I have a fairly good idea of what we need to do. For starters, you must learn to be a gentleman, and please the ladies ...like me."

"I just don't think all that's needed fer that..." The shock around the room was palatable. "Who cares about all that clothes, hair, manners, looks, and stuff anyway? It's what's inside that matters, right?"

"This guy's just like Haruhi!"

Kasumi swooned, happy to see that he did not care about those superficial things, though she had to admit, she would be happier if he would dress more nicely like he did that night more often, and spoke more politely, but some things were more important. Kasumi had to admit to herself, that a part of her wished she had someone with whom she could do these sorts of things with for real, and she might try looking again, once Ranma got his life together, but she had doubts that she could ever meet anyone who could live up to her now even higher story-book standards. On the other hand, glancing around the room, she noticed that there were quite a number of handsome men here, so it might be a good place to start looking once she was ready.

"Would one of you be so kind as to show this fine lady to a table? Which of these elegant gentlemen is to your tastes?"

"Oh my, I do not wish to put anyone out..."

"Oh no my dear, that is what we do here, it is our pleasure to pamper you in every way."

"Oh... Oh my..."

"Mori-senpai, I believe this one is yours. Why don't you show our guest to a room, and start with the first bottle on the house, in honor of our dear Saotome-sama's reunion!"

After watching the tallest of their members lead Kasumi out of the room, Tamaki turned his attention back toward Ranma. "I understand how you must feel, even if everyone is not as blessed as I am, you must console yourself, and live on. Even one such as you, can learn skills that will make up for your obvious lack of breeding."

"Watch it..." No matter how much he wanted to show Kasumi a good time, there was a limit on the number of insults he was willing to take.

"Now, now, it is okay, you are not bad, simply not perfection, such as moi. Look at it this way and ask yourself why is it that they put works of art into museums? Because beauty should be shared with the world! That is why we opened this host club, for people who are starved for beauty! We work unsparingly, day and night, to bring that beauty to those who need it."

Ranma resisted the urge to pummel the pompous fellow as more images of guys he REALLY did not like flashed through his mind.

"With your looks, you could do well, your outfit is not terrible, that hair could use some work though... Now, you may consider them 'needless skills', but as long as I have the opportunity I will share a portion of my expertise with the common folks like you."

Gritting his teeth, Ranma mentally reminded himself that this was for Kasumi, also it would probably upset both her and his mother if he beat this guy to a pulp.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi had only intended to order some simple green tea, however the incredibly tall young man had quietly insisted that she try another drink to which they were treating her, and she was unable to bring herself to refuse. It did not taste badly at all, and it filled her with a warmth not entirely unlike being close to Ranma. Her host filled her glass the moment she emptied it, as well as matching her drink for drink, so she started sipping it slowly, vaguely remembering pieces of a time not terribly long ago in which she had over-done it, and did not care to repeat the experience.

Her server did not speak much, many would call him a 'good listener', which left her filling the silence with anything that came to mind. When she had asked his name, he simply told her that almost everyone called him 'Mori', and that she was welcome to use it as well. He was incredibly tall and dark, with the top buttons of his shirt unbuttoned, unlike the other boys who were wearing ties. At first, she was a bit uncomfortable with the imposing man, but once she looked into his dark gray eyes, she could tell that deep down, he was a kind and gentle soul.

She found it odd that she was willing speak so freely about things she normally would not tell anyone, but she was finding it difficult to help herself, sometimes she was not even certain what she was saying, as if she barely understood the words coming out of her own mouth. She had talked about personal things, family matters, dreams, and her wishes for her friends' futures. After refilling their glasses again, her companion asked one of his few, seemingly simple questions, that led to far more complex answers.

"But what do you want for your own future?" He filled their cups as he looked deep into her blue-gray eyes.

"Oh, oh my, I-, other than to keep helping them, I have not really thought about it overly much."

"It sounds as if you love this boy very much." His eyes smiled at her as she spoke.

"What? No, I mean, I 'do', but, it is just that we, I owe Ranma-sama so much, and then there is Sha-..." She paused for a moment to take another sip from her tiny cup. "And I just want everyone to be happy!"

An eyebrow went up on his stoic face. "Are you not also part of 'everyone'?"

"I will be happy, as long as they are." Finishing her drink, she looked into his calm eyes, with a small fire kindling in her own. "Another round?"

"Certainly, my lady." Just as he was about to pour their wine, the door opened and Tamaki entered the room, with a frustrated Ranma following closely behind.

"Behold!" The blonde boy spun on his heel, got to one knee, and extended a rose toward Ranma who reluctantly took it. "Your true host ...is here!" Ranma stood there uncomfortably, flower in his hand, his hair loose and flowing in the light breeze from the air conditioner. He looked even more handsome than her father ever had during his younger days in the pictures she had seen, she could not look away, she barely blinked.

Glancing up and seeing Kasumi across the small room, a glimmer returned to his eyes, and with smirk on his lips, it seemed as if he sparkled in the low lighting when he bowed to her. "Good evening, Ojou-sama, sorry about th' wait."

"Ooooh my..."

"I believe that means, your lady friend thinks that it was worth the wait. Do you believe me now? You just need to think 'beautiful thoughts' and the women will flock to you!"

"That's just what I need..." Ranma glowered for a moment, worried that he might actually end up with MORE women chasing after him!

"It is every boy's dream!" A shower of sparkles seemed to stream from him as Tamaki smiled and bowed.

"They ain't lived it."

"Some of us have, but that is not what matters right now, you have the most important woman in the world right here. Remember, the one you are with, is 'always' the most important to you ...at least at the time. Whatever you feel, it is your job to make them feel like they are. That is what we do here, we create an illusion, when you are in this building, you are the most important person in the world to us."

"So ya lie ta people."

"Not at all, it is no lie if it is true!"

"But yer fakin' it."

"No, no, no, half-hearted feelings like that would never reach anyone! To a host, your clients are your world! You have it easier, to a boyfriend, you only have to worry about your date, someone you should already care very much about. Now, get in there and show this lady what you have learned. You may go now, Mori-senpai, Honey-senpai is in the break room."

The quiet lad nodded in acknowledgment before turning back to whisper to Kasumi. "You should consider telling that boy the truth."

Kasumi blushed profusely, shaking her head. "I have no idea what you are talking about!"

"As you wish, my lady. Let me know if you need to talk again." With a bow, he turned to leave.

"Thank you, very much."

"You are most welcome."

"Here is your chance, Saotome-sama, pour this fine young lady a drink."

Walking over with a grin and a bow, he filled Kasumi's cup with the skill that comes from growing up with a drunk for a father. "Here you are, Ojou-sama, if it pleases you."

"Where is yours?"

"What?" Ranma flinched as his short-term senpai prompted him.

"A good host always matches their clients, drink for drink ...even if you need to do 'things' to stay functional."

"But, I'm not-..."

"This is part of your job, besides being better able to relate to your lady, you work on commissions."

Realizing what Ranma meant, Kasumi wanted to aid her 'anata' in his dilemma. "Shouldn't it be tea or something?"

"It is not very strong anyway."

"Fine, fine..." It was not as if it was his first time drinking, he had gotten into his father's stash a number of times, especially in China, where it was legal for him.

Kasumi looked at him inquisitively, wondering what he was going to do as Tamaki produced another of the small cups for him to fill. "Now, sorry about the interruption, please, as you were. Forget I am even here."

As instructed, Ranma matched his 'client' as Kasumi returned to sipping at her cup. "So, what were ya doin' before I got back?"

"Oh my, we were simply talking as we waited for you to return, Darling."

"What about?" Ranma did his best to show a genuine interest as his curiosity piqued.

"Lots of things." She let out a small giggle, suddenly feeling like a schoolgirl. "What would YOU like to talk about?"

Remembering what the obnoxious man had taught him, he smiled gently while taking her hand in his and gazed deeply into her eyes. "You, of course, Ojou-sama."

She giggled again at his faux sincerity. In spite of having heard them talking about how this was all make-believe, and even carefully calculated, Kasumi found herself wanting to fall for the act. "You never were very good at fibbing, were you?"

"But, I'm not ...not really, but I do kind a' want ta know what ya were talkin' 'bout."

"Do you REALLY want to know?" She glanced over with a wink and a grin. As he hesitantly nodded, she reached out, brushing the tip of his nose with her finger. "You."

"ME? What? Why? What'd I do?" Ranma's self-defense mechanism panicking was prevented by a sharp clap from Tamaki in the background. "I am sorry, Ojou-sama, but did I do somethin' ta offend?"

"Not at all, I was merely telling Mori-san about what a kind and talented young man you are, and how much I appreciate you being in my life."

"But I-, I mean, I didn't do nuthin' special..."

She took his hands in hers and looked up into his eyes. "You have done plenty, and yet, you continue to do more every day."

Ranma had come in here with the intentions of embarrassing Kasumi, but she had successfully flipped the tables on him and he was blushing, desperate to change the subject. This was not the same role as a 'butler' and harder to do without embarrassing himself in the process. Thinking back to what he had learned, he regained his composure, and called upon his non-existent acting skills. "But all I have done is pour you a drink, Ojou-sama. Are you ready for another, or perhaps you are ready for your meal?"

"I suppose that I am. What would you recommend?"

"Uh..." Not having read the menu, Ranma was not certain what to suggest.

Tamaki saw the dificulty and stepped in to cover the hole in his training. "Do not worry, I shall take care of everything." With a flourish, he bowed before turning to leave the room.

"Is that really th' kind a' guy girls like?"

"Some women do, certainly."

"What about you?" Ranma thought he found a place to needle her, and got a slight sly grin on his face.

Letting out a sigh, she looked away from the door and back to her 'date'. "I suppose, at one time I might have. I think most girls want a prince to take them away at some point in their lives, but it was a childish fantasy, and I grew-up. Now, my tastes are ...a bit different."

"Turned off 'princes' now? Heh. Good, guys like that make me sick."

"Why, what is wrong, Anata, do you not think they are charming?"

"Nah, guys that think they're better 'en everyone else, an' can do anythin' they want with any girl, like they're toys, er they owe it ta 'em, er somethin' ...jerks like that just make me mad. It ain't right ta treat other people that way, ya know?"

"Yes, I know, and while you are correct, most girls like some elements of it. Pampering is okay, toying with their feelings and treating them as objects is not. Do you understand?"

"I think so... but it's hard ta think that stuff, and not see those jerks."

"You do not have to do any of this, your girlfriends like you just the way you are."

"But, this ain't fer them ...this is fer you." He turned a fetching smile her way, quickly refilling her cup.

"Oh my..."

Before Ranma could respond, the door opened and Tamaki came in with a small tray, setting it down before them. "Here is something with which to start. You take one of these strawberries, dip it in the melted chocolate, and then feed it to your partner. Have fun, I shall return shortly."

"So, ya want one?" Seeing her lightly nod, he carefully rolled the fruit in the pool of chocolate, giving it a nice coating before offering it to Kasumi, while trying not to drip. "For your pleasure, Ojou-sama."

"Aaah..." Biting through the chocolate coating, the ripe fruit filled her mouth and a bit of sweet juice dripped from the corner of her lips. Her tongue darted out to lick the mess before she gobbled the rest of the berry, licking his fingers in the process. "Mmmmmmm... So good."

Ranma was unable to tear his eyes away as she licked the chocolate and juice off of her lips. Moments after she swallowed, he quickly dipped another, somewhat embarrassed by being distracted.

She considered refusing for a moment, but found herself unable to resist, telling herself that she did not want it to go to waste. "Mmmmmm... Now, it is your turn." She dipped one of the strawberries, and held it out for him.

"But, I'm supposed ta be feedin' ya."

"It seems that is one of the differences between a butler and a host, but either way, I am the mistress, and if I wish to feed my servant, then that is my right, is it not?"

"Fine." Ranma made a mental note as he grimaced, at least her argument held more water than 'it is different when a girl looks at a boy'! Reluctantly, he allowed her to feed him, being used to large bites, he popped the whole thing into his mouth, smiling as the flavor slowly hit him.

It felt as though electricity went through her body, starting from the point of contact between her fingers and his tongue, reminding her of when he had licked her in other places. She had to mentally chide herself for thinking of such 'inappropriate' thoughts as she tried to tune out the feelings and focus on something else. Her smile turned into a grin, as it registered that he had also enjoyed it. "There, was that so bad?"

"No, it was good, but it's yer turn now."

They took turns until they ran out of berries, only to have Tamaki to come replace their tray with another, this one with raw oysters, ready to be slurped. This was followed by sea urchin, unagi with shiitake mushrooms and asparagus, finishing it off with a bowl of yamaimo, smeared over noodles. As they were finishing off the last dish, he returned again.

"I hope you enjoyed your meal, I am sorry that our fugu chef is off today."

"Oh no, that is not necessary, this was more than lovely! Please give your current chef our gratitude."

"Thank you, we are humbled by your praise. Was everything else to your liking?"

"Oh my, yes, you have an exquisite place here."

"Thank you, we opened it after high school, I could not stand to part from my treasured friends, and this way we were able to continue our happy days until we grow too old to enjoy it any longer."

"Well, I wish you the best of luck."

"And we, you." Tamaki smiled and bowed to the pair with a flourish.

Kasumi looked around, and lowered her voice to a whisper. "Um, where do I go to pay?"

"Another club. ...For tonight is on us, in honor of your mother's good fortune. Tell Saotome-sama, that we are all thrilled that you are together again!"

Kasumi tried to wave him off. "No, we could not allow you to do that, I know this was not a cheap meal..."

"No, no, I insist. It is a small price, compared to the happiness of a mother and son reunited! Now please, you two go and have a wonderful evening!"

Haruhi walked up to Tamaki as he waved to Ranma and Kasumi leaving. "Do you think the rest of their date night well go well?"

"With that many aphrodisiac foods in their meal, how could it go any other way?"

"You are an evil person, Senpai."

"You wound me, Haruhi-chan! I am only trying to help young love blossom!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Whoa, ya okay?" Ranma caught Kasumi by the arm as she started to stumble.

"Yes, thank you. I am not certain what came over me, I seem to be having a tiny bit of trouble with my footing. I might have had a bit too much to drink."

"Should we stop and rest?"

"No, I am fine, just, if you do not mind, let me keep a hold of your arm."

"Huh? Sure. But tell me if ya need ta rest, er if ya need anythin'."

"I could use some water but we are almost there, I am certain there will be a drinking fountain when we get there."

"Do ya want me ta-..."

"No, no thank you. Let us just enjoy a slow walk, all right?" Still hanging onto his arm, she rested her head on his shoulder. "Is this not nice?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Ya sure yer feelin' okay?" Ranma tried turn his head to look at her in concern, only to get a face full of hair. He started to stumble himself, but managed to prevent either of them from falling.

"Yes, Darling, I am fine, are you?"

Ranma let out a nervous chuckle as they resumed walking, for some reason, he was finding that the feeling of her soft body clutching his arm was far more 'distracting' than usual. "Yeah, just lost sight a' where I was goin'. I won't look away again, sorry."

"It is fine, do not worry. So, what did you think?"

"It was pretty good, not as good as yers a' course, but better 'en I expected. I guess th' eel was the best part."

"Oh... Oh my, I did not mean-... I-... You cannot mean that!" Considering what she thought of the food, she found that difficult to believe.

"Ya know I do, I told ya, yer food's th' best in th' world, an' ya keep gettin' better all th' time."

"I suppose..." She considered that she had been learning a lot from Shampoo and Nodoka recently, not to mention that she DID try to get ideas whenever she would go somewhere that served tasty food.

"Don't sell yerself short, if ya opened a restaurant, I'd bet th' whole country'd come eat. Ya'd make a fortune!"

"Oh my... That is sweet of you to say, but I have no interest in anything like that. I do not really need much money, I am happy just cooking for my family and our friends."

"But, ya gotta think about yer future. Ain't that what everyone's always tellin' me?

"Oh, but I am. But, what about you, what did you think about it? Working as a host, I mean."

An older, somewhat drunk woman stumbled over to them, unable to look them in the face. "Oh, your companion ish a hosht? Where do you work, I'd LOVE to vishit you too. Do you have a card?"

"Huh? No, I don't do that any more, sorry." Ranma's deceptive yet honest seemed to satisfy the disappointed woman.

"That'sh too bad, Honey, I'd make sure ta extra shpeshial shervish you all night."

"That's all right, thank ya anyway, but we're kind a' in a hurry."

"Well, here, take MY number, an' call me if your free! ...er even if you want ta charge me, I don't mind!"

"Yeah, sorry, gotta run, my WIFE here needs some water."

"Oh, I'm shorry. I'm sho embarrasshed, I mishundershtood. Pleash, excushe me."

They hurried ahead, turning the corner and getting out of the other woman's sight when Kasumi tugged on his sleeve. "Ranma-sama?"

"I'm sorry, ya were still usin' the 'play' names when we were alone, so I thought ya wouldn't mind doin' that..."

"No, it is just, 'thank you' ...Anata."

"Huh, fer what?"

"For complementing my cooking, for standing up for me with that woman, for always helping me and my family, and most of all, thank you for just being you." She snuggled closer to his arm, enjoying the feeling of closeness as they came to an intersection and the light changed. The increased heat radiating off of him as he blushed was all of a response she needed to know how he felt. As soon as they crossed the street, he led them over to the drinking fountain near the restrooms. "And thank you for this as well. You are always so kind to me."

They took turns drinking from the fountain as they noticed the music coming from the other side of the park. "Ya sure yer okay, ya don't need ta..." He blushed as he nodded toward the lavatories.

"Oh no, I am fine, just a little dehydrated, I suppose. What about you, how are you doing?"

"Oh, ya ain't gotta worry 'bout me, I'm okay. What ya want ta do next then?"

"Well, if it is all right with you, I was thinking that it would be nice if we stayed here and listened to the music."

"Ya don't want ta get closer?"

"Perhaps a bit, but it might be too crowded if we get too close." They walked in relative silence, with Kasumi still holding onto his arm, in part for balance. Approaching the small pond, the music got louder, and Kasumi could not help but sway in time with the beat. She giggled as she bumped Ranma's hip, but instantly regretted it, when he almost tripped into someone else. There were more and more people, the closer they got to the water. The trees around the pond were thick enough to prevent seeing where the band was playing on the other side, however there were enough people to make them both feel a bit self-conscious.

Feeling her fidgeting, Ranma noticed she was glancing around, looking at all of the other people attending the free concert in the park. "Ya sure ya want ta stay here, ya ain't lookin' so good?"

"I wanted to get a little closer, so we could hear a bit better, but there are just so many people..." For some reason, she was feeling selfish, and while she knew it was impossible, she wished that everyone else would leave, so she could enjoy this moment alone with Ranma.

"Hang on, I got an idea."

She lightly gasped as he gently lifted her into his arms, but held her breath when he leapt almost straight into the air, not releasing it until they had gently landed on the tiny island in the pond. While her wish was somewhat fulfilled, she felt rather 'naughty' for ignoring the 'Keep Out' signs surrounding the turtle pond. Luckily, it was dark enough that few people even noticed them between the flora, and her inhibitions quickly evaporated. "So, Darling, would you like to dance?"

While far from his first choice, he saw the hopeful look on her face, and could not refuse. "As ya wish, Ojou-sama..."

"Oh my..." Kasumi blushed as he took her hand, pulling her into his arms as he emulated their first evening dancing. At first they simply rocked with the music, but before long, they were taking steps in an improvised dance. After several songs, following Ranma's much more confident lead, Kasumi noticed something she found rather strange. "Anata, is it just me, or are we dancing upon the water's surface?"

"No, it ain't just ya, it's really happenin'."

"But ...how?" Kasumi's grip upon his arms tightened along with her concern that if she found out the truth or let go of Ranma, she would fall into the water.

"Don't ya remember, back when th' old ghoul first got here, an' we fought at th' beach? Well, they taught me how ta do it th' other day."

"Oh my! Shampoo-chan told me about having a special plan, but did not say what it was. That was certainly nice of them, was it not?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I think it'll be pretty handy, I've been workin' on other ways ta use it."

"Oh? What do you have in mind?"

"Well, like this." They stopped dancing, and started to 'bounce' upon the water, with the surface stretching, instead of breaking, and behaving much more like a trampoline, than a pond. Kasumi grew nervous as each rebound caused them to sink further below the water level, until they touched the bottom of the shallow pool. As Ranma felt her grip tightening on him again, 'springy' water grew firm once again, and it felt to her as if they were on solid ground. "Also, I figure if I can get good enough at this, I can keep from gettin' wet, even when I get splashed ...at least if I'm usin' th' technique right."

"That is amazing!"

"Well, I ain't got it ta work yet, it's kind like th' opposite way a' doin' it, but I think it'll work. I just gotta figure out a way ta work it into my aura, instead a' usin' th' water directly. It ain't a cure, but it's th' next best thing."

"Wow! I am SO happy for you! That is wonderful news! Do you think that you could teach this version to Shampoo-chan as well?" Kasumi thought it would be marvelous if he no longer had to worry about her curse, and she no longer needed to worry about buying more of that water-proof soap.

"I suppose if I get it ta work, that'd be the right thing ta do, huh?"

"I believe that it is, you made a good decision, I am proud of you." She leaned closer, and kissed him on the cheek, grinning at the way he blushed. A surprised as she was at her boldness, him hesitantly holding her close and pressing his lips against her completely knocked the wind out of her sails.

Voices were starting to be heard over the music occasionally, as if they were directed at them. "Hey, look at that!"

"Do you think it's part of the show?"

"It'd have to be, do you think?"

"It says 'keep out'."

"It's not like anyone could really do that, they had to set it up ahead of time!"

"Ya think they mean us?"

"Oh my... Maybe we should, you know...?"

"As ya wish." With a grin, he held her in his arms again, springing high into the air, with hardly a splash. Some of the people left behind searched for how the effect had been accomplished, never to find a clue, though rumors spread through the underground about how the band had managed to pull off the illusion, many speculating that it was some new hologram technology.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"I do hope that you do not mind going with me to look around those stores, we do not have anything like it near the house."

"Nah, it's fine. I mean, I don't really get a lot a' it, but it's nice ta see ya that happy."

"I am always happy."

"Yeah, I know, but like I said before, ya seem a different kind a' happy lately, especially when we're hangin' out together like this. I don't know, is that weird?"

"Do you think?"

"It shows in yer aura an' stuff, it's brighter than ever."

"Oh my, I, I do not think I know what you mean..."

"I dun'know, just sayin', it's nice ta see. Whatever ya been doin' lately, seems ta be agreein' with ya."

"Oh my, I-..." Aside from her normal activities, her training' with his mother and these dates came to mind, causing her to turn away in embarrassment.

"Did ya start a new workout or somehin'?"

"You know I have." She poked him in the side with a giggle.

Ranma chuckled, in embarrassment. "Oh yeah... Well, that's what makes me that happy, I don't exactly know about you."

"That is easy, helping others is what makes me the happiest!" There was something about her thought process that did not feel exactly right to her, though she could not put her finger on it. However, when she tried to think of anything that might make her happier, she kept getting distracted by images of Ranma, so unable to think of another example, she stuck with her strongest held beliefs.

"That's nice a' ya, I'm glad ya found somethin' too."

"Yes, we all need something for which to live."

"Yeah, I guess so. Hey, ya want ta check out another shop, er somethin'?"

"It appears that most are closing down, even out here."

"That late already? Time's sure goin' fast, huh?"

"Unfortunately, according to your mother's paper, we still have some time yet before we will be able to check into our hotel room."

"Yeah, it was like that with th' one Shampoo picked too. I guess people stay out late downtown."

"It does seem odd, not like that ryokan at all."

"Yeah, that one Shampoo picked was nice, but really different from the ryokan, it was all modern-like, and compact."

"Well, I suppose that is okay, though there is something to be said for a more traditional style."

"Yeah, that ryokan was way more relaxing, especially th' hot spring!"

"Oh my!" Kasumi remembered the two of them soaking together in that large spring, there was just something that felt so different about that night, compared to their usual baths. "That was indeed, a very nice bath!"

"Yeah, we have ta go back one day, am I right?"

"A-, A-, Anata, are you asking me to go with you?"

"Why not? If ya want ta go."

"Oh my... I-, I think that I might like that very much." Blushing, she hid her face in Ranma's chest.

"Ya okay?"

"I could not be better. You have been a magnificent date this evening."

Ranma nervously rubbed the back of his neck with his free arm. "Uh, thanks? It's been fun."

Kasumi glanced around, wanting to make certain that there was no one else around them before kissing him on the lips. She did not care for the idea of doing such things in public, but was finding it difficult to resist the urge for some reason. Even having such yearnings in the first place was still a rather surprising thing to her, so she had very little experience keeping them in check, and that had gotten much more difficult this evening.

"Ka- Kasumi-chan! Wha- what'd ya do that for?" It had taken everything he had to resist simply melting into her arms right in the middle of the street.

"Advanced dating lesson! ...You know, to use up our remaining time. You do not have a problem with it, do you?" Seeing him nervously shaking his head, she pulled him back into one of the darkened alleys, trying to stay as far out of sight as possible. "This is what you do on dates, particularly when you are with someone you really like, such as your pretend spouse."

"Are ya sure ya want ta-...?"

"Yes, you need to get used to doing things like this and more, if you ever plan to be a good husband, 'Dana-sama'." 'So do you, Kasumi!' A small voice in the back of her head tried to bring up a point, only to be told it was none of her business, and that was NOT why she was doing this at all!

"Well... but, I mean... It is just that-... amurrrmmm." Having her acting so aggressively was having an affect on him, and one that was quite different from his usual one.

Something in her did not want to listen to his protests any longer, and she decided to cut him off before he broke her nerve. Electricity shot through her as their lips touched, far stronger than with any of Nodoka's 'toys', and she had to wonder if it was the same with anyone else, or if Ranma was just particularly good at this, as he was at so many others things. She was tempted to test that theory, however she was a bit afraid to find out the results of such a test. In many ways, Ranma had been her first real kiss, and perhaps that was coloring her perspective, but whatever it was, for that moment in time, she did not want to do anything that might ruin it.

He had been following her lead, even mimicking the way she was rubbing his sides and back, making her wonder how far he would take it as he slowly grew bolder. For a while she had massaged his hip, once he had followed suit, she playfully reached around behind him, surprising herself that she was willing to rub his posterior. Her curiosity was soon answered as he continued to copy her, just like learning a kata. Kasumi's brain was threatening to shut down on her as his digits kneaded her soft flesh, and her fingers traced lines on his chest, no longer thinking at all as he mirrored her actions, occasionally flicking one of her nipples through the thin material of her outfit.

Almost an hour had passed without them being interrupted, not that either of them would have taken notice if someone had tried. It was not until an alley cat decided to give them a midnight serenade that they realized that they had again, gotten lost in their 'practice'. Kasumi had been embarrassed by the idea of what they had been doing, but was given no time to think about it, as Ranma started to panic.

"Ca- ca- cat!"

Before she had realized it, she was in his arms, and some distance away from where they had been. "Oh my, are you all right?"

Breathing heavily, Ranma started to relax. "I am now. ...Sorry 'bout that."

"Oh, no, it is not your fault!"

"Yeah, it kind a' was..."

"No, that was all ...your 'father's fault, not yours." Patting him on the head, she valiantly resisted the urge to continue their necking, when she realized what time it was. "Oh my, we should go to our hotel now, the big, bad kitties cannot get you there." Compromising with her desires, she nibbled on his earlobe before getting to her feet, and leading the way.

As they walked, a voice in her mind told her that she was being very naughty, while another voice argued that it was purely for educational purposes, and nothing else! The first voice pointed out that she was clearly enjoying it, but the second countered by reminding herself that learning was SUPPOSED to be fun, and she had quite a bit to learn about this topic as well! Her mental 'discussion' continued on until they finally arrived at a very colorful building with many lights and signs.

"Ya sure yer okay, ya lookin' kind a' ...uncomfortable."

"No, no, I am fine, just ...thinking, about a few things, nothing to get excited about!"

Even Ranma could recognize her somewhat nervous laughter, but chose to politely ignore it. "If ya say so..."

"What kind of room do you think it will be?"

Another soon-to-be occupant, was passing them by and spoke in a low tone. "You get to pick your room's theme, but you should hurry, on the weekends, all of the fun rooms go pretty fast!"

"Oh, what would you recommend?"

"It all depends on what you like, I am going for the stuffed animals room!"

The creepy grin on the man's face made Kasumi want to take a step back, waiting until he was a few steps away before following him into the building. They stood back, watching the lone man from a distance as he chose his room from the list of what was available before getting his key. After the man left, there were only a dozen or so rooms left. The first one she noticed was a 'Hello Kitty' room, and while her excitement over being able to see a cute room went up, she decided that Ranma would not appreciate that particular decor. Several others sounded rather unpleasant, one of which saying something about tentacles! She was not exactly certain what that meant, but she had no particular interest in cooking squid or octopus that evening, they had 'other' things yet to finish.

"Ooooo, this one says something about a 'pony'! Do you think it has a ranch theme, or a cartoon one?" Seeing Ranma simply shrug, she made her decision, a boy with the character for 'horse' in his name, should get the 'horsy' room! Their room selected, the attendant raised an eyebrow at her, but said nothing before handing over their key. "Are you a regular?"

"Oh my, no."

"Would you like to be?" The older woman grinned as she looked over her glasses.

"Oh my... I-, I-, I don't-..."

"Do not worry, we won't tell anyone. Here is your membership card. Each time you visit, you will get a stamp on the card, and you can earn special services and discounts. Your first visit, you get five percent off, and if you use it upon returning, we give you fifteen percent off. You cannot leave the room until you check out, if you need anything, it can be brought to you. The attendant will knock once when they arrive, and a second time when they leave, so that you are free to get your items out of the cubbyhole without anyone seeing you. The room you have chosen includes several 'costumes' that you may use at your ...leisure. The vending machines in your room will automatically be charged to your bill, so you do not need to worry about change, but if you require anything more complicated, just call down to the desk. Do you need anything else at present?"

"N-, n-, nO, thank you!"

"The elevator is just down that hall and to the left. Have fun you two!" The old woman waved as the shy pair walked away.

As they got into the elevator, their nerves started to calm. "This one's really different than th' last one..."

"Oh? I would not know, this is my first time in one of these places." She was still finding it rather difficult to believe that she was entering the place as it was, not that she was starting to realize exactly what kind of place it was.

"From what I've been hearing, everyone uses 'em on dates now days..." At least if Shampoo and his mother were to be believed.

"Oh my... Is that so?" Even if some people thought she had rather 'old-fashioned' ideals, she still found that hard to swallow.

"That's what everyone's been tellin' me this week anyway."

"Oh..." Kasumi could not believe that so many people were doing such things before marriage. She was starting to think that perhaps she might have her priorities a bit outdated. If she had no intention of marrying anyone anyway, she might wish to consider rethinking her priorities, she was certainly enjoying what they had done so far.

"Ain't this th' one?"

Shaken out of her introspection, she came to a stop at the door. "Oh yes, I suppose it is, thank you. I seem to have been lost in thought."

"Oh? What ya thinkin' 'bout?"

Kasumi blushed from head to toe, fumbling with the key and almost dropping it. "Oh my, I, I was just wondering what I wanted to do ...with my life."

"Any ideas?"

"One- ah, I mean ...'not exactly', no."

"Ya want ta talk about it?"

"Well, let me ask you something. No matter who you choose to marry ...will you allow me to continue to 'work' for you?"

"I guess so." He figured they could always use help cleaning, as long as they kept cleaning apartments.

"Oh, oh my, thank you!" Finally getting the key in the lock, she leaned over to kiss Ranma's cheek again. She had finally gotten him to agree to letting her be his maid, she could not be happier! The future was full of hope!

Opening the door, the room stunned them both as then entered, with the door locking behind them.

"Oh my..." Even after switching on the lights, the room was far darker than she had expected, and there was absolutely nothing 'cartoony' about it at all! There were various pieces of equipment, all designed for bondage, from places to chain someone up, to weapons of all shapes and sizes, there was even a cage!

"Well, that does look like a horse, ya know, like fer gym class, but it's more narrow on top, better fer balance I guess."

"I am sorry, I suppose I should have read the description more carefully."

"Meh, it could be worse, at least there ain't no cats. I guess as long as th' bed's comfortable enough fer ya, that's all that matters."

"But, what about you?"

"I could sleep on the ground, it don't matter. Let's look around."

"Okay, but you will NOT be sleeping on the floor. Am I clear?"

Ranma nodded, finding himself less than dissatisfied at the outcome.

Kasumi was a bit apprehensive, but if Ranma did not mind, then she would make the best of it. Some of the things she was finding, reminded her of the 'training' she had been undergoing with Nodoka anyway, so perhaps it would not be too terrible. "So, Darling, how does this room compare to the other one?"

"I though the outside was different! That one was much more ...normal. Oh, look, it's a karaoke machine!"

"Really?" Kasumi thought that seemed out of place, considering the room in general, but then the large screen television also seemed odd to her, there was even a video game console!

"Hey, ya want ta sing a song with me?"

"What? Oh, oh yes, that would be nice. What would you like to sing?"

"Eh? Yer supposed ta pick what we do, huh?"

"Oh puu... That does not matter as long as we have fun together, right?"

"If ya say so."

"I do say that. I want to know what you want to do as well. It makes me happy to do things you like to do, and I also get to try new things."

"I don't know ...I did promise Mom." Ranma grinned at her. "Yer supposed ta pick stuff this time ...I can do it next time, right?"

"What do you mean, 'next time'? Are you asking me out for another date?"

"Well, I mean, ain't that what we're doin', practice datin'? 'Er don't ya want ta do it again?"

"No, I would like that, but I did not think we would be doing more than one."

"Do ya think I learned enough, I mean, I guess I got one more a' these left."

"I do think that you have improved, considerably ...but, I suppose it could not hurt to have more 'practice'. Whatever you 'chose' to do, I will go along with it, I do not want to force you to do anything."

"Ya ain't th' one doin' no forcin', heck, ya been th' only one ta ask me what I want ta do."

"Not even Shampoo-chan?"

"Well, we did a lot a' stuff I liked ta do, but I didn't really pick nuthin', no."

"I believe we may need to have a talk when we get back."

"Well, ya know, it ain't like I was 'supposed' ta pick nuthin'! So it ain't like I-..."

"I see... Well, I-..."

"Um, hey, didn't ya want ta sing a song?"

Kasumi realized that he was trying to protect Shampoo, and it made her happy to see it, even if there was another voice, telling her that she should be upset about that... "Yes, yes I would." The small voice, had no luck in upsetting the young woman, but it did succeed in getting her to choose a romantic duet.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Breaking off the kiss, Kasumi let out a deep sigh. "Ooooh, this really IS a nice bath. I feel as if I could keep soaking like this forever."

"Yeah. ...It's pretty late though, so I'm gonna get out now." Ranma hopped out of the tub, obviously concealing a certain part of his anatomy, much to her mild disappointment.

"Okay Anata, I will be along in a few moments." Seeing him nod, she could not resist following him with her eyes as he dried himself off and walked out of the room, sighing as the door closed. "Oh my, what am I thinking?" Her breath remained raspy as she thought back over the events of the evening, finding herself embarrassed by which memories stood out the strongest to her. She was having trouble focusing on anything other than kissing, dancing, and more kissing. The strong sense of guilt over her enjoyment of the acts only made the feelings all the more tantalizing, and that only served to amplify her shame, causing a certain longing to grow more powerful.

From deep within her center, the feeling grew, filling her entire self, even making her a bit dizzy, and she had to wonder for a moment if it was something she ate, but her mind could not stay on anything other than Ranma for long. Every time she closed her eyes, she would see him climbing out of the furo, before turning back with his roguish grin. She gasped out as her hands moved furiously under the surface of the water, churning up almost as many bubbles as the built-in jets. "Oh... Oh, oh myyyyy... Goshujin-saaamaaaa...!"

She had been worried that her cry might bring Ranma running, but the walls had been designed with people screaming in mind, so her voice had not traveled outside of the room. Chest heaving, she crawled out of the bath and onto wobbly legs, steadying herself with the wall, and catching her breath. Humming to herself, she dried off, and put on one of the thin robes that were included for their use.

As she walked into the main room, she noticed that Ranma had fallen asleep. "Oh puu... I suppose it 'has' been a long day." She looked down into his face and smiled. After a few moments admiring his peaceful expression, she found herself tidying the room a bit, and looking through some of the cabinets. Looking over the 'tools' and 'costumes' that were available to her. "Oh my..."

Some of the toys reminded her of what she had seen in Nodoka's collection, and others were strange and unique to her. There was one that looked as though it was a very soft whip, with many smaller 'whips' on the end, that she saw was called a 'cat-of-nine-tails', and thought that it must have gotten quite old to have grown so many tails. Swishing it around, she found that she liked the feel of it in her hands, and practiced hitting one of the torture devices. She quickly grew board of the weapons, and moved onto the costumes, Trying on any of the ones that looked as though they might fit her general size.

She had played with a number of them, starting with one that covered everything except her eyes, mouth, and genitals, finishing up with one that actually had several pieces. She started with the lace-up pink leather panty, which rode high on her hips, but before she finished tying the string, she decided to try one the matching bustier. The 'top' actually seemed more like a girdle, with ribbons which framed her bosoms, and led up to a choker-style collar. The light-blue, thigh high boots tied up the sides with cute little bows. The 'gloves' were closer to just sleeves, ending in a ring that went over her middle finger and covered the backs of her hands.

As she looked at herself in one of the many mirrors, she blushed at how exposed she was, but smiled softly. "It IS rather cute, is it not?" She found an apron, and after putting it on, she found that she could barely tell she was not in her normal outfit, until she turned around, exposing her backside. "Oh my, how naughty!" She turned the dial on the control for her own little toy, increasing the vibration, and causing her to hum out in pleasure.

Seeing that there were free movies included with their room rental, she decided to pick one with a cute title to watch while she went to sleep. She did not pay attention to it for long as she glanced over toward a sleeping Ranma, remembering her promise to Shampoo before their vacation that she would 'take care of Ranma's night time needs while they were alone'... With very little internal debate, she crawled into the bed next to him, pulling down his light boxers. 'Oh my!' Every time she thought about how much his member changed size when she would play with it amazed her, she could not believe that large could fit inside a women. Though she knew that it could stretch enough to allow a child to pass through there, she still found it difficult to believe, even as the fingers on her free hand tried to gauge the feeling.

The gasps and sighs from the film came through as she began to subconsciously lick her lips in anticipation, her free hand playing with his exposed self. "Mmmmm..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

While it was not easy to tell what time it was in the dark room, Ranma trusted his body's internal clock, and judging by it, he had not slept that late in as long as he could remember, not unless one counts the times when he had been knocked unconscious that is! As he opened his eyes, he saw Kasumi's sleeping face staring back at him, her cute smile, her blushing face, her leather collar? ...'Wait, what?'

Pulling back the blanket, Ranma could not believe his eyes. Kasumi laid almost completely bare before him, the small leather garments she was wearing hardly covered a thing. Her arms were wrapped around him and her uncovered breasts pressed against his chest as she snuggled closer to him for warmth. "Ka- Ka- Kasumi-chan?"

"Mmmmmmm, Ranma-sama... So warm..."

An unblinking Ranma slowly pulled the covers back over them, and tried to find his center, not wanting to think about what he had just seen. Between the feeling of her body pressed against his, and her pleasant murmuring, he was finding it difficult to enter a meditative trance, or even tune out his surroundings. His morning urge to run for the restroom wrestling with ...'other' forces coming from the beauty beside him.

"Oooo, Anata ...you are so bold!"

The whispers in his ear sent tingles through his entire body, his eyes shot open, and his braid stuck straight out behind him. "Aaaaa..."

"Oh my, how did you get to be older than me? You are sooo handsome."

"Huh? I'm not older?"

"Then I must be the one to have gotten younger! Do you like me this way ...A-na-ta?"

"I like ya just fine, whatever age ya are."

"Oh Dear Heart, you are so sweet to me..."

His other 'needs' temporarily forgotten, Ranma went completely stiff as her lips caressed his neck and earlobe. He was starting to find it difficult to believe that she was really asleep. "Ka- Kasumi?" He could tell that her eyes were closed, but before he could say anything else, she sealed his lips with her own.

Time seemed to go on forever, her tongue darting in and out of her mouth, wrestling with his, and her hands tracing lines on his back. As she rolled over, she pulled him on top of her, never letting up her smooching for a moment. Ranma did his best to keep his weight from crushing her, his arms sinking into the soft mattress. Forgetting anything other than her embrace, he returned her kisses, completely losing himself in the moment.

"Good ...morning, Anata, what ...are we, um ...doing here?"

"Oh, yer awake now?"

"Yes, I am. What, exactly, were you doing while I was sleeping?"

"Um, well, ya started kissin' me, an' I couldn't fight ya off..."

"So, you are telling me, that big, strong, Ranma Saotome-sama, could not beat off a weak girl like me?"

"I could never do nuthin' ta ya."

"That is too bad, it seems as though you did do something though, did you not?"

"It wasn't me! I swear! Ya must a' been actin' out yer dream, er sumethin'."

"Are you trying to tell me that I started that?" Ranma recoiled slightly at the stern look he received before nodding slightly. "Okay, I believe you!"

"What, really? That's it?"

"Of course! I do not believe you would lie to me, and it was a 'very' nice dream..." She leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead. "Thank you."

"Fer what?"

"For telling me the truth, for comforting me, and protecting me ...for not thinking badly of me for my silly behavior. I mean I am terribly sorry about that, and I hope you are not upset with me, that is."

"How could I get mad at ya?"

"Oh, I do not know, I just do not think I could handle it if you did."

"Well, ya ain't got nuthin' ta worry 'bout, ain't gonna happen."

"Well, thank you for a very lovely date, I enjoyed myself a lot. I hope that I was not too much of a burden on you."

"No, but, I should be thankin' ya, yer th' one that planned everythin'."

"Well, your mother did much of the planning, such as dinner and this place."

"Maybe, but it wouldn't a' been as fun doin' that with Mom!" Ranma turned his head away, a light blush to his cheeks. "Especially that kissin' stuff."

"What was that ...A-na-ta? Did you say something?" She inched closer, hoping to feel his body heat again.

"...Ah ha ha ha. Yup, I sure wouldn't a' wanted ta do that with Mom, nope."

"Do ...'what'?" She threw her arms around his neck.

"Ya know, what we were doin', before..."

"Oh, you do not want to kiss your mother?"

Ranma's face turned bright red, reminding Kasumi of sweet, and juicy apple. "Not like ya were kissin' me!"

"Was there something different about the way I did it?"

"Ya can say that again."

"Was there something different about the way I did it?"

"Well ...YEAH! E'en Shampoo ain't never kissed me like that!"

"Not from lack of trying, I am certain." Kasumi spoke under her breath, and Ranma barely heard her.

"Huh, what ya sayin'?"

"I am certain that Shampoo-chan would greatly appreciate it if you did kiss each other like that, it is normal for people who are dating after all."

"Really? But, that ain't what Akane an'-..."

"I have told you that my younger sister had ...'odd' ideas about what is acceptable behavior. Besides, it was not as if the two of you were together willingly, were you?"

"Well, no, but..."

"Then do not worry about what my little sister said, and focus on what the rest of us tell you. Let me ask you this, 'did you enjoy kissing me'?" Kasumi found that she was far more interested in the answer than was proper for simply trying to be helpful. She could only assume that she did not want to be the only one who enjoyed it, as if that might ease her conscience.

"Well, I mean, 'yeah', I think so. Is, is that ...okay?"

"Oh my, that is WONDERFUL!" Without thinking, Kasumi pulled him into her embrace, resuming the morning make-out session, and for the first time, realizing what she was wearing. "Oh, oh my...!" As the realization sunk in, she started to pull back, while keeping her body pressed close to stay somewhat hidden.

"Huh, sumethin' wrong?"

"I'm sorry, I appear to have fallen asleep without changing back..."

"Why, what happened?"

Her whole body grew brighter as she thought about her position. "You were sleeping so peacefully, I did not want to disturb you, so I was playing with what was in the room."

"So, ya dressed up like ...that?"

"I know it is a bit naughty, but isn't it cute?"

Ranma's skin went flush as he remembered the part of the outfit that he was unable to see at that moment, only made worse by the parts that he could see. "Yeah, ya DO look good."

"Oh my..." The young woman started to wonder if she should get an outfit just like it for her own use. "Do you really like it?"

Ranma said nothing, but his skin blushed harder giving her an indication of his opinion. Ranma stiffened as she clung to him, strangely happy about the current situation.

"What is wrong, Ranma-sama?"

"I don't know, don't ya think we ought ta like, get dressed, er something?"

Kasumi nodded and grinned. "Yes, yes we should." Not only did she not let go of him, but she leaned closer, kissing him again. "Do you really wish to go now?"

Ranma shrugged his shoulders, uncertain how to respond, not wanting to be the one to instigate anything that might get him in trouble.

"Dana-sama, you will need to get more aggressive sometime in the near future." One of her arms slid up his back while the other wrapped around his neck and locked lips with him.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"There you are, your uniform is perfect." She could not deny that she was proud of the work she did making their work clothing, even if she did think he looked more handsome in the suit he had been wearing the night before.

"Ya look pretty cute in yers too."

"Oh my... Do, do you really think so?" Blushing, she turned her head demurely, barely noticing him faintly nodding. "Anata?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you, would you please, do something for me?"

"Sure, what'd ya want?"

"Would you call me 'Kasumi' just once?"

"I usually do, don't I?"

"No, I mean, without an honorific, just my name, by itself, as you do with Akane-chan or Shampoo-chan."

"Really? Ya sure?" The look on her face looked almost pleading, and he could not resist the 'puppy-dog' look. "Um, okay ...'Kasumi'?"

"Oh my..." Not even her family had ever spoken to her so informally before. It sounded so much better than she had ever imagined, and she felt a bit lightheaded from the dream-like sensation. She had always wanted to be close enough to someone that they would address her that way, just like friends or lovers should. As she started to teeter, she wrapped her arms around him, and rested her head against his chest, his steady heartbeat beating softly in her ear. In some ways, it was almost a dream come true, if only Ranma were a bit older...

"Ka- Kasumi, ya okay?" Even after everything they had been through together, moments like this would still set his nerves on high alert.

"Mmmmmm, yes Goshujin-sama, everything is absolutely perfect. Do YOU need anything?"

"Well, ya know, it's startin' ta get kind a' late, we're gonna have ta hurry ta make it in time unless we want ta skip breakfast."

"That is fine is it not? You can always carry me, like you did to get here, right?"

"Well, yeah, it ain't no problem, if ya want."

"...I do."

"All right then, what ya want ta eat then?"

"Whatever you would like would be fine."

"An' ya say I gotta learn ta be more assertive?"

"But I-..."

"If ya want me ta try an' get better at that stuff, then ya should try too."

"Well, I suppose, but I want you to be happy."

"Ya know I like almost everything that ain't been poisoned. I ain't picky when it comes ta food."

"Well, that is true..." Kasumi was not certain she wanted to be more assertive in her life, she liked who she was, and what she was doing, but she did not want to be the cause of him not living up to his potential, and living a happy life with some nice girl. "I promise, I will try, but you need to give it everything you have, I want to see some results, okay?"

Ranma hesitated for a moment, his face beat red, a war clearly being fought behind his eyes. "Okay." To punctuate his proclamation, as a display of his dedication, he pulled her up to her full height, puckered his lips, and surprised her with a smooch.

Disbelief at him initiating another exchange fled in place of the heat of the momentary snuggling. She relaxed as she enjoyed being on the receiving end for a change, her guilt from her enjoyment of her friend's 'husband' temporarily forgotten. She could only hope that Shampoo would forgive her ...assuming she ever discovered it. Perhaps there was something she could do to make up for it.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

NOTES

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Just a stupid background note, in this world, Hayate's mistress did not do as well financially, and had to open a cafe to make ends meet.

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Now on to our next 'practice' date. What will he learn from Hinako-sensei? Find out in the next enticing installment when we bring you, 'Bondage Fairy', or 'The Lecturer's Lessons'!


	45. Chapter 45

Warning: Please keep this story dry, it does not mix well with water and it will NOT change gender no mater how hot or cold that water is! You will just make a mess.

Chapter 45 - Cast Away ...Onii-Island

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Kasumi was glad that she had never taken a physics class, she did not think she could wrap her head around how Ranma had been able to transport them so far in what felt like the blink of an eye. It seemed impossible to her, but there they were, for the second time, across town without her even seeing how they arrived. The 'safe' feeling weakened a bit, but she still felt the warmth from his closeness, and the comfort of his arms wrapped around her body. It always reminded her of the feelings she had when she was a child, safe in her father's arms, no matter what crazy things were happening around her, her father had always been there to protect her, just like ...Ranma. "Oh my!"

"It's okay, we're here."

"You really are amazing, I cannot believe you can move so quickly!"

"It seems a lot slower when yer doin' it. I can barely tell I'm movin' all that fast at all, it's more like everyone else just slows down."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, if ya focus some a' yer ki inta yer senses, ya can tell a lot better, after that, it's just training ta get better."

"Well then, I suppose I will have to continue to do my best then, perhaps 'next time' I will be able to tell." Kasumi blushed slightly at the idea of there even being a next time.

"Huh? Yeah, sure, just let me know, an' we can practice if ya want."

"Oh my..." She was suddenly looking forward to that particular training session!

"But, we're here, so, um..."

She could tell that Ranma was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable, but it took her a moment to realize why.

"Why Kasumi-onee-chan hold Airen too too tight? Is this why no be early? Too too busy play nice-nice?" Shampoo gave them a cross look.

"Oh, Shampoo-chan! I am so sorry, it is just that-..."

"S- sorry Shampoo, th' restaurant took too long, so we had ta hurry here."

She was unable to hold her annoyed appearance, slipping back into a more curious one. "Is okay... but why still hold?"

"Oh, oh, oh my... I-, I am sorry... It is just that-..." She could not bring herself to say that it felt too nice to leave, so she slowly stood on her own feet, reluctantly letting go of Ranma's neck.

"Is okay, but Shampoo want turn now!" She favored him with a sultry leer full of promises of things to come.

"Um, later, okay? We got work ta do, right?"

"Is true, while wait, Shampoo get more work offer!"

"What, really?" Ranma suddenly went from being embarrassed about his compromising situation, to a more general confusion.

"Yes, what happened?" Kasumi wondered how that would affect their schedule.

"When Shampoo arrive, get stop by woman in white coat. Say heard about from underling. Ask Shampoo if have time clean one more place."

"What'd ya say?"

"Say is maybe okay, need ask Shampoo 'boss' first. So, what 'boss' say, is okay?"

"What'd ya mean ...'boss'?"

"That is a good point, one of you should have the final say, things will go more smoothly that way."

"Shampoo no is one in charge." She shook her head, not wanting to have to be the one to handle the customers and finances.

"Can't we just be partners?" He did not really want to be telling them what to do.

"Shampoo is happy be 'partner' with Ranma anytime, but still is Ranma business, and no want do thing make Shampoo 'partner' no be happy."

"What? I-, I didn't mean-..." Kasumi rested her hand upon his shoulder, and he promptly relaxed. "I guess, I mean, it ain't like it'll take long with all three a' us, right? So, how ya guys want ta do it? Should we all work together, each take different tasks, or each take a different apartment?"

"Shampoo want stay together!"

"Perhaps we should do a mix of that, for example, we could go collect all of the laundry, and while I am washing everything at once, the two of you can begin tackling the other cleaning ...together." She winked at Shampoo, enjoying the unabashed smile she received in return, despite the twinge of pain she felt in her heart.

"Hey, yer right, that might be quicker! That's a good idea, Kasumi."

Kasumi was shocked, it was one thing to hear that when she was expecting it, but in public, out of the blue like that had surprised her, and she slapped her hands to her face as she blushed. "You, you did it again?"

"Didn't ya say ya wanted me ta?" Ranma suddenly found the sidewalk VERY interesting as he shuffled his feet.

"Well, yes, but..." She wanted to protest that it was too forward, but she knew that at best it could just confuse the boy, so she tried to calm herself and just 'go with it'. "Thank you, Ranma-sama."

"Ya ain't gotta use one with me neither, if ya don't want, ya know?"

"I DO want, but thank you all the same." And what happened then? Well in Nerima they say that Kasumi's usual good cheer grew three sizes that day. And then, the true meaning of teamwork came through, and she felt that she found the cleaning power of ten housewives, plus two!

Shampoo watched the exchange, but most of the significance around the honorifics, or lack there of, seemed to go over her head. "Is ready for cleaning now?"

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Kasumi had not been able to hang the linens anywhere outside to dry, and was forced to use the machine in order finish in a reasonable time. She was not thrilled about it, but occasionally sacrifices had to be made, she was just glad that it was not for her family and that there was nothing that needed to be air dried, like silk. She had been considering what to do all morning, and had finally come to a conclusion. With nothing to do for the moment, she went to search for Ranma, hoping to catch him alone.

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Ranma felt strange about what Kasumi had asked of him, but he had promised her he would make an effort, and he would never go back on his word if he had any say in he matter! He found Shampoo still working in their newest client's room, washing dishes in the kitchen.

"Hey, Shampoo."

"Aiyaa, Airen come see Shampoo?"

"Kind a', I came ta get th' rest a' th' trash. Ya 'bout done?"

Letting out a small sigh, she straightened her outfit, and turned to face him. "New customer have too too many dirty ashtray, but done now. Just put last one up for drying."

"Hey, great, then once I take this bag out, we can go get lunch." Ranma started to move toward the last bag, when he remembered why he was there. "Oh, um, Kasumi said ta do this, so, uh, don't blame me, okay?"

"What Husband wan-?" Before she could finish her thought, Ranma moved closer to her, and quickly kissed her on the cheek. Shampoo heard the sound of glass shattering coming from her chest as her eyes went wide, rolling back in her head just as the young woman promptly fainted.

"SHAMPOO!" Without thinking, Ranma caught her before she hit the floor, making certain she did not hit her head on anything. "Hey! Ya okay?" Carrying her into the living room, he laid her down on the couch.

It only took a moment before her eyes fluttered open, still stunned by what she remembered. Tears started to stream down her puffy cheeks, as she started to sob uncontrollably, uncertain as to what she could have done to cause such a thing to happen. "Why, why Ranma give Shampoo kiss, Kiss of ...De-death?" Her blood ran cold, what could she do? She knew she could not beat him, even if she had the will to fight the man she loved. He was technically a member of their tribe already so he had that right, but she had to know. Her voice was soft, still broken, but filled with a cool resignation, if he did not want her around, then she could think of no greater honor than to die by his own hand. "Never want fi-fight Ranma for real. Do what need do, but first please tell what do wrong? Why hate Shampoo that much now?"

He could not believe his blunder, and wondered why he ever even tried? "WHAT? NO! I didn't mean it like that! I was just tryin' ta be ...ya know? Kasumi said I was supposed ta do that with th' girls I'm datin'... I'm sorry! I warned ya it ain't my fault!" Ranma bowed deeply, hoping she would forgive his clumsy mistake.

Shampoo's free-flowing tears trickled to a light sobbing as her hopeful emotions started to return. "So ...no want make Shampoo go away?"

"NO! And I sure don't want ta kill nobody! I was tryin' ta cheer ya up, I just-..."

"AIYAAAA...! SO HAPPY!" Tackling him to the floor, she rained kisses down upon him as if he were in the middle of a storm, and much to her astonishment, she found that he was actually returning some of them. Then it was Ranma's turn to be a bit dumfounded as hurricane Shampoo overpowered his defenses, and pushed him down onto his back, fumbling with his top button.

However, before she was able to unfasten the clasp, they heard the sound of the door closing behind them. "What do we have here? Is this what I pay you to do, use my home as a brothel?"

"No, ma'am! We were just finished, an' about ta go get lunch." After quickly getting to his feet, Ranma bowed in shame.

"It looked like you were about to eat something else." Ritsuko eyed the young lovers cautiously.

Beaming with pride, the newly hired housecleaner also bowed in apology, along with her 'superior'. "Shampoo earn bonus, for job well done!"

The older woman let out a deep sigh. "I wish I could get a bonus like that more often! Well, you did do a good job by the looks of it."

"Shampoo thank!"

After they both bowed several more times, Ranma kept his head down. "Sorry 'bout that, Akagi-san, I won't let it happen again. Let me go get th' last bag a' trash, an' we'll get out a' yer hair."

"That's okay, don't worry about it. I am not paying you by the hour anyway, but if you have any thoughts about taking things too far in here, remember that I have cameras ...'everywhere'!"

"Aiyaaaa..."

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"Shampoo have thing what need say..." As they walked along, heading toward their home, she hung her head in shame. "Have problem last night."

"Oh my... Whatever could have happened?"

"Pancake-Girl no happy Shampoo have too too nice date, and want fight. Shampoo make go out of house, but get messy. When Teacher also join, too too many thing get broken."

"Oh man... What happened?" Ranma was worried about her sheepish tone, knowing whatever it was, it would not likely to be good.

Ever the optimist, Kasumi hoped it would be easy to repair. "I am sure it cannot be too bad, what got broken?"

"Neighbor house..."

"WHAT?" That was beyond anything he could have imagined, maybe he really should have stayed in bed.

"Oh my..."

He was certain he did not want to know, but he could not prevent himself from asking the obvious question. "How...?"

"Fight get big, both shoot ki, break wall, hit house... Feel bad, Shampoo give pay, for family stay in hotel..."

"Well, that was nice of you. Was anyone hurt?" She was glad that they at least tried to do the right thing.

"No, only stupid Kote-girl!"

"Oh my."

Ranma sighed in resignation. "I guess we gotta go fix it..."

"I will go talk to them, I am sure they will understand." As they turned the corner, they looked through the gaping hole in the property wall and saw their neighbors were missing nearly half of their house! "Oh my..."

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Hinako was concerned about what she was expected to do on this 'date' with Ranma, this was taking things much further than she had intended, though she could not deny that she had already crossed that line several times. She had some time left before she had to be ready, and was browsing their library, absentmindedly looking at the books lining the shelves as she thought about her situation. While it was not as if she had ever cataloged their possessions, she had been experiencing a nagging suspicion that something in the room was different ...again. The changes were obviously subtle, or else her 'keen observations skills' would have certainly noticed them more quickly!

Randomly picking up one of the books, she started to leaf through it, shocked by the images inside! "Is THIS what we have in our library?"

"Oh? Do you like it?" Nodoka spoke quietly behind her, having effectively 'snuck' up on her without being noticed. "That is one of my favorites."

"What? You brought this?"

"Oh yes, I figured we needed as much 'educational' material in here as possible."

"So, you mean ...there is 'more' like this?"

"Certainly, here, let me show you..." Deftly removing the book from her fingers, she returned it to the shelf, while rummaging for a few other selections.

Hinako could not believe how many 'ecchi' books were currently in their library! Nodoka showed her everything from textbooks, to romance novels, to erotic manga! She figured fitting that many new items in there, some of the original books must have been removed as well. "Wait, is this...?"

"That they are, I brought my own collection, and I pick up more every time I go shopping."

Hesitantly, Hinako flipped through one of the comic books, her jaw dropping as she flipped through the pages.

"Feel free to read for now, it will help you get in the mood for your date, and I will come get you when it is time to get ready."

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"You two have fun now!" Nodoka waved at the pair as they left the house.

"Uh, yeah, we'll be back later."

"Not TOO soon now."

Ranma grimaced as they hurried out of sight, glad that Kasumi had distracted Shampoo and Ukyo was still at work, allowing them to leave with minimal fuss. On the other hand, he had no idea what to expect for the rest of the day, so he had some concerns that it might be the calm before the storm. "So, Sensei, um, where ya want ta go?"

"First, while we are on this 'date', it will not do for you to call me 'teacher', so for today, I want you to call me by my name."

"Nino-..."

"My GIVEN name." She gave him a cross look, wondering why he was so nervous.

"Okay, Hinako-san...?" It was not as if he did not use her personal name regularly, but for some reason it felt strange to him in this situation.

"Isn't that a little unfamiliar for someone you are 'dating'?"

"Hinako-chan?" Ranma spoke tentatively, wondering how she was going to react.

Her change in mood was immediate and drastic, as she fell back into her more childlike personality. "That is much better, Onii-chan!"

Ranma grimaced at the nickname, still uncomfortable at her calling him 'older brother', particularly while she was still in her adult form, not that he wanted her to change back while they were on a 'date'.

"Oh, don't be like that, we have to make sure you have lots of fun tonight!"

"So, where we goin'?"

"Odaiba!"

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"I am terribly sorry, if I had known it could have gone that far, I would have put a stop to it much sooner. I just thought it would be good to let them get it out of their system."

"At least the neighbors were happy with their gift, though I may need to get Nabiki-chan's help again to pay the damages, even with Ranma-sama and Shampoo-chan giving me their money from work..." She started to wonder what piece of her 'collection' she would have to sell next.

"I may have a way to pay the damages, though it could take me a little while..."

"Really Mother?" Kasumi's ears perked-up, wondering what the other woman had in mind.

"Yes, please, do not worry about it for now, let me see what I can do first."

"Oh my! I am certain that everyone will be so happy when we tell them!"

"Wait! ...Perhaps you should not say anything until I can be certain..."

"Oh? Okay, if you insist. But still, that is a weight off of my mind. I need to get back to work on the laundry then, thank you again Mother."

"Oh, do not worry my dear, it is the least I can do, all things considered." Nodoka smiled as she watched Kasumi head out of the room before she went over to pick up the phone.

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As the 'couple' left their car, Ranma turned to his 'date' and had to raise an eyebrow at the way she was enthusiastically looking at everything around them. "So, what'd ya want ta do first?"

"Let's start at the Decks!"

"Th' what?"

"Over there, do you see that boat-shaped building?" Seeing the mall she was indicating, Ranma nodded. "There are a lot of fun things to do in there!"

"Ya been there before?"

"We-... Oh, um, yes, I've been here a number of times. I hear it is a popular date spot." Hinako glanced away before grabbing his hand and running across the footbridge. "What should we go see first?"

"I don't know, didn't ya say 'th' Decks'? What's that?"

"Have you never been to a mall before?"

"Well, yeah, but I ain't ever seen one like that..." He was starting to notice a pattern, only Ukyo had done something different, and she spent most of her life with other boys. "So, ya want ta go shoppin'?" Was that was most normal girls like to do on dates?

Noticing his change in demeanor, her enthusiasm faded somewhat, and she regained a bit more of a mature air about her. "We do not have to do that, if you do not want..."

"Nah, it's fine. Just, I was wonderin', is that, like what most people do on a date?"

"I cannot speak for everyone, but I have found it rather common when people ask me out. You do not need to buy anything though, we can just go look at all of the fun things, okay? Sometimes just window-shopping is fun too."

Ranma shrugged, not really caring what they did. "Huh? Okay, so, where ya want ta go then?"

Tired of the repetitive questions, she took his hand again, and tugged. "This way!"

Ranma felt the jealous stares of the men they passed as she dragged him along, not really sure as to why, but he was happy to get away from them nonetheless.

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Ranma could not say that he was too surprised that the moment they got in the mall, Hinako had gotten distracted, and started flitting from shop to shop. Despite staying in her adult form most of the time, her child-like personality still tended to take over whenever she was having fun. They had spent several hours simply running around, looking at everything that caught her fickle eye.

After adjusting the little anime character mask she was wearing as a hat, she realized that her soda was empty. Turning around, she looked into Ranma's eyes, and took his hand in hers. "Onii-chan? Do you want to go get a snack?"

It was far from their first snack, though he was not opposed to eating something else, in fact... "How 'bout dinner instead? It's getting' ta be about that time, huh?"

Hinako looked a bit disappointed for a moment but quickly recovered. "Yes, of course, you are correct. We should have a proper meal ...and THEN have dessert!"

It did not take long for Hinako to find a food shop that she seemed to like, and still with her hand in his, ran over to get in line. "Here we go! You like takoyaki, riiight?"

"Oh yeah, who don't?"

"Oh goodie! It's all crispy and poofy!" The childlike joy in her smile was difficult to ignore, even if it looked somewhat out of place on her more mature features.

"Yeah, it's pretty good." As they got through the line, they saw the sign that read, 'Odaiba Takoyaki Museum', along with their mascots. "Museum? I thought we were eatin'?"

"We are! You will not find better takoyaki in all of Tokyo!" Inside the first display case they noticed contained various griddles used, including a replica of the original pan, used by their inventor, Tomekichi Endo, over fifty years before, with materials ranging from copper to cast iron.

As they paused to look at the display of the mascots riding on a small boat, someone whispered to them in passing, "Th' one in Osaka is better, but yer right, it's th' best one in Tokyo! But maybe Ah'm jus' bias." The larger man with the Kansai accent moved on without waiting for a response.

Sitting on the bench, Hinako handed Ranma the small camera she had purchased earlier that day, before striking a pose. "Onii-chan, here, take my picture!"

As he looked through the lens, Ranma could feel the heat of the stares directed their way, the sudden interest from all around him making him barely notice the provocative posture his purported professor was presenting. Though, some might say the woman would appear erotic no matter what her intent might have been, it was simply something she could not help. Not that it normally affected Ranma much in any way, for the most part he had grown used to such displays some time ago, it was the childish antics while in her adult form that he still found strange.

They both had a chuckle over the takoyaki shrine as they continued to walk through the displays. That was until they came to the first of the coin operated machines, at which point Hinako could not help but to get distracted as she tried to decide what to play with first. "Oooo, look, I can win a top!"

Ranma played with one of the basketball games as she dropped coins into the various random prize vendors that reminded him of large gumball machines, each giving her a small toy or sticker before she found one of the larger crane games. The machine was filled small plastic balls, about the size of a baseball, that would open to reveal the prize if they were won. Most of these balls were black, but a number of them were bright colors, including blue, pink, yellow, and even a golden one. The typical claw even had rubber-tipped fingers to make it easier to grip the plastic balls. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as she won almost half of the time, though it was always one of the black balls, which opened to reveal a small skeleton which was riding a bike, skateboard, or in some other action pose.

He could tell that she was starting to get frustrated, but before his time had run out on his game, she was by his side, tugging on his sleeve. "Onii-chan? That bad game won't give Hinako the right prize! You can win Hinako-chan the grand prize, can't you?"

The pleading look in her eyes was too much for him, and he caved instantly, barely collecting the tickets that spit out at him after he failed to take his last shot. "Of course I can! Just who do ya think I am?"

"Little Hinako's onii-chan!"

Looking it over, he saw that the main prize was one of the newer hand-held Sega Gamegear consoles, so he assumed the coupon for it had to be in the only golden ball in the machine. It only took him a moment to work out the correct position and the claw easily grabbed the golden ball. "Zat th' one ya want?"

She was practically bouncing as she pried the ball open to find the golden ticket, the resulting squeals causing him to turn his head, wincing at the loud noise. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Onii-chan! You are the best Onii-chan in the world!" She leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.

As the earsplitting sounds having ended, Ranma turned back to find, much to his surprise, Hinako's lips meeting his own. While taken aback, his training with Kasumi kicked in, and his body reacted instinctively. His arms wrapped around her, one embracing her waist, the other rubbing the back of her neck as he pressed her back against the wall.

"Oh, Oh, Onii-chan...?" They were largely ignored by the few people who spotted them in the corner, no one wanting to get involved in the 'embarrassing' scene. Several long minutes passed as they lost themselves in the moment, neither of them fully cognizant of their surroundings. Eyes closed, bodies pressed together, their tongues intertwined while their hands caressed each other without conscious thought controlling them. Bodies twisting in each other's arms, Hinako's ankle gave out from under her, and they both cam crashing down to the floor, Ranma was barely able to keep them from having a hard landing.

Broken out of the more innocent side of her personality, Hinako gasped for breath while trying to figure out how things had gotten to that point. "Sa- Saotome-kun... Wha-, what are you doing?"

"Ain't that what yer supposed ta do on a date? I mean, that's what I was told, and... I'M SORRY! I didn't mean-...!" Ranma started to quickly bow in apology.

"No, calm yourself, I am not ...unhappy with you. But you need to be certain that the person you are going to do that with wants to do it with you as well."

"Well, it's just that, ya know, ya started it, an' I mean, ya seemed like ya liked it an' all..."

The way Ranma blushed and shied away from her gave her little choice but to react. "Oh, it is MY fault is it? I am just too appealing, is that it?"

"Well, I mean, I-.."

Hinako giggled, sometimes it was difficult to resist teasing the boy, his reactions were far too entertaining. "It is fine, I understand. ...You really are good at that, you know?"

"Yeah? Well, I guess Kasumi's a good teacher..."

"Oh?"

"I didn't think I was supposed ta, 'cause-..."

"It is fine, but you should save that for your real dates, this is just practice." Hinako was not certain she could handle much more, no one had ever kissed her so passionately before.

"So was th' last one, but that was something Kasumi said I should get experience doin'."

"I see, well, that is true, but..." Hinako thought about their situation, and felt guilty for unintentionally leading him on... She supposed that it would not hurt anything, as long as she did not allow things to get out of hand, she WAS supposed to be teaching him, and he was not technically her 'student' at the moment... "I suppose kissing is okay, but let us try to be more discrete in public, okay?"

"Well, sure, but I didn't-..."

"Hey, look, you still have two more plays on the game!"

"That so?"

"You get three tries for five-hundred yen, and I was doing so poorly, so I..."

"Okay then, which one ya want?"

"How about that yellow one, the one in the corner?"

Just as Ranma was about to press the button to drop the claw, he felt Hinako lightly pressing against him from behind to look over his shoulder, and the softness pressing into his back slightly threw off his aim, causing him to get one of the blue ones instead. "Shimatta!"

"Whoopsie, did I do that? You should not allow yourself to get distracted so easily."

The warm breath on his ear caused shivers to run down his spine, and he had to center himself for a moment to get his brain working again. He was not sure as to the 'whys' of it, but he had been finding these disturbances far more difficult to ignore lately, as if his ability tune it out was degrading with each passing day. "Uh, sorry 'bout that, ya said I got one more try, right?"

"Yes you do, and I am certain that you can ...do it."

This time he managed to brace himself for the feeling, and did not waver as he won his intended prize. "Got it!"

"Yatta!"

"Well, let's see what ya got..."

Hinako looked between the two plastic balls, trying to decide which to open first. She tried shaking them, but neither of them rattled at all. After several moments of agonizing, she finally opened the yellow one first. "Oooo... look, a coupon for free takoyaki!"

"Hey! That's a pretty good prize!" His eyes lit up as few things could get Ranma as excited as free edibles.

"And we have you to thank for it. What do you think is in the other one?"

"I don't know, more food?" His voice sounded hopeful.

"No need to worry, you may have as much as you like, even if the ticket does not cover it."

"Hey, thanks!"

"It is fine, this excursion is my treat after all..." Hinako was barely paying attention as she opened the blue ball and saw the ticket with a cartoon caricature of a blue hedgehog. "Oooo, you won a game to play!"

"Yeah, I guess ya'd need that, huh?" A game console is not much fun without a game to play in it.

"You mean, I can have it?"

Ranma shrugged with with little emotion behind it. "Ain't like I can use it anyway."

"Onii-chan, thank you!" The taller woman gushed as she looked through her toys.

"Ain't nuthin'..." Rubbing the back of his neck, Ranma turned away. His embarrassment hung in the air for a moment until his stomach protested being able to smell all of the food stalls without being fed.

Giggling, Hinako took his hand and pulled lightly. "Let's go cash in these prize tickets and get you a snack." As they looked for the prize counter, Hinako darted back and forth, unable to stop herself from excitedly examining each machine they passed.

When they finally reached the counter, Hinako had gathered a number of other toys, candies, and other prizes. She had almost filled all of the bags she had been carrying, and had the stick from a lollipop poking out of her mouth. Setting her bags on the floor, she casually leaned against the counter, handing over her three prize tickets. "Hello there, what do I need to do with these?"

"Oh my, aren't you lucky today?" After handing over their prizes, the young woman examined the remaining ticket. "Well now, let me see. Here you go." Pulling out a tray, she placed a stack of five heart-shaped bowls, two pairs of chopsticks, and a few napkins oh top of it. "Just take this around to each shop, and give them one of these five tickets. Each one of our amazing shops will then prepare their specialty for you on your romantic date."

One of Hinako's eyebrows rose in a quizzical look. "How...?"

"I could not help but to see you earlier, so I upgraded your prize. We here at the Odaiba Takoyaki Museum hope you have a nice time and enjoy your stay." With an embarrassed expression, the pair bowed and thanked the woman before they collected their things.

Hinako carried their tray, leaving Ranma loaded down with their bags as they went from one stall to the next, each one serving them a different variation of the classic dish. First they got the standard 'plain' style, while the second set were sprinkled with bonito flakes and aonori with Japanese mayonnaise drizzled over them. The third was smothered in green onion and a heavy serving of mayonnaise, another set were made with cherry blossoms, while the final ones came with a soft-boiled egg to break open and use as a dip.

Hinako chose a small table near some of the games, setting down their tray, and taking her seat. Unloading the bags next to them, Ranma followed suit.

Looking at the ones that came with the egg dip, Hinako noticed something. "Eww, that one's still moving!"

"Oh, yeah, I guess ya know it's fresh, huh?" After breaking the egg open, he dipped one of them in it, and popped it into his mouth.

"Is it ...good?"

Ranma shrugged. "It ain't bad, here." Picking up the second one from that set, he dipped it in the egg before holding it out for her.

"Ummmm...?" Hinako stared at it for a moment before closing her eyes and opening her mouth, allowing Ranma guide it into her mouth. She was too distracted by the feeling of the tentacles squirming as she chewed, not to mention the way the little suckers tickled her throat as she swallowed, to even realize that she had just taken a bite using his chopsticks. "So, have you, um, eaten things like that often?" She took a long drink from her soda, trying to forget the feeling of the suction cups in her mouth.

"Oh yeah, I've had ta eat way weirder stuff 'en that on th' road, an' that ain't nuthin' like Akane's cookin'! Here, why don't ya try one a' th' plain ones next, like ta, ya know, taste normal."

"Thank you." Hinako blushed as she realized how naturally she was allowing him to feed her. She never would have expected it of either of them, though she had to admit, that is was a cute thing to do with your 'sweetheart'. "Now it is my turn."

"But, ya just had two...ooop?" Before he realized it, she had copied his gesture and fed him one of the other plain ones with a grin.

"In English, they say, 'what is good for the goose, is good for the gander'."

"Huh, what's that supposed ta mean?"

"In this context, it means that if you are going to feed me, than I get to feed you as well."

Ranma blushed as he realized what he had done, he had grown so accustomed to the action, that he had done it without noticing. "What? Oh, no, I didn't mean ...I'm sorry, I didn't think...!"

Giggling, Hinako winked at him. "It is perfectly fine, it is a normal date activity, is it not?"

"Is it?"

"Well, not on 'every' date, but I hear it is quite common, particularly with you young lovers." Hinako winked at the blushing adolescent as she picked-up one of the sakura colored balls, and held it out for him. "Here you go, Onii-chan."

Ranma blinked several times, glancing between the takoyaki and the youthful instructor before hardening his resolve, his hunger winning out over his embarrassment. "Mmmmm..."

"You like?"

Nodding, Ranma returned the favor, handing her another of the cherry blossom octopus puffs. "Try yerself."

"Oooooo... That IS good!" Hinako wrapped her arms around herself as she squirmed in her seat.

"Ain't it though? But um, Hinako? Ya got a bit a' sauce on yer face..."

Looking sheepish, she quickly licked her face clean with a grin. "You know, about earlier ...I 'really' am sorry."

"Huh, what'd ya mean?"

"In the Trick Art Museum, when I drained you... I was trying to hit that shark..."

"The 'paintin' a' a shark ya mean?"

"Well, it looked like it was swallowing you!"

Ranma almost choked on his bite as he laughed at how emphatic she was being. "It ain't no big deal, it'd take more 'an that ta stop Ranma Saotome!"

"Which is pretty amazing in its own right! Most people cannot tolerate my five-yen satsu, where as you have been able to withstand my fifty-yen, or even when I used that basketball hoop! You are almost as good as these guys." Hinako indicated her fishbowl.

"Almost?"

She gave him a playful wink and a grin. "How could you take me steadily draining you? Would you like to test it?"

"Not exactly..." Ranma glanced around nervously looking for a distraction, even if he could handle her ki draining for a while, it was not what he would call the most pleasant feeling in the world.

"Which one did you like the best?"

"Oh, um, I guess th' one with all the onions, it was th' most fillin'. What about ya?"

"The sakura ones were the best to me!"

"So, um, ya still okay with gettin' some more?" The pair grinned at each other before walking back over to the nearest food vendor.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"You got me again! What game do you want to play next?" Hinako pouted at the machine, almost wishing that she could believe that it had cheated her, otherwise Ranma was far too good at that game for her.

"Another fightin' game I guess. Ya still got coins?"

"Not the kind we need. I guess we need to go get change."

One of the attendants stopped them before hey made to the machine. "I am terribly sorry, but we are about to close."

"Is it that late already?"

"I guess we gotta go."

"Are you two on a date?"

"It seems that way."

"Yeah, looks like it."

"Then you should go to the Ferris wheel, you can get a beautiful view of the Rainbow Bridge from there at night with everything lit up like that."

"Oooo, that sounds nice!"

"If you go out through the south exit over there, and turn to your left, you can't miss it."

"Why thank you."

"You are very welcome, and don't worry, it goes slowly, so you have plenty of time for sight-seeing," The attendant leaned in closely to whisper to Ranma. "...or for smooching and stuff. It sets a great mood, if you know what I mean!"

Ranma was not exactly certain what the man had been indicating, but as they walked out of the arcade, the image of kissing Hinako again flashed through his mind, causing his face to turn a light shade of pink. He hardly noticed a thing until they had exited the mall and saw the giant robot before them, lit-up and moving to a cheering crowd.

"Sugooooiiiii!"

"Yeah, that is pretty neat, ain't it?"

"You are a guy, should you not be more impressed?"

"Well, ya know, it's like, I got attacked by one once, it was kind a' pain..."

"You were ATTACKED by a ROBOT?" Hinako's voice was dripping with incredulity.

"Well, kind a'. I mean it wasn't 'exactly' a robot. Gosunkugi was in it, so it was more like armor, er somethin', but it was sort a' th' same thing."

"Power armor?"

"Yeah, it was called a 'battle suit', pretty tough fer somethin' bought out a' th' back a' a comic book! Wouldn't a' been SO bad if it didn't self-destruct at th' end though! Trainin's better 'an some dumb shortcut anyway."

"Sounds like fun, I want to try it!"

"No ya don't, it ain't all it's cracked up ta be. Ya can't move 'til yer enemy is in range, it won't come of if ya can't hit her strongest enemy, an' if ya can't him 'em before th' battery runs out, it blows up. It ain't fun at all!"

"You cannot take it off? How do you go potty?"

"Don't know, didn't ask... A guy starts callin' me their greatest enemy an' tryin' ta beat me, I stop worryin' about how comfortable they are."

"I suppose I cannot blame you, but still..."

"I heard they stopped sellin' 'em, too many people blew-up."

Not letting it deter her, she tried to remain positive. "Still, it seems like it would be fun to drive a big robot like that!"

"Yeah, yer probably right."

"Oh, look Onii-chan, there is the big-wheel! It is all lit-up and shiny!"

"Ya ready ta head over there then?"

"SURE!" After dropping their bags off in the car Hinako had borrowed from them for their date, they walked over to the ride and got into the line. "I have not been on one of these in years!"

"I ain't been on many..." The memories of what happened around the last time he 'rode' one, and the stories about the problems that happened then, flashed in his mind. "It didn't go too well last time."

Seeing his mood shift, Hinako could not help herself. "Hey, what happened? Would you like to talk about it?"

"Naw, it just broke down, an' it got messy."

"Oh? Well, what are the odds of that happening again?"

"With me? Pretty high..." Ranma looked around nervously, half expecting something to go wrong at any moment.

"Are you sure that you are not just being paranoid?"

"Do ya think? Seems pretty normal ta me."

"I suppose for you that might just be 'normal' ...Onii-chan." Giggling, she tugged on his hand to keep up with the moving line.

Ranma ignored the grumbles from behind him, trying to focus on the woman urging him forward. The dichotomy of her adult form, holding her stuffed octopus toy, purse, and hat, combined with her excitement, made for a complicated image in his mind. "I kind a' thought ya'd a' left that stuff in the car with the rest of the stuff ya bought."

"What, you do not like my 'Octo-plushi'? It's SO cute!" Holding it up in front of him, she made it dance around in the air, singing a happy little tune. "Octo-plushie, you're the one, you make my playtime lots of fun, Octo-plushie, I am awfully fond of you!" She punctuated the last note by pretending her doll kissed him on the nose.

Ranma covered his face with his free hand as he shook his head.

"Would the next group please come forward?"

"Oh, hey, that's us..."

"Will it be just to two of you?"

Toy in hand, she stepped up to the attendant. "Yeees! We want to be alone with Onii-chan!"

Ranma shook his head and tried to hide his face as he was led into the cabin. As he tried to sit across from her, she quickly switched sides. "Now, now, Onii-chan, you should want to sit next to your date like this."

"Oh, okay..." Ranma allowed the somewhat taller woman slide up next to him.

"Are you enjoying yourself so far?"

"Oh, oh yeah, it's been fun."

"Good, that is the most important thing on a date, that everyone has fun."

"So, did ya have fun too?"

"Of course I did! Can't you tell?"

"I ain't never sure a' nuthin' when it comes ta girls. Ya say one thing, ya do another, everybody tellin' me ta do somethin' different, an' callin' me a pervert fer it."

"Who has called you a pervert? I did not."

"No, ya ain't done it in a long time, but a lot a' th' people we passed today said that, and a lot a other stuff, some I didn't really get. What's a 'donfan'?"

"Oh, uh, 'Don Juan', that is a man who, um ...is a 'talented' seducer of women."

"What's 'seducer' mean?"

"A person who ...'attracts' others, typically for ...'romance'."

"Sounds like what they call a 'pervert' ta me..."

"No, no, no ...well, maybe, it can be, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. It is only a problem if they are with someone who is not willing. As long as you truly care about each other, then it is fine to do whatever you both want ...at least in private."

"But, then what about...?"

"Some people overreact under embarrassment, you have a tendency to do something similar yourself."

"What? What do I do? I ain't like that!"

"Well, you do not react exactly the same way as some, but I have noticed that you do tend to unnerve easily when it comes to women."

"Who wouldn't?"

"Nearly everyone, actually. Most of us will not bite you hard after all."

"I'd rather not get bit at all..."

"You never know, in the right situation, you might like it." She winked at him as she clacked her teeth together with a light growl.

"What? Who'd like that?"

"A little nibbling can feel really good. Do you remember when your mother had you practicing on us?"

"I try not ta..."

"Why, did you not enjoy it?"

"I don't know, I mean, I didn't hate it er nuthin' but it just seemed so ...strange, like it weren't really me. It's more like a dream, than somthin' that really happened..."

"Well, it WAS really dreamy, but it did happen, and it should be something you do regularly with your girlfriends, they will absolutely love you for it."

"Ya think?"

"I am positive!"

"But, I don't know, are ya sure it ain't perverted? It sure seems like it ta me."

"Some people might say so, but that does not necessarily make it a bad thing. After all, not everyone is correct all of the time. Right?"

With various images of his father flashing through his mind, he could hardly deny her point. "I guess, but didn't ya even call me a 'delinquent' fer stuff like that before?"

"Well sure, when you try to grope a woman you just met, especially when that women is your new teacher! You need to get to know each other first, make sure that the other person wants to do those things with you as well. If you just go around grabbing anyone, then you are a perverted delinquent, and you are in the wrong, but it is fine if you are doing it with someone that you are dating, married, or something similar. Do you understand?"

"I think so..."

"Good, now do not let me hear any more of this talk about you being a 'pervert', okay? If you are being perverted, 'I' will let you know, okay?"

"That's what I'm afraid a'."

"Do not worry, we will just talk, I promise, I will not attack you." No sooner had she finished her thought, then they had crested the top most point of the ride, and she spotted the bright lights over his shoulder. "Ooooo, look, the new Rainbow bridge they keep talking about!"

Ranma almost fell over as Hinako practically tackled him in her excitement to see behind him, and it rocked their gondola. "Oh yeah, look at that, it's all lit-up."

"They are actually only using three colors of lights, but the overlapping causes it to mix and you get more of the spectrum."

"Oh, well, that's interestin', I guess..."

"It will be nice when it opens for traffic, that will save us a lot of time when we want to visit."

"I suppose so, it is a bit of a jump..."

"Jump?"

"I could probably make it, but I'd rather not get wet, so better with th' bridge."

Hinako's jaw dropped for a moment, before she remembered some of the feats she had seen him perform already, and decided that if anyone could do it, it would likely be him. "It really is beautiful from up here, with all of Tokyo illuminating in the background."

"Yeah, I s'ppose it is."

"Thank you for coming with me." Ranma's body stiffened slightly as her arms wrapped around him. "You see, this is what I meant. There is no need for you to be this uncomfortable from a simple hug. Now, practice with me, return my embrace. Good, you may rest your head on my shoulder, or whatever feels comfortable to you."

Ranma found it difficult to relax as Hinako's hands lightly stroked his back, shivers racing up and down his spine. As he tried to distract himself from the strange feelings that were arising, he found himself focusing on the feeling of her large breasts pressing against his chest, which did not help steady his nerves in the slightest.

"It is okay, you have nothing to worry about. Just remember that you are supposed to be learning here, so at least try to copy Hinako-chan. Okay?"

Ranma nodded, trying to mimic her hand motions while remembering some of the techniques he had gained during his time under Kasumi's instruction. Their car had gone around a couple of times before his tension started to fade, by which point, Hinako had lost herself in the feeling of his strong hands kneading any tightness out of her muscles. He instinctively nuzzled closer, his warm breath tickling her earlobe, with moist lips occasionally brushing her neck, and causing her to let out a soft gasp.

Hinako tossed her head back, hair blowing in the night breeze as they heard the clank of the latch on the door opening and they quickly separated. They gathered their things to the sounds of stifled giggles and exited the ride, blushing in embarrassment at being caught snuggling in each other's arms. They quickly thanked the operators as they hurried away from the attraction and staring eyes.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Welcome to Ooedo Onsen Monogatari! Are you just visiting, or would you like to stay in a private room this evening? If you are just using the baths and attractions, there are economy sleeping arrangements if you have a need. We do not charge for their use, but space is limited. There is one room with reclining chairs, each with a television for the women, where you may nap, and for the men, we have capsule rooms."

Ranma glanced over toward his companion with a quizzical expression.

Hinako hardly hesitated as she quickly replied, "A private room if you please."

"Very good, the cost of the baths is included in your room rental, give me a moment to get your wristbands."

"Bathing without Onii-chan would be boring, do you have a time for mixed bathing?"

"No ma'am. However, outside of the main baths, most of the rest of the areas are coed, from the foot baths, to the outdoor pool, though you will need a bathing suit for that." Ranma looked a bit relieved at the man's stern admission. "That said, since you are getting a private room, you will have a smaller bath to yourselves, and you may do what you like there." Turning around with a wink, he presented each of them with a cloth wristband, each with a barcode inside of a waterproof pocket. "Do not lose these, they are your identification while you are here, any service you wish to access that is not included, or any item you wish to purchase while you are here will be charged to your room by scanning it, so you do not need to carry money in the baths, and if you open the flap, you will find the key to your room and lockers. Now, if you would like to pick a pattern, you may go to the changing rooms to get fitted for your yukata."

Hinako was a bit disappointed that they did not have a solid yellow style for women, so she chose a dark purple cloth with a floral pattern that included yellow flowers. "I will take number nine then."

The young man nodded, handing her a small bundle as she started toward the fitting rooms, before he stopped her. "I am sorry, but I will have to ask that you not take your pets into the changing room. I will watch them here, or if you prefer, we can take them up to your room while you get changed..."

"Okay, please be careful with them, they are very precious to me." Turning to the fish, she placed her hand on the bowl. "I will be right back."

"Do not worry, no harm will come to them, I swear to you. Now, for you Sir?"

"Number four, I guess."

"Very good, if you will step this way?"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

As Ranma exited the fitting rooms, the young man at the counter stopped him with a wave. "Your ...'sister' should be out in a moment. I am not certain what happened, but there was apparently an issue with the size. I must have mixed up the stacks, I am terribly sorry."

"Hey, ain't no problem, accidents happen, right?" As the man nodded, Ranma glanced over at the fishbowl, and figured out what might have happened. He was not entirely surprised then, when a tiny Hinako came rushing out through the curtain, only to grow to her full size the moment she came into view. The sash on her yukata managed to keep it together at her waist, though her cleavage suddenly became very visible, and the hem of her robe barely came to her knees.

She eyed Ranma in his navy-blue and gray vertical stripes, grinning at the way he was looking at her. "Onii-chan, you look very handsome in your yukata." Nervously, Ranma rubbed the back of his neck with a chuckle. "Are you not going to say anything back to me?"

"Uh, thanks?"

"ONII-CHAN!" Her voice was sharp, and cut quickly to his core. "You should always complement how a woman looks in an outfit, especially if it is your date!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, ya do look nice, though..."

"Thank you, Onii-chan! Shall we go soak our feet?"

"Sure, but ain't it a bit small fer ya?"

"So, you do not like it after all?"

"No, I do! Sorry!" Ranma bowed deeply, hoping not to 'upset' her any further.

"You know, most boys would be excited to see their date looking like this? Just look at those guys..." She nodded toward several young men who were openly gawking at her.

"D'ya want me ta...?"

"No, no, do not worry about them, we are all that matters tonight. Shall we go, O-ni-i-chan?" Much to the disappointment of several of the onlookers, Hinako linked arms with Ranma, looking for signs pointing the way.

Seeing her hands were busy, Ranma balanced her fishbowl on his head before allowing himself to be dragged off by the arm. Hurrying through the doors, both of them hesitated for a moment as they came to the next area and they took in all of the attractions. Bright and colorful decorations, covered almost everything, bamboo umbrellas and characters from various anime concealed much of the walls, and the sounds coming from the people enjoying themselves nearly bowled them over.

"It's like a festival!" Hinako's eyes darted between the various games, food stalls, and other stalls. "Where should we go first, one of the toy scooping booths, the shooting gallery, ring-toss, video games, fortune telling, snacks, see a show, or what?"

"Ya don't want ta go ta th' baths no more?"

"Sure I do, let's go!" Still hanging onto his arm, she rushed forward. "Oooo, masks! I want a Doraemon! Which one do you want?"

"It's fine, I don't want nuthin' like that..." The cartoon cat might not have been enough to set off his fear, but it certainly would not have been HIS first choice.

"Oh, now do not be like that, if you do not pick one, I will."

"Whatever, I don't care..."

"Oh? Then how about that cute pony, the bunny, or maybe that kitty over there?"

"Okay! I care! Just give me that one!" In his panic, Ranma pointed to the first male human-looking mask he saw.

"Oh? I would bet Onii-chan would make a good Lupin the Third, though we might have to hide your pigtail." As she helped him put his mask on, she tucked his braid into the back of his robe. "There you go!"

She adjusted her own mask so that it was off to the side, on top of her head, as she waited for her wristband to be scanned. "Thank you very much, young lady. You make a cute couple."

"Thanks, but that's my 'onii-chan'!"

The vendor blinked several times, glancing between them before deciding not to question it. "Well, I hope that you and your brother enjoy your stay."

As they continued to make their way toward the bathing areas, once again something caught Hinako's eye. "Oooo... The new Gunsmith Cats manga! That Rally really takes care of those delinquents!"

"Really? Ya don't think they're th'...? Oh ferget it." Happy to let her read and leave him alone, he started leafing through a few of the comic books as well to pass the time. He could not deny that he was enjoying himself, even if the energetic instructor could be a bit much to handle at times. He briefly wondered what some of the others would have been doing if they had been there with them, and how much more calm things would be if Kasumi had been there.

"Onii-chan, let's get a snack!"

"Can't argue with that logic!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

After shaved ice, cotton candy, two crepes, and a chocolate-banana waffle sandwich, they enjoyed an enormous ice cream sundae between them as they made small talk. "Thanks for winning more prizes for me, you are the best Onii-chan!"

"Hey, it ain't no big deal."

"Maybe not to you, but it means a lot to me."

"Yeah, well, thanks fer buyin' me all this food!" Trying to rub the back of his neck felt weird with his braid tucked into his collar.

"Of course! You paid on our first date after all..."

"I did? Wait, we did?"

"Yes, back when I first moved to Nerima, you took me around to see the town. Don't you remember?"

Ranma suddenly remembered that 'date', as he tried to talk her into showing him how to use her technique. He had taken a lot of flack for that day, no one believed him, no matter how much he had denied that it was really a date, but seeing the look on her face, he could not say it aloud. He got a feeling that it would hurt her feelings if he blurted that out and he managed to keep his mouth shut, surprising himself. "Oh yeah... It was 'nice', 'til Akane and Ryoga attacked."

"And you took that coin from me."

"Heh, yeah, sorry 'bout that. I was desperate ta learn yer trick, since it seemed like it was from our school, an' it could take down th' old freak. So since nobody'll listen ta me once they start yellin' anyway, I couldn't think a' nuthin' else."

"It is fine, I forgave you for that a long time ago. It is as you said, 'it was just a crummy five yen', you had spent far more money than that on me already by that point. I would not have made a big deal about it at the time, if I had not listened to those others and taken their word about your character over my own judgment. I allowed that one incident to override all of the other good deeds I had already witnessed and taint my opinion. It was my single largest failure as a disciplinarian."

Ranma was not so certain, he could think of a number of examples of things he personally felt were worse, such as draining large swaths of the student body in their fight, but he was not going to ruin the mood by pointing that out to her. "Hey, it's okay, ya know, I'm used ta people not believin' me."

"Still? You have a house full of people who believe in you."

"Sort a', I guess, most a' th' time. I still get looks a suspicion from some a' 'em, ya know?" Though he had to admit that it was nice to have at least a couple of people who essentially trusted him most of the time, even if it still felt strange to him. "Pretty much everybody got somethin' they don't trust me about."

"I have faith in you, Onii-chan!"

"Yeah, but Mom don't always think I'm 'manly' enough, an' Ucchan sometimes's lookin' at me like Akane used ta, even Shampoo sometimes acts like I'm lyin'."

Hinako was having a hard time finding an argument for his declaration. "I-, I'm sure that they all trust you more than it might seem, after all, even the closest people occasionally have some issues, right?"

"Hum? Yeah, I guess..."

"Listen, when I was younger and still hospitalized, I would overhear my parents fighting once in a while. No matter how much they loved each other, some things can cause tension between people. They were both worried about me, and would occasionally take their frustration at not being able to help me out on each other. It was not the healthiest way to act, but they understood that neither of them were mad at each other, and they came out of it stronger for it. That said, if someone is always mad at you, then you need to look at the situation, and see what could be the matter. Until we can figure out the cause, we will not be able to fix it, will we?"

"Yeah, but, I tried with Akane, an' never could figure out what I was doin' wrong..."

"When I said you need to look and see what was wrong, I did not say that it was necessarily you who was at fault. It could be, but it might not be as well, every situation is different."

"How'm I supposed ta know?"

"For that, you need to pay attention to the subtle hints from the people around you. For example, watch my face, and tell me what you think I am feeling, okay?"

"I don't know, happy, I guess?"

"Good! Now keep going, just think of this as the martial arts of social interaction..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Ow!" She stumbled as she waded through the foot-baths, the small stones hurting her tender feet.

"Ya all right, Hinako-chan?"

"More or less. Are we really supposed to be walking in here? Most people are sitting on the sidelines..."

"Yeah, it's supposed ta massage yer soles as ya walk. Doesn't it feel good?"

"Well, the larger rocks do not feel too bad, but the tiny ones can be a bit much..."

"Yeah, they kind of tickle..."

"How tough ARE your feet?"

Ranma shrugged, not exactly sure how to answer that question. "There's an empty spot on the side, ya want me ta carry ya over there?"

"PIGGYBACK RIDE!" A sudden shift in mood, she hopped onto his broad back, wrapping her arms around his neck, and waiting for him to catch her legs so they would not fall.

"Excited?"

"Good job. Keep working on it, and it will come naturally to you, then you just need to watch to see what it is that triggers those more unpleasant responses in the women in your life. If you are able to see when those reactions occur, it should be easier to figure out what is causing them in each person."

"Thanks, it ain't too hard if I watch yer aura too, but I still ain't sure I can figure out why people're gettin' mad most a' th' time..."

"I know! When we go to our room, we can watch television, and you can try to read the mood in the stories!"

"I guess that makes sense, but ya sure ya ain't just tryin' ta watch T.V.?"

Looking coy, she answered shyly. "It depends on what we watch..."

"Yeah, right..."

One of the people sitting near them leaned over to ask them a question. "Is there a costume contest tonight?"

Hinako turned to her 'neighbor', she loved to see people 'dress up'. "Not that I know of, have you heard of anything?"

"No, it was just that the two of you seemed like you were going to enter one. I have never seen a better Lupin and Fujiko pair in my life!"

"Well, thank you..."

"Hinako?"

"Yes, Onii-chan?"

"I'm kind a' hungry, ya want ta go grab a snack?"

Hinako looked confused for a moment, but her face lit up at the prospect of a treat, and she was quickly on her feet. "Okay, Onii-chan!" After hopping to her feet, she turned to bow toward the fellow who had been talking to her, and followed Ranma away from the foot baths. "I can't believe you are hungry again already!"

"I'm not, not really... It's just, ya just looked a bit uncomfortable back there, so I wanted ta help."

Hinako looked him over from head to foot with a critical eye. "Well done, Onii-chan, you are definitely improving! As a reward, let's go get you a treat!" She thought about what snack she wanted to try next.

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NOTES

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In reality, the Rainbow Bridge started construction in 1987, and did not finish until 1993, where as the Ferris Wheel they were on was not built until 1999. I did not realize this until I had almost finished the scene in question, so I said that the bridge was almost finished, and we will have to assume the Ferris wheel was an older one in their world, that was later replaced by the real one they have now. Sorry about the mistakes.

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Omake 16 {The idea for this was suggested by my new helper, Balrog}

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Ranma had just returned home with his new 'employees' close in tow, visions of making out with the two girls continually flashing through his mind, and filling him with both dismay and ...other feelings that were both confusing and tantalizing him at the same time. "Tadaima!"

"Ranma! Welcome home you three!" Nodoka came running around the corner, greeting them in the entryway. "How did your date go?" Seeing the pair grow flush at her question, she smiled. "Good, good! I made some tea. Come, come, tell me all about it."

They started to follow her to to kitchen, when she stopped right in front of her son. "Ranma, Honey, why have you not properly greeted your mother?"

"But, I said-..."

"No, no..." Nodoka looked into his face while pointed at her cheek. "Give your mother a kiss."

Startled, Ranma tried to back-up, but she placed her hands upon her shoulders, preventing his rertreat. Seeing her face getting closer to him, and being unable to resist her wishes, he panicked, not wanting a repeat of earlier that day when Shampoo almost had a nervous breakdown. Without thinking, his new instincts kicked in, and ended up kissing her on the lips, something that had gained him good results all day.

"Aiyaaaa...!"

"Oh my!"

Nodoka was astonished by how forward her son was acting, quickly became putty in his arms as her lips parted and their tongues began to wrestle. "How mmmmmmmmmmaaaaanly!"

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How will our date end? Find out next time when we bring you, 'Ferris Wheel's Day Off', or 'Mixed Bathhouse Hilarity'.


	46. Chapter 46

Warning: Anyone not enjoying this story should have stopped reading by now.

Chapter 46 - Funny Fishies

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Hearing the giggles coming from behind him, Ranma dumped the bucket of warm water over his head, before cocking it to the side. "What's so funny?"

"I was just remembering how the Garra rufa felt!"

"Oh, those little fish that nibbled at our feet?"

"Exactly, the doctor fish really tickle." Giggles escaped her lips again as she shivered at the phantom feeling of the tiny fish feeding on her feet. "But they have never felt so smooth!"

"Really?" Ranma had barely noticed, no matter how many of the tiny creatures nibbled on him, they barely made a dent on his heavy calluses.

"Hurry up, get in here and you can feel for yourself! What is taking so long anyway?"

"Nuthin', I just ain't, ya know..."

Hearing the melancholy enter his voice, she thought maybe he needed a bit of encouragement. "Do you need me to finish washing you?" Hinako started to stand, but paused at his sudden movement.

Dumping another bucket over his head, Ranma hopped up from the stool and into the tub in one swift motion, only to quickly find Hinako's feet in his lap, almost brushing his manhood! "Urk! What ya doin' there?"

"Feel them! Feel how smooth they are! Isn't my skin just SO soft?"

"Oh yeah, just like silk." Ranma's eyebrow rose as she jumped the moment he touched the bottom of her feet.

"Onii-chan!"

With one hand, he held her ankles, and with the other, he lightly ran his fingertips over her soles, grinning as she squirmed in place, and Ranma quickly planned his revenge for the discomfort she had put him through.

"Hey! No fair, my feet are more sensitive now!" While she was happy that he was relaxing more, she wished he had chosen another way to express himself.

"But yer expression shows you are having fun, am I wrong?" Ranma increased his tickling, paying attention to what got the biggest reactions, and concentrating on those spots.

Having trouble breathing, she tried to talk between her laughter. "Not entirely ...but I ...would still LIKE it, if you ...would STOP! Please?"

"Make me!" Sticking out his tongue, he winked just before he was splashed in the face.

Thrashing about, she looked for anything circular she could use, but there was nothing in reach that would serve her purpose. She briefly considered launching a 'No Coin Return', but did not want to have to pay for the damages if she broke the furo, so instead, she cupped her hands together and splashed him with the largest wave she could form.

"HA! Ya think that'll stop me?" Not to be outdone, Ranma redoubled his efforts, increasing his tickling speed, and making certain her feet could not move.

Unable to free herself, Hinako bent her knees, scooting closer to her target. "Now I've got you!" She was having a difficult time finding any places where Ranma was even remotely ticklish, though not for lack of trying...

In part to defend himself, Ranma switched from attacking her feet, and moved toward her sides. "Oh no ya don't!"

"No fair! Why are you not ticklish?"

Ranma just shrugged, continuing his assault.

Seeing her tickling technique failing, she had few other ideas, and only wanted him to stop, at least long enough to catch her breath! Out of desperation, she threw her arms around him, trapping his arms, and pulling him into her chest.

His face trapped between her breasts, Ranma froze on the spot. He knew he could easily break free, but he did not want to hurt her, the same reason he had not prevented her from bending her legs, for fear of breaking them.

Finally having gained the upper 'hand', Hinako's giggles turned into chuckles. "Just as I told you, you unnerve far too easily around women." Hugging him tightly to her chest, she wriggled in place. "You really ought to do something about that weakness."

'I'll show ya who's weak!' Keeping his eyes closed, Ranma sorted through all of the new techniques he had learned recently, trying to figure out what might work best in his situation. With his arms pinned to his sides, he used his tongue to attack anything in range, and her reactions changed immediately. Her laughter died as she gasped, her breath catching in her throat. Her arms loosened as he pursued his onslaught, allowing his hands to join the fray, aiming for any sensitive spot he could easily find along her sides.

"Oh-Oh-Onii-chan?" Hinako's breathing grew heavy, as she tried to resist the instincts telling her to respond in kind. Her moans echoed off of the tile walls, making them seem even louder than they were, as her body unconsciously nudged his mouth toward her right nipple. "Oh, oh, ooooooooooo... You really should stop this..."

"Huh?" Ranma halted his ministrations, uncertain what he did wrong. "But, ain't this what all a' ya said was what I was supposed ta do on a date?"

"No, it IS, but... Oooooo...!" Not wanting to lose the upper-hand, the moment she told him that he was not mistaken, he resumed his onslaught. She wanted to explain that this was really something for more 'advanced' dating than they were doing, however his head slowly sunk below the level of the water, preventing her voice from being heard even if she could form full, coherent sentences. She wanted to stop him, but as he passed her bellybutton, the memories of how she felt the last time Nodoka had made him 'practice' on her came flooding back, and she instinctually spread her legs, allowing him to proceed.

Part of her mind was concerned about how long he would be able to hold his breath, though that thought was easily drowned-out by wave after wave of pleasure filling her being, she decided that he had to know his own limits for for holding his breath. Even if they had done this before, she felt incredibly guilty about allowing it to go this far, though she could not muster up enough strength of will to do anything about it, and her sighs of pleasure echoing around the room only served to amplify her gratification.

There was something so very titillating about allowing a young man, who was essentially her student, to do such things to her, perhaps because it was so taboo, and she was finding herself unable to resist the feeling of felicity. As the excitement welled in her loins, she felt herself being lifted onto the side of the large bath, with her back against the wall, and holding on for dear life. Her knees were resting upon his shoulders, and her hands tightly gripped the edges of the tub. As he dove deeper, her ankles locked together and she cried out. "Oooooh-niiiiii-chaaaaaan!"

Once her legs no longer had the strength to hold him in place, his drenched face looked up and into hers with a cocky grin. "So, ya still think I'm 'weak'?"

It took Hinako several moments before she had recovered enough to gasp out a response. "What ...am I going ..to do, with you?"

"What about those wrestling moves ya promised ta teach me? Maybe ya could a' tried ta use 'em ta get out a' that, ya think?"

"No, no, that would only made things worse at that point. Those moves are not really for 'fighting', though some might consider it a battle of sorts."

Ranma had started to lose interest, though the idea of a 'battle' brought him back. "What do ya mean?"

"Let us get you cleaned, and I will try to explain."

"'Kay." Ranma hopped out of the furo, and started washing his face with the warm shower, glad that they had the option.

Rotating her body to the side, she tried to stand, only to have her legs give out from under her, and landing unceremoniously on her rump. "Eeep!"

"Ya okay?" Ranma blushed, 'mostly' closing his eyes once he turned to see her sitting beside the tub, legs spread wide, and her body slumping slightly forward.

With am embarrassed chuckle, Hinako looked up from the floor. "My legs feel like rubber, I cannot stand right now... Would you, hand me a washcloth please?"

Shrugging, Ranma easily lifted her into his arms, and placed her on the wash-stool. Before she was able to react, he already had the wet rag in hand, and was gently washing her back. "Ooooo, you are also very good at this..."

"Yeah, Pops always made me do it... but I never cared about doin' it soft 'til th' girls started ta make me do it... With Pops, I didn't want ta do it, so I was always as rough as possible...!"

"So, then you WANT to wash us?" The playful tone returned to her voice as she teased him for his choice of words.

"Well, it ain't like that! It's just, unlike with Pops, I don't want ta hurt ya..."

"You know, you do not need to keep your eyes closed while doing this, I would not be here if I did not trust you enough to look at me."

"That's all right, I'd rather not-..." While he was starting to realize that no one was going to attack him for doing things like this with these women, it was himself he was starting not to trust, in these situations. The more he thought about what he was doing on these 'dates', the stranger he felt, as if he were going to lose a piece of himself if he was not 'careful'.

"Do you find me ugly then?"

"NO! ...It's just, yer really cute, and I don't-..."

She had been called many things in her adult form, but never 'cute', that was typically reserved for her childish side! It was strange to her, but it made her feel younger again, and she squealed in delight. No one had ever pampered her like this before, and she was finding herself unable to want it to stop, so she chose to allow him to continue as she attempted to gather her thoughts. "You see, the 'battles' you were seeing in those books, were not 'fought' out of anger, they were acts of love."

"Huh? Some a' 'em looked ta be in pain!"

"Yes it can appear that way at times, not to mention there are some people out there who actually enjoy that sort of thing as well..."

Ranma considered that for a moment as a number of faces flashed through his mind, and came to the conclusion that he might actually know some people who had those tendencies himself!

"Those people were not 'fighting', they were 'making love'."

"What'd ya mean?"

"'Sex'. Those classes we were having, until they were interrupted by your mother's recent ...'plans'."

Ranma thought back on the 'classes' they has been giving him, trying to remember what they had covered, he had not had a lot of interest in what they had been saying, so he had tuned out most of it. There were two main points that stuck out to him as he thought back. "So wait, is it th' parts about like what we were doin' a bit ago, er was it th' part about babies?"

"Well, both, it is all related."

"What?" He started to worry that he might have kids now.

"The main reason for the main act to exist is for procreation, however, that is not the only reason we do it. It can be done to make children, but it can also help reaffirm your love for your partner, or simply feel 'incredibly' good! As what you did to me a few moments ago," Hinako blushed as she could still feel his fingers and tongue caressing some of her more sensitive spots. "Not every act needs to be for reproducing, many can simply be for enjoyment. Your mother might like you to think that having children is the ultimate goal, though you do not need to do that if you are not ready, and there are many ways to prevent it until you are. For starters, every technique you have learned so far, that I have seen, can be done for fun without risk of pregnancy."

He suddenly felt a wave of relief crash into him, quickly followed by another. "So, you ...'liked' it?"

"Of course I 'loved' it, we all did! Though, you should really only do that sort of thing with your actual girlfriends."

"Then, why did we do that before?"

"Because your mother wanted you to practice on as many people as possible."

"But why'd ya agree?"

Hinako was not exactly certain of that herself, the older woman was quite persuasive! She chose to focus on the Saotome in front of her, and do her best she could for his 'education'. "Because I want to help you, to teach you everything you have missed with your father, and to become a well-adjusted adult. While I personally consider many things far more important, you will need to learn to be intimate with others if you are going to eventually get married and have a family. Do you not want that?"

"Not really, I mean, I don't NOT want it, but I just never really had a choice about nuthin. Other 'an trainin', I don't really care that much about nuthin else. Well, I mean, I want ta get rid a' this dumb curse, an' I want ta help protect the people who can't do it themselves, but... I don't know, it's just so much ta think about, ya know?"

"You are correct, there IS a lot to think about when deciding what you want to do with your life, and it does not help when other people are insisting they know what is best for you." As he moved to rinse-out his towel, she grabbed his face, and stared at him until he opened his eyes. "I do not want to make any decisions for you, I simply want to give you the proper knowledge to make them yourself."

"Thanks? But, why do I gotta choose anything this soon? It ain't likely I'll get ta pick anything anyway, if I make it ta th' age a' majority without someone makin' me get married, I'll be shocked."

"I am not certain what I can do about all of your problems, but I promise you, that I will do everything in my power to make certain that you will not be forced to marry anyone against your will, even if it means that I have to fight to fully adopt you myself!"

"It's okay, ya ain't gotta do nuthin' stupid, it ain't like it's yer problem..."

"Perhaps not directly, but you were my student, and even if you never return to my actual class, I will always care about what happens to you." She brushed his hair back with her fingers while trying to look into his eyes reassuringly.

"Really? So ya'd do this with any a' yer students, eh?"

She did not have to think about that for long as she softly shook her head. "No, you are a 'very' special case, O-nii-chan. You are an amazing young man, but we have certain ...deficits that we need to correct in your education, so that you may realize your full potential. I want to see you succeed in all of your goals and more."

"I just want ta be th' best fighter I can be!"

"True, but you could also be the best at other things as well. There is no reason you cannot learn other 'techniques', your school is 'anything goes', is it not?"

"What'd ya mean?"

"Well, take what you just did, that was an 'AMAZING' technique, every woman you ever date will appreciate you being better at it than anyone they have ever known, and that is just a small fraction of what there is to learn on that topic alone!"

Ranma thought about that for a moment, he still found this sort of thing incredibly embarrassing, and the more he thought about it, the worse it would get. However, he kept going back to the idea of it being a battle of sorts, or rather more of a 'competition', as it were, and he DID like learning new skills... "So yer gonna show me how ta do more a' these moves like ya said?"

Hinako was silent for a long moment, she HAD promised him, even if she was feeling a bit guilty about how much she was enjoying it, while simultaneously trying to deny that she was doing just that. "Okay, but we cannot go all the way."

"To where? We have to go somewhere? Why can't we just do it here?"

"'Do ...it ...here'?" Her voice weak, Hinako had to shake her head to get the image out of her mind. "We cannot 'do it' at all."

"No? But ya said ya were gonna teach me stuff..."

"I am."

"But, not here?"

Hinako's head hung about as low as it could go. "No, here is fine. Just, do as I say, okay?"

"Okay!" With Ranma's confusion abated, his curious smile quickly returned. "Where should I start then?"

A wicked thought crossed her mind matching the grin that formed on her lips. "How about you begin by washing the rest of my body ...without the washcloth."

Ranma considered that, Shampoo and Ukyo HAD kept trying to get him to wash them as well, so perhaps there was something to that. Still wanting to stay as far away from 'certain areas' as possible, as it was rather embarrassing when he had time to think about it, he started with her feet again, giving Hinako a bit of a start. Her nervous expression relaxed considerably as he gently attended to her without so much as a tickle. His strong hands lightly massaged her soles before working over the rest of her feet, and starting on her calves.

She could almost feel an electricity coming from his fingertips as they worked over her lower legs. "Do you always wash like this?"

"No, I usually use a towel... Am I doin' it wrong? Ya ain't really shown me how it works yet..."

"You are doing very well, I need to see what you know naturally, before I can give you any tips. However, for now, this goes back to our earlier lessons, you need to be able to tell if you are doing well, by paying attention to my expressions and reactions, you will have to actually look at me, and watch for the signs."

While he would prefer to simply try to stay attuned to her aura, he knew that sometimes the reason for certain trainings were not always obvious at first, so he slowly raised his eye level from her feet, to her face, causing him to take in everything in the process. He had always known that the older woman had an amazing figure that most men or women would die for, but he rarely allowed that to affect him, though for some reason at that moment, something hit him differently about her appearance and he was momentarily awe-struck. Her taunt muscles, her heaving chest, and her expression of rapture, all combined into an enticing package that left him breathless. "Oh my..."

"Hmmm... Why did you stop?"

"Oh, oh, sorry..." After slowly working his way up her thigh, he caught another glimpse of where that was leading, and quickly switched to her hands, starting with her fingers. By the time he had worked his way up to her shoulders, he was beginning to waver.

"The onii-chan who hesitates is lost. If you are not ready yet, why not wash my hair next?" She winked at him as she pulled her long hair over her shoulder, twirling a strand of it around her finger.

"Huh? Oh, okay..." With some of the tension off of his mind, Ranma started to unwind as his fingers massaged the shampoo into Hinako's scalp as she started having trouble staying upright. With her back leaning against his chest, he slowly ran his fingers through her hair, making sure that he washed every centimeter of it. She made it a bit difficult as she kept leaning her head against his shoulders, no matter how many times he lifted it back up.

As he finished rinsing out the lather, her arms went back and she locked her fingers behind his neck. "V-e-r-y nice-ly done... Now, you have a job to finish, do you not?"

"Urk...!"

"Now, now, remember, this is 'training'... You will not get the full benefit if you cut corners."

Ranma had no words to argue that point, it may not always be initially obvious, but he knew most training had a purpose, like with the breaking point. He tried to ignore what he was doing as he let his hands run on instinct and washed Hinako's chest and belly, though he could not help but notice how she reacted to him touching certain places. At first it made him nervous as she gasped, but she had assured him that he was not doing anything wrong, and in fact she had loved it. Ranma was not exactly sure how someone could 'enjoy' being washed, but he was far too busy trying not to look at what he was doing to worry about it for very long.

"What happened to my bold onii-chan from a little while ago? Do you lose your power when you dry off? Should I splash you and see? ...Or maybe are you just chickening-out on me?"

"Hey! I ain't no chicken!"

"Then prove it to me!"

"FINE! I will!" Ranma closed his eyes, breathing deeply, and bracing himself for whatever might happen next as he lathered-up his hands. "I hope yer ready!"

"Remember, be gentle, women are delicate there, and 'always' take your time."

"'Soft and slow', got it..." Her hands first guided his toward her backside, where his soapy fingers lightly kneaded her muscles. With her gasp not jarring him as much this time, he managed to barely hesitate as her breathing increased. Her aura and expression were giving off a 'sense of urgency' that made it difficult for him to maintain his own calmness, not to mention he was supposed to use her reactions to gauge how he was to proceed. Trying to both observe and ignore her reactions had proved to be impossible to do simultaneously, though he could lessen his discomfort somewhat by tuning her in and out as he progressed. The more he practiced, the longer he was able to listen to her before it would get to him and he would need to try to ignore her responses again.

Hinako was having trouble focusing on anything beyond how his fingers were making him feel, and by the time he had finished washing her entire pelvic region, her entire body was trembling.

"How'zat?"

"Puuuuurrrrrrrfect." Hinako slid off of the bench, and over into the corner. "You paaassss... Lesson two, do that to yourself as a girl, just like that. Remember where I reacted, and concentrate on those areas. No two people are exactly the same, but you should be able to get close, and use their reactions to see how each of us varies. Don't stop for at least ...twenty minutes or something."

"Ah...?" Before Ranma could respond, she had laid her head on the cool tile, and closed her eyes. With a heavy sigh, Ranma reached for the cool water, dousing himself as the familiar change came over him. "Twenty minutes, on one place? I ain't THAT dirty!" While he did not mind soaking for that long, he had never been so filthy that he required more than a few minutes per area, not even at his old speed anyway... Even considering that he was supposed to go 'slowly and softly' as he did this, he thought it was somewhat excessive. He remembered that his mother had told him to do that as part of his 'homework', but he had not really felt comfortable with it, and stopped.

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"Do not worry my dear, that is a perfectly natural response."

"Oh, oh my!"

"Here, try another one." Nodoka held out the small tray she had been holding.

"What is in them?" Accepting one of the small jellies, Kasumi looked at the small colorful treat before popping it into her mouth. "They are just so ...fruity!"

"I started with a bespoke lingonberry gelatin, and then added quite a bit of sake!" With a smile, Nodoka winked at the younger woman.

"Is that a mikan slice in there?"

"Oh yes, the citrus really ties the whole package together, it truly is a nice thing."

"Yes, I have to agree, they are quite lovely."

"After my husband took Ranma from me, I would start many a day with several of those!"

"Oh my..." Kasumi's fingers covered her mouth like a fan as she looked on in surprise.

"Do not be concerned, I doubt you will have to worry about such things if you are with my Ranma."

"What is about Airen?" Seeing the fruity Jell-O shooters as she entered the room, Shampoo quickly slurped one into her mouth before anyone could react. "Aiyaaaa... Is too too good!"

"Oh dear, those have alcohol in them, are you not still too young?"

"Depend on where is, no is true in 'China'! Shampoo have drink on few special time before."

"Ara?" Nodoka and Kasumi looked at each other with a shrug. "Well then, I suppose it is okay, but do not overdo it then."

"Shampoo thank! Can teach how make?"

"I suppose that would not be too difficult..."

"Oh, thank you, I would like to learn as well."

"We will need to go get a few more things, but we can make another batch tonight if you would like. What do you think, would Kuonji-san like to join us as well?"

"Pancake-Girl never come home when know Ranma stay out all night."

"Oh my... I had not noticed!"

The young woman grimaced. "Shampoo always know when that one here or no."

"It is nice to see young people getting along! Now, where were we? Oh yes...! While there are exceptions, most men fall into one of two categories, either you have a 'grower', or a 'shower'. Due to this, you never know what you are going to get until it is 'full'." Nodoka turned to Kasumi, and was surprised by the blushing girl trying not to look at her.

"Can it not be both?" Kasumi shyly glanced at Shampoo with a small smile on her lips.

"Is too too true!" Shampoo smirked back, with a bit of a distant expression.

"Oh, you sound as if...?" Nodoka suddenly grew silent as a broad grin almost filled her face. "How manly..."

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Hinako cracked her eyes open as she heard light panting from near her position on the floor, and saw Ranma-onna still following her instructions. She did not want to interrupt him as it seemed as though he was somewhat enjoying it, so she tried to stay still and not be noticed. The look on the young 'woman's face was alluring, and she was finding it challenging to avoid watching. Before long, her hands started moving of their own accord, her own breathing grew to match Ranma's, and she quickly brought herself to a light climax.

The light gasping coming from nearby alerted Ranma to Hinako regaining consciousness, and he was suddenly embarrassed by what he had been 'caught' doing. "I'm sorry, this ain't what it looks like!"

"It is okay, it only 'looks like' you were doing what I told you to do."

"What? Oh..."

"You are not doing anything wrong, this is what I wanted you doing right now."

"But...!" For some reason he could not help but to feel guilty about it.

"Do not worry, you are not in trouble, everything is fine. Tell me this, did it feel good when you were doing it?"

"Huh? Yeah, I guess so."

"That is good!"

"It is?"

"Of course! It means you are a perfectly healthy and normal young ma- ...person?"

"But, wha-...?"

"Do not stop, you are not done yet."

"How-...?"

"Oh, you will know when you are done, you can trust me on that."

"What'd ya mean?"

"Is it taking too long? Would you like me to help you this time?" Rolling over, Hinako pushed Ranma back against the tub, slowly lowering her face toward his loins.

"Wha-... What're ya doin'?"

"Helping. Go back to what you were doing and allow me to assist you, as you helped all of us." Holding Ranma's hands in place, she began to lick and nibble every sensitive spot she knew all too well on herself. While digging in deeply with her tongue, she massaged Ranma's breasts and teased his nipples, listening to his raspy breathing for clues. She gradually picked up her pace, grinning as he occasionally twitched in response to her efforts.

Hinako had never done this with another 'woman', so she was feeling rather pleased with herself at being able to elicit such reactions from the boy turned girl. She had only hoped that she could at least somewhat emulate what he had done to her based on what she could remember. She noted that Ranma's hands had almost stopped moving as his pelvis undulated beneath her, encouraging her to do everything in her power to help the teen fulfill the desire building up from within.

Panic warring with pleasure, Ranma had no idea how to deal with what he was feeling. He both wanted to run, while at the same time, he wondered what would happen if he saw it through, or would his brain shut down in self-defense like it did last time with Shampoo? Uncertain what to do, the young martial artist froze in place as the feelings washed over him like a tsunami. Heat radiated out from his pelvis, the looming hysteria instantly faded from his body, and every muscle in his cursed body tightened while the convulsions started to concern him a bit. He felt something strange overtaking him from deep within, it was both pleasant and painful at the same time, then suddenly, without any warning, he began to sweat profusely, and he felt as if a volcano erupted, spraying fiery lava all over his teacher's energetic face.

With warm liquid dripping from her face, Hinako looked up to see Ranma's expression of pleasure as his delightful squeals reached her ears, and she felt the joy of an instructor finally seeing a breakthrough with their student. "There you go, Onii-chan!"

Ranma was unaware of his surroundings for several moments, and as his eyes slowly came into focus, he saw Hinako's childish joy looking back at him. "Wha- ...what WAS that?"

After quickly washing her face, she turned back toward her 'date'. "You climaxed."

"I 'what'?"

"You remember, from our classes, you had an orgasm."

Ranma's brain was still foggy and he was feeling far too euphoric to think properly, but he had a vague memory. "So, ya mean...?"

"Yes, this is what you have done to us, many, many times now." She had already stopped counting how many she had already had that evening.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't do it 'cause I wanted ta, ya know...!"

"It is okay, in fact, you 'should' want to do that, at least when you love someone."

"Yeah, but, Mom-..."

"Stop it!" Ranma practically snapped to attention, considering his body felt like jello, and Hinako was still laying on his legs. "Never tell a woman that you did not want to make them feel good! That is not nice, Onii-chan!"

"What? I'm sorry! I-..."

"That is good, just never forget it. Remember what I told you, you need to be attentive to the people you are with, and react according to their mood. This means that you need to not only stop doing something if you are making them upset, but you also need to see what makes them happy, and remember that as well." Ranma nodded, but she could see the questioning look still upon his visage. "Part of being a good friend, includes helping your friends when they are down, and not making them upset when they are joyful."

Pulling herself forward, she slid across Ranma's body until their chests were touching, and could look into each other's eyes. "There are exceptions, and limits, but when you have made a woman feel that good, never tell them you did not mean to do it, it is the same as telling them that you want them to feel bad. How would you feel if someone did something nice for you, but when you went to thank them, they told you that they did not do it to make you happy?"

"What'd ya mean, 'if'? It used ta happen all th' time, been puttin' up with stuff like that fer most a' my life."

"Oh, right, I suppose you do know what it is like at that... Sorry."

"But, yeah, I get what ya mean, it don't feel nice."

"Exactly, nor is it normal. While no one should do anything their friends want without question, we should 'want' our friends to be happy, even if that occasionally means we have to do something they do not like, such as me wanting you to go back to school. I only want to help you grow into your potential."

With a shrug, Ranma let out a sigh. "Yeah, I know..." It was not as if he had actually dropped out by his own choice this time, but he could not say that he cared enough to fight it very hard either.

"Now, now, there is no need to be melancholy, this is a happy night! We are doing exactly what you wanted after all."

"What, we are? What'd ya mean?"

"Those 'wrestling moves' you wanted to learn, this one is your second lesson." Without giving Ranma a moment to react, she locked lips with the young martial artist, though it only took a moment for her tongue to be on the defensive as his instincts kicked into overdrive. She had to admit, her young student was a quick learner and was quickly teaching her a few things about kissing. She had not kissed many men in her life, and even fewer women, but few had ever managed to make her feel as though the rest of the world had crumbled away, as if they were simply floating together, wrapped in a warm blanket of aura.

She was trying to remember every technique, but every time she thought she had matched the rhythm, her partner would change it up on her. She had no idea how much had passed, but they continued to osculate until she was satisfied that there was little else either of them could learn. As she broke off the embrace, she felt a sudden longing that was unfamiliar to her, but she pushed it to the back of her mind. "Women love a good kisser, it implies that you might also be good at ...other things. Your next lesson is commonly called 'sixty-nine', or 'yinning your yang'."

"Really?" Something about that did not sound right to him, but the feeling of her spinning around on top of him distracted him from any further thoughts on the matter as her knees trapped his head in place.

Hinako did not want to admit that lacking much real world experience, she had gotten most of her information from adult comic books and films, so she tried to change the subject. Moving quickly, she grabbed the shower-head, and soaked them both in warm water. "There is my onii-chan! Now, you will do the same thing again, while I return the favor."

"Wait, what'd ya do that for?" Ranma suddenly felt far more awkward having returned to his natural male form.

"This is one of the lessons you must master, it is called 'fellatio', and receiving it is something some of your lady-friends will want to do to you." Hinako took Ranma's member in her hands, truly looking at it for the first time. She had always known he was 'healthy', but even flaccid, one of her hands was not enough hide it from view. "You wanted to learn everything in that magazine, did you not?"

Ranma had to keep his attention partially split, he allowed his tongue and hands to mostly run on automatic as he primarily focused on trying to keep his crotch from reacting, at least that was something he did not have to worry about as a girl. He knew the more he paid attention to what he was doing with Hinako, the less control he would have, there had been many times in his recent life where it had taken every bit of his willpower to remain inert, and it seemed to get harder every time.

Hinako had tried almost everything she knew with almost no reaction at all from Ranma, and she was starting to take it personally. She knew she was far from an expert, but she had been looking into the large collection of materials Nodoka had been leaving around the house in preparation for something similar to her present situation ever since Ranma had asked her about those 'wrestling moves', but this had gotten quite ridicules some time ago in her opinion. She had assumed that most guys his age would not have needed more than to see her unclothed adult body, but here she was going this far and he had barely twitched. "What is the matter Onii-chan, do you not want to be doing this with me, am I not cute enough?"

"What'd ya mean? That ain't true!"

"Then why will you not 'perform' for me? Would you prefer that I was a man, or maybe my 'other' form is more your speed?"

"Huh? HECK NO! Ain't I doin' good enough?"

"No, I mean ...oh never mind! I will show YOUUUUuuuuuuu...!" Hinako's back arched and she threw back her head as Ranma redoubled his efforts. Once her vision and head cleared a bit, she began to suck on her own fingers, making certain they were thoroughly wet. As gently as she was able, she felt around, looking to stimulate his prostate. She had not wanted to go that far, nor had she even expected to need to know such a thing, but his stubborn unit was not cooperating with her!

"WHOA! HEY! WHAT'RE YA DOIN'?"

Before he had finished his protest, she had located her target, and his body was responding without his conscious thought. "That's a good onii-chan! Stay nice and big for Hinako!" Her eyes went wide as she realized exactly how big that was. 'Might get lock-jaw...'

The offending finger retracted more quickly than it arrived, and the feeling of her tongue quickly made him forget that it had ever happened. "Ya mean, ya 'wanted' me ta get like that?"

"Oooooh yes... I-, I mean, 'how else are we going to do any of this'? You need to make your tool ready, before you can master its use."

Ranma was stunned, if this was what he was supposed to do, then he could not figure out why did it feel so ...'perverted', the thought of which made him freeze as the worry crept into his mind. His concern combined with the confusion of this grand revelation, had he truly put so much effort into something only to upset everyone? The whole point had been to PREVENT that! Kasumi had tried to hint at that once, but he could not believe it, even from her.

Somewhat relieved at the lack of attention her groin was receiving, Hinako managed to scrutinize her task a bit better. She had actually expected him to merely grow more firm, not actually increase in size. Even if she knew most men could enlarge many times over, but considering where he started, she never would have guessed it could be possible. She had secretly practiced this on certain foods, but she was not even certain that she would be able to get her mouth around it, let along devour all of it. After licking for a while, she went back to using her hands while she tried to juggle with her tongue.

Unable to contemplate anything else, Ranma's mind threatened to shut-down as the unbelievable sensations set-off explosions in his head. He could barely move other than an instinctive gyration of his pelvis, he was starting to sweat more profusely the longer things lasted, and he found himself unable to process these new sensations. As Hinako continued her work, he felt continuously more engorged, almost painfully so, until he felt as though he might explode at any moment. "Wait, I think I need ta-..."

"Do not worry about it."

"But, I'm gonna-...?"

"It is fine, just let it all out whenever you are ready ...O-ni-i-chan."

"But-...!"

"Go ahead, give Hinako your milk!"

"Huh?" With confusion distracting him, his control lapsed, and his body reacted on its own accord.

"Oh! So much!" After quickly licking her face clean, she resumed suckling on her 'straw'.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean ta-..."

"I told you that it was all right, this was what you were supposed to do."

"What? I was? ...Wait, that's not pee?"

"You should know this, did you not pay any attention in our classes?"

"I tried, it's just SO boring..."

"A teen-age boy, bored with sex... What is this world coming to? Do you STILL think it is boring?"

"Well, no, I guess not, but-..."

"No 'buts', you have missed out on this class twice now... Clearly, you are not the type to learn in a classroom, so I have no choice but to show you everything from the ground up!"

"But, why are ya still doin' that?"

"If you do not get every bit out, it could cause you some pain, this is for your own good..."

"Really?"

"Listen to your teacher!" As she milked the last drop, she sat up to face him. "Now, we will start at the very beginning." Taking hold of his hands, she guided them to various parts of her anatomy. "What is this called?"

"Elbow. Armpit. Neck. Mouth. Lips. Tongue. Oh, oh, oppai!" Unlike the other times, she held his hands in place.

"You need to grow accustomed to this feeling. Did you never play around with your own, in your other body?"

"NO! That'd be per-...!" Hinako kept his hands still with one of hers, while she placed a finger on his lips.

"...-fectly normal. It would be more strange if you did not, especially in your place."

"What'd ya mean?"

"I do not think there is a straight or bisexual male alive who would not if they had your 'curse'."

"Yeah, but most guys're per-..."

"...-fectly normal. It is completely natural for people to be interested in each other, and as a teen, your body is producing far more hormones than at any other time in your life, so of course you will want to explore your body, and others. You must always be careful, and never do anything with someone who does not want to do it with you, but there is nothing wrong with wanting to experiment, everyone does it on some level, even some other animals."

"Really?"

"Yes, now let us continue. What is this?"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"So then ya mean, all them books weren't really fightin' moves? It was this 'sex' stuff instead?"

"No, not really fighting, though as I said, it can be considered a 'battle' of sorts, between lovers, it is one you both can win, and doing it well will prevent a number of your problems. Few people want to fight with someone who can make them feel that good."

"I guess..."

"I know I do not want to fight after I finish."

"Humm..."

"As I said, this is not something you should do on just anyone, doing this with the wrong person could get you in far more trouble than just being called a 'pervert'."

"Well, who's the right person?"

"That is the big question, is it not?"

"Then, what's th' answer?"

"That depends on who you ask. Some wait until they are married, others do it with whomever they are dating, and others still are far less discerning."

"But, yer th' one I asked."

"Personally, I think it is best to be in love with the person..."

Ranma opened his eyes in shock, worry clearly written all over his face. "Are ya sayin'...?"

"Oh no, this is just practice, I am just your ...'private tutor', yes, that is all. We are just helping you learn what you missed in school, you just learn better with a more 'hands-on' approach! Yes, exactly!" Seeing a mix of relief and some bitterness, she quickly amended herself. "I DO care about you, Onii-chan, you are very important to me, just not like that."

"Like 'what'?"

"Like, I am not trying to marry you."

With a sigh, Ranma visibly relaxed. "But then ...why?"

"I want to help you, Onii-chan, you deserve to be happy."

"That's what Kasumi said, but why? Why'd ya care?"

"What? How could I not?"

"I don't know, most people don't, and th' ones that do, mostly only want somethin'. So, what ya want?"

"I want you to be a well adjusted adult."

"Yeah ...right."

"What, you think I am lying?"

"Naw, I just ain't never seen one. Ya got a unicorn ya want ta show me too?"

"A unicorn! Where?"

"Exactly..."

"What? Oh... That's mean, Onii-chan! I'll show you!" Darting forward, she licked and nibbled his earlobe, sending shivers down his spine, while she received immediate firmness against her stomach. "Oh? This guy is ready for action again, so it is time for your next lesson." Sliding down his glistening torso, her chest engulfing the newly energized part of his anatomy. "This is called 'paizuri'."

As he felt himself surrounded by Hinako's bosoms, the rest of his body stiffened to match his lower unit. "Wha-, why?"

"To make you feel good, and because you asked for my help."

"Now yer startin' ta sound like Shampoo..."

"Wo ai nii-chan!" She could feel him growing larger as she cooed, and with a giggle, she started to lick whatever poked out through her cleavage as though it were the tastiest lollipop she had ever eaten.

"ACK!" Ranma felt as though he were being sucked into her breasts and buried in marshmallows. "Oooooh..."

"Do not underestimate my technique, Onii-chan, I will make you happy, whether you want it or not!"

"It don't feel bad!"

"Good, now just lay back and let little Hinako licky-lickly sticky-sticky!"

Ranma was unable to resist for very long, the waves of pleasure radiated out from his groin, causing spasms throughout his frame. Micro-bursts were going off behind his eyes, and he could barely see what was happening, while once again his pelvis started moving on its own, thrusting rhythmically as the pressure intensified. Plunging deeply into her bust, his adrenaline soared, clouding his mind, as his hands reached to firmly hold Hinako's head, subconsciously guiding her where it felt best.

Hinako was surprised by his sudden boldness, but she was glad that he was finally getting into it, and on some level, it made her extremely happy to be able to help him feel that good and in control. He needed to gain some confidence in this area, if he was ever going to manage to make of those girls happy, and it in no way had anything to do with the tiny voice in the back on her mind telling her that she had not had many opportunities in her life, and she ought to be taking this one, no, not at all.

The feeling of a tsunami washed over him as his body twitched, firing off his payload, while trying to flex every muscle in his body. He was sweating profusely as his body shuddered, and he felt a wave of lethargy flow through him as he started to relax.

"Wow, that is even more than before, but you should always tell the girl before you finish."

"Huh? We're finished?" Ranma stretched out, enjoying the feeling of the cool tiles on his sweltering skin.

"Not by a long shot."

"Huh? What'd ya mean?"

"What you just did there, you need to warn someone when you do that, you are supposed to shout, 'iku'!"

"What, 'to go'? Where?"

"In this case, it means 'to cum'. You need to give the woman warning, so we are prepared. You would not want to choke someone, get that in their eye, or anything like that."

"Naw, but yer th' one that said ya didn't want me ta go ta th' can..."

"No, of course not, but what if I wanted to drink it, and you got it all over?"

"You what?"

"I have read that it is normal, and I wanted to try it ...meanie!" Scooping up what she could off of her chest, she licked her fingers. "Well, let us get ready for the next lesson." Taking the shower-head, she started to rinse herself before turning to spray Ranma, since he looked far too relaxed.

"Huh? What'd I do?"

"You got dirty, and we should stay squeaky clean as long as we are already in the furo... Come here and sit." Taking up a position behind him, she squirted some soap on his back, and began to work it into a foamy lather. As she scrubbed, her arms worked their way around to rub his chest, her breasts slowly rubbing up and down his back. She could feel the heat from his blushing face, even from behind, and she instinctively nuzzled the nape of his neck.

"SenSEI?"

"We are still on our date, what did I tell you earlier?"

"Yeah, but ya said yer teachin' me..."

"I am learning things as well, so let us just say we are 'study buddies' for now, okay?" Tantalizing as the idea was, she did not wish to think of him as her student during these particular 'lessons'.

"Yeah? Okay ...Hinako."

She felt a small thrill at hearing someone speak to her in such a familiar manner, and she hugged him from behind, her firm nipples pressing into his back. "That's better, Onii-chan!" As she continued scrubbing, she noticed something was starting to stir. "Oh! It looks as though your friend is almost ready for action again... So soon!"

"Is that bad? I can-..."

"No! That is very impressive! Women can keep right on going, but most guys need at least five to ten minutes to recharge, and there is usually a limit how many times they can do it in a row."

"That doesn't seem fair..."

"Not when you only look at that part of it, on the other hand many women go through life, never having one ever."

"Huh, what'd ya mean?"

"I hear that some men are either unskilled or uncaring enough to help their partner reach the finish-line, nor do those women learn how do get their on their own, and that is why you need to be better than that. Can you do it?"

"A' course I can! Who do ya think I am?"

"Then prove it to me, and learn your lessons well."

"Fine! What's next?"

"Pafu-pafu!" Hinako moved around to face him, with a quick glimpse toward his lap before being able to look him in the eyes.

"What?"

"Pafu-pafu ...this." Without further warning, she lurched forward, tackling him, and rubbing her slick breasts in his face!

"Urk!" Not being a fan of being pushed around, Ranma instinctively reached up to fend off the assault, his left hand grabbing her hip and his right bushing her side, sending shivers through her body, and her breasts to shake like gelatin.

"Oh yes, that is good, use your mouth more..."

"Huh?" As he was trying to decipher her sudden instruction, a trembling nipple grazed his lips and his tongue flicked out on impulse.

"Oooo, yes, keep going." Hinako moaned as she reached down to take his manhood into her soapy hand, slowly caressing him as she writhed against him.

With the positive reinforcement, Ranma gradually grew bolder, his hands alternating between gently stroking and massaging anything in reach while he suckled upon her bosoms like an infant.

Amidst heavy breaths, the leggy brunette managed to gasp out something about earning 'bonus points' as she failed to resist rubbing her pelvis against his knee and thigh. The sparks of electricity shooting through her body, causing her words to slur, her heart to pound, and her movements to accelerate. As she picked up speed, her grinding grew closer to him, and when their bodies made contact, she began to gyrate against his 'third leg', now plastered against her belly, sticky with soap and other fluids.

Ranma started to feel something rising up from within him, but remembering what he had been told, he tried to hold back the pending detonation. He thought he had finally gotten himself under control until her breathy voice started whispering into his ear, "Iku, iku, iiiiiikuuuuuuuuuuu..." Her throws of passion sent him over the edge, as he painted her torso white as relief flowed through him.

"Oh lookie, we got all dirty again!" Grabbing the shower-head, she rinsed them clean. "What do you say we take this to the bedroom as we wait for you to ...get ...ready ...again? Why are you still hard?"

"Didn't ya say I should try an' do better 'an them other guys? The less waiting, the more trainin' we can do, right? I thought that'd be a ...'good' thing?"

"Sugoi!" Hinako threw her arms around him as she jumped into his lap. "You really are amazing, Onii-chan!" Without hesitation, she locked lips with him, kissing him with more fervor than she knew she possessed. Finally breaking away from their embrace, she kept her arms around his neck and gazed into his eyes. "Shall we go to the other room, and move on to your next lesson?"

Nodding, Ranma waited a moment, but seeing that Hinako made no effort to move, he lifted her into his arms, and carried her into the main part of their hotel room before setting her down on the large bed. The look she gave him in return stirred something inside of him that helped him require less ki to maintain his 'firm' state and made him feel a bit lightheaded. "What'd ya want me ta do next?"

"You need to learn to take charge. While some women like to be in control in the bedroom, from what I can tell the ones you are dating would prefer if you take the lead. Normally, you would need to start with some foreplay, such as the many lessons we have covered up until now."

"So ya want me to do more a' that?"

"It is a good place to start, but then..." Leaning forward, she whispered various things into his ear before nipping at it lightly. As she leaned back onto the bed, she pulled him on top of her, and into her arms. Between kisses and his warm hands playing with her delicate flesh, she quivered in anticipation of what was to come. She could not tell if it was the excitement building, or her apprehension of being with a boy who was nearly a decade younger than her, as well as a former student, but she was no longer able to deny the fact that she wanted to him to continue, even if she felt like a stripper at a bachelor party taking the groom for his last night of 'freedom'. It did not make her proud, but it did add to the intoxicating feeling of arousal she was experiencing.

Ranma did his best to not only practice every technique he had learned recently, but to combine them in new ways based on Hinako's alluring reactions. By the time he had worked through most of what he knew, she had been reduced to little more than a panting mess, with one finger indicating that he should get closer to her. As he approached, her heavy breathing, flush face, and musky aroma filled his senses, further fogging his mind.

"If you are done playing around, how about you do the next thing I told you, okay?" She smiled as he nodded toward her with a blush. "You must first put this on, here, let Hinako-chan help you..." Tearing open the small package, she gently unrolled the contraceptive over his pulsing manhood, being careful not to snag any hair. "Very good, you must wear one of these whenever you do this with someone, in order to prevent pregnancy or possibly even diseases, especially if you do not know your partner well or they have been with many others. It is better to be safe than sorry."

Her statement made him curious, and he could not resist asking about it. "So, um, have ya been with many others?"

"That is not a polite question to ask a lady!"

"Then, how'm I supposed ta know?"

"That is why I told you that it is far better to take precautions, and not risk it. Some women may tell you, but some may not, and others may lie, it is never good to take chances with something so important."

"I see... I guess that makes sense. Like buildin' up yet battle aura, in case ya get hit."

"Yes, except this is to protect both of you. Now, are you ready to become a man?"

"...I guess?"

"Good enough, but you should learn to be more assertive." Looping her arms around his neck, she leaned back onto the bed, pulling him along with her as she brought their lips together with a heat she had never known. Hinako mentally sighed as she realized he was not going to take the initiative, and she reached down to help guide him.

Ranma had simply been allowing himself to be led along as they went, but the moment he was partially enveloped within the woman below him, something changed. His entire being felt focused on one point, and little else mattered until the smooth sliding had been interrupted by a feeling of tearing through something, and hearing an obviously pained gasp. "What? What happened? Are ya okay?"

Still wincing, Hinako tried to reassure him. "Yes, this is normal the first time for many women. I will be fine in a moment, that just hurt more than I expected."

"What, really? ...Wait, you mean, 'this' is yer first time? Why would ya do that?"

"For ...many reasons. Do not worry about it, I think I really needed this too. It is not as if I have ever been able to remain in my adult form long enough to do it properly before."

"I guess, but, yer bleeding here! Ya sure I didn't do somethin' wrong?"

"No, that is normal, women have a thin skin in there, that sometimes forms to prevent passage from one part to the other called a hymen. It does not always fully form, and it can be torn in other ways, either through rough activity or ...experimenting, but it is not something you will have to worry about most of the time."

"Good, I'd hate ta have ta hurt ya every time."

"No, it only happens the first time, but this is just practice, so it is a one-time event. You should be worrying about your girlfriends after this." Hinako felt a twang of disappointment in her chest, but she did not allow it to take her out of the moment, she was determined that they would both enjoy themselves, especially if it would be their only time together. Thanks to him, she would be able to have more normal relationships, and while she had no intention of keeping him to her self when so many others had claims on him, that did not mean that she could not repay him for everything she owed him, with both of them learning something in the process. At least his mother would be happy to learn ...wait! "Onii-chan, promise me one thing."

"Ya?"

"Promise me, that this will be a secret, just between us, you cannot tell ANYONE, okay?" There were several people she would really like NOT to hear about this event.

"Huh? Yeah, I guess most people'd freak-out, huh?"

"Some more than others, but yes, it would not be good if it got out."

"Okay, sure, I get it. Ya sure yer all right though?"

"Yes, but it is all the way inside! Congratulations, it makes me so happy to see one of my students graduate!"

"But, I dropped out..."

"Then you can drop back in. No more teasing, you can start moving now and show me what an excellent student you can be!"

"What do you mean? Yer still holdin' me..."

"Down there, slide in and out until we both feel good. Trust your instincts, I know you can ...'do it', O-ni-i-cha-n..." Whispering in his ear, she nibbled a bit while she was there, while pulling him closer.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"OH YES! Did you get bigger again, Onii-chan?" Hinako was glad that they were on the bed, she did not think her knees could have taken it, her arms had collapsed some time ago, and having a pillow under her face was much softer than the tile floor would have been. "So gooooood, do it rougher!"

Grabbing her hips for better purchase, Ranma sped up his movements, aiming for the places that evoked the sweetest sounds from his partner.

"That is it, slap my ass!"

"What?"

"Punish me! Punish this delinquent teacher like I deserve!"

"Um, okay..." Ranma was worried about hurting her, but was far too caught up in the moment to completely refuse her request. Starting off as gently as he could, he struck her rear with the palm of his hand, growing more firm as she called out to him to be increasingly forceful. "Oi...!"

"Oooooo... That feels so much better all of a sudden!" That was not exactly what she had intended, but she could not deny that she was enjoying it.

"Yeah, I think that thing got too full, an' broke..."

"WHAT? How? You have not even paused!"

"No, but, I did that 'iku' thing a few times..."

"That is amazing! I have never heard of a man who could do that!"

"Ain't nuthin', just usin' my ki ta get a little extra flex, like any other muscle."

"Wow! You really are one of a kind..." As that thought sunk into her, she realized the implications of what he was saying. "Oh no..."

"If it broke, then it is as good as not using one."

"Wait, ain't that how ya said babies were made, an' we get diseases?"

"Do not worry, if neither of us is infected so we can't catch anything, and this is a safe week for me, soooo ...go right ahead and fill me up!" Hinako decided that it was too late to worry about it, the 'damage' was already done, so she might as well enjoy it for as long as she could. It was not as if she would likely get an opportunity like that again. "You have already passed this class, how about we go for extra credit?"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Thank you, Mousse-kun! You're always so nice to me, not like SOME people."

"It is no problem, I am happy to help you."

Akane blushed, and turned away. "We can't stay out too late, but do you want to go out somewhere tonight?"

"Sure, what do you have in mind?"

"Oh, I don't know, there's a new movie with that cute guy out this month. You want to see that?"

"If you would like to see it, then I don't see why not."

"Oh, my little girl is going out on a date!" Twin waterfalls threatened ruin the wooden floors, as the older man took joy in his daughter's happiness.

"Dad! It's not our first one, you know!" At that moment, she saw Genma poking his head around the corner. "Go ahead, say something funny, Fat Man!"

"Hey! Have you been hanging out with Ranma too much...?"

The small powerhouse lashed out so suddenly that Genma was unable to put up his guard, and he felt it down to his very bones. Three successive impacts, first with her fist, then the outer wall, before he really left an impression on the ground below him.

"I think that what my friend was trying to ask, was if you wanted to be adopted, young man."

"We've been over this, I really do not!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

After parking the car she had borrowed back in their garage, Hinako followed Ranma as he gathered all of her packages. "Thank you, Onii-chan!"

With both arms full of bags, the rest had to be balanced on his head. "Hey, ain't no problem, guys're supposed ta do stuff like this on a date, right?"

"It is still very kind of you. I did say I could carry some of them."

"Nah, don't worry about it, just get the door."

Before allowing him to take another step, she stopped to whisper into his ear. "Do not forget about our secret promise."

"Oh yeah, ain't no way I could tell nobody about that!"

"Most boys your age would be bragging about it to all of their friends."

"That'd get me killed!"

She did not want to tell him about the risk to her career or worse, if someone sill considered him her student, but the threat of them being forced to marry was still very real, not to mention how it could affect her other relationships. "I hope I would be able to prevent that if I were around, but there are other risks as well, it could be bad."

"Yeah, I get it, ya ain't got ta worry."

"I am not, I trust you."

"Huh, ya do?"

"Of course I do!"

"Huh, why?"

"Because you have never let me down, and you always keep your word."

"Humm..." Ranma pondered that for a moment. "Wish that worked fer everyone."

"If it does not, then those are not people who are worthy of you."

"Yeah, that's what Kasumi told me too, but-..."

"There you go! Some people will not be happy no matter what you do, and you should not kill yourself trying. All you can do is try to help as many people as you are able, without causing yourself too many problems for you to handle in the process."

"I see..."

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Ranma and the girls had left for work right after dropping Hinako's packages off in her room, so being alone, Nodoka confronted the usually energetic instructor. "You seem a bit tired, should I pour you some tea?"

"Oh, that would be nice, thank you."

"It is no problem, I am happy to be of assistance." As she prepared the leaves, she glanced back to the swirl of emotion written plainly on the other woman's face. "Did things not go well on your date?"

"NO! Everything was wonderful!"

"Oh good. I am glad to hear it. You did not run into any ...problems, did you?"

"Oh no, it was a lot of fun!" The concern in her heart contradicted the friendly smile on her lips, but she had no idea what to tell the older woman.

"That is good. I take it your 'lesson' went well then."

"Oh yes ...better than expected!"

"That is wonderful, I knew I could count on you!" Nodoka smiled warmly as she placed the cup of tea in front of each of them. "So, how manly was my son?"

With a blush, she perked up, not wanting to give the older woman a reason to doubt Ranma's 'manliness'. "Onii-chan is number one!"

Nodoka grinned slyly, she had been picking up small clues that told her something very significant had occurred, but if they did not want to talk about it yet, she could wait, and in the meantime, she had a special bottle of sake that had waiting for her for so long...

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"Thank you, Great-Grandmother." The young Chinese woman bowed before she started for the door of the small shop.

"I am glad to be able to help, and congratulation on your current progress. Good luck to you."

With a skip in her step, Shampoo walked toward the house she shared with everyone, trying to decide how to best use the advice she had received from her elder. Some of the ideas she would be able to do on her own, but for at least one, she was going to need assistance from another...

"What're ya doin' here? Shouldn't ya be botherin' Ranchan?"

"Great-Grandmother buy books, movies, and comics what teach, so Shampoo know what Japanese boys like, and Airen let Shampoo make too too happy, Is Pancake-Girl job for annoy..."

"Nuh-uh! ...Wait, ya got what? Ya pervert!"

"Now is sound like Pervert-Girl."

"HEY! Who ya callin' a pervert?"

"No can fool Shampoo, hear what say to self when think is sleeping, know what things want do."

"WHAT? NO! AH DIDN'T!"

"No Shampoo fault no have guts for trying do."

"Ah do so!"

"Is okay, no is need for flat-chest, Shampoo too too much womans. Can just go back dress as mens and play with waitress."

"Hey! Mah boobs might be smaller 'en yers, but mah love fer Ranchan's greater 'en anyone!" Ukyo blushed, she could not believe she just said that out loud, in public!

"No, Shampoo love much much more!"

"Do not!"

Turning her head, she 'hrumphed'. "Is too too true."

"Ah'm-..." Approaching the gate, they heard voices wafting from the other side.

"...don't know, what'd ya expect ta happen?" Walking around the corner, they saw Kodachi prostrating before Ranma, the others close behind him.

"Expect? Nothing Ranma-sama, I dared not even hope, but I had to come. All I can do is tell you that I am sorry for what we did, and beg your forgiveness." Weapons suddenly appearing in their hands, the pair rushed to Ranma's side.

"After what ya did ta Kasumi! Ya think I'll fergive ya fer that?"

"No, I truly did not. You should know that you have nothing else to fear from me, I am no longer the same person I was."

They saw Ranma's aura relax as it mingled with the gentle one extending from the hand that rested upon his shoulder, and they saw him let out a sigh. "Fine, promise me ya won't ever bother Kasumi again, an' I'll fergive ya..."

For the first time since their arrival, they saw Kodachi look up, a hopeful expression on her tear streaked face. "Really, Ranma-sama?"

Tension filled the air as waves of emotion poured out of everyone present. "But don't go thinkin' that makes us friends!"

The pair visibly relaxed, as the relief of not having another rival moving in with them set in to their minds. "Is there anything that I can do to earn your trust?"

"I ain't gonna fergit it no time soon, but who knows? Right now, I can't see anythin' but someone with no honor, who threatened someone who can't fight back, an' ain't a combatant. Can ya find yer honor again? That's somethin' I can't answer fer ya."

To those who could see it, Kasumi's pink aura grew a bit brighter at that moment.

"I understand, I will do my best to make you proud of me! Thank you for giving me this chance!"

"Yeah, yeah, ya ain't got ta be so formal, just don't be mean."

"How lovely! Now that we are all friends again, why not all come inside while dinner is still warm?"

"Oh no, I could not impose!"

"It is fine, I made plenty!"

As she looked into the faces of those present, some friendly, others hostile, she blanched. "No, I think that it would be best if I left for now. Thank you for hearing me out. May you have a lovely evening." Instead of leaping away as they expected, the young gymnast simply stood, and slowly walked out through the gate.

After quickly making her weapons vanish, Shampoo latched onto Ranma as she stuck out her tongue at the retreating rival, simply happy that she got to stay, while Kodachi left. "Is Airen okay?"

"Yeah Ranchan, what's that all about?"

"I guess Kodachi ain't as crazy as before, er somethin', an' wanted ta apologize fer all th' bad stuff, ya know?"

"That's a LOT ta fergive!"

"That's what I said, but Kasumi thought it'd be better anyway."

Ukyo noticed the lack of honorific, and made an unhappy mental note, hopefully it was not something that would last... "Ah ain't sure that's th' best plan, but Ah don't wanna argue with ya."

"Come, let Shampoo feed Ranma and forget about stupid Flower-Girl."

"Nuh huh! Ah wanna do it!"

"Now, now, girls, you can all take turns..." Nodoka smiled as thoughts of grandchildren floated through her mind.

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"Aw, come on, I can feed myself faster, ya know?"

"Is okay, let Shampoo do, is more fun, and get taste food better if eat slower. No want enjoy Onee-chan cooking?"

"It ain't like that! It's just, it's embarrassin', ya know?"

"But, Ranchan, sometimes we gotta do things we might not like ta make someone else happy, 'sides, it ain't so bad, it's just us. Er would ya rather Ah make ya some okonomiyaki instead?"

"Naw, this is fine, if ya got ta..."

With a mix of emotions, Ukyo prepared his next bite, and held it out for him. "Say 'aaaah'..."

Ranma cringed and hesitated as he looked at the proffered morsel, but after a moment, his stomach overrode his embarrassment and he quickly gobbled up the bite. It was not as if he could resist Kasumi's cooking for long, he doubted anyone could.

Seeing his expression as he savored the flavor, Nodoka got an idea. "Since you made the meal, I think you should be helping them here, do you not agree?"

"Oh my, that would not be right..."

"Oh yes, Onee-chan help Shampoo side!"

"HEY! That ain't fair!"

"Then why not have ALL of us do it? You need to learn the joys of being pampered by a 'slightly' older woman as well..."

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NOTES

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The plain text version of this chapter was 69kb.

I am sure I upset some of you with this one, but you cannot deny there was progress! ;p

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How will this affect the rest of our story? Tune in next time for, 'Feeding Frenzy', or 'HOME RUN!', and find out!


	47. Chapter 47

Warning: I cannot be held responsible for the following chapter, one of my cats possessed me, and tried to learn how to type.

Chapter 47 - The Plot of Three

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"Unryuu-san...?" The lost boy recoiled from the harsh look that followed.

"Ryoga-kun, Honey, how many times do I need to ask you to call me 'Akari'?"

"Sorry..."

"Sorry 'what'?"

"Sorry, Akari-chan!"

"Thank you Darling, now what can I do for you?"

"Is this leash really necessary?"

"Of course it is, Sweetie. The last time we went out without it, it took me a week to find you again... I know Baby, I am sorry, I know you do not like it, but I do not like having to search for you, so we have to compromise. If you are a good boy, I will lick your little piggy later..."

Ryoga's hands went straight for his nose as the blood rushed to his ...head.

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"So, what are your plans for the next round of dates?"

"What?" Everyone turned in shock at Nodoka's surprise question.

"SOOO HAPPY!"

Raising an eyebrow, she looked at the rest of them in disbelief. "You did not think that one date was enough, did you?" Ranma shrugged as everyone exchanged glances with various expressions from confusion to excitement. "Did my son show any of you a bad time? Do any of you have any reason to refuse another outing?" The Saotome matriarch carefully watched their expressions.

Seeing how intently they were being scrutinized, none of them wanted to risk putting Ranma back in danger, so quickly shook their heads.

"So then, to be fair, we will stick to the same order, this will give you each at least a few days to plan." Nodoka turned to the young woman with the grin of a predator, a bit concerned. "Will that give you enough time to prepare?"

"Shampoo ready anytime for go on date with Ranma!"

"Good, good, that is what I like to hear!"

"When Mother say is okay?"

"Why not just follow the same schedule as before, that seemed to work out well!"

"Aiyaaa...!"

"But...!" Ukyo could not think of a good reason to protest, other than not wanting Shampoo to go next again, and it was not as if she wanted to miss another night of being open for business, yet she did not have to like it! She took some solace in that it meant she would at least get to go before Kasumi again, because that was making her far more nervous than anything else, and the blissfully happy look on the other woman's face was not helping that nagging sensation in the slightest!

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"So, Saotome-kun, a little bird tells me that you have started your own business..."

"Bye-bye birdie!"

Nabiki sighed as Kasumi waved at the small bird flying away. "Please, Nee-chan."

"Bye-bye birdie!"

"Yes, well..."

"Bye-bye birdie!"

"Let's go to another room..."

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"I've got to say, I am impressed Saotome-kun, you really are making a good go of it, and I want you to let me help you."

"What? Why?"

"I will help manage your customers, payments, equipment, and so on, and you give me a cut."

"Why would I need that?"

Nabiki leaned her elbow upon her knee, getting close to his face. "Let me ask you this, is this what you want to do forever?"

"No, a' course not!"

"Then you need me."

"What're ya gonna do that we ain't already doin'?"

"Let me ask you this, what is it that you DO want to do with your life?"

"I'm gonna train, an' teach I guess."

"Can you really start your own branch of the school, aren't there rules about that sort of thing?"

"Ya think I care what that old pervert thinks?"

"And your dad?"

"Mom said not ta worry 'bout it."

"I see... Well, what would you say if I were to tell you that I could not only get you more customers, but also some other people you can train to clean? This way, once we get enough people working for us, you will no longer need to do any of the cleaning yourself, and you can focus on your training while still maintaining an income. You would get to be the boss, delegating the work to your underlings, in fact, once we get going, I could handle most of the scheduling as well, while you would simply need to handle the training and be the figurehead."

"The what?"

"Kind of like a mascot. We would put your face on all of the posters, have you talk to the press, that sort of thing."

"Oh, no, that ain't too manly..."

"Well, you know we COULD-..."

"NO! I ain't doin' it as a girl neither!"

"I suppose for the ads we could use a picture of all three of you, posing in your cute, little uniforms, but then who would you want to talk to the public?"

"Ain't that yer job?"

"Perhaps, but your spokesperson should be someone in charge and in uniform."

"Ah, then it ain't no problem, I'm sure Kasumi'd be happy ta make ya one!"

"Wait, but-..."

"Didn't ya say ya were gonna handle stuff like that?"

"Yeah, but you should put your 'cutest' face forward." Nabiki didn't that that would be easy, but she knew she could convince him, not that she was above posing herself as well, but Ranma's pictures always sold better than hers, in either form.

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"Hey, don't sell yerself short, yer much better with yer words, and yer pretty cute too, ya know?"

Ukyo's heart stopped for a moment, wondering if she really just heard Ranma flirting with the middle Tendo sister too? She could not help but wonder what else could go wrong for her this week, it was only Monday, and she was already panicking! She needed to come up with another date plan, one that would give her a better chance than her last, while at the same time foiling whatever it was that Shampoo was planning!

The problem was, that even with Konatsu's help tailing her rival, they had not managed to discover her nefarious plan! She was not certain what to make of the only thing they had seen, her watching a number of dirty movies in private. Was the other girl trying to learn some new technique to win over Ranma, or was she simply frustrated at her own lack of progress? She was not certain, but she swore that they would maintain their surveillance as much as possible until they could figure it out...

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"What good are you?" The tall man stared down at his prostrated underling.

"I'm sorry, Boss!" Trying to bow while already on the ground did not do his head much good. "There's somethin' crazy goin' on there, it was outa our control. I been casin' th' place though, an' it seems mostly empty in the mornin's lately, jus' gotta wait fer th' older woman ta go shoppin'! I'll get th' boys, and we'll try again..."

"NO! You have made enough mistakes, at this rate, you will run out of fingers!"

"Urk!"

"This is too important to give you another chance at this. No, I will lead this next raid, let me know when 'that man' can get here."

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Ukyo waited impatiently for detention to end, she did not have to be there herself, but she was waiting to talk to her homeroom teacher who was in charge of punishing any rule-breakers. Her mind was going several kilometers per minute, as she wondered what she was going to do.

Totally lost in her thoughts, she failed to notice the presence behind her until someone tapped her on the shoulder, causing her to jump in the air. "Ukyo-chan? What're you doing here?"

She did not really want to talk about it to anyone else, so she deflected. "Akane-chan? Still got detention, huh?"

The youngest Tendo's mood instantly darkened. "Yeah, but not for much longer!"

"Oh yeah? That's good. Ah heard Kuno-senpai's gonna be walkin' again soon."

"Yeah, well, the pervert deserved it!"

"Hey, Ah ain't arguin' with ya! School's been better without that blowhard around!" She briefly thought how much better it would have been if only Ranma had been there with her, but she wisely chose not to mention that thought aloud. "So, uh, thanks ...Ah guess."

"Yeah, no problem..." Akane smiled nervously, blushing slightly at the 'praise'. "Well, look, I've got stuff to do, so you know..."

"Yeah, sure, meh too." As Akane walked down the hallway, Ukyo absently wondered what the other girl might be going to do, but did not have long to ponder it. "Oh, Sensei!"

"Kuonji-kun, what are you still doing here?"

"Oh, um, Ah needed ta talk ta ya..."

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Akane had not expected to see anyone she knew still at school that late, she did not really want to be seen leaving... So, with a newfound sense of caution, she carefully looked around, making certain that no other students were around as she left the locker area. Running out of the building, she ducked behind a shed, so she could make her way toward the entrance with shelter on both sides.

Crawling out from under a hedge, she ran into a pair of long legs covered in white robes. "Akane! There you are, I was starting to worry about you."

"Mousse-kun!"

"Are you ready to go out again?"

"Yeah, but let's hurry and get out of here..."

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"An' ever' time Ah try ta git any where, Ah feel like Ah'm just gettin' further away! Some days Ah almost feel like ya have a better chance'n meh... It jus' ain't fair!"

"Well, do not worry, I have no intention of trying to 'take' Saotome-kun from you." Hinako turned away as she laughed nervously, feeling a bit ...delinquent.

"What can Ah do, Hinako-sensei?"

"You do not need to be concerned, I will make 'absolutely' sure to prevent anyone else from taking Onii-chan's first time!" Hinako tried to repress her guilt, not wanting to talk about exactly 'how' she had averted that very thing.

The young chef raised an eyebrow at the nickname, but still felt a weight lift from her shoulders at the reassurances, if only she had been able to get Hinako on her side sooner! If anyone could stop them, it was her...

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"Is 'at all ya got?" Ranma dodged a number of well aimed blows, as Ryu came at him, neither of them willing to break out any special moves. "Here I thought ya were supposed ta be me! Come on Man, I knew a cheap copy who put up a better fight."

"Hey, this isn't so easy without the Yamasenken!" Ryu gasped for breath as he wiped the sweat off of his brow.

"Special moves're fun, but they ain't nuthin' if ya got no base. 'Sides, how're ya supposed ta develop yer own school, if ya keep relyin' on Pop's tricks?"

"I know, but that doesn't make it any easier." Righting himself, he got back into his stance, preparing to resume his onslaught as wondered what he could do. No matter what he tried, the shorter boy always seemed to stay one step ahead of him.

Ranma thought some of the conversations he had been having with Kasumi and and some of the others, and he realized something. "Hey Man, don't take it personally, taunting is just a way to egg ya on, an' try an' push ya ta do better, if ya don't let it get ta ya, an' lose control. Always leave it ta yer opponent ta be th' one ta go nuts, while ya just have fun with 'em."

"I get it, but are you trying to say you never get mad in a fight?"

"A' course not! I ain't sayin' don't get mad, just try not ta let it control ya ...control it instead." Dodging several more kicks, Ranma flipped over his head, kicking him in the back and into the wall, but not hard enough to break it. "I know yer doin' this fer yer own reason, but thanks fer sparrin' with me, it's nice ta have someone who can kind a' keep up. Since I moved here, I don't get near th' practice, ain't even seen Ryoga in months."

Picking himself off of the ground, the tall young man nodded. "I could say the same, thanks for helping me with all of this. After the way things turned out, you didn't have to be so nice." He launched himself into another series of blows, almost landing a few.

Keeping just out of range, he dodged or blocked each attack as he casually kept up his end of the conversation. "With ya datin' Nabiki, yer practically family now. Heck, yer better 'an some, I actually like ya!"

"Hey, thanks, you're not as bad as I first thought either ...even if you are a bit of a 'momma's boy'." Ryu had to duck the unexpected counterattack, barely managing to remain on his feet. "Touchy!" The two boys continued to laugh as they traded blows, each of them preparing to take things up another notch.

"Ryu-chan! Are you back here? It's time to go!" Nabiki's voice came from the window, causing the taller lad to trip over his feet.

Ranma chortled as his sparring partner tumbled. "Ya called me a 'momma's boy', but what's that make ya?"

Leading Ryu away, Nabiki paused long enough to whisper at the braided boy. "It's called being 'Pussy-whipped', Ranma-kun. I'm sure you will find out soon enough."

He did not like the sound of that, anything to do with those furry little monsters made him uncomfortable. "Be careful Ryu, don't try an' learn th' cat-fist, trust me, it ain't worth it!" Ranma watched cautiously as they left, Nabiki's laughter almost unnerving him as much as Kodachi's used to.

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Having made most of her preparations, Shampoo had one last element to plan for her date the next day. She had tried many of her grandmother's suggestions thus far, and Ranma's reactions had been far less than she had hoped. There had been one theme in the materials she had received that continued to come up again and again, and it seemed to always garner a good response from the men in them, but she could not do it alone. She had a hunch that she might regret what she was about to do, but her honor as a warrior of the Nujie Zu would not allow her to feel right about it if she did not give her rival the first chance to help.

She arrived at the school just as the lunch bell rang, and she hurried to the classroom she knew so much better than any other.

"Shampoo! What're ya doin' here?"

"Need talk. Follow." Without hesitation, she made her way to the equipment room for the gym classes, where they could speak in private.

Ukyo wondered for a moment, but quickly followed after the other girl, her curiosity getting the better of her. "What'd ya want?"

"Tomorrow is Shampoo next date with Airen..."

"Don't remind meh!" Ukyo tried to keep her voice down, but her feelings came though clearly enough.

"No interrupting! Shampoo come ask for help."

"Like Ah'd ev'ah help ya!" She crossed her arms over her chest and turned away.

Shampoo's eyebrow rose almost a centimeter. "No? No even if mean give chance with husband?"

"Wait! What?"

Shampoo mockingly mirrored the other young woman's defiant gesture of a moment ago. "Oh, so now want know what have say?"

"Jus' spill it!"

Sticking her tongue out, she turned back to her rival. "Book tell Shampoo, all Japanese boy like when with two womans, Ranma mother agree. Pancake-girl almost like Japanese boy, is that what like? See two womans kissy make happy?"

"WHAT ARE YA SAYIN'?"

"No, Shampoo is human, just stronger than most. Dragon Ball only manga, no is real."

Ukyo started to growl, but forced herself to calm down, getting mad here, was not going to help her figure this out. "Ah mean, 'What're ya talkin' 'bout'? Ya callin' meh a boy? Ya think Ah like girls that way? Why'd Ah ev'ah wanna kiss ya?"

"Shampoo know, no is stupid, is joke, is too too funny watching flat girl get mad. Is why no use name, is too too funny."

"You mean ya do this on purpose?"

"Of course, I once TOLD you this was my THIRD language! How much of a moron do you take me for? Even stupid Mousse can speak your barbaric mangling of a beautifully written language clearly, far better than even yourself, but nobody wants to hear a cute Chinese girl speaking plainly. People flock to the Nekohanten to see the bubbly waitress with the broken accent. Your people value cute above much, I know this, it is about all most of the men talk about while I serve them, and it works for me. People also underestimate you when they think you don't understand, and speak more plainly around you, thinking that you cannot figure out what they are saying. You and the mean one used to spend all day with my husband, Shampoo need take any advantage can!" She shifted from the cooler, even tone, back to her sing-song speaking pattern for effect at the end.

Ukyo looked as if she had seen a ghost, or if Shampoo had just sprouted a second head, which, in a way to the young chef, almost seemed as if that was exactly what happened. "Wha- Wha- Wha- ha, ma, ha, na, wa wa..."

"And say Shampoo speak bad..." The foreign born warrior looked exasperated, clearly tired of talking to her rival. "Look, I will say this plainly, so you can understand me perfectly. Do you want to help me with this plan, or should I go find someone else? I am certain that many of the women here would be happy to join me if it meant spending the night with my husband, maybe I could even talk Kasumi Tendo into helping me, don't you think Ranma would enjoy that?"

Shocked out of her stupor, Ukyo was thinking again, and remembering how sexy Kasumi's underwear had been when she had not even been 'off to battle', causing the worst panic attack she had ever experienced. "NO! Ya wouldn't! Ya can't! How can Ah compete with that? That ain't fair!"

"Know what? Take too too long. Shampoo no want kiss or share husband with stupid Flat-As-Pancake-Girl anyway, almost rather share with crazy Rose-Girl... Much, much more womanly, is much, 'much' better for make husband too too happy." The haughty warrior quickly turned, sending her long hair flowing as she did, purposefully walking toward the exit, and making sure to exaggerate the swaying of her hips for effect. "Save self trouble, just give up now. No have snow chance in desert."

Ukyo was unable to move, the reality of Shampoo's scheme came crashing into her, as she imitated a deer caught in headlights, slapping her hands to her cheeks. "NNNOOOOOOOOO!"

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Ukyo ran straight to the teacher's lounge, glad that none of the other teachers were there. "Sensei! Ya gotta help me! Yer th' only one I kin ask!"

"What? What's the matter?"

"That bitch's gonna cheat! I need ya!"

"Who is cheating? Cheating is bad, but you should watch your language, we are still in school."

"Sorry, but Ah gotta huge problem, it's that Shampoo!"

"Oh, okay, just tell me what kind of cheating, and what you need. I will help you however I can." Hinako was glad it was not a student 'cheating' at school, she needed to take a hard line when she found someone shirking their education!

"Ah need ya ta double-date with meh tomorrah night, an' help meh get Ranchan in th' mood!"

"WHAT? You can't mean?" Seeing Ukyo nod, Hinako started shaking her head and waving her hands in front of her. "But I could never do that, I am supposed to be Saotome-kun's guardian!" Her guilt rose to the surface again, still mostly regretting what she had done, on many levels, even if she had enjoyed it immensely.

"But yer not, not really, yer just helpin' out cause Genma an' th' Tendos are jerks, an' now Ranchan's mom's there, so ya ain't got nothing ta worry 'bout!"

"But I am your teacher!"

"Everybody thinks ya do it all th' time anyway! Ain't gonna matter ifin' it's true er not, they all believe it all th' same!" Ukyo pointed out of the window, to where many students were sitting in the field, enjoying their lunches.

"They do? How? ...Wait, NO! Of COURSE it matters!"

"Ev'eh since ya first got here, they all considered ya one a' us anyway, th' only difference is yer th' only one a' us Ranchan eveh TRIED ta feel up! ...ON PURPOSE!"

"That was not for that reason, it was all about the pressure points, you 'know' this."

"Hey, take whatcha kin git! That's better 'an any a' th' rest a' us got!" Ukyo's hair was completely disheveled, her tears were starting to flow, and the desperation was clear in her cracking voice. "Yer th' sexiest woman in the city, an' th' only one who's been willin' ta help meh! Th' only other person is a guy, so Ah can't ask! Even if Konatsu-chan'd be willin', it could nevah work! ...Ah been on mah own since mah pops died, I got no one else I kin ask! Payin' Nabiki'd neveh work, Ranchan can't really stand that girl, an' don't know if I kin afford it, but ya two git along! Ya gotta help meh seduce Ranchan! This is mah darkest hour! Help me, Hinako-sensei! Yer mah only hope!" Ukyo had fallen to her knees, sobbing and hugging her teacher's legs. "Please, Ah kin barely compete with Shampoo alone, so now with Kasumi-han helpin', I ain't got a prayer! Ah'm sure Ranchan's mom won't mind!"

"Well, no, you are probably correct there, but, still, I just cannot do that!"

"But, ya said ya were gonna help meh!"

"Yeah, but ...anything but 'that'!"

"But, WHY NOT?"

Hinako's voice dropped to a whisper. "I have actually started seeing someone."

"WHAT? WHO? WHEN?"

Hinako blushed and tried to look away. "Tofu-sensei, we have been talking ever since we did that training, but we started actually 'dating' last night." Visions of the night before flooded her mind. Her date with Ranma had excited her so much, that she had been unable to keep her hands off of Tofu when she had paid him a visit, and they had finally crossed the line. It may not have been near as intense as with Ranma the night before, but he had treated her gently, and they both enjoyed themselves very much. At least it had kept her fantasies about jumping Ranma in the middle of the night to a minimum. "Look, I do not want to tell anyone about this right now, so promise me you will keep it a secret!"

A twinkle could be seen in Ukyo eyes as she looked up with a smile. "On one condition..."

"You wouldn't!"

"Ah'm desperate! Ah ain't got no choice!"

"We always have a choice."

"An' ya made yers aftah all... Ah guess Ah ain't got nobody after all..."

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Without waiting for classes to end, Ukyo ran straight for her restaurant, and explained her situation to her assistant. "Kin ya help meh?"

"What exactly would you want me to do, Ukyo-sama?"

"Ah don't know! Yer th' kunoichi! Help meh seduce Ranchan, like Shampoo's gonna do with Kasumi-san!"

"Do you really think that that would help, Mistress?"

"NO! AH REALLY DON'T!"

"Goshujin-sama, you know, you are also a kunoichi, yes?"

"Then teach meh! Teach meh ev'ahthang ya know!"

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Her meeting had not gone the way Shampoo had intended, but the feeling of twisting the proverbial knife into her rival's back was a sweet revenge, and she was still savoring the look of sheer horror on the other girl's face when she mentioned Kasumi's name. The problem was, that now she had to convince the older girl to assist her. Waiting to catch her alone, Shampoo made sure no one else was around before she locked them both in the master bedroom.

"What, what are we doing, Shampoo-chan?"

"Only Onee-chan can help Shampoo, is okay?"

"Oh? What can I do?"

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Nodoka had not learned much in the way of the art, but if there was one thing the women in her family excelled at, it was masking their presence. It had served her well many times in the past while trying to conceive her son, when her husband could not sense her coming, it made it far more difficult for him to escape before it was too late. As she used it now to listen in on the two young women's conversation, her face contorted into a very toothy grin.

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"Oh my, no! That would not be right, you should wait to do this until you are married!"

"Say too too many time now, 'Shampoo and Ranma IS married'!"

"Oh my! ...I suppose, maybe, but ...I am not!"

"Onee-chan want marry Ranma too?"

"Ah! Er, but, no, I mean ...Oh my!" Memories of pretending to be his bride flashed through her mind, bringing a small smile to her lips.

"So, DO want be with Airen!"

"No, I support you, Shampoo-chan!" Kasumi was pleading, almost as much with herself as with her friend.

"Shampoo support Kasumi-onee-chan too."

"What?"

"Big-Sister was first person treat Shampoo like person, like friend, no like 'gaijin trash', like is just annoyance. Shampoo feel too too much honor, if Kasumi join Shampoo family for real."

"Oh my!" Kasumi covered her mouth with her hands.

"Is okay? Want do, be official 'sister' to Shampoo?"

"What would I need to do?"

"Do warrior bonding ceremony with Shampoo."

"But, I am not a 'warrior'."

"Train with Airen, so is okay. No need be best warrior, only need know basic move. In village, all womans is call 'warrior'."

"I see..."

"So what Onee-chan say? Want be real member of Shampoo village?"

"That is quite an honor, how could I refuse?"

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"Is ready, follow Shampoo please. Sorry take so long."

"Oh my no, it hardly seemed like any time at all!" Kasumi had to admit, she was curious what this ceremony would entail, hoping it was nothing to violent, or ...embarrassing.

"Need run, get thing from Great-Grandmother, got back fast as could."

"No, really, it is quite all right." Quickly following along, she allowed herself to be led toward their back yard where a small alter had been erected. On top of the pile of stones were several candles and a tiny cup.

"Onee-chan sit here."

Sitting on the mat that had been provided for her, she looked up at Shampoo expectantly.

"Is good." She spoke a long phrase in her native Mandarin, while bowing her head.

"That was beautiful, what did it mean?"

"Shampoo ask ancestors accept 'Ru'usetai', bonding of sisters."

"Aaaw..." Kasumi watched as the younger girl walked around, lighting incense and candles. Without saying a word, Shampoo held out a small box. "For me?" Seeing her nod, she gasped. "You shouldn't!"

"Is part of ceremony, please accept."

"Oh my... I am sorry, I did not get you anything!" Shame crossed the beautiful woman's features as the guilt hit her.

"Is okay, no expect did. Already give Shampoo plenty."

"Should I ...open it?"

"Why else give?" The young woman wondered why her Japanese friends never wanted to open gifts when they were given. Did they not know that the best part of giving a gift was to see the look of joy on the faces of the ones who open them?

Shampoo looked at her as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "But-... Oh, okay." Pulling on the pink ribbon, the box fell open in her hand, revealing a small golden medallion on a matching chain. "This looks expensive, I cannot accept it!"

"Is okay, Grandmother give, want have, be in family for many generation. Is usual weapon, but only thing matter is be in family long time." Taking the necklace from the stunned woman, she helped her put it around her neck. "Symbolize want for Onee-chan be in family long time too."

"Oh, oh, oh my... that is just so sweet! Just a moment!" With a nod of her head, she smoothly stood, running back into the house. She was going to give Shampoo the choice of something out of the jewelry box she had received what seemed like so long ago, until she understood the meaning behind the gift. Aside from her mother's dishes and cooking utensils, she could only think of one thing that might fit the bill. After finding what she was looking for, she decided to grab one other thing from her 'treasure chest', just in case.

She returned, slightly out of breath, but happy to see Shampoo smiling at her in return. "Here, this is the only piece of jewelry my mother ever got for me, it no longer fits me, but I would like you to have it."

The young woman's eyes opened in awe. "Aiyaaa! Is sure want give to Shampoo? Thing of mother's?"

"Oh no, it is fine, I am certain that Mother would be happy for you to have it, and now I can see it any time you are near me! If it does not fit, you can put it on this chain until we can have it resized or something for you."

"No, is good on chain, then be like Kasumi-onee-chan! Help Shampoo put on, yes?"

Nodding, Kasumi threaded the necklace she had picked up through the ring and slipped it around the younger girl's neck. "There you go-umph!" Before she knew it, Shampoo had turned around and caught her in what she did not realize was a 'light' glomp before giving her a light peck on the lips.

"Shampoo too too happy! Kasumi-onee-chan give return gift, mean really like Shampoo!"

"Of course I do! How could you think that I did not?"

"Please, sit. Shampoo do rest of ceremony now. Do as Shampoo do." Sitting on the opposite side, Shampoo relit the candles, and poured wine from a bottle into the small clay cup. "To mother, we give honor. To sister, we give honor. To family, we give honor. To all village, we give honor. Now to you, we give honor." With each statement, she paused to take a small sip from the cup, before handing it to Kasumi to do the same. "Welcome, Kasumi Tendo, now and forever, is sister of Shampoo, and member of Nujie Zu."

"Oh my..." Kasumi had to wipe a tear out of her eye, as her words caught in her throat. "I, I am honored."

"We now is bonded, and both family get stronger. Anything Kasumi need, Shampoo be there helping, even if no ask."

"Um, yes, of course, same here, I am always happy to help you, Shampoo-chan."

"Old day, would do bloodletting, share blood, but no is do now day."

"Oh? That is good to hear..." Kasumi 'really' did not want to cut herself if it was not necessary.

"Since return gift, instead do this." Without hesitation, Shampoo threw her arms around the other woman, while locking lips with her.

After an awkward first moment, Kasumi melted into the passionate embrace and was only startled for a moment as her lips were pried apart and a tongue was thrust into her mouth! 'OH MY!'

After what seemed like an eternity, Shampoo broke the kiss, but did not get up from her lap. "Now, if thing happen to Shampoo, by village law, Kasumi-onee-chan is next sister what is official marry to husband."

"WHAT? ...Oh my! Wait, next?"

"Well, Shampoo have other sister too, but older two already share husband, and younger two can wait to be older, if no find own."

"But-...?"

"What wrong? If find other husband, is okay, no force, but if no, is Kasumi right if want."

"That is just so...?" She found it difficult to think of such a barbaric practice.

"Elder say is 'practical', but for Shampoo, just want two people who love most, be happy when gone." Shampoo sighed with a contented resolve.

"DON'T TALK THAT WAY!" It took a moment for Kasumi to calm herself, as she tried to explain what she meant to the stunned younger girl. "As nice as Ranma-kun is, I do not want to think about you passing!"

"No like is plan, but is good have, how say, 'back-up'?"

"So, I am just your 'replacement'?" Kasumi was not certain that she liked that thought very much either.

"NO! Is 'oath-sister'! How explain? In village, good mens is hard find, many more womans than mens. Womans what is close, may no want good mens, how say, 'go waste', want ones what love be happy when gone, understand?"

"I think so, but it feels weird to think of such things..."

"Is ancient law, no use much in old day, but need use more today with too too small village. Is only, how say, 'formality', is okay if share before hand ...if want, like on date. When Kasumi give ring, also bind with Shampoo, become more than just sister, can also be like marry among warrior without mens. Some warrior only do bond with warrior and no get husband. If Onee-chan want, now and always, Shampoo husband, also Kasumi husband, is clear?"

"Oh my...!" Kasumi did not remember anything after that moment, surprised to find herself awakening in her own bed, a worried Shampoo sitting next to her, still clutching her hand.

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No sooner had they gotten home from work, then Shampoo grabbed Kasumi by the arm, and ran into the bedroom where Nodoka was waiting for them, locking the door behind her. Without skipping a beat, the younger girl was out of her uniform, and was searching through the trunk of clothing, looking for the perfect pattern, while Kasumi simply stood there, confused at the flurry of motion.

"What are you doing? You need to get undressed too." Nodoka walked over to the stunned young woman, helping her out of her work clothing.

"Why do-...?"

"Dress up Shampoo in Japanese clothes, now Shampoo dress Onee-chan in Chinese clothes!"

"Again? But-..."

"Now, now, there will be plenty of time for that later, right now, you need to get ready."

"Me? Ready? For what?"

"Do you not remember? You are going out with Ranma today!"

"No, I was not supposed to go again until Friday, today is Shampoo-chan's day!"

"Yes, is, but Onee-chan promise to be helping Shampoo for date tonight! Do no remember?"

"But-..."

"Is, how say, 'double date', yes?"

"That is close enough, my dear."

"Is how do before, when need share date with Pancake-Girl, except now, Shampoo like and happy be with both on date."

"You mean, you want me to be there for the 'whole' date, and not just ...? Oh my!"

"Is more fun that way, yes?"

Shampoo's infectious smile warmed the nervous young woman's heart, even as she worried what people might think if they saw the three of them together. "I suppose so, however-..."

"If feel bad, can do again for date in two day, then both get two date. Is fair, yes?"

"It is hard to argue with that logic, would you not agree?"

Nodoka's hard gaze made it difficult for Kasumi to even think of an excuse, briefly wondering if this was how Ranma felt most of the time. "Well, I suppose..."

"Good, then let us get you both ready!"

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Ukyo had a nagging feeling something bad was going to happen that day, and she had been trying to figure out a way to prevent it. The main problem being that she had no idea what it was that she needed to stop, though she was fairly certain that it involved Shampoo's date. While they had been at work that morning, she had searched the other girl's things looking for a clue, but had found nothing significant. As she was trying to figure out what to do next, she ran across something she caused her cool blood to freeze. "Ranchan, who-, who're these girls?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm trainin' 'em, Nabiki got 'em ta start workin' fer us, cleanin' apartments, but I gotta train 'em up ta do it right."

Ukyo was having a difficult time restraining her laughter as she pictured Ranma teaching people to be domestics, that was until she realized that it meant that he would be surrounded by 'maids'!

"What's so funny?"

"Nuthin', absolutely nuthin'!" All humor having left her, she turned to go, but hesitated for a moment to turn back to him as he spoke.

"Oh, hey, why ain't ya at school, something goin' on?"

"Yeah, Ah had stuff ta do, so, um, gotta be goin' ta work, but ya make sure ya git plenty a' rest tanight, yer gonna need yer energy tamarrah, Sugar!" After leaving the estate, Ukyo turned away from the house, and headed for the business district, she needed more time to plan!

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"There you go, both of you look lovely!"

Kasumi looked herself over in the mirror. "Is it not a little ...tight?"

"Is should be, is no feel good?"

"Oh my no, it is actually very comfortable, but it's just so ...revealing!"

"Do not worry, you look fine."

"What matter is what Ranma think! No want look too too sexy for Airen?"

"I-..."

"Yes, too true. Now, shall we go see?"

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Having barely finished cleaning up after his lessons, Ranma felt as though he had been railroaded into the den, but before he was able to react, his mother called out. "Okay, you may enter now."

Words failed him as Shampoo and Kasumi filed into the room, dressed in the matching skin-tight, silk dresses, each slit up to the hip on the opposite side. Standing there almost frozen, Ranma's jaw wagged as if he were trying to speak while his eyes bugged-out of his skull.

"Come now Son, this is no time to be playing 'deer caught in headlights'! What do you think?"

"Yes, how Kasumi-nee-chan look?"

"Ya look ...amazing!" Ranma's eyes were starting to feel dry from not blinking in some time.

"Oh my, surely I could not look THAT good..."

"Is true."

"Yeah, I barely recognize ya..."

"No is nice say no look good all time!"

"Urk! No, I mean, yer both even prettier than normal! Yeah, that's it..."

"Aw, that is so sweet of you to say, Anata!"

"Is too too good of Airen to notice!" With a wink, Shampoo walked over to kiss Ranma on the cheek, pulling Kasumi along with her.

"But, what's goin' on?"

"Is decided, Shampoo and sister share date time with Ranma. Is okay, Ranma no mind if Kasumi-onee-chan come on date too, yes?"

Seeing the expectant, and hopeful expressions all around him, Ranma was unable to refuse the request.

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Bursting through the doors, Ukyo shouted at the top of her lungs. "KONATSU-CHAN!"

She almost jumped out of her skin as the cute kunoichi suddenly 'appeared', kneeling at her side. "Yes, Goshujin-sama, what may this humble one do for you?"

"Ah need ya ta discretely tail Ranchan and Shampoo on their date, an' let me know if somethin' happens!"

"'Something'?"

"Oh, ya know, anythin' ya think I oughta know 'bout. Okay?"

"Yes mistress! I will do as you ask!"

Before she knew it, she could no longer sense Konatsu anywhere, and she breathed a sigh of relief. With her assistant on the case, she felt better, at least she would know if anything bad happened, and that would allow her to try to keep her mind focused on work. If anyone she knew could secretly follow her 'Ranchan', it would be the 'genius kunoichi', Konatsu.

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"Mmmmm, that really was good food, thanks fer takin' us."

Tightening her grip on his arm, the young woman beamed with pride. "Is Shampoo pleasure, too too glad like!"

"Yes, it was lovely. I might have to try to learn how to make that one dish you had." Kasumi rested her head on Ranma's other shoulder as they walked along the street, only flinching slightly as she felt the eyes upon their public display.

"Yeah, it was great, but I'd bet if ya made it, it'd be way better!"

Kasumi blushed with a giggle. "I would be willing to be that it would be even better if we all made it together."

"Aiyaaa... Is good plan! Now maybe Onee-chan more happy go out, let other cook for change. Is good try new thing, yes?"

"I know, but I do so love to make things, especially when there is someone who appreciates what I do." Kasumi squeezed Ranma's arm as she caught his gaze and her face went flush.

"Someone'd have ta be stupid ta not love everythin' ya make!"

"Oh no, I am nothing special..."

"No be stupid, just no have good taste! Shampoo knew elder what knew many thing, but always eat thing Shampoo no eat if bet!"

"Yeah, had ta eat a lot a' gross stuff on th' road when things get hard, but snake ain't too bad, just think a' it like 'land eels'."

"Oh my..."

"I'd bet ya could even make dirt taste good!"

"You give me far too much credit, Dana-sama."

"Onee-chan just no know how take credit!"

"Ya got that right."

"Listen to Airen, say what true!"

Kasumi was uncomfortable with all of the praise, and tried to think of a way to change the subject. "So, um, what did you have in mind to do next?"

"Shampoo ask, and great grandmother tell what movie should go see!"

"Oh? Is it any good?"

"Come too too much recommend, Ranma mother also say 'is good'!"

"Wait, you mean it is in there? Oh my, that is so, so..."

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Konatsu watched them enter the building, and quickly ran to find a pay-phone in order to check-in with Ukyo. "Yes Goshujin-sama. Kasumi Tendo-sama is with them. ...No, I am not mistaken. They went into a rather strange movie theater, to see something called 'Warrior Women Like It Rough'. ...Yes Mistress, I believe everyone near here heard you, I will keep you informed. As you say, I will watch them in there as well. Understood, I will also tell you if it is any good, and report on anything that looks noteworthy."

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Over the last several days, Ranma had been finding himself far more easily distracted by the flirtatious nature of his female companions, and this move was far from helping! On the other hand, he was learning a number of things that he and Hinako had never dreamt of trying, he could not believe that people did some of that to feel 'good', but looking for the signs he had been taught, it was clear that even while they were screaming, they were enjoying themselves. He would occasionally steel glances to each of his dates, and they both seemed to be enraptured in the experience, clinging to him, their free hands in their laps, and staring almost unblinkingly at the screen while muttering interjections under their breaths.

Though as engrossing as the film had been, hearing the raspy panting coming from the women on his arms was causing far more of a disturbance for him. It had had been increasingly difficult for him to ignore certain urges over the last couple of years, but ever since he had received his 'special lessons' the other day, his preoccupation with such thoughts had become almost impossible to ignore. Had both of his arms not been locked in place, he might have even considered one of the 'training exercises' he had learned, which was likely for the best, he could not imagine what someone would think of him if he had been seen doing something so embarrassing! They would have called him a pervert for certain, and he would not have been able to defend himself against the accusation.

Every so often he could sense Shampoo start to lean over, as if she were going to rest her head in his lap, only to hesitate and return to leaning on his shoulder before actually moving very far at all. He was starting to wonder if she was having trouble staying awake, and if he might end up carrying her home, however the thought of feeling her pressed against his back was making him feel something other than simply concern for her well being.

As the film progressed, he found himself wanting to try some of the techniques they were using out on the young women on his arms. Suddenly a thought occurred to him and he could not help but to wonder if that was what they had in mind when they brought him there in the first place? Shampoo, he would not have put it passed, but he could not imagine Kasumi being involved in such 'perverted' a plan. No, that had to only be his illicit imagination, there had to be something else happening that he could not understand.

As the feature ended, he found it a bit strange that they were the only ones who were ready to leave, but he did not give it a second thought as they filed out of the theater. Shampoo was affectionately nuzzling on his shoulder, but Kasumi's eye were a bit wide and she rarely blinked.

"What Ranma think of movie?"

"Well, I got ta say, th' sound was really good, it seemed like it was comin' from all around us!" He felt as though Shampoo wanted to say something, but she stayed silent for a long moment.

"Shampoo just hope Husband watch and take note."

"Well, I mean-..." With almost no warning, she halted their progress in front of a pair of doors.

"Sorry, Shampoo need wash hand, be just moment. Airen no run way, be right back!"

With a shake of her head, Kasumi finally decided to rejoin the conversation. "Yes, I think that WOULD be a wise plan, I do hope that you will not miss us terribly while we are gone, Anata."

He decided that going to the restroom was probably a good idea and entered the other room, he had been feeling an urge down there for some time, and he was finally allowed to move on his own again!

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Ukyo's anxiety was eating her up, and her customers had been visually on edge around her. Few remained by this point, and the ones who did, kept her in their sight out of the corner of their eye as her aura occasionally flared and she paced around the kitchen. Despite having Konatsu reporting in to her about their activities, and nothing unusual had really happened so far, her feeling of dread would not leave her.

When the phone finally rang again, she felt as though a weight had lifted and she stepped out of the groove she had worn into her floor. "Ucchan's okonomiyaki, how kin Ah he'p ya? Oh, Konatsu-chan, what's happenin'? I see, nothing in th' movie, good, good. Wait! What'd ya say? NO! Ya gotta stop 'em! ...No, yer right, Ah should be th' one. Ah'll be there as soon as Ah kin!"

Slamming the receiver back onto the phone, she turned to face the dining area. "Okay y'all, Ah'm sorry, but we're now closed fer th' night! Ah need y'all ta git out!" As they all quickly fled for the exit, she turned to wave at them. "Thanks fer choosin' Ucchan's, th' best okonomiyaki in Japan!"

Without even bothering to clean-up, she started for the door, only to pause long enough to sniff under her arms... "Damn, Ah need a shower! Ranchan, please wait fer meh!"

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NOTES

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Ru'usetai, the bonding of sisters, was loosely inspired by the Klingon bonding ritual of R'uustai, modified heavily to fit my needs for this story.

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How will our evening end, you will have to come back next time for, 'This Little Piggy Went to Market', or 'Wee, Wee, Wee, All the Way Home', and find out!


	48. Chapter 48

Here's a little thing I wrote, you might want to read it mote for mote. Don't worry, we happy now!

Warning: Keep this story away from your genitals! Bad paper cuts could ensue.

Chapter 48 - Once, Twice, Three times a Lady.

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The look of a feline predator made Ranma a bit uncomfortable as Shampoo cornered him immediately after they entered their hotel room. "Wuh-, why ya already naked?"

He jumped the moment she got within his 'personal space'. "Shampoo have reason, Airen no be scared..."

"I, I ain't scared!"

"Is good, then stay still for Shampoo." She directed him to sit on the bed and stripped him before walking back over to Kasumi. "Now, Airen have private show be make in room. Watch close now." With delicate movements, Shampoo slowly started stripping an embarrassed Kasumi out of her dress.

"Oh...?" She did not want to admit it, but after watching that movie, a less-than-tiny part of her was curious and enticed by what might be about to happen.

"Is okay. Trust Shampoo, yes?"

"Of course!" There was only one person whom she trusted more, and she glanced over into his eyes, to see him with a wide-eyed interest.

"Relax for Shampoo..." Removing the last of the taller woman's garments, she gently took her into her arms, whispering into her ear, "Remember, is for Airen." With her lips already in the area, she nibbled on her earlobe before moving down her neck. Gradually their lips met as time seemed to stop for both of them, and it took them a while to notice Ranma's almost immediate reaction. "Aiyaaa, Husband finally notice Shampoo! SOOO HAPPY! Is Onee-chan ready help Shampoo more?"

"I am fine, you go right ahead..." Kasumi moved to the side, sitting in a chair, and pretending she was not peeking through her fingers as Shampoo's head began bobbing up and down near Ranma's lap. She could not really see what the other girl was doing, her view obstructed by the voluminous hair, but she could imagine what was happening as she pictured herself in that place. "Oh my..." She could barely move, her unblinking eyes no longer making any pretense at aversion as her fingers absently started playing with her own toys.

"Oh man! How'd ya git so good at that?" Ranma's head was tilted back, his eyes were crossed, and his tongue was practically hanging out of his mouth.

She paused long enough to happily answer his question. "Shampoo practice while Husband sleep!"

That was almost enough to bring him out of his lackadaisical stupor. "WHAT?"

"Shampoo want know everything what make Airen happy, so study hard!" She quickly went back to work trying to make it difficult for him to form an objection.

"That don't ...seem right! What'd ya think ...KA-sumi?" He wanted to stand-up and protest having been treated that way, but the waves of pleasure prevented all but one one part of him from responding.

Kasumi's hands froze and she could do little more than blush. "Well..."

"See, Kasumi's speechless!" Ranma still found himself unable to move under the onslaught of the eager young woman's mouth and hands. It was far more intense than what he remembered from his lessons, and he could not help but wonder why that might be.

"Is because Onee-chan do too! Now, quit asking stupid question, and let Shampoo make happy!" That revelation was almost more than he could take, and swiftly exploded into Shampoo's ecstatic mouth. After a few moments to swallow her payload, she hungrily resumed her suckling, amazed that he did not start to go flaccid as she expected. "Aiyaaa... Husband no need break? Time for next too too good thing!" She slid a bit forward, using her chest to massage his groin. "Shampoo always know Ranma best one for husband!"

"But, why would ya go ta that much trouble?"

"Is wife job keep husband happy." Seeing that he was still laying back on the bed, she decided to take advantage of it, and rotated herself around to also straddle his face before resuming. "Now husband do job, and keep wife happy! Mmmmmmm... Elder call 'position of most harmony', make both feel good, and can look like yin and yang."

"Oh my, that is so..." She had never considered such a thought, at first it seemed so rude to want to make someone else pleasure her, if she were trying to make him feel good, even if that thought tantalized her, but she thought of it as helping each other and had to resist the urge to want to try it for herself.

"Sure Onee-chan no want help now?"

She was afraid that if she did, then she might not be able to resist any further, and she did not want to get in the middle of her friend's big day. "OH, oh, no, I am ...fine. I was just trying to help you, and we have done that. I should probably leav-..."

"No go! Wait please, Shampoo still need help with big thing!"

"But, it looks like you have it ...well in hand." Kasumi could not help but staring at exactly that, her hands still moving on their own.

"...And mouth, but no is point! Have other thing want try, like say, 'no can do alone'!" She could feel him growing more firm in her hands as she spoke, and got an idea. "Can tell, Ranma agree with Shampoo, want Onee-chan stay too too much."

"Is, is that true?" For the first time since the 'show' began, Kasumi's hands stopped moving, surprised that she could be anything but 'in the way'.

Shampoo lifted her hips, giving him a chance to speak clearly. "Well, I mean, if ya want, I don't want ya ta be mad, er nuthin', but I don't mind. Ya want me ta use my hands on ya like that trainin' session, er somethin'?" Ranma remembered what Hinako had told him, and he wanted to make sure she knew he wanted her to be happy.

"Oh my!" She could not believe that they actually desired her presence, it seemed so 'wrong' and yet tantalizing at the same time. "I-... Okay, what do you need me to do?"

"Lay next to Ranma, face same as Shampoo. Okay, Airen, roll on side. Now, Husband keep work on Shampoo, Shampoo work on Onee-chan, and Onee-chan work on Ranma. Is okay, yes?"

"Oh my... Ranma, you are so much bigger all of a sudden!" A wide-eyed Kasumi started to drool as they followed their instructions.

"Is that bad?"

"No be stupid, better be bigger! Now see? Is good when trust Shampoo! Now, no more stopping!" She could not figure out why some people were so troublesome, but she could not deny that it was turning out to have been well worth the wait.

"Ya sure ya want ta do this, Kasumi? I can stop-..." Ranma thought about some of the techniques he learned the other night that could keep Shampoo far too occupied to care what Kasumi did.

She had not grown accustomed to hearing her name spoken so familiarly, and she felt a small shiver of delight. "Oh no, I would like to try, if you do not mind Dana-sama... Please, pardon my crude abilities." For some reason, the words Nodoka had spoken to her earlier that day came back to her, 'Anything goes in love and war...' She tried to remember the lessons she had been given on this subject as she firmly gripped the rod before her, almost afraid it might poke her in the eye. "Oh my, I can feel your heart beat!"

As Shampoo tried to keep up with her end of the bargain, she found Kasumi's toys, and started using them in her efforts. She was especially shocked to have found where the second one was, but then some of her own lessons with Nodoka flashed through her mind and she quickly understood. She was careful not to mix them up as she did her best to please her newest family member.

Despite have contemplated such things, Ranma never expected to actually be in this position... After his last date with his teacher, he actually anticipated Shampoo doing something like this, but not Kasumi! He started to wonder how many of his other 'dates' had wanted to also do this with him. He could not decide if that was something he wanted or not, but it was making him think he really was a 'pervert', not that he had any interest in stopping at that point. As he felt Shampoo's body convulsing in his arms and a warm liquid on his face, he decided that he was a bit tired of constantly being pushed around and that it was high time to try something he saw in the film they had watched.

He quickly spun them around as they gasped at the sudden change, and gently placed Shampoo on top of Kasumi, facing each other so that their hips lined up. Taking up a position behind them, he slid his firm member between them, rubbing against one of their most sensitive spots.

"Oh my, this is what they did...Oooooo!" Combined with the vibrations coming from within, Kasumi found herself in almost instant rapture.

"Aiyaaaaa! Husband be rough with Shampoo! Best, date, ever!" The two young women began to instinctively rub their pelvises together to increase the friction, and the rest of their bodies soon followed. "Wo aiii niiiiiiiiiiiiii!" Without thinking, her lips connected with the pair below hers and their tongues soon intertwined. The moaning and heavy breaths encouraged Ranma to pick up his pace, causing their panting to deepen and sending both of them over the top.

Their breathing relaxed a bit as they rolled apart and looked up at Ranma with a smile in their eyes. "Shampoo no can wait more! Airen ready be one with Shampoo, 'be man among men'?"

Without realizing it, Ranma glanced over at Kasumi who almost imperceptibly nodded and signaled him with her eyes. He quickly looked back to Shampoo's pleading face and nodded. "Ya got one a' them, rubber things, just in case?"

"No is need, time is perfect, just hurry and drill Shampoo into floor!" Her sharp intake of breath came with the feeling of tearing, but she gave no other indication of discomfort.

"Are ya okay?" Remembering how pained Hinako had been, he was concerned for the beautiful young woman below him.

"Shampoo no could be better! Is good to trust Shampoo, now 'thrust' Shampoo! No stopping, want Airen please move now!" She wrapped her legs around his waist, trying to get him to move his hips. "Aiyaaaa! So happy!" The bit of pain from her hymen tearing was nothing to her, the joy of becoming one with Ranma far surpassed that minor annoyance.

Seeing the trickle of blood, Ranma was still worried about hurting her, but she was not giving him much choice. As her quickly building cries of rapture encouraged him to proceed, his concern rapidly evaporated and proceeded to build up speed with each thrust.

"Airen hit womb! No, is go inside! WO AI NI!" Her eyes crossed and almost rolled back in her head as she tried to thrash about, only Ranma pinning her down kept her in place.

"Porutio penetration?" Kasumi's eyes went wide as she gawked at them.

"Is too too big! Almost feel like hitting back! Aiyaaa..."

"Oh my!" She had never heard of anyone doing that in any of her stories, and Nodoka had never mentioned it being possible either. Just imagining it had her hands working furiously between her legs and across her breasts.

Ranma could feel Shampoo undulating against him and squeezing him from every side as he continued his onslaught, her body begging him to stay within her. As nice as it felt with Hinako, this feeling barely compared, Shampoo was a much more active participant, and between that and her passionate kisses, he almost felt as though he might get sucked inside of her at any moment! It was almost as if they were of one body, connected at both ends, where one ended, the other began, and nothing else mattered. Even with her mouth covered by his own, her lustful moans still filled the room, and only served to embolden Ranma, spurring him on to try new things. Remembering his lessons, he allowed his hands to wander, looking for any of the sensitive places he remembered, guided by her own reactions.

Kasumi eyes had subconsciously shifted into her ki sight as her hands absently pleasured herself. She had never seen anything like it before, the waves of emotion radiating off of them filled their room, crashing into her and everything else. The dazzling colors were swirling and intermixing everywhere she looked, it was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen in her life. Even as she was screaming, Kasumi could tell that Shampoo was in utter ecstasy, and for the first time in her memory, she was feeling a bit envious of someone, she had never felt such longing in her life.

"Aiyaaa! Ranma is keep rub every too too nice place inside Shampoo!" With a herculean effort, Shampoo managed to roll-over and get Ranma onto his back, grinning like a madwoman. "Ooooooo...Onee-chan, now is chance, sit Husband face!"

"What?" Ranma's expression was almost as confused as she felt, but he was paying her very little attention, something that made Kasumi a tad bit sad.

"Hurry! No time lose!"

The urgency in her voice incited Kasumi to action, so she quickly gave-in to her desires, swiveling her hips, throwing a leg over Ranma, and straddling him so that she could look down and see Ranma's eyes. He looked up at her as he began to probe her neither regions with his tongue, and she did her best to smile back at him, though her facial muscles started to twitch as electricity shot through her body. "OOOOOOOoooooh mmmmmyyyYYY...!"

"Airen too toooo good at this!" She tossed her head back, her hair flying in every direction.

"Oh-oh-OOOOOOH YES!"

As Ranma continued to pick up speed, a delirious Shampoo lost her ability speak Japanese, her exclamations becoming mostly unintelligible to anyone else in the room, the one thing of which they could be assured was that she was enjoying herself. Kasumi was still managing to retain some of her composure, though she too was beyond coherent sentences and simply panting, though whenever their eyes met, she tried to express her appreciation for him, even if her expression might have been a bit more 'crazed' than usual.

Ranma felt the waves of ever heightening ecstasy radiating off of the women sitting on top of him, and it pushed him on to want them to feel even better! He had spent so much time causing other people to be upset at him and hurting others, that to be able to make someone feel that good was simply incredible. He decided that Hinako was right after all, in a lot of ways, it really WAS a lot like a battle, and there was NO way that Ranma Saotome was going to 'lose'!

"No, no know if can take much more... Is Airen, close?" Shampoo gasped as her sweat covered body thrashed about.

Kasumi was somewhat disappointed when Ranma lifted her slightly, but she could not resist, and found that she could still feel his him as he spoke. "Huh? Ya don't want ta keep goin'?"

"Do, but need short rest soon..." Having lost control of herself some time ago, Shampoo did her best to concentrate everything she had into contracting her muscles, her pride would not allow her to stop before he managed to finish at least once! "Do no feel good in Shampoo?"

"Oh yeah, I ain't never felt this good!" Kasumi thrilled as the vibrations of his voice and breath would hit certain parts of her.

"No want get off rocks?"

"What? Oh, uh, but I thought I wasn't supposed ta do that?"

"Who tell this?"

"Well, Sensei, during our lessons, said it ain't good."

"No, is main reason do! Shampoo want feel cum inside! Please Airen, Shampoo elder say feel too too good!" By the time Shampoo felt Ranma climax inside of her, she was completely covered in sweat and her legs felt like rubber. She had lost count of the number of times he had made her melt, but there was one thing that was clear in her mind, she was going to need to train a LOT more, if she was going to be able to keep up with her husband now that he had consummated their marriage! "Too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too..."

"Shampoo-chan! Are you all right?"

"Need Onee-chan take over for bit, Airen beat Shampoo again!" That said, she curled up into a ball, and rolled off of him, and onto the floor, behind the bed. "Wo de Ai ren!"

"Shampoo!" Ranma quickly sat up, surprising Kasumi as she slid into his lap.

"Is okay, just take short nap here..." She pressed her face against the cool metal table next to the bed. "No have too too much fun without Shampoo..."

"But- ...oh my!" Kasumi's attention had been brought back to Ranma, wondering if Shampoo would wake up again before he was ready to go again when she realized something. "Ranma-kun, you, you did not need a ...'rest'?"

"Nah, this ain't nuthin', that is if ya 'want' ta keep goin'...?"

"Oh my... but I, don't ...think." Was she ready to take that step? Kasumi was torn, she did not really feel as if were ready to give up her virginity, and yet ...she had absolutely no intention of stopping either!

"Huh?"

"I do not think that we should do 'that' ...exactly." There was at least one thing that his mother had been training her to do that would not 'technically' count, was there not?

"Then what ya want ta do? Just tell me what ya need me-..."

"Oh, I do, Goshujin-sama, just lay there and ...close your eyes please!" Kasumi blushed as she thought about what she was about to do, but she did not 'really' think of herself as 'married' to Ranma, no matter what Shampoo had implied in their little ceremony, though she could not deny that she wanted to become one with him. He had always been the kindest man she had ever known, and he did not like to play jokes on her, toying with her emotions, nor did he treat her like a child or ignore her. She cared about him more than just about any other person she could think of, including her own immediate family, and she wanted to show him exactly how she felt.

With long practiced control, she removed the vibrator that she had kept hidden at most times, setting it aside, and positioned herself above him, hesitating as she looked down at his handsome face. "Anata..."

"Yeah?"

"Oh my, um, just a moment, I am almost ready...!" He was already slicked up from being in Shampoo, and so she figured it ought to be easy enough.

Seconds later, Ranma felt warm flesh slowly engulf him, taking a while to reach the base, and he heard Kasumi let out a gasp. "Ya okay?"

"Ooooh yeeees... Al-most there." After making certain that she was relaxed enough, she started moving. "All right, you may look now."

Ranma hesitated for a moment, as Kasumi clasped his hands in hers. "This feels so different, much tighter!"

"Is it ...bad?" Kasumi was hesitant, worried he might be disgusted with her.

"No, it feels good, but I mean, are you okay, it ain't too tight fer ya, er nuthin' is it?"

"It is a bit tight, but I am growing accustomed to it, just let me go slowly at first please."

"Well, yeah, do what makes ya feel good, let me know if ya want me ta move."

"Soon Darling, soon."

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After getting cleaned-up, changed, and even putting on a bit of make-up, Ukyo hurtled toward her meeting place to find Konatsu. "There ya are, where'd they go?"

"They went in there, here is the room number."

"There, a LOVE HOTEL? Oh no! Gotta hurry!"

"Remember, you are a ninja. You can do this!"

"Ta hell with that! Gotta stop Shampoo 'for it's too late!"

"I am not sure-..." Ukyo was gone before the kunoichi could finish the sentence.

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Kicking in the door, Ukyo saw the absolute worst thing she could have possibly imagined, Shampoo was nowhere to be seen, having fallen off of the far side of the bed, while Ranma and Kasumi were having sex, right before her eyes! "Ranchan! How couldja?"

"Oh, hey Ucchan, what're ya doin' here?"

"Ah was here ta stop ...THIS! ...Er, well with Shampoo, but what the HELL, Ranchan?"

"Well, Kasumi said it didn't count, cause it's in th' butt."

"WHAT?"

"Oh my..."

"How? But-...? Why th' hell? WHAT?"

Voices and the pounding of feet grew louder from the hallway. "Hey! Stop right there!"

"What'd ya do?"

Tears in her eyes, Ukyo threw down a smoke bomb before vanishing back into the hall just as several security guards came into view.

"Ucchan..." Ranma watched the hall as he felt Ukyo's blue ki retreating into the distance.

Most of them continued to search for the intruder, while one stopped to check on the occupants of the room. "Are you all okay? We are terribly sorry!"

"Yeah, but, could ya close th' door!"

"Oh my!" Kasumi quickly covered herself with the blanket.

"SORRY! We will post a guard to hold the door closed, when you are ready, we will switch you to another room, and of course your stay will be at no charge for this laps in security!"

"But-..."

"Our best room, and we will get you a voucher so that you may stay here again for free! We cannot express how sorry we are that you were interrupted at this time. We will leave you to your entertainment now." With that he shut the door with a slight bang!

"Oh my! We were seen!"

"I'm sorry, Kasumi, ya don't deserve fer yer name ta be dragged through the mud."

"No, don't stop now!" The interruption over, Kasumi returned her attention to the young man she was straddling.

"What?"

Using one hand to balance, she reached behind her, placing her other hand on his hip, encouraging him to continue moving. "It is you I am worried about, I have no reputation to ruin, especially now that I have left my family."

"Mine is pretty bad, yer th' one everyone loves."

"Oh no, not everyone."

"They would if they knew ya."

"Oooooh Ranma! You say the sweetest things." Kasumi swooned as her hips started to rock.

"Airen do too too sweet thing too!" She placed her hand on the side of the bed before her head poked up moments later.

"Shampoo-chan! When did you awaken?"

"When door slam shut. What happen?"

"Oh, oh my... You, you heard all of that?"

"Most. Want know, Shampoo too, love both Airen!"

"Wait, what?"

"Oh my..."

Climbing back onto the bed, the buxom beauty did her best to help the two of them enjoy the experience, kissing and fondling whatever she could reach, not giving either of them time to question anything aloud.

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"Hope new room have stronger lock!"

"We will continue to be ever vigilant, you do not have to worry about any other disruptions, unless you call for us."

"Thank you very much, you have been too kind."

"It is the least we can do, your stay here is supposed to be strictly confidential, we pride ourselves on our discretion!"

"Oh I do hope that no one got hurt..."

"Oh, no, everyone is perfectly fine, do not worry yourself."

"Is any way watch more movie?"

"Oh, any movie we have in the system is yours to watch for free, they are always included in the room rental here. We do our best to provide anything you might need, to ...'get in the mood'." With a grin, the man bowed. "Is there anything else we can provide to make your stay more pleasant?"

"Shampoo want flavor lubricant and massage oil."

"Third drawer on your left, and the second shelf on your right. If there is nothing else, you three have a wonderful evening."

As the man turned to leave, Shampoo turned back to her 'roommates' with a grin. "First need clean Ranma, then Shampoo turn again!"

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"Why? Why didn't ya tell meh that Shampoo left?" Ukyo slammed the door to her business close as they entered.

"I am sorry Mistress! I did not notice anyone leave, the last I saw, they were all in there together!"

"AAAAHHHH! WHY'S EVERYTHIN' ALWAYS GOTTA BE LIKE THIS? 'Doesn't count', 'doesn't count'! Ah'll show ya what 'doesn't count'! Damn ya Ranchan, why? Why? It jus' ain't fair! Ah guess Ah'm what 'don't count'!"

"Ukyo-sama?"

"What happened ta Sensei stoppin' it? Thought ya gave meh a 'guarantee'! What kin Ah do now? How'm Ah supposed ta fight with Kasumi Tendo? Someone that e'en cooks better 'en me! Kasumi-san's like th' prettiest woman in Japan, and Ah'm jus' a tomboy!"

"Goshujin-sama?"

"Where'd Ah put that?" Heading back into her kitchen, Ukyo found a bottle of low alcohol cooking wine, opened it, and drained half of the bottle in one try. "DAMNIT! IT AIN'T FAIR!"

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"I do like the idea of an 'older gentleman', but cannot deny that younger men have a certain ...charm, do you not agree?"

"Shampoo no know about that, but know prefer Ranma at any age!"

"I probably should not have let Ranma do that though, this was a risky week..."

"Is best time!"

"Still, congratulations young ladies, this is cause for celebration!" Nodoka was ecstatic, she could not have asked for a better result for her goals! "Here, have some more tea, and I will make o-sekihan!"

"Oh my..."

"What is?"

"Sekihan is red beans and rice, it is a meal served to mark special occasions..."

"Such as last night, when you both became women!"

"And Ranma become man among mens!"

"Oh, yes... that too." If they did not know, it would do no good to worry about it now, Nodoka did not want to ruin their mood.

Shampoo thought it was odd that she was not more excited about that, but was far too happy for herself to worry too much about it. "Is too too good day for all us. Shampoo never be so happy!"

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According to Hinako, Ukyo had not come home, nor did she go to class that day, and Ranma was worried about how she was going to react to what she saw the night before. He was not exactly looking forward to it, he expected to be in for a beating, and was bracing himself for the upcoming pain. With nowhere else to look, he had made his way to her restaurant.

"Hey, Konatsu, Ucchan here?"

The 'waitress' stepped aside to allow him to pass. "Yes, the mistress is upstairs, in bed."

"Oh?" He started to wonder if she might have had something other than fighting in mind after all...

"Shall I announce you?"

"Nah, I'll just go on up, okay?"

"As you wish, Ranma-sama, try not to make things worse."

"Okay, thanks ...wait, what?"

"I believe you know what I mean."

"Uuuuh..." Ranma tried not to acknowledge what they were both thinking, and walked up the stairs, and toward her room. With a light knock, he called out to her, "Ucchan?"

"Huh? Wha'd'ya want?"

"Well, uh, I came ta get ya fer our date, ya know?"

"Yeah, whatevah, what's th' point now?"

"'Cause, um, it's yer turn, an' all..."

"Oh, is it now? The great an' powerful Ranchan's gonna grace meh with yer presence? How magnanimous a' ya! Ain't ya jus' a prince?"

Ranma thought he heard her hiccup, but it was hard to tell through the door. "So, ya don't want ta do nuthin'?"

"Yes! No! Ah don't know! Ah don't think so, not tahnight... Maybe tahmarrah."

"Don't think I can, I gotta go out with Kasumi tomorrow."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGG! Ya need ta go ...NOW!"

"I don't wanna lose ya as a friend, Ucchan!" Ranma looked hopeful, even if no one else could see him.

"Ah-... Ah jus' don't know if Ah kin do that, Ranma, Ah jus' don't know..."

"Ucchan, far as I'm concerned, we're friends, we've always been friends, an' I'll always be yer friend ...even if ya won't be mine. Ya know where ta find me." With his head hung low, Ranma left the building.

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"Dana-sama, you are back!"

"Yeah, Ucchan didn't want ta talk."

"I am sorry, would 'you' like to talk about it?"

"Nah, I just wish I knew what I could do ta make everyone happy."

"I do not believe that you can."

"What? How can ya say that?"

"I am sorry Ranma, but it is true, you cannot always please everyone, it is just not possible in every situation ...and yours, has become very complicated."

"Yeah, but-..."

"You cannot go through life trying to make everyone else happy, sometimes you need to worry about yourself too."

"Me? I ain't th' one that-..."

"You do have a decision you will need to make soon, do you not?"

"I guess, I don't want ta make nobody mad, but I still don't really understand any a' this stuff. It's all just confusin'."

"You do not need to answer me, but think to yourself, is there anyone who you always want to spend time with, or someone that you cannot get out of your mind?"

"I-, I don't know..." Ranma wondered about that, he enjoyed spending time with all of his friends to some degree or another, was there someone he preferred over the others?

"You do not need to figure it out right now, it is not as if you can get married this early any longer anyway."

"What?"

"You did not know? They changed the age you can legally marry this year. You will have to wait until your birthday Mister!" Kasumi gave him a warm smile that belayed the sternness in her voice.

"Wow, nobody told me!"

"I am not exactly surprised, but do not worry, there is little anyone can do in this country right now to force you. How about we get you some food, and help you cheer up, okay?" Kasumi put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, hoping to put him at ease.

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Decked out in her best combat gear and loaded down with as many weapons as she could carry, Ukyo walked through the dining room with a purpose in her step and a crazed expression on her face. Her look of fury was enough to cook batter, and the floor protested her every step. She looked every bit prepared for war as she approached the door. She was surprised to see the petite kunoichi, who normally had no backbone to speak of, blocking her path. "What'd ya think yer doin'?"

Looking into her dead eyes, Konatsu flinched at her tone, but refused to move out of the doorway. "Ukyo-sama, please, think about what you are doing!"

"Didn't ya swear ta always he'p meh?" Her cold voice cut through her assistant's heart, though still not budging a centimeter.

"And I will, if that is what Ukyo-sama asks of me, but I know that when you calm down, Master will hate yourself if you try to do this. For your own sake, if you do not order me to assist you in this, I will help you, by doing everything in my power, to stop you." The 'genius kunoichi' tensed, waiting for the response, and seeing her battle aura triple in size, prepared to receive an attack.

Konatsu was caught off guard when, without lifting a finger, her aura flickered out, and she collapsed under the weight of her own equipment. "GOSHUJIN-SAMA!"

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"Aiyaaa...! Ranma come home to Shampoo, is so happy!"

"Yeah, well, it ain't like I got nowhere else ta be, I guess..." Ranma's nervous laughter belayed his attempted calm attitude.

"Is okay, Shampoo and Big Sister give Airen too too much fun night! Maybe Shampoo even let make delivery in rear too, if Ranma want."

"You too?" Ranma wondered why they were so obsessed with that, not that he particularly objected, but it was certainly not something that was covered in his lessons.

"If is what Ranma want, then Shampoo want too!"

"But I-..."

Kasumi placed a calming hand on his shoulder as she entered the room. "I know you must be upset, but I am sure everything will work out. Why not allow me to draw you a bath and Shampoo-chan can, wash your ...back."

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Ukyo awoke, bandaged, in bed, and wearing only her panties, sarashi, and a yukata. She tried hard to remember how she had gotten there, but was drawing a blank ...and her head was pounding! Opening her eyes made the world spin and it felt like needles were stabbing her brain through her eyes. Closing them made the world spin even further, and she forced herself to deal with the pain instead. Both the spinning and the pain made her want to vomit, but she managed to resist the urge.

"Ukyo-sama, are you feeling any better this morning?" The beautiful kunoichi handed the groggy chef an analgesic and a glass of water. "Here you are Master."

"Kuso, if this is 'better', Ah don't wanna know how Ah felt last night..." Taking the pills, the dehydrated young woman guzzled the water as if she had just crossed a desert.

"Ready to 'kill', it seemed." Konatsu barely reacted to the slap the followed.

"Ah said Ah didn't wanna know! Ow..." The quick movement, and her own loud voice made her even more queasy as well as making her throbbing head all the worse. Suddenly, things started to become clear as some of her memories slowly came into focus. "Oh gods! What did Ah do?"

"But, Mistress, you said that you did not want to know..."

"No, tell meh! Ah gotta know! ...ow." Clutching her head and rubbing her temples, she pleaded with her helper.

"You did nothing." Konatsu waited a moment for that to sink in through the panic. "I told you that I would not allow you to do anything you would regret."

"Ukyo no BAKA!" The pain in her head matched the harshness of her self-inflicted insult. As an Osakan girl, the word 'baka' carried a much more serious weight to it, than in the rest of the nation, which was why it always bothered her so much when Akane threw the word around so much, especially toward her 'Ranchan'. "Shimatta! All those years Ah thought Ranchan wasn't worthy a' meh, an' turns out, Ah'm th' one that ain't worthy!" Every word shouted was punctuated with a stabbing pain to her skull, which she felt she deserved. "Ah ain't nevah drinkin' again!"

"From my years of working in a bar, I can tell you that almost everyone has said that at least once ...most of them return."

"What'm Ah supposed ta do if I can't git married?"

"It is not as if you do not have other things in your life."

"Ah know, but ...Ranchan?"

"Is far from the only man in Japan."

"Yeah, but ten years! More 'en a decade Ah been chasin' that guy! What kin Ah do if we can't git married?"

The kunoichi sighed and refilled her water glass again. "To love and win is best-..."

"No kiddin'!"

"But to love and lose is the next best-..."

"Ain't like ya know..."

"More than you might think." Konatsu's voice had grown faint before returning to the louder whisper they had been using. "Come, let me make you some tea and breakfast, then while you finish that, I will gather your things and help you to the baths."

Glancing up, she slowly nodded. "Okay."

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Sipping on her tea, Ukyo tried to finish her morning okonomiyaki, and she had to admit, Konatsu had gotten rather good at making them, even the portions were not bad! "Ya really come along, ya know that?"

"Why thank you, Goshujin-sama! It is an honor to hear you say that! The kitchen is clean, and I will have your things ready in a moment."

"Konatsu-chan?"

Stopping immediately, the kunoichi was immediately by her side. "Yes, Mistress! What do you need?"

"Ah jus' wanted ta thank y'all."

"Yes Ukyo-sama, it is a pleasure! Thank you!" Beaming with pride, Konatsu ran off to finish gathering Ukyo's bathing kit as she finished eating. "Here you go, I will help you to the bathhouse when you are ready, and then come back here and wash the dishes before coming back to get you, so do not worry."

"Ain't ya comin' too?"

"Oh, no, I already had my bath this morning before you regained consciousness."

Ukyo both admired her assistant, and condemned herself for being 'lazy' as she held the proffered arm to keep her balance. "Thank ya."

"Anything for you, Goshujin-sama."

"Oh, but what am Ah gonna do? Not only did Ranchan do that with that woman, but then Ah back outa our date, yellin' an' stuff! ...Prob'ly jus' ran straight home ta that woman's arms!"

"Mistress, you should not beat yourself up-..."

"No? Then who? Who should Ah beat-up? Shampoo? What good has that evah done? It ain't like Ranchan'd evah fergive meh if Ah hurt Tendo-san!"

"You do not have to beat-up anyone. I am certain that you will feel better after a long soak."

"But, Kasumi! It ain't like Ah can't do THAT! That was jus'..."

"Can you not?"

"What'd ya mean?"

"Did we not already make you a costume ...you are a kunoichi, are you not?"

"Well, yeah but... Wait! Ow..." With her free hand, the young chef rubbed her head, hoping the pain would begin to fade, along with the overly bright morning sun.

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"Hey, this ain't a challenge, it's a delivery! Ya still want me ta go to th' back?"

A young man with long hair and white robes came out to meet the delivery man. "No, just give me a moment to open the gate for you. We are not expecting anything though, what is it you have?"

"Huh? Oh, I don't know, we're just th' movers, we didn't pack nuthin'."

"'Movers'? Who's moving?" Mousse was stunned, having no idea what the other man was talking about.

"Well, we got a bunch a' boxes from one Saotome Nodoka, where ya want 'em?"

"Saotome? I suppose, put them up in the guest room, I will show you."

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"What is all this then?" Genma examined the boxes that now mostly filled his usual room.

"It was delivered while you and Tendo-san were off drinking during the day again."

"And why is it in here?"

"Because it belongs to YOUR family, and I will not allow you to clutter the rest of the house."

"My family? What?"

"That is what I would like to know."

Seeing the name on the boxes the older man noticeably flinched. "Urk!" Then after a moment, a light-bulb when on above his head and he started to open one of the boxes.

"What's going on, what's the hubbub?"

"Welcome back, Tendo-san. It seems as though some boxes have arrived for one 'Nodoka Saotome."

"I see..."

"Be careful how you talk about your mother, Boy!"

"WHAT? Look, I agreed to train in your school, but I never agreed to-...!"

"Now, now Son, no need to worry about the details, it is all for Akane, right?"

"Yes, but-..."

As Genma looked through the cartons, looking for something he could sell, he came across something that brought him up short, a medium box, from one of Nodoka's favorite 'adult' shops, the contents of which he knew all too well. Before anyone had noticed, everything had been put back into the shipping containers, and he quickly replaced the tape. "So, Boy, what are you making us for dinner tonight?"

"Wait, what?"

"Boy, it sure will be nice to have another one of your home cooked meals!"

"Thank you?" Mouse and Soun allowed themselves to be shuffled out of the room, and down the stairs with w questioning look on their faces.

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Ukyo had spent what felt like ages recovering and soul searching, trying to decide what she should do. After finally sobering from her bender, she decided to go for a long walk, feeling a bit like Ryoga as she wandered with no destination in mind, paying little attention to her surroundings. She had gone over almost every aspect of her life with a fine-tooth comb, hoping to figure out what she had done wrong, and what she could do to make it right. Unfortunately, while she was able to identify a plethora of things she wished she could do over, she had no idea what she could do to change her future. One of her friends in middle school had once told her of the multiverse hypothesis, and while she did not pay it much attention at the time, she only hoped that in other universes, she had made all of the right choices, and was happy.

She had known that woman was going to be a problem, if only the others had listened to her and helped her with her plans, if only Hinako had not turned against her, both taking Tofu's attention and failing to prevent them from taking Ranma's chastity! Her life was filled with 'if only's, but she was completely devoid of hope, and could not see a path forward, not the way she wanted anyway. No, there was only one thing left she felt she could do!

She looked up to realize that she had walked all the way to Ranma's front gate. "Figures... Ah guess Ah gotta git this o'er with!" She stared at the gate, breathing deeply, and trying to gather her courage. She had been planning her course of action all day, but that did not make it any easier.

"Kuonji-san, there you are. You did not come home last night, Ranma was worried about you."

That was the last person Ukyo had wanted to see. "Tendo-san, yes, Ah had stuff ta do."

"I see, well Ranma and Shampoo-chan are out back, I am going to the store. Have a nice day, Kuonji-san." Bags in hand, Kasumi set off on a stroll toward the shopping district.

Ukyo fumed as she watched her go, wondering if she knew how condescending and frustrating that smile of hers could be. If it were anyone else, she would have been certain that the other woman was rubbing her nose in her failure. She could not help but lament how the happy homemaker exuded femininity while studying her every movement as the other woman walked away from her. "Makes it look so damned easy..."

Once the Kasumi vanished from sight, she finally gathered the courage to open the gate, and walk toward the backyard. As she got closer, uniform shouting could be heard, growing louder with each step. As she rounded the corner, she saw Ranma and Shampoo both leading a small class of young women dressed as maids, only some of whom she recognized from the other day.

Seeing her walking over to them, Ranma smiled and stopped his moving. "Take care a' this fer a few, would ya, Shampoo-chan?"

"Is okay, take time, Airen!" Taking a moment to watch him walk away, she shot a quick glare toward her longtime rival before turning her attention back to the class she was leading.

Ranma ran over to meet Ukyo halfway, waving as he got close. "Hey, Ucchan, what're ya doin' here so early? Ain't ya supposed ta still be at school?"

"Yeah well..." Ukyo looked away, taking deep breaths, and screwing up her courage before turning back toward him. "Look Ranchan, Ah guess Ah give up. When it was Akane-chan, Ah kidded mahse'f that Ah stood a chance, back when Ah thought Ah was th' 'cute' one, but if Kasumi-san's th' one, then Ah know ...there just ain't no way Ah can compete, especially aftah what Ah saw. ...Ah hope we can always be friends too, but Ah ...just cain't do this no more."

"But, Ucchan, I-...!"

"No Ranchan, don't. Ah'll always love ya, but Ah know ya'll never loved me th' same way... Ya seem ta be happy now though, an' clearly, Kasumi-san is who can do that ...not me." Ukyo turned and ran, the sun glinting off of her tears as they flew through the air... "Ah'll be back ta git mah things! At least Shampoo lost too..."

"Stupid Pancake-Girl, Shampoo no is go anywhere."

Ukyo stopped running as those words penetrated her preconceptions. "WHAT? ...Oh nevah mind, screw it, do what'cha want, Ah'm goin' home...!"

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"Ding dong, witch is gone! Which old which? Flat-chest witch! Ding dong, pettanko witch be gone!" Shampoo danced around as she sang in joy, hardly unable to believe that her biggest rival had actually given up on trying to marry her Ranma! "This call for party! Shampoo need make call, get people, drink wine, is too too good day!"

"Shampoo-chan! What is happening?" Being caught-up in the other girl's arms, Kasumi joined her friend dancing around the house.

"Is so happy, too too happy, is happy, too happy, todaaaay!"

"That is nice, being happy is a good thing."

"Yes, is too too nice! We make all Ranma favorite food, yes?"

"Okay, I did just pick up some eel, is it a special occasion?"

"Very! Shampoo go get more foods too, is too too good day!"

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"Your costume is important, but you also need to master the right skills, you have been practicing the voice, and now you need to master the Sexy Kitten Walk no Jutsu, so follow what I do, and watch my every move."

Ukyo did not like that she needed to learn how to be feminine from a boy, but she did not know who else she could ask at this point, and she knew so few people who had mastered the art of seduction. Even Ranma had almost fallen for his charms once, so certainly they could help her now!

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OMAKE 16

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Ukyo ran straight into her shop, barely pausing as as she yelled out. "KONATSU-CHAN! Ah need ya!"

Seemingly appearing out of nowhere, the kunoichi kneeled before her. "Anything, Mistress. What can this humble servant do for you?"

"Ah need ya ta dress us up as cute as possible!"

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Ranma entered the restaurant, and seeing that it was empty, he called out to see if anyone was home. "Oi! Ya here?"

"RANCHAN!" Jumping from the top, Ukyo landed in front of him wearing a very skimpy version of her miko outfit. "Ya came!" Grabbing his hand, she pulled him back up the stairs.

"Whoa!" Following her to her room, Ranma saw someone else wearing a long ninja gi top, with no sleeves nor pants, and a long, black ponytail.

"Ah did it too, jus' like Shampoo! Ya want ta see meh kissin' a cutie, an' havin' a three-way, Ah kin do that too!"

"Huh?" Ranma watched as she ran over, and hesitantly started kissing Konatsu on the lips. If someone had asked, he would have been hard-pressed to answer who he thought looked more feminine. Even knowing the cute kunoichi was male, Ranma could not help but stir as he watched them kissing. There was just something about the way Konatsu acted, being far more effeminate than many of the women in his life, that occasionally made him question himself.

"Come on Ranchan, join us, an' we'll both take care a' ya! Ain't that right, Konatsu?"

"As you wish, Mistress! Come, Ranma-sama, we will make you feel really good..."

"Urk...!"

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OMAKE 17

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Riding atop Ranma, the young woman was proud of herself for being able to last much longer again this time. "Is SO good when trust Shampoo, yes?" Seeing him nod, she smiled. "Then keep thrust Shampoo!"

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Laying next to them, the Chinese warrior whispered into Ranma's ear as he slept. "Trust Shampoo, thrust Shampoo. Trust Shampoo, thrust Shampoo. Trust Shampoo, thrust Shampoo." Repeating into the night.

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Seeing Ranma standing in the hallway, Shampoo suppressed her ki and slinked up behind him, sliding her arms around his chest, and whispering into his ear. "Trust Shampoo, yes?"

His groin suddenly reacted without consent, and threatened to burst within his pants. "Hai..."

"Is too too good, yes?" Sliding around in front of his, she untied the string on his pants, and started licking. "Mmmmmmm, Ranma like, yes?" As he nodded she took him into her mouth, doing everything she could to finish him off.

"Aiyaaaa! Shampoo is cover again!" Looking up into his glazed eyes, blinked innocently before licking her face clean. "Find new move in one Mother's book want try, look fun to Shampoo. Need Ranma help. Trust Shampoo, yes?"

Ranma could not help but nod as his member jumped to attention...

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NOTES

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Pettanko - is a term that means "flat chest", for those of you not into TVTropes, or other such things.

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Poor Ukyo, ruining her own chances by overreacting. How will this affect the next chapter? Tune in next time for, 'In Every Life We Have Some Trouble', or 'When You Worry, You Make It Double' to find out! Don't worry, the next chapter will be out soon!


	49. Chapter 49

Warning: Studies show that reading this while driving is very dangerous and is not recommended!

Chapter 49 - Everyone's Makin' Whoopee

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Ranma felt weird taking a meeting with Nabiki, but for once he did not feel like she was a shark and he was fresh chum. She still talked down to him in a lot of ways, but she really seemed to care about what he wanted and how she could help him achieve it. He was not sure if it was her new living arrangements, the fact that he started this business without her, or if Kasumi had something to do with it, but it was nice to feel like she was on his side and not trying to milk him for everything he had for a change.

True to her word, she had taken care of all of the business licenses and had been sending new women to him for training, some of whom even had a modicum of skill to start with, so they did not need to begin the with basics, while most of them were competent as housekeepers as well, so they primarily only needed to work on their speed, stamina, and accuracy. It would still be years before they would be capable of cleaning an apartment in even close to the time that Ranma could, but as Nabiki said, even if they were each only cleaning one apartment a day, that was still more money for them, and helps to spread their name. He had never really understood 'any of that business stuff', but she had been explaining it to him in simple terms, and even used examples that made senses to him, making it easier to follow. It was strange to have her be so nice to him, but he certainly liked having her treating him more like an equal than a 'mark'.

He might have made it home sooner, but Ryu had been there as well and he had gotten to spar with him again in the dojo they had built collectively. It was good to see him happy as well, and they had been able to have a good work-out together. He had gotten a good bit stronger, Ranma could tell the other boy had been working hard, but he still managed to beat him pretty easily in the end. Ranma was happy to see his new friend developing his own style and no longer relying on his father's techniques, but he clearly still had a ways to go before they were ready. He could not wait to see the techniques once the guy had them perfected.

The music coming from over the wall surprised him almost as much as the scents that soon followed, and he followed his nose, almost floating toward the front door. Before he was able to get to the door, it burst open and a purple rocket bowled him over, landing on top of him, and smothering him in kisses. "Airen is home! Shampoo SO happy!"

After the initial surprise wore off, Ranma melted into the embrace, wrapping his arms around her as he got to his feet. "Hey, Shampoo-chan! What's up?"

"Is too too happy day, is time for fun making! Ranma come to eating room, is waiting."

"Huh? Okay, it smells great!" He allowed himself to be led into the house.

"Aiyaa! We make many thing Husband like, for make too too happy!"

"What's goin' on? It ain't my birthday 'er nuthin'."

"Is still special day for Airen. Hope no is sad, but promise, do anything cheer up Ranma." The young warrior leaned closer to kiss him, still unused to him returning the token of affection. She squealed in delight while dancing back and forth on her feet. "Wo ai ni!"

"Yeah, back at ya." He lightly slapped her on the back in an affectionate comradery.

While certainly not the reaction she had hoped for, the warrior woman was not one to disparage any improvement in their relationship. "Aiyaaa... So happy! Come! Shampoo make happy after ever!" Upon opening the door, he saw that a number of people were waiting for him and cheering his arrival.

"Congratulations, Son-in-law, we will be expecting great things from you!"

"Huh? Yeah, well, that is what I do, ya know?" As soon as he saw they were no longer alone, Ranma shied away from Shampoo, feeling a bit guilty about being affectionate with her around the others, especially Kasumi.

"Is true, is too too good!" Feeling him start to inch away, she grabbed his arm and puled him close again.

Kasumi blushed as memories came flooding back. "Oh my, I cannot argue with that..."

"Oh, I am SO proud of you, my 'manly' son!"

Only Genma and Soun were less than thrilled at his arrival. "How could ya, boy?"

Ranma's move fell as soon as he noticed his father. "What're ya doing here, Pops?"

"How rude! We were invited!"

"Kasumi-onee-chan invite father, no invite stupid Panda-man!"

"Hey!" Genma started to get up before he found a chui millimeters from his nose.

"No make Airen mad, or Shampoo make panda rug!"

Sound turned from the excitement and back toward his eldest daughter. "I am glad to see you are doing well, Kasumi-chan!"

"Thank you, Father. I am doing 'very' well."

"So, when are you going to come home?"

"Oh my, I AM home, Father!" She had still not entirely forgiven him for 'replacing' her, even if she was not willing to make a scene.

"But-!"

"...Though I have been thinking about visiting you." Seeing his tears dry and a smile return to his lips, she tried to get more information out of him, not entirely certain as to what she thought about their living arrangements. "So how are things at 'your' home these days?"

There was a twinge of sadness at her reminder, but his tears did not resume. "They are not bad now, your sister has brought home a boy who takes care of everything. Now if only you and your other sister would settle down, then I could be at peace when I join your mother."

"Oh Father, there is no need to be so dramatic."

"Is true, both sister have boy what like!"

"WHAT?"

"Oh my..." Kasumi blushed, not willing to admit what the younger girl could so easily.

"Is that true?" Her father turned to face her, the tears threatening to burst forth.

"Well, I mean, it is just that, you know... What was that? Someone at the door, I will get it!" In a graceful motion, Kasumi got to her feet, and fled the room.

Nodoka watched her go with a knowing eye and a grin.

Within moments, her voice reached the back room, somewhat louder than one would normally expect. "Oh my, Nabiki-chan and Ryu-kun, so nice of you to make it! Please, come inside, everyone is waiting! Shall we introduce your boyfriend to Father?"

"WHA-? Fa-? Thanks for that!" Nabiki's voice was clearly less than thrilled.

"Oh dear, did you not want anyone to know? I guess we will have to keep it a secret then..." Her innocent tone cast serious doubt on anyone thinking she had done it as a distraction from her own situation.

"Yeah, right, like that's possible now!" Nabiki eyed her older sister as they followed her to where the rest of the guests were gathered, wondering what had caused her sister to sell her out like that. It was rare for her sister to throw anyone under the proverbial bus, but she had seen it enough times in her life to know the signs.

She was accosted the moment hey entered the room, but to her chagrin. "Nabiki-chan! Is this your iinazuke?"

"NO! We are just dating, Daddy! Jeeze!"

"Oh dear, but do you not live together as well?" Nodoka did her best to look innocent, but she had heard some stories about how the teen had treated her son, and could not help but to twist the knife.

"WHAT? You DO? We need to start planning the wedding, when should we have it?"

"But Daddy! Nee-chan's been livin' with Ranma-kun for a long time now!"

Genma let out a low whistle.

"That is different!"

"What? How?"

"Because, it's ...Kasumi-chan!"

"DADDY!" Few people in the room would meet Nabiki's hard gaze.

"Kasumi would never do anything ...improper!"

"Oh my!" Kasumi hide her face as her blush threatened to brighten the room.

"And you think I would?" The silence was deafening and she was almost knocked back by the stares she received. "Hey!" Several people turned away, whistling softly to themselves.

"So, do 'you' have any adults living with you as a chaperone as well then?" Their father took one of his rare stern tones, looking down at his daughter, making her feel as though she were a child again.

"Well, almost..."

"Then I will hear no more arguing! Unless you would like to move back home with us?"

"NO!"

"Then I expect that you will be setting a date soon."

"DADDY!"

Nabiki shivered as Ryu pressed his chest against her back, and whispered into her ear. "We can just play along, we don't have to do anything we don't want. Not that I would mind, if you want to do it for real."

Nabiki's eyes shot open, unable to believe what she had just heard. "You mean it?"

Keeping his voice at a whisper, he nodded. "Why not? You are already in a university, with any luck I will be able to open my school soon, and once you get a bit further with Ranma's business, we will have another regular source of income without the 'side jobs'."

"Well, that's true, but-..."

"Don't worry, I will make certain you get through college, even if I have to do 'that' again to pay for it. You don't have to worry about anything!"

"Aw, Ryu-chi!" As she threw her arms around the taller boy's neck, the room erupted in cheers and calls for a toast, particularly from the fathers!

Kasumi happily poured sake for anyone over the age of majority, and tea for everyone else, glad to not have the focus on herself.

"Hey, that old pervert ain't comin', right?"

"No Boy, some guy showed up and they went off on their own to have a nice long talk, something about a name change. We were far to busy to helping to plan this party to find out the details, yes, that was it."

"So, ya chickened out, an' ran away?" Ranma crossed his arms, staring at his father, not willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Not at all! We had ...important things to do, to help get ready!"

"Oh, an' what was it ya did ta help, huh?"

"We, had, to ...um, bring the sake!"

"Great-Grandmother bring!"

"Um, we had to uh..."

"Don't bother, I didn't expect-..."

"We brought the napkins!"

"Those're OUR napkins! What're ya really doin' here? It's just th' food, right?"

"That's not true! We don't need you for that! In fact, we have replaced both of you with one guy! I don't need you any more, you are useless to me!"

Ranma's aura flared to life as he took a slow step forward. "Then why don't ya-..."

"Now, now, this is your party Son, let your mother handle the trash while you play with your girlfriends." Nodoka stepped in front of Ranma and Shampoo, not allowing them to get closer, and surprising them both. "What was that you were saying about my son being 'useless', my dear husband?"

"Urk!" Genma backed up, looking for cold water.

"Shall we take this into the other room?"

"No, that's ok-..." Grabbing him by the ear, Nodoka led her protesting husband out into the hallway, and quickly out of earshot.

"Aiyaaa... Is sure mother family no is from Nujie Zu?"

"Huh? I got no idea, you know 'bout as much as I do. Come ta think a' it, wouldn't ya know 'better' 'an me?"

"Is hard say, warrior sometime leave village be with airen."

"I figured most a ya'd take yer husbands back ta th' village."

"Is better for village if do, but no is rule. Most important is make many strong baby."

"No, Son-in-law, you will not be 'required' to return, but I will not be here to train you much longer. I have been gone far too long already for this, but I am sure that it will have been worth the effort. Living with us does come with ...'other' benefits as well though, so you may want to consider it."

"Ya do, do ya?" While he was glad not to have the conniving old woman watching him all of the time, losing one of the main people who trained him these days made him a bit glum.

"Oh yes, I am all but certain." Glancing around the room, she noticed that Shampoo was not the only one who's aura had the tell-tail signs she had been wanting to confirm. "I have a very good feeling about the future." With a cackle, she hopped over to refill her cup. "You too, Kasumi Tendo?"

"What about me?"

"Oh nothing, I am certain you will find out soon enough."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"You seem to have the Sexy Kitten Walk no Jutsu down pat, so now we will teach you the most important skill in order to be a successful cross-dressing kunoichi, the Kyonyuu no Jutsu. For this application, you will not want to use it to it's fullest, but a bit will help with what you desire."

Ukyo grumbled about needing to learn a skill used by men posing as women to be more feminine, but if she wanted to succeed in her task, she needed to be able to 'adjust' her figure. The secret art of appearing to have a larger chest, a ninja trick she wished she had learned a long time ago, apparently the art of 'hiding' her breasts was not effective in helping her get Ranma to fall for her. It might be too late for that, but she could still try one last thing...

"Ukyo-sama! You need to pay attention, we do not have much time."

"Hai!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"So Wife, are you going to tell us why so many of your things have arrived at the Tendo place?"

"Is it not obvious? I will be moving in with you soon."

"WHAT?" Genma almost fell over backwards as he tried to back away from the calm looking woman.

"Of course 'Dear'. They are going to be needed this house to themselves very soon, and it is not as if I will be able to return to my old place again now."

"Why not?"

"Are you so eager to be rid of me?" Her voice took on a deadly tone, and Genma shuddered in response.

"Well, I-..."

"Ten years apart was not enough for you?"

"It is just that it is not 'my' home..." The ever shrinking man felt smaller with each accusation.

"Then why do YOU live there?"

"Well, you see... we are uniting the families-..."

"Am 'I' not part of the family?"

"Yes, but-..."

"And how exactly are you planning on 'uniting the families' at this point?"

"Oh, I adopted that Chinese boy, Mousse will be my heir!"

"WHAT? WAS? THAT? YOU? SAID? Is OUR son not good enough for you for SOME reason?" Genma could see her aura grow along with her voice.

"No! It's just that I need-..."

"This is not about what YOU need!"

"Yes, but-...!"

"Oh? So that where you want to go with this, is it?" The dangerous gleam in her eye gave Genma a flashback to a traumatic time in his life.

Genma's face went completely pale, and started shaking his head while waving his hands in front of his face. "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Ranma-kun?"

"Yeah, Mom?"

"I will be taking your father and Tendo-san home this evening. Will you be okay without me for the night?"

"AIYAAA...! Is perfect way to end party!" Shampoo tossed back another cup, having grabbed her own bottle of sake.

"Yeah, it's fine, but will ya be okay there by yerself?"

"Oh yes, it will be ...no problem, no problem at all." The glint in her eye made Genma almost faint, as it was, he managed to at least refill his sake cup several more times before his eyes rolled back into his head.

Nodoka turned to her husband's friend with a polite smile. "I do hope that is not too much of an imposition, Tendo-san."

"Oh, oh no, Saotome-kun's beautiful wife is always welcome in my humble home."

"Oh dear, you flatter this old woman." Nodoka covered her face with a fan to hide her light blush, almost as much from the sake as the complement.

"Not at all, in some ways, you even remind me of my own dearly departed wife."

Genma wasted no time in sharply whispering into his old training partner's ear. "You better be careful Tendo-kun, flirting with my wife is not a good idea."

"What? I would never! I meant no such thing!"

"That's not what-... Just head my warning old friend, for your own good."

"Now, gather your things, we are leaving! Not the wine, that stays here!"

"Aiyaaa... Is will be fun night! Onee-chan is ready for too too good fun, yes?"

Nabiki stared at the reactions between the two, wondering what she was seeing. "What, wait, you mean ...Kasumi-nee, you too?"

"Oh my!"

"So, that's why you...?" Nabiki's voice trailed off as she connected a few dots in her mind. "But, Nee-chan, how can you do that, isn't it 'naughty'?"

"Oh my, yes, but that is what makes it so much fun!" Kasumi blushed as her thoughts drifted to their nighttime ...entertainment, for the last couple of days.

"It is, isn't it?" The two sisters grinned, and locked hands together, squealing in unison.

"Rest go home, if want stay, no one use Pancake-Girl room no more, so is open." Shampoo wrapped her arms around Ranma's shoulders from behind, nuzzling at the nape of his neck.

Nabiki's eyes went wide, seeing the new dynamic in person was more surprising than she expected. It was not near as funny to her without Ranma freaking out over the affection, though she had to admit, there was still an element of curiosity for her. "Oh, why not... What do you think, Ryu-kun?"

"Whatever you want to do, 'Biki."

Quickly turning on her date, she gave him a hard look. "I told you not to call me that in public!"

After recoiling from the look of death, Ryu tried to stand up for himself. "This isn't 'in public', we are at your sister's place!"

"Actually, it belongs to Ranma, I only live here."

"Kasumi! I thought ya said ya were gonna get it changed back over ta yer name!"

"Oooopsie!" She winked and stuck her tongue out, looking much like one of Shampoo's poses. "I guess I 'forgot'. We have just been so busy, you know?"

"Yeah, right."

"Is okay, no need worry, everything worky out fine! Trust Shampoo, be okay, Airen see."

Kasumi also threw her arms around him from the front before kissing him on the cheep. "Oh yes, I am sure that everything will turn out for the best, just like with you Nabiki-chan, and your boyfriend!"

Nabiki jumped back, not wanting to get involved in the little squabble. "Hey! Don't bring me into this! I didn't do anything!"

"No? Should try, is nice, feel too too good!" Shampoo places a few pecks down the nape of his neck.

"I know, I didn't mean that!" Nabiki blushed as she was forced to admit to having sex in front of her older sister.

"Shampoo think as much. No need try hide."

"Well, I was not trying to 'hide' it, or anything, not really." Nabiki blushed and turned away.

"Sure 'Biki', sure." Ranma chuckled, enjoying watching her squirm for a change.

"Hey, I may take that from Ryu-chi, but not from you, Saotome-kun!"

"That's okay, not the top of my list of 'biki' anyway." Ranma squeezed the two 'beautiful women' in his arms to show them to whom he was referring.

"Hey!" She did not like being referred to as a 'price reduction', but being told that other women were more beautiful than her to her face, no matter how much she knew it was true, did not feel good either.

"Well, that's okay, 'I' think you are the greatest 'biki' of all." Ryu smiled down at the shorter young woman.

"That's nice, but I am still never going to forgive you for this!"

"Aw, but 'Biki-chan!" Ryu's hands moved faster than Nabiki could see ...and started tickling her. "I am just SO sorry."

The rest of the people in the room were shocked to learn that Nabiki was, in fact, ticklish, and at least one of them tried to note 'where', as their jaws collectively dropped. Ranma could not believe what he was seeing, while Kasumi smiled pleasantly as she discovered a new way to handle her sister, and lamented how life might have been different if only she had known this while they were younger. As for Nabiki, she was finding it difficult to breathe in-between her chortles, and had resorted to pounding on Ryu's chest as hard as she could. "Stop! Okay! I give! Please?"

"I'll make you really forgive me later." Wrapping his arms around her waist from behind, Ryu kissed the back of her neck.

"It won't be easy if you keep this up."

"Oh, you know how long I can do that!"

"Should I show you to your room, Nabiki-chan, or would you like to get a bath first?"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Every muscle in Gosunkugi's body hurt, but he had gotten so many good pictures that night, not only of his love, Akane Tendo, but also of his new most hated enemy, the Chinaman Mousse, making it worth the hours he had spent perched in this tree behind their house. He had noted that the house had been otherwise strangely quiet that evening, that was until he saw Akane and Ranma's fathers returning with a beautiful woman he did not recognize. Without thinking, he snapped a number of photographs of her trying to zoom in as closely as he was able.

From his angle, he had lost sight of them until they had moved to the family room and started drinking. For some reason he was unable to tear his eyes away from them, and quickly forgot about the couple in the upper room. He could not believe how quickly things turned.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Madam, what do you think you are doing?" Soun was shocked by how forward his guest was being.

"Nothing yet. What, do you think I should?"

"No, I mean, 'why did you kiss me'?"

"My husband will not, and your wife cannot. We should all work together and get what we all need. Why can we not simply 'get along'?"

"But, you are married to my best friend!"

"Who better to fill in for the lug then?"

"But-...!"

"Exactly! My husband might not be much of a man, though perhaps if you both work together, you might be able to add up to one."

"Saotome-kun! Say something, would you?"

"Arooo?" Genma held up a panda mask, trying to hide his face.

"What are you doing? Do you not care about this at all?"

Still holding up his mask, he held up a sign in his other hand, which read, 'Better you than me!'

"Oh no Husband, you will NOT be getting out of your duties either! It has been FAR too long already! Now, come to the changing room, we will get you both cleaned and ready."

"What?"

"After all of that drinking, you both stink, and I will not have it. Now to the bath, both of you!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Genma, husband, where is your ring?" Nodoka stood over a naked Genma as he prostrated himself on the changing room floor.

"Urk!"

"Are you going to tell me that you have not been wearing it?"

"Well, you see-..."

"Yes, yes I do. It is a good thing I have spares in the boxes I sent."

"Spares? Of your wedding ring?"

"Oh no, we did not have a western ceremony, we did not have a 'wedding ring' per say, this was a slightly different ring. Is it not, Husband?"

"Yes, well, that is to say-..."

"You deserve to be punished!"

"But-...!"

"Yes, exactly."

"URK!"

"Finish washing each other and I will be right back."

Both men chimed-in in unison, with little in the way of hesitation. "Yes, ma'am!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Nodoka returned to the furo wearing a leather harness and strap-on, with a whip in her right hand, and two shiny rings in her left. With a crack of the whip in the air, she tossed one of the rings on the floor in front of her husband. "There you are. Are you going to put it on, or do you need me to do it for you?"

"NO! I, I can do it!" Genma briefly fumbled with it before inserting it into the piercing on his right nipple.

"Saotome-kun?"

"It's part of our contract." He answered flatly, never looking up from the floor.

"Contract? You mean the one with Ranma-kun being a man-among-men?"

Nodoka laughed. "No, this is a much older one. It is a part of our 'marriage' contract, is it not ...Husband?"

"YES!"

"Much better. It seems you have been away far too long and your training has suffered, now that my son is in good hands, I plan to ...rectify that oversight. I do hope that you are prepared to make up for lost time."

"ACK!"

"Now Tendo-san, you have a choice to make. I also brought a ring for you, if you choose to accept it."

Genma turned his head to the side, his voice a panicked whisper. "Run while you can!"

"You mean, you want to 'pierce' my-...?" Soun's voice had a hint of distress to it, but he did not flinch.

"No, for you..." She glanced down toward his lap. "It will serve a different purpose. Just slide this over the top and down to the base, and it will help you ...last."

"Now listen here!"

Nodoka cracked her whip. "So, would you like to 'sign' my contract or not? It looks as though you are already about to burst just looking at me."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"How does it feel, to have your wife in your ass, while your best friend drills me from behind? Do you like that Husband?"

"Ungh!" Genma felt ready to collapse, having lost all will to fight hours ago.

"What was that?" Nodoka pulled back on his leash while smacking his rump.

"I said 'Yes, it feels 'good' mistress'!"

"That is what I thought you said, but I do not think I can understand the little doggy who does not bark."

"Wan! Wan!" Genma did his best impression of a puppy.

"That is a good doggy, for your reward, would you prefer my hand on your teeny, tiny, little man, or your friend's?"

"URK!"

"No, I think-..." Soun had lost himself, having his first experience in so long, and never having much of a backbone anyway, he willing to do almost anything to make it continue, but that was where he drew the line! ...Maybe.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

After the 'work-out' Kasumi and Shampoo had given him, Ranma felt rather dehydrated, and he did his best not to wake them as he climbed out of Kasumi's large bed. As thirsty as he was, he still needed to make a quick stop at the restroom, the call of nature being even stronger than his thirst. By the time he had arrived at the kitchen, he felt a presence waiting for him, though upon opening the door, he did not find what he expected.

"Ranma-kun! There you are!"

"Yeah, uh, Kasumi?"

"Oh my, oh my, oh my! Did you not recognize me, Ranma-kun?"

"Guess I'm a bit tired, ya know?"

"Well, you have been working hard lately."

"Yer a way harder worker."

"Urk!" She let out a quiet gasp under her breath. "No, I do not do all that much."

"Nah, ya work harder 'an anyone I know, an' have ferever! Who else'd give up their dreams ta take care a' everyone else?"

"Oh my, oh my, oh my..."

"Even now, ya should be sleepin', but here ya are. What're ya doin', makin' breakfast er somethin'?"

"Actually, I came to ask you a favor."

"Oh yeah? What'd ya need?"

"I need a little 'private' time with ya, don't you know?"

Ranma just stared at her with a confused expression on his face.

"How about we go somewhere to be alone, and I can explain it to you." Moving closer to him, she tapped his shoulder with each word. "In, great, detail."

"Uh, 'kay, but-...?"

Not waiting for him to change his mind, she grabbed his hand, and ran toward the back of the house, looking for the first empty bedroom she could find. She was a bit shocked to find someone in the first room she checked, but no one was in Ranma's room, and she quickly pulled him inside. "Ranma-kun, I cannot sleep. Would you help ...wear me out?"

Ranma raised an eyebrow, but silently nodded as he was led into his futon. He was a bit surprised by how forward she was being as she removed his clothing and rubbing against him. She continued to fondle him as she planted kisses from his belly, to his bare chest, ending at his mouth. Their tongues intertwined, their breathing grew heavy, hands roamed, and they rocked back and forth on the floor.

"Ara, ara, ara." She stopped him from unbuttoning her dress, and quickly guided his face below her skirt. Seeing no reason to refuse, Ranma obliged the request, utilizing all of the skills he had picked up recently. Her breathing increased, turning into panting as she gasped for air and moaned to the heavens. "Can't wait! Do it now!"

"But, I ain't got one a' them, ya know-...?"

"Don't worry, just hurry!"

"I thought ya said it'd be bad ta do it like that again tanight?"

"Oh my, it's okay, I, uh, took care of it, yeah, no problem."

"Really? Well, okay then, if ya say so." Ranma positioned himself over her as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer and stealing his lips away. As he felt the familiar tearing and heard her gasp in pain, he hesitated in concern for his partner. "Um, hey, are ya, okay?"

"Yeah, I'm ...fine. Don't stop now!" She wrapped her legs around his waist, and gritted her teeth as she forced him further inside.

While she was squeezing him with everything she had, there was no question that she was slick enough for him to move without trouble, so he did as he had been instructed, teasing her most sensitive areas as she relaxed. His hips started to act of their own accord, thrusting slowly at first, speeding up as her gasps of pain turned to pleasure, and before long he had to resume kissing her to keep her cries of passion from waking the others.

He had lost count of the number of times he felt her climaxing by the time he had, but she had become a gibbering mess, barely able to move, and he decided to stop before she completely passed out on him. "Ya okay fer th' moment? Ya look pretty tired now."

"Yeah, Ah can't move..."

"Looks that way. How 'bout I go get ya some tea?"

"Water, water's jus' fine."

Ranma nodded and ran off to get her a drink, but by the time he returned, she had apparently recovered, having straightened her hair and clothing, and was once again standing on uncertain legs. "Here ya go."

"Tha- Thank you, Ranma-kun!"

"Hey, it's no problem. Ya need anything else?"

After guzzling down the water, she perked-up, but turned her head away. "No, no, I think I will be going off to bed now!"

"Really, yer not sleepin' here, like usual?"

"No, um, oh my, I have a few things I need to do first! See ya in the morning, Ranma-kun!"

"Okay, well, I hope ya sleep well."

"Yeah, you too."

Watching her flee into the hallway, he waved at her with a knowing smile. "Night, Ucchan."

As her steps turned into a run, her mind latched onto his words as she registered that he had manage to realize that it was her! "Ara, ara, ara!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Welcome back, Ukyo-sama! May I do anything for you at this time?"

She started to strip off her costume as she crossed the dining room, heading toward the back. "Nah, Ah jus' want ta go ta th' baths. Ah'm all sticky!"

"I see, I will gather your things. Just a moment!" The kunoichi vanished and returned in a flash, bag in hand. "So, mistress, how did it go?"

"Oh man! It hurt like hell at first, but then... WOW! Ya really oughta try it some time!"

"Oh my!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ranma awoke, still in his own bed, and much to his surprise, much later than usual, and alone for the first time he could remember in some time. He both appreciated the solitude and missed the softness of his usual morning companions. After a few moments of enjoying the coolness of not being buried in flesh, he got up to see if anyone else was awake. Not seeing any initial activity, he decided it would be a good idea to make breakfast for everyone. He started a pot of coffee for Nabiki before setting about making the morning rice, hoping to allow the rest of the house to sleep in a bit longer.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi's eyes fluttered open and she saw Ranma's face looking back at her. "Oh my, good morning Anata."

It only took her a moment, and a bit of eye rubbing to realize that the reason that he did not respond was that it was not actually Ranma, but a life-sized body pillow with his image on it! "Oh my!"

Sitting up, she realized that she was still in her bed, along with Shampoo, who was also hugging the Ranma-pillow and looking to be having a lovely dream. Shaking her head of the last remnants of sleep, she tried to remember as much as she could about the prior evening, but the last thing she remembered was falling asleep in his protective arms. "Ranma? Is that you?"

The lack of response was not unexpected, but considering everything else she had experience over the last year and a half, very little would have been completely unbelievable to her any longer. She poked it several times with her finger, trying to figure out if he had some how turned into the pillow or if he had been replaced by it, and if that were the case, who did the replacing? Did Ranma make it himself, or was he kidnapped?

It certainly was well made, and it did look just like him! She could tell that whoever made it, had done so with great care, and their feelings reached her. On top of finally sensing him nearby, she knew that whomever made this body pillow could not have hurt Ranma, and her worries quickly evaporated. If he was safe, then there was only one thing left to decide, and that was where she was going to keep her present!

"Kawaii!" She threw her arms around it, burying her face in its chest as she squeezed it tightly and squealed for joy. In her excitement, Kasumi did not hear the door open, though it was hard to miss the voice that followed.

"Kasumi? Shampoo-chan? What's that an' what're ya doin' ta it?"

"Oh my! I-, I do not exactly know... did you not make it?"

"No, I thought ya did!"

"No, I just woke-up and it was here with us ...where you were 'supposed' to be! You naughty boy." Her stern expression did not match the silly tone in her voice. "Where were you, anyway?"

Well I got up ta get somethin' ta drink, an' decided ta make breakfast, so ya didn't have ta."

"You DID?"

"Yeah, if ya want ta get rid a' that thing, I can serve ya."

"WHAT?" Kasumi could not believe what she was hearing.

"Aiyaaaa... Shampoo think maybe drink too too much..." As the young woman started to stir, she held her head.

"Oh my, are you all right, Shampoo-chan?"

"Head hurt. Why is so loud, is okay?"

"Ranma made us breakfast in bed!"

"Aiyaa... last obstacle gone, now Shampoo perfect husband live happy after ever! ...Ow."

"Oh my, but-..."

"No, just sit there, yer supposed ta just relax an' eat."

"But, what about the others?"

"Don't worry, I left a tray a food, an' a pot a coffee fer Nabiki and Ryu on my way here."

"Oh? My you are a perfect husband!"

"Why Kasumi-nee-chan speak into bullhorn?"

"It ain't that loud."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"I am home!"

"Hey Mom."

"Hello Son! I hope you had a fun evening!"

"Yeah, I guess so. Why?"

"Did you enjoy your time with both of those lovely young ladies?"

"Three a' them, I guess..."

"That is my manly son!"

Ranma did not think that sounded correct, but he did not want to argue about it, so he tried to change the subject. "Ya said ya were gonna move inta th' Tendos' place?"

"Yes, likely very soon."

"Why?"

"Well, you no longer need your old mother around. You can just call me once you need me to watch my grandchildren!"

"What? No, I mean, 'why there'?"

"Well, that IS where your father is."

"Yes, but, wouldn't it be better ta take that bastard ta yer home?"

"Well, you see, I cannot do that any longer."

"Well, I don't blame ya fer not wantin' that guy in yer house, but..."

"No, you see, well, I no longer 'own' a house."

"What?"

"I sold it!"

"Why?"

"It was the only way I could think of to pay for the damages your girlfriends did to your neighbor's house."

"Why th' hell'd ya do that? I could a' got th-...!"

"No! You should not have to worry about that, it was not your fault! Besides, it would have taken you forever to pay that off with what you are making now, and they should not have to wait that long."

"But, your house!"

"It is okay, call it an early wedding gift."

"But-...!"

"Now, now, what is done, is done. There is no need for you to worry about it now. I will have the money for you in a few days, and then you can take care of that mess once and for all. You do not want to be on bad terms with your neighbors."

"But-..."

"Let your mother do this, I have not been able to be there for you most of your life, so now that I can do something for you, you should just accept it."

"I guess, but I don't got ta like it."

"I am your mother, and I say you do. Now, give me a manly smile. There you go!"

"Well, if ya find ya can't take it there, we'll keep yer room fer ya."

"Oh don't worry, I do not think there will be any problems..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

It was a beautiful afternoon, and Kasumi was humming to herself as she prepared a nice meal for two. Nodoka was spending another night at her family's house, Hinako told her that she would be out late and not to wait for her, and Shampoo needed to do some training with her grandmother, who had mentioned something about being lax. So now, as soon as Ranma got home from his meeting, they would be having dinner together, alone, for the first time since their last date, and she would be cooking for only him, for the first time in a very long time. She tried to include as many of his favorite dishes as she could manage, along with a number that Nodoka had recommended as well, hoping that he would be as happy as she felt at that moment.

It was not as if she had anything against any of those other people, she loved them dearly, but things could be particularly hectic upon occasion, and she was simply looking forward to a quiet evening, a rarity in her life these days. For a brief moment she imagined where such an evening could lead, but quickly shook her head to bring her back to the present with a blush. She still had a few things left to prepare before she was done, but she had enough time before she needed to start that she decided to set the table in the mean time.

"Yeah, I saw th' last one leave a little while ago."

"Ranma! Is that you? You are home early!"

"The last one, huh?"

"Well, I thought-..."

Kasumi heard a thud as she rounded the corner and came face to face with several rough looking men. "Oh my, you are not Ranma!" Her recent training kicked in and she began stepping back into a defensive stance before she saw them pulling out weapons and she remembered what Ranma had told her. She instinctively infused her voice with a bit of ki and shouted as loud as she could, "Saotome Final Attack!" As she expected, the men tensed up defensively, waiting to see what she might do, and she followed through with the move. "RUN AWAY!" She fled through the back of the house, looking for a place to hide.

"One of you go after that woman, the rest of us will search the house! You, start in the attic, I am going to see what smells so good!"

Kasumi hesitated for a second as she worried for Ranma's dinner, but knew he would be more upset with her if she went back for it at such a time. As she ran into her room in a panic, she stumbled over a plushie which had fallen off of her shelf when she slammed the door behind her. The poor stuffed oni flew across the room, bumping into one of the paintings on the wall, causing it to tilt to the side and bumping a decorative katana. Instead of falling, the sword twisted to the side, and in response, her bookshelves slid open, revealing a set of stairs behind it, with a secret room at the bottom. "Oh my! Akun, you must be my lucky charm! Thank you again, Ranma!"

Grabbing the toy Ranma had given her, she ran down the stairs, barely even realizing that she had pressed a button marked 'lock' which closed the 'doors' behind her. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, she entered a rather high-tech room, filled with monitors displaying every room in their house! "No wonder our power bill is always so high!"

One of the screens showed the leader eating some of the food she had made for Ranma and she bristled, before she saw that they each had a volume knob, and she turned that one up as one of the others entered the room.

"...panic room, I can't get it open."

"Well of course, it was designed not to open from the outside, if it was locked from within! No matter, that woman is not important, what matters is that you find Akane!"

"Yes, Sir!"

Kasumi was confused, she did not think that her sister was here, but if she was in danger, then she needed to do something! She looked over all of the monitors, looking to see if Akane was paying her a surprise visit, and not seeing her, she relaxed a bit. The next thing she noticed was the phone on the wall behind her, and since they were no longer looking for her, she immediately called her family's house.

"Hello?"

"Oh, Akane-chan, you ARE home!"

"Oh course! Where else would I be?"

"Well, some strange people came here looking for you, so I was worried."

"What did you tell them?"

"I did not say anything, I did not know they were looking for you at the time."

"Oh, well ...wait, what?"

"Well, you see, I overheard what they were saying, but I was not talking to them directly..."

"Well, don't worry about me, I'm a martial artist too!"

"That is why I am worried. Just stay safe, I will let you know if I learn anything else-... Wait, there is Ranma! I am sure everything will be fine now."

"What? What's going on?"

"I will talk to you later, okay Akane-chan?" Before waiting for an answer, she returned the phone receiver to its base, and turned her full attention to the monitor where she saw Ranma talking to one of the men, so she turned up the volume on that screen.

"I don't really care what yer doin' here, but ya got five seconds ta tell me what ya did with Kasumi, before ya regret it."

"What? Who's that?"

"The pretty girl who was here when ya broke in! Yer down ta two seconds before I start breaking bones!" Kasumi swooned as she heard that being the first thing that came to his mind to describe her.

"What? No!" She was worried as she saw the men panicking.

"One!"

"We didn't do nothin'! That woman ran away when we got here, we're jus' lookin' fer what's ours!" She could see some of the ice drain from Ranma's glare at the response.

"Whatever it is, ain't nuthin' here fer ya." Before the other man could blink, Ranma was within his guard, knocking him out cold.

Kasumi watched carefully as he went from room to room, knocking out each of the thugs until he got to the kitchen. Without realizing it, she started to cheer as he confronted their leader. Now, she knew he was going to pay for eating the food she lovingly made for Ranma? After seeing the man knocked out, she felt a bit bad about cheering for violence, but she did not allow it to bother her for very long, and started looking for the way out. Luckily, the lock button also unlocked the door, and she was able to leave.

"Kasumi, there ya are! Glad yer okay!"

"Anata, you are back!" Kasumi practically jumped across the room to throw her arms around his neck, and smother him in kisses. "You saved me again!" After a second, Ranma returned the embrace, but she could tell he was still a bit distracted. "Darling? Is something wrong?"

"Ain't sure, I can't sense anyone, but sumethin' don't feel right."

"I am sorry, is it me?"

"No, ya feel great, ya always do." He gave her a quick kiss on the lips as she blushed. "It's sumethin' else, I don't know... Just wait here a sec., I'm gonna go take out th' trash!" Ranma went over, picked up the still unconscious body of their leader, and carried him over to the front door before tossing him out. As he turned around to go get the next of the fallen gangsters, Kasumi heard the explosive burst of a gun firing, and just as Ranma turned toward the sound, his head jerked back and he fell to the floor!

"RANMA, NOOOOOO!" Kasumi let out an ear piercing scream, threatening to shatter glass and any ear drums in range. She could not believe what she had just seen, she had no idea how anyone could have gotten a gun in Japan, and worse yet, use it to do something so horrible! 'How could anyone do that to someone so kind?'

She wanted to cry, but she felt something else building inside of her, and it was screaming to be let out! It built up inside of her until she felt ready to burst, her love for Ranma, mixed with something else, a feeling she had not known for a great many years... Suddenly a bright pink light filled the room, and spilled out into the neighborhood, catching people's attention for several blocks.

Not one person caught within the affects of the blast could manage to feel any aggression, for the rest of the day. However, there was one person, who ended up taking the brunt of the unknowing blast, and he suddenly became so calm, he fell out of the tree he was hiding in, knocking himself out cold, a gun falling from his hand.

Kasumi slowly crawled over to where Ranma collapsed, tears flowing freely, much like her own father. Her sobs caught in her throat as she excitedly noted that he was still breathing and that there was no blood! Before she realized it, he started getting to his feet, quick to form a protest on his lips. "Hey, that hurt, ya know?"

"RANMA! How? You just got shot!"

"Eh? Ya ain't got ta worry about me er nuthin, even Kuno can hit harder 'an that!" He spit the shell out of his mouth, from where he had caught it in his teeth. "Couldn't let it get ya."

Kasumi just stared at him, her mouth agape and her mind unable to process what had just happened. "You are okay! ...I thought-! Well, never mind what I thought!"

"Guess I missed one, explains that bad feeling, but wow! What was that, you were amazing!" Ranma grabbed her by the shoulders, gazing into her eyes with a look of sheer amazement.

"What did I do?"

"That attack! Oh, just a moment." Ranma ran across the street, bopping the taller man on the head and breaking his gun before dragging him over to where their leader was. "Ya got some rope? Never mind." He found a rope in one of their pockets, and quickly tied the pair up before going after the others he had already knocked out, who he restrained with their own clothing.

"What attack?"

Ranma went and grabbed a bucket and started to fill it with water. "Your ki! It looked like a big pink heart, and flew straight at that tree an' exploded!"

"It did? How did I do that?"

"Well, I know you have been practicing for a while now, and ki is triggered by emotion, the stronger the emotion, the more powerful the ki can be."

"I did that?"

"Yup!" Ranma grinned at her, reminding her a bit of a mentor looking at their favorite student, or a proud parent looking at their child. "Don't worry, we'll help ya train ta be able ta control it better, we can start as soon as get some free time."

"But, I am not-..."

"No need ta worry, if ya know what yer doin', an' learn ta control it, ya won't have ta do nuthin' ya don't want ta do. No more wild outbursts."

"Really?"

"Of course! Ya trust me, don't ya?"

"More than anyone, A-na-ta!"

Ranma blushed at the change in her tone of voice and expression, almost spilling the bucket he was holding. "First, we got ta take care a' these jerks." In one swift motion, he emptied the contents of the pail over the head of the leader of the attackers and their gunman. After waiting a moment for them to sputter themselves awake, Ranma started questioning them. "So, ya gonna tell us what's yer problem?"

The larger man elbowed the skinnier man in the western suit and hat. "I thought I told you to shoot anyone that got in our way!"

"I DID! Right in the head! But, then, they did that thing."

"What thing?"

"I don't know!"

"Glad I was expectin' trouble..." Ranma shrugged off the thought.

"Oh, my everything hurts!"

"Be glad yer still able ta feel anything!" Glaring down at the man with a rage in his eyes, Ranma cracked his knuckles.

"You're a monster!"

"Only if ya make me mad." He reared back, slugging the man as soon as he started to make a move.

"Ranma!" Kasumi took his hand in hers, hoping to help calm him.

"Hey, if they'd a' hurt ya, I don't know what I'd a done, but they wouldn't be talkin', one way, er another!" Ranma was eyeing their boss's jaw while rubbing his fist. "Now, ya gonna tell us what yer doin' here, er do I gotta get angry?" Ranma's aura flared up, and he started cracking his knuckles by simply flexing his fingers.

"Look, we don't really want any trouble, we just want Akane!"

Kasumi's bright pink aura flared to life again, relaxing only as Ranma's hand rested on her shoulder. "Hey! We might not be engaged any more, but I ain't letting ya kidnap nobody!"

"What? 'Engaged'? To a plushie?"

"Hey! It wasn't our idea! It was our stupid fa-...! Wait, what 'plushie'?"

"My kid's favorite toy! A stuffed oni, we named it 'Akane'!"

Kasumi held up the toy they had found in the attic. "Do you mean, Akun? But it is a boy!"

"No, it used to have a bikini top too, but that fell off years ago."

"Oh my..." Kasumi blushed as she looked down at the toy, quickly covering its chest.

"But, why's it here?"

"This used to be my house! But we were, uh, forced to sell it ...really fast you see, and we were not able to take everything with us when we left."

"That explains why it was so well furnished when we moved in." Kasumi looked around thoughtfully. "Though that does not explain why you did not simply ask us!"

The leader lashed out with his leg, kicking one of the recently awoken underlings. "You DIDN'T ask? I though you said that they refused, and we had to case the joint?"

"But, I did! I asked, an' they said that 'they had no 'Akanes' here, an' that I should die', after cursing my mother's ancestry..."

"Oh my! Whoever could have said such things?"

"Long brown hair, a bunch a' cookin' tools..."

"Ucchan! That makes sense..." Ranma could see how she might get upset if someone came here asking about Akane, especially if she were having a bad day.

"Look, we really didn't want to hurt anyone!"

"But what about this guy? Ya shot me!"

"Hey! I'm not really with these guys, I was just repaying an old favor! I was just supposed to take out anyone who beat that guy. I'll be leaving the country again tomorrow! You don't have to worry about me, besides, you broke my favorite gun!"

"You had better let me look at that, Ranma."

"At what?"

"Where you got hit, of course! There is no need to act so tough!" Kasumi put her hands on her hips, trying to look stern, though her concern was showing through.

Ranma grinned at her, showing off his pearly whites. "Caught it. But it was pretty powerful gun, so it still knocked me off my feet, bumped my head when I fell."

"Oh my!" She checked the back of his head, looking for any damage before she ran to retrieve some disinfectant and a small bandage to keep the medicine inside. "There you are, you cannot be too careful."

"Yeah, yeah..."

She could tell that Ranma did not like the unintended implication that he was weak, but at the same time, she saw him smile a bit at having her dote on him. As much as she wanted to do so, she knew he would not be happy if she embraced him at that moment, so she decided to wait, saving that for later.

"So, ya did all this, fer a toy?" Ranma glared at the large man cowering on the floor.

"Hey, it was my kid's favorite, you'll understand, once you have kids of your own."

"Kids?" Ranma took a step back as if he had been punched.

Ranma paled at the mention of them, but Kasumi blushed as she considered the possibility. "Oh my..."

"Looks like you might be closer than you think."

"Urk!"

The leader did his best to prostrate himself while still tied to the gunman. "I am truly sorry about this, if I had known you were willing to talk to us, none of this would have ever happened. If there is anything we can do to make this up to you, just let me know. We do not want any more trouble with you!"

"I'd hope not! Just don't ever bother Kasumi, er nobody else around here that can't fight, and we ain't got no problems."

"You hear that boys? This neighborhood's under our protection now!" Other than the gunman, the rest of the men yelled out their assent. "Anyone around here gets hurt, you'll answer to me!"

"Ya touch Kasumi here, ya'll wish that's all that happens!" Ranma's eyes showed how serious he was about his threat. "No lousy guns gonna help ya, neither! Every. Last. One. Of. You."

"Ranma, please! You do not need to worry about me that much!"

"I can't help it, I couldn't fergive myself if ya got hurt, an' no one else would either."

"I would. What happens to me is not your fault."

"Yeah, it is, 'cause I told ya, I'd always protect ya, an' Ranma Saotome 'never' breaks a promise!" He looked at the men as he said that last part, waiting for each of them to register his implied threat. Being the polite woman that she was, Kasumi chose not to mention any of the exceptions to that claim that she could easily remember, after all she knew most of those anomalies were unintentional, or from his childhood and long forgotten.

"If you'd be so kind as to untie us, we will get out of your hair."

"But Aniki, what about the-...?"

"This is your fault, we will try to find another one, and YOU will take full responsibility!"

"But ...Aniki!"

"Do you have a 'problem' with that?"

"NO SIR!" He looked at his hands, wondering which finger he would lose next.

Staring back down at them, Ranma gave them each a cold stare. "Fine, but don't try nuthin' stupid. Ya can trust me, yer gonna regret it if ya do."

Kasumi saw him tense as he moved to untie the leader of the gang, but neither him, nor the gunman made any aggressive moves. "Ya guys can untie th' others, but remember, I'll be watchin' ya."

They both watched as the minions were freed, Ranma's unease rubbing off on Kasumi, leaving her with a bit of trepidation as she waited to see what would happen next. When she saw them starting to leave without any further incident, she walked over, handing the small toy to the taller man. "Here, please, take this with you. Tell your child 'thank you for allowing me play with it'." They bowed to each other, as the man stared at her in shock.

"What, why?" He just stood there, glancing between the plushie in his hands and the woman with the pleasant smile standing before him.

"Well, I would not wish a child to be without their favorite toy! That would not be very nice, would it?"

"Thank you very much! I am eternally grateful, we owe you two debts now!"

"Oh no, it is no trouble, do not worry yourself."

"Well, here is my card, call me if you ever need anything. Thank you."

"No, no, it is my pleasure!"

Ranma took the card, just so he knew where to find them if anything ever happened that he did not like, and then turned to chide the woman beside him. "Kasumi!"

"What?" The innocent expression she returned to him reminded him that she was going to be polite to anyone, and there was likely very little he could do about that.

Ranma just shook his head as they walked out through their front gate watching them leave, deciding to concern himself with what he could control. "Don't worry, I'll win ya another one, next time we go out, okay?"

"You still wish to go out with me, even now?"

"Well, a' course! Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, you are there with Shampoo-chan, and I thought you were only doing that for your mother, who is not planning on staying here often any longer, so you do not need to worry about-..."

Ranma managed to pull them back through the gate and toward their house before his outburst. "This ain't got nuthin' ta do with Mom! It's like what ya said, I just like spendin' time with ya, an' want ta be around ya. I like doin' stuff together with ya, an' I thought ya did too, but if ya don't want ta...?"

"Oh, I do!" Kasumi answered quickly turning away as her eyes started to leak. "But, what about Shampoo-chan?"

"What'd ya mean?" Closing the door behind them, he turned back her direction.

"Would that not make a better match for you? You both have so much in common, you are about the same age, and that figure! Is that not better?"

"I like Shampoo all right, ya know, but if I 'got' ta pick between ya, then, well, I'd rather be with ya, I guess. ...Ya know?"

"What? No! How-? How could you...?" Kasumi's tears were flowing freely, and she no longer had any control over the emotion in her voice at all.

"No?" Ranma ran around in circles, panicking and chanting his mantra as he saw her starting to cry. "What-do-I-do? What-do-I-do? What-do-I-do?"

The next time he ran passed her, Kasumi suddenly reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling him into an embrace. "This. You, do 'this'." She held him tight, sobbing into his shoulder, and trying to calm her breathing before she could find her voice again. Wiping the tears away, Kasumi stepped back and looked into the younger boy's eyes while still holding his hands in hers. "Anata, did you mean what you said?"

"Not if it made ya mad!" Ranma was panicking, the last person he wanted to upset was crying in his arms, and he had no idea how to fix it!

"No, Darling, if you were not just joking with this old lady, then it made me very happy!"

"I ain't jokin'! I like ya, is that really hard ta believe?"

"A bit..." Kasumi hesitated for only a moment longer before kissing him and melting into his warm arms.

Moments later, they were interrupted by a pounding on their door and a voice yelling from the other side! "Hello? Is anyone home?"

"Stay back!" Ranma sharply whispered, before gently guiding her into the next room before opening the door to revel their neighbors.

"We heard such a noise! Are you all right?"

Ranma let out a sight of relief, glad they were not being attacked again. "Yeah, we're fine, just a had a little problem with some thugs."

"Little problem?"

"THUGS? Whatever happened?"

Kasumi came back out into the entryway with a greeting and a smile on her lips. "Oh my, it seems as though the last owners of this house left something behind, and were rather insistent about getting it back."

"But, what was that noise we heard?"

"Must a' been that jerk with th' gun." Ranma shrugged nervously,

"GUN?" The older couple almost fell back in shock. "Oh Honey! This is why we moved back from America!"

"Our insurance doesn't cover martial artists or guns!"

"No offense, but this close ta Nerima, ya really need ta rethink that..." Ranma chuckled softly to himself.

"Is this funny to you?"

"Hey, I'm th' one that got shot at!"

"WHAT?"

"I don't see any blood, are you okay, young man?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I caught it. Ya ain't got ta worry, nobody got hurt too bad."

"Honey?" The woman looked up at her husband, and he was looking into her eyes as well, as if they were communicating on an unspoken level.

"I think so too." The man turned back to face Ranma and Kasumi with a sad, almost desperate expression on his features. "Guess this wasn't the best place to retire after all, we are going to move closer to our daughter who works with the American military base on Guam. It seems safer."

"Oh my, but we have not been able to do the repairs yet! I am so sorry!" The humble young woman bowed deeply, the regret clear in her voice.

"That is okay, we understand, perhaps we could get you to do us a favor?"

"Of course, what do you need?"

"Well, as we said, we would like to move ...as soon as possible! So, we were wondering if you could help us manage the sale once you are done?"

"We would be happy to do anything we can to help!"

"Yeah, Mom said we should have the money ta start in a few days er somethin' at most."

"Really, that soon?" Once again, the couple exchanged glances, and nodded. "We have another suggestion then, how would you like to BUY that house for a bit more than you were going to spend to fix it. That way, we get our money sooner, and you can expand your house instead of repairing ours! What do you say?"

Ranma turned to look at a stunned Kasumi, wondering what they should do, the idea of building their own dojo had crossed both of their minds for very different reasons. "How much 'more'?"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

After their guests had left and they considered their options, something crossed the young woman's mind. "Dana-sama, why were you so rude to those gentlemen earlier? They only wanted that toy to be returned."

"Cause they were yakuza."

"What? Really?"

"Yeah, some were missin' fingers, most a' 'em had tattoos an' stuff, 'cept that gun guy, th' way they talked, all kind a' signs."

"Oh my! I am sorry I doubted you even that much!"

"Nah, don't worry 'bout it. I ain't never had nobody that actually seemed ta really trust me before, at least not since I was a kid, and even then it might just be my memory of it. I guess sometimes I only remember what I want ta remember." Ranma sighed as he thought about all of the times he forgot something critically important, such as with Ukyo and Ryoga.

"Then I suppose we need to make certain that we make memories that you will want to keep!" She playfully tapped his forehead with her index finger.

"There's nuthin' 'bout ya that I'd ever want ta forget."

"Aw, Ranma, that is so sweet!" Wrapping her arms around his waist, she resumed their earlier kissing. After a few moments, she broke it off, and turned her head away with a guilty expression. "I need to apologize to you."

"Huh? What for?" Ranma gently tilted her head back toward him, so he could look into her eyes.

"Those bad men ruined your dinner, and I am certain that it is quite cold now!"

"Hey, if ya made it, I'm sure it'd still taste great!" Ranma grinned, not letting her look away.

Kasumi pouted a bit before grinning with a twinkle in her eye and switching to an imitation of Shampoo's sing-song tone of voice and speaking pattern. "But Kasumi have other thing for Airen eat now..."

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NOTES

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Kyonyuu - Huge breasts. I assume every knows what a 'jutsu' is...

-!-

'Biki' can mean either 'beautiful maiden/beauty' or '-off' (as in a 'discount'). So while most women might focus on the 'beautiful' aspect, Nabiki's mind latches onto the 'discount' definition, and recoils, as if the flirty aspect of the nickname was not bad enough to her.

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We are nearly there, come back next time to see, 'Yucky Yakuza', or 'Nosey Neighbors'.


	50. Chapter 50

Warning: If anyone asks you why you are reading this, lie, tell them it is good! That'll show them! Maybe next time they won't eat anything in the mini-fridge with YOUR name on it!

Chapter 50 - Contrived Confessions

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Standing there in their backyard, wearing her pastel pink and blue gi, Kasumi looked at the wooden figures Ranma set up for her to use for her training. It also made her feel better that they were nondescript, and not dressed as Ranma, like her little sister's always were.

"Okay, so gather up yer ki, concentrate on one a' th' practice dummies-..."

"Oh my, that is not a very nice thing to call them!"

"What, the dummies?"

"Just because they do not have brains, does not mean we need to be rude!"

Ranma could not help but laugh, leave it to Kasumi to worry about being nice to an inanimate object! At least if any of them gained sentence and came to life, she would not have to worry about anything attacking her. "Okay, okay, concentrate on one a' th' 'targets', better?" Her face lit up as she smiled back at him while nodding. "Focus yer ki inta yer hands, an' when ya feel ready, let it fly at th' target."

Kasumi had been practicing this a bit in her free time, though she had always been too nervous to have had much success thus far. She had felt close a number of times, yet it had always seemed to fizzle out before she got anywhere, it was mildly frustrating.

She was starting to get tense when Ranma's warm breath carried his soft voice into her ear. "Try ta remember what ya felt at that moment yesterday, see if ya can recreate that emotion."

The shiver down her spine distracted her unease and she was able to relax a bit, even as a small frown crossed her lips. That was one occasion she wished she could forget forever, she never wanted to relive that pain again. "Is that the only way?"

"Well, not really, but it's th' easiest way, once ya git used ta it, then ya can trigger it without it. What you need to do, is figure out what works fer ya, fer me, I use my confidence, but Ryoga's more about depression, each of us is different. Start with what ya know works, an' we can work from there."

Kasumi could not argue with his logic, even if she did not care for what it entailed. "Okay, if you insist."

"It really is th' easiest way."

She reached deep inside, remembering all of the horrible thoughts that had gone through her mind, and all of the terrible feelings that had welled up inside of her. The image of Ranma falling before her eyes, seemingly dead, the hurt, frustration, and anger started to overwhelm her, and then she realized the last thing she remembered before everything exploded, her desire for everyone to just calm themselves and get along! She instinctively shoved all of those other unpleasant emotions aside, and concentrated upon her desire for harmony as she felt the energy leave her hands.

"Ooooo..." She opened her eyes just in time to see a pink heart explode as it hit the mark and exploded in a very pretty light show, though much to their surprise, the mannequin remained untouched. "Oh puu... What do you think I did wrong, Dana-sama?"

Turning her head to the side, she noticed Ranma looking a bit dazed and confused. "RANMA! Are you all right?"

Blinking several times, Ranma got back to his feet, steadying himself and shaking his head to clear the cobwebs. "Well, that's interestin', probably explains why I had such a hard time recoverin' after gettin' knocked down! ...Didn't think I hit my head THAT hard."

"Well, at least it was not as bad as 'last time'." Kasumi did not think she would ever forget the day Akane had chased him with a frying pan, and he fell into the pond, hitting his head on the rocks.

"I'd rather ferget that, if ya don't mind."

"Sorry." Kasumi blushed a little, still glad that he did not start wearing dresses again this time. While 'she' had been cute and fun to dress-up, it had made him so unhappy to have realize how he had acted when he regained his personality, she never wanted to see him like that again!

"I think ya just need ta work on yer power."

"Okay, Dana-sama, I will try to make it stronger next time!" Kasumi started to concentrate when Ranma stopped her.

"No, no, no, it was TOO strong! I think ya knocked out every normal person fer about a kilometer!"

"OH MY! OH MY! OH MY!"

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Ranma had carried Kasumi with him to the roof, to look at the stars with him, hoping to share one of the few parts of his life that brought him peace, with the one person in his life who could do the same. He was a little concerned about her, since this roof was steeper than the one at her family's home, and his apprehension seemed to be warranted, as she continued to cling to him. Eventually he decided it was easier and safer if he simply held her in his lap.

"Oh my... It is lovely up here, is it not?"

"Yeah, I like ta come up here ta relax."

"Yes, I know." While she was enjoying the view, if it had not been for Ranma holding her, Kasumi would have been fearful of falling, but the she was lost in the feeling of once again being held in his protective arms. 'I am not certain that I could if I were alone.'

"The company makes it even better."

"Oh?" Lost in his warmth, she started up into the night, almost hypnotized by the twinkling of the stars in the clear heavens above them. "Yes, yes it does."

While he was concerned about her obvious discomfort with being up here with him, there was a part of him which thrilled at having the young woman clinging to him so closely. He tried to snuggle more closely as he had been shown, occasionally planting a quick kiss on her neck or earlobe, but the more affectionate he tried to be, further distant she seemed to get. Even as he tried to question her, the responses he received became less coherent as had hoped to get closer.

Kasumi no longer was fully aware of where she was or what she was doing, but she knew that she was safe and happy, floating on a warm cloud, surrounded by love and joy. She was far too happy to pay much attention to her surroundings, with each bit of pleasant stimuli sending further off into dreamland.

Disappointed by Kasumi's lack of reaction to his attempted flirting, Ranma contemplated his current situation. While he felt guilty about hurting Ukyo, he had rarely seen her as more than his friend, and it had always felt a bit uncomfortable when she tried to be romantic with him. His night with Hinako had been amazing, and they had tried so many things, it still felt a bit strange to him, there had just been something nagging him at the back oh his mind that told him she had been a bit ...'distracted' for lack of a better word, and not entirely on him. Shampoo had been easily as adventurous as Hinako, yet with so much more passion behind her actions that sometimes Ranma felt as if he would burst just remembering the feeling of their auras intertwined. Then there had been Kasumi, the kind older woman who had accepted him so fully, when they had been together it had felt as though a doorway had opened into another world, one of happiness and love.

He cared about them all, albeit in very different ways, he just did not think that it was fair to any of them to make them choose like that. Well, he supposed that Ukyo had already made her choice for him, but with the others, he just did not really know what to do. Considering what Kasumi had told him, he tried to clear his mind, thinking about what he know of each woman.

Hinako was fun to be with but in a lot of ways, he always felt as though he was being judged, in one way or another, and in other ways it felt as though he to watch her at every moment, for fear of what she might get into next. He felt as much her guardian as her ward, hanging out with her could be as emotionally exhausting as being with both Shampoo and Ukyo while they were fighting. It was ...frustrating.

Shampoo was a lot of fun most of the time, he enjoyed hanging out with her, they had a lot in common, and other than having a bit of trouble understanding her at times, he had found that they really had fun together. He actually owed her quite a lot, he had lost count of the number of times she had helped him during various adventures, it was thanks to her that he now ran a business, and that did not begin to mention the many things she had introduced him and Kasumi to, as well as their recent nighttime activities.

All of which made him feel suddenly guilty when his mind moved to the happy homemaker he held close to him. Always there, supporting him, and encouraging him to do his best, almost never asking anything for herself. He was still stunned that she would be willing to be with him of her own accord, and not simply because of guilt, or that their parents were pushing her into it. The thought of which filled him with a level of happiness he did not think was possible for him, heedless of goofy grin on his lips.

At some point while Ranma had been lost in thought, Kasumi had fallen asleep, snuggled to his chest, and he found himself getting lost in her dozing features. He had no idea how long he watched her slumbering in his arms, but he started to feel himself start to nod off as well, so he hopped down from the roof as gently as he could, carrying the sleeping beauty to her room.

As he put her into bed, he noticed that she was mumbling to herself and seemingly unwilling to let go of his neck. With a sigh, he laid down next to her with a quick kiss on her cheek.

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"Oh, hey Shampoo, yer back. That took longer than ya thought, everythin' okay?" Ranma had expected her back that morning, if not the night before.

"Is okay, Grandmother is leave soon, want help pack, and give Shampoo chance pick what want keep. Sorry take long, is okay?"

"Yeah, we got everythin' done fine."

"Is good, Shampoo have worry..." His face did not seem to reflect that everything was 'fine' though, and she wondered what was happening.

"Hey, um, Shampoo, uh, I got ta tell ya somethin'..."

"Shampoo too, have thing say!"

"Oh yeah?" Ranma never was good at broaching certain topics, and he really did not want to have this talk, so he hesitated...

"Okay, Shampoo go first! Great-Grandmother say even though leave, can visit village anytime for training when ready! Make sure keep house for Shampoo and Airen. If want stay, can be, how say, 'liaison' for village and Japan contact."

"Oh, yeah? That's nice..." Ranma was barely listening to her as he thought about what he had to do. Kasumi had kept telling him that he needed not to worry, and talk to Shampoo, but that was exactly what had him worried!

"What wrong? Airen no seem too too happy..."

Seeing the concern on her beautiful features caused a sharp pain in his chest. "Oh, well, it's just that, ya see..."

"What try say? Why no want tell Shampoo?"

"Well, ya see..." Ranma glanced back, and saw Kasumi nod at him reassuringly. "I kind a' got somethin' ta tell ya."

"Oh? What is?"

"It is just that I, I mean, we..." Ranma took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself, worried about what her reaction might be.

"It is all right, Anata, everything will be fine." Kasumi smiled reassuringly, hoping to give him strength.

Ranma nodded, and straightened his posture. "Shampoo?"

"Yes, Airen?" She looked up at him with wide, hopeful eyes.

"This mornin', well, we kind a' talked, ya see, an' we decided that we want ta be tagether fer th' rest a' our lives."

"Aiyaaa..."

"I lo- love Kasumi!" Ranma's face was as beat red, unable to believe that he had said it aloud.

Shampoo's eyes went wide as he spoke. "Is true?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, but that's how it is, I mean I like ya too, but-..."

"Aiyaaa...! So happy!"

"I know, I really am sorry- ...wait, WHAT?"

"Now can all be too too happy as big family!"

"Oh my..." Kasumi winked at Shampoo with a knowing smile.

"Is what tell Onee-chan, yes? Is like family, but better." She feigned confusion, at Kasumi with a twinkle in her eye.

"Huh, what'd ya mean?" Ranma spared glances between them, wondering what they were planning.

"Shampoo and Ranma is full marry now from other night, Shampoo and Kasumi is bonded family, so now Ranma marry Kasumi and all be too too happy!"

"But, how? I didn't think ya could do that!"

"Great-Grandmother have talk with Ranma-Mother, make plan. Shampoo fulfill law for tribe." She subconsciously rubbed her belly. "If Japan no see as married, Shampoo no care, know is true to ones what matter! Ranma marry Kasumi-onee-chan in Japan and Ranma-Mother write Shampoo for ...what word, 'family registry'?"

Kasumi wrapped her arms around him from behind. "I told you that everything would work out for the best. Did I not?"

Stepping up to him, Shampoo ran her finger along his jaw-line. "Airen no have problem be with two too beautiful womans for life, yes?"

"What? No, I mean, I don't-..." Looking back and forth between them hoping to get a clue from at least one of them, all he saw was the pleading expressions looking back at him. "...guess I got a choice!" Once again, his life was being decided for him, but for once, he could not find it in himself to be overly upset about it.

"Of course you do! I would never want to force you to do anything, Shujin-sama!" Shampoo gave her a sidelong glance, but said nothing. "This is completely your decision, no one else can make it for you."

"Would that ...make ya both happy? I didn't think-..." Could anything in his life work out that easily? Could he actually make both of these women happy, and not lose anyone else from his life? If he had known that, maybe all of this could have been solved much sooner, but he could not shake the feeling in the back of his mind that he would have been smashed into a pulp if he had been the one who had suggested it.

"Aiyaa! Be too too happy!"

Kasumi was vigorously nodding, but her tears confused Ranma, and he started to worry that she might not be being entirely honest. Then he remembered what she had told him, and turned into her arms before returning the hug and kissing her with everything he had. Her surprise lasted only a moment before she was giving as good as she received, as they tuned out the rest of the world.

"No forget, Shampoo here too..." With a grin, the pair both turned their attention toward their alluring 'Amazon', not wanting to leave her ...'wanting'.

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"Where're ya takin' me?" Shampoo was leading him along by the hand, as they quickly hurried down the street.

"Is celebrate, Shampoo take get food, no make family do cooking."

"But, Shampoo-chan, I 'like' to cook!"

"Is okay Onee-chan, know Airen make too too tired bit ago, want help relax, have fun night."

Kasumi and Ranma both blushed at their shorter companion's openly acknowledging such a private activity as they walked down the street, glad that nobody else was within earshot. "Shampoo-chan!"

"Is okay, know how feel, Shampoo also tired."

"But, that is not-..." Kasumi's thought process was interrupted by the squawking of a large flock of crows flying overhead.

"Aiyaa! Is here!" Shampoo took them both by the hands, pulled them through the door, and got them a table. "Shampoo hear too too good thing about food here."

"Really?" Ranma perked up at the thought of what they might get.

"Oh my..." Looked around, sniffing the air, and trying to pick up any hint of what made the place so special, Kasumi thought it appeared to be a typical yaki-niku restaurant.

A server responded to Shampoo's signal, and came over to take their order, though they received no clues from her ordering three of the best quality specials, with green tea for all of them. The only other clue had been the small grills in the center of each table.

"Shampoo hope both airen work up appetite!"

"Always, but ya gonna tell us what's goin' on?"

"Is all-can-eat barbecue special night!"

"Really? 'ALL' I can eat? They're gonna regret that!" Ranma chuckled at the thought.

"Is true, but no worry, just enjoy, Shampoo want make sure have enough energy for when get home for next round!"

"Oh my!"

"Is husband job keep all wife too too happy!"

Ranma blushed while waving his index finger in front of his mouth, hoping she would keep her voice down.

"No want Big Sister Kasumi regret for say, 'yes', right?"

"Oh my, I do not think that will be possible."

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"Oh my, this restroom is very nice." Kasumi washed her hands as she looked around the room.

"Is true. Nice see keep so clean."

"Oh?"

"Shampoo might grow up in village, but work in restaurant, know is good keep clean." Drying her hands, she looked back at the taller woman.

"I see... Yes, that is true, it is the room that needs the most work."

"Here, Shampoo is okay, now fix Onee-chan make-up."

"But, I am not really wearing any."

"Is okay, no need much, let Shampoo do."

"Well, okay..." Kasumi closed her eyes, and relaxed, trying not to move.

"Shampoo is too too happy Kasumi-onee-chan agree join be marry with Ranma." She looked carefully as she decided what needed an accent color.

"Thank you, while I am surprised, I cannot say that I am exactly unhappy about it either." Kasumi blushed as she thought about their new life plan.

"No really want admit, but Ranma is too too much manly for Shampoo alone!"

"Oh my! Well, I suppose I do not mind picking up your slack anytime you get 'too too tired'."

Giggling, she returned her lipstick to pocket-space. "Shampoo is try work on stamina, no want make too too much work for Big Sister."

"Oh my, it is no trouble, I do not mind at all! I suppose I will fill in for you a 'often' as you need me!"

"Is one why for Shampoo love Onee-chan, always too too willing for 'helping'." Her infectious laughter helped coax Kasumi out of her embarrassment, and join the merriment.

"Oh my, well, I love you too, Shampoo-chan." Kasumi blushed, surprised at herself for being able to admit such a thing in so public a place.

"Is good." Staring into the mirror, the young woman let out a long sigh. "Who know? Go on trip for find girl what wrong Shampoo, and end find no one, but two airen! All hardship pay, even when Shampoo lose, Shampoo win, now make too too happy!"

"Aaaw... I cannot say I saw it coming either, but I am certainly not complaining. I am very happy that you have allowed me into your life."

"Is Shampoo what should say! Shampoo is one what is most 'outsider' now."

"No, not now, not any more. Now, you are family. Remember, 'now and forever'." Kasumi got a first-hand experience of one of Shampoo's lighter 'trademarked' glomps!

"Aiyaaa! Shampoo feel same way, but Onee-chan know this already."

Sticking out her tongue, Kasumi winked and mimicked her friend. "Is true."

"If only Airen here, make moment perfect!"

"Well, it IS the ladies' room."

"Is okay, Husband can be wife part time too." Giving a wink of her own, her look clearly read 'wait until we get home' as she gave the taller woman a peck on the cheek. "What Onee-chan favorite part of Airen body?"

Already blushing at the semi-public display, her color intensified as she pictured Ranma's nude form in her mind. "Oh, well, I suppose I would have to say that strong back. The way it tapers from those broad shoulders to a thinner waist is really, um 'nice', do you not think?"

"Is true, though Shampoo like where end at tight butt!"

"Well, that is certainly not bad either!" The pair shared another laugh at their mutual lover's expense for a moment before calming themselves. "We should probably get back soon."

"Is ready?"

"I suppose so. Do you need anything?"

Shaking her head, the younger woman started toward the door. "No want make Husband wait too too long, yes? Have many thing do when home!"

"Oh my..."

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"It is not a man who has bad grammar, but a boy."

"But, Hinako-sensei, I ain't no good at that stuff!"

"You mean that 'you are not good at any of that stuff', do you not?"

"I guess."

"Now that you have sorted out your other problems, we are going to tutor you until you can graduate!"

"Aiyaa!"

"You too, if you want it." Hinako looked at the young gaijin, thinking that she certainly could use the help.

"Ain't it too late fer that?"

"'Is it not to late for that', and no, no it is not. It is never too late for an education!"

"Oh my, really? Could I join you then?"

"Kasumi! You too?"

"Yes, you see, I never had time for high school when I was younger, so I never went."

"WHAT?"

"Was too too busy care for family to worry about self, is just like Onee-chan!"

"Well, ya ain't got that problem now!"

"No, 'you do not have that problem now'. You are more than welcome to join us, we will study every night after dinner, until I feel that you can all at least pass the equivalency exam, and qualify for a university."

"Oh my! Do you think that I could?"

"Of course! If any a' us could do it, it's Kasumi!"

Hinako shook her head, as it rested in the palm of her hand. "We are going to have a lot of work to do..."

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"Off ta work!"

"Ranma, hold on a moment."

"Yeah, Mom?" Ranma, Shampoo, and Kasumi all stopped as they were preparing to leave.

"Alone." Nodoka waved the others on and they nodded.

"Uh, sure, I guess I'll catch up with ya in a few."

"Is okay, Airen take all time need."

"Yes, we will cover for you if you cannot make it in time."

"Do not worry girls, I will not keep your 'airen' long."

Watching the pair leave, Ranma could not help but think about how lucky he was at that moment. His life would be nearly perfect if only Ukyo would stop being mad at him and his studies were not so difficult, though having Kasumi there to help him made it far more pleasant. Surprisingly, Shampoo was turning out to be far more helpful than he would have expected as well, her grasp of Japanese had been coming along quickly, even if she reverted to her more comfortable baby-talk the rest of the time, especially when she got excited.

"...Ranma? Ranma!"

"Yeah?"

Finally getting her son's attention, she grinned. "If you are done watching your girlfriends' posteriors as they retreat, would you listen to me for a moment?"

"Urk!"

"It is fine, that is very manly and I am proud of you. The sooner we do this, the sooner you can return to them."

"Yeah, all right. What's up?"

"I was going through my things, and I found this. I would like for you to give it to Kasumi-chan, for the future. This is something I used for a while, but now I just hope you will be happy together!" She handed him a small box. "Please, be careful with it, you do not want to lose what is inside."

"Huh? Sure, I'll be careful." Ranma ran after the others, though at a bit slower pace than he normally would have used as he thought about what his mother intended. The small box was not sealed in any way, and it did not take long for his curiosity to get the better of him, and he looked inside to see a second, smaller ring-box, with an actual ring inside! "WHAT?"

He may not have been the best judge of such things, but it did not seem like a very expensive ring, and he honestly wanted to get her a nicer one! That said, he did not want to disappoint his mother, nor did he really think that Kasumi would care how much it was worth, unlike SOME Tendos he knew, not that he would mention who that was, for fear of it costing him dearly. Shoving it into his pocket, he ran ahead, and caught up to them before he knew it.

"What Airen mother want?"

"Nuthin' much, I'll tell ya about it later. We don't wanna be late er nuthin'!" Not waiting for a response, he scooped Kasumi into his arms, and started picking up speed, challenging Shampoo to push herself keep up with him.

"Oh my!"

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Ranma kept waiting for what seemed to be the right moment, but for reasons that not escape even him, while they were working as maids did not ever really feel correct to him. As they ran home, he could see that Shampoo was distracted, she was constantly chewing on her lower lip, and kept glancing over at him when she thought he was not paying attention. He was trying to find a quiet place, out of the way, where they could be alone and he could find the right way to give his mother's gift to Kasumi.

"Wait, where Ranma go? No is way home..."

"Yeah, we're takin' th' scenic route."

"Oh?" Kasumi looked up from nuzzling into his neck, and noticed that they were quite a ways outside of their usual path.

"Wait, what 'is' that?" Ranma landed on the nearest rooftop, setting Kasumi down, and scanning the area for something out of the ordinary.

"Shampoo feel too. Is that way!" Everyone turned to see a swarm of crows attacking a young girl in loose Chinese clothing and two odango buns with a short braid streaming from each. She covered her head as she ran, trying not to get pecked to death by the angry birds.

"Shampoo! Keep Kasumi safe!" Barking out an order that he trusted would be followed without question, Ranma leapt off of the roof and into action.

"No have to tell Shampoo two time!"

"Is that someone you know?"

"No is sure from here, but look like daughter of Jusenkyo guide!"

Within moments, Ranma had the girl in his protective arms, before getting far enough ahead and turning to face the rapidly approaching flock. Remembering one of the techniques he picked up from Ryu, he imbued a bit of ki into his voice and shouted, "STOP!" as he ran backwards. Most of the birds in his path fell out of the sky, unconscious, and he prepared to flip rocks at the few dozen remaining, but before he took out half of them, something else appeared to block his view. At first he thought it was a larger bird, but it turned out to be a boy, with claws, talons, black hair and wings, pointed ears, clothed in a small black tunic. "What're ya supposed ta be?"

"Kakakaka! Give me the girl!"

"Never, ya winded pervert!"

"Then you die now!"

"What are-...?" As the dark bird-man swooped down, Ranma started to put the girl behind him and readied for the attack when he sensed another presence. "Behind me!"

Sensing the attack, he leaned forward, holding the girl below him, protecting her from the onslaught of feather darts raining down on them from above. "Arg!"

"Kikikiki! There's no escape! DIE!" The second bird-man had lighter skin, green hair and eyes, a spotted tunic, and tiger-striped wings and leggings.

"Two a' 'em? This ain't good!" Ranma ran until he came to a building, guiding the girl into the indented doorway as he blocked the opening with his body.

As the pair hovered before him, Ranma prepared to catch any feathers that came their way as he built up his aura. He waited for the second they moved before shouting. "NOW!"

He instinctively stepped back, as he felt the large ball of ki approaching, making sure to shield the child from anything as the two antagonists were stunned before he blurred into motion. "Now it's my turn!" His fists moved faster than anyone could see as he pounded the pair senseless not willing to give any consideration for anyone willing to attack a defenseless child. "Thanks Shampoo-chan!"

"Is happy be help, Airen!"

"What's up with these weird guys?" One of them started to move before Ranma punched him in the head again, knocking him flat. "Do ya know anything 'bout why they were after ya, Kid?"

"Thank you again for saving me, Honored Guest. Is long story."

"Wait, 'Honored Guest', that sounds familiar..."

Shampoo landed beside them, holding Kasumi in her arms.

"Dana-sama, perhaps we should get somewhere safe before-..." As if on cue, the skies opened up and water poured out of the clouds as if someone had just broken a dam. As the curses hit, most of them stared as the pair of bird-men changed into normal boys about their age.

"Rain too too much, Great-Grandmother place closest!"

The young girl did a double take as the rain soaked them. "How girl no change? Oh, is one what order much soap!"

"Ya know about the curses already, huh? That makes this easier, but then ya just got ta be from there, don't ya?" Tossing the young girl onto his shoulders, Ranma-onna scooped Kasumi back up, before they made a break for the Nekohanten.

"Shampoo hope soap hold up, rain is too too- nyaaa..."

"Shimatta!"

"Language! There is a child present!"

Trying not to think about it, Ranma picked up the cursed cat, and handed her to Kasumi without missing a step. The others started to worry about him as his panicked voice gained a trance-like quality, as if he were praying for salvation. "Ain't a cat! It's just Shampoo! Ain't a cat! It's just Shampoo! Ain't a cat! It's just Shampoo! Ain't a cat! It's just Shampoo! Ain't a cat! Ain't a cat! Ain't a CAAAAT!"

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"Shampoo so proud of Husband, no leave curse-self behind. Want thank Airen..." Ranma was obviously a bit uncomfortable at the public display as she pawed at him, but she was still a bit surprised that he did not ward her off.

"Yes, you were very brave, Anata." Kasumi helped to dry them with the towel she had been handed.

The young child glanced back and forth between them with a confused expression on her face, wondering if they had seen the same thing she had.

"I may not have a lot of things left here, but I can still provide you a hot meal, Young One."

"Thank you Honored Elder." She turned her attention to the large bowl of soup placed before her with eager eyes.

"So let me get this straight, you are the Jusenkyo guide's daughter?"

"Yes, I Plum." The young girl paused to speak as she slurped at her food.

"I didn't even know th' guy was married!" Ranma looked dumbfounded at the very idea.

"Lucky girl no look like father, mother must look too too cute."

Looking up from her meal, Plum continued. "Have very important news for honored guests."

Seeing the child was still pausing to continue eating, Cologne turned back to face the others. "Son-in-law, you said that those bird-creatures turned human in the cold rain?"

"What, you know something, Granny?"

The old woman smiled, the boy's manners were improving, she might make a proper warrior out of him yet! "There is a chance that they might be the legendary bird people from Phoenix Mountain." Everyone turned their attention to the old woman, wondering what she might reveal next.

Having finished her soup, the young Chinese girl spoke again. "Yes, is warning Plum bring, along with special map of Jusenkyo!"

"Map? Like where each spring is or something?" Ranma quickly wondered if he could use it to find a cure.

"Father always call it 'Jusenkyo's Secret', say if fall into wrong hands, then all spring might dry up!"

The response to this news was instant and uniform, they all shouted out their shock, and asked a collective, "WHAT?"

"Then we got ta stop them! That's still our best chance at a cure!"

"Probably."

A crestfallen Ranma looked at the ancient woman. "What do ya mean?"

"Well, it is not as if we have ever seen it done with any drastically different curses, it may or may not work. Do you not think that if I thought it would work for certain, that I would not have offered to get you the cure if you married my Shampoo last year and save us all of this trouble?"

"Yeah, maybe, but..."

"Well, Father think is so, but is true, we never see work and records no is clear. Hard say, Plum guess, no one ever think ask."

That gave everyone something to think about as Cologne tried to catch them all up to speed. "Deep in the mountains of China, south of Jusenkyo, stands Mount Phoenix. At the summit of Mount Phoenix, is a pool cursed as the pools of Jusenkyo. According to ancient lore, that pool was cursed when many birds fell in to it and drowned. As the villagers who lived at the foot of the mountain drank from the stream that fed off of that pool, they could have grown wings in recent times."

"So, those weird bird-bodies were their natural forms?"

"So it seems." Cologne looked lost in thought as she considered the new information.

"Oi, Plum, why're those guys tryin' ta dry up all th' Jusenkyo springs?"

"Don't know. Left before find out."

"I guess it don't really matter why, we got ta stop 'em!"

"Excuse me, but if you have come all this way, where is your father during all of this?" Kasumi had to wonder why the man was not protecting his daughter.

"Father try stop from inside. Sneak into mountain, send Plum warn Honored Guests, keep map safe."

Ranma glanced over at Cologne with a hard look in his eyes, and back at Plumb and Kasumi, before looking at the door. The moment she nodded, they both blurred into motion, Cologne taking the non-combatants out of the room, while Ranma launched a handful of ki-infused chopsticks toward the door, and they heard voices yelling as the swinging doors exploded outward, feathers flying everywhere. "Why don't ya come on out?"

The doors opened inward as the two cursed bird-men entered, looking a bit disheveled, and still in their human forms. Following shortly behind them was a beautiful woman with almost white hair and wings, standing a head taller than the two males who were with her. "I am captain Kiima, of Mount Phoenix."

The green haired male with the archery set introduced himself next. "Name's Masara."

"And I'm Koruma."

Ranma and Shampoo stared as the woman thanked several owls for being their guides. "Well, this saves us some time."

"Is true." Shampoo got to her feet, itching to draw her weapons, but not wanting to be the one to set off the melee.

"Kukuku... Your bravado is entertaining, but futile. I suppose you will not hand over the map peacefully then."

"Not a chance!"

"Kukuku." As Ranma moved in for the attack, the taller woman jumped back, making a slashing motion with her wings and flinging feathers in almost every direction. "Thousand Wings of the Seabird!"

Shampoo and Ranma took evasive action as the feathers cut through almost anything that got in their way, surprised by how sharp they were at close range.

"Get them!"

"Yes, Captain!" Koruma surged forward, drawing his sword and meeting Ranma as Masara nocked an arrow. Ranma caught the sword between his hands while Masara took a chui to the head before crumpling to the floor.

With her own dao sword in hand, Shampoo was suddenly by Ranma's side, turning away the jian. "Leave this one to Shampoo!"

Happy to be able to focus on the boss, Ranma grabbed the sturdiest things he could see, a cast-iron skillet and a metal colander before leaping back toward the taller woman. He barely had time to react before the ki-infused feathers managed to slice through his cooking implements before he could properly get his defenses up to reinforce them. Thinking quickly, he used the damaged cookware to pin her to the wall. "Take that!"

Turning his attention toward his restrained superior, the cursed bird-man's jaw dropped. "The captain defeated, what dark magic is this?"

Pulling Ranma's improvised weapons from the wall, Kiima used the remnants of the pan to bop her sword-wielding underling on the head for the presumed insult. "You idiot! I am not defeated, have some trust in your captain! Grab Masara, we are leaving now!"

"Yes, Captain!"

"Oh no ya don't, yer not gettin' off that easy!"

"Even Shampoo need more..."

"You! For hurting my wings, you will pay! Mark my words, we 'will' meet again!"

"Like I'm lettin' ya leave!"

As Ranma moved to pursue them, the leader of the strike team quickly turned, splashing them with a bucket of water, before taking to the air with an obvious wince as she carried her two underlings.

Curses activated, it took all of Ranma's will power not to go running away in a panic as the pink and purple kitten tried to shake the water out of her fur. "It's just Shampoo! Ain't a cat! It's just Shampoo! Ain't REALLY a cat!"

Cologne returned with a teakettle in hand, and a smirk on her lips. "Just keep telling yourself that, Son-in-law, you may just believe it yourself one day."

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Standing atop a smokestack, the leader of the team of bird-people faced out, looking over the expansive city below them as she disdainfully spoke to her panting underlings sat behind her. "Koruma, Masara, you got the map this time, correct?"

"Of course!"

"We would not fail you again, Captain!"

"Here, that guy with the braid dropped it!"

"How could you morons think THAT was a map?" Turning around, she quickly kicked the both of them off of the chimney. "On the other hand, it does give me an idea." She gazed thoughtfully at the small pictures from a coin operated photo-booth, tapping her foot as she considered her options.

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"Don't worry, I'll keep this map safe, and 'Biki-chan will take care of your business until we get back."

"Hey, thanks Ryu, but I really don't think ya want ta get any where near Jusenkyo, it ain't safe!" The last thing Ranma wanted was for another one of his friends to get cursed like him.

"Don't worry, I'll be careful."

"We hear this many time, but still many time fall into pool."

Ryu stepped back, surprised to be chided by the child. "I-, I will keep that in mind. Thank you, Kid."

"Name is 'Plum'." The young girl looked up indignantly.

"Yes, sorry, 'Plum', I appreciate your concern." The taller boy bowed to the youngster with a grin as he saw her beam with pride.

"You welcome, is guide job help honored guest!"

"Well, are you not just the most precious thing?" Kasumi bent down to her level, looking her in the eye, and smiling like a doting relative. "Would you like a treat?"

Her eyes lit up as she clasped her hands together. "Is okay?"

"Of course, it is no trouble. Would anyone else like anything?"

"Sure, thanks Kasumi, that'd be great. It'll be easier ta talk about what we're gonna do on a full stomach."

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"No need to worry, I will make certain to take lots of photographs of our grandchildren to send to you, so you can see them as they grow."

Cologne smiled at Ranma's mother, surprised by the visit, but glad the other woman was safe. "Thank you, but I have seen these video recording devices, perhaps we could arrange that as well?"

"Oh dear, I would love to, though I do not have any such thing..."

"That's fine, I have plenty of your yen left for a few trinkets like that. If you don't mind, I will go get what you need before I leave."

"I suppose if you insist, how could I argue with such a request from 'family'?" Nodoka beamed inwardly, even more excited at her presumed grandchildren.

The ancient woman grinned, glad it did not take much convincing. "Yes, I would consider it a personal favor, if you would."

"It would be my pleasure then."

"I am certain the rest of Shampoo's family will be thrilled, and want to thank you as well."

"Oh dear, you do not need to worry about it, you are family after all, and do not hesitate to come visit us again any time. Though, I have two little piggies awaiting my return right now, and I suppose I really ought to let them out sometime soon."

Cologne's curiosity was piqued, but there was something about the other woman's tone that prevented her from asking, and instead simply waved as her granddaughter's mother-in-law exited their shop. "I will see you soon."

Nodoka turned to bow as she allowed the doors to close, smiling as she still tightly clutched her long bundle. "Please, join us for dinner, if you have nothing better to do."

"Thank you, I may at that."

Nodoka got a strange feeling as she left the closed cafe, but her mind was far too filled with grandchildren as she walked away from the small restaurant to pay it much mind. She was not certain how many blocks she walked, but her unease did not lessen and before long she broke into a light jog. Looking down as she ran, she thought she saw the shadow of an angel, but as she tried to look toward the sky, an egg hit her in the face, and her world went dark.

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"The most important thing's we keep th' map an' th' girls safe."

Ryu turned to his future brother in-law, in complete agreement. "I hear you. Do you want me to watch both?"

"Nah, it's best if they ain't with it."

"Then, I ...might have a suggestion."

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"Wow, Kasumi, how long's this room been here?"

"I suppose the whole time, but I just found it a while ago."

"What is?" Shampoo ran over to the wall of screens. "Can see all house!"

"Yes, it seems there are monitors for almost every room. Ryu-kun, please be a dear, and keep this to yourself, it would probably be best if my dear little sister did not hear about this room."

"Uh, yeah? What room do you mean, Onee-chan?"

Kasumi's eyes brightened. "Oh my, I am glad you are willing to finally call me 'sister' now!"

Ryu suddenly turned away, his cheeks slightly glowing. "Well, I AM engaged to your little-sister ...'officially'."

"Hey, good luck with that Man, few're brave enough ta try." Ranma patted the taller boy's shoulder in a show of camaraderie. "I guess I should be welcomin' ya ta th' family!"

"Yeah, well, thanks. I guess I didn't really think of it that way."

"Is okay, family to Ranma and Kasumi-nee-chan, is family to Shampoo!"

"Hello? Is anyone home?" The voice came from the speakers, and they saw Nodoka in the entryway on one of the short-circuit televisions.

"What's Mom doin' here?" Ranma ran out into the hallway to meet her part way.

"Oh, coming out of Kasumi-chan's room this early in the day? How manly!" Nodoka swooned at her own assumptions.

"Thought ya said ya were stayin' at th' Tendos' place fer now?"

"Oh yes, that was the plan, but..."

"Pops' did somethin' stupid?"

"Well..."

"Ya ain't get ta tell me, I know all about it."

"Yes, well, you do not mind if I stay here for a bit longer, do you?"

"Naw, a' course yer always welcome."

"Thank you."

"Ain't no problem, there's some dinner left, if ya want some..."

"Oh no, I am fine. Is there anything I can do to help you?"

"Naw, it's fine, let me make ya some tea..."

"Oh?"

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"Hey! Ryu! Ya got a minute?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"I need ya ta help keep an eye on my mom, can't be too careful, ya know?"

"Yeah, I understand. Ya can count on me!"

"Thanks ...Brother."

"No, it's no problem, family's important, trust me, I know." Going where Ranma had indicated, Ryu found Nodoka, apparently waiting for him.

"Hello, Ryu-chan."

"Yes Ma'am, I am here to, um, watch over, er, keep you company, for a while..."

"Oh, my son is too busy for me, and sent you, a big, strong, young man to keep, me, company, is that it?"

Nodoka had moved uncomfortably close to him, and was running he finger along his chest. "Um, Ma'am?"

"Call me ...'mother'."

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"Do not worry Plum-chan, Ranma and the others will be back soon, and we will be safe in here until then. Would you like to play another game?"

"Okay! What game?"

"Do you know how to play 'ohajiki'?"

"No think so. What is?"

Kasumi smiled as she pulled out a bag, and poured a pile of coin-shaped pieces that looked like flattened glass marbles onto the floor between them. "First, let us decide who goes first. 'Jankenpon'!"

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What will happen next time? Who knows, but tune in for 'A Bird in the Hand', or 'Two in the Bush' anyway, maybe we will find out! ...or not.


	51. Chapter 51

Disclaimer: This has been a test of the emergency fan fic network. If this had been an actual story, it would have been good.

Chapter 51 - You can't Break an Omelet Without Making a Few Eggs

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Ranma and Shampoo had been having very no luck tracking down their feathered foes, who seemed to have little trouble concealing their presences. They had stopped in the Nekohanten to see if Cologne had fared any better, to no avail. After making a few plans, she promised to let them know if she sensed anything before she left, and they decided to check back in with their house.

The first thing they noticed was that their front door was wide open, and worry filled them both. As they ran into the house, they heard muffled screams coming from his mother's room, and throwing open the door, they saw something neither of them could have expected. The room was filled was some of the strangest items, most of which were made of black leather, including the outfit and restraints the bound and gagged Ryu was 'wearing'. After unhooking the ball-gag, Ranma removed the head-covering, before working on the restraints.

"Ranma, is that you? Thanks Man..."

"Ya okay? Where's Mom?"

"I have good news, and bad news."

"What happened?"

"The good news is that your mother is not hurt, but I lost the map."

"What? How did that happen?"

"Is note. Say, 'Dear Ranma, I am sorry I had to borrow that map, I did not mean to deceive you, but I did not have a choice. I do not know if I will be able to see you again, but please, tell Kasumi-chan, that other than Nabiki-chan's iinazuke, everything else in my room is my wedding gift!' Then say 'Love, Mother'. What do, Airen?"

"Who did this? How could ya let this happen?"

"Didn't you hear the note? After you left, your mother started acting weird, and the next thing I know, I was stripped, and bound!"

"Yer tellin' me, ya couldn't break out ta that?"

"I thought I could, but I couldn't get any leverage, your mother is one of the scariest people I have ever seen!" Ryu rubbed his wrists and stretched to make certain he could still move everything correctly.

After freeing Ryu, they hurried to Kasumi's room, knocking and calling to her to open the door. It took far longer than they had expected, and by the time the secret door began to open, they had started to worry, with Ranma seconds away from smashing through the wall to see if they were safe. "Kasumi! Yer okay!"

"Of course I am, Silly! Why would I not be?"

"Mom's gone! Didn't ya see nuthin'?"

"Oh my, no. Plum and I were too busy playing games." Just then they looked around and saw the various toys scattered around the floor. "I suppose we could check the tape."

After a momentary outburst, Kasumi did her best to remember how to replay the footage and they sat in awe at Nodoka's handiwork, with Kasumi covering Plum's eyes with her hands. "Oh my..." They watched as she waited for Ryu to turn his back before pouncing, they could not believe their eyes as they saw him stripped and restrained in an instant.

"I can't believe I was taken so easily..." Ryu hung his head in shame.

"Aiyaaa..." Shampoo's eyes were wide as she watched every detail, having a good idea what it felt like to be handled like that, thanks to her 'older sister's skills.

"Japanese womans is too too forceful!" The young girl started to smile as she peeked around Kasumi's fingers. "Plum visit again when older, want learn!"

"Oh my!"

"But now is no time! They have map, now Plum need go back China and try stop. Want thank honored guests for try help."

"We ain't done helping yet, we're going with ya."

"What? Why?"

"If ya think we're gonna let ya face those guys on yer own, yer crazy, besides, they got my mom! Kasumi, we'll be back as soon as we can."

"Oh my, do you really think that I am going to let you just leave me, after what almost happened last time?"

"That's exactly WHY I want ya ta stay! We're goin' ta Jusenkyo! I couldn't live with myself if ya got hurt, er a curse, er sumthin'!"

"Ranma, you cannot leave me here to worry about you, please, you must take me with you. I promise I will be useful!" Kasumi got to her knees, pleading with him.

"That's not th' problem, I don't care if ya never do nuthin' fer me again, I just don't want ya ta get hurt!"

"Did I not help you the other day?"

"Well yeah, but..." Seeing the hurt look in her eyes, any further protest got caught in his throat. "...how're we gonna get there?"

"Plum have boat, we go soon as ready."

Having heard Shampoo read the note on the tape, Kasumi started looking around Nodoka's room as everyone else went to pack.

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"Ya sure ya don't want ta come with us, Granny?"

"No, Son-in-Law, I already arranged my own transportation, but feel free to contact us if you need us when you get there."

"Sure thing."

"Shampoo wonder why Kasumi-nee-chan bring so many bag."

Looking embarrassed, she tried to explain her actions. "Well, for starters, I thought it might be a long trip, so I packed some food, and-..."

Not wanting to wait for her to list everything she brought while his mother was potentially in danger, or whatever happened that got her on the bird-people's side. "That's our Kasumi for ya! Always planning ahead!"

"So, still bothered by Onee-san coming?"

"Well yeah, I mean 'no', but..." Ranma started to worry about the danger they were facing as they set off to sea, and swearing to himself that he would do anything to keep her safe!

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They had been unable to find too many options for transportation that would make it into the mountains when they arrived at the port near Lianyungang, however they had managed to find a covered cart pulled by a bicycle that they could use. It might have been quicker if he ran, but with Kasumi and Plum with them, that would not be an option, there was only so much he could carry without a harness or pack, and he did not want to place them in a bag.

To make better time, Ranma and Ryu had taken turns, alternating between peddling the bike and resting in the carriage. Having just passed through the most recent mountain village, Plum opted to ride in the basket, as they made their way up the next incline. "We gettin' close yet?"

"Is soon, only seven mountain away now!"

With renewed determination, Ranma increased his speed, rocketing up the side, forging a new path as he went.

"Hey! Everything okay out there?" Ryu poked his head out through the curtain.

"Yeah, just speeding up, we're gettin' closer!"

"I suppose I will just have to serve the tea later then."

"Sorry Aisai, ya want me ta slow it down?"

Poking her head out, Kasumi smiled as she took in the scenery flying passed them. "Oh my, do not worry about me, Darling, I am fine. It certainly is just lovely out here is it not? Thank you for guiding us, Plum, you are just so helpful!"

From the front of the bicycle, no one could see the young girl blushing, as she beamed with pride. "You welcome, is Plum pleasure help honored guest!"

"I am positive that your father will be very proud of you."

Plum's mood tumbled as she looked toward the mountain range. "Father ...hope is okay."

"Oh, I am sorry my dear." Kasumi felt badly about reminding the child of her problems and wanted to do something to help raise her spirits. "Anata, do you see that steam beyond the next peak?"

"Yeah, ya think somethin's up?"

"Oh my, I certainly hope not. I was just thinking that it looked like a nice place to stop for lunch."

"As ya wish." Ranma adjusted their path to head toward where Kasumi had indicated.

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As they started to get closer, they saw signs indicating an outdoor hot-spring, and they got excited about the prospects of having a hot bath after their lunch. Even as they stopped and enjoyed the meal Kasumi crafted from their rations, a heavy feeling of foreboding loomed over them. Upon closer inspection, the onsen seemed to have taken some damage recently, the ground was even split open in places.

"Oh my, do you think there was a recent earthquake, or something?"

"We didn't feel it, so it wasn't that recent, one big enough to do this much damage we would have felt it pretty far off." Ryu continued to look around thoughtfully.

Ranma inspected the closest opening in the ground. "Yeah, and this don't really look exactly 'natural'."

"I agree, it looks like the start of this crack was cut by something over here."

Following the trail of damage, they came across a dented tool locker noticeably shaking. It was precariously perched and as they approached, it toppled over, spilling out a fellow holding a scrub-brush. "Aiyaa!"

"Oh my!"

"Is okay? What happen here, mister employee-type-person?"

"Attacked ...Hot-Spring Demon." The staff member collapsed as they heard a scream from further ahead of them.

"Oh my..."

"Let's go!" Ranma took the lead as they ran toward the commotion, with Kasumi trying to follow close behind. "I guess we're in for quick work-out before the real fight."

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The sound of metal scraping was heard through the steam of the baths shortly before a chunk of the mountain that served as a wall to keep the bathing area private came tumbling down on a path determined to crush them all. Ranma and Ryu jumped in front of the others, each unleashing a pair of vacuum blades, which intersected with the boulder, chopping it into many smaller pieces that fell into the spring, splashing those in front with hot water. Thinking he saw something moving out of the corner of his eye, Ranma caught one of the falling rocks and tossed it into the pool.

In response, an enormous form burst up from below and towered over them, surprising everyone. "What is that?"

"A giant lobster?" Everyone took up a defensive posture only to have the 'beast' splash down into the warm water, unmoving.

"Aiyaa! Is rubber made?" Shampoo stared with wide eyes.

"Is just toy!" Plum followed the others over to poke the oversized flotation device when they heard the familiar sound of scraping metal again.

Jumping into the air, Ranma slammed his hands together, catching a metallic ring with small flame decorations on the sides between them. While he was able to stop the spinning blade, the momentum still carried him crashing back into another boulder, shattering it into rubble before it flew from his hands and arced back in the other direction. "Ooooof!"

"RANMA!"

"AIREN!"

Kasumi and Shampoo both started to run over to him, but stopped as he held up his hand and climbed to his feet. "Who's out there?"

Haughty laughter cut through the steam almost as sharply as the flying ring had, and the small form of a young boy dressed in royal raiments stood before them stepping out of the vapor holding a metal staff with a familiar ring on top, as well as a bucket-full of bathing supplies. "FOOLS! Those who use this hot spring without my express consent are not long for this world!"

"What's that?"

"A kid?"

"HA!" Swinging his arm in a wide arc, he flung the circlet at them again.

"You mean, this was all YOUR doing?" Picking up one of the pieces of rubble, Ryu flung it at the ring, only to see it sliced in half by the tiny hoop.

Seeing the direction the deflected halo was heading, Ranma watched in horror as Kasumi dove to the side, grabbing Plum, and pulling her out of the way of the spinning blade, which barely missed them both with him breathing a sigh of relief. Shampoo had barely managed to draw her dao and lunge to try and deflect it in time, sending it back the way it came, however, her sword did not survive the process, half of its blade clanged to the floor. "Aiyaaa!"

"You FOOLS! Still you underestimate the power of the Kinjakan!" Using the staff to catch his projectile, the lad prepared to resume his attack when Ranma snuck up behind him, hitting his sleep spot.

"I guess this kid's the 'Hot-spring Demon' then?" Ranma grabbed the 'Kinjakan' before looking back to make certain no one else had gotten hurt.

Before anyone had noticed, Kasumi had the child bound in a leather harness and left him tied to a tree, while making certain he was not 'hanging'. She did not want to go against the sign telling them not to hang anything from it after all. As she finished, she turned to see everyone staring at her with wide eyes.

"Kasumi, um, where did ya get that thing?" Ranma could not believe that she even owned such a thing, let along bringing it with them.

"That? Oh, it was one of the new 'toys' your mother gave me and I thought that it might come in handy. Now, did everyone get enough to eat, or are we ready to take our bath?" Her peaceful smile was in great contrast to the scene out of a bondage adult video behind her.

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Packing their things, they noticed that the 'hot-spring demon' was regaining consciousness, and protesting his predicament. "Let me out of this! I would rather die that endure this humiliation!"

"Be glad we didn't go find yer parents, Kid."

"Now, now, naughty little boys deserve to be punished." Kasumi leaned closely to him, tapping his forehead with her index finger, and uttering a condemning 'meh'. "There, was that so bad?"

"Kasumi, I think ya might not be being strict enough, considering what almost happened."

"Oh? Do you think?"

"I have to agree, people could have died."

"You too, Ryu-chan?"

"'-Chan'?" The taller young man turned away in confusion.

"Oh my, perhaps you are correct, I will try to do better in the future." 'After all, I might be a co-mother soon.' She blushed at the thought.

"It's okay, yer perfect th' way ya are."

"Oh, Anata, that's, so sweet." Kasumi sniffed as she turned away to dry her eye.

Shampoo wanted to support her 'sister', yet she felt a bit out of the loop, and ran over to Ranma, seeking attention. "What about Shampoo, is too too good too, yes?"

"Eh, nobody's perfect." Ranma patted her on the shoulder, trying to be reassuring.

"But, just said..." Shampoo's mood dropped as she felt a bit like a third wheel. "Sorry is just in way."

"Huh? What're ya talkin' about? Who said that?"

"Sorry, can no be Kasumi-nee-chan." Her cute little pout made him want to reach out and hug the shorter girl.

"Good, one Kasumi's all I need." Turning away, her lavender locks fell into her face. "Who'd want ya ta be someone else anyway? I like ya just fine th' way ya are."

"Is true? Ranma no lie?" She looked back, gazing into his eyes with a hopeful expression.

"A' course! I always liked ya ...once ya stopped tryin' ta kill me." Ranma chuckled at the obviousness of it.

"Shampoo is sorry, wish could do over..." Her regretful face looked as though she could break into tears at any moment.

"Hey, don't worry about it, just about everybody I know's tried ta kill me at least once! Just, ya know, don't do it again too often, okay?"

"SHAMPOO PROMISE! Never want hurt Airen again!" There was still a hint of doubt, but she stomped it down into the back on her mind like she always did, preferring to focus on the positive aspects of her life. Lunging forward, she glomped onto his waist, purring as she rubbed her cheek against his chest.

Without thinking, Ranma patted her head, but it was the scratching behind her ear that caused her cooing to get louder. "Don't worry about it, okay? Now, come on, we got ta get goin', I'm worried about Mom."

"Father too. Still take more than day get Phoenix Mountain at rate going."

"Wait!" The young boy spoke up, somewhat more calm than before. "You said you are going to Mount Phoenix?"

"Yeah, what of it?"

"If we use Kinjakan, we can be there before evening."

"Welcome ta th' team, Kid!"

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"We is here!" Plum tried to see the top of the tall peak, but the clouds blocked her view.

"So this is Phoenix Mountain, eh?" Ranma looked at the decorative arch around the convenient stairs leading into the mountain, and whistled.

"This is the entrance to the inner halls." The lad pointed toward the stairs with a smile.

"You were a big help kid, Thanks." Ranma waved as Kasumi bowed.

"Yes, thank you, we really appreciate it."

"Let's go gang!" Pausing as they entered the stairwell, Ranma turned back for a moment. "Hey! Careful on yer way home, okay?"

"Please, try not to hurt anyone else!" After waving, Kasumi remained at the rear of the group, absently wondering how Ranma could manage such a large backpack, as he had most of their equipment and supplies, very little of which had been divvied up into the other packs, leaving almost nothing for her own.

They had barely started moving again as the kid slammed his staff down upon a rock, and the stairs fell out from under them. "I AM home, you fools!"

"WHAAAA...!" Ranma turned in mid air, grabbing everyone however he could, hoping to cushion the landing for anyone who was not used to long falls, only they were not actually falling. Looking around he saw why, Kasumi of all people was holding onto a whip that had wrapped itself around the Kinjakan!

In a strained voice, Kasumi gasped as she implored her lover for aid. "Ranma, Anata, please, I cannot hold this much!"

Realizing the problem, Ranma threw Shampoo and Ryu up toward the top of the hole before grabbing the whip with his now free arm. "It's okay, ya can let go now."

"Oh, thank you, it felt like my arm was going to rip off!" Kasumi's heavy breathing in his ear sent shivers down Ranma's spine, but he managed to keep a grip on their lifeline.

Just before the surprised pair reached the top of the hole, they collided with Masara and Koruma who were flying down the stairs to see what had set off the entrance trap! As they tumbled back down, they managed to grab onto Ranma's backpack and legs. The sudden additional weight and force caused the small boy at the top of the opening to loose his balance, and start to fall.

"If we're goin', yer comin' with us!" Ranma yanked on the whip, making the boy tumble toward them faster and he managed to grab the Kinjakan.

"KIIMA! HELP!"

"Immediately!" The captain of the royal guard flew down and caught the youth by his waist, before she realized who else was there with him. "Wait! What are you fools doing here?"

"Oh my! How rude."

"Kiima! How NICE a' ya ta come ta us! This makes things easier." Ranma started winding the whip around his hand to bring them closer to the ones holding them aloft.

"Masara! Koruma! Execute them!"

"Yes, Captain!" The duo flew over, each kicking at one side of the pole and causing the youngster to lose his grip upon it. Laughing as they watched the team falling, they called out taunts, until the youngest of them smacked the duo on their heads.

"YOU IDIOTS! You allowed them to take possession of the Kinjakan!"

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Rebounding off of the walls, they managed to land safely at the bottom, but climbing back up looked to be a challenge, especially if he had to carry almost everyone and he did not want to have to make several trips. "Hey, Shampoo, ya know that breaking point technique, right?"

"Is true. Is good for clear rubble."

"Ya think ya can use it ta dig us a tunnel back up ta th' surface?"

"If Airen want, Shampoo do!" Always happy to prove herself to her paramour, the young warrior bounced over to the far wall, and focused her ki.

"Hey, stay back guys, ya don't want ta be in th' way when that wall explodes."

"Explodes! What do you mean?"

"Just get behind me an' watch."

"Bakusai Tenketsu!" As Shampoo's finger poked the stone wall, Ranma's hands blurred into motion, collecting any shrapnel that might hit one of the others he was protecting.

"Whoa! I've never seen anything like that!"

"Was develop for construction, for ones what work in quarry." Shampoo kept 'digging', but her voice echoed back to where the others were giving her space to avoid getting pelted with gravel.

"Is it hard to learn?"

"Depend on how look at..."

"Yeah, apparently ya got ta beat yer head against a rock until ya figure it out."

"Is close, if want most help from training."

"Ya mean, there's another way?"

"Well, is only one way find break point. Ranma want learn?"

"Yer okay ta teach me?"

"Now agree be with Shampoo, can teach any technique want, is husband, is real member of tribe!" As Ranma caught up to her, she lowered her voice so that it would not carry as far. "Smash against rock is for toughen body, so no get hurt when use technique, no is too too need if already strong. Is also, how say, 'incentive' learn fast? Violent-One make sure Airen tough enough already."

"Yeah, no kidding!"

"Just use qi sense, focus on rock, look for point what stand out. Should be too too easy for Airen."

Closing his eyes, Ranma reached out with his senses, and noticed something he was not intending. "Crap! This is gonna have ta wait a bit..." Ranma ran back down their woman-made tunnel, passing the others, and started barking out orders. "Watch out, those jerks're comin'. Get closer ta Shampoo, Ryu, protect th' girls. I'll handle this."

"I hear voices!"

"We're getting closer, Koruma!"

Not wanting to risk the non-combatants getting hurt by a surprise attack from behind, Ranma gathered his aura into his hands, waiting until he could see the light of their lantern before he fired off his attack. "Mouko Takabisha!" The golden light of his ki fired into the tunnel, instantly brightening the entire area as the crackle of energy crashed into anything in its path.

"OW! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"

"My feathers!"

"Who did that?"

"Come an' find out! I'll teach ya ta try an' sneak up behind someone!"

"I never learned any stealth techniques. How about you, Koruma?"

"Well, we could use the lesson..."

As they came around the corner, an exasperated Ranma tried to mimic the way he saw the previous owner of the Kinjakan launch the ring. Somewhat to his own surprise, it worked, ricocheting off of everything it hit, and sending chunks of stone flying with each strike. "Take that!"

The bird-men panicked at the unexpected attack, trying to dodge the halo of death as it rebounded around the small section of tunnel. Ranma's ego grew as he gloated at the terrified twosome's terrible dancing, that was until trajectory of the circlet angled back toward him and threatened continue back up the tunnel toward the others. "Shimatta!"

Jumping with all of his speed, he tried to intercept it, blocking with the staff section, hoping that it would be strong enough to withstand the spinning blade. Much to his surprise, instead of striking the pole, it flew around it and reattached itself, becoming one again! "Whoa!" Seeing the two climbing out from under the rubble, Ranma had a moment of clarity. His mind's eye focused on a certain point in the wall, and he absently tapped it with the staff as he ran back toward the others, just before it exploded, caving-in most of the area behind him. There was still enough room for air to get through, but not much else.

Catching up to the others, he handed Shampoo the Kinjakan, and remembering what Kasumi had told him, gave her a kiss on the cheek to thank her for her hard work. "Here, why don't ya take a rest, I'll take over for a while."

She turned to face him with a surprised expression on her dirty features. "Aiyaaa! Is true? Airen learn already?"

"Yeah, I think I got it figured out, an' ya look like ya could use a break."

"Wo ai ni! Shampoo make sure reward Airen later." She hung back for a moment to watch as Ranma gathered his aura before using his inhuman speeds to begin carving out more of the tunnel far faster than she was able. She watched him in awe for a time, she had never been able to focus well enough to use both hands, let alone proceed at that pace.

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After reaching the outside world, Ranma retrieved the Kinjakan as they made a new opening to bypass the trapped section of stairs. Once everyone was rested, Ranma and Ryu led the way inside, make short work of any guards unfortunate enough to get in their way, while Shampoo guarded their rear, keeping Kasumi and Plum safe and knocking out any of the guards who were still moving by the time they passed her. Kasumi had once again surprised everyone by using her whip to help disarm many of the guards they passed, while tying up several others with a speed and familiarity that none of them could have anticipated.

Upon noting it, Ryu slyly grinned and whispered to Ranma, "And you said I was the one who got the troublesome sister! You might need to watch your own back."

Glancing over, he could barely believe his eyes, at the skill his fiancee was displaying, that was not anything HE had taught her! After ducking a bladed polearm, he shrugged. "Could be worse, neither a' us got th' real 'troublesome' sister, believe me!"

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Having just finished serving dinner, Mousse sat down to the table, still somewhat concerned that Nodoka had not returned recently, despite having said that she planned to be around to start helping him more often than not. He had searched almost everywhere he could think of while he was out doing the shopping, but had not seen a trace of her. The only places he had not searched, were the two places that he did NOT want to go, but if she were there, then everything had to be fine. What bothered him the most was that not only was no one else upset about her being missing, one in particular seemed actually happy about it!

"Itadakimasu!"

As he sat there, fuming about the lack of empathy being shown by the household, he was startled by Akane's sudden sneeze. "Are you feeling all right? Would you like me to prepare your hot bath?"

"No, I'm fine. Someone's probably talking about me, I'll bet it's Ranma, that jerk!"

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"Halt!"

"None shall pass!"

Upon crashing through the numerous guards, they came to a huge set of ornate double doors which opened onto a skybridge so far into said 'sky' that they could not see the ground for the clouds blow them. The various buildings attached to the sides of the mountain peaks were beautifully constructed, but only Kasumi paid them any attention. Being designed for the bird-people though, many of them had no pathway to them, so without the ability to fly, there was no easy way to see them more closely.

As they knocked out the last of the sentinels, they spotted Kiima approaching, shocked by their boisterous entrance. "Shouldn't you be dead?"

"We got better!" Ranma took one step forward, and planted the Kinjakan at his feet in a defiant stance. "Kiima, just th' bird I wanted ta see. Now, hand over my mother an' th' map, an' I won't have ta get mad!"

"Arrogant fool! Your bravado accomplishes nothing, Landling! All you do is save me the trouble of hunting you down!" Pulling back her wings, she jumped into the air to get a better angle to launch her attack. "One Thousand Wings of the Seabird!"

Seeing her start with one of her most powerful attacks, Ranma played to his hunch, and used the Kinjakan to block the razor sharp feathers as they sliced through the nearby stone pillars. Trusting Ryu and Shampoo to dodge on their own, he positioned himself between his foe and the non-combatants. "Didn't think ya'd go all out if there was a chance it'd damage this thing."

"Well done, Landling, you do have some skill, I may have a use for you. Surrender now and hand over the Kinjakan, then I promise you will be well treated."

"Ranma Saotome doesn't know the meaning of the word surrender!" He stepped back, embarrassed by how that sounded. "...I mean, I KNOW what it means, I'm not stupid, just not in this context."

"So be it, prepare yourself!"

"Been ready." Using his left hand, he quickly fired off a number of ki blasts, forcing the flying female to flitter about, trying to dodge.

"You are ill-suited to fighting up here, you are just going to get yourself hurt!"

"I ain't th' one that's got ta worry about gettin' hurt!"

"No? Then how about your friends?" Kiima lobbed several eggs their direction, while still trying to avoid the small projectiles.

Shampoo saw one of them coming right for her, and rather than dodge and risk what it might do behind her, she batted away at it with her chui. "Aiyaaa...! What happen?" The egg shattered as it impacted with the metal sphere, sending silken threads out to ensnare her, quickly encasing her in a giant egg!

"SHAMPOO-CHAN!" Kasumi screamed as her partner was encased in trap.

"What'd ya do?" Turning in horror from his captured bride, Ranma faced the flying woman with a scowl on his handsome face.

"Oh, you will see!" Crows came from every direction, picking up the egg, and carrying it toward Kiima, as Ranma tried to swat at them. "Be careful now, you would not want them to drop your friend."

"URK! LET SHAMPOO GO, NOW!"

"If you insist." As the birds set the egg down in front of her, and she lightly cracked it open. Shampoo rose from within the egg, blinking twice as Kiima looked her in the eyes. "Go, to your friends."

"Okay, Shampoo go!" Hopping to her feet, she walked back over to stand behind Ranma.

"Yer okay?" The concern on his face was clear, and his vice was hopeful.

"Is fine."

"Thank goodness! I was worried they hurt ya." Ranma turned his attention back toward the winged woman. "Leave them out a' it! This is just between you and me!"

"Oh? Do you think so?"

"You better believe it!" He jumped forward, swinging the Kinjakan like a staff. He instantly regretted this action as the ring flew off of the end again, and went flying in every direction, taking out chunks of the bridge. "Whoops!"

Taking to the air, Kiima laughed. "The Kinjakan is a powerful weapon, but you lack experience using it!"

"Ranma! What did you do?"

"Sorry! Ryu, grab th' kid, Shampoo, grab Kasumi, I got this!" Seeing his friends jumping into action, he refocused his attention back onto the woman flying in front of him. Stretching out his arm, the hoop returned to him, reattaching to the rest. "Luckily, I'm a fast learner." Remembering how the child used it to fly them to the mountain, Ranma held onto the part of it that looked to be handlebars, and managed to ride on it as it flew toward a startled Kiima. Once in range, he swung it around using it to attack, but she dodged and landing on the side of the mountain, he flung the ring at her, and this time he caught it on the first rebound.

"You bastard!"

"Thanks, I do my best! Think I'm really gettin' th' hang a' this, an' now yer goin' down!"

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"Aiyaa...!" Ryu and Plum managed to crash through the roof of a building not far below them and they were surprised to find that it was filled with enormous eggs, much like the one that been used to capture Shampoo. At the other end of the room there was a refrigerator that, upon opening, was reveled to be filled with eggs of a more normal size. Plum threw a few dozen of the smaller eggs into her bag. "May want snack for later."

"I wonder..." Ryu walked over and tapped on one of the large eggs, cracking it open, releasing a cooing old man speaking in Chinese.

"'Master, only wish is serve. Please give command to this unworthy one.' That what man say to you." Plum walked over to them, her eyes almost as wide as the freshly 'hatched' old man.

"Oh no, do you think this is what happened to Shampoo? That would explain Ranma's mother too... We've got to find them, Kasumi-nee could be in trouble!"

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"One Thousand Wings of the Seabird!"

Ranma used the Kinjakan again to block all of the feathers that got close to him. "It don't matter if ya got a million, it won't do ya no good!"

"I only need one of them to pierce your heart!" Though instead of launching another volley, she tried to land a kick.

Ranma easily dodged around her leg, rebounding off of the mountain to change his direction again. "Yer moves're slower, ya gettin' tired already?"

Kiima had to concentrate to avoid being sliced by the spinning blade from the Kinjakan, having no time to respond. She could not believe how quickly he had mastered some of the weapon's uses, and it made her want him as a servant even more, if only he would stop evading her eggs! "Do you truly think that a Landling like yourself could match ME in areal combat?"

Grinning as he sent the blade flying into the air, he laughed in his cocky way. "Oh I don't know, I don't think I'm doin' that bad!" Before the ring could return, Ranma crossed the gap, hurling himself at his feathered foe.

"I've got you now!" Kiima drew her dao, aiming for his chest as he soared toward her. Much to her amazement, he managed to raise his feet high enough to catch her blade between them, and swung underneath her as he summoned the ring to return. As Ranma hopped back onto the Kinjakan to fly away, the side of the mountain that he had just sliced free with the return arc, came tumbling down, striking her in the back and knocking the wind out of her. "No...! I can't lose..."

"Shimatta! Thought ya were supposed ta be tough? How'm I gonna find out about Mom and the map if ya get knocked out that easily!" He did get a bit of a laugh as the coincidence as Kiima and the small avalanche appeared to bury her underlings, who seemed to have just freed themselves from their last encounter.

"So, we meet again, Landling!"

"Hey, yer that bratty kid from th' hot-spring earlier!"

An old bird-man, dressed in robes almost as fancy as the kid, stood beside him and while leaning over the railing, angrily yelled down to Ranma. "How DARE an impudent churl speak in such a manner to Lord Saffron? Such an insult to the throne of Mount Phoenix warrants death!"

"Calm yourself, old man." Turning his attention back below, the prince's voice grew louder. "You! Tell me your name!"

"Humph. I am Ranma Saotome, of the 'RANMA' Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts!"

"So then, Ranma, look at this!" Turning his head to the side, he called out to someone. "Come here." Nodoka walked over to stand beside the young monarch. "Now, listen carefully, you will had over the Kinjakan to me and you get to take this woman. Is that simple enough for you to understand, Landling?" As Saffron lowered his gaze, he was surprised to be unable to locate the annoying young man.

"MOM!" Before anyone realized it, Ranma had placed himself between his mother and the others. "Come on, Mom, we're gettin' ya out ta here." The feeling of the blade almost penetrating his shoulder did not hurt nearly as much as the feeling of betrayal as the woman he had come to know attempted to literally stab him in the back. Luckily for him, she was no kendoist, and it was only the surprise of the attack from the unexpected place that allowed it to even scratch his flesh.

As he jumped away, he saw the empty look in his mother's eyes, despite the expression of rage on her face. "Mom! What're ya doin'?"

She advanced toward him while still brandishing the family blade, as Saffron's haughty laughter pierced the air. "I must protect the prince!"

"Why ya helpin' that jerk against yer own son?"

"My ...son?" She hesitated for a moment as the word struck something within her, but it was not to last.

Ranma dodged the clumsy attacks, not wanting to harm her in any way. "Come on, don't ya remember?"

"Your mother is under our control, if you want-..."

"Ranma!" Everyone turned to see Ryu and Plum standing on top of a building quite a ways below them. "I think we got a problem!"

"No kiddin'?"

"I think they got Shampoo and Kasumi-nee!"

"WHAT? KUSO!" Knocking the katana out of his mother's hands and into the wall, he ran over to grab Saffron by the shirt while ignoring Nodoka's fists as they pounded into his back. "Where? Where are they?"

Before anyone was able to respond, the flapping of feathers was heard, and the now familiar voice of the captain of the guard called out her now well-known attack. "Thousand Wings of the Seabird!"

Ranma had to jump back to block the ki-filled feathers while spinning his borrowed weapon to prevent anyone else from taking damage. "Back so soon?"

"Sooner than you will be! Come to me!" Dozens of guards, and hundred of birds flocked to her before looming forward.

As Ryu managed to make it to his side, Ranma found their backs against a door, and kicking it open, he pushed them into the room. "Come an' get me!" Before too many had made more than a few steps forward, he let the blade of the Kinjakan fly, causing most of them to duck. Grabbing his mother, he ran back, slamming the doors behind him.

"We found map!" Plum called out in an excited tone.

After throwing everything in reach in front of the doors, Ranma found that he had to restrain Nodoka, to keep her from either trying to unblock the entryway, or trying to pound on his head. "What's this about Kasumi and Shampoo?"

"Is call, Imprinting Egg, one what get caught in egg, become slave to first person what see when hatch."

"I assume your mother here was the first victim, and we think Shampoo as well."

"Well, how do we cure it?"

"No know, instruction book no say."

"Book?"

"Fall in egg room, book was on fridge." Plum opened her backpack to show Ranma what she had collected. "No is good for eating though." As she cracked one of them open, strings poured onto the floor.

"Hey, I got an idea, let me see one a' those." As the girl offered another one to him, he gently tossed his mother onto the large bed near them.

"Oh, now this IS manly, I did not know you needed your mother's instruction that badly!"

Not waiting to see what she had in mind, Ranma tossed one of the eggs, hitting Nodoka in the chest, completely enveloping her in one of the larger ones. "Okay, let me see." After thinking for a moment, he finally found what he was seeking, and as he cracked open the egg, he held up a small hand mirror.

"Aiyaa... That make sense!"

"I feel ...like myself. What happened?"

At that moment, the doors started to budge. "No time fer that now! Everybody, get behind me!" As they breached the room, Ranma stood defiant, holding out the staff. "Ya want this thing? Come and take it!"

"Insolent wretch!"

"Humm..." Holding up his hand, Saffron stepped forward as everyone tensed, but instead of attacking outright, he simple pulled on a rope ...opening a trap door below them, sending the four of them tumbling into the darkness.

As their confused protests faded from earshot, Kiima could not help but question her leader. "Lord Saffron, we had them cornered, why did you spring the trap?"

"That landling said something that piqued my curiosity, you have captured the two women who were in their group?" Seeing Kiima nod, he grinned. "Then I have another idea that will be much easier."

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Ranma managed to catch the others before using the Kinjakan to slow their fall enough to keep anyone from getting hurt, and trying to calm himself as he considered what to do next. Once they had reached the bottom, finding their way out of the pit proved to be another tedious challenge.

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Kasumi sat in a small, yet ornate room, wondering why Shampoo had brought her there. "Are you certain that this is what Ranma wanted us to do?"

"Say keep safe. Is safe."

Something did not feel right about that to her, but Kasumi did not like the idea of doubting anyone, let alone her own 'family', and she could not fault her logic, so she relaxed a bit. "If you say it is so."

"'It is so'."

"I did not mean... Oh never mind, would you like some tea?" Kasumi started to dig into her backpack, looking for her portable tea set.

"No is time."

"Oh, where are we going next?"

"No sure, is wait for order."

Kasumi tensed-up as the door opened, though she relaxed a little bit as she saw Shampoo draw her weapons.

"Who there?"

"No need to worry, it is just me."

Seeing Shampoo relax at Kiima's voice, set-off alarms in Kasumi's head, and she started to panic. As the bird-woman walked into the room, she walked straight passed Shampoo, and right toward her!

"Good job, Slave."

"Shampoo thank Lady Kiima!"

"I have need of you."

Kasumi flinched, not wanting anything to do with the winged woman. "Oh? I am not certain that is a good idea..."

"You do not have a choice! You are coming with me, NOW!"

As the woman lunged foreword to grab her, Kasumi remembered what Ranma taught her and spun her body as she lowered her center of gravity, dropping out of reach. However, when she tried to run, Shampoo blocked the doorway, preventing her escape. "How, how could you?"

"Is follow order."

Looking into Shampoo's empty eyes, she saw a small tear form. "Shampoo-chan...?"

"If you cease this pointless struggling, I promise that I will not harm you."

"Are you going to do 'that' to me too?"

"Not unless you fight me."

Afraid about being made to fight her family as well, she gave up resistance, and allowed herself to be carried off in the other woman's talons.

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"Here we are, the ancient pools of Jusenkyo, and this will be 'your' spring." Kiima hovered over one of the small bodies of water.

"Oh no, Dana-sama will be ever so cross with me for getting a curse after being warned."

"It is okay." Kiima chuckled as she let go of Kasumi, allowing her to drop into the pool with a splash. "You will not have to worry about that."

Kasumi felt the cold water enveloping her body as the world went dark, her only thoughts were hoping that the others would be all right.

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We are almost there, what happened to Kasumi, where are the others, how will things go as they confront Saffron? Come back next time and find out when we bring you, 'Ain't No Time to Wonder Why', or 'Whoopee! We're All Gonna Die!'


	52. Chapter 52

Sorry this took so long, there have been a lot of rewrites, and additional material, enough so that I have added another chapter, so there is that. While it is taking longer, I think that it is cute, and worth the effort.

Disclaimer: Semen contains zinc and calcium, both are known to help prevent tooth decay...

Chapter 52 - Nest Egg

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Once they finally found themselves outside, Ranma decided they needed to get Plum and his Mother to safety, then he would go back to get the others, even if he had to take down the entire mountain to do it! "Pretty sure there's a hotel not too far down that road."

"THAT road? Wasn't that town about two kilometers back?"

"Ya know a closer one?"

"Well, no, but-..."

"Then let's get goin', I don't want ta make th' girls wait any longer then I got ta!"

"How manly of you!"

Shaking his head, Ranma grinned and nodded for everyone to climb into the carriage. "Glad ta have ya back, Mom." After watching them climb on board, he strapped the bicycle onto the back with the luggage, and hooked their cart up to the Kinjakan instead. "Hang on, this thing really moves!"

A few hills down the road, Ranma thought he spotted someone laying in the road. "Huh? It's a person!" The closer he got, the easier it was to make out details about the person. "KASUMI!"

Pulling up beside her, Ranma ran over, lifted her unconscious body into her arms. "How did you get out here? What happened?" After making certain she was not badly injured, he carefully loaded her into the covered wagon with the others before continuing on their way.

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Once they had arrived at the hotel and settled into their rooms, they gathered to question Kasumi about her experience. "I am not exactly sure how I got there, I managed to escape, but ...Shampoo."

"Yeah, we know..." Ranma looked saddened, but he gathered his resolve. "How'd ya feel? Does it hurt anywhere?"

"No, no, I am fine."

"I am very glad you are safe, my dear." Nodoka saw the way the young woman kept looking at her son while glancing at the rest of them, and it was obvious to her that she wanted some 'alone time' with him. "Ryu-kun, Plum-chan was it? Would the two of you mind helping me find some food, I feel as though I have not eaten in days!"

"No! I- I mean..." Ryu could not help but be reminded of the last time he was alone with the Saotome matriarch, and he was not eager to repeat the experience.

"Come now, what if something happens out there, I may need a big, strong bodyguard to 'protect' me, besides, are you not 'hungry' as well?"

"Not really, but I-..." His rebellious stomach took that opportune moment to growl in protest. "Well, we HAVE been pretty active..."

"Plum is hungry too."

"Good, now do not worry, I will bring plenty back for the both of you as well, so feel free to take your time and ...'talk' as long as you need!" Nodoka grinned as she led her 'helpers' out of the room, in search of the nearest restaurant, the heavy door locking behind them as they left.

Ranma sighed as he turned back to face the only person left in the room with a sad expression on his handsome features. "I knew it was a bad idea ta let ya come..."

"Do you really not want me around that badly?" She pouted as she gazed longingly into his eyes.

"WHAT? A' course not! I just-..."

She started to sniffle as she turned away from him. "Would you would rather be with Shampoo, or is there someone else?"

"NO! I just don't want ya ta get hurt! I lo-love you, Kasumi! If anything happened ta ya, I- I'd make every last one a' them bird bastards pay!" His aura flared at his outrage.

"RANMA!" The look of horror on her face spoke volumes. "How, how could you?"

"If ya want ta stop me, then stay here with Mom an' Plum, an' don't get hurt. Yer th' most important thing ta me, an' anyone who hurts ya'll regret the day they ever laid a finger on ya! Now, I just got ta go back an' get Shampoo-chan, and we can get you out a' here!"

"But, how?" She glanced at him with genuine confusion on her face.

"Don't worry, we freed Mom, an' we'll save Shampoo too!"

"Oh Ranma, you are so brave! Before you go, I want, I want to 'be' with you, please?"

"I, uh, I mean, now?"

"Do not worry, while still under the mind control, they were at least treating Shampoo well, and safe. We have time..."

"But...?" Ranma looked around, wondering why this felt so 'wrong'.

"What is it Ranma, don't you want me?"

"Well, a' course, but-..." Ranma's eyes widened as she slowly started removing her clothing... "Are ya sure?"

She nodded as she dropped her panties onto the floor and began removing Ranma's shirt. "Why don't you put that thing down?"

Nodding, Ranma slid the Kinjakan under the mattress, so that he could give her is full attention. "Okay, if ya want me ta use both hands, then don't say I didn't warn ya."

Watching him closely, she slowly turned back to him. "Ooooh Ranma, yes!" As she removed his boxers, her eyes bugged out for a moment, as his member came into view, but she did not hesitate as she massaged him with her fingers and moved to seek out his lips with her own. "Soon..."

They wrestled a bit, each one trying to exert dominance while playing with the other, but she was completely out matched and was soon on her back with Ranma's head locked between her legs. "Oh ...YES!"

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"Oh hey, look Masara, this girl's awake."

"Oh my, oh my, oh my..."

"Yeah?" Masara carried over a small tray of food, sliding it through the bars. "Hey lady, here is your meal."

"Oh my, oh my, oh my..."

"Hey, stop that, you're giving me a headache."

"Oh my! What will I do? What will I do?"

"Just shut-up and eat!"

Just as Masara was about to poke her with a bamboo pole, her guardian stepped in between them, breaking the staff. "Hurt Kasumi and Shampoo kill!"

"Hey!"

"Yeah, I thought you were supposed to be on our side!"

"Lady Kiima want use girl for when Ranma come back, order Shampoo keep Kasumi safe, so if harm, then die!"

"Don't you mean IF that guy comes back?"

"Yeah, the odds aren't very high."

"No, Shampoo mean 'when'. Ranma be back, is certain. Should be careful."

"How do you know?"

"Captain Kiima went out there personally!"

"No matter, Shampoo know. Ranma always come. Lady Kiima no stand chance." A small tear threatened to form in the corner of her eye as she glanced at the taller woman, sitting behind the bars, looking fetching, even in the simple 'long-shirt' they had given her to wear. "Especially if Onee-chan in trouble."

"You don't know how 'persuasive' our captain can be!"

"Especially if use Onee-chan form, Lady Kiima no can win."

"That's not possible!"

"Is true. No can win against Airen."

"What do you think Koruma? Should we go check?"

"Do you remember the LAST time we interrupted the captain during one of these 'missions'?"

"Yeah, I don't want to go either!"

"Shampoo-chan. Talk to me, what is wrong with you?"

"Soon, Ranma come, and Shampoo go fight." Her voice showed great determination, but her eyes were quite sad.

"What? Why would you do that?"

"Because that woman is our slave!"

"Tell them, Koruma!"

"Our 'Imprinting Eggs' turn anyone into a willing servant, who will do 'anything' for their master!"

Kasumi pleaded with them, putting as much empathy into her voice as she was able, hoping she could have an effect. "Please! Look into Shampoo-chan's eyes, tell me, does that look 'willing' to you? How would you feel if you were forced to fight your lover?"

"I-..."

"Well, it isn't like we have..."

"What if someone made you kill your captain, or your family? Would you be happy about that?"

"No!"

"Why would you think that?"

"That is exactly what you are doing to poor Shampoo-chan here."

"Oh, yeah..."

"I guess you're right."

"It's not like we can do anything about it!"

"Yeah! We're just following orders!"

"How can we release someone then?"

"You can't!"

"We have never heard of anyone being freed!"

"Well then, how about you tell us exactly what is going on here."

"Okay, you see..."

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"Oh, oh, oh, Ranma! You are amazing!"

"Ya ain't too bad yerself." Ranma gave her one of his trademark cocky grins.

"It's like you know every part of me."

"I do." Ranma ramped up the speed of his movements, penetrating her cervix, while using his finger where he usually found a toy.

"Ooooo... So deep! I've never felt anything like this in my life!"

"Never?"

"Well, not since, um ...last time?" While barely able to move, she still managed to seal his mouth with her own, preventing any further protest.

Ranma was having trouble figuring out what was happening, and he was worried that she might have also have been 'imprinted'. They still had plenty of the eggs left if that was needed, but she really did not seem to be acting that way from what he had been told and his admittedly limited experience with them. For now, the foremost thing that concerned him, was making certain that 'Kasumi' felt even better, for he felt as though they had just gotten started. However, before he knew it, she had broken off the kiss muttering "Wo ai ni" before she completely stopped moving.

At first Ranma was worried, but after making certain that she was still breathing, he assumed that she was just exhausted from her ordeal, and quickly finished then proceeded to help clean her up before the others returned. As he carried her into the furo, he noted with some amusement the sloppy look on the typically prim and proper young woman, and it almost made him want to take her again, but he knew he had already taken far too much time. No matter how 'safe' Shampoo was for the time being, he needed rescue her soon.

Once he had finished scrubbing her clean with the cool water, he gently hefted her into the bath, reversing his curse again as the feathers brushed against his arms as her aura changed. Jumping out of the tub, Ranma fell back and scooted across the floor before he managed to regain his feet and take up a defensive stance. "KIIMA! What the HELL's goin' on?"

"Mmmmmmaster, good morning."

"KIIMA? What is goin' on here? Yer gonna pay fer hurting Kasumi!" Ranma aura started to build at a rapid rate.

The winged woman was suddenly aware of the displeasure radiating around the room, breaking her out of her euphoria. "I didn't! Your girlfriend is safe! Both of them are! I swear to you!"

"Then release them!"

"As you wish, Master!" Getting out of the bath, she crawled closer to him as she prostrated herself before him.

"That's better! ...Wait, what? Why ya bein' so nice all of a sudden?"

"Why would I not be nice to someone who can make me feel like THAT, Master?" She wrapped her arms around his calves, getting closer with every moment.

"Yeah, but, but, what about that prince guy?"

"Saffron is my liege, but you are my 'master'." Kiima kept trying to snuggle closer to Ranma, as he continued to slowly back away from her until his back was against the wall.

"What th' hell're ya talkin' about? So, ya'll give th' girls back, unharmed, an' won't destroy Jusenkyo before we can get cures?"

"I will do anything you ask, Master, but we never intended to destroy Jusenkyo, we just need to borrow its power for a few days."

"WHAT? Ya mean ta tell me that th' springs were never in any danger?"

"Of course not! At a certain age, Lord Saffron needs to go into a cocoon, in order to reach full adulthood, and gain full control over the enormous power that entails. If not, our lord cannot regulate that power, and provide energy and heat to all of our people. For Lord Saffron's egg to properly incubate, we need to turn off the cold water to Jusenkyo, and use the hot water to fill our magical hot-spring. The whole process only takes about half a week. What else do you wish to know, master?"

"Why didn't ya just ask?"

"Why ask for what is ours?"

"If ya'd've just talked this out, instead of trying ta attack that Plum kid, we wouldn't be in this mess!"

"Perhaps, but then I never would have gotten to know you either ...Master. I would not wish to change this for anything!"

"But, I-..." They heard the door open, and Ranma realized that he had allowed himself to be distracted, completely missing the others approaching. "Oh no..."

The door to the furo opened with his mother looming in the doorway, looking absolutely shocked by the scene before her. "Ranma! What's going on here? Have you added another girl to your harem during all of this? How manly!"

"Whoa! I think I should I mention this to 'Biki-chan when we get back..."

"NO! I ain't! It ain't like that!" Ranma started to panic, but could not slip free of the feathered woman's iron grip on his groin.

"Really? Is that an option?" Kiima suddenly looked interested.

"NO!" Ranma tried to calm himself as he steadied his breathing. "I'm sorry, I mean, I got Kasumi an' Shampoo! How many girls can I marry?"

Kiima squeezed his arm even more tightly. "If you stay here with us, as many as you like."

"I like the way you think, my dear!"

"Urk! I- I mean, I got ta get back ta Japan when we're done here, so ya see..."

"Where Kasumi?" Plum's wide eyes took in everything and asked what no one else had.

"Give us a second ta get dressed, an' we'll explain everything."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

True to her word, Kiima led them passed all of the traps, and straight to where the prisoners were being held, though she had kept her arm linked with Ranma's, and her wings wrapped around him the whole time he was not riding the Kinjakan. The reactions of the of those present varied, though most of them were elated, Shampoo was far more reserved, and while she felt vindicated at Ranma's arrival, his closeness to her 'Lady Kiima' made her feel ...unpleasant, as if a demon were gnawing at her heart. Taking a defensive posture, she carefully took in everyone's positions, and wondered what she would do if a fight broke out.

"There they are!"

"We told you that Captain Kiima would not fail!"

"Does it look that way to you?" Kasumi raised an eyebrow at that.

"Of course, they even have the Kinjakan!"

"Who has it?"

"Well, your landling boyfriend, but can't you see how the guy is being held captive by the captain?"

"Are you certain?"

"What else could it be?"

Shampoo found herself moving toward the group of intruders, a grim resolve in her eyes. "Ranma is here for Kasumi, yes?"

"A' course, I wouldn't keep ya waitin'!" Tilting his head, he gave a lopsided grin, trying to lessen the offense of his tardiness.

"Then Shampoo must stop!" Small tears formed in her eyes as she leaped forward, chui in hand, her attacks aimed for his head.

As Ranma blocked with the Kinjakan, everyone else jumped back in surprise, with the exception of Kiima, who fell to the floor, having been too close at the moment of impact. "Wha- What are ya doin'?"

"Shampoo must keep Kasumi safe, even if from Ranma!"

"What? I ain't gonna hurt Kasumi, an' I don't want ta hurt ya neither!"

"Is too late."

Ranma kicked the chui out of her hands on the next exchange, causing her to back up and draw her dao. "Why? Did I do somethin' wrong? I came for ya as fast as I could."

"Come for ...Shampoo?" She halted mid charge, almost dropping her sword. "No, no is true!"

"A' course! Ya think I'd leave ya ta be a slave?"

"Is way get rid of obstacle what is in way of be happy!"

"Th' only thing keepin' me from bein' happy right now, is ya thinkin' I want ya gone. What'd I do ta make ya think I don't want ya around?"

"Come for Kasumi, no for Shampoo. Always want be with Kasumi. No is stupid, see way look at each other. Never see more clear than now."

"But-...!"

"Shampoo-chan, do you not also see the way you look at each other?"

"It's true, I love Kasumi, but that don't mean I can't love ya too."

"That's my manly son!"

"Yer not helpin', Mom! Please, Shampoo, listen to me." He inched forward, trying not to startle her. "Come back ta us, come back ta me."

"But-..." Shampoo took a step forward, tears streaming down her face as she tried to resist the imprinting.

Ranma grasped her wrist lightly, causing her blade fell from her grip, before pulling her into reassuring embrace. "It's okay, we're here for ya. Trust me, everything's gonna be just fine."

"That's what you think!" Masara turned his attention back toward Shampoo as she continued to resist her programming. "What are you doing? Fight for us!"

"Ya ain't got ta fight for nobody. I'll protect ya, I promise."

With tears flowing freely, Shampoo found herself reaching for a dagger with the unintended goal of trying to puncture his chest. "Wo ai ni..."

Koruma ran over as his superior started to come around, rubbing her head. "Captain Kiima, what are your orders?"

Looking over to see the fight, she was aghast at seeing her 'master' fighting with her 'servant'. "Shampoo, STOP!" The knife fell to the floor with a clank. "You belong to Ranma now, and that is only person who may give you orders!"

"Aiyaaa... OKAY!" With a smile on her face that was more befitting of her beauty, she lit up the room as she knelt by his side, and did her best to wipe away her tears. "How may this humble one serve Master?"

"Shampoo-chan, ya won't have ta be a slave, don't worry, we'll fix ya soon."

"Shampoo no is worry, is too too happy now to serve worthy master!"

Ranma helped her to her feet and kissed her, hoping to convey the emotions he was feeling but was unable to put into words. "Sorry you had ta go though all this."

"You two, release that woman now!" Kiima continued to bark out orders as she climbed back to her feet.

"Yes, right away!"

As they unlocked the cell, the two bird-men looked at each other, talking in a low whisper. "Do you think Captain Kiima is acting strange?"

"Yeah, but maybe it's a strategy."

"Then we need to keep it to ourselves."

"Right!"

"There, it's open."

"Now, you're coming with us!"

Not letting go of Shampoo, Ranma ran over to share their embrace with Kasumi as she stepped out of the holding pen. "I am SO glad to see yer not hurt."

"Oh my, but Anata, I am sorry that-..."

"No, I'M th' one that's sorry, it's 'my' fault ya got caught up in this whole stupid mess. I should a' saved ya ...'both' sooner."

"It is fine, I am fine, you do not need to worry, I just hope I did not cause you too much trouble."

"No! No amount of trouble is too much for you, I'd do anythin' fer ya, either a' ya." He glanced over at Shampoo, hoping that freeing her would be as easy as it had been with his mother. "Thanks Kiima! Ya kept up yer end, so here-..."

"THERE YOU ARE!" Saffron stormed into the room, quickly taking in the scene.

"Oh hey look, it's th' brat prince."

"HAND OVER THE KINJAKAN NOW, YOU INSOLENT FOOL!"

"Calm down, we were just gettin' ta-..."

"WHY ARE THESE LANDLINGS NOT IN THE CELL? Kiima, explain this!"

"Well, you see Lord Saffron, we have everything 'well in hand', and we will be able to begin your ceremony shortly."

"Then in the mean time, I will entertain myself by killing this landling interloper! Hand me the Kinjakan, now!"

Just as Ranma was about to step forward in a defensive stance, Kasumi, Shampoo, and Kiima all jumped in front of him, shouting, "NO!"

Ignoring the others, Saffron focused his attention on his 'servant'. "Kiima, you would defy me?"

"No, Lord Saffron, but that is no longer necessary, I have taken care of everything, but that includes promising to free these people in exchange-..."

"What do I care for your 'deals' with these inferior creatures?"

"Inferior, am I?" Once again, Ranma was stopped, this time by Kasumi stepping forward before he got the chance.

"It seems this naughty boy needs to be punished! If you do not wish to wait patiently, then Aunty Kasumi will just have to put you in a time-out."

Taking one look into the older woman's eyes, Saffron lost all pretenses of standoffishness, and preceded to backpedal. There was something in her expression that sent chills down his spine and his wings were still sore from when she had bound him at the hot-spring the other day. "Fine! Do what you want! Just call me when you are ready!" With that, he fled the room, almost running into the door in the process.

"Remember, if I hear that you are misbehaving again, I will return!" She exchanged a knowing glance with Kiima, who winked at her in return.

Almost everyone started laughing at his antics, though Kasumi kept her firm gaze on the door, while Kiima chided her underlings, and Nodoka looked on with pride as her protege handled the unruly boy as her manly son wooed several women.

"Here you are Kiima, try ta keep that Prince a' yers' temper under control from now on, eh?" He finally handed the Kinjakan to her as she stared at him with devotion and a hint of confusion. "Now, as soon as we take care a' Shampoo, we'll head ta their village fer a few days while we wait. Ya'll come let us know when yer done, right?"

"Of course, Master. I do not believe that our lord will be a problem any longer thanks to you and your friends."

"MASTER?" Koruma and Masara openly gawked at Kiima. "Did you use an imprinting egg on our captain?"

"No, my son is simply too manly for your superior."

"That..." Kiima looked up, raising a finger as though she wanted to protest the point. "...is very true!" Her underlings facefaulted in response.

"Oh my!"

"Aiyaa...!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

As they watched the cocoon forming ritual, they found the Jusenkyo guide wandering around the tunnels of Jusendo, and his daughter chastised him for panicking them over nothing. Though once they explained the situation to him, he seemed rather relieved that their job would be secure for some time to come. It was not easy to find such luxurious accommodations around there on a government salary, and these were included!

"Father know what Plum go through? What say for self?"

"Is sorry child, Great-Grandfather have VERY bad handwriting..."

Kasumi gave a knowing look to the child and smiled. "Oh my, Perhaps you should be the one to update your notes on this ritual then."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ranma found that the women of Shampoo's village were much more accommodating upon his visit this time, treating them more as returning heroes, rather than social pariahs as they had before. Though they had been a bit on edge at first as Kiima and her warriors flew in, carrying Ranma, his family, and all of their luggage, but once Shampoo had explained the situation, they gathered everyone for a celebration. They had needed to remain ever vigilant around Ryu, as he was not yet an official member of the family until he married Nabiki, and so was still technically subject to the rules about 'outsiders'. Even Ranma had not been entirely safe, he may have been one of them, but that did not stop many of the warrior women vying for his attentions, luckily for his sanity, Shampoo was diligent in her insistence that had more than enough help with her airen already, and was not ready to allow anyone else to 'borrow' him any time soon.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Having already sent most of her troops home, Kiima exited the hut with Cologne, as they concluded their meeting. "Thank you Elder, it give me great pleasure to be able to sign this treaty with you and your people."

"I must agree, though I am a bit surprised by your terms..."

"Well, we do have more males then females, and so I am certain that some of our boys would not mind helping you as long as you do not try to force anyone ...too much. My main goal is to simply keep the peace with my master's people." The tall general respectfully bowed to the much shorter woman. As long as she could take the form of her master's top commander, she would be able to get Saffron to agree to her alliance, and her army would always follow her lead, so she had little to worry about there.

"Your 'Master'?" Cologne chuckled, leave it to the Son-in-law to 'master' the bird-people of Phoenix Mountain! "Be that as it may, have no concerns, we will honor our end of the generous bargain. Your people have our gratitude."

"Yes Elder, any allies of that man, are allies of mine. I have assigned two guards to be messengers to be at your disposal, they both have a Jusenkyo effect to allow them to fit in with you landlings. Feel free to use them to communicate with me, or the Master."

Cologne's left eyebrow rose as she mentally patted herself on the back for seeing the gamble she had taken with her investment in the young man paying off so well. Even if he and Shampoo stayed in Japan, the benefits of having him in their tribe are already paying off, she was glad that they maintained a positive relationship. "Thank you General, you are too kind."

"Not at all, if our people are going to be partners, then we should help each other in whatever ways we are able."

"Speaking of which, why don't we help ourselves to the banquet before all of the best foods are taken?"

With a grin she followed along, happy that she would not be needed while her lord was incubating, so she had time to stay and 'cement her bonds' with their new allies.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Oh yes, my little Shampoo was such an adorable child, but so rambunctious, always getting into everything!"

Nodoka giggled, as she imagined the shrunken Shampoo investigating anything she did not understand. "What a delight, I missed out on so much my own son's childhood, I cannot wait to see them with children of their own! I am sure between them, they will be beautiful."

"Well, if the matriarch is correct, as usual, then you will not have much longer to wait."

The pair giggled at thought of being grandparents, as Nodoka looked into his eyes. "You WILL be coming to visit us after they are born, will you not? A child cannot have too many grandparents, can they? And I am certain that your daughter would love to see you again!"

"It is hard to say, my Shampoo has always been fiercely independent, but I cannot say that I would not love to visit your country again. I doubt the children would want me around too often though."

"Not to worry, I will talk to Soun-kun, and I am certain you can stay with us."

"Is that your ...husband?"

"Oh dear, no." She took note of how his eyes lit up at her denial, there could be promise there. "That is my husband's 'boyfriend'. My Genma never had much time for me. Can you imagine?"

Shampoo's father stroked his beard as he shook his head. "No, I cannot. When my wife was still with me, I rarely had time for anything else! We did have five daughters after all." The pair grinned wickedly as they considered the logistics of that.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

After enjoying the feast with 'her master' and his family, Kiima followed them to a small home where they wasted no time at all before the three of them had seemingly forgotten she existed, and were enjoying each other's company. She had been told she could stay with them while they were all in the village, but sitting them watching them was making her want to either join them or leave before she lost her mind. It was as if the two women were competing over him, and yet they were also working together to please her master.

Shampoo continued to steal glances her way, "What that? Airen like be watch like that?"

Ranma's protests were prevented by Kasumi's breasts entering range of his mouth. "You do seem to have gotten harder."

The drooling winged-woman longingly ogled the trio. 'I want to join the fun too...' "Master."

"No keep tease Shampoo, is time, yes?"

"Dana-sama, make certain you take good care of us from now on."

Watching Kasumi straddle Ranma's face while she started kissing Shampoo, Kiima started to wonder if she could find some cold water and sneak her way into the mix. She could not believe that they were doing things in front of her. "Amazing..." Without realizing it, she had started to crawl closer, her eyes somewhat glazed over.

"Oooh my, Kiima-chan, did ...did you wish tooo help?" Kasumi glanced down at the bird-woman who was on the floor while she writhed in pleasure as Ranma's mouth worked her over.

Looking up with with hopeful eyes, she could not believe her ears. "Would you, really allow me the honor?"

"No turn down help..."

"Woooooooould weee ask you tooo join us if not? Oooooooh Mmmmmmmm, Aaaa-naaaa-taaaa!"

After a quick double-take, Kiima snaked in to start licking where Shampoo and Ranma were connected with a gusto as she removed her garments.

"Aiiiiiiyaaaaaaaaa! Get too too big! Sooooo nice! Is Airen like what 'Bird-Girl' doooo?"

"Ooooh Myyyy... I believe that is a 'yes'!" Kasumi squealed in delight as a finger on his free hand began to probe her from behind.

It did not take long before Shampoo was writhing in his lap, abandoning all pretense of composure as she thrashed about, howling like a cat in heat. If Kasumi's thighs had not been covering his ears, Ranma might have had a mild panic attack, but as it was, he managed to send the young warrior to seventh heaven before she slid to the ground, a blissful look of pure contentment on her lovely features. "Sooo nice, Bird-Girl welcome join anytime..."

Both of the conscious women noticed that Ranma was still standing at the ready, when Kasumi's kind eyes met Kiima's expectant ones. It only took her a bit of coaxing for the other woman to get closer before she leaned forward and they both began to lick him. "It is too big, I cannot get it in my mouth."

"It can be troublesome, but you do not need to take the whole thing, use your tongue, like this." Kiima watched as Kasumi traced lines up and down his full length before tackling the tip. "Do not forget you can also use your breasts. Let us do it together, okay?"

Nodding, Kiima leaned forward and joined her 'other half' in working him over, their lips and tongues occasionally touching. They gasped as their nipples rubbed together, their warm breaths causing Ranma to twitch and electricity to shoot through the two women. She had no idea how much time had passed, but could not believe it when Kasumi was urging her on to straddle him next. "I don't think that will fit! Ooooh ooooooo... It went in! It's hitting my womb."

"Give it a moment, you are almost there, Kiima-chan. Just relax." Kasumi started to kiss her, which was still not as shocking as the feeling of the other woman pressing their chests together as she polished her pearl with her fingers.

"Ooooooooooooo!"

"There you are, now just allow Ranma-sama to work the magic."

"Master is SO strong!"

She could hear Kasumi coo as he tried to speak from under her. "Should I slow down?"

"No! Do ...as you ...want, Master! Ah, ah! Can't breathe! Even ...better ...than ...last time."

"That reminds me, that was very naughty of you to pretend to be me, and sneak into our husband's bed. I shall need to 'punish' you for that later."

"Yes, please train this humble one!" With the feeling of being penetrated so deeply along with all of the other stimuli, the beautiful general's mind was quickly growing blank as the fireworks started going in her head and loins.

She could barely hear the voices from outside as she fell into a trance-like daze, the last thing she heard was Kasumi's sultry voice cooing to their partner. "Oh my, now it is MY turn, A-na-ta..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

While stumbling back from his evening of drinking and chatting with Nodoka, Shampoo's father stumbled passed where his daughter's house should have been, only to see it covered in warriors of all ages piled in front of every opening as they tried to observe the 'activity' inside. "Hey, what are you all doing? Let those kids get their privacy!"

Hopping over on her staff, Cologne patted him on the shoulder as she cackled. "Don't worry about it Son-in-law, we do not get a show like that very often!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Within a couple of days, Kiima returned to Mount Phoenix, and soon the water began to flow again into the pools of Jusenkyo. When the guide came to tell them that pools were finally full, everyone was so excited they could barely stand it. The only exceptions to this were the young women who knew that meant the strong men were leaving soon, the women who preferred the 'cute red-head', and Cologne, who repeated her warning. "Jusenkyo is full of wild magics, you never know what could happen when you try mixing them."

"Do ya really think it won't work?" Ranma clearly showed signs of worry.

"I cannot say for certain, Son-in-law, in my long lifetime, I have heard many stories, and the results varied drastically. Just be sure that this is truly what you want to do."

"I am." Though his voice lost some of the conviction it normally had.

"No worry, Shampoo love Airen, no matter what turn into!" She quickly threw her arms around him, gushing as she did.

"I feel the same way, Dana-sama. It does not matter if you get cured, if you stay the way you are now, or turn into something completely different. You will always be the same, kind man I fell in love with."

"Ya really don't mind this weirdo body a' mine?"

"Of course not! I mean, it was a bit strange at first, but now it is just 'you', honestly I think it would be stranger if you did not change now."

"What about you, I thought ya hated my girl-side?"

"No! Shampoo love Ranma any form! Only hate be show up by 'outside girl', but no matter what Airen look like, now Shampoo know is too too much man. No could ever hate! Think Husband is perfect as is, but want be happy, Shampoo support whatever want do. What Airen was, Shampoo love, what Airen is, Shampoo love, what Airen become, Shampoo love too."

"Well, ya want ta at least go look?"

"Shampoo go!"

"If you wish."

"Hey, maybe ya shouldn't go, Kasumi, ya know, don't want ya ta risk gettin' a curse too, right?"

"But, Anata, I would like to be there for your big moment!"

"Yeah, but, it's 'so' risky! What would we do if ya got cursed?"

"The same thing we do about yours and Shampoo's."

"Would you say something, please?" Ranma begged his fellow curse victim to help talk sense into his other 'bride to be'.

"Is true, no is fun have curse, should no take risk lightly."

"But-...?" Kasumi really wanted to go with them, but she did have to admit, that turning into something like a mouse at odd times could be a problem. Changing like Ranma does would be one thing, but some of the others really do have it much worse in some ways. How would she do laundry if she could not touch cold water? That was a curse she did not want to have in her life! "Fine, but you two had better be careful without me."

"Is promise!" The cursed pair's mood lightened at the assurance of their mutual loved one's safety.

"Just hang tight with Granny for a bit, an' we'll be back before ya know it!"

"Well, I will expect that you will make it up to me for leaving me alone for so long when you return." Kasumi winked and blew him a kiss while praying for his safety.

"I give ya my word."

"Then I will be holding you both to it!" Still sad at being left behind, her previous fright over almost getting a curse still loomed in the back of her mind, she tried to focus on the fun that they would have upon their return.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

The prickling of danger grew stronger as they approached Jusenkyo, trepidation filled the air, and they exchanged nervous glances once it came into view. "It's fine, right? We're just worried over nuthin'..."

"Is okay, yes? Shampoo no is worry." Like her voice, Ranma could feel her body slightly shaking as she held onto his arm, but chose to ignore that in favor of trusting in her words.

"Right! Let's go! The pools ain't gettin' more cursed, right?"

"Aiyaa! What that? How Husband get over there too? Have twin what like run around naked no tell Shampoo about?"

"Huh?" As he followed her gaze, he saw what she had indicated, a young girl, jumping through the trees, who looked almost exactly like his cursed form! "What's going on here?"

"Oh, that one too too tragic story of monkey what was throw into Spring of Drowned Girl, over one month ago!"

"Oh, that explains... Wait, what?"

"While back, Prince of Musk come to Jusenkyo, want do train with monkey-girl. Plan was throw monkey into spring, turn into girl and lock with magic ladle so could train be with girl. But monkey no like be throw into spring, and fight back, kick prince into spring when too too busy look at naked girl-monkey."

Even as he sympathized with the guy's predicament, Ranma and Shampoo laughed at the just desserts. "Serves th' guy right!"

"Try change back may time, but never let get close."

Shrugging at the strange situation, Shampoo thought it might be wise to tell her grandmother when they returned, just in case the poor monkey ran into someone from the village, would not want anyone to treat it like an 'outsider' after all.

Following the guide, they carefully navigated their way through the many springs until he came to a stop in an area he would never forget. "Which one Honored Guest want go first?"

A long moment of indecision followed, the pair shifting their gaze between the many bodies of water and back to each other as they tried to steady their breathing. Finally, one of them spoke, a firm resolve in her voice. "Shampoo go first, curse is one what make Airen life most hard."

"Okay, Nyanniichuan is here."

Ranma watched as Shampoo carefully approached the pool he so hated, the very one he used to see every night in his dreams, before he awoke screaming. While he did not have those nightmares any longer, seeing it again triggered those memories and a chill went up his spine. As she stepped into the pond and disappeared below the water, his heart skipped a beat, he did not even realize that he was holding his breath until she broke the surface and they both gasped for air. He had to rub his eyes and blink several times to make certain that he was not seeing things. "Shampoo?" She still looked like Shampoo, but she had some distinctly feline traits, such as light pink and purple fur, sharp little claws, two ears near her hair-buns, a pair of small fangs, and a long tail! Ranma gawked at her, more in fascination than fear, wondering what could have happened.

The guide looked around hesitantly, and chuckled, hoping to disarm any anger that might be directed his way. "Guess Jusenkyo magic no fully permeate water yet, we try again tomorrow, yes?"

"Yeah ...I guess." Ranma looked around cautiously, nervous about his chances.

Shampoo nodded absently as she examined herself and found that she still had the heightened senses that she had grown accustomed to as a cat, but still retains most of her human traits. "What Airen think?"

"Well, that could'a gone better, but it ain't as bad as before, right?" He tried to grin reassuringly.

"NYAAAN! So happy!" So excited that Ranma was not afraid of her, she leapt straight toward him, not realizing her new strength, and knocking him well outside of the training grounds. The pair tumbled in each others arms, as she snuggled against him, quickly wriggling out of her dress. "Is time thank for free Shampoo again. Come, no can wait more!" There was something about this new body of hers, it was far more sensitive, and being this close to his natural scent was captivating her, drawing her in. Everything was more intense, but there was just something about Ranma's fragrance that caused her to react as though he were stimulating every nerve in her body. Her desires were far more demanding of her than they had ever been before, she figured it was likely due to her cursed form, but at that moment she did not care, it almost like being in heat.

"What? Here? Like this?"

"Rub against Airen in new form, make Shampoo want Ranma more than ever! Please, no make keep wait-..." Ranma stole her lips, not giving her another moment to wonder, being careful around her newly acquired fangs.

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"There you are! How did it go, did you get a cure?" Kasumi ran to the door, stopping dead in her tracks as she saw Shampoo, still in her new hybrid cursed form. "Oh my, what happened?"

"Guess magic no is full charge yet, what Onee-chan think?"

"Well, you certainly do look cute!"

"Nyaaan!" Shampoo pounced onto Kasumi, lightly tackling her to the floor, and nuzzling her face. "So happy! Everyone what matter like Shampoo new body! Is fun, but now is ready for show Nee-chan how tongue feel."

"But, what about you, Dana-sama?"

"Seeing Shampoo, I didn't want ta risk it with mine. Ya know?"

"That is okay, Anata, we like you just fine the way you are!"

"Well, th' guide said we could go back an' try again tomorrow, should work by then."

"Well then, I suppose we ought to so something to special to celebrate today. Could we talk you into being a girl with us for the night, since this will be your last chance?" Kasumi looked up at him from where she lay on the floor, imploring him with her eyes.

Ranma was locked in her gaze, unable to tear himself away, nor to refuse her request. "Ya really want ta do it with my girl-side, both a' ya?"

Kasumi nodded and Shampoo purred. "Is last chance, no?"

"I guess so..."

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"What'd ya mean, ya don't want a cure?" Ranma stared at his fellow 'victim', unable to believe what he was hearing.

"Is okay, if no scare Airen, then Shampoo want keep. New body stronger, faster, do many thing normal body no can do. Is fun, Shampoo like!"

"But, it's a 'curse'!"

"No is all bad, only problem is make Shampoo want more alone time with Airen too too much, but if Ranma no mind..."

"Yes, well, I, um, guess that part ain't so bad..." A blushing Ranma almost lost his balance as the bubbly young and 'furry' woman jumped into his arms, allowing her lips to show him exactly how much she appreciated his accepting her the way she was. "Hey, watch th' claws!"

"Sawee!" She stuck her tongue out at him with an embarrassed expression. "Still want Shampoo go with, for support?"

"Nah, if yer happy, then it's better ta not risk it."

"Really, no bother Airen?"

"Nah, it's just like yer wearin' some weird costume, it don't bother me at all ...and yer fur DOES feel nice." Ranma blushed as he remembered their tussle in the tall grass the day before.

"Oh my, are you two not the cutest things?"

"Hey Kasumi, where'd ya go?"

"I am glad you did not leave yet!"

"I wouldn't go without tellin' ya."

"I wanted to pack you a lunch, for your trip, so I asked Cologne-sama to show me where I could work without disturbing you two having fun."

Blushing at what she meant, he focused on the less embarrassing aspect of that. "Ya did? Thanks, that's great!"

"Aiyaa! Why Shampoo no think of that?" Then she realized that it was more fun to 'play' with Ranma instead.

"Ganbatte, kudasai!" They both gave him a hug and wished him luck before he nervously made his way back to Jusenkyo.

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NOTES

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Lions copulate very frequently, sometimes for as little as ten seconds, but they are almost always ready to go again. When in heat, the female might mate every fifteen minutes for three days and nights without sleep, with many partners. Based on this fact, I have said that the cat-people have an enormous sex-drive. Their strong desire to mate also playing off of the phrase, 'set kitten', which seemed to fit Shampoo pretty well. While the cat people do like to claw and nibble, I am going to suggest we NOT say the male has the barbed penis of most felines. Lions tend to be promiscuous, sharing mates, as well as engaging in other sexual acts unrelated to mating, such as oral sex, masturbation (not an easy task for a cat), as well as a number of homosexual acts (and unlike giraffes, this is common among both genders).

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OMAKE 18

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*This scene followed a different path, much closer to the canon plot. This is partially for anyone who felt a bit ripped by the way I ended the misunderstanding at Mount Phoenix.*

Barely able to cope with seeing Kasumi become a 'doll' before his very eyes after having the water evaporated from her body from touching the Kinjakan, Ranma focused on the one thought that kept him moving through the pain in his heart, he absolutely HAD to get that magic water and return her to normal before it was too late!

His first few attempts had not gone well, and he had a sinking feeling that he was running out of time, not made any better when he saw the mini-Kasumi start to close her eyes. Unable to forget the Jusenkyo Guide's warning that she would die if her eyes fully closed, he yelled at the doll, hoping that she might be able to hear him. "Kasumi, I WILL fix this, I promise ya! Do ya trust me?" Her eyes suddenly snapped open all the way.

"Yatta!" With a small sigh of relief, Ranma poured on the speed, making it back into Jusendo within moments, only to find a much taller Saffron waiting for them before he could get into the room with the water spigots. Ignoring the guy's rather long-winded explanation, he looked for a way passed him. "Oh no, they are starting to close again!"

"Is hopeless, that girl does not have the strength to hold on much longer."

"Kasumi! Don't listen ta that guy! Hang in there! I need ya ta be as strong as I know ya can be, yer so much stronger than ya think ya are! Ya can do this, I know ya can!" Her eyes popped open again, but he could see her strength of will weakening. "Don't ya give up on me now! Ya got ta hang in there! Then we can all go home and be happy, together!"

"You cannot escape me so easily! WHAT?" Suddenly, Ranma was in his face, brandishing the Gekkaja, slicing off one of his wings, and kicking him down into the crevasse.

"Sorry, Guy, I wouldn't normally resort ta maimin' ya, but it ain't like yer leavin' me much choice! I ain't got time ta play nice, I'm in a hurry, an' I'll kill ya if ya try ta stop me from savin' Kasumi!"

Surprising Ranma, the phoenix prince seemed to explode in flames, only to reappear in perfect working order. "FOOL! I am immortal! YOU COULD NEVER BEAT ME!"

"Well, that ain't really fair."

"Even if you cut me to pieces, I will reform!"

"Yer just a pain, ain't ya?"

"You will never even get close to me again!" Ripping off his own wing, he set it ablaze, and hurled it at Ranma as another regrew to take its place. "Flaming Emperor's Wing!"

Using the Gekkaja, he deflected the wing, sending it into the side of the mountain. "You crazy bastard!" Ranma ricocheted off of the walls, climbing higher as he bounced.

"Now, you DIE!" Using the Kinjakan, Saffron boosted his fireball to previously unseen levels, letting it fly straight at Ranma.

"Kuso!" Ranma panicked, uncertain if he would survive the blast. Calling upon his Soul of Ice, he blocked with the Gekkaja when he felt the Kasumi-doll wriggling around in his shirt. "Come on, Kasumi, stay with me! Oh no!" With both hands on the staff to brace for impact, he did not react quickly enough as it seemed as if she actually jumped out of his shirt, blocking the fireball with her already dehydrated body. "KASUMI! NOOO!"

As Ranma picked up her doll-like form, he almost singed his hands on her superheated form. He panicked as he saw her eyes half closed, despite the satisfied smile on her shrunken face. "Damn-it, Kasumi, ya gotta hang in there! I swear, I'm gonna get ya out this, okay?"

"What kind of coward would hide behind their injured girlfriend?"

Ranma growled as he shouted out in misery. "I DIDN'T! Fine! Ya want this thing? Come an' get it!" After stuffing Kasumi more snugly into his shirt, he rebounded off of the sides of the mountain to gain more height, waiting for the incoming attack. He did not have much of a delay, for the furious phoenix come at him and as he dodged the smaller fireballs, he was intentionally landing on the mountainsides extra hard before bouncing to the other side, climbing higher with each pass. "I thought ya were comin' ta get me! Ya sure ain't tryin' real hard!"

"Your confidence is impressive, but misplaced, no landing can match me in the air! I am immortal, I cannot die, while you are looking rather worse for wear! Prepare yourself for the underworld!"

"I don't got ta kill ya ta get out a my way long enough ta do what I got ta." Ranma waited until he had fired off the huge ball of flame before jumping straight up at the exact same time he used the newest technique he had learned, tapping the mountain with the tip of the Gekkaja. "Bakusai Tenketsu!" The explosion of rock snuffed out the fireball, as well as shaking loose the upper areas he had previously loosened, while he rode the shockwave even higher, watching the surprised Saffron as he was buried under the resulting avalanche. "Sorry man, but I told ya not ta try an' stop me from savin' Kasumi!"

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This Omake was much closer to my original vision for the ending of this, when I was simply going to have it be part of the epilogue, but like with the rest of this story, the more I thought about it, the more things started to change.

Again, sorry about the delay, a lot of small issues to wrap up here, and I am much slower when I have to write new material. ;p

Will Ranma get his cure? Do you really want him to? Who knows, I certainly do not! Come back next time and find out with the rest of us when we bring you, 'Cat-girls and Cures', or 'Back to the Way We Were'.

A study has shown that reviewing this story will help regrow hair on people suffering from male panda baldness.


	53. Chapter 53

Warning: Do not attempt to climb into this story, you will not fit. There are no places for self inserts!

Chapter 53 - There's a Monkey On Your Back!

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Ranma's apprehension of the day before had not left him by the time he was staring down into Nanniichuan, and he stood there, wondering what exactly was going to happen when he jumped in to it. He had no idea how long he stood there mulling it over in his head, but at some point he quit thinking, and just closed his eyes, held his breath, and jumped with an unceremonious splash.

Climbing out of the water, Ranma immediately noticed three things, the first was that he was once again female, the second was that he was not climbing out the same pond that he thought he had jumped into, not that he could imagine how he could have possibly missed, and the third thing was that his doppelganger was looking at his familiar features curiously, while cautiously scooting forward, bit by bit getting closer with every moment.

Seeing his cursed form from the outside always freaked him out a little bit, but he did not want to scare her away. Remaining as still as he could, he placed some nuts and fruits from his lunch out in the space between them. Filling his voice with a soothing ki, Ranma gently called out to her. "Hey girl, ya hungry?"

"Uki uki?"

Ranma tried not to make any sudden moves as she tentatively picked at the offered foodstuffs, shifting her gaze between the edibles and Ranma's hair. Once the food was gone, she eventually reached over to pull on Ranma's braid while looking at her own. "Ya like that do ya?"

"Uki, uki!"

Seeing her nod, he was surprised. "Ya can understand me?" He had to resist a facefault when she shook her head 'no', so as not to scare her away. "Would ya like me ta do yers too?" Taken aback by her nodding again, Ranma slowly moved around behind her, and started to run his fingers through her hair, gently removing the tangles as Kasumi had taught him. Seeing her responding well to his ministrations, he lightly rubbed her scalp before he finished brushing, and braiding her red hair. As he was finishing, he noticed that she was breathing heavily, but failed to notice where her hands were furiously rubbing away.

"Kyaaaaa!" Ranma could feel her body wracked with the now familiar spasms of an orgasm and he blushed as it started to dawn on him what she had been doing while he had done her hair. Essentially being his cursed form, he had not completely registered that she was actually naked, having seen the image in the mirror far too many times for his liking, yet her throws of passion brought that image home.

Pulling out his oversized towel, he tried to wrap it around her, but every time he did, she would throw it off, clearly not liking the idea of being covered. He watched as she played with the braid, jumping around as she got used to how It felt with a smile on her face. After a few moments, she settled down and hopped back over to Ranma. "Uki uki!"

Sniffing about, she danced around Ranma, poking him, and tugging on his clothing with a inquisitive expression. "I tried ta give ya somethin' before, but ya didn't want it."

"Uki?" Her expectant expression made him chuckle as he had pause to remember what she really was. He wondered if she wanted to return to her natural form as he did, or if she was preferred being human. He figured he would prefer to be human, but maybe she missed her tail, then it belatedly occurred to him that she might have wanted the braid for that very reason...

"So ya want ta match, do ya?" Seeing the emphatic nods, he sighed. "Yer lucky Kasumi-chan packed me a spare set." Seeing her happy grin, he was having a hard time believing that she could not understanding his words, and was just reading his presence, tone, and body-language, maybe they just had a link due to sharing the curse for all he knew.

Using his ki to dry the clothing he was wearing, he started to dig through the small pack that he brought with him, and finally pulling out the extra clothing. "Here ya go. ...Come on, let me show ya how ta put 'em on."

It had taken him several moments to get her into the boxers, but once she had figured that out, the pants went much easier. "No, no, we have to tie them first. Like this. ...There you go, now the shirt." This was another challenge, particularly the buttons, which she loved to play with, even after he had thought he was finished fastening them.

"Well, I suppose I should call ya something, I can't just call ya 'Monkey-Girl' like someone we both know." When he turned back toward her, she had unfastened several buttons and had tucked her head inside the changshan. As he pulled the silken garment back down, he quietly said, "Inaiinaibaa, I see ya."

As soon as they could see each other again, she playfully covered her eyes with her hands while giggling. "Where'd ya go? ...Peek-a-boo!"

After playing for a while, Ranma came to a decision. "Okay then, what d'ya say we go get some more food, huh?"

In response, the grinning girl nuzzled up to Ranma's chest, happy to have found another of its kind. After picking up his pack, Ranma took her hand, and led the way back to the guide's hut. His new friend grew a bit skittish when she saw the other people, and thanks to Ranma's reassurances, she stayed calm, but her grip tightened on his hand.

"Aiyaa, Honored Customer do too too good job catching Monkey-Girl, we watch from here.

"Mizaru."

"What, you say?"

"This girl's name, Mizaru, after the 'See-No-Evil' wise monkey."

"Uki? Uki!"

"Oh? Ya like that, huh?"

"Have hot water ready if want now."

"I guess so. Wait, be careful, it might not be a good idea ta splash Mizaru here."

"No need worry too too much, that one get hit with Chiisuiton. No can change back without Kaisuifuu."

"Chop suey, Kai Suey Fu? What is that, a style or a food?"

"One is magic bucket and ladle what lock Jusenkyo curse, other is magic kettle what free from lock."

"Wow! Really? That's kind a' scary. Glad I didn't get hit with it!"

"Is true, ladle is own by Musk, but no one know where kettle is."

"Urk! Then I'm REALLY glad I didn't get hit with it!"

"So, is ready?"

"Yeah, but probably still want ta be careful, Mizaru's still a bit jumpy."

"Seem have girl well in hand now." Despite how things appeared, the man did not want a repeat of before, the girl had managed to make quite a nuisance of herself, and neither him nor his daughter had managed to have any luck catching her, so he was very careful pouring the warm water on Ranma.

"Kyaaa!" Ranma's double jumped back as the change hit him, eying him suspiciously while sniffing the air around him.

"Hey, it's okay, it's still me." After a moment, she slowly crept closer, poking him again, before she found his braid and smiled, taking his hand once again.

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Kasumi and Shampoo came running over to them as soon as the village came into view. "DANA-SAMA! What happened, was it another magic mirror, did you fall into the spring of drowned twins, or what?"

"Aiyaaaa...! Did find Monkey-Girl, and why ride on back? ...Look fun."

"Yeah, and it turns out it's locked like this, can't change back, an' I couldn't just leave things like that. I mean, looks like me, ya know? It was weird."

"Oh yes, especially while wearing your clothing!" Kasumi eyed the girl riding 'her fiancee', and blushed as she thought about that fact. "Oh my..."

"What want do with? No is plan keeping, yes?"

"Naw, but I thought Granny could help, ya know?"

The young warrior switched her attention from the newcomer to her husband with a grin. "What, no is only 'Shampoo Grandmother' now?"

Ranma blushed as he thought about them becoming family. "Well, ya know, I guess not any more, huh?"

Shampoo started to lunge toward her airen, but he put up his hand to block her progress. "Aiyaa? Why?"

"Mizaru's still kind a' jumpy, ya know? Don't want nobody runnin' away..."

"Say Airen..." Shampoo pouted as the 'rotten monkey' kept her from her love, and she mumbled to herself. "More like 'Akahihi'."

Kasumi's attention shifted toward the red-head, with a gentle smile. "Is that your name cutie, 'Mizaru'? Do you like that?" Seeing her nod, she held out a piece of fruit that she had in her pocket. "Here you go, girl."

After sniffing at it a bit, she waited for Ranma to nod before accepting it before retreating to hide as much of her as possible behind his back.

"Oh my, it seems as though you made a friend."

"Fri-end?" Every turned to stare at the red-head, being the first intelligible thing she said.

Ranma reached around and patted her on the head. "Yeah, that's right, 'friends'."

"Oh, aren't you two just adorable?" Kasumi gushed as Ranma's copy cuddled to his back, twirling his braid in her free hand.

"Aiyaa! When Shampoo turn?" The young woman turned away pouting just in time to see great-grandmother hopping up to see them.

"Oh? What have we here? A new friend?" While it looked like her 'son-in-law', their auras were nothing alike.

"Friend!" She nodded vigorously with a broad grin on her cute features.

"Would you look at that? Interesting... Do you have a name little one?"

Ranma turned back to look at the girl on his back before opening his mouth.

"Akahihi!" Shampoo was proud of getting the jump on anyone.

"Mizaru. Wait, what?"

"Akahihi Mizaru? What an interesting name." The ancient woman chuckled from atop her staff.

Feeling her happily chittering behind him, he figured she found it acceptable. "I guess that works." 'Akahihi' reminded him a bit too much of another certain someone's name, but as long as she was happy, that was what matters, and if she answered to either, then all the better. "I guess you have two names then."

"But Anata, what about you, did you get your cure?"

"Kuso! I kind a' ...forgot!"

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It had taken several hours for the 'cursed' monkey-girl to warm-up to anyone else other than Kasumi, but eventually her curiosity won out and she climbed off of his back, starting to 'play' with the others, inspecting anything that caught her attention with a child-like abandon. No sooner had he started to relax, then Shampoo had come along, attaching herself to his back in her place. "Now is Shampoo turn, is okay, yes?"

His words said it was "fine", but his resigned sigh told her otherwise.

"What is matter Airen, no like Shampoo as much as Monkey-Girl?"

"What? No! Of course not! How could you think such a thing? I'm just worried about what Mizaru will do, we don't really know what'll happen, ya know?"

"So, still love Shampoo?"

"Of course I do!" Turning his head, he gave her a light kiss, making certain that his aimed for her lips, and not her cheek, not wanting any confusion her home village.

The young woman had lost count of the number of times she had asked a similar question, but this had been the first time she had ever gotten such an affirmative response and she almost fell to the floor as a result! "Aiyaaaa... Soooo happy!"

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Mizaru had fallen asleep in Kasumi's arms, looking cute enough, in a surreal sort of way, that he almost wished he had a camera. He was still feeling as if he were having an out of body experience whenever he would look at her, but he was starting to get used to the idea of a proverbial 'twin', even if they had been having a difficult time keeping her clothed. Now his problem was how to dislodge Shampoo who had fallen asleep while still clinging to his back.

He finally managed to use the body-substitution technique, leaving his living backpack with a snoozing Kasumi, allowing him to slip out into the night. Moving preternaturally fast, he made his way back to Jusenkyo in almost no time at all. Once there, he no longer moved quickly, in fact, he barely moved at all as he stared at the pools that had caused so many problems in his life. "Ya know, they already got th' poles, they really ought ta put up signs, save everyone a lot a hassle!"

He stared at the water for an exorbitant amount of time, before eventually deciding to take the plunge.

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A blond woman in a skimpy toga peered into a scrying pool, laughing as she spun a golden apple on the tip of her index finger. "Did you, like, really think I would let you get cured, just like, you know, that? No, no, no, you are FAR too much fun this way, my little 'Chaotic Horse'!"

As she watched him climb from the Spring of Drowned Girl, and throw himself back toward the Spring of Drowned Man, she took a bite of her golden apple only to see it reform as she chewed before spitting one of the seeds into her scrying pool. "Seeds of Chaos hear my plea, and keep that boy entertaining me!"

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After several attempts to cure himself, Ranma came to the conclusion that it was something that the gods were simply not going to allow, and hurling several choice profanities toward the sky, he slowly walked back to the village in a slump.

It was almost dawn by the time he finally made it back to the small building he was sharing with the two most important women in his life. He took a deep breath before he opened the door, and as he stepped inside, he headed for the back room. Going into the back room, he saw Shampoo and Kasumi each curled up next to one side of his female-side's clone as the three of them slept peacefully. Seeing together brought a smile to his lips and brightened his mood, but he did not want to wake them, so he crept back into the small 'kitchen' area, to prepare them a nice breakfast.

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After setting the table, and laying out the food he had made, Ranma walked back to gaze at the trio of ladies still snoozing together, their bodies intertwined. He smiled as the rays of sunlight highlighted their beautiful faces, creating a glow around them. Before he could bring himself to move, Kasumi's eyes fluttered open as the light hit her. "Ooooh goooood mmmmmorning, Aanaataaa." Just as he was about to respond, she leaned over and kissed Mizaru on the cheek. "I am glad you are still here this morning."

"Oki?" Ranma chuckled as he wondered if that was what he looked like when someone surprised him that early in the morning.

"Oh, oh my! I forgot, I am just so embarrassed..."

"It's okay, yer secret's safe with me, and I doubt Mizaru'll tell nobody neither."

"Oki, chuu?"

He could not prevent the laugh as he watched her making a 'kissing' face toward no one in particular. "Then again, maybe I spoke too soon."

"Aiyaaa... Feel too too early, but look late. Hate when change 'time zone'." Turning her head, she came face to face with his duck-faced doppelganger. "Aiyaa, Airen is too too frisky in morning, maybe Shampoo forget do nightly duty more often. Mmmmmm..."

"While it's nice to see ya getting along so well, if you guys're done fooling around, food's gettin' cold."

"Aiyaaaaaa... Akahihi no is Airen! Why trick Shampoo?" The both glared at each other defiantly before Shampoo hopped up and ran over to throw her arms around her airen, kissing him before turning her attention back to her simian foe. Much to her consternation, the red-head took that as a challenge, and mimicked the actions before hopping onto Ranma's back as he had to wonder if he would ever have a peaceful morning.

"Now, now girls, we should go eat our food while it is hot, save Darling for later."

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"Dana-sama, what is wrong?"

"Nuthin' really..."

"Come now Anata, I can tell that you are down, talk to me, let me help you."

"Ain't nuthin' ya can do, it's just ...I went back ta Jusenkyo last night."

"Oh no...! What happened?"

"That's just it, 'nuthin' happened', no matter what I tried." His head sunk for a moment, before he looked up, his scowl slowly fading. "But ya know what?" Seeing her curiously shaking her head to the negative, he continued. "I just don't care any more. It ain't like I can do anything about it, an' I'm getting' really close on that water-shield technique."

"Really? That is wonderful!" Without hesitation, she tossed a glass of water at him, only to see him change right before her eyes. "Oh my..."

The wet red-head slumped forward, shaking his head. "Wasn't ready for that. It's harder than it looks, ya know?"

"Oh my, I am sorry!" As she moved closer with a ready towel and hug, his unintended twin bounded into the room, happy to see her 'older sister', and latching onto Ranma's back.

"Ya made it back, what happened ta yer guide?" Ranma patted her head as she hugged his back.

Shampoo came rushing into the house, clearly out of breath. "Aiyaa... Akahihi go too too fast!"

"Oh my, are you all right, Shampoo-chan?"

"Is okay, that one just run before Shampoo was done!"

"Well, I'm glad yer okay, Shampoo-chan."

"Aiyaa... Is true?"

"Yeah, an' thanks fer helpin' Mizaru too!"

She wanted to protest, and say that she had needed to go anyway, but seeing his warm smile beaming at her, in stereo as his clone copied him, left her speechless. There was just no way she could stay mad at someone who looked so much like her airen. "Is okay..."

"Now that yer back, why don't we all go ta' th' hotspring an' get cleaned up then?"

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"Do not worry, Anata, no matter what you look like, I will love you exactly the same."

"I told ya, I'm fine, really."

"Uki, uki, suki friend!"

"Shampoo feel same way, Airen. No let get down, how many boy have two too too pretty wife to call own, what do anything make happy? Shampoo even let Ranma make delivery in back door." Her sheepish expression stirred some of the feelings he had recently discovered, and Ranma found his remaining depression quickly evaporating, no matter how much he tried to cling to it. "Is Ranma ready let wife do duty?"

"What, here? What if somebody comes?"

"Shampoo hope many us do, especially Airen!"

"But, I mean, Mizaru's here, an' yer villagers..."

"Let watch, let see how manly Shampoo husband be! Let all womans be jealous of Shampoo and Kasumi!"

"Oh my..."

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The next day, Kiima returned with a small battalion of mostly female guards, who met Ranma and friends at the edge of the village. Some of the villagers were nervous at first, even if the news of the peace between their people spread rapidly through the small community, but the winged warriors knelt before Ranma as their leader approached. "Master, we are here to give you passage back to your home, though know that you will always have a home in Mount Phoenix. We will treat you as royalty."

"Yeah, thanks, but I got stuff I need ta be doin' back in Japan. Got a business ta run, an' I guess we're gonna be openin' a school pretty soon, but-..."

Kasumi stepped forward to bow to Kiima with a warm smile. "You feel free to visit us whenever you have free time as well, okay?"

"Really? You do not mind?" The tentative tone seemed out of place from the taller woman, and her troops clearly noticing, each taking a similarly differential demeanor.

"Not at all!" No one could doubt Kasumi's sincerity as she smiled at her.

"Just help keep that Saffron guy in line, okay?" Ranma cocked a grin her way, surprised to see her bow deeply in response.

"You have my word, Master! My lord Saffron has already been much less 'temperamental' since the ceremony ended, and news of 'Aunt Kasumi's potential return should quell any problems for some time to come."

The two taller women shared a giggle at the small deception used as punishment, despite Kasumi's preference for honesty. "If you do need us, we would be happy to help anytime, just let us know."

"Thank you, my lady. Perhaps you would allow me to learn some of your techniques, to better play my part?"

Kasumi pictured the winged-woman bound and gagged and grinned. "Of course, it would be my ...pleasure."

"Thank you again, my Lady. We shall forever be in your debt." With a bow, she indicated a large blanket that the soldiers had spread out. "You may load your luggage there. We will leave whenever you are ready."

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As they were loading their luggage onto the blanket, Ranma found that his newfound friend would not leave his back, even as they were trying to leave. "Aw, come on, we're leavin', don't ya want ta stay here in China?"

She started to panic, clearly unhappy with that idea. "Kyaaa! Kyaaaaaa! Want stay friend!"

"Oh, Anata, can we not take Mizaru-chan with us?"

"Do ya really think that's a good idea?"

"If Akahihi come with, then need respect Shampoo authority!"

"Well, you are the 'older sister', so you need to teach Mizaru-chan what to do."

The normally bouncy warrior, pouted as the responsibility was pushed off onto her. "Why Shampoo? No is one what want pet."

"Hey now, that ain't nice."

"Sorry Airen, but IS 'monkey', even if looky like person."

"Is not!"

"Is too!" Shampoo turned to face her naysayer, shocked to see her husband's lookalike sticking her tongue out at her. "Aiyaa..."

"You are 'so' smart Mizaru-chan!" Kasumi gushed over the jubilant juvenile.

Shampoo sighed before regaining her composure. "Is true, Akahihi is smart for monkey."

When everyone focused their attention on Shampoo, the cursed simian taunted her by placing her thumb on her nose, while wiggling her fingers, yet stopping as soon as the others turned back toward her.

"Well, with that settled, I supposed the blanket may not work if our new friend will not let go..."

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Riding in a huge basket carried by the winged warriors, Ranma found himself surround by four women, Kasumi was hugging him from the front, Akahihi had not left his back, while Shampoo and Kiima were cuddled to each of his arms. Some of the soldiers complained about their leader riding in the basket and not helping to carry it, but after a quick glare from her, they immediately dropped the topic. They enjoyed a long, and somewhat uncomfortable flight back to Tokyo, though some were far more comfortable than others. Everyone enjoyed the view as they made their way across the divide, especially those who had never left the mountain before. As they landed in Ranma's yard, some members of the Phoenix tribe were in open wonder at the strange western style buildings.

Kiima instructed her guards that they could return home, but did not leave herself. "Lady Kasumi, I wish to thank you for everything, and present you with this gift." As she held out he arm, a smaller raven flew over and landed on it with a squawk. "Rei here will stay with you, and allow you to send communications to us."

"That is so sweet of you! Why hello there, Rei, you are such a pretty girl." Kasumi tried to pet the little bird as Akahihi got distracted by a butterfly that fluttered passed.

"Pretty girl!" Said bird, squawked back at her new owner.

"Good girl." Kiima held out a small treat for the bird. "Most people do not know this, but ravens can mimic human speech as well as other sounds. They are one of the smartest animals in the world."

"Oh? My... Are you really that amazing, Rei?"

"Amazing!"

"You do want to be a bit watchful, they can be a bit mischievous, even the latch on this cage will not keep them inside if they choose not to be."

"Oh my..."

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"Please, do your best, Ranma, I know you can do it!"

"Mom!"

"Well, hurry yourself along now."

"I'm goin'!"

"Kasumi-dear, would you come here a moment?"

"MOM! I wanted ta do this alone!"

"Well, you cannot do that without the girl." Nodoka looked at him innocently.

"I know, but-..."

Kasumi stopped cold as she saw Ranma in the den. "Oh my! Anata, where did you get such a fancy black kimono?"

"Kasumi! Um, I uh, guess it used ta belong ta my grandfather."

"You wear it well, it looks very stylish on you!"

"Aw shucks, yer awful pretty yerself." Ranma anxiously rubbed the back of his neck, until his mother poked him from behind. "Uh, I mean, I've got somethin' fer ya." Reaching in to his pocket, he pulled out a small box, and nervously handed it over to the lovely young woman standing before him. "So, um, here."

Kasumi looked at the tiny container in her hands with a child-like wonder, her eyes wide, and her mouth flapping without a sound.

"Go ahead child, open it." Nodoka looked on excitedly, filming the entire exchange with her new video camera.

"Oh my..." Opening the package, Kasumi's jaw felt as though it had dropped to the floor as she saw the simple gold plated band. "Oh, oh, oh my, is this...?"

"Oh, terribly sorry, that was the wrong box! That is my favorite pill box, I wondered where that was. The women of the Saotome family tend to go through a lot of trials and tribulations, those are your father's erectile dysfunction medications, along with a few 'other' things for my own 'personal' benefit." After showing them the secret compartment, Nodoka ran out of the room, returning several moments later with a similar box in her hands. "Here you are, sorry about that!"

Opening the jewelry case himself, he offered it to Kasumi, as they both gazed at the sparkling ring. "Oh my!"

"So you like it, my dear?"

"It is beautiful!"

"It has been in my family for generations, and I would like you to have it."

"How could I accept this? It must be expensive!"

Ranma's lopsided smile caught her off guard as he got down on one knee. "By saying 'yes' when I ask ya ta marry me."

"Ranma! Are you...?" He just nodded in response as she started blubbering. "I DO!" Seeing the teardrops falling, he remembered her instructions and tenderly took her into his strong arms.

"Aiyaa! Is final done!" Shampoo burst into the room followed by her red-headed mimic, the pair throwing confetti and cheering for the cuddling couple.

"Now, as soon as you two give me some grandbabies, I can die a happy woman!"

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Arriving at the Tendo home, Nodoka found her husband in the living room, drinking with Soun and paying little attention to their surroundings. "So, this is what have you been doing while I was away?"

"AAAAHHH! Wife! You're back!"

Soun moved several pieces as his friend panicked and backed away. "Oh, good morning, Nodoka-shan!"

"Is THIS your breakfast?" The Saotome matriarch frowned at them disdainfully.

"Not entirely, Mousse made ush shomeshing before walking Akane-chan t' shchool, an' goin' t' work."

"So, you are still making that boy do everything around here, while you do ...'this'?"

"Well, that is a bit harsh, is it not, Nodoka-san?"

"I am not so certain." She felt tempted to encase them both in one of the special eggs she kept as souvenirs from their trip to China, but resisted the urge as she rubbed her temples. "Did you even notice that I was gone?"

"Of coursh! ...Why'd you think we're drinking? Am I right, Tendo-shan?" Genma laughed as if he had made the best joke in the world, but Soun recognized the look in her eyes, and tried to back away from his friend.

"So the fact that I was kidnapped, and stolen away to China matters to you not at all?" The cold steel in her stare cut right through them.

"What? We just thought you went back t' shtay with Ranma!" Soun looked distressed, he had no idea that she had been in danger.

"I would have TOLD you that! Did you even think to look for me, or did you simply start to party as soon I you saw that I had not returned that evening? Did you even wait one full day?"

"Well, 'no', but..." Genma flinched at the evil eye he received.

"Enough! I am going to unpack, you had best have this mess cleaned up by the time I return." Nodoka walked out of the room, seemingly calm, but with a dark aura that threatened to scald anyone who got too close. Having not been allowed to pack anything before her sudden trip, they had been kind enough to give her several outfits to change into for the remainder of the trip, and she threw most of it into the laundry before heading into the guest room she was sharing with her miserable excuse for a husband, where she started to gather her things, intending to take a long bath before she dealt with the two drunkards below.

Something felt out of place in the room, but she could not figure out what it was, and was so tired she did not want to think about it. However, when she went to return her pill case to her jewelry box, she noticed at least one thing that was most definitely amiss, the entire thing was empty! While she did not own much jewelry, there had been a few pieces of sentimental value, such as a necklace that her grandmother had given her, and now she had nothing. She took a moment to thank her ancestors for having taken the ring for Ranma with her that day, but once that was done, she allowed her frustration to fill her before shoving it all down into the back of her mind, where it could fester, and become a mental illness.

Calmly getting to her feet, she wiped the tears away and proceeded back into the hallway, leaving her clean clothing in a pile on the floor. Descending the stairs, she stood at the bottom, turning toward the kitchen, and calling out to them in a sickeningly sweet tone. "Husband dear, come here if you would like me to make you an egg..."

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Seeing her playing with her long braid with a forlorn expression on her cute features, Kasumi walked over to talk to their newest housemate. "What is wrong, Mizaru-chan? Are you okay?"

"Gets like this sometimes, usually when thinking about th' braid. I think th' poor girl misses having a tail."

"Really, is that why you are sad, you miss having a tail, do you?" Seeing her nod, Kasumi favored her with a reassuring smile. "Then I think I might have an idea. The last time your mother took me ...um, shopping, we stopped in a store that I believe might have a solution.

Both of them looked up to her with a curious expression.

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"Mizaru-chan! Would you please come here? I have something for you."

Within moments, the young red-head appeared before her with a smile on her lips. "Hai! Is here, uki!"

"I have your new tail, would you like me to show you how to wear it? It might be a bit uncomfortable at first, but we will start you off small, and I promise you will learn to enjoy it. The smaller ones are harder to keep in, but it will be more comfortable for you for now. First, I need you to take off your panties."

"But told Akahihi, 'wear in daytime'?"

"Yes, just for a moment, I will need to make an adjustment to them." Pulling out her sewing kit, she made a large 'buttonhole' on the back, before explaining what she needed to do. "First we need to make it all slippery."

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"KYAAAAAaaaaa!"

Hearing the scream, Ranma ran for the changing room, bursting through the door to see a happy Kasumi and Akahihi putting on her panties, as she threaded her tail through the hole in them. "Yer both okay?"

"Oh my yes! We had a bit of difficulty at first, someone got a little bit surprised, but everything is fine now. Is that not correct?"

Seeing her nodding as she hugged the end of her new tail to her chest, he was finally able to relax. "Oh good, ya had me worried there for a moment."

Kasumi leaned in to whisper to Ranma. "It's actually sold as a cat tail, but I think it's perfect, it even came in a matching red!"

It was still strange to see 'himself' looking back at him when he was not looking in the mirror, and more than once he had to check his own body to make certain he had not missed getting splashed again, but seeing her expectant expression, he knew what he had to do. "It looks good on you, Mizaru." He was almost bowled over as she dove to hug him him joy.

"Well, Shampoo-chan and Hinako-sensei should be back soon, so why not grab your things, and I will go make us a snack, okay?"

Ranma grimaced as thought about studying and Akahihi climbed onto his back, still hugging her tail with a broad grin on her face.

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"SURPRISE!"

Ranma had wondered what so many people were doing in their house as he got home, he had almost forgotten that it was even his birthday. Led by Kasumi, his friends and family gathered around, wishing him well, and some congratulating him on his pending nuptials.

"Tanjoubi, Dana-sama! I do hope you enjoy your party." A noticeably pregnant Kasumi straightened his collar before giving him a hug.

Blushing at the attention, he looked over the crowd to see everyone staring back at him intently. "Ain't birthday parties for kids?"

"Now, now, you will always be my baby and this is my last chance to dote on you as a mother now that you two can finally get married officially. Though I am certain that you enjoyed the last several months of being 'engaged' since we returned." Nodoka was also showing, not knowing that she had twins on the way.

They both blushed as they thought about their recent 'marital practice'. "Umm...?"

Nodoka turned toward her husband, yanking his ear. "Wish your son a happy birthday!"

"Happy birthday, Son."

"What's with Pops, short leash, huh?"

"You have no idea! We have no problems any more, do we boys?"

"No mistress!"

Kasumi found it very odd to see her own father joining his friend in his deferential treatment of the older woman, but chose to give it no further thought as her attention was pulled away.

"Is okay, Airen!" An equally pregnant Shampoo waddled up to him with a grin on her lips. "If no is type party like, soon plan many fun party for many beautiful babies!" Ranma gave his wife a light hug as he had to chuckle about her shifting back to her 'public' speaking voice.

"So manly!"

"Yes, Akahihi wish Airen have good party too, uki!" Standing there playing with her tail in one hand, she offered a package to him with the other.

For not the first time he wondered if having Shampoo helping the 'monkey-girl' was really the best idea, but he did not want to question Kasumi, and he had to admit that not only had she come along quite quickly, but the pair seemed to be getting along much better now, his 'clone' even going as far as to help her 'older sister' with various tasks, including washing him! He was not sure how he felt about that, but he had a hard time saying 'no' when the three of them looked at him with those sad eyes. "Thank you, Mizaru, I hope you are having fun as well."

Everyone who saw her joyous smile could not help but return it. "Best friends, uki!"

"Well, aren't you all adorable today?"

"Hey, thanks for coming Sensei."

"Happy birthday Saotome-kun, your grammar really is improving, I believe that you will be able to pass the equivalency exam very soon."

"Did you hear that Darling? We are almost ready to take the test!"

"I doubt you even needed the help in the first place Kasumi, I'd bet you could have passed without even trying!"

"Oh, I do not know about that, but it is more fun if we all do it together!" Her bright smile alleviated his misgivings before she turned back toward their tutor. "But Sensei, where is your 'date'? We did not expect you to be here alone."

"Me neither! I haven't seen that jerk in over a week!" She was starting to think that he had heard about Kasumi's pregnancy and snapped! "I had to close the office to patients. I really feel bad for those people, but I don't really know what else to do."

"If there is anything we can do to help you, let us know, okay?"

"Thank you, I knew I could always count on you guys."

"What is wrong Anata, you seem a little distracted."

He was a bit sad that Ukyo had not chosen to come, but he had heard that she had started going out with Konatsu, and that they were happily engaged now. He had to chuckle when he pictured her in a tuxedo and him in a frilly gown. "Naw, I'm fine."

"That is good, this is your party, you should enjoy yourself." Kasumi smiled at him as they turned to see several new arrivals.

"I knew you were mistaken dear sister, both of them are right there." Tatewaki was wheeled in by a beautiful woman with reddish-pink hair and wearing a nurse's uniform, still bandaged in places as he sat in his wheelchair.

"Ranma-sama! Did you ...fib to me?"

"What? No, of course not!"

"Then who, may I ask, is this woman?"

Stepping in front of Ranma protectively, she glared at the aristocratic woman. "Is 'Akahihi', friend from China, uki!"

"What happened to you, Pig-tailed Goddess, why are you speaking so strangely, and why do you have ...a tail?"

She turned away from him, protectively holding her tail, in case someone tried to take it from her. "Uki? Is nice tail!"

"Hey, lay off, ya jerk! For those of you who ain't met, this is Akahihi Mizaru, our friend from China, who also had a run-in with Jusenkyo, and got stuck that way. That's why we look alike, okay? Mizaru-chan's like family, an' if any of you mess with my little sister, you'll have ta answer to me! And that goes triple for you, 'Kuno-senpai', if you ever lay a finger-...!"

"Do not worry Ranma-sama, my onii-sama is already seeing someone." She nodded toward his caregiver. "A regular case of 'Florence Nightingale Syndrome'."

"Oh my...!" Everyone turned to look at the young home-nurse who was blushing in 'joy'.

"I know that we were not invited and I hope that we did not cause too much trouble, but we heard that it was your birthday party, and I wanted to pay our respects. From the Kuno family, we wish you and yours all the best. I placed our gift on the table with the others." Seeing him get a bit nervous, she tried to reassure him. "Do not be concerned, there is noting in there that will inconvenience anyone. We shall leave now..."

"Hey, ya ain't got to go if you both behave. We made plenty of food."

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Ukyo hated herself for not going to Ranma's birthday party, but not only was it still far too painful to see him with that other woman, but how could she show her face in front of him while her belly was this large? Considering how recently she started sleeping together with Konatsu, there was only one person who could have been the father, and she did not want anyone else to know about it! She knew, and that was all that mattered! It was a secret she planned to take to the grave.

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Kasumi walked out in her mother's wedding kimono, while Ranma stood there waiting for her in his grandfather's, looking just as handsome as she had ever seen him. She blushed as she felt as though Shampoo's new cursed form and their new cursed friend were batting butterflies in her stomach, looking around at her friends and family, all of whom were present. Everyone murmured as she walked passed, but she was so caught up in the moment that she could not hear a word they were saying, all she could do was to smile as she walked down the carpet, led by her father, who looked dapper in his own formal kimono.

It had not been easy to hide her larger belly under the kimono, but they had done an impressive job of it, if she did say so herself, and upon looking around the shrine, she noticed that she was far from alone in her condition! It seemed as though Akane might be one of the only ones NOT pregnant, and from what Nodoka would tell her during their visits, it was entirely possible that she and Mousse might not be far behind the rest of them. As she stepped up beside him, he let out a low whistle, and she winked at him. "Good afternoon Darling, you look very suave today."

Ranma whispered to her, not wanting to offend anyone. "Nobody's as pretty as my beautiful bride."

"Oh my." After bowing to the priests, they lined up in two single file lines, and began to play their various wind instruments with Ranma and Kasumi behind them followed by their parents. Everyone else had already taken their seats as the precession led them down the path and up to the shrine itself. Once they had entered the pavilion, they were seated before the head priest as he announced their marriage before the gods of their temple.

Handing Ranma a small sake dish, they carefully filled it from a golden ladle, covered in garish decorations. "This first cup symbolizes our appreciation for our ancestors." After Ranma sipped from the small cup, they handed it to her before refilling it.

Once she had finished the small drink, they took the cup, returning with a slightly larger one, handing it to Ranma and filling it as well. "This second cup symbolizes the earth, and your commitment to care for each other for the rest of your days."

After they had finished their second draught, the priest brought out a third, and even larger bowl for them to consume. Filling it for Ranma again, they stated, "And this third cup symbolizes people, as we hope your marriage is fruitful." Kasumi felt a bit guilty that she had to resist laughing during such a ceremony, in such a place, but she could not help at least blushing at the irony.

They were instructed to stand as Ranma was handed a scroll, which he quickly unrolled for them to see, before he began to red from it. "On this great day, before the O-Kami-sama, we stand, thankful for this ceremony, and everyone present. Going forward, we promise that we will always love each other, trust each other, sharing the good times and bad, and swear that this will remain unchanged throughout our lifetime and beyond. On this date, Husband."

"And Wife." Kasumi blushed as she said the word and Ranma carefully returned the scroll, it was finally official, just a few more moments and she would actually be his wife for real, not just for pretend!

Next they made an offering to the gods of the temple, with a sprig from a sacred tree and a small prayer, they bowed to the shrine, hoping the gods would look upon them with favor. Then came the final moments, when they turned toward each other, locking their gaze as they smiled. Ranma took the ring out of his pocket, and carefully slid it onto Kasumi's ring finger, mouthing the words, 'Thank you for having me'.

"Now, before the gods, and these witnesses, you are now and forever married." Miko spread out, going around the room, pouring a cup of sacred sake for each of the guests, so that they may all share a toast to the newlyweds.

Wanting to allow the two to have their moment, and not call unwanted attention to their living arrangement, Shampoo had done her best to stay in the background with Akahihi, but they both had to cheer as they raised the toast.

Nabiki was happy for her sister, but was still kicking herself for allowing Ryu to knock her up, she had always intended to adopt a child instead! Not only would it be easier on her figure, but it was SO much less painful! She was happy that they chose to serve non-alcoholic sake to the pregnant women at least. While she was a bit jealous over how nice everything was for the wedding, she had to admit, she had been happy with her own, much less expensive one they held in Ryu's dojo. It may not have been as fancy, but at least she did not have to dig into her savings to pay for it!

Akane still could not believe that it was her eldest sister Kasumi, who wound up marring Ranma, of all people, that would have been her last guess! She would have almost bet on Tatewaki before her! Their fathers were still pushing her to get married too, but if she was going to do that, it would be when SHE was ready, and not a moment before! She wanted to at least graduate high school first, there was still most of a semester to go!

Mousse was far less than thrilled to be involved in the ceremony, even if he was now 'officially' engaged to Akane, the idea of Ranma marrying both the divine Kasumi Tendo AND his goddess Shampoo filled him with an unreasonable sense of resentment, and he was looking forward to leaving as quickly as possible.

After drinking their toast, Soun and Happosai went off looking for a miko willing to give them refills, while Genma sat quietly next to his wife, hardly saying a word to anyone as he worked the camera.

One of the calmest guests present was Kodachi, who rivaled Genma for least number of words uttered over the course of the evening. Her heart remained broken, but her sanity endured. After watching the ceremony with tears in her eyes, she made certain to leave her wedding gift with the others before leaving, simply wishing that things could have been different as she had his nurse drag her brother home in his chair before he had a chance to make a fool of himself.

Hinako Ono sat next to where her husband should have been, a tear in her eye at the beautiful scene as she sat there, proud of her student's success. All three of them had managed to pass their equivalency exams, and she was even tutoring Kasumi for college entrance exams! She had always been successful as a disciplinarian, but this had been one of her most satisfying years as a 'teacher', and now she was actually going to be mother! It was not easy making certain not to get out of range of her fighting fish, but she was bound and determined to do it! She did not want to risk what might happen to her child if she shrank while pregnant.

Ranma and Kasumi decided to split-up and mingle with their friends, and while Kasumi went to talk with Nodoka about plans for their honeymoon, Ranma ran into Ukyo, who really wanted to be drinking heavily. "Hey, Ucchan, glad you came. Hope you're not still sore."

"Hey, Ah can't say it don't sting, but we're all pretty happy now, so Ah guess it all worked out okay." She looked down as she rubbed her own larger belly.

"So, where's the dad?"

"Closer than ya might think, Ranchan."

"Oh yeah?" Ranma looked around, and waved at Konatsu from across the yard, finding it strange to see the 'kunoichi' in men's clothing. "You guys going to keep dressing like this?" Ranma indicated the loose-fitting dress his old friend was wearing.

"Well, at least as long as Ah'm pregnant, get too many stares othahwise." She blushed, still unused to the idea that she was going to be a mother soon, and embarrassed at the fact that she was certain that her new husband was not actually the father.

"Nobody batted an eye at the Phoenix tribe's arrival, so, I doubt they'd give you much trouble here, but I am a bit hurt you didn't invite me to your wedding though."

"Yeah? Sorry, we didn't invite nobody, Ah was still kind'a mad."

"I'm sorry. I wish-..."

"No, don't, just drop it, okay? It's ovah. Let sleepin' dogs lie, an' all. 'Kay?"

"Yeah, sorry, I, I'm just glad you're both happy, you know?"

"Yeah, thanks Ranchan, it means a lot. Back at ya, yer lookin' good by th' way, but, uh, ya know, Ah think Ah need ta git goin'. Thanks fer invitin' us, uh, see ya around, okay?"

"Yeah Ucchan, you guys take care. Thanks for coming." He waved as she rushed over to her husband, turning away just in time to miss the sparkle of a tear streaming off of her face as she fled the scene, clearly still not completely over losing him.

It took every bit of his willpower not to fall down laughing when he found Ryoga, who was being led around by Akari on a leash. "Hey there, P-chan, How're you holding up?"

"Don't call me that!"

"Why not? I hear Akane might have finally gotten over that serious mad-on for you."

"What, really?"

"Yeah, but since you two are married, you might want to drop that line of thought before it starts."

"Ryoga-chan, you are not thinking of another girl, are you?"

"No! Akari, Honey! I didn't mean...!"

"Good luck, Buddy." Ranma left his 'friend' to handle his fiancee's teasing on his own, and continued his mingling.

"Son-in-law, congratulations! It seems you have set the next generation off to a roaring start!" The old woman slapped him on the back with a laugh.

"Thanks Granny, glad you could make it, though I don't know how I feel about that last part."

"You should be very proud, I am willing to wager that they are going to be very talented children."

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OMAKE 19

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Doctor Tofu Ono was in a good mood, his fiancee's pregnancy test had just come back positive, and he was out shopping for a gift to give her for when he gave her the good news! He had already picked up a bouquet of candy flowers, and was looking for the newest game she had been wanting, when he heard a voice from an alley calling for help.

As he followed the voice, he saw a larger man in a trench-coat, excitedly pointing to a manhole in the ground with black, red, and purple swirling around inside. "My dog fell in there, you've got to help me!"

"What? Your dog? I don't think-... What even IS that?"

"Said it was a 'Unicron Singularity', before the sign got sucked inside."

"You probably ought to stay away from there, it doesn't look safe..."

"But what about my daughter?"

"'Daughter'? But you said-...?"

"Oh, my ...doctor fall down!" The man's sing-song voice held an element of taunting to it.

Before he realized it, he felt the man push him from behind and he was falling, feeling his body distorting as he tumbled into the aether.

"Have a nice 'trip', and thanks for the caaaandyyyy..."

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"Hey, are you okay? How do you feel?" Tofu awoke to see a red-headed young man, wearing a sweater-vest.

"Oh, my head is pounding, and I feel like every molecule in my body was taken apart and put back together."

"That is pretty close to the truth as we know it." The other man pointed to a large black ball that sat not far from them. The sphere looked incredibly out of place in the cartoony-looking land in which he found himself, but he could see no details on it of any kind.

"What is that thing?"

"Don't really know. Calls itself the 'GANTZ', all we know for sure is when one of us falls into one of them crazy things, we get printed out here. It's really disgusting!"

"And that is how I got here just now?"

"Yup, pretty much, watched it fabricate you myself."

"And who are you? If you do not mind me asking. That is a strange way you have of speaking, I cannot say I recognize it."

"Oh, yeah, I'm sorry, how rude of me. I am Chuck, Chuck Cunningham, and I'm from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Been here longer than just about anyone else here."

"Isn't that part of the United States? Is that English then?"

"Of course, this place does something to us, we can almost all understand each other, and we don't age here."

"That's pretty interesting, but what do you mean 'almost'?"

"Not all of us are humans, we can't always understand some of them. I guess things like dogs and whatever that 'Jigglypuff' think is don't think in normal words, so there is nothing to translate. At least that's what Sheila thinks, I can't say I understand it at all."

"Well, that is all well and good, but how do we get out of here? I have a fiancee to get back to at home."

"Generally, we don't. Once in a while we wake up and someone is gone, we never know what happened to them, and there is never any sign of them, but no one has ever found another way out. You are now the newest resident of Plotholia. Come on, let me introduce you to the other Plotholians. This puppy here is Pel, over there is Launch, from a very weird earth ...be careful if she sneezes. Chrissy Snow lives over there near Danna Drake. If you go that way, you might see Mary Jane Waterbuffalo, almost as strange as that ...Jigglypuff!"

Before they could take another step, the strange little thing pulled a microphone out of nowhere, and began to sing...

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Omake 20

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Tatewaki Kuno has been eyeing the 'pig-tailed' girl all evening, trying to figure out why she had been acting so strangely, and everything in his mind always came back to the newest additions to her appearance ...that tail! It HAD to be the cause! He could think of no other reason for the change, that black wizard had to have given her the cursed object to enscroll her mind, and make her compliant to his evil machinations!

Being stuck in his wheelchair, he had few options and no weapons on hand. He could not ask his nurse to do this, it needed to be by his own hand after all! At least his left arm had healed enough to use, and so taking one of the utensils from the buffet, he tossed the ki imbued cutlery, slicing through Akahihi's tail. "There now you shall be free of the mind control!"

She picked up her severed accessory, holding it up, with teary eyes as she started to bawl. It took some of them several moments before they realized what happened, and Kasumi ran over to take the crying girl into her arms. "Do not worry, we can fix it for you, and I will get you another one soon. Okay? Let's go inside."

As she took the sad young woman into the house, the sky seemed to darken as Ranma walked over to Tatewaki with the look of death in his eyes as he cracked his knuckles. "I told you what would happen if you hurt my 'little sister', didn't I?"

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End Omake

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NOTES

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'Monkey on your back' - A western idiom referring to an addiction, a burden, or 'persistent problem'. We also have Ranma, here with his cat, bird, and now monkey girls as he journeys back from the west. ;p

Well that's just about it for the main story! Sorry these last couple of chapters took so long, there was a lot of work to do on them, and my real life got busy this week (I didn't even know I had one). That said, it is the first fic to use the monkey-girl in this way (nobody will ever check, my plan is perfect...! Muahahahahah...)! ;)

There was supposed to be one more character mentioned in the first omake this time, Seven the adopted child from Married ...With Children, but he fell in a plot hole, from within the plothole, so...

In the next/final chapter, which I hope to have out ASAP, I will be introducing their children, would you prefer the list at the beginning, or the end? Let me know.

Come back one last time for, 'Like Taking Candy from a Doctor', or 'Everybody Loves Kasumi'!


	54. Chapter 54

Notice: If you are unhappy with this chapter for any reason, please return it along with a self addressed, stamped envelope for a full refund.

Sorry this took so long, I hope you find it was worth the wait.

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Chapter 54 - Epilogue 01

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"And that kids, was how I met your mothers, oh, and um, aunties too I suppose."

"But then, why's 'Sumi-mama younger than you, Papa?"

Ranma chuckled, rubbing Puma's head of black hair as he thought about how difficult it was cultivating the aging mushrooms. "That, my fuzzy little girl, is because 'someone' likes older men."

"Who do?" Little Carrot looked stumped.

"PAPA! Please don't mess up my hair!" Ranma chuckled as his cat-girl daughter tried to straighten her dark blue braid.

"I wanna younger boy when I grow up!" The child with the blue eyes and short brown hair stood up with her excited proclamation.

"Really Tenma-chan, why is that?" Ranma looked genuinely curious.

"Then all th' other girls'll be jealous!"

"Yer too bratty fer any boy!" Her older brother stuck his tongue out at her as his long black hair fell into his face, covering his brown eyes.

"KAZUMA!" The young boy dodged with a laugh as his little sister started swinging her fists and kicking at him.

"I think Ten-chan just wants ta be th' one doing th' bullyin'." A young girl with dark green hair tied into twin braids streaming down her back, pushed her glasses back up her nose as she watched the fight, hoping 'Aunty Kasumi' would allow her to help tend to their wounds when they were done.

Tenma's twin brother nodded. "I think yer right, Fuko-chan. Here, I brought ya some juice!" He brushed his dark-brown hair out of his face, hope sparkling in his bright blue eyes.

"Thanks, Kenma-kun. I'm glad Mommy let me stay over again today."

Wanting to prevent this from becoming a huge brawl with all of the children present, Ranma stepped in between them. "Hey now, save it for the dojo, kids. If you want to fight, we can have a proper match."

"But Daddy, Onii-chan started it!"

"No, you started it, I watched you throw the first punch. Your brother said something rude, but that does not give you the right to start hitting, you need to use your words first. Okay? Remember, the art is for defense."

"Yes, Daddy." Tenma hung her little head in shame.

"Okay then, you kids run along and play now."

"But we wanna hear more stories, Ran-ji-chan!" A little girl dressed in ninja garb looked up at her 'uncle'.

"Yeah, yer stories're much better 'an our parents'." The young boy in the chef outfit joined his younger sister in asking for more tales.

"Now, now, Yucchan, Natsuko-chan, we can talk more after lunch. You should go play with the others."

"Can Ah he'p wit' lunch?" Holding his little kote, the black haired young cook's blue eyes sparkled.

"Onii-chan, I don't want okonomiyaki again! Th' food's so much better here when you don't help!" Pulling on her own brown ponytail, the tiny kunoichi looked up at her brother with her wide, pleading brown eyes.

"Don't let Ma here ya say that!" Despite the offensive remark about his cooking, Yumio took it in stride, having gotten used to such insults from hi younger sister.

"Yeah, yeah, yer th' one that's gonna inherit th' family recipes. What'd I care? If Mama kicks meh out, I can come stay wit' Ranma-ji! Right?" The small girl jumped into her 'uncle's' arms.

"Well of course, but I know Ucchan would never do that! Besides, Konatsu-chan would not let anything happen to you either."

"Is Fuma-chan coming this time?" Nabiki's hopeful son tugged on Ranma's pants.

"No, Ryuki, aunty Kiima was too busy this time to make the trip."

"Aaw..."

"If you want to write a letter, we can send it to them, and you can say you are thinking about them."

"Ki-ki and Fuma, sittin' in a tree-..."

"SHUT-UP, Tatsuki! You shouldn't talk! You're not my REAL sister anyway!"

"Whoa! I don't want to hear that kind of talk! How would you feel if someone said that to you? What if I said that you were not my real nephew?"

"But ...y'are!"

"I know, but if I yelled that at you, it would not feel nice would it?"

"NO! You're our favorite Uncle! Don't make me leave!"

"I would never do that, I love all of you, you are 'all' part of my 'real' family, so I do not want to hear you saying anything that mean again, okay?"

"Okay, Ji-chan!"

"Most of us don't get to pick our families, but you two are family by choice. You are even more than family, you are 'nakama', and that is even better, okay?"

Ryuki and his adopted sister Tatsuki both bowed as they nodded in subdued agreement. "Yes, Ranma-ji-chan!"

"Good, now give your old Uncle a hug and go play." As they were hopping down, he slipped a small piece of candy into their hands, planning to put their extra energy to use when they started training in a while.

"Are you still doing okay out here, Anata?" Kasumi poked her head out through the back door.

"Oh, yeah, we are all having fun, aren't we kids?" They all looked over at the couple and cheered before resuming their games.

"I always knew that you would be a great father!"

"Aw, it's easy, and besides, Shampoo-chan'll be back from the meeting with Nabiki soon, so don't you worry about us and get to class." Ranma kissed her on the cheek before giving her a reassuring smile. "I know you will do great on your exams, we couldn't be more proud of you, the first Saotome to get a degree! Should we start calling you 'sensei' now?" He glanced over, making certain that Carrot was not getting into something again, he could be especially troublesome.

"Do not jinx me! I have not even passed yet, and then I will have to find a job, and-..."

Ranma put his hands on his unnerved wife's shoulders and looked into her eyes. "Aisai, trust in yourself, I know I do. Once you graduate, Mom promised to take the kids and Mizaru for a bit, and the three of us can go on a second honeymoon, anywhere you want!"

"Oh my..."

A small boy, with a stripped bandanna, green shirt, and blue overalls, came running out of the house with a small metallic cylinder in his hands. "Look-it what I found! Look-it buzzes when I turn this part!"

Ranma ran over, quickly snatching the vibrator from the child's hands, replacing it with another shiny toy. "Sorry about that, Kobuto, that is one of Auntie Kasumi's toys, you can play with this one, okay?"

"What took so long, Kobuta? You get lost in the bathroom?" A young girl with long black hair teased the other boy.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT, SUNE! I'm not a pig!"

"But, Tonji, you are so CUTE when you are angry!" Akane's daughter winked at him as she poked him and turned to run.

"Hey! Only my MOMMY can call me that!" The frustrated lost boy's little aura flared up as he fumed.

"Now, now, no fighting right here. What did I tell you before?"

"If we are going to fight, do it in the dojo!"

Looking over to where their neighbors' house used to be, Ranma hoped that they were still doing well with their child. "Good, now play nicely." Walking back over to his wife, Ranma discreetly handed the 'massager' back to Kasumi, who gasped as she realized what had happened. "I thought you had these put away?"

"Oh my, I must have forgotten to lock the drawer!"

"You said you were going to start keeping them all in the secret room, the kids are starting to get into everything, we need to be careful for a while."

"It just takes so long to get in there!" She winked as she stuck her tongue out at him before running back into the house to hide her toy.

Ranma sat back on the porch, almost happy she ran back inside, if only to give him an excuse to give her another 'good-bye kiss' before she left.

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"Shampoo-chan, how'd the meeting go?"

Shampoo hugged and kissed her husband in loving greeting. "There were no problems, Airen! We just needed to sign some papers for Nabiki, approve the employee reviews and pay raises, that sort of thing. But how about you, taking care of all of these kids by yourself?"

"We're all getting along just fine, aren't we?"

"Yeah!" Many of the children cheered their favorite uncle.

"Ranma-ji-chan even let us play horsey!" Natsuko bounced around in her excitement over the fun day.

"Wanna ride again!" Carrot was first to jump on Ranma's back.

"Okay kids, get in line."

Shampoo whispered into his ear, while slipping back into her old sing-song speech pattern for effect. "Aiyaaa... After kids go sleep, Shampoo want ride Airen too!"

"Hey kids, it looks like Aunty Shampoo wants to play too! ...PILE ON!"

"What? AIYAAA...!" Shampoo fell over as she was tackled by almost every child present, rolling onto her back as she started hugging them back.

"Tickle time!" Ranma grabbed one of her feet, and started lightly brushing the bottom of it with his fingertips.

Having trouble breathing, Shampoo could barely choke out the words as she giggled. "Make ...Airen ...pay ...later!" Her laughter exploded as the children redoubled their efforts, not wanting anyone to threaten their favorite uncle ...or father!

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Kasumi felt that she had done reasonably well on her exams for that day, though she was particularly concerned about a few questions that seemed as though they might have been trying to trick her. The house was much more quiet than she had expected considering how many children were staying with them during the days, it was as if Ranma was running a day-care center! She had grown a bit concerned until she had peeked into the new playroom they had built to see all of the children napping peacefully, and that only left one question. 'Where were the adults during all of this?'

Following their auras, she started to hear pained grunts as she tracked them to the bedroom. As Kasumi threw open the door to the master bedroom, their unintelligible voices grew louder and she saw her spouses doing exactly what she thought her ears had detected, with her husband behind their wife, and his hands resting on her curvaceous hips. "Oh my! Is this how you 'take care of the children'?"

"Well, it IS nap time..." Ranma smirked, but hesitated in his thrusting.

Shampoo lifted her face out of the pillow she had been using for support, turning to the side, her breathing rough, and her voice harsh. "...Is, taking break..."

Kasumi's right eyebrow rose as she looked down at them with a stern expression. "Without me?"

"We WERE thinking about you, my love." Ranma looked appropriately remorseful, though he did not slow his movements, in fact he might have even sped up a bit!

"Is true, we ...celebrating ...you passing test!" Shampoo was so caught up in her feelings of pleasure that her grasp on the language was failing.

Kasumi had to resist giggling at her wife's inability to speak when she would get too excited, but she did not want to lose her effect. "I have not passed yet."

"We have faith in you!"

"It looks as though you have something else, IN someone else at the moment, A-na-ta..." She let her voice drip with the sarcastic tone she had heard her sister use so many times before as she pulled out her whip. "Perhaps you would like to tell me exactly how any of this helps ME celebrate?"

"Is sorry, get ahead of self! Just want get done, before Onee-sama need turn!"

Before they realized it, Kasumi had removed her clothing, and was wearing a skimpy leather harness. "How about we see exactly how 'sorry' you are, what do you think?"

Both of them separated and moved almost instantly at the crack of the whip, bowing at Kasumi's feet. "Yes Mistress!"

As they began to 'service' their 'Queen', Shampoo turned to whisper to the Ranma, "Next time, Shampoo want to play the dominant one."

"Shhhh..."

"Did you have something to say?"

"No Mistress!" They both replied in unison!

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"Congratulations, Kasumi-'SENSE'I!" Ranma grinned as they looked up at the grade postings showing how well she had done on her exams.

"Thank you, Goshujin-sama." She had to fight to hold back the tears of happiness.

"We're all really proud of you!" Shampoo wanted to hug her from behind, but knew she would be embarrassed by it, so simply patted her on the shoulder.

"Even the kids have been asking if you will be their teacher soon."

"Oh my, I have not been hired anywhere, but I suppose that I can apply at their school first."

"Aiyaa! Wouldn't that be fun?"

"Oh yes, I do believe-..." Kasumi's thoughts were interrupted as they heard someone's laughter approaching from behind them.

"Oh ho ho ho... Ranma-sama, is that you?"

Ranma let out a sigh as he resigned himself for the confrontation before turning around to face her. "Kodachi, it's been a while. Do you, go here?"

"Yes, it has been taking me a bit longer than it should for my degree, but I am happy with how things are going."

"Oh my, did something happen?"

"Well, I had to take about a year off when my Kobara was born, and once Sasuke had to return to my brother after the wedding-..."

"What, you got married?"

"No, Tacchi did." She stated matter-of-factly.

"What? Who'd marry that guy?"

"Dana-sama!"

"No, it is fine, many of us wonder much the same thing. In fact, I am doing a paper on the Florence Nightingale effect in response to that very event."

"What, you mean-...?"

"Yes, the private nurse we hired to care for the fool has decided to, stay on permanently, as it were, and I chose to leave them in peace."

"You mean, you are on your own?"

"Yes, it has been difficult to keep up with everything, even with my limited class loads, but I hope to finish my psychology degree soon." Kodachi remembered some of the things she had gone through since she had given-up any hope of marrying Ranma, and while there were a number of things she regretted, having her son was not one of them!

The three of them exchanged wide-eyed glances before Shampoo broke the slightly awkward silence. "If you need help with having time for more classes, we can take care of your son during the days."

"Are you kidding? You would do that, for me?"

"Yeah, it kind of feels like I'm watching everyone's kids anyway, what's one more?"

"Ranma-sama, you mean YOU are the one caring for the children?"

"Yeah, is that a problem?"

"Not at all, it makes me ...very happy." On some level she imagined that would be almost as good as him being the father of her child, if he was helping to raise him. "What, would you need me to do?"

"I don't know, just drop the little guy off in the mornings once classes start again, or do you need one of us to meet you somewhere for a pick-up?"

"Why are you doing this for me? How much money do you require?"

"Hey, look, you've come a long way, I just want to see you keep getting better, besides, I'm sure the kids will love to have another playmate."

"Aiyaa! A couple of them do love to care for the younger kids."

"Oh my, that will be nice then, will it not?"

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As Ranma started to unload the children from the back of the car, Carrot jumped on his mother's back, and within moments, she had done the same to him. "You know, that make leaning into the car rather difficult."

"But is fun, ride back is nice, uki!" She squeezed him tightly from behind while Shampoo eyed them with a bit of a jealous expression.

She wanted to say something, but did not want to make a scene in front of the children, so settled for simply saying, "Go ahead and 'ride' Airen now, but I am taking the first turn when we get there."

Getting out of the driver's seat, Kasumi looked over at her co-wife with a grin. "That is what you think, Shampoo-chan. Is it not 'my' celebration?"

Seeing the look she was receiving, the young mother quickly became sedate. "Yes, Mistress!"

"So, you decided to come 'play' with us again, did you Hinako-senpai?" Kasumi teased the woman who had inspired her to become a teacher, or even go back to school in the first place.

Turning to make sure none of the children could hear her, she whispered her embarrassed reply. "Well, a woman has needs, and who else will have me?" It was not as if she could even get a divorce, her only option would be to have her husband declared dead, and that could cause other problems...

Not being able to resist, Ranma leaned in to whisper back at her. "Any normal guy'd be happy to 'have you', Hinako-chan."

"Oh, Onii-chan! You are so nice to me!" She batted her eyelashes at him as they locked up the car.

It took no small amount of effort to herd the children to the Tendo estate, but between them, they managed not to lose anyone. "Come on kids, let's go see Baba and Soun-jii-chan." No one expected much from Genma any longer, he simply did as Nodoka instructed, and nothing more.

They cheered as they waited for him to open the gate before running passed him and up to the door, with the adults following close behind. They quieted down as one of them knocked on the door, trying to be on their best behavior for their grandmother. Though, the woman who answered the door was almost as surprised as they were as she was bowled over the hoard of offspring. "AUNTIE AKANE!"

"Auntie Nodoka and Dad are in the dojo with Sune. Why don't you go ...'play' with them?" Akane glared at the newcomers, clearly not thrilled with their arrival. "Always knew you were a pervert. Just look at this!"

Ranma was feeling guilty, considering how many women were the mothers of his children, when Kasumi stepped on front of him. "Now, now, Akane-chan, there is no need to feel jealous, just because you were unable to seduce our darling."

"NO! I'm not! I'd never...!"

"Violent-One being a mother tells us a different story..." Shampoo stuck her tongue out at her former rival. "But I don't blame you for not wanting to admit it, Stupid Mousse is not near as manly as our Airen."

"What? No! It's not like that!"

Ranma chuckled as he watched the scene. "How many times did you believe me when I said that?"

"That's different!"

"Yeah, yeah... Tell Mom we said 'thanks for watching the kids', and give Mousse our condolences."

Her blind husband called out from within the house. "I heard that!"

Shampoo called back to her former stalker. "Sure didn't SEE it though, did you?" Mousse was happy they could not see him cringe.

"Just get out of here, you perverts!"

After plucking Carrot off of his mother, and handing him over to Akane, Ranma grinned. "Have fun with the kids, don't let them give you 'too' hard a time." Ignoring as his son climbed onto Akane's back, instinctively looking for parasites, he turned his attention back toward the four women who came with him. "Are you ladies ready to go then? Hakone is waiting for us!"

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After a long day of seeing the sights, the group got a number of stares as they checked into their hotel, not only for the general spectacle, but also having asked for the largest room they had available for all of them. "You've returned ...and you've brought 'friends'! Are you sure that one room is enough?" The okami winked at Kasumi who blushed in response.

"Oh my, no, I believe that would be too much for us!"

Upgrading their room on a night that was not busy was one thing, but giving them a free room on the weekend was not something the older woman could do. "Very well." She eyed the large luggage they had with them, and her back reminded her again of their last trip, and it showed in her tentative voice. "Did you need help with your ...'gear' this time?"

"Nah, don't worry, it's easier if I just get it myself." Handing one of the bags to the 'monkey-girl' on his back, he piled the rest of the suitcases on top of a rater large trunk before hefting it into his arms with ease, and completely undaunted by the fact that his face was totally blocked.

He followed their auras into the room before carefully setting down his burden, not wanting to damage the building, and then helped his passenger unload her own. "Okay, it's time to get down now, we are here."

Shampoo grinned as a depressed Akahihi climbed off of her airen, and as no sooner had she moved out of the way, then Shampoo had taken her place, nuzzling into his shoulder as she purred. "Told you."

Ranma just sighed at the inevitable, as Mizaru took that as a challenge, and hopped on Shampoo's back, ducking to keep from bumping her head. He shook his head at what his life had become, he might have put his foot down over the whole matter, if it were not such good strength training.

The okami's eyes widened as she watched their antics, wondering what kind of mess they may have to clean in the morning. "If there is nothing else that we can do for you for now, I will leave you to your ...business."

The old woman backed her way out of the room, unable to even blink until closing the door had broken visual contact, and even then she could not help but to stay and listen.

As soon as the door latched behind the woman, Kasumi's attitude drastically changed, and they saw a gleam in her eye. "Okay now, everyone behave!" As soon as the girls had climbed off of Ranma, and Hinako had stopped looking around the room, she cracked her whip. "The last one to be changed and ready will get ...punished."

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A nervous Hinako had fumbled with her buttons, preventing her from getting undressed before the others, resulting in her being the final one kneeling before Kasumi's leather booted feet. Pulling out a harness, she glared at the tardy member of their group. "You two, get our husband ready while I take care of this ...problem." She threw the leather restraints at the taller woman, instructing her to put it on and follow her.

"Now it is 'Shampoo's' turn, yes Airen?" Shifting back into her cuter 'childish' speech now that the group was alone, she nuzzled up to her husband, planting kisses all over his body, while doing her best to ignore the red-headed copy-cat, who did not want to be left out of the fun. Not to be caught off-guard, Shampoo jumped on top of him, pushing her friendly rival to the side as she locked lips with him and slid over his member with a sudden grunt, followed by her 'cooing' in pleasure.

At first the young woman played with herself while kissing them as she took a back-seat to her 'senpai', she knew that she was the lowest ranking female in their pack, but that did not mean that she wanted to be neglected either. She had learned a lot watching the others over the years since they had taken her in, and she knew what to do.

Shampoo was surprised by the tongue that began to probe her from behind, but she was far too caught up in the moment to protest, and soon it was helping her to reach new heights of pleasure. Once it entered her rectum, the other woman's hands started to reach around her to play with some of her other sensitive areas. It took almost no time at all for her to be racked with wave after wave of ecstasy crashing all around her.

Ranma had not seen his bouncing bride so 'active' in some time, and he wanted to respond in kind. He was so caught up in trying to please her, that he almost missed it as she passed-out on top of him, drool running down his chest.

"Uki, uki! 'Hihi-chan helped!" She proudly lifted the unconscious female off of her 'alpha', eager to take her turn. Turning back, she met with Ranma's lips.

"Yes, you certainly did."

"Kyaaaa!" She cried out in joy as he accepted her into his embrace. As their tongues tangled and her hands roamed over her own body, she used her feet to gently grasp him, and began to gently stroke, ecstatic that he seemed to be pleased.

"Whoa! You're really going to town! I didn't think even I was that flexible!"

"'Hihi-chan make happy! Uki! Uki!" She did not give him a chance to reply as she pressed their lips together again. Feeling that he was starting to leak and was getting slick from more than Shampoo's juices, she felt he was ready. She broke off the their embrace as turned around, while still trying to see his face. Plucking out her recently larger anal plug, she pointed at her bottom. "Give 'Hihi-chan you tail now, uki?"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Oh, Onii-chan! That-... That was wooooonderful!"

"Is true, Shampoo still no can walk..."

"Or talk." Ranma rolled over and kissed her on the lips to cut off any protest.

"You want to try some gum?" Hinako offered some of her personal supply.

"Will help?"

"Probably not, I just wanted to see if you could still chew."

"Would hit if could move..."

"Oh my, where is Mizaru-chan?" Her energy spent, Kasumi had returned to her typical, much more 'submissive' personality.

"Went outside, probably in the hot-spring." Ranma pointed toward the back door, but made no attempt to move.

"A long soak certainly sounds nice, does it not?" There was a hopeful longing in her voice, yet she made no further motion.

"Aiyaa, is true."

"What do you think we should do about it?" Hinako could barely even turn her head to look at the others.

"Fine, I get it." Figuring she had the most strength to hang on, he hefted Shampoo onto his back before cradling each of the others in one of his strong arms.

"Oh my, I like where you have your hand!" Kasumi squealed as she rested her head on his shoulder.

Ranma grinned as he squeezed their buttocks before heading back to the showers. As he exited the building, and into the open-air bathing area, he was surprised to see his excitable doppelganger had made a small furry friend. "Uki, uki...?" They both nodded before the squirrel jumped on her head, and she hopped onto Ranma's as he grunted under the sudden shift in weight.

"Mizaru-chan, what are you doing?" Ranma blew on it, to try to get her tail out of his face.

"Hikkaku-chan, is that you?" Kasumi looked up, sorry that she did not have any treats with her at that moment.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kodachi still felt as if she were dreaming, she had spent her entire vacation wondering if she had imagined the whole thing, and that she was going to show up on his doorstep only to have them call the authorities to take away the 'crazy woman' who was harassing them! Her mind raced as she went over every possible scenario she could think of for how her visit might go, she had even left extra early, in case she needed to find other arrangements before her first class of the day started. She barely even noticed her son messing up her hair as he rode on her shoulders.

As she rang the bell, she tensed up, preparing for anything, including having to protect her son from an attack. What she was not expecting was Ranma to answer the door, with two children on his shoulders, one in his arm, one clutching his leg, and that red-headed copy of him on his back! "Oh, hey, g'morning, Kodachi-chan, I didn't expect you this early. Come on in, you want some coffee, tea, how about some breakfast?"

"Ranma-sama?" She could not believe what she was seeing or hearing! Not only did she think she heard him call her '-chan', but there was just something about seeing a guy who was good with children that she found ...appealing.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry, it can be a bit crazy in the mornings while I am getting the older ones ready for school. Just ignore the mess, I'll have it cleaned back up in no time."

"Oh, no, it is not a problem..." She found herself being dragged through the house, and into the dining room.

"Here, have a seat, and I'll go get you something, I was about to call everyone to the table anyway. Do you prefer coffee or tea?"

"Coffee?"

"Great, and how do you take it?"

"Black?"

"Of course you do..." Ranma grinned at her, something she expected she would never see again, as he helped the kids, including her own, into their places around the table before leaving so quickly she barely saw him move. She had never actually seen the inside of his house, and had it not had a clearly 'live-in' look due to the nature of children, it was quite nice, in some ways, almost nicer than her old mansion, though it was done in a western style. She had not seen such luxuries in years, living as she was on her small monthly stipend.

As the rest of his family started to file into the room, she was shocked to see Hinako joining them and looking as she had just awoken! Shampoo eyed her cautiously for a moment, but just smiled as she passed. Kasumi sat at the foot of the table, very near her, and actually spoke to her. "Ohayo-gozaimasu, Kodachi-chan. I am glad you could join us for breakfast."

"Really?"

"Of course, we have not been able to talk since all of that trouble happened, and I wanted to know how you were doing?"

"Things are ...progressing. I cannot really complain." 'Not after what I have done.'

"That is nice to hear. What about your studies?"

"Well, I should be able to get my masters soon, but it will be some time before I manage to get a doctorate. Though, I do not have to do that right away, I can start looking for work once I get this degree, and then I can keep taking night classes."

"But, won't that take much longer?"

"Yes, but my little Kobara-chan deserves a better life, and it means I will be able to start helping people that much sooner."

"What a lovely goal you have!" Any further discussion was cut off by Ranma entering the room, arms loaded down with plates of food as he started passing them out to everyone before giving them drinks.

"...And here is your coffee."

"Oh, thank you Ranma-sama, you are too kind."

"Aw, don't worry about it." He rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment before getting more serious for a moment. "Kobara here is going to be hanging out here with you guys, and I want you all to play nice together."

"Yes daddy!"

"Especially you Carrot." He looked down at the child sitting nearest to the newcomer, figuring the pair were closest in age, so would be spending the most time together anyway.

"Okay, promise!" The young child happily responded before digging back into his enormous breakfast.

Kodachi was starting to relax, glad that she had given herself the extra time that morning before she had to be at school. She absently started to pick at her food as she watched her son starting to chat with the energetic boy ...with a TAIL? 'That can't be 'real' could it?' She could not believe her eyes as it seemed to move with his mood, even gripping onto the chair he was in, so he could leave further forward to get more food!

"Carrot! How many time do I need to remind you that you do not lean over the table?"

"I don't know?"

Ranma just shook his head, as he rubbed his temples. "If you want something, ask one of us. If I catch you doing it again, not only will there be no dessert, but I will not let you train for a week! Do I make myself clear?"

His mood dampened, a subdued Carrot looked worried. "Yes Daddy..."

'Daddy? How many...? Wait a moment...' She looked around the room, starting to see the resemblance between Ranma and most of the children present, before she noticed that another one of them seemed to not only have a similarly moving tail, but a light layer of fur as well! If she had not already felt as though she were dreaming, she certainly did at that point. She was starting to wonder if she had taken too much of her sleeping powder after all...

Considering it was a room full of children, they ate in relative silence which gave the young woman plenty of time to notice something. "Kasumi Tendo, you truly deserve your reputation, this food is delightful!"

"Oh my no, I did not have time to prepare anything today, Goshujin-sama made all of this!" Her honest smile told her that she was not teasing her, but found it to be one more thing she was having a difficult time believing. It reminded her of being on an old television program called, the Twilight Zone.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Having enjoyed a more extravagant breakfast than she could remember in years, Kodachi watched as her son played with the 'monkey-boy', and was happy to see them getting along as the others continued their morning preparations. Still having some time before she needed to leave, and wanting to make certain that there were no problems, she continued to observe them in their morning routine.

She was amazed when she saw her son's new playmate showing off how strong he was, which was quite impressive for his size. At least with her son spending time here, he was likely to stay fit! There was a little playground set up between the house and their new dojo, which she did not remember seeing the last time she was there, though she had to admit, she had not seen much of the place, and was not particularly focused on it at the time.

She barely even noticed as things almost seemed to clean up after themselves as the children and women got themselves ready. She had not seen Ranma around in a while, and yet she got the feeling that he was all around her, as well as being completely indispensable to what was happening. Suddenly, he appeared before her, in a manner that would have made most ninja she knew green with envy, with a warm smile on his handsome features.

"Would you like some more coffee or anything, Kodachan?"

"What? Ranma-sama?" She wanted to pinch herself to see if she was dreaming, she was finding it incredibly strange for him to be so friendly with her, she had no idea how to react.

"I said, 'Would you like some more coffee', food, or maybe you would like to get in a good soak with the others before you have to leave?"

"Oh, oh dear, some more coffee would be lovely. It was very good."

"Thank you, I will be right back." She barely had time to blink as he vanished and returned with the pot in hand to refill her cup. "Are you certain you don't want to hop in before the kids start to get their baths? You don't want to go after them, trust me."

"Ranma-sama, are you certain that you are not just trying to get me to remove my clothing?"

"Of course not! I would never do that!" With less disappointment than she would have assumed, she got the response she had expected, at least it stung less than it had when he was younger. "Though I'm sure it's quite a sight to see."

She was left flatfooted as he winked at her before vanishing from the room, taking the coffeepot with him as he left.

Even her own dreams did not treat her that nicely of late, so she was fairly certain that she was awake, but she could not help but begin doubting her own sanity once again. "What is going on here?"

She had not expected an answer to her rhetorical question, but just then one of the taller boys walked up to her with an honest expression. "It is mommy bath time, while Daddy helps the little ones brush their teeth!"

"Then what are you doing out here?"

"I finished already!" The proud boy finished tying his braid and smiled up at her after bowing. "Good morning! I am 'Kazuma', by the way. It is very nice to meet you!"

"Hello Kazuma, I am 'Kodachi', Kobara's mother. It is a pleasure to meet such a polite young man, such as yourself."

"Thank you. Did you know you are a very pretty lady? I hope you visit again, but I have to finish getting ready for school now."

Blushing, she returned his smile. "Well, aren't you just the little charmer?" She nodded to him as he bowed to leave. She had considered taking them up on the offer of 'mommy bath time', it had been a long time since she had been in a non-public bath that was large enough to actually allow her to stretch out completely, but she was worried she might not like going back to her modest home after that.

As she watched the happy children running around, some playing, while others were getting ready for school, despite the oddities, she felt like this would be a good place for her own child, and the last of her concerns over his safety faded from her mind.

"Hey, come back here!" She looked up just in time to see a wet and naked toddler running passed her in the halls. "I'm gonna get you!"

Having stopped, he hid behind her, tail wrapping around her leg! "It's REAL!"

"Kyaaa!" As Ranma started forward, Carrot scampered up to clutch to her back, hiding within her hair.

"You get down from there now! How many times to we have to tell you not to climb on other people? Sorry about that, Kodachan."

Hearing the friendly nickname gave her pause, and made her forget about the naked child rubbing against the back of her head. "Oh, it is no problem, Ranma-sama."

"If you could just hold still for a moment..." As Ranma flinched Carrot leaped toward the ceiling, only to be surprised as Kodachi grabbed him by the waist, and handed him over to Ranma's waiting arms.

"Here you go, Ranma-sama."

"No fair, mommies never help Daddy!" The child struggled, his tail slapping her in the face as Ranma took him into his arms.

"Get back here and take your bath, you naughty little monkey! Sorry again, this little guy hates the water."

"Oh dear, is it something to do with one of those 'curses'?" She tried to whisper the last word, hoping to be discrete.

"Oh, no, this is natural. It's just a case of a bad boy, who doesn't like scrubbing clean! Isn't that right, Carrot?"

"Nooo baaath!" Struggle as he might, he could not break free of Ranma's firm grip.

"Sorry kid, but you're filthy. Come on Kodachan, we need to get you clean now too. Do you have time for me to wash your outfit, or should I dig you out something to wear until you get back?" He led her back into the changing room while ignoring the protesting progeny.

"I am afraid I do not have that much time left before classes start today."

"Okay, just give me a moment, and I will go find something for you. Once I get this guy washed, I will clean and refill the tub for you. Won't take too long." She watched him vanish into the furo with thwarted tyke.

"I guess you succeeded in getting me naked after all, Ranma-sama." Especially with the way he was acting, she was finding difficult not to want to flaunt the idea, but she remembered that he was happily married, doing her a huge favor, and had soundly rejected on many occasions.

She barely noticed any time passing before he returned with a sparkling child in hand. "There, now put on your clothes and then you can go play with your new friend, then we can go through all of this all over again."

"That was ...quick."

"Don't worry, I scoured it thoroughly, and the tub is filling now. Take your time, I won't peek, I promise. I will leave the dress here, I am sure I can whip-up something that will fit you well enough."

She bowed to him as he turned to leave. "Thank you, Ranma-sama." She didn't know how to tell him that she did not really mind if it was him, but she did not want to push the limits of his patience with her. Sighing as she watched him walking away and pining for what might have been, she stripped out of her clothing as she remembered what it had felt like to hold him in her arms.

Kodachi was stunned by the size of the bath while it did not rival the one she used to enjoy back at the mansion, it was far nicer than anything she had used other than the public baths in longer than she cared to recall. As she lathered herself, the shower-head sprayed her in several sensitive spots. "Oooooo..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Having lost herself in the pleasure of soaking, Kodachi almost fallen asleep in the furo when the door flew open and a child with maroon tinted hair burst in with a distressed look on his cute little face! Once she recovered from her disappointment over it not being Ranma, she belatedly realized where her hands were, and what they should not be doing at that moment.

"No Mommy, you were wrong, the pretty lady isn't beating any beavers in here! I don't see any kinds of animals at all! So what really made that noise?"

"NYANMA! GET OUT HERE THIS INSTANT!" She ducked under the water as he looked up at her with a grin on his face before slowly leaving the room. It was only after she started to relax that she thought she saw cat ears on the kid...!

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

In spite of the unusual interruption, Kodachi had enjoyed her sustained soaking, and felt quite refreshed as she saw the light spring dress that Ranma had left for her. She was surprised to see how well it fit her figure, almost as if it had been made just for her. As she finished collecting her things to leave, she heard voices coming from the hallway.

"Thank you Dana-sama, I know I can do it with your support!"

"I know you'll be the best teacher they ever had!"

"It's true, they don't deserve an instructor like Kasumi-airen."

"Do not worry Kasumi-chan, just be yourself and you will do great, I am positive."

"Thank you all, I could not have gotten to this point without all of you."

"It's okay Mommy!"

"We know you'll do good!"

"Ganbatte, 'Sumi-mama!"

Kodachi walked out in time to flinch as she saw Kasumi and Shampoo kissing him on the cheek and most of the kids hugging them. As each of them filled passed him, kissed or hugged them as he handed them a lunch box.

"Don't worry, I will help Kasumi-airen walk them to school, so you can handle the other stuff this morning."

"Thanks Shampoo-chan, I think I got the easy job this time. I will see you soon, right?"

"You know it, Airen." Shampoo was the only one who did not get a bento, so she was surprised to see one left as he handed one to Hinako while the others left.

"Why so glum, Hinako-chan?" Kodachi could not believe the familiarity between the two. She had heard rumors about them back in high school, and they had fought over him once, but she had thought that was all in the past.

"Sometimes it feels as though Furinkan got all of the delinquents in Tokyo this year." Her head sunk as her aura darkened a bit.

"Well, I am sure you can handle most anything that comes, we have been training together for a while now, but if you need anything, you know you can call me, okay?" She almost fell over as he hugged the taller woman, and kissed her on the cheek! "Especially the principal, the most delinquent one of all!"

"Thank you Onii-chan, things have been getting easier because of you."

"The least I can do for everything you did for us, especially Kasumi. But, you had better hurry, it would not due for the disciplinarian to be late." The embrace she received in parting was not only far more intimate, but surprising to the young woman, was he truly the lothario he had always been accused of being? Would that necessarily be a 'bad' thing for her?

"Kodachan, are you just going to keep standing there? I thought you had to get to class." His warm grin made her swoon before she hesitantly stepped forward.

"Yes, you are correct Ranma-sama, I 'do' need to hurry. Thank you." She bowed to him before she turned to get her shoes, unable to believe her eyes as she spun back to see him offering her the last lunchbox. "But ...why? How?"

"I expected both you and Kobara-kun, so I planned ahead."

"You did not have to do that, Ranma-sama."

"Well, we put you through quite a lot this morning, so take it as my ...'our' way of atoning for the trouble. I will have your outfit cleaned for you when you come back."

"Thank you, you are too kind..." She reluctantly accepted the bento, trying not to think of it as charity.

"I'd be happy to make one for you every day, if you would like, I make so many, it's really no trouble to make one more, and I do hope you will be joining us for breakfast as well, it's the most important meal of the day!"

She could not have refused his hopeful expression even if she had wanted to. "You really do not mind?"

"Don't worry, just go out there and do your best! What you are doing here, I'm proud of you. I hope you can keep it up, so if there's anything you need, let us know, okay?"

'Proud of her', when was the last time she had heard those words? Kodachi nodded as she stumbled toward the door, and started to fall.

"Are you okay?" She felt as though her heart was going to burst as his arms wrapped around her, protecting her from falling. Memories flooded back to her from when he first had carried her in his sturdy embrace, that feeling of warmth, his manly scent, and she wanted it to last, knowing that it could never be.

"Oh, yes, thank you Ranma-sama, I do not know what came over me." She felt him starting to loosen his grip and she acted without thinking, inspired by what she had already seen that morning, she leaned in, and quickly pressed her lips against his, fully expecting him to panic and kick her and her son out of his house, possibly even going as far as taking the dress back beforehand, and far too late for her to make other arrangements for the day.

What she did not expect was for him to instinctively lean into it, and even going as far as to stick his tongue into her mouth! Not wanting to awaken if she was dreaming, she returned it with every drop of passion she could muster, being the first time he had willingly kissed her!

After a few moments, she noticed his reaction change, and they quickly split apart. "Oh man, I'm sorry Kodachan! It was a reflex!"

"No, no, it was MY fault! Please, don't be mad!"

"Oh, I ain't mad!" His nervous laughter filled the hall as he blushed. "I just hope you aren't either..."

"How could I be?" 'It was a dream come true!'

After several embarrassed apologies and bows, she turned to leave with a skip in her step and a smile upon her sensitive lips. As she strolled out of the house in the best mood she could remember, she saw her son, the child and woman with tails, playing with a strange looking squirrel. She found that rather odd, but was far too satisfied about her morning to care.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kodachi had found it difficult to focus all day, every time she tried to concentrate on her classes, she would remember the kiss she had shared with Ranma that morning, and she would drift off on a cloud. Luckily for her, being the first day of the new semester, it was mostly orientations and introductions.

Making her way back to the Saotome estate, her mind continued to drift, feeling a bit guilty over having taken advantage of the situation that morning. She was glad that no one else was there to see it, she did not know how she would face the others if they knew, it was going to be hard enough as it was.

As she walked through the gate, things were far quieter than she would have expected considering how many children were supposed to be present. In fact, the entire neighborhood seemed more peaceful than anywhere she had ever been within the city. It was ...strange.

No sooner has she knocked on the door then it opened and Shampoo was behind it looking absolutely livid, lowing a glare at her that could have melted an ice burg. "So, you're finally here. I have been waiting on you!"

A nervous Kodachi jumped back, worried that she might have gotten Ranma in trouble. "Wha- What? Did you need something?"

"I know what you did this morning after the rest of us left!"

"How?"

"MY husband tells me everything! We do not have secrets from each other!"

"No, wait, it was an accident! I didn't mean it!"

"It was 'an accident'? What you slipped, tripped, and and stuck your tongue in my husband?"

"Um, well actually..."

"Do you really think that I would believe that?"

Kodachi was slowly backing away, she did not want to fight, but she did not want to leave without her son either. "I do not expect-..."

Her panic was interrupted as the other woman burst into laughter. "You should see your face! BWAHAHAHahahahaha!"

"What, so, you are really not angry?" She hesitantly stopped backing-up and looked at her curiously.

"It's just a kiss! Relax!" Shampoo was having trouble getting her chortles under control.

"Wait, really?"

"It's fine, I wanted to apologize to you for Nyanma this morning, you know how kids are..."

'Funny way of showing it...' "Yes, I suppose I do."

As she started toward the door, Shampoo blocked her way again, regaining her serious tone. "Ranma's not the father ...right?"

"What? NO! Of course not!" '...I should be so lucky.' "No, I went to a mixer with some of my classmates …it did not go well, I suppose, but I do not regret it."

"It's just too easy! Are you going to come inside?"

"Are you going to let me this time?"

"Of course, the kids are doing their homework, and dinner will be ready soon."

"Homework? You gave my son homework?"

Once again Shampoo laughed at her confused guest. "No, no, no, your boy is helping some of the others, including Akahihi!"

"Aka-who-who?"

"The one who looks like Ranma's cursed form."

"Oh yes, the woman with the tail?"

"It's not a real one, but yes."

"Wait, my son is helping that one?"

"Among others ...it's a long story. So, are you joining us for dinner, or do you have somewhere to be? Ranma is a wonderful cook, as you should be aware by now." She glanced down at the empty lunchbox.

"Um, yes, well..."

"You 'liked' it ...right?"

"Most definitely!"

"Do you have other plans?"

"Well, no..."

"Then what are you waiting for, a written invitation? We don't bite ...hard."

The memory of her morning kiss came flooding back as that thought sent shivers down her spine. Still not sure what to think, Kodachi followed Shampoo into the house in somewhat of a daze. As they walked through the halls, she started to hear voices coming from one of the rooms they passed.

"Oooo, thank you for the 'bonus', Goshujin-sama!"

"We'll be sure to work extra hard again next time too!"

"Anything for you, Goshujin-sama!"

"Thanks again for letting us work for you, this is so much more fun than the cafe!"

"It's fun to be telling other people what to do for a change!"

"And a whole lot less strange men try to grab us when working for you, Goshujin-sama!"

"Someone grabbed you? Who? I'll go take care of them right away!"

"No one we couldn't handle."

"There is someone I wish WOULD grab me..." She heard the tittering of several young women giggling.

"Well, if anyone ever molests you, and you can't 'handle it', you make sure to tell me, and it will never happen again, I promise you. No one does that to one of my friends ...without permission anyway."

As they got further away, the voices became less clear, but she could have sworn that she heard one of them say, "You always have my consent, Go-shu-jin-sa-ma..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

It had been a fun day of playing with his new friend, the strange boy with a monkey's tail. Young Kobara could not even begin to keep up with the other lad, but he had not let that stop him from trying! Most of the kids in his usual day-care had always shunned him and made fun of his mother, calling her nasty names, but this boy did not care about any of that, he was just thrilled to have a playmate his own age while his siblings were at school, and once they got home he even found the others were happy to have his assistance.

It had astonished him that red-headed woman who had been playing with them all day had needed the most help, but he had to admit, she occasionally seemed to be lacking some general common sense, so he supposed he should not be too surprised. In many ways, she acted more like a kid than he did at times, but she certainly did not LOOK like a kid, and he was glad for that.

"Kiki, could ya help me with this one?"

"Oh sure, this is the kanji for eye, and this is the one for ear, see they're almost the same. Just remember the eye looks kind a' squishied!"

Seeing the other boy's grin as his sister turned away, Kobara wondered what might be happening, and as he moved closer, he saw something that concerned him. "'Scuse me, but you got those backwards. 'Eye' is the one with the straight sides."

She looked up from where she sat, clearly not ready to trust the younger newcomer over her own brother. "Ya sayin' my aniki was lyin' ta me again?"

"Or maybe just wrong." The look he received did not go over his head, but he chose to ignore it, being used to people not liking him. It was someone other than his mother who actually cared about what he said that was a unique experience.

"Really?" Just at that moment, Shampoo and Kodachi entered the room, and the trio looked over at them.

Kobara nodded their way. "Want to ask?"

The child walked over to the two young women, looking up with large eyes. "Oba-Poo?"

"Yes, Tatsuki?"

"Which is right?"

"It's this one."

A cross expression came over the cute face of the small child in the magical girl costume as she walked over and smacked her brother's head with her wand. "You are a poopy liar, and in the name of love and justice I will punish you, Kiki!"

"Did you lie to your sister again, Ryuki?"

"That twerp ain't my real sister anyway, I don't have one!"

Shampoo picked the boy up by his collar to look into his eyes. "You know how we feel about that kind of talk. Now, apologize to your sister, or no desert."

Seeing that her brother was being righteously punished, she quickly ran over to hug her savior, only to receive a look of death from her 'cousin' Tenma.

As Shampoo set the boy down, he glared over at Kobara, mouthing the words, 'this is your fault'.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"No Carrot, you have to let Kobara-kun go. You can play together in the morning, and we can arrange a sleepover another day if you are good, okay?"

"But-..."

"No! Climb down off of the roof now, before I jump up there to get you! ...Ichi."

The two children looked around nervously.

"Ni."

Hesitating for a moment, they saw Ranma's mouth start to open a third time, they jumped down, as Kobara mentioned offhandedly. "I told you that was not a good place to hide, but it's okay, I'll be back again!"

Handing her son over to her, Ranma bowed as he help onto Carrot tightly. "Sorry about that, Kodachan."

"Are you all right, Kobara-chan?"

"Yes Mother, I am fine. There was no danger, just because I can't jump up there, doesn't mean I can't get down."

"Language!"

"I am sorry Mother, I will not use contractions."

"That is better." Shifting her gaze back toward the 'master of the home', with a bow. "I suppose everything is fine then. Thank you again, for everything, Ranma-sama."

"Hey, it's no problem... We'll see you for breakfast again then?"

"I do not wish to impose..."

"I told you, it's no trouble at all! We are happy to have you both." He felt the child in his arms excitedly nodding.

"What do you think, Kobara-chan?"

"Yes ...please?" She melted as she looked into his eyes.

"I suppose you will have to do far worse to get rid of us then." Kodachi blushed as she remembered some of the embarrassment she had suffered that day, but she had to admit, she did not want to give it up either. As she turned to leave, Kobara looked over her shoulder and waved to his new friend.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, Carrot?" Ranma patiently smiled at the boy in his arms as he walked back into their house.

"Auntie Kiima's commin' again soon?"

"Yes, in the next week or two."

"...And Fuma-tan too?"

"Yes, Fuma-chan too."

"But ...is Mama gonna too?"

"Yes, Carrot. Now go to sleep." Ranma tucked the little guy into his bed before making sure the nightlight was on.

"Aaaawww... That guy's a big jerk! Why'd ya make that kid?"

Ranma blushed as he remembered one of their recent trips back to China during Kasumi's last long break from school before she really buckled down for her degree. "You will understand when you are older..."

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OMAKE E1

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Kodachi awoke with a start, feeling as though she were living through an earthquake. Looking around, she saw everything in her tiny home shaking and she immediately ran for her son's room, only to not find him in his bed! Starting to look under everything, she was quickly going beyond panic, and well into outright horror. "KOBARA! KOBARA-CHAN! WHERE ARE YOU? ...Pleeeease be okay."

Not seeing any trace of him anywhere in his room, she frantically started searching the rest of their little trailer home as the shaking continued to get worse, as did the scraping and grinding sounds coming from outside. She could not imagine what the news was going to say about this one, she had never felt anything like it. In her experience, earthquakes tended to go in waves, yet this one had been almost consistent, with very brief breaks.

When she got to the front of their abode, two things managed to filter through her panic that happened to strike her as important. The first was that she could see objects moving passed their residence at a slow but steady rate. The second was that she could hear her son's voice crying out from the roof! Without another thought, she opened a window and leapt through it, twisting her body in the air so she landed on top of the building in one fluid motion.

"That's it Carrot-kun! I can't believe you are 'actually' doing it!" Hearing his cheers and laughter, she spared a glance down to see his little friend, tied to a rope, dragging their dwelling!

"KOBARA!"

"MOTHER! I AM SORRY! I mean, 'That is it Carrot-dono! I cannot believe that you are actually doing it!' You are amazing!"

"That is NOT what I mean! What is happening here?"

"Ko-kun! ...We're! ...Almost! ...THERE!"

She almost fell off of the roof as the shaking suddenly stopped, and she looked around, realizing that they were no longer even in their neighborhood! "What have you boys done?"

"It is okay Mother, I disconnected all of the utilities."

"Well, that is good I suppose, but ...NO! THAT IS NOT THE POINT!"

"Please don't be mad, Kunoba-sama!" She glanced down to see the strange 'monkey-boy' on his knees, prostrating himself before her. "I just wanted ya ta be close by!"

Looking around more carefully, she realized that they were resting in the empty lot behind Ranma's property. "What the f-...?"

"What's going on out here? ...CARROT! WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"Just bringing new mommy and brother! No one live here anymore anyway!"

"Well, that IS true..."

"What do you mean?" Kodachi looked between them, wondering what was going through their minds.

"I mean, if you want, we could 'buy' this lot."

"WHAT? I mean, I was on a rental, but, how can you do that?"

"Well you know, the property values have dropped a bit lately anyway..."

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NOTES

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Well, this took so long I ended up breaking it up again, and there will be a second part out as soon as I can finish it. I got a bit too focused on certain characters this time, so I hope to give you a bit more time with each of them.

If you have any questions about the kids, or other characters, now is the time to ask! I will try to fill in any gaps in the next part.

So, come back one last time for, 'Gen19', or 'Sayonara Kofuku Sensei'!

kofuku 鼓腹 (n,vs) happiness; contentment


	55. Chapter 55

I know I said the last chapter was going to be the last chapter, but ...APRIL FOOLS! ;p

Disclaimer: This story was written before an actual studio audience.

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Chapter 55 - Epilogue 02

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{The speech in this section was translated from Mandarin.}

Perched in a tree, the young man from Phoenix Mountain watched a lone hunter who focused on her prey. Leaping high into the air, he kept himself between the sun and his own target as he waited for the right time. Circling overhead, he was careful not to be aggressive in any way as he cautiously dropped an egg the moment she went for the strike.

Despite him not letting off any battle aura, she managed to dodge it by a hairsbreadth, but that was not far enough to escape from the threads that exploded from within. The young man smiled as he saw the woman encased in the giant egg as he landed next to her and her kill. "Wonderful! Yes, you will do nicely, much better than that raven girl last week. I look forward to seeing how you ...work out."

He stood there as he cracked open the egg, waiting for the warrior to look into his eyes as hers blinked open. Her steel gray orbs gazed at him expectantly through her loose black bangs and over her small, round spectacles, waiting for him to speak. "Whom do you serve?"

"You, Sir."

"Good. What is your name, Slave?"

"Zhu Li, Sir."

"I see, and what is it that you do?"

"'The Thing'."

"And just what is, 'the thing'?"

"Whatever you need it to be, Sir."

"Interesting."

"What do I call you, Sir?"

The young man's face grew flush in frustration before barking out his instructions. "Just call me 'master'!"

"Yes, Master!"

"I have a ...task for you." A sinister grin crossed his lips as his eyes hardened onto the young woman. She was not the most physically attractive woman he had used in this way, but she certainly seemed 'capable' enough.

"Yes Master?" She looked at him with a longing expression, just waiting to be ordered.

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"This must stop!" The ancient matriarch hopped over the the Phoenix General.

"What to you expect me to do Elder, force them to marry?"

"Of course not! We do not consider that an honorable challenge, and Kuu Laa already has a husband, who is also REALLY unhappy about this! I cannot simply keep sweeping this under the rug, this is the sixth time this month!"

"You are not alone, we have had ...problems on our side as well, but as you know, considering the father, maybe we could..."

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He had to wonder how this woman would compare to the others he had used similarly of late, it made him feel quite superior. "Slave, I need you to get down there and ...clean up this carcass, make a snack for me." Watching the woman simply stand there, he started to grow impatient "What are you waiting for, Slave? Get to work!"

"You need to properly make your request, Master."

"Huh? What do you mean, do it now, you useless slave!"

He almost lashed out as she leaned closely to whisper into his ear.

"Oh, I see, then by all means, 'do the thing'!"

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The princess of the Musk Kingdom was happy to have finally gotten way. It might sound like a powerful position, however among the Musk, women were generally treated as little more than breeding sows, and she hated being there. To her it felt as though the guards had more power than her, and her father was king! Worst of all, being his only daughter, she was expected to marry whomever he chose for her, and ensure the family line, no matter what she had to say about it!

There was nothing like the feeling of flying, it was the only time in her life she felt truly free. Soaring through the clouds, no responsibilities, no one to yell at her, and no one else around as far as the eye could see. As soon as she took off into the air, all of her problems seemed to melt away, and she could finally be herself! Even her own father could not match her in the air, not with her special gear.

The one advantage of being made to learn all of the skills required of all females in her society was that she could make her own outfits, including making special adjustments to the typical design. Woven into her armored robes and cape, she had made pockets to catch the air, modeled after the flying squirrel, allowing her to glide, and requiring so much less qi for lift that she managed much greater control and speeds than her father ever had.

She was trying to come up with an excuse not to go home, when she spotted a particularly large bird flying her direction, at a high rate of speed. As it got closer, she realized that it was not actually a bird, but a person with wings! That was something she had never seen before, it was like something right out of legend!

As she got closer, it clearly noticed her, and flew closer to her as well. "Hello, I am not used to seeing others up here."

The look he gave her made her feel uncomfortable, like she was being judged in many unpleasant ways. "What are you even doing up this high, Squirrel-Girl?"

"I am no 'squirrel', I am a Dragon!"

"Yeah, yeah, and I am the prince of the Phoenix People... Look, you seem ...boring, and I am in a hurry."

"What? 'Boring'? How DARE you? Do you know who I am?"

"Don't care. But I will tell you what, if you really want to do something, watch for me the next time I am out girl hunting, and I will turn you into one of my slaves. Sound like fun?"

"'Fun'? You ...you, you BASTARD!"

"Yeah, big whoop, want to fight about it?"

"What is your problem, you jerk? I was just trying to say 'hello'! I don't see many others who can fly!"

"You don't get out much, do you?"

"No ...not really."

"See, it is your fault, not mine. Catch you later, Nóng!"

"I am no peasant! My father is a king!"

"And my mother rules the Phoenix people. I. Don't. Care! Just another girl with bad taste in clothing."

She had taken many insults since this conversation had started, but disrespecting the clothing that she had worked so hard to create? That was the last straw! Just as she was about to give him a piece of her mind, he flew in closer and struck out with his hand, chopping her in the neck with a knife-hand strike.

Sputtering as she gasped for air, she hovered there, unable to believe that he would use such a cheap attack, and then simply fly away. After catching her breath, she summoned her qi into her hands, as she chased after him. "COME BACK HERE, YOU BASTARD!"

Flying after him, she started releasing blasts from her palms, which he managed to barely dodge each time. As they got closer to the mountains, he finally turned back toward her and sent a flurry of feathers flying her direction, causing her to take evasive action.

She started to worry as one of the feathers clipped her outfit, tearing though part of what was helping to keep her aloft with minimal effort on her part. She was almost relieve when he stopped that attack and switched over to qi blasts much like her own, at least she would not have to worry as much about clothing damage that way. That was always the problem with being a female warrior these days, clothing material was cheaply made, even she had a difficult time finding stronger fabric, and every year seemed to get worse.

After several exchanges, she threw her qi sword, nicking several feathers on his right wing in passing. She watched as it curved through the air, angling back toward them as a smile crossed her lips. "You should look behind you."

Instead of looking, he immediately allowed himself to drop like a rock, avoiding the spinning blade. He looked up just in time to see it pass overhead, mere centimeters away from his sweating face. In his haste to escape the whirling weapon's destructive path, he disappeared into the trees below.

"Now I've got you, you wicked, wicked boy! I've never seen such a bad egg!" As she dove into the wooded area, as she followed the broken branches, she saw the cocky young man being approached by a large tiger. "That's what you get, Bèndàn."

"Crap." She heard him cry out as she watched the large feline stalked the bird-boy, wondering if she ought to let the rude boy be eaten. Just as she thought she would intervene, she noticed as he hastily tossed a small white object at the pursuing predator. She chuckled to herself as landed just short of its target, but was caught short as it exploded, the threads from within encapsulating the creeping carnivore.

Staring at the trapped tiger, she started to wonder if perhaps she ought to have been a bit more cautious in her interactions with the young man. The last thing she had expected was for the lad to crack the giant egg open and for the tiger to start rubbing its face against the boy's.

"Good, now go take care of that stinking whore in the trees."

Much to her surprise, the giant feline suddenly started hopping from branch to branch, heading right for her! Instinctively letting one of her ki blasts fly, she blew the branch off of the tree that held the tiger ...just after it had leapt from it. As it continued toward her, her higher brain functions kicked and and she remembered that tigers could not fly.

As she broke through the tops of the trees, the sun blinded her, making it difficult to get her bearings. Suddenly, she found herself being bombarded from above, razor-sharp feathers tearing through her clothing as she had to resort to fully qi powered flight, heading back toward the mountain, unable to see her opponent.

The attacks continued, varying between the feathers and qi balls while she flew, trying dodge as she searched for her attacker. As her eyes followed the line of attacks and the sound of the cackling laughter, she was blinded by the sunlight shining down upon her. She flew down, putting the rock outcropping between her and the sun as she crashed into the stone.

Having seen what that strange 'enslaving egg' attack had done to the aggressive animal, she was a bit afraid of what it could do if the guy chose to use it on her, so she backed herself into the corner, prepared to unleash her righteous fury the moment she saw the slightest hint of trouble.

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Seeing his target fleeing, he continued to press his advantage, though as he rounded the corner, he ran into something that he had not expected. "NOW I HAVE YOU! ...SPIRIT BOMB!"

"Uh'oh..." Seeing a qi blast far larger than his own body, he immediately started his retreat, not wanting to take the attack head-on, uncertain what it would do, but positive that getting hit by it would be a really bad plan!

"OH NO! YOU ARE NOT GETTING AWAY!"

As he tried to flee, the enormous ball seemed to follow him and he started to panic. Kicking on the speed, he tried to out run it, only to find that it was catching up to him! Diving, he continued to increase his velocity until he suddenly changed directions, pulling up at the last moment as the 'spirit bomb' crashed into the ground behind him. The impact and resulting explosion created a crater more than ten meters across and sent him flying toward Phoenix Mountain.

"That will teach you to mess with your betters!"

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Following the flying body, she noticed that he was managing to use his wings to help control his direction, meaning that he was still alive, and so she following him. He was clearly a dangerous person to just allow to run around!

They had traveled passed several mountains before he started to descend, and she realized that they were heading toward an entire village, full of people, and her outfit was in tatters. It was one thing to have herself partially exposed in a battle, but she was a princess, and her father would not be happy if he heard she had flashed an entire town, she did not know what he would say.

At least she had discovered where he lived, and she could stake him out soon. With that thought reassuring her bruised ego, she flew toward home, covering herself with the remains of her clothing.

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"That bitch! Just wait until next time, I will make certain to-..."

"Mama! Where have you been, and why do you look like that?"

"Mother!" The teen looked up as Kiima entered his room, clearly displeased. "I told you not to call me that! I want to be called Xī Zì Zhī Shàng!"

"I am not calling you 'Death From Above'!"

"How about 'Yì Shān Shī'?"

"No, I am not calling you 'Winged Mountain-Lion' either!"

"Moooom!"

"Apparently I have been far too lenient on you already... We heard about what you did today already!"

"What? What do you mean?"

"Zhu Li?"

"SO? You never talk like that to Fuma!"

"Your sister never acts like this! Your SISTER, never tried to get us into WAR! Your SISTER never tried to enslave our own people!"

"Hey, we know how to free them now, it is not a big deal!"

"YES! YES IT IS!"

"Oh please... Who cares?"

"You are about to, because you have been banished! You can never return to this part of China again, not unless the council of elders and lord Saffron agree. They wanted your head!"

"Wasn't it just the Minister of Silverware? That old fart wants someone's head every time they use the wrong fork!"

"No, it was almost unanimous! It was everything I could do to get them to agree to allow me to take you out of the country alive!"

"What am I going to do now then?"

"You are going to live with your father, and your sister is going to stay there to keep an eye on you!"

"It is not my idea of a good time either."

"Oh, yeah right, you just want to go see your 'boyfriend'!"

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After changing, Qu Min was rummaging through her closet, planning to pack a number of things. If she was going to do a stakeout, a number of things could come in handy, she might even want to pack some snacks. As she was deciding what she wanted to take on her latest trip, she heard a knock on her door.

Quickly hiding the evidence of her excursions, she straightened her hair as she answered the summons. "Yes? Oh, hello Father. How are you doing today?" She stepped back as he entered, kneeling before him.

"I am well, Daughter. Are 'you' all right?"

"Oh yes, I am fine. You do not need to worry about me."

"Then why did you not answer me earlier? You were not at lunch either."

"I was just napping, Father." She faked a very convincing yawn. "It is not as if I have any lessons now, so I am simply passing my time until you find me a husband, my beloved father. What else could a woman do after all?"

"Yes, well, I am afraid I have not found anyone worthy of your hand as yet, my dear. I assure you, that once some boy can pass the test, that I will present them to you posthaste!"

"Oh no, do not worry about me! I was not trying to imply anything of the sort, Father. I do not wish to see you put yourself out over someone like myself. One such as myself is not worthy of your time."

"Now, now, you 'are' my daughter."

"Of course Father, and I love you dearly for it."

"Yes, well... Will we be seeing you for dinner then?"

"I do not know. I believe I will practice making another lovely dress." She politely nodded her head slightly toward her sewing machine. "I will get one of the guards to take me to the kitchens if I get hungry."

"Well, I will be leaving in the morning for an extended trip, so we will speak more on this upon my return. Okay, Daughter?"

"Of course, Father, I await your homecoming with baited breath."

"Yes, well, if we do not see you this evening, then I hope you remain well during my absence."

"Thank you, Father, and I do hope that you take care of yourself on your adventure. Whatever could we do without you?"

"Do not worry, you will not have to worry about that for now."

"Yes, Father." As she heard the door close again, she glanced up with a snarl on her beautiful features, glad to finally be alone once again. "Damn that old man, one of these days..." One of these days, she would beat him, and then there were going to be some changes around this kingdom, of that she was certain! But for now, she had a very different man in mind that needed to be punished!

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While not exactly thrilled about being forced to move or being her brother's keeper, she could not deny that spending an extended time with the rest of her family was an exciting prospect. That did not mean she was going to let her brother off the hook for part in turning her life on its ear! "What is wrong with you, Mama?"

"What is wrong with you, Sis?"

"You! You are my problem!"

"Now, now, Fuma, were you not just asking when we could go visit your Father again?"

"Not like THIS! Now they are going to think we are all criminals ...or WORSE, thanks to this idiot!"

"Hey!"

"No, your sister is correct, you were very foolish!"

"Oh, please, it is not as if I hurt anyone!"

"This attitude is exactly what got you into this mess!"

"What? A vacation?"

"No, I told you, this is permanent, you cannot go home again. If you try to return, I will have to hunt you down 'myself'!"

The cold tone her their mother's voice sent shivers down her spine, and left no one in the mood to argue. As much as she hated her little brother at times, she did not want to see him dead! As they flew in silence, she was better able to focus her mind, and she was far more certain now. They were being followed!

It was quite a ways back, but they had been there for sometime. Judging by that fact, combined with them being over the Sea of Japan, led her to believe that is had to be one of their warriors sent to protect their commander, just in case something went wrong.

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Omake E2

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Lyrics to 'It's Not Easy Being Mean' (Parody of 'It's Not Easy Being Green', Kermit the Frog)

It's not that easy being mean

Having to spend each day making everyone peeved

But I think it is nice being obeyed, and I don't care why

It doesn't matter, if they bow to me

It's not easy being mean

You have to think of ways to punish the ordinary beings

And people tend to hate you because you are,

Simply better than anything they could ever be

Even if they try

But it's so fun being mean

And mean can be cool and funny-like

And mean can be lame like an jerk-off, or simple there

Like a demon, or fun like a prank

When mean is all there is to that

It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why

Wonder, I am mean and it'll do fine, it's beautiful

And I think you can just suck on that

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Epilogue 03

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"Would you come in here, Honey Bunny?" Kasumi called out to her husband.

"Yes, Aisai?" Ranma popped in the room, almost as soon as she finished speaking.

"Did you not promise me that we could have some alone time today?"

"And we 'will', I promise you, but I need to get the kids off to school, and wait ...shouldn't you be going there too?"

"Oh my yes, I was about to leave."

"Wait, I'll walk there with you. I already got their lunches ready."

"Yes, I saw that. Remind me when we get home tonight to 'punish' you for putting so many sweets in their lunches."

"Urk!"

"You will join me in the secret room after dinner, yes?"

"Yes Ma'am!" Ranma snapped to attention as he responded.

"Okay then, you have a good day."

"But-...!" He started to protest, but she cut him off with a kiss.

"Now, now, I will see you later."

"Okay, but this is your first day at Furinkan High, don't you want me to go with you?"

"I need to go in before the children and 'you' need to see them off."

"Shampoo-chan can do that for a change, I want to support you on your first day."

"Please, I wish to do this on my own."

"Fine, but you can't stop me from bringing you your lunch! I already told Shampoo-chan not to give it to you."

"Oh Anata! What am I going to do with you?"

"Anything you want, but later... And after your first day at your new job, I hope you will relax, and let us do all of the 'work' this time." He winked at her.

"But Darling, I DO so love ...taking care of you both."

"Yes, I know, but ...you deserve a night off once in a while! Right?" Ranma's nervous laughter filled the cozy bedroom.

"All right, all right! Although, I hope I do not NEED the rest when this day is over..."

"Don't you worry, I am sure you will do great, and if you need anything, Hinako-chan will be there for you too."

"Well, that is true, but I do not want to impose..."

"Then call 'me' if you need me, I will keep my phone on me."

"Oh, yeah, that would be the perfect way to earn their respect, call my husband to fight my battles." Kasumi crinkled up her nose in frustration.

"It doesn't have to be to fight for you, though I always will, even if it's that lunatic of a principal, but even if you just want someone to talk to, whatever you need, call me, okay?"

"Fine, I promise, but don't do anything crazy."

"I would never!" Ranma pretended to be offended at the very implication. "Now, before you go out there, and have a great day, there is one thing you are forgetting."

"Oh my, what is that, Anata?"

"Your 'good-bye' kiss." Pulling her into a tender embrace, he dipped her as their lips parted slightly.

"I would NEVER forget that, my love."

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"Yo! Aloha and good mornin' ever'body! Welcome to da new school year, yah! Me know all da good kiki and keke well be a' welcomin' da new teacher, Saotome Kasumi, yah! Come up here and say sum-thin' to ever'body!"

Kasumi nervously walked onto the stage, keeping her family's warnings firmly in mind, and never taking her attention fully off of the strange man that ran the school that now employed her. "Oh my. Hello everyone, as you know, my name is Kasumi Saotome, and I used to work at Arama Academy elementary school. I want you to know, that if any of you need anything, feel free to come to me, even if you are not in one of my classes. Otherwise, please take care of me."

Several of the students were openly gawking at the beautiful new teacher, who, for some reason, barely looked much older than any of them. It was difficult to believe that such a young looking woman could be starting her second teaching job when she barely looked old enough to have graduated college.

"Hey, look, it's your guys' mom!" Natsuko looked over at her friends as they sat in the back of the bleachers.

"Don't remind me, it's SO embarrassing!" Nyanma shook his head, wondering why she had to pick his first day of high school to change schools. He loved his 'Sumi-mommy, but on his first day of high school, he wanted to present himself as being 'grown-up', and having one of his mothers there did 'not' help that image.

"Watch your pig-tails everyone, I heard this principal has it in for them! Mom used ta tell us stories." Natsuko ducked lower to whisper to her friends and family.

"Is 'that' why your wearing one of your wigs again?" The part-time cat-boy's eyebrow went up as he examined his favorite kunoichi.

"But I thought you LIKED this one, Nya-kun. It matches your fur when you change!" Below anyone else's line of sight, she rubbed against him.

No matter what he did, even going as far as dying his naturally pink hair, had done anything to change the fact that his fur was a mix of pink and lavender. "You know I don't! ...But I DO like that."

"Oh Nya-kun, you know I am just teasing you, I LOVE your fur, it's just so soft and fluffy! You are my own personal ...unicorn!"

The off-times cat-boy blushed as bright as his hair, as he wished he could sneak behind the bleachers with her right then, but resisted as he had been warned to be careful at school. "Naw, you ain't got ta worry about your hair, if that guy tries anything like that again, Pops'll take care of it!"

"That's my big, strong putty-cat, hiding behind 'daddy'." She leaned in even closer, hugging him from behind.

"Hey, you want to get me kicked out on my first day of school?"

"Of course not, what would I do without you here? Who would I tease then?"

"Sheesh! Why do I put up with this?"

"Because of my skills as a ...kunoichi."

"You are not the only girl who is good in bed, 'Tsuko-chan."

"You wound me! You always told me I was the best!" The young female ninja looked up, pretending that her feelings were crushed.

"You know I can't really control myself in that other form."

"Oh yes, I know full well! It is one of the things I 'love' about you, you 'beast'! Sometimes I can't control myself around 'you' either."

"Oh, would you two get a room!" Tenma crossed her arms, and turned away in a huff, jealousy clearly written on her face.

"I wish..."

"Yes, which room ARE you going to be in this year, Nya-nya?"

"If they are smart, they'll put you both in different rooms, or nobody'll get anything done!" Kasumi's daughter crossed her arms as she turned her head away.

"Jealous much, Tenma-chan?" The young kunoichi stuck her tongue out at her friend.

"Shut-up, you-!" The young Saotome was interrupted as she jumped to her feet.

"Oh my, Tenma-chan, what are you doing during the opening ceremony? I thought we raised you better than that."

The auditorium erupted in laughter from the student body, her friends and family included. "Your 'mommy' yelled at you!"

"We will talk about this later, young lady!"

"You got detention, you betcha!" The headmaster took the microphone, and the attention of most attendees, with his boisterous presence.

"On the first day? No fair, school hasn't even started yet!"

"You are a legend!" Many of the students turned to stare at Kasumi's embarrassed daughter with various looks, ranging from outrage to awe.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Hey! There you are, Nii-chan!" Kenma walked across the field, waving to his friends and family.

"Yeah, this is where we usually hang out for lunch." Kazuma nodded toward the ground near the tree they were all sitting under. "At least, when it is not raining." A couple of people looked a bit uncomfortable while the rest of them laughed.

"Who's that guy?" Pointing toward a young man wearing a hakama, and brandishing a bokken as he yelled as other youngsters in similar outfits.

"Oh, that's Oudachi, Kobara's cousin." Kazuma held out a bite for Tatsuki as he replied to his younger brother.

"Mmmmmm. Thank you, your dad's bento are the best! My mom always makes me buy my lunches!" Nabiki's adopted daughter smiled at her boyfriend, not really trying to think about the extra money she got to keep by eating his lunch as well.

"A real piece a' work, that guy. You'd do best ta avoid them." Kobuto almost growled as he spoke about the taller young man.

"But, you don't have near the problem us girls have, right?"

"You said it!"

"That jerk'll hit on almost any girl who's breathing!" Tatsuki stuck out her tongue in Oudachi Kuno's general direction. "Enemy of 'most' women!"

"Be careful, 'Suki-chan, a guy like that, just might take that as you flirting."

"I don't have to worry, I have a big, strong man to protect me, don't I?" Kazuma just blushed as his girlfriend flirted with him while sitting in his lap.

"It doesn't matter how many times we bash in that stupid skull!" Sune's aura flared as she thought about a guy like that hitting on her.

"Or claw that stupidly handsome face!" The cat-girl flicked out the claws on one hand to make a point.

"You like Kuno-san, Puma-chan?" Fuko looked over her book as she teased her friend.

"NOT A CHANCE! I wouldn't go out with that bastard for all the tuna in the sea!"

Yumio sighed in mild relief. "Glad ta hear ya ain't lost yer mind." Letting out a small chuckle, the young chef pulled out his grill. "Now, who wants some a' th' best okonomiyaki in th' world?"

"Not me!" The young kunoichi suddenly appeared, hanging upside-down from a branch of the large tree.

"Shut up, Natsuko!" His younger sister giggling at his scowl, only made it worse.

"I'll take one, Yucchan."

"Me too!"

"Now, that's what Ah like ta hear!" Yumio's mood quickly shifted as he started to mix the batter.

"Give me three of the usual, nyaan?" Puma's ears perked up, belaying how she lazily slinked over to the table, her long tail twitching along with her nose, as she caught a whiff of several appealing ingredients.

"Right away, Puma-han!" Temporarily ignoring the other orders, the okonomiyaki chef quickly whipped up three of his seafood specials. "Here you are!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"So, what did you think of your first day at Furinkan?"

"Oh my, it was just lovely, everyone was so nice to me!"

"Really?" The instructor looked at her 'kohai' incredulously.

"Oh yes, of course! How could it be any other way, Hinako-senpai?"

"If everyone had that experience, they never would have called me in the first place."

"Oh my, that would have been terrible!"

"What, to have well behaved students?"

"Well that is always nice, but if you had not started working here, then we may have never met, and then where would we be?"

"Well, I- ...have no idea."

"Exactly, so let us not think about that, okay? Or are you unhappy with how your life has turned out?"

"No, not particularly..." Hinako rarely thought about her still missing husband these days, she had little hope of his return any longer, but she still kept all of his property to give to their daughter once she reached the age of majority. There was certainly one aspect of her life that was no longer 'lacking'...

"Good! Then you will be staying with us again tonight?"

"As long as you still do not mind, I suppose that I am not opposed..."

"Tonight, I am going first, and the rest of you will have to wait, but once 'Shujin-sama has defeated me, the rest of you may do what you like."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Finally, we are done for the day!"

"Aw, school's not so bad ..if it weren't for the classes!"

"But, Fuko, I thought you 'loved' learning."

"I do, but most of the classes are boring. I already know most of that stuff, better to spend my time in the library."

"Hate th' lie-berry!" The boy with the monkey tail casually kicked a stone, sending it flying into the sky.

"We know you do, Carrot." Kobara patted his friend on the shoulder. "It is okay, I will think for you, when you need it."

"Thanks Cobra-kun, an' I'll fight for ya anytime!"

"Well, aren't you two close!"

"It is not like that! I only like girls!"

"Prove it ...kiss me!" Tenma leaned closer toward the younger boy.

Turning away from the the amorous girl, he pushed her away. "Let me rephrase that, 'I only like OLDER girls'! How about you Puma, do you want a kiss?"

"Nyaa? 'Fish'? What kind of fish?" The cat-girl's attention was suddenly back to the present as her they discussed one of her favorites snacks!

"Gourami, the kissing fish." Most of the teens laughed at Fuma's teasing of their mutual friend.

"Meh, had better. How about a nice tuna, who wants sushi?"

"Not this time, don't forget, Pops said we need to go straight home today. We got a huge dinner planned for Mom's new job!"

"Oh that's right, nyaaammm!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"What'd ya mean, we gotta wait?"

"We are about to have company, it would be rude to start without them."

"What? Who?"

"Reach out with your senses, see if you can tell me..."

After a moment of concentrating, the teen's eyes lit up. "Aunty Kiima!"

"Very good! At this rate, you are going to be as good as your mother soon. Now, can you tell me how far away they are?"

Kazuma's look of consternation increased as he tried to focus. "At their current speed, just a few more minutes I think."

"Well done! Remember, you always want to be on the look out for anyone whose aura is that strong. You just never know when it might be trouble."

"The other two are cousins Fuma and Mama, but who is that fourth person? I don't recognize them, but they sure are strong..."

"Yeah, not too bad. We will have to see... Nobody seems upset, so I wouldn't worry too much about it, but it never hurts to stay on your guard, okay son?"

"Right, Pops!" Kazuma instinctively tilted his head to the side as his fathers fist moved through the space it had just occupied. "Aw, come-on Pops, you have to at least make it a challenge, I could have dodged that one in my sleep!"

"I would hope so, you always were one of my best students..."

The young man turned back toward his father in surprise. "What? 'One of'? I thought I was your 'top' student!"

Grinning at his son, Ranma danced out of the way of his son's playful assault. "With certain exceptions, your mother learned thing much more quickly..." 'And learned techniques we will NOT be teaching you!'

"Aw, Pops! You old people don't count! I mean your 'real' students!"

"Hey, your mother was my first 'real' student..." 'And still the most fun!' Ranma grinned to himself as he thought about some of the 'private' training sessions they had together.

"Daaaaaad!"

"Don't worry about it Kid, nobody can top your mother in my mind." 'No matter how close some others might be.' "Now go get cleaned up for dinner, we will be eating as soon they get here."

"Okay, I will go set the extra places!"

"I already did."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Hey, Kiima-chan! What's up? We didn't expect you until Golden Week."

"Yes Master, we had a sudden ...problem. The elder and I have need of your assistance."

"Oh? What happened, another invasion, some monster, what is it this time?"

"Our son."

"Oh."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"So, you guys are really going to be staying with us from now on?"

"It seems that way, thanks to my stupid brother!"

"Hey!"

"Don't 'hey' me, this is all your fault!"

"You are welcome!"

"What, Fuma-chan, you don't want to be with us?" The fuchsia feline rubbed against her wings with a sparkle in his eyes.

Trying to distract the curious kitty, she pulled out a mouse on a string, trying to pull his attention away from her wings. There was just something about being pawed by the cat-boy that sent her instincts into overdrive, making her want to take off into the air. "Oh no, I do. I would rather be here with friends and family, than who-knows-where, I am just not fond of being forced, you know?"

"Hey, I am being forced here too, you know? Don't you forget it!"

"No, you are the one who was doing the forcing, that is why we are here in the first place! When will you see that?"

"Granny does it to Gramps, what's the big deal?" His older sister just groaned in response.

"Well, I know at least one guy who's going to be thrilled that you're back for more than just a few days."

Fuma blushed a bit as she thought about that, Ryuki was going to be happy to see her, he always treated her so much more nicely than anyone else, and he was the first one to not not be freaked out by her wings when they were kids, he had always praised her for them and her unusual hair color, which tented to get her strange stares in her father's homeland.

"Hey, where did mother go?"

"Yeah Mama-kun, all of the 'adults' are gone." Kobara looked at his friendly rival with mild exasperation.

"You know, they are all down in that secret room we are not supposed to know about, doing the things we are not supposed to talk about, with toys we are not supposed to know exist..." Kazuma just grinned at the 'forbidden knowledge'.

Carrot looked up from his snacks. "What, like Mommy's fake tail?"

"Oh, don't make me watch those videos, I don't think my heart can take it!" Kenma tried to close his eyes, but that only brought the images forth into his mind.

"Made me want to hurl..." Tenma looked a bit green around the gills, as she remembered the 'old people' and their naked adventures on tape.

"Oh my..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Having grown bored with the talk about who likes whom, the lethargic lycanthrope slinked along as she followed their second youngest brother as he left the compound with the tray of goodies they had prepared for him when he asked. She knew he liked his food, but it was rare for him to take it away from the others, he was normally so nice about sharing with them. Her curiosity piqued, she stalked along behind him, as quietly as could be as he walked into the now mostly empty lot across the street from them with the tray on his head.

He might have been fourteen, but he still tended to act with a childlike innocence, that could get him into trouble. Luckily, he was one of the strongest among them, so at least they had little to worry about with him getting hurt, but he was easy to take advantage of, so they needed to watch over him. Much like their 'Sumi-mama and his 'monkey-mama', he tended to assume the best in people, which occasionally got him into trouble. Staying in the shadows, she snuck close enough to hear his voice.

"Yer hungry, right? Have some, it's really good!"

Even from where she was, Puma had no trouble making out the other person's stomach growling. The nervous female voice, hesitantly broke free from the treetop. "Really? You do not mind?"

"A' course not, we have plenty! Why'd ya stay out here anyway? Ya should'a come in fer dinner with the others!"

"What? How did you know?"

"Well, it ain't like yer hiding out here!"

"Of course I am, that is why I am in this tree!"

"No silly, I mean your energy!"

"Oh come on, yer a bright as a sun out here! You knew, right Puma-nee?"

Slinking out from the shadows, the cat-girl popped one of the pieces of fruit into her mouth. "Of course, nyaaa... Most of us did I am sure, hard to miss someone that bright, we were just waiting to see what they wanted."

"Um, well..."

"So why don't you come down here, have a bite, and tell us who you are, and why you are here, nyaa" She rubbed her fur against the bark of the tree, enjoying the way it felt against her skin.

The multicolored ponytail descended from within the branches, followed by a cute Chinese girl's blushing face. "Nihao!"

Switching to her mother's tongue, she tried to reassure their 'guest'. "Nihao... Most of us speak Mandarin too, if that is easier for you, miao?"

"No, this is fine, I have learned many languages in my training."

"Oh?"

"Here, try this!" Carrot started trying to hand the woman various foodstuffs. "An' this is great! But ya can't miss out on dad's grilled eel!"

Her hands still occupied with keeping her from falling, she was having trouble chewing fast enough to keep up with the boy shoveling food into her mouth, let along taste it.

"The jellies are good too... Hey, Carrot-chan, slow down, most people can't eat that fast, not like that 'Oscar' guy. Nyaan?"

The younger boy stopped force-feeding the newcomer as he could not help but to laugh at the memory of the French boy meeting his rude half brother for the first time. He had never seen anything shut Mama up as quickly as being flirted with by that guy!

"Sorry about that, but my brother won't be as overzealous if you just come down and eat for yourself. We have a lot of nice seafood here, what do you like, nyan?"

"Oh, I am such anything is fine, it all looks lovely." The 'intruder' climbed out of the tree, revealing her strange homemade clothing, and three-toned hair.

"Help yourself, and while you are at it, nyaa can tell us why you are here."

Embarrassed, she could no longer resist joining them in eating the food, she had not eaten in so long, her own provisions having run out almost a day before. She had not intended to be gone this long, or to have gone this far, but once she started she could not bring herself to turn around before they did, and once they crossed the ocean, she knew she would have to rest before she could return. "Well, you see, I was following this guy who hurt me..."

"Oldest story in the book, nyaa?"

"We can help! Can't we, Puma-nee?"

"Probably, if you tell us who you are looking for, Nyaa?"

"Yes, well, this might sound strange..."

"Try us, nyaa?"

"Well, you see, back in China, I met this boy..." They both looked at her with wide eyes. "I was just out, enjoying the clear skys, when this boy about the same age flew over and started talking rudely."

"You can fly?"

"Of course nyaat Carrot-chan, nyaa need wings to fly, otherwise we can only step on water vapor in the air."

"Riding clouds is fun!"

"What? Oh no, that is just silly!"

"See, nyaa?"

"Anyone can fly, it just takes practice!"

"Exactly-... Wait, WHAT?"

"Would ya teach me? PLEASE! OH PLEASE, OH PLEASE! ...Oh wait! Good day and greetings to you. I humbly ask that you formally train me awesomely, thank you and please! Please! Please? Please...?" The desperate tone in the young man's voice was clear, and she found herself unwilling to disappoint him.

"Well, you DID feed me, and offer to help my quest..." Seeing the look of joy in the boy's face made her melt. "It will not be easy, but I will do what I can while I am here and able."

"Then you gotta stay with us then!"

She was starting to wonder if the young man had alternate motives, but she was not seeing anything 'impure' in his eyes, and she had to admit, she was not looking forward to sleeping in the tree. "Would that really be okay?"

She saw the younger boy vigorously nodding his head. "Ya can stay in my room!"

Puma shook her head. "Don't mind my silly brother, Carrot-chan doesn't think about things like normal people. Do nyaa have anywhere else to stay?"

"Well, not really..."

"Then we will find you a space, we have plenty of room."

"What, really? Why are you two being so nice to me?"

"Why nyaat? So, tell us more about this boy you were following"

She looked around hesitantly in the darkness, still not able to see the girl with the odd speaking pattern very clearly. "Well, other than being a bit shorter than I am, the guy had shorter black hair ...and feathers." The young woman's voice dropped to a whisper as she finished, expecting them to not believe her anyway.

"It figures..."

"It's Mama, isn't it?"

"No, I said it was a boy..."

"Sorry, no, Mama-kyun is one of our other brothers, kind of a 'black sheep'. Please accept our apology on behalf of our family, for whatever our younger brother did to nyaa, if there is anything we can do to make it up to nyaa..."

"That guy's a jerk!" Being the closest in age, he and his buddy Kobara always got stuck hanging out with him when he came to visit, and while there were few people the young martial artist would say he did not like, his younger brother certainly did his best to make it onto that list at times.

"RIGHT?" The two youngest of the teens were energetically nodding to each other.

Puma could not find it in her to argue, she had to admit that she thought the boy needed more discipline in his life, and she was glad it was not her responsibility to provide it, she had far more important fish to fry ...literally! "Come on, let's go get you a bath, you can train in the morning."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Shampoo-chan, what is that thing?"

"Don't worry about it for now, just run! I'll tell you later!"

"Come back here Shampoo-chan, and be my bride, nyaan!"

"I told you, I'm already married! Leave me alone!" Shampoo shouted over her shoulder at the oversized feline chasing them.

"There, maybe we can duck into that place and catch a train!" Kasumi waved as they rushed passed the statue of the loyal dog. "Sorry Hachiko-chan, I don't have time to visit today!" Kasumi loved to stop at that spot whenever she was near Shibuya station, particularly since her first official date with Ranma it had held a special place in her heart.

As they ran passed the statue of Hachiko, they thought they heard something, but in the haste of their escape, they did not take the time to see what it was. They were pleasantly surprised to find that the commotion had not followed them into the station, and managed to catch a train without incident.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Maomolin rarely let anything get in the way of his prey ...unless something distracted him, but he was not about to mention that, however had never seen anything quite like what just happened in front of him. As he chased his favorite bridal candidate toward a train station, an ethereal aura ruse up out of nearby statue which gave him pause. He was momentarily blinded by the bright light that erupted from the figure, and the next thing he knew, there was an enormous white dog with red tribal markings on its coat, and a flaming disk floating over its shoulder, who was growling menacingly at him.

"Oh, hey, what do nyaa want with me?" The bakeneko instinctively backed off as he sensed the power within his supernatural rival. "We can talk about this, nyaa?"

The intimidating inugami inched forward as its growls grew, and it became glaringly apparent that he was not going to pass without a challenge, with each step the white-hot hound took. As it let out its deafening roar, Maomolin lost what little nerve he had, and turned to flee! "NYAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The threat passed, the dog spirit returned to the appearance of an older Akita dog, as he panted happily watching the cat flee. The form of an old man materialized next to the pooch scratching his head. "It is okay, you know. You can follow them if you want. You have sat here long enough, Boy."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Congratulations Kazu-kun! You did so well!"

"Thanks, 'Tsuki-chan, but next year, Carrot-kun will be able to enter too, I'm not so sure I will be able to win then."

"We, need to find you a secret weapon ...maybe you can bring a banana to use as a distraction?" The pair giggled at his younger brother's expense as they headed home from the event, leaving most of their family behind to talk with the organizers.

"Maybe if I threw it out of the ring..."

"I don't think I want to be around you if you are going to be holding a fish for your 'onee-chan' though..."

"Yeah, I don't even think pocket space would help with that!" After another laugh, Kazuma thought back on the fights he had that day. "It was funny that girl who could control water thought those attacks would get through the water shielding technique Pops taught us."

"That woman sure looked frustrated, no doubt, but you had better not block my advances that way!"

"Of course not, you are much more fun when you are being ...'satisfied', 'Tsuki-chan!"

As she was about to lean in to kiss her boyfriend, she happened to notice...

"Puma-nee? What's up?"

"Apparently one of Mom's old boyfriends came for a visit, and decided to chase me instead! Luckily Hachiko-chan ran the bastard off, nyaa?" The cat-girl pointed off into the distance. "Oh, there they go!"

They all turned to see the the large 'ghost cat', being chased over the roofs by a 'ghost dog'. "Well, there's something you don't see every day!"

"We are starting to nyaow..."

"Never a dull moment."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Ranma stared out into his yard, frowning at at the damage that had been done in the recent battle. Even as their new 'dog' chased off that annoying ghost cat, their bird, squirrel, two bird-people, two cat-people, two monkey people, and one dragon girl were all still damaging various things as they sparred with the rest of the children. "It's like I live in a zoo!"

He was contemplating how long it was going to take to fix everything, when he was tackled by Shampoo and Akahihi, who were tired of him looking so dower. "Why is our Airen so down, is having your own personal 'sex kitten' not good enough for you?"

Returning their embrace, he smiled back at them. "No, I am glad you are here, all of you!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Carrot, Airen, can we go out on a date tonight?" Qu Min looked longingly at the boy with with the tail who was jumping around the yard.

"Can we train more?"

"I'll even feed you..."

"You really should Carrot-kun, you might learn something better than fighting."

"Aw, Cobra-kun, ain't nuthin' better than fighting, unless it's food!"

Kobara just shook his head and chuckled. "One day you will become a man, my friend, and then we will see."

"What? I don't have a curse like Pops!"

Tenma laughed at her younger half-brother as she slinked up behind Kobara. "Let's leave the dumb monkey, and go find a place to be alone..."

"Even if you were older, where are you going to find someplace to be alone here?"

"We could go to your room, but who said it had to be here?"

"You are a few years too soon to flirt with me, Tenma-san."

"I'm older than you!"

"Not enough..." Without waiting another moment, he threw himself into his best friend's mother's arms. "Auntie Akahihi-chan! Save me!"

Tenma grumbled to herself as their 'aunt' smiled and snuggled the shorter boy to her chest. Once again, foiled in her attempts to seduce the younger boy. One of these days she wanted to learn how to bypass the locks he had installed in his room...

Also not happy to see the shorter boy snuggling in the red-head's bosoms, Nabiki's son glanced over to him. "How did you do on that test in Torukemada's class?" He remembered the teacher was notorious for having tests that were difficult for the best students to pass.

The younger boy looked disappointed for a moment, as he turned away from the bouncy chest of the cute woman holding him. "Not that well. There was one question I was not certain about and had to guess." The feelings of schadenfreude filled the older boy, enjoying 'his rival's' suffering.

"I mean, I got it right in the end, but I hate having to guess on an exam! Do you know what I mean?" Somewhat deflated, Ryuki just nodded.

Tatsuki giggled under her breath at her brother's failed attempt to pick on the younger boy as she finished rubbing her boyfriend's shoulders. "Okay, now it's your turn, Big Boy. I expect you to do a ...through job." She kissed him on the back of the neck before moving to sit in front of him.

"Thanks, 'Tsuki-chan, that felt great!" Kazuma's girlfriend started to lean into him as his fingers kneaded her back muscles.

"Oooooooo... yeeeessss, just like that!"

"Get a room you two!"

"Jealous much?" Natsuko stuck her tongue out at the annoying younger boy.

"Duuh...! Nobody wants to date Mama-chan!"

"Do NOT call me THAT! Besides, you are just mad I turned 'you' down, Tenma."

"I NEVER asked youuu out, you're my brother ...and not even one of the cute ones, even if you 'are' younger, EEWWWW!"

"Nobody except Oscar, right Mama-kun?" Carrot tried to be helpful, not wanting the other boy to feel left out, not that he personally cared about dating, it was just a distraction from training!

"Hey, don't talk about that guy!" The winged boy grimaced as several other teens laughed at him. "This is all YOUR fault!" He turned to point at the young kunoichi.

"Me? What did I do?" Natsuko looked around confused. "I didn't even flirt with you today, I was too busy playing with Nyaa-kun's tail!"

"I am not sure, but I KNOW you put them up to this or something, you slut!"

"You say that like you are trying to insult me... I am simply a proficient professional, it's a required skill, you know?"

"That is not a 'profession' that 'I' would brag about!"

"Both of our countries have a long tradition of ninja, it is an 'honorable' trade!"

"Honor my butt!"

"Not even if you just washed it!"

"I'm not going to take that crap from a ku...noichi!"

"So? What are you going to 'do' about it then?" Kissing Nyanma on the cheek, she got up from his lap, tilting her head to the side as she waited for his reaction.

"At least I didn't lose my virginity when I was thirteen to some drunken punk!"

"Is that true?"

"No, it was Nyanma, of course, but at least I 'lost' mine! Which is more than I can say for you, chuunibyou!"

He could see the frustration in her response and chose to keep pushing. Not being one of his actual siblings, he considered the kunoichi far beneath him ...for some reason, her brother did not bother him as much, but he did not know why that was the case. "That is not what I have heard, I believe someone told me the guy's name was 'Kuno'...?"

Tenma gawked at the shortest boy in the yard with a look of disbelief. "Kobara-chan! How could you?"

"Not ME! Natsuko's cute, but too young for my tastes!"

"Thank you, 'Bara-chan, you really think so?" She blushed a bit at the complement as she looked over to the shorter boy.

"Certainly, if you were only a few years older..." He winked back at her with his rakish smile.

"Awww... Well we can pretend sometime if you want, cutie."

"Hey! Lay off you home-wrecker!" Kazuma held his younger sister back, not wanting to see her get involved in the fight as well. "Kobara-chan is mine!"

"In your dreams, Tenma-chan." The short teen was dismissive in his rejection of the insistent older girl.

With a grin, the kunoichi blew a kiss toward the littlest Kuno. "Then it's a date."

"I did not say that, I am not good at 'pretending', sorry."

"See, you even got rejected by the infamous playboy, you slattern!"

"That's different!" The kunoichi's face grew bright red. "Kobara-chan is a ...special case."

"Try Carrot, that one doesn't have anyone."

"It not as if I am not trying!" Qu Min's indignant interjection surprised a few.

"Carrot is also ...very 'special'." She glanced over toward the younger boy, sorry about the way that sounded, no matter how 'true' it might have been.

"Are you calling our brother a moron?"

"I didn't mean it like that!"

"Are the rest of you going to take that?"

"Well, it's not exactly untrue..." The group of teens looked around nodding, it was not as if any of could say they had not said something similar at some point.

"I am not going to that that kind of insult from someone whose mother was rejected by Father!"

"So, when I marry your brother it will be okay?"

Mama cringed as he thought about that hussy marrying into his family. "NOOOOooooo...!" With that, he launched himself at the hated teen, temporarily forgetting his tactics as the rage overcame him.

The happy kunoichi danced back as he lunged for her, giggling at the younger boy's clumsy attacks. "Boy, those strikes are pretty ...impotent."

"I was trying to go easy on you, but if you want to see 'potent'-..." Jumping into the air, he looked for the best angle for his assault.

"Oh I DO! Show me, Big Boy!" Having learned better than to allow the flying boy to position himself between her and the sun, she ducked behind the awning of the house and called out to him. "You know you will have to help fix it, if you brake the house again! Get down here and fight me like a real man, and not a scared little boy!"

"I'll show you show is scared!"

"You already did when you ran away."

"ARRRrrrrgggg!" Already running as he landed, he fired off ki blasts with each hand as he closed the gap between them. His frustration only increased as she continued to dance out of the way of his onslaught with a smile in her eyes. How anyone could trust a person who covered their face most of the time, he could not understand, and her condescending gaze only made it worse.

"Watch out, you're going to break the house! Can't you fight without ki attacks? Try this!" With no further warning, the lithe young woman suddenly changed directions, stopped dodging, and lunged forward with a simple palm-strike.

Not expecting the sudden change in tactics, he barely had time to react, and simply wrapped his wings around him as a form of protection. The slight cracking sound they both heard sent him reeling and her into a panic. "Oh man, are you all right? I didn't even hit you that hard!"

"No! I think it's broken!"

Fuko came running over with her first aid kit after changing into her sexy nurse costume, always ready to give aid to the injured. "It just looks like a light fracture."

"Man, this guy is going to be to be toughened up before we can even try the toughening aspect of the Bakusai Tenketsu training!"

With the door now open, they could hear the news talking about the upcoming elections. "...A woman who took 'there is no such thing as a stupid question' as a lifelong challenge, has won every poll so far!"

"Hey, Auntie Akahihi?" Kobara looked up from nuzzling in her chest, before looking into her wide eyes.

"Uki?"

"Are you still planning to run again?" Seeing her nodding energetically, he smiled. "I know last time was an accident, but you actually did a better job than our last mayor, so I will help if you want..."

"Thank you-uki! Want to see my signs?" Seeing him nodding, she carried him into the garage, where she had been working on her slogans.

As he looked through the posters, the young Kuno read them aloud. "'Monkey for Mayor'? Well, it IS direct, but maybe not the best image. 'Eat Nuts, Give Votes'? ...A bit simplistic, but then so are most voters, right?" They shared a chuckle as he flipped to the next one. "'Give me your votes, but throw peanuts'? Were you just hungry when you wrote that one?" Seeing her blush, he knew the answer and just shook his head.

After a bit of work he held up his first example which read, 'Go Bananas for Mizaru!', and had a small sketch of a monkey eating said fruit. Seeing her nod, he set that one down, and pulled the next one out of the stack. 'Mizaru is a'peal'ing!', under that, it showed a banana in the center, the skin being pealed back, revealing her poking out from inside. "Kyaaa!" Watching her excitedly pointing at her likeness, he smiled.

"I saved my favorite for last, though it might be too long for a sign." 'Vote for Akahihi Mizaru, the first wise monkey! I will 'see' to it that you 'see no evil' in your town!' In the center of this one he had drawn a cute cartoon monkey covering its eyes.

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OMAKE E3

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Mama glared at the kunoichi, unable to believe her audacity! "RESPECT MY AUTHORITY!"

"You don't have any goddamned 'authority', you are an exile, remember?"

"You dirty Ku-!"

"Scrawny twit!"

"I'm not scrawny, I'm thin boned!"

"Must have a tiny bone in your ass then! Especially when Oscar has something to say about it!" She stuck her tongue out at her 'foe'.

"Yeah, well, at least my dad's not on the cover of Crack Whore magazine!"

"WHAT? Your dad's the biggest slut we know!"

All of the teens present turned to her, yelling out, "HEY!" in unison.

"Deny it!" Suddenly they all found somewhere else to cast their gaze as the young kunoichi challenged them to defend their outrage.

"Yeah? Well, your mom wasn't even good enough for that 'slut'!"

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Well, that's it! If anyone has any questions, I will be happy to answer what I can.

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Mizaru: U+1F648 🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL MONKEY, Kikazaru: U+1F649 🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL MONKEY, Iwazaru: U+1F64A 🙊 SPEAK-NO-EVIL MONKEY.

Note: Zhu Li is awesome! You can disagree, but you would be wrong. ;p

Zhù lǐ (助理) is a Chinese word that means "assistant".

If I was not clear, they moved Kasumi's bondage gear into their secret underground room, so they need a 'safe word', in the 'safe room'.

And a huge special thanks to BalrogDeMorgothe, who helped me editing the last third of this or so, it would have been a different ending without him.

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Don't forget to 'Appreciate' us on 'Headnovel', 'Accompany' us on 'Spitter', as well as 'Enroll'ing with us on 'Ourcylinder', also tip your servers ...and stay tuned for the next installment of this 'one-shot' story, that will only ever have one 'chapter'... um, The End! {*I wrote this when it was intended to be a single story, before it got broken up into chapters, but, whatever...*}

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Children List (feel free to change whatever you like/don't like if you use them).

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{I make this list in part, in case someone wishes to continue this into the next generation, such as with the Reality Bytes stories by Jim Bader. I doubt I will do anything with them personally, so ask & odds are I won't have a problem with it. Mostly, I'd just like to know about it.}

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Ranma and Kasumi

Kazuma (一馬) Oldest of hers, just after Puma. Male. Main character (or maybe Puma)? I used the character for the number one, or 'first', for 'kazu', making his name mean 'First Horse', in this case representing, their first son/child. (Calls Shampoo 'Shampoo-ba-chan'/'Auntie Shampoo') He is a very good fighter, though he is quiet, and unassuming, while also very friendly and helpful. A bit taller than Ranma was at his age, with long straight black hair (typically braided), and steel-blue eyes. He mutually likes Tatsuki.

Tenma (天馬) Second youngest of hers, female, likes younger boys (particularly Kodachi's son), ends up with an older one. Her name used the first character for Tendo, and the 'Ma' from Ranma, Heavenly Horse. (Called Shampoo 'Not Mama' or 'Not The Mama' as a kid) She was a bit of a 'brat' as a kid, especially spoiled by her grandpa Soun, and only partly grew out of it. She is a good bit shorter than her brothers, barely hitting five feet (152cm), her hair is light brown and a bit wavy, while her eyes are blue. She was born a few minutes before her twin brother, and loves to hold it over him that she is older, especially once he started to out grow her. She is not a terrible cook, but doesn't really like to do it.

Kenma (拳馬) Tenma's younger twin, male. Likes Fuko, Hinako and Tofu's daughter. His name uses the 'ken' from kenpo, meaning fist, or boxing, so Boxing Horse? Horse-fist? Fighting Horse? (Calls Shampoo 'Other Mama') He looks a lot like Ranma did, though with Kasumi's dark brown hair, but still has Ranma's blue eyes. He is less calm this his older brother, but not as spoiled as his 'older' sister. He is the most like Ranma was as a youth, though he has no problem with being around girls, having been raised with so many around. Tenma likes Kobara, but it is not mutual, she is too 'young' for him (maybe he also insults her in other ways too, not cute enough, not smart enough, etc., to everyone else, he acts more mature, but with her, he acts more his apparent age), he likes 'older women'. He likes Fuko, and has since they were kids.

Ranma and Shampoo

Puma* (璞馬) Oldest daughter, oldest of her generation, born with a curse, as a cat-girl with dark blue, almost black hair, and gains full control over her ability to change due to not only being born with the curse, but getting recursed while still a fetus. Takes after Nodoka (the cougar) in a lot of ways, and is her new protege. (Calls Kasumi, 'Sumi-mama). Her name is spelled with the 'pu' from Shampoo's name, which means unpolished, or uncarved gem, specifically jade in Chinese, so her name means Jade Horse. She was born with her 'curse', her cat-girl form being her 'natural' form, though she can change into a human form if she really concentrates, but she feels 'uncomfortable' that way, so generally doesn't. Has has no romantic feelings for anyone, but she 'loves' fish.

Nyanma* (猫馬), it is a silly way of saying cat+horse (and sounds a bit like Shampoo's cat-girl form saying Ranma's name). Nya-kun to most of his friends. His name can more commonly be read as Nekoma, an archaic way of saying 'cat', though that would use a different second kanji. He is Shampoo's second child. (Called Kasumi 'Sumi-mommy as a kid). Male child, turns into a Cat-Boy, he was born with his curse, but cannot control it like his sister, and was born human as his 'natural' form, cold water turning him into his cat-boy form and hot water turning him back. He likes most women, is a notorious flirt, and very affectionate, but he loves Natsuko. His hair/fur is mix of purple and red, forming a wine/maroon tint over all, with highlights of the others in his cat-boy form.

*Once both of these kids started going through puberty (as well as Shampoo with her new cursed form), their sex drive in their feline forms started to grow stronger, possibly affected by the moon phases, or 'time of the month' for the females, something along that line, whatever feels best for the story. I am thinking since Puma was born with her curse, she should be more like a cat, with a 'heat' cycle in her natural form, where the other two are simply much more amorous in their cursed bodies.

Ranma and Kiima (As part 'seabirds', they are fond of fish, but do not eat large meals, they also have hollow bones, and so are lighter than they might seem)

Fuma (火馬) Only daughter of Kiima, born as one of the Phoenix tribe, she went and got a curse to turn human before moving to Japan to attend high school with her 'boyfriend' Ryuki and the others (or if you prefer, she could be born with the Kasumi curse, which might be especially fun considering she is one of their teachers). She uses the character for fire in her name, making her name, Fire Horse. She is tall, strong, has light silver hair and wings, green eyes, and to live up to her name, she has a flame-like orange and yellow aura (she looks a bit like a phoenix when powered up in her natural form to those who can see auras). Most of the phoenix people have very good eyes, like a hawk, many are archers. Fuma used a bow until she learned ki attacks, and is still quite skilled (maybe she is part of the archery club). She likes Ryuki too (but not as seriously as he likes her). Due to the cat/bird relationship, Nyanma's way of flirting makes her a bit uncomfortable.

Mama (螞馬) Only son of Kiima, born to the Phoenix tribe, but is considered a rebal, a 'black sheep' of the family. His name means Dragon Fly Horse (We do not know what characters Kiima used in her name, so I just picked one at random, and an pretending it is hers). He is not only the 'black sheep' of the family, he is the only member of Kiima's family with dark hair, and feathers, geting his coloring from his father. He was exiled from Phoenix Mountain for trying to use the Imprinting Eggs on others of his tribe and the Nujie Zu (he figured nw that they knew how to free people, it was a way for him to 'have fun'), and had to move in with his father. He starts off as very 'entitled', as he feels that his mother basically rules Phoenix Mountain, in her Kasumi form, but could grow due to his friendship with the others, primarily Carrot and Kobara, who put up with him because they are the closest in age. He can fly in his natural form, as well as use his mother feather attack, and is decent in ki blasts, but is not strong as a fighter in other ways. Once he joins the group in Tokyo, they decide he needs to be toughened up, and teach him the breaking point. He likes to position himself in front of the sun to make himself hard to see and hit, but he cannot just hover for long (uses too much ki to 'humming bird', otherwise he bobs up and down as he tries to stay in one place). He has difficulty fighting on the ground, as he is used to flying in a fight, but can't do it for very long periods of time, especially 'hovering', and doesn't like not having his wings. Like all of his people, he had really good eyes, and can see quite far (perhaps he is far sighted though, like Mousse, and cannot see up close too well). He is one of the most cunning, but doesn't always think things through very far, so Ryuki is a far better long term planner, Mama only things in the short term. He hates Ukyo's daughter Natsuko, partly because she is not part of his blood family (though for "some reason" he doesn't feel that same animosity toward her brother, though he doesn't know why), and partly because he think of her 'kunoichi' status as her being little more than a 'whore', and her teasing him about not having a girl who likes him, and not being able to get laid certainly doesn't help that. He also carries a chip on his shoulder about that, jealous that not only can he not get a date, but also that she will flirt with almost every guy (many girls too) but him. Perhaps he harbors a secret crush on her, or just jealous of her popularity? (Side note, it is also very likely that he was born with the 'Kasumi-curse', and might resent that as well, likely he 'replaced' it with another before the story started). Puma's general presence sets his nerves on edge. In many ways, you can treat him as if Denis Leary were suffering from 'Middle School Syndrome', Chuunibyou, unlike them, he actually has power, just not as much as he thinks he does, nor does he think of himself as a 'hero' like many of them.

Akahihi Mizaru and Ranma

Carrot (紅蘿蔔 - hóng luó bo) Kikazaru(?) - Only son. Has dark-red, almost black hair and a prehensile tail. He is not very bright, but he makes up for that by being stronger and faster than most. Long story short, he is a Goku expy. He loves to fight, hates school, and is good friends with Kobara and occasionally plays the role of his protector, they occasionally hang out with Mama as well, when he is around, because he is close to their age. His name is spelled in Mandarin, but they pronounce it as the English word. As a part of his mother's heritage, like the Musk, he was born with some animal traits, such as a prehensile tail, and a bit more body hair than is common in the area. He cannot fly, but he learned Ranma's water trick, and can use it to stand on any water vapor, including clouds. He like friends, food, and fighting, he doesn't really have any interest in romance. (His mother's surname is based on the 'see-no-evil' monkey, which fits him well, making his name Carrot Mizaru, I also thought it would be funny to have his surname be based on the 'hear-no-evil' monkey, making him Carrot (Karotto) Kikazaru, which has nice alliteration, of course Saotome is always an option too if you prefer, or Iwazaru for the 'say-no-evil' monkey if you prefer). 🙈 🙉 🙊

Nabiki and Ryu

Ryuki (竜貴) natural son. Very strong and smart, ends up dating Fuma once she moves to Japan. Using the kanji for dragon and precious/valuable, making him Expensive Dragon. Used to not get along with his adopted sister, but now they are very close. He is not particularly fond of Kobara, as he replaced him as the smartest member of the 'clan', though his is still one of the craftiest in the group, though Mama can occasionally can be more cunning. He started off trying to run scams and stuff as a kids, but with his mother becoming more legitimate and all of the time he spent around Kasumi and the others, he he did the same. He has has a crush on Fuma since they were kids.

Tatsuki (辰貴) Adopted daughter (so Nabiki did not lose her figure again). She is an otaku? Instead of using the same kanji for dragon as her brother, they used the character for the dragon zodiac sign, so she is also a 'Precious Dragon'. (Called her brother 'Ki-ki' as a kid, maybe still does occasionally, either when teasing, or during emotional scenes). They are basically the same age, but she does not know her actual birthday, so now shares one with her beloved 'older' brother. She has a thing for Kazuma.

Ukyo and Konatsu

Yumio (右澪) Oldest son, secretly Ranma's son, but most either do not know, or do not say anything if they do. He looks like a younger Ranma, dresses like Ukyo, but in black and red, and is aiming to take her place as the best Okonomiyaki chef in the world! He had black hair worn in a low ponytail, and bright blue eyes. His name means West Waterway. He likes Rankou? (or one of Ranma's daughters? Puma or Fuma maybe to give a rivalry there?) not knowing she is related. Whomever it is, the feelings are not mutual anyway.

Natsuko (夏子) younger daughter, Konatsu's actual daughter, and takes after him in many ways. She is aiming to become a kunoichi, and has grown tired of eating okonomiyaki all the time. She has brown hair, worn in a topknot tied back with flowers, she has brown eyes, and she wears a pink ninja outfit, with red scarves and sashes. Her name used the second kanji from Konatsu's name, making her name mean 'Summer Child'. Obviously her birthday has to be in the summer. (Or should that be her conception?) Mama doesn't like her, but in her good nature, she doesn't hate him, but teases him endlessly, especially about his lack of stamina and inability to get a date. He can beat her if he can keep his distance, but between her "cheating ninja tricks" and her superior melee skills, she usually wins when they fight. She likes/dates Nyanma, but as a kunoichi, she is not above flirting, or more, with others to get her way, neither of them are 'exclusive'.

Hinako and Tofu

Fuko - 風子(小)(火) - Only daughter. Long dark green hair, worn in twin braids down her back, and wears large, round glasses. She is aiming to become a doctor like her father and reopen his practice, she is acting as a nurse in the meantime, having trained with 'aunty Joy'. Her name means Wind Child (風子). Small Wind (小子)? Fire Wind (風火)? That last one could also mean internal heat, anger, or danger, could this hide a side of her personality, that rarely comes out? Maybe she has a Yandere side? OR maybe she is really sarcastic or just loves to quietly tease her friends. Maybe she is nerdy as a normal girl, but 'sexy' in her nurse guise. She could have a bit of a weak constitution as well, and need a set of her own fighting fish, or maybe she found another way to keep her energy up (hehe). She also likes Kenma in return.

If someone wants to give her a second child by Ranma, after Tofu has 'gone away', feel free. Maybe Hinama (雛馬) Young-bird (chick) Horse, would work. She could act more like Hinako's younger form/Azusa, into games, candy, toys, etc., and not really into romance yet.

Ryoga and Akari

Kobuto (仔不土) Only son. He has black hair with a green (or pink?) stripe, worn in a pig-tail, and has green eyes. He has both Ryoga's pig curse and his direction sense. Likes Akane's daughter. Friends call him Kobuta - 仔豚 - (piglet), while his mother calls him 'Tonji' - 豚児 - {(1) (humble) my child (esp. of one's son); (2) foolish son; (3) (obsc) piglet}, much to his dismay. His mother dunked him, because she was disappointed that Ryoga's son was not born with his curse, though she did not find the spring of drowned black piglet, she dunked him into the spring of drowned wild boar. Unlike his father, he is intelligent (like a pig), though he does still get lost easily without someone helping him. He is not easy to anger (peaceful, like a pig), unless his nickname is involved, or one of his friends is in danger. He hates his curse and still somewhat resents his mother for dunking him, but takes after her and is a happy person most of the time, and has his father's honesty (like a pig). Side note, a pig's squeal can be louder than the noise of a motorcycle, equal to sandblasting or a loud rock concert, loud enough to cause mild damage, but falling just short of causing harsh pain. Based on this, a ki enhanced squeal attack seems like a good idea for him in pig form. Kobuto likes Sune, but that freaks her out a bit, not used to boys who do not reject her outright.

Mousse and Akane

Sune (絲十) Only daughter. Her name means Perfect/Utmost Silk (or Ten Silks). Farsighted like her father? (both wear contacts now?) Long black hair, styled like Akane used to wear hers at the start of the series. Takes more after her father, but has a bit of a temper on her. Occasionally has issues with her 'aunt' and 'uncle' (**see below), who are near her age, but mostly it is closer to a normal sibling rivalry. Unlike her mother, she 'likes' boys (but no one in particular), but she makes them nervous with how forward she can be, and it messes with her head on those rare occasions when someone might return her flirtations (Kobuto, Oudachi, and so on).

**Genma, Soun, and Nodoka (fraternal twins, she managed to get pregnant by both of them on the same night, DP?)

Sakazu (早和) Soun's son - Morning Peace. Having always wanted a son, Soun now dotes on both him and the woman who gave him one. Akane is not overly pleased by his shift in attention, though the others think it is more or less 'healthy' for him to finally be moving on with his life. Soun trained him in the family style, and due to Soun being happier in his life and teaching a boy, he did a much better job than with Akane, even if the boy is still a bit spoiled from his doting parents.

Rankou (亂交) Genma's Daughter - (Her name means 'Orgy', 'to be sexually promiscuous', or 'to engage in casual sex'). At least at first, she rebels against her mother, and does not live up to her name, in fact, she is a prude, possibly almost violently so. Looks pretty close to Ranma's cursed form, but her hair is closer to Nodoka's auburn, she is a bit taller, and her eyes are brown. She acts much closer to canon Akane, though she is a much better fighter, and her temper generally only come out when it comes to 'dirty things', Mahoromatic style perhaps? (乱, from Ranma's name, is a simplified version of 亂). Obviously she has no interest in romance with anyone (unless she harbors a 'secret' 'safe' crush like Akane did with Tofu with someone).

Kodachi and Unknown (she is a single mother, and does not want to remember the guy who got her pregnant. She loves her son to death, and the fact that he gave her a way to spend time around Ranma in a friendly way just adds to her mostly happy life, making her dote on him even more).

Kobara (小薔薇) Little Rose. A son, a few years younger than the others. He likes older girls, Tenma likes him, but she is not old enough for his tastes. Maybe modeled a bit after the little guy from Ouran, Honey-senpai (who could be his real father, but we are not saying for sure), but with black hair, i.e. he is short and looks even younger than he is. He is smart, happy, but he can be a bit childish at times and uses it to his advantage, especially to get the attention of any older women who might dote on him, or let him 'snuggle'. Unlike in real life, where skipping grades does not really happen much in Japan, this is based on anime where it happens all the time, so he has skipped a grade, to be with most of the rest of them. He likes Puma (and many older women), but she treats him as a younger brother, so he will flirt with other older women, such as teachers and others who are older then her.

Tatewaki + Nurse Joui/Joy (ジョーイ Jōi) 女医, meaning "woman doctor")

Oudachi (皇刀) Emperor's Sword (pun on Oudachi/Nodachi, a 'great sword' sized katana, following the family naming theme) He acts like his father, but he did learn some first aid from his mother (maybe has her pink/reddish hair or something). When he gets badly injured, he might cry out something like, 'Tis but a scratch!', like a certain dark knight, er samurai. Like his father, he likes most women, and the feelings are rarely ever mutual.

Herb + Lemon (from Kasumi 1/2, A Scary Thought, by Derekloffin)?

Qu Min - (Cumin) {闃旼 - qù mín - live alone; quiet / gentle and affable} So, her name means something like 'Pleasant Silence', to symbolize her courtly persona, which is in sharp contrast to her real personality. Daughter of the Musk king who obsessively 'likes' Carrot as much as her father hated his mother, the 'monkey-girl' who cursed him. Prim and proper, deferential even around her father, but outspoken and wild when out on her own, much like Kaori Daikoku. Also, like her father, she is a ki adept, and can use it almost as well as he did, though she can fly much better, in part thanks to her specially designed clothing (she made herself), similar to a flying squirrel suit with dragon scales woven into it. She starts off as a bit of a diva, but mellows out once she meets Carrot and the others, and most of the pressure of her life are off of her (at least temporarily, as she ran away from home). What will happen if she doesn't go home, will her father come looking for her? Will she awaken her mothers powers that may lay dormant with in her? You tell us.

Picolet 'Oscar' Chardin III - Only son of Picolet II and Madame St. Paul. He is the 'black sheep' of the family, doesn't like speed eating, and prefers sword fighting. He is a bit of a 'grouch' about his family and their ideals. One day as a child, he found an ancient family book, from before their days of Battle Dining, that showed him an ancient family art of dual sword fighting, and he secretly trained himself while his parents were not around, which was often. While not disowned, he does not get along with his parents, and they fight about the direction of his life all of the time. His fighting style is similar to the Blue Spirit from Avatar, though his saber is fancier, has a hand guard on the hilt, and is quite ornate. Perhaps, when sheathed, it can be used as a cane or crutch? Or something to disguise its true nature. He is about six months older than Puma. He especially likes Mama (or any freaks really), much to the Chinese boy's chagrin, and the family likes to tease the winged boy about it.

One could also say that Kirin, Lychee, and even Monlon had seven children, who became the next generation of lucky gods, but you will have to ask if you don't want to design them yourselves. ;p

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Approximate Age differentials

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Puma 0 First born. 16 in Epilogue Part 2.

Kazuma 0 Second born, hours, maybe the day after. 16 in Epilogue Part 2.

Yumio 0 Third born, the day after Kazuma. 16 in Epilogue Part 2.

Ryuki 0 Fourth born, three weeks after Yumio. 16 in Epilogue Part 2.

Tatsuki 0 Adopted, actual birthday is unknown, celebrates with her brother. 16 in Epilogue Part 2.

Fuma 0 Fifth born, days after Ryuki. 16 in Epilogue Part 2.

Kobuto 0 sixth born, a week after Fuma. 16 in Epilogue Part 2.

Sakazu 0 Seventh born, Twins, born just days after Kobuto. 16 in Epilogue Part 2.

Rankou 0 Seventh born, Twins, born just days after Kobuto. 16 in Epilogue Part 2.

Fuko -0.5 Eighth born, three months after Nodoka's twins. 16 in Epilogue Part 2.

Sune -0.5 Ninth born, a month after Fuko. 16 in Epilogue Part 2.

Oudachi -0.5 Tenth born, one week after Sune. 16 in Epilogue Part 2.

-Lower Grade-

Tenma -1 Eleventh born, twins, six months after Oudachi. 15 in Epilogue Part 2.

Kenma -1 Eleventh born, twins, six months after Oudachi. 15 in Epilogue Part 2.

Natsuko -1 Twelfth born, two months after Kasumi's twins. 15 in Epilogue Part 2.

Nyanma -1.5 Thirteenth born, four months after Natsuko. 15 in Epilogue Part 2.

-Lower Grade-

Kobara -2 Fourteenth born, six months after Nyanma (but he skipped a grade, so started high school with Tenma and the others her age). 14 in Epilogue Part 2.

Carrot -2 Fifteenth born, two months after Kobara. 14 in Epilogue Part 2.

Mama -2.5 Sixteenth born, seven months after Carrot. 14 in Epilogue Part 2.

-No Grade-

Qu Min +/-unknown exactly, but falls between Nyanma and Kobara.

'Oscar' +0.5 16 in Epilogue Part 2.

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Love Polyhedron (who likes who)

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Kazuma likes Tatsuki

Puma likes (fish)

Ryuki likes Fuma

Tatsuki likes Kazuma

Yumio likes Rankou? (or one of Ranma's daughters? Puma or Fuma maybe to give a rivalry there?) not knowing she is related. (Whomever it is, the feelings are not mutual anyway).

Kobuto likes Sune, but that messes with her head, and she thinks he is joking.

Fuma likes Ryuki, but not too seriously (yet anyway).

Sakazu likes Natsuko

Fuko likes Kenma

Sune likes (boys). The opposite of her mother, the feelings are rarely mutual, and when they are (like Kobuto or Oudachi), it freaks her out, wondering what is wrong with 'them'. She actually has not truly noticed Kobuto's affections, and she doesn't like Oudachi any more than anyone else.

Oudachi likes (most women), but the feelings are rarely mutual, much like with his father.

Tenma likes Kobara, but it is not mutual, she is too 'young' for him (maybe he also insults her in other ways too, not cute enough, not smart enough, etc., to everyone else, he acts more mature, but with her, he acts more his apparent age), he likes 'older women'.

Kenma likes Fuko

Natsuko likes Nyanma, but is a kunoichi like her father, and is not above playing with other guys (or girls) to get her way.

Qu Min likes Carrot ...a LOT! Though she also has a bit of a 'loves to hate' thing going on with Mama.

Nyanma likes (most women), but Natsuko is his favorite.

Rankou likes (no one especially), she is a prude, in spite of her name.

Kobara likes Puma, though she thinks of him more as a 'kid' brother. Puma is the youngest age he likes, he also flirts with teachers, and other 'older women', taking advantage of his smaller stature to enjoy their doting. Think Honey from Ouran Host Club mixed with Ten from Urusei Yatsura.

Carrot likes fighting and food, doesn't really understand romance.

Mama doesn't like anything, or anyone ...except when he does (tsundere). REALLY doesn't like Oscar, who likes him a bit too much for his liking ...like, you know? Possible crush on Qu Min, even if he is not aware of it yet.

'Oscar' likes Mama (and other 'freaks of nature'), much to the later's displeasure.

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Parents

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Ranma Saotome - Head of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts, and the Saotome Ninja Maid Service (that one with Nabiki's help). The father of nine to ten children (depending on if you want Hinako and/or Kodachi to have one with him), and the 'uncle' of many others. Legally married to Kasumi by Japanese law, while Shampoo and Akahihi were 'adopted' into the family, by being added to the family registry. He and Shampoo spend their days taking care of the house, their children and those of some of their friends and family, and training the maids who work for him, while reserving his own school for 'family'-only. His neighborhood and family are under the protection of the local yakuza family, who are terrified of him, and what he might do if his family got hurt due to their 'business'.

Kasumi Saotome - Married to Ranma, mother of three, and a full time teacher. After her first child was born, she started cultivating the age mushrooms in her safe room, so that she and Shampoo were able to stay 'younger' than Ranma, who still appears to be in his mid twenties. She is the only one of the three who who consistently works outside of the home. She first taught at 'Arama Academy' elementary school, where she worked with her senpai Machiko-sensei, and currently teaches Home Economics at Furinkan High School with Hinako-senpai.

Shampoo Saotome - Married to Ranma by her laws, and adopted into his family by Japanese law. She helps Ranma with all of his endeavors, from raising their children, to taking meetings with Nabiki, and even meeting people publicly when needed as her 'cute' self.

Akahihi Mizaru - The monkey who was cursed (and locked) by Herb. She was originally adopted almost as a pet by Ranma and his family, but has since worked her way into their midst as a full member of the family. After completing her education, specializing in child care, she eventually 'accidentally' ran for, and won the office of Mayor (Monkey Mayor), and is now trying to get reelected.

Tofu Ono - M.I.A. (Though one of my assistants enjoyed his candy)...

Hinako Ono - Her husband had vanished just before she found out that she was pregnant with his child. While she was unable to keep his practice open, she kept everything he owned, including the buildings, in case he ever returned ...which he did not, and will give them to her daughter once she comes of age. After waiting for several years, and unable to get a divorce, she eventually allowed herself to be talked back into sharing Ranma's bed with the others, unable to forget the night the two had spent together.

Kodachi Kuno - After recovering from her multiple personality disorder (in a profoundly stupid way) and graduating high school, she cut her hair short and moved out of her family's home, wanting to be alone as she started her life over. She did receive a stipend from her family to live off of, but between going to school and her other expenses, she was no longer able to live a life with very many luxuries. After a couple of years, she had started to feel better, and even made some friends from her classes as her hair grew back from her spur of the moment cut of desperation. One fateful night they invited her out to a mixer, and she had gotten drunk, and pregnant by one of the young men at the 'event'. She became reacquainted with Ranma after her 'recovery', and they grew closer with her eventually moving into their ever-growing compound, after Kasumi had sensed the other woman's loneliness and invited her to join them one night, which she accepted far more quickly than she would like to have admitted. She currently works as a psychologist, counseling anyone in Nerima who will talk to her. She does more of her work 'pro-bono', though she has a few wealthy clients who pay her well.

Kiima - Continues to do her job as general and acting as Saffron's 'conscience' in her Kasumi-cursed form (Jiminy Cricket with bondage), while taking vacations to Japan to visit with her 'master' Ranma, and training with her 'mistress' Kasumi whenever possible, while remaining devoted to both of them.

Ryu Kumon - Married Nabiki Tendo as soon as they found out she was pregnant and they had managed to arrange the paperwork to make it legal. It had taken him several years of helping her doing whatever they could to get her through school, but eventually with Ranma's help he managed to developed his father's old style further and he reopened his dojo, bringing in a small but steady income. He may not have been the main 'breadwinner' in their household, but he had managed to keep his word, helping her graduate, and in turn, she had helped him to fulfill his dream. He could not have been happier, and he loved being able to train 'both' of 'his' children, as he loves them both equally.

Nabiki Tendo-Kumon - Nabiki was not willing to completely give up her family name, but compromised for the sake of his pride. Due to helping run Ranma's cleaning business, she had been able to give up most of her less savory sources of income, while only needing to bet on Ryu's fights on rare occasions when things had gotten too tight for her to manage, and focus on her studies. While she had always envisioned starting her own business, she had to admit that running Ranma's was a pretty close second, even if she would have never guessed her life would go that way. She still had to answer to them for how things went, but they allowed her the freedom to run things the way she saw fit, as long as she treated everyone fairly, and with how much money she had been making off of it, she had no reason to take advantage of anyone. Even she never saw herself as a CEO of a company that was doing that well before she had even gotten her business degree, but it gave her enough time to also focus on helping Ryu manage his dojo once he had reopened it, and found it far more satisfying than she ever could have dreamed. After 'accidentally' having their first child, she decided that she did not want to give up the time from her schedule, nor did she want to ruin her figure again, it had taken her far too long to get it back the last time, and she did not wish to ever feel that kind of pain ever again either, so she adopted their second child, not wanting to admit to anyone that she had always wanted a daughter.

Ukyo Kuonji - Soon after finding out she was pregnant from her 'secret' night of passion with Ranma, she accepted Konatsu's proposal and they quietly eloped. She had never told anyone else about it, but there were always rumors whispered when they thought she could not hear, many people had assumed they had all been active for years and so noted their similarities. It had taken her a long time to get over her loss, made worse once she realized he had been willing to accept her as well, but she consoled herself with her happy life, her loving husband, and her two beautiful children, and she continued to tell herself that she was happier not having to share her husband(s) with anyone (depending on if/how you want Tsubasa in her life as well or not)!

Konatsu Kuonji - Happily playing the submissive subordinate to his wife, filling in whatever position was needed from cooking, cleaning, or serving tables. Having raised them, he considers both of Ukyo's children his own, even if he is secretly aware of Yumio's lineage, and plays the role of the loving and doting mother figure. (Maybe HE Is the one who has Tsubasa on the side, whatever you want... or have him sneak into Ranma's harem when no one is looking, whatever, he isn't too likely to notice at this point anyway. ;p)

Akari Unryu - Still running her sumo-pig wrestling school, she keeps a short leash on Ryoga to prevent him from getting lost.

Ryoga Unryu - He is embarrassed by the leash, but he secretly enjoys the attention and care he receives, while helping his father in-law training the 'children' (pigs) ...and his son.

Akane Tendo - Mellowed a bit after getting laid, with Mousse able to handle most of her outbursts. She works as a Demolitions expert, and is the one with the lowest overhead in Tokyo, since she does it all literally by hand. She harbors a bit of resentment toward Nodoka and her children, for everything from corrupting her father, to jealousy over how much better he is training and raising his new son compared to her, but her husband is helping her overcome it, and she can work out her aggressions at work.

Mousse Tendo - Helps Soun run the school, while tending to the house and children along with Nodoka. He is able to calmly handle most of Akane's tempers, and raise their daughter with love.

Nodoka Saotome - The new defacto head of the Tendo Household, she uses her dominatrix skills to keep Soun and occasionally the others in line. Her sex life had never been so good since having the two men at her beck and call to please her. She loves to spoil all of the children.

Genma Saotome - Pissed off his wife badly enough that she left him as a mind controlled slave, thanks to the eggs she brought back from China. No one else seemed to notice or care.

Soun Tendo - Has become a much more well rounded person again. Finally having the son he had always wanted and a woman so much like his late wife in his life has renewed his vigor, and while many might consider him 'unmanly' for being so submissive to her, he had actually grown a backbone when it came to other aspects of his life from having her supporting him. He had much more energy, and was once again, an active participant in the household. He spoils his son somewhat, and Akane is occasionally resentful of the attention and training the boy gets.

Tatewaki Kuno - After recovering from his injuries, he had fallen for his home nurse and eventually calmed somewhat. His body never fully recovered, but his enthusiasm certainly did, and he managed to live a mostly active life, he never was able to fight seriously again, though he did train, and still spars with his son.

Joy/Joi Kuno - She is obviously modeled after Nurse Joy from Pokemon, and was added as a joke. She does her best to keep her family in line. If you want to follow Takahashi tradition, you could have her vanish before the kids get into high school.

Herb - Having never interacted with Ranma and company in this time-line, he returned home after completing his quest for the teakettle, and married the woman his father arranged for him. Having one daughter, and spending most of his time avoiding the both of them as often as he was able, still preferring to be around men, where it was 'safe'. He and his people stayed as misogynistic as ever for the next generation, even as he took over as king.

Hikkaku - The Squirrel. He was obviously modeled after Scrat from the Ice Age movies. He befriended Akahihi and the others on their returning trip to Hakone, and followed them home afterward. He acts as their pet, plays with many of them, and occasionally spars with Ranma and the others.

Hachiko - The spirit of the statue of the loyal dog, who had been cared for so well, for so long, that one day it came to life to protect Kasumi and Shampoo who were being chased as they passed Shibuya station as they ran from the Ghost Cat. Thanks to Kasumi's doting gratitude, he followed them home, and is standing as a statue outside their home, guarding them from any unfriendly cats ...Ranma was thrilled. His battle form looks like the wolf from Okami.

Ghost Cat - Still after Shampoo and any other beautiful woman he sees, he is particularly interested in her daughter, being a cat-girl after all, but is afraid of her new 'protector', see above.

Picolet Chardin II - After his crushing defeat at Ranma's hands, he fell into a depression, and was comforted by his head maid and distant cousin, the Madame St. Paul, whom he eventually married and they had a son.

Lemon (Herb's wife from an arranged marriage) - She was actually a stunningly beautiful kitsune, but other than giving her daughter a larger pool of qi/mana, none of her powers have awoken in her daughter ...yet.

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	56. Chapter 56 - Side Story 01 by Balrog

'Today i present something special: a fic written by someone else, who latched on on the writing of Guardian at some point and pretended to help, it's also his first fic so don't forget the pitchforks and torches!' XD

So allow me to present to you...

'Of Kunai and Boys' or 'Birds of a Feather, Fight Together'

Our story opened on an usual sight in the Saotome household, as the numerous children of our previous 'Heroes' (read : entertaining men-children with the power to wreak a town coupled with the social acumen of a 6 years old) were gathered around a meal, bickering as usual, the only missing thing being the parents, who had all assembled for one of their usual rescues, which for once didn't involve a prince kidnapping Akane, while their absence might have seemed minor given the sheer number of people already gathered,...though that was what had allowed what had begun as minor bickering, to turn into something much more.

Talking about the Devil...

"I AM _**NOT**_ THE WEAKEST AMONGST MY SIBLINGS!" bellowed Mama, the self proclaimed guardian of mount phoenix, his face red with rage and his hand banging on the table, luckily (or not depending on if you're a table salesman), Mama was delicate enough to not break it. All his outburst did though, was to put a teasing smile on Natsuko's lips, the daughter of the genius Kunoichi, having once managed to throw the closest thing she had to an easily frustrated little brother into a frenzy with naught but a few words.

Taking her time, she stretched languidly before answering, not even looking at Mama, she didn't need to, his breathing, heavy with anger and outrage, told her everything she needed to know. "If you aren't, then who is? Surely you remember the last time Carrot got too excite while sparring with you?" She had a mirthful tone in her voice, once again hitting a bull's-eye and sending Mama into a sputtering mess for a few seconds. The humiliation Carrot had unknowingly inflicted on him was still fresh in his mind, while the rest of the assembled teenagers collectively winced with the exception of Carrot, who looked positively ashamed of himself and Yumio. All Ukyo's son could do in response to his sister's quip was sigh.

'Mama is a jerk and merciless when it come to a lot of things, but my sister certainly makes a sport of bringing out worst in him. If this gets any nastier, both of them will end up regretting it.' The junior Okonomiyaki chief thought to himself, ready to hear a lot of things he wouldn't like, but steeling himself to endure it and stay uninvolved, they were both asking for it at this point.

Having gotten over his sputtering fit, Mama was quick to glance at his siblings before answering with a satisfied voice. "Kobara, he'd wreck anyone outside of this house, but he is certainly more of a lover than a fighter, beating him wouldn't even take long." His declaration made most of their ignored (maybe 'unintended'?) audience roll their eyes as Mama crossed his arms and looked very satisfied with himself. The only person who hadn't rolled their eyes, with the exception of Carrot, who just nodded, not really understanding he wasn't really part of the conversation, was surprisingly Kobara himself, who only looked a bit surprised before suppressing what almost looked like a fond smile.

'Wow, he didn't even hesitate to count me amongst his siblings, it seems like hanging out with him, and putting up with his nonsense is actually paying The bud of the Black Rose paid little attention to the rest of the discussion, caring only for making cow-eyes at the older girls.

This whole turn of events (would probably use 'this whole situation') was almost enough for Natsuko to lose her amused smile as she hadn't planned for him to actually count Kobara, she would have been in trouble if she hadn't remembered her father's lesson on verbal warfare, if you don't know what to say, move the goal post!

"Well, maybe you are stronger than Kobara, but as you said, 'he is more of a lover', you're certainly weaker than me!" Natsuko did her best to fake a smile as she made her hollow declaration, waiting to see if she could recover her advantage.

Contrary to what was ('everyone' would be better than 'was') expected, Mama didn't go back into a bellowing ball of outrage at hearing that, his reaction was as dismissive as if you had told him the sky was green, and his tone spoke volumes. "Someone stronger than me wouldn't have to hide and take the house hostage to even stand a chance!"

"It's called taking advantage of the terrain, something you're awfully fond of yourself, what? It's not fair play because you got little birdie wing broken last time you ate bit off more than you could chew?" The Kunoichi's remarks were seething, she was more angry at his absolutely dismissive tone, and a strange feeling in her guts, than at his words.

"Mmmph, why am I not surprised? Obviously a Kunoichi whore that who got her cherry popped by Kuno would compare using your surroundings to taking a hostage! That's the kind of people it takes to employ such pathetic tactics!' Mama stared, looking at Nastuko like a judging noble would look at a lowlife.

That actually got a raise out of Natsuko, who didn't even take the time to deny it before hitting back! "Better to be a 'kunoichi whore', than some outcast virgin, whose own people would rather kill than see again."

Much less wordy than Mama's response, but much more effective as the look of pure fury on Mama's face could attest. As Natsuko was congratulating herself on her 'perfect kunoichi strike', her brother was already bracing for the worst.

"Do you really want to talk about 'outcasts', you degenerate squatting filth!? Do you!?" Mama started screeching, his eyes almost bloodshot. "Does the daughter of a desperate whore, who was rejected by my father, and yet still pathetically clings to any contact with him by throwing you in our house at every occasion really want to talk about outcast ? do you even know about your grandfather? Do you ever wonder why you never hear of him? No? You don't? Because you still want to delude yourself with thinking you have a family name? Does the kunoichi bitch, with her delusional weakling of a father, who can't even endure manhood, want to talk about being killed by their own people!? As if you don't know how your clients would react if your father's pretty apron fell off and revealed the kind of freak he is! Talk about projecting! Why don't you stop being the excuse for their harebrained plan to sneak in my Dad's bed before trying to talk as if you're anything compared to me?!" Mama's ranting seemed to only stop because he ran out of oxygen.

Hearing all of this had put quite the strain on Natsuko's moment of self satisfaction, quickly turning it into absolute rage. The gloves were off apparently, and if that was the case, why would she hold back the truth?

"What the hell is wrong with you? Oh wait, everything is wrong with you, from your disgusting bird features to your attitude! You're not even human, not in body and certainly not in spirit, that's why everyone hate you, even your family, the only difference between them and everyone else is that they pity you too much to throw you away and you know that, that's why you're always spewing bullshit, and put so much stock in from which family you are from, because that's all you have, and that's all you'll ever have! That's why you're so mad whenever I am around, because I have more of a place here than you ever will, they got stuck with you, while they brought me in by choice, and none of your stupid theories about some scheme of my parents will change that, nor solve your insecurities!" She almost screeched the last part, nearly ready to pounce on him or defend herself depending on who you might have asked.

What happened next shocked everyone in the room, instead of the expected rage or even attack from Mama, there was a pure detached and cold look on his face, directed entirely at Natsuko.

While everyone else was seeing that look for the first time, Natsuko had been shocked out of her rage as she recognized that look, she had only seen it once, during a secret sparring match she had goaded Mama into to try out a new dodging technique that Konatsu had taught her, during which she incessantly mocked him and just danced around all of his attacks until that look appeared on his face and he began to read her like a book, going as far as using her newly found reflex against her, making them push her into his attack just to avoid what were basically non-threatening ones. That day was one of the few reminders she had that for all his sputtering and bravado, Mama's keen mind, cunning, and lack of mercy, combined with his natural Saotome tendencies, made him as dangerous as any of his siblings, if not more so.

Mama began calmly, slowly and deliberately. "Oh yes, people hate me and I'm just a half breed from some dead race isolated on a mountain in china. Yes, my family can barely stand me. Hell, I'm not even successful with girls, unlike every single one of my siblings. Yet, you're still jealous of me. Why I wonder? Because I actually have a family? Instead of two freak outcasts, who were shunned out of their family tree, and passed their life trying to be the other gender because they couldn't take it? Those same freaks for you weren't good enough over your dislike of goddamn Okonomiyaki? Because I have an actual identity, instead of some delusion transmitted by the son of tea saloon owner? Or maybe it's because I'm an actual inhabitant of this house instead of some convenient furniture? Face it, you're nothing, you're just a part of the decor that dad always pushed on us, we got used to you being around but we wouldn't even notice if we never saw you again. You've got nothing to offer to anyone beyond a bunch of holes! That's why you act like you're proud of being a 'kunoichi', because you think it will stop people from using it against you, you're just a lost little girl disowned in all but name, who keeps clinging onto us in the hope of having an inkling of what having a family feels like. If I left tomorrow, my family would feel relived but at least they would feel something, if you left tomorrow? No one here would feel a single thing and you know it.' He softly ended his tirade, turning his head and uncrossing his arms, his face unreadable.

Natsuko couldn't even move. It was as if someone had seen every single insecurity she had and thrown it in her face. The shock of his insight left her frozen in place.

"Mama!" Kazuma's shout seemed to break Natsuko out of her paralysis as she bolted out of the house as fast she could.

Sighing, and feeling somewhat guilty for having spoken in the first place, Kazuma continued with his best Ranma impression "Goddamit Mama, that was messed up, she went far but you went over the line."

"Don't patronize me!" Mama started to regain with a his more typical petulant tone of voice. "You're not dad, you'll never be, no matter how much you delude yourself into thinking you'll ever step outside of his shadow!"

The conversation ended on that note, Mama simply got up and walked toward the court where the koi pond was.

"I need to take a breath of fresh air, I'll be back later." Mama spoke to no one in particular as he began to fly away.

"Oh no, you don'-" Kazuma started to protest before Yumio held him back.

"They both need it at this point, just like they need to get over it on their own." Yumio looked down with a serious expression.

All the siblings simply nodded and tried to clear their head from what had happened.

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A few hours later, as the Sun was setting, Natsuko was sitting on a roof, high above the district, huddled in a ball. Her eyes red, her cheek stained with dried tears and her breath was ragged. She was unmoving beyond the ups and down of her chest as she breathed, at least until she heard two very soft feet hitting the tiles of the roof, but even that did little more than make her look in the direction of the noise.

There, was standing the last person she wanted to see. Mama himself wasn't feeling any better about their meeting than she was, but he had learned a few things from the time he had spent with his diminutive sibling and Carrot, and it was enough to eat away at his awkwardness and pride. The small glimpse of a tear as he saw Natsuko run away had nothing to do with it, nope, that weakness was good for their father and Carrot but not for him, nope, not him, nor would he ever admit otherwise.

And so they stood there for what felt like an eternity, both unable to walk back what they had said, and unable to finds the words to make it better, that was until they remembered Ranma's favorite way to make the kids make up when they were little and simply walked toward each other and hugged. They stayed there in comfortable silence under the setting sun for awhile.

Surprisingly, Mama spoke first "I know I said you were furniture, but I never said you were bad furniture or that the house didn't need furniture." The young bird of prey looked more sheepish than Natsuko would have though possible, combined with his lame yet sweet attempt at an apology and It was impossible for Natsuko to not laugh.

"You dummy." The Kunoichi chuckled as she playfully tapped Mama's chest...

"WHOA."

...which had the unintended side effect of pushing him over the edge of the roof.

Mama's arms were flaying around as he tried not to fall, and as they finaly caught something Mama almost felt relieved until he realised that what he had caught was just Natsuko and rather than stabilising himself, all he did was take her with him in his fall.

Luckily, for both of them, their fall ended on a big pile of leaves, rather than cold, hard, concrete.

This unexpected incident had both of them blinking in disbelief for a few seconds before Natsuko began giggling and for all he tried, Mama couldn't help but quickly join her laughter.

After calming down a bit, they just contentedly laid there, watching the sun's last ray in silence.

"We're both terrible at making up." Those were the only words either of them had uttered until they went back home, neither of them really sure of who had said them.

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Balrog crawled out from under his boxes, waving to no one in particular as he handed over the small flash drive that contained his story. "Hello, I hope you liked my little story."

Upon snatching the content from the outstretched hand, TheDevian kicked the deformed man across the room. "Good! Now back to the basement with you!"

"Thank you Master, may I eat then?"

"After I proofread it, if there are no more mistakes this time, then ...maybe! Now GO!"

Excited for the prospect of eating that month, the writing slave scurried back into his hole to await his possible reward.


End file.
